#had probably more fun with these than I should have

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Touch of Sweetness 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Loki Laufeyson

Sister series to mob!Thor

Summary: you make a new friend, but that’s not all. (short reader)

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“That was awesome. We have so many berries,” you dust the dirt off your capris as you stand. “What are you going to make with yours?” 

Loki squints up at the sky and doesn’t answer. You frown. He’s not paying attention. 

“Brother,” Thor calls him back to earth, “the little one asked a question.” 

“You may keep them all,” he says as he puts his chin down. “I have no need of berries.” 

“But... you helped pick them all. You should get some. Oo, have you ever tried berries and a cream? Or you could make a smoothie--” 

“I said keep them,” he slithers and pushes his jacket back to slide his hands into his pockets. “Are we done then?” 

“You’ve nowhere important to be,” Thor insists. “I would know.” 

You sway awkwardly. You don’t want to be a nuisance. Not like you always are. 

“You know, I had lots of fun. With all of you, but I think I should just go home now,” you suggest. “Thanks for coming.” You smile at Queenie, “it was nice to meet you.” You turn and look at Loki, “and you.” 

He peers down his nose at you as his lips thin. “It wasn’t entirely unpleasant.” 

You look back at the others, “what about the berries?” Queenie asks, “you could come over and show me how to make something.” She pauses and looks at Thor. He grins. 

“Of course she can,” he assures. “You could come now, even.” 

“I appreciate that but I gotta get going.” 

“We will message and arrange the details then,” Thor declares. “Drive safe.” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Queenie murmurs grimly. 

“I can’t wait,” you say. “Thank you for all your help, Loki.” 

His cheek ticks and he pushes his shoulders up, “it was nothing. Only got my suit dirty.” 

You giggle. He’s funny. Well, now he knows not to wear something so nice to a berry farm. 

“Alrighty, I’ll be going then. I wanna get some pictures of the bunnies before I go,” you chime. “Buh bye!” 

You turn and skip off. You’re wired with excitement. It might not have been a shining success but you made one friends at least. Queenie is nice and it seems like she needs a friend too. 

You stop by the bunny stall and snap some photos before you head off. You’ve spent enough money and time there. Besides, you don’t like driving in the dark and it’s a lot later than you thought. 

When you get home, your sister is there with Estelle. You head to kitchen to put your berries in the fridge. As you make space, Jada enters with her minion at her side. 

“Did you have fun playing in the dirt like a child?” She taunts. 

“Sure did,” you say as you slide the basket onto the shelf. 

“Sure looks like you did,” Estelle scoffs. 

You look down at your outfit. You have berry just on one knee and some soil on the other. Oh well, they aren’t your favourite pants. 

“You could’ve come. It was really cool. They had bunnies and a horse cart.” You say. 

“Did he stand you up?” Jada asks, ignoring your suggestion. 

“Stand me up? Who?” 

“Oh, don’t play dumb. Thor. You said that’s what he asked you outside the cafe. So what happened? Did he realise you’re a loser?” 

“I told you, he said he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. She’s nice,” you shrug. 

“Nice? She’s probably too good for you. I mean, she’s dating him.” She snickers. “Do you even know who Thor Odinson is? What he does?” 

“I would know. You gush about him all the time,” you stick your tongue out. 

“That’s not true,” she snaps. 

Estelle laughs, “you kinda of do... along with the rest of them.” 

“He’s a criminal,” Jada says. 

You just stare at her. “So why’d you let me go? I'm your sister?” 

“Oh, don’t do that,” she puffs. “You always are so pathetic. And stupid. You’re an adult, you can take care of yourself.” 

“Come on, Jada, don’t be bitter. You’re the one who’s obsessed with the outfit.” Estelle nudges her. 

“You’re taking her side?” Jada turns on her. 

“No, hell no. But you’re being dramatic. I bet he thought it was funny. She’s so dumb, it’s like having a clown at the party. Something to laugh at,” Estelle jeers. 

“Exactly,” Jada agrees and laugh tritely, “she is a clown.” 

You frown but don’t argue. She’ll just keep calling you names. You wait for her to go before you retreat to your room. The triumph of your day is quickly blotted out by the spiteful chittering you can hear in the front room. 

You wash up and get changed for bed. Maybe Queenie won’t message. Maybe it was all just a game to Thor. After all, what are you compared to him and his pretty, sophisticated girlfriend? And his brother seemed entirely unimpressed by it all. 

You fall asleep in a roil of doubt. You awake, little by little, and linger in bed as you search for the will to get up. You yawn and rub your eyes. You stand up and step into your slippers that look like cows. 

You go out to the kitchen and groggily flip on the electric kettle. As you wait for the water to boil, you go to the fridge and open it mindlessly. It’s more of a habit than an actual mission for anything. You skim the shelves and notice the empty space where your basket of berries should be. 

You let the door shut and look around the kitchen. The basket is empty on the counter. It must have been Jada. It’s like when you got that bottle of Coach perfume with your first pay check and she smash it against the school wall. 

What a waste. 

You hang your head and go back to your room. You’re hurt but not surprised. She’s been doing stuff like this for so long, you’re almost numb to it.  

You close your door slowly as you spot the dark stains across the front of your dresser. You flip the lights on and see the berry-coloured fingerprints all around the drawers. You cross the room and open the top drawer. You check every one and find the same thing in all. You must have slept through it all. 

All your clothes are smeared in berries. They’re starting to stink too. You take out a couple shirts and sigh. You could cry but that would only make Jada laugh louder. 

You shut the drawers and grab your phone from the charger. You go back to the kitchen as you weigh the day laundry to be done. A message pops up as you pour boiling water over a tea bag. You read the screen and swipe up the phone from the counter. 

��I’ll send a car at noon. Queenie is looking forward to it.’ 

You read a re-read the invitation. It doesn’t leave you any room for rejection. Recalling Jada’s words, you don’t think it is an option. Thor might be nice but he is who he is. You might be just as stupid as they say getting yourself tangled up in all this mess. Yet, your only family are much more sinister than these people your sister claims to be criminals. You’ll take your chances with them. 

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Abandoned and Recovered

Part 4 of the Uncaged series

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by @chocorade

Synopsis: You’re having a rough day, but your brothers are there for you…eventually (I took so much creative liberty with this one, it kinda took on its own life I’m sorry 😅)

Warnings: mentions of torture, nightmares, fluff, probably continuity errors with the show

“You’re not real,” Sam muttered for the millionth time. It couldn’t be real—he couldn’t be real.

“Of course I’m real,” Lucifer chuckled. “You think I ever would’ve let you out of that cage?”

“If you were real, then Y/N would see you too,” Sam argued.

“Oh.” Lucifer grinned. “She sees me exactly how I want her to…for now.”

Sam’s head shot up when he heard your voice cry out in your room. Lucifer was leering at him, but Sam ignored him as he jumped up and rushed to your room. He slammed the door open, first looking around—Lucifer hadn’t followed him here.

His eyes turned to you as you sat up suddenly on the couch, gasping for breath.

“Sam?” You whimpered as you rubbed your eyes.

“Hey,” Sam breathed, rushing over and kneeling down in front of you. “Hey, what’s wrong? What…” Sam swallowed. “What did you see?”

“Fa…his…” you swallowed. “Hi-his face. I keep—I keep seeing it…”

“Do you…see him now?” Sam whispered, as if Lucifer would hear him.

“What?” You blinked up at Sam, face scrunched in confusion. You shook your head slowly, focused more on breathing than trying to speak.

“Then…” Sam glanced around the room nervously as he tried to gather his thoughts. “Then how…where did you see him?”

“Sleep,” you whimpered. “Every time I…I…”

Sam took in your appearance suddenly, struck by how much you looked like him—sleep deprived.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Sam breathed. “Because you don’t want to see him.”

You nodded. “Isn’t that why you haven’t slept?” You asked.

Sam swallowed, staying silent. He wouldn’t tell you the truth, he couldn’t. He wasn’t avoiding sleep to avoid Lucifer—he couldn’t sleep because of Lucifer. But if you thought that Lucifer was here…

Your hand in Sam’s caught his attention, and you squeezed his hand twice; a reminder.

You promised never to lie to me.

“I’m…” Sam swallowed. “I—“

“Hey.” Dean’s voice interrupted the moment. “C’mon, me and Bobby might just have a plan.”

You started to get up, staggering a little in exhaustion. Sam grabbed hold of your arms.

“Maybe you should stay here,” Sam said.

You shook your head hard, but Sam didn’t relent.

“You haven’t gotten enough sleep,” he argued.

“He’s got a point,” Dean said. “We’ll do this one without you, kid. You stay here and get some sleep.”

You grabbed onto Sam’s hand, and he glanced back. The look in your eyes was clear:

Don’t leave me here alone.

But Sam had something else in the back of his mind—if he left, would Lucifer go with him? Would you be ok if the two of you were separated? He still couldn’t be sure if the Lucifer he was seeing was real or not, but if he was, and he was also somehow haunting you when you fell asleep…

Maybe Sam just needed to stay away from you, and you’d be ok. It wouldn’t be the first time Lucifer made the two of you stay apart. It was one of his favorite games in the cage.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Sam was only feet from you, crawling on his blood-soaked knees after a long “fun session” with Lucifer, when Lucifer’s hand in Sam’s matted hair brought him to a halt.

“Huh Sammy?” Lucifer’s eyes flickered to you. “Oh, did you wanna see little sis? I think the two of you have had enough bonding time, don’t you? So how about this…if you go near her again without my permission…I’m gonna make her regret it. And then I’m gonna make you regret it.”

And he did. Again and again and—

Your tug on Sam’s arm pulled him back to reality. You were still staring at him with those desperate eyes…

But he couldn’t let you be in pain. Not when this might stop it.

“We’ll be back soon,” Sam promised. “You should try to get some sleep.”

Sam pulled his hand from yours, and you trailed right behind him as he turned and left your room. When he still wouldn’t look at you, you turned your attention to Dean, grabbing hold of his hand instead.

“I’m sorry kid,” Dean said, pulling his hand away and placing both his hands on your shoulders. “You gotta stay here, and you know why. Please, I can’t be worried about you while we do this. I need you to stay here.”

“We going or what?” Bobby’s voice from the other room caught your brothers’ attention. You didn’t say anything as they left, but the despair in your eyes as you watched Sam turn away would stick in his brain—and his conscience—for far too long.

…

You started out by laying down on your bed—the last thing you wanted to do was sleep, but maybe if you did, then Sam would stay with you next time. There was something he wasn’t telling you, you just knew it, but you didn’t know what. Why wouldn’t he talk to you? The two of you had promised never to lie to each other, and this was about Lu…about him.

You were so busy worrying about Sam that you didn’t even notice yourself giving into your exhaustion until it was too late to try to stop it…

“You didn’t really think I let you leave, did you?”

The voice hit you before you even opened your eyes.

“No no no no,” you breathed. “Wake up wake up, it’s just a dream, wake up.”

“Actually you’ve got that backwards.” A rough grip on your neck had your eyes snapping open of their own accord to see Lucifer leering at you. “This is reality. All that with your brothers? That’s the dream. That I gave you, by the way. And it’s as close as you’re ever gonna get to good ol’ Dean..”

“Why would you do that?” You whimpered. “Why would you ever let me be happy, even in a dream?”

“Oh.” Lucifer chuckled. “Because it’s so much more fun to hurt you when you think I can’t. I get to dangle the happiness in front of you…” Lucifer took hold of a chunk of your hair, letting the strands dangle in front of your eyes. “And then I rip it away.” The hand in your hair tightened as Lucifer yanked on it, dragging you to your knees. He ignored your cry of pain as he continued. “Oh, and…I remember telling you not to speak…seems like someone forgot the rules.”

“No.” You shook your head. “You don’t get to tell me that. You’re a dream, you’re just a dream!”

“Aww,” Lucifer cooed. “I knew letting you see Dean again would put some fight in you. It was getting so boring, all torture no fight.” The face—Nick’s face—started disintegrating piece by piece, and you squeezed your eyes shut before Lucifer’s real face could appear.

“Again and again, she forgets the rules.” Lucifer clicked his tongue. “This could take longer than I thought.” Lucifer’s hands were on your face now, pressing down on your closed eyelids. “C’mon now, you look at me when I talk to you.” He pressed harder, and you whimpered when you felt warm blood trickle down the side of your face from your eyes. “Feel that?” He whispered, the cold air of his breath invading your ears. “That doesn’t feel like a dream, does it? This next part won’t, either.”

His hands retreated from your eyes, which you kept tightly shut—whether because you were scared of the pain or if seeing Lucifer, you weren’t sure. Your breath came in quick gasps as you waited for him to do something. Instead of feeling his touch, you heard his laughter, echoing from every corner of the cage so you couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore; the anticipation of the pain was almost worse than the pain itself. Despite the stinging in your eyes, you slowly forced them open…

You were in Bobby’s house, in your room. You lifted your hands to your face—no blood. The pain was slowly fading away, too…

But you could still hear the laugh. It was everywhere—in the room, in your head. You plugged your ears, but it just got louder and louder…

“It was just a dream, just a dream.” You couldn’t hear your own voice, and you realized you hadn’t spoken aloud. You tried again to speak, but you couldn’t force your mouth around the words.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you could still hear Lucifer’s words.

“I remember telling you not to speak…seems like someone’s forgotten the rules.”

You blinked rapidly, afraid to let your eyes close too long. Afraid to go back to the cage.

When the sound of Lucifer’s laughter finally faded, you forced yourself to your feet. You had to get up; you couldn’t go back to sleep. You made your way to the kitchen—maybe some food or something to drink would keep you awake.

You’d just retrieved a glass from the cabinet when—

“Did you miss me?”

The glass shattered on the ground as you whipped your head around, searching for the source of the voice—his voice. There was nothing; no one. You continued to glance around in absolute silence, your breath slowly picking up as you became more panicked despite still not seeing him. Slowly, you reached down to pick up the broken glass.

“There are consequences for breaking things.”

Your fingers slipped, and you whimpered as the glass sliced into your palms. You took a step away from the glass, still looking around for the source of the voice. The glass was still sliding around in your blood soaked fingers, and you dropped a large piece onto your foot. Your hardly even noticed the pain as panic clogged your airways as you collapsed backwards, sitting down on the cold tiles and trying to force breath in and out of your lungs.

You couldn’t even tell where the blood on you was coming from anymore—was it just your hands, or did you cut your feet? You couldn’t feel anything but the fear.

You hyperventilated as Lucifer’s chilling laugh echoed around you yet again. You couldn’t force the voice out of your head, but you did force yourself to keep your eyes open, too afraid that if you closed them again he’d return.

You were still sobbing on the floor of Bobby’s kitchen when the laughter finally died away. You didn’t move for a long moment, unable to breathe and unsure if the sounds would return. As your cries faded to whimpers, you slowly forced yourself up. You threw away the little bits of glass still in your hands, too afraid of your own clumsiness to pick the rest up—if the voice came again, you knew you wouldn’t be able to control yourself.

You got Bobby’s first aid kit from the cabinet and did a crap job at wrapping up whatever cuts you found. You were too distracted to realize that you hadn’t even cleaned the cuts.

“I’m going to get you.”

You whimpered.

“You’re mine, little thing. You always will be.”

You bit back a sob, forcing yourself to stay quiet as the voice echoed in your head and in the room.

“Y/N…”

“Y/N…”

“Y/N!”

You gasped in surprise when hands gripped your shoulders. You blinked, focusing your eyes. Dean was in front of you, his green eyes flooded with worry.

“Jeez kid, where were you? You looked like your mind was on another planet.”

You threw yourself into Dean’s arms, and he staggered a little in surprise.

“Whoa, hey, it’s ok. How long have you just been sitting here?”

“Dean!” Sam’s voice caught both your’s and Dean’s attentions. “There’s blood and glass all over the floor in here.”

“What?” Dean pulled you away. “Hey, are you hurt? There’s blood all over you, where are you cut?”

“What, were you throwing glass around?” Bobby glanced around at the mess all over the kitchen floor. When he turned his gaze to you, he saw that you’d missed the lightness in his tone—your eyes were wide and you were shaking. “Hey, I didn’t mean…it was just a joke, kid, I promise.”

Dean was still trying to find where you were hurt, and when Sam heard you start to cry he looked up.

“Hey, Bobby…” Sam got Bobby’s attention and left the mess in the kitchen for him to clean, coming straight to you. Dean stepped to the side to give Sam room. “Hi,” Sam said gently, making sure you saw him before he reached out and grabbed your hand, squeezing it once. Your eyes snapped to his, his familiar gesture grounding. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you,” he promised. “Bobby’s not mad, it’s ok. We just wanna get you fixed up, ok?”

You squeezed his hand twice in answer, and he smiled. Sam lifted you in his arms, his shoes crunching on the glass as he carried you over to the kitchen counter and set you down. He carefully and silently removed your bandages while Dean filled a large bowl with warm water.

“I’ve gotta clean those cuts,” Dean said, ringing out a rag.

“Alright, give me a second,” Sam replied before turning his attention back on you. “Y/N, sweetheart. Dean’s gonna clean up some of these cuts, ok? It’s gonna hurt for a little bit, but we’re gonna get you fixed up.”

Dean wasn’t used to seeing you like this—needing reassurance before every movement, not prepared to handle pain—so he let Sam tell him when it was ok to start cleaning you up. Once Sam nodded at him, Dean got to work.

“There’s some glass stuck in these,” Dean said. “I’m gonna have to get it out, ok kid?”

You nodded mutely, and Dean sighed.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Sam asked, trying to keep your eyes and attention on him so you wouldn’t be staring at Dean.

You shook your head again.

“I thought you were gonna get some sleep,” Sam pried. “Did you have another nightmare?” Instead of nodding, you just stared at Sam. “What?” He asked. Again, nothing.

“Kid, you’ve gotta give us something,” Dean said.

“Pretty hard to get some help when you can’t speak, huh?”

You flinched hard when Lucifer’s voice returned to your mind.

Dean watched as Sam’s gaze turned fearfully to the corner of the room at the exact same time you flinched.

“What was that?” Dean demanded. Sam tore his gaze from Lucifer and put his attention on Dean.

“What was what?” Sam followed Dean’s gaze to you—you weren’t looking at the corner where Lucifer was sitting, but you were uncharacteristically stiff and still. “Did…” Sam swallowed. “Kiddo, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Dean asked. “What’s going on?” He didn’t notice what he was doing with his hands, but when you hissed in pain he turned his attention back to where he was pulling glass from your cut. “Ok, just…” Dean huffed. “Let me finish this. We can talk about the rest in a minute.

The three of you lapsed into silence while Dean removed the glass, then cleaned your cuts, then re-bandaged them.

“There you go,” he said, tapping your hands gently. “Good as new.” When you threw yourself at him, he wrapped his arms tightly around you. “Ok, yeah, I’m right here,” he soothed. “You’re ok.”

“How about we just relax for a little bit,” Sam suggested. “You can tell us about your day when you feel a little better, ok? Let’s just watch a movie.”

Bobby had already finished cleaning up the kitchen at this point, so now he turned to the three of you.

“You know where the DVDs are—I’ll make us all some sandwiches.”

Dean carried you to the couch without another word, letting you lean against him while Sam got a movie going. Sam then got comfortable next to you, squishing you between your big brothers.

“You’re safe,” Sam promised in a whisper, and you managed to smile at him.

The smile dropped in an instant when the voice of your nightmares returned.

“You will never be safe.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz

Series Taglist:

@redbird-tf

[porcupine-girl]

Dear Principled Third-Party or Non-Voter,

This is one last-ditch effort to reach out to you. I understand that you want the Democrats to move left, and you think that voting third party will do that. I fully understand this because I felt the same way in 2000!

I voted for Ralph Nader because even though Al Gore did a whole documentary about climate change, I thought the Democrats overall didn’t care about the environment enough. Plus he wanted exoneration for drug-related non-violent crimes and all sorts of other things that I thought the Democrats should be pushing for. I didn’t really think Nader could win, and didn’t even particularly think he should win-I wanted to send a message. To tell the Democrats “hey, I may only be 21, but I’m onto you and I think your platform should be more like this guy’s.”

So. What happened? Bush got elected. And here’s the real point:

Did losing due to people voting for Nader push the Democrats left?

Well, if it had, you’d probably be planning to vote for them this year.

Now, maybe, maybe there was a chance that it could have done that. But then 9/11 happened less than a year into Bush’s term, and suddenly they’re dealing with terrorists and war, and an American public that veered to the right* - they did not have the time, energy, or resources to think about the far left, plus it was no longer advantageous in an election.

“But that was 9/11!” you cry. “That was a major historical event that hasn’t been repeated! We won’t have another 9/11!”

Well, maybe not (and the pandemic, while a major historical event, had entirely different effects). But the thing is, if Trump wins, it’s basically 24/7 9/11 mode for the next four years.

Do you actually remember the Trump years?

Democrats were NOT busy moving left. No, they were busy constantly scrambling to mitigate the worst of him.

Talking John McCain (who, remember, IS DEAD NOW and cannot repeat this act) into voting with them so the ACA didn’t get repealed. Trying to get the impeachment for intimidating and blackmailing our ally to stick. Filibustering (unsuccessfully) the appointment of Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, to try and prevent him from doing all the shit he did.

THAT is what you will get if Trump wins, only with event more crazy MAGA sycophants in Congress than last time. Democrats won’t be going “oh gosh, we could’ve picked up 1% of 18-35-year-olds if we’d taken a stand on Palestine,” they’ll be too busy going OH FUCK HOW DO WE KEEP TRUMP FROM TALKING NETANYAHU INTO LITERALLY NUKING GAZA????

So please please please, on behalf of all the Nader voters whose third-party votes did absolutely fuck-all to move a party that was trying to deal with Bush, don’t repeat our mistake.

If for no other reason than the fact that if Trump does win, there is absolutely no way you will get what you want. While if Harris wins, it will be much easier to push the Dems left - Biden has been pushed left on several issues!

* Fun fact from a psychology professor [me]: When people are scared they tend to agree with more conservative points of view than when they’re not scared! This is one reason things like terrorist attacks and wars tend to gain votes for conservatives.

[growth-opportunities]

You signed up for a yoga class, but didn’t realize it’s yoga specialized for busty women

Another one that got away from me! Took the prompt in a slightly different direction than you probably intended, but I don't think you'll mind too much. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment Lana opened the door to the classroom, she froze, an embarrassed warmth flaring on her cheeks and down the back of her neck. A cautionary voice rang out inside her mind: I don't belong here. I don't belong here. Her eyes scanned the room and, everywhere she looked, there were plush, soft curves. The two women chatting in one corner of the room stood feet apart from each other and yet the space between them was almost entirely filled with soft flesh. A woman near the front stretched her arms above her head and more tit spilled out of the collar and arms of her sports bra than Lana had on the entirety of her chest. Lana's girlfriend sported an impressive pair herself, but it wasn't until now that Lana's A cups made her feel small, staring at a room of women whose sports bra could fit her own head multiple times over. She shifted the rolled-up mat on her hip, nervously adjusting the strap of her slightly unnecessary, steel grey sports bra, and started to-

"Oh, you must be Lana! Caroline's girlfriend, right?"

Shit.

Lana's heart leapt into her throat as her exit was halted, cringing that someone had noticed her at all. She looked up to see someone bouncing towards her, instinctively assuming her to be the instructor. The lavender sports bra (which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be two sports bras) struggled to hold back the gigantic breasts that bounced towards her. Each one was big enough for Lana to use as a pillow, covering an impressive and intimidating portion of the instructor's torso. Lana wanted to run, but her legs wouldn't move. All she could do was watch, entranced, as the woman sloshed towards, her, the tight red ponytail swishing behind her head. Her smile seemed genuine, at least, as she extended a hand towards Lana. "I'm Veronica; I teach the class."

A polite response mumbled its way out of Lana, the 'new student' reaching out and taking Vernoica's hand. The moment she did, though, the world blurred around her before being blocked by a vast sea of softness. Lana's head, now buried in Veronica's cleavage, swam as soft flesh surrounded her, Veronica's athletic scent filling her lungs. She struggled but all that did was send ripples through the gargantuan bosom that held her captive. The hug ended as abruptly as it started, leaving Lana to catch her breath and attempt to straighten out her now-messy brown hair. A giggle shook Veronica's tits. "Sorry, I hope I didn't startle you. I'm a hugger, what can I say?"

Still reeling from the encounter with the largest tits that Lana had ever seen, she just nodded. "Y-yeah, uh, well, it's nice to meet you, but I should probably be going. I... I don't think this class is for me."

The instructor furrowed her brow, her head tilting to one side. "Leaving already? But you just got here! At least give one class a try! And you look super cute in that outfit, so you have to stay. Come on! It'll be fun!"

Veronica tried to take Lana's hand, but the smaller woman was faster, yanking it away. "No, really, I don't think I belong here. I'll tell Caroline Hi for you, but I think I should-"

Just as Lana tried to turn towards the door, Veronica's hand shot forward and slammed it shut, the loud sound drawing the attention of the half-dozen massively busty women scattered around the room. The feeling of smallness that plagued Lana since she entered the room compounded. Veronica's voice dropped down a few levels, gaining a husky, domineering quality that resonated deep into the core of Lana's body. "You're already signed up for the class, Lana. You should take it. What are you so worried about? Are you embarrassed because your girlfriend signed you up for the Big Titty Yoga class and didn't tell you?"

The retort that began to form in Lana's throat was immediately quashed as Veronica openly addressed the elephant (Or cow, rather) in the room. Lana's eyes filled with apprehension as she looked to Vernoica, her fear only growing at the way the instructor chuckled. "Oh, yes, your first instinct was right. It's not just coincidence that all the women in this class have massive chests." As Veronica talked, the other women gathered close, closing in on the small, slender woman, desperate to make herself even smaller under their gaze. Lana's heart skipped a beat as Veronica's hand grabbed her chin to keep her from looking away. "So, yeah, I suppose you don't qualify. Your little A cups are cute, but they don't really fit the class. Don't worry, though. We can fix that."

Lana opened her mouth to reply but her words were stifled as Caroline suddenly pulled up her sports bra and shoved a thumb-thick nipple between Lana's tits. The flow of milk was immediate and relentless, quickly bulging Lana's cheeks. Veronica pushed forward, trapping Lana against the door and making sure she couldn't pull away. "Relax, Lana. I promise you'll enjoy this. Just swallow." Every instinct she had was pulling Lana towards swallowing, but she fought as desperately as she could, right up until Veronica started pushing on Lana's throat, stroking downward, guiding her to swallow. Finally, getting short on air, Lana surrendered, milk rushing down her throat and into her tummy.

The women encircling the two of them grinned and tittered as Lana's eyes rolled back in her head. Her spine arched forward, pushing her chest out and drawing the sports bra tight over her breasts. And tighter. And tighter. And tighter. If Lana hadn't been guzzling milk like a starving calf, she'd have been able to notice the fact that her breasts had surged forward, pushing her sports bra to its limits. Tit spilled out underneath the strap, out from the collar, the fabric creaking as it did its damnedest to hold back the rising tide of breast. The sound of shredding elastic is what finally snapped Lana out of her trance, her hands moving up to her tits. Her tits. Her fingers sank into the doughy flesh, moaning around Veronica's nipple, feeling them spread her fingers wider by the moment. They grew softer, rounder, heavier, moving through cup sizes in the blink of an eye.

With a wet pop!, Veronica pulled her nipple (now slightly swollen) from Lana's mouth, leaving the newly busty woman gasping for air, ragged breaths clawing air into her lungs. She stared in awe at the massive breasts before her, still not able to fully accept that they were her own. Experimentally, she pinched and rolled one of the nipples, her thighs immediately slamming together as stimulation and pleasure wash through her body, a desperate moan trumpeting from her throat. Her legs weakened, Lana slid down the door, looking up wearily at Veronica, struggling to find her words.

"What... What did you do to me?!"

Veronica giggled, the same sweet laughter as before as if the last few minutes had been some sort of strange waking nightmare. "This is the Big Titty Yoga Class, so I gave you some Big Titties! Come on, let's get your mat set up. We're already running late. Don't worry. I know for a fact that Caroline is going to love them. She couldn't get enough of mine!"

[hayakawalove]

Swing, Swing Baby

Summary: You go to a party with your husband for Halloween, but it isn't just any type of party. It's a swinging party. He goes off to find a partner of his own, and that's when you meet Eren. He shows you just how fun swinging can be.

A/N: Another kinktober fic! ...Late. I know! But we only have one more after this. These are coming out late, but better late than never, right? Comments are appreciated! I'd love to know what you think!

CW: Smut, Swingers, Costumes, 69 (Sex Position), Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Alcohol, Dirty Talk, AFAB Reader, Gender Neutral Reader

W/C: 1,690

Credit to cafekitsune for the banner

It’s loud in here. Music bounces off the walls, filling the house with bass. Your husband is long gone by now, his comforting presence no longer by your side. It’s not like you’re anxious - you’ve just never been here before. This was the first time you and your husband decided to go to a party like this. 

Lights fill the living room as you walk on the sidelines, your eyes glued to the couples around you. It’s a mess of tongue and roaming hands, the sight causing your gut to warm. 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you here before.” A man says next to you. 

You jump in place before swiveling your head in his direction. A lump forms in your throat when you realize how attractive he is. He has long brown hair pulled into a bun, with bright green eyes popping out of his skeleton makeup. 

“Probably cause I haven’t been here before,” you tease, fully facing him.

He’s shameless in the way he lets his eyes drag across your figure, slowly at first until he reaches your face. Your skin is warm all over, but you feign confidence. 

“Touché. What’s your name?” 

You tell him your name and he tells you his, Eren, before he offers to get you a drink. You let him because you figure you’ll need something to ease your nerves. It’s hard to figure out why he’s talking to you, when presumably he could have anyone at this party. 

Eren comes back with two red solo cups, one for you and one for him. His magnetic green eyes watch you as you take a small sip of the drink before holding it close to you. 

“Any good?” He questions, taking a gulp of his before leaning against the wall beside you. 

He made two margaritas, the lime juice embedded in your bottom lip as you speak. 

“It is pretty good.” You say, looking around the room. “Where’s your partner?” 

Eren chuckles and follows your gaze. Maybe you weren’t supposed to ask that? It was hard not to, you were incredibly curious. Where was she? Was she in this room, watching you speak to him? Or was she already coupled off with someone else? You had to know. 

“She’s with another guy already. It never really takes her long to find someone.” 

“Oh, so you’ve been to this kind of party before?” 

Eren grins at you, and you try not to let the anxiety claw at your insides. 

“Yeah, a couple times. They’re always super fun, and the people are nice. But I will say, I’ve never met someone like you before.” 

Your cheeks burn at the comment, and you eye him as he scoots closer. His cologne fills the air around you, a mixture of sandalwood and nutmeg. 

“Yeah?” You straighten up, looking into his eyes. 

“Yeah, you look great in your costume.” He murmurs, dragging a finger across your skirt. 

You were dressed as a butterfly, at least that’s what you were going for anyway. It wasn’t overtly obvious with the skirt and tight shirt you wore, but the wings on your back certainly helped. 

You lean forward, pressing your chest against his as the tension between you grows. All of a sudden you forget that you’re even at a party; in your head it’s just the two of you. 

“Do you want to…should we…” you breathe out, your mind jumbling all the words that fall from your lips. 

Eren chuckles and pulls away, holding out a hand for you. “Do you want to find somewhere private?” 

You agree maybe too readily, causing him to grin. His touch is warm beneath you, his fingers intertwined with yours as he leads you down a long hall. 

It’s impossible to keep your hands to yourself for too long. He turns around and smashes lips against yours as he walks towards a vacant room. Anticipation starts to grow in your stomach. You were going to sleep with someone besides your husband. There was only one rule. You couldn’t go all the way with your partner. Your husband agreed to follow the rule as well. You whisper the rule to Eren between messy kisses and slick tongues, and he easily accepts. It shouldn’t be too hard to follow, even if you really want more from him.  

The two of you stumble into an empty bedroom, with wandering fingers scraping exposed skin. The light is already low and the bed looks a bit too inviting. Eren parts away from your lips, before laying on the plain bed, his body relaxed as he waits for you. 

“What-“ you begin, unsure what he’s getting at. 

“Want you on top of my face,” he sighs out, adjusting the pillow behind his head before beckoning you with two fingers. “Come on.” 

There’s lead in your throat and weights on your feet as you glide over to the bed. It doesn’t even creak as you ease yourself on top of his lean body. The two of you are still fully dressed, a fact you’re well aware of based on the rising of your body temperature. There’s no time to take your clothes off. No time for anything else but this. 

You position yourself on your hands and knees above him, with your face inches from his growing core, the bulge of it not lost on you. It's making your mouth water, the way you can see his cock twitch and jump beneath his black jeans. 

Eren’s making quick work of your underwear behind you, taking it off so fast the fabric nearly rips. He must be as excited for this as you are. Maybe even more excited than you. 

“Eren-“ you chide, not wanting your underwear to rip. 

He cuts you off immediately, his tongue diving into your pulsing heat. You let out a drawn out groan, your body jumping in surprise. Eren wraps his hands around your thighs, dragging you further down on his face. 

You claw at his legs, briefly forgetting this was supposed to be a mutual activity. Eren reminds you easily, swatting the side of your ass as he slides his tongue over your cunt. You let out a moan before fumbling with his pants. Your shaky hands pull down his zipper, before you ease his cock from the confines of his boxers. 

It fills your hand nicely, the weight of it pushes against the inside of your palm. He’s harder than you thought possible, and there’s already a steady stream of precum dripping from his slit. 

It looks too good to resist. 

You flick your tongue against his tip, reveling in the shaky breath he lets out behind you. The air is warm against your clit while he circles his tongue around. You have no time to focus on how good it feels. You open your mouth wider to take him in more, letting his cock slip past your lips and down your throat until it’s all you feel. He’s hitting the back of your throat in a way that you know will leave bruises, but somehow that makes it even better. 

“Just, just like that.” He speaks against your pussy, words ghosting over your tender flesh as he dives his tongue into your hole. 

You rock back against his face, letting his hands guide you back and forth as you use his tongue. Your head is bobbing now, while you drag your tongue on the underside of his cock. The noises the two of you are making are downright filthy. You would be inclined to believe the whole house could hear you, if it weren’t for the blaring music downstairs. 

Eren sticks his tongue out to circle your clit, his grip tightening as your moans increase. You briefly wonder if the concoction of his spit and your cum will smudge his Halloween makeup, but you don’t have much time to think before he wraps his lips around you. He’s sucking your swollen clit with everything he has, the pressure making your breath hitch. It's a miracle you aren’t passing out from oxygen loss between his skills and his cock. 

You swallow around him, your throat constricting around his cock before you speed up. The inside of your mouth is covered with his precum, the taste salty sweet as it flows down your esophagus. 

“Fuck yeah baby,” he moans against you. “Shiiiit,” Eren whimpers. 

Your high is approaching all too fast. If you had it your way, you wouldn’t be leaving this room for the next several hours. You think he must be getting close too, judging by the way his hips are rotating beneath you, as if he’s trying to reach as deep as he can into your throat. 

Eren sucks your clit one more time and that’s all you need to be pushed over the edge. You moan admittedly loudly around his cock, letting him slip even deeper than before. He buries his face against your pussy to swallow every drop of cum you so graciously give, before rutting his hips against your mouth. He cums not a moment later than you, the warm liquid seeping down your throat. There’s so much of it that it easily starts to drip from the corners of your lips, making a mess out of your chin. 

You swallow as much of it as you can before popping off, slipping your tongue out to clean your lips. When you slide off his face to sit next to him, you notice that he looks like a mess. As much of a mess as you probably look. His luscious locks are this way and that, ruining the perfect bun he wore before. There’s a lustsick expression on his face, and your cum covers his mouth and chin. You let out a giggle at the sight before he follows, his rich voice filling the small room. Eren reaches a thumb up to drag across his bottom lip, wiping away your cum. 

“Let me know if your husband ever changes his mind on your guy's rule,” He says, his tone joking but you know he most certainly isn’t. 

You can agree on that. 

[alltimefail]

I wrote a ridiculously long response that turned into basically a fic outline for this question from the Save The Dead Boys Twitter account, and I'm sharing it here so I can link the alt text for people who may want or need it (because Twitter's alt-text limits characters for some reason??? very annoying).

(Source)

Without further ado, The Dead Boy Detectives Zoo episode no one asked for is under the cut 😂

I think a day at the London Zoo would make an incredibly interesting backdrop for an episode!

Edwin has more than likely never been to the zoo, as the London Zoo itself did not open until 1928, years after he died. Charles and Crystal, however, have most certainly been to the London Zoo. Niko has been to a zoo before too, just not the one in London quite yet.

I imagine it happens like this: a ghost client who worked at the London Zoo and died due to being attacked by one of the animals comes in distraught. At first, no one understands the unfinished business or mystery of it; they just feel bad for the person because that's a horrifying way to die obviously, but they know HOW they died/where they died/when they died so it seems pretty cut and dry. That's when the ghost tells them that they'd worked there for years, specifically in the exhibit they died in, and the animals had never so much as bitten the workers in malice, nonetheless had bouts of uncontrollable rage. The only thing they remember before the attack is the animal spasming and acting in pain - that's why the worker intervened, to help - and then everything is muddy from there. The eyes of the animal, however, were the strange part... they had almost a sparkling sheen over them... and that's when the boys realize something is afoot.

They take the case and the client leaves, Charles goes pattering on about how it had been "Literally forever" since he went to a proper zoo, just waxing nostalgic and excited as he does, and the girls are bantering along with him because Niko says she's never been to London's zoo, and that's when Edwin pipes up, nonchalantly like, "Ah yes, I suppose I've never been either, now that you mention it." Charles is just... flabbergasted at this, he's like "MATE, you've never been to London Zoo?" and Edwin good-naturedly rolls his eyes and is like, "I have not been to any zoo, Charles, as the very concept was not even around when I was alive," and he'd probably say more but the look on Charles' face is kind of sad and sheepish because he should have known that, shouldn't of he? Edwin immediately goes to reassure him before Niko breaks the tension (observative as she is) and she's like, "OMG guys, this is perfect! We all get to experience it together, it'll be so perfect!" and Crystal is like, "Yeah, unlike you two who can just waltz right in, Niko and I will have to buy tickets. Might as well get our money's worth and stick around after."

The day starts all fun and nothing really seems amiss until another person is nearly attacked while they're there, and this time it's a child: like the animal is literally beating at the enclosure divider so hard they crack it trying to attack, and fortunately no one ends up hurt but Charles and Edwin do their little signature look at each other because they know SOMETHING is going on.

The case becomes time-sensitive then, and high stakes, so they regroup somewhere quiet where the girls won't get weird looks and that's when they're approached by a shapeshifter deity who has been skulking about the zoo for years (maybe they used to be a God or something before being reborn) and they give good intel, and it'd be funny because you KNOW Charles' hackles are up after Port Townsend and the whole Cat King and Monty debacle, and he's misinterpreting everything this animal shifter does as flirting to the point that eventually the deity calls Charles out for it in a "I don't want your man" kind of way. That's like the B-Plot going on and it would be hilarious, and even Edwin would find that part a little funny/gratifying because he's not dumb and he's SEEN Charles' change in behavior lmao.

Anyway this is now turning into an outline for a fic jfc the TLDR of the rest is that they realize some asshole kid came into possession of some dark magic materials and has been coming to the zoo and practicing the spells on the animals, just being a mischievous shit who thought animals would be easier to start with than humans and wanting to see what they would do. The gang has to fight the little shit, but they're eventually able to get the book away from him and Crystal, the godsend that she is, wipes his memory.

Afterward, they DO actually explore the zoo for fun, and Edwin is transfixed and telling everyone all the facts he knows about the animals. When he doesn't know anything off the top of his head, he reads the displays out loud and jots down the best bits. Charles is absolutely delighted and apologizes for not bringing Edwin sooner, but Edwin is having none of that and they have one of their sweet "Edwin and Charles" domestic moments. They're interrupted by Crystal clearing her throat and Niko giggling, one eyebrow raised because the girls KNOW, okay? But they don't say anything and Charles just steps back (when did they get so close??) and he wraps an arm around Edwin's shoulders and leads the way to the next exhibit. The girls share a lunch of various little junk foods one would only indulge in at a place like the zoo, and all of them leave with a little souvenir (Niko's idea) that they picked out for each other (it ends up working out that Niko picks Crystal's, Charles picks Niko's, Crystal picks Edwin's, and Edwin picks Charles').

From that day forward the group decides to take the time to do at least 1 "Fun" day a month that isn't inspired by casework!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Been thinking about your team ro time travel and team ro defect crossover and I just. I've been rereading keanblade's stuff recently so i have a very specific tobirama in my head and the idea that he'd take one look at this group of sad dissilusioned young adults/children and be like guess i'm a father of 5 now and rewrite his entire priorities around that. Like, you mentioned in the of team ro time travel you liked the idea of having half hatake tobirama in the mix and i'm an enjoyer the idea hatake tend to just adopt children wily nilly like oh look more pack, I think i will thank you very much. Just tobirama absconding with this entire group that has no incentive to return to their own time and being like i'm the dad now (yes some of them are barely younger than him, no that doesn't change that he's everyone's dad fuck off). He gets to teach kakashi all kinds of hatake things! Show him how to be a little wilder like the hatake of the warring states! If you subscribe to the theory he helped hashirama learn how the mokuton worked he could tenzo with his mokuton. The funniest option is that somehow all of this leads to peace without izuna dying and they werent even trying for that. Like, tobirama just straight up ditching everything to take care of a bunch of depressed teenagers and a kid, over half of which are uchiha, and being SO fiercely protective of his little pack of murder children and the uchiha seeing this and being like. Huh. I thought that guy hated us? He just. Is living in the woods with three uchiha and treating them like his specialest little guys. An uchiha patrol runs across them and tobirama is patting itachi on the head for a good job learning whatever insane jutsu he's currently teaching team ro because those are his kids and of course he'd teach them to be as strong and terrifying as he could. Makes them think. Bonus points if this also somehow leads to madatobi and/or when the village does get built tobirama always looking to team ro before agreeing to any plans cuz they know what didnt work the first time, having not only been affected by it in the worst ways but left because of it in their time. Does this make the village better? Who knows. But they're certainly trying.

Sorry for the long thing, this has just been plauging my thoughts. I dont even know if i explained my idea well it's just been banging around in my brain for too long and i needed it out

Based off [THIS] au about Team Ro defecting from Konoha after Kakashi, having been told the truth of his fathers sabotaged mission and the slander campaign against him by Orochimaru, interrupts Shisui's murder at Danzo's hand, leading to the entire team + Sasuke to flee Konoha-- and then accidentally time travel into the warring states era, years before Konoha was set to be founded.

(This is already long, so the reply is below the cut ->)

OK FIRST OFF IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS OOPS I HOPE I DIDNT KEEP U IN SUSPENSE

Woahh Keanblade mention !!! I love their stuff, they have some great fics and I love their brain. I haven't read their fics in a while actually, I should like go brush up on my keanblade lore / characterization at some point

IM YELLING THO IM SO ?? HONORED ?? TO HAVE SPARKED SMTHN IN UR BRAIN ACTUALLY, IM EATING THIS UP I LOVE IT THANK U SM FOR SENDING ME THIS I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING UR IDEAS !! AND YOU SENT ME SO MUCH TOO, SO MUCH FOOD TO DEVOUR ! Thank you for sending them to me I am giving you a little kiss right on ur brain

Tobirama really said "wow I can't believe I have to adopt these guys now"

Hashirama, probably: "Otouto you really dont have to--"

"I can't believe the world itself is making me adopt these sad, lost children."

"Children? Otouto, they aren't exactly--"

"I MUST take them in. I'm FORCED to, even."

"Tobi, no one is saying you--"

"I really have no choice in the matter. There are NO other options for them."

"Tobirama, please--"

The fact that Tobirama is like literally the same age as Kakashi and then they're just barely older than Shisui and Tenzo makes the whole thing so much funnier. It's probably for the best that he didn't try to dad them fr fr bc Im pretty sure the only one here without some form of daddy issues is like. Sasuke. Who is also 7.

(Which could be argued against tbh just depending on ur specific interpretation of Fugaku's dynamic w his kids on any given day)

So I imagine trying to actually parent various members of team ro comes with the risk of accidentally stepping on a landmine and potentially causing incredible violence and years of baggage to explode outward. I love my traumatized shinobi boys !!

Big brother Tobirama my beloved tho !!! Do u think he has complexes about being a big brother I think he has complexes and also that we should totally explore that, send tweet

Tobirama cave hermit arc !!! Madara had his turn, now it's his!

Team Ro really showed up, immediatley got thrust into an (unwilling, unwanted) custody battle, then got fucking SNATCHED by Tobirama before they could try and make a run for it, and just kinda,, decided to go with it? I guess? Fucking gold, actually. How the actual fuck did Tobirama convince them all to stay with him, the world will never know.

The man teleported the group of them into a forest alone, (instantly outnumbering himself) and went "this means I won the custody battle btw." and team Ro just went "I mean its better than being stuck with Uchiha Madara I guess." and went with it

Im not going to lie I fucking pictured Madara stumbling across the cave and team ro yapping at him like little chihuahuas and fucking lost my mind actually, needed to take a second to regain my sanity (in a good way)

Do u think Hashirama yells at Tobirama when he comes back home for publically kidnapping some mystery uchiha (plus others who were not very recognizable and thus do not matter as much) in front of the uchiha clan. Does Tobirama come back home? Does he just decide to become a cave hermit somewhere in the woods with his hashtag found family who may or may not fully want to be there? (they must, to some degree, want to be there-- if only because Tobirama Senju might be talented but he is also 18 at the time and nowhere near the height of his power. And Team Ro is many things, but unskilled is NOT one of them)

I forgot Tobirama knew ab the time travel for a sec and pictured him looking at Sasuke, this little clone of Izuna, and going "Hmm. You look exactly like my rival does and no doubt belong to the Uchiha main house."

"Does this mean you'll give us to the uch--"

"No."

(Finders keepers !!)

"Madara, the most uchiha uchiha in who knows how long before itachi and sasuke came along to give him a run for his money" is so fucking funny actually, I am internalizing that line and will probably suddenly think about it later at work and giggle to myself, I can already tell

If Izuna and Hashirama are both being little bitch boys in this I do need to advocate that they should totally get to kiss and be little bitch boys ✨ together ✨(the hashiizu agenda never dies) (let them begrudgingly get a drink together--though its Izuna who does most of the begrudging--get drunk while whining about their brothers, and then share a very ill advised kiss or two that Izuna will now deny ever happened till the day he dies)

I still think Tenzo should get to bond with Hashirama bc I love them getting to interact, but Im hearing your 'bad brother Hashirama' vibes for this spin off and nodding respectfully, so like. Maybe Hashirama can be sad about Tobirama monopolizing Tenzo, literally THE only other Mokuton user in the world's time, and be mad ab that too? I dont usually write explicitly bad brother Hashirama so I'm not too good at proposing how that could go tbh but I love the soap opera / dogblood drama vibes, it's so fun

I do think that some of team Ro could be useful at the peace talk / village planning meetings if they spoke up !!

Itachi may be young but is clan heir, and no doubt knows most of the modern day clan laws that Konoha would one day put in place, so he can suggest those knowing that it's what they'd eventually land on anyways.

Meanwhile Kakashi is the student of a Hokage, who watched over the shoulder of two different Hokage's, from ages 13 to present, so he absolutely knows a thing or ten about politics and running a village (at least from an outsiders perspective) Which. Actually technically makes him the most eligible / knowledgeable person like. In all of the peace talks when it comes to running a village which is fascinating. I'm jotting that one down to reference later in my original team ro time travel fic actually, there's a lot that can be done with that

ALSO !! If this is the 'team ro time travels to warring states era' au but like, with the team ro that defected from Konoha, they totally have Opinions(tm) about Konoha, which is so fun. I feel like Shisui has the sort of personality where he might actually be vocal about things when it comes to founding Konoha.

The way that the team stood whenthey left the village, Shisui and Itachi were both still majority village loyalists (though their loyalty had been deeply shaken)

Tenzo was high key "whatever my teamamtes say I will follow" but still has Konoha's roots buried deep into his heart.

Kakashi was the most complex-- the only one who it could truly be said was against the village, and for that I think he's interesting to play with and has motivation to get inolved in village making-- or the opposite; Want nothing to do with it.

IM YELLING ACTUALLY AT TEAM RO GENRE CHANGE THTS SO FUNNY

It was actually never time travel, it was straight up dimension travel. They fr went from a grimdark angst fic to a silly fluffy cracky fuckin, blessed eyes au where Tobirama is actually secretly a Good Boi(tm) and his indescribable riz and way with children make Madara forget about the whole mutual genocide thing

(Plot twist: Izuna and Hashirama arent actually bad brothers, they're just not aware of the genre they're in and reacting accordingly to their brothers doing a sudden 180 and ending the war with the ✨power of love ✨ and also adopting several teenagers (some of which are literally their age) who appeared out of nowhere, have no credentials, two of which are technically CONFIRMED BLOODLINE THEIVES (Kakashi willing and Tenzo unwilling, lab grown mokuton stolen from Hashirama's dna is STILL BLOODLINE THEFT, thanks Orochimaru) and are losing their GODDAMN MINDS over the turn of events)

Anyways this whole thing was a riot, I loved it and u are a master at silly fluff and comedy, I had a lot of fun reading what you sent me !!!

Ik u were aiming for silly fun so I hope my additions didnt take anything too seriously, I am in my shinobi politics 'writing everything as being played straight' era, so tried my best to stick with silly fluffy fun time comments instead of tripping and falling into the political implications of, like, a disillusioned with Konoha nukenin Kakashi, at the age where he was near his most depressed and apathetic, who is also technically the most qualified person in Fire to discuss making a village, being let in on village planning with implicit backing from both the Uchiha head and Senju heir. Or how itachi in the original (non nukenin) au was down to kill Madara, but the him in this au now has even more motivation to do it. N other fun implications like that

BUT LIKE I LOVE THE FLUFF I LOVE THE SILLY

politics free zone !!! we are not making eyecontact with the drama bc this is team Ro's vacation, actually

anyways THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL AND DETAILED ASK !!! UR BRAIN IS SO BIG FOR IT, I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING IT AND THINKING ABOUT IT AND IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO AND I JUST HOPE I REPLIED WELL ENOUGH SDKFJHDSFJKDSHFJSDk

umm and then they all lived happily ever after, the end

[t2316m]

I need to go to the gym, but I don’t wanna so here are some batfam workout hcs that were made purely to procrastinate

Dick is a calisthenics guy 100%, and he is pretentious about it to his family and other heroes (ie: doing handstands during team meetings or just hitting a pose somebody with a spine should never do just to rub his flexibilty in Bruce *cannot touch his toes* Wayne’s face)

However he also believes in having fun while exercising and so Dick pays extra at his gym to attend every single group workout class they offer from yoga to cycling circuit, to aqua zumba, he’s always the youngest and only male to ever attend any of the classes but he likes them and the old ladies there always offer the best gossip in Gotham

Nightwing also swears by cardio drumming techniques when beating ppl up with his escrima sticks

—

Jason is the opposite of Dick, he simply doesn’t work out

Or he claims he doesn’t

He claims that his muscles are just genetics, and that he’s always been more athletic and muscular and that’s how he survived in crime alley as a kid

Tim calls bull and says that it was probably some Lazarus pit magic which Damian disproves claiming that that’s not how the pit works and that Todd is just some sort of genetic anomaly

In reality Jason has muscles because he doesn’t own a car or a butler. His bike is used exclusively by red hood as any civilian with a bike that expensive is a walking target and he cannot be bothered.

This leads to his primary mode of transportation being his feet, he doesn’t trust Gotham public transit to get him to where he needs in a timely manner so he walks/runs everywhere occasionally scaling a rooftop or two as a shortcut, he’s been doing this since he was a kid pre Batman so he’s quite used to it.

His suit and guns are also significantly heavier then the other bat’s suits and weapons which also gives him the extra muscle despite “not working out”

—

Tim also doesn’t work out, but he genuinely doesn’t work out outside of being Red Robin, which is honestly a workout in itself

His strength and endurance typically comes from a mix of adrenaline, high pain tolerance, and stubbornness, that help him pull off inhumane feats

It is also a recipe for injury which Bruce has stressed multiple times but Tim believes that as long as he stretches he’ll be fine,

He is not fine and god knows his bones and joints snap, crackle, and pop all the time but his nighttime extracurriculars are enough to keep him toned and in shape

On rare occasions he will be spotted in a gym either productively with Steph and Duke or competitively with Damian

—

Damian’s “workouts”which he firmly refers to as training typically consists of sparring nonstop along with practicing martial arts

He spends hours demolishing training dummies and punching bags to get his blood flowing, but he’s not allowed to train outside of the cave as his exercises has cost Alfred far too much property damage. Alfred mourns the loss of his meticulously crafted shrubbery to this day.

Damian’s also really competitive cause he’s like 10 and he’s constantly challenging people, this however backfires when his siblings don’t go easy on him and it usually ends with him losing and sulking(a lot)

Damian’s favorite challenge, besides when one of his siblings pulls out a stopwatch and times him as he runs around to complete a random task is to do an endurance off on the stairmaster

It’s the one thing he consistently wins at regardless of his opponent. Bruce practically invented the grappling hook to prevent having to use stairs and that distain of stairs has been passed on to all of his children expect his biological one

It’s not even about the endurance, it’s more about the boredom of stair climbing, no amount of good vibes and hype songs is enough to get past more than an hour of repetitive stair climbing.

Damian however enjoys it, if he closes his eyes and zones out it brings him back to the days of the league where the architecture had hundreds of steps he was expected to climb multiple times a day and unlike most memories of the league it brings him nostalgia and peace.

Tim’s gotten the closest to beating Damian on the stairmaster with a completely different approach of pretending he’s climbing the staircase to heaven, no he doesn’t really believe in heaven or god but he sure as hell will not let his inability to climb stairs be the reason he can’t get in, he thinks of it as practice for when he dies, a contingency of sorts

[doomtrooper77]

How I Met the Monster

“Sorry, the club is closed to the public. This is a private party, " the huge man said in a deep, no-nonsense tone. Try Delmar’s down the street, " he said, pointing down the crowded street. I nodded but cursed inwardly. It's not that I cared about that particular club, but as soon as I saw that guy, I planned to find a seat near the door and stare at him for a few hours.  

Wandering up and down the street for a few minutes, I come back by and see him directing people away from the club.  He was huge. 6’5 easy. 375 pounds, maybe closer to 390.  All muscle and sinew;  inked up from head to what he could tell, probably toe.  Leather biker pants hugging his massive legs. Big hands encased in those combat gloves. He had a pair of scuffed-up engineer boots on his big feet.  Your mouth watered at the thought of all of that.  

Making my third pass by the club, I saw him staring down two drunk guys trying to get past him into the bar. You could see his face darken as he was telling them to move along. One of the two got too close and bumped him; one of his big hands came up, and the flat of it landed on the guy's chest, and he pushed him hard enough for him to fly back into the street. His other hand flashed out, grabbed the second guy, pulled him close, whispered something, and let him go.  He seemed to sober quickly, grabbed guy lying in the street, and they stumbled away.

My thoughts of heading home for the night were over. I saw a bistro table open at a restaurant across the street, just to the right of the club. It was the perfect viewing angle. It was not a club, but it would do. The hostess sat you down, and you ordered a beer and some food: dinner and a show. I ate dinner and watched his various interactions with people. Most were just him telling people the club was closed for a private party. Some of him let guests by into the party. Some were chatting with people he seemed to know. I was mesmerized by his size and movement. So damn big. He knew it, too. He knew he was a monster; he didn’t hide it, and the way he moved enhanced it.

I ordered dessert and another beer. As I watched him, I pretended to be looking at my phone, social media, or games. Three hours later, six beers later, the restaurant and the club were closing. Hell, it was 2 a.m. I paid for my tab and walked out of the restaurant. The front door to the club was closed, and the big guy was gone. Sighing, I started down the street to the right of the bar. The streetlights were dim. The closer I got to where I parked the car, the darker it got. Turning at the alleyway to the lot I parked in, I saw only a streetlight in the far corner, and it flicked dimly. Just enough to see the silhouette of the cars. Most of them were gone, but what I thought was mine, and a few others were still there. But there were moving shadows around a couple of the cars. Fuck, someone was breaking into them.

The six beers made me a bit braver than he should have been. I think they must just be some punk kids. I yelled, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” and started walking toward the shadows, which seemed to turn his way. The shadows seemed to grow, and they stood to their full height. These were big kids—or not kids at all. They started walking toward me, and the shadows seemed to get bigger as they walked closer. I start to back up and bump into something, someone. A hand lands on my shoulder and spins me around, and before I can do anything, I double over as someone punches me in the gut. Hard.  Hard enough to bend me over but not hard enough to me down. As I straightened up, other hands grabbed me and twisted my arms behind my back.

Two more blows landed in my ribs, and my leg weakened. “Well, what do we have here?” says the big shadow before me.  “I think we’ve had a bit of fun, fellas. Not much in these cars, maybe we can get something else out of this night.” I can see the gleam of his teeth as he smiles. The hands holding my arms tighten, and I feel a blow to my face. Then another to my head. Ribs. I can’t see where any of it is coming from. The only thing I can think of is that this will be bad. “Pull him up,” the shadow says again. I can hear the aggressive excitement in his voice. I brace for the next blow, and nothing comes. I hear a scuffle and the sounds of fists landing and grunts of pain.

The two guys are still holding me tight, but I can tell I am no longer their point of interest. The sounds of blows are coming out of the dark, then a yelp and the sound of a body hitting the side of a car 20 feet away. The alarm goes off, and the lights start flashing. We can see a body lying in the pool of flashing lights. “Paul!” one of the guys holding me yells. Then I feel him yanked away into the darkness.  The situation repeats itself; the sound of blows comes from the darkness with grunts and yelps of pain.

The last guy holding me turned to see what was snatching his buddies up. He pulls us deeper into the darkness. He is holding me in front of him like a shield. His breath came fast and shallow with fear.  I recovered enough to feel his grip loose; I yanked my right arm away and managed to spin around. I can only see a shadow of him, and I am my fist at what looks like his head. I connect with a glancing blow. I get ready to follow it up, but he hits me first and knocks me down.  I can see his shadow reaching for me, but it is snatched back into the darkness before it can.

Sounds of rapid blows and grunts of pain quickly follow. I hear someone fall on the edge of the pool of flashing lights from the alarm. Curled up and writhing. I can see a much bigger shadow on the edge of the light, and then a big, booted foot connects with the guy's ribs and kicks him into a car several feet away.  I can see the massive silhouette turn toward me.

I try to scramble up and slip and fall. I stumble up again, and now the massive shadow is on top of me. I swing before it can grab me, and I feel my fist stop. It just stops as another hand encloses it and holds it like it is embedded in concrete. I can’t pull it back or move it down; it is just held in place. Before I can see the face of the man holding my fist like he is holding that from a child, I can see his gray eyes. A gray is so deep and bright that it’s almost like polished steel. There is anger and power in those eyes.  All I can do is stare as a familiar face moves into the pool of flashing light. Familiar not because you know him but because you watched him all night. His mouth was moving, but I was staring.

Finally, the words came through. “Hey Buddy, are you okay? Are you alright?”  His deep, gruff voice said. Blinking and feeling my heart starting to calm down, I managed to say, “Uh, yeah.” He was still holding my fist. Those eyes looked at me as if making sure I was OK. He nodded and let go of my fist. “I was walking over to the diner for some food and saw these guys working you over”.  He said. “This isn’t the first time they’ve broken into cars of this lot or mugged people.” He continued. “Fuckin punks.”

“Thanks for helping. I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t come along.” I said. He shook his head and said “No problem.” Looking me up and down, he said, “Why don’t you come to the diner with me for a coffee or something? Something to battle those beers you were drinking across the street.”  He said. I was about to say no, but then I realized he had been watching me across the street watching him. Those gray eyes pinned me in place. His face was impassive, but those eyes.  “I could use a little company after dealing with these rich fuckers all night”.  His voice didn’t hold any judgment or menace. “Ummm, sure. “ I responded. He started walking back out of the lot through the gloom and said, “Wait a minute.” He walked back over to the guys in the pool of flashing light and went through their pockets. He took out their wallet and what looked like an ID for each one. Pocketing them, he walked back toward me and said, “I might need to pay them a visit.” This time, his voice made me shiver. You followed him into the darkness, and he asked, “So, other than those three pricks, you have a good time tonight?”

[thepenguinweeb]

Can you write about a jinchul?? Like reader is chairman's daughter or granddaughter... Likes him.. but he never played much attention to her... She tried to talk out with him... But he says something heartbreaking and she moves on.... Gets married and have her first child( you can make her spouse any s rank character). And he started to think what could have been life if he had been in her husband's place.

` ` That should be me. ` `

[ ☆ Jinchul x f!reader ]

[ ☆ As the chairman's daughter, you know all the people working for him pretty well. Your eyes were on a particular man, the Chief Inspector, but after he made it clear there wasn't gonna be anything between you, you move on. As time passes, he starts to wonder.. had he made a mistake? ]

[ ☆ Requested by: anon! ]

[ ☆ Notes: possibly ooc Jinchul ]

"Good morning, Jinchul!" Your cheerful voice rang trough the room as the man you liked so much entered. You couldn't help the big smile on your face as you looked at him. You couldn't imagine a man more handsome.

"Good morning," he replied. His tone was cordial and his voice emotionless, which saddened you a bit, but you knew he was like this with everyone.

Your gaze followed him without you noticing. "So.." you spoke up, trying to start a conversation. "I was wondering if after you're done with your work, you wanted to come to dinner with me?"

"I'm quite busy today," he replied simply.

"Oh.. what about tomorrow?"

"Busy."

"And the day after?

"...you really cannot take a hint."

Your eyes widened upon hearing those words. You knew he was never affectionate with you, or gave any hints that he liked you too, but you still hoped you had a chance..

"W.. What?" You questioned in confusion, unable to stop your lips from quivering slightly. "I just thought-"

"You shouldn't have thought anything."

Those blunt words seemed to make your heart stop. You froze in place, and your gaze darkened. "O... Oh..." was all you managed to mutter out.

"I apologize, but I don't want to do anything else with you outside of work."

Despite his tone being the same as usual, it somehow hit different. You turned your head so that he couldn't see the small tears welling up in your eyes and you nodded. "I... I understand.." you said, hoping your voice didn't crack.

Four years have passed since that incident. Rejection hurt, but you managed to move on with your life as usual. It was strange for everyone else that the more cheerful demeanor you always showed near Jinchul seemingly disappeared within the matter of a few days, but eventually everyone got accustomed to it.

And, meanwhile, you caught the eyes of a certain S-rank hunter, the fire user Choi Jong-In.

After a few years of dating, he proposed to you on a bright summer day, and you couldn't have been happier. You thought you just didn't have any luck with love after Jinchul's rejection, but he proved you wrong.

It was a day like any other. Jinchul was just finishing up when he saw his superior on the hallway, seeming even happier than usual and wearing what was probably the fanciest suit he'd ever seen.

"What's the occasion?" He asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at the Chairman.

"Oh, Jinchul! You haven't heard?" Gunhee questioned. "[Y/N] is getting married."

Married? Why hadn't he heard about that?

It shouldn't have ticked him off.. why would he hear about it? But for some reason, it irritated him.

"That's nice," he eventually replied. "I wish her a good wedding."

And oh boy, was it a good wedding. It couldn't have been any better. You had fun with all your friends, your father, and, of course, your new husband.

Just two years later you'd end up having your first child together, a baby boy.

Your life was wonderful. Perfect, even.

Then your father died.

Jinchul softly knocked on the door to your house. It'd been a while since he saw you, and this wasn't exactly the situation he wanted to meet you. Neat black suit, flowers in hand.. he'd only come to say his condolences.

The door opened to reveal you, and he frowned slightly at your state. Messy hair which you had no energy to brush, dark circles under your eyes, and clothes that were clearly pyjamas.

"Oh.. Jinchul.." you greeted him weakly. "I didn't expect to see you."

"I wanted to give you this.." he began, holding out the bouquet toward you. "I'm.. sorry about your father."

Despite him trying to maintain his composure, his own voice cracked slightly with grief.

You took the bouquet from him. "Thank you, but.. you really didn't need to."

"Please." he put his hand in yours gently, hoping it gave some sense of comfort. "I didn't want you to feel like you're alone."

"Oh, thank you, Jinchul, but.." for the first time, a small smile crept onto your face. "My husband makes sure I don't feel alone."

An unusual pang of jealousy hit him at your words. The fact he wasn't the one there to comfort you and make sure you were okay..

Then, he noticed the small figure making its way toward you from behind. Once it came into view, he realized it was a small child, having the red hair of his father, but those beautiful eyes certainly came from his mother.

The boy stared at him for a few moments with wide, curious eyes. "Mama.." he mumbled, clutching the fabric of your clothing. "Who's that.?"

The fact you never talked about him to your child was not surprising, yet for some reason it still made him a little disappointed.

The way you looked at your child, hiding the fact there was anything wrong so he wouldn't feel sad or worried..

"Oh, just an old friend, sweetie."

And his jealousy only worsened. He wished you didn't need to call him 'just an old friend'. He wanted you to call him your husband, the father of your kid.

But, of course, only he was to blame.

"Well, I'm gonna go now." He stepped back, taking one last look at you. "Bye, [Y/N]."

You nodded and said goodbye to him, going back inside and closing the door once he left.

And as he drifted farther from your home, he could only think of one thing which weighed heavy on his heart.

He'd made a mistake.

A/N: so much solo leveling content ahh x_x not like im complaining lol just a lil surprised! Not too proud of this one but i hope it's atleast enjoyable! Take this as my gift for halloween ig :D

[blooddrinkingbartender]

theotherrookie

"Yep, I can never escape the paperwork." Or her mother's scrutiny. This was going to be quite the tale to tell. She turned her attention back to Lucien, taking note of the great care the fae was using despite a bit of obvious awkwardness. "You'd be surprised. Lucien is stubborn, but he isn't wasting that second chance he got. Russell did more for him than probably either of them realizes." The question now was whether this incident would set Lucien back. He was very set in his ways and being shown that he wasn't so safe just minding his business in his shop had to have been as much of a shock as watching someone else try on him what he used to do. "Well, you settled things with me." she corrected, waving the ring around for emphasis. "Lucien might have different ideas about your eyes." She gave a nod once Leofric was done and sent the ring flying. Raw healing magic didn't require her to aim. "Rook, can you do something for Russell? He still isn't fully recovered." Lucien asked, gently pulling at her cape. "Well, I can give him an energy bar. Doctor Birb recommends a nap– Because I'm completely out of everything else."

"If there are three things that are certain in life, it's death, taxes, and paperwork," Antonio said, "Although I suppose taxes fall under paperwork in a sense."

Bill then nodded.

"I suppose I can get that," Bill said, "And to be honest, even if they did know, I doubt they'd acknowledge it. Lucien seems the sort of guy to keep his feelings on the down low, and Russell would probably say something like 'I was just being a decent' person."

"Good to know," Antonio replied, "Well, I don't care what he thinks I might owe him. He's not having my eyes for real. I have a feeling I'm going to need them."

For future use. He wasn't planning to attack innocent people. But now he had some better idea of what he was capable of, maybe, just maybe, he could actually use abilities for the better, or some more harmless fun for those who might need a lesson in manners.

"Don't worry, I'll, I'll be fine," Russell said, managing a small smile that he hoped would be reassuring.

"I'm guessing it's a lingering aftereffect," Antonio said, "Rest is the best solution, given that it isn't really an injury of the body. While the soul knits itself back together and becomes whole again, some fatigue will be expected."

Leofric then pulled out another bottle of his coat. It was able the size of a standard water bottle and had a glittering purple liquid inside. It was offered to Rook.

"Here, this should help replenish you as well, given the help you gave me," Leofric said then, "It took me a while to get it to taste like cookies and cream, but people find it's more palatable that way."

Russell rubbed at the back of his neck.

"So I uh, I guess I should probably go and, and do that," Russell said, "Unless I, I can help with, with anything else... it feels like I've, I've not really done much here, except look, look after Lucien's jacket."

"I suppose some have a redemption arc, and I suppose some go in the opposite direction," Antonio said, "On this occasion, you are the better person than me, I won't deny that."

He chuckled a little bit.

"Of course not," Antonio said, drumming a set of sharp claws on the top of his walking cane. When had they appeared? "You think I'm going to miss a rare chance to be something more than what I am now?"

Despite all of his efforts. It appeared that Lucien just couldn't be swayed. Antonio could see it in his face, especially his eyes.

"Heh, of course not," Antonio replied then, "Well, you've made your choice. Seeing as I can't have your mind..."

The green swirling mists disappeared from his eyes, and they instead turned a solid black, like that of a long abandoned tunnel. His teeth appeared sharper, and green energy formed around his hands. He then held one of that out towards Lucien, who might have started to feel a horrible stretching sensation inside of his chest.

"I'm going to have your soul."

[importantstudentbusinessspy-blog]

Reunion

Masterlist

Pairing: Dick Grayson x (f)reader

Tags: NSFW, future angst, f-boy, you cant fix him, smut, grad school, halloween, Dick is the reader's friend's ex's best friend, reunion, oral, penetration, praise, heartbreak, heartbroken reader,

The last time you'd been at a party like this was in freshman year. Now, in your twenties and in grad school, you were surprised to be at a Halloween house party - on Greek row, no less.

What was the harm? You were dressed in a Men in Black costume with your best friend, Jo, which made you look like a duo rather than a lone target for the inevitable creeps. Plus, you knew a bunch of people here, so it could actually turn out to be a fun night. In your black leather skirt and white button-up, you had chosen an outfit that was both fun and flattering. The fitted blazer - which you borrowed from your sister - accentuated your figure well. Your outfit had been recognized on the walk over by people calling out, "Men in Black!" From across the street.

As you stood with Jo on the front porch while people amoked around you and music blasted from inside, you were waiting for the host to reply with the text containing the entry code. Suddenly, Jo called out, "Dicky!" before being pulled into a hug by someone. You looked up just as “Dicky” turned toward you, and in a heartbeat, you found yourself pulled into an unexpectedly warm embrace. Lean muscles pressed against you through the thin fabric of a black button-up, undone just enough to reveal a glimpse of toned chest.

A low, teasing voice laughed in your ear, “Bet you don’t remember me.”

Your voice was small as you murmured, “No…” but then you caught sight of his face - and your heart skipped. Athletic build, sharp jawline, flawless blue eyes, and a smile that could probably melt glass. Oh, you remembered him.

“It’s Robert’s friend,” Jo grinned at you, helpfully filling in the details.

Right. Robert’s friend, Dicky. Dick Grayson. The eldest Wayne brother. That Dick Grayson.

In your periphery, you caught eyes of party goers following your exchange. A mix of intrigue and excitement shown in them. A few people nudged each other, whispering, but Dick didn't seem to notice. Holding himself with indifference, as if used to it.

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Three years ago.

You’d just finished celebrating a friend’s 20th birthday, and as the night wound down, the pub your friend group frequented started emptying as people were heading out for the night. Your group gathered their coats and stumbled into the crisp night air, chattering and laughing.

Your friend, along with her boyfriend, Robert, stopped you at the door. “Hey, girl, you got a ride?”

“I’ll catch the bus,” you reassured them, gesturing at the stop down the block.

“Don’t take the bus,” a new voice interjected. “I’ll drive you.”

“Oh-” You turned toward Dick as he flashed his keys. The sound of his Subaru unlocking accompanied his offer. “You don’t have to.”

“C’mon, you don’t live that far from me anyway.”

And that’s how you ended up in a car with him.

You’d asked, just to be sure, “You didn’t drink, right?” caught for a moment by the way his eyes turned to catch your gaze. You tried to keep your cool, but your blush gave you away. You blamed the booze.

A glint sparked in his eye. “What, you don’t trust me?”

Your fingers fidgeted nervously. “If you drank… then, no.”

He smirked, showing perfect teeth. “I can be dangerous when I’m sober, too.” With a mischievous look, he sped up just slightly, the engine roaring. “Do you trust me?”

Your breath hitched, but this time, not with fear - with excitement. You tried to tell yourself, 'Pull your dumbass head out', especially since he had a girlfriend. Or... a friend he was making out with. Who didnt leave with him...

Still, your body didn't listen, as the thrill of his speeding up made you grip the seat belt tighter.

“Maybe you shouldn’t…” you whispered.

“I think I should.” His grin widened, and the car sped up even more.

You couldn’t help laughing to yourself. There was something irresistibly reckless about him, and he obviously knew it worked in his favor. Something that made your pulse race. Your backward, illogical pulse.

You hadn’t noticed your thighs pressing together. But he had.

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You blinked, bringing yourself back to the party, back to the present. You smiled up at him. “Yeah, I remember you.”

“Good." He grinned, slipping his hands casually into his pockets. Those blue eyes, with their signature teasing glint, roamed over you as if he were taking mental notes and enjoying every reaction you made. "Men in black?"

"Y/n's idea!" Jo grinned at him. "Costume took us all of five minutes to put together... something like that, right?" He turned to you for confirmation.

"Yeah," you said absentmindedly.

"And what are you?" Jo turned back to Dick. A dark angel?"

You took in his outfit. Black button up, undone at the top, black feather wings on the back, and a black halo held by a headband around his head.

"Lucifer," Dick corrected.

"Ah, nice!" Jo gave a slow clap.

Dick smiled a cocky smile, and then his gaze shifted to yours. "It's good to see you."

There was a new air about him. He was taller, his frame still lean but solid with muscle. He looked every bit the man you once knew, now more rugged. Hed changed, but so had you. Back then, you’d been easily impressed by boys. Now, after a serious relationship resulting in awful hearbreak followed by a handful of flings, you knew the game better. Experience had a way of tempering those old thrills.

“Nice to see you too,” you said, trying to play it cool, though a flicker of heat crossed your cheeks.

“Waiting on your friend?” Dick asked, noticing you glancing at your phone.

“Yeah,” you muttered, a little annoyed. “My friend Penelope’s one of the hosts, but she’s not answering my texts.”

He didn’t hesitate, stepping away and speaking briefly to the guy at the door. A moment later, he came back. “Give him the cover, and you’re in.”

“Thanks.” You smiled up at him, grateful.

“Anytime.”

Before you could say more, a voice cooed from the side, “Oh, Lucifer…” A girl in a Hogwarts costume sauntered over, pressing herself against Dick's side with her hands running up his torso. “Come corrupt me.”

You offered a polite, close lipped smile as she gave you a once-over. Yep. This was the Dick you remembered. Never alone. Always surrounded by admirers.

“See you inside?” he asked, eyes already on her, a grin on his face.

“Yeah,” you nodded, hurrying past them.

Inside, the party was in full swing. The house was packed, music thumping, and you wove through the crowd, recognizing friends and catching up with the occasional shouting match over the blaring speakers. Finally, a hand grabbed your shoulder, and you turned to see Penelope in an American Psycho costume with the plastic raincoat covered in blood. “Girl, you made it!”

“Yep!” You hugged her, laughing. “Cool party! How’s it going?”

“Chaos,” she rolled her eyes. “People have been sneaking in without RSVPs, and we’ve been chasing them out all night-"

Suddenly a ring came from her phone and she brought it up to read the screen, then offered you an apologetic look. "Someone just broke the fridge door, I gotta go-"

You waved off her apology, pulling her toward the dance floor. “Let someone else deal with it. Lets enjoy your party, bitch!”

She gave up fighting and pocketed her phone, then began to dance to the music. The two of you fell into the rhythm of the crowd, and as the drinks started kicking in, you let yourself melt into the music, eyes closed, the bass pulsing through you.

A low voice murmured behind you. “Didn’t know you could move like that.”

You turned to see Dick, grinning as he joined you on the floor. “I used to do ballet.”

His brows rose. “How did I never know that?”

You shrugged. “Guess it never came up.”

His hands settled lightly on your waist, pulling you toward him. “Well, I have to say,” a mischievous smirk played on his lips as he leaned in close, his voice soft and warm in your ear. “It did wonders. You’re damn sexy when you dance.”

You felt your cheeks heat. “Where's your girlfriend?”

Dick laughed to himself. There was a thrill in making you flustered, a satisfaction that came from knowing he could draw out that blush. He shook his head, amused. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“What about Miss Gryffindor?” You raised an eyebrow.

He laughed, nodding in realization you meant the girl from earlier. “Ah, yeah. I just met her here. Don’t even know her name.”

“Oh?” You felt the tension ease only slightly, though a quick look around made you oddly self-conscious. The music, the people packed around, the way he was looking at you-all of it made it feel like you two were too close.

Dick caught sight of a phone camera aiming his way, likely hoping for a candid. He turned slightly, hiding your face without you noticing and giving them a polite but distant nod. He was used to this game.

There were too many people here, he dicided. He leaned close to your ear. “Wanna go somewhere a little quieter?”

Your brow quirked, your rational side already on alert. Of course. Dick Grayson might look like a dream, but he was still a guy. “And do what?”

He smiled, something mischievous glinting in his eyes. “And have some fun." He grinned, undeterred by your unimpressed expression.

Part of you longed to lean into the proposition. But another part screamed at to be cautious, to remember that opening your heart again could lead to more pain. You had decided a while ago that, at least for now, you weren't ready to commit your time and energy into a relationship. "Look, I appreciate the offer. But I'm not really looking to get tied up in something -"

"I'm not offering to get you tied up in something." He smirked. "I'm offering we fuck. Just one night. Between two grown ups who know what they want."

You blinked, and suddenly, the proposal became appealing. One night? No strings attached and, more importantly, no heartbreak? And as far as guys at this party went, you could do a lot worse than Dick Grayson.

"No strings attached?" You looked up at him

"You have my word." He make a show of putting his hand on his heart.

Fuck it, You thought. Let him show you what everyone was gushing about. Timidly, you nodded up at him. "I'll just tell my friends know where I'm going."

"Let them wonder." He waves off, careless. Truth be told, you realize you don't really know how to deal with your friends' reactions to you leaving the party with a him. Instead, you pull your phone out and send your group chat a quick text.

Ditching. Going home with someone )) see y'all tomorrow.

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"You still drive the same Subaru?" You said, making yourself comfortable on his leather seat. He even had the same seashell decoration on his rearview mirror. Your hand rose to touch it.

"You remember Morticia?" Dick asked from behind the wheel, turning the engine on.

You couldn't help the snort that ripped out of your mouth. "Right, Morticia. I forgot."

"Yeah, how could I trade off my baby? She's seen me through thick and thin." His fingers tapped at the wheel as he pulled up out of the party.

You nodded, rolling your eyes at how predictable men were. Boys and their toys, or however the saying went. "So, what are you up to? School? Work?"

"Police academy." He flashed you a signature charming smile.

You blinked, and your brows rose in surprise. "Oh wow, just like you wanted."

"I had a plan." His gaze was on the road ahead. His voice took on a serious tone.

"Thats great, Di-" you began to say.

"What about you? How's law school going?"

It was your turn to face the road. "It's... okay."

He hummed. "Doesn't sound like it,"

You huffed. "I dint know. I guess I idealized it too much. Turns out studying the law has a lot to do with getting away with crime rather than preventing it."

He didn't respond at first and you turned to see him grasp at the wheel, knuckles white. "Yeah... Tell me about it."

You swallowed, wondering what his reaction was about. "Is it like that at the academy, too?"

"There's corruption everywhere in this city." He said with a tone of disappointment. "And anyone can be bought."

You were surprised at this new side of him which you've never seen before.

You cleared your throat, then, in an attempt to lift the mood, said. "Well, here's to hoping idealistic dreamers manage to stay on the good guy's side. Hmm?"

He grinned at tyat, blue eyes still studying the road. "I like the sound of that."

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Dick still lived in the same apartment building you once visited two years ago. He pulled into the familiar parking lot and shifted into the park. As you walked into the unit of his medium-sized livingroom, taking in the humble decor, comfortable furniture, matte colored wallpaper. What stood out the most was the sheer mess of books tossed and scattered around the place. You remembered Dick to be pretty messy. You didn't remember him being so studious.

You walked over to his coffee table and picked up an open book, flipping it to read the cover.

Forensic Pathology Throughout the 21st Century by-

You nearly dropped the book when you felt his lips on the back of your neck. Dick's frame was so much bigger compared to yours, his arms easily framed you from the back as you felt his body heat on your back. You sighed softly as his lips trailed down your neck, his hand coming up to brush your hair aside.

"Wanna know something?" He whispered in your ear, the warmth of his cooler scented breath tickling your sensitive skin.

"Yeah," your voice was just above a whisper.

"I had a bit of a crush on you when we first met." His voice lowered with the confession.

You smiled a melancholy smile to yourself. You had trouble believing that. In your experience, guys always said what they knew would get them into bed. "Really?"

He turned you to face him. His eyes studying you with amusement. "You don't believe me."

You grimaced at being caught. "You realize that I'm already at your place, right? You don't need to say anything to get in my pants."

He made a show of looking down at your outfit. "You're not wearing pant-"

"Dick," You smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

He caught your wrist and lowered his face to meet your eye to eye. "We were at Richmond's pub. You, me, Robert, Laura, and I think... yeah, a couple more people. Your friend came over to visit you from another state, and you invited her to join."

Your eyes switched between his as he spoke, remembering exactly that night you talked about.

"And we all had a bit to drink. And everyone was talking so fucking much. And laughing. And shouting. There wasn't a moments peace that night. Except," he said, cupping your chin. "Except for your corner of the table."

You raised a brow, prompting him to continue.

"You just sat there." He went on. "Quietly, and observed. But every time someone said something , you gazed at them as if it was the most interesting thing on earth. There was wonder in your eyes that I just..."

"You just...?"

He shrugged, then lowered his lips and met yours in a heated kiss. You sighed into the kiss, and he deepened it, his tongue swiping past yours. You stood this close for a long time. When you pulled apart, Dick looked like he physically yearned for more. "I just wanted to kiss you so. Damned. Bad."

Your breath sped up by that time, catching up on the breath you'd lost to the kiss, your mouth dropped slightly in astonishment. "You still remember that?"

He nodded, pulling you back into the kiss. As you leaned into him, he unbuttoned your blazer, followed by your blouse, then loosened your tie, trailing kisses down your collar and breasts until he reached the hem of your skirt, asking. "Take a step back for me,"

"Okay," you nodded, obeying until your back hit the wall of his living room.

The scenario was so random. You never thought you'd end up liek this tonight. Backed up against the wall of Dick Grayson's apartment, clothes disheveled, strands of hair falling on your face as the eldest son of gothams, the wealthiest dynasty kneeling at your feet. You'd be amazed, but in truth, you were still processing what he told you earlier. He remembered a very specific moment. That even you didn't think of as significant. And yet... it had meant something to him. You suddenly felt your heart warm.

You risked a glance down, seeing him lift up your skirt, pulling down your panties.

His blue eyes focused on yours as his tongue slipped past his lips, and he leaned closer, swiping it through your folds. Unable to handle the intensity of the view, you bit your lip, wanting to shift your gaze away, but... you couldn't. It was like his gaze physically locked yours in. His lips wrapped around your core, tongue quickly finding your clit with enthusiastic licks.

"Oh," your hand shot to cover your mouth as your head rolled back against the wall. Shaking fingers combed the black locks of his hair as you moaned his name, begging for more.

His hands wrapped around the back of your thighs, and he pulled them further apart, opening you up for better access. His tongue dipped into you, licking that sensitive nerve inside, making your back arch against the wall.

"Please," you keened as your core began to spread a warm, exciting sensation, making your body shake against him. "Please, please, please,"

Your knees buckled, nearly giving out. He stood up, catching you around your waist, pressing your foreheads together. "Hey," he gasped, grinning at you.

"H-hi" you panted against him.

"Not quitting on me, are you?" He winked at you.

You laughed. "No."

"Brilliant," he smiled, pulling you into a kiss that was eagerly returned.

You don't remember exactly how, but you were picked up one moment and then lowered onto his bed the next. This was a part of his room you were seeing for the first time, but you barely gave a fuck to look around as you were too busy getting up off the bed, surprising a stripping Dick.

He eyed you questioningly until you brought your hands up to where he was in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt and replacing his. Carefully you discarded his shirt, kissing your way down his impressively chiseled chest and torso. You were surprised to see a mapping of scars and marks along his skin, but refrained from asking. The less you two knew about each other, the better. You kissed your way down, reveling in the sounds he released as you did, and the way his hand came up to cradle your head.

At last, you reached the top of his jeans, sitting comfortably on his narrow waist. You undid his belt and lowered the layer of pants and underwear until his hardness was in front of you. You tried to hold back your wide-eyed reaction, but holy... Dick's Dick was big. We'll, it was bigger than any you've ever seen. All three.

"Like what you see?" He asked above you with a knowing smile.

You realized you were staring, then you looked up at him and nodded eagerly before taking him in your mouth. You watched his brow furrow in pleasure as he gasped, hand still cradling your head. He drawled, "Oh baby, yes. Just like that. Good girl."

You moaned around him at the praise, eager for more. Licking and sucking, you thought to yourself, this was the most eager you've ever been to give someone a blow job, not sure why - I guess the right ones just have that effect.

"Baby," He moaned. "If you want me to fuck you, you should stop."

Reluctantly you pulled away, watching his face, studying his expressions. You got up slowly on wobbly legs and fell back onto the soft, cushion of the bed, backing up to give him room.

Dick tisksed, shaking his head. You wondered what that was about, but then he grabbed you by your ankle and pulled you towards himself. It barely took any effort for him to do that. Your breath hitched, more so when you two were now met torso to torso as he leaned over you, lining himself up. He grabbed one of the pillows on his bed head, lifted you by the small of your back, and placed the pillow under it. Then, he rolled on the condom. You were surprised, usually having to do both those actions yourself.

When he thrust into you, the two of you gasped in unison. His pupils were wide as he gazed down at you before drawing you against him. You clung onto him as he trusted into you again and again. "Ah, ah, Dick-"

"So tight." He bit his lip. "God, baby. You're so perfect."

"Dick, I'm - oh," you stuttered. "Please, more, please,"

He sped up his rhythm, brushing your sensitive spot with each thrust, moaning as he did. "So, fucking tight. Feels so good, baby."

"Yeah," you gazed up at him with those glassy eyes, and Dick felt like he won. He hadn't lied when he said he wanted to kiss you. We'll. He did lie. In truth, he wanted to do so much more. But having you beneath him, moaning his name, and gazing up at him like he was all that mattered made something spark within him. Something powerful. Possessive. He wanted every guy who you've ever been with to see you this way. His. For all intents and purposes, in this perfect moment, you were his.

Dick pressed his hand to your lower belly, feeling himself slide in and out of you. The action resulted in a sweet pressure inside you, building up and making you write under him.

God, did he know what he was doing. It was refreshing. Truly.

Your nails scratched down his back to grasp as his hips needing him closer, as close as possible. Your orgasm hit like a wave, making you cry out as your whole body shuddered.

Your shaking hands cradled his face. He shuddered and leaned into your touch, making each eager thrust count.

"Come for me," you wispered, eyes pleading. "I wanna see you come."

Oh god, yes. He grunted, pressing against you. He would do anything, everything. All you had to do was ask in that breathy, cute voice. Please.

As if obeying an order, his orgasm shot through his entire body. Your arms snaked around him, pulling him down to you for a kiss, and he lowered himself to indulge you.

You were so sweet, so vulnerable in his arms. So different from the composed, confident girl he'd remembered. He held you as close as he possibly could, nearly crushing you. But you didn't mind. Welcoming his warm embrace.

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You had class early the next day, a weekend course that was unfortunately mandatory. So you dressed quickly, hoping not to wake him. Thoggh, you realized you failed when you heard stirring from the bed just as you picked up your discarded shoes. You turned to see him blinking away sleep. He looked cute with his hair still messy, bare torso and arms covered by a messily draped bed sheet.

And you enjoyed waking up in his embrace too. His arm resting as a pillow under your head as you slept on your side, as his other arm was draped around your waist.

"Going somewhere?" His voice was a low rasp, rough with sleep.

You managed a small, apologetic smile. "I’ve got a nine a.m. lecture every Saturday."

Dick’s gaze narrowed slightly, the hint of a frown on his lips. "It’s six."

"I know," you murmured, glancing down at your clothes—a crumpled, half-worn version of last night’s outfit. "But I’ve got to go home first. I can’t exactly show up like this."

He pushed himself up, revealing the full view of him in the early light, looking both effortless and undeniably inviting. "I’ll drive you."

"You don’t have to," you said, shaking your head quickly. "I already called an Uber-"

"Cancel it."

"It’s...already here," you replied, lifting your phone. "ETA one minute."

A flicker of something - was that disappointment? - crossed his blue eyes, but he only shrugged. "Alright."

The silence that followed felt heavy, pressing against you as you avoided his gaze. "Thank you for yesterday," you said finally, your voice quieter. "It was... fun."

His lips twisted into a teasing smirk. "You know, you could’ve woken me up for another round."

You let out a soft, half-sarcastic laugh. "You looked peaceful. I didn’t want to ruin that."

He snorted, leaning back, the look in his eyes lingering as he watched you slip on your shoes.

"See you around," you murmured, already halfway out of the bedroom, the words feeling less like a promise and more like a polite exit.

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Twice in one week. You hesitated the moment you stepped into the bar with your classmates, their laughter and voices fading as they moved toward a round table further in.

You knew better than this. You were an adult, and when you’d agreed to that night with him, you both understood it was just that - one night. But try as you might, logic hadn’t stopped your body from betraying you. Your breath hitched, and an ache tightened in your chest as your gaze fell on a too-familiar face.

There he was, leaning casually against the wall, lips pressed to someone else’s in a way that was both effortless and intimate. His hands traced her back with the same warmth you’d felt only nights ago.

And suddenly, that story he told you about the pub became just that, a story. Just like any other man had told you to get in your pants. A means to an end. You mentally admonished yourself, disbelief at falling for yet another one.

You swallowed hard, feeling the sting of something you couldn't quite name. You’d told yourself it didn’t mean anything. But here, watching him so easily entwined with someone else, you couldn't help but feel discarded. Hurt.

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[xblubotx]

Will you make more parts for that, Peri Losing his Memory comic you did a while back or have you moved on?

Probably not. As fun as it was, I was still figuring out Peri’s character. The whole episode idea was built on something people already know (that being Peri had a brother) and made it too dramatic, and treated it like a big revelation than it really was. Also it was heavily based on that one episode from the Owl House and Stan’s Mind.

Nowadays, I’d rather just it be a regular fun episode. Dev and Hazel having to repair Peri’s mind before it’s too late. That way they’d get to explore memories and without it having to build up to a not so shocking revelation. Plus it means Dev becoming closer to Peri seeing all he did for him.

In fact that’s probably where the real drama should have been. Dev’s wish being what caused it to happen due to his guilt, and learning an important lesson to live and learn from his mistakes than dwelling on them. Dev deserves to be happy.

[toomuchracket]

I think I read it somewhere... I can't remember where, maybe I didn't and I'm just imagining but...

What do you think about Matty (any au but most probably flatmate) like keeping some clothes from 2013/2014/2015, trying them on now a days and being emotional about how the pants don't fit anymore for example? or how some shirt still smells like certain moments

Just an idea ofc, you can ignore me it or change it you want

i think this happens when you're pregnant with phoebe, your little surprise baby - yeah, you have a room that you can do up as her bedroom, but it's currently used as an extra wardrobe/storage facility for everything you and matty brought with you from your parents' houses when you left the flat (which, coincidentally, is where a lot of the stuff in the spare room will be going). an entire weekend is cleared to get the room emptied and painted, and you and matty and your older daughters have a lot of fun going through the boxes and deciding what can be kept and what can go - matty's more of a hindrance than the literal three year old in the room, though, stopping every half a second to be like "oh, i like this! i forgot i had it! maybe i should keep it", and it exasperates you to no end lmfao. tbf, a lot of cool old clothes you're keeping for the girls when they get a bit older (elena wailed when you went to throw out the red dress you wore at your uni grad ball back in manc and made you keep it for her, despite the fact she is literally three, and matty wailed because "you looked so beautiful that night and i wish i could've gone with you but i was too stupid to tell you i loved you" lol), but there are some that have just GOT to go to the charity shop. matty's particularly distressed about parting with an old pair of black jeans he genuinely last wore in the year of our lord 2016; he attempts to try them on because "it's fine. they'll be fine. i'll wear them again", and then has the audacity to be bemused when they don't go past his thighs and upset when you say "well, yeah, baby, it's been a decade. both our bodies have changed lol", so you have to cuddle him and quietly reassure him like "and that's alright. you think i'm the hottest i've ever been, and i think that about you too. seriously. hot dad healy is my favourite. and let's be honest - the skinny jeans were a nightmare for us to take off, anyway". he agrees with that, and laughs, and nods like "you're right. and i also think that i'm the hottest i've ever been", cackling when you're like "well let's not take it to narcissist levels, babe"; still, he keeps his shirt off when he's painting the room the next day "just so you have a nice view, babe", which to be honest you're not annoyed about in the slightest lmao. he's very silly. but you love him <3

[yallemagne]

Yeah like what is this? Dog, you callously made fun of Morph when they had a vision of their violent death and now you're like "don't worry Cyke we'll both get our partners back." With RED EYES.

They also cut down the scene where Wolverine finds Morph in the jungle, so that it still comes across as nothing personal.

And yeah, the moment where Gyrich remarks on the corpse is weird. I cropped it out bc I wasn't talking about that.

My guesses are: maybe this comic being made when it was still uncertain Morph would come back? Or they simply weren't scrupulous in the making of this comic. Which. Duh. I'm not even covering the non-Morph parts because hooo boy I am ONLY HERE for Morph.

Then of course, Morph's flashbacks.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER. GET A JOB.

My first thought was: are they trying to censor Morph's death? But it makes more sense that Sinister would promote the idea that Morph was alive and their friends abandoned them rather than Morph dying and the X-Men having no way to save them and no choice but to run. It makes sense that Morph probably wouldn't remember the interaction with Beast, and Sinister wouldn't know/wouldn't tell.

But still! With that interaction it really poses BEAST as the one who should be going and getting Morph. At least have a moment where they call back to it, yeah? Maybe Beast could have told Morph he held them as they died, and that would be another crack in the mind control. Oh well.

Honestly! With Beast holding Morph in their final moments, Gyrich explicitly mentioning dealing with Morph's corpse, and Sinister somehow getting his hands on Morph anyway, I think it would have been interesting if, instead of finding Morph himself, Sinister approached Gyrich with a deal of some kind and obtained Morph that way! That would be sick! And since Sinister is an unreliable narrator, I can just choose to believe that over the comic just not making sense... but I wish they had thought of that and put it in themselves.

So, the X-Men Adventures comic... deletes Morph and Wolverine's friendship. And they replace it with a Morph and Beast friendship?

And hey, I think it's kinda sweet to establish a connection between these two especially since they were both taken out in this fight. But then they don't do much with it after, so I feel completely cheated.

AND THEY HAVE WOLVERINE JUST BE BLATANTLY RUDE

It's interesting that Morph has precognitive powers here and it's just shrugged off like "oh well Morph just had a dire vision of the future I'm sure it's nothing". BUT HEY WOLVIE WHY ARE YOU BEING A PRICK??? Calling Morph "Mr. Brain-dead" what the actual hell.

It hurts even more because when they see the Sentinels, Morph's first instinct is to draw the fire so the others can run away.

And here's the thing, as much as I love to see Morph interacting more with characters other than Wolverine, without establishing these two's friendship, Wolverine insisting on getting Morph back feels like it comes out of nowhere. Though, later on, they kinda ret-con in some justification.

They added a single line of dialogue where Wolverine cares.

But then they get rid of THE Morpherine line about Morph being the only one who can make Wolverine laugh!! Just replace it with "we gotta take care of our own" >:/

ANd HEY WHAT THE HECK. Hank, why the hell are you calling Morph a "manchild"?? I thought you were Morph's buddy in this!

I appreciate the things they added (not the unnecessary jabs at Morph, of course), but I hate that we traded Wolverine and Morph's developed relationship for an underdeveloped relationship with Beast.

[victorluvsalice]

The "Valicer In The Dark Meets Baldur's Gate III" Not-Incorrect Quotes/Shitpost Collection

(Don't worry too much about spoilers -- most of this is early-game stuff, with just a couple of things relating to stuff in Act II)

--

Alice: [having just met Lae'zel on the Nautiloid and been informed of the situation with the parasites] And who are you, exactly?

Lae'zel: Who am I? Your only chance of survival.

[later, after the imps have been fought, and everyone's met back up and freed Shadowheart:]

Victor: [introducing himself as they get back on the move] I'm Victor.

Alice: I'm Alice. [pointing to Lae'zel] And this is Only.

Lae'zel: ?

Alice: Well, you've given me nothing else to call you.

--

Shadowheart: [after being informed the trio live in a world without a sun and that's why they're being so weird about the sky being blue] I -- are you Shar's Chosen? Is this some sort of test? Am I not supposed to believe you when you say you like sunlight? I can totally not believe you if that's the case!

Alice: ...I feel like we've missed something.

Smiler: [lying down and sunbathing] Yeah, it's in the sky above us.

--

Withers: What is the worth of a single mortal's life?

Victor: I -- I would say priceless. You can't put a value on life itself.

Alice: I say it's worth whatever you're willing to pay to defend it. Only the owner of said life can set the value.

Smiler: I'm pretty sure the standard rate of assassins in Duskwall is four Coin minimum -- not sure how that translates to your money.

Victor & Alice: [look at Smiler]

Smiler: What? It's a legitimate answer!

--

Withers: I shall be here, in thy camp, for whenever thou has need of my services.

Alice: Oh? What kind of services do you offer?

Withers: A mending of the threads between life and death. Should thou or any of thy compatriots perish, I will cleave soul to body once more.

Victor: Cleave soul to -- wait a minute, isn't that how you get vampires?

Astarion: [rearranging his tent, pauses and gives them a really weird look]

--

Alice: [during one of the meetings with Raphael] You do seem like a very powerful devil.

Raphael: [preening] I consider myself no slouch, yes.

Smiler: [cheerfully] I bet your blood could power an entire city block for a month!

Raphael: [blink blink] ...thank...you?

--

Strange Ox: Ah, you're addressing me. A humble ox. How...quaint.

Smiler: [tilting their head] What are you?

Strange Ox: As I said, a humble ox. I don't know why you're --

Smiler: No, I mean, what's an ox?

Strange Ox: ...

--

Smiler: [standing behind a table lined with eight samples of the same Potion Of Glorious Vaulting, with Victor, Alice, and the companions all gathered around the front of it] Thank you all for coming to this blind taste test, where we will be disproving the idiotic notion that you only need one specific ingredient per potion to create something that does what you want it to. In front of you are eight individual Potions of Glorious Vaulting, each made with a different type of Ashes -- I would like you each to drink one, test the effects, then rate it based on how strong the effects were, how long they lasted, and how tasty it was.

Wyll: You care about the taste?

Smiler: Of course! If we're going to be making potions, the least we could do is make them pleasant to consume! We're working toward maximum happiness here! Now everybody pick one and let's get jumping!

--

Gale: [realizing the trio isn't with them as they move through the mind flayer colony under Moonrise] Hold -- where's Victor, Alice, and Smiler?

Karlach: I think I saw them looking at a cage in the last room.

Lae'zel: Chk -- they should know by now that we cannot pause and look at every little thing that --

Smiler: [rejoining the group carrying a certain intellect devourer, beaming, as Victor and Alice come up behind them] Hey everyone!

Lae'zel: [stares at the brain] ...

Astarion: Why are you carrying an intellect --

Lae'zel: THAT. THING. SURVIVED?!

Us: Hello Angry Friend!

Lae'zel: I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND

--

Aylin: [after everyone's agreed to meet up with her and Isobel again later at the camp] Now -- you will leave us. We must take succour in one another's bodies and words.

Isobel: Aylin. We'll see you later.

Victor: [hiding a smile] Of course.

Alice: [biting back a chuckle] Later.

Smiler: [big beaming grin and a double thumbs up] Enjoy the hot lesbian sex!

Victor: Smiler!

Aylin: I intend to.

Isobel: AYLIN.