#had our meeting at 3. I had stayed up until 6:30am writing. he had not read it. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jaethaone · 4 years ago

Text

Time

Paring : Massimo x Reader

Word Count : 3,999

Prompts : 5 + 8 “There Is No Us, There Never Was” & “Shut Up” (Prompts In Bold)

Warnings : Other Than My Terrible Writing, Swearing , Attempt At Angst, Mentions of Cheating, Massimo Being A Dick

A/n : This Is A Request From @shusrealm , I’m Still Trying To Learn And Tap Into Massimos Character Which Is Why It Has Taken Me A Minute To Start Posting But I Hope You Like It . 💜

A/n 2: Translations Are From Google So Sorry For Anything That Is Incorrect And Little Flashbacks Are In Bold

Lyrics In The Story Are From The Song Time : From The Show Star

It’s Been Five Months

Since We’ve Had A Talk About Us

And We Went Our Separate Ways

“Yn You Don’t Honestly Believe Sulking Over This Guy Is Going To Change Anything Do You” London, Your Bestfriend Said Sitting At The Edge Of Your Bed

“No, But I Don’t Want To Do Anything Else So”

“It’s Been Five Months Since You’ve Been Back, You Haven’t Even Said Anything About What Happened”

“What Do You Want Me To Say” You Sighed Sitting Up In Your Bed “I Went To Sicily For What Was Supposed To Be A 3 Week Trip, But Ended Up Staying Longer Because I Met A Guy.. And Not Just Any Guy A Fucking Mafia Boss”

“No But I’m Your Bestfriend I Want You To Tell Me What Happened That Day Between You Two, I Want To Know The Reason My Bestfriend Has Been Locking Herself Away In Her Apartment Everyday For Five Months Doing Nothing Other Than The Occasional Grocery Shopping”

“I- I Just Feel So Stupid Ya Know” You Started To Explain .. Tears Already Lining The Rim Of Your Eyes As You Thought Back To That Day “So Naive To Think That What We Had .. That Everything Was Real”

“Sweetheart What Happen While You Were In Sicily” London Asked Climbing Next To You In Your Bed

“I Fell In Love .. But Of Course .. He Didn’t ”

But It Feels Like Yesterday

Since You Took My Heart In Your Hand

And You May Never Bring It Back No

They Say That Time Heals All Your Wounds

But I Don’t Know If That’s True, Oh, True

Because It Still Hurts

It Still Hurts, When I Think About You

Five Months Ago - Sicily

“I Never Knew You Could Cook Like This Yn” Domenico Said Tasting The Sauce You Had Cooking On The Stove

“Thank You , But Honestly It’s Just Following The Recipe”

“No, There’s A Difference Between Following A Recipe And Following A Recipe But Clearly Putting Your Own Twist To It” Dom Said Sitting On One Of The Chairs Near The Island “Massimo Is Going To Love It”

“Well I Couldn’t Of Pulled This Off Without You Dom.. Thank You Again For Telling Me Some Of His Favorite Dishes He Loved To Eat” You Said As You Were Walking Back And Fourth Between The Stove To The Refrigerator Then Back To The Stove “And For Picking Up The Groceries For Me”

“It Was My Pleasure Yn”

“Okay .. Everything’s Done In Here” You Said Taking Off The Apron You Were Wearing “I Need You To Do One More Thing For Me Domenico”

“Anything”

“Mas Is Going To Be Back Soon , And I Still Have To Get Cleaned Up, So If You Don’t Mind, Could You Or Anyone Else Set Up The Table For Me” You Said As You Started To Walk Out If The Kitchen

“Of Course Yn” Domenico Yelled As You Disappeared Behind The Wall

Massimo Was Coming Back From One Of His Business Trips Today And You Decided It Would Be Nice For The Two Of You To Sit And Have A Nice Home Cooked Dinner, With Some Of His Favorite Childhood Dishes, Courtesy Of Domenico. When You Asked Him About It He Told You He Would Give The List Of Foods To The Chef To Make But You Insisted That You Wanted To Cook The Meal Yourself, A Way Of Showing Massimo How Much You Care About Him.

It Wasn’t Anything Too Fancy Just A Simple Dinner For The Both Of You To Unwind. Things Have Been A Little Tense And Hectic For Mas These Last Two Weeks And You Just Wanted Him To Relax A Little Bit.

———————————————————————-

It Was Now Going On 8 And Massimo Should Be Back At The House Any Minute Now . After You We’re Done Cooking You Had Dom Set Up Everything And Made Sure Everything Was Ready To Be Taking Out To The Table Once You And Mas Sat Down, While You Went And Freshened Up.

You Decided On Nothing Too Fancy, A Cute Black Skater Dress That Stopped Mid Thigh, The Back Out And Showed Not To Much But Just Enough Cleavage. For Your Hair You Went With A Cute Sleek Low Ponytail And A Light Natural Look For Your Makeup With A Nude Lip . By The Time You Were Done, It Was Almost 9:30 .. A Little Late You Thought But It’s Okay, As Long As Everything Went Okay And The Night Was Still Enjoyable. You Had Informed Domenico To Lead Massimo To The Set Up Table In The Back Once He Arrived And Then You Would Be Down Shortly . Since It Was Already 9:30 You Knew You Were Running Behind Schedule So You Hurriedly Made Your Way To The Back Where Everything Was.

“I Am So Sorry I Had You Sitting Out Here, My Makeup Up Took A Little Longer Than Expected” You Were Saying As You Were Rounding The Corner To The Table But Stopped Once You Saw Nobody There .

“Hm , So I Guess I’m Not The Only One Late” You Said As You Went To Sit Down At The Table “Let Me Call Him”

You Pulled Your Phone Out And Clicked On Mas Name Hearing It Ring A Couple Of Times Before It Went To Voice Mail

“You’ve Massimo Torricelli, If You’re Hearing This I Am Busy Or Handling Business Right Now So Leave A Message After The Tone .. Hai raggiunto Massimo Torricelli, se stai ascoltando questo sono occupato o sto gestendo affari in questo momento, quindi lascia un messaggio dopo il ”

Sighing You Left A Message “Hey Mas Just Checking To Make Sure Everything Is Okay, And To See That You Landed Safely, Call Me Once You Hear This, Cant Wait To See You” Hanging Up Your Phone And Sitting It Down You Reached For The Bottle Of Wine That Was Sitting In The Bucket Of Ice On The Table Pouring You What You Feel Is Going To Be A Much Needed Glass.

3 Hours, 6 Unanswered Phone Calls, And 1 Empty Bottle A Wine Later, It’s 12:30am And You’re Beyond Pissed Off Now. So You Told The Chef To Clean Everything Up And Decided To Call It A Night . Domenico Left A Little Bit Over An Hour Ago To “Go Meet Massimo” But He Hasn’t Been Back Yet, And He’s Not Answering Any Calls Either . So Much For A Nice Quiet Dinner With The Man That You Love.

That’s Really What This Night Was About, You Met Massimo Almost A Year Ago When You Were On Vacation And To Say Opposites Attract Would Be An Understatement. What Was Supposed To Be Only A One Night Thing Turned Into So Much More . After That One Night You And Mas Were Enamored By Each other. And One Night Turned Into Multiple, Which Then Turned Into Him Asking You To Stay A Little Bit Longer.

“rimanere” Massimo Said As The Two Of You Were Laying In Bed , You Tracing The Small Tattoo On His Chest

“You Know I Don’t Know Italian Like That Mas” You Laughed Out Looking Up At Him As If Asking Him To Repeat Himself But In English

“Stay” He Said Sitting Up Causing You To Sit Up Too Pulling The Cover Up To Cover Your Chest “Stay Here With Me A Little While Longer”

“I Can’t.. My Vacation Is Only 3 Weeks Long Which Ends In Two Days.. And Even If I Wanted To Stay I Don’t Have Any Clothes”

“I’ll Buy You More , What Ever You Need Or Want I Got You Baby Girl” He Said Taking Your Hand Kissing The Back Back Of It

What Started Off As You Only Staying For A Month And No More Than That, Turned Into Two, Then Three, Then Mas Eventually Asking You To Stay With Him Permanently. You Were Skeptical At First But He Convinced You In More Ways Than One That Night That You Were The One He Wanted To Be With, And That He’d Do Anything For You.

Over The Course Of The Last Year You’ve Spent With Massimo You Know Without A Doubt You’ve Fallen In Love With Him, And Even Thought You Both Haven’t Said Those Three Words To Each other Yet, You Know He Feels The Same. Or At Least You Did, These Last Few Weeks Has Had You Questioning A Lot Of Things, Which Is Why This Dinner Was So Important For You. You Felt It Was Finally Time To Tell Him That You Loved Him .. With Every Fiber Of Your Being .

———————————————————————

Once You Woke Up The Next Morning You Instinctively Rolled Over To The Other Side Of The Bed, Only To Open Your Eyes And See That Massimo Wasn't In Bed. In Fact His Side Was Still Made Which Means That He Either Didn’t Come Back At All Last Night Or Didn’t Bother Coming To Bed . No Matter Which One Happened They Both Still Hurt.

After Stretching You Got Up And Went About With Your Daily Morning Routine . Deciding You Wanted To Dress Comfortable Today You Through On One Of Massimo Button Down Shirts That You Love To Wear And Some Black Leggings And Made Your Way Out To The Back Where The Chef Usually Had Breakfast Waiting.

As The Table Came Into View You Noticed Domenico First Then You Saw Mario Sitting Down, Then You Saw Massimo Sitting There. There Were Having What Sounded Like A Serious Discussion And Domenico Was About To Speak Until He Saw You Walking Up, Then He Stopped Talking.

“No Don’t Stop On My Behalf” You Said As You Pulled Out The Chair Next To Massimo “Continue” You Said Looking At Him .. And If Looks Could Kill , He’d Be Dead Right Now

Both Mario And Domenico Picked Up On The Arising Tension In The Air And Decided That That Was Their Cue To Leave “Goodmorning Principessa” Domenico Said As He Got Up From The Table “Mas” He Said Walking Away With Mario Following Leaving You And Massimo There Alone . You Waited Until They Were Out Of Ears Rang Before You Started Your Interrogation

“Well Goodmorning To You Too” You Said Picking Up A Piece Of Fruit Trying To Keep Your Voice As Calm As Possible Even Though You Felt Like You Were About To Explode With Anger

“Morning”

“Morning” You Repeated In A Voice Trying To Sound Like Him “Morning Is All You Have To Say? Not Even A Morning Baby Girl .. What Happen Yesterday .. More Importantly, Why Didn’t You Answer None Of My Calls”

“Let’s Not Start Love.. I Was Busy” Massimo Said As He Grabbed His Phone That Since You Sat Down As Been Going Off Non Stop

“BUSY .. He Was Busy” You Laughed “To Busy To The Point That You Couldn’t Even Shoot Me A Text And Say Hey Baby I’m Handling Something Right Now.. Don’t Wait Up.. Like Damn You Had Me Out Here Waiting For Your Ass For 3 Fucking Hours”

Grabbing Your Arm, Massimo Pulled You Close To Him So You Could Hear Him Better Because He’s Never Really One To Raise His Voice “Okay 1.. I Don’t Know Who You Think You Are But You Are Not About To Sit Up Here And Raise Your Voice To Me, And 2.. I’m The Boss Of All This Shit I Do What I Want When I Want Without Nobody’s Consent.. I Don’t Have To Call And Tell You Shit Capire (Understand) ” Letting Your Arm Go He Sat Back In His Chair And Pulled Out His Phone Again .

Him And This Damn Phone, You Were Getting Tired Of It, It’s Never Went Off This Much Business Or Not, And All Of His Important Contacts Always Called , Never Texted Him.

“Okay First Of You Not About To Sit Up Here And Talk To Me Like That” You Said “And Secondly I Deserve To Fucking Know Because I’m Your Fucking Girlfriend And Because I Fucking Love You, I Spent Hours Making Multiple Of Your Favorite Dishes Dom Said You Loved To Eat Before Just So We Could Have A Nice Night Together To Relax, Only For You To Fucking Not Come Home And Not Answer My Calls, And You Want To Sit Here And Basically Spit In My Face And Say You Don’t Care” You Said Standing Up Over Massimo Realizing That He’s Not Even Paying Attention To You, But Rather His Phone That Keeps Going Off

“And Who The Fuck Is It That Has All Your Attention Right Now That You Can’t Even Look At Me” You Said Snatching His Phone Out Of His Hand And Stepping Away From Him And The Table To Give You Time To Look And What You Seen Completely Shattered Your Heart . On The Screen Was Messages Between Massimo And Some Girl Named Mina, Pictures Of The Girl Sent To Massimo, And Even Pictures Of Mas Sent To Her. Pictures Even You Don’t Get When He’s Going For Long Periods Of Time

They Say You Can’t Sing The Blues

Until You Got Your Heart Broken In Two

Well I Can Sing The Blues

A Million Times Plus Two

“Wa- Who Is Mina .. And Why Was Last Night Such A Good Time” You Asked Questions You Already Knew The Answer To As Tears Started To Build In Your Eyes “Is This Why You Didn’t Come Home Last Night, Why You Couldn’t Answer None Of My Calls”

“Don’t You Dare Snatch Nothing Away From Me Like That Again Ever In Your Life O-“ Massimo Started To Say Walking Back Up To You Snatching His Phone Back

“Or What Mas .. You Gonna Hurt Me?” You Said Tears Falling Already “ Because It’s To Late For That.”

“sta 'zitto” Massimo Said Turning Around And Starting To Walk Away” You’re Over Reacting”

“What ??”

He Stopped To Turn And Face You Again “I Said Shut Up, You’re Over Reacting”

“Excuse Me !!” You Yelled .. Anger Now On A 100 “I’m Over Reacting .. You Over Here Fucking And Sexting This Bitch And You Tell Me I’m Over Reacting”

If You Were Being Honest With Yourself You Didn’t Imagine That This Was The Conversation You’d Be Having With Massimo. Yes You Was Upset With Him About Last Night And You Were Going To Talk To Him About It , You Just Didn’t Expect Everything To Take A Turn For The Worst .

“I Can’t Believe You” You Said A Little Quieter That Before “How Could You”

“What?” He Asked Looking At You, And The Look He Had In His Eyes Was So Unrecognizable, So Different From The Deep Hazel Brown Eyes That You Loved Waking Up Too Every Morning

“How Could You Do This .. T- To Us”

“Us ??” He Questioned As He Laughed A Laugh That Sent Shivers Down Your Spine, One That Was Going To Haunt Your Dreams Every Night “There Is No Us, There Never Was”

“W-What” You Stuttered Back, Voice No Higher Than A Whisper, So Quiet That You Weren’t Even Sure He Heard You But He Did . If Your Heart Wasn’t Broken Before, It Sure As Hell Is Now

And The Heartbreak, Heartbreak

Comes Right After The Heartache

“There Is No Us Sweetheart, This .. Between Us It Was Never Anything Serious, Just A Little Fun”

“Fun?” You Said As Tears Completely Covered Your Face Now “I Basically Dropped My Life Back In The States Just To Be With You, And The Only Thing This Was To You Was Fun?”

“Sorry To Break It To You Baby Girl” He Said Fixing The Cuffs On His Dress Shirt While Not Once Taking His Eyes Off Of You

“Well If All This Was, Was Fun Then I Guess There’s No Need For Me To Stay” You Said Attempting To Wipe Some Of The Tears That Were Still Falling But It Wasn’t Really Know Use

“No There Isn’t, Ill Get Domenico To Book You A Flight Back Home As Soon As Possible” He Said Starting To Walk Away But Before He Did He Said One Last Thing “I Want Everything I’ve Gotten You Since You Been Here .. But You Can Keep That Shirt, You’ve Ruined It Anyway” And With That He Walked Away Completely Leaving You To Wallow In Your Own Tears

———————————————————————

Somehow Massimo Managed To Get You A Flight That Same Day But You’re Not Really Surprised Anymore, It’s Massimo You’re Talking About, Anything He Wanted He Got, And Anything He Didn’t Want He Got Rid Of .. And Apparently That Was You

The Ride To The Airport Was To Say The Least Awkward. Domenico Offered To Ride With You To See That You Made It To Your Flight Safely But You Honestly Just Wanted To Be Alone . Starring Out Of The Window You Were Looking At The Beautiful Buildings You Were Going To Miss Because You Honestly Were Never Going To Step Foot In This Country Again .

So Much Was Going Through Your Head That You Didn’t Even Realize You Started Crying Again. Not Until Domenico Spoke

“Principessa ..” He Started But Then Stopped Not Knowing What To Say. But You Couldn’t Really Blame Him. Comforting A “Damsel In Distress” Wasn’t Really Apart Of His Job Description “Maybe Going Back Home Is For The Best.. This Life... This Life Isn’t The Type Of Life You Should Be Living”

“Did You Know” You Asked Looking At Him And Ignoring What He Just Said “You Know What Of Course You Knew.. Your His Bestfriend His Right Hand Man.. Damn I Feel So Fucking Stupid”

Domenico Just Sat There Trying To Figure Out The Right Thing To Say, But Every time He Opened His Mouth He Closed It Right Back Second Guessing His Words

“It May Hurt Now Principessa But Given Time It Will Get Better And You Will Forget All About Massimo, Like I Said It’s Probably For The Best” He Said Carefully Sitting His Hand On Your Knee As A Way To Comfort You

You Scoffed “Yeah .. Time”

———————————————————————

Present Time - Back At Your Apartment

They Say That Time Heals All Your Wounds

But I Don’t Know If That’s True

I Don’t Think That It’s True

Cause It Still Hurts, It Still Hurts

When I Think About You

Once You Finished Telling London What Happened You Both Were In Tears . Your Tears Because Even Though It’s Been Five Months Every time You Think About Him Or Anything That Reminds You Of Him, You Just Start Hurting All Over Again And London’s Tears Because Her Bestfriend Is Hurting And The Man That Caused It Is Still Breathing

“You Know I’m Trying .. I Truly Am” You Started To Say Through The Constant Sniffing That Was Going On “Some days I Really Do Feel Okay And Then There’s Others Where I Just Want My Bed To Swallow Me Alive”

You Got Up Out Of The Bed To Go Get Both Of You Some Tissue Instead Of Using The Covers And Your Hands When You Got Back To The Room Your Friends Was Walking Out Of Your Closet With A Cute Sleeveless Romper In Her Hand

“What Are You Doing” You Asked Sitting The Roll Of Tissue On Your Dresser

“It’s A Nice Day, The Suns Out Shining, No Clouds In The Sky.. Were Going Out And Enjoying This Day .. You Need Some Vitamin D Anyways” London Started To Say “Now Go Shower And Get Ready”

Not Even Wanting To Argue With Her Because She Always Gets Her Way You Just Complied Without Saying Anything. Once You We’re Out The Shower You Decided To Just Let Your Hair Flow Free, You Put On The Peach Colored Romper And Decided To Go Without Too Much Makeup This Time, Only Doing Your Eyebrows , Putting Some Lashes On And Some Clear Lipgloss.

“I Honestly Don’t See Why He Cheated Because Baby You Is Fine” London Said As You Walked Out Of The Bathroom Causing You To Laugh

“So .. Lets Get This Show On The Road Shall We” You Said Making Sure You Grabbed Your Purse, Phone, And Charger

“Yay Girls Day” London Said Skipping Out Of Your Room Making You Laugh Harder Because You Honestly Didn’t Know What You Were Going To Do With Her

——————————————————————-

You And London Spent The Whole Day Shopping, Walking Around Downtown, And Just Enjoying Each others Company. You All Decided To Go And Get Your Nails And Toes Done The Stopped For A Snack To East Before You Went Back To Shopping . At The End Of It All, You Both Decided To Have Dinner At This Restaurant Everyone Had Been Talking About “Maggiano’s” . You Were Hesitant At First Because You Were Honestly Having A Great Day And Didn’t Want To Go Down That Road Again Of Thinking About Massimo But London Insisted Stating “You’re Always Going To See Something That Reminds You Of Him, You Cant Let Him Take The Joy Out Of Your Life, You Have To Take Your Power Back .. Fuck Him” So Here You Are Having Dinner With Your Bestfriend And You Honestly See Why Everyone Hypes This Restaurant Up

“I Really Cant Thank You Enough For This London” You Said As You Took A Sip Of Your Wine

“Hey That’s What I’m Here For, I’m Your Bestfriend And I Will Always Be There For You Through Anything, And I Will Help You Get Through This, No Matter How Much Time It Takes” She Said As She Reached Across The Table To Grab Your Hand. Just As You Were About To Say Something The Waiter Walked Back Up To Your Table With A Bottle Of Wine And A Card In His Hand

“For You Ma’am” He Said Sitting The Bottle Down And Handing You The Card .. London Looked At You Confused But You Were Just As Confused

“I’m Sorry But We Didn’t Order This Bottle” You Said Hesitantly Taking The Card “There Must Be A Mistake

“Compliments Of The Restaurant” He Said As He Turned And Walked Away

“Well Shit I’m Not About To Turn Down A Free Bottle” London Said Grabbing It Off The Table While You Sat Looking At The Card .. This Feeling In The Back Of Your Mind Telling You Not To Open It But The Curiosity Getting The Best Of You .. As You Opened It The Beautiful Golden Calligraphy Writing On The Inside Made Your Heart Drop, And London Must Have Noticed Because She Reached Over Grabbing The Card And Looking At It, But Was Confused

“What Is This?” She Said Looking Up At You “Is This In Ita-“ But Before She Could Finish You Answered For Her Reciting The Contents Of The Card Like The Back Of Your Hand

“ Sei il mio sole, la mia luna e tutte le mie stelle”

If There Was Any One Word Or Phrase You Picked Up, And Gotten To Learn.. It Was This

“And What Does It Mean” London Asked Still Confused As Ever .. More So Because You Just Recited What Was In The Card So Perfectly

As You Started To Tell London What The Phrase Meant, You Heard Another Voice Coming Up From Behind You Saying The Same Thing. And In That Moment You Almost Died Because You Know That Voice Anywhere .

“ You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.” And As You Finished Telling London What The Card Said , He Came From Behind You Standing Next To The Table Still Looking As Good As You Last Remembered Him. For A Second You Couldn’t Find The Right Words To Say But Knowing You Had To Say Something You Said The Only Thing Your Mind Allowed You To Say, But Of Course In A Slight Whisper

“Mas..”

“Hello Babygirl”

“Holy Shit” London Said

Tag List : @nebulastarr

#imagines #365 days #massimo #massimo x laura #massimo x reader #michele morrone #fiction #movies #massimo torricelli #365 dni

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amjcpvr · 4 years ago

Text

Valentine’s Day

I hurried inside escaping the falling snow and dusted my coat off.

It was way too early.

I sighed and hurried to the meeting room since I was already running a bit late.

“Sorry.” I quickly said before taking my seat. After a few judging looks, the meeting continued.

It was pretty useless since we still couldn’t come up with a plan that satisfied everyone.

We were coming up with a plan for an event that would allow new students to get to know all the after school activities we had to offer.

The only reason I was there was because I accidentally got voted in as French club president, and, yes, I love my college resume now, but I did not sign up for 6:30am meetings.

“So I’ll check with the principal on our plans and just let him decide which is better.” The class president finally sighed after we were all clearly getting cranky from the lack of plan and the time.

Everyone immediately agreed and the meeting was dismissed.

Everyone looked so tired but I can’t blame them because most of them had part time jobs, athletics, clubs, and had to keep their grades in check.

Why are we encouraging students for this again?

I packed my things up and quickly exited.

I walked back outside and turned my car on, luckily it had stopped snowing.

I leaned my seat back all the way and took a thirty minute nap before my alarm woke me up and I exclaimed at the late hour.

I only had three minutes to walk back inside and to class.

I sprinted which was a bad idea because the snow made the roads slippery, and I almost slipped in the middle of the road.

When I walked in it seemed like the whole school had changed in that half hour because there were hearts and chocolates all over the place.

I smiled, Valentine’s Day.

I looked towards the locker that I had slipped a short note into through the slips and saw a basketball paper cut out with the number eight on it.

The name Chenle was written on the small basketball cutout and I blushed jsut by reading it.

Chenle and I had slowly been becoming friends. He was a jock, who I never would’ve imagined being friends with, but here we are right now.

I had started catching feelings for him after a few months of talking together.

I felt my heart begin to beat faster but I quickly stormed past it to get to class.

I wasn’t sure how long it was going to take him to find out who wrote it, I didn't write my name on it after all. I did, however, make it pretty obvious.

I guess I’ll find out when we get to the last class of the day.

When I was walking to fifth period, I began to regret my decision.

I passed by his class and took a glance to see if he was there. He wasn’t, so I kept walking.

As I passed the bathroom in the hall, someone came out, and we both looked up at the same time.

My eyes widened and I looked away, bad move because if he had doubts about who had given him the paper, he definitely knew now.

“Hey, can we talk?” He asked and reached into his pocket.

My eyes grew even larger and right as I was about to admit defeat and walk towards him, the bell rang and both of us jumped away from each other.

“I-I have to go.” I squeaked and continued walking to class.

Right before I was going to enter my class, I looked back and saw him walking back to his class very slowly as if in a trance.

I sighed in relief and thanked God I had escaped that situation.

What the hell was I thinking?! When I wrote the note it was just a joke I wasn’t going to actually give it to him but I had stayed up late finishing my AP Physics homework after coming back from working the drive-thru window at Wendy’s when it was freezing cold! When I woke up at 5:30am I was delirious from only getting 3 hours of sleep, that note was a mistake.

Okay, anyway, my point is I was not sane when I put the note inside.

Now I was dreading tenth period but eventually it came. So after piano, my second to last class, I walked very slowly and hesitantly to the room, one of my good friends accompanied me and after she asked what was wrong I shook my head and gave her a nervous smile.

She sighed but changed the subject anyway.

When we arrived to class, luckily he was already there, so I decided to wait outside until the bell rang.

When it finally did I hurried to my seat which was luckily in front of him so he could see me, but I couldn’t see him.

Class went by normally just a lecture and homework.

When the bell rang I ran out of there but I had to wait for my friend since we go to the weights room for a while before leaving.

Luckily the basketball team was in the gym today not the weights room, or else that whole avoiding game would’ve gone to waste.

I began hearing the clock ticking sound in my head when I saw her slowly packing her things as if she had all day.

I felt someone stop next to me and I sighed.

Mission failed.

“Can we talk? I know it was you.” Chenle said with a small smile.

He handed me the note.

“It was too obvious.” He chuckled and I took it as I read over what my 1:00 am mind had written.

Hey :)

Just wanted to let you know that you’re a good person. I really admire your ambition and passion. You’re really funny and cute too.

Happy Valentine’s Day:)

From: “nice handwriting” and “bet you won’t steal her cookie.”

Fuck, why does it sound like I wasn’t sober when I wrote this.

“Look, I-“

He leaned in and placed his lips on my right cheek.

My eyes enlarged.

When he pulled away he laughed at my reaction.

What the hell.

“Thanks.” He simply said and took his note back.

“Wait!” I yelled after waking up from my trance and noticing he was walking away.

He turned back and I caught up to him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” I whispered in his ear.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He repeated after me and wrapped his arms around me as well.

We stayed that way for a while even after the bell rang signaling the buses had left and all students should be gone.

“What… are we…” I asked as I continued to hold him.

“We’re trying.” He said as he pulled away and held my cheeks.

I nodded and smiled.

“Okay. I want to try something.” I boldly said as I took a glance at his lips.

He reciprocated the glance and we began leaning in.

And just like that Valentine’s Day wasn’t so bad.

#chenle #nct #zhong chenle #fluff #highschool!au basketball!au

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keepingupwithabi · 5 years ago

Text

Guess What Day It Is?

*sighs deeply*

Hi guys, welcome back to my blog.

Today has been one of those non-stop kind of days. I started the day like any other: I woke up, showered, got dressed. Then I cleaned my car off and headed to Dunkin because guess what?! I had to get an oil change and inspection sticker. That was an adventure all in its own, the guy literally forgot to put a new sticker on so I left thinking I was all set only to get home and realize I didn’t have a current inspection sticker. After calling the car place, they were really nice and just had me come back so they could put it on.

Once that situation was sorted, I picked up my friend and we headed to the store to pick up some groceries. Tomorrow is my apartment’s “Friendsgiving” and I am in charge of the green bean casserole, sweet potato pie (well, Patty Labelle made that for me), and squash. I have also taken it upon myself to make name cards for the place settings... just as a sweet touch. I might find some type of activity where everyone writes down something they’re thankful for then we put it in a bowl and pick it out and we all have to try and guess who wrote it.

ANYWAYS. Upon returning home from the grocery store, I found one of my roommates mid-meltdown due to the apartment common spaces not being clean enough. To give some background, the past day and a half have been pretty tense. I think all our hormones are kind of raging right now, it’s a little crazy. There has been some arguing.

So back to what happened. I helped my manic roommate clean the kitchen, bathroom, and mudroom to her liking. After that, she made up with my other roommate and I swear to God we all had a kumbaya moment, folks.

Upon all this, I ate a quick lunch and got ready for work. That has literally been my day. A crazy kind of shit show-- excuse my language. But any type of schedule I had totally and completely got tossed out the window because life TOTALLY happened.

Tuesday was a better day, though. I know I’m back tracking, but I got everything I had planned done.

I went to history class for 11am.

I ran the UTimes meeting and got everything on the agenda accomplished (meaning I got through a list of things I needed to go over with my staff writers)

I got my big communications report draft handed back, stay tuned because I have another draft due next Tuesday and there are a TON of edits I have yet to make (this will be the third draft).

I presented my Spanish project and dipped from class early (it was snowing really bad last night and since it’s a late night class, he let us leave when we were done).

I came home and got some homework done-- thank goodness, because I clearly had NO time until 8:30pm Wednesday.

Tomorrow will probably end up being another one of those days where I’ll just be running non-stop. Here’s what I have to look forward to:

9:30am: Wake up.

11:am-12:15pm: History.

2:00-3:15pm: PCJ.

3:20-4:45pm: Run to store for any last minute needs for dinner, prep squash, make sure turkey is cooking, get casserole stuff ready.

5:00-6:15pm: Spanish.

6:15-8:00pm: Homework, cook, get table set.

Dinner is sadly going to be pretty late tomorrow because two of my roommates have basketball games, which is fine, but it’s just going to be a long day.

Believe me when I say that I am going to need a FULL bottle of wine to make it through tomorrow evening. Thank goodness I don’t have anything early on Friday because I have a feeling I am going to be exhausted.

Any who, I think the last day and a half has taught me a lot about how I manage everything. I honestly don’t know how I do it. I think I just tell myself that it’s one foot in front of the other. At this point, I also remind myself that it’s just a few more weeks till I am home for a month with my boyfriend and family... also, one more week until turkey day.

I’ll be sure to take pictures of how our “friendsgiving” goes, I’ll also be sure to give you a full report of it in Friday’s blog post.

That’s all for now folks!

Yours truly,

Abi

p.s.-- my roommate asked my what day it was earlier and you best believe I looked at her like she had three heads as I responded, “HUMP DAAAAYYYYYY”. So, that’s why I chose the photo I did.

Goodnight!

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bapwoo · 6 years ago

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Ravi in Vienna

aka guide how to be the worst organizer of concerts with a speck of how to be awkward to the maximum level

It was another Monday evening at work, but next to me was resting a bag. The bag was packed to Vienna. Yes, I am gonna see Ravi. The Ravi from VIXX. The Ravi who is VIXX bias and one of my husbands lol.

Note: Links to some vids or photos will be seen below this long post lol (sorry)

Time when we were leaving: midnight Time when we should have arrived: 4:30am Time when we arrived: 4am Time when toilets were opening: 5am Time when first food place at bus station was opening: 5am Time when McDonald’s was opening: 6am Time when we could check-in at apartment: 3pm Number of hours slept: 0 Number of people speaking German: 0/3

Bus arrived earlier. Of course, it arrived earlier when first place where we could stay at was opening at 5am. But right next to the bus station there was huge train station which was opened, so we did not have to freeze outside; we were gladly chilling there with homeless people – we felt like one of them tbh. The worst idea was to go to the bathroom. I checked my face in the mirror – bloodshot eyes that it looked like I had too much of pot, and on the chin two huge white pimples, and almost the rest of face covered in red pimples; just a perfect timing, right?

After spending two hours on train station, we moved to McDonald’s to have some breakfast (last time I had breakfast on McDonald’s I was in my early teenage years… memories). We were waiting there until 9am, and then my friend got message from the place we were staying at that the keys were under the mat. We thought that maybe it will be prepared sooner, and we can have some nap. So we decided to go to the venue (our place was 5 mins away), check if there’s some numbering system and then check the apartment.

At the venue there was one girl. She asked us if we went to the concert and then pulled out a notebook with numbers (BLESS THIS GIRL!!! SHE ORGANIZED IT WHOLE BY HERSELF AND IF IT WASN’T FOR HER THE CONCERT WOULD BE A TOTAL MESS!! AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I COULD WRITE HER AWKWARD THANK YOU MESSAGE ON TWITTER AFTER THE CONCERT THANKING HER AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING). We had to write there our names and get the number. So, we write them down and me and my friend got 10 AND 11!!! (my other friend got number 1 for VIP) “HELL YES! MY FIRST AND LAST TIME BEING IN THE FIRST ROW FOR A CONCERT!!!! I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO SEE RAVI FROM FIRST ROW OMFG!!!!! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!” I could not believe that we were this lucky. That I was this lucky to actually end up in first row for RAVI’S concert. It must be something which can get fucked up…

After that we went to check the apartment. Excited seeing ourselves sleeping in bed/couch was pushing us forward. Sadly, when we arrived there nothing was ready, so we left again and went for a bit of sightseeing in our sweaty business clothes, smelly, hair messed up and fighting strong wind (No we did not meet Ravi. But after his ig post, we found out we were lost pretty near the place he was at). The funniest part of our sightseeing was our phones – three phones and each was pointing different direction to the same place lol (we got stuck at one place for one hour until we figured out the right direction to the place).

After few hours Fresh from shower and finally looking like people and after a long effort of trying to cover the pimples (unsuccessfully), we went to the venue. We lined nicely, no problems, there were still new people arriving and getting numbers. Everything was okay. I was suspicious about it. 30 minutes before wristbanding, Young Bros posted update on fb event saying THAT THE VENUE WAS CHANGED I was so damn mad and was glad I was in foreign country and just few people could understand my swearing lol. Anyway, it got somehow settled. We moved to different venue, there were still some chaotic moments, but it was p okay. Problem was the venue itself: Apparently no backstage – that meant Ravi wouldn’t have any privacy to prepare for the performance The capacity of the venue was small Another funny thing happened after few mins, when they told us that Ravi hadn’t arrived yet (it was past 6pm and during that time they should have already let vvips in…). It meant Ravi would arrive and go past us to the venue (AND HE DID HEHEHEH). That also meant that he needs to do a soudcheck. So… we were freezing next hour and half outside. I had to pee, was hungry and frozen. After 7pm they started to let us in. I could finally unfreeze. I was also able to keep my water – they did not take it from me, but they took it away to those who had it in bag. After another time (full of other ?!?!?!??!?! moments – when the girls had no idea what to do with albums which were right in front of them and just… a lot of other things) they told us that photo with Ravi would be in 6 people and WE WOULD BE SITTING ON CHAIRS AND RAVI BEHIND US (what???) and then we would put coats into the cloak room. I was already so mad at the organization that I wasn’t even nervous meeting Ravi lol. So my fear of not being able to say anything to Ravi died out the moment I saw him lol (… do not expect any long sentence from me or anything deep lol… I was just awkward as always lol). Me: [sees him] Ravi: [looks at me, smiles and says] “Hi.” Me: [grins like an idiot, smacks his hand (OH GOD IT WAS SO DAMN SOFT… CAN I HOLD IT??) and way too enthusiastically says] “HIIIIIIIII!!!” [sits right in front of him] Me: [realizing I do not want holding my coat on the photo] Me: [decides to put it behind me] Me: [putting the coat down mumbling to myself and partly to him] “I am just gonna put this here for a sec.” Me: [realizing that the coat would be seen on photo so I stopped and thought about an alternative] Camera guy: [starts to count down the seconds for photo] Me: [panicks, then apologize to Ravi for doing this and throwing coat past him to the corner of the room] … So yeah…………………

Anyway… we thought that after the photos there will be a cloak room for coats (we were told to put them to the cloakroom). BUT THERE WAS NONE. My friend asked about the cloak room and they told us that it is up the stairs. BIIIIIIITCH! YOU SAID THAT WE CAN PEACEFULLY PUT OUR COATS AND BAGS TO THE CLOAKROOM!! My friend started faster than Bolt to get the coats to the cloakroom and I was trying to save her spot in the first row. Sadly, we ended up in second row. The venue was very small. There was no barrier between us and stage. The stage was only like half meter up the ground and barriers were created from round tables (but with width less than one meter). The whole stage was prolly 5x3 square meters big. Can you imagine it? Ravi… person who always performed on big stages and who have definitely never performed at such small venue with fans hair away from him. I felt bad for him… (even tho... again bless Starlights all around the world that even in such situation they weren’t grabbing him and let him have that little of space he had) But t must have been such weird feeling for him. On the other hand I guess it could have been good experience for him. Because he definitely won’t have chance to perform on such place again lol. Really it felt like I was attending some underground concert and not Ravi’s concert.

I guess I will slowly wrap up my story. It would take another 1334 words to describe the whole concert. Just want to write down few things: Guy telling us before the concert started to stay hydrated - after they took away water........... First few songs Ravi looked so mad Wanted his mic to be louder but they ignored him which made him mad even more Mad Ravi is quite attractive His thigh in ripped jeans was the first thing I noticed when he arrived and then kept looking at that smooth and fine thing for a minute... I wanted to touch His hairy knee was also very adorable His whole self just screams FINE MAN He was most adorable when he was dancing I wanted to smooch his cheeks... his face looked so soft Oh man he was so happy while dancing and I was happy for him Where Am I is the banger Cold bay is the cutest rapper who exists in the world, but also the rudest one And his rap is no joke (check his sound cloud) Ravi talking in English with great accent, cutely reading English phrases he had on the screen before him Seriously… people should stop recording whole concerts and focus on the artist and enjoying the concert… Ravi spilling water at us SHIRTLESS RAVI HAPPENED Then when he leaned on the table to us I literally felt his heating body (sorry but I had to write it there bc it was so WHOA) Ravi taking some cameras and recording himself on them Never looked at me during the whole concert (’:

After the concert, we went outside to get fresh air. We crossed the road to wait on the other side, then decided to wait for Ravi to go back to hotel. We were the only ones sitting on the other side of the road. And when he got into car and leaving ISTG he turned and waved at us when we were waving at him… and I was happy that last time possible, he finally registered my person (:

Nirvana (with my stupid voice singing the chorus) Lean On Me - Ravi slowly preparing us for what will happen soon later (aka throwing away his shirt) The banger song Where Am I with Cold Bay and Ravi recording himself on phones and lot of screaming bc of that (btw I was not screaming lol)

Those who cannot see vids or do not want to watch them...

hehehehhehe

#ravi #vixx #ravi solo concert #ravi in vienna #I am telling you... I felt so bad for him #like... this must have been so uncomfy for him #like... not that he would hate fans this close #just... if I were him... I would be p stressed #your first solo tour in Europe... and your 3rd concert you are just... thrown to very improvizated stage #totally different from those you have ever stand #with people so close to you #how to interact with them? they so close?! it is so weird...#maybe I would be the only one thinking this lol #anyway... what also made me mad was all those fans with phones over their heads and recording him... like... you are so damn close to him...#... enjoy his amazing songs #jam to bomb or do the dance #take one or two short vids but... pls do not have your phone on whole concert #the venue was small and like... him seeing only phones up high and few people jamming to the songs #I felt bad :((((((((#also... vvip tickets included meet and greet (which did not happen)#pre-signed polaroid photo (which was not polaroid photo... only printed polaroid photo on paper)#priority to buy merch (which wasn't there lol... only those few CDs which they did not let us buy before the event)#................ clap clap clap young bros.... you could not fuck it up more #but bitch... I LOVE RAVI AND I HOPE HE WASN'T THAT UPSET AND I HOPE HE DECIDES TO GO HERE AGAIN BUT PLS WITH OTHER COMPANY THAN THEM... TY #wonshik #kim wonshik

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pathetic-at-the-disco · 7 years ago

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The Tragic Love Life of Ryan Ross: Part 3 (Masterpost)

(Continued from Parts 1 and 2; click here to see all)

So, you may have heard about Keltie Colleen.

There is a lot of discourse on the Internet about the unfortunate former relationship between Ryan Ross and Keltie Colleen (now known as Keltie Knight), largely because of Keltie’s tell-all book, Rockettes, Rockstars, and Rockbottom, which she released only a year after their breakup. Is Ryan a terrible person? Is Keltie a terrible person? Who cheated on who? How does the Young Veins’ music play into everything? What about Ryan’s 21st birthday party? Who is really the victim here?

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

(Warning: Extremely long post ahead. Viewer discretion is advised.)

It’s late August in 2006. Panic! at the Disco’s hit single ”I Write Sins, Not Tragedies” has been nominated for several awards---Best Group Video, Best New Artist in a Video, Best Rock Video, Best Art Direction in a Video, and most impressively Video of the Year---at the MTV Video Music Awards. They are also scheduled to perform the song live as part of the show.

Keltie Colleen, a 24-year-old Canadian professional dancer, lands a coveted role as a backup dancer for a band that she has never heard of at the VMAs.

A few days before the show, all of the dancers have a rehearsal with the band present, as immortalized in this video:

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Keltie is the blonde dancer who starts talking at around 1:30.

This episode is also immortalized in Keltie’s book, Rockettes, Rockstars, and Rockbottom (referenced from now on as RRR):

“A few days before the show, the band came to Chelsea Studios and watched us rehearse. The lead singer’s pants were tight and he wore Reebok high-top sneakers, while the other three wore fancy, pointed-toe Beatle boots. They all looked about 14 years old, nervous to be a few feet away from the sexy dancers romping around to their music. They drank Starbucks on the floor while managers and bodyguards whizzed around them. Apparently, they were the new hot thing and everyone cared. I still hadn’t heard of them but exclaimed enthusiastically to an MTV cameraman that I was ‘sooooo excited’ to be dancing for them.” (RRR, p92)

One of the band members, the nearly 20-year-old Ryan Ross, was captivated by something in Keltie’s smile, and he had his band manager invite her to the VMA after party to get to know each other better. This first meeting at the dance rehearsal was also mentioned in Keltie’s 2009 interview with Dance Spirit magazine:

The couple met when Keltie was a backup dancer for the group at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards. “We were at rehearsal, and the band came to see the routine. This one guy was staring at me. It was awkward!” she says. (“For some reason she was the only one I even saw,” Ryan says. “Maybe it was her smile. Something caught my eye—and still does.”)

The VMA performance went off without a hitch, except for Brendon’s shaky vocals. Keltie is the blonde in the big feathered hat and dark lavender skirt.

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To make things even better for the band, Panic! at the Disco won the most prestigious award of the night, the Video of the Year.

At the after party, Ryan and Keltie really hit it off, and talked for a long time.

“Awkwardly, I approached the band at the bar. I said hello to the thin, frail, beautiful boy beside me... The boy looked uncomfortable with his newfound fame, which I found endearing.

From the moment we started talking, I felt connected to him. He was sweet and slightly odd, like a strange bird in the zoo you can’t help but stare at because you’ve never seen anything like it. Everything out of his mouth belonged in some wild romantic comedy filled with modern-day Romeos and beautiful love songs. He existed in the present but didn’t actually live here with the rest of us. He was a starry-eyed dreamer who created an entire world in his head. Instead of dealing with the not-so-magical situations in his life, his mind transformed to a place where he was happy. His dreams consisted of haunting melodies, men in fanciful 1800s suits and a blissful utopia where people fell deeply in love.” (RRR, p94)

Keltie soon became overwhelmed with what she was feeling and left the party after exchanging phone numbers. Ryan immediately began texting her, and invited her to join him in his hotel room. Keltie took him up on the offer, and they ordered room service and talked for hours. Their connection was undeniable, but Keltie still had some doubts---largely because she was still emotionally damaged by her volatile ex, Nick Perri (brother of Christina). Nevertheless, Keltie decided to see what could happen with Ryan.

“We were both out of our league for different reasons... What he didn’t realize is that I was a co-dependent perfectionist who would seduce, date, and fall in love with him without his consent. While we ate our ham and egg sandwiches, I wish I knew that we were at the start of a beautiful and ultimately tragic love story.” (RRR, p95)

They shared their first kiss early the next morning, after taking things to Keltie’s apartment and talking until 6:30am.

“...when he kissed me on the stoop of my apartment building, I never wanted it to end. We kissed as taxis surrounded us, store gates opened and professionals in suits rushed to work, but none of that mattered. It was the most perfect kiss I ever experienced. I had no idea if I would ever see him again, but for the moment, I reveled in the sweetness of our innocent kiss. I found everything I needed to know about him with that kiss. Words were useless. I knew it. He knew it. This was it.” (RRR, p96-97)

Ryan had to leave to go back to Las Vegas, but that didn’t stop the budding relationship. He and Keltie jumped into a frenetic pattern of texting constantly and visiting one another whenever either one could manage a few days away from their responsibilities. This is what Keltie has to say about the first several days on end that they spent together:

“Even with my exhausting schedule, I barely slept for the entire four days [Ryan] was in town. Being around him turned me into a silly 14-year-old girl. I felt a sense of camaraderie with the actual 14-year-old girls who screamed during his concert.

[Ryan] was staying at the W Hotel. We spent most of our evenings in bed, eating room service, talking about our lives and learning more about each other’s deepest, darkest places. We stayed under the safe haven of our blankets, sharing secrets. When he left to fly to Europe, I stayed in bed. The sheets smelled like him. He texted me on the way to the airport, ‘I think some butterflies just flew out of my mouth.’ I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant, but I knew it was a good thing. Everything he said and did was artistic. He never said I was pretty, but instead compared my face to the night sky. Dating him was like being the ingenue of one of my favorite Broadway musicals. He spoke in the language of epic.” (RRR, p100-101)

During this time (fall of 2006), the boys of Panic! embarked on a tour of Europe, which made it even more difficult for Ryan and Keltie to see one another. Keltie was not to be deterred, though, and decided to spend her meager life savings to visit him in Brussels for Panic!’s October 20th concert. She also accompanied them to their show in London the following day and stayed with them on their tour bus. Apparently, their lifestyle was not as sophisticated as Keltie had hoped for, but she persevered.

“I watched the four boys eat leftover pizza and share a tiny one-room dressing room and the same dingy stall of a shower that wasn’t anywhere as glamorous or interesting as [their fans] assumed it was. To be honest, it was actually quite boring, and if it wasn’t for [Ryan]’s eyes staring back at me, I most likely would’ve fallen asleep.

As I boarded my plane home, I found a note inside my bag from [Ryan]: ‘Thank you for coming to visit me. You are such an amazing girl, and I keep finding out reasons why.’” (RRR, p103-104)

Soon after this trip, Ryan asked Keltie if she would officially be his girlfriend. She had some serious reservations because of how much she had been hurt in the past, but she ignored her gut and told him yes.

“We took a cab uptown to the hotel the band stayed at. It happened to be called The Dream. Ironic, since I was living out most girls’ fantasies by staying there with him. [Ryan] turned to me and asked, ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ I stopped. I might have gagged. I really liked [Ryan], but I had such terrible luck with boyfriends. I loved being together without any rules or titles. I reached a point in my life where I expected everyone to break their promises to me and figured that if I stayed out of situations involving any, I wouldn’t get hurt. I was like a child who finally learned that if you stick your hand in the fire, you’re going to get burned. But lying beside his soft skin in that magical hotel, drenched in candle light and with the grumbling of Manhattan taxicabs as our soundtrack, I could only look in his little puppy dog eyes and say, ‘Yes.’ “(RRR, p106)

This moment is obviously romantic, but it is also highly disturbing how Keltie had so many reservations at the beginning of their relationship that she ignored. She knew that she would never truly understand Ryan and would ultimately break his heart, but this was not enough for her to call off their relationship. Keltie used Ryan for emotional fulfillment and validation, and rationalized it to herself as merely wanting to take care of him.

As you can imagine, when a relationship starts this badly, it only gets much worse with time.

But of course, Ryan had no idea that Keltie was not being honest with him. He was ecstatic to have a girlfriend---so happy, in fact, that he started talking about her in public at every possible opportunity.

One notable example is when he mentioned her in Rolling Stone magazine:

And here is a video interview from November 2006 where Ryan mentions that he has a girlfriend, starting at around 3:00.

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Both of these examples are also mentioned in Keltie’s book, in a larger passage about the unfortunate stereotyping that she faced from fans and the media:

“[Ryan] talked about me on television. Someone asked him what his favorite thing was about me and he answered live, in front of a huge audience, ‘She never gets jealous.’ He confirmed to the millions of teenage fans that he was taken. I think I was the only happy fan that day. What I didn’t know was that my life was about to be turned upside down by complete strangers, the power of the Internet and cruel gossip. I felt like the target of every girl in America who didn’t understand why [Ryan] chose to be with me. To others, I was a ditzy cheerleader trying to get ahead in the business. Really, I was someone affected, introspective and falling in love.

While walking down the New York City streets every day, his face greeted me from the covers of music magazines. I bought them all to support him. His Rolling Stone issue came out and in his interview, he said he was dating a ‘nice’ girl. I was in shock to even make it into the article.” (RRR, p108)

No one deserves to be faced with such misogyny and unfair scrutiny because of their choice of partner. And unfortunately, there was a great deal of both in the Panic! fandom of 2006. Keltie and Ryan’s relationship may have ultimately been a terrible decision on both their parts, but no one deserves to be treated that way by the public.

By this time, it was December, and since the “Nothing Rhymes With Circus” tour had just ended, Ryan spent Christmas in New York City with Keltie. There continued to be a startling inequality in their relationship, but they were nonetheless happy:

“During our Christmas holiday, we shuttled around New York in hats and mittens. We took pictures in front of the tree at Rockefeller Center. We rode a carriage through Central Park. We went ice skating. It was such a wonderful time and it seemed unfair to the rest of the world that the two of us should have everything. We robbed the bank of happiness and kept all of it for ourselves. I knew I deserved it. I knew he did too.

Away from our families, we ate Chinese takeout on Christmas Eve and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas on my tiny television. On Christmas morning, [Ryan] presented me with a beautiful gold locket from the 1800s. On the outside, he had it inscribed with one word: love. It was stunning. I refused to take it off my neck for the next three years. I gifted [Ryan] with the book How to Sing for Dummies. At the time, he was so much more in love with me than I was with him. I chose to keep it light and funny, and he went right to the lovey-dovey stuff. I think he was so kind because he was never sure where he stood with me. I was so incredibly happy and told anyone but him.” (RRR, p110)

In February of 2007, they spent Valentine’s Day together at Ryan’s place in Las Vegas. Keltie was still being reticent about her feelings for him, but this would soon change after a dramatic turn of events:

“We spent Valentine’s Day in Las Vegas and decided to exchange love letters. I already knew how he felt about me because almost every minute of my day was filled with some sort of sweet message from him, but I was still so afraid to let [Ryan] know how I felt... But alas, Valentine’s Day came and we exchanged letters. His came to me on vintage card stock, pressed with a wax seal. The words of the letter were some of the sweetest I had ever heard, with statements about how he would never hurt me and how lucky he felt to be loved by me. How he would never hurt me.

Next I gave [Ryan] my present, a handcrafted memory box with pictures of us on the outside. I wanted to write so many things to him---that I was head over heels in love with him, that I was scared of him, that I was still reeling over my past heartbreak, that I would give up everything to spend my days with him---but I couldn’t bring myself to give away that much of my heart. So instead, I put a single piece of paper inside the box with three words: I love you.

The look of disappointment on [Ryan]’s face when he received his letter was devastating. I felt awful. I wished I could have given him what he wanted, all of me, but I didn’t have a whole me to give away. I was cautious to give away the little bit of my heart I had left...

On Valentine’s Day evening, after disappointing him with my small note, I grabbed my computer and wrote my love letter. I told him everything I knew I shouldn’t. I gave him my heart. I was completely honest, open, and vulnerable. I set the letter aside for him to read when I left the next morning to fly back to New York.” (RRR, p112-113)

The problem here is not that Keltie felt uncomfortable with expressing her feelings for Ryan, or that she was unsure if she truly loved him. The problem is that he could not read her mind, and she was not being honest or forthcoming with him. The ethical choice would have been not to get into a relationship while carrying so much emotional baggage, especially with someone so obviously vulnerable. Instead, Keltie strung Ryan along, accepted his gifts and affection, and never truly intended to reciprocate. The fact that she did eventually reciprocate despite her misgivings is an interesting point on its own.

February turned into March, Keltie stayed in New York, and Ryan packed his bags to leave for The Cabin™ with the guys, where they would all stay for two months.

This stint of seclusion brought the boys closer than ever before, and sparked a period of productivity. They wrote about half of an avant-garde album that was ultimately scrapped, and more importantly emerged as a solid, creative, and tightly-knit group.

It is also clear that Keltie was on Ryan’s mind during this separation, as these lyrics show:

Ryan felt like he was nowhere near as good as Keltie, that what she saw in him were just “hallucinations”, that he was “only reflecting [her] perfections”, that he was the “lucky” one. This is the first big example of Ryan’s codependency, specifically the idea that he was worthless and could not survive without her. Unfortunately, this became even worse over time.

Meanwhile, Keltie booked a prestigious gig as a backup dancer for Fergie. She texted Ryan about it a week in advance, but did not remind him at all. And when the big day rolled around, this happened:

“Backstage in costume, I was disappointed after checking and rechecking my phone to see I hadn’t received a good luck message from [Ryan]. What the rest of the world thought didn’t matter. If he was missing from the equation, I was sad, but I was sure he’d be watching.

I called him later that night, ecstatic after the heart-pounding performance. When I asked him if he saw it, he responded with, ‘See what?’ I was heartbroken. I reminded him about the Fergie performance earlier that night and he apologized, saying that he and his bandmates were busy working on a song.

This became the story of my entire summer. My star rose and fell at the same time because I could never find a way to be important enough to [Ryan]. I became an afterthought. I was on television for two and a half minutes that night and found it impossible to believe that whatever he was doing was so important that he couldn’t afford to step away for a few minutes.” (RRR, p117-118)

Keltie had begun to base her self worth on Ryan’s interest, which is extremely unhealthy. This also pitted her firmly against the other drain on his attention... Panic! at the Disco. Keltie began to resent his friends as an opponent, in a metaphorical game of tug-of-war over Ryan.

The couple began arguing all the time and growing more distant as Panic! grew closer and worked on Pretty. Odd. Keltie even began to worry that Ryan was being unfaithful, but she didn’t press the issue. Every time they would get into an argument, she would tell him what he was doing something wrong and he would give her an explanation. Keltie saw his reasons as disingenuous, and would accuse him of lying to her. Since we do not have access to Ryan’s direct thoughts on the matter, it is entirely possible that he was in fact being honest with her. Regardless, Keltie did not see it that way.

“We started fighting a lot and whenever I was angry, [Ryan] formulated a wonderfully brilliant excuse. He was a masterful storyteller. He once told me that he was so good at getting around things because he spent his entire life sneaking around behind his father’s strict, Catholic back. [Ryan] seemed innocent, but he was still capable of deceit. It was my fault for accepting lame excuses, but when the issues blew over and [Ryan] and I were good, we were so good that it instantly erased all of his wrongdoings.” (RRR, p119)

What we do have from Ryan is “Lie to the Truth” and “The Other Girl”, both of which address his accused dishonesty and ‘wrongdoings’. “The Other Girl” even includes this as the chorus:

You, you were right, I was wrong, Like I always am, And you always are. You were right, I was wrong, Like I always am, And you always are.

This seems like a response to Keltie’s behavior in the previous quote. Ryan got so used to being told that he was wrong that his apologies became rehearsed, a droning chorus of admitting that Keltie is always right and always knows better than he does.

These examples also show the disconnect in their relationship. What Keltie saw as Ryan being immature and dishonest, Ryan saw as Keltie nitpicking everything he did and expecting him to defer to her judgment. Their relationship became a strange play on teenage disobedience, with Keltie being the nagging mother and Ryan being the rebellious teen. This is not healthy for two adults in a romantic relationship.

Things became even worse when Ryan decided to adopt a dog, a cute little teacup beagle named Hobo.

He named her Hobo because she had an unstable life, which seems cute and funny when you watch this video:

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But if you picked up on Ryan’s undercurrent of bitterness as he describes Hobo occasionally going without food and smelling bad, there is a reason. Keltie touches upon this issue in her book:

“During a trip to Los Angeles to visit him, we fought in a friend’s kitchen after I found the puppy he recently purchased alone in the bathroom without any food or water, covered in her own feces. [Ryan] left for a meeting, and I stopped by to meet him at the friend’s house, not knowing he wouldn’t be there.

When he returned hours later with red eyes and lame excuses, I was angry. Not only for treating me like garbage, but for the puppy too. I told him weeks prior that getting a pet was a bad decision. But he wanted what he couldn’t have and bought the small beagle, and somehow thought in the middle of touring the world he would have time to be a dad to this little pup.

He told me her name was Hobo, put her in my arms and introduced me as her mommy. I instantly fell in love with her and became more protective of her than I was of my own heart. At the end of the fight, I was in tears holding the shaking puppy in my hands. [Ryan] turned to me and said, ‘I cannot fix this right now.’ I left, driving down the winding roads of the Hollywood Hills to stay with a friend...

Something in [Ryan] changed. His mind and lungs were polluted. I wasn’t angry anymore, just sad for him... I thought I could protect him so he would stay the sweet and sincere boy I fell in love with forever. Los Angeles had a different plan." (RRR, p119-120)

Things had, in fact, changed. Ryan was at the same time closer than ever with his friends to the point of seeing them every day, and yet more codependent than ever with Keltie.

Complicating matters even further, as touched upon briefly in the previous quote, Ryan and the other members of Panic! at the Disco had begun experimenting with drugs, particularly marijuana. Keltie was upset, but not from being anti-drug use. Her ex, Nick Perri, had been a raging alcoholic with a cocaine addiction to boot, and it never deterred Keltie at all (you can read about that in the first quarter or so of her book). Rather, she was upset because it meant that her grip on Ryan was loosening. An entire side of him was beginning to reveal itself, and Keltie had no part in it. It was also a concrete marker of Ryan spending time with his friends, and not with her.

Ryan reflected on these changes in his life, and it all made its way into the song aptly titled “That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)”, ‘that green gentleman’ being slang for marijuana. In these lyrics, Ryan muses about how he never expected to become the person he had grown into, but how he was okay with the way everything had turned out:

Things are shaping up to be pretty odd, Little deaths in musical beds. So it seems I’m someone I’ve never met.

...

Things have changed for me, and that’s okay. I feel the same, I’m on my way, and I say, Things have changed for me, and that’s okay.

This is a stark contrast from how Keltie felt on the matter. She made it abundantly clear to him (and everyone else, through her book) that she was decidedly not okay with everything. Ryan literally had to write and perform a song with his friends to reassure himself that he was fine, because his significant other was always hounding him about his life choices.

Nevertheless, Keltie continued to be on his mind when they were apart. He saw everything beautiful around him as a reflection and extension of her---her dancing, her laughter, her love. And despite Keltie’s hatred and disapproval of his new marijuana habit, he even saw her in the smoke swirling up from his cigarettes. All of this made its way into a surprisingly romantic verse of “The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know”, which he wrote around this time:

She’s the smoke. She’s dancing fancy pirouettes, Swan-diving off of the deep end Of my tragic cigarette. She’s steam, Laughing on a windowpane, The never-ending swaying haze. Oh, that ever-smiling maze, Oh, that ever-smiling maze, Ballet.

At the end of the summer, Ryan turned 21. To start the day, Keltie booked a romantic photo shoot with a photographer named Amy Dunn. (The second picture in this post is, in fact, from this same photo shoot.)

That night, Keltie also threw him a surprise birthday party at Pete Wentz’s club in New York City, Angels & Kings. She decorated the club with embarrassing pictures of his teen years and encouraged guests to wear t-shirts with an unflattering photo of Ryan on them. She also notably did not invite Jon Walker, one of Ryan’s closest friends, despite the fact that he was old enough to attend.

At one point, Keltie did a dramatic costume change and popped out of a giant gift box wearing a tiara and an ‘R’ necklace.

The birthday cake also had an embarrassing picture of 13-year-old Ryan on it.

To say that Ryan looks unhappy in most of the pictures from his birthday is an understatement. The whole thing was so far from what he would have wanted that it is astounding that Keltie made such a misstep. Something was seriously wrong with their relationship, and Keltie throwing a tone-deaf birthday party where she didn’t even invite his best friends only made things worse.

Some of Ryan’s doubts worked their way into “From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins”. He described how his relationship had turned cruel and meaningless, caught in destructive patterns. It also hints that Keltie may have been threatening to leave him, and that Ryan just wanted her to make a decision:

Go spin circles for me, Wound relentlessly Around the words we used to sling. Oh, such torturous things, Always chewing up the only ones I ever mean. If you're going, then go. Go, go, go.

Even so, as was the pattern in their relationship, they soldiered on. Ryan and his friends finished recording Pretty. Odd. a few months later and Keltie began having lucid nightmares that Ryan was cheating on her---and despite everything, they could not wait to spend Christmas together and be happy again. They even went on a Caribbean vacation:

“[Ryan] and I decided to take our first vacation together. We went far away to the Caribbean islands where no one could bother us. We were surrounded by sunshine, beautiful beaches and limitless fruity drinks. It was amazing to spend time with our cell phones off and without being bothered for hours. [Ryan] took his guitar down to the beach each day and we stared at the ocean, talking about our dreams and goals for the next year with the strum of a million melodies in his head, floating in the breeze.

We ate our faces off. We drank our faces off. We won something like 62,000 pesos playing blackjack while we were so drunk, we couldn’t stand up straight. At some point, we lost it all but we didn’t care. We stumbled home arm-in-arm through the dimly lit, cobblestone pathways of the resort. When [Ryan] and I were allowed to be us, without any of the pressures or distractions from the world, we were the best of everything. The best of friends. The best of crazies. The best of lovers.” (RRR, p123-124)

Keltie had begun to feel the pressures of their respective careers. She wedged herself into a position of control over Ryan’s musical career to the point where she took credit for several things to do with Pretty. Odd., including the line “Reinvent love” (apparently she is not familiar with Arthur Rimbaud), the title of "Pas de Cheval" (which references a ballet move), and the Russian stacking dolls in the music video for “That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)”.

In return, Ryan supported her dancing career, spent time with her friends, and bought all of her plane tickets. Keltie continued to take a strangely maternal role in his life, but both of them were too entrenched in their mutual codependency to care:

“We were a team and what was mine was his. For all the times I helped [Ryan] out, he watched me practice for an upcoming Broadway audition. He bought me flights to New York and back so I could attend a one-in-a-million chance audition. He listened to me babble incessantly about all the things I wanted to accomplish. Whenever he went away, he brought back little tokens of love---earrings from Prague, postcards from Amsterdam, a stuffed animal from Australia. He wrote love song after love song for me. Things I said or did would constantly show up in his lyrics. I was a muse for him. A mother for him. And during the times we actually slept in the same bed, a woman.” (RRR, p125-126)

Ryan had also become increasingly dependent on Keltie taking care of him, as shown in this extremely rude 2008 interview with Kerrang!:

Keltie also acknowledges this strange role she took in Ryan’s life, how she continued to infantilize her adult boyfriend:

“I was a girlfriend and a taskmaster. I kept him focused, and I sewed his clothes and managed his calendar. I made sure someone came to clean the house. I did his laundry, I paid his bills on time, and I paid my bills on time but for a completely different address. I called his family with updates and sent birthday cards when necessary. I did this because I loved him and he needed help. I did this because it was only after all these things were taken care of, that [Ryan] and I could snuggle up and just be ‘us.’” (RRR, p126)

Their relationship soon faced another trial. After over a year of Keltie accusing Ryan of not taking their relationship seriously, he asked her to move in with him and even proposed marriage, thus proving both his commitment and his New Year’s resolution to better himself. Keltie refused, but also made a series of false promises whereby she would move in with him. Every time, Ryan would do exactly as she asked, and Keltie would not follow through on her end. She simply did not take him seriously, and Ryan naively tried and tried to do what she wanted:

“[Ryan] asked me to move to Las Vegas, and I declined. He placed a ring on my finger and along with it, a million promises. We condo shopped and he bought the one I loved. We picked out wallpaper, drapes, bed sheets, art and countertops. He built me a giant, floor-to-ceiling bookcase with a ladder like in Beauty & The Beast because I said if he did, I would move in. He purchased a giant bathtub with claw feet and jets because I said if he did, I would move in. It was the running joke with our good friend and interior decorator. I could get him to buy a $5,000 bathtub, but I couldn’t get him to call me each night before he went to sleep.” (RRR, p126-127)

Then Pretty. Odd. was finally released on March 25, 2008. Ryan’s album dedication is partially addressed to Keltie, affectionately referred to as ‘Monkey’, and is startling in its self-deprecation:

Monkey for sorting me out and being amazing, beautiful and understanding of my impossible nature.

By this time, Ryan genuinely believed that he was damaged, unworthy, and unable to survive on his own. This preoccupation about being fundamentally unlovable and unstable even made its way into the chorus of “She Had the World”, sung thoughtfully in Ryan’s own soft voice.

But who could love me? I am out of my mind, Throwing a line out to sea To see if I can catch a dream.

Ryan understood on a certain level that Keltie didn’t really ‘get’ him, that “she didn’t even see [him]” because she was blinded by more important things. He also seems to have been considering breaking up with her, despite how giving and affectionate she was. If they were to break up, Ryan could only hope that his damage hadn’t transferred to her:

The sun was always in her eyes. She didn't even see me. But that girl had so much love, She'd want to kiss you all the time. Yeah, she'd want to kiss you all the time. She said she'd won the world at a carnival, But I'm sure I didn't ruin her, I just made her more interesting. I’m sure I didn’t ruin her, I just made her more interesting.

Tellingly, in a promotional interview for Pretty. Odd., Ryan refers to “She Had the World” as an “un-love song”---strange wording for something clearly inspired by his girlfriend.

Regardless, they did not break up. Even so, Keltie was very critical of both the album and Ryan’s career, and saw both as disappointments. Her career was looking up, since she had been accepted back into the Rockettes, and she began to see Ryan as a has-been:

“[The Rockettes and] I played many of the same arenas I followed [Ryan] to on his last tour. We performed to a sold-out crows, in arenas his band could only half-fill.

[Ryan] came out to visit me on tour. I happened to be on crutches after sustaining nerve damage in my leg. I was out of the show for five days, and I was unsure that I would ever dance again. Seeing my body fall apart made me cling to [Ryan] even more. In a random hotel room, with an ice bag on my leg, we talked about everything---the semi-flop of his last record, the fact that magazines weren’t calling anymore and the ups and downs of the tainted entertainment business. He said to me through tears, ‘You’re the only one who really knows me and the only person who really cares about me. Everyone else is nothing.’ I knew it was true. [Ryan]’s star was falling. I loved him anyway. I loved him more, I think.” (RRR, p128)

Then, months later, Keltie’s career had another break, since she was unexpectedly approached to be on the cover of Dance Spirit magazine. As part of the spread, she was interviewed, as was Ryan, and both of them apparently impressed all of the magazine’s editors with their cuteness.

Here is part of the interview, which was released in March of 2009:

Another pillar of support in Keltie’s life is her boyfriend, Ryan Ross. (Yes, the same Ryan Ross of the band Panic at the Disco!)... Although the two don’t get to see each other often since they both tour, they enjoy similar activities in their time off. “You wouldn’t guess it by looking at her, but she’s sort of a nerd, which is what I love about her and why I think we get along so well,” Ryan says. “We both like to sit around and read or watch the Discovery Channel.”

Having a famous boyfriend has its share of challenges, though. Since she started dating Ryan, numerous blogs, message board posts and videos have bad-mouthed Keltie. Old photos of her in revealing clothes, which she wore for previous dance and modeling jobs, were posted and scrutinized. “Sometimes I laugh it off, but some of it has affected me,” Keltie says. “It hurts when people say I’m not a good dancer or I’m using Ryan. No one deserves to hear bad things about themselves.” ...

Whether it’s as a role model, dancer or girlfriend, she proves to be just as genuine the second, third and one-hundredth time you meet her as the first. “Keltie is the most giving and positive person that I have ever met,” Ryan says. “She’s made me want to be more like her in that way.”

In February of 2009, Keltie finally decided to move in with Ryan (largely because she landed a dance contract in Las Vegas) and began making the necessary preparations. Right before the official move, they even went on a vacation together in Hawaii:

“The trip was incredible. We had the best time swimming with dolphins, watching huge turtles lay on the sandy beach, and taking our nightly walks to the hot tub. It was one of the best weeks of my life and I didn’t see a single sign of the doom on its way. [Ryan] stared at me directly in the eyes and told me how much he loved me, which seemed so heartfelt. I believed him. I believed that each year we got a little older and a little more of the growing pains of our lives together sorted themselves out. I believed we would be together forever.” (RRR, p135)

They even had a picture-perfect Valentine’s Day, filled with romance, childlike infatuation, and hope for the future:

“The night of Valentine’s Day, [Ryan] drove up from Los Angeles to spend the night with me. I moved all my stuff into his Vegas pad as I prepared to start my new job in a few days. Finally, after all our time apart, we were living together! He walked in the door with a giant flower arrangement and hugs and kisses for me. We got dressed up and he took me to a sold-out Billy Joel concert at the MGM.

We sat in the fifth row and held hands as we sung along to all the great tunes. When Billy played ‘She’s Got a Way’, [Ryan] held me close and whispered in my ear that the song was written for me. I blushed. That night on the way back to the car, we ran into one of his bandmates’ parents and talked on the street for a bit. I was amazed at the family we created through the intertwining of both of our worlds.

Worried that that we would have to stand in line for hours at valet, [Ryan] grabbed my hand and we ran giggling past all the 40-somethings at the concert, like kids in a schoolyard. We were both terrible runners and threatened to trip at any moment, but somehow we made it home that night, back into each other’s arms and back into bed. It was a perfect Valentine’s Day, one of the few we were actually able to spend together. We lay in bed that night, talking about how finally, everything worked out. We were both in the same city, working and happy with our sleeping dog between us. Perfection reached us and it was an unbelievable feeling.” (RRR, p135-136)

What happened the next morning is infamous: Keltie went through Ryan’s phone while cooking him breakfast, and found romantic messages from a young woman who appeared to be a waitress. Ryan had been cheating on Keltie, and Keltie was devastated:

“The day after Valentine’s Day, I cooked meat for the man I loved, without knowing he was seeing someone on the side, going to her house and sending late-night messages for weeks. My face flushed as I scrolled through the messages.

I honestly can’t and don’t want to remember what I saw that day, but the dates registered with me. I saw the date of my birthday two weeks before, the day I received two huge bundles of flowers while spending time with my family in Canada. He was with her on my birthday. I scrolled back farther and realized he texted her while we were on vacation in Hawaii. He sang me love songs on the beach while also thinking about some girl.

Some of the messages were about her getting off work. It seemed she was a waitress. My whole adult life I struggled to stay afloat and have an awesome career so I would never have to be a dancer/waitress and here he was, more interested in her. I was successful. I was in commercials, print advertisements, movies and music videos. None of it was enough. For him, this waitress, this random girl, was worth ruining everything.” (RRR, p137-138)

Even in the context of finding out that her boyfriend/fiance had been unfaithful, Keltie still could only conceptualize of things in relation to her career and material success.

Ryan later wrote a song about his experiences with getting caught cheating, “The Other Girl” by the Young Veins. Every line of that song is razor sharp and directed at Keltie. Ryan muses about why he could possibly want to be with another girl, and sarcastically cautions Keltie about not wasting her time worrying about him. It also includes the droning chorus of apologies that I referenced earlier.

Don’t wait around for love. You’re not what he’s thinking of When he’s with the other girl. Don’t bother waiting up, ‘cause he, He’s not where he’s supposed to be When he’s with the other girl, When he’s with the other girl.

You, you were right, I was wrong, Like I always am, And you always are. You were right, And I was wrong, Like I always am, And you always are.

Don't have much to say right now, ‘Cause I'm trying to figure out Why he's with the other girl. Life is not a fairy tale. They will send him straight to jail, Where he'll die and go to hell With the other girl, With the other girl.

You, you were right, I was wrong, Like I always am, And you always are. You were right, I was wrong, Like I always am, And you always are.

This song may seem harsh, but Ryan had just endured almost three years of being made to believe that he was unworthy and that he could only successfully exist under Keltie’s control. He had to seize his own freedom like a rebellious teenager, the underhandedness of which didn’t bother him because she would believe he was in the wrong no matter what. This is unhealthy and they were both better off without each other.

It is undeniably wrong that Ryan cheated on Keltie, but I personally believe that infidelity is a symptom of a broken relationship rather than the cause. And that is especially true here. Their relationship was doomed from the start, mired in codependency and stressed by the pressures of the world. Ryan was clearly not getting something he needed from Keltie, and spending one perfect Valentine’s Day together would not fix all of their problems.

The real tragedy here is that neither one of them were mature enough to realize this and break things off. It would have saved them both a great deal of time and unnecessary heartbreak if Keltie had been honest with him from the beginning.

Ryan eventually came to recognize this, and it found its way into the lyrics of “Defiance” by the Young Veins. He muses about being vulnerable to emotionally manipulative people, how Keltie pursued him despite believing that she could never truly love again, and how he came to realize that rebelling against her control was more enjoyable than being in a relationship with her:

From the outside looking in, I sure did make an easy target. It’s nice to think that you were always Wanted. ... Yet she said it was rust and lead, That love could never live again, But they found a way to make it stay.

...

And can’t we just be friends? This kind of thing always happens. I fell in love again With defiance.

Ryan realized that their relationship would have never truly worked out as long as Keltie was in love with Nick Perri. The reason that her heart had been too damaged to fall for Ryan completely is that she still wanted to be with her ex. She was emotionally cheating on Ryan from the beginning, and he could never live up to that. This is even the subject of the Young Veins’ song “Lie to the Truth”:

When I started out Writing you this song, I was heels over head in love, But you had your doubts, Because it took too long To finally see what I, What I'd been doing wrong.

I tried to love you, but You still loved him, so I'll ignore my heart and lie to the truth. I'll lie to the truth.

A love of mine once said, "The best part about you Was me," so now who Is judging who? I know I broke your heart. Mine is broken too. Now if we're even, Then why are we both blue?

I tried to be true, but You still love him, so I’ll lie in silence and Feel like a fool. I’ll lie to the truth.

I think that I have had enough, I guess that I have had enough Of you. I think that I have had enough, I know I’m tired and had enough Of you.

We tried to be true, but You still loved him, so I'll keep my distance And lie to the truth. I’ll lie to the truth. I’ll lie to the truth, ‘Cause you lied to it too.

This song also draws on both how Keltie would accuse repeatedly Ryan of lying (just see how many times the word “lie” appears) and how she degraded his self-confidence to boost her own (”the best part about you was me”). In these lyrics, Ryan basically says, “My love for you was the truth. You lied to me, I tried my best anyway, and nothing was enough. What else could I do?”

After their breakup, Ryan began spending more time with his band. He even briefly moved in with Brendon and Spencer, and then went camping with Jon. His friends had officially won the battle for Ryan’s attention, but this was unfortunately not to last for long. Here are some pictures of Ryan from late February 2009, originally posted to his and Jon’s Tumblr, weresoblogging.

Keltie tried repeatedly to get back together with Ryan (Ryan similarly tried to win her back a couple times), and also sadistically wanted to see him suffer. She started a smear campaign on her blog, highkicksandhighhopes, to turn his fans against him, and made a show of tweeting about him at the least provocation.

And unfortunately, her efforts paid off. If you ever see Livejournal posts or general fan discourse from 2009, it was widely believed in the Panic fandom that Ryan was just a terrible person who was probably addicted to multiple drugs and was a serial user of women. The fans were only getting one angry, miserable side of the story, and they unfairly judged Ryan based on what little they knew. This is even probably a large component of why the Young Veins did not see much success, since Keltie had alienated many of Ryan’s fans against him and the rest became angry about Panic’s split (which seemed to confirm to them that he was ruining his life). Well, at least Keltie finally had her wish for her doe-eyed dreamer to become a lonely has-been, and she couldn’t have been happier about it.

I hope that this ridiculously long post has helped you come to your own conclusions about everything. I’ve tried to stay as objective as possible, largely because the information we do have here is incredibly biased. Even so, the fact that Keltie is making money off a tell-all book that is half about Ryan and the intimate details of their relationship is ethically questionable, and more people need to realize that. She is clearly targeting Ryan’s fan base and trying to ruin his reputation, which he quite frankly does not deserve. It also demonstrates that Keltie did not recognize her own culpability, despite the lip service that she paid to it in passing.

Anyway, Ryan recovered from the breakup and shortly began seeing another pretty blonde, who Keltie immediately hated and began passive-aggressively tweeting about.

I’m talking about Kate Marie Thompson. Stay tuned for Ryan’s infamous pink suit!

CONTINUED IN PART 4

And here are all of the posts in this series!

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spn-ficfanatic · 7 years ago

Text

The One Moment- Ch7: The Anniversary

SERIES MASTERLIST - PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6

Chapter Summary: For your one year anniversary you’re headed to… VanCon! The most romantic location on Earth! Complete with screaming fans and cosplay, it’s your one-stop destination for luuurrve.

Genre: Big fluff. Massive fluff. So much fluff it’ll make your teeth rot.

Words: 2903

Warnings: Mild swearing

A/N: This song is featured in the last half of the fic, I highly recommend you check it out. Not only is it a great song, but anyone who knows OK Go will know they make some pretty insane music videos!

Previously:

“I’m just… happy. And I love you,” you replied, placing a kiss on his nose. He brushed his hand lightly across your cheek and his face became serious.

“Y/N, I’ve never before loved anyone like I love you. And for what it’s worth, when I look into my future you’re all I see.”

“Dammit Jensen,” you sighed, pulling back from Jared suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

“Don’t be embarrassed babe, you have nothing to be worried about. It was nice to find out you feel the exact same way as me, if it makes you feel better,” he told you, burrowing his head into your neck and resting there.

And it was there he stayed until he was called back to set, each of you feeling like a weight had been lifted from your collective shoulders.

You could hardly believe your 1 year anniversary was already upon you. The time really had completely flown by in a mix of dinners and pranks and weekends away and midnight romps (the latter much to Jensen’s disgust). You had yet to make plans, unfortunately the date fell on a convention so no doubt you’d be celebrating either before or after the event, and while that was a little disappointing you knew that the job came first.

The week before, you were busy doing paperwork when you heard a knock on your office door. You were thrilled when Jared opened the door, and bounded across the room directly into his arms.

“Wow, hi babe! To what do I owe this greeting?” Jared laughed as he gracefully spun you around on the spot.

“A few dozen cups of coffee, give or take. And, you know, the simple pleasure of your company,” you told him, reaching up for a kiss before sighing contently and moving back to your desk. “Most the coffee though,” you added with a wink.

“Man, I should come say hi more often,” he smiled, sitting down at the chair opposite you. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Fire away,” you reply, pushing the papers on your desk aside and sitting your pen down, giving him your undivided attention.

“So, I was just wondering if Eric needed you to come to Vancon this year,” Jared began, and you raised a curious eyebrow.

“I wasn’t planning to no. I expected he’d want me to stay here and proofread the new scripts but I haven’t asked yet.”

“Well don’t. Because I was kind of hoping you’d come along this year. With me. As my date.”

“Hun. This is a Con, not a prom.”

“I know I know it’s just, well, it falls right on our anniversary and with Lacey working all the time I just hate the idea of you being alone,” he replied, looking down at his hands to avoid your gaze.

You frowned, and lifted his chin with your hand to force him to look at you.

“Sweety, I promise I would be ok. But if you’re sure you’re alright with my being there that’s fine too, I don’t want to distract you from your work but I DO want to be with you. Usually I get to see the Con’s from the other side; this could be a lot of fun actually,” you replied, liking the idea more and more as you talked about it. “Maybe Lace could even get the time off, she’d totally love cos playing as Sam Winchester,” you teased, which garnered a smile from Jared.

“That would be a lot of fun. See if you can tee it up?” he asked, giving you a kiss before his phone started to ring. “Crap, they need me back.”

“It’s ok hun, I’ll see you at lunch.”

You blew him a kiss as he walked out the door, and spun around in your chair with glee once he was out of sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were thrilled to get to your hotel after what ended up being a fairly stressful week. Jared and Jensen had already headed downstairs to finalise some business with the convention so you took the opportunity to call Lacey. Sprawled out on the bed, you kicked off your shoes and sighed contently.

“Living in the lap of luxury are we?” Lacey greeted you on the other line.

“This bed is made out of clouds or something, I swear,” you replied with a smile.

“Well, you’ll have to give me a demonstration when I get there in the morning. Breakfast in bed!” she whooped with excitement. “I could only get a crappy single on level one… I’m betting my bed is made of razor blades.”

“Nah, they’d spring for hay at least, you’ll be comfy enough. Hell, Mary gave birth in a stable so it can’t be too pricky.”

“If you say so. Worse case scenario I’ll just come up and kick Jared out of the bed. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Funny thing is, he’d probably happily take the sofa,” you replied with a smile.

“Yer, dude, what’s with you getting all the good ones?” she whined. “ANYway, I’ll be there around 7:30am ok?”

“Sure, and hey come straight up to our room, we can have breakfast with the cast. Buffett and all,” you told her.

“Food, glorious food,” she started singing down the line. “Shit ok, I better go, my supervisor just walked past. Byies!” she rambled quickly before hanging up, leaving you rolling with laughter on the bed at the image of her singing in the hospital hallway with her boss in earshot. You calmed yourself long enough to hear Jared open the door, followed closely behind by Jensen.

“Hey guys, how’s it all going?” you asked, rolling up into a sitting position on the bed.

“Yep, all the arrangements have been made. What were you laughing at?” Jared asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. You shrugged.

“Just listening to Lace embarrass herself in front of her boss. So you know, nothing new.”

“So, what are you crazy kids gonna get up to tomorrow?” Jensen asked, sitting on the couch opposite you with a bottle of water, while Jared sat next to you on the bed.

“I figure after breakfast we’ll see as many panels as we can, check out some of the costumes. You know, the usual thing.”

“There’s a concert on tomorrow night that you should check out,” Jared added, taking a sip from his water.

“Maybe. Will you guys be there?”

“We might make an appearance,” Jensen replied non-committedly, catching Jared’s eye.

“Well, is it worth going if you won’t be?” you asked. “What actually is this concert?”

“Rob will be playing with his band. They’ll belt out some songs, hopefully the crowd will get into it… sounds like it’ll be a great night, you should definitely check it out,” Jared said, pulling you in to kiss your temple before jumping up and heading for the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“Well yer, ok, I guess we will,” you told him. “Promise me we at least get to have an anniversary dinner on Sunday night babe?” you called out, glad to hear a muffled sound in the affirmative coming from the bathroom between brushes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day went by in a complete blur. Jared let Lacey in at 7:30am before hopping in the shower, leaving her to bounce on the bed and wake you up in a frazzle. Once you’d managed to slow your heartrate down you both began excitedly preparing your day. She seemed SUPER excited about the concert and left no room for negotiation on your attendance, so you locked that one in. A few panels, silly photos and shopping for merchandise later you found yourself an hour out from the concert and despite yourself feeling a bit down.

“Hey Y/N, what’s wrong?” Lacey asked you concerned, as you both got ready. You shrugged.

“I dunno, it’s dumb. I just, it’s our anniversary tomorrow and I haven’t seen him all day. Like, properly seen him. If we hadn’t gone to the panels I actually wouldn’t have laid eyes on him since breakfast,” you pouted. “I came so we could try and get some time together but it hasn’t happened at all yet.”

“Awww, come here babe,” Lacey cooed, arms outstretched inviting you in for a hug. You approached and was reaching for the embrace when you instead received a slap on the back of the head.

“HEY! Geez Lace, what was that for?” you cried, rubbing your scalp.

“Dude, I’ve not had sex for like a year so take that whining elsewhere,” she told you in playful annoyance before softening. “You know he’s going to try and meet us at the concert, and you’ve still got your romantic dinner thing tomorrow night. So just come out and have fun and be glad to have him to cuddle up to when you get back, OK?”

You sighed and nodded your head before Lacey pulled you in for a proper hug, pulling away quickly when she remembered her hair straightener was ready for her.

A few hours later you both found yourselves downstairs in the concert hall, hot and sweaty from the continuous dancing. You’d not yet seen Jared and were considering heading up to your room at that point, when Lacey seemed to sense this and grabbed you even harder. She was having the time of her life, and while you were definitely enjoying yourself you knew you’d be just as happy watching a movie with Jared.

“I know what you’re thinking. Just, like, 30 more minutes ok?” Lacey yelled out above the music, giving you her best impression of Sam’s puppy dog eyes knowing you couldn’t resist that.

“You suck, you know that?” you told her dryly before groaning loudly. “OK, I’ll give you 15 more and then I’m out.”

“20!”

“15 Lace! No negotiating.”

“GAH! OK fine! Here, hold my purse for a sec I better check my phone.”

You continued to watch Rob on stage and move around tiredly to the music while Lacey appeared to be writing a SMS, presumably work.

“Can’t they leave you alone for even one day?” you asked her.

“Huh?”

“Work, right?”

“Oh, right. Yes, a doctor’s work is never done babe, you know that,” she replied with a wink before putting her phone away and turning back to the stage. The song was slowing down and you watched as Rob made a concerted effort to listen into his earpiece. Apparently someone was telling him something.

“OK guys, we have a special treat for y’all,” Rob called into the microphone, the last song fading into the background. “Can we all please welcome Jensen Ackles to the stage!!”

You looked around in amusement as the crowd went wild. You had given up expecting them to “make an appearance” as Jensen had suggested the night before, so this was a pleasant surprise. He gave Rob a hug before taking the microphone and moving to the front of the stage.

“HELLO VANCOUVER!” he cried out, like the big dork rock star he thinks he is you thought to yourself with a grin. “So it’s just me for the moment, Paddles should be out soon but there’s something else I wanna do before he does. I understand my best mate Y/N is in the audience with y’all. I mean, she’s also Jared’s girlfriend but you know she likes me better,” he added with a wink.

You brought your hand to your face with a laugh, hiding in embarrassment while a few of the fans turned around and gave you a friendly smile. A few started pointing you out to Jensen and you weakly raised your hand to grab his attention. His face lit up when he saw you and he pointed enthusiastically.

“There she is! Looking all hot and sweaty like the rest of you, good look Y/N/N,” he nodded and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Alright alright, so we’re gonna do something a little different right now. As some of you might know it’s Y/N and Jared’s anniversary tomorrow and he wanted me to organise a little something special.”

The crowd screamed loudly and clapped in celebration, and you were starting to wonder where this was headed. Was Jared really going to make you celebrate this without him? Almost like he read your mind he answered for you.

“He’ll be out any second but maybe we should we just start, whadda you say Rob?”

He nodded and the band started playing. You looked at them in confusion as you realized the song that was playing, that Jensen was preparing to sing. It wasn’t a Louden Swain song you’d ever heard before, nor a rock song which seemed to be the popular choice of the night. It was your favourite, the one you had danced to the night you met Jared at the bar you recalled. You looked at Lacey in confusion, and your heart skipped a beat as she looked at you with a soft smile and glistening eyes.

“Lace, what the-“

“Just shut up and listen Y/N,” she told you, turning you back to the stage and wrapping her arm around your shoulders.

You relented, still confused but loving the song and swaying to the music, unable to help yourself singing along to the first verse. As the chorus swelled the fans around you got into it as well, holding their phones in the air and swaying them above their heads.

And this will be The one moment that matters And this will be The one thing we remember And this will be The reason to have been here And this will be The one moment that matters at all

As the second verse began, you gasped as an image of yourself and Jared was suddenly projected onto the wall behind the band and fans started screaming around you. Jensen continued to sing and glanced above to see, grinning as he turned back to you to watch your reaction. It was your favourite picture, one taken at the zoo just a few months prior, and your heart started pumping faster at the sight. You barely heard the people around you as you continued to watch the pictures change with each line of the song, each one a different picture of you and Jared doing something together. Feeding each other lasagna, hiding behind a wall ready with a bucket of water to tip on Jensen’s head, piggybacking around set. You turned to Lacey again and she was watching you, tears now falling freely and hugging your side tightly.

“Is this…“

You didn’t finish, and she didn’t answer. She gave you a kiss on the cheek before taking your hand and leading you to the front of the stage in a skip. You followed behind in a daze, still watching the pictures and trying not to trip over anyone in the process. Thankfully you had parked yourselves not too far from the front, but as the moments went on you realized this wasn’t by accident.

And this will be The one moment that matters And this will be The one thing we remember And this will be The reason to have been here And this will be The one moment that matters at all

So won't you stay here with me And we'll build until we've blistered our hands So won't you stay here with me We'll build us some temples We'll build us some castles We'll build us some monuments And burn them all right down

Just then Jared appeared on the stage, dressed to the nines in a suit and tie holding a bunch of roses. You had to hold onto Lacey for fear of your legs giving out, as he walked towards you with purpose. He looked nervous but elated as he strode toward you, the band still playing to your deaf ears at that point. There was literally only one thing you could focus on right at that one moment and that was the man coming toward you. As he reached the front he held out his hand and Lacey made to lift you up. You took your shaky hand and placed it in his, allowing them to get you onto the stage without any effort on your part. Jared took both your hands in his and looked into your eyes contentedly, and as the last chorus started he knelt down onto one knee.

You were the only people in the room at that point, though Lacey would later tell you the noise was deafening. He didn’t say anything as he looked at you from the ground, pulling a ring box from his pocket and opening it to reveal a beautiful opal ring you’d seen and admired several months prior. Never one for tradition, you had commented in passing that you’d happily wear that ring the rest of your life and Jared wisely took the hint. You both just looked into each other’s eyes and had a silent conversation. After a few seconds he mouthed 2 simple words to you, words he knew you couldn’t misread.

“Will you?” he asked, his eyes started to brim with tears.

You at this point however were a sobbing mess. You couldn’t stop the tears flowing and within less than a second you started laughing and nodding furiously. He smiled madly at you as he slipped the ring onto your finger and leapt up to embrace you. You leaned in to kiss him, trying to keep it PG but realizing you were probably failing miserably as loud whooping came from the crowd.

You looked around to find your friends. Jensen had finished singing, leaving the rest of the song with Rob, and had brought Lacey onto the stage while you’d been distracted, watching from a few metres back to give you your privacy. Well, as much as you could get on a stage in front of a few hundred fans and cameras. At your invitation they raced forward and you all hugged as Rob finished the song, none of you caring that the World was watching right at that moment… that one moment.

This will be The one moment that matters And this will be

The one moment that matters at all

CHAPTER 8 HERE

BONUS CHAPTER: In Sickness & In Health HERE

“Everything” Tag List - @angelsandwinchesters , @grace-for-sale, @growningupgeek, @nanie5, @iamnotsaneatall

“The One Moment” Tag List - @pansexualmoose, @winchester-writes, @winchester-lover999, @fandomoniumflurry, @oneshoeshort, @ellen-reincarnated1967, @the–real-wombat, @demonic-meatball, @waywardlodging, @lelifesaver, @imaginationisgrowth

If you asked and I forgot to tag you I’m so immensely sorry, don’t be scared to send me an Ask!

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remembermemorablememories · 7 years ago

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Monday, February 12, 2018

post #35

main points:

- went to discussion for CSDS, crypto class

- sent out letter to walter

- homework

- club meeting

- personal thoughts

today i:

- woke up past my alarm... it was 10:38am when i woke up. my class was at 11:15am and i could show up at anytime cause we were just demoing our Raft implementation stuff. but i was confused when i woke up cause somehow my alarm for 10am didn’t go off. i looked at the dresser next to my bed and my phone wasn’t there. i looked at the ground and found my phone almost underneath my bed. somehow i must’ve knocked it down in my sleep.

speaking of my sleep, i had a very bizarre dream. and i woke up with... kind of a mess on the sheets...

i went and took a shower, made a PB&J sandwich, and went to discussion

- i got there around 11:25am, demoed my project, and left around 12:10pm to go to crypto class at 12:20pm. we learned about encipherings (CBC and CTR)

- me ryan alex brian and tyrone went to the central food court to get lunch after class ended at 1:35pm. we ate until like 2:30pm ish

- i got back around 3pm and kind of lazed around. i felt so tired for some reason. probably cause i’ve been getting six hours of sleep over the weekend even though i didn’t need to go to sleep so late. i played fort nite over the weekend with dimitri and brian and stayed up so late... sigh

- i finished writing my letter and took it to UPS to mail out to walter. when i went in the guy asked me if i wanted to track the letter and i was like sure why not. he then proceeded to tell me it was $60 for tracking and then i was lie...

NOPE.

so i wrote the letter to the right address on an envelope and sent it out the normal way. apparently it’ll get there in a couple of weeks. snail mail is truly slow (but so interesting)

- went back, did my lecture reading on Zookeper for CSDS

- around 6:45pm, i took the T back to east campus to our hackathon organizer meeting. that went on from 7-8pm. from 8-10pm we had our student developer club meeting (OW). it was pretty productive. we’re starting a mini internal workshop series and today i did a brief talk on github and how to use it for project management (i.e. issues and milestones). i also ended up showing some stuff about branching/PRs. after that, i spent the meeting helping a member deploy his slackbot on heroku, and another new member with some quick iOS things

- took the T back to my apt around 10:30am. stopped by for some chicken tenders since i didn’t eat dinner yet. brought it back to my apt and ate it while watching the office. i’m trying to pull up the episodes i watched but my internet’s being really slow for some reason. it was the episode where gabe made his debut from sabre acquiring dunder mifflin, and also the episode after that

- i showered and looked a bit at the next part of CSDS homework. it’s 12:57am now and i’m pretty tired. i’m ready to go to sleep. gotta wake up at 9am tomorrow

at the end of our OW club meeting, i was chatting with 3 of my friends. in conversation it came up about valentine’s day stuff and when it came to me asking about what i had planned with my gif, i ended up having to explain that my gf and i broke up at the end of last semester. in the moment it felt okay talking about it. they said i was so low key about it that they didn’t even realize it had happened. i also haven’t really told many people yet cause i don’t wanna go around being like “oh yeah me and my gf broke up”. i feel like i should only tell people if they ask. i shrugged and we talked about it briefly, and then moved onto a different topic.

but on my way back to my apt after the meeting, i felt like bringing it up in conversation brought back some more thoughts again about my ex-gf and i just felt this sense of loneliness. it was a sad T ride/walk home. i was thinking to myself that i don’t really talk to her anymore. at least in the same way/frequency. for a moment, i was surprised at how okay i felt about everything, about not having someone to talk to every day. but i quickly realized that i was just playing myself. i don’t think i’m emotionally okay with everything that’s happened. but i feel like i’ve been getting a lot better with coming to terms with it. after i came home and started watching the office and eating chicken tenders, everything was okay again anyhow so

yeah i guess that’s it. time to go to sleep

good night

edit: sigh. i just had to retype this entire post cause my internet cut out. i had to screen shot it since tumblr wouldn’t let me highlight the text of my post. i manually just typed it all out. it’s 1:17am now. i’m going to sleep

P.S. the office episodes are S6E15 and E16

#post #february #2018 #personal

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ericotrips · 5 years ago

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I don’t really know what made the morning perfect. It didn’t rain but today was unlike any other since the beginning of my stay in Osogbo, the air was fantastic; the weather delightful; and my bed was enticingly warm. All I had to do now was enjoy my honey-heavy dew of slumber.

This Blogpost is specifically packaged for all Prospective National Youth Service Corpers. Wherever you are, it’s not enough to just serve. Explore your new village, town, city or suburb.

Best of the year to you!!!

The day was Sunday, 27th of October 2019. Exactly ninety six hours before completion of my National Youth Service Corps Program and basically, I was working on a YouTube VLOG the night before [Click to Watch my Paintballing video]

mans was in the zone…

I thought about meeting my new friend, Reggie. The last night, we had an amazing conversation on blogging and I was agog at her knowledge plus illustrious accent which I duly complemented. Anyways, that was enough happy thought for the freezing cold, I had to get out of bed immediately!

So it’s 6:30am and I’m up after a short prayer, I couldn’t even waste any time in the bathroom because the weather was starting to gloom. Before anyone could say Jack and Rose, I was in a korope on the way to Ede with my friends. All this, to honour an invitation.

Don’t know what Korope is? Read it here!

And Gbas Gbos Gbam, that’s exactly how the journey from Okefia to our destination kicked off… the bus was so rickety that I felt every single bump through my spine, this was definitely going down as one of my worst journeys ever.

Combing through the highway and journaling at the same time was a bit different from what I previously did, this new change specifically cut from Reggie’s piece-of-candy advise on content creation. Ever since, I’ve been writing in the moment. Now that’s a good check.

Like most Nigerians, I really want the government to fix up the roads. Thankfully, I could identify a bundle of attractions along the “gnashers,” such as; Adeleke High School, Baptist High School, Erinle Reservoir, Osun Water Corporation, the Timi of Ede Palace, a dysfunctional Cocoa Processing Plant and an Airport Facility lightyears from completion.

#gallery-0-9 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-9 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-9 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-9 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

It would’ve been much better if I didn’t have to shield myself from hitting the side of the bus whenever we went up-and-down. “This thing na chair abi na plank,” Spiny Joe jested as the trip continued… at the time we were fast approaching Owode Ede, a few minutes from our destination.

My friends and I alighted the bus and almost instantly, there was an argument on whether it was better to ‘trek’ the remaining distance or hire another Korope. Imagine! Somewhere we hadn’t been to in the past. Trust, I won the argument and in no time, a fellow Corper approached the bus teasingly to give a warm welcome.

Minutes passed and by then, I began noticing that we weren’t the only invited guests. The house of worship was stuffed to the roof with other Corpers from different local government areas and divisions.

Remember, all this packaging was just to honour a “Corper Sunday” but was it worth it, now? Mostly yes! The sermon centred around the Spirit of Excellence (Daniel 6:3) and I so loved the hymns. Particularly this one…

Holy, Holy, Holy! All the saints adore Thee, Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy seq; Cherubim and Seraphim, falling down before Thee Who wert, and art, and evermore shalt be.

The service lasted for another couple hours before we shared the Grace. My friends and I took photos and when the time came, we had group photos with other Corpers in the Church. After exchanging contacts and pleasantries, we began our long journey home. It was a fun day!

Everyone would have expected the journey to be hitchfree but apparently not… time, 11:28am and the sun was now out in full bloom. To escape the heat, we quickly biked to the next bus stop and the bike men, Tunji and gang actually deceived us! The distance was “trekkable” and instead of letting my friends and I know, they still picked us.

Anyways, the six of us, five guys and a lady soon filled up the next bus. And we were off in no time, this was just another variant of Gbas Gbos Gbam! The seats this time were highly uncomfortable and the exhaust pipe didn’t sound like it was supposed to, it gave off an annoying “brrrrrh” noise which made the thirty five minutes journey seem like forever.

I knew we were back in Osogbo when I first spotted Osun Secretariat and the Fingerlicking Restaurant much later. Because we didn’t plan well for the trip plus our invitees couldn’t help with a proper description our money was exhausted by now…

My bro, Sunday sounded like a comedian when he suggested we finish the journey on foot! I literally broke because it was about a kilometre away… “which kind stress be this one,” I thought at first. Well, it didn’t take long before we started the terrific 15-minute hike.

No one even waited to give us a lift and maybe that was a good thing, I took out my phone to add to my contributions on Google Maps. On top of that, I stopped by Ideal Nest for a comprehensive tour of the best Hotel in Osogbo. Thanks to their kind reception.

Although I could hardly get out of bed this morning, today rounded off as impeccably good. I was back home with my friends now and I was so happy I got to experience another cardinal of Osun state and once more, I saw the NYSC Orientation Camp.

In a couple of days, I’d have been out of Osun for good after finishing off NYSC. The constant electricity, somewhat good roads, great people, minimal traffic congestion, tourist destinations, I was going to leave all of it behind. How difficult?! Someone please get me an ukulele.

LIST OF PLACES I VISITED DURING MY ONE-YEAR NYSC PROGRAM

Genesis Art Gallery

Nike Art Gallery

Omidiran Art Gallery

El Carvar Art Gallery

Susanne Wenger’s House

Osun-Osogbo Grove

Lake 264

Aloha Hotel and Resorts

Ideal Nest Hotel

Dotbol Cinema

And so much more…

It took about 45 minutes but, I eventually fell into a fast sleep and slumber, which detained me in my comfy bed until it was almost midnight.

Photos From Komsabi and Twitter

HOW I FEEL AFTER SPENDING 5 HOURS IN EDE I don't really know what made the morning perfect. It didn't rain but today was unlike any other since the beginning of my stay in Osogbo, the air was fantastic; the weather delightful; and my bed was enticingly warm.

#Corpers #Ede #nigeria #NYSC #Osun-Osogbo #Owode Ede #Passing Out Parade #Place of Attractions #Travel Adventure

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randombitsofthisnthat · 5 years ago

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London and Spain 2019

Yes, for the 2nd time on this blog, i’m writing something about travelling lol

This summer, i visited London (after leaving for 10 months... i know...), Barcelona and Pamplona with one of my besties. This journey, man, i tell you, was one of the most unforgettable and interesting ones i’ve had so far. You’ll see why as you keep reading.

The trip was, in fact, fairly short and rush to be honest. We left Hong Kong on the 1st July, arrived London on the 2nd and we were back to HK on the 11th July.

It was my friend’s first time travelling to Europe (and with such a crazy and tiring itinerary lol) so we did a bit of sightseeing together. As always, you can never get bored with London. There are so many things and places you can do and visit. So, as tourists, my friend and i went to the famous Duck and Waffle for brekkie (it was my 1st time too!). With the beautiful view overlooking London city and their iconic duck and waffle on your marble top dining table, that was literally one of the most delicious and enjoyable breakfasts i’ve ever had.

Within the real short 3-day stay in London, i’m glad that i was able to squeeze in some time to meet with some of my London friends and former colleagues. It was always lovely to see and chat with them!

Leaving London, we off to Barcelona and Pamplona, the main destinations of this trip. We stayed there for 5 days (including 1 night in Pamplona) where all the silly things happened.

Our first day in Barcelona was actually nice. We visited the Mount Tibidabo after settling ourselves at the airbnb. Mount Tibiado is the tallest mountain in Barcelona, and it’s not just a mountain, but one with an amusement park and a cathedral (we went there for the view and the latter one tho). We took metro L7 line to Av. Tibidabo, got on the bus which took us to the plaza where we took the tram to the top of the mountain. Apart from a bit of detour in finding our way to the bus station near the metro, the view from the mountain was not bad at all.

The tram to Mount Tibidabo

Overview of Barcelona city

Tibidabo Cathedral del Sagrat Cor

Speaking of the detour, as we asked for directions to the bus station, we accidentally came across an elegant old lady whom aunt was a saint of that cathedral as we chatted. My friend and i were quite amazed by that :O We finished the visit by having a GIANT glass of Sangria at one of the peak restaurants.

On the second day, we visited Mercat de la Boqueria and Mercat de Sant Antoni, two of the famous markets in the city centre in the morning. Mercat de la Boqueria is famous for its great varieties of food. Tapas, seafood, ham, cheese, fruits, you name it, were all there.

We tried some of the oysters and unis. fresh and yum.

While Mercat de Sant Antoni, first opened in 1882, is known for its vintage goods/ books stalls set outside the market on Urgell street on Sundays. The market reopened in May 2018 after undergoing a major renovation. Again, the food there was amazing. Compare with Mercat de la Boqueria, we found this one more local and less touristy.

After the markets, we walked around the Sinagoga Major de Barcelona, The Ancient Synagogue of Barcelona. We didn’t join any walking tour but just wandering around by ourselves. If you would like to know more about its history and have someone explains to you properly, there are loads you can join as we could see.

Sinagoga Major de Barcelona, The Ancient Synagogue of Barcelona

We then spent the rest of the day visiting Gaudí’s architecture. First off was the Park Güell. Under the crazily hot and almost-too-sunny weather, we strolled around from 3-ish pm until 7-ish in the evening. After that, we had a tasty seafood paella as dinner in a restaurant in the L'Eixample district.

Park Güell

Seafood paella at Bodega Joan, an authentic Spanish pub and restaurant.

After having such a big portion of paella (we tried very hard to finish the whole thing but couldn’t...), we decided to walk back to the bnb by stopping by another two iconic Gaudí buildings, Casa Batlló and Casa Milà aka La Pedrera.

On our way to these two spots, we saw a big recycle bins (you can see these bins everywhere in Barcelona) on fire, was literally burning from the inside. We immediately asked a lady who walked by and phoned the police. Seeing the smoke and the strong smell, another man walked past and asked us what happened, “The trash bin is on fire”, said my friend. ‘Oh, that’s better.”, the man replied with a relieved expression. My friend and I couldn’t quite believe what we heard. We guess he meant it was good that the fire wasn’t come from a building nearby LOL

Casa Batlló

Casa Milà, also known as La Pedrera

The 3rd day in Spain, instead of staying in Barcelona, we travelled to Pamplona for the Fiesta de San Fermín (Running of the Bulls as you may heard of), one of the oldest and traditional festivals in Spain. This annual 9-day event takes place on 6 - 14 July.

But who knew we would almost missed the train to Pamplona (yes, what a ‘great’ start to the trip). We literally were late for ONE minute and were told by the station staff that our train was GONE. We then headed to the ticket counter to see if there were any chance that we can take the next train. “It’s very difficult to get tickets to Pamplona today”, said the lady, shaking her head. BUT, after a bit of searching on her computer, we were so grateful that we were able to get another indirect train there (knowing that we weren’t suppose to exchange the tickets for FREE and my friend saw on the computer screen that those two tix originally costed something like €142......).

Because of the festival, nearly 99% of the hostels and hotels were booked up way ahead the festival began, even our airbnb costed us HKD two thousands something for just one night. So my advice is to book at least 10 months or a year ahead if you are planning to go. Yet, the host and the apartment were outstanding. We had a very nice chat with the retired psychology teacher/ artist and she even gave us a lift to the train station when we left.

And little did we know that the dress code for the festival was all white (from top to bottom i meant, and people were all so ready and dressed for the festival as they got on the train from different stations), we only had a white tee shirt. Luckily, we got a souvenir pack which includes a small red scarf, a foldable red fan and a festival guide by finishing a survey right outside the train station. Although we missed the opening ceremony (which started at 12noon at the City Hall), we were very excited that we got to see a spectacular fireworks display at night!

How lucky we were!

Our outfits were SO TOTALLY not matching with the people behind us...

The fireworks was SURREAL.

Apart from drinks and parties, family with kids can also joined the fun by buying some sort of lucky-draw tickets to redeem gifts ranging from stationery to groceries. My friend and I bought 4 tickets at €3.2, got nothing but were told that we might be able to win €2500 at the finale draw when the festival ends.

Of course, the major event of the festival was the running of the bulls (i’d like to clarify that we DO NOT support they treated the cows that way). The very first bulls run kicked off at 8am on the second day of the festival. We got there at around 7:30am but was already very crowded that we had to stand on a table to watch.

Strongly suggest early arrival at like 7am if you want to get a good spot.

Another major event took place after the bulls running was the Giants and Big-heads Parade. There were four pairs of four meters high giants, each pair came out as a king and queen, representing Europe, Africa, Asia, and America, with some smaller giants accompanied behind.

After the Giants and big-heads, the statue of San Fermin came out, accompanied by the clergy. They prayed and sang in the middle of street, the crowd was in absolute silent when this took place.

The statue of San Fermin

People stood at their balconies to watch the parade

Bands and music all around

People went crazy with the cows statues

Despite an awful lot of drunk people and smokers, both my friend and I were glad that we eventually made it to Pamplona and enjoyed the festival a lot. Not only because it was something new and interested us, but also we were able to get to know more about their culture and history, celebrate together with the locals. (Click here if you would like to learn more about the festival)

After two long day in Pamplona, we returned to Barcelona for one last day in Spain. Yet again, who would have guessed that another ‘amazing’ incident happened when we visited the infamous Sagrada Família.

Right, here’s what happened.

We bought the ticket via its official website when we first arrived Barcelona, my friend and I actually read through the details together and confirmed all are fine. So we set off from the bnb and arrived at the Cathedral at 9am on the 8th of July. When we were about to go through the first ticket check, the staff suddenly said to us, “Wait, wait, your ticket is for the 9th, TOMORROW.” My friend and I were like, WHATTTTTT?! Are you joking?! We booked the right tickets. Then we looked at the tickets again, OH MAN, it writes 9 JULY 2019. We couldn’t believe our eyes and wanted to cry out loud... We told the Cathedral and the customer service hotline staff that we were leaving in the evening and asked if there are tickets that we can buy on the spot, but the answers were no no no. All the tickets were sold out for the day, all they could do is give us the refund.

So my friend and I sat outside the Cathedral, feeling and looking helpless, thinking how the heck we booked the wrong date... Suddenly, my friend said, “hey we got the tickets from the official website, does it mean that there are non-official sites that we can get the tickets?”. I was like, “YES YES YES!”. We then started searching on our phones like rushing to finish an exam paper before the teacher says ‘pens down’.

After 5 minutes of searching, we MANAGED to get 2 tickets at 3pm in the afternoon. My friend and I triple checked the date and time, we even ran to ask the Cathedral staff that is that we can get in with those tickets. And when we heard the staff answered, “Yes, I think so. You even have an English speaking guide to explain you everything about the Cathedral.”, we almost wanted to cry. We were SO happy that we could get in to see this masterpiece after this silly incident.

Sagrada Família. The rest to be finished by 2026.

Aren’t those stunning? We were amazed.

After calming ourselves down, we went back to the Mercat de la Boqueria for lunch. We queued at the El Quim and that was one of the best decisions we’ve made in the trip. We ordered their house special: fried eggs with baby squids, razor calms and slow-cooked beef plus two glasses of wine. All of them were really delicious and fresh. If you were there, this is the tapas bar that you could not miss!

And that’s it, with all those silly incidents, we back to Hong Kong with a joyful soul (and a tiring body lol). Thank you our heavenly Father for all the amazing provisions and arrangements during the trip. We couldn’t be more thankful for that!

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dhunt1s-blog · 6 years ago

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To my almost one year old

It’s such a cliché “motherly” thing to say “where has the time gone”, but here I am repeating in my mind over and over “wow, where has the time gone??”. Time has passed so quickly and you’re already getting close to that 1 year mark. It’s like someone snapped their fingers and here we are. RECAP: (To the best day of my entire life and the beginning of my entire best life) On April 8th at 8:30pm, I started having lower back pains. Zach suggested I time them and sure enough they were within the 5-8 minute mark. They weren’t consistent ans I was unsure if this was really “it” or not so we decided to stay home until things got a little more painful. Fast forward a bit (12:00am) and your daddy and I are pacing back and forth, loading our bags up, and making phone calls. With every contraction I hit my knees unable to speak or breathe. However, I managed to punch the floor or whatever I could reach many many times! This was it. This was definitely it. I was in back labor. WOW! This is it???!!! I don’t even know how fast Zach was driving on the way to cape. I’m not even sure exactly what time we left. I do know that we arrived around 1:30am. The ride there I remember having contractions 4 minutes apart (still timing) and being so amazed that I was totally fine and unphased in that time between! As soon as they’d leave, I was totally in zero pain. Then here it comes again. I was literally talking to my contractions “please stop please stop. God I can’t take this.” And BAM. I’m fine again. I guess I thought I’d be in consistent pain. Btw-You were STILL kicking! We arrive at the hospital and I’m brought up to labor and delivery in a wheelchair. The nurse said I was dilated to 3 and if I didn’t progress in an hour I’d be sent home. I’ll spare the words that flew out of my mouth, but you get the idea. An hour went by and, thank God, I progressed to a 4 and was 100% effaced. Good thing because I was NOT leaving the premices. By 6 centimeters I couldn’t handle the pain anymore and was screaming for an epi. Your daddy was amazing support through all of this. He, of course, never left my side. My water broke around 4:30 at 7cm. At 6:00 she said I was 10cm and ready to push. I was terrified. Shaking. But it was time to finally meet this tiny human being that I had waited for for a long 9 months. I was ready. I remember being so thirsty and my mouth was so dry that I couldn’t even lick my lips. Why do I vividly remember this? I don’t know but it was miserable. The pushing started and time actually went by quickly. I remember my last push. Let me tell you, that epidural did NOT diminish that pain. But when they placed you on my chest at 6:46am on April 9th, 2018 and I heard your first cry, I wasn’t aware of anything else around me but you. HE’S HERE: “Wow. You’re mine. I’m a mom and you’re my baby. This is so crazy. You are so beautiful. So tiny.” It was the best and most out of body experience I had ever had in my entire life. From that day forward, my life changed for the better and I experienced a love that I didn’t know existed. My 7 pound 1 ounce baby boy. You became my entire world. Now I’m like how... How did an entire year flash before our eyes in an instant? We brought you home, you rolled over for the first time, then started crawling, and now you’re this toddler walking all over the house bumping your head almost DAILY (Baby proofing is never ending). This past year has been scary, absolutely crazy at times, and I’d be lying if I said it was all rainbows and sunshine because it has been rough. So, so rough. But the great thing about parenting is that when you think you can’t move forward and you feel like giving up (often occurrence here), this precious life that you created looks up at you and you’re reminded of why you are doing this. You’re constantly reminded that THIS is what life is really all about. And it AMAZING, no matter how hard it can get at times. Right now, you’re sitting next to me in bed and, instead of sleeping, you’re throwing a fit. It drives me insane, but I try to remember that these days will fly by. Just like they have. You used to sleep on my chest but one day you stopped. You used to let me hold you anytime without a fight but now you’re on the go. I’ll hold on to even these trying moments, because one day you, my baby, won’t be a baby anymore. I could write a novel, but I will spare that and leave you with this. This past year was the most amazing year of our lives and I hope it was amazing for you too. Your daddy and I haven’t been, and will never be, perfect parents but rest assured that you have 2 parents who will do any and everything in our power to give you the best life imaginable. We see so much potential in you already. Your already so intelligent and very observant. You are SO goofy and laughing is a daily occurrence in this house because of you. You have no idea the joy that you have brought to our lives. We love you more than you could ever imagine, and I’m so thankful God placed you here to be ours. Our cup forever runneth over. Love, Mom and Dad

#1 year old #baby #mom

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island-dreams-and-sighs · 7 years ago

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let me tell you about this date i went on.

this post is long overdue, and i wish i'd written it sooner to when the date happened. it's been a few months now, so i've forgotten every bitty detail that i might’ve wanted to savor by keeping it in a blog post, but maybe it's for the best. now it'll be whittled down to the main pieces, the important ones, the ones i thought were worth remembering and writing down. (edit: it's still long as hell, and there's plenty more i could add, but likely no one is going to read it so it's just for myself anyway.)

april 25. the perfect date.

the tuesday before i left alabama (so, 3 days prior, because i left that friday) a boy invited me to go on a hike. we had met through an unnamed anonymous social media forum; he and i had chatted a few times here and there ever since december or january, and we had each other on snapchat, but we'd never met. we’d talked about meeting a couple times but nothing ever seemed to work out. well, finally he asked if i wanted to go hike by this lake i'd seen on his snap story, so i said sure, i'd love to, since it’d looked so gorgeous on his snap story.

it was my last day of work, and i was scheduled until 5:30, but we had said we'd meet at 6 so i asked the lead if i could leave a little early (being the last week before finals, our store was pretty dead other than people studying, so my lead allowed it!). i booked it back to my apartment, took a quick shower, slapped on some makeup (did a pretty good job for 15 minutes, if i do say so myself) and got dressed. i didn't do anything with my hair, but that didn't matter anyway; he came to pick me up in his jeep, and the top was down, so my hair never had a fighting chance. (he'd asked me beforehand if having the top, and i think the doors, of the jeep off was okay, and i was like yes sure!! but i wasn't so sure. however, i'd come this far, i wasn't about to back down from anything that might scare me.)

he got lost at my complex, so we had a laugh trying to find each other, but then i got into his jeep and we formally introduced ourselves. he drove us to his parents' house to pick up his dog, where i met his other dog and his mom. he warned me that his pup wasn't a big fan of people and that she might bark or growl, but she did neither when i met her. obviously, i felt incredibly honored because one of the best feelings in the world is when a dog who normally doesn’t like people likes you :D

after picking up his dog, he drove us to the lake. despite the lack of top/doors, we ended up being able to hear each other reasonably well, and we listened to music (he has amazing taste, like carly rae jepsen among other fantastic groups, and i think he liked my song choices as well; another feeling comparable to the dog feeling). when we got to the lake, we hiked a little bit, just chatting, until we got to a sign that said "danger: no trespassing" but "no" had been graffitied over. so, naturally, he took me past it and we sat on a large edifice overlooking a dam. we sat there talking for maybe an hour and a half, perhaps longer, only leaving when we realized the sun had set and it was quickly getting dark. i pet his dog the whole time; he had said she was scared of strangers, but i feel like she sensed my nervousness and thought i needed something to calm myself. on our way back to the jeep we both had our flashlights on our phones out, and his dog came running back to us through the dark and we both freaked out a bit, and then he caught a frog and i held it the rest of the way back to the car. he let me and his dog into the car, and then a security patrolman came around to tell us to leave, which we were doing anyway.

the entire time was so great, and i didn't want it to end, but he drove back to his parents’ house to drop off his dog, and then he dropped me off as well. once he got home, he messaged me saying he had wanted to ask if i wanted to grab food or something, but he had a class project due the next day and he assumed i would be busy with packing. however, i immediately said i would loooove to go and get food, but he needed to finish his project. (just because i’d taken the semester off and was leaving before finals week didn’t mean i was about to allow my friends, however new, to slack off for the sake of spending time with me.)

an hour later, he was done, and he came back to pick me up around midnight for some food. c:

we went to this place called cookout, a little burger place with good food and good prices. he’d never been before, and he seemed to like it other than me suggesting a cajun chicken burger because spicy’s not his thing. we ended up sitting in the restaurant talking until 2:30am, and since they closed around 3, we wanted to leave before they had a chance to kick us out. he drove me back, but we weren't done talking, so he came into my apartment.

we talked and played chess until 4:30am, and he asked if he could crash since it was pretty late and he didn't want to drive back. i said sure, but i'm not a one-night-stand kind of person, so i gave him a pillow and a blanket and let him sleep on the couch. the next morning, i woke up around 11 and showered and got dressed before he woke around noon.

(i told myself i wouldn't put this in the post, but honestly it warrants mentioning: i caught a glimpse of him before he woke up, and he was lying shirtless on my couch, just half-covered by the blanket, his chest touched gently by the sun coming in through the window. i might've sworn apollo himself was sleeping in my living room if i didn't know better. my breath caught in my throat a bit, but i didn't want to invade his privacy, so i didn't stare.)

when he woke up, we talked a bit before he headed out. he said he was going to miss me, and i echoed the sentiment. we hugged, which was nice.

i wish i'd kissed him, but the timing never seemed right. i also wish i'd stayed in alabama. but again, the timing wasn't right. we still keep in contact, pretty much daily, and we've got a few things planned for if and when i visit.

still, it was a nice night. absolutely, completely unforgettable. i'm not sure anything will come of us... it's a little too soon to tell, i think. we flirt, and i definitely have a crush on him, but the distance wouldn't be fair to either of us even if i knew with certainty he liked me back.

if nothing else, i'll have a fond memory of that night, along with a new friendship, and i wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

#personal #dates #mine

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tricraftbeer · 7 years ago

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The weekend I’d been looking forward to/dreading since January has come and gone, and now my eyes are open and I’m ready to move on to the rest of the season. I started exercising in January, after having Gloria in late October, and started training with a plan and coach in February. I raced the Desert Tri Olympic distance in March, and figured May 13 was enough time to feel ready for my first IM 70.3 race in one year and 7 months. But, as the race approached, I realized that I would never actually feel ready. I felt like I was racing for the first time ever. The logistics of getting to the race with all my crap, plus all the crap needed for a 6 month old baby was daunting. And the reality of racing with my current level of training was daunting, too, mostly because I just didn’t know what would happen and how it would feel. But I really don’t want to forget any part of the weekend, since it was such a milestone for me, so I’m going to try to write it all down. The goals were to just pop the cherry and get back into racing, get new bike power numbers, and see where my fitness currently is. Also, have fun and enjoy the short trip with the fam.

This is exhausting!

We started the drive up to Santa Rosa at 5am Friday morning, right after Gloria woke up. I fed her and we plopped her in the already-packed car, and crossed our fingers. She was a dream, and fell back asleep for 2.5 hours. So we got a good chunk of the drive done early. The rest of the 5 hour trip was slow-going, as we tried to time our stops just before naps, so I could feed her, change her, and get her back in the car to sleep. She was great and the day wasn’t too bad. We arrived in Santa Rosa at 1:30pm. I had a 2pm pro meeting. Luckily everything was close together downtown, so I could register, and get to the meeting on time.

Gloria’s first pro meeting!

After that, I had under an hour to drop off my bike at the TriBike Transport shuttle to T1. The race start at Lake Sonoma was a 45 minute drive, and we just couldn’t do that after keeping ourselves cooped up all day. After waiting in line and dropping my bike, I had about 10 minutes to get my run gear dropped off at T2, at the expo. So with all that done, I realized I had no time to exercise at all. So no pre-race ride, run, swim, etc. But we’d done enough walking and standing and sitting that my legs were sore! So we just got a pizza and beer and called it a day. Back at the hotel we put Gloria to bed and I locked myself in the bathroom with my race gear to get it ready without waking her. She was great, and slept through it all. I wish I could say the same! I got to bed at 8:15, for a 3am wake up call to get the 4am shuttle out to the lake. As is so typical for the night before a race, I barely slept at all. At least I’m more accostomed to operating on a lack of sleep now.

Race morning I locked myself in the bathroom again to eat breakfast and use the breast pump. It was too early to wake Gloria up to feed her, and I knew I’d have to pump twice before the race started to get through it without leaking :)

Gloria and Dad around 5:30am race morning :)

The hotel was only .5 miles from downtown where the shuttles and finish line were, so again, happy for that convenience. I got to the shuttles at 3:55am, and a few had already left full of people. Leave it to triathletes to be early for a 4am pickup! Uneventful shuttle ride, and arrival at the lake around 5am. I set up my gear in the freezing (40 degree) morning, and set off with my pump again. Once I was empty, it was time to walk to the lake. I ran into my buddy Christophe and we talked about expectations. I think I told him that I expected a solid, but unsurprising and unimpressive day. And, I was worried about the cold. I don’t handle cold well.

I got into the lake, which at 62 degrees felt warm compared to the air. The water was calm, since they rerouted the swim course into a protected area to guard against the gusty winds. We had a deep water start. I settled into a group of 4 immediately, and had a calm, relaxed swim. It certainly wasn’t fast, but I also was basically using it as a warm-up. I worked just hard enough to stay fairly warm, and stay right in our little pack. Exiting the water was when the trouble started. I had something in my right eye that was burning and blinding. And bare feet on the cold cement ramp, and around transition caused my feet to feel like swollen ice blocks. I lost the girls I swam with during this .5 mile jog. And then I lost them further as I farted around trying and failing to pulled on arm warmers and gloves. Frustrated, I finally just put on my helmet and left, after a 6 minute transition. Oooops.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr

Warning - this is the paragraph where I whine. I don’t want to come across as making excuses, because I don’t think I need to. I’m not upset about how I raced. I was just miserable and want to whine as a reminder to myself to never race again when the forecast is 40-45 degrees race morning!

I had made sure to synch and calibrate my power meter before the race, but of course it didn’t synch up when I started riding. Ooops again. I had wanted updated power numbers from this race, but that was not to be. It didn’t really matter since I couldn’t read my watch, or feel any part of my body. The intense, full-body convulsions started on the first, immediate downhill and continued until about the 45 mile mark on the bike course. I had a headache, sore neck, sore shoulders and ribs from the shivering, and my elbows bumped of my aerobars twice from bumps in the road I couldn’t avoid, since I could only see out of one eye. Most of my nutrition also fell of the bike in the first 10 miles. Thank goodness for aid stations! This was, by far, the most miserable I’d felt during a bike ride ever. And that was a bummer since I heard the course is absolutely gorgeous. And it should be a very fast course as well. This was the first time I can remember looking forward to the run, and lamenting the downhills. I rode my brakes so hard, not wanting to go any faster because it was so cold. Blah, blah, whine, blah, but that’s what I was feeling at the time. The lingering soreness in my head, neck and shoulders won’t let me forget it either! I’m hoping Champion System invents a full body fleece trisuit for races like this.

Here I am getting passed by someone who got gloves on. Sooo jealous!

Ok whine over. After a fairly slow time for the course, I was so happy to get into T2. Once on the run, I concentrated on placing my numb feet correctly, one in the front of the other, for 4 miles until I could feel them. Concentrating on just that, helped me keep a nice, even pace at a very sustainable effort. Time went by quickly, and I was happy to find I could stay steady without working too hard. The main goal was to just find out what I could do at this point in training. The run was great, on a mostly flat trail through woods. Lots of shade kept it very cool as well. The first loop was somewhere around 8-9 miles, with a shorter 5-6 mile second loop. I wasn’t paying enough attention to the mile markers to remember. Coming in for the second loop was amazing, as I was able to see Artie and Gloria. Tears actually came to my eyes, and helped clear out whatever was keeping me partially blind. So that was great too. I spent the second loop just feeling grateful to be out racing, grateful to Artie for coming on the trip and making my Mother’s Day weekend unforgettable, and grateful for my sweet little girl.

Artie claims Gloria was right behind him in the stroller at this point. Let’s hope he didn’t forget her at the hotel. Thank for cheering Artie!

For the first time ever, the run finish came around before I knew it. I’d run a solid (for me) 1:30:20, and finished in a (not fast) 4:42. But I honestly didn’t even look at those times until an hour or so later. I really didn’t care. I didn’t find out my finish place (15/23ish pros) until much later. Still haven’t looked it up myself actually. Artie just told me. This weekend wasn’t about that. My next race certainly will be. But, after the nerves and doubts went away, this weekend was a celebration of our new family and a celebration of doing what I love again. So, I obviously won! Just don’t tell Holly, who actually won by like 30 minutes. And, no-one from the race will confirm, but I’m pretty sure I won the breastfeeding moms division outright.

The race had a free beer tent from Lagunitas at the finish, so that is obviously where we headed as soon as I ate and pumped again. We picnicked in the grass until it was time to go in search of more food and beer. I can’t think of a better way to spend the day before Mother’s Day!

Racewise, my goals of testing my current fitness and having fun were accomplished, other than the bike ride. My goal of new power numbers was not accomplished. I fear that may mean an FTP test is in my future...I also had no nutritional issues, so my improvised plan with aid station nutrition was no big deal. Good to know.

Big thanks to Skechers, Roka, Champion Systems, RIPLaces, Bonk Breaker, ISM, and Profile Design for sticking with me through the pregnancy and comeback.

Mother’s Day itself was another story. We got up with Gloria at 5am and left right away to aim for Monterrey for brunch. Instead, we got a flat tire outside of San Jose on the 101. Two tow trucks, four hours and four new tires later, we hit the road again at 11:30am. This epic journey didn’t conclude until 7:30pm, when we stumbled home. We had each had about 2 temper tantrums, I’d had two beers, Gloria had two naps, and Artie had a cold. What an end to an otherwise perfect weekend!

Yay!

Cheer squad

Yum!

Baby’s third beer

#ironman #ironmom #racing #triathlon #skechersGO #bonkbreaker #champsys #roka #findfaster #profiledesign #ISM

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supertam87 · 8 years ago

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Ok guys, I think I can finally wrap my brain around this enough to give a coherent recap. I'm a processor, so I had to live it in the moment, and now that I'm on the plane leaving the experience behind, hopefully I can make sense of it. I posted pictures in order of event. Sorry I can't write in between each pic, but I'm on my iPhone and it won't let me add pics as I go. Anyway, to get on with it... I started my epic adventure with a 4 hour layover in San Francisco which isn't as bad as it might seem, because I've been married for 25 years and have 4 kids and rarely get to be alone! Let the adventure begin. I roomed with the amazing @sileas84 who is 100% responsible for me attending this con. She employed shameless peer pressure and I crumpled like a card tower in the hands of a toddler. I have no regrets. We arrived at the con at 6:30 am and immediately met up with a group of awesome women (in picture two - this is @myguiltyolpleasure's pic btw). We were determined to be up close. FIVE HOURS OF WAITING later, we sat on row 5 center and I was thrilled. I was really hoping for a good view. And boy did I get one! Sam twirled in that kilt and I didn't even try to look, his knickers presented themselves to me! Simple black boxer-briefs - always a classy choice 😂. For most of the panel I could see right up his thigh just because of the way he was sitting in relation to where I was sitting. It's not that I looked, it's just that it was thigh porn and I totally looked. At one point we were directed to take a selfie, so we did. (Pic 3) If there's one thing I can tell you about this particular con, it's that it was all about obedience. I have never been yelled at by adult strangers so many times in one day since I was a pre-teen. If you stepped out of line, and I mean that literally and figuratively, you heard about it. I won't talk about the panel because all y'all have seen it. It was fun, they were adorable and I love them. The hour flew by and I could have sat there and listened to them for the rest of the day. Sam's unintentional joke about reading about stuff on Tumblr cracked me up, mostly because he was mortified and blushed. After the panel the autograph session filled up immediately, so we went to get lunch. Ladies, I got up at 4:30am. It was 12:30. I was starving, parched, desperate to pee - cons are not for the weaklings of the herd. That Diet Coke was on par with meeting Sam. I'm just sayin'. Lunch was a tiny little respite in a sea of hurry up and wait. Following our brief lunch we did our photo ops. You need to understand, those two photos took 4 hours. Compare the photo with only Sam vs the photo with both and look at Sam's eyes. By the time we got to group photos, he was literally exhausted, yet he treated us exactly the same both times (as did Cait) - warm and welcoming, said hello, eye contact, a little squeeze of the hand on the shoulder (ded. I am ded) They were ultimately respectful of the fans and the time and money we put into this. Said thanks and goodbye as we left. I am so impressed with both their professionalism and their basic humanity. These are quality people. The solo photo op is where I had my hair/armpit incident. We walked up and Sam just throws his arms open to engulf you in his superior humanity. As he was putting his arm around me (did I REALLY just type that!) he caught my very long hair with his arm and I ended up being trapped right up against him with my head sort of forced to lay against his arm. I. Am. Not. Complaining. I'm stunned that I had the presence of mind to smile. All I could think of was that I was pressed up against Sam so tight that I could feel how soft the leather of his jacket was. I didn't even notice that he had changed from kilt to jeans until later. My first thought about Caitriona when she entered the panel stage is that no picture or video can ever prepare you for how tall and thin she really is. And how gorgeous and graceful she is. And how charming and funny and silly and well spoken and sincere and kind. Ok, I'll stop. Just look up all the positive adjectives. Next we went to the autograph line. I was there when the lights went out and Caitriona joked about that not being the way to get to Sam and also when he was jokey about being bored because he had no one at his station so he teased her about taking too long and went over to harass her at her table. They were funny and relaxed and enjoying themselves and it was great to see the spontaneous interaction. Every event was very rushed, but they again did their best to say hello, make eye contact, say a little something to you, and thank you for coming. I had them sign my original Outlander book that was given to me by a friend about twelve years ago, who said, "You might like this." Famous last words. As you can see, it's lived a good life. I've lent it out many times. I said at dinner last night that I was too nervous and hadn't really say anything to Caitriona, until I literally went oh my gosh! I did say something to Cait. I had totally blocked it in my nervous state. She commented on how well loved my book was, and I said 'yes, it's been read many times by many people and it opens right to the wedding scene' and then I proved it, by opening it right to that scene. So, yep. I did that. I blushed so hard my eyeballs turned red when I remembered that. Sam was equally adorable, but I just had 'do not say that to sam' on repeat so then I didn't really know what to say to him. He was so sweet. His handler was rushing him a little bit and he sort of looked at him and then apologized to me for being rushed along. He looked me right in the eyes. He winked at me and smiled. Ladies, the smolder is real. I was POSITIVE I was immune to the Sam effect and I am NOT. I literally went weak at the knees. My stomach churned. I started shaking. I giggled. I could not think. Well, I could. But the only thing I could think was 'Sam. Sam winked at me. Sam's eyes are so blue. Sam is so beautiful. Sam. Sam winked at me.' My brain sort of jammed. After dinner a huge group (like 17) of us went to dinner. It was awesome. It was amazing. These ladies are incredible. Our fandom is incredible. Last night we went to a smaller dinner and stayed for hours. I can't tell you how hard we laughed. It was so much fun. I seriously love this place for so much more than Tumblr. We are such a diverse group. Different cultures, different educational and socio-economic backgrounds, different personal and relationship statuses, and most importantly, different ages. We have so much to teach each other and so much to learn, and as a group, we are so generous with our time, talents, resources, emotional support and wisdom. I treasure this. I am so grateful I went. I loved meeting Sam and Caitriona. It was great fun. Meeting dear friends who will remain forever was life changing. I look forward to doing this again one day and meeting even more of you. Sorry I bombarded you with a DG length post, but thanks for making it through. All I can finish with is if you didn't leave with a Totes McGoat tote, then you didn't con right!!

#eccc2017 #outlander #sam heughan #Caitriona Balfe #personal

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salmenzo · 4 years ago

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Weekly Update - Monday, March 1, 2021

Commitment - Conviction - Consideration

“Genius is eternal patience.”

Michelangelo

Good Morning,

I hope that everyone enjoyed the rainy weekend. I am hopeful that the snow is behind us and that warmer weather will soon be the norm. We had a taste of it this past week. I was unable to get outside, but I heard it was beginning to feel like spring.

I do want to remind everyone that we need to continue to wear masks at all times. We know mask fatigue has set in, but we cannot let our guards down now. Please wear them in our schools and in your lives outside of school. Even though more people have been vaccinated in our state, it does not mean that there is less of a presence of the virus in our communities. Please remain vigilant for your sake and that of those in your families and our school communities.

Vaccination Update

I imagine many of you got up very early this morning to try to schedule a vaccine appointment. Please let us know if you were able to do so. We will remove you from our list as we continue to work to accommodate the requests of all staff. As I shared in the email yesterday, we will be vaccinating 200 people this week. Those individuals will be contacted tomorrow morning with their time slot. They will have until Wednesday at 10 am to accept their appointment. If they do not, we will move on to another name of the list.

We know that everyone wants to be vaccinated as soon as possible. We are working to try to find other resources to expedite the process. As I shared yesterday, it was very disappointing to not receive any additional allocation specifically for educators this week. This confused me since the Governor made such a bold adjustment to his initial vaccination plan to move educators up on the list. One would have assumed that would mean requests for additional vaccine would have been accommodated on some level without having to take doses away from the general public. But this obviously was not the case.

Again, I know you will hear of towns that are planning to vaccinate their entire staff in a matter of a week's time. I cannot speak to how that is being achieved. I can, however, assure you that the Wallingford Health Department has done and is doing everything they can to accommodate our needs as quickly as possible. I will keep you updated on any new developments moving forward. Like other districts, we were prepared to announce full distance learning days to facilitate the vaccination of our entire or a significant portion of the staff at once. Unfortunately, at this time, that is on hold while we await the necessary quantity to do so.

With all this stated, that is why we approached this process the way we did. You have all options open to you. You can go to the open market or wait for our clinics. As I shared before, we wanted to approach it in this manner to provide you with the greatest alternatives.

We will get through this. The Governor has committed to providing the first dose to all educators by March 31. Today is only day one. I am hopeful this timeline will be met for all of us in an equitable manner.

Instructional Committee Meeting

Tonight, there is an Instructional Committee meeting at 6:30 pm. Here is the link to the agenda and the YouTube information. A variety of policies will be discussed. The Board also plans to reopen its conversation regarding the facility study.

Electric Buses

You may have read that the district is working with Durham School Services to write a grant to fund electric school buses. The key to this becoming a reality for the district is that we cannot take on any of the expense for these buses. Durham is aware of this and is working to make this a reality for our community. I will keep everyone posted as we learn more.

Center for Innovation and Design

Work continues on the Center for Innovation and Design at Mary G. Fritz Elementary School. We have received several new donations and a grant to help complete the next phase of work. We would like to thank the PTOs from Mary G. Fritz, Highland, Parker Farms, and Cook Hill for their donations. Also, our new corporate sponsor, allnex, and a second donation from the Quinnipiac Chamber of Commerce. We cannot wait to have students return to the center. It is an amazing resource for the entire community.

Commitment - Conviction - Consideration

Here are this week’s shout outs. Thanks again for your continued hard work during these challenging times. Normalcy is approaching. We all need to hang in and stay the course.

I wanted to take a moment to highlight Stephanie Niezgorski during this difficult time. She is an educator that goes above and beyond to meet the needs of her students both "in person" and "virtually." She invests so much time in planning for targeted explicit instruction and has moved a second grade student forward in his reading from a 1G to 2B in IRLA! This growth has also been seen through results of PAST, CORE Phonics, STAR Early LIteracy, and STAR Reading. He is moving from a tier 3 back to tier 2 and is feeling very confident and successful! Awesome success!

I also wanted to highlight another instance where her intuition and empathy for the wellbeing of our students and families is amazing. Stephanie was working in a virtual lesson and was able to see that something was very wrong in the environment and asked the child and parent if they were OK. This opened the door and a parent disclosed a crisis whereas basic needs, safety, and security were not being met. The parent was amazed that the reading interventionist noticed this in her child's face and is so grateful that she went above and beyond. We have been able to connect the family to community resources and hopefully they are on the road to a better place. We are so lucky to have her in Wallingford Public Schools... a true professional!

I want to take this opportunity to highlight one of our amazing teachers this year. Miss Wolfrum has been an inspirational and motivating teacher for our son. She exudes a passion and love of learning that is evident to all her students and often teaches without students knowing she is developing their skills or pushing them to reach farther. However, the most amazing thing for us as parents is to watch her embrace our son's accommodations allowing him to access the curriculum. When the assistive technology team reviewed accommodations, she not only understood how important it was for our son to receive them but saw value in implementing one accommodation as a best practice for her entire class. Her approach to teaching each student and using best practices in the classroom for all students has made our son feel like he's learning like every other student. That's true inclusion and we are very grateful for her efforts. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to share our experience.

Mrs. Spagnola,

I saw how patient you were with all of your students on the snow days. You are a saint and please know we appreciate everything you do for our son. He is so much more confident in everything he does including reading! He is so proud to share his schoolwork and what he learns each day. I always told my husband it only takes 1 exceptional teacher to change how a child feels about school and now he gets it. Thank you for being that teacher for our wonderful (sometimes difficult ) boy.

Since my district decided on traditional snow days this year, I was home doing chores yesterday while Stephen did his virtual school snow day. I overheard some of his English class with Ms. Sagnella. I was impressed by her efforts to keep students engaged with the double challenge of a virtual format and their association of snow with getting a day off. In this 8:30am class, she engaged her students through her caring demeanor, with a gentleness in her voice that helped welcome them to the day. She also drew them in to her lesson on rhetoric by having them read President George W. Bush's speech on 9/11 to address a frightened and confused nation. Though, as she acknowledged, these students weren't even born yet (!! making me feel old right now), they all knew and understood how powerful this moment was in the lives of their parents and their country. From what I could hear as I was working in the other room, the students were extremely involved in the discussion. Ms. Sagnella took a challenging situation and turned it into a warm, caring discussion that involved all the students and created a sense of community despite the physical distance.

I have been especially impressed with Ms. Sagnella this year because I know that she was not originally planning to be a classroom teacher this year, but instead if I remember correctly, a library media specialist at Lyman? Due to Covid, she switched schools and roles. She rose to the challenge, dusted off her metaphorical binder of teaching strategies from past years, and made the best of this situation. She really shows that she cares about her students, which is especially important this year. I am very thankful that Stephen has had her as a teacher this year.

I wanted to take a moment to send a quick note. I can’t thank Mrs. Harris enough last year or Mrs. Ricci and Ms. Kelley enough this year for the AMAZING job they are doing with our son. Last year when my husband and I made the then difficult decision to keep him back in first grade I wasn’t sure how this year would go but he has come so far and I know WE wouldn’t have been able to succeed without their love, support and dedication. I’m sure you know what wonderful teachers they are (well in Ms. Kelley’s case will be soon) and they are an essential part of why people love MYB so much. I’m sure they’ve been recognized in the past but in a world where so much negative is always brought to attention I want to make sure that the positivity out shines it. Thank you for having staff that gives their all and more to kids.

Make it a great week!

Sal

Dr. Salvatore F. Menzo

Superintendent

Email - [email protected]

Twitter - @SalMenzo

Wallingford Public School District

Wallingford Public School System Mission

To inspire through innovative and engaging experiences that lead all learners to pursue and discover their personal best.

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