#haha do i have the appropriate experience to give this character angst about becoming a parent unexpectedly? no

[star-ocean-peahen]

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[madmadmilk]

Return to Sender | Tom Holland x Reader

Pairing: Tom Holland x Yours Truly (You)

Summary: A letter made out of love and loyalty. It’s your choice to press post, send, delete, or save to drafts. The only thing we’ll never know is if he decides to read it or not.

Warnings: cursing, (lowkey highkey) angst, and a fair amount of delusion

Word Count: 1.8K over the character count

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How to read: First Person POV, so read this as yourself first and foremost. Then read this as his good friend, read this as someone who saw him yesterday, read this as someone you haven’t see in a long time, read this as someone who has nevermet him, read this as someone who has only known him through the lens of social media... read this as someone who has a lot to say but will never send it.

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Hey Thomas,

I must have written this over a thousand times, and I know it’ll never be just right.I just feel weird calling you Tom over this absurdly long, formal message, and Thomas kinda just looked better to me. And, blah, I know this could never change your mind, or make you see me any differently, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

Let’s get the hard part over with.

There’s about three things I’m absolutely positive about. First, you’re amazing. Fucking, brilliant. Second, there’s a part of you–– my wishful thinking, I suppose–– that I know, cares about me or could. And third, hah, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you.

Yeah, I totally just took that from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight, but you know what?? I gotta pay homage to how fiction and storytelling has always left a significant impression on me. Fluttery stories of love and hope and strength and cute brunettes–– all leads to you.

And I’m joking and rambling now, I know, but it doesn’t make it mean any less.

I love you.

Truthfully, I don’t even know where thatstarted. Was it when I saw you fight impossible odds during a tsunami as a boy? Or when you trained to spin webs and do back-flips and shit. Did I notice this affection through your first appearance in the MCU? The second, or even the third? Did I realize it when I found your instagram, and finally let myself follow? That time when you mistook your hair gel for toothpaste…? Or when I caught your livestream at the Right Time? When you looked right at me, and I let myself believe?

I don’t think I’ll really ever know whenthis started. I only know what I want and wish to happen now.

Through the videos, posts, movies, interviews and experience, I just… I just feel like you’ve always been there for me. You’ve always been someone I could fall back on–– look back on. I open my phone, and you’re right there. Beneath my fingertips, first in my search bar, bright on my lock screen. You’ve always been.

I look for your voice before I sleep, and I imagine the sights and sounds when I see new pictures of you. All I can do afterwards is wish I were there with you.

That’s all I want.

All I want is to leave an impression on you, to have something that lets you remember me. After that, I can let go and rest forever, if I knew I could mean anything to you.

I draw you, write about you, read about you, dedicate a whole blog to you–– and still wonder if it’s too little or too much.

(Side note: does it weird you out? Seriously, let me know and I’ll halt productions.)

Gah, it’s staggering to think that we are worlds away from one another; that we could meet tomorrow and then never again. Or how often I see your face, and never know how often you see mine––

I don’t let myself think of that most days.

You’ve brought me so much peace and happiness just knowing you.

My view is one-sided and biased and rosy. It’s limited, blurry, and lacking. There’s so much I don’t know about you, so much I wantto know about you.

And that’s what keeps this going.

The hope.

Or some shit.

I wonder if you would tell me if you had a girlfriend, or boyfriend, or someone special. I wonder how that would make me feel, or if that could make these feelings stop…. Hah, but I don’t think that would take anything away from me.

You’ll still be you.

You’ll still be that sticky boy who’s kind and generous and cute and funny and good to his family and friends.

You’ll always be that to me.

Not that I’d refuse to believe that someone else completes you or supports you better than I can, but I’ll always have the warmth you’ve given me. They could love you more than me, be closer to you than me, be better than me, and that’s alright.

Because all I want is for you to be happy.

If you are, then so am I.

And that’s love, I suppose.

It’s something selfless, it’s something that’s kind of like a hobby. You enjoy it and you endure it. You build it, you tear it down. You want to share it, but keep it to yourself. And no matter what happens, you learn and grow from it��

Oof.

I do hope you continue to share these things with me. No real pressure, of course. It’s your life to take control of. You deserve your privacy first and foremost, and time away from the public and social media. You deserve the time to recharge and reorient yourself after long trips and interviews and work hours–– we all do.

I just hope you decide to continue to share the snippets of life that you do.

It’s a lovely world to be a part of.

I love that you share so much with your family and friends. I love seeing your cute lil dog and snaps of places you call home. I love seeing how you spend your night out, and the sporadic nature of it all. I love that you can’t use instagram stories for shit. And I love that you continue to try anyway.

That’s something I’ve always really liked about you.

You don’t give up when you can’t do something. You’ll post the same thing twice to get it right. You keep your cool and roll with the jokes. You laugh at yourself when appropriate. You stand up for yourself when things go too far. You try your best while we all are watching. You try even harder even when we’re not.

I really respect that.

And I’ve gone so far off track from what I came here to say, I don’t even know if you’ve bothered to read this far. There’s just a few more things left, I promise.

I just need to say that I’m sorry for being a pest. For lurking so far up your ass and hitting the bottoms of your feeds so much. For applying more pressure than you need. For reading fakey gossip and making bold assumptions. For forgetting that you’re human just like me.

I’ve made these mistakes, and I don’t know how to make them right. I’m still out here learning too––

And what I’ve realized is that to move forward, I have to  step away.

I see your posts and fawn, and then I have to turn and leave. Suppress the urges to tease and make fun, to shout profanities, to post about what I wish I could do to you or you to me.

A well wish is all I can give you.

“Have a nice day,” and “Do your best,” is so fucking vanilla but it’s what I want you to hear from me. Something soft, loving and easy.

Something that will undoubtedly go unnoticed.

And I’m fine with that (most days).

You don’t have to acknowledge me, you don’t have to recognize me.

Because I want you, but I don’t.

I don’t know what would happen if thisbecame real. If you suddenly become realto me in my real life. Real, real, real. It’s seriously unimaginable.

Not because I’m me or anything.

But because you’re you.

I can picture myself beside you, but I doubt you could with me.

That sounds so pathetic but–– I don’t know!

I’ll never know, unless youtell me. Or I tell you and you tell me. Or we end up in one of those fanfiction slow-burn roommate!AUs. Unrealistic, but romantic.

And this is the point of it all, I guess.

I want to tell you, “hey! I love you!” because I have to know what could happen next. Not that I’m expecting anything grandiose. I’m just hoping for a chance that you’ll listen to me and accept the feelings I’m giving you.

I just want you to hear me, so I can get rid of it.

So here, take it! Here it is! Do with my heart what you will!

I’m sick of hiding behind a screen, but too scared to show you my face.

Just take this pretty moment, remember me like this, and let me know what you think in 5-7 business days.

I’ll be waiting like I always have. Never too high on my toes or too relaxed in my bed. Leave it all to chance–– Can you believe I don’thave notifications set up for you?

You don’t own me!

And now that I’ve managed to give you a hard time figuring out what to do with my feelings, I’ll move on to the last part.

Happy Birthday, Tom Holland.

I’m so happy to have seen you grow on-screen and off. I’m incredibly proud of your achievements, and baffled by your impact. Keep fucking growing, dude! This is your time to thrive. All with your bare fucking hands. Fucking wild.

I can’t even compare myself to you––

But anyway, I hope you’ve had a nice day or night or whatever the hell. Please get some good rest tonight and tomorrow night, and all the nights onward. Take time to take care of yourself and brush your teeth.

And thank you for being your being here for me.

I hope you can take my words and turn it into strength and support, no matter how you deem to view it. It’s only to remind you that someone cares, after all.

Yeah, so before I dig myself a deeper hole, I’ll end this letter here. A reply would mean the world to me, and even if you don’t, I wouldn’t hold it against you.

You’re a busy guy, I know.

Thanks, Tom.

You have all my love.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly

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A/N: and that’s it!  really raw and kinda exposing who i am lol. You can make your own assumptions of what happened next. What perspective did you read this in? Did you actually send the letter? Did he reply? (is the reply the title of this fic?) Hahaha, I don’t really know what this is. I just felt like writing a love letter. Please let me know what you think! Did it work? Did it make sense? Thanks for reading :)

Please like, comment, reblog, subscribe and turn on bell notifications!! Haha

Peace out ✌🏼

Madmadmilk

[fheythfully]

fanfic author meme

my friend tagged me to answer all the questions in a fanfic author meme, and it is primarily for the Final Fantasy XIII fandom, so it’s located under a read more. :)

Fanfic Ask Meme

A: How did you come up with the title to [fic of your choice]?

Most of my fic names come from lyrics in songs that have to do with the story content, no matter how vague. Poetry also makes its way in there, and on the very rare occasion, something I come up with that sounds pleasantly appropriate.

A Series of Firsts was the only one in the past five or so years to get a title that accurately and simply described the story, something which I typically never do.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

No, actually. I write primarily angst and I have a very satisfying and healthy life, so… it all just comes out from somewhere? I am not entirely sure where.

C: What character do you identify with most?

Most recently, maybe Makoto from Persona 5? Growing up I felt that I had all these expectations on me from my family and the adults in my education (which I totally dug myself into by being smart and eager to please) and I always wanted to just say “fuck it” and stop caring about pleasing others and being the perfect student. Which took me until my third year in university to actually achieve but hey, better late than never.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with cause I’m a vampire smile (you’ll meet a sticky end)?

The title comes directly from the song ‘Vampire Smile’ by Kyla La Grange and it entirely fits so well for that fic. I definitely had it on replay the entire time I was writing.

E: If you wrote a sequel to Serendipity, what would it be about?

EDITED because I wrote for A Series of Firsts instead oops.

Serendipity would have a much shorter sequel - just lots of the gang being happy, of Fang and Vanille traipsing around the world, Yeul living in a big city and being amazed by all of it, Serah and Snow in a small French village with rose bushes and a kid or two and Light living in the same village with Hope being the Cool Aunt. Snow would have a motorcycle (and try to modify it to have a baby seat). Sazh would have a farm with chickens and livestock and live with his son and finally get the life he deserves. Maybe he runs into the reborn version of his wife and she remembers him. And live happily ever after. 

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

I don’t have one :( I even went through my favorites on both FFnet and AO3. I just like anything that makes me cry, and I cry easily, and sad fics make me happy.

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?

I rarely read crack but an amazing one I’ve been reading is Sincerely, Me by Ignis_Sassentia and SharkbaitHooHaHa on AO3. It is a FF15 texting fic and just phenomenal.

H: How would you describe your style?

Lots of run on sentences and disjointed narration. I prefer writing drabbles because I feel like that format lets me get away with using the style better. I like using metaphors and a good balance between simple and more flowery language.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Angst. All the angst. Also, if a fandom has some sort of divine figure in it, then you can bet it’s gonna be worked into my fics – usually as either a passive or active antagonist. This is a big reason why I still love writing for FF13 so much, because thank you, Bhunivelze. And Etro. Mwyn too. I need to write more Mwyn.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to any Bhunivelze!Hope and Etro!Light fic.

I said to the sun, tell me about the big bang is my favourite out of the few (two?) I’ve written where both take after the divinity. Alternate ending to that one would be, their friends catch on and end them before they can succeed in destroying and recreating the world.

For just Bhuni!Hope, of which I wrote more, eve as my latest one – I considered Light actually realizing what’s happening within the fic itself and being the one to kill him. She would realize this in the midst of a relationship Bhuni!Hope has succeeded in constructing with her, and there would be lots of tears, and horror, and the symbolic knife stuck in Hope’s torso.

Gosh, I just can’t give you guys happy things, can I?

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

The premise in A Series of Firsts, where Hope and Snow have to come to terms with failing the world, and Light dying and becoming the Goddess, and then having to witness Light and Serah as children and then take them in, and do all in their power to prevent Orphan, and having them be family and Hope has a child with Light and then… they fail. And have to start all over again.

I’ve always appreciated time loops.

L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

I discussed an idea with RainbowSerenity about a texting crack fic in the new world about the gang placing bets on how long it will take for Light and Hope to get together, and just being little shits in general (with a very liberal use of emoticons) and then Light and Hope are just there, like… should we tell them? When do you think they’ll realize we’ve been together for months now?

Also, an appearance by Bhunivelze via repeated friend requests to Light’s Facebook through a multitude of accounts. The sentence “how the hell does he have service in the deep ass of space!?” is written down in my phone.

I have to be in a very specific mood to write something of this sort, haha.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

The AU fic above. Hope finding the temple with Light’s statue in 13-2, and ritually visiting it before it becomes inaccessible. Also, a fic I will shortly be releasing on – once again – Bhuni!Hope.

Outside of the 13 fandom, I have further ideas for my 14 OCs and how they meet, fall in love, and then go their own ways. An idea for an original fantasy story I’ve been sitting on (I have the entire plot written out, too…).

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

If someone could read my mind and finish that one FF8 fic I started in 2007 and never finished, despite rewriting like three times, it would be a miracle. The OC I created for it has grown alongside me all this time and I treasure her deeply, even though her story will never be properly finished.

O: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?

I usually start with a plot idea I want to write about and then the characters usually write themselves.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

The way I write my oneshots, the most planning I ever do is I have the final sentence in mind and then I have to write to get to that point. When I write (wrote) multi-chaptered stories, I typically had the plot mapped out and sometimes things would just write themselves in the process.

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

That FF8 fic. I don’t even want to talk about it, haha. Also a Narnia fic I was writing and had like, two sequels planned for. I am just horrible at finishing things.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Not really? I always write however and whatever I want. I really admire attica on FFnet, though – their writing takes me breath away.

Also Sylvia Plath and E.E Cummings make my heart skip a beat.

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Bhuni!Hope, and Etro!Light. As has been made obvious.

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Whenever Snow is being written as useless or dumb. That’s my biggest one.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet.

…Light and Snow, very brief in the original 13. I actually had something written down when the game first came out, but never properly wrote it.

Don’t kill me. It would be very sad where they share their angst over Serah and then realize what they’re doing and part ways.

V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?

Yeul. YEEUUULLL. I love Yeul. So much.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Specific ones.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

All of them. Primarily, Light, Hope, and Yeul.

Y: A character you want to protect.

All of them. From me.

Z: Major character death--do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can't tolerate?

I love reading it if it’s written well, and I’ve never written specifics just background plot. There aren’t any deaths I can’t tolerate, because if done well, it can throw things into a nice twist.

[eloarei]

As copy-pasted from that one BNHA ask meme: ALL my answers, since @oldseablues suggested I do that.  Under a cut because it’s long.

BNHA Ask Meme™ Reblog this if you want your followers to send you one of these:

~ B A S I C S ~

1: What part of the anime/manga piqued your interest? Like, what did I see that made me want to watch it? TBH I don't know! I guess it was All Might lol. I just saw that a bunch of people on my dashboard were talking about it and about him and I was like "Okay, I'll watch it." (A few people IRL had reccommended it to me before but I was like 'eh'.)

2: Did you think Midoriya would be a good protagonist in the first few chapters/episodes? Answered before. I think the gist of it was that I thought he was gonna be fine, I just didn't know if the story was gonna be any good.

3: How do you think Midoriya’s conflict with Bakugou will end? Honestly I think it'll turn out fine. I mean, I think that they'll repair their friendship (if you can even call it that). I think Izuku has to stop focusing on Bakugou and Bakugo has to start respecting Izuku. I think it'll happen just fine as they grow into themselves. I would be surprised if they didn't repair their relationship, just based on common shounen tropes.

4: What was your first reaction to Bakugou’s treatment towards Midoriya? First reaction? Hmm, let me see if I can remember. I guess I didn't think about it much because I wasn't sure he was going to be an important character. But when I realized he was... I guess I was just surprised that Izuku put up with it all that time. Of course it could be because of his lack of confidence, but I guess I see it more as him having faith in Kacchan actually being worth maintaining a friendship with, despite the bullying? He's too sweet for his own good ^^;;

5: What do you think of All-Might as a hero? Pfft, well he's great, obviously! Isn't that like... the one thing you're supposed to know when you start the series? "The sky is blue. All Might is great." He's a good guy. He does what he can and he does it well.

6: Do you think that Midoriya deserved to get OFA? Of course. He's clever and determined and passionate and kind. Who else would have been that appropriate?

7: Aside from Midoriya, which character in the series do you think has had the most character development? I'm gonna SKIP this one, since I'm still only a lowly Season 2 graduate. I haven't seen enough change in any of the characters to say.

8: Favorite unpopular character? Honestly? Mineta. I know everyone hates him, but I like him for the same reasons. Yes, he's dumb and sleazy, but I think he acts as a sort of balance, and it's good to have a character that occupies peoples' soft-hatred but isn't a villain. Not every 'good guy' is unproblematic, and I think he has the greatest capacity for growth because he's starting so low on the likeability chart. XD

9: Favorite overall character? I mean, that's an easy tie between Izuku and All Might. Obviously. If I had to pick someone else though... Tsuyu. She's precious. Or Ochaco. She's also precious. Or Iida, who is (surprise) also damn precious.

10: Do you have any OC’s? Describe them! If you don’t, create one on the spot. Create one? Yeesh. Uh. Okay, I'll port some original OCs over. Addisson: chivalrous lesbian hero, dresses like a knight. She conjures 'light-weapony' (or other items; made of light/air/whatever, they function as intended until she lets go of them. Only for melee weapons though, not projectiles unfortunately.)

~ S H I P S ~

Pink: What are your main/favorite ships? As surprises nobody: Dekumight, for sure. But side ships? Erasermic, and anything involving Ochaco. (Roughly in order: Ocha/Iida, Ocha/Bakugo, Ocha/anyone else. Oh! Never seen it before, but how about Ochaco/Gunhead?!)

Blue: Do you have any NOTPs? By principal, no. I don't do NOTPs. But if you're asking which ships I just don't really like or don't really get, the winner would have to be TodoDeku. It's very popular? but it just doesn't pique my interest at all.

Yellow: Favorite fanfiction about your OTP? Ooh man, it's only on chapter 2 ATM but @thenightisdarkandfullofbooty’s "Fettered" is really really great so far! Other than that, I don't generally recc explicit fics, but Motte-Gwappo and Jabor pretty well cornered the market with good E-rated oneshots.

Green: Any preferred rarepairs? Ahah yeah, I main a rarepair. And from what I understand, pretty much everything that doesn't include Todoroki or Bakugou is a rarepair, so... uh huh.

Purple: Do you have any works centered around your OTP? HELL YEAH. Anyone who's reading this probably knows. I've got 11 posted Dekumight fics so far, and *counts* 4? WIPs? and... uh... roughly 30+ more ideas? *sweats*

Orange: Fluff or Angst? Good lord I love both, but if you're gonna angst me, PLEASE give me a happy ending.

Red: What do you like the most about your favorite ship? Aaaaaaahhh gosh. Everything. *sighs dreamily* Did you see me the other day, comparing them to freaking Christian worship music? Gawd. They have SUCH a great dynamic, and it's one that has a lot of potential for shifting in various ways too. I guess what I really love most about them is how genuinely devoted to each other they are. Shipped or not, they really love each other! It's so wonderful. =]

Turqoise: What do you hate about your favorite ship? Alright now this is silly question. Why have an OTP if you don't just adore every fiber of their being? In the case of Dekumight, despite what I think a lot of other people would think, I don't even hate the things that make it a controversial pairing. I don't hate that Izuku is underage, and that there's a fairly massive age gap between them, and that there's a 'power imbalance' between them, because that all adds to their dynamic. It makes them very interesting. I don't wish that Izuku was older. I mean, I've written that fic, and I think they're still interesting together, but honestly, the fact that they at least met when Izuku was young is pretty important to their dynamic and-- *goes on forever and ever* ADDENDUM: One thing I do hate is that the majority of the fandom can't (or isn't interested in even trying to) see how goshdarn much sense the ship makes.

Lavender: Does your ship get a lot of hate? If so, why? Hahahaha yes. I don't pay a lot of attention to the fandom at large, but I'm fairly certain it's the most hated ship in the fandom? And it's the only ship I've ever gotten hate over! (Wonderful. Wish I'd get more. It'd be a good outlet for my blabbering haha) I understand /why/ it gets hate though. It's underage. It's frequently read as a father-son relationship. Oh, and it interferes with other popular ships, of course.

Grey: Realistically speaking, will your ship ever become canon? I guess there's a remote chance. Like, top of Mt. Everest remote. haha wouldn't that just fuck with people. Naw, look, I'm fully accepting of the fact that there are at least 5 other drastically-more-likely options, which are, in approximate order of likeliness: 1. Izuku/Ochaco, 2. Izuku/nobody, 3.Izuku/another girl, 4.Izuku/Bakugou, 5.Izuku/another guy. I give Dekumight a .01% chance haha and I think that's a liberal estimate. XD; BUT! I would be more than happy for there to be at least a throwaway line somewhere about Izuku having (or having had) a crush on All Might at some point, and I give that a very generous 5% chance of happening haha.

~ T H E O R I E S ~

Pop: Do you think the “Dabi and Shouto are brothers” theory is true? Don't know who the hell Dabi is.

Indie: Opinions on the Traitor Kaminari theory? Never heard it. Sounds implausible.

Punk: Opinions on the Traitor Kirishima theory? Never heard it. Don't like it.

Rock: What do you think of the “The doctor from Midoriya’s childhood is affiliated with the League Of Villains” theory? (in reference to this post) I mean... sure?? I didn't read the post, but I have no strong opinions on theories.

Jazz: What do you think will happen now that Eri has been saved? Honestly, I only know Eri through fanfic, so I'm gonna say, "No clue, my dude."

~ S T U D E N T S ~

11: Dekusquad or Bakusquad? Porque no los dos? But Dekusquad.

12: Most underrated student? Hagakure. That's the invisible girl, right? That's quite a power!

13: Dadmight or Dadzawa? Porque no los dos? But my ship dictates I vote Dadzawa. Honestly though, they could both BE dads; there's no one way to be a dad. All Might makes me think a little more of an uncle. Aizawa strikes me as more dad-like from my own experience, but they're both supportive in their different ways. I know, let's be contrarian and say "DadMic" =P HE'S the one that reminds me of several of my allo-dads.

14: Whose quirk do you think is the most unique? I think I said Tokoyami when I answered this before. I can't think of a better answer right now, so let's just go with that again.

15: Aside from Midoriya, who do you think has the most potential to be #1 Hero? I guess Todoroki.

16: Should Mineta be replaced by Shinsou in the hero class? Porque no los dos? If you get rid of Mineta, there's gotta be someone else for everyone to hate. Just shove another desk in there and have them both. Make them share, I dunno.

17: Favorite student(s) outside of Class 1-A? Hatsume Mei!

18: Any HCs for the entirety of Class 1-A? Headcanons for the whole class? Is that a thing? I guess I HC that they all genuinely love Izuku and are encouraged by his attitude. =]

19: Do you remember their seating arrangement by heart? lol heck no. I think I have an idea of where a few of the characters sit? But honestly, I blasted through the series once and haven't looked back on it yet, so I haven't had time for memorization.

20: Which of the students do you think has the most potential to become a villain? Gosh. Any of them could. I mean, being a villain instead of a hero is so based on circumstance. If things go wrong, any of them could go that way.

~  V I L L A I N S ~

Techno: Favorite villain? Stain. Not interested in any of the others just yet.

Classical: Eight Precepts of Death or League of Villains? what.

Metal: Which villain’s quirk would you want for yourself? I don't?

Soul: Shigaraki or Chisaki? Who?

Alternative: Most obnoxious villain? Shigaraki.

~  M I S C ~

Apple: Favorite popular HC? I haven't the slightest clue what's popular, but I'll reiterate my own personal headcanon: Izuku has or has had a huge pre-teen crush on All Might.

Strawberry: Who is your favorite pro-hero? Uh... Hmm.... Predictable answer: All Might. Less predictable answer: Best Jeanist, because his fucking outfit drives me nuts and I hate it so much I like it.

Banana: Which of the pro-heroes’ quirks fascinates you the most? Eh. I dunno. I guess I'm not really 'fascinated' by anyone's abilities. ^^; I just like them as whole characters.

Cherry: Should Endeavor die like right now Nah. He's important, even if we hate him. In fact, that might be part of why he's important. You can't love every 'protagonist'.

Pear: What was your reaction to Todoroki’s backstory? I... didn't have a strong reaction. I'm not a huge fan of Todoroki to begin with. I mean, I felt bad for him, of course, but I guess I wasn't surprised or anything, so it was like, "oh. huh. poor kid." I'm more interested in what happens next.

Kiwi: Should the BNHA girls get more spotlight/recognition? Of course! They're all great.

Pineapple: What do you like the most about BNHA, as a whole? Well, I guess what I like is the characters! That pretty usual, for any story I get involved in. But of course I love superheroes, so there's that! But I do also like the feeling of the whole story, how it's inspirational but also with a looming bleakness, you know?

Watermelon: Dub or Sub? Sub sub sub all the way. Gotta watch it in its original form, whatever that is. I LOVE their original Japanese voices. I accidentally heard a tiny snippet of it in English and I regret it haha.

Coconut: How do you think Hokiroshi is doing, in terms of the plot? Well I'm not caught up so it's a bit hard for me to say, but I think it's going well so far. I'm still interested.

Blueberry: What makes BNHA unique from all the other shonen animes/mangas out there? I'm not sure. I think it's in the small details. I mean, I'm not sure it really IS unique from other anime, any more than they're all unique from each other. TBH I feel like it actually take quite a few elements from other popular series and puts them together in an effective way.

...and that's the end!

[bartsugsy]

Oh Lo. Please teach me your ways. I mean I'm not even overly negative about everything, but how can you always be so excited./see the positives with each new spoiler/quote? I wish I could lol. Cos seriously, IM's definition of 'fun' and mine appear to be vastly different. This mainly boring scheming Robert plpt continues into next year? We're not getting a reunion til 2018 are we? Lord, they really want to test our patience don't they? Have we not paid are dues yet? haha! Who's exit you think?

do you know what anon, it’s weird, but i was actually thinking about what i would say to someone earlier today, if they asked me how i tend to stay positive???? it’s like our brains just know sometimes lmao - but that’s why you’re about to get a weirdly deep answer instead of what i usually say here

and honestly, i was thinking about this because i was thinking about life in general and how much i believe in the power of positive thinking? and how incredibly well it works? in fandom terms particularly, it’s a life saviour - in life it’s can be a lot more of a struggle to remind yourself but yk we’re not getting that deep we’re just talking about a soap

i get that it sounds like bullshit, but it works for me literally every single time. i’ve found that complaining about things is literally giving voice to negative thoughts and giving voice to negative thoughts is giving power so that they can breed more negative thoughts and before you know it, you’re sinking down this weird self-made hole of sadness - and not only that, but it spreads to other people, because humans are like feelings sponges and we feed off other people’s emotions a lot - it’s hard to be the lone person feeling one way in a room of people feeling the other. it’s like subconscious peer pressure.

but then the opposite - looking at the positives, being as steadfast and determined and strict with yourselves to look at the good sides of everything, is fucking life changing. there are like one thousand and one ted talks on this - like, you wouldn’t believe how many damn ted talks there are. anyway, because i was in this weird mood this morning and reflecting on it, i watched one that used a quote from wayne dyer - “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

THIS IS SO EMBARRASINGLY DEEP FOR WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY A CONVERSATION ABOUT FLIPPIN EMMERDALE SPOILERS BUT IT’S TRUE OK 

it’s true. if i look at spoilers andlook for the positives and literally refuse to give voice to the negative, pullmyself back to the positives whenever i do, and beyond that encourage thatpositivity in others through humour or happy thoughts so that maybe it spreads - and if i do it enough times that it becomes natural to me, a natural response to anything and everything, then… well… everything gets a hell of a lot more fun and enjoyable and those things that maybe i once thought were negative and worrying somehow turn into positives. and that’s not me desperately trying to tell myself something is good - it just genuinely does become something that inspires good feelings in me, happiness and excitement and whatever. i can’t really explain how well it works - you have to experience it. but like now? now i literally fucking love that rob and rebecca had a one night stand lmao. like. i love that god damn story beat so much. it’s just about changing the way you look at things - so when i used to look at that scene, all i ever saw was jfc why i don’t actually want this - but after really and honestly thinking about it in every way, by about acknowledging that i can’t change it and then looking at it from every angle, i look at that scene now and i see the show committing to showing just how affect robert is about everything, and also playing out a soap trope in what is literally the most shippy way possible. i see a scene that is, perversely, entirely about robert’s love for aaron and also a scene that gives me a great look at who robert is as a character and the way he reacts in situations. 

it sounds ridiculous? like, it really god damn does, but like… actually, why does it matter if it sounds ridiculous if i’m having fun and hopefully making other people smile occasionally lmao

also, beyond this, i’m also all about accepting the things i cannot change - and the writing of emmerdale? that’s a thing i cannot change. so why fight it? why not just buckle in and enjoy the ride? what the hell else am i gonna do? 

so yeah, anyway, it’s not about paying dues or anything, it’s not about making us suffer for our crimes of loving too much lmaooo  - they’re just…. it’s a soap and they’re telling a story that ultimately has robert and aaron interacting regularly and still being stupidly in love and eventually reuniting properly. so all i can do and all i want to do is find ways to enjoy the journey - and this is true of every storyline ever. 

and the result of me giving as much voice as i can to the things i enjoy and literally just ignoring any thoughts i may have or thoughts other people have about what they don’t because i don’t find them helpful (sorry all other ppl i love you i just gotta do me) - is that what we’ve had so far has been so much fun for me. i enjoy aaron and robert interacting in a - in a way, very abuse era-esque manner, obviously in an entirely different context. like - they both want to be together but they can’t - and now the feelings are there but only tenfold and so their scenes always have that bubbling underneath. a little bit of subtextual love and angst is fun. yes i want them to get back together and make out and cuddle and all that good and lovely jazz but like… that’s not the only way to enjoy their scenes, i don’t think. why would anyone ever rewatch the lighter relationshippy aspects of the abuse storyline if it was?

like - the smitten kitten scene? maxine’s episode where they go to find sandra? rob dealing with aaron leaving to see family in ireland for a bit (#parallel) and literally just trying to get info about how he’s doing out of chas on a daily if not hourly basis? they weren’t together during any of that. so why do they need to be together as a couple to have amazing, wonderful scenes now? why does them being split up automatically mean we’re in for months of no robron at all? because that hasn’t been what i’ve seen so far and from everything that has been said, that isn’t what they seem to have in store for us going forward.

obviously, you know, you gotta do you etc etc but… yeah, this is literally my secret lmao. just… idk. it took me a long af time to learn this and i had to go through a lot of sadness to get there but… idk the idea of being sad about a soap all the time just isn’t something i’m interested in for a way to spend my free time. so i don’t spend it that way. 

basically, what i’m saying is, this isn’t just innately me, irrationally excited about all things ever. it’s something i learnt to do and it changed my god damn life for the better in every damn way.

(i think it does make me a horrible person to try and be salty with when it comes to plot or spoilers though because i will, with all the love and good intentions in the world, probably refuse to let a conversation wallow in that misery and probably change the subject to something happier in order to preserve the hard work i’ve done on myself)

idk idk hopefully this doesn’t sound like a flipping lecture or whatever but this ask just came at a hilariously appropriate time for where my head has been at this morning