#hahaahhaha clown

[mossiparks]

i was so obsessed with this clown in middle school

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

Don't Hug Me Neighbor

[Episode 1]

《You and your friends find yourselves in a new Home.》

《Warnings: the subject matter this ARG has are potentially disturbing. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Welcome Home was created by Clown @ partycoffin. DHMIS also obtains potentially disturbing content, be mindful.》

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The four of ya'll walk outside gazing at the upcoming houses and buildings in the distance. "Why, why are those houses so far from our own?" Yellow asked, pulling on your hand. You shrug, "can't say I know."

"Maybe it's because we're better than them," Duck replied with a prideful look. "Or maybe it's because we aren't..." Red mutters, his enthusiasm becoming less with each step the group took.

In the center of the colorful neighborhood stood a brilliant red house, with a couple of other houses and buildings surrounding it like a circle.

"Wow, it's so.." Duck interrupted Red quickly.

"Dull. Very dull."

"What? No. It's not dull."

"I like it." Yellow expresses. "Yeah, he likes it. Why can't you?"

"Because that house has two giant eyes that are staring at me."

Your group turns to look at the red house, it blinks right back at you.

"Erm.." You pull Yellow closer to you as the red home sets its eyes, or curtains, on you.

"Oh c'mon now, didn't that stupid notepad come to life before? How is this any different?" Red Guy stares at Duck for a few seconds before nodding. "Yeah, he's right."

The four of you ignore the living house and head in another direction. Going inside a little shop with so many items you could even buy a shed there.

"Howdy new neighbors! The names Howdy! Howdy Pillar, welcome to the neighborhood!"

A caterpillar-like puppet greets the four of you from behind a counter and cash register. He holds out all four limbs for a handshake. Causing Duck to jump back into Red as Yellow stared in awe at the many appendages.

"Yes, hello, we'd like to buy some of your goods. May we take them?" Duck explains, and you huff out a laugh, Howdy too, was chuckling.

"No can do neighbor, you gotta tell me a joke and I'll give you your groceries. Simple as that."

"What? Is that the currency of this place?" Red Guy mumbles as Duck stews in thought.

"Funny joke? Uhm, you kinda look like that, w-worm, no, he was an eagle guy. He went inside my head and gave me a worm in br-rain." Yellow announced curiously, causing Howdy to become quiet at the boys' words...

Your lips becoming a thin line as you recall the incident.

"That stupid worm thought he was a eagle, ha!" Duck mocked. Unaware of Howdy's thoughtful expression.

Before he too, was howling in laughter.

"A worm that thinks he's a bird?! Hahaahhaha!!" The store owner laughed loudly, trying to catch his breath as one of his arms slammed on the counter-top.

"Never heard that one! Interesting delivery there, bud'!" Howdy ruffles Yellows messy blue hair kindly, "So? What can I get ya'll?"

You step in, a simple smile on your face. "Coffee-"

"Now hold on," Duck interrupted, looking up at you. "I have my own specific items I need, I don't want them to be lumped with yours."

"Okay? But what I am getting is for everyone."

"Right, but I'm not everyone. I'm me, and I need things for me." Duck reiterates before pulling out a list and handing it to you. "You... You want more paper? Why?"

"For my shredder! Keep up!"

"Okay.. Can we have some paper-"

"Oh! And Chuddle Dollops, please?" Yellow asked, gazing up at you with puppy eyes. You nodded before look at Red expectantly. "Uhm, I'm good."

"Okay then, so..." Howdy lowers down beyond the counter, placing the items you needed. "Coffee, paper and.. Chuddle Dollops? Hm, never heard of that brand before, I didn't even know that was in stock! Oh well."

Handing over the bags, you thank Howdy as Yellow shyly thanked him too. "Thanks mate'," Red said, holding one of the bags for you, Duck nodded to the bodega owner before all four you left.

"Hm, strange neighbor's.. But they seem nice." Howdy comments to himself before wiping down the counter.

"I agree, they all are quite oddities."

"Oh! Didn't see ya' there Wally. The usual right?"

-

[Taglist Closed Unless stated otherwise..]

@sugarrush-blush @welcomehome102 @meowingatthemoonhastomanyanimals @r4slebol @elvenqueen12 @sparklyphantom @yourlocalleftairpod @osleeper @egg1sblog @dilfsmakemeleak @serpent-radio @midnight110 @mcbeeftarts @starkidblogs

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[Hiya! I'm back! Thank you guys so much for such positive comments! Readings ya'lls reactions are the best and make it easier for me. Thanks! Art is always appreciated!]

[courtinggrievances]

courtinggrievances began trolling trueheartedcenobite at 2:51 --  HEY. ARE YOU THERE.

trueheartedcenobite BeSt FrIeNd :oD

trueheartedcenobite WeRe I aLl To Be KnOwInG wHeRe AlL i WeRe To Be DeStInEd I'D cAlL tHiS wHeRe A pRoPeR pLaCe FoR tAlKiNg At YoU

courtinggrievances YEAH, WELL. I'M SITTING HERE WITH MY HEAD NEXT TO THE LOAD GAPER WITH A MONSTER HEADACHE AND SO MANY FUCKING COLORS IN MY PAN. YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW... YOU KNOW. ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. I SEE SO MANY COLORS, GAMZEE. SO MANY FUCKING COLORS.

courtinggrievances BLOOD ON THE WALLS, SKULLS PLACED IN SACRED LOOKING PLACES. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD POSSIBLY TELL ME IF IT'S VOODOOS OR NOT. SINCE, YOU KNOW. TALKING TO ANY OTHER HIGHBLOOD IS LIKELY TO KILL ME.

trueheartedcenobite UhHhHh I CoUlD?

courtinggrievances DOES IT SOUND LIKE VOODOOS TO YOU, IS WHAT I'M ASKING. LIKE... I HAVE THESE FUCKING TERRIBLE TERRORS, GAMZEE. IT WAS LIKE... A CROWD OF PEOPLE, ALL CROWDED AROUND, WATCHING THIS LITTLE PURPLEBLOOD FIGHT THIS BIGGER PURPLEBLOOD. THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE WHEN THEY WERE DONE WITH EACH OTHER, AND I... GAMZEE, I SWEAR I SAW YOU REFLECTED IN THE PUDDLES ON THE GROUND.

trueheartedcenobite IiIiIiIiI AiN'T No soRt oF PosSiTiVe wHaT ThE AnCeStRaL EnErGiEs GoT LoOkInG As, bRoThEr I GeT FeElInGs sOmEtImEs As wHeN LiKe I DoN'T GeT DoInG SoMeThInG DoWn tO DiReCtIoN'S SpEcIfIcItY AnD A SiBlInG WeRe gIvInG Me wOrDs oN NoT FoRgEtTiNg BuT YoU GeTtInG ViSiOnS? :o0 ThAt bE SoMe tRaNsCeNdEnT ShIt, BeSt fRiEnD

courtinggrievances I'M FEVERISH, HEADACHEY, AND NAUSEATED, GAMZEE. I DON'T WANT TO BULLSHIT AROUND WITH MIRACLES AND TRANSCENDANCE RIGHT NOW, OKAY? I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE THIS COULD BE SOMEONE TRYING TO CHUCKLEVOODOO MY SHIT. I DON'T HAVE THE COGNITIVE MOTHERFUCKING ABILITY TO PARSE YOUR PROPHETIC TEXT, EITHER, OKAY. MY HEAD IS LITERALLY!! IN A LOAD GAPER!!

trueheartedcenobite UhHh, OkAy aLrIgHt like i don't got to be speaking so much the whimsical way is that better?

trueheartedcenobite but, man this feels so motherfucking unnatural and shit

courtinggrievances I MEANT WITH THE MIRACLES AND- YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVERMIND, THIS IS FINE. SURE, BETTER. IS IT, THOUGH. POSSIBLE. I DON'T KNOW, GZ. THIS HEADACHE IS LITERALLY KILLING ME.

trueheartedcenobite voodoos ain't in a realm of literal as far as what i got knowing, brother. not unless a motherfucker were trying for handing at you a real ill hand of misfortune but that's some legendary word only doctrine and stories do tell upon and i can't be telling you so much of that, naw. :o(

courtinggrievances WELL, WHAT ABOUT CURSES? OR MAGIC. I'M TELLING YOU, THIS STUFF I'M SEEING, IT'S. I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.

trueheartedcenobite i believe you, best friend, for sure. i just haven't received the touch of my holy minstrels to be gifted the power of peacemakers. but a clown can listen more were speaking of the sights that got seen gives a righteous ease towards your nerves.

courtinggrievances YOU WANT SIGHTS THAT GOT SEEN, HUH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO... DESCRIBE IT. THE MOST RECENT... I GUESS, WAS THE FIGHT? SOME LITTLE FEMALE, PRETTY HIGH UP ON THE PURPLE SCALE, FIGHTING THIS BIG DUDE THAT EVERYONE SEEMED TO BE LOOKING AT. AND WHEN I SAY EVERYONE, I MEAN EVERYONE. THERE WERE SO MANY FACES AND COLORS THERE, TROLLS OF ALL PAINTS BUT NOT OF ALL COLORS. THERE WAS A BIG... SPACE, I GUESS, AND EVERYTHING WAS WHITE. LIKE EITHER THE WALLS WERE WHITE OR THEY JUST WEREN'T THERE.

courtinggrievances BUT THERE WAS COLOR FURTHER UP, RAINING BLOOD DOWN ON THE FIGHT, IT SEEMED, IN GREAT BIG...

courtinggrievances RK. HJOLD ON

courtinggrievances GOD. EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT IT I GET THIS... UNEASE, RIGHT IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH.

trueheartedcenobite :o(

courtinggrievances I DON';T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU. THERE WERE CANDLES AND MIRRORS. SOMETIMES I SEE THE SPIRES OF SOME TALL BUILDING. OR SOME TROLL. OR I JUST FEEL BAD. OR A SKULL IN AN ALCOVE, OR STAINED GLASS PAINTED INTO BLOOD, OR UGHGHGHGHGHHHG. ITS VISIONS I DON'T WANT. BUT... I GUESS YOU CAN'T HELP ME. I'M PROBABLY JUST HALLUCINATING AND I'M LITERALLY FUCKING DYING, LMFAO.

courtinggrievances WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE PEACHY. OKAY, WELL. I'M GOING TO STOP RAMBLING HERE AND LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE TO.... WHATEVER THE HECK YOU DO AT 4:30 AT NIGHT. FEELS ABOUT DINNER TO ME BUT... NOT RIGHT NOW, UGH.

trueheartedcenobite such things, brother, you ain't supposed to see nothing of. those sights are for no other but indigo eyes.  holiest relics of past priests, of greater subjugs and spiritual guides.

courtinggrievances WHAT? WELL OF ***COURSE*** I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT SHIT. WHYT THE FUCK!! DO YOU THINK I'M COMPLAINING ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

trueheartedcenobite sorry, brother. :o(

courtinggrievances FOR WHAT.

trueheartedcenobite experiencing, i motherfucking guess.  grief what shouldn't be upon you.

courtinggrievances THAT ISN'T REALLY YOUR PROBLEM, GZ. I MEAN SURE, FUCK, I'LL COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, BUT I JUST NEEDED TO ASK THE ONLY RELIGIOUS TROLL I KNEW AND COULD TRUST ABOUT IT, SINCE CATHEDRALS IN MY TERRORS ARE A THING. I'LL JUST CHALK IT UP TO NOT SLEEPING IN SOPOR FOR A WHILE I GUESS.. HAHAHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOME INDIGO SUBJUGS TRYING TO CAPTURE ME OR WEAR ME DOWN. HAHAAHHAHA. HOW FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE IS THAT. GOD. ... UGH. NIGHT GZ.

trueheartedcenobite prayers at you the sopored sleeping will sooth what be disagreeing with you.

courtinggrievances ... HMM. YEAH.

Courtinggrievances ceased trolling Trueheartedcenobite --