#had a really nice weekend to round it out u kno

[julykings]

summer’s end

[gjr1086]

Sometimes the hero needs saving...

So i don't really post much unless i have me feels going. But i think it's time u guys kno my story..

Since I was a kid my brother n my dad would always fight. I've seen my dad slam my brother through a wall when i was 14 n felt helpless... both of them are big guys with short fuses n thick skulls..

Throughout my teens i was picked on n bullied cause of my eczema (sever constant dry skin. Almost like having a heat rash n sunburn at the sme time). I wasn't popular but i made my own rep n was able to make friends easily. However, being so nice gets u taken advantage of.

I had a lot of messed up n abusive relationships to the point that being treated like a worthless piece of wasted skin. As hard to say all this it's time for me to let go of these heavy weight that I've been carrying around all my life.

When i got pregnant in 2008 my ex husband would cheat on me with random females (some from craigslist). The stress before n during my pregnancy landed me in the OR to have an emergency c-section cause my daughter's heart rate kept dropping (i wanted to have her naturally but my body only dialated 3-5cm. I spent the next 5 days in the hospital trying to learn how to walk n take a piss on my own with out having an accident. When we got home my ex husband tells me that with the complecations during surgery the doctor gave him a choice on who to save in the event that we both start crashing. He tells him to save his wife cause we can always make another baby.

After that he just kept abusing me mentally n emotionally by staying out at outrageous hours saying he has to work (as an electrician who's hours of operation end at 5pm. He leaves at 6am n cames home at 2am the next morning). I had enough n snapped on him tue daybafter my daughter's first Christmas. My mom took the baby out of the room so i could sleep n my ex runs his mouth about my mom invading our room n messing with the baby. (Mind u i am still pretty raw from having my daughter less then a month before). Idk what came over me but when he turned his bck to me in the middle of the conversation i saw red n pulled him back saying "don't turn ur fucking back on me again n look at me when i am talking to u" he seemed like he was gonna swing n i would have let him just to fuel my rage more.. something took over me n i fractured 3 or his ribs, gave him a black eye and a busted lip.. we split for bout 3 weeks but he would "try" to see the baby n ended up saying that he wanted to come home. But that didn't last long. We separated about a month later n he hasn't seen his daughter since she was 4 months old..

After that all my relationship were extremely difficult on both ends cause i seem to be attracting n am attracted to ppl as broken as I was.. thinking I could save them.. when really i needed to he saved. I was told by my over 5 yr ex that fairytales don't exsist n started believing that there will never be a happy ending for me..

In 2014 my mom, dad, daughter n i moved into a house with my brother, his wife n 2 bots who came from the Philippines. Here i was thinking it was to bring the family closer but i soon came to realize it was so that we could take care of his family while he was out at sea. Big mistake cause when he was home all he did was fight n argue with my dad. My dad started getting obsessed with his plants n gardening that he watered our big ass back yard n the front garden area for almost 3 hrs a day n running up the water bill. Then shit knocked us out one by one.

Feb 2015: daughter get pneumonia n had to he admitted to the hospital for 5 days with round the clock meds.

April 2015: my dad had a mild heart attack n heat stroke from being out with his plants n not resting nor taking his meds for diabetes, high blood, hypertension, n more.

May 2015: i slipped n fell at work messing up my right knee n was in a wheelchair for 3 months n crutches in between.

June 2015: i went back to work after my injury n the same day my mom had a massive stroke leaving her paralyzed on her whole right side, damaging the entire left side of her brain n compromising her speech.

I ended up quitting my job n staying home to care for her fulltime (but only got paid for business hours). Regardless of the pay i did it for her to not suffer alone in a damn nursing home like my grandmother. Little by little things changed but not for the good.

July 2015: my dad has a melt down n acted as if he ws going to hirt someone or himself. So i told my sister in le to take the kids upstairs n lock the door while me n my 5+ ur bf took care of the situation. My brother was on the phone with me during this n told me to call the cops. My dad acted like nothing was wrong n the cops said that cant take hime because basically nothing bad happened yet... smh.

I took my sister n the kids to my aunts for the weekend while my mom was still in the hospital to let things cool off in the house n family n friends were telling me that he may need mental help.. as much as i didn't want to betray my dad i had to do what was best n he agreed to do a psych evaluation. The things that cam out of his mouth was soo cold n morbid that it broke my heart knowing that he saw demon faces on his own family's faces...

He was admitted for 72 hrs but was sent back on another incident. (I kno I'm missing a lot in between but I'm just letting my fingers do the talking for me). He was evicted n homless living in his van for 2 yrs until my brother had the bright idea to sell the house n basically made it to ever man for themselves. He did me a "generous" favor of letting me n my 3 friends rent the house as tenants.

March 26th, 2017: my mom passed away the morning after I broke things off with my 5+ yr ex. I guess she was waiting for me to do that to let her kno that I ws ready to let her go.....

April 2015: I met my recent bf (who is now ... idk not apart of my life anymore i suppose) who was basically cheating on me while he was living with me because he got fed up of my trust n insecurity issues n literallysaid "fuck it.."

Before this crap with my dude, my daughter's god father (who is also my ex) got jealous n broke his lease agreement to move to Maryland. N my so called sister (my god daughter's mom) fucked me over as well by taking advantage of my generosity n kindness to get her n my god daughter off the street n in an actual home. I tried to give her another chance to be a good mom but took too much advantage of everyone. Those two got everyone evicted n not only was my dad homeless but me, my daughter n my bf for 4 months (it may not seem long but when u are going through it.. that seems like a lifetime). In that time I learned that my bf was talking inappropriately to other females n that door that was keeping the demons locked up had broken down n won't close. I ended up swinging at him on 3 different occassions n started cutting, ripping at flesh or smoking my life away slowly since.

Friday, Aug 13, 2018 we were blessed with a new home but it doesn't feel like it just yet. Stuff isn't fully unpacked cause finances are low to get a uhaul n lack of man power is making the process longer. Since the crap with my dude happened i guess he got tired of me bitching about his neglect n abuse towards me cause he really feels like he didn't do anything wrong..

It's ok.. i always turn into the bad guy when all i did was put in all my time n effort just to have it thrown back in my face...

So I'm just sitting here feeling worthless.. n wondering what the fuck to do now... i'm just soo lost... i just wana sleep n never wake up again...

[sadiiomane10]

lfc headcannons written w sej  (2)

gini and klavan are neighbours and live in the same building (its actually cannon, trust me, theres a vid)

and gini keeps ragnars kids up with his super loud music and then klavan gets his revenge in training

and i can imagine them both tryin to outsing each other or somethin or they have a music volume battles

 but can u imagine ragnar tries his hardest to nutmeg gini in training to get him back

ragnar f i have to hear little birds one more time i`ll kill someone klavan 

okay but them havin breakfast together before trainin or something and carpools to training and arriving together, there such a big family and melwood is there home i

gini babysittin ragnars kids and ragnar is rlly strict about their bedtime and he comes home to them awake at midnight and theyve made a furniture fort with gini

and ragnar is like gini u had one job, one job how do u fail to do that but gini brings out that smile and rag cant be mad at him no more, cus THE SMILE, gini gets outta everything with that smile,

and ginis like they werent tired yet, but rag knows hes a big child so he just shakes his head cus his kids are happy and its a pretty decent fort if hes being honest

and they’re so comfy living next to each other they just keep their doors open so more often than not he’ll be chillin n gini will appear out of nowhere to say hi, and gini is always invited round for dinner cus rag is worried he just lives on pot noodles, and hes like a big brother to the kids, and the kids love when he comes round cus hes so fun

and you kno gini has his own lil spot under the klavan xmas tree and he comes round on christmas morning just to say merry christmas and give the kids a present but the kids invite him in and they got him a present too and he gets a little emosh and he stays for breakfast, 

the klavans adopted gini its cannon

and we like to think lo has moved in with emre now tht him and annelie arent together anymore

and lo’s like so emre i have a spare room, and the apartments big so like………..‘so like what are u gonna move out’ no i was thinking like …… get to the point loris

i can imagine he has this speech planned out and he’s stutterin and ads just pipes up all jealous like he wants to move in w you ok just say yes 

emres stunned face would be priceless, and hes like awww really, awww i feel honoured ’ loris- i take it back u prickbt emre stays yes cus there like partners in crime and it would be lit, so emre decorates his stupid tree and lets him take credit 

and lo has forced him to get a tree cos xmas is for everyone and lo will leave if there aint a tree

i think loris recruited the team to do his tree cus he doesnt have a clu what hes doing,and he would just be sat there lettn them do the work and every so often be like yeah thats great mmm yep nice but the whole time hes on his phone 

emre and lo being like look emre i brought u a tie, U BROUGHT ME A TIE, WTF, thats the worst present in the history of the world and emre’s like who are u to talk you brought me a fucking bathrobethe fuck shall i do with that, whatever cheapskate ur stupid tie if from the lfc shop , WELL SO IS UR BATHROBE,

 they both eventually agree they brought horrendous presents

okay but they all go in a christmas weekend away lo and emre in the name of spite refuse to wear anything else than the stuff they bought so emre will wear nothing but the fluffy bathrobe “emre take that robe off you’re not comin to dinner in that” “emre take it OFF” “MILLY YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT FASHION WHY DO YOU CARE NOW”

ans lo wears the tie around this head one day because he’s getting bored with the old look “why are you wearing a tie around your head” “why not” ��i hate you for making that look work” “thank you ads”“I want to wear what they’re wearing” “Alby I swear to GOD”