#hail mary queen of our hearts

[anastpaul]

Our Morning Offering – 8 June – Hail Mary, Queen of Our Hearts, Our Mother

Our Morning Offering – 8 June – The Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary Hail Mary, Queen of Our Hearts, Our MotherPrayer in Honour of MaryBy St Louis Marie de Montfort (1673-1716) Hail Mary,Daughter of God the Father!Hail Mary,Mother of God the Son!Hail Mary,Spouse of the Holy Spirit!Hail Mary,Temple of the Most Holy Trinity!Hail Mary, our mistress,our wealth, our mystic rose.Queen of our…

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch:    “New Beginnings Part II”

The basics:  The OSP works with the ATF on a gun deal while personal changes come to the team.

Written by:   Kyle Harimoto & R. Scott Gemmill

Kyle Harimoto wrote "Omni", "Merry Evasion", "Chernoff, K" (season six finale), "Command and Control" as episode 150, "Granger, O.", "Ghost Gun", "Kulinda", "767", "Se Murio El Payaso", "Assets"/"Liabilities", "Venganza", "Superhuman", "One of Us", "Let Fate Decide" (season 11 premiere), "Decoy", "Answers" , "Watch Over Me", "Cash Flow", "Fukushu", "Bonafides", "Come Together" (season 13 finale) and "Of Value".  He co-wrote "Three Hearts", "Leipei", "Humbug", both ends of the "Matryoshka" two-parter (part one with Gemmill), "Smokescreen" part two, "Searching", "A Fait Acompli", "A Tale of Two Igors" (season 12 finale, with Gemmill), "Best Seller" and “New Beginnings Part I” (with Gemmill)

R. Scott Gemmill wrote/cowrote "The Only Easy Day", "Brimstone", "Breach", "LD50", "Found", "Borderline", "Absolution", "Archangel", "Tin Soldiers", "Impostors", "Cyberthreat", "Honor", "The Watchers" and both sides of the NCIS Los: Angeles/Hawaii Five-0 "Touch of Death" episodes, "Recruit", "Free Ride", "Wanted", "Ravens and The Swans", "Impact", "War Cries", both ends of the "Deep Trouble" season five finale/season six premiere, "Inelegant Heart", "Praesidium", "Traitor", "Active Measures" (season seven premiere), "Blame It On Rio", "Internal Affairs", "Matryoshka" part one (with Harimoto),  "Talion" (season seven finale), "High Value Target"/"Belly of the Beast" (season eight premieres), "The Queen’s Gambit", "Under Siege", "Unleashed" (season eight finale), "Party Crashers" (season nine’s premiere), "This Is What We Do" (episode 200), "Các Tù Nhân", "Goodbye Vietnam", "Ninguna Salida" (the season nine finale), "Hit List", "Asesinos", "Till Death Do Us Part", "Choke Point", "The Guardian", "Hail Mary", "Kill Beale Vol. 1", "Alsiyadun", "Fortune Favors the Brave", "The Bear" (season 12 premiere), "Angry Karen", "Love Kills", "Russia, Russia, Russia", "The Noble Maidens", "A Tale of Two Igors" (season 12 finale with Harimoto), "Subject 17" (season 13 premiere), "All The Little Things", "MWD", Work and Family", "Game of Drones", "A Long Time Coming" and “New Beginnings Part I” (with Harimoto).

Directed by:   John P. Kousakis directed "Imposters", "Sacrifice", "San Voir" part one, "The Fifth Man", "Parley", "Inelegant Heart", "Chernoff, K." (season six finale), "Active Measures", "The Long Goodbye", "Talion" (season seven finale), "Glasnost", "Unleashed" (season 8 finale), "Party Crashers" (season nine premiere), "This Is What We Do" (episode 200), "Goodbye Vietnam", "Ninguna Salida" (season nine finale), "The Guardian", "High Society", "A Tale of Two Igors" (season 12 finale), "Under the Influence", "Genesis", "Come Together" (season 13 finale), "A Farewell to Arms", “New Beginnings Part I”, all of the Afghanistan scenes from "Iron Curtain Rising" to "Zero Days" in season five and all of Kensi’s injury/recovery storyline scenes from "The Queen’s Gambit" to "Sirens" in season eight. 

Guest stars of note: Bar Paly as Anastasia "Anna" Kolchek, Vyto Rugins as Arkady Kolcheck, Ava McCoy as Jordyn Rountree, Natalia del Riego as Rosa, Lesley Boone as Nina Barnes Duncan Campbell as Agent Castor, CSI’s Liz Vassey as ATF SAC Kerry Adams and UFC Champion Randy Couture as ATF Agent Bill Newsome are all back from Part 1.  Pamela Reed as Roberta Deeks returned from season 14’s seventh episode “Survival of the Fittest”, Peter Cambor as Nate Getz returned from “Genesis” in season 13, Erik Palladino returned from season 14’s “Best Seller�� as Vostanick Sabatino, Renee Felice Smith returned as Nell Jones from the season 12 finale “A Tale of Two Igors”, Chip O’Donnell as the New Guy.

Linda Hunt was credited for her voice over work.  Both Cambor and Hunt were credited at the end of the episode to add to the surprise.

Our heroes:   Sail into the sunset

What important things did we learn about: Callen:   Married Sam:   Best Man. Kensi:  Pregnant. Deeks:    Dad to be. Fatima:   Catches the bouquet. Rountree:  Proud brother. Kilbride:  Worried about the younger staffers.

What not so important things did we learn about: Callen:  His Mr. Carl is a butch Mr. Rogers. Sam:    Switch is a specific man. Kensi:   Glowing according to Anna. Deeks:    Former member of the Kiss Army. Fatima:   Running things in Ops with Rountree Rountree:   See Fatima. Kilbride:   Calling the Argentinean military about some missing guns.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  Hopefully somewhere where Callen, Sam, Nell, Nate, Sabatino and the New Guy can find her.

Who's down with OTP:   One got married, one is having a baby.

Who's down with BrOTP:   The show’s central relationship is doing just fine.

Fashion review:  The main characters all wore their Part 1 clothes for most of the episode.  Sam changed into a black Carhart jacket, black tee and black pants as Switch.  At the wedding, Callen and Sam looked spiffy in their tuxedos.  Callen wore a bow tie, Sam a long black silk tie.  Kensi wore a lovely grey gown.  Deeks went with fashion forward with a pink jacket, crisp white dress shirt with no tie and black pants.  Fatima wore a beautiful red gown.  Rountree went with a dark suit and a white tee-shirt.  The Admiral work his work suit, which transitioned nicely into evening wear.  At the end of the episode, Callen is in a light blue button down shirt, Sam is wearing an olive green field coat with a black baseball cap.

Music:   “Private Number” by William Bell featuring Judy Clay played in the after wedding scenes.  “Midunya” by Moroccan Spirit was playing when Callen and Sam arrived in Morocco.  “Hold On, I’m Coming” by Sam & Dave ended the episode.

Any notable cut scene:  No.

Quote:  “I most certainly do.”

Anything else:  Previously-s including the Admiral meeting with Adams, the team meeting with Newsome, meeting with Nina Barnes, the fight in the bad guy’s house and learning that Kerry Adams is dirty.

The shooting continues in the garage.  Callen and Sam find cover behind two different cement columns as Adams and her driver reload.  The time reloading gives Callen and Sam the window to shoot both Adams and her driver.  Adams is alive and trying to get to her weapon.  Callen gets to her gun first.  He calls for an ambulance.  She doesn’t know how Callen and Sam figured things out.

The opening credits are a nice mix of 14-seasons worth of credits.

Callen, Sam and in an-Ops Fatima and Rountree debate whether Adams was dirty and setting up Newsome to take the fall or if Adams and Newsome were working together.  If Newsome is dirty, Kensi and Deeks could be in trouble.   Fatima will contact the two about the change in the ATF’s relationship with NCIS.  Rountree has news from Commander Collins.  About  90% of the stolen weapons are used by the Argentinean military.  The Admiral is going to tell Argentina’s military that someone is stealing from their bunkers.

On overwatch, Deeks is out of snacks.  Kensi isn’t eating – they aren’t on a picnic, they are on overwatch.  They debate whether Newsome is dirty or not.  Deeks wants to play “I Spy”, Kensi really does not.

In the boat shed, Castor brings Nina Barnes to a patiently waiting Callen and Sam.  Castor and Barnes have Starbucks – Castor ordered a girly drink.  Callen wanted Barnes to appear because it was “urgent” but obviously she didn’t think it was urgent.   Since she’s not getting paid, she’s running on her schedule.  Callen asks if Barnes knows who is moving the weapons.  She does not have a name but the weapon buyers but knows they are moving the money with special fund exchange where she may or may not have an account.  Barnes thinks she can set up an arrangement with the weapons broker.  Asked about how the money is moved, Barnes explains that everything is done with an air-gapped computer.  “Good luck with that.” 

All dressed in black, Barnes is reading to make the deal with “Switch”.  She sees the new armory in the boat shed and thinks it had to be Kibride’s idea.  He had a similar set-up when he lived in Texas but the guns came up from the ground.  Callen, Sam and Barnes leave to make a deal with the gunrunners.

Sam and Barnes go to a up for rent restaurant to meet with the gunrunners.  Sam takes a weapon from the boat shed’s armory.

With Kilbride keeping Fatima and Rountree in Ops, Kensi and Deeks are on their own watching Newsome.  Deeks takes out his earwig, Kensi does the same.  Saying they don’t have to be so far away in overwatch, he wants them to move up closer to Newsome and the bad guys.  Kensi could check out the van with the weapons while Deeks causes a distraction with some “bubble gum.”

In the restaurant, Sam and Barnes are searched even though she “never has anything on me.”  The guard find’s Sam’s gun.  He’ll get it when their business is completed.  A man, Bryant, comes from the kitchen.  He’s not happy, the rules are Barnes only comes alone – who is her guest.  Sam introduces himself as Switch saying “this bitch owes me money.”  Since Barnes has credits in the system, she wants to cash out - $110,000, a specific number for a specific man.

From Ops, Rountree has the schematics of the restaurant and will guide Callen to where he needs to be.  Meanwhile, Fatima is cutting cell service so Callen will have to use satellite technology to stay in contact with Ops.  Callen makes his way into the building, just missing being seen by Bryant and his guard.  Bryant notices there is no cell service.  He’s off to check if Barnes has enough money in her account.

The guard returns to Sam and Barnes – Bryant is getting approval to move the money.  Sam/Switch isn’t interested in approval, he’s interested in getting his money.  Barnes wants the money – it is her money.

Deeks is yelling near the gate of the bad guy’s house, looking for Bubble Gum, his Burmese python that gone missing.  The last time he slithered away, he ate a coyote and was sick.  The guys at the front gate want nothing to do with “freak boy” Deeks.  Kensi is able to get near the vans and place cameras on the vehicle.  Deeks is going on about his hypoglycemic snake.  Fatima and Rountree are getting feeds from the cameras.  Deeks is warning the guys at the front gate that their dogs, cats, platypus’s are all in danger with Bubble Gum slithering free.  When Deeks gets the all clear, he leaves after seeing Bubblegum.

Walking into Ops, the Admiral sees that Kensi is just outside of the house and Deeks is by the gates.  He also sees video of the weapons inside the vans being sent by the cameras Kensi attached.   Unhappy the plan was not “vetted by me”, the Admiral wants Kensi and Deeks back on overwatch until the team knows who is running the guns.  He also asks if Callen has found the air-gapped computer.  He has not.  This isn’t good – “we’re running out of time,” according the Admiral. 

The Admiral tells Fatima and Rountree there is a lot of admire about the senior members of the team, a lot to learn from them.  Rountree says they’ve learned a lot from them.  The Admiral was not in the mood to be interrupted since he wasn’t finished.  Kilbride does not want Fatima and Rountree to learn that disobeying orders is appropriate.  Fatima wonders if Kensi and Deeks were “technically” disobeying orders.  They were according to the Admiral, “what the hell would you call it?”  When there is no answer, the Admiral demands one since there are no wrong answers.  Rountree thinks Kensi and Deeks showed initiative.  “Wrong,” the Admiral yells – seems there were wrong answers.  Also, Fatima sort of smiles and that doesn’t help her cause.  She finally raises her hand wondering if they should join Kensi and Deeks in the field.  That goes over poorly.  They will remain in Ops to support the team.

Callen gets Bryant into a sleeper hold, knocking the man out.  A few zip-ties later and Callen is at the stopgap computer.  With his satellite phone, he gets Fatima and Rountree into the computer.   Fatima finds who got the weapons to the gunrunner while Rountree looks for the buyer – Maximillian Dana.  Dana is a businessman with restaurants, dry cleaners and other stores.  Obviously he also sells guns.  Kilbride gives the green light – Callen and Sam can end their work at the restaurant, Kensi and Deeks can secure the weapons.

Just as Callen is about to get offline, the Bryant’s guard walks in.  He takes a few shots at Callen before Callen can take him down.  The shooting in the back of restaurant has Sam, Barnes and the guards in the front of the restaurants all pointing fingers at each other.  Sam thinks the cops are coming.  One of the guards starts shooting.  Barnes pulls a gun from her bra and takes him down.  Sam takes a gun from one of the guards.  Barnes covers Sam as he gets back his weapon.  The two take out the last guard.  Sam gets an all clear from Callen before childing Barnes for not telling him she was armed.  She likes the element of surprise, besides “real gentlemen never touch the good stuff.”  The gun is her “Double D-Defender.”

As she moves to the house, Kensi is taken by surprise by a guard coming up from behind her.  The two struggle falling through a glass door.  Kensi is off comms at this point so Fatima sends in Deeks behind her.  He jumps a fence to get to her, making sure the guard near Kensi stays unarmed.  “God I love you,” Deeks tells her before two other guards arrive.  Kensi takes out one, Deeks the other in a show of great teamwork.  Both Fatima and Rountree are impressed by Kensi’s work.

In the bad guys’ playroom, one of the two remaining henchmen says he’s lost contact with the other guards.  This causes the two to go after Newsome.  They think he’s a cop.  “Kill him.”   Hiding in a closet, Newsome knocks out one of the henchmen, getting his weapon.  The other henchman makes a threat against Newsome.  With the big weapon from the bad guy, Newsome shoots out a wall, shooting henchmen number two.

Outside of the house, the surviving henchmen are being taken away in ambulances.  Kensi and Deeks are sitting the back of an open police SUV when Newsome comes by.  While it is tough for him to admit, he was happy to have NCIS’s help.  He promises that if NCIS ever needs help, he’s there.  Deeks start talking about all the NCIS team members going lone wolf at different parts of their time with the agency and it rarely works.  Newsome has heard enough to know he likes working alone.  As he departs, Kensi gets a text.  Callen wants to meet with them in Beverly Hills.  If Kensi and Deeks leave right now, they could swing by Rosa’s softball games.  Deeks likes the idea of hot dogs and soda.  That gets a “hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo” from Kensi.

Rountree is waiting for Jordyn.  Her alumni interview went well.  Her grades and professor recommendations are among the best they’ve ever seen and certainly the best this year.  Jordyn feels Rountree “oozing negative energy.”  Rountree explains that there is news in their case.  There will be no LAPD trial.  Jordyn is shocked.  There will be a settlement and while Jordyn doesn’t want to, Rountree tells her it is a lot of money.  It will pay for all of Jordyn’s medical school tuition/expenses with enough money left over that they could buy a condo and stop paying rent.  They don’t have to make the decision today but they do have to make a decision.  Rountree thinks the best outcome of this terrible incident is that they can change the trajectory of their family tree.  Jordyn disagrees – they changed that by both being college graduates.  Now Rountree disagrees – Jordyn is going to have more than a college degree, she’s going to be a doctor.  Rountree reminds Jordyn that she did all the hard work – getting the grads, studying, acing her interview.  He’s “damn proud” to call her his sister.

Callen walks into his house as Arkady and Anna are bickering about the seating plan.  Arkady asks Callen where should he sit for the wedding.  “In the parking lot,” is Callen’s answer.  Anna will let Arkady pick his seat if he brings one guest.  Arkady explains he was always a “plus two” wedding guest.  The conversation turns to Titan the DJ and Callen wants no part of it.  He wants to speak privately to Anna, who is about to go but first she warns Arkady that if he touches the seating chart, “I will cut you.”  Arkady is proud – Anna reminds him of her mother.  “And you see what that got her.”  And adds “she will always be my minus one.”

Saying she’s going to kill Arkady, Callen tells Anna to give him the head’s up – Arkady is too big to move alone.  “Not if I cut him into pieces.”  Callen asks Anna if she still wants to get married.  She does but is worried he doesn’t.  He does.   He really does.  He just doesn’t want to do it this way.  Anna apologizes that the wedding planning has gone badly.  Callen promises Anna that none of this matters – he wants to get married now.  “Now now, right now.”  Anna says she looks like a mess.  They can get married at City Hall.  Anna can wear her dress, Callen will borrow a tux from work.  Arkady can go if Anna wants him there.  Callen even called Stacey, Anna’s maid of honor. She’s out of town.  Anna has a backup plan.  She is grateful to Callen.  The two kiss.

Kensi cannot believe that Callen and Anna are getting married.  She is putting on an nice gown.  An arriving Rosa has two dresses – a blue one with polka dots and a pink and green floral dress – and she can’t decide.  Kensi like the pink and green.  Deeks shows up in a dress shirt without his pants.  He can’t find them but Kensi tells him they are in the laundry.  Asked by Rosa which dress, Deeks thinks they’re both beautiful but obviously, the blue one.  Rosa thinks her parents aren’t helping.

Kensi struggles to zip up the back of her dress when the phone rings.  Deeks can’t get the phone so Kensi answers.  It is Dr. Cassell asking how Kensi feels.  She’s thinking of sticking with the bland diet.  The doctor gives her news and she starts crying.  Deeks returns, asking about his shoes.  Kensi ends the call and she’s really crying.  Deeks is as upset as she is – wanting to know how was on the phone. The two hug, he’s scared she’s not talking.  She finally tells him, “we’re having a baby.”  Deeks is stunned – they tried everything and nothing worked.  The two hug again.  He’s thrilled it wasn’t her food that made her sick.  Kensi starts to laugh.  A returning Rosa asks what’s going on.  Deeks tells her she’s going to be a big sister.  Rosa is happy too.  The three have a big family hug.  Kensi wants them to keep this all a secret – today is about Callen and Anna.  “Who?” Deeks asks before agreeing to keep things quiet.  Deeks want to confirm things with Dr. Cassell.

At the courthouse, Callen and Sam are dressed in their fancy tuxedos.  Callen thanks Sam for being his best man.  “I would not be here today if it wasn’t for you.”  Sam agrees.  Callen wonders if Sam feels the same.  After teasing about some heartfelt moments being missed, Sam agrees.  The two shares “I loves you’s” and a big hug.  Callen is ready to get married.  The guests are in the middle of the courthouse floor.  Rountree, Deeks, Bertie, Rosa, Arkady, Admiral and Fatima are all waiting.  All smiling.  Anna arrives with Kensi as her bridesmaid and a judge.  “Let’s get ready to rumble,” the judge says.

Callen and Anna say their “I do’s” with a weeping Arkady watching over Kensi’s shoulder.  Callen jumped the gun on his “I do”, cracking up the crowd before saying “I most certainly do.”  The two exchange rings and their first married kiss.  The Admiral wishes Callen and Anna their best.  Kensi thinks Anna looks stunning, Anna thinks Kensi is glowing.  Deeks is eyeballing Arkady and Bertie together.  Rosa thinks Arkady and Bertie make a great couple.  Deeks asks Rosa if Arkady is what she wants in a grandpa.

Fatima catches Anna’s bouquet, with a “hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo” from Rountree this time.  She tries to pass him the bouquet but he passes it right.  Fatima jokingly calls him a coward.

Sam gives Callen another hug – he was sure he’d never see the day Callen would be happily married.  A man speaking Arabic comes up to Callen and Sam, offering a letter complete with a wax seal, saying “May God protect you, have a blessed day,” translated by Sam. 

As the man leaves, Sam goes after him while Callen opens the letter.  It is from Hetty, who offers congratulations on the wedding and disappointment that she is missing “a glorious occasion”.   While people think she never had a family, Hetty begs to differ, she has had the greatest family a person could wish for “and so have you.”  Callen looks up and sees everyone at the wedding have a great time.  Anna comes to Callen, asking about the letter.  Sam returns.  He tells them about the letter, which Sam knew had to be about the wedding because Hetty is Hetty.  Hetty offers her house in Mykonos for the honeymoon – “stay as long as you like.”  Anna always liked Hetty. 

Inside the envelope are plane tickets to Morocco for a small side project.  Anna promises to meet Callen in Greece as long as Sam keeps Callen alive.

In Morocco, Callen and Sam are in a jeep, going to a side of the road market in their GPS’s coordinates.  Callen is hoping for a cold beer, Sam thinks he’ll be lucky to get some mint tea.  Callen prefers mouthwash.  Sam is hoping some of the locals speak French. Callen is confused – Sam speaks Arabic.  He does, but not the local Darija Arabic spoken by the Morocco locals. 

Callen is drawn to a little woman drinking tea. Saying “Hetty”, the little woman is Nell.  Hetty has gotten herself into a little pickle and Nell with her team is having a hard time getting Hetty out.  “Don’t tell me Beale’s here with you,” Callen says.  Beale is giving a TED talk in Singapore.  Nell’s team arrives – Nate, with a pornstache, Sabatino and the New Guy who is really named Willis even if Sabatino only calls him New Guy.  Nate tells Callen and Sam their up to their asses in alligators.  Having Callen and Sam there is going to help.  Callen notes they were brought to Morocco  under false circumstances.   Nell gives a very Hetty answer:  “Subterfuge is the foundation of good espionage.”  “You’re getting more like Hetty every day,” Sam tells Nell, who takes it like a compliment.  Nell is working on a plan.  Sam and Dave’s “Hold On, I’m Coming” plays as Nell asks if Callen and Sam are ready for their new adventure.  They are.

What head canon can be formed from here:     This is how you do fan service.  Almost every major character got their storyline wrapped up.  Callen, who opened the series as the orphan without a first name, is Grisha who has a living sister, a nephew, a new bride and a wacky father-in-law.  Kensi opened the series as the woman who lost all the men in her life now had a loving husband and was starting a family of her own.  Deeks is a variation of this – his fracture family in childhood has become a loving wife, daughter and a baby on the way.  Rountree’s conversation with Jordyn in Part I changed their family tree with their educations but the settlement with LAPD lets the two move forward with those changes.

As for Sam, I think they knew he was moving to NCIS: Hawai’i for a season.   Sam, the family man, spent the season keeping his son in the air, reminded his daughter that he loves her for the person she is not for the persons she chooses to love and took care of the father who helped make him the man he was.  He could leave them for a year knowing everyone is in a good place. Speaking of fathers and sons getting to a good place, the Admiral getting basically his own episode to start repairing his relationship with his son.

The only one who didn’t quite get her own ending was Fatima.  Catching the bouquet at the wedding may be a hint of where she may wind up with Ali but she was the only character really left hanging.

Planning a season wrap-up next week and a series review week after that. 

Thank you for reading these over the years.  The program got me back into fannish things after a long break.  The community here in Tumblr is terrific.  This is how you fandom.

Episode number:   This is both the season 14 finale and the series finale, episode number 323.

[fromkenari]

Waterloo Letters #4 (4/4): Hometown stuff

Re: Hometown stuff A agcd@eclare45.com                9/4/20 8:31 PM to Henry H, Fuck. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’m so sorry. June and Nora send their love. Not as much love as me. Obviously. Please don’t worry about me. We’ll figure it out. It just might take time. I’ve been working on patience. I’ve picked up all kinds of things from you. God, what can I possibly write to make this better? Here: I can’t decide if your emails make me miss you more or less. Sometimes I feel like a funny-looking rock in the middle of the most beautiful clear ocean when I read the kinds of things you write to me. You love so much bigger than yourself, bigger than everything. I can’t believe how lucky I am to even witness it—to be the one who gets to have it, and so much of it, is beyond luck and feels like fate. Catholic God made me to be the person you write those things about. I’ll say five Hail Marys. Muchas gracias, Santa Maria. I can’t match you for prose, but what I can do is write you a list. AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES 1. The sound of your laugh when I piss you off. 2. The way you smell underneath your fancy cologne, like clean linens but somehow also fresh grass (what kind of magic is this?). 3. That thing you do where you stick out your chin to try to look tough. 4. How your hands look when you play piano. 5. All the things I understand about myself now because of you. 6. How you think Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars (wrong) because deep down you’re a gigantic, sappy, embarrassing romantic who just wants the happily ever after. 7. Your ability to recite Keats. 8. Your ability to recite Bernadette’s “Don’t let it drag you down” monologue from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. 9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you’ve always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. 12. That when your shoulders cover mine, nothing else in the entire stupid world matters. 13. The goddamn issue of Le Monde you brought back to London with you and kept and have on your nightstand (yes, I saw it). 14. The way you look when you first wake up. 15. Your shoulder-to-waist ratio. 16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. 19. The way you look when you first wake up (I know I already said this, but I really, really love it). 20. The fact that you loved me all along. I keep thinking about that last one ever since you told me, and what an idiot I was. It’s so hard for me to get out of my own head sometimes, but now I’m coming back to what I said to you the night in my room when it all started, and how I brushed you off when you offered to let me go after the DNC, how I used to try to act like it was nothing sometimes. I didn’t even know what you were offering to do to yourself. God, I want to fight everyone who’s ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn’t it? All that time. I’m so sorry. Please stay gorgeous and strong and unbelievable. I miss you I miss you I miss you I love you. I’m calling you as soon as I send this, but I know you like to have these things written down. A P.S. Richard Wagner to Eliza Wille, re: Ludwig II–1864 (Remember when you played Wagner for me? He’s an asshole, but this is something.) It is true that I have my young king who genuinely adores me. You cannot form an idea of our relations. I recall one of the dreams of my youth. I once dreamed that Shakespeare was alive: that I really saw and spoke to him: I can never forget the impression that dream made on me. Then I would have wished to see Beethoven, though he was already dead. Something of the same kind must pass in the mind of this lovable man when with me. He says he can hardly believe that he really possesses me. None can read without astonishment, without enchantment, the letters he writes to me.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 301-304). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

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[traumacatholic]

Im on the verge of suicide and I suspect my two sisters are as well. While I don't think I will ever do it, because I'm religious, idk about them. And even if I won't do it, to live in such a torment ad the one I'm experiencing is unbearable and unimaginable. Logically I believe in the power of prayers, but on a personal level I find it unlikely anything will ever help me. But I'm still asking for prayers in the intention of us three staying alive no matter what.

I'm really sorry to hear that you and your sisters are struggling with suicidal thoughts. I don't know where you live, but please know that there will be crisis and non-crisis resources that you can access for support and pass on resources to your sisters (as well as to use for yourself). Suicide hotlines are just one form of accessing support. You can absolutely reach out to your local doctor, or see what other support services are in place. Sometimes you can access therapy groups which can often have shorter waiting list times and can often be offered for free or low cost. There are also a range of apps that are free or low cost that offer a range of coping mechanisms. I would recommend just putting in 'mental health' or 'suicide support' into your app store because sometimes it will also recommend apps that are ran by local resources to you.

As for prayers, something that you can try and do is use these prayers. You can say them when you get up in the morning, before you go to bed, or whenever you feel like anxiety/pain/etc is building up. You can pick up praying one of them a day, or whenever you're able, or using more than one. Whatever you feel is most beneficial to you (and also most achievable). I'm giving you a range of prayers under a readmore, just because some of them vary in length and you might find a certain length of prayer works best for you.

Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner

----

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

----

Glorious Archangel Saint Raphael, great prince of the heavenly court, you are illustrious for your gifts of wisdom and grace.

You are a guide of those who journey by land or sea or air, consoler of the afflicted, and refuge of sinners. I beg you, assist me in all my needs and in all the sufferings of this life, as once you helped the young Tobias on his travels.

Because you are the medicine of God, I humbly pray you to heal the many infirmities of my soul and the ills that afflict my body. I especially ask of you the favor

(mention your request here)

and the great grace of purity to prepare me to be the temple of the Holy Spirit.

St. Raphael, of the glorious seven who stand before the throne of Him who lives and reigns, Angel of health, the Lord has filled your hand with balm from heaven to soothe or cure our pains. Heal or cure the victim of disease and guide our steps when doubtful of our ways.

Amen.

---

O my beloved Queen, my hope, O Mother of God, protector of orphans and protector of those who are hurt, the savior of those who perish and the consolation of all those who are in distress, thou seest my misery, thou seest my sorrow and my loneliness. Help me—I am powerless; give me strength. Thou knowest what I suffer, thou knowest my grief: Lend me thy hand, for who else can be my hope but thee, my protector and my intercessor before God? I have sinned before thee and before all people. Be my Mother, my consoler, my helper. Protect me and save me, chase grief away from me, chase my lowness of heart and my despondency. Help me, O Mother of my God!

----

Thee alone I follow, Lord Jesus, Who heals my wounds. For what shall separate me from the love of God, which is in Thee? Shall tribulation, or distress, or famine? I am held fast as though by nails, and fettered by the bonds of charity. Remove from me, O Lord Jesus, with Thy potent sword, the corruption of my sins. Secure me in the bonds of Thy love; cut away what is corrupt in me. Come quickly and make an end of my many, my hidden and secret afflictions. Open the wound lest the evil humor spread. With Thy new washing, cleanse in me all that is stained. Hear me, you earthly men, who in your sins bring forth drunken thoughts: I have found a Physician. He dwells in Heaven and distributes His healing on earth. He alone can heal my pains Who Himself has none. He alone Who knows what is hidden can take away the grief of my heart, the fear of my soul: Jesus Christ. Christ is grace! Christ is life! Christ is Resurrection! Amen.

[terristarstrike]

What's The Schmooze on Terri Starstrike?:

Set in an alternate retro-futuristic 2005, imagined through the eyes of the 1960s, filled with holograms, highly-advanced robotics, touch-free technology, and a midcentury aesthetic, we follow three best friends - Terrina, Bailynn, and Jack - as they navigate teenage high school life in the beachside Californian town of Westshore. Terrina is the artistically-inclined team leader who dreams of becoming a part of another world beyond her home planet of El-Doe, but still figuring out who she is as a Human-Jotuzon hybrid, Bailynn, Terri’s madly-in-love girlfriend, is a smart, ambitious straight-A student and a hybrid who was born and raised in the human world, and Jack, Terri’s childhood friend from El-Doe, is an enthusiastic and flamboyant genius who’s learning to be more open about his personal interests, while protecting the girls’ secrets from disapproving peers. The three Jotuzons, who are normally giant, are experiencing the highs and lows of human life on human level while figuring out a way to bring the worlds of humans and Jotuzons back together.

Terrina Ave-Lo (She/Her)

The star of our show, the groovy Afro-Latina fashionista from a distant planet who was born as a Human-Jotuzon hybrid. She felt like a misfit amongst the perfect Jotuzons, gorgeous 60-foot-tall giants who are hailed as the most marvelous creatures in the universe, but on Earth, she became proud of her size-shifting gene, giving her the ability to shrink to human level and interact with the Earthlings. Terrina is a proud half-Puerto Rican lesbian who’s learning to live with her long lost dad, the world-famous media mogul Max Raymond. She vows to know why her mother, Empress Genn, wanted her to be a half-human hybrid, but until she finds her answer, she’s determined to bridge the broken gap between Jotuzons and humans. Terri is a girl of many things - She’s the school’s sharp-witted queen bee, a popular cheerleader, and a female quarterback. She loves to paint (though very messily), she’s a songbird with a beautiful singing voice, and she’s the teen model sensation that Westshore is going crazy over. Never misses an episode of That’s So Raven or American Idol. Her small, solid friend group, consisting of her childhood friend Jack and her girlfriend Bailynn, means the entire world to her and she remains fiercely devoted to the two of them.

Bailynn Lo-Shanta (She/Her)

Bailynn Lo-Shanta, formerly known as Bailey Wilson, has been widely regarded as the smartest kid in Westshore: a straight-A student with spelling bee championships and science fair medals to her name, but she’s also known for her strange, weird interests in the unknown. After meeting her current girlfriend Terrina Ave-Lo, she discovered a huge secret about her heritage: she’s actually a half-human Jotuzon! Ever since that day, she has remained as the super-smart, sizeshifting giant who’s passionately in love with the most awesome girlfriend in the galaxy. Bailynn acts as the calculated voice of reason for her trio, but she never loses her fangirl passion for the world beyond. Deeply devoted to her deceased father, Dr. Irwin Wilson, always keeping his Paranormal Journal close to her heart. Unabashedly worships Stephen Hawking, as much as she loves Mary J. Blige. Stays up past midnight to rewatch episodes of the Twilight Zone. She has a sweet tooth for chocolate chip pancakes and root beer floats, and believes in the superstitions of voodoo dolls and tarot cards.

Jack El-Benn (He/They)

Jack El-Benn is a proud transgender Jotuzon and a deeply passionate studier of the Earth Humans. Fascinated by their artifacts and their technology, he followed Terrina to Earth to deep deeper into their world. They’re a very energetic giant who can be easily distracted by shiny objects, but they’re always there to help his most-trusted friends, Terrina and Bailynn. Jack uses his Jotu-Bracelet to shrink to human size and interact with his human friends. Their fashion style often fluctuates from nerdy and preppy to fabulously flamboyant. He is a passionate theatre kid and a proud member of the school’s drama club, who is always taking hour-long makeup sessions to sing the Wicked and Hairspray albums. Crazily in love with *NSYNC and their music.

Khadija Saleh (She/Her)

Khadija Saleh is the Palestinian-Egyptian student body president at Westshore High, and Bailynn’s closest friend. A proud Arab girl and a future archeologist with a strong intuition, she serves as the voice of logic for her friends, while also studying Westshore’s connection to unexplained phenomena. No matter what the odds are, she has always believed in peaceful co-existence between Jotuzons and humans, and is advocating for Terrina’s master plan to interrogate the school. Khadija is fascinated with the ancient artifacts that the giant Jotuzons left behind, and wants to study their ancient language and culture with Terri’s help. Deeply rooted to her ancestral homeland in Palestine. She loves to organize the school dances, enjoying watching local drag races, and is most likely to quote Beyoncé at her graduation ceremony.

Izzy Scott (They/Them)

Social misfit Izzy Scott, born of mixed Filipino, Hawaiian, and Korean descent, is a nonbinary autistic daredevil who strives to break the restrictive gender norms of Westshore. Having grown up in San Francisco, they’re a scrawny, wisecracking enby and a member of the school’s soccer team who is the closest to Terri in personality. They may seem aloof sometimes with their eyes glued to their phone and their ears in their headphones, but don’t cross them though, they might just hit you with a sassy insult. They like cracking bad pun jokes, watching episode reruns of the Simpsons, and watching old commercials from the 80s.

Kiko Ka-Lilo (She/Her)

Kiko Ka-Lilo is a rare Mertilian-Jotuzon hybrid who was born to a black mother and a Japanese-Hawaiian father. Once a part of Kemba’s popular girl clique on El-Doe, Kiko is a shy and meek wallflower who’s learning to stand on her two feet, as she becomes one of the Jotuzons integrated into Westshore High School. She looks to Terri as a hero who helped her embrace her own hybrid identity. She can transform into her Mertilian form whenever she’s submerged in water, and is capable of sizeshifting from Jotuzon size to human size. Kiko loves writing her own poetry, searching through shipwrecks, and wants to prove her worth as the school’s first Jotuzon on the volleyball team. She often tagalongs with the Giant Trio on their adventures.

Sprite De La Rosa (She/Her)

Sprite De La Rosa is a Mertilian of Haitian and Dominican descent who was washed up to the shores of Westshore during a hurricane. Now residing in the local pool, she has a never ending thirst for adventure and exploring the world around her. Helplessly romantic, she falls head over fins for Izzy Sanchez and is starting to question if she’s really in love with them. Sprite juggles her love for acting and volleyball with her passion for reading books in the school library. She is tight-knit friends with her volleyball partner Kiko, who she often calls her “aquatic sea friend.” Her fashion style is always connected to the tropical vibes of the sea. Posts videos of herself on social media singing with her harmonious siren-like voice. As a Mertilian, she can talk to sea creatures, and her legs transform into a luscious mermaid tail when she’s in the water.

Cassandra “Candy” Levi (She/Her)

Cassandra “Candy” Levi is a Jewish theatre kid and an anxious drama queen who’s always setting plans for her future. Like Bailynn, she is deeply invested in Westshore’s connection to mystery phenomena and devotes her entire life’s work to figuring out the truth. Candy might be the biggest klutz in the group, but she’s also the most passionate actress and a member of the school’s drama club. Candy and Khadija always bond over their different religious experiences, and they work together to decode the secrets of their hometown. She and Jack also form a deep friendship over their love for musical theatre and dogs. She lives with her married mothers and her pet dog Licorice in a downtown apartment and firmly believes that her lesbian identity runs in the family. Emotionally attached to Avril Lavigne’s music, as well as jelly donuts that remind her of her mothers’ sufganiyot. 

So what's the schmooze on Terri Starstrike? There's so much more to discover in the town of Westshore, California, so follow us for more fun!

[thecasualfkfan]

As the Red,White and Royal Blue movie is released,here's an email from the book which I really really love-

-------------------------------------------------------

A <agcd@eclare45.com>

9/4/20 8:31 PM

to Henry

H,

Fuck.

I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’m so sorry. June and Nora send their love. Not as much love as me. Obviously.

Please don’t worry about me. We’ll figure it out. It just might take time. I’ve been working on patience. I’ve picked up all kinds of things from you.

God, what can I possibly write to make this better?

Here: I can’t decide if your emails make me miss you more or less. Sometimes I feel like a funny-looking rock in the middle of the most beautiful clear ocean when I read the kinds of things you write to me. You love so much bigger than yourself, bigger than everything. I can’t believe how lucky I am to even witness it—to be the one who gets to have it, and so much of it, is beyond luck and feels like fate. Catholic God made me to be the person you write those things about. I’ll say five Hail Marys. Muchas gracias, Santa Maria.

I can’t match you for prose, but what I can do is write you a list.

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES

1. The sound of your laugh when I piss you off.

2. The way you smell underneath your fancy cologne, like clean linens but somehow also fresh grass (what kind of magic is this?).

3. That thing you do where you stick out your chin to try to look tough.

4. How your hands look when you play piano.

5. All the things I understand about myself now because of you.

6. How you think Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars (wrong) because deep down you’re a gigantic, sappy, embarrassing romantic who just wants the happily ever after.

7. Your ability to recite Keats.

8. Your ability to recite Bernadette’s “Don’t let it drag you down” monologue from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

9. How hard you try.

10. How hard you’ve always tried.

11. How determined you are to keep trying.

12. That when your shoulders cover mine, nothing else in the entire stupid world matters.

13. The goddamn issue of Le Monde you brought back to London with you and kept and have on your nightstand (yes, I saw it).

14. The way you look when you first wake up.

15. Your shoulder-to-waist ratio.

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart.

17. Your equally huge dick.

18. The face you just made when you read that last one.

19. The way you look when you first wake up (I know I already said this, but I really, really love it).

20. The fact that you loved me all along.

I keep thinking about that last one ever since you told me, and what an idiot I was. It’s so hard for me to get out of my own head sometimes, but now I’m coming back to what I said to you the night in my room when it all started, and how I brushed you off when you offered to let me go after the DNC, how I used to try to act like it was nothing sometimes. I didn’t even know what you were offering to do to yourself. God, I want to fight everyone who’s ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn’t it? All that time. I’m so sorry.

Please stay gorgeous and strong and unbelievable. I miss you I miss you I miss you I love you. I’m calling you as soon as I send this, but I know you like to have these things written down.

A

P.S. Richard Wagner to Eliza Wille, re:

Ludwig II–1864 (Remember when you played Wagner for me? He’s an asshole, but this is something.)

It is true that I have my young king who genuinely adores me. You cannot form an idea of our relations. I recall one of the dreams of my youth. I once dreamed that Shakespeare was alive: that I really saw and spoke to him: I can never forget the impression that dream made on me. Then I would have wished to see Beethoven, though he was already dead. Something of the same kind must pass in the mind of this lovable man when with me. He says he can hardly believe that he really possesses me. None can read without astonishment, without enchantment, the letters he writes to me.

-------------------------------------------------------

- Ch 11, Red white and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston

[thewahookid]

October 7th is the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary and the month of October is dedicated to the Most Holy Rosary.

The devotion so beloved among the Catholic faithful that we call the Holy Rosary originates with St Dominic in the late 12th - early 13th centuries.

'Rosary' means literally 'a crown of roses' - the rose being regarded as the 'Queen of flowers'. In many cultures, garlands of flowers are presented as symbols of honour, affection and esteem. Spiritually, the Holy Rosary is a garland of praise, woven in love, in honour of the mysteries by which we are redeemed and saved.

The form of repetitive prayer, as a means of stilling the mind and heart, was already firmly established in Christian tradition since the earliest times. In particular, prayerfully repeating the Holy Name of Jesus.

St Dominic simply took a form of prayer already familiar and enhanced it further - adding to its beauty - thus giving us a simple and effective means of uniting ourselves with God, at any time and in any place.

The Holy Rosary consists of 5 Our Fathers, 50 Hail Marys and 5 Glorias. The prayer is divided into five decades - each decade taking a mystery of the Gospel for meditation. The prayers are counted on a string of beads - familiar to many as Rosary beads.

The prayer of the Rosary engages body, mind and heart. With our lips we repeat the words which Jesus gave us as the formula for all prayer (Our Father or Pater noster) and we announce the salvation of the world as it was proclaimed to Mary (the Hail Mary or Ave Maria) - see Luke Chapter 1, verse 28 and verse 42.

At the end of each decade we adore the Most Blessed Trinity in the doxology (from the Greek which means 'words of glory') - 'Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit .....'

We use our fingers to count the prayers and our lips to repeat the sacred words. At the same time, with our minds we meditate on the mystery from the Gospel and, in our hearts, as Mary did, we worship God and ponder His marvellous work of salvation (Luke 2:19).

The prayer of our lips, the meditation of our minds and the adoration of our hearts is offered, through the hands of Mary our Mother, to the glory of the Most Holy Trinity. In the Holy Rosary, united with Mary, we contemplate the wonderful things God has done in saving us through His Son.

The mysteries of the Most Holy Rosary are as follows:

The Joyful Mysteries (prayed on Mondays and Saturdays): The Annunciation, The Visitation, The Nativity, The Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple, The Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple.

The Sorrowful Mysteries (prayed on Tuesdays and Fridays): The Agony in the Garden, The Scourging at the Pillar, The Crowning With Thorns, The Carrying of the Cross, The Crucifixion.

The Luminous Mysteries (prayed on Thursdays): The Baptism of Jesus in the River Jordan, The Wedding Feast at Cana, The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God, The Transfiguration of Jesus, The Institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper.

The Glorious Mysteries (prayed on Wednesdays and Sundays): The Resurrection, The Ascension, The Coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, The Assumption of Mary in to Heaven, The Coronation of Mary, Queen of Heaven and Earth.

"O God, Whose Only-Begotten Son, by His life, death and resurrection, has purchased for us the rewards of eternal life: grant, we beseech you, that by meditating upon these mysteries of the most holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain, and obtain what they promise. Through Christ our Lord".

[tinyshe]

Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

“O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, ask and it will be given you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you.” Behold I knock, I seek and ask for the grace of [insert your intention.] Our Father*…Hail Mary**…Glory be to the Father***…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.”

“O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, if you ask any thing of the Father in my name, He will give it to you.” Behold, in your name, I ask the Father for the grace of [insert your intention.] Our Father*…Hail Mary**…Glory be to the Father***…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.”

“O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, heaven and earth will pass away but my words will not pass away.” Encouraged by your infallible words I now ask for the grace of [insert your intention.] Our Father*…Hail Mary**…Glory be to the Father***…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.”

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, for whom it is impossible not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us miserable sinners and grant us the grace which we ask of you, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, your tender mother and ours.

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope! To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears! Turn, then, O most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this, our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.”

St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, pray for us.

Saint Pio and Saint Rocco, pray for us.

Saint Pio and Saint Rocco, intercede for us

*Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

**Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

***Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.

[robbierants]

Anne With An E Rant❤️

My fav AWAE Season Is Season 3

Moira Walley-Beckett, creator of the show, weaves a tapestry of both the nostalgic and contemporary. The result is a masterpiece, with the idyllic and charming small town life of Avonlea a perfect contrast for the weighty issues the show tackles, issues that are particularly relevant today. The young but talented cast, led by Amybeth McNulty as Anne, Dalila Bela as her best friend Diana Barry, and Lucas Jade Zumann as Gilbert Blythe, bring the story of Anne of Green Gables to life.

The major theme of the show is its message of acceptance, beginning with titular character Anne Shirley’s struggle to be seen as something other than a ragged orphan who is up to no good.

When Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert (played by R.H. Thomson and Geraldine James respectively) take Anne into their home, they are unprepared for what’s coming. Her big ideas, matched in size only by her big heart, take the little town of Avonlea by storm at first. But the Cuthberts, along with the rest of the town, soon grow to appreciate Anne’s imagination, creativity, and kindness.

Not stopping there, Walley-Beckett introduces Queer characters, Aunt Josephine Barry, and Season 2 newcomer Cole (I fucking love him sm), a classmate of Anne’s. When Cole is shunned by his classmates and family for who he is, he contemplates suicide. It is only Anne’s intervention that saves him from a terrible fate. He eventually finds his place living with Aunt Josephine in Charlottetown, a more progressive town than Avonlea.

Walley-Beckett goes on to bring racial prejudice into the mix as well, with the introduction of Bash, a funny and lovable man who hails from Trinidad, and befriends Gilbert Blythe, Anne’s love interest, while they work aboard a steamer together. Bash goes on to become Gilbert’s business partner, and moves to his farm. It is Gilbert, Anne, and the Cuthberts who make him feel welcome in Avonlea, despite the initial rejection he faces by the rest of the town.

The fight for women’s equality comes into play as well, in the form of Miss Stacy (MY QUEEN) , the new schoolteacher, whom Anne calls a ‘kindred spirit’. An independent woman with radical ideas, Miss Stacy scandalizes Avonlea by donning trousers and refusing to wear a corset.

Season three is as funny and charming as it is heartbreaking. Taking place right when Anne turns sixteen and is busy preparing for the Queen’s College entrance exams, the season deals with acceptance once more: of our fellow man, of identity, and of growing up. Anne’s desire to find her birth parents speaks to all of us who have wondered where we come from. Marilla’s fear that Anne will leave her if she finds out about her blood relatives rings painfully true. It is here that Walley-Beckett teaches us that family is family, by blood or otherwise.

The racial prejudice theme is prevalent once more in Season Three. Bash, his wife Mary, and their child Delphine try to find their place in Avonlea, who is quick to spurn them based on the color of their skin. A new storyline featuring a Native American tribe, the Mi’kmaq, living in the area, sheds even more light on racial issues. The townspeople view them with disdain and fear. Predictably, Anne does not follow their example, and befriends Ka’kwet, a young indigenous girl. (I love their dynamic sm 💕)

With the Mi’kmaq storyline, Walley-Beckett does not gloss over the more unsavory parts of history, but instead brings things out into the open with Ka’kwet’s enrollment in a new school set up by the government for Native American children. What follows is a glimpse into the shocking events that occurred in that era, with the violent kidnapping of these young children, and their forced assimilation. The school turns out to be nothing short of a prison, where Ka’kwet’s beautiful braids are chopped off, and her Mi’kmaq heritage ripped away from her and her fellow classmates, starting with their being rechristened with English names, and forbidden to speak their language. Ka’kwet eventually escapes, but is taken back by force. Her desperate parents are threatened and shot at when they try to get her back.

Anne and her classmates stir up controversy in the town when they fight for freedom of the press after Anne writes a strongly worded editorial about equality. When Josie rejects Billy’s sexual advances, he spreads false rumours about her to ruin her reputation. When nobody looks at him as being in the wrong, Anne is indignant enough to write an editorial about the events that occurred. She comments on the double standards that seem to exist when it comes to gender, and the importance of spoken consent. The town board is infuriated, and retaliates by giving the paper a pre-approved list of appropriate topics to write about. They stipulate that the newspaper will be shut down unless they follow these guidelines, and fire the instigator of the controversy, Anne, from the paper. I'm proud that Anne did this.

Anne brings her classmates together to protest, and in a moving scene, they stand together, mouths gagged by handkerchiefs, and silently hold up a hand painted sign emblazoned with their message: Freedom of speech is a human right.

With this storyline, Walley-Beckett succeeds in addressing many of the issues we discuss today; freedom of speech, media censorship, consent, and gender equality, all without seeming too forced or unrealistic. There is no magical solution for all the problems, but small triumphs recognized as steps to making a major change that the world will one day be ready for. It is richly satisfying and simultaneously accurate for the time period, as women back then still had a long way to go in the fight for equality.

Finally, Anne and her classmates face their biggest challenge: entering the adult world, and dealing with the heavier problems that comes along with. Plans for the future are discussed, preparations made, and farewells exchanged. Matthew Cuthbert struggles to deal with Anne’s leaving for college, a familiar concept to any parent. Anne is left with second thoughts about leaving Green Gables, and cries in Marilla’s arms for the childhood she leaves behind. Diana Barry, meanwhile, makes the decision to attend Queen’s College, rebelling against her parents’ plans for her to go to finishing school in Paris. The right to and the importance of education for women as well as men is addressed here. Diana is eventually successful, and comes to join her classmates at Queen’s.

And finally, Gilbert and Anne confess their feelings for each other. They wave goodbye to each other as they go off to their respective schools, and the credits roll at last.

With all the topics Anne with an E fearlessly broaches, it is as surprising as it is dismaying that the show has been canceled. The season ended off with hints of a burgeoning romance between Miss Stacy and Bash, a multi-racial couple, and the beginnings of a possible public exposing of the nefarious nature of the indigenous school.

Ka’kwet is left languishing in the classroom, while her parents set up camp in the nearby woods to wait for an opportunity to get her back.

We are left with the promise of more that will not come, thanks to the show’s cancellation. Poor viewership was blamed as the cause, though outraged fans have already started petitions to keep the series running. In 2020, with corrupt government, fake news, and a general outcry for change, Anne With An ‘E’, with its messages of acceptance and truth, is more important than ever.

The show had a mere three seasons, consisting of less than 30 episodes, whereas medical dramas like Gray’s Anatomy, and sci-fi shows such as Supernatural, have well over 300 episodes. The Simpsons is in its 30th season, despite declining viewership over the years. But ‘Anne With An E’ is gone. Which leads me to wonder: Is the world not ready to speak about the truth?

[travelingue]

The town where the English and the French learned to like each other

As we drove home from Normandy my wife was unwell.  I fell ill with covid myself back in London.  By the time we realised that the virus had been rampant in France, it was too late to spoil our trip.

We'd stayed near Eu, at the northern tip of the Seine Maritime department.  The name, incidentally, is supposed to sound like œufs (eggs), not like the past participle of the verb avoir.  If you don't know the difference, never mind: the French are as confused as the English on how to pronounce Eu.

The town unites the two nations in many ways.  Take its main church, the Collégiale Notre-Dame church (pictured above).  A leaflet informed me that Lawrence O'Toole was buried here. Intrigued, I stepped inside.

The O'Toole in question, it turned out, was not an English actor but an Irish saint. Spot the difference:

But it doesn't matter which illustrious O'Toole chose Eu as his final resting place. 

One way or the other, it illustrates the fact that the town had been at the heart of cross-Channel relations for a millennium.

A stone near the collégiale commemorates the wedding between Guillaume, a local warlord, and a woman called Mathilde, in the 11th century.  The groom went on to conquer England.

That conquest led to a reverse land-grad: Normandy fell to the English crown.  Over the centuries other French provinces were gobbled up by England, until locals had had enough.

You can think of the Hundred Years' War as a football game.  The French scored early.  The visitors fought back and were set for victory when the French boss brought on an untried teenager.  The substitution boosted morale no end: the youngster didn't finish the game, but the home side won.

Eu's role in the Joan of Arc saga is commemorated by another plaque.  Following her capture, the pucelle spent a night at the castle here, on her way to Rouen where she was burned at the stake on charges of heresy, witchcraft and cross-dressing.

But soon religious strife threatened to reignite conflict between England and France.

Eu became a flashpoint once again.  The Duc de Guise, the leaflet said, settled there.  I remembered from my school days that he was a Catholic fanatic.  But he hailed from eastern France and Protestants were big in the south.  Why come to Normandy?

Eu's castle houses a history museum: maybe I would find the answer there.  A bearded man standing outside the splendid Renaissance building told us it was closed for winter.  He knew because he was the curator.

Figuring he didn't have much to do, I questioned him.  I drew near to make sure I heard correctly.  If he was the one who gave me covid, it was worth it.  He passed on knowledge as well.

In 1570, the bearded man said, the duke married the Countess of Eu.  He used her castle as a base to hound Huguenots across Normandy and nearby Picardy, and to foment Catholic unrest in Britain.

The French king, Henri III, was as Catholic as the next guy.  But his main concern was peace.  In the late 1580s, when he heard that the duke was plotting to kill Elizabeth I, Henri blew a fuse.

"Does he want another Hundred Years' War? How many massacres are enough for him?" "What he wants, Sire, is his cousin Mary - formerly Queen of Scots - on the throne in England and himself on yours." "Get me rid of the felonious scumbag!"

The assassination of de Guise on royal orders unleashed France's umpteenth war of religion.  The childless king was in turn murdered by a Catholic radical.  The killing backfired: next in line was a Protestant.  That successor fostered tolerance but he too was taken out by a nutter.

By the early seventeenth century, France was exhausted.  A peace of sorts prevailed.  But that didn't stop many Catholics regarding the Duc de Guise as a martyr.  In Eu, his widow built a shrine to him.

The Chapelle du Collège des Jésuites, completed in 1624, is one of Normandy's hidden gems - religious zealots, I've noted, often have good taste.

It contains marble mausoleums to the duke and his wife. Both are shown in odd, recumbent poses.

The statue of the countess is particularly striking: she's fallen asleep while reading a book.

Eu remained the stronghold of the Guises, France's most Anglophobic clan, until 1660, when it was taken over by the House of Orléans, who were fans of all things British.

Meanwhile, Paris went the other way.  Albion became the arch-enemy once again.  It remained so for 170 years.  The problem this time was not that the English claimed French land, but that they wouldn't let France (as a monarchy, republic or empire) grab foreign land.

In 1830 something miraculous happened: the Orléans somehow ascended the throne.  For the first time in French history, true Anglophiles were in charge.

Relations didn't improve overnight.  British elites remained deeply Gallosceptic.  In 1840, the French king, Louis-Philippe, redoubled efforts to mend fences: he named François Guizot, an ardent liberal and former ambassador to London, as his foreign minister.

Despite Guizot's record as Britain-booster the English weren't sure the French had changed their spots.

"Those rosbifs are infuriating," Louis-Philippe eventually told Guizot. "I set up a constitutional monarchy, I promote peaceful commerce, I don't bang on about the glory of France.  And they still treat me as if I'm about to invade the Palatinate." "For all they know you are, sire," Guizot said. "They've been burned before."

The minister had a plan.  No English monarch had visited France since Henry VIII.  Britain had a young new queen: why not invite her?

And what better venue for a reset than the king's summer residence at Eu?  There, Guizot said grandiloquently, "the ghosts of William, Joan and the Guises can be summoned and banished."

Victoria was 24 and Louis-Philippe pushing 70 when they met in 1843.  Despite the age gap, the two hit it off. 

The first Entente Cordiale was not a formal treaty, unlike its 1904 sequel.  It boiled down to regular contacts between Guizot and Lord Aberdeen.  "We basically want the same things, so we can tell each other everything," Guizot wrote to his counterpart and friend.

Their successors were not always on such warm terms.  But a habit had been formed.  France and Britain have been allies ever since.  It all began in Eu.

Such historic significance is not the only reason to visit the town.  Its streets are lined with magnificent 17th and 18th century buildings - some are pictured at the end of the post.

The one that struck us most was the Hotel Dieu (above).  It was built with a bequest from the widow of Duc de Guise as a hospital for the poor - religious zealots, I've noted, often have a caring side.

A plaque says that at this spot, on 17 July 1636, the mayor commissioned "an image carved in silver showing of the Virgin Mary carrying the town of Eu" to ward off the plague.

The sign does not say whether this approach to a health emergency worked better than anti-covid measures four centuries later.

[martinwilliammichael]

4 Powerful Reasons Satan Trembles Before the Blessed Virgin Mary

Why does the devil fear a humble woman more than anything else?

In an episode of the podcast "The Catholic Gentleman," John Heinen, Sam Guzman, and Devin Schadt discuss four powerful reasons Satan trembles before the Blessed Virgin Mary!

1. Mary's Humility Humiliates Satan

Mary's humility is the opposite of Satan's pride. Her total submission to God's will renders his arrogance powerless. "God has given Mary such great power over the evil spirits," Heinen explains, "that they admit they fear one of her pleadings for a soul more than the prayers of all the saints."

When we embrace Mary's humility, we share in her victory over Satan.

2. Mary is the Queen of Angels

Mary has authority over all angelic beings, including those fallen. "Those who chose to follow God knew that when Our Lady came along and was elevated above them, they would be at her service," Heinen says.

Satan, who prides himself on his former angelic status, is tormented by Mary's exalted place in Heaven.

3. Mary’s Impact on Salvation

Mary reminds Satan that his rebellion will never overcome the divine mission she fulfilled. "She is the foretaste of deified creation, of creation restored to union with God," Guzman says.

From her Immaculate Conception to her role as the Mother of God, Mary is at the heart of God’s plan to defeat Satan. 

4. Mary Exalts the Lowly

Mary’s song of praise, "The Magnificat," declares that God "has put down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of low degree."

This stark contrast infuriates Satan, who is obsessed with power and self-glorification.

“At the Heart of Mary in 'The Magnificat,' we see why she's so different than Satan,” Schadt explains. “Her glory and her manifestation are directed toward God and not herself.”

George Ryan

September 6, 2024

www.churchpop.com

Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

[anastpaul]

Our Morning Offering – 29 April – Hail Mary, Queen of Our Hearts, Our Mother

Our Morning Offering – 29 April – Mary’s Day Hail Mary, Queen of Our Hearts, Our MotherPrayer in Honour of MaryBy St Louis Marie de Montfort (1673-1716) Hail Mary,Daughter of God the Father!Hail Mary,Mother of God the Son!Hail Mary,Spouse of the Holy Spirit!Hail Mary,Temple of the Most Holy Trinity!Hail Mary, our mistress,our wealth, our mystic rose.Queen of our hearts, our Mother,our life, our…

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch: “Game of Drones”

The basics: A bombing at a drone facility kills one, injures another and sets off the search for some terrorists in Los Angeles.

Written by: R. Scott Gemmill wrote/cowrote “The Only Easy Day”, “Brimstone”, “Breach”, “LD50”, “Found”, “Borderline”, “Absolution”, “Archangel”, “Tin Soldiers”, “Impostors”, “Cyberthreat”, “Honor”, “The Watchers” and both sides of the NCIS Los: Angeles/Hawaii Five-0 “Touch of Death” episodes, “Recruit”, “Free Ride”, “Wanted”, “Ravens and The Swans”, “Impact”, “War Cries”, both ends of the “Deep Trouble” season five finale/season six premiere, “Inelegant Heart”, “Praesidium”, “Traitor”, “Active Measures” (season seven premiere), “Blame It On Rio”, “Internal Affairs”, “Matryoshka” part one, "Talion" (season seven finale), “High Value Target”/”Belly of the Beast” (season eight premieres), “The Queen’s Gambit”, “Under Siege”, “Unleashed” (season eight finale), “Party Crashers” (season nine’s premiere), “This Is What We Do” (episode 200), “Các Tù Nhân”, “Goodbye Vietnam”, “Ninguna Salida” (the season nine finale), “Hit List”, “Asesinos”, “Till Death Do Us Part”, “Choke Point”, “The Guardian”, “Hail Mary”, “Kill Beale Vol. 1”, “Alsiyadun”, “Fortune Favors the Brave”, “The Bear” (season 12 premiere), “Angry Karen”, “Love Kills”, “Russia, Russia, Russia”, “The Noble Maidens”, “A Tale of Two Igors” (season 12 finale), "Subject 17" (season 13 premiere), "All The Little Things", “MWD” and “Work and Family”.

Directed by: Kevin Berlandi. Berlandi is new to NCIS: Los Angeles. He has directed episodes of Criminal Minds, Bull and Partner Track.

Guest stars of note: Kavi Ramachandran Ladnier returns as NCIS Reserve Agent Shyla Dahr from “Work and Family”. Both Natalia Del Riego as Rosa Reyes and Richard Gant as Raymond Hanna are back from “Come Together”. Jennifer Marshall as Navy Commander Neal, Jamil Zraikat as Cyrus Karimian, Jenapher Zheng as Janice Ng, Anna Rajo as Maria Estevez, Turhan Troy Caylak as Darius “Bunny” Vale and Ramona Dubarry as Monica Tavares

Our heroes: Are back at it for season 14.

What important things did we learn about:

Callen: Asks to bring Hetty’s remains home from Syria if she was the one who perished. Sam: Bringing his father to an activity center so he can swim, play pool and poker. Kensi: Sniper. Deeks: Would have been killed without Sniper Wife. Fatima: Doling out assignments. Rountree: Starts an interview with an engineer and ends up defending what he does. Kilbride: Commandeering helicopters.

What not so important things did we learn about:

Callen: Self-titled world’s coolest uncle. Sam: Not thrilled his father broke away from the activity center. Kensi: First day school drop off. Deeks: Not built for first day school drop off or public restrooms. Fatima: Old show went into syndication so Fatima has cool new wheels. Rountree: Calculus is better than is algebra. Kilbride: Betting his non-existent grandchildren.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange? Not in a schoolhouse/safe house in Syria although some of her alias IDs were.

Who's down with OTP: Kensi and Deeks get to be anxious parents dropping Rosa off for her first day at school. They have a long and serious conversation bracketed between some Deeks jokes about how brutal their jobs can be, how awful the world is and that letting Rosa into the world to be her best self is an act of faith that the world will be kind.

Who's down with BrOTP: Not a lot of BrOTP situations. Callen works with Fatima, Rountree is mostly solo and Sam is only around at the end.

Fashion review: Callen is wearing a red, white and blue plaid button-down. Long sleeve black tee-shirt for Sam. Kensi wears a blood-red tee-shirt. Deeks starts the episode in a pale purple tee-shirt before wearing an LAFD fire inspector/marshal’s uniform undercover. White turtleneck for Fatima with a buttery looking black leather jacket (spectacular!). Rountree is wearing a blue, white and grey jacket over a pale blue tee. Dark blue three-piece suit, white dress shirt and blue and white tie for the Admiral.

Music: Not today.

Any notable cut scene: See music.

Quote: Kensi: “You know, all this is making me feel like I want to call Rosa and check in on her.” Deeks: “Okay, pull up on that stick there, helicopter mom, because she's fine. You just need to give her some space and time to find herself and-and to grow. Put the phone down.” Kensi: “Yeah, I know, but how many parents dropped their kids off at school only to never see them again because of another school shooting” Deeks: “Okay, you can't, you can't think like that.” Kensi: “How can you not think like that?” Deeks: “I mean, all right, you can consider the possibility, you can do the drills, but at some point, you just have to give in and believe in a greater good. I just feel like that's getting harder and harder to do. Yeah, well, that's why they call it faith.”

Anything else: A security guard is making his way through an engineering firm. The firm builds drones. The guard’s route is very deliberate, logging in and out of areas as he makes his way through building. As he gets near the exit, he sees a janitor’s cart just off the entrance.

Exiting the building, the guard locks up and logs out. There is a massive explosion. The guard is thrown ten feet from the door and fiery debris lands all around him.

Cue the new credits – a little red in the logo.

A really overprotective Kensi and Deeks are dropping Rosa off at school. Deeks is worried about bullying which makes Rosa nervous about bullying. Kensi and Deeks will pick her up after school but will text if there is a delay. There is a back-up plan with “Naomi’s mom”. After reviewing the alarm code for the house and the panic code, Rosa is finally on her way. Kensi and Deeks rethink their plan with home schooling a possibility. Deeks announces “I’m not built for this.”

As Sam is ready to take his father to an adult activity center, Raymond is walking around in his pajamas and slippers. Raymond is has no interest in “adult day-care”. Sam sells the place which has a gym, pool and library. Raymond is fine with Sam leaving him at a gym, a pool or a library. Sam notes this place has all three. The two bicker before Sam asks Raymond to just try the place. Since they have billiards and poker, Raymond is a little more interested but disappointed that the poker games aren’t for money. “The only fun is when you’re winning real money.” Mrs. Williams, Raymond’s caretaker, will be picking him up at the end of the day. Raymond complains about her driving. He’s also not keen on the idea of making new friends at the activity center since as soon as you get to know someone, they die. The only new things there are hips and pacemakers. Sam is patient with his father as he makes old age jokes.

Arriving through the side door, Fatima sees Callen looking at party venues. She offers some help – she’s good at planning things. Callen was looking for wedding venues. Fatima asks what does Anna want. Anna is torn between a trip to City Hall and Arkady’s dream of recreating “Doctor Zhivago”, complete with horses and snow. Fatima asks if Callen has a theme – traditional, fantasy, cosplay. Callen asks about “fantasy” and Fatima goes on including Sam as a troll, Deeks as a pixie, Kilbride as a wizard. Shaking his head, Callen tells Fatima he’s going to run these roles by them to see what they think. Fatima says no. “It doesn’t hurt to ask,” Callen replies. Fatima knows he’s kidding and asks that he not. Shyla interrupts, Kilbride needs to see Callen.

Walking to Kilbride’s office, Callen asks Shyla what’s up. She isn’t sure but there has been a communique from Syria. In his office, Kilbride tells Shyla to hold his calls and patch the Commander through to the plasma in his office. Commander Neal pops up on the screen. With the help of the Syrian Democratic Forces, Neal and her team were doing some recon work. At an abandoned school, known to be a safehouse, there was an ambush. Human remains were found, burned beyond recognition. One body had documents identifying them as Trudy Chambers, an American female. Callen looks stunned. Asking if the remains of Chambers were that of a small woman, Neal confirms they were. Dental records and DNA is still be checked. She will contact them when they have an ID. Trudy Chambers is one of Hetty’s aliases.

In Ops, Fatima arrives and asks Shyla what’s the new case. There is television coverage of the explosion and fire at Havlock/Haines Aerospace the prior night. Havlock/Haines builds remote piloted vehicles for the Navy. A janitor was killed, the security guard was badly injured. ATF said the bomb was nitroamine high explosive. The dead janitor was Luis Estevez, the guard Morgan Reynolds. Neither fits the profile of a bomber – more wrong place, wrong time. Fatima will go to the crime scene with Callen, Kensi and Deeks will look into the janitor while Rountree looks into the security guard. Shyla seems a little surprised that Fatima is doling out assignments – that is usually the job of a more senior agent. Since Shyla does not see a more senior agent in Ops, “go get ‘em girl,” is her advice.

Asking if the remains will be flown back to the US, Kilbride tells Callen they will be if they are positively identified. Callen wants to accompany them. Kilbride agrees. Callen then brings up Harris Keane, who was travelling with Hetty. Once the forensic team completes their work, the Admiral thinks they’ll know more. Knowing if she was ambushed at a safe house – even if it wasn’t Hetty – Callen believes she’s in danger. Kilbride disagrees – Hetty was in danger the minute she went back to Syria. And there are no safe houses in Syria right now. But since this is Hetty, she has more lives than a barn cat and is just as mean. Callen nods his head in agreement.

In the boatshed’s main room, Kensi and Deeks are speaking to Maria Estevez, daughter of janitor Luis Estevez. After offering condolences, they asks Maria about her father. He liked working as the night janitor – the money was good and it left him time during the day for other projects. As a skilled carpenter and mason, Estevez worked construction jobs when they came up. Kensi asks when did he sleep. Maria has an immediate answer – Sundays. During family dinners in the fall, he’d doze off watching football. Deeks asks why did Estevez work two jobs. Maria explains that years ago, her immigrant father worked two jobs to make ends meet. In recent years, especially after the death of his wife/Maria’s mother from COVID two years ago, it was to keep busy. Estevez did not work with explosives but loved fireworks. The Estevez family loved to put on a display. Asking if there were any financial issues, drugs, enemies, Maria states her father was a gentle and caring man who did anything to help others. Since Maria was told Estevez died in a factory accident, she wants to know what’s going on. Kensi and Deeks would like to see Estevez’s home.

A sullen Callen is a bit surprised by Fatima’s new Porsche. She explains her old TV show was just sold into syndication. When Callen notes the vehicle isn’t subtle, Fatima replies that in LA, subtle stands out. Callen is still distracted so Fatima asks if he is OK. He updates her about the body found in Syria. Fatima offers condolences and asks if they can do anything. They can’t so they should work the case.

Calling in to Ops from outside the hospital, Rountree has no luck with the security guard. He’s lawyered up but even if he didn’t, his doctor said he was in no condition to be questioned. Shyla notes he was healthy enough to find a lawyer. The Admiral wants the hospital staff and the lawyer to be put on notice, “as soon as he can eat his Jell-O, he better start talking.” Shyla is going to get a warrant to search Reynolds’s residence while the Admiral wants to question the staff at Havlock/Haines about Reynolds.

At the crime scene, Callen and Fatima are in the bombed out facility. The sleek, modern place is now a mass of burnt walls, cables and wires hanging from the ceiling, rubble all over. Speaking to executive Monica Tavares, she explains that the explosion is a financial hit to the company. Not only do they have to rebuild but they are not going to meet certain orders from contracts. Callen asks if she knows who would do something like this. Tavares has a list – anarchists, right-wing extremists, anti-war activists. Fatima asks about industry rivals or disgruntled employees. There are some – a few staffers left after they started working for the government – conscientious objections to making “weapons of war”. When Fatima asks for contact info, Taveras agrees to cooperate but makes it clear, none of them would blow up the building.

Callen asks if there were any other issues in recent weeks and months. Nothing as obvious as blowing up the facility but Havlock/Haines has been subject to a “relentless” series of cyber-attacks. The company is working on where they are coming from but no luck finding who is behind them. Callen gets a call from Shyla who has the terribly burned corpse of Luis Estevez on the big screen (ick, show, ick). Estevez was already dead for several hours when the explosion occurred.

Later speaking to Fatima, if Estevez was dead before the explosion, they likely used him to get into the building. Fatima agrees – the bombers killed Estevez, used his ID to get into the building, probably put his body and the bomb into something like a cleaning cart. That would be Fatima’s plan. Callen finds it scary but thinks it would be a good way to dispose of the body. Fatima agrees – it would make it look like Estevez died in the explosion.

Walking around the immaculate home of Luis Estevez, Kensi is on the phone with Callen. Thinking unless he was Jekyll and Hyde, Kensi believes Estevez was Mr. Rogers only more neat. Callen wants Kensi to check if Maria has power of attorney so they can access his phone and financials. Fatima asks about home security but Estevez barely locked is doors. Fatima wants to check the neighbors’ security systems to see if anyone was following Estevez. Kensi will ask. They also want Kensi to ask about Estevez’s daily routine. Meanwhile, Estevez’s Jeep is going to NCIS’s carport – they will check to see if he had GPS.

Moving to the kitchen, Maria is packing up the food in her father’s home. She talks about her father’s truck. Deeks assures her the truck will be released to the family when NCIS is done with it. Maria seems less worried about that, more thinking about how much her father loved the truck. It was his first ever new vehicle. Kensi asks about power-of-attorney. Maria got it after her mother passed away, her father got all his paperwork in order. Kensi tells Maria that they can take info from her father’s phone and financial records and maybe find who killed him. Maria is weeping. Deeks looks so uncomfortable. Kensi, seeing Maria’s distress, asks if she would be able to come up with her father’s daily routine, “Can you do that?” Maria says she can try.

Outside of the house, Kensi and Deeks are wrecked about the pain of the day. Deeks makes a joke about the pain being as bad as kidney stones, annoying Kensi. He extends to the joke to childbirth, leading Kensi to calling him an idiot. When Deeks says he’s joking, Kensi wants to know why. “Because if I don’t joke, this job is too sad for me to keep doing it.” Kensi understands but thinks he’s an idiot – a loveable one. All the sadness has Kensi wanting to call Rosa and see if she’s OK. Deeks stops her – this is Rosa’s time to “find herself and to grow.” Kensi brings up school shootings, something Deeks does not want to think about. It is what Kensi thinks about. Deeks tells her they can do the drills and prepare Rosa the best they can but at some point “you just have to give in and believe in a greater good.” Kensi finds that hard to do but Deeks tells her that’s what faith is. “I mean George Michael even wrote a song about it.” Deeks makes some George jokes.

Arriving at Ops, the Admiral wants a sit-rep. Shyla fills him in on the team’s status. She is also working with NCIS CYBER to find who is behind the cyber-attacks against Havlock/Haines. The Admiral figures that whoever did this was willing to kill an innocent man and used high end explosives – they are not militia “idiots”. Shyla suggests industrial espionage – a rival company that wants some of the hundreds of millions of dollars available in military contracts. The Admiral is rooting for that because the alternative is state sponsored terrorism.

As Kilbride walks back to his office, Callen calls up from the bullpen, looking for news about the remains and Trudy Chambers. Kilbride assures Callen he would have updated him if there was any news from Syria. The Admiral’s more pressing concern is whoever blew up Havlock/Haines since they like aren’t done. He wants Callen focused on the task at hand and not Hetty. “Now go catch these bastards before they strike again.”

In the carport, Fatima is working on Estevez’s truck. She tells Callen that the vehicle was wiped clean – she can still smell the bleach. Callen gets a call from Alex asking if she wants to hang out with Jake. Fatima wishes she had a niece or nephew – it seems like fun. Callen agrees it is while they are young. When they get a little older, less time for the world’s coolest uncle and more time for teenage girls. Fatima asks if Callen gave himself the designation of world’s coolest uncle. Callen wants to know who is cooler than he is? After Fatima laughs, she announces he’s cool, “like supercool.” “Let’s not oversell it.”

In the boatshed, Rountree and Shyla on the plasma are chatting. He is meeting with Janice Ng who left Havlock/Haines when they started working for the DoD. Shyla gets an alert from CYBER – the source of the attack is coming from Beirut, Lebanon.

With Fatima and Callen back in Ops with Shyla, they are discussing Lebanon being an US ally but Hezbollah, a militant group with a political arm, is not. Callen brings up two Hezbollah operatives who were arrested in the US for planning acts of terrorism. Those arrests were for fundraising and weapon buys but things may have gotten more aggressive since the US’s relationship with Iran gets worse. Iran funds a lot of Hezbollah’s actions. Asking about Estevez’s truck, Callen tells Shyla that the truck was wiped clean as was his GPS. Callen wants a list from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence of any known Hezbollah members in the US, especially anyone on the West Coast.

In the boat shed, Janice Ng explains she joined Havlock/Haines to be part of the team that put the first person on Mars. She did not sign up to build weapons of mass destruction. Rountree tells her the drones aren’t weapons of mass destruction. Ng disagrees – they could be armed with a nuclear weapon. Rountree points out they aren’t but Ng thinks he’s being naïve. But she thinks it is Rountree’s job to cover up the military’s crimes against humanity. Explaining that it isn’t his job to cover up anything, Rountree is there to find the truth about who set the bomb at Havlock/Haines. Ng is annoyed – since she quit for not wanting to be “a warmonger”, she’s being treated as a suspect. She’s waiting for Rountree to beat a confession out of her.

Deeks arrives at the boat shed with Kensi right behind him. Rountree explains that he isn’t there to beat a confession out of Ng. Pointing to his wife, Deeks tells Ng that what Kensi is there to do as he walks into the restroom. Kensi tells Ng Deeks is just kidding. Rountree updates Kensi on his questioning and Ng lawyers up. Rountree tells her she doesn’t need a lawyer. After she warns them against railroading her, Rountree just cuts Ng loose.

Sighing that it is just “one of those days”, Rountree tells Kensi he’s gotten nothing from the former Havlock/Haines staffers. Kensi explains that they got some security footage and were going to Ops when “somebody needed a potty break.” Deeks returns from the restroom where they’re out of towels so he airdries his hands all over Kensi and Rountree. He explains that he would rather use their restroom than some public restroom. Rountree is more concerned that some of Deeks’s air-drying got into his mouth.

Contacting Ops, Kensi pulls out the thumb drive with the security camera footage and sends it to Shyla. Shyla has camera footage from other places as she tries to stitch together Estevez’s day. Kensi and Deeks are on their way to Ops to help Shyla. Deeks signals to Rountree that he probably shouldn’t use the restroom.

In the bullpen, Callen is reviewing some street camera footage with Fatima. With the coroner estimating Estevez’s time of death around 4PM, Callen sees white van for Bunny Vale Laundry and Dry Cleaning outside of his house at 11AM. The branded van is still there two-hours later. While it could be a long lunch or a day off, it is just as likely a stakeout. In Ops, Shyla has info on Bunny Vale Laundry, a chain in LA. Tracing the specific van, for the last few days, it was always near Estevez, either at his home or following him around.

Bunny Vale Laundry is owned by Darius “Bunny” Vale and his wife Sara. They are first-generation Persian-Americans, born in America. No links to Hezbollah but Fatima wonders if Vale is using his business as a front. There is a laundering money suggestion from Shyla – she really does fit right in. Callen and Fatima are going to speak to Vale.

In interrogation, Darius “Bunny” Vale is on the wrong side of the table. Callen shows him a photo of the laundry truck outside of Estevez’s home. Vale claims to have over a dozen vans like it. Callen tells Vale the van was used in a crime. Vale was worried something like that would happen – the van was stolen. Callen mentions there was no police report but Vale says the truck was gone for a while and then returned. He never knew it was missing until one of his employees found it. Since there was no damage to the van, he didn’t report it, figuring it was some teenage joyriders. The van was found near one of Vale’s locations by an employee who was with Vale for years. “Anything else?”

Pulling out his phone, Callen shows Vale Estevez’s dead body. Vale expresses his disgust in Farsi. Callen explains that Estevez was a father and a grandfather who was likely murdered in Vale’s van. When the forensic team goes through the “stolen” van, if they find any evidence Vale will be connected to Estevez’s murder and the attack on Havlock/Haines. Fatima asks how long as Vale supported Hezbollah. Vale is stunned – he’s never supported Hezbollah. Callen threatens a trip to Guantanamo Bay but Vale claims he had nothing to do with what happened.

When Callen says “last chance” to Vale, he explains he can’t help, “they’ll hurt my family.” Fatima offers protection but Vale is speaking about his family in Tehran. While NCIS has agents all over the world, they are not in Iran. Fatima tells him the threat is to his family in the US as well as Iran. If he helps them, they can stop threat.

Vale explains that two men demanded a van, was told if he didn’t cooperate his family in Iran would pay the price. He was told to not ask any questions and to not tell anyone. Vale gave them the van and then the van was returned. Vale doesn’t have much information – he didn’t know the men, he didn’t know where they were staying. In Farsi, Fatima tells Vale he needs to help them. He is in danger if he doesn’t cooperate. Vale mentions a friend named Ava who was threatened as well. She had to provide a place where the men could work. Callen wants Sam called in – this is a full team operation.

Joining Callen, Fatima and Rountree at an office park, Sam and the team are all wearing their kevlar with the big guns out. He thinks this assignment is easier than getting his father to behave. When Fatima asks how Raymond is doing, Sam replies he’s doing everything possible to make him crazy. The Admiral has had enough chit-chat – and Deeks isn’t even involved. Fatima and Rountree take one entrance, Sam and Callen take another. Shyla tells the team the building is owned by Ava Safari with only a 26% occupancy rate due to COVID. The terrorists are set-up on a vacant office floor. The Admiral considers them armed and they are dangerous since they have access to high end explosives. He warns them of booby traps. That doesn’t sit well with Deeks, who is dress as a fire marshal/inspector. “I’m not the bomb disposal guy.”

Deeks walks through one of the offices. It is empty though there is a cot and a lantern flashlight in an open area. He is approached by a man asking why Deeks is there. After saying he’s happy the place is rented again, Deeks claims to be LAFD there for the building’s monthly inspection. The man wants Deeks to leave and return the following day. Deeks explains he can’t do that. Deeks is walking ahead of the man, through the office. He is rambling about the inspecting the Nakatomi Plaza – nice “Die Hard” shoutout – and puts on soundproof headphones because he’s about to set off the building’s alarms. The man behind Deeks pulls out his gun. Kensi says “weapon” and takes out the man from an office building a healthy distance away. “Tango down.” Deeks seems surprised.

Callen and Sam join Deeks – “Nice shot honey,” Deeks calls to Kensi. He starts talking about having a BB right under his scalp from being shot by Darrel Dinkins. Sam mentioned the BB migrating to Deeks’s brain. An arriving Fatima and Rountree enjoy the show. Deeks tells Sam he missed him. “I bet you did.”

While Fatima sends the dead man’s prints to Ops, Callen has the dead man’s burner phone and wants to Shyla to check the contacts and any GPS info. Sam finds a Canadian passport for the dead man issued to Cyrus Karimain from Fort Erie, Ontario. It is likely a fake. Sam has four other passports for four other men. There may be an entire cell in Los Angeles.

Deeks find a trash pail full of shredded documents. One looks like a map but he could only figure it out if he was the Amazing Kreskin. Fatima doesn’t know who the Amazing Kreskin is. “That was before Google,” Sam tells her. Callen finds something and shows it to Sam. It is a symbol of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps’s staff college. The men in the office aren’t Hezbollah, they are Iranian special operatives who usually train proxies to fight, not do the fighting themselves. The Admiral knew this was state sponsored and is willing to bet his grandchildren that the drones that took out Soleimani was manufactured by Havlock/Haines. Shyla notes the Admiral doesn’t have grandchildren. “This team America, is payback.”

Tracing the location of the cellphone numbers in the dead man’s phone, they are all traveling on the PCH, just passing Malibu. While Deeks thinks they are surfers, Sam realizes they’re going to Point Magu. Point Magu is the home of the Triton drone project. The Admiral wants the team in helicopters on their way to the base in two minutes. When Shyla asks how, the Admiral doesn’t care – Coast Guard, National Guard, borrow a TV traffic helicopter.

At Point Magu’s entrance, a Bunny Vale Landry Van shoots its way past a guard station. The sole guard tries to fire on the men but is overwhelmed by four men with military weapons. Driving the van into the base, there are two barrel in the back with explosives. The men all exit the van before it plows into a trailer with a satellite on top. Since this is NCIS: Los Angeles, there is a massive explosion.

One of the men tries to enter a structure next to the structure that just was blown up. He has a keycard to get in but the door does not open. Callen comes out from the side of the structure and tells the man “nobody’s home.” The men are surrounded by Callen and Sam on the right, Kensi, Fatima and Rountree on their left and Deeks from the top of the structure. Behind the on the ground team is more armed Navy sailors. It was set-up as a kill box. Fatima starts ordering the men to surrender in Farsi. The men surrender. Deeks wonders how he is getting off the building – he asks Rountree to catch him.

Stepping away, Sam has a call from Mrs. Williams, his father’s caretaker. Raymond left the activity center without the caretaker. He instead left with a woman named Victoria. Callen is impressed – one day at the activity center and Raymond has a girlfriend. Callen thinks Sam could learn a little something from his father.

In the armory, Kensi, Deeks, Fatima and Rountree are dropping off their gear. Fatima thinks they should go out for drinks and Rountree should pay. This surprises Rountree until Fatima says she’s buying. Deeks offers to take everyone out to dinner if Rosa could join them. Kensi steps in – not on a school night. Deeks asks how is Rountree’s calculus. It is better than his algebra but it is not very good.

Pouring two glasses of scotch, the Admiral offers an arriving Callen a glass. Callen asks if he is going to need it. The Admiral thinks the longer Callen stays in their business, he will but he won’t need it today for Hetty “Not now anyway,” he tells Callen. The remains were of a female child, not Hetty. Callen asks why were Hetty’s IDs found on a dead child. The Admiral thinks Hetty planted them. Without the forensics the US military has, anyone who saw the remains and the ID thinks Hetty is dead. Thinking Hetty is in trouble – and the Admiral saying she was in the trouble the minute she went to Syria, Callen asks for permission to look for her. That’s a no from the Admiral. If they had actionable intel, they would go. Until then, Hetty is on her own.

Saying he has a lot of personal time, Callen is thinking of going anyway. The Admiral makes it clear LA just had foreign terrorists attack a building and a Naval Station so there will be no going halfway around the world “searching for your surrogate mommy.” Telling the Admiral to enjoy his scotch, Callen storms out. The Admiral drinks his own scotch and then Callen’s untouched glass, saying he intends to.

Not enjoying his scotch is Sam, sitting with a glass at his dining room table. Raymond sneaks in almost like a teenager caught by his parents. Sam asks where his father was. Raymond said he took Sam’s advice and made some friends. Sam thinks Raymond should have called. Raymond is sure he sent a text but he didn’t. This is every parent-child discussion about being out late with friends, just with the roles reversed. When Raymond says he’s not a child, Sam tells him he's acting like one. Yep, parent-child in reverse. Sam is angry that Raymond “hooked up with a woman on your first damn day. An angry Raymond talks about Victoria, who is married to Cliff, a bedridden veteran. After his time at the activity center, Raymond went to see Cliff, providing him such much needed company. Sam is instantly remorseful until Raymond makes it clear that he also provided Victoria some much needed company. Sam isn’t sure his father is joking as Raymond says good night.

They changed the fonts on the credits too.

What head canon can be formed from here: Sort of an update to the season 13 finale – Callen is looking at wedding venues, Sam is dealing with his father, Kensi and Deeks are taking Rosa to her first day of school. Family continues to play a big part.

Shyla is great with the team. She has a different relationship with Kilbride – more casual and fun than any of the team members.

Visiting the bombed out drone place had to be pretty brutal to Callen, who less than an hour earlier learned his “surrogate mommy” may have met her end in a similar action.

The Kensi and Deeks conversation about doing their jobs in the world we live in has been going on now since season eight. This was another variation of it with Kensi sounding a little more done this time.

The program used real events – the arrest of two Hezbollah terrorists, the bombing of Soleimani- to make the story go.

Episode number: Season 14 (a healthy run for any program), episode one. Episode 303 overall. These recaps will go up every Friday (save one in mid-March) until season 14 wraps.

[wystiix]

Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge

I'll bet you've never had a Friday night like this

Keep it up, keep it up, let's raise our hands

I take a look up at the sky and I see red

Red for the cancer, red for the wealthy

Red for the drink that's mixed with suicide, everything red

Please, won't you push me for the last time?

Let's scream until there's nothing left

So sick of playing, I don't want this anymore

The thought of you is no fucking fun

You want a martyr? I'll be one

Because enough's enough, we're done

You told me think about it, well I did

Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore

I'm tired of begging for the things that I want

I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

The thing I think I love will surely bring me pain

Intoxication, paranoia, and a lot of fame

Three cheers for throwing up, pubescent drama queen

You make me sick, I make it worse by drinking late

Scream until there's nothing left

So sick of playing, I don't want to anymore

The thought of you is no fucking fun

You want a martyr? I'll be one

Because enough's enough, we're done

You told me think about it, well I did

Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore

I'm tired of begging for the things that I want

I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

Imagine living like a king someday

A single night without a ghost in the walls

And if the bass shakes the earth underground

We'll start a new revolution now

Now

Hail Mary, forgive me

Blood for blood, hearts beating

Come at me

Now this is war

(Fuck with this new beat)

Now terror begins inside a bloodless vein

I was just a product of the street youth rage

Born in this world without a voice or say

Caught in the spokes with an abandoned brain

I know you well, but this ain't a game

Blow the smoke in diamond shape

Dying is a gift, so close your eyes and rest in peace

You told me think about it, well I did

Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore

I'm tired of begging for the things that I want

I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

Imagine living like a king someday

A single night without a ghost in the walls

We are the shadows screaming, take us now

We'd rather die than live to rust on the ground (shit)

WHAT THE HELL HELP ME

[positivelybeastly]

send REMINDED for a scene from my muse's past in which they encountered something that reminded them of a difficult experience / trauma

“I got a lotta variables on this mission already. If she’s a direct threat —“

Brand is agitated. Everything is playing out differently to how she wanted. Scott sympathises, a little - he knows what it’s like for the game plan to wriggle out of your grip like an eel. And Brand does have some kind of a game plan, even if it’s probably halfway wrecked and full of holes papered over with hail Mary passes by now. He wonders what it is.

“Agent Brand, Emma Frost is an X-Man.”

Hank is - stiff. He’s holding himself differently. Maybe it’s what he’s wearing - Scott knows Hank had to order a whole new wardrobe when he mutated, and he hasn’t exactly had a lot of chances to wear most of it. Maybe the sizes are wrong.

“And?”

There’s a tension there. Brand keeps badgering Hank, always answers back when he snips at her. If he weren’t the man he was, Scott would have put it down to the inevitable conflict between good hearted pacifist Hank and inhuman government fist in 5’8” form Brand, but he wouldn’t have gotten where he was now if he let surface level assumptions guide him. There was something else there.

“I’m unaware of the need for a conjunction.”

God, he loves Hank.

“You always talk like that?”

When he’s defending my girlfriend from you, yeah, he does. Hank likes Emma as much as Scott does, told him as much over Jean’s gravestone (and oh god was that just the most gnarled and messed up thought to think), and he - no, wait.

“Emma’s one of us. That means she’s —“

No, Hank doesn’t always talk like that. Something’s wrong. There’s something almost robotic in his manner, something closed. Something’s off. This is something he needs Emma for, really - a little telepathic skirting around the edges, just to see if this was something that was going to stop Hank being on his A game. But Emma is - 

“Not here. Cassandra Nova is not here. The mind is clouded . . . but it mends.”

Hank’s eyes flick to where Emma lays, unconscious, healing, and the yellow that Scott’s been seeing as orange this past year flares. Borderline imperceptible, but Scott’s spent his entire life reading what colours mean, working out what everything looks like past the red shift, and now that he can see the full spectrum, it only makes it easier to tell that there’s something wrong with Hank.

“Good. I need Queen Bee up and on her feet as soon as possible - Sydren, keep an eye on her. Reports every quarter of the hour.”

Brand turns and leaves, Sydren sighs and mutters sssssomething about not being some kind of babyssssitter for braindead mutants, and Scott moves forward to give Hank a sideways look. He doesn’t seem to notice, just staring at Emma.

“What’s up, Hank?”

It takes the big guy a few moments to respond, to unclench and turn his gaze sideways at his fearless leader. He forces a smile.

“Many inches of duratanium alloy plating, I would expect. Let’s find something to eat, shall we, Scottie?”

Oh boy. It’s never a good sign when Hank’s calling him Scottie. It usually means he’s drunk or about to have a nervous breakdown, and so far as he knows, there’s not a drop of alcohol on this cut-rate Enterprise. But he knows better than to push when Hank looks like he’ll push back, so he lets it lie for the moment and leads the way to what passes for a mess hall on the S.W.O.R.D ship.

It’ll come, in time.

*~*

“ - so, the entire X-Factor complex is just about ready, Bobby and I have spent a total of maybe eight hours just fastidiously assembling cots for young refugee mutants, we’re absolutely exhausted, just, on the verge of passing out where we sit, and we haven’t a clue what the time is. Scottie, what time was it?”

Scott shakes his head as he drinks what he’s sure is triple recycled urine but at least it tastes like water. “I think maybe six in the morning, six thirty?”

“Six, maybe six thirty in the morning! And in walks our fearless leader, in one of those absolutely hideous X-Terminator get-ups, powder blue all over with these hideous white and yellow lines, and he says, with his best drill sergeant face on, all right, team, time for morning exercises.”

Hisako snorted.

“Six. Thirty. In the morning. We just stare at him! And he gives this stiff little nod and walks back out, as if that’s all there is to it! So, naturally we decide that if we’re going to be little blobs of mutant jelly in silly get-ups, then we’re at least going to be amused.”

Scott’s eyes flicker over to see Logan stomping around at what passes for a kitchen on this ship, a steak - or, well, a lump of meat that passes for a steak - on a plate in one hand, and - huh. Well, guess he was wrong, there was beer on this thing after all. Score one for the Wolverine.

“So out Bobby and I march, in our ridiculous little costumes, and a boom box in our hands - “

Hisako arches an eyebrow. “Boom box?”

Hank and Scott answer at the exact same time, but with completely different answers.

“Ancient technology, arcane and beyond your knowing.”

“It’s a kind of music player, but with big speakers built into it.”

Hank chuckles and keeps on going with the story, leaning against the table beside the one Hisako and Scott are sitting at, his back to the kitchen. He doesn’t see Logan coming.

“Right, yes, so I have this obscure artefact in my hands, and Bobby pops a tape - that’s another piece of antiquated technology, covered in runes and spells and Mesopotamian script - into the magic music box, and we just stare at him as I bring it up over my head.”

Hank lets the moment sit for a moment, before he just starts singing and stomp-dancing around the table. “I wear my suuun-glasses at night, so I can, so I can, watch you weave then breathe your story liiiiines . . .”

Hisako laughs, and Scott even finds it within himself to smile a little bit, but he’s watching Hank very carefully. He usually gets this - this kind of manic jokey energy right before he’s about to pop. Used to be he was just like this, now he backslides into it whenever something’s hit deep.

Logan’s brusque about sitting down next to Hisako, and he brushes against Hank a bit - or, well. Bumps him a little. It spooks the blue furred mutant, who clearly had been so invested in telling his story that he hadn’t noticed, and he stops his little dance immediately. His eyes flick down, towards Logan’s leg, weirdly enough, and he mumbles.

“Sorry, Logan, didn’t see you there . . .”

Hisako mistakes what’s going on for another punchline. “Is that a joke about his height, Dr. McCoy?” Logan gives her a look, and she shuts up very quickly as the Wolverine pulls out a cigar - the fact that he’s got one of those on board means he must just keep one on him at all times, and there’s almost nothing more ridiculous, so much so that Scott has to finish his water or he might break out another smile. “This place got a non-smokin’ section?” Hisako shakes her head. Logan lights up. “Good.” All right, Scott’s smiling a little now. Damn.

Two in one day is too many for Scott Summers.

Where he expects Hank to make the joke, he instead hears a slight scrape of two glasses and footsteps. When his glass comes down, he sees Hank walking out of the mess hall with something in his hands. Hisako and Logan both look at him, but only Logan is - bizarrely - in tune enough with the team’s emotions enough to know part of what’s going on right now. “What’s eatin’ McCoy?”

Scott isn’t sure, and he looks at the table Hank was sitting against, trying to see what Hank grabbed.

The salt shaker is missing.

*~*

He finds Hank in the bathroom. Or, well, he finds a locked bathroom that the computer assures him Hank McCoy is currently inside.

“Hank?”

If Hank hears him, he doesn’t respond. Whatever space age material this S.W.O.R.D craft is made out of, it’s pretty damn thick, and he happens to be all out of optic blasts to blow the door open to make sure Hank’s okay, so he has to ask a passing S.W.O.R.D agent to use an emergency medical override to open the door.

First comes the sound. Rushing water. The brushing of teeth?

Then comes the smell, and Scott gags a little, even his iron stomach repulsed by what he’s picking up. It reeks, and he isn’t Logan, he can’t quite tell what it reeks of, but it doesn’t smell good, that’s for damned certain. A hand over his mouth, he moves into the bathroom, nice and slow, just in case he startles Hank.

A loud spit.

“Scottie.”

Hank’s removed the top half of the elaborate three piece suit he’d suddenly been wearing when Scott came to - probably to avoid getting toothpaste on any of the tailored clothing - and he’s bent over the sink, staring down into the bowl, just the top of his head visible in the mirror.

“I take it there’s a reason you saw fit to interrupt me when I could have been heeding nature’s call.”

There it is again. Hank’s always been the type to use a ten dollar word when a simpler one would do, as Sean used to say, but he’s not usually like this, this stuffy and stiff and formal, as if he were addressing a concierge. And even then, Hank’s usually really kind to service staff.

“I’ve been your friend for as long as I’ve had friends, Hank. I know when something’s off.”

Hank nods, steadfastly refusing to look up from the bowl of the sink.

“Yes, I suppose that’s true.”

He’s going for the toothpaste again, and Scott steps to the side a little to get a better view. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Hank was on his second tube by now - and judging by the fact that all the other sinks have pristine little tubes of the stuff neatly arranged on top, it probably isn’t because the first one was nearly empty.

“I, ahm.”

There’s a tremor in Hank’s voice now, and Scott instinctively moves forward, but the bigger man’s back kinks and tenses and he stops.

“There are . . . pieces, stuck in my teeth. I can’t get them out.”

Scott quirks his head. He doesn’t understand.

“There are pieces of Logan stuck in my teeth and I can’t get them out.”

Scott Summers suddenly becomes very aware of where the exit is. Four steps back and a turn to the right, and he’s out. But if Hank is still hungry, he doesn’t show it - he just squeezes some more of the toothpaste onto his brush and gets to work, fast. Suddenly, the salt shaker makes sense, and he looks to the right, seeing that the one stall that’s open is the source of the offensive smell he’d caught when he first came in. There’s stomach acid all over the seat, and he doesn’t want to look in the bowl. He knows what he’ll see.

“Makeshift ipecac. Clever.”

Hank spits out the toothpaste, washes his brush, still isn’t visible in the mirror.

“I thought so. Too much salt prompts a gagging and then eviction response, even for a hardy constitution like mine. What gave me away?”

Scott shrugs. It’s going to sound a little stupid now.

“I saw someone do it in a movie once. One of the Bond movies, I think, back when Sean used to marathon them every other day.”

Hank laughs, and Scott likes the slightly hysterical note in it even less than he liked the stiffness in Hank’s voice.

“Oh, very good. Casino Royale, the poisoned vodka martini. Very, very good. I should have been a tad more discrete, shouldn’t I?”

Scott moves towards him again, and the voice that comes out of Hank is barely human, guttural, the kind of noise that normal human lungs literally can’t replicate.

“Don’t. Touch me.”

“I’m not. I’m not going to touch you.”

He watches as Hank squeezes out the toothpaste again, starts brushing again. He doesn’t know what to do. When this had first happened to Hank, he hadn’t know what to do then, either - Jean had handled it, had been so good to their old friend, made him feel human and like nothing had changed even as she rolled with everything that had. Scott just . . . didn’t know what to do.

It’s only when he sees Hank spit out blood, lips dripping with the stuff because he just won’t stop brushing, that he breaks the silence.

“It wasn’t you. Nova - she’s the one who made you. Hank, I know you, I know you wouldn’t have done any of that if you had a choice - “

“I fought back the first time. I almost had her, in fact. She flagellated my mind, threw up on my soul, and called me a zoo animal, and yet I resisted, and I almost had her. And this time, I barely put up a fight. It was so easy for her to just strip it all away. All the pretensions, all the affectations, all the fineries that I use to mask the fact that I go to sleep thinking about what human flesh tastes like now.”

“Hank, it wasn’t you, it wasn’t your choice - “

The Beast whipped around with a violence that had Scott step back, his fingers moving up to press at a visor control that wasn’t there.

“I was weak, Scott. I’m meant, to have, control. What is weakness if not a choice?”

There’s a look in Hank’s eyes now that Scott’s never seen before, and on some level, he knows he should probably be scared, but Scott’s never been great at self preservation, so if he does feel scared, it’s buried. Instead, he just feels . . .

Useless. Helpless. Powerless.

Without control.

If there was a moment to help Hank feel better, to give him words to steel his resolve and make him feel human again, it passes, and he turns back to the sink, so very tightly wound and hurting.

“I’ll be out in five minutes and ready for the briefing, Cyclops. You can go now.”

Scott stays for a moment. It’s killing him, seeing his friend in so much pain and not knowing what to do. He’s maybe the single worst person who could be here right now, because he can inspire people to save the world, he can convince galactic empires to agree to a ceasefire, he can outplay any man, mutant or god, but when it comes to words, when it comes to moments like this, when it comes to Hank McCoy’s self-loathing, he’s all out of options.

“. . . I’ll see you in the briefing room, Hank.”

*~*

As good as his word, Hank is out, dressed, and as three piece suited as he was before he went into the bathroom

Scott finds it a little hard to look at him, though Hank seems to be happy to act like it never happened.

Unbidden, he wonders what Hank is going to go to sleep thinking about now that he knows what human flesh tastes like, and he grimaces.

Talking about the Breakworld trying to kill the Earth almost feels like casual conversation now. 

[piouscatholic]

[October 21 - Our Lady of Europe]

The Annunciation is the first and most beautiful Mass in history.

On this Saturday,

the day of the joyful mysteries of the Rosary,

we meditate on the first joyful mystery, the Annunciation by the angel Gabriel,

and unite ourselves to Mary's obedience to God's Word and her inner readiness to respond to his will.

The greeting of the angel Gabriel troubles Mary.

This upset is only caused by her humility at hearing such praise,

so contrary to her own opinion of herself.

Mary listens religiously to the Word before consenting to it with all her being.

She questions the angel to better understand how the Word will be fulfilled in her.

Mary's response,

"I am the handmaid of the Lord",

is her fiat, the"Amen", with which she embraces the divine will.

Immediately after Mary's fiat, the Word takes flesh in her.

The Annunciation is the first and most beautiful Mass in history.

At Mass,

just after we have said our own Amen, the priest presents us with the host, and Jesus descends into our hearts to become incarnate in us.

With God's grace,

Mary cooperated with God wholeheartedly, at every moment of her life,

even when she didn't understand the hows and whys of what God was doing in her life.

Each Hail Mary expresses and increases in us our desire to say "yes" to God in everything he desires us to be and do.

"Happy are those who do his will, seeking him with all their heart"

(Ps 118).

Mary's "yes" opened the door of salvation for all, and brought the Savior into the world; likewise,

our "yes" unites us to Jesus, allowing him to offer his life anew for us.

Jesus awaits us with great longing.

"I have called you by name, for you are precious in my sight;

you mean much to me, and I love you"

(Is 43).

Thank you, Mary, for giving your fiat to the angel Gabriel, thereby becoming the Mother of God.

Thank you also, Mary,

for silently giving your fiat to Jesus Crucified,

who said to you,

"Woman, behold your son",

thereby asking you to become the mother not only of John, his beloved disciple,

but also,

through him, the Mother of all his disciples.

Allow us to take you into our home as our Mother and Queen,

so you may extend your divine maternity over us - over our whole life - teaching us to become ever more true brothers and sisters of Jesus,

for the joy of our Heavenly Father.

Amen.

{Meditation on the first joyful mystery

By the Missionaries of the Holy Eucharist}

Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

© Marie de Nazareth 2023

Association Marie de Nazareth 75 rue de Lourmel 75015 Paris – France