#had this sitting in my inbox since June (or was it July? can’t remember. it was from the 16th of one of those months)

[thespiritssaidso]

imo in psych, despereux is the arsene lupin to shawn's holmes, so in my head he's off doing genuinely insane things we only don't hear about bc he's in europe

It’s about time I release this ask into the wild.

I haven’t watched much of Sherlock Holmes (other than the RDJ movie) but from what I looked up on Google OH MY GOD HE LITERALLY IS

Parallels are paralleling at super high velocity holy shit

God, the mental image of Despereaux off doing insane shit all over the world is so funny omg

I feel like he’d send little gifts from his exploits to Shawn, just to let him know how he’s doing

[birdingbasics]

year in review, 2017:

january: there's this open bag of grapes on the table, abandoned, and he plucks one of them off the dry, wooden vine. this? it’s 2016, he says, and he tosses it in the air, mouth open and prepared for a landing. the grape hits the ground, bounces once. he does this over and over. it hits the skylight in my friend’s apartment, the one no one ever cleans, that scatters dust when you breath near it. he keeps trying, until he doesn’t.

he picks up another grape. we are drunk by then--me off my meds and terrified of dying right then and there and drinking too much to compensate, them because it's been a long time since college and they are all together, finally, and so much has changed so quickly. and our legs are burning, from running around the house holding suitcases. we were going to do every new years’ tradition. we did some, and some is more than any of us have time for.

“this is 2017,” he says, another grape between his fingers, and we all laugh. he tosses it behind his back. cameras are at the ready; music is being played.

he doesn’t catch it. but he keeps trying. (until the cat bats it across the floor, and we all yell at him to please not put that into his mouth).

the rest of us are all collapsed backwards wherever we are; arms drape over chair arms and splay across each other. they were the only ones that didn’t go home for the new year, and it felt like i was the only one who stayed.

“2018,” he says, and he throws it in the air.

he doesn’t catch it first try. but on the sixth, he spins into it, a perfect 360 degrees spent lowering into a crouch, his weight on his heels, landing with two fingers pointed at us, all yelling with delight.

“2018!” and we're holding our phones in his face to look at the video we have now, forever or until society collapses, “That’s going to be the year! 2018!” and it looks like flash and the foolhardiness of being young and not knowing what that means, but it feels like prophecy.

february: not getting out of bed. every morning i wake up and call my state fricking representatives. i owned their inboxes. still under the covers, dialing a phone number half-awake, slurring, brain somewhere else, to ask for something that shouldn’t have been a question. let people live here, if they want to. let us have doctors. stop trying to make this planet kill me more than it already wants to. stop trying to kill me faster than we are all already dying.

it took months for anyone to pick up.

interviews, job applications, job acceptances. “catsitting” (subletting, but so my parents don’t have to deal with the idea that i would pay not to live with them). for a little while it's me and my friend’s apartment and i walk the whole city just because i can and i feel alive. we sit three in a row, backs against the wall, and cry because we can’t fix anything. we watch terrible movies and make overly elaborate brunch foods and i buy clothes i still can’t make myself wear.

march: a job is a job is a job is a job is a job is a job is a job is a job but i will always be thinking about all of the ways that i can die and this one allows me to get so creative about it, but the security agreement i sign means that now my anxieties are all [redacted]

i learn how to talk into a microphone even when my mouth doesn’t do what i want it to, even when it always always always says the opposite of what i mean it to and i can’t fix it

i talk so quietly that she can’t hear me. i laugh so loud the recording splinters into pieces and i look at the waveform while editing and wonder how i could have found something so funny that the sound of it was rendered beyond capture.

april: this used to be springtime. i know it did. i am tired and i don’t pack lunches. it’s hard to make people like you when nothing you say is about you, when you meet probing questions with jokes and hope they don’t notice (but then they don’t and they ask you about boyfriends and children and husbands and you can’t you can’t you can’t-)

i can’t remember much, of april

may: “i said hello,” he says at the door, but my headphones aren’t on and he didn’t.

“did you?” i ask, and walk to my desk without an answer, because there are two kinds of self-preservation at play and if i am going to be the place people hang weird crushes they don’t want to have i do not have to be a stationary target.

my bosses start making suicide jokes. if they’ve become comfortable around me, and i am becoming more and more uncomfortable, does that count as equilibrium?

i stay up until two am editing and have the only good sleep i’ve had in a long time.

june: i fall asleep with headphones in to the sound of people laughing. i leave a friend in the lurch because i don’t know how to live one life at a time. i leave the apartment.

(my mother tells me that the owner can’t climb the steps anymore, that when i stopped subletting he had to sell it and now it’s being renovated and rented out for much more. everyone liked him. he had wes anderson and harry potter and instruments and paintings and textiles everywhere. he has two bikes hanging up that my mother says he will never be able to use again. he told me i could use one if i wanted, and the fact that i can’t, that my muscles work but i can’t, made me feel like a waste of a human body, and for a second i wanted to take them all out and put them in the box with all his books and say, this is yours too, i didn’t do anything to earn them, but i am selfish and i keep the things that are mine).

i sit in one place at work and no one speaks to me except to push me into panic and people laughing is not enough to stop it in a silent room with no windows and i put stories right into my ears to keep my brain from leaving my body alone in there.

july: it’s been five years since i’ve written anything; it’s been five years since anything felt worth writing.

(my therapist tells me that it’s called narrative therapy, that people use it all over, that there’s nothing wrong with it, that i don’t have to distrust feeling better so suddenly, that the other shoe is not going to drop, that there is no other shoe, that sometimes things just get better, sometimes coping mechanisms work without being unhealthy, and i still can’t quite believe her)

august: the summer begins to end too quickly. i am writing, and i am saying words with my mouth that feel less wrong, and making ikea furniture without help because i can do this on my own, and i am ruining ikea furniture so, so badly. i am owning things that don’t belong to anyone else.

it doesn’t make sense, to spend the summer working without going back to my own schedule in the fall. my parents ask me how i feel about the forty hour work week. “so glad you asked,” i say. “it’s bad”

they laugh, because they don’t stay up until three am trying to figure out whether they will be spending all of their time working until suddenly they are 68 years old, if they get that lucky, and they are retiring and they don’t know what they could do anymore, they are not young and their friends are not young and they are never getting married and how else are you supposed to be a 68 year old human being without dying alone? how are you supposed to live a life you can be happy with if the only constant in it is the part you dread, that reminds you of all the things that could collapse in your beating heart and your heart keeps beating even when you are afraid of it especially when you are afraid of it, and you try to explain that and they ask if you should up your meds again? just ask, and see what they say.

september: september used to feel like fall, i swear it did. i feel better. i do more. i learn how to make friends as an adult. i can’t turn off the part of me that needs people to think i am impressive and funny and benign and there is nothing wrong with me and if i could i am sure i would be much more impressive and funny and benign.

i am doing okay. i am terrified, but i am okay.

october: on halloween every store was out of pumpkins, so we improvise, carve faces in bell peppers and acorn squash. we spend hours on masks, together and apart; i try to carry myself through the monotony of being a person.

halloween is good. it’s the first year in a long time i haven’t cursed it. i hope that means something.

november: one thing about being on medication that you don’t think about is that driving is easier. you can have your foot on the gas without thinking, eyes open, head forward, any second, your brain can glitch and your arms will not answer you and you will not turn and the tree ahead of you will eat you alive and it will eat them alive and it will be your fault you will be dead and no one will know anything true of you. instead you just... drive. and you’re going faster than you should and your knee is locking up but that’s fine, because you’re just doing it, and maybe this is how other people have always felt when they’re driving too far too fast and no one is holding onto the door like they want to fling it open and escape.

december: i put myself under the microscope over and over. i want to make things, and i want to sleep enough while i do it, and you can’t have both unless you can talk about the things you do without feeling your throat close up and mine always does. i am networking and refusing to call my terrible mouth my terrible mouth and handing out scripts and trying and there is a scream somewhere in me and that is fine as long as it comes out sounding like, hey, nice to meet you.

i write far too much of the same thing and i don’t know how my life changed so much so quickly. (i still don’t think it’s good, i still can’t look at it without my body wanting to pull into itself, i still say christ. christ. christ. and you can read it when i’m dead and in the ground when anyone tries to mention it in front of me, as much as i try to model for myself what a normal person would do and say, but i like the doing of it. i hit a milestone number, the kind that feels good to look at even when divorced from content, even if it’s only the size it is because i don’t know how to abandon lukewarm bathwater when it’s really better off down the drain.)

december isn’t over and this all feels like cheating to me. (december felt like winter, once). but this year has been better. this year has been good? this year is being batted at by a cat’s paw and i am abandoning it. i am making plans for the next thing and trying to keep my head until then.

[adventuresaroundasia]

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info. 

I’ve noticed that the more I travel and the busier I become, the more impossible it becomes to keep up with my travels in real-time. Well, never fear monthly recap posts are here!

Pin Me!

This month I headed back to the US for a week of friends and family. First I stopped by Seattle for a few rainy days to see my parents, and then I was on to Napa Valley for my high school friend’s wedding!

May was also a month of moving. I moved out of my private office and into a public open office area (Which wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be). I also began the process of moving from my Andingmen apartment to my boyfriend Chris’ place, because surprise my landlord sold our apartment and kicked us all out.

Where I Went

I spent most of the month hanging out in Beijing, but for one week I flew to the US where I went home to Seattle and headed to Napa for a wedding. In Seattle, I mainly relaxed and did a million errands, but in Napa, I rode I hot air balloon over the wineries with Tinggly Experiences and attended the fanciest black tie wedding I’ve ever been to at Auberge du Soleil.

Unfortunately, I was a bit too hungover for wine tasting the next day, but I drank enough fancy wine at my friend’s wedding that I didn’t really feel like I was missing out.

The beautiful couple!

Posing with my wedding parasol!

Monthly Highlights

A lot of great things happened this month! Let’s go through my favorites.

A Beautiful Napa Wedding

Last month one of my best friends from high school married her college sweetheart in Napa, so I flew down from Beijing for the wedding. Fun fact: In the summer of 2013 I actually traveled to Tibet with her husband (without her!) having only met him once a few years prior. Weird, right?

A year or so later, they let me crash in their Palo Alto apartment while I was applying for a Chinese visa, and we visited the Napa Wineries together. It’s crazy to think that the next time I’d see them together would be at their Napa Wedding!

They were married at Auberge du Soleil, a stunning resort overlooking the Napa Wineries. This was my first “friend-wedding”, and I didn’t think I’d cry… but I did. After a tear-jerking ceremony, they had a great reception with food and wine pairings and a lot of dancing. I sat at a table with the bride’s cousins and high school friends and we all had a blast!

Let’s hope my future wedding is at least half as good as her’s was.

My friend and I waiting for the ceremony to start

We suffered through our heels together

Road Tripping with My High School Friend

Unfortunately, I didn’t get as much time with the bride as I would’ve liked, but I did get to bond with another high school friend who attended the wedding!

Living in China, I feel like it’s pretty hard to keep in touch with my friends from back home, especially my high school friends who now live all over the country! So this wedding was a perfect opportunity to spend some time with a friend I’ve barely seen since high school.

The two of us rented a car (a first for me!) and drove from San Francisco down to Napa Valley where we crashed at a Motel 6. Classy, I know. We had a great time getting ready for the wedding together and eating all the non-Chinese food I could get my hands on.

a beautiful sunrise flight

Floating in a Hot Air Balloon Over Napa Valley

While the wedding was incredible, floating over Napa’s wineries with my high school friend was a close second! While I wasn’t a huge fan of the 5 am wake-up call, the two of us threw on some warm clothes and hopped in the rental car to a parking lot in Yountville, twenty minutes north of our Napa motel.

I gazed in wonder as they filled up the hot air balloons around us. I had seen a hot air balloon up close once in my life before this moment and I barely remember it because I think I was roughly eight years old.

The sensation of flying in a hot air balloon was literally magical. You float along with the wind, so the air is surprisingly warm and calm. For one hour we watched as the sun rose and spread its golden light across the sky. We also lightly crash-landed into a golf-course pond and took off again without a hitch, our guide cackling at our gasps of surprise.

Afterward, my friend and I ran across the road to the famous Bouchon Bakery to stuff our faces with macarons and sip on crafted lattes. It was a perfect way to start the day before our friend’s wedding. Granted, we did have a pretty big nap in the afternoon… We needed it.

I was invited to check out this hot air balloon ride with my long-time friend and partner Tinggly, the ultimate gift-giving site for travelers. With Tinggly you can purchase an experience for a loved one that they can cash in anywhere in the world. Seriously, if you want to give an awesome gift to someone who doesn’t like “things”, this site is gold. I almost wish I could’ve taken my boyfriend along as a surprise, but this “friend date” was a blast as well.

[button url=”http://www.adventuresaroundasia.com/tinggly” label=”Check Out Tinggly’s Experiences!” size=”large” target=”_blank”]

Back in Seattle!

Spending Time at Home in Seattle

While this trip home was rushed and a bit rainy, it was a good one. First, I had the opportunity to see my parents and grandpa, who I hadn’t seen since Christmas. I ate all the Mexican food and stocked up on healthy quinoa and brown rice for my upcoming diet in June (more on that later). Seriously, Trader Joes is heaven.

While I was home I also had time to sit down with my mom to plan my parents’ trip to China this September! Both of my parents will be flying to Beijing where we’ll spend two weeks exploring my China home, along with Xi’an and Yunnan province. I’ll be sure to write out our itinerary and share it with all of you because it really is a perfect two-week China trip!

Finally, I had the chance to get some hiking boots at REI for all of my upcoming Great Wall trips (and hopefully a surprise long-term trek that isn’t set in stone yet so you’ll just have to wait!). Having read the book Wild not too long ago, I paid extra, extra attention to whether or not my toes hit the front of the boot when going downhill on the fake rock they have set up in the store. I don’t want to loose all my toenails like Reese Witherspoon.

Overall, I’m super happy with my Oboz boots, and I’m glad I bought them through REI because they have literally the world’s best warranty.

I forgot to take pictures…

Flying First Class!

While the long haul flight from Seattle to Beijing and back was nothing to rave about, I did have a chance to experience first class on the trip from Seattle to San Francisco!

This was my first time ever purchasing first class for myself, so I felt pretty fancy! Why did I buy a first class ticket? Well, when you factored in the price of checking a bag, it was only $40 more expensive to spring for first class. TREAT YO SELF.

On the plane, I drank one too many Bloody Marys and enjoyed my antipasto platter, while all the business travelers around me chugged coffee and worked away on their laptops. Sorry, not sorry.

I only wish the flight was more than two hours!

America! Why you so expensive??

Challenges

Life can’t always be perfect. Here were my least favorite moments of May 2017.

Why is America so Expensive???

For the past few years, my only time in the US has been lounging at home in Seattle, with the brief exception of crashing at my friend’s Palo Alto apartment for a weekend. What does this mean? It means I have very little experience traveling in the US.

Living in a place is much cheaper than traveling, and I was shocked by how expensive the US has become. Over $100 a night for a shitty hotel room at Motel 6? Seriously?! My Uber to In and Out and back was how much???

Living in Asia has its benefits, and us bloggers are definitely not lying about the cheap cost of living and travel. Why spend $100 a night for a motel in Napa when you can spend $30 a night for a beautiful boutique hotel in Dali? (Yes, my parents and I will be staying here in September.)

Travel bloggers NEVER get a vacation!

Blogging Overload

This trip home to the US was extremely busy, which meant I got a bit behind on my blogging. Seriously, I got back to China I realized I was responding to emails from 11 days prior. ELEVEN DAYS!!!

Many bloggers joke about how their inboxes are out of control, and I am no exception. But I usually pride myself on responding to emails within at least a few days. Well, after a busy week in the US, I arrived home to China, and then promptly suffered a mild heart attack.

My inbox was out of control. I hadn’t written a blog post in two weeks. I was behind on work at my college counseling job. I hadn’t even looked at any of the THREE paid courses I’m working on right now. AHHHHHH

Now at least I’ve kind of caught up on the emails…

Drama in the hutongs!

Apartment Drama

Throughout March and April, my roommates and I lived under the constant threat of expulsion. My landlord started showing the property to potential buyers and we had no idea what was going on. In early May we got the official news: You all need to be out by the end of June.

Of course, I wasn’t too bummed by this news because I was basically living in Chris’ apartment half the time anyway. I was tired of living in two different apartments, never having the right belt, dress, or my external hard drive when I needed it. So, I figured I’d wait out my lease until the end of June, moving my stuff to Chris’ apartment slowly over the course of a month.

In the last week of May, I received an update: they managed to postpone our move out day until the end of July!!!

JULY?! I had already agreed to start paying rent in June for Chris’ place, and now all of a sudden I need to come up with another month’s rent at my old apartment? You can’t just drop that on someone last minute. When you say I have to be out by June, I assume I need to be out by June, end of story.

My old room! (In my THINX period panties?)

When I said I wanted to be out by June, my roommate who I’m subletting from insisted I needed to find someone to cover the rent for July. This led to a mini passive-aggressive fight between the two of us, as I asserted that I didn’t think paying for an extra month’s rent was my responsibility, and she took days to respond to my texts.

How would I be able to find someone to sublet my apartment for just one month? How would I find the time to show my apartment to a bunch of people when I was basically living at Chris’ place?

But, within a few days, a friend of a friend dropped out of the sky and into my lap. He needed an apartment for 6 weeks and was set to leave Beijing two days before we had to be out of my apartment. Score!

So, I went from moving to Chris’ over the course of June to needing to be out of my apartment in the first week of June. At least I found someone to cover the rent?

Having a little too much fun on the wall

My Most Popular Post

The best post of May was definitely my story about hiking the Wild Wall! Remember last month when I talked about my Great Wall birthday adventure in an off-the-beaten-path section not officially open to tourists? Well in this post I told you the ENTIRE story, from hacking my way through overgrowth on the wall to the near-death experience I had trying to get off of it!

I also give some great advice about how to plan an off-the-beaten-path Great Wall adventure of your own, where you can enjoy the Great Wall with no tourists.

Last month I also published a post about an incredible new water filtration bag from DayOne Response. While this bag is great for long-term trekkers, etc. it’s best for disaster relief, providing clean water to those who need it most. Why? It’s reusable, lays flat, and can filter enough water for an entire family in just 30 minutes.

DayOne Response is actually a finalist in the Chivas Venture competition for non-profit funding and I really hope they win! Unfortunately, voting has already closed, but you can always support them by sponsoring a bag for a family in need.

Best Instagram

My best Instagrams of the month were all from my Great Wall adventure this April! This first shot was taken when I first spotted the beautiful lake through a Great Wall tower.

Don’t usually break the square, but I had to for this one! . After hours of hiking on a crumbling, overgrown wall, @aussieontheroad and I stumbled on this view of Huanghuacheng below. . While this wall is a bit dangerous 😨😳 it was worth it for this view!!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on May 11, 2017 at 8:03pm PDT

This second photo was taken on the way down. Just look at that view!!

Want to explore a section of the Great Wall not officially open to tourists? 🌸🌺Ever dreamed of having the wall all to yourself? . My latest post on adventuresaroundasia.com shows you how!! . Pay a villager $1 USD for the privilege of hiking a stunning, off the beaten path stretch of Great Wall literally NO ONE visits. ☀️Trust me, it’ll be worth it!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on May 30, 2017 at 8:16pm PDT

Finally, I decided to make a second Instagram account, just for fun. I thought this new account would be a great way to connect with my friends and post photos in real-time without worrying about editing them in Lightroom or how they look in my Instagram grid (#ThingsBloggersWorryAbout). If you want to see some fun, behind-the-scenes photos that aren’t edited to perfection, come check it out @RichelleInAsia 

Song of the Month

This month I’ve been listening to John Legend’s Surefire. I’m obsessed with this music video about acceptance featuring a young romance between a Muslim girl and an illegal migrant boy from Mexico. Enjoy!

What I’m Reading

This month I read Oryx and Crake, the first book in a series by Margaret Atwood. After reading the Handmaid’s Tale, Chris suggested I read Atwood’s dystopian series that Atwood likes to call “speculative fiction” rather than science fiction because of course, everything she writes could feasibly happen in the near future.

In this book, Snowman, once known as Jimmy, struggles to survive in a world where he may or may not be the last human. In the aftermath of a world-wide plague, Snowman both protects and despises a new, genetically engineered humanoid species known as the Children of Crake, while he laments his lost best friend, the love of his life, and everything that went so terribly wrong.

I also literally just found out that this series is being made into a tv show on HBO. I’M SO EXCITED! Seriously, if you like the Handmaid’s Tale you’ll love this.

[button url=”http://amzn.to/2rTxDqY” label=”Download it on Kindle!” size=”large” target=”_blank”]

Best Blog Posts of May

What are my favorite posts from May? Check ’em out!

Taking Mom Overseas: Our First Mother-Daughter Trip – The Sweetest Way

I loved hearing about Leah’s trip with her mom to Greece. From their rocky past relationship to their experience wandering around Greece in the offseason, this was such a great read. I can only hope my trip showing my parents around China this fall will be as good!

Falling in Love with Northern Norway – Young Adventuress

This post makes me want to get a new blog theme so I can display full-width photos… and buy a better camera… and go to Norway.

Orangutans!

Orangutan Trekking in Sumatra – Aussie on the Road

I still haven’t written at length about my experience orangutan trekking in Bukit Lawang, but thankfully my boyfriend is literally the quickest writer on planet Earth and has been cranking out stories about our trip. Read along as he details that time we were chased through the jungle by an angry orangutan.

Cultural Clash: Why I and Many Others Will Gladly Serve Our Husband’s Food First – The Blog Abroad

I’ll be the first to admit, as a white non-Southern American, the idea of needing to serve my husband’s food first at a party before serving myself was kind of alien to me. It’s hard not to jump to conclusions that any woman who acts in this way is repressed. But from the quotes of women from all over the world Gloria collected, you can see that the answer is a bit more complicated.

None of this!

What’s Next for June 2017!

I have so many things going on in June! Firstly, I’ll be heading to a coworker’s wedding in Fushun, Liaoning province where I will be celebrating amongst 500 people! Second, I’ll also be moving into Chris’ apartment, which will be a nice change from having my stuff scattered across Beijing. I’ll also be welcoming (FINALLY) our third foreign counselor at my college counseling job… It only took them a year and five months to find someone.

Finally, I’ll be embarking on the test of a lifetime: and incredibly strict 1-month diet. In June I’ll be giving up alcohol, sugar, and simple carbs in China. Wish me luck!

This Beijing Life: Month 21 This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.  I’ve noticed that the more I travel and the busier I become, the more impossible it becomes to keep up with my travels in real-time.