#hadnt written a drabble in so long LOL feels nice stretching my fingers out

[sipsteainanxiety]

katsuki's schedule, over the last few weeks, had been packed.

he was out of the apartment before the sun could even poke its sleepy light past the horizon. you grew accustomed to waking up to cool sheets and parted curtains, the smell of tea wafting gently from the kitchen from when he'd made a cup to help him get ready for the day. and he, more often than not, returned just as you were about to slip into bed, fatigue heavy on his battle-worn muscles. there wouldn't be much conversation held, just chaste kisses as he'd quickly eat something and shower so he could finally collapse next to you, out cold before his head even hit his pillow.

you didn't think much of it at first. the life of a pro-hero was bound to be crammed with patrol after patrol, each precious minute dedicated to saving the lives of those who needed help. you did your best to simply support him where you could—there were times where it felt like it was all you could do, really, silly little you. but you knew he appreciated your attempts all the same.

it wasn't until you caught a glimpse of his schedule on his open laptop—that he'd fallen asleep in front of on the living room couch—that you realized just how busy he was.

his entire schedule—from monday to sunday—was packed with patrols, meetings, and more patrols. there was hardly any free space for him to have any sort of free time. if he wasn't on patrol, he was training. if he wasn't training, he was in a meeting. seeing it all lain out before you made you pause.

you didn't get to see what he did once he stepped foot out of your apartment—didn't get to go to his agency to keep an eye on him at all times of the day. so you weren't privy to what exactly he did. but this... seeing his days, his weeks, so filled to the brim... it wasn't healthy. it couldn't be. and it was just for this month in particular too.

you decided to confront him about it one evening as you both rested lazily in bed.

"baby," you whispered as you propped your head up on your hand, your elbow resting on your pillow, "why has your schedule been so crowded lately, hm?"

katsuki gave you a tired hum, his carmine eyes moving from where they'd been blinking heavily up at the ceiling to your gentle face. you took the moment to look at him—really look at him. the bags that lined the bottom of his eyes, the pallor to his skin. and his words, when he spoke, were slightly slurred—intertwining with his weariness. "s'just all part of th' job, y'know."

"i thought you were supposed to have more free time now," you told him with a frown, "the higher you ranked."

he only grunted and gave the smallest of shrugs with his shoulders. you pursed your lips, but didn't say anything else—just lifted a hand and ran it through his spiky hair. across his forehead, down the curve of his cheek. he hummed again—low, broken—and closed his eyes.

it was then that you realized he was doing it on purpose.

he was running from something—purposely filling his schedule with so many things so that he wouldn't have a moment to rest. to let his thoughts filter in. to let himself be alone. he exhausted himself down to the bone so he could collapse at night on your shared bed and dream a dreamless dream.

for all the nitpicking katsuki did at his own regimens—making sure he exercised, ate healthily, got enough calories every day—it seemed like he couldn't control certain things from his own mind. the things he went through—things you were not knowledgeable of, not really—caught up to him sometimes. caught him off guard. made him go through phases where he was just the slightest bit out of control.

you worried for him, of course you did. it just... it was something he needed to deal with on his own. something he didn't want you caught up in—all the shit he kept locked down in his head. he kept you at an arm's length—it was why he never told you just how much he was weighing himself down. he loved you too much to let you be swept away in the hurricane going on inside him.

but you'd be there for him—willing and waiting—ready to finally catch him once it all faded away.