#haha did you think Matthew would somehow be even more of a jerk this week? because wow

[wgbh]

No context spoilers for this week's Call The Midwife ahead:

[agwitow]

You should check out christinewrites

I want to spread a little bit of love to other writeblrs, and though I don’t have a huge follower count, I hope some of you lovelies check them out and give them some love

@christinewrites​ is an amazing author. I had the opportunity to do a bit of beta reading for her (that I was unfortunately unable to finish), and I’ve got to say I really loved her style!

So you were getting beta readers a couple months back. How was that process been going for you? 

The beta process has been really exciting, actually! It never ceases to surprise me how many people actually volunteer to be betas, so I got quite a few. Of course some fell off, but that's only to be expected; People have their own lives to live, after all. It was also fascinating to see how differently everyone provides feedback: some prefer to do it within the document itself, some gave me pages with notes after they were done, and some just said "I liked it". I'd say my beta process went far smoother than expected, and it's very nice to know that we can rely on the writing community here on tumblr to help us get more beta readers :)

I'm so glad to hear that :) What are your long-term writing goals

My ultimate long-term goal is definitely to be a full-time author! Being able to live off of writing books only is the dream. But I've split that huge goal into smaller goals, so the goal I'm focusing on right now is getting an agent. After that, I'll focus on working with my agent and to my best to sell my first book, and then eventually I'll make it to my ultimate goal!

Always good to know the steps between you and your ultimate goal! What do you find to be the hardest part of writing? What's your favourite?

Yeah, it usually helps to turn big goals into smaller and more manageable goals :) Hmm... The hardest part for me is definitely the editing phase. I just find it way more appealing to write, not fix what I've already written. I also struggle with setting and describing the setting properly, it's just something I've never paid much attention to whether I read or write. Luckily I have more favorite parts than difficult parts! I love doing research (I can spend aaages just researching), I love creating characters, but I think my favorite part is when I've been struggling with a plot hole and then BAM I figure out a solution! That's the best feeling.

Oh, me too :) I love researching and have to be careful I don't end up lost in it. Do you have an excerpt of anything you'd like to share?

Yeah, that's exactly how I am too, haha! I love it though, even if it takes me way longer than necessary. Also, I tend to learn a lot of random stuff from it, so that's fun too :D And sure, I have a short story at 1500k. It's about exorcism and demons, so... I feel like I have to give that warning, haha

(short story under the cut)

Fall to rise

No matter where I hid, she found me.

“Sophia!”

Mother’s face appeared in front of mine, her forehead wrinkled in rage. I groaned when she clasped her hands around my sore wrists and yanked me out from underneath my bed.

“Mom,” I whispered through my heaving chest. “Mommy, don’t…”

Her fingers sank into my hair, tugging me to my feet in one forceful pull. I pressed my lips together to keep from screaming. She hated when I screamed.  

“Look at me,” she said and I did. Her face reddened as she lashed a hand across my cheek, sending me stumbling sideways.

“Plea-” I began, but her sharp shush stopped me. I drilled my gaze into the floor as she came closer, tensing my body for the next impact.

“Father Matthews is on his way. We will remove the demon from you, once and for all,” she said, as if I was the one acting demonic. “You will be purified and God will love you again. Go get ready.”

My knees almost caved in at the thought. Would they tie me to the bed again? The last time they tied me up, Mother didn’t let me out for two weeks, claiming it was a punishment for giggling during my auntie’s funeral. I never did, but Mother refused to believe me.

“I said get ready!” She grabbed me by the arm, jerking me out of my thoughts and onto the bed. “Mom, please,” I said. She tightened the rope around my right wrist until I cried. “Be quiet, child.” When she was done, she tucked my hair behind my ear and tears welled in her eyes. “Let Him shine the way, Sophia. God will save you.” 

***

Mother went downstairs to wait for Father Matthews, but I wasn’t alone.

The man in the walls had begun murmuring.

He told me to be strong. To think of the joy he could give me if I let him in. I knew he had to be a sign of my mind turning crazy, and I tried to shut him out, I really did, but the things he said made me feel hopeful. This was my hell and he would release me, he said. He’d been living in my bedroom walls for a month now and he was the only company I had. My only friend.  It was when Mother first had heard me talk to him she started to blame everything on the Devil instead of herself.

When Father Matthews entered the room, the man went silent.

“How are we today, precious?” the priest asked, clutching a bible to his chest. My breath turned to tiny, quick puffs as he raked his gaze over my body. Then he opened his bible with a nod and raised his voice with strange verses.

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking from the words. They itched my skin, biting and crawling like centipedes, oozing into my pores like acid. I screamed for him to stop, but he continued bellowing. “Father, please!” I tugged at the ropes, tugged so hard the coarse surface dug into my flesh. I licked salt from my chapped lips. “I have been a good girl, I promise.”

This stopped him for a second, his stare fixed on the wall behind me, his voice hitching like someone had hit him in the larynx. Just when I thought he would untie me, he turned on his heel and slammed the door shut.

***

Look at me. Lookatmelookatmelookatme.

I cocked my head from side to side trying to silence the rasping voice, but it had already pulled me out of sleep. Then I felt something stroke my legs underneath the duvet and jolted upright.

Look at me!

The duvet was ripped away just as I slammed my eyes open. I held my breath and scanned the dark room, but saw nothing. Heard nothing but my own heart racing. Yet I felt someone breathing on my skin, a hot panting travelling down my neck, over my chest, down to my stomach, somehow moving inside my nightgown. I wriggled away before it went down farther, almost hitting myself in the process. With a gasp I realized that someone had untied me. Had Mother decided the punishment was over?

No, darling. It was I.

The low murmur began in my head and slithered down the length of my spine. I tried to yell, but stiff and cold fingers curled around my throat, squeezing. With wide-opened eyes I hunted for their owner, but the room was still empty.  

“Hel-” I managed to croak, but stopped when something dark moved in the corner of my eye.

I told you to look at me.

I moved my head, even if every nerve screamed for me to run. I recognized the voice now and didn’t know whether to be afraid or relieved. Was he here to help?

A shadow seemed to be dripping from the roof, expanding on the wall like a black hole. My damp hands clutched the mattress as a figure rose unevenly from the shadow, standing slowly as if someone was tearing one and one of his long limbs open, folding him out like a crumpled piece of paper.

Then the shadow stepped out into the room and set its beady eyes on me.  His face slit into two as he revealed a row of sharp teeth.

Hello, darling.

***

They found the girl a week later.

Mother had brought Father Matthews and his colleagues with her. After days of searching, they found Sophia. The girl now turned to them with a smile too wide for her tiny features, her teeth pink from the blood dripping from her mouth.

“Mom?” the girl cried, but her voice sounded muffled. “Help me!”  

“She sounds normal,” her mother said to Father Matthews, but it rang more like a question than a statement.

Tears ran in clear stripes down Sophia’s grimy face as she took a step closer. She opened her mouth again, but instead of speaking, she spat out a slimy ball of feathers, flesh, and bones at her mother’s feet.

Mother gasped and Sophia tilted her head as if surprised. “Here, I made you a bracelet,” she continued in the most angelic voice. Her mother screamed when she saw the gift. It was a bracelet made of freshly peeled bones, with remains of skin and feathers still hanging onto them.

Sophia’s eyebrows knitted together. “Shh, mom. No screaming, remember?”

“God be with us,” Father said and smacked the bracelet out of Sophia’s hand. She snarled at him, but when she saw his frightened expression, she broke out into a laughter so guttural and rumbling it could never have belonged to that little girl. Despite their fear, Father Matthews and the priests attempted to carry the girl home.

It took two broken noses and a bit-off finger to get her home, and Sophia was yet again chained to the bed.

The priests came into the room with their golden crosses and white collars, thinking the girl was someone they could save. But I would not surrender. My icy hands were already reaching into the girl’s brain, my presence was pouring in like cement. The words from the priests’ mouths pinched the girl’s body, and the drops of Holy Water formed angry blisters on her skin.

“…Omnis fallaciae, libera nos, dominates. Exorcizamus you omnis immundus spiritus,” the priests yelled in unison, and the girl squirmed in the bed, her bones cracking in impossible angles. “Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio…”

With a growl, Sophia’s body levitated off the bed, the rope around her joints the only thing keeping her in place. Words from long dead languages poured over her lips as her eyes rolled back into her skull. Her voice became darker and darker until my voice took over. The priests glanced at each other, their pathetic faces warped in fear.  

I granted an extra ounce of strength to the girl’s body and she ripped herself away from her chains.

Father Matthews was trembling, but still he dared to demand: “What is your name, demon?”

I chuckled and the girl trembled from the volume so unnatural to her tiny body. With a jerk of her head, I sent Father Matthew flying into the wall. The priests stared as he folded over, blood gushing from his head. The girl’s mother came running into the room and went paler than the dead when she saw her daughter. 

“In God’s name I comm-” a priest started, but a bestial rumble whipped through the room, splitting the roof open to a pitch-black sky.

“I’m afraid this is the last stop for you,” I hissed and sent the girl leaping across the room. She stopped in front of her mother with a grin creeping up on her face. For the last words her mother would ever hear, I allowed the girl to pronounce them in her own voice: “God can’t save you now.”

[adauntlessangel]

💗

[Long Post Warning][You’ve Been Warned]

Zoey & Dustin

First off, these two are a whole mess of complicated and cute. It all started off on one depressing, and typical, Valentine’s Day. Of course our two lovely hereos here were out and about at the local drinking hole. Dustin was surrounded by a bunch of arrogant lions who were like ‘lmao we can’t get that cute little blonde with our demeaning and jerky pick-up lines.’ and then this little cute cub emerges and is all like ‘I GOT THIS DUDE’ so, of course, our young lioness here is just out to mourn the fact she has no social life, and enjoy a good drink and some cheese fries! That in turn landed here right smck dab where they are right now. Happily in love and in a relaitonship NO ONE saw coming. Because come on, in any other universe Zoey and Dustin probably would have never met. It’s fate, right? Well, these two love birds at the epitomty of abosoltute fluff and smush and just downright friggin’ adorable. 

Down to being serious though. 

Zoey grew up in a home that was less than ideal for a girl like her. She grew up not trusting men because of it, and deep down she was always afraid of being hurt. Or betrayed, hell, even getting stuck in the same scenario her mother had been. So, when she met Dustin at first she fell instantly because he truly was a sweet and honest guy. That, on top of the fact he was a police officer, it added some extra faith into her broken soul that maybe she found a good guy. Somewhere down the line, a few months maybe even nearly a year in, Zoey most definitely would have been getting cold feet. Thing about Dustin is, he knows Zoey, all her quirks, what she likes and oesn’t like. He’s that one rare guy that pays attention to detail. Like, Zoey loves cheesefries but not the soggy crap. No. The fries nee to be crisp but not burnt and if you add either a rootbeer float or some type of milkshake into the mix, you’ve got a very happy Zoey on your hands. Well, I can see Dustin noticing Zoey is pushing him away, that she’s internally shutting down because come on now, lets be honest, no guy is THAT perfect (right?)

Apparently, there is. Instead of letting her push him away, Dustin more thank likely, tries harder. Proving to our broken little blonde here that she’s not alone and once she tells him about her past. About her father and the abuse she and her mother were subjected too, she can only imagine what he would do in response. After all, he is an officer of the law…who knows what Dustin could come up with? 

After the rise and fall of a few months, a new era, so to speak, begins. Zoey starts a healing process. Our big band author turns a new leaf and becomes someone she could have never known to be without her protector, and absolutely adorable boyfriend, Dustin. 

See, he’s not just the boyfriend or the protector. He’s the cuddle monster. He is the guy she can call at 2 am who will come rushing over if she had a nightmare. He is the guy who will check her security system 3 times before leaving if her scary father comes into town with less than good intentions. He is that guy who will bring her flowers and pizza into work and force her to stop and to take a break because she skipped lunch and breakfast. He is that guy who will take her car to get the oil changed and washed because he knows she hates it, and she usually goes about 5000 miles past the ideal time to have it done and he just can’t stand to see a car suffer like that. 

He is THAT guy. He is THE guy.

He’s her guy. 

Their relationship is like yin and yang. He balances her out whens he’s ready to fall apart, and she brings parts of him to life he had never nown before. At the end of the day, they’re like a clown fish and a sea aneneme. One can’t survive without the other. It just doesn’t make sense. 

Bryce & Emilia

Alright, if you thought Dustin and Zoey were complicated, confusing, and irrational. Then. LOL. Jokes on you. 

Bryce and Emilia are…well, like fire and water. 

So this little mondern day version of Romeo and Juliet (No one has died from their love. Yet. It is bound to happen. Will, I mean you. HAHA just kidding. Continue with the story..) Bryce and Emilia met through Bryce’s older brother Will, who was also Emilia’s best friend. The whole thing started off as an act of defiance on Bryce’s end. Platonically disobeying Will’s request to leave Emilia alone becaus she truly was a good girl. Whereas Bryce was never a committed man, and truly, not a good guy at all. He liked to fuck around and play with people, that was all he knew. (We think it’s derived from the fact he has mommy/daddy issues. But we’ll get to that later!) So, when he meets this girl who has limited experience, and she’s genuinely kind…something happens. Emilia knew all too well about Bryce’s reputation. After all, he was her best friend’s brother. Thing of it was…Emilia swore she felt something different when they were together. She’d seen Bryce with other girls now and again, but maybe it was delusion or arrogance. Though our kindhearted girl swore Bryce looked at her differently. Thing of it was, she was probably just seeing Bryce look at her with that ‘I’m purely doing this to piss my brother off, not because I like you’ even though Bryce admitted full frontal to Will of how he thought Emilia was attractive. Our issues with this couple begin in just the start of their relationship. While Emilia thinks Bryce is changing and that they were off to a good start, Mr. Matthew’s here was off sleeping around behind ehr back. Though, he probably still thinks it meant nothing since it was just in the start and they were simply ‘dating’ at the time. Emilia began suspecting things after the honeymoon phase for her wore off. After all, Bryce was known for his behavior and his lack of commitment. So when they surpassed his record for dating (and continued making a new one) the paranoia seeped in. How could it not? Bryce had never been in a relaitonship this long and Emilia wasn’t sure how to react. So, instead of clinging to him and trying to distance herself…it was the little things that kept her involved. Like on the weekends he would come over and they would spend all day watching Netflix and eating take out. Or when they made love, it felt more intense for her than with the one guy before him. (Limited experience was kind of hurting her here). 

Unable to stop herself, Emilia was falling in love with the monster so to speak. Or perhaps a time bomb would be a better comparison? Regardless, it was happening. Maybe, just maybe he was changing for her. Maybe she was finally what he wanted and lord knows he was what she wanted. But, then reality came crashing home like a wrecking ball through a glass house. New Years Eve. It had been Emilia’s will to drag Bryce to one of her friend’s parties to ring in the New Year. Bryce of course, didn’t want to go originally but, somehow he gave in to the girls pleas. Something she would regret before the New Year came in. It was nearly time for the ball to drop and Emilia was talking with one of her friends. Out of arrogance or perhaps blind faith, she assumed Bryce would come find her before the ball dropped. She trusted him that much. She loved him, why wouldn’t she trust him? 

So when the New Year came and everyone was kissing around – everyone except her…that was when she saw the truth. Bryce was kissing her childhood best friend Lindsey. It wasn’t just a quaint little peck either. Alcohol involved or not…she trusted him and he broke that. Sadly enough he didn’t believe he had done anything wrong. He did it to “get her attention”. Then when he noticed his weak attempts at blaming her for his actions didn’t work…did he realize she was truly done. It’s one thing to assume someone was cheating on you but had no evidence. It was something else entirely when that evidence was thrust upon you at a part where all of your friends were. Let alone with your bestfriend.

So, she left that party alone, shattered, and broken. Two weeks went by before she even bothered to leave her room. She was completely ruined, she loved him. She had fought with everyone for so long that Bryce was a good guy, that he was changing. That he would never hurt her. Well, that was her own stupidity at work. You would think a break up shouldn’t hit her so hard, especially when it was with someone like Bryce. The truth of the matter was, he honestly seemed to care for her. Why else would he sleep over, not have sex, and just simply fall asleep holding her at night? Why..why..why..

To make matters worse, Will didn’t seem to show as much compassion for Emilia as she thought he would. Instead, he only made matters worse over some texts and she just refused to speak to anyone after the fact. She could barely look people in the eye, that was how badly Bryce had ruined her. It wasn’t just her, it was everyone. Her best friend, everyone she knew at that party. It followed her around. He truly embarassed her to a point she considered taking what money she had and leaving town for a while. 

Somehow through her despair though, Emilia decided she wouldn’t let him win. Who was he to destroy her entirely? He was nothing. A no one. A jerk. So, by some miracle she stopped crying and she forced herself to believe she was going to be okay. It was easier to believe a liet han face the truth at this point. 

It shocked everyone when she announced she had a date for Valentine’s Day. Perhaps Bryce had made her form a heart of ice, because deep down the only reason she even put as much effort into her outfit (victoria’s secret lingerie and all) was if she and her date bumped into her ex and whatever slut he would have on his arm. 

Finally, Emilia thought she had done something right when Valentine’s Day approached. Flowers had followed her all around town, several being delivered to her home. Cute little notes complimenting and saying things in regard to her looks. She finally felt whole again. That maybe for once she found a nice guy. Only for the true horror to begin when she opened her door and Bryce was standing there. An expensive dress hidden beneath a beautiful box, and the male seemed to have dressed up as well. Apparently he assumed she would have been miserable, in her pajamas and crying over him. The shock on his face was priceless. 

Though he managed to break her again when he confessed the flowers, everything, had been sent from him. Shocking to believe, right? Why would he go out of his way to send her things? Surely it was some kind of trick. A way to get into her panties one last time and boast about how easily he could do it. 

Turns out laides and gentleman, the nice girl managed to worm her way into the bad boys heart. He couldn’t replace her, how could he? She was the one person who fought to see the good in him, the one person who believed in him. Probably the only person to ever truly love him…how could he simply believe he could move on from that? Compared to all of the other girls she was perfect. He couldn’t live without her, granted he had sex with other girls during their break-up. Something he thinks is logical and perhaps in a way he is right. But, at the end of the day, if you really love a girl, you shouldn’t be able to have sex with anyone else. Period. 

After some banter between the two of them, he broke through her walls once again and she foolishly let him back into her heart. 

Right, well, Emilia and Bryce’s second chance seemed to be going an awful lot stronger than the first time. He seemed to have elarned his lesson that Emilia was worth more than a million one night stands, and apparently, for Bryce, that was a good thing. Issue is, Bryce is controlling. It’s hard to explain how he does it without going on for ages, but simply put, Emilia is his, and his alone. He doesn’t want her around her friends (Will especially) encase they convince her to leave him again. The big bad boy can’t handle feeling his little heart be broken by her once again. (He’d probably die if he felt a fraction of the pain Emilia did JS)

Emilia and Bryce’s relationship is the classic old, she’s to good for him, and he’s not good enough for her couple. Emilia wants children and I have a feeling to get them in the future she is having with Bryce, she may or may not need to take things into her own hands. Skipping out on birth control or convincing him to forget the condom. Bryce is selfish, he purely wants Emilia all to himself and no one else. Not even their children. He’s afraid of her loving someone more than him. He’s controlling and compelling, but, Emilia hopes in the future she’ll be able to tame him. 

Since they’ve conquered the crazy part of their relationship, Emilia is going to try her hardest to fully change him. He’ll have to learn that if he wants her in his ife, he’ll have to meet her halfway. Kids. Marriage. The big house wiht a white fence. Thing of it is, will he be able to do it or is this little rendevous a lost cause? I persoanlly have no idea how they will end, but I have a feeling another catastrphoe wills trike before they both get whateve rhappily ever after they recieve.