#hachichimeta | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hachichimitsu · 3 years ago

Text

Important Stan Marsh ISFP Moments : Quote Compilation

Upholds Essence of Authenticity & Extreme Aversion to Lies due to Fi (Introverted Feeling) : XXFP

Stan is morally driven in his decision-making. He has core values that he upholds to a very standard, even if the consensus were to condemn him for it. He is authentic, real and unfiltered. Conformity for a cause that he doesn’t believe in is the last thing he would ever do as a person. He will always advocate for justice and truth.

Stan: I can't do it anymore, you guys. I can't even think with the Chinese government censoring everything I write.

Butters: So there's not gonna be a biopic movie for us?

Stan: It's so wrong. You know, I mean, we live in a time when the only movies us American kids go see are ones that are approved by China.

Jimmy: Yeah. It' like China is the new MPAA.

Butters: Stinks to say goodbye to all that biopic money and glory.

Stan: We just gotta face it. A death metal band is never gonna make real money anymore. The only band that would get approved by China would be all vanilla and cheesy.

(…)

Stan: Cut. Cut, cut! [the special effects disappear and the green screen in the gym is shown] This is all wrong.

Producer: No, it's good, kids! They're loving it!

Stan: Yeah, but I can't sell my soul like this. I want to get away from that farm, more than anything, but it's not worth living in a world where China controls my country's art. [one of the censor's protests] I don't care how many people you have! I've got something in me that just won't let me be a part of all this.

Butters: Yeah! Whatever it is, I got it too!

The Others: Yeah!

Stan: I wanna be proud of who we are, guys! And anybody who would betray their ideals just to make money in China isn't worth a lick of spit

🏴‍☠️

Stan: I'm saying this to you, John Edward, you are a liar, you are a fake, and you are the biggest douche ever!

John Edward: Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope! How does that make me a douche?!

Stan: Because the big questions in life are tough: Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? But if people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never gonna find the real answer to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind, you douche!

John Edward: I'M NOT A DOUCHE! And I challenge you to a psychic showdown! I'll prove to the world that I'm psychic and you're not!

Stan: Fine, douche! [slams one door on him...]

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: Hey Stan. Dude, I want you to have this. It's the twenty bucks I owed you plus thirty dollars interest.

Stan: Wow, really? [takes the money and starts counting it]

Kyle: I got a job, Stan. I am making tons of money doing some really cool stuff.

Stan: Doing what?

Kyle: Crack baby... basketball.

Stan: [somewhat startled] ...Dude.

Kyle: No no, it's n-it's not like it sounds. Here, check it out. [leads Kyle inside and to his room, then gets on the computer and goes to a Web site.] See look, we just video the babies fighting over a ball full of crack. It's really getting popular! [soon, babies are heard. Kyle is showing Stan one of the Crack Baby Fight videos] I mean it, it's cool because like the commercial said, the crack babies had nothing before. [Stan stays quiet] It, it's great, because everyone wins, you know? You see that? Two million hits. [Stan stays quiet] Did you know they're putting bacon inside of pancakes at Denny's

🏴‍☠️

Stan: I guess not, but... What is it exactly you're trying to do?

Kyle: Just, you know, make some money off him. Like Honey Boo Boo.

Stan: [alarmed, gets up and walks up to Kyle] Dude! Dude, not cool!

Kyle: What?

Stan: Haven't you heard what happened? Honey Boo Boo's heart gave out.

Kyle: [a bit shocked] What? Oh my God.

Stan: Yeah dude. It's really serious

🏴‍☠️

Stan: (…) What you do is sort of, unjustifiable? And you know it's unjustifiable? And you don't care? You're the definition of evil? Kill yourself?

Dean: Okay, we're gonna sell this ring for just thirty-seven ninety five. [$3,795.00 onscreen] How's that? [puts the ring onto a woman's right ring finger.]

Stan: I just read that the day shopping networks make most of their money is on the day seniors pick up Social Security checks? Kill yourself.

(…)

Stan: I don't care what happens to me, I care about my grandfather, you morally empty corrupted maggot!

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Okay. [finishes up and seals his ballot, then walks away]

Kyle: Woah... wait, what are you doing?

Stan: I'm voting.

Kyle: No, no, you... you wrote down Turd Sandwich.

Stan: Yeah, I know.

Kyle: ...Dude, you're supposed to vote for Giant Douche.

Stan: [annoyed] I thought I was supposed to make my own decision.

Kyle: Well yeah, but not if your decision is for Turd Sandwich! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Stan: Wait a minute, you didn't want me to vote, you wanted me to vote for your guy!

Kyle: Well, I just figured you'd vote for my guy! Who's fuckin' friend are you?! [calls out to] Puffy!

Cartman: [interrupts] Hey, fuck off, Kyle. [aside, about Puffy and his crew] Don't let them intimidate you, Stan. I'll help walk you to the booth. And then I'm gonna buy you a nice steak dinner with all the trimmings.

Stan: Oh, forget it! I'm not gonna be persuaded into voting and I'm and I'm not gonna be threatened into voting if I don't feel comfortable with it! I'm not gonna vote and you can all just live with it

🏴‍☠️

Profile Stan Marsh: [gets down on one knee to Stan's eye level] Why do you think I brought you in here? The fact of the matter is I'm up and running now with almost a million friends. I don't need you anymore. I have more friends than you'll ever have in the real world.

Stan: Who cares? Friends shouldn't be some kind of... commodity for a person's status

🏴‍☠️

Future Stan: Oh, dude, how's it goin', man? Ey, you wanna go upstairs and play hide and go seek?

Stan: [takes a seat at the table] Hide and go seek, huh?!

Randy: Yeah, Stan, why don't you go upstairs and play with yourself?

Stan: I don't believe that he's my future self!

Randy: Yeah, but we can't be sure, so we'd better assume he is and never try that first marijuana cigarette, huh?

Stan: No, I actually have a way to be sure. [whips out a meat cleaver in his right hand and places his left wrist on the table] I'm going to cut off my hand. If he is my future self, then his hand will disappear.

Sharon: [rises frantically] S-stanley you don't need to do that. He-he is your future self.

Stan: But I have to know for sure. [readies the cleaver]

Randy: [stammers] Don't be silly, Stan. You don't wanna go through life without one of your hands. [Sharon is fearful]

Stan: Maybe it's the hand I smoked that first joint with. Here I go. I'm gonna do it

(…)

Stan: Mom, Dad, I don't think that guy is from the future. [Sharon and Randy shift in their chairs]

Randy: Oh. You. You don't?

Stan: No. [plants his hands along the table's edge] You know what I think? I think this is all an elaborate hoax! [crosses his arms again] And I think that whoever is doing it doesn't have very much respect for me! [uncrosses his arms] See, the best way to try to motivate somebody is by being direct with them, to be honest with them. I think the whole future self thing is a lie, and lies are never the right way to get your message across

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: Dude, they've been doing that for a long time.

Stan: So? Dude, don't you guys care? We have to do something.

Kyle: What are we gonna do, Stan? It's, it's not like we can change the way an entire country thinks. I don't like it, but it's just the way they are.

Stan: It seems like everyone has an attitude of "that's just the way they are" or "that's just the way it is"! Nobody likes it, but everybody's too busy to do anything about it!

Cartman: I'm not too busy, Stan.

Stan: You're not?

Cartman: No, I just don't care. At all.

Kenny: (Yeah, me neither.)

Stan: Kenny? You don't care about whales and dolphins being slaughtered?

Cartman: [speaking into the mic] Stan, me and Kenny don't give two shits about stupid-ass whaaales!

Stan: You know, when all the whales and dolphins in the world are gone, people are gonna wish that at some point they had taken a little time to care just a little goddamn bit! [turns and walks out the front door. The boys don't move for a few seconds, then Cartman launches back into "Poker Face".

(…)

Stan: Oh what? So now that I have a hit TV show you guys care about dolphins and whales?

Cartman: We always have.

Kenny: (Yeah, totally!)

Stan: I asked you guys to help me and you said no!

Cartman: That's not what we said.

Stan: You said "Stan, me and Kenny don't give two shits about stupid-ass whales!"

Cartman: We were talking about Wales the country.

Stan: Look, if you admit that you're only doing this because you wanna be on TV, then I'll consider it! Admit you just wanna be on TV

🏴‍☠️

Stan: And uh, oh, [hopeful faces look back at him] ...I ...I can't do this.

President: Huh, what?

Stan: Look, everybody, we're all looking for answer, you know. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from, but... sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we... believe just about anything.

Man 2: Huh?

Woman: What?

Stan: [takes off his laurel] I'm not the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. And... Scientology is just a big fat global scam

🏴‍☠️

Stan: No!

Randy: Stan, you're behaving like a kid!

Stan: You're the ones who made me eat veal without telling me what it was! You're the ones who knew we were making little baby animals suffer! [walks off to his right]

Sharon: Open this door, now!

Stan: [pushing his dresser into place against the door] Kiss my ass

🏴‍☠️

Usage of “Poetic” Terminology and Self-Expression due to Fi (Introverted Feeling) : XXFP

Stan has a knack of describing his emotions and hardships through artistic language. Due to his authentic nature, he can easily express himself through lyrical or literary outlets.

Stan: You guys have no idea how this feels. It's like, you always hear songs about a broken heart and you think it's just a figure of speech? But it's true. My chest hurts. I feel this like, sinking feeling where my heart is. It's broken..

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Uuummm, it was about two weeks ago.

Butters: Yeah. As a matter of fact, two and a half, three weeks ago, I'd say.

Stan: I hah, I hah, I hadn't seen my friend Kyle, and I hate living on a farm, so I started writing songs.

Producer: That's good, that's good. [writes under Act I] "Lost a close friend. Put loneliness into lyrics.

🏴‍☠️

Needs and Provides Fi-Fueled Motivation : XXFP

Stan prefers to give and take advice on a one-on-one basis. Often his choice of words are that of empathetic understanding (Fi), practical reasoning (Se) or even the “tough love” approach (Te). He also prefers to take in advice that are Fi-Oriented, rarely does he ever use or feel resonant with Ti-based reasoning.

Butters: Uh, uhm no thanks. I I love life.

Stan: Huh? But you just got dumped.

Butters: Wuh-ell yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that somethin' could make me feel that sad. It's like, [sobs] it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid...

Pete: Yeah.

Stan: No. No, Butters, that doesn't sound stupid at all

Butters: Well, thanks for offerin' to let me in your clique, guys, uh but, to be honest, I'd rather be a cryin' little pussy than a faggy Goth kid. Well see ya, Stan. [walks off]

Stan: He's right. I don't even know who I am anymore. I like liking life a whole lot more than hating it. Screw you guys, I'm goin' home. [walks off]

(…)

Kyle: What happened? Aren't you still wallowing in pain?

Stan: Yeah, it still hurts a lot, but ...I just realized that there's gonna be a lot of painful times in life, so, I'd better learn to deal with it the right way.

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Hey Kyle.

Kyle: Hey.

Stan: Kyle, there's peace in the Middle East. They're saying maybe it's gonna lead to peace all over the world. Everyone's really happy. You should be too.

Kyle: I am happy, Stan. I'm thrilled.

Stan: ...Dude, we've been friends a long time. Can you just tell me why you like Cartman's farts so much?

Kyle: [gets emotional] I just do, Stan.

Stan: You like... how they smell? How they taste?

Kyle: Yes.

Stan: They're really that good?

Kyle: Yes.

Stan: Should I try them?

Kyle: NO.

Stan: ...Kyle, maybe you should get some help.

Kyle: Please, just, just leave it alone, Stan. Everything is as it has to be

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Dude, don't be nervous.

Kyle: How can I not be nervous? Trying out for the All-State team has been my dream for years.

Stan: You're the best player at our school, dude. You'll make the team for sure

(…)

Dude, you were awesome, Kyle. [no response. Stan looks at Kenny, then looks back at Kyle] Look, y-you gave it your best shot, right? That's all you could do. [looks at Kenny, shrugs, and walks away. Kenny walks over, puts his hand on Kyle's shoulder for consolation, then walks away. Cartman looks a bit concerned, walks over to Kyle... and taunts him!]

🏴‍☠️

Butters: What do you want?

Stan: I came to ask you one more time to join the crew. Everyone is practicing really hard, but... I don't think we have any kind of shot without you.

Butters: Sorry, Stan, I'm not a dancer anymore. [leaves his chair and walks up to his Lego box] I gave that up.

Stan: Your mom says you were one of the best dancers in the country.

Butters: [rummaging for Lego blocks to take back to his desk] Did she also tell you my dancing got eight people killed?

Stan: Yeah. She said your shoe came off. It wasn't your fault.

Butters: Yeah well, you tell that to their families. [returns to his desk with a new batch of blocks]

Stan: Look, Butters, accidents happen. We all have to live with that.

Butters: [whirls around] I let those people down! Don't you get it, man?! Eight people died!

Stan: Well, it was nine, actually. One of the women was pregnant.

Butters: What?

Stan: And eleven if you count the two family members that killed themselves afterward.

Butters: [cups his hear so he hears no more] Aaaah!

Stan: But that isn't the point, Butters! [Butters resumes building his tiny town] The point is that this is now! It's on! And there are people who need you to step up! Look, nobody likes having to rise to a challenge. But competing against other people and getting in their faces saying "Haha! I'm better than you!" is part of life. And if you can't face that, then you might as well sit here and play Legos until you're an old man.

Butters: Get out of my room, Stan.

Stan: [Firmly] Fine. [walks to the door and opens it] But someday you're gonna have to stop running from what happened and start dealing with it. Otherwise, you might as well move to France with all the other pussies. [leaves and closes the door. Butters, angered, tosses some blocks into his town, then wipes the town off the desk.

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Kyle. [Kyle doesn't reply. Stan sighs, closes the door and approaches him] Kyle, you can't keep doing this. You know what, at some point, you've got to let this go.

Kyle: Yeah? Well... maybe you can forget what happened, but I... can't.

Stan: Look, what happened, happened. We can't change it now. We have to move on.

Kyle: [leaves his desk angrily and faces Stan] Move on?! Our friend was raped, Stan! He was raped, and we all stood there and did [takes his hands, puts them side by side, and sweeps them out away from each other] nothing!

Stan: There was nothing we could do, Kyle! [Kyle walks away. Stan says softly] There was nothing we could do. We had to get out of there.

Kyle: [turns around and faces Stan] Did we?! Maybe we could have stopped them!

Stan: How?

Kyle: [turns away again] I dream about it every night. Every time I close my eyes I see us just running away, running while they ray-rape him over and over again. [clenches his fists at the thought of it, then loosens the grips and turns around] And because we did nothing... they got away.

Stan: You can't keep torturing yourself like this, Kyle. Let it... go.

Kyle: [wipes something from his forehead] I'm... glad... that you guys can just keep living. I don't think I can. [walks out of the room. Stan watches him leave, then sighs]

Stan: [puts his hands in his jacket pockets] God damn it

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Cartman, lay off! You're next to last.

Cartman: So? I'm hotter than Kyle. [makes his way through the crowd and out of the bathroom] I'm better looking than Kyyyle! [the other boys join him out except for Stan and Kyle] Yes! I'm hotter than Kyyyle! I'm hotter than Kyyyle!

Kyle: I'm last? Last?

Stan: Dude, it's just a stupid list, remember?

Kyle: I got voted the ugliest boy in the whole class?

Stan: Who cares what dumb girls think, right? [realizes there's no consolation now and walks away.]

Lack of Fe (Extroverted Feeling) or Ti (Introverted Thinking) in Social Situations : XXFP

Stan doesn’t exhibit any Fe or Ti, which disproves any implications that he is a TP or FJ type. He isn’t so emotionally expressive, often either feigning interest or rarely ever conforming to a socially acceptable reaction to things. He doesn’t match his energy with others, mostly just acts like himself no matter who he’s talking to. He also struggles with understanding the emotions of others externally, more so would rather connect with others one-on-one. May say or do things in an awkward or blunt manner with lack of social awareness unintentionally.

Clerk: Okay, just follow me over to the waiting room and we'll have you take a seat with the others.

Stan: [being interviewed] And we were like, "Others? We have to do this with other people?" [a shot of the boys entering the waiting room, where there are seven other people waiting]

Woman 1: Hi there.

Man 1: Hello.

Woman 2: Hi

Narrator: The boys have just made a sobering discovery. [a shot of Stan's internal organs and spine] For ten year old Stan Marsh, the realization that he will be with a tour group has caused his adrenal glands to slow down. [this is shown] The average human acts a certain way when surrounded by friends and family. [Stan's brain and skull are shown] But, in a tour group, the brain has to work overtime, acting nice and pretending to care about people on the tour.

Woman 2: [quite pregnant] Hey, how are you?

Stan: [feigned interest] Good. How are you

🏴‍☠️

Butters: We came over to cheer you up, Stan!

Stan: [softly, creaking] ...Go away

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Jesus, how long before they start this Goddamned thing?! [apparently trailers are still playing]

Cartman: Oh cool, the movie trailers!

Announcer: Adam Sandler is Jack. Adam Sandler is Jill. [Jack and Jill are at a well, and Jill poops on Jack... and they both look like turds]

Stan: Awww God! [squeezes his eyes shut and puts his hand over them]

Kyle: Dude, you said you wouldn't say everything looked like shit!

Stan: Sorry if I see things for what they are! Ok- okay, okay, I'm sorry.

Announcer: [a toilet bowl spews out shit] This November, Adam Sandler shits in your eyes, ears, and mouth. [Some eyes, ear, and mouth are shown separately, and poop lands on each of them] It's Adam Sandler in Pbbbbbt, rated Arg for pirates. Fuck you!

Cartman: That looks pretty good.

Stan: How can you say that looks good?!

Kyle: Shhh, you're doing it again!

Announcer: Jim Carrey has a bunch of turds in his apartment. [dancing turds that create turd sounds, at that]

Stan: [shields his eyes from the shit] Ugh.

Cartman: Stan, knock it off!

Stan: But it's just crap.

Kyle: No, they're penguins! Stop it

🏴‍☠️

Charlie Rose: Stan, after everything that's come out, after all the facts have been proven, why do you still wear the wristband?

Stan: I don't know, [looks at his wristband] I just like it.

Charlie Rose: You just like it.

Stan: Yeah. I donno. I've had it a long time, I just don't feel like cutting it off.

Charlie Rose: Well joining us now is just one of the billions of people who think that anyone who still wears their "What Would Jesus Do" wristband is doing all of society a disservice. Chris Martin you say that Stan Marsh is... a dick?

Chris Martin: Yeah, yeah, thanks Charlie. My problem with this kid is he doesn't care about the truth! Okay, if Jesus rose from the dead with the help of drugs, that's fine, but then he went on to say it was a miracle, and that is where it became dangerous! What about the Incas?! What about the Aztecs?! Millions of people who were murdered in Jesus's name, and then Jesus turns out to be a fraud! Wearing that bracelet is a slap in the face to everyone!

Charlie Rose: What do you say about that, Stan?

Stan: ...I don't know. [checks his wristband again] I like it

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: Oh, God. [grabs his head and stumbles away, then falls on all fours] Wuh. Aah. [waves his hand at Stan and Kenny] Get out of here!

Stan: [flatly] Why? [Kyle continues writhing and groaning, before throwing his hat away

🏴‍☠️

Nelson: Yeah, it's a pretty bad time for me, coach. I'm only five and I'm dying. [Stan walks up to him] Coach, what's it like when you die?

Stan: Wugh, I'm not sure. I would... think that... it's a lot like it was before you were born?

Nelson: How come I have to die now?

Stan: Ogh.

Nelson: I mean, how come I don't get to grow up?

Stan: Goddammit, dude, I don't know.

Nelson: I'm sorry.

Stan: No, what I mean is, nobody really knows, see? But everyone does it. I mean, it's not like everyone else gets to live and only you have to die. Everyone's gonna die. You feel better now?

Nelson: I think so.

Stan: Okay, great. Look, I, I gotta get to the stadium, but uh... hang in there? All right? [gives him a thumbs up and walks away

🏴‍☠️

Stan: What's up, Kyle? Why are you trying to trash-talk our theatrical release?

Kyle: Do you really think that this is good for Butters? To have his face put all over signs as the poster child for bullying?

Stan: Butters is totally fine with it, dude.

Kyle: Yeah? Well Butters is ten! He doesn't exactly know what's best for him, and neither do you

Reliance on Se (Extroverted Sensing) + Te (Extroverted Thinking) for Comebacks, Humor, Rational Thinking & Realist Attitude : XSFP

Stan’s humor within the show is both reliant on observational quips (Se) and clear-cut honesty (Te). Stan is and will always be a realist, in a sense that he can only truly believe in something that’s both concrete and applicable to reality. Stan is quick to react in making a comment on things that he notices.

PC Principal: I just saw a copy of the school newspaper in which a student used the word "r*tarded" to refer to our cafeteria lunch policy! The word "r*tarded" does not belong in our school!! Who is in charge of the school paper?! 'Cause I'm about to break their fuckin' legs!

Stan: Aaah, he's in charge of the school paper. [points to his right. PC Principal turns left and faces... Jimmy. PC Principal is speechless.] You gonna break his legs, PC Principal

🏴‍☠️

The Coon: I can't believe your dad was dumb enough to lend you his tools, Toolshed.

Toolshed: At least I have a dad.

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: These are the terms for your surrender. One, you will be the elves personal slave for…

Stan: A month.

Kyle: One month! Two, you agree that Elves are masters of the stick for all time. Three, you a-

Stan: Hey, hand me the mic for a sec (…) Three, the so-called Grand Wizard has to jump up and down continuously for 3 straight days. If he stops early, he has to start over.

Kyle: *giggles*

🏴‍☠️

[a shot of the PC babies crying as a stoned Strong Woman holds one of them up in her arms]

Stan: I guess they are offensive.

Kyle: *laughs*

🏴‍☠️

Stan: You guys are ten years old and you just figured out that Slash isn't real? Oh my God. [leaves the table]

Cartman: You knew about this??

Stan: [stands next to Craig and Clyde] My parents told me Slash wasn't real when I was five. Je-hesus Christ. [blinks his eyes and walks away. The others are dumbstruck for several seconds]

🏴‍☠️

Stan: [moving off slowly] That's us. Come on

Kyle: Four white birds!

Stan: Huh?

Kyle: There's four white birds! [Sees a sign for Jewleeard, a private school for young Jews. The sign has four birds in flight above a small school, two stars of David flanking the building, and two traditional Jewish men in overcoats, one at each end of the sign. A phone number is shown underneath. Kyle and Stan walk closer to the sign] This is what Grandma wants? She wants me to attend Jewleeard.

Stan: Dude, you were going to see four white birds eventually.

Kyle: So is it a coincidence that Grandma DID talk to me about going to Jewleeard someday?

Stan: Yes. Now, come on. Our plane is gonna leave. [walks off]

Kyle: I'm not going back.

Stan: [stops and looks at Kyle, astonished] What??

Kyle: I have to join Jewleeard and make Grandma proud! [drops his ticket on the ground] Tell my parents I'll call them. [hurries away]

Stan: Kyle. No, Kyle! Aw crap! [slaps his left palm on his face]

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Look, my friend Kyle won't fly back home to Colorado. All I need you to do is just talk to him and tell him, you know, the whole talking to dead people isn't for real.

John Edward: Maybe it is for real.

Stan: Right, but it's not. It's a trick you do and I need you to just let my friend Kyle know that so he can go on with his life.

John Edward: Look, people have the right to be skeptical. I really hear voices in my head.

Stan: Yes. We all hear voices in our heads. It's called "intuition." Get over yourself and tell my friend it's just for fun.

John Edward: Look, what I do doesn't hurt anybody. I give people closure and help them cope with life

Stan: No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn't real

John Edward: But I'm a psychic.

Stan: No dude, you're a douche.

John Edward: I'm not a douche! What if I really believe that dead people talk to me?

Stan: Then you're a stupid douche.

John Edward: I think I've had of your bullying me! Get out of my house or I'll runs upstairs, lock myself in my panic room and call the police!

Stan: I'm nine years old

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: Dude, what actually makes total sense about it, if you look at it, is that the crack babies are finally getting some attention and the care that they need. [glances at Stan] Yeah. It's pretty cool, dude. Because most of these babies would normally not even get out, you know? Huh, or be able to do anything. [glances at Stan again] Just because we are making money doesn't mean that those babies aren't benefiting. It isn't exploiting them. They're finding a useful place in society. What's so unethical about that? [glances at Stan and waits a bit longer for a reply]

Stan: ...You sound like Cartman.

Kyle: [puts his right hand on his stomach as if punched there] Ooogh. Dude, the thing is, we're not the ones that made them crack babies. That's their moms' goddamned fault!

Stan: Yeah, I'm sure that's what Cartman would say too.

Kyle: I do not sound like Cartman goddamnit! [frightens himself and glances at Stan, then look away] Okay, so, see ya. [goes out the front door and closes it behind him

🏴‍☠️

Stan: No, it proves he DID make it all up. Are you blind?

Mark: Well, Stan, it's all a matter of faith.

Stan: No, it's a matter of logic! If you're gonna say things that have been proven wrong, like that the first man and woman lived in Missouri, and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem, then you'd better have something to back it up. All you've got are a bunch of stories about some asswipe who read plates nobody ever saw out of a hat, and then couldn't do it again when the translations were hidden

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Hey, we want our money back.

Ticket Salesman: Huh?

Stan: That movie sucked ass. Give us back our eighteen dollars.

Ticket Salesman: I can't refund your money. You sat through the whole movie.

Stan: That wasn't a movie, that was a snuff film!

Kenny: (Yeah!)

Stan: You can't charge people to watch a guy get tortured for two hours!

Ticket Salesman: That guy happened to be Jesus, and he went through all that to pay for your sins!

Stan: We go to church to learn that stuff! We go to movies to be entertained! We weren't entertained, and we want our money back!

Ticket Salesman: I'm not allowed to give you your money back after you sat through the whole movie! You'd have to take your complaint up with the film's producers.

Stan: W-what? Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson?

Ticket Salesman: Yeah. I'd like to see you try.

Stan: Oh, we will! This is America! And in America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back! Come on, Kenny! [he and Kenny storm off

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Just put it between its eyes.

Tweek: GARH. But what if, while I'm putting on the nose, the snowman comes to life and tries to kill me?

Stan: Tweek, when has that ever happened, except for that one time?

🏴‍☠️

Spontaneity and Down-to-Earth Se (Extroverted Sensing) Nature : XSXP

Stan is always up for improvising and doing things on the spot. He can easily drop whatever he’s doing and engage with his environment without question or a clear, solid plan yet.

Kyle: Dude, we're gonna go sneak into Cartman's and change him back into a non-ginger!

Stan: Huh? Why?

Kyle: Because now he's acting like gingers are awesome. And all his friends are gingers. When he wakes up tomorrow and realizes he isn't really ginger, it'll be hysterical!

Kenny: (Hehe, yeah. Hehe)

Kyle: Are you in?

Stan: ...totally.

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: Dude, they're gonna kill Kenny!

Stan: I can't let them do it. [comes out from under the table] I've got to make the ultimate sacrifice. [turns and heads for the door, then exits the building]

Kyle: Stan?

Wendy: [leans out] Where are you going, Stan?

Stan: Wendy, I have to do something. Please look away. [turns around, grabs some dirt, rubs it on his face, and walks to the hostage area]

Franz: All right, that does it! [jabs the tip of the gun up against Kenny's hood. Kenny just looks at him] On the count of three this child dies! One! Two!

Kenny: (Give them the freaking door code!)

Stan: [walks up] Well howdy there, strangers. [everyone looks at him as he approaches] Sorry to interrupt ye, but I done come from Pagosa Springs to buy me some wares an' sich..

Pioneer Paul: Ohhh, welcome, partner. [the other employees welcome him as well.]

Franz: Wha-what are you doing?

Stan: I heard you all had some difficulty with a criminal getsin' out of your jail.

Pioneer Paul: That's right, Murderin' Murphy. He's crazy 'cause someone killed his pa.

Murderin’ Murphy: They killed my pahr!

Stan: I reckon that maybe you could make a jail door that opened with numbers instead of keys. You know, like a biiiiig safe.

Pioneer Paul: Y-y-yeah, I understand that.

Clerk: Finally, a fella that talks some sense.

Stan: If'n you all was to have such a giant safe, what would you villagers want the number to be to unlock that thar jail door shuckamuck?

Pioneer Paul: Oh, well uh, I reckon the easiest number to remember for any big safe door lock would be... 1864.

🏴‍☠️

Relatively Easy Usage of Ni (Introverted Intuition) for Pattern-Spotting, Probability-Based Predictions and Planning : XSXP

Stan can easily predict people’s intentions and outcomes by utilizing real-world patterns and cause-and-effect systems. Often does things by a “hunch” through probability (“What is most likely going to happen in this situation?”). Has shown signs of being laser-focused on getting the outcome he anticipates.

Stan: See, Kyle? I just started with something really vague. I chose an older man because I'm betting that, based on this woman's age, her father is most likely dead. But if her father wasn't dead, I could still say it was some other older man.

Man 2: Well then how'd you know her birthday was in November?

Stan: I didn't. I just asked her if November meant anything. Her father could have died in November, or Thanksgiving could have been really special for them. But I go with the birthday and validate it now, as if I knew, by saying "He wishes you a Happy Birthday.

🏴‍☠️

Stan: [getting annoyed] Stop it! I didn't do anything!

Man 9: [rises and accuses] You knew Peter was dead!

Stan: [reminding] I didn't start by saying Peter is dead! I started by saying, "They want me to acknowledge Peter." That could have meant Peter was in the audience or that Peter was somebody's friend, or Peter had died. I couldn't be wrong, see? Now, I can look at this woman and see that she's fairly young, so odds are her husband was fairly young when he died. So I can say something like, "I'm getting that Peter's death was very untimely."

Woman 5: [sobbing] Yes, it was.

Audience: Wow!! [begins to clap]

Man 10: Amazing!

Woman 7: Ask Peter if he knows my little Billy.

Stan: [frustrated, with right hand over his clenched eyelids] Okay. Let's back up. [each audience row backs up to the one behind it] Not literally

🏴‍☠️

Stan: How come you couldn't just go home, dude? That's all we had to do!

Kyle: Stan! What the fuck?!

Stan: It was all planned out!

Kyle: You knew this whole time? Why?

Stan: Because it was me. I'm the one who took a dump in the urinal.

Kyle: [backs away a bit] What??

Stan: The stalls were full and I didn't wanna miss recess! I didn't think it would turn into such a big deal!

Kyle: So you blamed the government?

🏴‍☠️

Fi-Ni Loops : ISFP

Stan can often get stuck in a Fi-Ni loop, a negative thinking cycle that causes him to view life in a depressing lens. When he is subjected to emotionally distressing situations (Fi), he has the tendency to project a negative future on his life (Ni). It’s a sense of catastrophizing wherein an ISFP will continually predict a negative trajectory of events until they feel a sense of hopelessness and an inability to escape from their situation. In short, Stan gets in this state when feels trapped in his situation, and things will only go downhill from here. To get out of this loop, Stan needs to use his Se, the function that will help him view situations realistically and objectively. He needs to welcome change and external experience in order to feel fulfilled. Stan needs the freedom to experience things and not remain stagnant. Being cooped up is his greatest fear.

Jimmy: Well, Stan. Do you feel, uhb- better now?

Stan: No, dude, I feel worse!

Kyle: Look, we're just trying to show you there's other girls out there.

Stan: Dude, I don't have time to start over with other girls. I'm nine years old, dude! If I don't work things out with Wendy, I could be alone my whole life

🏴‍☠️

Stan: I don't want everything to go back to the way it was! [suddenly calm] I, I don't. [he steps over the broken bottle, leaves and joins the other kids, who have returned] You were right, Kyle. Sometimes, the only way to go forward, is to take a big left turn. I've been resisting it, but I'm ready now. I want you to stay with Cartman Burger, dude. It's okay. You're gonna do this and I'm gonna do my thing and ...my mom and dad aren't getting back together. But you know what? It's okay. In fact, it's better. Change is gonna bring new things to all of us. Where will Cartman Burger go from here? That'll be cool to see. And it opens me up to a whole new adventure, exploring... new relationships with all new people in town. [approaches one boy] Maybe this kid will become my new best friend. [then another] Or maybe this kid will.

Douglas: Wow. [smiles]

Stan: Maybe it won't be like before, but... at least it'll all be new. And that's what's gonna make it so that I can keep going. For the first time in a long time, I'm really excited. [a horn and the sound of wheels stopping are heard

🏴‍☠️

Stan: Is that really it? Because I, I just feel like we kind of threw Grandpa away and forgot about him.

Randy: Oh really? Do you have any idea how much money we pay to have Grandpa in that place? Your grandpa is stylin'! Can you imagine being able to just sit around all day and not have to do anything but eat and watch TV?

Stan: Yeah. I'd probably go crazy and wanna kill myself.

Randy: Jesus, Stan! It's not like he's in jail!

Stan: Yeah, it's kind of like jail. You should go visit him.

🏴‍☠️

Mr. Mackey: M'kay, Stan, you, you've gotta try and pull yourself out of this, m'kay? I know that... your parents recently got divorced. M'kay, that's gotta be hard. I know that's... that's bad. But when you walk around all mopey, m'kay, and sayin' everything is... just shitty, well, that's called bein' a Debbie Downer, Stan. And nobody likes a Debbie Downer, m'kay. ...I mean you've gotta, you've gotta snap out of it, Debbie. Come on, Debbie, you're even bummin' me out now, m'kay? Your attitude just- just sucks.

Stan: [after a few seconds' silence] I just want everything to go back to the way it was

Mr. Mackey: Okay, well, that's not gonna happen, Debbie. Okay, you know, uh life, life has to change, m'kay?

Stan: How?... When all the things that made you laugh, just make you sick. How do you go on when nothing makes you happy? [tears start to well up around his eyes]

🏴‍☠️

Inferior Te Suppressions and Meltdowns: IXFP

Stan often suppresses emotions that he finds to be too weak or embarrassing to share. He would rather do something reckless than to ever be vulnerable with his feelings unprompted. He tends to bottle things up until they explode, due to looking at these feelings with shame.

Stan: Cartman, please! We have to stop this show! Lorde is going to do something horrible and corrupt little girls everywhere!

Cartman: Why does that matter?

Stan: Because Lorde is my dad, alright?! [walks forward as his anger drains away] Lorde is my dad.

Cartman: What?

Kyle: What are you talking about, Stan?

Stan: He does it all with computers and processors... He got discovered on the Internet. He's like the PewDiePie of music. And he played live last week. Rubbed his clit and started trending more than ever. I thought he had learned his lesson... but it's like he doesn't care.

Cartman: Sorry guys, I gotta go. The world needs CartmanBrah. [the commenter window disappears]

Kyle: Why didn't you tell me, Stan? I would've helped.

Stan: It just all seemed so... stupid

🏴‍☠️

Cartman: Did you guys know there's actually a disease called Assburgers? [Stan is hearing everything as if from a distance]

Mr. Garrison: Sit down boys, we'll talk about this later. Right now we're talking about vaginal warts.

Wendy: This isn't fair! How can the school make us get vaccinated?

Butters: You mean little hamburgers grow in your butthole?

Cartman: That's right, it's a butt fungus.

Butters: Well I don't want burgers comin' out of my butt!

Stan: [in an angry outburst] God, shut up! Everyone just shut the fuck up! [looks around glaring at everyone, who look back at him, stunned

🏴‍☠️

Tolkien: Stan... Are you ok? You've just been acting kind of strange the last few days.

Stan: Yeah, I'm good. I'm... No, I'm not... Tolkien, I have something I have to tell you.

Tolkien: Okay.

Stan: This whole time, I thought your name was "Token". Like... the token black person.

Tolkien: Wow.

Stan: Yeah.

Tolkien: Wow... Why would my parents name me something that means the only black person?

Stan: I don't know. So I understand if you don't wanna be around me anymore

🏴‍☠️

Sharon: How was school, Stanley?

Stan: It's not school! It's a freakin' joke. We're not even learning anything.

Sharon: I know this has all been really hard on you, Stanley. Do you wanna talk about it?

Stan: No, I'm fine, Mom! You know, I'm strong. I'm just worried about how this is all affecting weaker kids like, you know, like Butters

(…)

Stan: God dammit! [looks out the window and sees Death there. Stan tries one more time to fill the shell, but the gust of air knocks him to the ground. Stan gets right back up to try again]

Kyle: Dude, just let it go.

Stan: No, Kyle, we can't let Butters down!

Kyle: [walks up to Stan] Stan, are you sure this is about Butters? 'Cause you seem really desperate to build a bear

(…)

Stan: You guys were right, okay? This hasn't been about Butters. I've been acting like this because I can't take these shutdowns anymore, and I'm scared what it's doing to me! I'm looking for whom to blame. Saying I'm trying to help people to make myself feel better because the truth is... I just wanna have fun again. [Cartman looks at him] I wanted to see that I could go out in the world and do things that I used to do, but I can't. I'm not any better, and I don't care any more than anyone else. And I did all this [tears well up in his eyes] because I just want my life back! I just want my life back... [begins to weep silently. Cartman's look softens. He looks at the shredder, at the boys, then steps down from the shredder, carries the pangolin out of the store, and gives it to the Chief Scientist]

🏴‍☠️

Trouble with Confrontation + Trouble with Suppressing Heavy Subject Matter due to Inferior Te : IXFP

Stan would sometimes have trouble with confrontation and being direct with his loved ones. While he has exhibited great Te when he’s leading a group and pointing out irrational takes within others, he has a hard time shutting down his emotions when he’s in specific situations that genuinely make him emotionally uncomfortable.

Kyle: What are you doing?

Stan: Something I should have done a long time ago. [walks out the door and into the night]

Bebe's house, night. Stan walks towards the front door, looks around, and knocks three times. No response, so he knocks again. The door opens and Bebe appears

Stan: Bebe, you need to go talk to Wendy for me right now! [Bebe rolls her eyes and sighs] All this time I've been trying to have my friends do all the talking for me! Now I realize I need her friends to do it! Tell her I love her!

Bebe: Stan, why don't you show her you love her? If you really want Wendy back, try doing the most romantic thing you can think of.

Stan: [thinks] Okay, so what's the most romantic thing I can think of?

🏴‍☠️

Cartman: It's probably best you trick or treat with someone else this year.

Kenny: (But we always trick or treat together)

Stan: (nervously) Yeah, but that's just it, Kenny. To use a scooter, you have to have a (quivering) phone and... I mean, if we're waiting for you, we're gonna be as slow as all the other kids. It's... like, you know?

Kenny: (Guys, please.)

Cartman: Look, Kenny, I always told you that one day, being poor was gonna catch up with you. Okay? But you didn't wanna listen. You just kept on being poor, and now it's Halloween and you don't have a cell phone.

Kyle: Okay, okay. Cartman, that's not the point.

Cartman: He needs to hear this, Kyle. You know, people are just poor, and they think it's not gonna come back to bite them in the ass.

Kyle: That's enough, dude!

Stan: We're sorry, Kenny. It's just... This awesome plan to get shitloads of candy doesn't... work with... you. [Kenny looks around and reads the mood, then takes his pail and leaves the house

🏴‍☠️

Kyle: [looks around] Stan? [sees him and follows] Stan, where are you going?

Stan: I can't, I just can't.

Kyle: Dude, he needs us right now.

Stan: [turns around] I can't see him like that, Kyle. All those hoses and wires. He's a kid, dude. He's s'posed to be running around and laughing.

Kyle: I, I know it's tough but- [Stan turns away] Look at me! [turns him back around] I know it's tough, okay?! I know! But we have to be tough right now!

Stan: And what are we supposed to do, huh?! Stand in that room and keep making small talk?! Make believe like everything's okay?! I CAN'T DO IT!

Kyle: Look, however hard you think it for you, it's a lot harder for him!

Stan: [turns around and walks away] Just leave me alone!

Kyle: Stan, you can't leave!

Stan: [turns once more, with tears in his eyes] I'm not the one who's leaving, he is! [turns and leaves. Kyle turns to go back to the hospital, but sighs silently

🏴‍☠️

Stan: All right, I'm gonna go kick his ass. [leaves]

Cartman: Yeah! Go Stan! Go Stan! [then, when Stan is gone, softly] All right, I've got five bucks on the other kid. Who wants in?

Gary: [looks up as Stan approaches] Oh hey there! You wanna kick the ball around with me?

Stan: No. I'm... I'm gonna kick your ass.

Gary: Excuse me?

Stan: I'm gonna kick your ass... [glances back] bitch

Gary: How come you wanna fight me? ...Oh, I get it. I'm the new kid. [sigh] Yeah, I guess maybe I deserve it.

Stan: [off guard] Huh?

Gary: It's really tough being in a totally new place, but I think all you guys are really cool so... I understand if there's initiation rites.

Stan: Dude, stop it

(…)

Kyle: What happened? [Stan glances back, then looks at Kyle]

Stan: I'm... [stares back at Gary] going over to his house for dinner tonight.

Tolkien: What?! How did that happen?

Stan: [stammering] He's a really nice kid.

Cartman: You were supposed to kick his ass, not lick his butthole

🏴‍☠️

Great Leadership Skills due to Te (Extroverted Thinking) : XXFP

Has exhibited stellar results-oriented leadership.

Cherokee Hair Tampons: Was successfully able to get the whole town to help him steal Cartman’s kidney.

Fun with Veal: Was successfully able to shut down the veal industry with his friends, with Cartman’s assistance (who is also a Te user).

Whale Whores: Was a well-respected, effective pirate leader for a group of adults.

Butterballs: Despite its downfall, he *was* able to get the entire school to work together to create an anti-bullying video with a surprising amount of choreography, camera work, vocal arrangements and staging. Props to him.

ADDITIONAL INFO

His roleplaying fantasies and even superhero persona is grounded in reality (Se). He rarely ever entertains Ne-based fantasies, more so likely to be critical of it.

Stan’s addictive traits *could* be Se-related, but it’s important to make the distinction that having addictions doesn’t automaticaly mean that one’s a Se user.

Stan and Cartman share the exact same functions but in reverse, so it’s interesting seeing how Cartman brings out Stan’s inferior function in morally questionable situations.

Stan’s hoarding tendencies *could* be tied down to his Fi, but like I said before, functions don’t automatically correlate to mental health symptoms.

Stan’s constant search of his identity is very Fi-fueled, not Fe.

Stan would sometimes get in tunnel vision (Fi + Ni) as shown in Butterballs and Scause for Applause.

Stan’s protective nature over Kyle and loved ones is indeed very Fi-motivated.

#hachichimitsu’s cognitive functions series #south park #stan marsh #hachichimeta #long post #south park meta #analysis #does it really count as an analysis if its mostly just a compilation of signature moments he does w slight typology commentary?#compilation

36 notes · View notes