#had a whole convo where she was like “but what about male suicide?” every time i tried to talk about toxic and abusive men

[pink-evilette]

we need to talk about the psychological damage of being a girl with a mother who hates herself to the point of internalised misogyny

[aelinbitch-archive]

top 5 moments of all time for miss galathynius bc i'm a wildcard like that 🥴

SORRY I NEVER ANSWERED THIS i got super busy for finals ok so. i simply cannaught pick 5 so i’m going to wax poetic for 200 bullet points (but top 5 moments if i HAD to choose are bolded)

the whole scene where she beats rolfe in a (short, lmao) fight and makes him sign the documents saying he won’t sell more slaves in tab and she reveals she memorized his signature and stole his ring

all of the assassin and the healer. being just totally pissed off and drinking all the time and looking for a fight and then getting her shit together and teaching yrene to defend herself

racing with ansel on asterion horses through the desert and feeling free in the first time in forever... i’m Emotional

the party in tab

putting the spider silk in sam’s suit and saving his life and not telling him... all the samlaena scenes in general tbh

first scene in tog when she mouths off to everyone... that was the first thing i read of her and i fell in love immediately 

meeting nehemia and speaking eyllwe with her so chaol can’t understand them. especially the scene where she turns around “sneers” at dorian nvsnfkdl i love that wording 

telling dorian outright that she doesn’t exist for his entertainment

beating grave in the fight obviously 

wearing the red dress in tog and telling archer she’s trying to kill him instead of fuck him and just being so unimpressed with him overall

maiming chaol’s face and trying to kill him after he gets nehemia k*lled 

torturing grave. we love revenge in this house

killing baba yellowlegs

using wyrdmarks to do necromancy... honestly every time she uses wyrdmarks. i love witchy!aelin

killing archer

saying fuck it and drinking on the rooftops in hof

“because i am lost and i do not know the way” even though it K I L L S me

when she first shifts into her fae body and runs with rowan through the forest + it’s so joyful

setting a trap for the skinwalkers

scene where she burns out and rowan sees her scars and then she sleeps in his bed... the Tenderness of it all.......

sneaking out in the middle of the night to train 

the final battle at mistward......... as immy put it “aelin, using the very magic that frightened her and caused her to be shunned by people she loved to protect mistward whilst simultaneously putting herself at the mercy of things she knew would kill her because she was actively suicidal but wanted to go out helping those who had taken her in >>> anything any male tog character has ever done or has the capacity to do”

rowan taking the blood oath to her after she threatens to burn maeve’s city

ALL OF QUEEN OF SHADOWS LITERALLY FUCKING ALL OF IT THERE IS NO SCENE THAT IS NOT ON THIS LIST BUT ESPECIALLY:

meeting with ar*bynn in the vaults and then wrecking the place

meeting nesryn for the first time

absolutely going off on chaol the first time they see each other again, and bitching him out again on the rooftop of her appt

reconciling with lysandra and deciding to get sweet sweet revenge with her

freeing aedion

manipulating lorcan into killing the wyrdhounds for her

fight at the vaults

THE SCENE AT DINNER WITH AR*BYNN WHEN SHE’S LIKE “WELL IF YOU’RE CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY YOU COULD ALWAYS SELL THE HOUSE OR STOP USING LYSANDRA’S SERVICES” LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING!!!!! THE O N L Y BENEFIT OF A TOG TV SHOW (BESIDES TO CORRECT THE SHITTY ELEMENTS OF THE SERIES WHICH IT INEVITABLY WON’T DO) WOULD BE THE ABILITY FOR ME TO TAKE THAT SCENE AND PUT THE ‘TURN DOWN FOR WHAT’ BEAT DROP OVER IT 

(and then their ensuing discussion in the living room. she plays him so flawlessly)

standing on the roof in the rain while arobynn dies being like “i just feel empty” :((((( baby

being an absolute goofball in the sin eater’s temple

fight with manon at the temple of temis hellooooooo

tricking lorcan into taking the fake amulet

oath to darrow at the beginning of eos as beautifully depicted by this edit (i HAVE to plug zoe as aelin i HAVE to)

taking back whatever that place is called for rolfe... turning all those soldiers to ash

convo with her ancestor’s ghost (brannon?) where she’s literally canonically like “well i’m suffering but at least i’m hot”

appearing in rolfe’s office and Ending His Whole Career... that whole part in skull’s bay where she manipulates him into helping her 

she’s not technically in this scene but “here’s to hoping you find more creative terms than the word “bitch” to call me when you find this. with all my love, aag” LMFAOOOO

reuniting with ansel holy fuckkkkkkkkk and just the way all her plans come together. schemey babie

every interaction with fenrys in that book too

the “you do not yield” scene where she punches the shit out of the iron coffin

telling cairn his dick was small after he tortured her for months

the scene where she escapes and its from lorcan’s pov

asking people to VOTE on when her fucking death should occur even though it depressed me that it came to that

SENDING THE GODS TO HELL.... I FUCKING LOVE “She was no lamb to slaughter. No sacrifice on the altar of the greater good. And she was not done yet... Aelin smiled and bowed. Far out, striding over the hills, the gods paused. Aelin’s smile turned into a grin. Wicked and raging… She had been a slave and a pawn once before. She would never be so again. Not for them. Never for them.” LIKE HELLO??????? AELIN GODKILLER INDEED

walking with all the women through orynth after the battle

practicing with rowan before her coronation bc she was nervous.... Shes Baby

and like 600 other things that i probably forgot!! basically I Am Aelin’s Whore 

[themargotrob-archive]

after parties, after thoughts || robstan

who: margot, sebastian, a poor uber driver when/where: after party of avengers: endgame triggers: light nsfw

Seb: The hype of Endgame was absolutely unreal. Sebastian thought infinity war was big, but this was bigger than he even imagined. Part of him couldn’t even believe it. With cameras and interviewers in his face all night long, when he heard about the crew after party his blue eyes lit up. He figured he could go there first to get away a little before heading to the main after party. When he walked in, the crew was already going in and to his surprise he saw an all to familiar blonde. “Add one more shot to that” he said coming up behind her. “Didn’t think I’d be seeing you here” he told her with a smile.

Margot: She'd just tossed back her next shot when she heard Sebastian's voice and it made her choke on the mouthful. Quickly covering her mouth to try and recover from her coughing fit, Margot turned her head to look at the man, "Wh--?" she asked, finally managing to get her breath back properly, "Likewise... I thought this was crew. Aren't you supposed to be at the big party?"

Seb: The male actor grinned at her reaction, shaking his head slightly. “Ah I just needed a little break from everyone in my face. I’m gonna head to that party after. Use this as a pregame, you know?” He told her, giving her one of his charming winks before ordering a round of shots of his own for the entire bar. “You’re drinking tequila, yeah?” He said, handing her a shot as he licked his lips instinctively. Tilting his head back, seb downed the shot before locking his gaze with the actress. “So how’ve you been?” He asked stupidly, trying to make small talk. He just didn’t want her to leave right away.

Margot: Her heart raced a little anxiously as Sebastian grinned down at her, nodding as if she should have figured she'd run into him sooner or later. Of course he wasn't on her 'must see' list, but they'd started to slowly work through their issues to be more friendly with one another. It was a hard road, but they'd get there, she was sure. Her mouth opened to reply, but she clearly didn't need to as he handed her a shot anyway. Following suit, the blonde tossed back the shot and shuddered a little, clearing her throat once more and grabbing her actual drink to take another sip. A small chuckle escaped her at the rather lame attempt at small talk, "I've been busy -- you have too, yeah? This whole Marvel thing... and life in general?"

Seb: “Yeah. Busy with life in general is one way to put it” He said with a shrug of his shoulders as he thought back to all the random shit he had been going through as of late. Between the custody battle and his break up, this exact moment in time was nice for the man. Sebastian ordered himself a drink, soon sipping it not long after. “Did you ever get those things I signed, or?” He asked, still trying to keep the convo light. He just knew the second there was dead time she’d use it as an excuse to leave, and if seb was being honest, he loved seeing her.

Margot: The blonde didn't want to pry into his life, but with the news of Scarlett and he having a child, she couldn't help but feel awkward around him again. Of course it sucked for Sebastian and it was actually kind of cruel in Margot's mind that something like a child had been kept from him for so long, but even thinking about him being with her in the first place made her uncomfortable. Sebastian and his love life... she just couldn't seem to escape being involved in it, "Yeah," she replied with a nod, "I got them, thanks... I put together a hamper thing to send the winner--" She grabbed her phone out of her bra and opened up the gallery to show Sebastian the I, Tonya pack she'd created, "It'll be pretty fucking cool to win, I hope they like it."

Seb: The actor noted her expression and how uncomfortable she was getting. Not wanting to add more to that, or continue talking about what he was going through, he gladly didn’t touch on the subject again. He looked at the photo marg showed him, a smile pulling from the corners of his lips. “That’s pretty fucking cool actually. I definitely think they’d like it. It’s from you after all” he said with a nod. A moment of silence fell between them and seb shook his head. This small talk was failing and it had everything to do with the fact that they didn’t know how to act in front of each other. Feeling the booze in his system, seb cleared his throat and looked at margot. “Why is things like this between us? Why is it so hard?”

Margot: “Right?!” She asked, glad someone agreed with her that the package would be pretty dope, “Thank you! Mark seemed to think it was stupid but I think if they’re bidding on a Tonya pack, this is pretty cool, right?” She smiles genuinely for a moment before her face dropped and she tried to find something to say. Her mouth opened to speak but it seemed Sebastian had something else to say first. Her mouth shut quickly before letting out a breathy sigh, “Jesus Bas,” she hummed, having not used the nickname in so long it felt weird on her tongue, “Do we have to get into this...? Again?”

Seb: The second margot called him “Bas” seb felt his heart flutter. That right there was his cue to keep going. He hadn’t heard her call him that in so long, and honestly, he missed it so damn much. “Yeah. We do need to talk about this again. Because I can’t for the life of me figure out why it’s so difficult for you to just be my friend. I really can’t.” Seb said, shaking his head as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “You must really fucking hate me, huh?”

Margot: “Right here?” She asked, brows raising as she looked around the pub to make sure no one else’s eyes were on them, “Because this doesn’t seem like the best place to talk about this.” When he said that again he didn’t understand why she was struggling to be his friend, Margot felt her frustration rise, “What if I’d done what you did?” She asked, “What if you were so into me and I took you out for a nice dinner to tell you something only to tell you I was in love with someone else and was dumping you?” She countered, keeping her voice low, “And then when that imploded I only gave you the tiniest window to actually try something again before deciding — once again — to get with someone else?! How the hell would you feel, Sebastian?” She was fully facing him now, her cheeks red from frustration, “Would you be super keen to be friends again?”

Seb: As margot began to speak, seb just shook his head. He knew this was going to end up with them getting loud so before they did, he let his fingers intertwine with hers as he guided them out the bar to stand somewhere more secluded. “Margot, you’re shitting me, right?” He said once they were outside and she was done speaking. “You didn’t give me any fucking window! I literally went after you for fucking months before I got with someone else. You wouldn’t let me in!! You STILL don’t let me in” he said in a defeated tone. “How can I make any damn progress with you when you don’t even try to meet me I’m not even asking you to meet me half way. I just need at least a step in my direction”

Margot: She wanted to yank her hand away from his when he tugged her away from the crowd but seeing that he was taking them out of the eyes of strangers, she was somewhat thankful. Once they’d gotten outside, she took her hand away from his and ran it through her hair, “Even if it was months, I needed time to actually trust you again!” She countered in a hiss, “Did you think I’d be totally into trusting you again?” She had felt so blindsided and betrayed that she wasn’t sure she’d even be able to trust him again in the first place let alone so soon after everything, “Why would I let you in?” She asked, “I let you in and look what happened?! Why would I open myself up to that hurt again?” Her hands raised in defeat, asking, “Why is this so important to you? Go live your life with your girlfriend — let me step when I’m ready to.”

Seb: “I know I fucked up but you don’t even give me the chance to prove to you that you can trust me again!” He fired back before being taken off guard by her last remark. “Girlfriend? There is no girlfriend” he said shaking his head before biting down on his lower lip and looking out towards the empty road. “I swear you don’t give me the chance to prove anything to you. Yeah, I made a mistake, but do you know how much I fucking beat myself up for hurting you every fucking day when all I fucking want to do is this..” his voice faded off as he wrapped his muscular arms around her tiny waist, his lips mere centimeters away from her. “I think about you all the fucking time”

Margot: “Yeah Girlfriend — or is she your fian—“ Margot had started to day ‘fiancé’ before even hearing the rest of Sebastian’s comments. They’d broken up? When had that happened? Was this why he’d been so insistent on them being friends again when they’d been texting? Margot felt a rush of heart flow through her as he pulled her close and her hands quickly reached out to rest on his chest, ready to push him away whenever she felt she needed to, “You shouldn’t be thinking of me at all,” she replied unable to stop her hands from shaking, “I— fuck Bas, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing...”

Seb: The Romanian shook his head when he heard the start of fiance come out of her mouth. Luckily she stopped herself from saying, avoiding any further hurt from that broken relationship. Sebastian licked his lips as his blue eyes locked with hers. “Do whatever you want to do. What do you want?” He asked, making sure not to pull away, but he didn’t want to do anything that made her uncomfortable.

Margot: When he insisted she do whatever she wanted, Margot stopped, having no idea what she actually wanted to do. Her eyes darted deon to his lips as he licked them before she groaned in soft frustration and pressed her forehead into his collar, “You make it so damn hard to think...” she hummed, one of her hands moving up his chest to wrap around his neck in a tight hug.

Seb: As he felt her forehead sink into the crook of his neck, he pulled her into him, closing the gap between them as he gently kissed the top of her head. Her scent was bringing him back to 2 years ago, when everything for them felt... right. "So don't think. Show me" He said with a grin

Margot: She could hear the smile in his tone and she wanted to be mad at him still but she meant what she said. He was making it so hard to think straight. It felt so good to be held by him again and the alcohol already flowing through her was keeping her from up and leaving. Pulling back ever so slightly, she peered up at him and ran her hand through his hair before leaning up and pressing a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, “Fuck...” she whispered in frustration, annoyed at herself for being right back in that position with him where all she wanted to do was kiss him.

Seb: As the male actor felt the female pull back, his heart sank, thinking she was about to turn around and go. But then she placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth and he couldn't help but smile at the beautiful Australian. "That's all I get?" He said, slowly raising his hands to cup her face. He began to place little kisses on her cheeks and forehead. "This one if for how I fucked up the night we broke up, this one is for making you feel like shit, this one is for not waiting longer for you..." He said before each kiss, stopping before kissing her lips. "And this is for all our missed time" He said softly, bringing his lips to hers for a deep kiss, his hands running down the side of her body

Margot: Who was this Sebastian? Where had he come from? Margot felt her heart race with anticipation as he began to press kisses to her skin, finding herself so easily taken back to when they had first dated; when things were sweet and soft between them. Now, they were jagged and torn — a feeling she was somehow trying to hold on to. Of course she knew the kiss on the lips was coming but it didn’t take away from the breathlessness she felt as he brought her close and kissed her properly. It only took a moment but Margot responded in kind to the kiss, her hand around his neck tightening its grip.

Seb: The male actor savored this moment, not wanting to rush it in the slightest. It had been 2 years since he was able to kiss this woman again, and he'd be damned if he let it go by quickly. Sebastian let his tongue part her lips to find hers, finally tasting her again, the sensation driving him wild. He let his hands gently cup her ass as he continued to kiss her deeply only breaking the kiss to breathe. "Fuck, I've missed you." He said, letting his forehead rest against hers

Margot: It felt so different and yet the kiss rang with nostalgia. Their first kiss had been during filming, on set and in front of cameras as they blocked out scenes but anything from there on she felt like an addict getting her fix. This kiss, the way his mouth moved so effortlessly with hers, was a fix she’d been missing for years. Of course there had been times where they could have been like this again, but she’d pulled back. Margot has chosen not to give in but now? Now she needed it. When he pulled back, Margot quickly reached up to wipe the corner of Sebastian’s mouth to get her lipstick off his lips, “Red Never was your colour.”

Seb: A smirk pulled from the corners of his lips as he felt Margot wipe away her lipstick from his lips. "Well, then maybe we should get your red lipstick on other parts of me so you can clean it up after" He said with a grin, biting down on his lower lip as his crystal blue eyes locked with hers. "Lets get out of here. Head back to my place. I'll get us an uber. What do you say?" He said, giving her a smile

Margot: Of course he would say something like that. Margot scoffed a small laugh and gently shoved him in the chest, “You’re so gross sometimes,” she chastised. The thought of going back to his place had definitely flashed across her mind as they’d kissed but for some reason she hadn’t expected him to actually invite her. It was too easy to agree, old feeling stirring through her but before her mind could catch up with her mouth, Margot was nodding her agreement, “Quietly,” she hummed, “So no one sees us.”

Seb: "As if the thought didn't run through your mind as well" He said with a devilish grin. At her request, Seb quickly requested for an Uber. Luckily it was a minute away and they didn't have to wait long. Opening the SUV's door, Seb made sure Margot was in and settled before he got in and closed the door behind him. "It's like a half an hour ride babe, I'm sorry" He said as he turned his body to face her. He gently ran his fingers through her blonde hair, pushing a few strands away from her face and behind her ears. "I've missed you so much."

Margot: “It hadn’t,” she insisted, though she was clearly amused by his comments. It wasn’t until they were in the back of the tinted SUV that Margot realised Sebastian was actually supposed to be at another party, “Your costars...” she hummed gently, “Are they gonna be pissed you bailed on them?” When he pushed her hair behind her ear for her, Margot felt her lips curl up into a soft smile, “You always know the right things to say.”

Seb: "Nah, they won't be pissed. Plus, much rather spend my time with you. I live with half those guys" He said with a laugh. He watched as her plump lips curved into a smile, the sight alone making his heart race. "C'mere.." He said, pulling her into him as he let her get comfortable on his chest. Seb tiled his head down to look at her, his gaze catching hers. "No more walls, ok?" He said gently, letting his finger lift her chin up slightly so her could kiss her softly.

Margot: Of course it felt good to be back in his arms, familiar smells and touches filling her senses but Margot couldn’t help but be tense. Maybe this was all a dream, Lord knows she’d dreamt of this sort of thing before. When he looked down at her, Margot shifted to be able to look up and chewed on her bottom lip, “That’s easier said than done,” she admitted, “I need you to be patient with me.”

Seb: The male actor nodded at her confession. She wasn't wrong, it was easier said than done, but the fact that she was even willing to accept this from him, Seb would be stupid to complain. "You got it. I promise I will be once you reassure me along the way, deal?" Seb said, his hand absentmindedly wandering up and down her side gently caressing her skin.

Margot: She felt like she was going to wait forever for Sebastian to answer but the fact that a reply came so quickly surprised her, “You promise?” She asked softly, “Like, actually promise? If it takes me a while to work out what I want to do or how I feel you won’t get pissed at me and bail out?” It was a serious question but his hands on her form were doing a good job of distracting her.

Seb: The Romanian smiled softly as the blonde actress spoke, a light chuckle leaving his mouth. "I promise. Once you can do the same for me. I'm in a pretty fucked up boat right now in every way you look at this, and I can't bring you on this right now - it wouldn't be fair to you. But once I figure it out, and if you want and you're ready, we can do this thing together." Seb said, giving her a half smile

Margot: Another odd wash of relief flowed through her when Sebastian agreed the timing wasn’t all that great and she found herself even more attracted to actually being with him that night. It didn’t need to be complicated, it could just be something physical tonight, something they’d both craved for months and could finally give in to. Instead of answering him, she quickly lent in and pressed her lips to his, trying to convey just how satisfied she was with his reply.

Seb: The older male was getting a bit worried when he noticed Margot wasn't speaking anymore. Maybe he said the wrong thing and she didn't like what he had to offer. But then he felt her full lips against his, and he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Moaning into the kiss, Sebastian let his hands wander down her body, his hand stopping at her core as he inched his fingers toward her sex

Margot: Margot had to remind herself that they were in an Uber otherwise she would have climbed on top of Sebastian as she felt his hands move across her body. She sighed gently into his mouth as he slipped a hand between her legs and reached down to wrap her fingers around his wrist, “Behave...” she spoke against his lips before breaking away and sponging her lips across his sharp jaw and down his neck, “Be patient...”

Seb: A groan left Sebastians lips as she told him to behave and to be patient. If only she knew what she did to him constantly. "C'mon..." He begged, smiling as he felt her lips glide across his skin. Sebastian laced his fingers with Margots before guiding her hand to his crotch, making her feel just exactly what she was doing to him.

Margot: Of course the moment Sebastian directed her hand to his crotch she began to gently caress his length through his pants, her lips making easy work of tasting every inch of his neck after so long. He still smelt the same, his skin salty and oddly sweet and Margot took a moment to push the last two years of drama to the back of her mind so she could pretend this was nothing new. It was them just sneaking away from another party to entertain each other, “The driver is about to get a show if he doesn’t hurry up. How much longer?” She asked, lips close to his ear.

Seb: The Romanian threw his head back in an attempt to stop his moans when he felt Margots touch against his length. It was crazy how even after all this time they were able to pick up as if nothing ever happened, as if they never forgot the way the other ticked. He lowered his gaze to his phone, checking how much longer they had. "20 minutes..." He said in an impatient tone before letting his lips lock with Margot's. "Let's give him a show..." Sebastian said against her lips, a devlish grin playing across his dark features

Margot: “Twenty minutes?” She replied in a small frustrated whisper, “It can’t have been only ten minutes...” her mouth remained on his neck as she nipped a little harder, “Not too much of a show — what if he knows who we are...?”

Seb: Sebastian turned his head so he could face Margot. He let his lips meet hers, just wanting to taste her more. "I doubt it, babe. I have a different name logged on my Uber account" He said with a smile as he brought his fingers under her skirt, rubbing her sex through her underwear in a soft manner, just to tease her. "Just a small show..." He begged as his voice faded out to almost nothing

Margot: “Oh yes because your face and mine aren’t at all recognisable...” she hummed out, sighing against his lips as he began to massage he robce more, “A small one...” she agreed gently, unable to say no as he was so easily teasing her, “The smallest show...” her hand began to move against his crotch once more as her other ran into the hair on the back of his head to gently grip his hair.

Seb: A smile pulled from the corner of his lips. "Makes it all the more fun..." He said with a grin. It was crazy, Seb always found himself just wanting to spend all the time with Margot whenever they were around each other. "That's fine, because the main show I want all to myself." Sebastian replied quietly, lowering his face so he could kiss her. He groaned against her lips as he felt her hand on his crotch. "You have any idea how irresistible you are to me?"

Margot: The blonde gently rolled her eyes at Sebastian and made a motion as if she was pulling away from him only to swoop back in and press her lips feverishly to his. Hearing his groan she knew she was messing too easily with him but she applied a little more pressure to his length with no care, she wanted to draw more noises from him m, tease him within an inch of his life, “Irresistible?” She repeated with a soft noise of approval, “Tell me about it, Bas...”

Seb: The male actor knew that tonight was meant to happen. He genuinely couldn't be more grateful to get another chance with the actress who meant so much to him since the moment they met. Especially in the manner he was in right now with her. He had every intention of having an intimate moment with a woman he cared so deeply about, hoping it would lead into anything. Sebastian would literally be happy to have Margot in his life in any way than not at all.

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Candy, chapters 14-15 [Epilogue 3]

On to Epilogue 3.

The last Epilogue ended with a cliffhanger: prior to his disappearance, Dirk was constructing a ‘feminine’ robot, which Dave discovers is holding a note in its hand.

CW suicide for chapter 14. A successful suicide by hanging is described in some detail.

Also this Epilogue is really short and I actually read an entire nother epilogue before I realised that, so the next post will be very soon after this one!

Chapter 14

We get a POV chapter of Dirk, which might answer our question. This chapter is in second person, and brings back the “> Ascend” prompt, used so much throughout Homestuck. All that we know is “the world has been set on a path you cannot tread”. There are apparently no stakes or consequences - so Dirk has decided to kill himself. He succeeds, decapitating himself by hanging himself from a tower in a rather grim recapitulation of all the Dirk’s head jokes.

The narration is extremely self-aggrandising and condescending towards everyone else, as befits Dirk. Although exactly why he felt John’s decision to stay rendered anything he might do in the new world devoid of meaning or consequence, or prevented him from popping out into the Farthest Realm to get involved in some plots out there, is not immediately clear.

Although he’s god tier, the death ‘takes’:

Your body doesn’t get up, and your head doesn’t open its eyes. When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just. 

Friggin’ Dirk.

Chapter 15

Funeral time. It begins about as awkward and ridiculously as Dirk himself.

Most of it is given to a speech by Dave. It’s well-written, in-voice, and makes me feel stuff about Dirk Strider. He specifically addresses intrusive thoughts about suicide, the shit that Bro did, the way that Dirk mattered to them even as weird and self-absorbed as he was. Which does kinda mean something, because I guess I feel like, like Dirk, I live a lot in my head, follow trains of thought that mean very little to other people, but I’ve managed to make myself matter to others anyway.

Not gonna kill myself though. Not anymore.

Gamzee, for some reason, has Dirk’s note, and accidentally destroys it. The narration continues to emphasise how disgusting Gamzee is: how much he smells, how he’s clumsy, openly scratches his crotch, etc. His attempt to recap Dirk’s final message is mostly skimmed over in narration. Jake’s also gonna give a speech but the camera mercifully spares us that.

John, at this point, offers to retcon the suicide. Because... he can actually do that. There’s a brief discussion of the difference between time travel and retcon (if Dave went back, it would allegedly just create a separate timeline where Dirk does not die). Dave is like, no, don’t do that John... but John attempts to do it anyway, only to find his powers no longer work!

At that point Roxy shows up and proposes. What’s that thing they have in America, where the studios are doing a donation drive so they write loads of really dramatic moments into shows? ‘Sweeps’? ...oh it’s actually to do with the ratings system, trying to court advertiser money, but same difference. It feels like that right now.

Something about this doesn’t feel... right? Just a few weeks ago, Roxy was happy with Calliope, and now she wants to have his babies? John feels like he’s missing something important here, like he went for a bathroom break during the part of the movie where the plot twist happens. He should give Roxy some time, get himself some space. It’s all happened so fast that it’s suffocating.

Yeah. Calliope hasn’t shown up onscreen for quite a lot of chapters. What are we missing? What profound effect has John’s decision to stay had, that’s caused everyone to suddenly be obsessed with pinning down ‘endgame’ relationships, having children etc.?

Roxy once again prophesises that they will be ‘so freakin happy!’. I’m getting more and more uneasy every time those words are uttered.

(Apparently ‘prophesise’ is nonstandard, but I like the sound of it more than ‘to prophesy’, so I’m keeping that, nyeh.)

Epilogue 3 as a whole

Suicide’s a heavy subject, and describing in second-person and in detail is intense reading, but also a pretty harsh thing to do without (localised) warning. I would personally have put a content note at the top of this chapter, and invited the reader to skip to the aftermath if they felt the need.

The funeral was well-written, even if we’re like, skating from dramatic moment to dramatic moment - deaths! funerals! proposals!

I imagine if I was more invested in Dirk I’d be a bit frustrated to see him so abruptly killed off, but I suspect he’ll have a much more substantial role in Meat.

Will be interesting to see just what is up with Calliope...