#had to also give some commentary bc I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE

[infintasmal]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐌

@huijarii : Thoughts on Sampo - for Serval 💀 Character Thoughts

"Oh, that guy? Ha, what a weirdo~ Nah, nah Sampo's my friend. Again. We uh, kinda stopped talking for a while there but we started again and... I don't think I realized how much I missed having him around. Sure, he's definitely nothing but trouble and the guy's got more secrets than a magician's act. But he's not a bad guy. He's got a lot of energy and he likes to goof off and have fun. He's gotta be pretty clever to keep avoiding Gep. And he makes me laugh. I don't know, whenever we hang out, I just feel comfortable. Like he'd listen to anything I had to say and wouldn't make fun of me for it. Feels like I can be myself around him, not a Landau, not a failed Architect, not even that rocker chick. Just me. I like that. Maybe I'm like, the world's biggest sucker, but I hope he keeps hanging around. I'd miss him, if he disappeared.

"He's got a nice ass too, so that's always a plus."

IN THE EVENT THAT HE'S GOT SOME KIND OF SITUATIONSHIP WITH GEPARD.

"Him and my brother shacking up is like the world's biggest plot twist. Not to mention cliche, the cop and robber having tension? Puhlease. Whatever, if they make each other happy. But if Sampo does anything to hurt my brother I'm gonna give him a chemistry lesson he'll never forget."

[atalana]

also as a further addendum to my bill made a huge mistake underestimating stan post - i was recently listening to the commentary for sock opera

and like everyone and their mother can draw the parallels between ford/dipper and stan/mabel, it's one of the major themes of the show

bill gets the first half of the equation just fine - he thinks dipper can be manipulated in exactly the same way as ford, and while dipper will grow past that by the end of the show, in this episode, he's right. the best ways to get dipper to do what he wants, are to tempt him with all the secrets of the universe, and to remind him that he doesn't owe mabel anything, when mabel's done nothing but hold him back and cause trouble for him. it's probably exactly how he talked about stan to ford back in the day, who was still nursing those grudges and wanted to be the one to discover things no one else had

but the fun thing alex hirsch mentions in the commentary for that episode, is that bill doesn't see mabel as a parallel to stan (bc lbr he barely even recognises stan as a person). he sees mabel as a parallel to himself. yeah dipper and mabel are a good team together, but ultimately when it comes down to it, mabel is a powerful creature of chaos who would choose her own happiness over anyone who relied on her. (alex hirsch at this point jumps into bill's voice to say "how about instead of doing something lame, you do something fun, and crush whoever you want in the process!", and that bill genuinely thinks that is going to work, because it would work on him)

he doesn't expect mabel to destroy all her hard work and crush her own dreams just to help dipper. when he says "who would sacrifice everything they worked for just for their dumb sibling?", he's speaking from experience. he wouldn't. ford didn't. given the type of people bill considers worth talking to, i doubt he's ever come across that type of loyalty before

but the audience has, plenty of times, and will see it even harder by not what he seems. because while mabel does have some of the anarchy and selfishness bill sees in her, that kind of loyalty is a huge part of what she shares with stan

and like in a lot of the commentaries the writers say they weren't sure at first if bill would be the big bad, or how exactly the ending would come together, but in retrospect it never could have been anyone else, and there never could have been anyone but stan to defeat him

because so much of this show is about the relationships between family (including found family), what you would or wouldn't give up for them, but then how much better your life is when you value those relationships over temporary personal gain

so of course the main villain is someone so incapable of understanding that that he is utterly blindsided by the person who embodies it the most

[low-budget-korra]

More thoughts on Caitlyn kidnapping and "I didn't know ur mother was there"

Guys... I saw some comments on the kidnap scene bc I think a lot of people fail to see how traumatizing the whole experience was for Caitlyn. And as someone who first watched Arcane only a few days before s2 dropped, I say it makes a ton of difference when you look at Caitlyn's motivations throughout s2.

What was the commentary? Well first look at this

Caitlyn's eyes are full of tears. Either she was holding on not to cry in front of Vi or she was crying before, or even both. She even flinched when Jinx almost touched her shoulder. Caitlyn was really really scared of Jinx

But the comments that made my head explode was something so simple that how I didn't notice before?

HOW THE HELL JINX KNEW ABOUT THE CUPCAKE THING?

Vi never told her and we never saw Jinx hearing Vi calling Caitlyn like that. So how the hell she knew? Did Jinx torture Caitlyn enough for the poor girl to give her this info? Mind you, Jinx was unhinged and this is the type of info that could have made her lose it and kill Cait over jealousy.

And the fact that all of this was forgotten and not processed by Caitlyn bc her mom died right after? Damn.

You can and should disagree with all of Caitlyn's actions while she was under Ambessa's manipulation but you can't say she didn't have reasons to be that angry, especially at Jinx.

Jinx always had a beef with Caitlyn under jealousy, and after all that I mentioned and the attack that victimized Cassandra, Caitlyn had all the reasons to think that the attack was personal. Of course, in the beginning she was still holding herself but after the attack in the ceremony and almost dying there and specially after having Jinx on her aim again, and again Vi stopping her from shooting. She snapped.

"but she was willing to kill Isha, a child" she would not miss. Literally, that's her whole thing lmao. It's like saying Vi wouldn't take a punch or Jinx wouldn't be able to make the weapon.

Anyway, moving on

When Jinx is depressed in the cell and Caitlyn is already tired of all the hate and how it made her do bad shit, Jinx says "I didn't know your mother was there. It would not have made a difference, but I didn't know" it was when Caitlyn realized that it wasn't personal.

And in a way, it's like Jinx saying "sorry, but also not sorry". It's her acknowledging the pain she caused even if she would shoot no matter what.

I think at this moment, and after seeing Jinx just chilling hugging Warwick, saving her life and probably saw Jinx being devastated abt Isha's death...that Caitlyn realized that Vi was right, Jinx did change.

I don't think she forgave Jinx but she was willing to let her go, both physically and metaforically.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

ep 24 commentary (brain fried edition)

my head is a little empty after ep 24 tbh!! brain is not braining after all the zyc hurt no comfort (-:

some scattered thoughts here and there, painstakingly corralled like cats out of my vacuous brain and into a list (spoilers):

ZYZ is really emo this episode poor dude like he is having a hard time keeping it together it seems. Every other word out of his mouth is depressing as shit, which is saying a lot considering how depressing he usually is already (': I kind of wanted this episode to pick his brain more, give him room to emote in the aftermath of all that. But it almost feels like the character refuses to be alone, like he might spiral if he has too much time to get in his own head. I'm still so curious to know, though, what he thinks about the state of their promise in light of how far ZYC went trying to save him. “He has us,” ZYZ said to WX. When the time comes, I wonder how he'll reconcile that with what he’s asked of ZYC.

PSJ and Ying Lei bonding! shenanigans! I did laugh thank you guys. Also, not that the team didn't operate separately before, but I really get a sense of how much ZYC held things together with how apparent his absence is. It's obvs heartwarming seeing how hard everyone is working to save him (PSJ especially for me bc I love their mutual tacit trust and respect and all the ways they're alike and different), but ultimately it's still so angsty (':

Kind of love the couple instances where ZYC has been referred to as fragile/weak/of delicate constitution (depending on how you wanna translate it) like that's a very interesting quality to assign to basically the tank of your team. Even if the comments are made facetiously, it just reminds me of how often we witness his mortality, and of course how everything about the styling, aesthetics, and content of the flashbacks to his childhood reinforce a characterization of vulnerability at the very heart of him. I saw someone mention how the Cloud Light Sword responded to ZYC's tears and to that vulnerability rather than brute strength, and I totally agree. I love how this "fragile" characterization plays into the whole fate weapon deal. ZYC's strength is (imo) unconventional, and it is his sensitivity, his compassion, and his deep capacity to feel that the sword acknowledges, resonates with, and empowers. Almost like it protects his tender heart rather than making it something he needs to overcome to get stronger.

One thing I will never get over is how incredibly they styled TJR as baby!Yichen, adult ZYC, and Bingyi. What do you mean this is all from one drama and not three separate productions. Insane. I'm out of my mind with how gorgeous every change in costuming is.

A tangential note is I've seen people mention (paraphrasing very much here) ZYZ's demon form being nicely subtle in its eerie inhumanity and tbh I have a similar feeling even just about human adult ZYC imo. Especially when his hair is down and he's got that thick eyeliner on and we get a close up of his contacts, if you told me from the start that he's half-demon half-human or something I'd believe it. Along the same vein, baby!Yichen reads completely human to me, and Bingyi of course completely demon. Something something the Cloud Light Sword bridges the gap something. This point is unintelligible and not narratively based but I had to make it because I've been thinking "wow ZYC elven" for days now.

Saw a tag about yuanyi getting us through some dark times but man they are PUTTING me through some dark times rn help?/

Been trying to put off talking about the baby Yichen scenes because wow I cried immediately. Well, no, I was like "yay! I love seeing baby Yichen!" and then they crushed me into demon dust lol. And then WX had to tell that absolutely precious story about when she got sick and ZYZ had to go like "actually ZYC was probably lonely as fuck" and yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyway.

Ending on this point so I can put a pretty screencap here: There is so much gravity to just the short scene of Bingyi removing his mask and dropping to his knees with that anguished and fatigued expression. TJR's acting is the gift that keeps on giving (me angst).

so sorry if anything here didn't make sense, i currently have the same thousand-mile-stare as Bingyi the more i think about how this all might end and how long I'm gonna have to wait to find out.

[dearreaders-things]

rambling directors commentary of my vampire!au julian x mc fic? yes? yes.

i mentioned it on ao3 but: inspired by the lovely vampire headcanons post from @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia bc who doesn't love a vampire's s/o offering their blood to be drunk?

title! bittersweet ugh this one absolutely fell into place while i was writing, i loved it and immediately went in to make sure it was like a recurring motif through the whole fic

i did consider spelling it bittersuite, shout out billie eilish, but ultimately decided against it because the "suite" doesn't quite fit or make sense with the story. however i LOVE that song and listened to it a lot while writing. probably the vibes match.

that one tumblr post abt julian saying upsy-daisy when someone's fallen? yes.

but i love writing him as like a Doctor!! that man is a Scientist and i'm tired of ppl pretending he's not! all the talk of recessive genes and unfalsifiable hypotheses and scalpels, yeah that was a nice lens to look through

dude maybe the most fun part of writing vampire stuff is deciding what lore to fold in. completely disregarding things if you feel like it and getting to add whatever you want? very cool. i mean, such is the nature of folklore :D

i think the vampire backstory of this was also inspired by ali hazlewood's novel bride. shout out to that.

the "metal burns you" stuff i'm pretty sure is from fae stuff? anyways that was a cool association. i also really liked finding a reason to give astrella, my oc, scars in this au. i feel like my fics lately have been a big flashing sign saying "author has dermatillomania!!!" but anyways

also the symbolism with astrella touching something she shouldn't?? mhm mhm that was such a good moment when i noticed it

also also it gave me a reason for her and julian to have matching gloves, which is an image that held over from a different fic of mine (obv in that one it's canonverse so the reason for it was they were both plague doctors. but still.)

sensory description is big in this fic and i love it. also the different kind of levels of mental awareness, going from kinda sixth sense for heartbeats stuff in the beginning then going into the full on psychic bond by the end? chef's kiss. i got a chance to use sooo many tasty words.

“Even before you knew what I am. How many times have you offered up your neck for my teeth?” was the first line i had in mind for this fic. i mean you can see why. look at it.

ok if you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk, can you tell i had so much fun writing this

let me know if you enjoyed this rambling, i might write up some more thoughts on the other fics i've written recently! (they probably won't be anywhere near this long lmao i just have feelings)

[jaqobis]

sorting out some finale impressions after sleeping on it

it's like.

moiraine being able to burn the ships despite the oaths; the protracted scene of renna's murder; perrin going into a rage and killing bornhald senior; rand one-shotting turak etc; mat stabbing people left and right with the dagger; nynaeve torturing the sul'dam but that plot coming to nothing (returning to that in a moment). like i read the interview, i know what the rand scene referenced. i can imagine the perrin scene was buildup for fear of the wolf. it's not that i just don't get it.

but like did dain necessarily need Valid Reason to hate perrin lol. again, i can see what they're doing. but What If The Whitecloaks Were Here To Fight The Seanchan -- which, yeah, they do oppose the seanchan in the books. but the specific framing of them to help and whatever, when no one else was willing to. specifically also throwing siuan under the bus bc allegedly the amyrlin also got a letter about this. even if this turns out to be a lie, this is the standing narrative for now, and in combination with everything else they did with siuan this season, yikes.

i read the interview, i know what the rand thing was referencing, but also that's a scene of rand acting in self-defense against darkfriends that were literally about to murder him. if he'd struck a second later, or waited, they might have succeeded. more importantly that's where he's in a situation where people have been trying to murder him literally day and night for, like, months. he hasn't slept in as long. the context is totally different. there is also a rand scene in TFOH where he talks about how it feels unfair to use saidin against non-channelers. you can just as easily argue that he Wouldn't do this.

i actually, personally, think it's very important for the egwene/rand parallels that her friends were there to save her from the seanchan, and that he later has to save himself from the box. i also think it was important for her development that she could know she has friends who would and do come for her. i also personally find that narrative much more satisfying, cool as her Moment was. i'd been spoiled about her killing renna going in, and like we can discuss morality whether rj was Right to ask if revenge is justice or if it's More Right for egwene to kill renna, we'd be here forever. i'm not really looking to comment on that. it is kind of a weird vibe to remove a meditation on violence, however, in a series that is anti-war, in a finale that seemed to make a lot of choices to depict and make this battle Cool, etc. that had us watch renna die for quite a long moment. renna certainly got what was coming to her, but idk.

Violence Is Cool. Traumatic Experiences Lead To Empowering Moments. that's the vibe it's giving.

lan continued to be used just to prop up moiraine and explain how she's feeling and talk about how good she is. at least daniel henney got a pretty cool fight scene!

tbf leaning on the whitecloaks and ishamael as sad and sympathetic has sanderson written all over it

making the sul'dam weak channelers seems to lose some of the hypocrisy central to the seanchan empire; losing some of the hypocrisy and deep societal rot undercuts the commentary on institutional-level change needed to remove the damane system. combined with the deaths of both collared sul'dams, that secret also goes lost.

(they certainly might bring it back and address it later, but arguing that It's 100% Coming, Shut Up & Stop Whining is just as much of a bad faith argument as claiming the show sucks bc hurin isn't in it. i can only comment to what exists now. also, frankly, i've been told things i was criticising previously were OBVIOUSLY going to be addressed in the finale and. weren't? so like.)

nynaeve really was allowed to accomplish nothing useful huh. no speech about justice, no part of the successful figuring out how to uncollar, no healing, no protecting her friends from forsaken, nothing. for all that elayne was immediately walking around everywhere after her dramatic wound, they could've just. let nynaeve do that.

like i obviously understand that they're showing the block is a real problem, which it is, but this is a choice that was made.

also not a single mention of ryma after her big sacrifice huh. it would add approximately 5 seconds to runtime for the wondergirls to talk about saving egwene and ryma at any point.

loial's speech about them all being heroes + mat's hero of the horn thing + crowds cheering (yes i remember the end of tdr) + etc etc really building up this idea of Heroism As Cool. could be something they'll work to subvert later but it's certainly an element that existed in the books at this point. that they've stripped out.

also like why even bother destroying the heron mark sword without the buildup of why it matters to rand or why its destruction was narratively impactful. unearned. rand saying he won't serve ishamael in a thousand lifetimes, unearned. there were plenty of other moments that didn't feel earned to me that escape me now, which. a shame!

i've already rb'd a post that laid out my feelings about rand thus far pretty well so i'll mostly spare y'all but. it's an incredible disservice to his character to take a scene where he tries to sacrifice himself for egwene/his loved ones, knowingly opens himself up to terrible pain, and thereby gets the wound that gives him chronic pain for the rest of his life and kills him, and make it...a mistake of mat's. like. yes, we've seen him try to sacrifice himself at the eye. there's nothing wrong with repeating this beat? it's called a consistent character trait. it was already a subversion of the conceit of a 1v1 op heroic battle. they tried to fix something that didn't need fixing, to make a point it was already making. also rand just immediately up and about after getting this wound, even with healing, where he was out for days in the book. it just doesn't bode super well for depiction of chronic pain sufferer rand al'thor. i don't doubt they intend to show us the wound breaking open etc etc but you're also undercutting significance on multiple levels out the gate. it bothers me! but i'm chronically ill with chronic pain so i'm not going to pretend this is some coldly logical clear-eyed opinion.

also perrin killing bornhald sr the same way he killed laila. except it's not even an immediate heat of the moment in the same way, he had to go out and find bornhald sr and stab him repeatedly and be held back. like i love hopper too (another death that felt really. gratuitous in handling.) but christ's sake. it's sure a Look.

tl;dr the themes??? ? ? the themes ???? ? ? and then i remember the sanderson of it all and i understand lmao.

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep3 "Dead in the water"

more rewatch notes/commentary I have while watching!! :9

Ew Wisconsin okay...

“guys don't like buff girls.” WHO ASKED?? dumbahh person of the week. I don't even REMEMBER this episode and honestly, I blame you pal. I. Blame. You.

“be careful.” Okay so she's going to die then.

I wish I lived on a lake :(((

HELP THE SLOWMO... uhhh rip girl?? Ig..

Why does Dean look actually insane. He has like 100 newspapers, and his scribbling out faces and circling others 😭😭 i'd call the cops tbh..

Episode three, and second chick we see hitting on dean. It's just bc of his long eyelashes I bet.

LMAO “can I... get you anything else? 😏” “just the check please ☺️” LOVE YOU SAM.

The way dean immediately gives up trying to convince Sam about hookups bc lil bro is still distraught about jess. Like yeah... no way is a hookup gonna seem "fun" to a grieving man

The side eye Sam gives dean when he's telling him about how the people had a funeral for a missing person.

“a funeral?” “yeah for closure or whatever” “closure? What closure. People don't just disappear Dean, others just stop looking for them.” WOAH NELLY... I get it. Bro wants to find dad, dad to find monster, monster to be KKKKKKKKKILLED‼️

vaild.

Okay so Sam is tweaking because he wants to find John, and Dean is— NO WAY HE JUST SAID THAT. “im sick of the attitude.” DAD DEAN CHAT!! also no way he pulled the "I've been with him everyday for the past two years while you were off at school—" BRO.

Great more depressed. old. MEN.

does the loch ness monster exist?

Oh shoot broke dam!! More like... Dam I'm BROKE!!

Dean being good with kids part 1!! Also this is why I have a hard time believing he's so bad with Jack like... LOOK ST THIS.

Dean and his 3 woman in three episodes.

“must be hard with your sense of direction.. trying to find your way to a decent pickup line.” HEYOOOOO!! she ate that.

“‘i love kids’?? You don't even like kids.” “yes I do!” “name 3 kids that you even know.” LMAO NOT SAM GATEKEEPING KIDS LIKE ITS AN INDIE BAND!!! also yes he likes kids, he literally raised you Sam wtfdym?

Wait so late monsters do exist?? THE LOCH NESS IS CANON?? just not here..? Damn I thought since bigfoot was fake that would be too.

I'm pretty sure it's some ghost chick.

Yikes more dead...

“no wonder that kid was so freaked out, watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over..” DEAN :((( I always forget he watched Mary die, cause like Sam too, he just doesn't remember it.

Dean is so good with kids :(((

STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE.

“when I was your age I saw something... anyways..” FUCK.

DWAHHH LUCAS TAKING THE PICTURE DEAN DREW ☹️

AWH HE GAVE DEAN A PICTURE!! they made a connection.

Oh shoot.. that man is so dead. “im gonna make some dinner”

OH SHIT ITS IN THE PIPES

your dead kid. D E A D. IDC tho you ain't Lucas

Ew don't dig in the dirty water. HOLY SHIT HE DROWBING. HE DROWBNIN

Damn.. and in dirty water. I could never.

Bill Carlton is cooked. Literally everyone he knows is dead now.. like damn. Wtf did he DO.

“my children are gone..its worse than dying..” MORE SAD OLD MEN OMFG.

Lucas drawing is important!!

Why don't these people ever be like “yea.. serial killer man..” LIKE A BELIEVABLE BUT STILL CRAZY LIE. "Why the FBI here?" "Serial killer." ITS THAT EASY.

Dean getting help from a kid AHHHHHHHH!!

“your... scared..? I understand.. you see when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared too.. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see my mom.. I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day.” FUCK. JUST TEAR AT MY HEART STRINGS THEN DEAN. “and I do my best to be brave.. and maybe your dad wants you to be brave too.”

LUCAS YOU THE GOAT!!!

so now they are looking for the house Lucas drew and Dean like "man where tf is it?" And Sam's like "uh.. maybe let's look for the church?"

“ohhh collage boy thinks he's so smart!!” Dean the goat of this episode

Sam twitching because he doesn't know if or how he should bring up deans speech. Honestly now that I think about it Sam digs into deans personal stuff alot, mostly because Dean is jaded and hides stuff but IDK it's interesting.

“oh God we're not gonna have to hug or anything are we?” like you wouldn't enjoy that..

The churchhhhh

OMG THE BIKE. IT WAS BIG IN A DIFF DRAWING AND HERE IT IS AGAIN. omg wait it is important.

He's missing.. the kid with the bike.

HOLY COW. all the parents talking about how losing a kid is worse than death, and hey I know what canonically happens in death and uhh, idk if your right about that. Hell? eck.. ghost life?? yikes.. heaven? good but.. mehh...

Rip lil kid. Rip

HE KNEW BILLY. holy cow. Dead kid knew billy. Billy Carlton knows something is going on?? WAIT WHATS HAPOENING.

So wait is the dead kid the ghost..?

HOLY COW THAT BOAT FLEWWWW!!

Lucas having another vision??.. OH SHIT YEA THE GHOST GIES AFTER HIS MOM OR SMTH RIGHT??

THIRD TIME GETTING CAUGHT LMAOOO. “and your not really wildlife service..” HELP.

this cop made sus. Why you so mad these guys are investigating a murder?? They weird but like..

LUCAS KNOWSSSS..

This is kinda like a call forward or uhh foreshadowing to Sam's visions, which is kinda dope

LADY DON'T TAKE THAT BATH. NOT JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA SEE YOU NAKED..

deans going back to town even after being threaten because lil kid was scared. GOAT. the goat I tell you.

“who are you and what have you done with my brother??” it's really not out of character for him Sam😭

DON'T TAKE THAT BATH LADY. YOUR DEAD. DOOMED.

oh whatever. I give up. EW MURKY WATER. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT LADY.

poor lucas.. lil bro bouta become an orphan.

LMAO DEAN THREW LUCAS OUTTA THE WAY. and Sam actually saved her 🤷

So wtf is after them. I DON'T REMEMBER.

Oh shoot puppy dog eyes Sam is back. “tell me what happened. Everything. 🥺”

More Lucas visions..

THEY FOUND THE BODY. or no? THE BIKE.

THE SHERIFF DID WHAT NOW.

No dead ghost Peter LEAVE LUCAS ALONEE!!

oh shit he did kill someone.

OH SHIT.

YOU WERE A BULLY?? EE. I HATE YOU. YOU KULLED HOM?? WTF.

dude no your daughter should stay away from you you freak.

LUCAS IS DROWNING.

Mermaid Dean 🧜

Sacrifice yourself for Lucas? Valid sheriff. Valid.

WOOO ITS OVERRRR!! MYSTERY SSSSOLVED!!

AW LUCAS IS TALKING AGAINNN!!

Dean teaching random kid his morals and tastes in music LMAO.

dean pulls yet NAOTHER woman. Are you fr?

One of my least favorite episodes tbh..

[t4tozier]

a little over the 500 limit, but for the fic DVD commentary ask - all of "you're a dog (and I'm your man)" 👀

OH BOY. yes let’s get into it. i’m sure i will continue to add more as i think about it but before i even break down any individual lines let’s start with the background. i’m putting this whole thing under a cut it’s going to be so long guys

i wrote the beginning of this (which ended up becoming the middle) on my commute home from work. yes i was driving. don’t worry about it. i couldn’t get it out of my head and i wanted to make sure i didn’t forget anything. i think it may have even been the same day i read your lovely fic (link here) because i was just like i have so many Thoughts and it definitely inspired my prose as well as the idea of jace performing the rituals to help porter ascend.

i just went to the fic on ao3 and saw that almost none of the things that were supposed to be italicized were. that’s fantastic.

anyway the first lines that i wrote were actually

The spell turns the air hot, thick and oppressive. It envelops Porter in its entirety, choking and soothing all at once. It feels like rage.

i knew this one was going to be from porter’s perspective as soon as i wrote these lines—i believe it actually started off as just “the air is hot.” the reason i bring so much attention to these lines is because i wrote them bc i was driving home and it was humid as FUCK out. that is the only reason this drabble came to be; it was hot and then everything else i wrote kind of just flowed out after.

i know that in your fic porter was the one on his knees in the center of the circle, but i can’t help the opportunity to add some more prayer imagery in there, which is where we get the opening line “Jace worships on his knees.” guys i love this line. it’s so simple but tells you exactly what we’re doing here. i think i tend to do this a lot, where it’s just one simple line that gets you right into the idea/action. idk if it’s lazy writing or not but i do love doing it :)

Porter’s not a god—not yet, not yet—but Jace’s ritual castings leave his lips like a prayer. Ritual has dual meaning here; it’s the longer form of his spells, yes, but more so it’s the contents of the spell itself. It’s as if the act of believing in Porter’s godhood is its own source of the magic that powers his sorcery, an ouroboros. He still doesn’t really know where Jace’s magic comes from. He thinks it’s divine. In the literal sense, of course—but he can’t help but hope that killing him, bringing him back, tied his new blood to a new god. He wants to be the font of Jace’s power. He has to be. It’s only right; why should Jace be tied to anyone, anything, but his god?

i love seeing porter’s perspective of everything happening. i think that this is almost a different interpretation than we typically see with starbreaker/porter; i feel like it’s typically that jace is the devotee and porter couldn’t give a fuck about him, so it’s kind of fun to explore not only porter giving a fuck but also wanting jace, being possessive over him, hopingwantingpraying that jace isn’t just bound to him through the shatterstar but also through his divine magic—and his genuine, true devotion to porter.

i hate the second sentence in this paragraph i’m ngl. i debated having it in there because it’s like. this is kind of implied right.

Jace kneels in the center of the room as he casts, head bowed and voice low but measured and clear. His fingers dance through the air; they weave magic through every particle.

these lines were very inspired by your fic i loved the imagery of jace’s casting. it also helped to tie the lines i had already written into the larger story.

Rage, Porter knows what to do with. It settles under his bones, into all of the slivers of his mind. It fuels his existing power (worthy of a deity, worthy of a following) and gives him a purpose, a drive unlike any other. Jace, on the other hand, he has a harder time accepting. He presses his fingers to Porter’s thighs, his stomach, his biceps, as if touching a statue, delicate and revering. But then, Porter bends the knee, and it feels like he’s taking his oath again. It is its own type of devotion, he thinks, as he sucks the magic off Jace’s fingertips, sweeter than devil’s honey. After all, what is a god without his followers?

Jace may not be a barbarian, but he needs the rage as much as Porter. When he’s on his back, he pushes Porter’s fingers harder against the jagged edges of the crystal in his chest, begging without words for more, more, more. Porter always gives it to him. He’ll give him anything he wants. Jace is his most loyal worshipper, from the beginning to the end. He deserves to be rewarded for his efforts. When they build temples to Porter’s exploits, weave tapestries of his rise to power, carve his story into stone, Jace will be pictured at his side—now and forever. The god and his sorcerer. Jace may not have died willingly, but with his second life comes nothing but devotion to the one who killed him in the first place. There it is again, Porter thinks. Devotion.

i’m also not a huge fan of the first couple of lines in this first paragraph LOL. i wanted a visceral description of porter’s relationship to his rage but just never landed on exactly what i wanted. however. the second half of the paragraph? oh. absolutely delicious.

i’m a sucker for religious imagery within sex what can i say. this drabble doesn’t dig too deep into that but this section is kind of a hazy look into what sex and worship looks like for both of them, with jace touching porter like he’s at the altar and porter taking jace’s fingers into his mouth. whether he can actually taste the magic or not is up for interpretation, but i think it’s very fun if so :) you also see a bit of the rage manifesting as desperation and masochism with jace which i also enjoy.

i wrote this before looking into porter’s character sheet too much—i still haven’t fully landed on his barbarian/paladin split, but at the time i figured he’d at least be level 3 and therefore had taken an oath (of devotion, here). i think it’s very interesting to imagine a young and naive porter who actually started out as a paladin before becoming kind of disillusioned with the world around him and turning that devotion into conviction (👀). i’m literally just spitballing rn i didn’t think about this part when writing.

and some of these lines also go back into the idea of porter treating jace well because he’s his only devoted follower and he understands that there’s a certain amount of give and take that comes with this. he needs jace as much as jace needs him.

i’m also 95% sure i wrote this before the official reveal that porter killed jace. i wrote it the day after ragenarock pt 1 and i believe that it was revealed in pt 2…so i was pleased with myself for that :)

The classes are more intertwined than anyone likes to think. Innate magic, innate rage. Jace may not be a cleric, either, but he worships like one. His touch is that of a believer. It feels like love. He heals Porter when the ambrosia breaks his ribs, not meant for mortal bodies, mortal blood. (Not for long.) When Jace performs his own version of Lay on Hands, pressing his palms over the other’s heart, Porter thinks he could even be a paladin. He doesn’t have the heart for it—not that Porter did, either—but when Porter clenches his fist and Jace falls to his knees, shatterstar glinting in the moonlight, the veneration with which his eyes gleam tells Porter he can devote himself just fine. More than fine, really.

Perfect.

i also loveee this paragraph. it reminds me of when porter is teaching fig about how she can make rage work for her when she’s trying to become a paladin—of course, he’s trying to make her his champion, but i think especially with jace, the connection between classes really shines through. and of course i had to include a bit of the shatterstar controlling because it’s sooo juicy and delicious.

my notes app drabble ended at “devote himself just fine” but it felt too abrupt so i added a little bit to the end. i think it works, though.

literally tysm for sending this i had such a fun time breaking this all down!!

[oodlyenough]

Re:DW, I liked the final well enough but I agree with you that the shorter series really hurt the development of team Tardis. I wish they kept Ruby as the companion for two series, would have solved a lot of issues I had.

I also have so many questions still? I absolutely don't understand why it keeps snowing around Ruby? That's just...a normal thing that happens?

Also did the grandma not mention to the Doctor that their neighbour was acting real weird?

I'm also very intrigued by Roger ap Gwillam returning - is that going to be an ongoing thing or just a nice throwback to 73 yards?

Anyway. I've enjoyed reading your commentary because we feel very similar about this show in that the way RTD writes just works for us.

Yeah, I know we're getting some Ruby in the next season, but she's at least sharing the screentime as companion, so it doesn't quite solve it. I don't mind a break over the holiday special I suppose, lmfao esp because it's Moffat writing it so whatever he can write some one-off idc... but with how little development the team TARDIS got in s1 I worry that the problem will be compounded when you've got three people in s2. I don't want Ruby to finish an arc at the expense of Varada getting one y'know.

I'm not entirely sure what the scifi answer about snow etc was meant to be. I think something about the communal belief that the woman MUST be mysterious (incl. Sutekh) infusing it with godlike power or something... I mean... it's all a bit conjecturey lol. I like the idea of "surprise, it was just a normal woman" but I think they could've offered more explanations around the supernatural stuff like the snow or the "shifting memories" the Doctor mentioned. I've seen a number of fan answers and even RTD joking in commentary "time shrouded her" (re: her cloak) like, just pick any one of those and give a couple lines to Ncuti.

(Somewhat related -- an explanation (of sorts) for the pointing, to me, was that she didn't point in the original timeline and did point when the Doctor was there, bc he was the only other person around, she's pointing for him. (Whether or not pointing at the sign makes any sense is a different issue to "but no one was around anyway".) So I thought that basic fact (didn't point in timeline A; did in timeline B) works. But it wasn't explained in the show, it's just how my brain connected the dots, so.... ?)

Not sure about Roger! I didn't expect we'd see him after 73 Yards, or for 73 Yards to be relevant in the finale at all, which was a really nice touch I thought. I liked that this episode explains what happens to Roger in the regular universe (the Doctor being part of the "overthrow") VS in Ruby's universe where she did it, since that was a question people had. I also loved the idea that the 73 yards is the perception filter distance... I don't need an explicit explanation, just that connection (and the camera with the mother) works once you add in fae magic imo.

Overall, as a big RTD fan, not my fave finale. His scifi nonsense and handwaves are always saved for me by the great character stuff, and the character stuff in this season was only so-so. Moments of brilliance (Ruby and Louise in the cafe!) and some great performances (Millie is SO good) but... in a way this season felt to me like he tried to get out of his regular wheelhouse (huge emphasis on the mystery box stuff) and then the finale was like, a return to his roots (who cares about the mystery! ordinary people 4 ever, etc), but the two don't quite jive. And an extra four episodes would've done wonders.

[zorya-reads]

Chapter 20.

The Lost Princess

Context: Lottie made it her goal to mess up her sleep schedule even worse than in UP, deciding to go for nightly walks every day. One night, she stumbles upon Jamie, injured because he casually fell a few hundred meters because he had nothing better to do. What follows is a cute Jottie moment and my rising concern for professional medical help.

Lottie not being asleep and the void only calling the name of Jamie into her mind is ummmmmmm... am I reading a romance book? bc this is heavily dark-male-love-interest-pov-chapter-coded.

Is this a Jottie Chapter???? 0.o

Ok just kidding. Jamie still hasn’t arrived from his surprise bday party.

LOTTIE STOP BEING MAD AT OLLIE. YOU’RE LIVING YOUR GUYS’ DREAMS. OFC HE’S DESPERATE AND INSECURE AND FEELS NEGLECTED???? (Lottie’s not updating Ollie, and his texts are guilt-tripping her because he naturally feels insecure, jealous, and neglected, which understandably annoys Lottie. Both are valid and wrong but for the drama: Whose side are we on? >:D 🤜🏻���)

Nooooo, Ellie having a nightmare.

Not Lottie asking herself, “Is it true that everything revolves around Ellie?” like that’s not a toxic thought in the first place.

Group therapyyy.

Lottie being scared that Vampy is gonna scratch her for not giving Jamie enough attention HAHA. Plot twist: Jamie is either a Husky or a Cat of the school as well. Like a black, angry cat.

COLD Y’ALL STOP GOING OUTSIDE AT NIGHT FOR A MINUTE?? YOUR TEETH WOULD BE TREMBLING IF THIS WAS ROSEWOOD. ALSO, NO ONE KNOWS YOU’RE OUT. SHOULD THEY THINK YOU GOT KIDNAPPED OR WHAT? AND WHAT ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF YOU ACTUALLY GETTING KIDNAPPED? IT’S NIGHTTIME, DAMN IT. DON’T CATCH A COLD.

Holy shit, this IS a Jottie chapter.

Holy shit, how did this man fall from a skyscraper, didn’t see a doctor, and casually walked probably multiple kilometres, all in just a few hours?

Oh my god, it’s raining dhdbshsjsj

Are they hugging?????? Shsbsbsb

Listen, I was happy to see some Lollie chapters, since Pip had more Jottie, and I desperately need this book to convince me to switch teams. AND THEN THEY JUST GONNA BRING A WHOLE “lol-I-fell-down-a-building-y’all-. omg-we’re-scared-for-you-for-hours-we-thought-we-lost-you-hugging-ITS-RAINING-CUTE-SCENE-IN-RAIN-UNDER-TEARS.” LIKE, COME ON, DUDE, WE WERE ON A GOOD LOLLIE PATH UNTIL NOW. SHHSHD.

CALL A FUCKING DOCTOR.

Finally had one Lottie POV Jamie description where she isn’t gushing over his muscles. Might have needed him to be very fucking injured, but ok. Baby steps.

Her trying not to cry seeing the wounds. Awww.

“I fell from the roof. and then it started to rain.” Awwww, I love it when Jamie puts two heavily different sentences in terms of importance and concern equal to each other casually in the same sentence. 🥺 /s

Sir, get therapy.

Awwww, him not wanting Lottie to go (……and get help. Bro really wants to die from bleeding.)

“The Goat-Man.” PFFFFHAHA I’M CRYING.

Ok, this chapter is all the chaos between “Aww, my heart,” “lols shenanigans,” and “Guys, you know that falling a few hundred meters and not getting medical help is mildly concerning?”

Awwww, he’s acknowledging that she’s a good runner.

/\ This actually makes me happy. Girly put so much effort and dedication into it. 💖

“The Goat-Man is Leviathan.” lol: Is Leviathan the G.O.A.T., is a Goat 🐐 Leviathan, or are they just trying to start their milk, meat, fibre, and skin business?

HAHA, NOT SAYURI COMING IN, SEEING JAMIE WHO FELL FROM A SKYSCRAPER, PASSING OUT, AND ONLY SAYING, “That’s a good partizan. Good investment.” (/ref SoC)

NOT THE ORANGE FAT CAT HAHA.

✧ Read All Chapter Reactions

Premise: I’m rereading the Rosewood Chronicles Series for the first time after years, so take my chaotic commentary with a grain of salt (or a whole salt shaker). Open to spoilers.

[bella-rose29]

episode 5 commentary - Death Is Coming

the usual warnings of swearing and lack of context, as well as a lot of comments on hands and arms and obviously spoilers for both the series and the books

girl has stare down with a skull in a jar

omg it's been so long since I watched and I forgot how pretty lockwood is

OMG HE ASKS IF SHE WANTS JUICE

WHAT IF THE JUICE IS ORANGE AND HAS BITS IN

lolllll George is shipping already and the episode only just started

Georgie needs more sleep

lockwood takes the Mum Stance

I always think that the DEPRAC van is a lego van bc it's yellow

ohhh you can really see how big the coat is on lockwood :(((

ooo nice detail with the lavender pin that he has

'wILL yOu cAN iT pAm'

hands

ugh Lockwood's so pretty

Georgie noo

'bobby Vernon will have been at it since dawn'

'alarming how quickly you got into character' (code for: I am completely in love with you')

careful Georgie that's a lot of blood

ew dead body

'I know him' YOU CAN SEE HOW UPSET HE IS BUT HE'S GONNA HIDE IT BC HE FEELS THE NEED TO BE STRONG ALL THE TIME

I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG

CAMERON CHAPMAN THE MAN YOU ARE HOW DO YOU DO THE MICRO EXPRESSIONS SO WELL

ohhh lockwood is trying so hard to not be upset and it breaks my heart :((( poor boy

✨swagger✨

I want an epic breakfast

'I hardly knew him' BOY DON'T-

wow she's a bitch let my boy do research

get away from Georgie you bitch

eeeeeee

'when am I not nice' Luce I hate to break it to you

Lucy that is very clearly a ghost and not a real baby

silly goose behaviour

'I did' QUEEN

'who's the latest slapper?' ICONIC

'oh wow, a female serial killer? aspirational, why don't you stick it on a t-shirt'

I love lockwood bc he makes sure the remains go to a good home AND Flo gets her money

ohhhh I just had a Thought! what if one of the reasons they made Joplin a woman was to draw parallels between her and Mary dulac??? one of the headlines on the papers is 'mystery madwoman: Bickerstaff connection?' so maybe they wanted to repeat the past but this time make the crazy one go too far and die? idk if that even makes sense but oh well

Georgie noooo

no leave him alone

let him go clean the oven and I'll be there to make him a tea

WIFE BEHAVIOUR

he can't even slice toast without being Extra

JONATHAN BESTIEEEEE

'a suicide note' Lucy honey have you noticed that your bf has a tendency for suicidal things

I really wish the bisto was in the background bc that would be hilarious

'I thought you'd be dead by now' NO LETS TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

BECAUSE HE GOES FROM QUIRKING A LIL SMILE, TO LOOKING DOWN AND THE SMILE DISAPPEARING, TO INHALING AND SMILING EVEN WIDER BECAUSE HE KNOWS LUCY IS WATCHING HIM

give that boy some therapy for free

aw two nerds talking about mythology (I wish I was the other one)

also can we talk about the STAGING OF THIS SCENE??? BECAUSE JOPLIN HAS A MIRROR OVER HER LEFT SHOULDER AND GEORGE HAS ONE OVER HIS RIGHT

also George has the city lights behind him and Joplin just has the beige walls and I love that for some reason, maybe to show that George's life is bright and he's got life left in him whereas Joplin can only gain brightness from George bc she needs him for the mirror? idk if I'm explaining that right but oh well! also Joplin's mirror reflects the light behind George which is funky

just you wait for my next analysis of the show which is almost certainly gonna be on the use of mirrors lol

THE STAGING AGAIN

FILMING THEM IN THE MIRRORS

I LOVE THIS GHOST SHOW

'how did you meet Flo?' 'can't remember. ages ago' LOL HE'S HIDING THE FACT HE GOT HIS ASS BEATEN

ohhh the green lighting

'I'm not worried. are you?' well not when you say it like that

while I do love this show I am very sad we didn't see more of lockwood using disguises

of course he knows how to pick locks

I don't like it either Lucy dw

I love how jarringly innocent the stuffed bear is compared to the fact that they're in the warehouse of a family with a significantly traumatised boy

lockwood and kids <3

sack of potatoes

I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she must be dragging the Actual Cameron Chapman out by his feet

Georgie noooooo

idk why he's looking around bc he doesn't have his glasses on so he can't see shit

I shouldn't feel the way I do about lockwood regaining consciousness but the expressions- I just- hmm

'I'm a burglar, you should call the police' honey not one of your better lies

no bc why when I first watched this did I think that winkman was the same actor as Pekka Rollins

winkman: 'shall I draw some pretty pictures on your pretty little face'

lockwood: 'omg you think I'm pretty?? 🤭🥰'

ohhh I'm getting inspiration for a fic I started planning 👀

I can't imagine having to pretend you're being electrocuted like how do you know how to act that

I feel like something can be said about Leopold wearing red and mrs winkman (I forgot her first name WAIT ADELAIDE) also wearing red but idk what

omg hedgehogwood

winkman is actually so funny *points at lockwood* *puts hand over heart* 'ohhh' he's literally us

aw lockwood pls don't say that she's got more to live for than you :(((

omg Lucy tells Leopold to get out the way <333 she'll regret that :D

this couple loves setting fires

Georgie seriously how are you without your glasses rn

green light green light green light

funny looking bird you got there george

'total psychos' dude-

'I prefer to call it a noble sacrifice' NO I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

greeeeeeen lightssssss

'what is going on with you' Cameron Chapman Acts his Fucking Face Off

omg lockwood saw the knife and then looked out the door to see what was there

that's such an awful angle to be lying down

omg poor lockwood

the way he's sat in that final frame breaks my heart bc he's literally just had someone else die in his home :(((

wow what a depressing note to end on

[fuckedupheadtotail]

Survey results

First of all, I'd like to thank all 37 people who took this survey for trusting me with such sensitive information, I take this trust very seriously and my lips remain sealed.

To clarify things, I'd like to explain why I use the word interest in survey questions. Some people would call it their kink, some their fetish, and some neither (but still think it's of a kink- or fetish-aligned nature), and just defaulting to calling it an interest just made sentences flow more smoothly than just going "kink/fetish/whatever you'd call it" ad nauseam.

In the questions with freeform answers, my commentary will be in red to distinguish from quoted survey answers

Q1: What is your gender identity?

I expected this, as well as the two following questions, to mostly line up with general tumblr demographics, which they for the most part did, but with some exceptions. The largest demographic here was cis women (41%), followed by unaligned non-binary (24%), cis men (16%) trans men or transmasculines (14%) and others (6%). I was expecting slightly more trans men & mascs and I certainly expected a handful of trans women & fems but other than that this checks out. Additionally, the cis to non-cis ratio is 57% cis and 43% non-cis.

Q2: What is your sexuality?

The largest demographic here was bisexuals (30%), followed by straights (22%), asexuals (19%), pansexuals (16%), tie between gay and lesbian (5% each) and others (3%). Surprised with the number of straights, especially since all straight respondents were also cis - certainly more cishets than I would expect. This isn't a bad thing of course.

Q3: Where do you live?

78% of respondents were from North America, 14% from Europe, 5% from South America and 3% from Oceania. No respondents from Africa or Asia. This lines up with what I expected, except that I did expect more from Oceania.

Q4: At which age did you discover or realize your interest?

This was a very even distribution trending toward younger ages. 35% responded tweenhood (8-12), 27% early childhood (7 or under) and 24% it's been with me for as long as I can remember. 8% responded adolescence (13-17) and 5% adulthood (18 and over).

Q5: Which of the following options would you say factor into your interest?

The four options I had here are things I personally default to when an outsider asks me why I'm into this. 36% responded vulnerability, 33% intimacy, 14% shame and 13% taboo. The respondents who chose other responded embarassment, control/dominance and the noise itself.

Q6: If you'd like, elaborate on the appeal you personally see with your interest

"I don’t consciously see an appeal, other than it’s cute sometimes? I do have a thing for vulnerability to be fair so that’s probably the main factor."

"The vulnerability of knowing that you're hungry bc your belly is rumbling. Also just love to lift up my top and let my tummy growl whilst I'm alone and in bed lol"

"desperation. an aftercare aspect is also important"  

"Just the concept of your body having its own alert system telling you when something is or isn’t inside it is really cute to me, plus I’m a sucker for ‘unusual’ things causing people physical arousal, and the idea of a belly rumbling giving someone that feeling is very nice"

"Always thought bellies were cute, liked to role-playing stomach issues as a kid and wrote sic fics as a preteen. Still into that stuff - primarily as hurt/comfort- but also became about it sexually. Stomach noises aren't my main but I like them as an indicator of discomfort."

"The sound, especially when it's persistent and loud (which is why hunger works so well). The feel of it growling against my or someone else's hand or body. The empty feeling right before it growls"

"90% of the time for me, I only enjoy this kink in more soft and fluffy scenarios. Torture and stuff like that is too intense for me personally, but I will occaaaasionally dabble in whump. Hurt/comfort with hunger is my favorite thing ever. Teasing and embarrassment are a big part of it for me, not sure why. Personal fave scenario is when it involves typically stoic and/or prideful characters. Takes 'em down a peg to have such a basic human need to embarrass them."

"The last one said vulnerability and I very much agree with that. But it's hunger it's soooo hunger"

"Noises and various round/roundish stomach shapes. Calming to hear"

"I just really like the noises, and how unique they all are :)"

"I enjoy the variety of sounds a stomach can make, though my main interest lies in hunger sounds. I love the different reactions stomach growls can get out of the people who hear/experience them, from embarrassment, shame, arousal, and even disgust (in the case of someone being degraded for the sounds their stomach makes). A major appeal for me is that it’s something the body does on its own, completely outside of your control. You may be the most composed businessperson but you’re never safe from the embarrassment of a growling stomach in the middle of a conference. I enjoy how stomach sounds can sound hollow and sad, or loud, or borderline cartoony. Personifying the stomach by describing its sounds as representing emotions is also enjoyable to me."

"It's honestly very hard to explain. I just like it a lot and I'm not too sure why. I definitely like the fact that people will feel embarrassed and try to hide it. I also like when people act stoic and try to pretend that nothing is happening x3"

"Just feeling the rumbles themselves always feels so exhilarating and sensual. I want to share that kind of fun and intimacy with someone with the same kink or someone who would be willing to indulge irl someday."

Q7: If you can clearly pinpoint a single moment that awakened your interest, which of the following best describes it?

72% responded media exposure, and 8% each on trauma and non-traumatic real life experience. The respondents in the other category were primarily concerning having no clear memory.

Q8: If you'd like, elaborate on this awakening moment

"It was always cartoon characters stomach growling when I first discovered this kink"

"I found a post on IsItNormal asking about the interest, which is what made me realize that it was something I was into."

"Courage the cowardly dog, flan episode"

"The interest had already been culminating ever since I was young through stomach growling scenes from various shows but one of the ones that really sealed it for me was an episode from Hannah Montana where Miley sneaks out and her friends Lily and Oliver pretend to be her through the door when the dad asks what’s up. All of a sudden a super loud growl emitted from Oliver’s tummy and he whispered in a panic to Lily that he hadn’t eaten all day. I definitely remember feeling quite hot and flustered during the whole thing."

"I liked the idea of stomachaches even younger but around 10-11 I read a lot of young adult novels centered around illness ? So not an awakening bc I already knew to choose those books. I also read the part of Stephen King's It where Ritchie pukes until the page fell out."

"Thinking it was "weird" and being in denial most of my life, then embracing it"

"I was watching cartoons with a family member. A character’s stomach growled onscreen, and I immediately felt embarrassed and hot in the face, almost uncomfortable. I got squirmy and felt the need to leave the room."

"It had to be when I was 3-5? Because I was watching Wonder Pets. There was an episode where they were by a geyser and it was about to go off and Tuck the Turtle said something about thinking it was his stomach growling. Or maybe the other guys said "hey was that you" I don't know. But I thought about that so much afterwards and then it bled into every child interest I had. I was embarrassed by it even though I didn't see it as taboo, it just felt really personal to me"

"I don't think I had a particular awakening moment, but I do remember several times when watching TV with my family, how I'd get really embarrassed whenever a character's stomach growled. I remember one specific time where I saw the title screen for an episode quite literally about stomach growling, which I had already seen, and I had to physically leave the room bc I knew I could not handle it lmao (side note the episode in question was like. good god man. tbh I refuse to believe that not a single writer for that episode didn't also have this fetish bc it was so over the top and in your face. [If anyone's curious the episode is Rabbid Tummy Rumble from Rabbids Invasion. Shit was wild.])"

"I think it was when I joined the internet and I saw other people engaging in similar topics to what I was interested in, and when I found out they were doing it because of a ‘fetish’, I was like “Whoaaa I didn’t know I had that.”"

"I don't remember the exact moment, but I remember watching a cartoon where a character's stomach growled multiple times in a scene, and I was ENAMORED. I kept rewinding the scene back and back to listen to the character's stomach :)"

"I was in 2nd grade when I first became exposed to vore content through Youtube. Even at the time, I knew there was something about it that appealed to me, but I didn't know what exactly it was until I was older. I realized that me discovering those videos ended up leading me down a rabbit hole where I also discovered that it wasn't just vore I was into, but rather bellies in general. I still feel shameful about it since I doubt I'd be into this kind of stuff had I not come across those videos, but I also feel that I've become more accepting of myself over this now that I am an adult. Looking back on it, I am also a little bit disappointed that it was Kphoria videos of all things that exposed me to this kind of stuff instead of something of better quality. I am also a bit mortified of the fact that my dad has caught my 2nd grade self watching those videos not long after I've discovered them. I just hope he doesn't remember that moment."

I'd say there's no right or wrong way to develop a kink or fetish, it's not like you can help it, so no need to beat yourself up about it.

"i wouldn't necessarily say it's a single moment so much as i experienced neglect growing up and the brain does strange things"

"Caught my siblings watching something they shouldnt have and got stuck watching it before I remember that it wasn’t appropriate for them. It was an animated vore video on YouTube."

"I think i can recall in very early childhood having a lot of weird feelings around this interest. Being very young and feeling like ‘hungry’ was a dirty word to say and things like that. Feeling kind of scandalized when something involving it would happen, the way I now feel as an adult if someone were to speak about sex way too casually. It was around when I was 12 that I saw a compilation on youtube of anime characters stomachs growling and that was when I realized my confusion around the subject was sexual in nature."

I can definitely relate to feeling weird and scandalized as a kid! I hear a lot of people say they as kids would always rewind kink-suggestive scenes to watch over and over but as for me, I wanted nothing to do with rumbling bellies, because they just made me feel a very strong emotion I could not understand (arousal) and being confused like that just made me angry.

Q9: Do you have any related interests?

41% of responses included hunger, 25% stuffing/feedism, 14% vore, 6% eructophilia, 5% eproctophilia and 10% others, including (most to least picked) emetophilia, cardiophilia and scat. Overall, 95% of respondents had at least one related interest.

Q10: If you have related interest(s), would you consider it a chicken-or-the-egg situation?

83% of respondents answered yes, with 50% saying their interest in stomach noises inspired them to develop their related interest(s) and 33% vice versa. 17% responded no, that they arose independently of one another.

Q11: Which cause(s) of stomach noises interest(s) you the most?

56% of responses included hunger, 27% digestion, 12% indigestion, 3% nausea and 1% no preference. I was surprised to see hunger be more popular than digestion, I was under the impression that it was the other way around given that a lot of YouTube content leans more digestion than hunger. Then again, this may be sampling bias at play since I did post the survey in the hunger kink tag.

Q12: How noisy is your own stomach?

49% of respondents answered only in certain circumstances (example: only if I'm hungry), 27% somewhat, 14% not at all :( and 11% very.

Q13: Do you have any bowel issues or food intolerances that manifest with a noisy belly?

This is a question I was particularily curious about because on the rare occasions I've seen kink negative people try to justify hating this interest in a way that makes them seem righteous about it, they'll often go for the angle of "fetishizing chronic illness". As a certified lead belly this has embedded some insecurities in me, namely that I'll meet a potential partner who happens to have a bowel issue and would feel fetishized should I divulge this part of myself, and if I fumble particularily badly that my ass will be spread wide open on r/relationships or r/AITA. I'm sorry if I just gave y'all a brand new fear. But I digress, I was curious if there were people in the community with pathologically noisy bellies who may or may not have this interest in part to cope.

62% of responses included no, 23% yes, bowel issue(s) and 15% yes, food intolerance(s).

Q14: If you have partner(s), do they know?

72% of respondents answered no, with the remainder tied between yes, they share my interest and yes, but they don't share my interest, at 14% each.

Q15: If your partner(s) know(s) but don't share your interest, how do they feel about it?

"he likes teasing me about it in a good-natured way. i am still processing too much shame to bring it up or be particularly responsive much"

"They like that I'm into it so he'll purposely make his belly noisy typically with digestion but sometimes hunger"

"Currently broken up, but when we dated we were actually both into the same things, they leaned more into the feederism side of things while I did more so the hunger. But we both enjoyed both overall, so it played a huge role in our intimacy"

"I'm single now but ex didn't mind and was happy that it could turn me on"

"I don’t have a partner at the moment but I like to imagine if I did then they’d be perfectly fine with it, but I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t indulge. I wouldn’t want to make them if they weren’t into it"

"This is my first time sharing this stuff w a partner (We met on Tumblr!) and it's a fucking dream. I never explicitly told exes. Most recent ex actually discovered my tumblr and was loud about his disgust but who knows if he would have acted differently had we been together at that time. (That ex was v normie and told me he didn't understand how anyone could get sexual satisfaction from anything non-sexual. How boring)"

I think you could have a partner indulge even if they weren't personally into it, many are prepared to indulge in things they don't necessarily like because just knowing it gets their partner off is enough reward for them. YMMV though, and obviously consent still matters.

Q16: Do you prefer to listen to somebody else's stomach, or to have your own stomach making noises?

46% of respondents answered no preference, 43% prefer noises from somebody else's stomach and 11% prefer to have my own stomach make noises.

Q17: How do you explore and manifest your interest?

I totally forgor to add an option for listening to belly recordings other people have uploaded, when I totally should've. Shout out to the people who added this through the "Other" option. 19% responded consuming fiction, 16% consuming art, 15% consuming prompts, then a tie between creating fiction and fasting at 11% each, then 28% other entries which include (most to least picked) creating art, recording my stomach, creating prompts, listening to partner's stomach and eating things my stomach tends to digest loudly.

Q18: How do you tend to react if you hear a stomach growling in public, or if it's mentioned in public?

"I feel a little embarrassed. I don’t tend to enjoy fiending over people unless I know it’s consensual- or rather if its in a context where people are aware that theyre being viewed in a sexual way, if that makes sense- but that isn’t to say I dont sometimes take inspiration from real life scenarios if they interest me. Usually if my body has a physical reaction to hearing someones stomach growl i feel a little ashamed."

"Embarrassed"

"Well the rational part of me takes over thank god. I usually will just stay silent to not embarrass whoever it was, but if it's bad for them I might tease them but probably suggest they eat or offer anything if I had it. I Will Not Lie I do find these situations very attractive though. In the back of my head I am not normal at all. Like I'll start tapping my fingers or shift in my seat probably."

"I try not to react; I'll sit there still faced and if someone addresses it in front of me, I'll kinda nod and laugh to clear up the tension."

"i ignore it as much as possible"

"If it's regarding someone else I just try to act as normal as possible while keeping a straight face. If it's regarding me, I'd easily get embarrassed about it and quickly try to change the subject."

"I'm good at hiding my kink, so I'm able to just ignore it."

"My body reacts involuntarily, I’ll squirm a little and sometimes get aroused because of it. I also get embarrassed, though I put effort into not showing any visible reaction. If it’s mentioned, I secretly wish the conversation would stay on the topic of it, so I could listen in."

"Would act like it was no big deal but internally trying not to over enthuse about the moment."

"It actually makes me uncomfortable because my brain is hardwired into thinking it's sexual."

"Immediate embarrassment. The same way a normal person would react if someone started talking about something sexual next to you. Like I know that to them its just 'omg my stomach was growling so loud today I'm starving ahah.' but to me its like your describing your last hookup like dude are you not ashamed?? why're you saying this so casually-"

"I usually get very flustered."

"Don't really respond or acknowledge it, but internally it depends. Usually it makes me uncomfortable when ppl mention it, oddly enough."

"Try to ignore it and might feel awkward/embarrassed but turned on and flustered if it's someone I'm attracted to"

"Interested/attentive to the details"

"Depends on the person. If it’s someone I know personally, especially relatives, I get uncomfortable. If it’s a person I barely know, I feel a mix of excitement and embarrassment"

I can definitely relate to feeling uncomfortable when it's relatives!

"Growling isn't my main thing but visible/obvious bellies get me"

"I'd probably blush and try not to get aroused by it >w<"

"I’d normally feel awkward and try to ignore it but if someone I was attracted to had their stomach growling or mention being hungry or whatever I’d secretly be really turned on."

"Silent on the outside but intrigued on the inside"

"I don't react. Weirdly, it's only hot when it's my belly rumbling whilst I'm alone. I think it's bc I've seen too many creepy comments from cis men sexualising other people's growling bellies without their knowledge e.g. a man talking about a "young lady" with a hungry tummy in the library and how he found it hot, but the poor thing was probably just trying to study and could have been embarrassed."

This was the main outlier in this question. I definitely understand feeling creeped out by cis men - no offense to the cis men who responded to this survey, y'all seem to have good heads on your shoulders - but my two cents is that hiring a cop inside your head about it isn't very productive, it won't stop the actual creeps and you'll just feel guilty over thought crimes. Maybe I feel this way because I see more of people swinging in the opposite direction - thinking the best way to combat fetish mining is to assume every kinky person is out to assault you if you happen to do something that turns them on. As I've put it in a post on my personal blog, it's beginning to approach "I don't mind gay people as long as they don't hit on ME ;)" territory with a dash of white woman human trafficking posting. I can't dictate how you personally feel of course, but I think it's important to emphasize that merely the act of getting a boner over a stranger isn't a moral failing.

Q19: How do you think your interest is viewed by outsiders, generally speaking?

46% of respondents answered unsure, 32% there's significant stigma, 16% split down the middle and 5% most people would accept it.

Q20: If you've experienced stigma over your interest, feel free to elaborate on what was said and how it made you feel

Before getting into the answers, I'm gonna drop one comment in particular I've seen a couple of times, namely that there was a very infamous murderer who appeared to harbor borborygmophilic desires. Even putting aside the fact that we all should understand that guilt by association is a logical fallacy by like, age 11, I do find it curious that this exact same person also seemed to hold cardiophilic desires, yet that's never mentioned when the topic of cardiophilia is brought up. I'm not saying this to gatekeep cardiophiles or whatever, you're awesome and I'm sure you have to deal with shit too, but it's curious when outsiders have this cognitive dissonance, the layman just has an easier time understanding the appeal and intimacy of listening to heartbeats because we put a lot of emphasis on the heart in many cultures, while the digestive system is considered more "unclean". I consider it similar to how hand fetish is usually seen as more "inoffensive" than foot fetish by outsiders.

"i don't tell anyone but i've seen people's disgusted comments on content"

"I'm not really sure? My besties know but after I told them I try to keep it downplayed as much as possible, especially since my main focus is hunger and that is such a normal every day thing. So it's a little awkward basically alienating one of my main needs as a human being and delegating it to some Weird Methods just to avoid saying the words "I'm hungry" but you know how it is"

"I have not personally experienced stigma due to this fetish but I have seen comments about it in a derogatory way, which has lead me to feel insecure at times (I understand most of the negative reaction comes from the more pushy side of the community but it still reaches the calmer side which is how I managed to see it)"

"I constantly hear how the feederism community is promoting obesity and how the hunger fetish community is promoting anorexia. I do get it in all honesty, theres obviously the people that take it too far sometimes, and I'm not for that. I honestly still struggle to be attracted to these things if its outside of fiction because my rational brain kicks in and I worry about their safety. I honestly see it as every kink has its dark side, but you just gotta know when too much is too much and if this part should just stay fiction. Like BDSM is a much more popular and accepted kink, and you could also argue that its promoting dark subjects, but if done right with safety in mind, its fine and great for everyone."

Yeah, it really grinds my gears when people assume hunger kink by default means starvation and disordered eating. Like grow up most of us just like "whoops I forgor to eat and now my tummy's bothering me about it" type of scenarios followed by a well deserved meal, and those who like more intense scenarios than that either keep it in fiction or take long breaks between play sessions and make sure to do adequate aftercare. If you can understand that people who like say, impact play, don't want to literally beat the shit out of people, they just want to inflict mild and fleeting pain to a partner who derives pleasure that by far outweighs the pain, you should be able to understand this too

"I think some people who do not understand the nature of how fetishes work may be quick to label this one as gross or degenerate. I also fear the stigma coming from the eating disorder community, and being misunderstood as supporting that kind of behavior."

"I've seen people call it weird online, never personally but that alone makes me feel ashamed"

"Not quite stigma, but my friend (the only person who knows about me being into this thing) sometimes teases me about it, but only bc I'm okay with it and they've never mentioned it around anyone else."

Q21: Pick a favorite onomatopoeia

This was mostly just for fun, but I was also curious if there were preference patterns between say, people who prefer hunger and people who prefer digestion. 30% of respondents answered growl, 16% rumble, 14% gurgle, then a tie between grumble and groan at 11% each and 19% other entries, including (most to least picked) howl, roar, whine, moan, churn and borborygmus. Squelch was an option but was not picked by anybody.

The strongest preference patterns I saw was the correlation between growl and hunger, rumble and hunger, rumble and digestion and gurgle and digestion.

Q22: Do you consent to your freeform answers being quoted in a summary of the results of this survey?

Just so we're on the same page, by freeform answers I mean answers to questions 6, 8, 15, 18, 20 and 23. I don't think the results of this question are super relevant to my analysis though.

Q23: Any closing thoughts?

"i feel like it's telling how stigmatized and shamed having any kind of kink is that i can barely even discuss it with my own partner who has no problem with it in private because i've internalized so much shame just from seeing how other people are treated"

"Sorry if I'm not exactly your demographic but this was fun"

"Hehe tummy go grr"

Co signed!

"Not entirely relevant, but I think I might be one of the only people to have both borborygmophilia but also emetophobia. Haven't heard of anyone else in the same situation, so I thought I'd mention it."

"This quiz felt very thought through and welcoming, and it was very interesting exploring my fetish outside of the little scenarios I make up in my head haha. Thank you for creating this, it was fun to do <3"

"I used to think my interest was a fetish, and theres a potential that it still is. Because I used to only be able to experience arousal when listening to stomach noises or imagining them. However I’ve found that in doing trauma processing in therapy, I am now able to experience arousal from ‘normal things’, like porn or erotic fiction (even if its vanilla). The arousal is not as strong, consistent or frequent as the arousal I experience due to my stomach kink, but it is real all the same. 

I think it may also be worth noting that I noticed growing up that a lot of people on tumblr with the same interests as me (who were also fem, female or woman adjacent in any way) were lesbian and/or ace, but had a preference for male stomach noises over female stomach noises, myself included."

I feel really reluctant to share this ‘kink’ with anyone in my life, even including my partner, because I feel a lot of shame and like I’m weird for having this interest. As a result, I typically only ever want to read about fictional scenarios and have little to no interest of incorporating real life instances of my kink into my love life. I’m only just now beginning to consider telling my partner about it. 

I haven't noticed the pattern of lesbian/ace women and fems, but that's interesting! Maybe it's a matter of trying to avoid objectifying women, similar to how some male musicians get homoerotic on stage seemingly as an outlet to be horny without objectifying women. Idk, I'm just spitballing here.

"This was honestly a pretty cool survey. Thank you for the opportunity! ^^"

"Thank you for this survey! It makes me feel less alone in my experiences when people openly discuss things like this that are normally considered taboo."

"I really appreciate you making this survey. I’ve always found it strange that other belly related kinks like vore and feederism are fairly well known (though are often made fun of) yet the stomach growling kink which goes hand in hand with the others is seemingly quite uncommon and under the radar. I can’t wait to see the final results and know the full scope of this community."

I think one reason we fly under the radar is because there's no widely used term. This is why I throw around borborygmophilia a lot, once it sticks maybe more people will realize this is a thing that exists, and in the meantime it's just a fun way for me to be pretentious and namedrop my vice while having it fly over the heads of most people.

[florallylly]

side a: eddie munson

side a

side b side b: steve harrington

explanation post

just going to go straight to my very very stream of consciousness commentary about each song but i want to clarify that i'm an eddie munson is dirty and gross truther and also i hate that rat man (endearing). so yes it might play into some of my thoughts

some songs are kind of vibe-y and you can tell when my explanations start getting contrived and bad but bear with me. i DO have some specific keystone songs idc KEYSTONE i love the word ok anyway

“I” Black Sabbath; eddie munson you are a LOSER with OPINIONS we get it. like yes you are so persecuted by everyone sure you’re going to prove us all wrong 

“Heaven and Hell” Black Sabbath; tbh added to match with heaven/hell in the other playlist, but somehow it’s kind of giving munson doctrine to me. literally googled and supposedly it’s about like band kids (??) but i think just like “the world is full of kings and queens/who blind your eyes and steal your dreams” i can literally hear eddie munson quoting it

“Fade to Black” Metallica; UGH why are there so many long periods of silence at the beginning and end of these songs. but just adding to the eddie munson i’m so outcast bad boy drug dealer thing and like. had to have metallica

“I Don’t Wanna Be Me��� Type O Negative; idk if anyone can tell that i think eddie is a big dramatic loser who thinks he’s the main character (endearing?) like I AM RIGHT… 

“skins” The Haunting; okay this song is saur…. like normal people scare me i’m such a freak coded

“Nosferatu” Blue Oyster Cult; a nod to Eddie Munson being a BIG LOSER NERD. ugh whatever honestly parallels a lot of kas theory fic imo, like innocent maiden steve offering his blood to vampire eddie … why have i read it several times over. in my head, this is like. eddie munson having a dirty dirty loser fantasy about king steve 

“Teenage Dirtbag” Wheatus; need I say more………. 

“The Sun Always Shines on T.V.” a-ha; yeah… YEAH. it’s a steve song on here. i like tried to do this thing where on each playlist there are keystone songs and this is one of them. like, the song that’s in the other’s genre is the moment they fall in love even if they don’t realize it yet. but re: the song like it’s so eddie having this realization that when he was picturing king steve, he only saw him through snapshots and now that he’s live and an actual tangible human it’s different. like  LIKE

“18” Anarbor; tbh i am trying so hard to add some of these songs bc they are so quintessential to me and my connection of music to fandom, BUT IDK…. ITS HARD…. but yeah it’s very steve harrington would never really want to be with me, i’m such a bad boy. okay….  

“Poison” Alice Cooper; eddie munson ur horny . eddie munson we’re sworn enemies like ur a jock and i’m a nerd and like could i light my cigarette with ur cock please please 

“Falling In Love” Scorpions; “falling in love, it happens to me every day” okay eddie munson i did NOT see u doodling hearts around steve’s name in the fourth grade

“Around the Fur” Deftones; i do not know why but for some reason feeling like steve still hanging around his old crowd, and eddie getting all weird about it. IDK !! does it not just feel so eddie munson

“Closet” Fleshwater; an interlude-y song here kind of an angsty moment for eddie 

“I Was Made For Loving You” KISS; SECOND KEYSTONE SONG…. this song signals the first time they sleep together. i am so sorry eddie munson but this music actually DOES give me migraines but i tried very hard  

“Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” Deftones; eddie’s dreams about leaving hawkins and becoming famous. just in general his wishes to be somewhere he’s wanted and where he belongs. idk i feel like it’s eddie talking about all of these grand plans for his future and turning to steve and being like “and what about you?” and steve doesn’t have an answer.

“Covet” Basement; “you are everything/my most demanding dream” like like like eddie munson loving and hating that he’s in love with steve harrington who is hawkins to the bone and seems determined to die there. 

“Ghosts” Scarlet House; in my head this is eddie munson angsting after seeing steve hanging around nancy wheeler or robin buckley depending on when exactly we’re setting this. but it’s very woe is me i’m lost without you. idk it could literally even just be they fought and steve is at the grocery store chilling and eddie munson is literally frothing at the mouth sobbing in his van 

“Saturnine Saturnalia” VV; “there is no end to the hurting/i love you” saturnalia was a roman festival where they indulged in mischief and partying and whatnot. feeling like at this point, even if it’s fake, even if it ends up hurting me, i’ll take whatever i can get kind of feeling. maybe it’s like realizing he won’t be free of hawkins unless he lets go of steve or thinking that he’s just a stop on the way to a white picket fence. and i think that maybe this is the moment when eddie begins to realize how deeply he feels for steve.

“Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” Deftones; PLEASE LET THE MAN GET WHAT HE WANTS !!! FOR ONCE !!! he is out here every single day dealing drugs PLEASE give him a sexy passenger princess to come with him on deals

“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu” The Maine; ik it’s a jump scare but KEYSTONE SONG…. the moment when they admit they’ve fallen in love. this is their aha moment. their AHA! moment not a-ha… but yeah…. eddie munson finally being like wait i’m in love with steve harrington and idk for how long but i’m in trouble

the future holds IDK ... just this part took me this long so PLEASE spare me i literally wrote this out on my notes app

[the-priestess-of-dawn]

thinking abt ur validar post because i actually thought about that a little in my stupid werewolf fic. I had to really sit down and be like "what the fuck would people even FIND attractive about this guy enough to have a baby" and I didnt wanna just use the occult angle and it hit me that Validar isn't self-caring because he hates he's not the vessel he wanted and yeah he definitely IS the equivalent of That Parent. You know the one. What I'm saying is maybe there's a commentary to be made here abt how the Plegian people and him in turn felt so dehumanized in general after a point even the extremist sects of Grimleal were better bc well, if you become food for Grima/BECOME Grima's body then you're useful and good and righteous. What gets me is Plegia isn't poor, either, but its poor in sustainability outside the ocean... idk, a lot of food for thought with Validar here. I didn't expect to think abt him in FEH so deeply but here we are.

Honestly it's kind of embarrassing how much I HAVE deeply thought about Validar. I've been wanting him to get into FEH for a long time now. A lot of his lines in Awakening are so poorly written that it's hard to make sense of him as a person. But even though you can't really argue that he's in any way sympathetic in the text... For me at least, there's no such thing as a completely unsympathetic villain, and I can't help feeling sorry for both him and the other members of the Grimleal...

I mean, yeah, when Aversa explains that Plegia suffering under Gangrel was useful because it drove the people to worship, I think we ARE supposed to feel bad for the common people. But I think it's easy to fall into a trap of trying to distinguish those ordinary citizens from the evil, manipulative leaders like Validar just a little bit too much. Aren't they all trapped in the same vicious cycle, in the end?

Over the course of the game, we occasionally fight some Grimleal enemies who are... really just nasty, and not supposed to be given a second thought at all. But I can't help but be moved that they call out to Grima with their dying words... "Master Grima... my life force... is yours..." (Chalard, Chapter 8). "Lord Grima... Rain down... retribution..." (Jamil, Paralogue 6).

The Grimleal... love Grima. Even Validar loves Grima. Aversa says he's everything she knows of love, but she also doesn't presume he loves HER, so of course it's his devotion to Grima that she sees. Notably, it's this form of love that makes her content to die for him.

So I end up feeling deeply moved, even though (or more accurately, BECAUSE) the entire philosophy behind the Grimleal is so horrific. The deep despair these people must feel in order to see salvation in the form of humanity's destruction... It's NOT just "hee hee powerful dragon will make me powerful" because these people, including Validar, do not presume that they are special and going to survive. Even the leader of the Grimleal is nothing. Grima alone is everything.

And... okay I talk a lot about the symbolism of Grima's name meaning mask, which I love so much, but lately I've also been thinking about the meaning of their Japanese name, Gimurei—from Norse, Gimlé, referring to the place where the righteous will dwell in happiness after Ragnarok, which will stand "even when both heaven and earth have passed away." So... yes, I do think that for the Grimleal, giving their souls to Grima is a way of becoming righteous. The world is cruel and ugly but Grima will make it right :::)

(Of course, because they believe Grima is the only answer, no one does anything to make the world they have any better. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. One that Grima is drawn into as well. When this is what they wake up to, what are they supposed to do? If they don't destroy the world, they will be letting a LOT of people down.)

[eric-the-bmo]

Blood and Silicon ep19.5: Road Trip

[Summary: This road trip is off to a horrible start. There's also small lore crumbs.] @kentuckycaverats @sanguineasylum @zwoelffarben

In the car, it's a bit tense. Percy is drawing and using a locket photo for reference; when asked, he said the subject was a good friend of his. Leo's still a bit pissed over earlier, so he's trying not to make it obvious he's curious about Percy's drawing.

Blake pushes Percy on the pack comment he had made earlier, and they go back and forth on the subject, dancing around actually saying what Blake is accusing him of. Leo is confused, like he's missing something, until finally Percy admits he is/was a member of the Sabbat. Blake is Not Happy about having a cultist in his jeep, and Percy isn't happy that Blake views the Sabbat as a monolith of wild killers.

Leo tries his best to silently follow along/ take notes as Blake and Percy begin to argue about the Sabbat and sectarian politics, dropping bits of sect lore and Percy backstory along the way; it turns out Percival is trying to find his former coterie. As they do this, Blake (who's implied he's encountered some Sabbat loyalists at some point) mentions the viniculum while making a jab at Percy- Leo stops like he's realized something, but the other two don't notice bc they're busy arguing. Blake also tells Percy to stop using Heightened Senses all the time at some point, and the whole thing is Very Tense. Neither of them really "win" this argument, so to speak.

The coterie eventually gets to a rest stop. Blake exits to go to the store section, and Percy stays in the car to read a detective novel he brought along. Leo gets out for a moment, and yells into his hands out of frustration before going "God, we're so fucked." He follows Blake into the store where the Gangrel is buying a few things to keep up the appearance of us still being human. They have a small chat. Leo is gifted some cheap sunglasses.

Blake and Leo go outside so the Malk can feed [and ends up drinking from a woman who was on some sort of drug cocktail??? He's fine, the effects passed super quick, but he maybe took too much from her :-( ], and Leo heads back to the car. Here, he requests something from Percy in regards to what happened in the locker room: ["Just don't... don't fuckin' look at me like that, yeah? It brings up things I'd rather not think about."] Percy says he can't entirely promise it, but will try his best. Blake returns to the car, and we get back to driving.

At 2am we get to Reno; Blake realizes he forgot to give Leo something, and hands him the Gameboy they'd taken from Kyra's base. We check into a motel, and Percy sets up a gun to point at the door while Blake takes a quick shower. We get set up; Percy watches the news, and Blake might've stolen some stuff based off a new report they see. Speaking of Blake, he exits the bathroom, and Leo notices the bandages on his arm. Leo confronts him about it (as well as the arm), and while Blake doesn't say anything about his injury he does admit to pawning things for cash and then coming back later to steal them back (as well as anything else he might like there). It's something he had apparently picked up while being a vampire; Leo's more concerned about the "possibly getting caught" part.

To avoid the sunlight from the curtains, the coterie all sleeps in the bathroom.

Notes/Commentary:

This is a bit shorter because it wasn't an official session? Anyway

Blake and Percy should physically fight each other /j Those two argued for the better part of an hour it was a whole thing

Leo's finally figured something out!!! My god. I'm gonna be real: I don't think I know how to roleplay his emotions about it. oh no and Oh Boy!

crumbs of lore from all of them....

[jade-of-mourning]

hiiii lychee :))

as you can see I have too much free time on my hands. but I have a decent amount to say today, so prepare yourself

I’m gonna try and keep this organized and maybe short so 1: do you have any more thoughts on the avatar mako au to share because it’s been rolling around in my brain a lot and I want to know what you have to say about it bcs the way your brain works is so. hajdhskapxn/pos

2: mako learning to draw by engraving his parents’ faces in the dirt of an alleyway over and over and over for years even as he starts to forget their faces. mako who wishes he could’ve afforded paper and charcoal at eight to put down something permanent, something accurate. mako getting their family photo from yin and giving her the scarf, redrawing the picture on the nicest paper he can find to give to her as well. artist mako,, save me artist mako,,,

3: more fem mako thoughts but makorrasami love triangle/eventual polycule(?) except they’re all girls. I just feel like the pining after your team captain who you now do know is gay except it’s because she’s dating a rich girl who’s also very hot is just a whole lot more fun than what they had going on in canon because. girls but sports au. sooo in love w that. also I don’t think makorra would get together in b1 like canon did for a couple reasons. for one, the girl trauma in addition to general trauma of being a homeless orphan. touch and gestures of affection from a person she doesn’t know well yet would probably be a no-no, and korra seems like a very touchy person, just in the natural way that her space is yours and your space is hers. also her energy? like obviously mako would come around but korra in b1 is so much more excited about the world than mako and I think that would kind of, like, intimidate her. (<-also reasons makorra could’ve worked later on but not when they happened) but as the series progresses, korra mellows and mako gets used to her. it works.

but then how does masami happen so early? because asami is the moon to korra’s sun. she’s calm and a careful thinker and after korra’s exuberance breaks down mako’s walls a little bit, asami would be able to slip in being everything mako imagines herself wanting. also more than financially stable. so masami becomes a thing, and korra is jealous, but she’s not sure of who which I personally think is so funny

but yeah that’s basically it. I always love how you take my silly little commentary and give actual thoughtful replies, it makes my day 😭

with love

🐌

snailon! good to see you here haha i totally didn't die for like two weeks what fjsgjhjkgfhs (i'm so sorry i took so long that you thought you imagined this ask hhh)

okay i actually have not thought about it for a hot minute but get this… i get like 40 hours a week back because no more percussion! so i have so much time!!! dude i'm going to rewatch lok AGAIN and then brainrot some more. avatar mako's love hate relationship with the entire fucking world is the only thing about it in my head. i'm sorry i don't have a lot to say about this au right now :(( it'll happen,,, one day,,,,

oh! (sobbing!) personally i am a fan of aspiring writer mako but also artist mako is extremely valid and i love the hc's you've built around it :)

girl for girl for girl makorrasami is really the best version of it tbh! love all your thoughts and actually that's a hilarious angle of korra getting the Sapphic Confirmation but it's not a good thing bc the love interest is actually dating a girl who is NOT korra except oh shit this girl is also super hot and attractive. what the fuck is this. korra my favorite girl in the world ever you're allowed to like all the girls in the world if you want and no one has the right to fault you for it.

anyway thank YOU for always sharing your thoughts with me!! i love to hear it and i'm sorry there was such a delay bhjfjgfh i'll get to your other ask soon promise. my commentary is a little bit dead today but i wanted to get this out instead of leaving it rotting in my inbox forever because i promise i have been turning it over in my head for a minute now :P have a good day snailon!