#had to draw this one super fast cause I recently applied for a summer job and can barely find the will to breathe when I get home

[chillguy42]

M&M

The original version--

[etherealwaifgoddess]

You May Now Kiss the Bride, Again

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: A continuation in the What He Wants universe. After everything Bucky and you have been through together it’s finally your wedding day!

Warnings/ Content: Primarily wedding fluff! There is a bit of smut (and really good smut if I do say so myself) at the end, BUT I wanted this to be safe for everyone so there is a ** mark between paragraphs indicating the point of no return for smut. So, if you are not comfortable with it, just stop at the ** and you’ll still get to enjoy most of this story. If you are, then please enjoy ;)

Word Count: 5176

Author’s Note: Hello again lovelies! It’s wedding day!! Are you excited? I sure am! I knew I wanted to write this from the very start but didn’t want to rush their relationship along more than I already felt I did in What He Wants, so I decided to leave this bit to the one shots. I had so much fun writing this and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. If you haven’t read the rest of the What He Wants series it isn’t super necessary but it will make this 1,000 times sweeter if you do. You can find the master list HERE if you want to check it out first.

Love you all & thank you for reading!! XOXO - Ash

You May Now Kiss the Bride, Again

“You’ve got to be shitting me, man.” Sam whines. 

Bucky laughs at Sam’s expression and moves his phone out of Poe’s reach as the puppy tries to lick the screen again. “Sorry, Sam. I know it’s short notice, but we’re done waiting.” 

You walk past Bucky who’s laying across your newly purchased sofa with Poe curled up on his stomach while he video chats with Sam. “Hi Sam!” You call out and give a quick wave in the background.

“Hey, Minnie.” Sam calls back to you. “But seriously, you two. Monday? You really think I can just pop down to Pennsylvania with two days notice? And where the hell am I even going? You two keep your place locked down tighter than Fort Nox.” 

“I’ll send you the coordinates, relax. And I already checked with Pepper when we invited her so I know damn well you don’t have anything on Monday that you can’t move to Tuesday. Our place is forty five minutes away by Quinjet and we only need you for a few hours in the afternoon.” 

“I’m just giving you a hard time, you know I’ll be there. But damn, man. That was fast.”

“We aren’t good at taking our time with things.” Bucky shrugs and shoots you a loving glance as you focus on making more room on the bookshelf for your haul from the library’s Spring book sale. You thought you were an avid reader but Bucky is even worse if that’s possible. You both keep saying you’ll switch to digital books and yet somehow nothing replaces the feel of a paperback in your hands. 

You had spent two months talking about what type of wedding you want and kept coming back to the same conclusion. Neither one of you want a big production, it isn’t about the day itself so much as the promise you’re making to one another. As annoyed as your friends are going to be, all you want is a quiet ceremony at the courthouse and then sometime in the summer you’ll go away for a few days somewhere tropical. No fancy party or lavish gifts, both would just make Bucky uncomfortable, defeating the point of celebrating. 

The whole plan had only come together a few days prior when you saw a cream colored lace dress at the mall. It was elegant in its simplicity and was exactly what you wanted for a wedding dress despite it being non traditional. Bucky had agreed and you bought it then and there. Once you had the dress you decided to just go for it and bought Bucky a new blue suit while you were out. Stopping at the courthouse to apply for the marriage license was just a quick side trip on your way home, and they had a Monday afternoon spot available for a civil ceremony which you took without hesitation. You gave the center a heads up you both would be out the following Monday, not revealing why, and the plans were finalized. It was blissfully easy and exactly what you both wanted. 

Sam continues giving Bucky a hard time for a few minutes until he’s won over by Poe’s antics and then it’s endless baby talk to the puppy which has you stifling your laughter from across the room. Sam confirms again that he’ll fly out with Pepper on Monday and Bucky looks quite pleased with himself when he comes over to pull you in for a quick kiss.

“Two days.” he says as you part. 

“No backing out now, Barnes.” you tease.

“You couldn’t drag me away. But that reminds me,” Bucky takes a steadying breath, “I know it’s a little old fashioned… and I don’t want you to feel pressured, because I love you no matter what…. Once we’re married, do you want to take my last name?” 

You’re shocked by his hesitation. Sure, it’s not a given any more that a woman will take her husband’s name but it’s still considered tradition to do so. You appreciate that he’s giving you the choice instead of assuming. “Hmm. Y/N Barnes. I think that has a nice ring to it.” 

“It sure does, doll.” 

“We can print the forms to make it official and have them ready to turn in when we go to the courthouse on Monday.” 

Bucky is practically beaming when he kisses you again. He’s ecstatic you’re willing to take his last name. He had tried not to get his hopes up, knowing it wasn’t a guarantee like it was back when he was young. But god did he ever want to give you his name. It’s old fashioned and almost primitive, the desire to claim you as his in every way but he doesn’t care. In two days time you’ll be his wife. It’s more than he could ever ask for after the life he’s lived and he can barely believe he’s getting a chance at happiness. 

The weekend flies by with no preparations being needed. It’s just you, Bucky, and Poe enjoying the mild Spring weather and new herd of lambs that were recently born. Poe is thrilled to have a few new fuzzy playmates and is careful not to nip at the lambs no matter how excited he gets. Bucky gets it in his head that you should write your own vows late on Saturday night and by Monday morning you’re revising yours for the fifth time. It’s hard to get out exactly what you want to say in a concise, cohesive way. Bucky is just as much of a perfectionist and you catch him scribbling away, his tongue poking out between his teeth as he concentrates on what he’s doing. 

You nudge his coffee mug, getting his attention, “You okay?” you ask when he looks up.

“Yeah,” he nods, “Just trying to get this last bit right.” 

You let him go back to his scribbling, thinking yours could use a sixth round of editing just to be safe. 

Sam and Pepper fly out earlier than expected, arriving just after lunch. The Quinjet is soundless right up until the wind from the engines cause a rustling in the trees. Bucky takes Poe out to greet your guests and you finish cleaning up your dishes. It’s only a moment later that you hear Pepper’s heels on the stairs and the door of your apartment swinging open. “Oh my god I love it!” Pepper shrills looking around.

“Thanks, Pep. I’m glad you made it.” you dry your hands and pull the taller woman into a tight hug. 

“Of course I did, it’s your wedding day! And your apartment is so cute, very cozy. I can’t believe you don’t let people visit here.”

“Well you know, life of anonymity and all.” you shrug.

“Where’s the bride?” Sam calls on the way up the stairs with Bucky trailing behind him.

“Right here, birdman.” you tease. 

Sam scoops you up in a hug, swinging you about before he puts you back down. “Last chance to ditch this geezer and run off with Captain America.” he teases.

You laugh and shove him away lightly, “I think I’m good but thanks for the offer.”

Bucky pokes Sam in the arm with his left index finger, sending a command for the digit to release a small electrical shockwave. 

“Ow!” Sam yelps, rubbing his arm. “Since when can that thing do that?!” 

“Shuri upgrade.” he shrugs, “She thought it would be useful for disabling electronics. I’m thinking it’s more useful at keeping stray birds away.” 

Sam grumbles and takes a playful swing at Bucky who returns with a punch of his own. The two scrabble like little boys for a minute, leaving you and Pepper to dodge their antics and escape to the kitchen. 

You both get a little time with your friends before having to get ready for the wedding and it’s nice being able to catch up. Bucky gets changed first and you can hear him and Sam talking about something in low tones while you and Pepper plan what to do with your hair. 

“I’m coming out!” Bucky calls down the hall, “Avert your eyes!” 

You cup your hands over your eyes, “All set, come on down. Just hide in the kitchen ‘til I’m ready.” 

You hear Bucky and Sam walk through the living room to the kitchen and the telltale skidding of chair legs on the linoleum floor. 

“We’re good, come on.” Pepper ushers you down to your bedroom where she rifles through your makeup drawer looking for what she needs. You change into the pale dove grey lingerie that had just arrived the night before thanks to overnight shipping online. It’s delicate lace and silk, almost like wearing nothing at all and you can’t wait to see Bucky’s face when you undress for him later. You slip into your dress, letting Pepper help with the zipper in the back. It really is the perfect dress, you’re just as happy with it now as you were when you saw it on the rack last week. 

Pepper sits you down on the edge of the bed where she starts on your makeup, promising to keep it natural looking. She does a great job, as you expected. Pepper’s makeup is always flawless and you didn’t want to risk drawing your own thin stripe of eyeliner when your nerves have you trembling in your seat. She’s rimmed your eyes with soft kohl, bringing out their subtle undertones. Your lips are just a shade darker than their own natural rosy pink, and the flush on your cheeks is only partially from the blush. You still look like you, just a glossy, more polished version of yourself.

You decide not to try and do anything elaborate with your hair. Simply leaving it to flow freely down your back with just a gentle sweep of the sides held back by gold clasps. You add a pair of small pear drop earrings to finish off your outfit and look to Pepper for one last once over. “What do you think?” you ask her. 

Pepper sniffles into the tissue she has clasped in her hands, “You look like a bride.” she wipes at her eyes, frantically patting at them. “Oh damn it, I wasn’t going to cry.”

“It’s okay.” you tell her, “I think I’m ready to go see Bucky now.”

Pepper brings up the wedding march on her phone for dramatic effect and you laugh but go along with it. Bucky is waiting on the sofa and he jumps to his feet when he hears the music. You step into the hall and catch your first sight of Bucky in his new suit. You pause a moment, bracing yourself with a steadying breath before you walk slowly down the hall to the love of your life. Bucky’s eyes are shimmering with unshed tears, watching every move you make as you get closer and closer to him. You’re both shaking by the time you’re standing in front of him, holding back tears of joy. He’s beautiful in his new blue suit and crisp white dress shirt. The neck of his shirt is left unbuttoned and he didn’t bother with a tie. The result is mouthwateringly perfect. You’re happy to see he left his hair down, the soft brown waves falling around his shoulders and begging you to run your hands through them. So you do, letting the silky strands slip through your fingers like water. He gives you that shy half smile of his, ducking his head down a little, and your heart melts even more. How he can still be so hesitant and unsure of himself is beyond you but you will happily spend every moment of the rest of your life reminding him of how amazing he is. 

“Wow.” you say finally with a wavering smile. You're fighting off tears, not wanting to ruin Pepper’s work. 

Bucky nods, fighting off tears of his own. “Wow is right. How are you even real?” he shakes his head in disbelief. 

“Smooth talker.” you tease. “You ready to go get married?” 

“Oh darlin’, I’ve been ready since I the moment I saw you in that crappy little bunker in Somalia.” 

“I recall you hating my guts that first day.”

“I didn’t hate you, I just didn’t like someone popping into my head without at least buying me dinner first.” 

“Good thing I brought you dinner later that night then, huh?”

“Yes, because that’s what sealed my love for you. Military ration chicken dinner.” 

You laugh along with him and give his chest a gentle shove. Pepper and Sam are standing back watching with twin smiles of pride on their faces. 

“You love birds ready to get this show on the road?” Sam asks. 

“Yeah, come on birdbrain. I’m driving.” Bucky tells him, taking your hand in his to lead you out the door.

The courthouse is busy for a Monday afternoon but you only have a short wait after you arrive until your time slot. The Justice of the Peace is a petite white haired woman with deep laugh lines and kind eyes. She talks with your group for a moment while the paperwork is all set up, getting to know you a little. If she’s surprised to be officiating the marriage of the former Winter Soldier she hides it well. “Everyone deserves happiness, dear.” She tells him quietly with a pat to his shoulder. 

Bucky looks like he might lose his composure at her kindness but he pulls it back together again when you give his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Shall we then?” she asks motioning to the simple flower arch at the front of the room. 

“Let’s do it.” you say with a grin.

The ceremony is quick, she says a few words on marriage and love before giving you each the floor for your vows. You’re up first and you’re glad. You don’t know what Bucky’s going to say but the odds of you making it through your own vows when you’re already crying are slim to none. 

“Bucky,” your voice trembles but you clear your throat and carry on, “I used to think I had everyone figured out because of my ability. But then I met you. You were a puzzle I just couldn’t find the right pieces for. I wanted to ignore you, to let you be, but there was something about you that kept drawing me in. I think I loved you a little even then. It was hard at first, to watch you go through so much, but seeing your progress has been incredible. It has been the honor of my lifetime watching you piece yourself back together into the wonderful, sweet, kind, caring man standing in front of me today. You deserve every single good thing that has ever happened to you and I will remind you of that every day for the rest of our lives. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. You’re stuck with me now.” 

Everyone laughs lightly despite teary eyes and you bite your lip watching Bucky as he swallows past the golf ball sized lump that has formed in his throat, tears threatening behind his shining grey-blue eyes.

The Justice of the Peace motions for Bucky to begin and he nods a few times, taking a moment to compose himself. 

“I thought I lost my chance at a normal life when I fell off the train in ‘45.” he begins with a voice steadier than he feels, “My life turned into something unthinkable after that, and even after I got free I spent all my time just trying to keep my head above water. I never even dreamed I’d find someone who could love me, especially when I didn’t love myself most of the time. I guess I needed to sink before I could swim, and darlin’ you found me at the very bottom of the water. You brought me back up and gave me a life I couldn’t imagine having. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of you. I will protect you. I will cherish you. And more than anything else in this world, I will love you until my dying breath.” 

You don’t even realize you’re crying until Pepper discretely shoves a tissue in your hands. Bucky lost the battle with his own tears the second he stopped speaking and Sam hands him a tissue from his own pack. 

“I’m real sorry your honor.” Bucky apologizes earnestly,  “I know this is jumping ahead a little but I really need to kiss my girl right now.” he pulls you by your hands until you’re flush against him and he dips his head down to capture your tear softened lips with his own. It’s a chaste, comforting kiss and you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

“It’s quite alright, son.” the older woman assures him. She waits until you part again before she asks if you’re ready for the rings. 

“We actually don’t have rings just yet.” Bucky tells her bashfully, “It’s going to be a custom job and my mechanic / jeweler is in Wakanda at the moment.” he holds up his vibranium hand by way of explanation. 

“Oh! Quite right.” the Justice nods. “Let’s move on to the important part then.” she turns to you first, “Y/F/N Y/L/N, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and health, for richer and poorer, til death do you part?” 

“I do.” you say, more certain of this than anything else in your life. 

“And you, James Buchanan Barnes, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, til death do you part?”

“I do.” Bucky confirms.

“Well then, by the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride, again.” 

Bucky chuckles and slides his right hand along your cheek to pull you in for your first kiss as husband and wife. Sam lets out a whoop while Pepper claps frantically and the people waiting in the back of the room join in the clapping. It’s a perfect moment, one you’ll remember forever. Bucky leads you out to the main lobby with Pepper and Sam trailing a few steps behind. You hand over your paperwork now that it’s been signed by the Justice of the Peace and turn in your name change forms while you’re at it. 

Pepper insists on cake afterwards and the four of you end up at your favorite little bakery a few blocks over. It has a few small cafe table inside and you take over one by the window to enjoy your desserts. 

“So, Y/N, huh?” Sam asks between bites of his red velvet cake.

You nod, “Yep, you know my secret identity now. If assassins pop up on my doorstep tomorrow I know who to blame, so you better keep it quiet.” 

Sam knows you’re teasing but he sputters his offense all the same, “Uhh, excuse me but Pepper knows now too. Why would you assume it was me and not her?” 

You raise your eyebrows at him, not even dignifying that with an answer while you take another bite of your vanilla cream cake.

“I trust you, Sammy.” Bucky assures him good naturedly. 

“Because you’re a smart man, Barnes.” 

“Hey, that applies to both of us now.” you remind him.

Pepper squeaks through a bite of lemon cake, “I am so happy for you guys. Thank you for including me in this. It means a lot.”

You reach across the table to take Pepper’s hand in yours, giving it a squeeze. “It means a lot to us too that you’re here.” 

You finish your cake slices quickly and Pepper goes back to the counter to order something to take home to Morgan. Bucky is the last to finish his square of tiramisu which admittedly is not cake but he ordered nonetheless since, as he reminded everyone, it’s his wedding day and he’s entitled to get whatever he wants. 

By the time you get back to your apartment Sam and Pepper have to head back to the compound. She left Happy Hogan and Mae Parker to watch Morgan for a few hours after school but wants to get home to help with homework. The last time Happy had tried to help Morgan with her homework it ended with all the wrong answers and him frustrated, swearing Tony had cloned himself somehow. 

It’s hard watching your best friends head back to upstate New York but you promise to come visit when you can. It’s been an eventful day and as soon as they’re out the door you and Bucky collapse on your bed, exhausted. “How am I this tired and it’s only four thirty in the afternoon?” he groans. 

“I’m not far behind you.” you commiserate with a yawn. Rolling over onto your side to face Bucky, you shoot him a tired smile. “We did really did it.” 

“We did. How do you feel about that, Mrs. Barnes?”

“Pretty damn good. How about you, Mr. Barnes?”

“Like I’m the luckiest man in the whole wide world. But you know, doll, the neighbors might talk.” his tone is teasing and you take the bait.

“Oh really? And why is that?”

“Well, I married a girl over seven decades younger than me. That’s a pretty big age gap.” 

“Mmm. Quite the scandal. But you know what I say?” Bucky shakes his head and you lean forward so your lips are brushing lightly against the shell of his ear, “Let ‘em talk.”  Your tongue sneaks out and runs along the curve of his ear eliciting a shiver from him. 

“You know, I think you just reminded me of an important part of our wedding day that we forgot.” 

“And what would that be?” 

Bucky gently shoos Poe out of the bedroom and shuts the door in the puppy’s forlorn face. “I believe it’s called consummating the marriage.” he says with a predatory grin as he stalks across the room back to the bed. 

You stifle a giggle, “I hear that’s a very important part. We’d better not skip it.” 

**

“Definitely not.” he all but growls as he kneels between your legs, parting your knees with his wide palms. He slides a hand under your dress, caressing up the length of your thigh until he comes in contact with silky lace. “There’s a wedding gift under here for me, isn’t there?” 

You blush at his words. “Maybe. Why don’t you unwrap me and find out?”

Bucky grins like a wolf circling a rabbit, he knows he’s going to have you and is enjoying the game. He curls his left hand around the curve of your hip and pushes you down so you’re lying on your stomach. There’s a whisper of your zipper sliding down followed by a trail of kisses pressed against the exposed skin. You shiver, goosebumps breaking out all over your body. Bucky presses one last kiss right above your panties before flipping you over onto your back. You let him move you about, enjoying being manhandled a little. He’s normally so gentle with you, not wanting to risk hurting you with his super soldier strength. 

Bucky sits back to admire the lingerie you’re wearing, his eyes blazing with lust as he runs both of his hands up your sides from the wide curve of your hips to your breasts which threaten to spill out of the delicate lace cups of your bra. You squirm under his gaze and let out a small squeak when he starts trailing bruising kisses from your breasts down your stomach. He pulls back at the sound, brow furrowed. “You okay?” he asks, concerned. 

“Yeah.” you nod your assent, “I’ve told you before I don’t mind it a little rough.” 

“I got a little carried away. Something about the idea of making love to my wife… it just drives me wild.” he bites his full bottom lip, looking contrite. 

You reach up to ruffle his hair, needing to muss him up a little. He’s still in his dress shirt and dress pants, looking like he belongs on a GQ cover instead of your bed. “Then what are you waiting for?” you taunt, rolling your hips up to nudge him into action.

He lets out a low groan, dipping his head down to your chest to worship you with searing kisses and nips with careful teeth. You fumble for the buttons of his shirt, wanting it off of him as quickly as possible. You can feel and hear his chuckle against your skin as you scramble. You try to rip it apart after only getting two buttons undone but the fabric holds. Bucky pushes himself up onto his knees and your eyes are glued to him as he slides a hand down his buttoned shirt. He rocks his hips against his palm when he gets there and your breaths are ragged in your chest at the sight. Bucky runs his hands back up stopping right in the middle of the row of buttons, he dips his fingers into the spaces between buttons and with one harsh yank they all spring free, popping like confetti across the room, his torso bare as the shirt hangs loosely at his sides in defeat. Your jaw hangs open and your brain short circuits for a moment. It is the single most erotic thing you’ve seen in your life and you’re certain you’ve ruined your new panties. 

“Liked that, huh mouse?” he teases. 

You nod, still unable to produce coherent thoughts.

Bucky can’t stop grinning, obviously pleased with himself. He runs the thumb of his right hand along the waistband of his pants and flicks the button open with one deft motion. He’s making a meal out of undressing himself and you are helpless to complain. The snick of his zipper dragging downwards has your knees trembling despite yourself. He palms himself one more time before sliding both his pants and boxer briefs down in one quick shove. 

Your body is screaming for his and your brain finally gets on board enough for you to take control. You sit up to place your hands on his hips, pulling him down over top of you again. You snake one arm around his neck to pull him close, capturing his lips with your own, your other hand exploring the wide plane of his chest. You can’t get enough of the feel and taste of him, your husband. He’s so damned handsome, you feel like you’ve won the lottery having him in your life. Best of all, he’s yours forever now. 

The glint of silver in his short beard catches your eye and you smile against his mouth, not breaking the kiss. You love that he’s not “perfect” anymore. No longer frozen by the serum in peak physical condition. As much as he’d had mixed feelings about it at first, even he’s come to admit he likes knowing he’s still just human after all. The speckles of grey in his beard, a few strands in his long hair too, gentle crinkles at the edges of his eyes, and the layer of softness that covers his chest and stomach, it all adds up to him feeling more real in his own skin. No longer just a weapon, a real person. You honestly think it all makes him more attractive, something that you enjoy reminding him of often. 

“How attached are you to these underwear?” he asks hoarsely. 

You think of how much you paid for them, and to get them there in time. It was exorbitant. But you can always get new ones. “Not very.” you tell him. 

“Thank god.” with two quick rips your bra is in pieces, tossed carelessly on the floor and one rip later your panties follow suit. Bucky laves his tongue along your skin where the material tore, wanting to be sure he didn’t mark you… much. 

You feel a wet drag against your hip and realize he’s already so achingly hard that he’s leaking sticky trails on your skin. You reach down, taking him in hand and stroking until he hisses a shuddering breath. “Careful” he warns you. 

“Maybe you should just get inside of me then.” you challenge wickedly. His cock jumps in your hand and you’re surprised by both your own brazenness and his reaction to it. 

Bucky slides his legs in between yours, lifting your hips up off of the bed in his strong hands. “What my wife wants,” he grits out, “She gets.” he slams himself into your core with one hard thrust and you cry out, gripping the sheets in shock. He stills a moment, making sure you’re okay before he starts rocking his hips against yours. 

Your whole body is shaking as he thumbs at your clit while dragging his aching length out and then snapping right back in. You fall apart the second he makes contact with your throbbing bud and then you’re riding out an endless stream pleasure, unsure where one climax ends and the next begins. Bucky’s close already, you can tell by the babbling praise falling from his lips. 

“God, you’re so good, doll.” he gasps, “So tight and perfect. My beautiful wife. I can’t believe you’re mine.” Bucky is shaking as he fights to resist the hot coil of need in his stomach. He doesn’t want it to be over so soon but he’s fighting a losing battle. He doubles over, keening, the tips of his hair brushing against your belly tickling you. It’s all too much for you both and you’re whimpering when his thumb finally stills and he makes his final few ragged thrusts. Your name is a frantic liturgy on his lips as his whole body tenses and he spills deep inside you. You can feel him pulsing deep within your fluttering walls and you whine at the sensation, your body shaking like you could come again just from that. 

Bucky manages to not completely collapse on top of you when he lowers your hips back onto the bed, sliding himself free in the process. He’s still a heavy, panting, burning hot weight on top of you though, and you love every second of it. You’re both sweat slick, your skin sticking together in a way that should be disgusting but somehow isn’t in the moment. You card your fingers through his silky hair while you take a moment to regain higher thought process. Finally he presses a kiss to your sternum and raises himself off of you. “I love you, Mrs. Barnes.” he says with a dopey grin, still a little blissed out. 

“I love you too, Mr. Barnes. Happy wedding day.” 

~ The End ~

Tag list lovelies: @my-current-fandom-is @blacklightguidesnic @amazonianbeauty  @abswritesfandoms @rupestria @dark-night-sky-99 @ladyemofhousestark  ***IF ANYONE WANTS ADDED / REMOVED JUST LMK :)

[mouthmoodz]

ALL THE QUESTIONS

YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAN

ok here we goooo

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

Spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

Usually messy

3. what color are your eyes?

Hazelicious

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah i like my first name a lot actually? (riley) i like that it’s a gender neutral name; idk why exactly but i wouldn’t want to have a girl’s name. and i’m glad my parents spelled it right. 

5. what is your relationship status? 

Singlé

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

“annoying little fucker”

7. what color hair do you have?

Red

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

silver 2002 oldsmobile intrigue

9. where do you shop?

the world wide web

10. how would you describe your style?

executive dysfunction femme (with occasional bursts of lolita or otome)

continued under the cut

11. favorite social media account

tunglr dot net i suppose, i have the most followers and pals here by far

12. what size bed do you have? 

Twin.

13. any siblings?

I have an older brother

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

hmm, to be honest it’s hard to say because I’ve been hardly anywhere so I don’t know what kind of place I would enjoy being the most. But probably a fairly large city somewhere in the US, i just don’t know which one.

15. favorite snapchat filter? 

doggo

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

I love Too Faced. love to actually own some of their products someday

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i have depression

18. favorite tv show?

the x-files or always sunny

19. shoe size?

6

20. how tall are you?

5′1″

21. sandals or sneakers? 

sneakers

22. do you go to the gym? 

who the fuck do you think i am,

23. describe your dream date

I never know how to answer this question because not to be corny but if I really like the person I’m on the date with then it doesn’t matter that much what we’re doing??? as long as it’s not something really boring.

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? 

$6.03

25. what color socks are you wearing? 

white

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

two

27.do you have a job? what do you do? 

ya i’m a library page

28. how many friends do you have? 

Depends how narrowly you define the term “friend.” Also I’m not going to try to count because that’s just not chill

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

Depends on your perspective

30. whats your favorite candle scent? 

I like vanilla scented candles

31. 3 favorite boy names

32. 3 favorite girl names

this is super hard for some reason? once my friend made me decide what i would name a boy and a girl if i had them and eventually we came up with alice and tristan. other than that i’m not sure, though recently I have thought that Neil is a very nice boy name. we all know why this is, of course, but it really is I swear. 

33. favorite actor? 

34. favorite actress? 

I don’t really know or care about famous people that much ever so I’m just gonna say like.... everyone from star wars.

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Like I said, I don’t really know or care much about famous people. And most of them are shitty people and/or not interesting.

36. favorite movie? 

i have seen like 0 movies ever but i like edward scissorhands a lot

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

yeah i do and i guess my favorite book is the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

38. money or brains? 

money my dog i’m neither a sapiosexual nor a fool

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? 

there have been a number of variations applied to me over the years but the most common one at the moment is probably riler

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

none for an emergency, several times for gettin my brain scanned by a big ol magnet and shit like that

41. top 10 favorite songs

i answered this not that long ago when i reblogged this ask meme before so i will just endeavor to say 10 DIFFERENT songs that i like a lot, again in no particular order

love is greed- passion pit

soratobu toshikeikaku- capsule

1901- phoenix

undercover martyn- two door cinema club

untrust us- crystal castles

orpheus and eurydice- allegra rosenberg

drunk drivers/killer whales- car seat headrest

life on the nickel- foster the people

dirty paws- of monsters and men

wallspin- neil cicierega

42. do you take any medications daily? 

ya lexapro and wellbutrin

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry

44. what is your biggest fear? 

never accomplishing anything worthwhile

45. how many kids do you want? 

zero

46. whats your go to hair style?

doing absolutely nothing to my hair

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

small

48. who is your role model? 

my boy neil c, unproblematic fave of the century

49. what was the last compliment you received?

I think it was when i was in the grocery store and someone said “I love your red hair!” They also had red hair. feels good feels organic even though I don’t like talking to strangers

50. what was the last text you sent?

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I never really "found out,” I just sort of figured it out. I forget when exactly, but it was pretty early on.

52. what is your dream car?

nyan cat lamborghini

53. opinion on smoking?

it’s bad for you but i’m not an Ass to people who do it

54. do you go to college?

ya

55. what is your dream job?

artist, author, some sort of independent content creation like that

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

the suburbs i guess? unless the rural place was exceptionally beautiful

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

no ‘cause i’m not a CRIME DOER

58. do you have freckles?

fuck dude i sure do

59. do you smile for pictures?

yes but only with my mouth closed and if the person taking the picture isn’t taking their sweet time about it

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

1559

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

nope

62. do you still watch cartoons?

I haven’t lately since I stopped watching su and nothing else has caught my attention but I’m not opposed to the idea

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

I don’t really eat fast food

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ranch dressing

65. what do you wear to bed?

i usually wear a nightgown

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

no but i came in third place in one once

67. what are your hobbies?

reading, drawing, not writing, lolita fashion, collecting obscure pictures of internet funnyman neil cicieregegerega

68. can you draw?

allegedly

69. do you play an instrument?

haha funy sex number. no but i used to play the viola

70. What was the last concert you saw?

I’ve never been to a proper concert

71. tea or coffee?

tea

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

i don’t go to either of those places

73. Do you want to get married?

I go back and forth on this. It’s not super important to me, but if I was ever truly convinced I wanted to stay with somebody forever I’d go ahead and do it

74. what’s your crush’s first and last initial

FUCK both their first and last initial are not that common so people would be able to tell who i am talking about probably

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

I’m a gay but I guess if my wife had a cooler last name I might take it

76. what color looks best on you?

black probably

77. Do you miss anybody right now?

Ya my friends!! We haven’t hung out very much lately :(

78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Closed

79. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes because I am one

80. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

I fucking hate it when people crack their knuckles!! Stop it what are you doing to your APPENDAGES you weirdoes!!!

81. last person you called?

my mom

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

chocolate chip cookie dough

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

Golden oreos tbh

84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Sprinkles don’t taste very good and they’re essentially pointless but at least rainbow sprinkles are pretty

85. What shirt are you wearing?

A plain black pullover hoodie

86. What is your phone background?

Unico in Bloomland 

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy

88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

idk no one does that but it depends who it is i guess

89. do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know them but they have never been annoying so they’re cool i suppose

90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?

no i just cleanse it along with the rest of me the way god intended, in the Shower

91. Have you ever been high?

yeah once it was pretty fun

92. have you ever been drunk?

nope

93. Last thing you ate?

A green bean. except it wasn’t a green bean, but some other bullshit type of bean that’s practically the same thing only not.

94. favorite lyrics right now

“if you were a piece of dust, I’d shine a light through the busted window and I’d learn to trust in the updraft that you’re on.” -The Only House That’s Not On Fire (Yet) by Lemon Demon

95. summer or winter?

summer

96. day or night?

time is fake my guy

97. dark, white, or milk chocolate?

milk

98. favorite month?

Hmm... maybe october

99. what is your zodiac sign?

pinchy the crab

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my best friend