#haha what if i told you i physically teared up multiple times | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

roger-that-cap · 4 years ago

Text

cardigan

natasha romanoff x f!reader

word count: 8.9k (haha)

warnings: swearing, cheating!natasha, sad!reader, uhm this is angsty for me, asshole!natasha, sort of asshole!team, more angst, sort of happy ending sort of, secrets™️

this is inspired by taylor swift’s cardigan. folklore and evermore are really getting me through this i swear

obviously i do not own this song, picture, or any of the warped lyrics that i attempted to slide in as creatively possible :) this is also my first one shot and my first reader insert ever- i tried to not go into any physical details about miss y/n but i hope y’all like it!

No editor. All mistakes are 100% mine!

You couldn’t have been any more excited to see Natasha. She had been gone for what felt like forever on a mission with Steve, Bucky, and some agent that was on her first big mission, a girl that you recalled to be named Abigail. Regardless of what her name was, they were all heading home today after so long, nearly two months.

There was no telling how much you were ready for the return of your fiancée. The two of you had promised to get married nine months ago, and you were already deep into planning. You were going to your dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s (your literal childhood wish) in two days. You had the venue picked, the table accessories done, the seating chart already filled out and sitting pretty in laminated sheets in a binder. The day was going to be perfect, and it was what you and Natasha deserved after so long. Especially Natasha, after every single thing that she had been through just to save the world and to help those who weren’t able to help themselves.

Natasha was your angel.

Your heart was racing in your chest as you waited for the quinjet to land, the ring feeling light on your left finger as you rolled back and forth on your feet. You couldn’t hold back a toothy grin as you waited for them to fly back in, and to hug Natasha again. That was the most important part. To have her back in your arms so that you could do things like stay in together for the weekend and stay holed up in their room just doing innocent things, like counting each other’s heartbeats.

You stood with your hands clasped in front of your body as they landed, a dopey grin on your face and the same nervous glint in your eye that was there every time that you waited for your fiancée to come back home. You knew that Natasha would always find her way back to you, but there was no telling what condition she would be in.

The moment the doors opened, Abigail ran through them, and down the ramps nearly knocking you over. You reached your arms out to steady the other girl, who looked like she was about to burst into tears at any second. As much as you wanted to just hug Natasha and go home after you ate and sleep in bed with her, you couldn’t leave a girl in tears like that without checking on her. “Woah, are you okay, sweetie?”

The girl’s bottom lip jutted out, like she was about to cry just because of you asking the question. She didn’t say anything, but she was obviously falling apart from the inside, and it made you more than mildly concerned. You didn’t like to see anyone cry, let alone a girl who had just come back from her first big mission. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked.

“Are you sure?” You were no medic or super soldier or even assassin-spy, but you were nothing if not rational and sympathetic. You were so in tune to the poor girl that you didn’t feel the palpable awkwardness of everyone else who walked off of the quinjet, almost all of them cringing. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“I- I’m sorry,” Abigail said, and she was running away from you faster than you had ever seen anyone run before.

You frowned as you watched her run. “I hope she’s alright, poor thing. I can’t imagine how a first mission feels,” you murmured, turning around and seeing the slightly spooked eyes of the rest of the team. You smiled at them cautiously and walked over to Natasha, arms already raised as you went to embrace her tightly. You breathed in and put your face in her neck, nearly crying tears of joy as you smelled her shampoo, a rich scent that meant the safety and comfort of them both. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

You were so happy to hold your fiancée again that you almost didn’t notice how standoffish she was being, and her lack of enthusiasm. She had never been not enthusiastic to see you, especially after going so long without seeing each other. After too long of her not reacting to your warm embrace by kissing your hair or murmuring her usual missed you, princessa, you pulled away and looked at her, a questioning look on your face. “Are you okay, my love?”

Natasha stepped back, not looking you in the eyes and choosing to just smooth out the sleeves of her combat attire, eyes on the floor. That was very unlike her. Something must have gone terribly wrong. “I just want to get home.”

Your vibe visibly deteriorated. It was obvious that Natasha had just popped your bubble and left it as an empty shell, but you were still smiling anyway. Like you always did. “Okay, Nat. We can do that.” You reached out for Natasha’s hand and grabbed it after waving goodbye to the other team members, who all looked either extremely displeased or like they had been caught doing something very awkward.

You walked back to your part of the tower together in silence that wasn’t characteristic of the two of you. You were a known chatterbox, happy and always starting meaningful conversations, but also one of the best listeners to ever grace the earth. Natasha liked to listen, too, and she had the best words and the best voice to listen to. One of them was always talking. The silence between them was almost haunting.

Natasha went straight into the shower. She didn’t offer for you to go in with her, which was what the two of you always did after a mission. You got to see Natasha at her most vulnerable, and Natasha was finally allowed to let down the shroud of strength that only lasted for so long without being damaging. It was the thing that kept you close and often the action that got Natasha to open up about what happened and how she truly felt. Natasha skipping out on that time hurt you and made you expect the worst.

She turned the lights off the minute that she was out of the shower, not speaking to you or even offering any physical assurance, which was something that Natasha knew that you needed after she came home.

You just prayed that she would be ready to talk in the morning.

§§§

Natasha wasn’t there when you woke up. You frowned and patted the empty spot in the bed beside you even though you knew that she was probably at the gym or running around doing errands. You sighed and crawled out of bed, doing the daily routine that you usually did with Natasha, and leaving the room to go make some breakfast.

There were whispers that hissed like snakes when you came around the corner, and they came to a screeching halt when you bounced into the room. You grinned at everyone sitting or standing in the kitchen, ignoring their deer-in-headlights looks and searching for the woman you were set to get married to. You frowned a bit when there was no sign of her.

“Good morning!” You hummed out anyways, going towards the pantry once you saw that no one had made food yet. Because you were staying there and you had no other skills, you had been the one to take up personal chef for the entire team just to pull some weight, even though they insisted that you didn’t need to do a thing. As long as you “kept Nat happy”, they said.

It took a second for any of them to respond. “Good morning,” Steve said, his voice oddly clinical for the way he usual greeted you. He was the morning person of the bunch, and probably your closest friend other than Wanda.

You took the supplies out of the pantry with a thoughtful look on your face. “I’m not trying to pry,” you started softly, back still towards them as you started with the pancake mix. “But, was the mission bad?” No one spoke for a few heavy moments.

“We succeeded,” Bucky finally stated vaguely, his voice floating through the room.

You never the type to spill all of your personal business to people, but these people weren’t just anyone. These were your closest friends, the people who were going to be in the wedding, either in one bridal party or the other’s. “Nat’s not talking to me,” you sighed out, and turned around to see all of them stiff as boards. “Was it hard for her?”

No one said anything.

You pursed your lips and turned your back to them again, looking away from them to gathered your thoughts for a second. You took in a deep breath and told yourself not to pry, not to think about what Natasha would surely tell you when she was ready. You turned your head and gave them your trademark grin. “Who wants blueberries in their pancakes?”

§§§

You sat in your shared room after a full day of Natasha blatantly ignoring and avoiding you. You were patient, because that was what you had to be to date an Avenger, but Natasha had never straight up ignored you before. You learned very quickly that it called for a different type of patience than the one you were used to.

In the kitchen when she was forced to be present after you cooked a huge welcome home meal, she didn’t hug on you or kiss your cheek or even look you in the eyes. It wasn’t like her. You came to the tough conclusion that it wasn’t because of the mission, because she had never done that before, not even after the one where the children were caught in the crossfire. You were always the one that she talked to, no matter what.

The lamp light was the only light on in the room, because you knew that Natasha liked it better that way. Maybe less light would make her open up a bit, and the two of you would finally see eye to eye after the annoying stalemate that felt eternal.

You didn’t know how long Natasha would take come back and speak, but you knew that it wouldn’t be too long. Natasha liked to talk, and she had said multiple times that she liked to talk to you the most. It would be any time, right? That’s what you thought until the hours crept by, and you saw and heard no sign of anything. Not even the ding of an elevator or the shutting of a door, or her soft footsteps that she made on purpose because her natural steps were so quiet that she scared you when she appeared.

When Natasha finally came in, it was late in the night, morning time. Three in the morning, to be exact. You shook off your nerves and smiled at her, and the smile wasn’t returned as much as it should have been. “Hi,” you said, almost a little star struck by finally seeing her. It brought you back to the time you didn’t truly know her.

You had always admired Natasha. Not even because of her being Black Widow, but because she was Natasha Romanoff, an enemy spy and assassin turned good. And it brought you pure joy knowing that you would soon be taking on her last name, which you secretly thought of as your greatest achievement. Natasha was the one you wanted with for life, and you were steps closer.

You waited to hear Natasha’s voice. You waited in anticipation for her to run to you and start to spill immediately. You were waiting to wipe her tears and assure her that it wasn’t her fault, and that she couldn’t have done anything differently. “Hi.”

You frowned. Confusion flooded your senses at the short greeting. “Huh?”

“Why are you up?” Her tone sounded almost accusatory, like she had caught you doing something that you weren’t supposed to do, like you were intruding on her time. The frown on your face turned into a slight scowl, and then you reminded yourself that patience was key with Natasha.

“I’m allowed to wait up for my future wife,” you teased, but the look in your eye was serious. You could see how the red head lingered at the doorway, like she was trying to decide whether to bolt or leave with grace. You weren’t going to give her enough time to make the decision. Come sit, please.” When Natasha didn’t move an inch, your facial expression fell. “Please.”

Natasha walked over to the bed slowly, like she was being forced to move or die. You shook your head side to side, eyeing her up and down like the answer to the problem that you didn’t know yet was written on her body somewhere. “I’m here,” she said quietly, like a distant whisper.

“Are you really?” You asked quietly, and it felt like your voice echoed like the beating of drums in the nearly silent room. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing happened.”

You knew that you shouldn’t pry. You both hated prying, but you were also both naturally transparent. You two had never truly had to pry with each other before. The truth was, you didn’t know how far you could push until she snapped on you. “Are you sure?”

Like someone had flipped a switch, a small smile lit up on Natasha’s face. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to sate you for a while. “Yes, princessa. I’m very sure. I’m tired.”

That was all it took. All it took was Natasha muttering the sweet nickname to you, and it was all as good as talked about. You could rest for a moment.

“Then we can go to bed, my love.” You reached out to touch Natasha’s face, loving the familiar feeling of her soft skin. “You know, you don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything, Nattie.”

You stared at Natasha for a while, just admiring her face and everything about it, almost missing the way that she didn’t do it back. This was something that you two did nearly every night before going to sleep- you just watched each other. A slow, dopey grin slid onto your face, and then you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, then her cheek, and then to her pink lips in a soft yet passionate kiss, as soft as rose petals.

You pulled away and smiled at her with your eyes closed, nuzzling your face into her neck. You took in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet smell and feeling the comfort was over you like waves in the ocean. You could have told her a thousand things in that instant, but they all revolves around one master idea. “I love you so much, Natasha.”

You brushed a red strand of hair out of her face before reaching up to kiss her forehead, and then you were back in her neck, trying to sleep.

There was no response, just Natasha’s arm’s getting tighter around you and squeezing three times, each harder and shakier than the last. That was all it took for you to fall asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you recalled having a dream that featured a woman crying, the sound distant yet close.

§§§

You had a feeling that Natasha was going to do the exact same thing that she did the first time, and you assumed correctly. You took it in stride this time and went to the flower store to pick out your bouquet that you would walk with, and probably throw. It was something that you wanted to do on your own, anyway. Like most brides, you didn’t want your future spouse seeing anything that you were going to be wearing until the big day. Not even the veil or the flowers that you would be carrying.

“That’s gorgeous!” You grinned at the employee, who mirrored your excited look. “That’s perfect, she’ll love it.”

While you gushed about your flowers, you also wondered if Natasha was doing a bouquet, too. You hoped that she had someone that would help her out with it, maybe Sharon or Wanda. Natasha wasn’t really big on the planning of the wedding. In fact, she wanted it much smaller than it was going to be, but you had convinced her to do it your way. Maybe it was your natural charm that helped you swindle the spy, or perhaps it was because she just secretely wanted the same thing.

As you walked away from the flower shop after placing the order, you walked by the busy donut shop that Natasha loved going to. Usually, it would be Natasha that stopped by and brought you some donuts, but maybe the other way around would be enough to make the red headed woman smile a bit. You stopped for a second and then didn’t hesitate to go in, pulling out a couple dollars for a tip, too.

Natasha loved chocolate donuts, even though she tried to resist eating them. You liked glazed better, but it was alright. You’d buy chocolate for her. You had hope that they would get Natasha to open up just a little, as dumb as it sounded. But a bribe never went wrong, and what was the harm in donuts?

“Thank you, Sarah,” you said after you got the box of donuts, walking out of the sweet smelling shop and down the street towards the tower.

When you got back, it was loud. It usually was pretty loud, with everyone and everything going on, but this was a different type of loud. It wasn’t the tinkering of metal in the lab or the sounds of sparring or elevators going up and down. It was shouting. A full on shouting match that was loud enough to be heard from floors down was happening. You nearly dropped the box of donuts as you hurriedly pressed the level that you and Natasha stayed on, hoping to find her in the room and out of the fight. The ride up the elevator was almost too full of anticipation as you waited in what would have been silence, if not for the yelling.

“No, because you can’t control yourself!” The voice was now obviously Steve’s. You were shocked. You had never heard Steve so riled up, ever. It was out of character for him to be so angry at someone, even if that particular someone fucked up royally. “You did something stupid, and now you’ll own up to it. Simple.”

“I fucking can’t!” You frowned. That was without a doubt Natasha. “I can’t, not right now. So fuck off.”

“I can’t fuck off after you’ve done something like this, Romanoff.” You winced as the elevator doors opened. Steve didn’t use Natasha’s last name anymore, not since they got close. And he certainly didn’t use the f-bomb much. “This is… it’s beyond-”

“What happened?” You shoved the donuts into Sam’s waiting hands, which were open for business when he saw you coming out of the elevator. “What’s all the yelling for?”

Everyone was staring at you like you were a ghost that wasn’t supposed to show up even though they had called on you. No one had an immediate answer, and so you put your hands on your hips. “Is everything okay?”

Tony looked at Natasha with sharp eyes and took a step back, raising his palms. “On you.”

It took a second for Natasha to say anything to you, and it was clear that everyone was waiting for something. It was even more clear that everyone was equally pissed at Natasha, for whatever reason.

“Everything is just fine, princessa.” Natasha’s voice carried over to your ears, smooth as honey, even though she wasn’t looking up into your eyes. “Don’t worry.”

You didn’t really believe it. How could you? She wasn’t talking to you, she wasn’t lying with you, she wasn’t counting your heartbeats like you did with her. There was something wrong, something had to be for Steve to be yelling like that, in front of everyone else. You eyed Natasha for a few extra seconds and then took the donuts back, muttering a thanks to Sam.

“Alright.” As if seeing the box made you remember why you went out in the first place, your trademark grin was back. “I ordered my bouquet today,” you hummed, walking up to Natasha and planting a kiss on her lips. When you pulled away, you murmured the customary I love you under your breath, like you two did every time you kissed. The one who initiated the kiss would say it first, and it would be answered by a quick “always”.

“A-always. Oh?” You realized that Natasha’s voice fluttered when she said it.

“Yeah, you can’t see which one, though.” You winked at her playfully, trying to ignore the way that the others looked mildly uncomfortable. You were used to uncomfortable looks, but never from them. You knew that it wasn’t homophobia, because they were never that way. So their behavior ran deeper than that. What the fuck happened? “My dress appointment is tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

You were too busy getting a donut from the box to see the looks that everyone else shared when you spoke again. “How’s the girl who went on the mission with you? She seemed a little upset when you guys came back.”

Natasha’s hair nearly bounced with how high she shot up, her body going straight at the mention of the other girl. She looked away from your eyes for a split second, and then back. “Fine.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, eyes on Natasha. “Is she good with fashion? Maybe seeing dresses and all that would make her feel a little better.”

Natasha looked horrified as she realized what you were insinuating. “No. No, she’s fine. She doesn’t need to be invited anywhere.”

“It’s just to sit and watch me try on dresses. Wanda, Sharon, and Pepper are going, right?” You looked towards Tony to confirm, and he nodded his head firmly before looking at Natasha again, a serious look in his eyes. “Maybe Abigail can go.”

“No. She’s not going.” There was something in Natasha’s tone that sounded so final, so adamant, that you knew in your heart to just drop it. It saved you both in that moment.

That didn’t mean that you weren’t allowed to make a face of disapproval. “That’s not nice at all, Nattie. I hope you weren’t the reason she was crying. You’re known to be a little mean.”

Natasha looked away from you, taking a step back. Her eyebrow was twitching, a sign of stress that you picked up on like it was your own. “I have to go.”

“Wait, I got these for-” Natasha left in a hurry, so fast that you barely even registered that she had left. She left awkwardness in her absence. “Well, she can eat them later. Feel free to have some, guys, just save one or two for her, okay?”

They were all quiet for a few seconds, like they were in the midst of a special moment where they were all feeling the same thing, everyone in the room except for you. Finally, Wanda spoke. “Okay, Y/N.” You smiled at them, gave them all sweet hugs, and left.

§§§

You were bursting at the seams at being seen for a dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s. Wanda was with you, and so were Sharon and Pepper. They were excited for you, but no one matched your energy.

You were a girl finally getting what she had been dreaming of her whole life; to get married in a beautiful dress to the person she loved. You would soon be walking down the isle to see Natasha waiting for you, flanked by everyone else that was ever important to them.

You must have been the luckiest woman in the world.

“You’re really excited,” Sharon mused, but it was more of an observation than a statement.

“I’m so excited,” you confirmed. “I’m marrying the love of my life in what’s going to be my dream dress, I know it.” You grinned as the four of you watched people bustling around the shop. There was a bride near tears, just like on the TV episodes, and you watched fondly. Seeing people get what they wanted made you happy.

The search for the perfect dress went nothing less than perfectly. Within the first two sweeps, you managed to get into a dress that everyone thought was perfect for you, and you loved it, too. It even brought the three out of the haze that they were in, out of focus and minds so far gone that your excited squeals were all that broke them out of their thoughts.

“It’s gorgeous, Y/N.” Pepper said, her voice soft and cautious as they walked up to pay. It was silent as you waited for an attendant to come to the counter and check you out.

“I- I think there’s something you should know.” The other girls’ head whipped Pepper’s way, and she gave them a look that told them that she wasn’t going to back down from whatever she had to say.

You had what felt like a permanent grin on your face as you thought about the dress. It was a dramatic ball gown, blush pink and flowy. You were almost as in love with it as you were with Natasha, and the matching heels that you got and the gorgeous veil that matched topped it all off. You and your soon to be bridal party walked out into the crisp air, and you turned your head towards Pepper. “Sure, what is it?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Let’s go sit in the car,” Pepper insisted, and so they walked back to the car that Happy was driving for them, where he was sitting with the partition rolled down. He gave them a half assed greeting before they all piled in. “Can I start off with saying that… I’m sorry if you feel like any of us betrayed you.”

You trusted them all with your life, but that didn’t stop your heart from starting to race at the words Pepper said. Whatever this announcement was, it wasn’t good at all. “What?” When no one said anything, you laughed a little. “What, is the dress actually ugly and you didn’t say anything while we were in there? Do I need to go back?”

“No, the dress is beautiful.” The other girls nodded, and then you were sure of yourself and your taste again. “It’s just… Abigail.”

You frowned a bit, immediately thinking of the tragic scene where the girl rushed out of the quintet, breaking down by the second. “Oh, poor thing. Is she not doing as well as they say she is? I know a first big mission can be tough.”

There was a thick silence before Sharon blurted it out. “I am so, so sorry.” You leaned forward, heart skipping a few beats while Sharon took in a deep breath. You knew that some kind of blow was coming just by her apology, and you were bracing for it. “Natasha and Abigail had an affair on the mission.”

In the movies, it was like an instant shattering of the heart when news was broken like that. Immediate tears, automatic screaming and cursing and wanting to call up the other person to threaten them. There was lashing out, the breaking of glass, all the cinematic things that made actors on screen look better and less awkward when they broke down. You always thought that they were overreacting.

Now you knew that they weren’t. You felt that way on the inside. Your mind was raging like a hurricane and a tornado all at once, one disaster coming from the east and the other from the west. Your anger was the tornado, whipping around and threatening to destroy everything in your path and lash out at every single damn person in that car. But just like a tornado, you wore out and disbanded, all in your head. All that was left was the hurricane. The sadness. The disappointment. The heartbreak.

You had never even entertained the thought of how you would be after getting betrayed by her, but if you had, you probably would have imagined that the tornado would have acted first. But it didn’t. Unlike in the movies, all you did was tilt your head to the side and ask for the words to be repeated, even though you didn’t even listen for a second. You couldn’t believe it. Not Natasha. Not your Natasha. Not your angel.

“Natasha and Abigail slept with each other on multiple occasions on the mission, by word of Steve,” Sharon pointed out, her voice similar to the way a doctor sounded while delivering bad news, only a little shakier. “Abigail ran out crying because she fell in love with Natasha and knew that it would never really happen, not because she ruined the mission.”

Not only had Natasha slept with another person, but she had somehow convinced the girl that they were going to be together. Natasha didn’t have a ring, and the girl was new. There was no way she would have known that you two were together unless someone explicitly told her, and there were better things to do on a mission. It wasn’t her fault. Even if she had known, it wasn’t Abigail’s fault. Natasha Romanoff knew better. She knew a thousand times better.

“I don’t think either of them meant for it to happen,” Pepper said, immediately trying to calm you down, even though you hadn’t even spoken an angry word yet, and you looked like you weren’t even close to shouting.

The distinct sound of the partition rolling up was what brought you back to the present.

“But it did happen,” you said slowly, not even realizing that your teeth were gritted. “It happened.”

You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t want to, you wanted to believe it was a lie and calmly confront Natasha, but Steve was the one who had said it, and Steve didn’t lie. Why hadn’t he told you before?

Now that you knew what went on during the mission, you could see that everyone was acting weird. Everyone knew, there was no question about it. Which meant that everyone knew, and no one told you. They didn’t even hint toward anything, and they knew that you were supposed to be marrying the woman who went behind your back and did the unforgivable multiple times.

“We- we’re supposed to be getting married.” The pitiful sentence was all that you could string together in a thought as you looked out of the window at the traffic. You wished that the cars would just go, fly around so that you could cry by yourself. “I don’t even know what to say.” There were a million things happening in your mind at once, and trying not to cry in front of everyone was the biggest effort.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon’s voice said, and she really did sound apologetic. But it wasn’t enough in the moment. You wanted to hear Natasha say it, if all was true. But you knew it was. “We’re all sorry. We were waiting for Romanoff to own up to what she did.” Sharon said, obviously trying not to feel the wrath of you that was surely bubbling beneath the surface.

You could have been angry towards them. You knew that you felt betrayed, by everyone that knew and chose not to speak, that was a no-brainer. You could have been a lot of things at the moment, but there were bigger fish to fry. You clenched your fists and looked at the window, blinking rapidly as you grappled for composure. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t think you-”

“I get it. It’s alright. I just prefer not to speak right now, ‘s all.” And conversation ended. But that was when the turmoil in your head and heart started to crank up the energy.

Your first instinct was to bust in there and look for the Black Widow herself, to yell until you lost your voice. Your first instinct was to cause a scene and embarrass her as much as Natasha did to you. You couldn’t believe she had gotten everyone to lie for her. You couldn’t believe that she had an obvious affair with a new agent. You couldn’t believe that you walked around thinking that nothing was wrong while everyone else pitied you behind your back.

Unfortunately, you were quite used to not being enough. Not enough to make it into ivy leagues, not enough to make the track team, not having enough to afford to buy all of your clothes without cringing and thinking about putting some items back. But you were never going to be used to not being enough for Natasha Romanov.

The drive back was the most awkward drive that the four of them had ever been on, without question. You had tears streaming down your face but you were still as silent as the night, just like everyone else. You hardly ever cried. You were always the ray of sunshine and rationality in the tower, and now everything positive had been blown out by the darkness that Natasha created.

When everyone got out of the car, it was sluggishly. Everyone knew what was bound to happen, but it was questionable whether or not the end of the blow out was going to result in settlement or people storming and and leaving. You already knew how it would end.

The second that the elevator landed on you and Natasha’s floor, you shakily thanked the girls for their honesty and walked right out, knowing that it was probably the last time that you would ever be going up in Stark Tower. In your angry fantasy about confronting your fiancée, you imagined storming in and shouting her name, getting her attention and then breaking her down into pieces like the words did to you in the car.

But once you were in your room, you found that the fantasies were just that, and you couldn’t say a word or do a thing but find your suitcase and pack, all the fire leaving your body the second that you saw your room.

You were halfway through gathering everything that was yours in the room that you and Natasha shared, tears streaming down steadily, when you registered that it was real. Natasha had really done the unimaginable, and there was no turning back. A small sob escaped your throat when you saw the sweater you had gotten Natasha hanging up in the closet, the same one that she wore when she got down on one knee for you. Did that mean nothing, too? Was the meaning and emotion of that and everything that led up to it blown to smithereens by something as trivial as two months?

The door flung open. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t talk to me.” You blurted, turning your head to not look at Natasha, trying to avoid her blue gaze. If you looked, you had no doubts that you would turn to stone, and that you would never find the strength to leave the woman who you loved the most and hurt you the most, all within three minutes.

Natasha looked bewildered by the suitcase on the bed. “Are you- are you leaving?”

“What the hell else am I supposed to do?” The temper that was kept just below simmering in the car was finally starting to boil over. “I can’t believe you, Natasha!”

“I-” She sputtered, and you gave her a pointed look in response. “Who told you?”

The question brought fire into your veins. She knew that you knew, because she knew that it was the one secret that had the power to make you so emotional. You two kept no secrets, and for this to be the first? That was painful.

You knew that Natasha would sense your lie about who told you and who didn’t, but you told it anyway. There was no use in causing a riff between the team because they wanted to help you. “I figured it out myself. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Natasha held her hands out in front of her body, and the gesture was so similar to the way that she used to hold her hands out in a silent ask for you to hold them. You hated the way that your heart lurched, and the way that you craved the feeling of her hands even more. “It was an accident.”

An accident? A two month escapade with another woman was an accident?

“After that long ass ride home on the quinjet, you could have at least come up with a better lie.”

“Princessa-”

“I- fuck you.” Your voice cracked in the middle of the explicative, tears falling into the suitcase pitifully. It made your raging temper even worse. “Fuck you.”

“My love-”

“I don’t understand why!” You couldn’t contain the waves of emotion you felt anymore as you slammed the top of the unfinished suitcase closed. “I give you everything I have every single day. Every day. I love you with all of my heart and I do everything I can to make you happy and you give me this? I tried so hard to make sure that we were both happy together, and we were. So, why?”

The look on Natasha’s face wasn’t unfamiliar to you. You knew it well, but it had never been used on you before. It was the look of a spy who didn’t want to say a damn word, silent resistance that you knew would be unbroken. That’s when you knew that you may never know the real reason. And it broke you. “There isn’t a reason.”

You crumbled faster than you ever had before “Natasha, we were- how could you do this to me?” You collapsed into sobs, falling onto the bed and putting your face into your hands. You didn’t know how long you cried for until you felt a hand on your shoulder, very hesitant to even attempt at being comforting. You didn’t have the energy to tell her to fuck off.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha cooed, and for a second, it felt like something was right again. Natasha being gentle was a regular occurrence, a side to the famous ex assassin that only you saw. It was your biggest safety blanket in life. But when she opened her mouth again, you were brought back to why you two were even doing this in the first place. “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

You shook your head out of anger. The fact that the lie was shitty made it worse, made it hurt more. She didn’t even want to come up with a lie that would make you stay?

“Somehow you convinced that poor girl that you were going to be with her. How did you manage to do that on accident? How did you sleep with her multiple times on accident? You lead her on emotionally.”

“No.”

“Yes.” You pushed her hand off of your shoulder. “You told her some pretty little words and she fell for them as most do, right? Like I did, I guess. Just tell me the truth.”

“I didn’t-”

You remembered the way the girl was so distraught. You remembered the amount of tears that she had. You remembered the way that she avoided looking in your eyes, the way that she looked completely heart broken. Just like how you looked. You scoffed. “She told you she loved you, didn’t she?”

Natasha’s light blue eyes were boring into yours as she was silent. For the first time in a while, there was no telling of what Natasha was thinking in your mind. You were disconnected. “Yes.”

The words hurt to get out, but you had to know the answer to them. At any cost. Even at the cost of your own heart and sanity. “And you told her the same.”

There was a thick silence that spanned across multiple frantic heartbeats. “Yes.”

The next words were automatic. “I’m done.” You opened the suitcase again. The tears were coming harder than ever, warping your voice so much that your not Natasha hardly recognized it. “Done.”

“You can’t just-”

“Yes, I can!” You whipped around, eyes nailing Natasha right in her place. “Unless you can give me a good reason for what the hell you did, I’m done.”

Excruciating silence. It struck like lightning on the last tree in a struck down forest.

You turned on your heel, but then, words bubbled up in your throat, and you couldn’t shove them down. “When you miss me after you’re done, don’t come back to me.” Your voice cracked in the middle, but you kept pushing. “When you stop and think about what we could have been, do not come and find me. Because you’ll figure it out one day, and it’ll get through that thick skull.”

Natasha’s eyes were slightly watery as she looked on, taking a few steps forward with on outstretched arm, looking to latch on to you. “Love, please.”

You scoffed and ran out of the door, with nothing but a suitcase and a bag in your hands. You cried all the way to the elevator, ignoring the fact that Wanda and Vision’s room was right there across the hall, and how they without a doubt heard everything. Hell, everyone had heard everything. The argument weren’t exactly quiet.

You cried even harder when the doors of the elevator closed. Your hands shook as you brought them up to your face, remembering far too late that Tony Stark sometimes watched the tapes, especially elevator ones. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care. You turned into yourself and sobbed as your body and head shook, trying to rid herself of everything that happened. You cried more when you realized that you hadn’t meant a word of what you said to Natasha.

Deep down, through all of the emotions, you wanted her to seek you out when she learned her lesson. You didn’t know why, and you knew that you didn’t want it any time soon, but you knew that you wanted it.

It was supposed to be a magical day. The day you got the dress was the day it all became real, the day that solidified the fact that you would be getting married to the woman that you loved. You were heart broken. The familiar sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening barely snapped you out of your well deserved pity party.

You only took one look at the new arrival, and that was when it was decided that the universe, was indeed, very unkind.

Abigail stood there like a deer in head lights, swallowing and looking with wide eyes, certainly unsure about whether or not she should just leave or apologize and hop in and pretend like she didn’t know what was going on. She looked like she expected confrontation.

Your wobbly smile shocked her. “You don’t have to be scared. Come in.” Your voice was just as shaky as the smile you offered, stepping to the side a bit and giving the other woman enough room.

You felt bad. Abigail was young, even younger than you. There was no way that she knew. No one really resisted the charms of Natasha Romanoff, anyway, and you knew it. Especially not a wide eyed newbie who was desperate to please on her first mission with the big guys, some of the original Avengers. There was no doubt that she felt terrible based on the way that she didn’t look you in the eye, and how she avoided everyone. There was only one person in the wrong, and it wasn’t this poor girl.

The doors dinged as they reached the bottom, and right before they opened, you smiled at her. “It’s okay,” your voice was a strong whisper. “It’s not your fault.” You gave her one look as you wheeled your suitcase out of the elevator, taking long strides to reach the huge front door of the tower, praying for no more interruptions.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t want to stop at all. You knew who’s commanding voice it was, and stopping to talk didn’t seem like an option. You preferred not to talk to anyone on the team, especially not one of the people who went on the mission. You wiped your cheeks and turned around anyway. “Yes?”

Steve stood before you, a sincere expression on his face as he looked you up and down, your obvious and inevitable departure making him wince. “I’m sorry.”

There was nothing that you could really say to him. He wasn’t the point of your anger and he was a friend, even if he had kept something from you. “You’re not the one who did it.”

“I could have told you.”

“No, she should have, a long time before someone else did. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The story of infidelity that happened was Natasha’s story to tell. While you still felt a little more than bitter about being an idiot in the dark about the whole thing, you would have preferred to hear it from her, one hundred percent. “I’m just pissed I found out after buying the perfect dress and veil and all of it. I was so ready.” You felt like a fool.

“I don’t know why she-”

“I don’t know why, either.” You admitted, shaking your head slowly. “But one day, maybe I’ll figure it out.”

“You’re leaving.” Steve saw it as a closed chapter now that you were storming out. Anyone would, but you knew better. You knew how Natasha worked, you knew how you worked, but most importantly, you knew how you two worked together. “You and Natasha- you and Nat are special. I’ve never seen anything like what you two have in my life, no one has. That’s why we’re all so mad. She ruined the one relationship that everyone obviously knows is true love, for no reason.”

“I know.”

He looked guilty for even saying the words. “You’re not going to try and work it out?”

“Don’t you think that I know what we have is special?” You asked him, new tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m leaving this to her because I trust her with it. I don’t forgive her, and maybe I never will, but this is for her to decide.”

“What makes you think that she’ll decide right? Or what she’ll even decide at all?”

“She’ll come back.” You stated with certainty, and these were the first words that hadn’t had a crack or wobble in them since you started talking to the red head. “She’ll miss me and she’ll be over the thrill of whatever happened on the mission, and she’ll find me, wherever I decide to go. She’ll come back to me, just like I would come back to her. It could take weeks or years, but she will. That’s how we work.”

Steve was momentarily stunned, but after a few short moments, you knew that you had convinced him. “And you’re willing to wait for her? However long it takes?”

You lifted your lips at him, even more tears building up in your eyes as your answer flew up to your lips without even thinking. “She’ll come and find out.”

You walked away with heavy steps, already feeling her lingering on your skin, and the haunting memories of the two of you as happy as could be swirling around in your head.

You were well aware that removing Natasha from your life would hurt. But you never could have anticipated how much it would hurt.

Natasha was the safety net you never knew you needed. She was the one person on earth who made you feel truly wanted, needed even. She knew everything that you required to feel loved and you knew her just the same, and you both did those things. And that’s what made you two different.

You had been cheated on before. That was how Natasha had met you, actually. Your last boyfriend had cheated on you like the dirty dog he was with nearly every woman he was cute enough to be with for a night, and Natasha met you while you were getting hammered at a bar because you found out. Natasha met you at your lowest point and raised you up with all her might, and still had energy to love you. You felt useless and discarded, thrown under the bed and tossed to the side of the road, but she found you and made you something new. She made you her favorite.

Natasha was everywhere.

She was in the way that you made your coffee, because you hated it before you met her, and she introduced you to a kind that you liked. You got as addicted to it as you were to her.

She was in the way that you walked around the park at night instead of in the morning like you did before you met her, because she liked looking at the stars together.

She was in the way that you searched for her next to you in your sleep and when you first woke up. She was in the ring you still had. She was in the way you wrote your letter ‘n’ now, because you wrote her notes for years and always made the ‘n’ fancy just for her. It stuck. She was somehow related to every show and every movie and every brand of ice cream, and from the second week of suffering without her, you knew that she would linger on you like a faded tattoo.

During the third week, you swore that you could smell her perfume, though it made no sense. You had done laundry many times, and all of a sudden the smell popped up, like she was dropping in to spray the perfume and then leaving as soon as she came. The rich smell was something that you would never forget, and it hung around like thick smoke in your mind. You wanted it to leave.

You cursed her name all throughout the fourth week of being alone in your small apartment in Brooklyn. Everything was her fault. The washer broke, Natasha somehow did it. If you woke up with makeup still on your face from the past night, Natasha was at fault.

You went shopping during the sixth week, and you swore you saw flashes of her red hair in the grocery line, pitifully walking faster with your cart to both flee and go towards it. A part of you knew that she would never shop this far out, but you couldn’t help it. You missed her. You missed her a lot.

But that didn’t change that it stung so, so badly.

It was disgustingly close to what the wedding date would have been when you were lying in bed with a stray cat that you had managed to nurse back to health and call your own about two weeks prior. In a way, it was freeing. Natasha hated animals. They were a responsibility in her mind, nothing more. You loved the cat quickly, and named him Henry.

There were three sharp knocks on the door that you would have taken for strokes of thunder if they weren’t so close. You frowned and stood up, walking to the window to peak outside and see that there was a thunderstorm rolling through, the wind higher than usual and the rain coming down sideways.

You walked to the door with the small cat trailing behind you like a loyal companion. You cracked a smile when he meowed, and you looked through the peep hole, the bright porch light shocking your eye for a second, and then you saw.

Natasha Romanoff was standing there, soaking wet with her arms hanging at her sides, trembling from the cold.

You took two steps back that startled Henry, causing him to meow louder this time. You breathed in, trying to be quiet, but you knew that she knew you were there. She was so trained that you knew she heard you approaching, and when you took your steps away from the door. You both knew each other were there.

You had indirectly told her to seek you out when she was ready, and here she was.

Were you ready?

Like you were a child trying to eavesdrop, you held your breath as you leaned into the door, putting your ear on it as you struggled to hear something, anything, from her. She wasn’t talking. You looked up into the peephole again, and she was looking at her feet, waiting for something to happen. She knew that you were deciding.

You had spent time looking for her in places you knew she would never be, running to and from things that looked like or reminded you of her, and now the real thing stood in your porch light in the rain. She came back to you.

She came back, but that didn’t erase everything that happened. Not at all. Her two months of fun and new experiences acted as the eraser, painting over everything that they had ever done in black paint. The joy of dancing with her under street lights and kissing in Tony’s limos and her hand under your sweatshirt didn’t amount to the pain it felt when she ripped herself from you.

But why did it hurt so much if they weren’t the same amount of emotion, if not more? If you looked at it with a rational mind, was the joy not worth more than the pain?

The pain weighed like bricks. There was one big brick that weighed half a ton on one scale, nearly tipping the other side.

But the joy? It weighed like clouds, because that’s what joy was. It was the feeling of being above the clouds. And you found that every moment of joy that you had Natasha, even though it was the weight of clouds, still outweighed the fat brick.

But were all of the cloud moments enough to possibly take another brick?

Your hand moved before you knew it, and you were undoing the chain and unlocking the door, yanking it open roughly and staring her down.

She was shocked. Her eyes were wide as she stared at you without any barriers, automatic tears welling up. Had she come all that way to not even know whether or not you would answer? Hell, you had done all of that while in limbo with yourself.

But now, without even knowing how Natasha truly felt, without even hearing one word from her mouth, you knew something changed.

“I knew you’d come back.”

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel fanfiction #fem reader #lgbtq #natasha x reader #natasha x you #marvel imagines #my fics

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fanfic-requests · 3 years ago

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The Angel Next Door - Chapter 2

8:15 am…

“Good morning. Sleep well?” My mom is way too chipper in the morning.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Wow. Very detailed answer.”

“What? Do you want me to tell you how I drooled on my pillow and rolled off the bed twice?”

“Actually, kinda.”

“You’re weird.”

“What’s up slugger?” Dave walks in.

“Nothin’.”

“Wow babe, you’re kid’s quite the wordsmith.” I’m about to respond in a not-so-nice way, but I hold it back.

“When’s the pool gonna be ready?”

“It’ll be a few weeks.” My mom hands me a glass of orange juice.

“Thanks.” I start walking away.

“Hey! No food or drinks upstairs.” I turn to face Dave, really tempted to throw the OJ in his face.

“So no water? What about vitamins? Technically they’re food.”

“Haha, smart aleck.” He turns away from me and I flip him off.

My mom gives me a look that says “stop it!” and I just turn away, leaving my OJ on the nearest table.

When I get to my room I am very tempted to slam the door, but somehow manage to not do so. I open my window and just step out onto the deck to get some fresh air for the moment. And yet again there’s Asher. He seems to be playing some video games. So I reach into my room, grab a sock, ball it up, and throw it at his window. And he doesn’t notice. Son of a bitch. So I grab a pen and throw it. This time he notices and walks over to his window.

“What you doing?”

“Just playing some Madden.”

“Sounds fun.” I stand up, run across the roof, and jump across the gap between our roofs, landing directly in front of him.

“Shit! Dude!” He looks freaked out and I just start laughing.

“It’s all good. Now, are you gonna let me in and get destroyed in Madden? Or are we gonna just stand here like some weirdos from a 90s rom-com?”

“You’re crazy.” He steps back to let me in.

“I take that as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t.”

I sit on his bed while he grabs another controller.

“I can’t believe you’re even awake right now. Did you even sleep?”

“I don’t sleep much.”

“So you’re super athletic and don’t sleep. Are you sure you’re not Spiderman?”

“Nope. Just a retired gymnast.”

“Gymnast?”

“What? You didn’t get gymnast off me?”

“Not at all.”

“Good.”

“How are you already retired?”

“Well I guess retired isn’t the right word. Just the one my mom uses.” I spot a photo on Asher’s desk and walk over. “It’s more that I got sick of it and left.” The photo is of him and what I’m assuming are his mom, dad, and younger brother and sister. “This your fam?”

“Yeah. From our trip to the Bahamas last summer.”

“Looks fun.”

“You’re parents seem nice. Saw them unpacking yesterday.”

“Dave’s not my dad.” I make sure to emphasize that.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No problem. Most people assume that.” I sit back down next to him. “My dad’s out of the picture now. Dave’s the evil stepfather.”

“Sorry.”

“He’s just the stereotypical evil step-parent. It’s actually his fault that we moved here. Some business opportunity or whatever.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry about that.”

“You say sorry a lot.”

“Sor… Oops.” We both laugh.

“Now can we just play or are you scared of losing?”

“What? You’re the one that started talking about Dave.”

“Oh shut up!” I shove him and he shoves me back as we laugh.

“That was just dumb luck.” I stand up, throwing the controller on the bed.

“Dumb luck? 12 times in a row?”

“Oh fuck you.” Asher laughs. “Let’s do something else. Go out or something.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Out.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“I haven’t met her, but I’m assuming she’s amazing.”

“Eww.”

“Let’s go.”

“Wait. Let me at least tell my parents.”

“Fine. Come on.” I open his bedroom door and standing right there is his mom.

She smiles at me, looking very confused.

“Hi. I’m Spencer.”

“Hey.” She looks very confused, but luckily Asher comes walking up.

“He’s the new neighbor.”

“Oh! Really good to meet you. I was planning on dropping by to say hi to your parents later.”

“Oh, they’d love that.”

“I didn’t even hear you come in earlier.”

“Oh… yeah… I’m very quiet.” Asher and I share a funny look.

“Well, Spencer and I were just about to go out. Can I borrow the car?”

“Sure. Where are you guys going?”

“Oh… um…” Asher is nervous and part of me doesn’t want to save him.

“He’s going to show me around town.”

“That’s nice. You guys have fun.”

Asher and I run out to the car.

“Do you need to go and get shoes? Maybe tell your mom and Dave that you’re going out?”

I look to the house for a second.

“Nah.” I jump into the car and I just see Asher smirk at that.

“Is he really that bad?” He asks as he drives out of the driveway.

“Worse. But everyone loves him. He’s only awful to me, and never in public.”

“Like… is he…”

“No. He’s not physical. He wouldn’t even dare. I would knock him out with one hit and he knows it.”

“Damn.”

“Let’s move on to something else.”

“Like what?”

“Tell me a summary of your life… in 60 seconds.”

“Oh…”

“Begin!”

“Shit! My name is Asher Angel…”

“Angel?”

“Shh. Since I was a kid I’ve been very into acting and singing. Got my first big gig at the age of six. From there on I’ve done a lot of plays and then a few small gigs before getting a major role on Disney Channel’s Andi Mack. I’ve released multiple albums. Then I got the role as Billy Batson in Shazam.”

“Five seconds.”

“Oh, and I love Top Golf, basketball, and my sibling’s names are Avi and London.” I just look over at him, unable to speak. “You good?”

“Um… describe good.” We both laugh. “Well, now I feel ridiculous. How did I not recognize you? I’ve seen Shazam!”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I liked it a lot too.” Asher can’t help but laugh. “Well, now I’m embarrassed.”

“Don’t be.”

“And now my life story feels pathetic.”

“I doubt it. No way your life could be boring. The first time I saw you you were sneaking off your roof.”

“ It’s fine. Let’s move on.”

“Come on. I won’t judge.”

“Wait! Stop here!” I point to our left.

“What? The playground?”

“What? It’s empty.” He pulls over and I quickly get out of the car.

I rush over to the bars. I jump on them and just start swinging around.

“You’re crazy.”

“Come on. Who says a playground is just for kids?”

“Everyone.”

“Well, kids can’t do this.”

I know this isn’t the safest, but at this point, I don’t care. So I push with all my force and spin around the pole. I spin a few more times before letting go and doing a simple under swing dismount.

“Shit!” Asher starts clapping.

“Thank you. Thank you.” I bow to him.

“I think it’s so cool that you can do that.”

“It is pretty cool, isn’t it? Bars aren’t really my thing though. I’m more of a floor guy.”

“Floor guy? That sounds a bit gross.” We both laugh.

“Eww.” I step back and quick front handspring.

“Shit. Can you do the splits?”

“Of course. But not in these pants.”

“So why’d you quit? You’re so good.”

“Swings!” I run to the swings.

“You’re really good at avoiding things. You know that, right?” Asher sits on the swing next to me.

“I know. You got a girlfriend?”

“Wow. What a transition there!”

“And?”

“No. I don’t have a girlfriend. Well, I did, but we broke up a few months ago.”

“Bummer.”

“And you? You leave a girl behind?”

“Oh god no. But I’ve had a few boyfriends. Not a recent one though.”

“Oh... “ I love seeing people’s faces when they realize I’m gay. “Sorry I assumed.”

“It’s fine. Most people do.”

“So you’re out?”

“Yeah. For two years now.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, are your parents fine with it?”

I sit there for a second and just stare forward. Part of me just wants to run, but I’m honestly just too tired to keep running.

“Well, my mom was fine with it. She told me she knew for a long time.” I feel my heart racing, thinking about all of this. “As for my dad…” I literally begin feeling my chest moving at a dangerous speed.

“You okay?”

“Not really.” I find my eyes tearing up, but then I just laugh.

“You sure.”

“Not really.” I laugh again. “When I was six my parents divorced. And I was given the choice of who I wanted to live with. I choose my dad.”

“Oh…” I can tell he’s intrigued like it’s a telenovela… and it is.

“So I lived with him. But I still saw my mom every weekend. We were close. But I was much closer with my dad.”

“That’s nice.” I can’t help but laugh at that and he just looks at me confused.

“Two years ago I came out to my parents. My dad couldn’t handle it. He kicked me out. I didn’t even get to pack. My mom picked me up and she had to pack all my stuff.”

“Damn. I’m sorry.” It is a struggle to not let my tears out right now.

“It’s all good.”

“Have you talked to him at all?”

“Nope. Haven’t heard a single word from him for two years now.”

“I can’t imagine that.”

“It’s fine. I’ve moved on.”

“There’s no moving on from that.” And then I snap, tears slowly falling down my face.

“God I wish I had my flask right now.” Asher and I both laugh a little. “Ugh, I hate this.” I wipe my tears.

“It’s not a bad thing to cry.”

“I know…”

“Really. Emotions aren’t a bad thing. If you ever need to talk about anything just jump on over.”

“Thanks…” I look at him. “Are you sure you’re straight?” I laugh, but I notice he doesn’t.

“Wanna go get some ice cream?”

“Look who’s avoiding things now?” We both laugh. “Come on. Ice cream sounds perfect.”

#asher angel #asher angel fanfic #asher angel gay #asher angel fanfiction #gay fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #gay romance #romance #angst #drama #gay angst #gay drama #the boy next door #boy next door #slow burn #friendship then romance #mature

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benedictscanvas · 5 years ago

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found - aaron hotchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k (i got a little carried away with this one!)

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, torture, serial killers, reader’s father was killed in a car crash, reader is the victim of emotional and (a small bit of) physical abuse from her mother, nice and fluffy ending

Request: i ADORE your writing. could you do a hotch x female reader where the reader works at the bau but comes from a really rich business family and a case comes in where her brother's gone missing because they want money from the family. they save him but the reader's mother belittles and slaps her, and the team stand up for her in front of her family and then later she goes to hotch's office and just some cute fluff because they've been in love with each other for years? ik it's weirdly specific lol

A/N: First of all, thank you! Also, never apologise for specific requests, it only means that I don’t have to think up an idea myself, haha, always a good thing! This one got away from me a little, but I just really loved how protective the team were of the reader here (especially my man Aaron). Love to you all, I hope none of you ever have to go through a situation like the one below <3

---

The weight in your stomach was beginning to ache now. Your mind was playing the events of the past few days over and over but you couldn’t work it out. You’d found him, you should be fine, and yet there was something still bothering you.

There was no way the BAU ever would have taken this case were it not for the connection you had to it, there was no point kidding yourself about that. It was on Tuesday morning that you had practically run through the bullpen towards Hotch’s office, ignoring the concerned voices of the members of your team and not bothering to knock as you burst in on him.

“It’s my brother,” you said, out of breath, clutching the door with a painfully tight grip as your chest heaved and Hotch stood from his desk. His face would have seemed as stoic as usual to most people, but you could see the worried lines around his eyes better than most people, “Someone’s taken him, I don’t know who, but they want money quickly and my mother won’t give them the money and-”

“Y/N,” he quieted you with his soft utterance of your name, and you gasped in for breath that you didn’t have. There were tears in your eyes, but you wouldn’t let them fall, “We’ll get everyone in the conference room, okay? Tell us all at once.”

You nodded, pressing your lips together and wiping a shaky hand down your face. He didn’t question you. Didn’t question taking the case. You had hardly told him anything and he was dropping whatever the hell he had been doing, and even in your haze of fear you couldn’t appreciate him more.

“Thanks, Hotch,” you said quietly, and he simply nodded at you, resting a warm hand on your shoulder briefly as he passed you to gather the team together. Not five minutes later were you telling the team everything, from the rich parents you’d never previously mentioned to your brother’s disappearance, showing them a picture of the ransom note that had showed up on your mother’s doorstep that morning. Not thirty minutes later were you on a plane to your hometown, sat next to Hotch on the seat of four and listening to him and the team bouncing theories around.

It had taken three days to find him.

Three days of you being worried to the point of sickness. You’d thrown up multiple times. JJ had been there the first time, swiftly following you into the bathroom after the toe showed up in the mail. She held your hair back as you emptied your lunch into the toilet, your tears simultaneously streaming into the bowl. But the second time was after your mother refused for the fourth time to pay the ransom to save your brother. You only made it to a bin in an empty room in the police precinct, but Hotch was right behind you, rubbing your back with a firm hand.

You only found him in the end due to a connection Spencer made between the original ransom note and the note that came with the toe, an inconsistency that led Garcia to a name and you to an address. It all fell into place quickly, like it often did, and soon the two culprits were in cuffs, your brother was sent off in an ambulance and the case was closed with no lives lost. It should have been a good day.

But still, now, as you sat in the front seat as Hotch drove you to the hospital your brother had been taken to, your stomach was swirling with doubt and anxiety and you knew exactly why.

“You don’t look too happy,” he commented in a low voice, even though there was no one else in the SUV except for the two of you. As soon as your brother was taken away in the ambulance, your mother jumped in beside him and you were left on the pavement, before Hotch placed a hand on your back and jingled the keys beside you, spurring you into action, “Your brother will be fine, Y/N, they’re only taking him as a precaution.”

“Oh no, I know,” you said flippantly, turning to Hotch even though he kept his eyes on the road, “He’s a strong guy, he’ll take this in stride. There’s just something...else.”

You wondered whether you should tell him. It was a thought you dismissed as soon as it came. You and Hotch were close, closer than anyone else really realised, and if you told him there was no telling what he might want to do about it. There was nothing to be done, though, and so there was nothing to be said either.

“What is it?”

“I just-” you figured out your lie, needing it to be half-true so he wouldn’t see through it, “I don’t think it’s sunk in yet that he’s safe.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything. It was a sign that he knew you were lying, that he was waiting for you to crack and tell him the truth. A trick he’d learned from you, actually. Sometimes, you stayed late with him to help him out with paperwork, try to get him home a little sooner and you talked. You talked a lot. And whenever you’d ask him how he was, or whether something was bothering him and he would lie you would nod and go silent, waiting for him to speak again and inevitably reveal the truth.

It wouldn’t work on you this time. Instead, the rest of the drive passed in a slightly uncomfortable silence and when you got out of the car, the two of you headed into the hospital without words. Guilt poked at your heart but you pushed it away as you were given directions to your brother’s room and took purposeful steps in that direction.

Just as you reached the door, you pushed open the door to join him, your mother and the nurse that was checking him over.

“Hey little-”

“Y/N!” your mother cried, rushing over to hurry you out of the room again and you caught a glimpse of your brother’s apologetic glance before she was shutting the door in your face, “Can we have a word?”

The weight in your stomach was getting heavier by the second.

“I’d really like to see my brother and check he’s okay,” you said, tone clipped and formal. You felt Hotch’s presence a little way behind you, watched your mother’s eyes flick between you and him with disdain.

“And I would really like a word with you,” she said, her voice different to how it had been. She had an audience now, you thought silently, and fought the urge to roll your eyes, “If you wouldn’t mind talking to your mother.”

She was trying to make you look bad and you knew it. You tried not to, but you could feel your embarrassment rising despite yourself. There was nothing to be embarrassed about and you knew it, but having Hotch there watching your mother talk to you like this, no doubt profiling you both made heat creep up the back of your neck.

“Then let’s find somewhere private-” you attempted but she cut you off.

“No, we talk here.”

It had been her favourite method of doing things when you were younger too. As soon as your dad died, she began subtly belittling you in the house. Blaming you for his death was the only way she seemed to move forward, even though you quickly accepted that just because you had been in the car when he died didn’t make you at all responsible.

But it was when you went out with her that she truly came into her own, having the free reign to humiliate you as publicly as possible, making sure that other people heard it. You hadn’t seen her in a few years. You’d forgotten how difficult it was, even now, to avoid reverting back into that childlike state when she looked at you like that.

“Mother-”

“Again. Again, someone has hurt our family and again, you are the one responsible. Do you enjoying seeing me suffer? Is that was this is, Y/N?”

You stared at your feet and set your jaw. It was difficult to know whether to shout at her, laugh in her face, or start sobbing on the ground. You’d tried all three before. Nothing worked. And now - oh god - and now the whole team had rushed into the hospital to check on you and your brother and you turned your head a little to see Hotch hold up a hand to stop them from saying anything behind him. You bit your lip. The taste of copper filled your mouth with a welcome, distracting bitterness.

“How could this possibly be my fault?” you asked incredulously, looking up and meeting her gaze with all the anger you held towards her for so much of your life, all the resentment. You hoped none of the fear shone through alongside it. Apparently, your rage meant nothing, as she simply laughed, the hollow sound a haunting nostalgic tune.

“You’re meant to be a fucking FBI agent, and yet your brother has come home without two of his toes and one of his fingers,” she said, still laughing, shaking her head in disbelief at you, “You couldn’t find him in time.”

You were seething.

“If we hadn’t found him in time, he’d be dead. Things don’t always end this well, mother. He’s lucky,” you ground out and she reared back, stung.

“Lucky? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Mrs Y/L/N-” Hotch began, and you heard him take a small step forward behind you. You winced. You knew what was coming.

“Oh, Agent Hotchner,” she said, her tone sweet again and you felt your stomach churn. You were beginning to feel lightheaded. Your serial killer catching team were right there and you were being scolded by your mother. Don’t cry, you pleaded with yourself, “You must be so tired of dealing with my daughter and her lack of empathy. Thinking that her own brother is lucky when he’s been severely deformed, I mean, the lack of-”

“Severely deformed?” you said, chest heaving as you stared her down, “Sam is fine. He will be fine. He is not deformed. All thanks to me and my team. My amazing team, who do not want to see any of this so can we please-”

Part of you was hoping that maybe some of them would take your hint and leave, just so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of your colleagues anymore, just so you wouldn’t have to handle them losing all their respect for you. But there were no footsteps.

“We’re not going anywhere. You’re not seeing your brother. I won’t let you hurt him more than you already have-”

“I have never hurt Sam in my life-”

“You know you’ve hurt him more than anyon-”

“For fuck’s sake, mother, I didn’t kill dad!”

She slapped you. Actually slapped you right across the face and your head whipped to the side. She’d never done that before. Perhaps she’d never had the heart when you were younger, or maybe you’d never actually said the words before, you didn’t know. You clutched your cheek as you kept your eyes downward and felt the tears staining your cheeks. Fuck.

You were already planning your resignation from the BAU in the stunned silence of the corridor.

JJ was first to run forward, putting an arm around you.

“Are you okay?” she murmured in your ear and you simply nodded, shrugging her away from you a little in your embarrassment.

“Don’t you ever mention your father to me,” she said, her voice dangerous, but you still hadn’t looked up, couldn’t fathom giving her the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You wanted to scream at her, slap her right back, maybe slam her against the wall but you knew none of it would help. You hardly had any dignity left as it was.

“You know what, Mrs Y/L/N,” Dave spoke up into the silence and you closed your eyes, hoping he wouldn’t say anything too bad, “I was wondering why you wouldn’t pay the ransom. I thought maybe it was the principle, or perhaps you were worried they’d just ask for more. But, I get it now.”

“Yeah, me too, Rossi,” Derek chimed in, “Now it’s easy to understand. Your kids simply aren’t worth anything to you.”

“Excuse me?” your mother’s voice was higher in pitch and part of you was worried she might slap them, but you knew she didn’t have it in her. JJ was still hovering behind you.

“You have two wonderful children, Mrs Y/L/N,” Emily continued, “Sam’s a doctor, the perfect child and yet the only value he has to you is in the bragging rights he provides.”

“And Y/N? She’s one of the best agents in the bureau. She cares about people-” Spencer’s voice cracked and you blinked out a fresh wave of tears, “-she cares so much. She’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. If you can’t see that, then it’s your loss.”

You finally stood up straight and looked to your team with eyes full of shame. Your cheek was no doubt a different colour to the rest of your face, tear stains galore, eyes puffy. No moment was worse, than seeing them all staring at you with pity in their eyes, and yet the warmth you felt radiating from them was stronger than any feeling you’d ever had from your family. This was your family, after all. Your real family.

“Y/N’s one of the best people I’ve ever met too.”

“Same here.”

“Me too.”

Came the replies from your team. You let out a shaky exhale as you stared at them. Thanking them and apologising to them all at once with just the look in your eyes. Your mother was still silent, clearly shocked that anyone could possibly care about you like this, let alone a whole group of people.

“She’s the best person I’ve ever met,” Hotch spoke up and when your eyes snapped to his, you didn’t see pity. You saw that fiery anger that he usually reserved for the lowest of the low. And yet now, he was staring at your mother with that stare that made killers recoil in their seats. She looked horrified, “And she’s going in that room to see her brother. You will go outside and wait until we’ve left. Then, and only then, can you come back inside this building.”

“But-”

“That’s an order from a federal agent, Mrs Y/L/N,” his voice was hard and unfaltering and you saw his hands clenched at his sides, longed to prise them open and slip your fingers in between his, “Rest assured that if I ever hear you speak to Y/N like that again, I will make your life a living hell. You’re a lawyer, right? I pull some strings, and you’ll be out of a job before you can blink.”

“She’s my daughter and I will-”

“Go outside.”

You surprised yourself when you spoke up. But the anger that boiled inside you had bubbled to the surface and now, there was no stopping you. Your team were behind you, literally, figuratively, in every way possible. It was enough. You weren’t a child anymore.

“Y/N-”

“I said, go outside. I don’t want to see you again, are we clear? We’re done,” when she just stood there dumbfounded, you pointed towards the exit and took a step towards her, your heart leaping when she took a step backwards, “Leave.”

And just like that, she left. She had to walk past every member of your team on her way and they refused to move out of her way, so she had to squeeze past each and every one, mumbling to herself the entire time.

She was gone and silence enveloped the little corridor to the private room yet again.

“And don’t come back,” Dave muttered, causing you to finally crack a smile in his direction, which in turn made him smile, and the rest of the team, even though they were hesitant. You wanted to say thank you, but you weren’t sure you had the words. You were so damn tired.

“Hey,” JJ spoke up beside you, a hand on your shoulder, “Go see your brother. You want to stay for a while? We can hold the jet.”

You shook your head.

“I’ll see him quickly,” you said, “I just want to go home.”

Everyone smiled again, more sympathetically and Hotch spoke up, his voice back to his normal voice around you. It was your favourite version of him. Soft.

“We’ll be right here when you’re ready.”

You nodded gratefully, turning and heading into the room without another word, because you didn’t have anymore. You just said a quick hello to your brother, gave him a tight hug. You’d never been close, the torment you’d been put through by your mother he had been immune from and it had put a rift between you. You’d never understand each other. But he was your brother, and you loved him all the same, so you wished him well and told him to call more often. When you left the room, true to their word, the team were still there and led you out of the hospital to the SUVs, shielding you with their bodies from your mother outside. You didn’t even see her.

There was no talking in the SUV. Hotch drove, Derek in the front beside him and you sat in the back with JJ. She insisted. Halfway to the jet, she reached over and grabbed your hand, not even looking over at you and you squeezed it gently. You were grateful for the grounding touch.

It was only back on the jet that someone spoke up. Hotch was busy in the kitchen. But everyone else was sat around. You were sat beside Spencer at the table, with JJ and Rossi opposite. Derek was sat on the couch nearby and Emily perched on an arm rest just so she wasn’t sat too far from you.

“When did it start, Y/N?” Derek asked once the plane had been in the air for a while, earning some sharp looks from JJ and Emily but you waved them away.

“It’s okay, guys, it’s not like I can hide it now,” you said, having calmed down significantly on the drive to the jet, JJ’s touch and the hum of the engine comfort enough to decrease your heart rate, bring you back to earth. Your shame was still there, but you had tucked it away for later. Right now, you wanted to salvage as much of yourself as you could, “As you guys know, my dad was killed in a crash when I was 12. But what you don’t know, is that I was in the car and that my mother blamed me for it. She made everyday after a living hell. I moved out as soon as I could and never looked back. I’ve not seen her much since, just family events and such, but she’s always the same.”

They all had varying looks of anger and sadness. Spencer asked the question on everyone’s minds.

“Has she ever…?”

You didn’t make him finish, because you knew the words would be difficult for him.

“Hurt me before? No, she hasn’t. I don’t know what was different this time,” you shrugged, subconsciously reaching up to gently touch your cheek, “I don’t think I’ve ever said outright that I didn’t kill him before.”

“But you know you didn’t, right?” Emily asked without thinking and you smiled at her.

“I’ve always known that,” you said honestly, “It would have been so much worse if I’d believed her, but I always knew she was wrong.”

Hotch emerged from the kitchen with an ice pack and you smiled at him a little, relaxing when he offered a small smile in return. You expected him to hand it to you, but to your surprise he sat on your armrest right next to you, your arm pressed against his side. He brushed your hair away from your face with gentle fingers and placed the icepack on your cheek, apologising under his breath when you winced from the cold sting.

“That’s what you were worried about in the car then,” he mused aloud, gaining the attention of everyone on the plane, “You knew what was coming.”

“Somehow, I did,” you grimaced, looking up at him, “And I’m sorry you had to see it,” you looked around at everyone, “I’m sorry you all had to see it. It’s so embarrassing and degrading and...well I understand that your perception of me must have changed but I assure you-”

“Woah, woah,” Derek interrupted, “The only way my perception of you has changed, honey, is that you’re stronger than any of us knew.”

When you looked at everyone else around the plane, they were in agreement with Derek, it was clear. You felt yourself welling up again, and cursed your weakness.

“I can’t thank you guys enough for what you said about me,” you began, voice shaky, “It just...it means a lot. I’ve never had a real family before.”

“Well, now you do,” Dave said simply, watching you with those kind eyes of his. You nodded with a smile before Spencer produced a blanket from behind you, offering it up to you if you wanted to sleep. You accepted gratefully, laughing a little when Spencer and Hotch on either side of you helped to tuck it around you snugly. Your laugh was a sign to the team that they could relax. That you’d be fine. As you fell asleep, you felt Hotch lean into you a little more, still holding the icepack on your face, and the knowledge he was there was enough to lull you into slumber.

---

Spencer woke you gently and told you that you’d landed. There was no one left on the plane, but you’d trapped him into the window seat. He waved you off when you apologised.

“You’re really important to us, Y/N,” he said, letting a few walls down now that everyone else had gone. You knew it must’ve been hard for him to hear her say those things to you. You’d talked about childhood bullying before, helped him to work through his own without telling him your experience. He’d probably feel guilty that he hadn’t known, but you pulled him into a rare hug.

“You’re important to me too, Spence,” you said, knowing that he’d really meant it personally. You felt his smile against your shoulder and grinned at him sleepily when you pulled away, both of you making your way off the jet. You walked into the office and shared compulsory hugs with the rest of the team, including Dave who you didn’t think you’d ever hugged before. When the hugging was over and people began to make their way home, you looked up at his office.

Hotch.

He was leaning against his desk. Not working. You knew he was waiting for you, so you hopped up the steps and let yourself in without knocking, letting the door close behind you with a soft click.

As soon as the door was closed, his shoulders fell and his posture became hunched.

“Hearing her talk to you like that…”

He trailed off and your heart melted. You walked towards him and rested your hands tentatively on his biceps, feeling the muscles relax at your touch.

“Hotch,” you breathed, “We’re home now.”

“But I didn’t do anything,” he said, eyes flashing upwards to meet yours and that anger seemed to be back, but it was directed inward, “She was saying all this crap about you and I didn’t even do anything, I didn’t want to intrude but then she- she slapped you, Y/N.”

He was talking in facts, a trick he used to take the emotion out of situations in which he got too emotional. You recognised it in an instant. The small protective edge he had for you was one that you shared for him, so you noticed these things. Made a habit of it.

“I know,” you said, nodding, “But that icepack did the trick in bringing the swelling down- look.”

You reached down and grabbed his hand, bringing it up to rest on your face. You knew it wouldn’t hurt. His touch was so hesitant around you, always worried to overstep a mark that you wanted him to leap over. Now, seeing him care about you made you bolder than you had been with him in the years you’d loved him.

You’d realised you loved him, actually, really loved him about two years ago. It had been three for him. Two beings hopelessly devoted to one another, yet kept apart by paralysing fear. You were kind of over it.

You leaned into his hand, but he was the one who closed his eyes and relished in the touch.

“You took care of me,” you whispered into the relative darkness of his office, lit only by the soft glow of the overhead lamp, “See?”

He shook his head with a gulp.

“Shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place.”

“What could you have done?” you asked, smiling, “Slapped my mother first?”

He cracked a smile at that and his chuckles joined your own giggles in a few seconds.

“I wouldn’t have done that,” he insisted and brought his other hand up to cup your other cheek in an act of boldness spurred on by your own. Perhaps he was tired of not just being with you too. God, you hoped so, “You looked so...ashamed afterwards and you had nothing to be ashamed about. All I- all I wanted to do was take you in my arms and take you away from there.”

He’d never spoken like this before. You basked in his words, enjoying the pleasant tingling that had erupted down your spine. You were feeling lightheaded again, but this time you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“A nice thought,” you hummed, “I think I could get used to being in your arms.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I think so,” you were breathless as you leaned closer to him, because now you’d had some of him it would never be enough. You needed it all. You needed every bit of him, because now you knew it could be yours if he said it. You needed him to say it.

“You wanna know something?”

“I really, really do.”

You were getting closer with every word. Breathier with every passing second.

“I’ve loved you for years,” his lips brushed against yours as he whispered the key to his soul, “And nothing hurts me more than seeing you in pain.”

You closed your eyes and brushed your lips against his again, fleeting, a promise.

“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” you gave him your soul in return, because it was the fair thing to do, after all.

He pressed his lips against yours properly, for the first time. All at once, the world tilted and you had found a new course for the future, one where you hoped Hotch - Aaron, as you moaned when he began a path of kisses along your jaw - would keep kissing you like this for a lifetime.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fluff #hotch x reader #hotch

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five-rivers · 4 years ago

Text

Long Night in the Valley chapter 7

Oof, this chapter kept getting longer.

It was times like this that really drove home the fact that Eri had been raised by yakuza.

Normally, it was easy to forget. Eri was an angel, almost too well behaved at times, and Mirio loved spending time with her. Being asked to look after her while her foster parents were away was a privilege, not a chore.

Right now, though?

Now, Eri was in the middle of total meltdown and screaming threats at the news anchor who had just… reported something totally unbelievable and, if he was being honest, incredibly aggravating, even for him.

Mirio hoped Eri didn’t know the meanings of half the words she was shouting but, Chisaki Kai being the utter horror that he was, she’d probably seen at least some of them done to people in front of her.

Once again, Mirio was filled with the totally reasonable, if unheroic, desire to punch Chisaki until his legs came off like his arms did. As this was not, in the moment, a helpful impulse, he pushed it aside.

“I’m gonna kill you!” screamed Eri, throwing another marker at the TV screen, tears streaming down her face and horn sparking dangerously.

On one hand, it was great that Eri felt safe enough here at UA and around Mirio to have this outburst. On the other, Mirio really, really did not want to get de-aged out of existence.

It would be really great to have his quirk right now. Or Tamaki. If only he and Hado hadn’t been at their internships today, maybe they could have solved this together.

He was currently alternating between trying to verbally calm Eri down and serially dialing every teacher involved in Eri’s care.

Aizawa-sensei’s phone just rang and rang.

Yamada-sensei’s went straight to a completely unhelpful voicemail.

Kayama-sensei’s went to an even less helpful voicemail that also had the side-effect of making Mirio feel incredibly embarrassed.

All Might-sensei was supposedly “kidnapped.”

Recovery Girl had her ‘medical emergency’ message on.

This left a single, terrifying recourse.

Nezu.

With shaking hands, he pressed the call button and prepared to pray to the Rat God.

“Hi, Principal Nezu!” he said, loudly and brightly as soon as he heard the phone pick up.

“Hello, Togata-kun! I take it that Eri-chan has seen the news?”

“I’m going to tear out your eyes and sew them to your a—”

Hoooo, boy.

“Yeah,” said Mirio, “and she’s not taking it well. I’m really sorry, but I need help.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for!” chirped Nezu. “Knowing when to call for backup is something we try to instill in all our students. I’ll be over right away.”

There was a beep as the line went dead. Mirio put his phone back in his pocket and winced as Eri took a deep breath and let out another round of invective.

“Eri,” he said, deciding to make one more attempt to calm her down before Nezu came, “don’t you think that’s a bit much? She’s probably only saying what she’s been told.”

Eri whirled, incensed. “But that’sa lie! Deku isn’t a villain!”

“I know, but—”

“It’s the news!” she said, stomping her foot. “They’re not supposed to say things that aren’t true! That’s what Yagi-san says!”

“She might not know it isn’t true,” said Mirio, smiling consolingly (he knew this particular smile was consoling, because he’d practiced extensively). “Sometimes, people believe lies. Even good people.”

This was something Eri knew well, so Mirio hoped this reasoning got through to her.

It did not.

“But,” said Eri, incredulously, “it’s Deku.”

Mirio agreed with that sentiment, he really did. But the sheer level of fury currently concentrated into Eri’s tiny body was too much for him to handle.

Still, she seemed to be thinking instead of yelling or crying, so that was good.

“I’m going to bite them,” she said, dreadfully calm.

“Who?” asked Mirio, dreading the answer and knowing the storm had only stopped momentarily.

“The people who come to interrogate me,” said Eri, as if it were a given that she’d be interrogated. He was impressed she knew the word, right up until how she must have known it hit him.

“Why are you going to bite them?”

“Deku said that if a stranger tried to make me go with them or do something I didn’t want I should bite them and scream. And also…” She proceeded to describe a series of actions that would probably have the average assailant lying on the ground in a fetal position, defeated. “And you, and Amajiki-san, and Hado-san said I should…” Mirio vaguely recalled being consulted for and contributing certain portions of this but combined with Midoriya’s contributions and Eri’s anger it became significantly more sinister. “And ‘Zawa agreed and he told me I should…” Ah. That was worse. Much worse. And knowing Aizawa, he’d probably taught her how to do at least some of it.

Mirio abruptly realized that, out of all the people Eri knew, he was most likely the second sanest. He, as a person who saw no issue with appearing nude on national television multiple times, was not used to having such a position.

If the commission were wise, they wouldn’t send any of their people anywhere near Eri. They’d die.

The door burst open. “Am I a dog, a mouse, or a bear? One thing’s for sure, I’m the principal!”

Mirio now understood why Tamaki spent so much time hiding in corners.

His students screamed alongside him as he fell. He twisted, surprised and uncontrolled, in the air, flashes of skyscraper windows passing in and out of his vision. Above him, the woman, Nana, stood on the air, looking down.

Uraraka had reflexively stopped herself fairly quickly with her quirk, but she was now too far away to reach himself, Iida, or Todoroki. Todoroki was trying to copy one of his father’s moves and fly with the flames produced by his left side, but obviously trying to do something like that with no practice wasn’t going to work well.

Suzuki was there, too, but Aizawa’s first responsibility was to his kids, not the idiot that got them into this mess.

He swung his capture weapon upwards, trying to reach Uraraka, but the tumbling threw his aim off.

Green lightning flashed in the corner of his eye, and he found himself wrapped in black tentacles and moving sideways at great speed. They crashed through one of the windows into an oddly blurry and muted office space.

Midoriya released Aizawa and set down his classmates carefully. “Can you get Ochako down? Blackwhip is still… difficult.”

Aizawa looked Midoriya over quickly. He was wearing his hero costume. It had the same tears in it as it did after the aerial battle with Chisaki Kai.

There was a pattern here.

He nodded and walked to the window. Now that they were no longer falling, his aim was true, and Uraraka, who had been inching closer by deactivating then reactivating her quirk, caught the end of the capture weapon easily. He reeled her in.

“Izuku!” she said bouncing over to him and hugging him. “You’re okay!”

“Haha,” said Midoriya, “yep.”

“You let Suzuki fall,” said Aizawa, who had been contemplating much the same thing.

“I would have done something different,” said Midoriya, “but it wasn’t entirely up to me. Nana would just drop him again. It’s a dream, besides. Worst that will happen is that he’ll wake up and then we can use that to wake you guys up.” He turned away. “Come on, Six is this way.”

“Six, not seven?”

“Nana’s taking care of,” he waved his hand in the direction of the broken window, “that.”

Uraraka glanced that way. “I wasn’t sure before, but that’s Skyrunner, isn’t it? I didn’t think she was still alive.”

“She isn’t,” said Midoriya, shortly, before beginning to stride across the room. “We really don’t have time to stand around. Six will explain things better than me.”

“Who’s Skyrunner?” asked Todoroki.

Aizawa kept his eyes on Midoriya. He seemed distracted, his movements were lower energy than usual, as if his mind was miles away.

“She was a hero ages ago. She’d be in her eighties, I think, but that was her. I found her when I was doing research on quirks similar to mine.”

“They aren’t really the same,” said Midoriya. “Float is an at-will telekinetic type quirk with a personal range. Yours is a five-point touch physical property alteration quirk.”

“Application-wise,” said Uraraka. “But how can we be in her head if she’s dead? You said before, we were in All Might’s head, so…”

“Wait, what?” How the heck were they supposed to have gotten into Yagi’s head? Was this something Midoriya’s dreaming subconscious came up with? Or was there a massive problem about to smack him in the face as soon as he woke up?

More massive than the Hero Commission feeling justified in running a quirk-assisted interrogation on a minor. A minor who was unconscious and may have been moved to another facility, away from any adults who might be on their side.

Midoriya had stopped to lean against a doorway, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m not completely here. I can’t—I’m busy, it’s hard to process.”

“Busy doing what?” asked Todoroki.

“Being awake,” said Midoriya.

“You’re awake?” repeated Aizawa.

“Halfway. It’s just—Unexpected quirk interaction. When I was shot—” He broke off and shuddered. “Six will be able to explain it better. I’m on the run, sensei, I’m sorry.”

“You’re awake and on the run from the Hero Commission.”

“Mhm,” said Midoriya. “Six will explain. Probably. I haven’t directly met Six yet.”

There were so many concerning things about that statement that Aizawa didn’t know where to start. Midoriya pushed off the doorway and kept walking.

“We need a contact point,” he said, “so we can cross over to Six. I don’t know where they’d be for Nana and Six, though.”

As they walked, the building slowly changed from a generic office space to something that, at least to Aizawa, resembled a hero agency. An old, dated hero agency.

“Does this have something to do with ‘first contact?’”

“It doesn’t need to be first contact,” said Midoriya, waving over his shoulder. “Just contact. The rules are weird, apparently? I think they’re different, normally. I’m not sure where to go…”

“I’ll show you.”

Aizawa was incredibly tired of people showing up out of nowhere. And Nana really had shown up out of nowhere, suddenly materializing in the hallway, not even having the courtesy to step out of a doorway or from around a corner and pretend this world operated on anything approaching hard and fast rules.

“Hey, hey,” said Nana, “you guys are all really tense, aren’t you?”

“You did drop us from fifty stories up.”

“Haha, yeah, I did,” said Nana, grinning and ruffling Midoriya’s hair. “I’m still dropping that jerkface back there. Hopefully, he’ll decide to nope out before too long and we can get the rest of you out of here without the whole Journey to the West reenactment.”

Midoriya squinted up at her, listing slightly to one side. “Every time you use slang it’s so weird.”

“Come on, kid, I’m not that old.” She sighed. “I’d give you Float now, but given present circumstances, you’ll probably want Six’s or Two’s.”

Midoriya straightened—And was it just Aizawa or did his outline become clearer?

“You can do that?” he asked. He brought his hand up to his chin, index finger resting beneath his lower lip. “It could be possible, depending on the mechanism,” he mumbled. “But then would getting out be…? No, it can’t be something like that, or it wouldn’t even be mentioned, and it didn’t work with Suzuki… But it’s worth testing—Aizawa-sensei, can you use your quirk on Todoroki? Todoroki, think really hard about waking up while you do it.”

They tried this. Nothing happened, other than Todoroki not being able to use his quirk. Aizawa had the sinking suspicion that this conversation was about Midoriya’s quirk gaining yet another, bizarre manifestation. Did his quirk have something to do with split personalities? Loading other peoples’ personalities and quirks into his head?

“It isn’t that, then,” said Midoriya. “Saito’s quirk could still have a mechanism like that.”

“Or it could be the interaction between your quirk and hers,” said Nana.

Midoriya was silent for a moment. “I guess,” he said finally. “But we have to test—”

“We don’t want to overload you. Like I said, I think you’ll want Six’s or Two’s more than mine. Or even Four’s.”

Midoriya shook his head. “No, considering what we’re up against, Float would be very useful. Can we try?”

Nana nodded, put her hands on his shoulders, and bent at the waist to whisper something in Midoriya’s ear. The room briefly flickered into sky, a sunset or sunrise throwing brilliant color from horizon to horizon. The sound of wings presaged a flock of birds. Aizawa braced for a fall. Nana stood back up. The room returned. “Did you get it?”

Aizawa checked to make sure all of his (shaken) students were still there.

“I think so,” said Midoriya. He took a deep breath. “Yes. I have it.” He looked back at Aizawa. “I’m sorry, I really have to go, now.”

Aizawa was also getting really tired of people disappearing, he decided.

Nana sighed. “Anyway, come on, we have to get going.”

They all looked to Aizawa before following. Aizawa sighed. They didn’t have any other leads on what to do, and if they didn’t, they might get dragged along anyway. “Might as well,” he said. “This had better be a great explanation. And I’d like it before we get to this ‘Six.’”

“Yes,” said Todoroki. “Does Midoriya have multiple personality disorder?”

“It’s Dissociative Identity Disorder, and no,” said Nana. “Not as such. For now… We’re part of Nine’s—Izuku’s—quirk.”

“Funnily enough, I had put that together. Why you?”

“I used to ask myself that, you know. Six is the one who can answer. In the meantime… consider this a quirk history field trip. Here we are.” They stepped into a conference room, a projector springing to life along with the faint murmur of phantom voices. “I was just a sidekick back then,” she said. “Not his, though. It’s funny. Toshinori was mine, you know. Before his debut. He didn’t even go by All Might back then.” The room glitched.

Aizawa managed to get the impression of a surreal, almost Lovecraftian, landscape, rubble, and the words ‘You’re next.’

Aizawa could have gone his entire life without knowing that All Might had cribbed his last words as a hero from his teacher.

Nana laughed. “To be fair,” she said, patting his arm (patting his arm), “he’s not the only one. Come on, I want you four worlds away from Suzuki. Let’s get this show on the road.”

The lighting in the room shifted, and it filled with ghosts much like in Izuku’s school. Another, younger, version of Nana sat among them, looking up at the projector.

The underground hero Fidelity is here today to discuss a possible smuggling ring based out of Musutafu…

As the young man walked in, the whispers arrived… But there seemed to be fewer whisperers.

First contact.

Izuku managed to levitate a centimeter off the ground before settling himself again. Enough not to be noticed by anyone but Toshinori.

Toshinori who was close to tears. Izuku blinked back a few of his own.

This was good. With Float and the right planning, they could possibly break their trail even without the more complicated maze-path he and Toshinori had planned out. Some of the words in Trace’s file seemed to indicate her quirk only worked over solid objects, and she didn’t work with the Coast Guard, even though her quirk would, otherwise, be quite useful there. The conclusion couldn’t be trusted, of course, but if he could manage to stay floating, and get Toshinori to float as well, it would be well worth it.

He almost laughed at himself. Mastering a quirk in so little time, worth it.

“If anyone could do it,” said Toshinori, “it would be you, my boy.”

Izuku’s heart filled with warmth as the others agreed. He could almost feel Nana ruffle his hair again.

In theory, the plan to acquire the keys to the testing center’s off-limits areas was very simple.

In practice… It was also very simple, shockingly enough. Maybe it was because the human explosive and the deceptively destructive sunshine child weren’t involved. No, that couldn’t be it.

Hitoshi walked up to a security guard, said excuse me, used his quirk, and asked for the keys. Then he handed them to Yaoyorozu so she could make copies. She gave the guard back the keys, and Hitoshi told the guard to forget him. That order didn’t always work, but they weren’t having the guard move, and the whole operation had taken under five minutes. There wasn’t much to remember in the first place.

“What now?” asked Hitoshi.

“Now,” said Yaoyorozu, making more copies of keys. “We get lost.”

The benefit to having a blunt and straightforward demeanor was that people rarely thought Tsuyu was lying.

Well. The UA uniform helped, too. Even among heroes, UA was known to take only the best of the best. The most trustworthy.

“Excuse me, kero,” Tsuyu said, sidling up to a young hero in civilian clothing. “I was told to tell everyone to go into the back—They want us to spread out, for when the police arrive to question us? The doors are already unlocked.” She pointed. “But our teachers have come to pick us up, and we’re going with them, so can you help?”

“Oh, of course. That’s what heroes do, right?” Bubble Girl shot her a pair of finger guns. “Hey, you’re one of Deku-kun’s friends, right? This is so weird. Have you seen the news?”

“Yes, kero.”

“Sorry, sorry, I know that’s probably not something you want to talk about. I hope everything works out for him.”

So did Tsuyu.

The plan to flood the relatively empty back hallways with people and unleash a dance of chaos the Hero Commission, false warriors of light, could not hope to contain, went… Interestingly, in Fumikage’s opinion.

There were several different entrances to the back that people were directed to, and, predictably, some of them were turned back, even though they had unlocked the doors. There were commission people back there, albeit relatively few of them.

The class slipped in among the others. He led the way, as the sneakiest person after Hagakure. Well. Sort of.

It was hard to figure out who was in the lead with all these people everywhere.

Plus, he got… Ahem.

He was swept away on the tide of darkness, with no beacon to guide his way.

Dark Shadow cackled in his ear. “Just admit you’re lost, Fumi,” she said.

“I am not!” he hissed back.

“Besides there are fire escape maps over there.”

Oh, that was helpful.

When Chiyo woke up this morning, she had not expected to face the fact that Toshinori had finally lost his mind, and the entirely baseless accusation that Midoriya of all people had kidnapped him (the reverse was much more likely, in her opinion). And yet.

When Chiyo had been asked to organize and accompany the fleet of ambulances to pick up their unconscious students and staff members (something she had done many times) she had not expected to be point blank refused by the Hero Commission. And yet.

When Hizashi and Nemuri had asked the fleet to pull around to the back of the testing center, near a loading dock ‘to make room for other traffic,’ she had not expected her coworkers and eleven students to slam up the rolling overhead door of the loading dock and run out at full tilt while carrying ten unconscious bodies.

And yet.

Maybe, after everything, she should have.

She grabbed the radio from the dash and started rolling down the window. “Open the doors!”

The students knew what they were doing, at least with regards to casualty transport. They should. They’d passed the licensing test. Hizashi and Nemuri had better hope this nonsense didn’t get any of those licenses stripped, or, oh, she’d have words with them.

“Hey!” shouted a hero with a prominent commission badge pinned to his costume. He extended his arm and delicate rays of light shot forth. He was aiming mostly at Hizashi and Nemuri. Typical. One of the rays of light hit Hizashi’s heel, and his shoe turned to stone, causing him to stumble.

Chiyo calmly stuck the end of her syringe-shaped cane out the window and depressed the well-hidden trigger. A small sedative filled dart his the hero in the neck, where he was not protected by his costume. He dropped.

One or two of the students did a double take. Chiyo rolled her eyes.

Really. She was a licensed Pro Hero. Pros had to be able to act, regardless of how many of their expectations were being subverted.

The students could stand to learn that.

Large public TV screen at the intersection caught Izuku’s attention, despite how he was keeping his gaze on his feet, the better to monitor his use of Float.

But, then, Izuku had practically trained himself to notice any screen with All Might on it. That this one also had his picture on it was just frosting on the cake.

They’re moving fast.

Of course they are. We’re a threat.

We weren’t!

We’ve always been. Do you remember—?

They aren’t putting quirk users into concentration camps.

No, just training camps.

Not the time. We’ll have to deal with the Hawks problem later.

… We were hoping for more time.

“The Hawks problem?” asked Toshinori.

“I have no idea,” said Izuku. “Come on, we have to keep going.”

Trace was very good at what she did, and Hawks was genuinely hoping that she would be the one to find Midoriya and All Might, not him. He didn’t want to be responsible for what was going to happen to the kid, spy or no. He didn’t want to get on All Might’s bad side, either, retired or not.

Really. The commission should have taken the hint when All Might left of his own accord. Hawks didn’t know how he’d found out about the commission’s plan to psychically interrogate Midoriya, but obviously he did. And he objected. Strenuously.

It might have been better for him to go public, though, rather than spirit the kid away.

On the other hand… It had only been a couple hours at this point. Maybe he hadn’t had the chance. Getting the kid out of commission hands might have been his priority, depending on how much he heard.

What Hawks had heard… Yeah. Not great. One guy in particular had seemed overly enthusiastic about Midoriya’s possible rehabilitation.

He sighed and took off his goggles, so he had a better view of the city below him. Hawks had lucked out in the color receptor department. Like most birds, he had four, as opposed to the baseline human three. If anyone could pick out Midoriya’s green mop and All Might’s eye-watering blonde in these crowds, it would be him.

And if they had changed their appearances?

Well. Their heights were distinctive enough on their own, especially when paired.

Hawks genuinely hoped Trace would find them first. But he wasn’t counting on it.

Well. This was far from the worst thing the commission had asked him to do.

Samson and Delilah were a relatively new duo. Samson had a gorilla mutation. Delilah had a ‘conditional status ailment’ quirk that doubled as a boost to herself. Kind of annoying to activate, though, honestly. Who else had a quirk that made them eat hair?

Anyway, this was their first assignment from the commission. All they had to do was pick up a potential witness.

“Or colluder,” said Samson.

“Come on, have you seen her face?” Delilah gestured with the photo in her hand.

“She’s his mother. Mothers know everything.”

“Your mom, maybe,” said Delilah. “I think this is it.” She checked the door number. Yep. “You knock.”

Samson’s knock was loud and intimidating. It got no response.

“Again?” suggested Delilah.

But no matter how many times Samson knocked, he would get no answer. Midoriya Inko was not home.

Inko checked the piece of paper with Dr. Tsubasa’s current address on it again. Hisashi had always told her that if anything happened, and he couldn’t be there, she should go to Dr. Tsubasa. She never had. The wound he had given her son when he was five had never completely faded, and she couldn’t help but hate him for that.

But Hisashi wasn’t picking up his phone, and this, this was bigger than she could hope to deal with.

Dr. Tsubasa had better be able to. Or else.

(Inko did not know if the ‘or else’ was for herself, Izuku, Hisashi, or Dr. Tsubasa himself, but it was most certainly there.)

(Incidentally, Hisashi was going to get a lot of ‘else’ from her regardless, for not picking up his phone.)

Once, when he was young and stupid, Tomura had thought of life as a single-player game. First person. A shooter, maybe. First person RPG.

Before he’d turned twenty, though, he’d realized that to get anywhere, he’d need a party. Obviously, he was still the only player, other than Sensei, and Sensei didn’t count. Sensei was different. Everyone else was NPCs. Interesting ones, maybe. But just look at Twice! He could turn everyone into infinitely respawning mobs. As things were meant to be.

But the USJ, Hosu, and everything that happened that summer had taught him better. This was a co-op, and when someone got a permanent game over, when they were logged off forever… It made something burn inside him because those were his party members.

He’d found Magne annoying. But when she declared herself everyone’s big sis…

Even so, he’d hung on to the notion that they were fighting the CPU. No intelligence on the other side. Just violence, power, and an assortment of unfair, programmed-in cheat codes.

This, too, was a false impression of the world. This revelation hadn’t come as quickly as the last. In fact, if he were to be honest with himself (a despicable practice) he’d have to admit the realization had been building, percolating, since the USJ. It was something he’d acknowledged, even, although he hadn’t realized it at the time.

This game had a Player 2. And the noob had just finished the tutorial.

He smiled wide enough to make his lips crack and sting in the dusty air of the current hideout. The pinging news alerts on his phone faded into the background as he made his plans.

Tomura was supposed to be following the main questline, gathering party members, and powering up, but what was multiplayer without griefing? What was an open sandbox without distractions?

“Hey, guys,” said Tomura, lazily, not even looking over his shoulder. “You up for a side quest?”

#long night in the valley #bnha #boku no hero academia #fic #my fic

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simpsiren · 4 years ago

Text

dong sicheng x reader, ft, taeyong

“Your brain works like a computer, like clockwork. Yet you just can’t think straight because you’re thinking of her, right?”

description. I watched in pain as my best friend whom I liked for ages become delusional of my feelings and fall in love with another girl. I never told my feelings for him, and I never will. Little did I know that he felt the same as well. The feelings that took him so long to realise, now with hope that it wouldn’t be too late.

genre. aNgsT, fluff, friends au, unrequited love au

warnings. sad but also not a sad ending. depends how you look at it cudndjdn

word count. 9.2k~

a/n. do yall ever feel emo and suddenly want to write a sad ff? yes this is one of those times. i actually never wrote a ff where it was eXtrEmElY sad but oh wells let’s put you on an emotional roller coaster ride while you read this HAHA enjoy!

Dong Sicheng. Winwin as his nickname and what everyone, teachers and students, call him by. He’s smart, kind, sweet, and appearance wise you can never say no to that beautiful face. He’s an all rounder perfect student that everyone adores and admires. He’s extremely friendly, being able to socialise with everyone in the hallways right off the bat. I can confirm in my three years of high school that no one has never disliked him before.

The only thing that everyone dislike though is the fact that I’m his best friend. The only one that calls him by his real name, the one that can get close to him in terms of physical touch, and just have him by my side almost all the time. I received hate for being his best friend since they think he deserves better. But at this point, I really couldn’t care less, opting to stay quiet and accept the harsh words thrown at me with zero care for the world.

Since those insults are given to me when I’m away from Winwin, I never told him about what happens outside of his sight since I didn’t want him to be concerned for me and have him worry over a small matter. Things like this in high school are what I consider childish, which is why I try my best to ignore it as much as possible.

“Here. Another box of cookies and perfume. Also, a ton of love letters.” I said lazily, tossing the bag of gifts to Winwin’s lap and taking the seat beside him with a groan. I hated it when girls asked me to pass their gifts to Winwin because they’re too shy to do it themselves. It’s not like I’m some delivery girl in charge of taking care of their gifts. But I got used to it. Not sure if that’s exactly a good thing or not.

“You can have the cookies.” Winwin took out the box of cookies and handed it over to me. I took it and scoffed in amusement. “The price for the ingredients to make regular cookies is way more cheaper than buying it from wherever she got this.” I inspected the box and the cookies inside, noticing how expensive it looked with the decorations.

Regardless, I opened the box and picked up a cookie to take a bite. “Okay well it tastes good.” I said in defeat. Winwin wasted no time to grab a cookie and try it, instantly humming dreamily. “Oh wow it’s actual good.” Winwin moaned out as he finishes the cookie in his mouth.

“Being the school’s most adored student couldn’t get any more better, huh?” I reached into the bag of gifts and took out a random letter, twirling it around in my hand as I observed the aesthetics of it.

Winwin huffed, leaning back into the seat. “It’s tiring. I’m only down for the free food. And perfumes.” Winwin takes out the perfume, which I could already tell from its packaging that it was an expensive one. He unboxes it and squirts once to smell the fragrance in the air. He shrugged and shook his head. “Expected better. I’ll just sell this.”

I chuckled at his reaction, sniffing the scent that was in the air and nodding in agreement. “By the way...” Winwin suddenly started. I noticed his change in behaviour. He’s acting all shy and somewhat embarrassed, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers and feet. I raised at eyebrow at his unexpected mood change.

“You know the new student that got transferred four months ago?” I clicked my tongue and nodded. “Haeun, right? What about her?” I asked, though I wasn’t fully concentrated on the conversation because I couldn’t stop shoving the cookies into my mouth and admiring it’s savoury taste.

“Would it be weird to say I like her?”

I froze in my spot, a cookie halfway into my mouth as I tilted my head up from the cookies to look at Winwin. Though he was looking down to his feet, I could tell he was smiling to himself like an idiot and blushing intensively.

I knew where this was going. And I didn’t like it. It hurts my heart, like a needle constantly jabbing into my heart as the question that Winwin asked resonates in my head. Not receiving a reply, Winwin called out to me, making me shake my head and blinking my eyes rapidly to snap myself out of my thoughts.

“Um well, how’s she like?” I asked hesitantly. Why was I dumb enough to ask this? I’ll only be hurting myself more with the answer Winwin was about to give.

“She’s a badass. She’s strong, and she knows how to stand up to the students that bully her. I admire her a lot because she’s fearless. The way she can even fight back to the teacher and actually having valid arguments. She’s not like anyone else here.”

Of course she isn’t. She not at all like me either. I took a deep breath, knowing I’ve done a great job at stabbing myself in the back as I lump filled my throat, once again unable to give a single reaction of sentence. “You okay? You seem worked up suddenly.” Winwin suddenly got closer and I quickly inched back.

I felt my body getting tensed up as my face gave a blank expression. I wasn’t sure what to feel. Anger, sadness, heart fluttering due to Winwin’s small action of getting close to my face. Maybe all three.

“You do remember what happened the other times you have liked a girl, right? You know they didn’t end well. I don’t see why you’re still trying.”

That, was the only excuse I could come up with to have Winwin not having any interest in other girls. Before high school, he’s liked plenty of girls. But they’ve all rejected him, causing him to come to me for comfort. It hurt my heart, seeing that I’m the one that has to watch him go through a heartbreak and being the hopeless romantic he was. It also pained me in a way that I couldn’t describe.

If only you were mine, you wouldn’t have gone through any of that.

“What if someone else liked you? What would you do?” Winwin tilted his head upwards with a finger on his chin for a moment as he stopped to think. He had an unreadable expression on his face, only making me wonder what he would reply.

“Depends on who.” Winwin simply replied.

“What if that someone is really close to you?” His forehead creased with raised brows, probably either curious as to why I’m asking such questions or trying to figure out where this conversation is heading.

“The only ones I’m close to are you and Yuta.” A few seconds later, Winwin gaped his mouth open and covered it with the palm of his hand, letting out a shocking gasp. “Is Yuta gay?!” Winwin burst out laughing crazily, smacking his thigh as he had a hand on his stomach.

I could only sit there with an unamused face. I glanced sideways and forced a smile. A simpered smile that would best hide what I truly felt. I rose from my seat with the box of cookies in hand. “I meant the other person, Dong Sicheng.” I looked straight into his eyes with a face of seriousness. Though I doubt Winwin understood what I meant by that.

Not being able to handle this any longer, I walked away, despite Winwin calling out my name multiple times. I walked till I hid behind a wall where it was out of Winwim’s sight, beginning to slide my back down the wall till I hit the ground, my eyes starting to get flooded with tears till they finally stream down my face. I brought my knees close to my chest with the box of cookis in between and hiding my face with my arms.

How long do I have to keep this up? How long do I have to wait till Winwin realises my feelings for him? All this time while he went through constant heartbreaks, I was the only one there for him. Me. I had to watch him cry days on end all because of a girl who doesn’t even mean much.

And now I have to watch him go through it again. But I can’t stop him. It’s his feelings. Despite my constant share of concerns for him, he never seemed to stop being the stupid one in love. Dong Sicheng was, and always will be, a hopeless romantic.

But in a way, I was as well. Not being able to let go of my feelings for him that has kept me tied down for so long. I liked him for years and I knew my love was more than what the girls he liked before could offer. If only he could just see that. But waiting for that moment slowly began to get tiring.

I wondered where Winwin has gone to as I laid on the living room couch with my phone held in the air showing Winwin’s contact on the screen. I contemplated on whether I should call him or not.

There have been days where Winwin would come back to our apartment late, but it’s either because he had family events (which happens quite often in Winwin’s case) or just an outing with Yuta. But I would have known the reason either way since he’d always update me whenever he went. It felt out of place to not know where he was and it made me a little worried.

As I was about to press on the call button, I heard the front door open. Lifting my head from the couch, I turned around and saw Winwin taking off his shoes and walking in. “Where the heck have you been, you dork?!” I shouted, throwing a pillow from under my head.

He got hit by it, resulting him to frown and let out a wince due to his overreacting nature. “Chill I just went out of Haeun, alright?” Winwin picked up the pillow from the ground and tossed it back to me.

I didn’t even bother asking why he went out with her. I didn’t want to hear about it either, knowing that my emotional feelings for him that I’ve tried to hide for so long will start to flare up. Regardless, Winwin ran over to me and pushed my legs off fhe couch to give him space to sit. I groaned at his act and sat up straight.

“Today was so fun! I went to the amusement park with Haeun and holy shit was she good at winning games but I wasn’t able to win any for her and I felt bad so we...”

As Winwin rambled on about his amazingly perfect night out with Haeun, I spaced out and could only think about what I have to deal with once Haeun leaves Winwin again. Though now I’m starting to doubt that because well, who wouldn’t want Winwin? He had a major glow up from elementary school to high school anyways.

But now my mind has wondered off to the possibility that I might actually lose Winwin once he gets together with her. And how the feelings that I’ve kept solely for him would go to waste and my times of waiting on him would mean nothing.

“Good that you had fun. I’ll go to bed now.” I said in monotoned manner when Winwin finally stopped talking.

“Oh um okay... goodnight. Sleep tight. Dream of me, alright?” He probably noticed my sudden change in attitude but didn’t bother asking, and instead tried to lighten the mood with a little joke.

“I always dream of you.” I mumbled under my breath as I walked away and entered my room.

Little did I know, my soft mumble wasn’t as soft as it seemed.

“Why did she sound serious when she said that?” Winwin asked himself as he sat there in silence. He started to think about her weird behaviour these days. Especially whenever he brought up about Haeun. Was there something wrong with talking about Haeun? Why did she look like all the energy was drained out of her whenever he spoke Haeun’s name?

Winwin’s deep thoughts got cut off when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out to see a notification from Haeun asking if they should go out more often. He didn’t bother to reply as his mind was only filled with his best friend, deeply concerned but also anxious.

“What am I feeling right now?”

Yuta and I decided to eat lunch together since Winwin’s chemistry teacher held his class back for a reason that he never specified.

Our conversation was going well till somehow our topic swerved into talking about Winwin.

“I heard Winwin’s going out with Haeun more often, and ditching you too.” Yuta suddenly mentioned, taking a sip of his lemon tea.

I suspired and nodded my head. “Yeah well, I’m not too happy about that.” I swirled my straw in my drink, getting mesmerised at the sight. “Of course you don’t. You like him.”

My eyes immediately shot up to Yuta’s, narrowing my eyes in an intimidating manner as I whispered, “Don’t mention it, please. It already hurts enough that it’s a fact.” I said, my eyes softening right after as I frowned.

“You still aren’t giving me a proper answer as to why you can’t tell him.” Yuta bobbed his shoulders, adjusting his blazer. “I told you time and time again.”

I groaned, covering my eyes with a hand. “He’s my best friend. You know how weird it’ll be if we have feelings for each other. Secondly, even if he does like me back, how will things turn out between us if we argue or something? It’s worse for you because you’re friends with the both of us.” I explained, making random hand gestures like you would do in a presentation.

“But still. It’s important to be friends before lovers. Better yet best friends to lovers. You’re basically saying that a male and female can’t be friends without one of them falling in love. Well. I mean you fell in love but-”

“But what, huh?”

Yuta let out a deep sigh before leaning in, resting his chin on his hands with his fingers interlocked together. “But that doesn’t explain you and me. We’re friends but we’ve never fell in love.” Yuta gave a cheeky smile. I growled and smacked his forehead, hard. “What it’s the truth! Anyways, if you aren’t going to anything about Sicheng, I will.”

As soon as he said those words, I wasted no time to loom over the table to grab him by the collar. “Do anything, and you’ll get brutally killed.”

Yuta simpered, knowing he fucked up as he laughed in fear. “W-with what?” Yuta asked hesitantly. I slowly picked up the fork from my tray and raising it beside my head.

“This fork.” This time, Yuta laughed hysterically, removing my hand away from his collar and throwing me back down to me seat. I let out a huff, slamming the fork back on the plate. “Which body part do you want to hit with a fork, sweetie?” Yuta teased.

I threw him a sharp glare with a line appearing between my brows. “I’ll carve out your eyeballs first so you’ll never see the light of day.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, finding Yuta shaking in fear as he waved his hands in the air in defense. “Okay, okay. I’ll shut up. Jeez...”

“I just want him to realise my feelings himself. Have you seen what he’s gone through? I have to deal with his stupid feelings while I have to bear the fact that he won’t see me as anything more than a best friend. His delusional ass that I can’t stop falling for...” I continued.

“I’m more stupid in this situation than him if we’re going to be honest.”

Later that day, Yuta and I invited Winwin to go out and have dinner. We were waiting in front of the restaurant only to be greeted with Winwin and a somewhat unwanted guest.

“Oh! Haha it’s Haeun...” Yuta waved a hand to her. She greeted him back with a gentle smile that could possibly mesmerised anyone if she wanted to. Yuta took a quick glance at me. I was pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing. About how I’m not liking the fact that she’s here with Winwin. He brought his hand to my back and rubbed it gently as a sign of comfort.

Don’t get me wrong. I hold no hatred or grudge towards her. It’s just that I didn’t want to see Winwin with another girl. Clearly, I was jealous. I was just too weary of Winwin’s feelings and mine to own up to it.

“Let’s go in then?” She asked excitedly, looking up to Winwin as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. Winwin smiled back and patted her on the head. I was already not liking how physically close they were.

Little actions like patting the head, hugging, ruffling the hair. Those were all actions that only Winwin has ever done to me. He wouldn’t even be this close to the girls that he used to like. Seeing that he’s now becoming more open, it made me disappointed a lot more than it should due to the deep stupid meaning I hold of the little things he does.

Our conversations while we were eating were quite general. Most questions were about Haeun and getting to know her better. Well, more specifically it was Yuta since I’m pretty sure Winwin already knew a lot about her. As for me, I didn’t bother.

“You should try this. It’s delicious.” Haeun suddenly said, picking up a drumstick of the chicken that was just served to us and bringing it to Winwin’s mouth. Haeun placed a finger in Winwin’s chin to bring his head closer. With Winwin opening his mouth widely, Haeun feeds him with the most brightest smile.

“You’re so cute.” I heard Winwin whisper as he leaned down to Haeun’s ear. She giggled with glee and nudged him in the shoulder. It was obvious that she was liking it. Her blushing couldn’t get any more serious.

He hummed in satisfaction as he chewed on the chicken. “You should try it, too.” Winwin said, passing me a drumstick and putting it on my plate. I forced a smile, which turned out to me only giving a half-smile due to my effort of trying to hide my feelings slowly becoming drained.

Seeing how Yuta kept stealing glances at me, I could only assume that he knew what I was feeling when he suddenly said, “Actually it seems like she’s getting tired. I’ll see her off. You guys have fun.” Yuta swung an arm around my shoulder as the two of us stood up and grabbed our belongings before heading out and leaving the two to hang out by themselves.

“You didn’t have to do that...” I whispered, looking into my bag and checking if I left anything behind. Yuta shook his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I had to. It was hard to watch you die inside while they were being all lovey-dovey.” Yuta replied.

“Anyways, can you go home yourself?” I gaped my mouth and scoffed, glancing sideway before looking up to him with a raised brow. “You brought me out here but you can’t be a gentleman and send me home!?” I hissed.

“The food inside was actually good and I’m willing to finish whatever’s on my plate!” Yuta retorted with a cute pout as a way to persuade me to follow his way. With the unamused face I gave him, he huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

As though a lightbulb was suddenly lif above his head, he snapped his fingers and shouted, “Ahah!” making me flinch back at the sudden noise. “I’ll text Taeyong to drive you home on his motorbike.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, but shrugged in the end as I admitted it was a good idea. “Yeah sure. I find him cute.” I said plainly, which somehow earned me a weird look from Yuta.

“You called him cute?” Yuta asked in a way that told me that he was surprised. I nodded my head slowly, not sure about why he reacted that way but I was quick to figure it out. “Don’t be an idiot and assume I like him. Everyone finds him cute, okay? It’s like how fangirls call their idols cute all the time. It means nothing.” I said with a sigh.

Yuta’s surprised face slowly turned into a sinister one as his mouth formed a wide smirk. “Hey. Honestly speaking, if you can’t have Winwin, You should try Taeyong. He’s a good catch.” Yuta winked at me before looking down to this phone and texting Taeyong.

I smacked him in the arm, making him wince in pain but recovered in no time due to his endurace of me beating him up almost all the time. “You think my three years of affection for Winwin will just magically go away if I liked him? Don’t be ridiculous, will you?” I let out a ‘tsk’ as I threw him a death glare.

“You never know, sweetie.” Yuta breathed out, putting his phone away and getting close to me. “He’s coming in ten minutes so I’ll go now, okay? Text me when you get home.” Yuta gave a heartwarming smile as he reached both his hands out to rub my shoulders before bidding his last goodbye and going back in.

I scratched my head as I sat down at one of the benches near the entrance while I waited for Taeyong. I soon saw the motorbike that looked familiar since it was always parked at the parking lot at school, knowing it was him.

Taeyong stopped in front of me and lifted the shield of his helmet, revealing his face. He stepped down from his bike and headed to the trunk to take out a spare helmet. I walked up to him with a soft smile.

“Thanks for wanting to send me home. I would’ve gone myself.” I said as I took the helmet that Taeyong handed out to me. “It’s fine. I was pretty free and wanted to go out for a bit.” Taeyong smiled back with a light shrug.

“By the way...” I let out while adjusting my helmet. “Hm?” Taeyong asked.

“Can you take me to an ice cream shop? Any will do. I just need to eat something sweet right now.”

Taeyong got on his back and tapped the seat behind him to signal me to get on as he started up his motorbike. “Sure. I have a place in mind.”

I hopped on as I thought we were about to head off, Taeyong turned his head back to look at me. “You should place your hands on my shoulder. If it’s uncomfortable for you, just hold onto the handles beside you. Just... make sure you have something to grip on.”

I looked down to one of my sides to find the handle that Taeyong mentioned but there’s wasn’t any. I didn’t bother asking and made the quick decision if placing my hands on his shoulders to not keep him waiting. He finally puts down the shield of his helmet as we drove off.

Taeyong ended up taking me to an ice cream shop that was opened for twenty four hours. Which I was thankful for since it meant that there’s an ice cream shop I could go to at four in the morning in case I was in my feels one night.

I ordered two scoops of cookie dough while Taeyong ordered three scoops of cookies and cream. We had to sit at the roadside since the shop didn’t provide anywhere to sit. But I was fully fine with it since I wanted to feel the night air as well as look at the night sky.

We both ate in silence till I fed myself a bite and stuck my spoon into the ice cream, looking up to the sky and closing my eyes for moment.

“Are you on your period, perhaps?” Taeyong suddenly asked. I opened my eyes and tilted my head back down to look at him, shaking my head. “Why’d you think that?”

“I know that most girls have cravings that kick in at random times of the day during their periods. I also know girls crave sweet things too.” I chuckled at his response, nodding my head in agreement. “You’re right about the craving thing. But I’m not on my period.”

I paused for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. “It’s more of eating something sweet to wash down all the bitter feelings that build up in my throat.” I whispered, grabbing my spoon to take another bite.

Taeyong clicked his tongue and nodded his head slowly. “Do you mind me asking why? I-If it’s too personal you don’t have to-“

“What would you do if you liked a girl who’s your best friend for three years but she ended up liking someone else?” I cut him off, tilting my head to the side.

Taeyong looked up to stop and think. “I’ll probably do something to lose my feelings for her. I wouldn’t want to make myself suffer by keeping my feelings depite me knowing she won’t except it.”

“You know like move on. If I liked a girl for three years, I’ll probably take a long time to let go but maybe with the help of meeting new people and distancing myself away from her, I’ll eventually forget about her.” Taeyong added.

As I listened to his advice, I understood what he meant. Why do I burden myself with such feelings? It’s like I’ve been trapped in a cage due to the unrequited love I have for Winwin. Why make myself suffer any longer?

“That’s true... I probably should- I-I mean a friend asked me- Oh who am I kidding I’m asking you this for my sake.” I let out a sigh in defeat, stabbing my spoon into the ice cream before aggressively taking another bite.

“Let’s play some music. It’ll lighten the mood up a little.” Taeyong said with a warm smile, noticing my somber aura and wanting to do something about it.

He opened his phone as he scrolled through his playlist to find a song. “I really like this song so if I suddenly burst out dancing stupidly, don’t make fun of me.” I chuckled before nodding my head, eagerly as I was curious about the song he wanted to play. “I’m not judgy I promise.”

While the spoon that was filled with ice cream was being brough up to my lips, the song started playing and I quickly took a bite before swallong and gaping my mouth open as I instantly recognised the intro.

“Roses by Finn Askew?!” I asked with excitement. Taeyong nodded his head happily as he began to sing the lyrics, bringing his hands up and vibing to the music.

I laughed as I watched him sing and have fun. I decided to let go and sing as well, grooving my body as I finished my last spoon of ice cream.

Throughout the whole song, the two of us didn’t stop dancing in our seats. I constantly laughed at the weird movements and actions he did while we nodded our heads to the soothing music that we both loved.

Taeyong’s singing talent also shined through as he sang the song. I was definitely impressed by how much of a good singer he was. “I didn’t know you could sing like that, Taeyong.” I complimented as another song began to play in the background.

“It’s just a hidden talent most people don’t know. But I’m more to rapping.” Taeyong said with a shrug, placing his now empty cup beside him.

“Actually you’re one of the few people that know I rap.” Taeyong added.

I giggled in response. “I’m honoured to be one of the lucky few. Send me an audio of you rapping sometime. I’d love to hear it.” Taeyong chuckled lowly.

I quicly glance at my phone to check the time. I realised it was getting late and that I shouldn’t be out any longer. I looked at Taeyong, wanting to ask if he could take me home.

He turned to me and gave me a smile. A smile that I was suddenly to drawn into. The way his eyes formed a thin line as his lips curled up. He looked perfect and could make anyone swoon. He was cute.

“I know it’s getting late but can we just stay here a little while longer? I’m trying to savour this atmosphere.” I whispered.

Taeyong nodded and handed me his phone out of the blue. I raised an eyebrow at his sudden action. “Play any song you want. We can stay here as long as you want to.” Taeyong said in a gentle voice.

With that, I spent at least a few hours just sitting at the roadside with Taeyong as I swayed my head to peaceful songs that fit the mood. Taeyong was kind enough to let me play whatever song I liked even though I know there’s a few he wouldn’t know. Surprisingly, Taeyong and I had the same taste in music, which made us talk sbout our favourite artists etc.

I realised how quickly I got to know Taeyong. In a matter of a few hours, it felt like I instantly clicksd with him and I somehow felt as though I’ve known him for a long time. This feeling with Taeyong was refreshing and new. I liked it without a doubt.

Once we decided it was actually getting late, we called it a nighy and have Taeyong drive me home. When we arrived at my apartment, I got off and took off the helmet, passing it to Taeyong as he got off his motorbike as well to put the helmet back in the trunk.

“It was nice hanging out with you. I actually had fun for the first time in a long time.” I said after Taeyong closed the lid of the trunk and turned to me.

“Just call me if you need more ice cream.” Taeyong winked playfully. I took my phone out for him to put his number in. Once that was done, I stood in front of Taeyong, wanting to wait for him to drive off but he didn’t seem to move, leaning back against the motorbike.

“Aren’t you going to go?” I asked.

“I’m waiting for you to head inside so I know you got home safely.” Taeyong mentioned casually.

I chuckled and shook my head, nodding before making my way to the entrance. I turned around and flashed him one last smile and a small wave before heading in.

“Oi! Why the fuck are you home so late?! Did you know how worried I was?! Yuta told me Taeyong was going to send you home!” Damn, I just had to come home with Winwin shouting at me.

“I went out with him for a bit! And can you shut up it’s late at night and you’ll wake up the neighbours.”

I made my way to my room only to have Winwin following behind me and entering as well. “You shouldn’t be staying out late with a guy you barely know. Who knows what could happen to you?”

I took out my belongings from my sling bag and hung it behind my door, scoffing loudly.

“Oh so now you’re worrying? I bet you were out with Haeun and came home late as well.” I fought back.

“I came home earlier than you.”

“Taeyong is Yuta’s friend. And I do know him. So shut it and get out of my face. I’m tired.” I lashed out, pushing Winwin out of my room and slamming the door shut.

I plopped myself onto my bed as I took in the comfort of laying down on the most comfortable space I’ll ever know.

As I played with my phone, I suddenly got a text from an unknown number.

Unknown number: hey it’s Taeyong. you dont have to reply since i bet you’ll be sleeping by now but hope you made it home safely.

I let out an “Ah...” now knowing this was Taeyong’s number and saving it into my contacts.

Y/n: oMg chIlL i got home just fine thanks to you. hope you made it home safe as well

the ice cream man: i did, dont worry. i hope i got to get rid of any bitter feelings you had. goodnight :)

I left him on seen as I placed my phone screen down beside me and looked up the ceiling.

The night I spent with Taeyong somehow felt, magical. Like Cinderella at the ball. I had a lot of fun with him and I was able to let myself be free. Surprisingly, Winwin wasn’t on my mind for a second while I was with Taeyong. I only wished to continue being Cinderella for more than one night as I craved to hang out with Taeyong.

But also, the advice that Taeyong gave me continuously resonated in my head.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let go after all.

On the very same night, Winwin had to face his feelings as well.

“What’s your real reason for going out with Haeun?” Yuta asked as he walked to the living room where Winwin was at and taking a seat beside him. Winwin took a sip of water from the cups that Yuta brought from the kitchen. “Because I like her.”

“Now’s not the time to fuck with me, Winwin. I know it’s something else.”

Winwin exhaled sharply and fighting back with a, “What else is there? I like Haeun, so I asked her out.” Yuta scoffed and slammed his cup down on the table, his eyes narrowed down to Winwin.

“How long are you going to keep this up? What are you trying to do? Hide your feelings? Use Haeun to distract yourself from her? How low can you get?”

Winwin took in a deep breath and rubbed one hand down his face in frustration. “I told you. I like her as a friend.”

“No.” Yuta replied instantly with a stern tone. “You think I don’t know you? You don’t think I see you staring at her during class? Or that one time where you ranted to me about how she went out with a group of guys from our class.” Yuta got closer to Winwin and he wasn’t fazed at all, determined to maintain this eyecontact that was filled to the brim with tension.

“So? It’s because I care for her. Are friends not suppose to do that?” Winwin retorted back, leaning in as he bored his eyes into Yuta’s.

“She’s right. You really are delusional. I don’t know why I bothered trying.” Yuta downed the rest of his drink and stood up, placing the cup on the table. “Well, she told me I should just make you realise it yourself.” Yuta bent down to meet Winwin’s eye level.

“And you better pray that by the time you do, it won’t be too late.”

With that, Yuta grabbed his belongings and headed to the door, exiting and slamming the door shut. Winwin blinked his eyes a few times and stared at the door.

To be honest, Winwin didn’t understand what just happened. A lot of questions popped up in his mind after Yuta left. What did he meant by delusional? What was he delusional about? What did he have to realise for himself? And what did she have to do with all this?

The longer he sat there in deep thought with analysing everything that Yuta said, Yuta was right in some way. The fact that he gets concerned for her with whatever action she did, but ended up not doing anything about it. He stared at her in class to make sure she wouldn’t fall asleep. He was overprotective about her being around guys because he didn’t want guy to be with her but himself and Yuta. The problem is, why did Yuta talked to him about it as if it was something else? Isn’t this what you do with your friends?

Winwin’s eyes immediately darted back to the front door where he heard the shuffling of footsteps coming. He knew it was her. The moment she opened the door, one last questioned surfaced in his mind.

“What’s too late?”

Little by little, one ice cream date at a time, I began to get a lot more closer to Taeyong. He never lets down an ice cream date and everytime I was with him, he gave me a place where I could go away from my sufferings of my complex love situation. It was as if he gave me a way to escape. Just by being with him, I felt that I didn’t need to suffer.

Our ice cream dates evolved into doing other things like exploring the city, or trying out restaurants we’ve never been to before. To be honest, I would do anything if it meant being with Taeyong. He really was like my very own escape world, where I could run away from the only problem I’m currently facing. Which was Winwin.

Since our exams were coming up, our dates naturally became centered around studying. Today was no different, going to the study cafe that we’ve been to a couple of times.

We decided to sit at the corner of the cafe so that we’ll be able to concentrate better. Me being the relatively smarter one, I had to tutor Taeyong. It was a good thing that he wasn’t one to slack on his studies. He’s avarage in terms of academics but he was willing to try and get better. It made it easy for me to tutor him since he would try his best to understand and stay attentive.

Though, I couldn’t help but notice him stealing quick glances of me whenever I wasn’t looking at him. Does he perhaps like me or something?

“I want coffee.” Taeyong groaned out, pouting cutely in front of me as he desperately asked for a break. I chuckled at his adorable nature and ruffled his hair. “A fifteen minute break, alright? I’ll buy you coffee.”

I was about to stand up from my seat when Taeyong gripped onto my wrist and sat me back down. “I’ll do it myself. Do you want your favourite drink?” I smiled and nodded my head eagerly.

Taeyong rose from his seat. Before he walked off, he bent down and placed a quick peck on my cheek and ran off in a matter of seconds. Taeyong turned around and flashed his cheeky playful smile with mouthing, “That was intentional.”

I giggled and waved a hand in the air, signalling him to turn to the cashier who was waiting for him to order. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel something after that small kiss.

Over time as our friendship grew, Taeyong became more affectionate towards me. He was a natural at it. Without me knowing, he ended up holding hands and giving each other kisses on the cheek of forehead. It made my heart race every time and he would tease me whenever I blushed. Of course I did the same to him.

A little while later he came back with the drinks, placing them on the table before taking his seat next to me.

We resumed studying till I heard the bell above the door rang, signalling that someone has came in. I didn’t really care about it as the music from Taeyong’s phone played on one side of the earpiece that I wore was loud. I then however heard a very familiar voice.

Looking up, I saw Winwin and Haeun standing by the counter to order. With creases formed on my forehead with eyes that were glued to the two of them, Taeyong noticed my expression and looked at where my gaze was at. “I’m assuming that’s the guy you like for three years?” I nodded with a defeated sigh.

“We can go if you want. I’m afraid it’ll distract you.” Taeyong whispered. Right as I was about to reply, Winwin and Haeun turned around with their drinks as they tried finding a seat. While Winwin’s eyes scanned through the area, he made eye contact with me, causing him to give a confused look until Haeun went up to kiss his cheek and urging him to sit at the spot she found for them.

I bowed my head to greet him while Winwin did the same. I turned back to Taeyong after that awkward encounter. “It’s fine. It’ll be a hassle for us to waste time to go somewhere else.” Taeyong shrugged and nodded his head, resuming to look at the question in front of him.

We were studying for quite some time and I started to feel my adrenaline to continue studying slowly disappearing. With my chin on the palm of my hand, I tried to close my eyes to let them rest for a moment while letting out a tired sigh. Suddenly, I felt Taeyong’s hand guiding my head to rest on his shoulder.

I moved my head around to try and find a comfortable position, which ended up with my head being buried in the crook of Taeyong’s neck. I sniffed the strong scent of his perfume that I oh so adore. “You always smell good.” I complimented.

Taeyong chuckled in response. “I’ll continue to smell good if it means that you’ll rest your head on me more.” I tilted my head up with my chin still resting on his shoulder as I looked up. Taeyong brought his head down to make eye contact with me, leaning in slowly and kissing my forehead ever so gently.

“Go sleep. You need some rest.” With a hand slowly snaking around my waist, I got comfortable with Taeyong’s embrace. Before I closed my eyes, I absentmindedly looked towards where Winwin was sitting. For some reason, he gave me a look of anger, with a tensed body and clenched fist on the table and eyes lit with fire. It disappeared almost instantly when Haeun called out to him, forcing him to look back at her with a wide grin.

What the fuck was she doing with Taeyong? When has she gotten so clingy with him? How are they that close in the span of a few months? Questions like these circled Winwin’s mind throughout the time he was at the study cafe with Haeun.

Oddly, he couldn’t get his eyes and mind off her and Taeyong. He observed their very move closely. He felt like raging every time Taeyong even placed a finger on her. You could imagine how Winwin felt when Taeyong had his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder.

She said they were just friends. But Winwin couldn’t believe that claim at all. Friends are not so touchy like this, right? As much as he wanted to agree to that question, he couldn’t. Because that’s what he’s been doing with her as well. Being physically close while still being friends. He just never imagined she’d do it with someone else.

Winwin knew for a fact that what he was feeling was pure jealousy. It shocked him due to how mad he could get at this.

After his study session with Haeun, he went straight back home. Realising you weren’t there, he assumed you went out with Taeyong again. He rushed into his room and threw himself onto his bed, placing a pillow over his face and screaming into it.

Winwin threw the pillow beside him and huffed, looking up at the ceiling. Once again he was deep in thought as he stared at the ceiling. This time, he was fighting a war in his head as he tried his best not to admit his feelings. The pride he held to deny it. But he couldn’t hold on anymore. Allowing his wall to crumble down as he came face to face with his true feelings. He decided to call Yuta to ask for help.

The moment Yuta picked up the phone, Winwin said, “Okay you’re right. I can’t beat around the fucking bush anymore. I like her. I like her a lot. I denied my feelings for her because I didn’t want our friendship to be at risk. I only used Haeun to get over her but I can’t. She’s on my mind even though I’m with Haeun.”

It took awhile for him to hear an answer from the other end of the line, only silence and breathing could be heard till Yuta responded with a, “Tell her that once you get into college. Right now, she’s probably studying hard for the high school leaving examinations. It would be best to stay out of her way and focus on your studies.” With that, Yuta hung up.

Winwin was left with his thoughts, unable to sleep till three in the morning because all he could think about was her. Whatever Yuta said the other day now made sense. She’s liked him for so long but she never confessed. He realised how dumb and delusional he was to not see that someone liked him right under his nose but he didn’t know it, brushing it off like it meant nothing because he didn’t want to admit his feelings for her. Fuck his pride and delusional ass.

As the days of the exams are coming closer than ever, Winwin tried his best to stay focus and study to the best of his abilities. Though he still couldn’t get her off his mind. It wasn’t the main thing he thought about but it was always hidden in the folds of his thoughts. It sometimes made him malfunction a little as well.

“Sicheng are you serious?! This is basic shit I thought you know about this!” Yuta scolded as he tapped in pen on the table and pointed to the question that Winwin answered incorrectly. Yuta sighed and covered his eyes with a hand for a moment before turning to Winwin.

“You aren’t working right today. You good, bro?” Yuta asked with concern. Winwin frowned and ran a hand down his face. “Is it that bad?”

Yuta clicked his tongue and places his pen down, leaning against the table.

“You’re one of the smartest students. Your brain works like a computer, like clockwork. Yet you just can’t seem to think straight because you’re thinking of her, right?”

It took awhile for Winwin to answer before he nodded slowly and gulping. “I can’t do anytning about it now. I don’t want to disrupt her studies. It’s fucking killing me...” Winwin laid his head on the table and covered himself with his arms, earning a big smack in the back by Yuta that made him jolted back up.

“Let’s forget it for awhile. Stay focus. We need to get into college, alright? Come on, let’s get something to drink before continuing.”

A year later.

I finally made it through your high school leaving examination and got accepted into the college I signed up for. Surpringly, Taeyong made it as well. Despite us having different majors, we did share a common elective for History.

“Today’s class was fun.” I said sarcastically, waving my hands in the air lazily. Taeyong laughed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very.” He commented.

Today we decided to stay back and hang out in the music studio where the music majors use to record their singing etc. Taeyong promised me to play me one of the new songs he wrote.

The studio was located on the first floor of the campus and it was near the entrance as well. Basically the window of the studio showed fhe streets and people could walk by and see whoever’s inside. Well, only if they bent because the window is half the size of a regular one due to the studio being a little lower than ground floor.

We chilled in there for awhile. With me laying on Taeyong’s lap while the two of us were on our phones. I got bored of reading the news on twitter so I turned off my put and looked out at Taeyong. “Play your song now!” I whined. He immediately placed his phone away and looked down on me.

“Okay, okay chill!” Taeyong shouted out, leaning in to kiss my forehead. I got off his lap and allowed him to set up to play his new song.

He got inside the recording booth and told me to sit down and wear the headphones. I followed his instructions, though I was confused when he told me to press a button that would play the song but I got around that.

“Can you hear me?” Taeyong asked, placing his mouth near the microphone in front of him. I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, proceeding to press the button that would start the song.

The first few beats of the song already got my hyped up as I began to nod my head to the music while looking at Taeyong while a bright smile. He smiled back before starting to rap. I was intrigued instantly and started vibing to his voice.

As the continued on with the song, I couldn’t help myself but stand up to dance. He saw me dancing and looked to me while he sang into the microphone, starting to move to the beat as well.

I laughed happily as I started to make weird movements which triggered Taeyong to fall off his rhythm a little and laugh, picking up right where he left off soon after.

Absentmindedly, I glanced sideways to the window and saw a pair of legs facing towards the window. Like I said, since the studio was a little lower than ground floor, the window only showed a small portion of the streets.

To see a pair of legs there was weird. Whoever it was, they stayed there for quite some time since I didn’t see them leave until Taeyong finished the song.

Taeyong took off the headphones he had on and got out of the recording booth. “So how was that?”

I immediately ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close and placing a warm peck on his lips. “Perfect as usual, Mister Lee Taeyong.” I ran a hand through his hair and giggled with glee.

Winwin’s POV.

I stood there as I heard her laugh. The unique signature laugh that I once used to hear everyday. The one that never failed to brighten my day no matter the situation. The familiarity of it brought me home, but at the same time it brought a different feeling. A hurtful one that made my heart ache. To know that the one that made her laugh wasn’t me.

I couldn’t stop regretting not telling her how I feel. I planned to tell her after the exams, but life moved too quickly for the two of us and we eventually went our separate ways. A year now has passed as I still held my feelings for her close to my heart. I understood how she felt now. Not being able to tell her how I feel for a whole year. How did she survive liking me with an additional two years.

I know I can’t have her back. She was able to let go of me and be together with someone that made her happy instead of the burden I made her go through. But at the very least, I hope to make her happy one last time before I disappear from her sight forever.

One night, I received a text from Winwin. Of course I still had his number because I didn’t see a reason to delete it. We naturally went our separate ways due to college and all. The text said to meet him at the big tree beside our high school. I found it odd. Considering how it was ten in the night. I figured maybe he needed someone to talk to in person.

“Sicheng!” I called out to him, waving my hand up in the air slightly. Winwin waved back as I took a seat next to him. “What’d you call me out here for? It’s pretty late as well.” I glanced at the time on my phone before looking to Winwin.

“I asked you to come because I have something to tell you.” Winwin said, looking down and fidgeting with his thumbs. I grew nervous as I didn’t know what to expect.

“Um... What is it?” I asked hesitantly, tilting my head slightly to look at his face that he hid by looking down.

After a moment of silence, he finally cleared his throat as looked up, staring deep into my eyes.

“I liked you.” He whispered.

Did I hear that correctly? I couldn’t have, right?

“I really did. I liked you.” Winwin repeated himself when he realised he didn’t get a reponse.

I gulped as I could only stare back in disbelief. The words I wanted to hear for years. Why did I feel different from the way I expected to react from it.

I sighed, licking my bottom lip. “It’s been so long, Sicheng. Saying it now... I don’t feel anything from it anymore.” I replied reluctantly.

“I know. I just felt the need to tell you. You’re happy with Taeyong. I understand that.”

Another moment of silence (longer silence this time) filled the air. The two of us looked up into the sky, getting lost in its darkness.

“Just wanted you to know that I did like you back in high school. I was just dumb to realise it myself.” Winwin added on with a soft laugh. The hurtful kind of laugh.

I punched him lightly in the arm, making him look at me with a surprised face. “You really were.” I whispered.

“I actually got a dance gig at America.”

I widened my eyes as my mouth gaped open slightly. “Really?!” I gasped. He nodded.

“It also meant that I’m moving to America in a few days.” Winwin glanced sideway before sighing.

I placed a hand on his back, rubbing it up and down slowly. “You’ll do great there. I’ll keep in contact.”

“I’m happy I get to tell you about my feelings and talk to you before I go.”

I reached my arms out and pulled him into a hug. I suddenly hear him sobbing into my shirt, damping it a little as his sobs were muffled. I brought my hand up to his hair, caressing it gently.

“I’m happy I got to love you for once in my life. Despite it being tiring, it did make me who I am today.”

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shinobirain24 · 3 years ago

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It was a Saturday afternoon and Weiss and Neptune held hands to meet his parents for the first time. It was then that the two looked at each other and blushed, smiling. "What's wrong, Snow Angel?" Asked Neptune.

Weiss ran her hand into her cheek in nervousness. Thinking of the reaction of his parents once introduced. "I don't know, Neptune. Ever since we got engaged. I am not sure how your parents would react, cause you know..." Weiss said.

Neptune figured that because she is a Schnee. She thought she would get rejected. But he knew otherwise that her personality counts and not her name. "Hey, don't worry about it. I am sure my parents would have to get to know you first. Least my brother won't be here to ruin the mood. On the bright side when I met your mom, she is actually nice, and too exciting when we told her the news."

-One month ago-

Willow gripped on Neptune's hand a bit tightly as she just got excited for their engagement. And saw some kindness in him. Unlike Weiss' father, Jacques. Weiss never saw this side of her mother before. Normally she would be more composed.

"Give me grandchildren!" She told him. Making Neptune eye-widened. Weiss is also jolted at this reaction.

"Mother!" Weiss and Whitley sighed.

-Present-

"Sorry about that. I never saw this side of my mother before. But she seemed better than before since my father is now gone." Weiss said. Even a bit shocked at her mother's reaction. She was glad that she accepted her fiancé. If her father were here, he would've went after him like a tyrant, which he already was.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm glad things gotten better since the wars." Neptune said. Recalling the events of meeting Willow. "Also, I might have to want you about my sisters." Neptune stammered. Weiss looked at him with surprise as m she did not know he has sisters.

"I don't know you have sisters." Weiss blinked. "What about them?"

"They are triplets, Vesta and Juno went to Haven together, while Ceres is a doctor, she's sweet and all, so there's nothing to worry about cause I think you might get along with her just fine. Needless to say, Juno and Vesta can be a bit of a powerhouse. It's safe to say they are overprotective of me. The last guy who picked on me got sent to the hospital after Juno and Vesta beat him up badly." Neptune rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh, I guess they couldn't help but love their little brother. Take it from my sister, she always believed I have to be on my own feet. But it doesn't stop her from helping me find my own ground." Weiss said.

Then minute they knocked the door. Weiss breathed a bit to keep calm when meeting others. Then when the door opened and Neptune's father Saturn is the first on the front door. "Son?" He greeted.

"Hey, dad. Sorry it's been too long...and..." Before he could say anything, Saturn greeted his son with a hug. "I am so happy you finally come for a visit!" He teared up. And then turned to Weiss. "Oh, who is this lovely young lady?" Weiss then introduced herself.

"Please to meet you, Mr. Vasilias. My name is Weiss Schnee, and your son is very wonderful." She smiled whole blushing at the same time seeing how sweet the reunion was between father and son. "It's a pleasure, Miss Schnee." He greets.

"Saturn, what's this all about?! I thought I heard panic, but..." His wife, Lydia covered her mouth in shock to see her son in person. She then launched herself into a hug. "My baby! Look how big you've grown!" She noticed his height almost as tall as her husband. "Great to see you too, mom."

Weiss is a bit astonished to see her fiancé's mother looking a bit younger than her husband. She must've been in good health. Lydia turned to Weiss and greeted her with a smile. "Oh my goodness. Neptune told me about you and you looked very beautiful!" Lydia squealed. As Weiss paled a bit that she never expect this kind of greeting before but did not say a word.

"Uh...thank you..." Weiss stammered. "You look also lovely as well." She told her back to ease up a bit. That's when Lydia gave her a hug, unexpectedly. The same reaction far joyful. Like Willow. "Come here!" She said. Weiss blushed, a little taken aback by the surprise. But tried to be polite. Then Lydia wrapped her arm around Weiss as she showed her the entrance. "Come on in, teriyaki and sushi can't eat themselves. Help yourselves!" She said cheerfully.

Then they all entered the house for a meeting. Later in the living room. "So I heard your sister is leading the military now, you must be very proud of her." Lydia said. Weiss nodded in agreement. "I am, she taught me in some way of gaining my own ground. Since my father is long gone, our family is free to chose our own paths."

Lydia sighed in relief for the mentioning of Jacques now deceased. "Well, I for one relieved. Ever since he framed Saturn for weaponry trafficking. I had to defend him in court. Not once he was ever locked up until now." Lydia recalled the case. This made Weiss paled a bit. But maintain her composure. "I for one, agreed. Not once did my father paid the price. I am also happy he is out of our lives."

"I am sure you don't deserve your father's treatment towards you. Your mother and I had been close at a young age. And for some reason, Jacques had been depriving her right to contact me. I couldn't help but feel bad for her. And as a result of the past, Jupiter grew to resent your sister."

"That I did not know. But once the wedding starts. You and my mother can make up for lost time." Weiss insisted. This got Saturn and Lydia surprised to hear that word. "You don't mean...?" They paused as Neptune and Weiss nodded as she showed them a silver ring that he used to propose to her. "Yep, he proposed to me." This brought joy.

Later, after the meeting. They decided to have some time to themselves. "Your parents are actually nice. Never have I thought they would be this joyful." Weiss admits. "From what I heard, your dad and your mom. They did work together on multiple cases. They seemed so happy together." Weiss said. A bit jealous that she never had parents like that.

"How so, Snow Angel?"

"The thing is, my parents were never like that. Form what I can remember, my father always kept his distance from my mother. All he did was give her a cold shoulder. For me, it was way harsher. The more I saw this, the more I thought some parents are like this, but it just wasn't right." Weiss told him.

"I get where you're coming from. Mom saw cases like that before. That's why I decided to work with law enforcement. To help others in need. When I was a kid. I used to call myself a coward. All those negative thoughts kinda blocked me from reality. I hate hurting others because of my semblance."

"Maybe that makes two of us. I'm glad you decided this yourself. I for one learned one thing. Seeing the world today, it was crazy, but it was also fun. If I were to still be an heiress, I wouldn't have met you today." Neptune took her by surprise by wrapping her arms around her in an embrace.

"You are the best one that's ever happened to me. I promised you, I'll do whatever so can for you. I don't care if you're a Schnee anyway. Your happiness is my happiness."

"Neptune, there's no need to be worked up about this! I appreciate it, really! But..."

"But I really mean it." Neptune finished. As they looked into each other's eyes.

Later, Saturn and Lydia present them the kimonos they were never familiar with. "Ta-da!" Lydia cheered. "Mom, what are these?" Neptune asked, a bit confused.

"These are what your father and I wore for our wedding! Black for the groom and white for the bride! Those are actually Mistral's traditional wear. Dont they look so beautiful?!" Asked Lydia.

Weiss and Neptune looked at each other. "Actually, they are. What do you think?" Neptune is at a loss for words. "I am not sure..."

"Come on, son. It won't hurt if you tried it on first." Saturn said. Suddenly they heard a crash from the kitchen and they ran to check it out. It was two of the triplets, Vesta and Juno. Standing above a Nevermore they killed and made a hole in the walls. "Haha! Another day, another Grimm down! Take that!" Vesta then paid attention to her parents. "Sorry, Daddy! Juno is not the type to find landing spaces." Vesta apologized while Juno is too busy celebrating another hunt completed.

"Guys, seriously?!" Neptune groaned. Then his sisters jumped off to hug him. "Our baby brother is back!" Making Neptune feeling embarrassed. "Nice to see you too! Please let me go!" Neptune pleaded while his sisters gripped on him, being overly affectionate. "Aw, come on, don't be baby! Just a few more minutes!" Juno cheered. Then eyed on Weiss. "Who is she?"

"Um...hi." Waved Weiss. Suddenly, Ceres came home from work in the hospital. "Daddy! I'm home! I heard Neptune's back and...!" Ceres paused to see her sisters and the Nevermore. The turned to Weiss. "You must me Weiss. It's nice to meet you. Sorry about my sisters. Also, I have to warn you. Don't get me wrong. I love my brother, but he is a flirt." She whispered the last thing near her ear.

"Don't worry about it, it's nice to meet you too." Ceres seems genuine, but more likely to save other girls from heartbreak. Since she seems to be gentle but strict out of the triplets. Not sure is her brother changed or not. "Ceres! I'm not that guy anymore!" Snapped Neptune.

"Don't worry, I knew you grown. I am sure your sisters are amazing too." Weiss assured. Then Lydia grasped her hand. The same reaction Willow had shown before. "Please say you'll give me grandchildren!" Pleaded Lydia. Making the rest of the Vasilias household, except Vesta and Juno, paled. "Mom!" Shouted Neptune.

"Lydia! It's too soon to ask something too personal!" Saturn joined Neptune. "Mom!" Added Ceres. As much as Saturn wanted grandchildren, he knows patience is a virtue. And Lydia did not seemed to get any older, physically. As for Vesta and Juno, they are getting too excited to have a niece or a nephew. But for Weiss and Neptune, it was getting too much. But decides to wait until things have calmed down a bit.

"Eeek! Did you hear that?!" Juno squealed.

"Yeah, just give us a niece or a nephew! I don't care!" The sisters held hands and jumped up and down. Much to the dismay of their third triplet sister, Ceres. "Vesta, Juno, not you too. Did you not see the damage you caused there." Ceres gestured at the broken walls. "Lighten up, sweet sister! Think of all the fun we can have with their kids!"

"Want my advice? Get yourselves some boyfriends." Ceres advised strictly. But they are not listening.

"So, when's the wedding?" Saturn asked. Awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. "We've been thinking a month later." Weiss replied. The couple looked at each other and smiled, knowing that it might not be a perfect wedding, but it will be a great time to spend with their families.

#rwby #rwby fanfic #weiss schnee x neptune vasilias #weiss schnee #neptune vasilias #weiss x neptune #iceberg rwby #rwby iceberg #rwby icy seas #icy seas

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tinkonka · 4 years ago

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sirinoel: trapped in the past

setting: after the mishap at the horror storytelling session. words: 2,448. content warning: descriptions of organs/disturbing imagery. characters: sirius gibson, noel levine, claire elford this was originally intended to be platonic, but i don’t mind for it to be romantically interpreted! enjoy :)

It is not unfamiliar to Sirius how ostracized 'witches’ are by the world around him. He wouldn't know if a person before him was a heinous witch, nor would he take out his frustrations on someone in the first place, unlike the many members of the public that did so without hesitation. It was the way of the society before him - witch, bad. Nicholas, mayor of Ribecca, good. Although Sirius knew that execrable man was buried 6 feet under, his distaste for him still sat sour on his tongue.

To him, and him only, he was the villain, and she was his hero. Lady Dorothy, who had taken him in, shown him love. Surely, someone as compassionate as her would be rendered a good person in society - he was doubtful he was the only one with whom Lady Dorothy had shown kindness. And yet like puppets on a string, the public ate up the artificial story like a moth to a flame. She went down in history as an unwelcome demon.

So of course it was reasonable for Sirius to be upset, yes? Though the curses he had spat out whilst bombarding Ashe with feeble kicks and punches may have been unnecessary, the words of disdain that had slipped out the researchers mouth was deemed a perfect excuse to shut him up. It was explainable that the others would defend him, given his reaction, and yet here Sirius sat, gaze fixated on his hands which were quivering in response to the thoughts that seemed to be burning into his mind.

It was the only thing he wanted to look at. He was sure if he glanced up to pay mind to some inanimate object, he would witness the horrific incident 12 years ago for a second time, where Lady Dorothy had so hastily departed from his life. Organs spread along the walls, gouged out eyes scattered as if they were merely childlike toys - as if the room in which multiple people died were a playroom. Blood, blood, so much blood. The smell was suffocating.

And lo and behold, he was alone. Alone in this wretched room. Most days, he would find solace in his own company, but now it felt like his own shadow was taunting him from another world, prompting him to think of 'what if's despite the tragedy having been over for a long time.

She would come back, he told himself. No matter how long he would have to wait, his heroine would come back and he would prove them all wrong.

"Just keep calm... it's over. She will come back." He whispered, willing himself to keep the tears down, to keep the 12 years of trauma secreted. Honestly, the one moment he wished to let out his emotions, and there were people inhabiting the once lonesome mansion. The size of the place made it so he was confident that he wouldn't be heard, but given the circumstances he didn't have much doubt someone would come to say some pointless words.

Consolation, resentment, neither mattered to him. Simple sympathetic platitudes wouldn't cure his unhappiness.

And as he seemed to predict the future, there came a couple of knocks that snapped him out of his stupor. Followed by a few moments of silence, and then they began for a second time, accompanied by calls for him by two familiar sounding voices.

At this hour? Sirius grumbled to himself, forcing himself to look to the clock. Luckily for him, the sudden spikes of dissonance had grounded him back to reality, and Lady Dorothy's bedroom appeared as it was mere minutes ago. No mustached man pointing a revolver at him, no intestines thrown around as if they were party streamers.

He was safe. And he hoped this would remain, as he promptly stood up to answer the door. Hands still trembling ever-so-slightly, he rubbed his face, just in case some tears had fallen astray without his knowledge. With hesitance, he twisted the knob and opened it slowly.

"Sirius!" Ah, it was Noel and Claire. Predictable.

"Siriuuus!!" Claire exclaimed, overjoyed to see his presence for some reason he fails to comprehend. Combined with Noel's excited smile, the two of them being here, and Claire's usual jubilant demeanor despite the dreary circumstances... frankly, Sirius was baffled.

"Ugh, what's wrong with you two? Do you know what time it is?" He grumbled, a scowl set on his face per usual.

"Wah! Sorry!" came Claire's apology.

"We're sorry!" Noel added. Honestly, the two of them are still doing this?

"...What are you here for?" Sirius decided on saying, his expression softening as he gazed over his two childhood friends.

"...We were worried..." Noel replied, rubbing his arm with his left hand meekly. He chuckled weakly with a small smile. "Haha, though I guess you're okay... Hm?"

Unwarranted, Noel took a step closer to Sirius, squinting with concentration as he analyzed the smaller males face. Aforementioned smaller male was definitely not having the best night - and in response to this, took a step back.

"Whatever do you think you're doing? I'm fine, see?" He scowled. Maintaining eye contact, Sirius could see (even with only one side of his face) that Noel had found what he was searching for.

"...Have you been crying?"

...What?

"...Huh?"

"Your eyes are swollen... and you're a little red." Noel continued with a worried expression, gaze still centered on Sirius' face.

"Oh, dear!" Claire exclaimed, moving forward to stand adjacent to her light-haired companion. "Are you sure you're okay? Can we come in? I'm great at cheering people u-"

"I don't want your flimsy condolence!" Sirius waved a hand dismissively, his face heating up. "I'm fine. I don't need to be consoled. You'd do well to just leave me be."

"Whaaat?! That's not true! Everybody wants help when they're upset, right?" Claire argued obliviously, placing her hands on her hips. Seems she had yet to figure out when Sirius was genuine, that at certain times talking back was deemed a personal attack. Her energy then dulled as she fixed her stare on Sirius' face with a smaller smile than before - one that was sympathetic rather than joyful. "We're here for you, okay? You can tell us-"

"What part of 'leave me alone' do you fail to comprehend?! You're as thickheaded as you've always been- everything was just FINE before you decided to come back!" Sirius shot back angrily, his hands balling into a fist as he progressively got frustrated.

"...Come back?"

Ah, shoot. A slip of the tongue - as composed as he usually was, Sirius found himself seething at her words that likely had good intent - and had so senselessly spat out things he had wished to keep to himself.

"What do you mean, 'come back'? I haven't come here-"

"AHHRGG! Just forget it, okay?! It doesn't matter!" He could feel the tears building up, and yet he stupidly preserved. "Just leave as you did all that time ago! See if I give a damn!"

"Sirius, stop." Noel, who had been keeping his silence, placed his hands on Sirius' shoulders, appearing stern - something extremely foreign to Sirius. He was too stunned to take Noels hands off his shoulders - his serious expression wasn't something Sirius had witnessed before. "...Claire, would you mind leaving us alone for a little?" He turned to the shorter girl beside him, who in response, nodded with a meek expression.

"...Let me know if you need anything, alright?" She mumbled, and with that, she walked off with her head hung low.

Now with the usually boisterous girl absent, Sirius' attention immediately turned to the more pivotal objective - not to confront Noel, who undoubtedly had things to say, but to keep the lump in his throat down. It had been years since Sirius had cried, and with company, he didn't want to start now. He couldn't start now.

Head spinning, no words left his mouth as Noel led him into his room, shutting the door behind him as he led Sirius over the desks in which he would spend a long amount of time slumped over, attempting to complete some work. Upon seeing the protective charms he had recently finished, he was once again reminded of his precious violet-haired witch.

And the world turned red.

Suddenly heaving for breath, Sirius slumped over, his hands rushing up to his face in an attempt to hide from the horror that had befallen him. The pungent, estranged smell of blood that he hadn't suffered for years had quickly made its home back in his nostrils. And before he knew it, the anguish he had worked so hard to conceal came pouring out in a single go.

He was too far gone to hear the cries of alarm that undoubtedly came from his childhood friend, too trapped in the past to realize he was now on the ground, curling up instinctively as he sobbed out years of pain.

And as quickly as it started, it halted with a foreign warmth that had enveloped his body, eyes flying open to reveal aforementioned childhood companion holding Sirius in a tight hug.

"Take deep breaths. You're fine, you're safe." He could hear him properly now. Noel's smooth voice never failed to ground him, whether had been an explosive outburst or being too wrapped in a book - Sirius would recognize his voice no matter what the circumstance.

And with no hesitation, Sirius melted into the touch. It was comical how long he had denied needing to be held, how he had voiced his distaste for physical affection - and yet he had so quickly surrendered his boundaries.

"I- I-"

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here." came the comfort that he swore he detested. He clung onto Noel's blazer tightly as he wept and wept - and he wondered if he held on tight enough he would be able to prevent Noel from leaving.

If he kept Noel close, perhaps he wouldn't have to be alone again.

And thankfully enough, Noel showed no signs of departing any time soon. He seemed content to hold Sirius for as long as he needed, making the effort to continue the small circular rubbing motions on Sirius' back, which were accompanying soft shushing noises - both of which were helping tremendously.

"I promise you that Claire means no harm - none of them do." Noel murmured quietly after a few minutes, head dipping into Sirius' hair. "Ashe may have spoken out of line, but that's no reason to resort to violence, okay? His words may have hurt... but there were other things you could've done."

All Sirius could do in response was hiccup softly, having no energy for some verbose remark. He understood that - he was never one to act erratically, and his sudden desire to hurt also left him surprised. But Lady Dorothy? A murderer? It was as if his pain was no longer valid - like his attachment to the witch was inferior.

He'd be damned to let the researcher continue. To let him slander his heroine even more. Despite that, he wished he could've responded more appropriately - a course of action that didn't require physical abuse.

"...I'm sorry..." He managed to croak out, leaning further into Noel's chest. He could hear a small chuckle leave the taller boys mouth - and now pacified, he knew he meant more good than evil.

"Now, now, where's this meekness coming from?" Taking his arms off of Sirius' back (much to Sirius' dismay), Noel placed them on Sirius' cheeks, forcing the lilac haired boy to meet Noel's single cerulean eye. "Where's the headstrong guy that I know and love?"

"...Quit using words like that, you." Sirius, now feeling a little better, got up on his own and gently took Noel's hands away so that he wouldn’t feel the heat on Sirius’ cheeks. "An apology is an apology. I don't need to possess a certain demeanor to feel remorse."

"Haha." giggled Noel, his usual smile returning to his face. "I know. But... I'm not the one you need to apologize to."

"...Yes, I understand." Sirius replied quietly, his gaze shifting downwards. It's not like he didn't feel apologetic - he just felt like he was owed an apology as well. If simple words from a mere stranger were able to bring him to his lowest point, then surely he was guaranteed some words of remorse, right?

"...Well, I'm feeling sleepy, so... you can leave." Sirius muttered, getting back up on his feet. An awkward close to the emotional outburst, yes, but Sirius was in no mood to spare feelings at this moment. Luckily, Noel knew of his hidden sincerity, evident as he stood up along with Sirius.

"Right, okay. Are you... going to be alright?" Although Noel had just spent time consoling him, he was still able to show some additional concern. How he did that effortlessly, Sirius had no clue.

"Yes, I'll be alright." He sighed, bringing a hand to his face to wipe the tearstains. "...Thank you. For... uh." At a loss for words, he gestured to his undoubtedly red face. "Assisting."

"Don't mention it. I'm happy to help." Noel smiled softly in response, and walked past Sirius with a pat on the shoulder. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Goodnight to you as well." Sirius replied, and with the click of a now shut door, Sirius was alone. However, this time it was okay. He found solace in the silence, rather than before where it seemed to choke him.

With a deep, long sigh, he made his way over to the bathroom, washing his face with cold refreshing water. Taking a look at himself in the mirror, he cringed - it had truly been a long, long time since he had seen himself look this upset, so teary-eyed and, quite frankly, disgusting.

But strangely, he felt relieved. He hadn't realized how much he needed to cry. It was amazing how light his head felt after only a few brief moments of tears. It was... nice, for a change.

Padding over to his bed, he crawled in, and with another sigh, he let his eyelids shut, welcoming the hopefully dreamless sleep that enveloped him quickly with a heavy, comforting mist.

And as he drifted off, he could hear the familiar sweet melodies of the woman he held so dear, sending him off to sleep as she did 12 years ago when he was plagued with nightmares. No longer did the memory of her bring him sadness, but instead, as he slowly fell into his thoughtless slumber, it brought happiness.

And for the first time in years, he fell asleep with a smile.

#witch's heart #sirius gibson #noel levine #claire elford #this took a few days to write whoops

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goldenfawnwriting · 4 years ago

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Birds Of A Feather- Part 13 Hawks Fic

Summary: Finch is training with the commission now, the training intense and nearly deadly, can it get any worse?

A/N: I keep turning off my keyboard lights while I’m writing this and I’m about to throw this damn thing also I’m running out of Gifs lord help me

Warnings: Violence, angst, emotional trauma

It had been another week of torture, another week of mental and physical torture. Finch’s body was so close to collapse as she walked into her apartment, falling onto the couch again. It went like this pretty often, her body unable to keep up with the routines and so, she could almost never make it back to her actual bedroom. Hawks had been away on a business trip for the past three days, Asami was busy with her hero work. Finch had no one to turn to and tears began running down her cheeks. It had been so much more than stressful, it had been spirit breaking, absolutely awful.

Her muscles felt as if they had been shredded, her mind was exhausted, she couldn’t even lift a finger if it saved her life while she was in this shape. And so she passed out on the couch, her body finally succumbing to exhaustion.

What she wasn’t aware of, was that the very next day she would really be put to the test. The red winged man had been away for a reason, the commission had made sure he wouldn’t be around to intervene and it only crossed her mind when she stepped up on a ledge, blindfolded, the next day.

“You are blindfolded today and handcuffed for one reason today Finch, do you know what reason?”

She stayed silent. She had learned that not everything was meant to be answered.

“We’ll be putting your flying to the test today.”

“I-I’ve never flown before-”

“You have wings for a reason. And I do hope they work, or you’’ll be in some real trouble her win a second.”

The man spoke. There was a cold sweat on her forehead as she felt a breeze go by. More than a breeze actually, it was wind. She was getting confused, what were they going to have her do exactly? There was hands at the back of her head and she twitched slightly at the touch, the blindfold being untied and removed. Her face went pale.

She stood atop the agency building, almost 40 stories high. Her stomach dropped and she glanced back tot he man standing behind her. Multiple men actually, some with clipboards, some using voice recorders as they mumbled notes into the speakers. They were going to throw her off the roof...

“H-hey, I don’t think this is really the way, shouldn’t we take this a little-”

The mans hand laid on her stomach as she turned towards them and with as much as she fought against going off the edge, it wasn’t more than a few seconds before she was free falling, her voice going hoarse as she screamed.

How was she supposed to just fly?! How was she supposed to just do it?! She was panicking big time, the g-force of falling nearly blacking her vision, she couldn’t even see against the wind whipping around her face, her hair cutting into her skin, or at least it felt like it. With all the thoughts wrecking her mind she finally set eyes on the ground, which was very quickly approaching her, at an alarming pace actually. She took a note out of Hawks’ book, thinking back to all the times he had flown from the window of the office. She spread her wings, the wind making it increasingly difficult. It shouldn’t be that hard, she’d watched him do it a million times.

She was starting to panic more and more, her mind racing as she started to cry. The tears were whipped off her face faster than she could get them out. She struggled harder to get her wings out, and at this point she was so close to the ground she wasn’t sure if it would save her or not. She squeezed her eyes shut as the ground came closer when suddenly she ascended, the wind catching her and ripping her upwards.

“Come on dove, we’ve got to do better than that!”

She heard through the wind. Her eyes came open, squirming around to look at the man above her, his wings outstretched and carrying them both.

“H-Hawks!”

“Alright, gorgeous, stretch those wings out for me!”

She did as she was told, letting her wings out as far as she could.

“Good job! Now just keep them out and you’ll glide!”

“Hawks don’t let go-!”

His arms disappeared from around her waist and she screeched, closing her eyes shut again.

“Just keep them out!”

It was a moment before she heard his voice come through the wind again.

“Haha, look at that princess, you’re doing it!”

She felt her stomach flip and she opened her eyes, looking down at the city below her.

“Hawks! I’m flying! Oh my god I’m flying!”

He chuckled down at her and took in her spread wings below him. She looked amazing in the air.

“We’ll have to do a couple more flying lessons and get you a visor but, you really are a natural!”

He grabbed her as he stopped them on the sidewalk, a few bystanders surrounding to ooo and ahh at them.

“Lets get back to the agency, I need to have a talk with them about their methods also.”

He grumbled, shoving his hand into his pockets as they walked back.

“Wait, where have you been the past couple days?”

“Had to work on a case with another district.”

She nodded at his short answer and followed behind him silently after that. He seemed pretty mad.

^^^

She waited patiently in the office as she was told, Hawks on the other side of the glass door to the hallway, yelling at some poor kid about what they had just done. As she waited she was revisiting the memory of finally flying. Suddenly, she heard the door close and a loud sigh.

“God I hate the people here...”

Hawks groaned, slumping down in the chair across from her. She didn’t reply, she wasn’t really sure how to, truth be told.

“Are you ok?”

She looked up to him with wide eyes. It had been awhile before anyone asked her that.

“Oh y-ya I’m fine.”

“they just threw you off a building Finch-”

“I’m trying to be a hero Hawks, worse could happen.”

“You would’ve died-”

“And thank you for saving me. I appreciate it.”

She stood up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“I have to get back to training, it was nice to take a break though, thanks.”

“Finch no, you’re done with training today.”

“I can’t just be done with training Hawks, I have to be better.”

There was a pause and she started to walk towards the door before Hawks shot up, grabbing her by the arm.

“You’re done for the day.”

He growled sternly, pulling her to turn towards him. She ripped her arm away from him.

“I have to do better Hawks.”

He looked at the look in her eye and half of him was scared. There was a spark in her eye, a glint of fire, that gave him a chill.

“Finch, you’re going to overwork yourself and end up dead, you can’t become a hero in one day.”

Finch looked down and he could see her tearing up.

“Don’t do this to yourself, I’ve seen way too many fizzle out this way-”

“Hawks, I don’t have the time to mess around and be lazy-”

“Finch, don’t believe everything the commission tells you, they just want to profit.”

He reached out to her, trying to pull her close but she only turned, walking out the door. He didn’t chase her, knowing she needed some space.

As she made her way home and couldn’t stop her head from going a mile a minute. Something didn’t feel right, something inside her was fighting a war, it felt like. She just wanted to be a hero, but half of her was growing a hatred for the whole idea.

For days and days of training the hatred only grew, she slowly began to resent the system, how heros were awarded shining medals and glory for simply doing what was right for the people around them, any other idea was written down as villain. They told her if she went about her business, lived a normal life and didn’t throw herself into everyone else’s problems that she was suddenly a horrid person.

As she sat in bed at night her mind only continued with the questions. How could that say that then torture her? They called it ‘training’ when they threw her off the tallest building they could day after day. Slowly, she was beginning to resent the commission, their practices, their methods.

After training one day she ran a bath, soaking in the cold water. It felt like a dark smoke was taking over her mind, creeping in slowly, the stress of it all beginning to engulf her. The mental strain, the questions, the loneliness. She had effectively pushed everyone away from herself, driving herself mad with stress.

She was so engulfed in herself she didn’t realize when the door slowly creaked open, letting Hawks peer into the bathroom to set eyes on the woman, sat curled up in the freezing water.

“F-finch? Are you alright?”

He came closer when she didn’t reply, her mind in a completely different place.

“Finch?”

He called. When she still didn’t reply he shot forward, concern enveloping him, but as soon as his fingers grazed her shoulder she went stiff as a board, growling lowly.

“Get away.”

“F-Finch,”

He caressed her shoulder delicately, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“Tell me what’s wrong princess...”

She sucked in a breath and paused before she let it out and replied.

“You need to go.”

“Why?”

“It’s not safe here!”

He was taken aback.

“W-what do you mean? You’re home Finch...”

“No where is safe anymore...”

She whimpered, a rough sob punching her in the chest. He grabbed the towel off the rack quickly and wrapped her up, pulling her out of the bath, when he felt how cold the water was.

“Finch you’re going to get hypothermia, why is it so cold in here?”

“It’s hot.”

“It’s freezing-”

He set her down on her bed, going to brush her hair away from her face, feeling her forehead raging with fever. He felt guilty. He should’ve checked up on her sooner, he should’ve stayed close, made sure nothing was going wrong.

“Finch you need to take a break.”

“No..”

She choked out, wrapping her wings tight around her.

“It wasn’t a question. This has to stop, you’re killing yourself trying to get to a goal that you’ll throw away at this rate. You can't be a hero like this, I don’t care how determined you are.”

He scolded. She was silent before she stood shakily, getting dressed and making her way to the door.

“Where are you going? You’re not leaving.”

“I have to train more Hawks, I can’t waste time.

“Finch you’re not wasting time taking care of yourself, you’ll work yourself to death.”

“There’s no breaks in the real world.”

She mumbled.

#Hawks fanfic #hawks #bnha hawks #mha hawks #hawks angst #mha #bnha

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thepandapopo · 4 years ago

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His Star - Chapter 2: Proposals

Can I get this out before midnight? who knows. But I’m determined to at least bang this chapter out in one sitting because it was Claude’s birthday yesterday damn it and I told myself that for his birthday, I would post at least 2 chapters to this fic, bake him a cake, and have a perfect tea time with myself.

So far everything has been accomplished except for the second chapter. so HERE WE GO.

Pairing: Claude x F!Byleth

In which Claude proposes a vacation to Byleth which may or may not be stress free, and may or may not include going back to Almyra with him so that he can court her properly.

The one where Claude schemes to take his star home so that he can finally get started on his plans to make an honest woman out of her... and also get his parents off his back.

Chapter List

1 / 2 / 2.5

Masterlist

If you would like to be added to a tag list whenever I update, please let me know!

XxXxXxXxX

Of all the things Claude expected to come back to, Byleth falling off a cliff was not one of them.

In fact, after the first time he watched her fall off a cliff following the Battle of Garreg Mach, he never wanted to see it ever again. So when he was faced with his greatest fear for the second time - no no no, she couldn’t leave him again - he had not hesitated to throw caution to the wind and abandon his position at the head of his army. He had dug his heels into Zahra’s flank and as always, the white wyvern was on the same page as her master, flying faster than she had ever flown before towards the falling queen.

Claude was used to any physical contact with Byleth feeling electric, like little shocks of pleasure shooting from his nerves and sending shivers down his spine, but when he caught her in his arms, he was alarmed by how hot her skin felt even through the thick leather of his gloves.

It was clear that Byleth was ill. Extremely ill. And yet she pushed herself to her very limits, standing at the front lines with her soldiers to show them that no matter what, she was with them because she believed in a world of peace.

She believed in his dream.

Suddenly, the fear that gripped his heart mere moments ago gives way to a fiery hot rage that burns through his body.

Byleth has done enough for Fodlan. She has fought countless battles, pushed her body to the very limits, and even carried the burden of having the powers of a goddess (”Teach, you’re joking, right? What do you mean you can turn back time?” “It is exactly what I said, Claude.”).

And now these stragglers and remnants of the Imperial army and Those Who Slither in the Dark come once more to try and revive their warped plans?

There are many things that Byleth deserves, Claude thinks, and being able to lay in bed recovering from a cold without worrying about crazy delusional dark mages is probably near the top of that list.

So when the newly crowned King finally makes it to Marianne and entrusts his secret fiance to her care, he no longer has his usual mask of cheerful indifference. Instead, storm clouds roil and darken his visage, verdant eyes sharp and blazing with cold, calculating determination.

Claude doesn’t remember how many enemies he shoots down that day. But he does know that it isn’t enough to quell the fury that simmers beneath his skin.

----

It is four days after the battle before Byleth finally regains consciousness.

Much to his chagrin, Claude is not there by her side when she rejoins the land of the conscious. In the aftermath of the battle, he resolves to step up and help Byleth with some of her duties while she is recovering. Which is exactly how Claude has found himself in the middle of a dreadfully exasperating conversation with Count Gloucester going over resource allocation for the umpteenth time. Thankfully, the servant chooses this time to burst through the door with the news.

“Your majesty!! She’s awake!”

The words are barely registering in his brain before he is moving, hastily throwing half-hearted apologies towards the clearly disgruntled Count, and rushing out the door.

He makes it to her room in record time. And he knows this because he has timed how long it takes to get to her room from any location in the castle, just in case he needs to get to her quickly.

Sitting upright against a mountain of pillows and bathed in the sunlight from the open terrace doors, Byleth is a vision for sore eyes.

He opens his mouth to speak and cannot help but slip back into the playful banter that he is so used to.

“Teach, we really gotta talk about you and cliffs. I don’t think it’s working out in your favor.”

Claude distantly wonders if maybe he should have said something more romantic, or even just a simply inquiry about her health, but those options don’t sit right with him.

She loves him for who he is, and that includes his old habits and light quips.

She is staring at him like he is a ghost, and really, he cannot blame her. The bed sinks a little with his weight and he reaches out to brush a stray lock of mint so that he can see those beautiful eyes that he missed so dearly.

It has been a long six and a half months since he left her at the top of the Goddess Tower. Probably even more shocking yet, he has since ascended the Almyran throne and that feat itself is quite evident from the brightly coloured and extravagant robes that he now dons on a daily basis.

“What’s the matter, Teach? Cat got your- oof!”

She crashes into him without warning and he is immediately reminded of how solidly built she actually is. Byleth is a fighter first and foremost, after all. Claude should have known that a few months behind a desk tending to paperwork wouldn’t have been enough to deteriorate the wall of lean muscle she has built over years of mercenary work.

“I... You... you’re really here?”

Oh, Goddess. He has missed her voice.

His arms snake around her, one coming to a rest across her lower back, pulling her smaller form closer to him as the other hand snakes its way into her hair.

Lips against her temple, he gifts her with a gentle kiss before humming his reply against her skin.

“I am, my love. I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

Neither of them can bring themselves to separate, not when this moment feels so much like a dream that could dissolve at any second. Instead, they trade quiet whispers of affection that do not even come close to reflecting the longing and yearning they have experienced since they parted ways.

The sun is beginning to fall below the horizon by the time they manage to pull apart for longer than a heartbeat. Byleth has long since scooted over and pulled Claude under the covers so that they can lay side by side rather than perched uncomfortably at the edge of her bed.

He lets out a pleasant hum when her fingers begin carding through his hair, slender fingers parting his thick brown hair and smoothing it down the back of his head.

“So...”

He knows that tone. He’s been on the receiving end of it multiple times, mostly back in his schooldays when she catches him red handed with a vial of his latest experiment uncorked and ready to pour into someone’s meal.

“King now, is it?”

“Er... yeah.” He ignores the urge to scratch his neck sheepishly and opts to bury his face in her shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of blade oil and jasmine that is unique to Byleth.

“King Khalid.”

Ah crap.

He lifts his sheepish expression to meet her narrowed eyes, “By, you have to believe me when I say I was going to tell you. But I had to sort a lot of things out first.”

He brings their hands up under the fading sunlight and verdant eyes shift to look at their intertwined fingers.“You know already that I am part Almyran. And I told you before I left that I had some...royal connections -”

“I believe you described them as ‘insignificant’.” As usual, her memory and mind are as sharp as her sword and he knows that he cannot weasel his way out of this situation.

“Haha... did I say that? I mean, even though technically I was the crown Prince, it’s not like I was guaranteed the throne. Almyrian traditions are a bit different than here in Fodlan.”

He’s half expecting her to throw another quip back at him about another one of the ways he’s botched this whole thing up, but to his surprise, she merely stares at him with those unwavering green eyes and nods for him to continue.

It’s now or never. He may not have been able to be completely truthful with her before, but now those obligations and promises that veiled his truths no longer bind him.

So he tells her. He tells her about his mother and how she made him promise to keep his identity a secret. He tells her about his promise to his father that he would return home to put his name in the running for the throne when it was time for his father to step down. He tells her about the fights and trials that he had to go through to beat out all the other contenders to prove his strength and abilities as a leader and King. And finally, he tells her of how he took the title of King of Almyra and how it took several weeks for him to get everything under control, only to get intelligence that Those Who Slither in the Dark were plotting one last stand, and how he barely had time to muster his army and march at full speed to make it to her side in time.

When he is finished, Byleth is silent and for a moment, he fears that perhaps it is all too much for her. There is a nasty voice in his heart of hearts, quiet though it may be, that whispers that maybe she has decided that she no longer wants to be with him because how can she trust a man whose real name she didn’t even know?

When he finally musters enough courage to meet her eyes again, his heart does a funny little flop in his chest and the back of his eyes burn with the familiar sting of tears.

Byleth may not be a woman of many words, but the firm squeeze of his hand and steady, soft gaze says everything he needs to know.

I understand. And I love you.

He wheezes out a chuckle and brings her hand to his lips, kissing the digits almost reverently. “I wanted to tell you before I proposed to you, but I needed to honor the promises I made to Mother and Baba. Trust me when I say the first thing I did when I went home was ask them to relieve me of those burdens.”

“Did...did they ask why?” Her voice is hesitant, even as the question leaves her tongue.

Goddess, just once he would like to be able to pull the wool over her eyes, but as usual, Teach is sharp on the uptake and Claude really cannot get anything by her.

He reaches up to finger the emerald ring hanging from a silver chain around her neck, dragging out the silence as long as possible before giving the answer he knows she is dreading.

“I maaaay have told them that I had a certain special someone in mind that I wanted to introduce them to...” His sentence trails off into laughter as he watches the horror creep into his beloved’s expression.

Byleth Eisner. The Ashen Demon. The first leader of the United Kingdom of Fodlan. The Hero of Fodlan.

Claude finds it hilarious that the woman he loves can carry such daunting titles and face an army head on with no fear, but is absolutely terrified of the idea of meeting her future in-laws.

“Khalid-” he likes the way his real name sounds coming from her lips, even if it is a horrified gasp. “-I can’t. I don’t even know what to do! I’m not a noble and I don’t know anything about etiquette on meeting royalty from a foreign country, much less your parents.”

“Aww, don’t worry Teach! You’ll be perfectly fine, just like when you joined the Alliance Round Table for the first time.” He winks at her, biting his cheek to stop the laughter that is threatening to bubble over.

“In case you’ve forgotten, I also have a country to run. One that you so gladly dumped on my lap before escaping across Fodlan’s Throat.”

She must be desperate now if she is willing to hide behind her duties.

“Not to fret, my dear.” He leans over to place a chaste peck on the tip of her nose, flashing her his signature wink and grin afterwards. “I’ve already cleared it with Seteth. After all, it was the stress from the non stop work that caused you to fall ill in the first place, right? I simply proposed that you could take a month or two off from your duties to relax and recover from your injuries-”

“-I have no injuries-”

“-and maybe come back with me to Almyra for a little vacation.”

While she doesn’t officially reject his proposition, he does receive her reluctant acceptance in the form of several pillows being chucked unceremoniously at his head.

XxXxXxXxX

I’M TERRIBLE AT WRITING ENDINGS. I promise I’ll come back later to fix this one up too.

Hope you all liked chapter 2!!

Note: I did NOT get this out before midnight. It is currently 1:56AM.

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#Claudeleth #claude von riegan #Byleth eisner #claude x byleth #F!byleth #my writing #popo writes #fanfiction #fire emblem #3 houses #fire emblem 3 houses #FE3H #post cannon #Post S rank support

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northcarolinanative · 4 years ago

Text

𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠

Pope Heyward X Reader

A/N: This is my first Pope fic, so let me know what you think. I was super hesitant to write this because I feel like there is still so much that we don’t know about pope other that this pressure that his dad puts on him and his own pressure because of the scholarship. I am really hoping that we learn more about Pope in season 2. Anyways, as always my requests/asks/DMS are open. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think:) PS: The flashback is in Italics:)

Description: The Reader and Pope have been together for a while now, but it seems like both of them are getting pulled apart from one another. Their lives and their futures seem to be getting in the way of their relationship. Based on the song Bad Timing by Rhys Lewis.

You're heading out, as I'm coming home But I haven't seen you in forever

I walked in the chateau after the dreadfully long shift waitressing at the country club. Today was a terrible day at work, the older men just seemed to not give it a rest, I got two orders wrong, leading me to be yelled at, and having food spilled over me multiple times. I wanted to chill out on the HMS pogue with my boyfriend and our friends. I looked around at the scattered mess that the other pogues had left out in front of me. I shook my head, knowing that all the boys were to blame for the mess. I hear voices outside as I make my way out through the back porch. My plans for the remainder of the day were crushed when I saw JJ and Pope on Heyward’s delivery boat at the dock. John B was standing and talking to them. “Ahh, there she is, our favorite country club waitress!” JJ yelled to me as I made my way across the yard. I saw Pope giving JJ a sharp look, but JJ just laughed it off.

“Hello boys” I chimed giving John B a hug. I saw Pope leaning over the side of the boat. I stood on my tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Are you heading out for deliveries?” I asked, looking at the stocked boat.

“Yea. I know you just got home and are tired. Why don’t you get some rest, we’ll meet up later tonight? Just us?” Pope questioned, in his normal awkward tone. We’d been together for almost a year, but every time Pope asked me to hang out just us two, he got nervous. Honestly, I thought it was adorable.

“Of course, baby. I miss you.” I put my hand on his cheek, making the moment a little more intimate. John B and JJ were bickering and focused on other things. “I feel like it’s been forever since I got you all to myself,” I said, fixing the collar of his loose Hawaiian shirt.

“I know, it’s been hard with work, but we’ll make up for it tonight.”

We steal a kiss, and you close the door I guess we're alone in this together

“Alright go, get your job done, I’ll be here when you get back.” I looked at John B for approval to stay around, he nodded his head.

“I’ll see you later,” He said, reaching down for another kiss. This one was a little more intimate than the last. He had his hands on either side of my face, while mine rested on his shoulders.

The boat started moving away from the dock, breaking us apart. “Y’all will have enough of that later. We got groceries to deliver.” JJ yelled speeding the boat away from the dock.

John B walked up to me, as we both waved bye to the boys. He threw his arm around my shoulders. John B was like the older brother I never had. I was an only child, as it seemed most of the pogues were. John B and I grew up together, living across the street from each other most of our lives. “What’s going on between you two?” He asked as we began to walk toward the hammocks. ”Things seemed…” He paused and looked in my direction, “Tense”

I settled into the hammock, kicking off the uncomfortable work shoes and lying back. “I had a shit day at work for one.” I smiled at John B. He knew that working at the country club was my least favorite of the jobs we picked up. “I wanted to hang out with Pope, Ya Know? I just feel like we never get to see each other. Our schedules never get to line up. We’re both trying to work so much to save up for college, and when we aren’t working it seems like we’re working on scholarship essays or studying. We both want to get off this island so bad that I think we aren’t taking the time to enjoy our time together. We’re together, but sometimes it just feels like we’re going through the motions.”

John B just nodded. I wondered if Pope had also talked to him about the way he had been feeling. “You never know what the Pope is thinking. He doesn’t show his emotions, you’re gonna have to talk to him Y/N. You can’t keep this to yourself. Relationships require communication” He settled into the chair beside me, throwing his feet up in the chair in front of him lying back. “Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen it tearing you apart.”

“Wow JB, that sounds like actual advice?” I laughed at the joke causing him to scoff and let our a sarcastic ‘haha”.

He continued and I knew what he was about to ask. “Have you told him about NC State yet?”

I took in a deep breath. “We haven’t had the time yet JB. We’re always with the pogues or its just fleeting moments where we kiss and pass each other by. We haven’t been alone for me to tell him.” I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I was hoping to tell him tonight.”

John B just nodded letting silence fall over us. I looked up at the few clouds that were in the sky. I felt the breeze that came off the ocean and moved the clouds across the sky.

Well I miss the nights, we'd lie awake Both throwing shadows at the ceiling

One of the clouds was shaped loosely like a wolf, reminding me of the night Pope and I got together. Apparently everyone but Pope and I didn’t see it coming.

“Pope what is that supposed to be,” I asked looking at his hands, tangled together, trying to make a shadow on the tree using the firelight.

“It’s literally a jellyfish! See?” I moved his hands trying to get his hands to form in the shape. “See these are the Lappets” He wiggled his extended fingers out. “And this is the hood.” He raised the fist that was made by his other hand.

“You mean the stingy things” I tapped his moving fingers, “And the body bubble,” I said tapping his fist.

Pope rolled his eyes dropping his hands over his stomach. To put in laymen’s terms, then yes, Y/N, The stingy strings and the bubbly thing on top” He laughed. The sound was always music to my ears. Pope often took life very seriously. Getting him to relax, even if it was for a few moments was nice.

“Look” I held my hand up next to his, pressing my middle and ring finger to my thumb and sticking up my pointer and middle finger. “A wolf” I giggle. Pope knocked my hand down grabbing it in his. It took me back, Pope was hardly one to make the first move when it came to physical affection. I turned on my side, the dynamic of the hammock making it so that we were pressed against each other. Our faces were close to one another, I could feel his breath across my face. Our eyes flickering between each other’s eyes and lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Pope whispered. It was so soft that I wasn’t sure that I heard him correctly. I nodded my head subtly, but that was all Pope needed.

I felt his lips on mine, neither of us moved at first. Until I began to move my lips against him. I found myself surprised at how good he was at kissing. I felt my heartbeat quicken as the kiss progressed. I found one of my hands rested on his chest and one on the nape of his neck. His hand moving along my sides. We finally pulled away from one another, trying to catch our breath.

“Wow, a rare outburst of emotion Pope.” I joked.

I smiled looking up at the sky still. I love Pope with all my heart, but I had this sinking feeling that we were getting pulled into two different directions of life.

But life keeps getting between us And it's all too heavy to keep up anymore

I woke up when I felt a pair of arms making their way around me. I opened my eyes seeing the yellow hue of the air made by the setting sun. I must have slept through the remainder of the afternoon. I turned to face the boy smiling at him. Pope returned the smile back placing a kiss to my forehead. “Someone told me that you were going on a sunset beach walk tonight?” He laughed.

“Oh is that so?” I asked with a smile crossing my face. Pope held his hand out to help me get out of the hammock I had been sleeping in. I took his hand as he led us down the beach to our usual spot. Our spot was where we had walked to the night after we kissed at the Chateau. It was some larger rocks that Pope and I would climb up on and sit, sometimes for hours.

“How was delivering groceries with JJ?” I asked, nudging his shoulder, knowing JJ probably made it much harder than it had to be.

“Oh. It was practically a blast, the most fun I’ve had all summer” the sarcasm dripping off his words.

“No run-ins with Kooks?” I asked. It had become routine, making sure that the boys were okay after coming back from Figure 8.

“No. We got lucky today.” We had reached the rocks. Pope climbed up first, then reaching down to help me up to sit with him. The rock sat up higher on the beach, giving us the perfect view of the setting sun. The sky was starting to turn a range of orange and pink shades. A silence fell over Pope and I as we sat watching the sunset.

“I got into NC State.” Pope’s head turned sharply to look at me, his eyes wide. “And I’m gonna go.”

“I’m happy for you.” He said, but I could tell there was something in his voice. “We’ll make it work.”

“Pope, you're gonna be at Western, and I’ll be at NC State, that’s like across the state. We’re growing apart,” I said in a whisper. I wasn’t trying to be devil’s advocate, but there was something about it

“What are you saying? We can’t keep up with each other?” Pope scoffed jumping off the rocks. I could sense the anger in his voice. I felt my breath get heavy. I didn’t want to have this discussion so soon, I didn’t want to ruin our summer.

“Pope stop!” I followed after him. “What does that mean?” I felt the tears start to prick at my eyes as he turned to face me. I saw the tear streaks making their way down his face as well.

We stuck by it, we kept trying But there's no fighting bad timing I wish we'd met each other five years later 'Cause I hate the way we're being torn apart

“Have you not noticed? We keep trying Y/N. Something always keeping us apart. Whether it was school or work, but now it’s our futures.” He moved closer to me.

“Pope I want to make this work!” I breathed out looking into his brown eyes, still lined with heavy tears. “We have to keep trying!”

He let out a shaky breath. “I don’t want to lose you. I hate how it feels like we’re being torn apart” He let his head drop to rest his forehead on mine.

“If only we could skip ahead to five years from now, start our lives off the island.” I smiled at Pope.

“I know that the timing is bad, but this summer is going to be the best summer of our lives,” Pope said putting his hand on my cheek. “I Promise.”

“As much as I want that.” I took a step back from him, removing myself from his embrace. “We need to figure out what is going to happen between us. Do you think we can make long distance work? And for the next four years? I’ll be at NC State and you’ll be at Western, that’s across the state Pope.” I reiterated, dropping my head as I felt a sob make its way through my body. I was trying to hold it back. I didn’t want to lose Pope.

“They’ve got busses and we’ll have to come home for breaks? The state isn’t that big.” Pope paused before letting out a sigh and continuing, “I want to love you for the rest of my life Y/N,” Pope said. I looked up at him slowly. “We’ll make it work, we always do.” He moved forward to wrap his arms around me in a tight hug. I breathed in his scent. My senses filled with the smell of pine from a cologne that I bought him for his birthday. He was right, our lives were so integrated. I couldn’t see myself loving anyone else, ever. Pope was my weird, corpse obsessed boyfriend. I couldn’t think of anyone who could make me smile like him, that was as loyal as him, or as caring as him.

“The timing to fall in love couldn’t be worse,” I said with a slight giggle. I stepped up on my tiptoes to press my lips to his. It was a soft and gentle kiss, but all the emotions from our fight were poured into it. I felt the pain that he had from our impending departure, to how we felt about being separated for so long.

“There's no fighting bad timing,” He said as I rested my head on his chest looking out at the horizon that the sun had just slipped past.

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