#haha before my brother got sick both of my parents didn’t bother wearing a fucking mask in this heat wave

[jpasionr]

forever glaring at the person who got my brother sick with co/vid because it turns out

I’m positive for it <////3

[ewgoals]

Phoenix (1)

Chapter one- 1985

1985 

Word count- 7,621 

Trigger warnings- Drug Use, Cursing, Racist slurs,smoking,underage drinking,fighting, underage sex mentioned, cult themes.

A/N: This is Chapter one of Phoenix, please let me know how you are feelings about this. I am very excited for this, also did you catch the reference or am I too old haha. This isn’t how Harry lost his virginity it’s how the person this book is based off did.

Tatianna Deluca was born on September 24th,1968; She was the fifth child born to Agina and Benito Deluca. Agina and Benito were both immigrants coming to America when they met. Agina Chernyshevsky was born on January 15th, 1942; in Moscow, Russia, she was the only girl born into three boys. Agina’s parents sent her and her brothers to America in 1958, wanting to make sure their children had the best life they could, Agina lived with an aunt for a little while until she met Benito Deluca. Benito Deluca was born on July 18th, 1940, in Venice, Italy. 

Benito was the youngest boy of six boys; the family left Italy when Benito was 16. Benito worked various jobs through New York until he finally settled on a restaurant in Brooklyn, New York. Agina and Benito met in 1958 when Agina went into the restaurant wanting to try a New York pizza for the first time, Benito loved the thick Russian accent that the short young woman had plus Agina had a beauty like no other with her bright blonde and stunning green eyes and olive skin. Benito was hooked; what he didn’t know was that Agina had pretty similar feelings towards the man as well. Agina could feel herself falling in love with his bright blue eyes and dark hair; he kind of reminded her of old blue eyes himself, Frank Sinatra. Benito finally got the courage to get to ask Agina onto a date after she came into the restaurant for the sixth time that week, Agina agreed with no looking back. Benito and Agina were married on July 15th,1959. 

Agina and Benito went on to have their first child a few months later, on May 6th, 1960. Agina and Benito both weren’t very fluid with English, so they often talked to their children in either Russian or Italian, depending on which parent they were speaking with, often relying on American music and American Television to teach their children English. All of the children quickly picked up the third language and found almost comfort in music, which led the oldest five to take up an instrument. 

Tatianna growing up was a devout catholic just like her family, they would wake up at 6 am just to make it to mass at 7 am. Tatianna would often spend her time in church making fun of her brother’s in the tuxes they would wear, but they would often make fun of the dress their sister would be forced to wear. The kid’s parents would often slap them behind the head to make them stop talking. As Tatianna became more involved in church life, the woman began singing for the choir. She would often be given the parts, where she was hitting high notes and long notes. The young girl was 15 when a record executive saw her singing in the choir and asked her parents if she could join the small girl group he wanted to create, the parents knew that their daughter wanted to be a singer, so they quickly agreed. 

May, 1985

Tatianna was moved to Los Angeles, California. When she was 17 after her parents gave her older brother Illya temporary custody of the young woman, Tatianna wasn’t really into the music, the girl group which now went by the name “through thick and thin”  she hated it. They were a typical pop group whose songs were written by other people and had no real heart behind them. Tatianna would often tell her brother about it, but she didn’t want to bother him too much, so she would often keep it inside her. 

Tatianna was sitting in the studio as the girls were recording their new album. She was getting sick of listening to this girl Ashley sing the same line repeatedly because she was often flat with her delivery of the line. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in like an hour,” the producer just nodded as the woman grabbed a pack of cigarettes and left. She was walking around sunset blvd; she was like a kid in a candy store. The woman loved all of the stories coming out of this strip, and the bands that played here we what she wanted to be, Tatianna shook her head as she lit another cigarette standing across the street from the famous Troubadour. 

Tatianna remembered reading a magazine a few years back where the Rolling Stones called in one of the world’s best rock clubs; she was taken out of her thoughts by something hitting her. The woman gasped as she felt the front of her being covered in liquid “what the fuck” the woman’s thick New York accent mixed heavily with a Russian one, especially when she was angry. “I’m so sorry,” an English accent spoke before Tatianna sighed a little as she helped the young boy up “it’s fine, I guess I was to blame too. I wasn’t paying attention” the boy nodded as he said “where are you from because that doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard” the woman just smiled as she spoke, “I’m from Brooklyn, but my mother is from Russia, so it comes out more when I am yelling I am Tatianna by the way.” 

The boy nodded as she finished, “Oh, sorry. I’m Harry” The woman just smiled a little curly-haired boy in front of her as she laughed a little “well, Harry, I wish I could say it was nice to meet you. Still, you kinda ruined my shirt” Harry laughed a little as he looked down at the woman’s outfit, she was wearing a pair of high waisted leather pants that she paired with a crop top of the musician Elton John before Harry quickly dug into his pockets and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. He handed it to the woman. “Here that should replace it,” the woman shook her hand as she pushed his hand backNo,o. you are a baby, keep your money. I’ll just make my brother give me his” Harry raised an eyebrow as he quickly came back with, “I’m not a baby. I am fifteen.” 

Tatianna laughed as she smiled “you are a baby. I have a little brother just your age.” the man shook his head as he said, “I’m not arguing this. You are wrong” Harry said stubbornly before Tatianna just laughed “here how about this I have to go back to the studio to record some stupid ass songs that I can’t stand why don’t you pay me back by keeping me company because my brother even bailed on me today.” 

Harry smiled as he nodded ‘Just let me call my mom and tell her” as soon as the word’s left his mouth, Tatianna laughed “see a baby” Harry looked down as he shouted “okay you win that” Tatianna laughed as she lit another cigarette and motioned with her head “come on little boy” Harry just laughed as the walked back to the studio, Harry asked about Tatianna’s large family and Tatianna asked about Harry’s career.

When they finally arrived at the studio, they walked into a shit show to say the less, Ashley was screaming in the face of the other bandmate Aquanette, better known as Aqua to everyone she cared for. Tatianna was about to leave when she heard Ashley say “I am the only talent in the band, I am stuck with Jungle bunny and a Nazi oh wait I’m sorry she’s also a Guido” The thick southern accent of the woman finished as Tatianna finally pushed Ashley back out of Aqua’s face “you better back the fuck up before you end up on the floor” Ashley quickly got into Tatianna’s face “Suka, luchshe vernis', prezhde chem ya pozvonyu dyade.” 

(Bitch better back up before I call my uncle.)

The woman spoke between her teeth as Ashley said, “Hitler needs to calm down” Tatianna rolled her eyes as she said, “I’m Russian, you dumb cunt. I helped stop Hitler, you dumbass hick” Tatianna stayed in the face of the woman as she felt a familiar hand grab her elbow as Harry almost looked scared “Why don’t we leave.” the thick English accent spoke as Tatianna nodded before she left the woman quickly punched the other woman in the face as she grabbed her purse and her leather jacket. Harry smiled sweetly at the woman as they left the building Tatianna grabbed another cigarette lighting it and taking a deep drag as she closed her eyes “That was pretty cool, I wasn’t expecting that left hook” the woman laughed shaking her head “I have four older brothers I need a good left hook to survive” Harry laughed as looked over at her just smiling as he did so. 

Tatianna was about to make a joke before she heard her brother Ilya deep voice yell, “what the fuck. I left you alone for a day, and you hit one of them” Tatianna’s New York accent came out as she said, “Fuck You! That racist ass bitch got what was coming. She called me a nazi, but that’s not why I punched her. She called Aqua a jungle bunny” Ilya just shook his head. “Uncle John would be proud” Tianna shook her head before pointing at Harry “this is my friend. He spilled coffee on my shirt, but he’s still my friend,” she joked. The curly-haired boy next to her laughed a little and stuck out his hand “Harry Styles it’s nice to meet you” the man said, Ilya stuck out his hand and shook the other man’s hand “so where to next?” 

Tatianna smiled as she said, “let’s get curly over here a fake ID, and let’s go see this new band Guns n roses” Harry smiled before saying, “you can do that?” Tatianna nodded as she smiled “Oh, you poor sheltered boy. Yes, we can do that” Harry nodded as he smiled “yeah let’s do that” Ilya smiled as he said “let’s go find a payphone and get you an ID” The three made their way to the apartment that the studio pays for after getting the face of ID for Harry. They wait a few hours before leaving for the Troubadour. 

Once they arrived, Tatianna felt an arm wrap around her waist before she had time to react. “I knew you would come,” Tatianna squealed as she turned around and hugged the man tightly. “Axl!” the older man laughed as he hugged her back, rubbing her back. “Oh let me see what you are wearing” the man joked as he pulled away as the woman did a little turn, he looked her up and down seeing that she changed into a high waisted black skirt, that she pulled up too much to make it into a mini skirt. She paired it a white crop top with the logo from the band Guns n roses “I know my boobs aren’t that impressive, but hey once I get the money they will be done” Axl laughed as he smiled “you look gorgeous” the man hugged her again and kissed her cheek as he squeezed her ass which made her gasp as she laughed. 

Harry saw the situation and couldn’t help but get a little jealous of the situation; the man didn’t want to admit it because he barely knew the girl, but he couldn’t help himself. The young boy walked away from the two very familiar friends and went over to the bar and handed the bartender his fake ID and ordered a random drink; the man was on his second drink before Tatianna saw him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder’s “Hey there you are baby. I thought a lost you” Harry smiled as he looked down, “yeah, I felt awkward.” 

Tatianna smiled as she ordered herself a drink before she said, “Oh, honey. That’s a good friend of mine. I met him while I was trying to sneak into a concert. If I’m honest, he took my virginity but don’t tell my mom” Harry looked over at the woman as he nodded “My mom made a tent in the back yard and gave me condoms” he joked looking at her as Tatianna smiled before pouting “You aren’t a virgin? Damn, I wanted to take it” the woman joked as she winked at the man finishing her drink before she ordered another one “I haven’t been a virgin since I was four” Tatianna looked at him confused “what?” 

Harry looked down as he said, “my first sexual experience was when he was aged four. Living in Venezuela with his peripatetic family – who were subscribed to the Children of God kids were coerced into performing sexual acts with parents and other children. But I’ve blocked it out. I was completely celibate from ten to 14. I haven’t really had sex with many people. So, I decided to lose my ‘second virginity,’ you know, because he lost my first when I was four. So, I decided to drop it to this older girl I knew, and strangely enough, I asked my parents for permission. Instead of just saying yes, my parents put a tent in the backyard for me to get it on in, and they ‘decorated it to enhance the mood.” Tatianna just looked at him, shocked. 

Tatianna went to speak, but Ilya said, “Hey, take this. I’m going to this girl’s place. Tell Axl to take you home after” Tatianna took the vile from the man and nodded as she turned back to Harry. “Listen, that’s fucked up. I thought the catholic religion was bad, but wow. I’m sorry that happened” Harry shook his head, “what’s in the vile?” Tatianna shook her head “nothing you need to get your hands on, let’s enjoy the show” Tatianna ordered a couple more drinks as she smiled “come on” the woman pulled him into the crowd as she got closer to the stage, she felt Harry be pressed up against her. The woman smiled as she reached behind and pulled him closer, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist as they looked up at stage “see, I can protect you.” 

Harry smiled at his hand around the woman’s waist before looking up as he smiled gently, the woman finished into her drink as she placed it on the floor and leaned down putting the vile her brother gave her into her nose and took a deep breath in snorting a small amount of the powder into her nose. She threw her head back before running her finger over her teeth. “Fuck” Harry was confused, but he didn’t question it too much, they enjoyed themselves during the concert quickly leaving afterward. Harry was drunk, but Tatianna was utterly shit faced, she was high as well as drunk. 

When the two teenagers arrived back at her apartment, Tatianna grabbed Harry’s shirt, “Nope. You are staying with me. I’m not letting mommy yell at me because her baby is drunk” Harry laughed as he followed her up to the apartment, as soon as she was in her own house she quickly pulled off her shirt “Thank god” she said as Harry smiled at the woman “I’ll sleep on the couch, get some rest” Tatianna shook her head “you’ve been dancing with me all night and feeling up on me too. You can sleep with me” Harry nodded as he followed her into the bedroom. “If you are more comfortable,” Tatianna admitted as Harry smiled “No. I’m excellent.” 

The duo fell asleep shortly after; they were cuddled up when they woke up the next morning Tatianna just smiled at Harry cuddled up to her as she slowly sat up and stretched her back out. The woman looked down and took a deep breath as she saw herself in her PJs, “thank god,” she whispered as Harry spoke, “don’t seem so disappointed” Tatianna laughed as she said, “Maybe when you are older Harry.” 

The two friends remained close ever since then, they would always hang out, and when they couldn’t, they would call the other on the home phone in their house. Tatianna just looked at Harry as a friend, but it was evident that Harry felt different, the man would always find a reason to compliment Tatianna or tell her that she was the most talented girl in the world. Tatianna would always tell him that he was good for her ego, but she never really let him take it farther than that. 

June 1985

Tatianna was shocked when Harry invited her to the set of Stand By me; she was also completely taken back when she saw her curly-haired boy with a clean-shaven head, it took the woman a few minutes to even recognize the boy she cared about so much. The woman couldn’t believe that he cut his hair, she already missed the curls of the man, she just shook her head at the shock “Hey beautiful boy” was all she said as he hugged her “Hey Titi” the woman smiled at the nickname her family gave her “come on show me around please.” the man nodded as he took her hand and led her into the closed set. 

Tatianna gripped Harry’s hand as she felt eyes staring at her, the woman tried to calm herself down by telling herself that they were just trying to figure out who the woman. Tatianna kept telling herself until she heard a female voice said, “That’s the girl who attacked her bandmate” Tatianna just looked down, trying not to cry as she gripped Harry’s hand tighter “Harry, I should go” was all she whispered. Still, he turned back “Hey, you just got here” Tatianna just shook her head as whispered “Harry, these people hate me because of what happened with Ashley” Harry just hugged the woman tightly as he ran his hand down her back “come on, let’s go to my trailer” the woman wiped her eyes as Harry led her back to his trailer. 

As soon as the door closed in the trailer, the woman broke down. Tatianna felt like she couldn’t stop the tears as she tried to catch her breath, she wasn’t one to cry about some words that were said about her but more than anything the situation frustrated her which caused the tears to fall. Harry was quick to be by her side as she put her face in his lap, he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her dark locks as he whispered “You did the right thing with Ashley” The woman shook her head as she sat up “clearly I didn’t I’m being called unprofessional and reckless. She called Aqua, a jungle monkey. I mean, yes, it could’ve been worst, but it’s still racist as fuck” Harry nodded as the woman spoke through her tears.

“I know that beautiful girl; you did what any good human would’ve done” Tatianna looked up at the man, as he wiped her tears away “I will protect you from them, please stay” Tatianna nodded as Harry placed his hand on her cheek, she relaxed into his palm as she closed her eyes “Thank you sweet boy” Harry smiled as he leaned forward and kissed the woman’s forehead. Tatianna stood up, and Harry wasn’t far behind her as she grabbed his hand “Ashley is a stupid whore” Harry shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll always have my girl’s back,” Tatianna laughed as she wrapped her arm around his waist “I’ll be your girl when you can grow a beard” “shit” The duo laughed. 

Tatianna was sitting in Harry’s chair as they went through the scene they were filming, Tatianna closed her eyes as she listened to the various lines that Harry was speaking. Harry’s English accent was completely gone and replaced with an American one; this caused Tatianna to open her eyes and watch the man in front of the camera. He grabbed her attention; he almost demanded her attention much different from his shy self that Tatianna loved so much. When the director called cut, the woman shook her head as he smiled at her boy, walking towards her. 

“What did you think?” Tatianna couldn’t help but smile as she spoke, “You were beyond amazing already. I can’t wait to see it completely.” the woman went to talk as she heard someone fake cough as they said “Whore” Tatianna to roll her eyes as she turned around looking at the woman who just fake coughed, Tatianna just smirked as she fake coughed as well “Cunt” the woman cleared her throat as she spoke “Sorry I had something in my throat before I called you a cunt” Harry tried not to laugh as she took her hand walking away from the pathetic woman. 

Harry and Tatianna finally finished at the studio that day, as they were leaving Tatianna made sure to flip the woman off once more as she wrapped her arm tightly around Harry’s waist. When the inseparable duo finally made their way outside, the woman let go of Harry’s waist as she ran her hand over his short hair “please tell me it’s a joke” Harry laughed as he shook his head “Sorry beautiful, it’s all real, but my hair grows back super quick, so I’m not worried.” Tatianna, as she smiled, “well, if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.” Harry smiled as he said, “and you said that I’m good for your ego” Harry laughed as Tatianna smiled as she looked over at him and smiled, “what to go out again?” Harry smiled as he looked down at his wallet to make sure he had this fake ID “Sure. if they will still take this” 

Tatianna couldn't help but smile “okay, I’ll meet you at the whiskey in like two hours” Harry nodded as he kissed her cheek as Tatianna just smiled as he walked back into the movie studio, Harry couldn’t wait until he was done he missed hanging out with Tatianna due to both of them having such a busy schedule. Harry was finally back on the set, looking around for his co-star, finally settling on Corey Feldman. “Hey man,” the quirky kid just smiled as Harry put his hand on his shoulder. “Did you see her?” Corey laughed as he smiled at the other boy. “Yes, Harry, we all saw the brunette with blue eyes and legs that go on, and the ass that won’t quit” Harry lightly slapped the boy’s head “Shut up. I’m going to convince her to be mine today.” 

Corey laughed as he shook his head “No you aren’t she is a rock girl, she wants the sex, drugs and rock n roll. You will never be that guy. She looks at you like a little brother. If you keep on this trail, you will just make yourself sad. Why don’t you ask that one girl who keeps calling you?” Harry looked a little disappointed that Corey was more than likely right about his situation with Tatianna, but Harry nodded, “Yeah, Martha is a nice girl. I guess I should just ask her out already” Corey nodded as he placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder “Maybe one day you’ll get your rockstar girl but no way in hell you’ll be able to get her with your baby face” Harry rolled his eyes as he pushed the other boy’s hand away “Yeah Yeah Yeah I know. She’s too pretty for me.” 

Corey shook his head as he said, “quite the opposite you are both beautiful people, she is just in a different mindset. You are looking forever, which is rare in a fifteen-year-old, and she’s looking for right now and how much fun she can have.” Harry nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Corey “I don’t know why that helped me a lot, but you did.” Corey smiled as he pointed at his head “I’m pretty smart, but I act like I’m stupid, so people don’t expect my smartness” Harry smiled sweetly at the other kid “You are beyond smart. You should show it more often.” 

Harry went over to The Whiskey A GO GO as he planned with Tatianna a few hours earlier, the man looked around trying to find his friend. When he finally saw his friend she was on the dance floor with a guy dancing behind her, the woman was wearing a pink bra that made her boobs look amazing. She paired it with a black fishnet crop top, the woman’s slim stomach was out, she had a white pair of shorts and a black pair of boots. He could see her long socks, poking out the boots. Harry couldn’t take his eyes away from the way the woman swung her hips as she moved them against the man’s groin, Harry saw the man’s arms wrap around Tatianna’s stomach and the other around her neck pushing her closer to him. 

Harry looked at the two on the dance floor recognizing the tattoo on the man’s arm; Harry knew it was Axl Rose. The young man just sighed as he went to leave; he couldn’t deal with it. He knew that he just had what people would call a schoolboy crush on Tatianna, but he felt like it was more than that, it had only been two months, but he knew that he wanted her. He wanted all of her. He wanted the woman who stood up when others were scared too; he wanted the woman who demanded anyone’s attention and often would never let another person interrupt her. Harry finally walked out of the bar with tears in his eyes, maybe Corey was right. Perhaps he should call Martha. 

July 1985

When July came around, Tatianna noticed that Harry wasn’t talking to her as much, she would often avoid her calls, and when she would show up to his house, he would make an excuse for why he was busy. Tatianna was beginning to have her feelings hurt. Still, she really couldn’t let it affect her, seeing as she was leaving for a tour. The woman would begin a year-long tour around America, and it would start in Alabama of all places or as Tatianna’s brother so nicely put it, cousin fucker state. Tatianna was leaving the next day making sure she said goodbye to Axl and the few friends she made from knowing Axl, the woman was going to force Harry to at least spend an hour with her if anything just to say goodbye. 

Ilya told her this plan was stupid, but she did it anyway; Tatianna decided that she was going to get all dressed up, and maybe that would convince Harry well at least his teenage boy hormones to want to hang out with her. Tatianna found a tight pair of white jeans that hugged her body in every perfect way it could; she went with a long cut tank top that she stuffed into the pants. Tatianna did her makeup just like she did the night. Harry told her that she had the most beautiful eyes making sure to make them pop more. Once she finished with her hair, she left for Harry’s house he shared with his family. Tatianna knocked as Harry opened the door the younger man looked almost nervous. 

Tatianna raised an eyebrow as she said, “Hey, love, I’m leaving tomorrow. I was kinda hoping we could hang out?” Harry looked back behind the half-opened door. “Umm. Tatianna now is not a good time” the woman tried to cover the hurt in her eyes as much as she could when she heard Harry say her full name “Oh, um sorry. I guess I’ll see you next year,” the woman said, smiling as best as she could. When she went  to walk away, she heard a very unfamiliar female voice said “Harry, where did I leave my shirt” this caused the woman to turn around as a young blonde walked out of Harry’s house and said, “Okay, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

 The young girl who looked to be just about Harry’s age walked back Tatianna not giving her a second glance, the older of the three people just laughed “that’s why you have been busy?” the New York accent running through Harry’s ears as he tried to cover his embarrassment “My goodness! I thought you hated me! You never came to the whiskey that night, so I thought people convinced you that they were right about me. Harry, you can tell me you have a girlfriend.” Harry smiled as Tatianna found the perfect excuse for him without having to admit his feelings. 

Tatianna smiled as she reached out, “can you please come to hang out with me?” Harry took the woman’s hand as he closed the door behind him, the woman smiled wide “Okay, I’ll hang out with you.” the man joked as Tatianna intertwined their fingers “come on I found this cute little restaurant” Harry raised an eyebrow “I’m Vegan Titi” the woman smiled at her nickname as she said. “I know that Harry, I made sure that you can eat” the man shook his head “No, I’m taking you somewhere to make up for me getting all weird” The woman silently agreed as they began walking in the opposite direction. 

Tatianna was honestly going to give up on this whole thing until Harry brought her to a private beach. It honestly looked like nobody was ever here. Harry broke the silence as he said, “I found this the night I stood you up at the whiskey” Tatianna shook her head “It’s all good. You stood me up, but I don’t mind. I mean, it hurt my feelings, but you were with a girl it’s fine” the young boy shook his head “No I wasn’t. I saw you dancing with Axl, and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I left” Tatianna looked at Harry, confused as she said “Yeah we were dancing? Why didn’t you come to say Hi? Axl loves you. He says you are a little brother he’s always wanted.” 

Harry rolled his eyes as he spoke, “because he was all over you, you said you lost your virginity to him so I assumed you were going to leave together why get in the way?” Tatianna did her best to find the perfect words as she said “Harry, I think Axl is a great man. He’s talented and smart but he’s not the guy I would sleep with more than once well I guess twice. He’s my best friend and we were dancing like that because these guys kept groping me” Harry looked down at the floor as she kept speaking “I was excited to spend some time with you but instead you came to a beach alone” Harry nodded as he said “I had to think about some stuff. About our friendship” 

Tatianna looked visibly hurt as she just laughed “great they got to you too” the woman said turning around shaking her head “you are big boy walk home by yourself” Harry quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him, they were face to face “let me go, Harry. I want to go home” the man shook his head “No, listen to me nobody got to me I was thinking about our friendship because it’s so much more to me Titi” Tatianna was confused until Harry leaned and kissed her softly, the woman didn’t react at first before she kissed him back. The woman felt his arms wrap around her waist, Tatianna placed her hand on his arm as she pulled away resting her forehead against Harry’s as she whispered “Harry” The boy shook his head as he whispered back “No, I don’t want to hear you are like a brother to me or that I’m too young.” 

Tatianna smiled sweetly as the boy in front of her as she whispered “How about while I’m gone you think about your feelings and when you turn 18 if they are the same we can talk about it” The boy shook his head as he said “I will always feel this way for you so what’s the point in waiting” the woman cupped his cheek as she spoke softly “so that you are completely sure and so that you don’t break that little blondes heart” Harry sighed softly as he pulled her close hugging her tightly putting his face in her neck almost inhaling her scent once more, Tatianna hugged him back tightly rubbing his back “I’m looking for forever and you are looking for fun” the woman chuckled a little as she rubbed his back once more “kinda my precious boy.” 

The woman pulled away as she said “I’ll write to you every day I’m on tour. I’m begging you please think with your heart and not your head and find what’s in there please” the girl said kissing the side of his head as she pulled away slowly and made him look at her “I love you Harry and I don’t want to lose you because my heart doesn’t feel this way for you right now” the boy nodded as she kissed his forehead “come on let me walk you home.” 

December 1985 

Tatianna wrote a letter to Harry every night just like she said she would, the women would try their hardest to avoid telling him about the various horrible things that Ashley would say about Aqua or herself. Tatianna didn’t really care about what Ashley said about her if she’s honest, she just cared that Ashley was able to say horrible and negative things about Aqua and her race because of the fact that this so-called manager agreed with Ashley’s racist ass. Tatianna made sure to always sign her letters with the quote “lots of love and always thinking of you” Harry kept every letter in a small box, they made him feel special, it made him feel even more special when he ran into Axl one night on sunset and the older man asked Harry if he had heard from Tatianna. 

It was clear that she was really only writing the letters to him, this sent his heart on fire. He knew that he didn’t need a few more years to think about whether or not Tatianna was the one for him. He knew that she was the one he was meant to be, now he just needed to convince the woman of this as well. He understood why she didn’t want to get with Harry, he was only fifteen what does he know about love but all the boy talked about Tatianna. She was all that was on his mind, she consumed most of his thoughts. She was an addiction and Harry had no plans on kickin it. 

Harry decided that he was going to tell her all of his feelings about her when she came back to Los Angeles for her next concert. He felt it was the perfect option, if she said no then he could have six months to get over the heartbreak before he would see her again. Harry made sure to get himself all dressed up for her concert, he was wearing a pair of khaki skinny jeans that he put a black shirt on but quickly covered it up with an orange sweater. Harry felt it was perfect, nothing too fancy but also something casual so she didn’t get any ideas in case he changed his mind. 

Tatianna was sitting in her dressing room, which she happily shared with Aqua. The woman was finishing her makeup as Aqua spoke “Did you hear that Ashley is trying to go solo?” Tatianna laughed as she began putting away her makeup “I would like to see that. Please don’t get my hopes up”  the other woman laughed as she looked at Tatianna ��girl you need to get out of this band. You are way too talented to be here” Tatianna shook her head “No, I’m not leaving you so unless you agree I’m staying right here with you” Aqua just shook her head “when you leave I will too. I’ll work in your parent’s restaurant” 

Tatianna laughed as she lit her cigarette and took a drag before saying “I’ll hold you to that. I’ve decided if she says anything tonight she’s getting knocked out on stage” Aqua laughed as she shook her head “Please. I’m begging you to just do it at the end of the set” Tatianna smiled as the devil herself walked into the room “Michael Jackson is in the crowd tonight, you two better not try to show me up” The southern accent rang through the room “Shut up. If you speak to me again you will get fucking hit” Tatianna said standing up “Okay little boy, talk to me when you grow some boobs” Aqua quickly grabbed Tatianna as Ashley turned around and slammed the door. 

Tatianna rolled her eyes as she went to her bag and grabbed her outfit for the night, Tatianna put on a pair of high waist black spandex shorts that showed her ass perfectly. The woman put on a red button-up shirt, she tied up to show off her torso “I’m going to kill her tonight” Aqua changed into her stage outfit as Tatianna looked over at her and smiled softly “promise to leave with me” Aqua smiled as she nodded “Yes, You and me” the girl winked. Tatianna walked out of the dressing room and saw Ashley having Harry almost pinned against the wall as she was leaning into Harry. 

Tatianna quickly walked over and pulled the woman away from Harry, the woman put Harry behind her as she said “Ashley, go-to side stage now” Ashley just rolled her eyes as she looked at Harry who looked very nervous “call me” Ashley winked as Tatianna turned around looking at Harry “Are you okay?” the man nodded “Yeah, I was trying to give you these flowers and she kinda attacked me” Tatianna looked down completely heartbroken that she put him in this situation, the woman quickly hugged Harry as he hugged her back he buried his face in her neck again for the first time in a month. Tatianna pulled away as Harry handed her a bouquet of blue tulips as she smiled softly “Oh my goodness thank you.” 

Tatianna took a deep breath of flowers as she kissed Harry’s head-hugging him tightly afterward, the woman closed her eyes for a moment as she took the man’s hand leading him and Aqua towards the side stage. Tatianna pulled Harry close almost making him wrap his arm around her waist “you smell good” Tatianna smiled a little as she heard Harry’s voice next to her ear “well thank you, sweet boy.'' The woman said as she placed her hand on his arm that was wrapped around her torso, the woman handed him her flowers “Stay here and be safe” she said kissing his cheek. 

Tatianna took a breath trying to control her emotions, the woman walked on the dark stage standing where she was supposed to as she took the microphone. Tatianna closed her eyes hearing the first note of the song, the woman hated dancing but she was taught the dance moves so she did them. When Ashley finished her small number, Tatianna finally sang the words “We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is homeless” Aqua and Tatianna  took over the next lines singing with perfectness. “Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that. Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours” 

Ashley looked angry as Aqua and Tatianna’s voice blended perfectly together, Tatianna wasn’t really paying attention to Ashley she was more forced on the boy on the side stage. Tatianna didn’t want to admit that the boy with a little crush on her was causing her a lot of feelings, she knew that she couldn’t be with not until he was older. When he knew that she was what he wanted, she couldn’t be the reason he didn’t find true love. 

Tatianna was taken out of her thoughts by Aqua singing her part “When you're with him, do you call his name Like you do when you're with me, does it feel the same? Would you leave if I was ready to settle down? Or would you play it safe and stay? Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless” 

Tatianna went to start singing as she walked to the other side of the stage, where she was tripped by Ashley. The dark haired fell and hit her face on the stage which caused her to bust open her lip, Ashley gasped trying to play the good guy. Tatianna couldn’t take it anymore; she managed to spit some of her own blood out of her mouth and quickly tackled Ashley onto the floor of the stage. Tatianna had the racist ass bitch pinned down as she threw shot after shot. The women didn’t realize what was happening until she felt familiar hands wrap around her waist and pull her off quickly, Harry lightly shoved Tatianna towards the side stage as medics rushed out to help Ashley. 

Aqua and Harry managed to get Tatianna back into her dressing room, once she was there she began to clean up her own lip “I’m fucking done! I’m going back to New York! I’m going to work in my parents restaurant for the rest of my life and if I see that bitch in New York i’m calling my uncle and I’m going to have him get that bitch” Harry looked a little confused seeing as he’s never heard the woman speak like that and he’s never heard of his restaurant. Tatianna was taken out of her screaming as her older brother walked in “Ты тупая сука. Как мы будем теперь есть?” (You stupid bitch. How are we going to eat now?) 

Tatianna looked down as she closed her eyes trying to avoid them filling with tears, the woman didn’t really even think about her brother in this situation. She was more worried about the fact this woman have the guts to trip her and bust her lip on stage, the woman looked up at her brother with tears in her eyes as she spoke back “Мы можем просто пойти домой, пожалуйста” (Can we please just go home)  

Illya went to argue but sighed softly “Yeah, give me a few minutes.” Aqua followed her brother out of the room, which left Harry and Tatianna “so you are really going back to New York” Tatianna sighed as he spoke before nodding “don’t really have a choice. I don’t have that much money, I’ll go home to my parents and forget this music dream” Harry shook his head “You can’t do that, you are beyond talented. Your voice makes me believe in angels” Tatianna shook her head as she smiled “Thank you but I can’t do this anymore, I need a break from all of this” Harry nodded as he looked down sadly. 

“I’m in love with you” was all the english accent said as Tatianna sighed softly looking down at her vanity desk “Harry, you are fifteen. You don’t know what being in love is” Harry shook his head “yes I do. I know that you are all I think about and when I see you I get this overwhelming feeling in my chest. I know that you feel something too or you would’ve told me to drop it and not wait until i’m eighteen or write only me letters” Tatianna looked up at him as she stood up and walked over to him as she took his hands “Harry, I’m your first real crush. That’s what it is. The girl you lost second virginity too was a girl that you could have sex with.” 

Tatianna kissed his hands before she said “Harry, you are the most amazing kid. Maybe later down the line it will be good for us, right now I don’t even know what is going to happen with my career or my life and how can I get into a relationship with someone who needs to learn more about himself as well as what love is? I need to focus on me. I need to fix myself. I can’t help you find you as well” The woman said as she finally met Harry’s eyes that were filled with tears. Tatianna felt like an asshole but she knew that she was right but he was also right. She did feel something but not enough to ruin what was going on for him. The older woman wrapped her arms tightly around Harry, he did what he always did when they hugged, burying his face in her neck. The two stayed for what felt like hours, in some sick way they both knew this was goodbye. 

Tatianna and her brother Illya packed up the apartment they shared, and took a bus back to New York. California was always going to be in Tatianna’s heart, it was the place she found the purest man and almost gave her heart to him.