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dweetwise · 5 years ago

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Picture with me. Mt Ormond Legion gets the map. They see what they think is a new cosmetic of like a fur coat. They go to taunt. An actual bear rears up and looks at them. Legion bolts and does not want to be injured by a grizzly. Lets survivors know from out of stabbing distance of the bear.

[bless u anon for feeding my dbd crack needs. you didn’t say which legion you wanted so have some rat boy frank!]

swearing ahead! also ooc but what else is new lol

Frank VS bear: ficlet/crack

Seeing the mist fade as he’s teleported into a trial, the familiar chilly mountain air seeps though Frank’s mask. He spins his knife and hums in content, glancing around at the grounds of the ski lodge he knows like the back of his hand.

“Fuck yeah, home advantage,” Frank grins to himself, starting the trek through the thin layer of snow towards the far side of the map where his annoying little survivor prey usually spawn.

He cuts through a jungle gym, slowing down once he spots something through the window. Is that a fucking fur jacket? Frank suppresses a snicker while imagining which of the survivor pricks the new outfit belongs to. Maybe bird boy wanted to look even more like a caveman? Or the sleazy gambler thought it’d go well with his trashy fucking sequin pants?

He doesn’t get any answers, as the person doesn’t seem to be moving, just crouching a ways off from the window trying to hide. He knows his heartbeat range is tiny, courtesy of the Doc’s teachings, so maybe the fucker has spine chill? Frank sidesteps the wall, walking backwards around the corner so as not to alert the skittish survivor.

“Hey fuckface, the 50′s called--” Frank taunts, finally turning around and raising his knife, ready to surprise the living shit out of--

Frank’s grin drops as he comes face to face with a fucking bear holy fucking shit! The bear growls before standing up on its hind legs and roaring--

Frank nearly shits his pants and scurries through the window in a frenzy, dropping his weapon while fumbling through the opening in a panic. He bolts out of the jungle gym, sprinting towards the other side of the map as fast as his legs will carry him.

His heart is pounding in his ears and he has no idea if the bear is following him. Frank braves a glance over his shoulder and-- “Shit!” --trips over some inconveniently placed rubble, landing flat on his face in the snow with his mask falling off from the impact and sliding away on the icy ground. Fuck! Fuck! Frank looks up, frantically trying to spot the animal chasing him, but ends up freezing from mortification instead.

Not even five feet to his side, three survivors are crouching beside a generator, having stopped dead in their repairs to stare at him with varying levels of disbelief. For a few painful seconds Frank just awkwardly stares back at the familiar faces of fellow Ormondian Jeff, that tired bitch, Quentin, and wannabe Oprah--Jane? The silence is uncomfortable as nobody moves a muscle, the only sound being the slow putter from the generator.

“AHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Quentin, the little shit, finally bursts out and actually doubles over from laughter beside the machine. Frank feels his rage flare up and fuck that bitch is getting stabbed-- “Hey kid, you alright?” Jeff offers and approaches Frank, extending a hand to help the other up. Frank snaps out of it and springs to his feet, reminded of the impending doom of the bear chasing him. “Bear! BEAR!!!” Frank yells, grabbing the bearded man by the shoulders and shaking him violently. “Stop insulting him, you homophobic piece of--” Jane starts angrily, forcefully yanking Frank off of the artist. “No you dumb bitch, an actual grizzly! It almost fucking ate me!” Frank explains in panic, slapping at the woman’s arm until she lets him go. “What the heck are you on about??” Jane demands, rubbing at her arm where Frank landed a decent punch. “He’s probably tripping,” Quentin deadpans, having recovered from his laughing fit and now back on the generator. “You know, on more than his own feet,” he adds, snickering. “Shut the fuck up Smith--” ”Where did you see the bear?” Jeff asks with a serious tone, placing a calming hand on Frank’s shoulder. Frank recoils away from the touch in disgust. ”On the other side of the lodge, near... I think by the snow cannon,” Frank explains, wracking his panicked brain for information. ”Would you show me?” Jeff asks. ”Hell no! I ain’t getting eaten!” Frank protests angrily. ”Like it'd want your skinny ass anyway,” Quentin quips. Frank whips around, ready to throw fists, when Jeff fucking touches him again ugh-- ”We’ll try to spot it from the lodge balcony where it’s safe,” Jeff explains, reassuring hand on Franks bicep and shooting a warning look Quentin’s way. ”Jeff why are you humoring him? Surely it’s a trap,” Jane demands, hands on her hips and giving Frank the stink eye. ”Can’t you see how scared he is?” Jeff argues. ”I’m not fucking scared--” Frank starts, blood boiling and face heating up in embarrassment. “You guys work on the gens on this side while we check it out,” Jeff again interrupts his tantrum, leading Frank to the lodge with a strong grip on his arm. Frank doesn’t protest (much), kind of glad to be rid of the two bitches by the gen.

He follows Jeff to the second floor of the lodge, and soon they’re looking around for the bear from the balcony. Frank spots it, almost at the exact same location as before, frantically pulling at Jeff’s sleeve and pointing at the animal.

“Holy shit,” Jeff says, astonished. “Why did the entity put a bear here?” “I don’t fucking know! What the fuck are we gonna do?? I can’t kill you or the bear, I dropped my knife earlier!" Frank rambles angrily. “I don’t think you’re supposed to kill anything,” Jeff says, thoughtful. “You know, there’s only three of us in the trial today.” Before Frank has an opportunity to demand what the fuck Jeff is on about, the man says something that makes his blood run cold: ”I think the bear is the killer. And you’re... a survivor.” “Bull-fucking-shit I’m a pussy survivor!” Frank protests angrily. “And even if I was--which I’m not... why?” “Entity parenting?” Jeff suggests. “It’s probably sick of you being a brat.” “I fucking hate you,” Frank says, giving his dirtiest glare. “The second I get my knife back--” “Sure kid,” Jeff says and has the audacity to smile. “Now let’s go find the others.”

They find Quentin and Jane on a different generator than before. Jeff explains the situation, causing Quentin to, predictably, burst out in laughter.

“It’s not fucking funny--” Frank hisses. “Oh my god I’m so done with this entity bullshit,” Jane sighs tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What am I even supposed to do!?” Frank demands, crossing his arms and staring at the trio with barely concealed hatred. “You’re supposed to help us out with wholesome magical teamwork!” Quentin beams, clearly getting off on his misery. “Or y’know, get mauled to death by the grizzly. Your choice.” “Quentin, stop picking a fight and show Frank how to fix the gen. Me and Jane will handle the ones that are closer to the bear,” Jeff decides. “Fuck no I ain’t staying with this cunt!” Frank exclaims, mortified. “Works for me,” Quentin shrugs, ignoring Frank and merely offering a wave as Jeff and Jane take off.

After Frank reluctantly listens to Quentin’s half-assed instructions and crouches down to touch the generator in disgust, the annoying teen thankfully shuts up. For a while Frank tries his best to stay focused on the machine, his leg jumping in pent-up energy as his thoughts flutter between the threat of the bear, his rage for the entity’s stunt, the uncertainty of what’s to come after this trial--

“Motherfucker!” Frank curses at the machine as it explodes under his hands. “You know,” Quentin says absently, not even acknowledging his failure. “You should ditch the fugly mask more often. Makes you almost tolerable to look at,” he challenges with a smirk. “Maybe you should have it, fuck knows you need it more with a mug like that,” Frank shoots back without missing a beat, ducking behind the generator to hide a grin. His foot stops twitching and he realizes it’s much easier to focus when he has someone to banter with.

Later, when the stupid generators are done and there’s no sign of the bear, they regroup with Jeff and Jane (ugh) in an already opened exit. Frank grimaces as Jeff tries to give him some cringy heartfelt compliment, before flipping Jane off when the woman tries to start an apology. Jane huffs in annoyance while Jeff merely chuckles, leading Jane into the exit, both of them disappearing into the void.

“I wonder what’s gonna happen once you get out,” Quentin muses, leaning against the gate panel and not seeming in any hurry to leave. “You think this was a one-off?” “I sure fucking hope so,” Frank mutters, not eager to repeat this dumb practical joke of the entity. “You didn’t actually do terrible today, rat boy,” Quentin quips with a grin. “Says the raccoon,” Frank mutters, turning away as he feels his neck heating up from a single half-assed compliment. Where’s his fucking mask when you need it?? “Eh, raccoons are kinda cute. I’ll take it,” Quentin says, thankfully ignoring his embarrassment. “More like stinky and a pain in the ass.” ”None of those are mutually exclusive,” Quentin jokes, before looking back into the snowy map in thought. “Going back for your mask still?” he asks, with barely concealed... worry? ”Nah, Susie’ll make another,” Frank remarks, ignoring the other’s sudden interest in his well-being. “Maybe you should do this more often,” Quentin says. “Get rid of the mask and, y’know, stabbing. Might even make some friends.” “I don’t need friends,” Frank scoffs. He has his Legion, why would he want to play family with the survivors?

Quentin--smirks?--which is definitely not the reaction Frank was anticipating. Frank suddenly realizes he’s been standing way too close to Quentin for acceptable bro-range and the other is looking at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Frank feels his face heat up and an insult dies on his tongue. Quentin opens his mouth to say something, but seems to notice something behind Frank as his eyes go comically wide.

“FUCK, THE BEAR!!” Quentin yells and Frank bearly has time to turn around to see the massive animal come barreling towards them before Quentin is pulling on his jacket, making them both stumble and nearly trip over each other as they fall into the safety of the exit gate threshold.

[is frank a) a bi disaster b) terrible at making friends or c) all of the above? also where do i sign to let jeff adopt legion]

#frank morrison #quentin smith #morrismith #kinda #dbd legion #dbd #dead by daylight #dbd fanfic #request #dweetwrites

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junker-town · 7 years ago

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2021 NBA player rankings, Nos. 90-81: Will players like DeAndre Jordan be valuable in 4 years?

We argue about the Clippers’ center’s place in the game in four years, plus gamble on some young players for not the first time.

This was the point in our countdown of the 101 best players in the NBA in four years where strategies began to diverge. Some of us chose established players today that we think will age decently. Others swung for the fences with rookies and other younger players.

The end result was a lively section of the countdown, concluding with a fascinating discussion at No. 81.

90. Dario Saric

We don’t really know what will happen in four minutes, let alone four years. But we can make educated guesses — and totally outlandish ones.

I’d like to think that it’s a safe bet to forecast a 23-year-old, 6’10 forward who averaged 13 points, six rebounds, and two assists per game en route to All-Rookie first-team honors as one of the league’s top 100 players in four years.

— Chris Greenberg

Our reactions

TIM CATO: I bet in 2021, Saric is better than at least one of the Sixers we picked ahead of him. There’s too much of a boom-or-bust with Simmons and Embiid for that not to be true.

I don’t even know if I actually believe that, but making grandiose predictions like that is what this exercise is designed for, so let’s do it.

TOM ZILLER: If I start calling Saric the Croatian Gallinari, will Sixersland get mad again? Or is that a compliment?

89. Dennis Schroder

If Dennis Schroder isn’t the safest pick at No. 89 in this draft, he did something wrong.

— Kristian Winfield

Our reactions

JEFF SIEGEL, PEACHTREE HOOPS: Already one of the top 101 players in the game, has Schroder topped out as a low-tier starting point guard, or will he make another leap? Better shooting and creating for others would go a long way to pushing him up the list.

TIM CATO: He’s fine. This pick is fine. I like his hair.

MATT ELLENTUCK: Aggressively fine, still probably picked too late in this draft. Anyway, yeah, great hair.

TOM ZILLER: Barring a trade, he’s going to spend at least the next few years on an atrocious team that no one outside of Atlanta watches in the best of times. Are we going to remember Dennis Schroder’s name in four years?

CHRIS GREENBERG: Provided he gets heated with a more famous opponent during the Hawks’ unremarkable playoff appearances, we will certainly remember his name. For about three weeks every April.

88. Hassan Whiteside

Whiteside will be 32 in 2021 but the Miami sunshine is going to preserve him a little longer. Plus, he didn’t really start the NBA grind until 2015, so he’ll have some legs left. I have more confidence that Whiteside, king of NBA Snapchat, will be more relevant in the NBA in 2021 than Snapchat will be.

— Whitney Medworth

Our reactions

MIKE PRADA: Four years is plenty of time to discover that parrot’s true killer.

I suspect Heat fans will be mad about this ranking, but it seems about right to me. Tough to know how much longevity he’ll have.

MATT PINEDA, HOT HOT HOOPS: Whiteside risks getting left behind by centers that can shoot and even guard the perimeter. Luckily for him, he already got his payday.

TOM ZILLER: I am disappointed in myself that I didn’t pick Whiteside in the top 25.

TIM CATO: Remember when he was reportedly favoring the Mavericks in free agency last summer? El em ay oh.

MIKE PRADA: Did you really just spell that out?

87. Donovan Mitchell

As frequently and liberally as we picked from these 2017 rookies (FORESHADOWING!), I’m surprised Mitchell didn’t get snapped up earlier than this. He was a steals machine in Louisville who thrived shooting tons of threes and has a bit of an inside game, too. He’s a more athletic Damian Lillard if he hits his peak, albeit maybe without quite the same scoring knack. He showed all those skills off in summer league, and it really looks like Utah has their point guard of the future here.

-Tim Cato

Our reactions

TOM ZILLER: Yeah, why wouldn’t you be surprised that a fringe lottery pick who will be coming off his rookie deal in four years and hasn’t played a single minute in the NBA went behind a few dozen All-NBA and All-Star performers in their primes in an every-player draft? A real shocker.

(Yes, I’m salty about how many 2017 draft picks went in this exercise. As Cato says: FORESHADOWING.)

TIM CATO: FINE, BE A HATER. Riding or dying with Mitchell myself.

MYCHAL LOWMAN, SLC DUNK: This ranking is too low. Mitchell will have turned into one of the league's top 30 players by 2021, jumping the depth chart and taking over Rodney Hood's starting spot in his rookie year.

MATT ELLENTUCK: Will he be a point guard, though? Or will he stay on the wing? Finding his position will take some time, though there’s a lot to like about a long-wingspanny defender.

86. Julius Randle

Julius Randle has the physical tools to be a nightmare on both sides of the court. It will come down to how much he can improve his game over these crucial years.

The good news is that he’s only 22. I’ve been going off optimism this whole draft and I’m not stopping here. I think the ceiling is the roof and that we haven’t seen the best of Randle just yet.

-Kofie Yeboah

Our reactions

DREW GARRISON, SILVER SCREEN AND ROLL: Randle being this low is disappointing. It reflects a clear lack of confidence in his ability to progress to much beyond what he is today.

ZITO MADU: I just really hope he stops running head-first into defenders as a way to create separation. I understand playing bully basketball, but he needs to add some finesse.

TIM CATO: But I thought Randle was already the 17th-best player in the NBA? (Sorry, Prada, you get to make fun of my picks in 2021.)

MIKE PRADA: Ahem, 14th. Get it right.

I remain skeptical of power forwards that lack shooting range and can’t protect the rim. It’s just too hard to create the right kind of lineup to mask both of those flaws, and Randle isn’t nearly good enough to earn the privilege of a team reconstructing itself around him. I want him to be good because he’s fun to watch, but I don’t see it.

TOM ZILLER: Oh now Prada is skeptical of Young Carl Landry!

MATT ELLENTUCK: I want Randle to grow like two inches and suddenly protect the rim. I just don’t see it happening. Maybe he’ll be a top-100 2K player, though.

85. Harrison Barnes

Barnes was actually quite solid in Dallas last year and should play even more at power forward (his best position) with Dirk Nowitzki retiring someday. A No. 85 ranking puts you at essentially 17th-team All-NBA level, which seems about right for him for the next few years.

-Mike Prada

Our reactions

TOM ZILLER: Readers will not believe some of the names that went higher than Harrison Barnes.

TIM CATO: I should have drafted him a while ago. This is way too low for someone who’s a gym rat’s gym rat, enough that Dirk has said how impressed he is by it. He’ll maybe never shoot enough free throws or threes to be a top-50 player, but he’s only 25 and he certainly still has room to grow.

MATT ELLENTUCK: I feel guilty that Barnes slipped this low. But I just love my next pick too much.

MIKE PRADA: OK let’s settle down a second. Barnes, even at his best last year, was decidedly “fine.” We kinda know that’s who he is at this point. That puts you around this range and maybe a little higher, but not like 30 spots higher.

ZITO MADU: But is he Kevin Durant? No? That’s all that matters.

CHRIS GREENBERG: The real Harrison Barnes will never live up to the possibility of Harrison Barnes.

84. Robert Covington

THIS IS MY FAVORITE PICK IN THIS ENTIRE DRAFT.

How can you not love the Robert Covington story? The man played college ball at Tennessee State, went undrafted, and is a better-than-league-average player in 2017. The Process gave him a chance and he took it and ran.

It’s not that wild to think that in four years, at 30 years old, Covington will have it all figured out. He was seventh in RPM among small forwards last season, and he’ll be playing beside Ben Simmons and Markelle Fultz next year.

I believe in RoCo.

-Matt Ellentuck

Our reactions

TIM CATO: This is a good sleeper pick for a really underrated player.

MIKE PRADA: Settle down, Matt. It’s Robert Covington. He’s fine and this is fine.

TOM ZILLER: Odds are he’ll be a starter because of his skills and the Sixers’ need for shooting around Ben Simmons. The downside is that we’ve seen plus two-guards fade away after an injury or a down season before. I will remember you, Kelenna Azubuike and Brandon Rush. It’s the most easily replaceable position. There’s a risk here.

83. Jonathan Isaac

Isaac might never a big scorer, but he’s the type of player who just helps you win games. He can defend anyone, hit a spot-up jump shot, and has the athleticism to get out in transition. The world demands an Aaron Gordon-Isaac front court in Orlando.

-Ricky O’Donnell

Our reactions

MATT ELLENTUCK: I love Isaac as a prospect, and think he should have been in top-three consideration in this year’s draft. He’s a real project, though, and I don’t think four years from now he’ll be this good.

CORY HUTSON, ORLANDO PINSTRIPED POST: This feels about right for an offensively limited, defensively outstanding forward, if that turns out to be his destiny.

TOM ZILLER: This is the second 2017 draftee picked in our draft. Don’t worry, there will be plenty more.

82. Avery Bradley

Avery Bradley will only improve now that he plays for a Detroit team giving him an even bigger role. He’s a solid role player who will be able to give a lot of teams what they need, even several years down the line.

-John Ketchum

Our reactions

LAZARUS JACKSON, DETROIT BAD BOYS: Pistons fans are happy with Avery Bradley, but when 2021 rolls around, they'll wish he'd been showing Donovan Mitchell the ropes for the last four years.

CHRIS GREENBERG: Bradley’s perimeter defense may be less notable on a lesser team (sorry Pistons) than the Celtics, but he also developed into Boston’s low-key best spot-up shooter before being traded. Watch for his offense to get more attention in Detroit.

TOM ZILLER: I’m on board with Avery Bradley for the long term.

81. DeAndre Jordan

Jordan is a 29-year-old All-NBA center. He’s missed eight games in the past seven years. He does certain things very well, and he knows what they are. Some team is going to have to decide to pay him next summer, and I think it’ll be a good investment.

-Tom Ziller

Our reactions

LUCAS HANN, CLIPS NATION: This is a fair (or even high) spot for Jordan, who will be 33 in 2021 and will likely follow a similar athletic decline to Tyson Chandler's.

MIKE PRADA: A safe pick, but will the NBA be a friendly place in 2021 for centers with no range and abhorrent free-throw percentages? If yes, this is too low. If not, it’s possible players like DAJ will go extinct like traditional low-post scorers are today.

TIM CATO: I don’t think rim protection is going anywhere, though.

MIKE PRADA: Is DeAndre even that amazing at that, though? He allowed 50.1 percent shooting at the rim last year, which is good, but well behind the elite players. He was higher two years ago, but closer to his 2016-17 levels the two years before that. I’m not saying he’s a bad rim protector, but that’s where Jordan derives most of his current value. That’s why I am curious to see how he evolves as the league continues to change.

TIM CATO: In regards to his shot blocking, that’s fair. But even the most modern offenses don’t require constant five-out lineups. More centers will shoot threes, but I don’t believe all the best centers will need to as a requirement. Four-out with a big-man roller is still a perfectly acceptable offense that I really don’t think is headed towards extinction.

To steal an Erik Spoelstra term, the vertical spacing that bouncy, lob-finishing big men provide can still be just as important as a dead-eye shooter in the corner.

MIKE PRADA: Yeah, there’s a good chance it still will. Seventy-thirty in his favor, I’d say. Just remember how much the game changed stylistically from 2013 to 2017. We could see another revolution.

INTRO | FULL LIST | TOP 100 OF 2017 | HOW WE DID IN 2013 | SNUBS | 101-91 | 80-71 | 70-61 | 60-51 | 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1 | THE CASES FOR NO. 1

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