#half baked

[definitelysleepdeprived]

I think when given the opportunity Sanemi makes love to you, and much prefers it that way, compared to fucking you all the time.

He cages you down onto the tatami mat in your room at the estate, forearms to either side of your head, keeping his weight from completely crushing you- for the time being. He takes his time in molding his mouth to yours and swipes his tongue out, seeking entry.

He teases though, catching your bottom lip between his teeth when you part for him. Does it just to hear your soft gasp before sucking on it hard-releasing you with a pop. He runs the tip of his nose along your cheek to your ear, presses a chaste kiss to the shell of it, before moving down to your pulse- laving his tongue against your skin, feeling your bounding heart beat.

He feels your excitement in the air between you; smoothes a hand along your side, rough fingers kneading into you- grounding you to the moment when you whine for him to do something- anything for him to move faster. He shushes you with the thumb of his other hand, urging you to take the digit past your lips, utterly uninterested in being rushed with you. It doesn’t take much convincing- seemingly eager to be occupied with more of him. He swirls the pad along your tongue in lazy circles; slowly you take him farther in, bobbing your head at your own pace.

He smooths his palm the rest of the way to your knee, hooking his hand there and wrapping you around him. He groans low when you raise the other and lock your ankles together, pulling him close to you.

[tilbageidanmark]

(All the memes I made..)

[seleniteotto33]

in honour of w2h2 airing here is a pasty ass white boy for the community

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

I thought I was the most devoted to our order’s sacred code of law, but it turns out I’m just autistic and like following clearly defined rules

[prettylil3]

😈😈😈see the rest of this view on my spicy site *link in bio*

[cannabis-islandgirl]

✌🏻🤍

[sunshine-gumdrop]

Half baked tkachuks including taryn and some team USA from 2015

[astralbondpro]

Half Baked (1998) // Dir. Tamra Davis

[mossycobblestonewrites]

DC X/& DP LION KING AUS

DP only:

Things are a bit different,, Danny is Simba yes, Vlad is scar yes. Vlad kills Jack (as mufasa) :).. now for the different things,, Danny runs into the woods where he meets Sam and Tucker (replacing Pumba & Timon) and they basically raise each other. Jazz replaces Nala BUT they are siblings and the reason Danny follows her back is because tHATS HIS BIG SISTER!!!

DC only:

I don't have everything figured out for this one 😔

Damian is Simba,, Bruce dies :).. idk who scar would be.. the BIGGEST DIFFERENCE instead of a Pumba and Timon, Damian runs into the Batkids (ALL OF THEM, JUST A WHOLE FERAL PACK OF THEM) and stays with them :) no clue who Nala would be, don't care, I only care about the feral pack of kids uwu.

DC X DP:

Went back and forth with how to mash them and decided this was the funniest.

Danny is once again Simba with Vlad as scar,, same as the DP only one,,, Pumba and Timon are the pack of Batkids. Nala would be replaced by Sam AND Tucker :),, idk where Bruce is,, or jazz... This was mostly half baked but I needed to get it out

[autogeneity]

I think it is assuredly true that people are shaped by their experiences in various ways, sometimes for the worse, and there are a shitton of horrible experiences most people go through... but there is a sort of trauma-centric conception of self that's become popular and I find it rather,,,dehumanizing?

there's two variants of it, one like that healing post where you imagine you were once good and pure and then you were hurt and now you have to fix the damage. and another where you decide that there isn't a secret healed person underneath, and, well, everything you experienced affected you, so really wounds and trained reactions are practically all you really are.

but both seem to conceptualize very low agency, where seemingly the only agent in the situation is you as The Judge And Doctor, they who is looking at the wounds and triggers and reactions and diagnosing them and deciding what to cull. in which these judgements of course are magically free of context or influence. but the core You is only capable of Reacting.

there's this quote that often goes around:

under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being. Robert Anton Wilson

I understand it is meant to be sympathetic. and like the implication is that you should be kind and understanding of people's shortcomings or whatever, which you should. and in some ways it may be true. but I don't know if having a concept of people that consists largely of seeing them as a vessel of pain and desperation, is very, idk. respectful.

thinking of this perspective, for instance, it feels to me to rob people, including yourself, of dignity.

and people can sit around explaining how humans actually like sunsets out of trauma, or what kinds of things should be done to people to train the correct reactions (oh, sorry, what good behaviours your therapist says you should reward), or whatever. or like maybe we should have a different abstraction of what it means to be a person.

[smoking-witch]

A gif of me grinding... That's it

[studio-multi]

Half Baked #5

Title: Recovery

Cast: Physical Therapist!OC/Reader x Idol!Min Yoongi

Plot: OC/R is the hired PT for Yoongi, post shoulder surgery. He's a little lonely without the group around, so he calls her up late one Friday after work. Can be left as SFW or turned into NSFW, up to the writer.

Starter:

Yoongi was wincing, his face twisted with the effort he was putting into the exercise you had just instructed him to do. Obviously over exerted due to the intensity of the physical therapy program he had requested in order to recover quickly and seamlessly. 

“Why don’t we take a break?”

Yoongi glanced at you and then away quickly.

“Just a little longer,” he gravels out through clenched teeth.

With a roll of your eyes you slip your hospital scissors from one of the many pockets on your scrubs and snip the rubber tension band in two. Releasing Yoongi from his torture forcefully, but safely. 

“AIGOOO!” Yoongi cries as he is knocked off balance.

Biting back your smile you catch him before he ever has the chance to topple off the padded wood of the therapy table. 

“Sit back, you’re done for the day.”

You press down on the chest of his good shoulder until he is laid back on the mat. Yoongi complies with a rejected sigh. You begin to check his spinal alignment for needed corrections. 

“I could have completed the set.” Yoongi breathes, you watch as his pupils shifting behind his closed lids.

“Mr. Min, if you overwork the shoulder then the surgery itself will be rendered useless.”

Satisfied that he hadn’t slipped anything out of place you step away, Yoongi’s presence deemed he only be touched the necessary amount. 

He cracks an eye open at you, folded hands tapping the divide of his ribcage and stomach, “is that all?”

“Mmm,” You give him a nod before exiting the room. “Have a relaxing weekend Mr. Min.”

“Yoongi!” You chuckle at his disgruntled yell.

-

You had been Min Yoongi’s personal therapist since his release from surgery. Which meant HYBE had hired you exclusively for the next six months, you couldn’t see any other patients in case there was an emergency.

“How is the grumpy old cat?” Your friend and coworker slips into your high bar table with a bottle of beer and soju in hand.

“He’s progressing really well, and has a tendency to overwork himself.”

You flip the soju bottle, quickly righting it and popping off the cap to pour two glasses.

“I can’t wait until you’re back, it’s boring at work without you.”

He lets out a dramatic sigh, leaning his face into his hand.

“Boring or do you just miss having your coffee bitch.” 

“Hmm...that too,” He grins at you unashamed. 

“Only two months left if we have no setbacks.”

“To two months!”

You clink glasses.

Three hours and a couple of coin karaoke songs later you are depositing your coworker into a taxi, when your phone starts blaring Round and Round by Heize.

Your tired eyes scrunch up, trying to compute as to why Min Yoongi was calling you.

[i-love-weed-n-cheese]

I love weed, ok? I love it! But not as much as I love pussy!

[sabakos]

People are mostly the product of their surroundings. The abject goal of reflection and self-cultivation is to find a way not to be only that.

[caesarsaladinn]

mgs somehow avoids feeling like queerbaiting to me despite pretty much meeting the definition. maybe it’s only queerbaiting when it’s used to sell tickets to hopeful fans, and Kojima is doing something a lot less cynical than that, he’s just genuinely entertained by the idea of his characters fucking, and enjoys the game of how strongly he can imply it before the plausible deniability is blown. or maybe the plausible deniability got blown a long time ago, though again, I think even after the sauna scene it’s still technically in place. barely. no actual romantic kissing or fucking was canonically done

[bostonbakedbean90]

Happy Friday!😤🍦