#gym clothing australia | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

khaylin27 · 7 months ago

Text

Down Bad

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

series: the tortured poets department

synopsis: daniel's childhood best friend, y/n l/n, has always been by his side no matter what. over time she started developing feelings for the driver but it was one sided love.

warnings: one sided love, mentions of depression and suicide

author's note: i knew this song was for daniel because of the tiktok edits of this song with him 😭 hope y'all enjoy!

Did you really beam me up? In a cloud of sparkling dust Just to do experiments on Tell me I was the chosen one

You and Daniel grew up living next to each other in Perth, Australia. Your parents were close with Daniel's so it was obvious you two would be close. Your family would spend weekends supporting Daniel in his karting and Formula 3 days.

Once Daniel got into Formula 1, he would invite you to races. You would always say yes because he was your best friend and you had feelings for him. Of course he didn't know because you didn't want to distract him from getting a World Champion title.

Every time you were invited to a race, Daniel would take you to F1 events. He would beam you up as his girl friend. Not the girl he was dating but a girl that he's been childhood friends with.

It hurt you so much when he would tell people you were just friends. You wanted to be more but you didn't want to distract him from getting a World Champion title. You were in a cloud of sparkling dust as you ignored the questions people asked about you two.

"Hey Y/N," Daniel calls your name. You were currently watching the mechanics fix Daniel's car. "Do you mind if I hold you like this?" Daniel puts your back on his chest as he wraps his arms around your waist.

You blush by this interaction. Daniel has never been this close to you before. "What are you doing Daniel?" You giggle to hide your blushed cheeks.

"Just doing an experiment on you." He smiles at you while the cameras are on you. Daniel then kisses you on the cheek. "You're the chosen one." He whispers in your ear so the media couldn't hear what he was saying. You laugh at his whisper while he continues holding you like this.

Show me that this world is bigger than us Then sent me back where I came from For a moment I knew cosmic love

Later that day, Daniel won the Monaco Grand Prix. He was so happy about winning that he ran up to you and kissed you before going on the podium. You were happy at the moment because your best friend had won and kissed you. That high of happiest ended when Daniel did his post-race interviews.

"So Daniel, we saw that you kissed your best friend before going onto the podium. Are you and Y/N finally dating?" The interviewer asks Daniel.

Daniel smiles before he answers back to the interview. "Great question," He laughs and continues. "No we're not. It just felt right in the moment. She's my best friend and will always be that. She's always supported me through my F1 career and my passion to win a World Championship."

At the moment your whole world came crumbling down. It showed you that F1 and him winning a World Championship was bigger than your relationship with Daniel.

After the post-race interviews were over, Daniel went to his driver room to change into normal clothes. He then sees that you're crying. "Why are you crying Y/N?"

"You know you're a big jerk Daniel." More tears start falling as you continue to explain. "This whole weekend you've been playing with my feelings and I was thought you were trying to imply that you have the same feelings I do. But then you embarrass me to the whole world saying we're just friends."

Daniel watches you as tears continue to fall down your face. He didn't apologize or even comfort you. Instead he changes and leaves the room to head to his Monaco apartment. That night you decided to fly back home not wanting to celebrate with Daniel after his Monaco win.

For a moment you knew cosmic love, but it ended you being sent back to where you came from.

Now I'm down bad crying at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "What if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference."

ynfan @/yourusername posted an instagram story earlier today at the gym with taylor swift lyrics as the caption. she hasn't posted since daniel publicly embarrassed her by kissing her before stating in an interview that y/n was "just a friend."

user1 the taylor swift lyrics 💔

user2 SHE WAS SO DOWN BAD FOR DANIEL 😭

user3 is teenage petulance shading daniel for his insolent behavior during the monaco gp weekend?

user4 i think she did. daniel was publicly being affectionate to her this weekend to then saying she was "just a friend." friends don't do that to each other.

****

After the Monaco Grand Prix weekend, you've been hitting the gym nonstop. You would listen to Taylor Swift songs and cry while running on the treadmill. Once you got home to your Melbourne apartment, your mom called you to see how you were feeling.

"How are you feeling Y/N?" she asks while you were cooking lunch for yourself.

"I feel like I'm dying," You tell your mom with all honesty. "I've always supported Daniel even when I started developing feelings for him. I hoped that maybe he would feel that same way one day. But not having him in my life makes me want to die. It would make no difference." You start crying as you express your feelings to your mom.

"I wish I could hug you right now Y/N." The flight from Perth to Melbourne was 3 1/2 hours. "Your father and I hate seeing you get hurt by Daniel. We all thought you two would fall in love."

Down bad, waking up in blood Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up What if I can't have us. I might just not get up, I might stay

A couple hours later, you woke up from a nap to a nasty blood bath in the media.

f1news DANIEL RICCIARDO CONFIRMS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDHOOD FRIEND Y/N: During the Canadian GP weekend, the Australian driver was asked about Y/N. Her absence in the paddock has been noticed since the driver wasn't happy throughout the weekend. Ricciardo says "Y/N and I are not on speaking terms at the moment. I guess what I did really hurt her." The driver says with no remorse.

user1 who wouldn't be hurt if their childhood friend/crush just friend zones you while playing with your feelings?

user2 daniel please fix this 😭 i need you and y/n to be together again 🙏

user3 was monaco gp the last we'll ever see y/niel 😢 it didn't seem like he wanted to fix what he did.

user4 what if we don't get y/niel ever again 💔

****

After seeing that instagram post, you didn't feel like getting up. Daniel had no remorse for what he said to the press. You stayed on your bed the rest of the night crying over Daniel.

Did you take all my old clothes? Just to leave me here naked and alone In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now

Since your weekends were already reserved for when Daniel had races, you decided to fly back and forth to Perth to visit family. Every time you land in Perth it gelt like Daniel had taken your clothes. The old you. You felt naked and alone because you and Daniel would always come home together.

As you walk around the fields your parents owned. It felt so hollow without Daniel. You two would always walk around your parents' fields talking about the future. Daniel would talk about him winning multiple World Championships while you talked about starting a family with a certain man. He didn't know but that certain man was Daniel.

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's -

Coming back to Perth overtime became easy for you. It didn't bring you sorrow anymore instead it brought you happiness from all the memories you made with Daniel.

Every time you would go swimming in the ocean, it would bring you closer and closer to the memories you had with Daniel. All the times Daniel had some accidental indecent exposures. You two would laugh when someone saw Daniel being 'indecent.'

It felt wrong to say that it's over. But you were finally healing from the one sided love you had for Daniel.

I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded

yourusername I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it 🇦🇺🌊🦘

user1 MOTHER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?

yourfriend are you in perth? since when!?

yourusername yes i am ☺️ i reserved weekends a while back for other things but i ended up back home! yourfriend we need to hang out soon! we have lots of tea to catch up on. yourusername of course 💗

danielricciardo you look so romantic 😍

user2 how the hell do you think it's romantic leaving y/n stranded for months!? you haven't publicly apologized for your behavior to y/n. user3 and he seems like the person who wouldn't apologize privately as well.

Down bad (Like I lost my twin)

What if I can't have him (I'm done bad)

yourusername down bad like i lost my twin

taylorswift you're better off without him now

yourusername that's right @/taylorswift 😌🩶

user1 MOTHER CHOSE VIOLENCE TODAY

user2 they were my endgame 😓

user3 it's truly over when mother agrees with mother tay 😭

Down bad (Waving at the ship) What if I can't have him

danielricciardo down bad, waving at the ship - archives venice 2022

user1 DANIEL CHOSE VIOLENCE AS WELL

user2 we all know this archives post was an excuse to post y/n

user3 HOW CAN YOU POST Y/N BUT NOT EVEN APOLOGIZE TO HER!?!?

user4 god i hate men 🙄

tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb @c-losur3

#f1 #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #daniel riccardo imagine #red bull racing #visa cashapp rb

191 notes · View notes

activewearmanufacturer · 1 year ago

Text

Looking for a reliable activewear clothing manufacturer? Look no further than Activewear Manufacturer! Our products are made with premium quality materials at affordable prices, delivered directly from the USA. Contact us today to learn more about our bulk clothing options.

#activewear manufacturers in Sydney #activewear suppliers in Sydney #fitness apparel in Sydney #wholesale gym clothes in Sydney #running apparel in Sydney #sportswear manufacturers in australia #wholesale activewear in Sydney #private label activewear in Sydney #private label apparel manufacturers #activewear manufacturer #activewear manufacturers #activewear clothing manufacturers #activewear manufacturers australia #private label activewear manufacturer #activewear wholesale australia #private label activewear #activewear manufacturers usa #activewear manufacturer usa #activewear manufacturer australia

0 notes

dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year ago

Text

Declaration of Independence || LS2

Pairing: ex!Lando Norris x Piastri!Reader, Logan Sargeant x Piastri!Reader, Lando Norris x Carlos Sainz Jr Summary: When you find your boyfriend in the arms of his ex-team mate you realise all the rumours were true. With nothing keeping you in Monaco you head to your twin brother’s place in London before planning to return home to Australia. Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, sexual themes, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol WC: 8k

The phone rang for so long you thought it was going to go to voicemail but your younger brother must have caught it on the last ring. He could hardly talk as he panted from whatever exercise his personal trainer was putting him through and you stiffened your trembling lip, trying to sound as normal as possible.

“Jacky?”

You could almost see his forehead crumpling in confusion as the seconds ticked by before he answered. “What's wrong?”

“Shit,” you whispered as his protective tone triggered fresh tears and you heard him excuse himself from the gym citing ‘something’s wrong with my sister’. If only he knew how true that was. “I, um, need a favour.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” he answered instantly as a door banged shut at his end of the line.

Overhead you heard the last call for the flight out of Nice you had bought a last minute ticket for and you shoved your phone between your ear and shoulder so you could fish your passport and boarding pass from your handbag. “Can I crash on your couch for a few days? Just until I can organise a flight home?”

“Home…what do you mean home?” Oscar asked, a moment before the request for a facetime popped up. His red and sweaty face filled your screen and you were sure yours looked similar from all the crying you had done on the drive from Monaco. “Are you at the airport? Where’s Lando?”

You shook your head as you tried to think of the words but they failed to emerge as you walked through the bridge to the plane that was waiting for you. “I…can I stay? Please.”

Worry filled his face but he nodded. Of course you could stay with him, you never had to ask, you were family. “I have a meeting with Zac soon but send me your flight number and I’ll send someone to pick you up.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can get a taxi.”

“No way. If it wasn’t Zac I promise I would be there, sis.”

“I know,” you sniffled, seeing you were at the plane door. “I’ve gotta go but thank you.”

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” Oscar said softly, pity in his eyes. “Love you.”

“You too, Jacky.”

At first glance you thought maybe Oscar had forgotten to organise a ride for you. Dozens of suited chauffeurs held little signs up with names but none of them were yours and you started to make your way in the other direction only to find a familiar face.

“Hey,” Logan greeted with a smile, tugging the cord of your hoodie you were hiding under. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to pick up a suit and a whiteboard.”

You stepped into his open arms with a small chuckle that lacked its usual energy. “I suppose I can forgive you. I’m sorry you were roped into this. Isn’t this way below your pay grade?”

“Wait, I could get paid for this?”

You stepped back with a laugh and patted your pockets. “I only have a couple of euros on me, so you are out of luck there.”

He started to laugh before looking around you and saw you had no luggage with you. “I thought you were coming to stay with Oscar?”

“I, um, left in a hurry,” you said as your chest tightened again and you looked at the floor. The thought of returning to the bedroom and packing a bag had your stomach turning. “I’ll get some clothes later today.”

You could still see them, their bodies writhing between the sheets you had slept in only hours earlier. You had been hurt, finding Lando in the arms of another, but the real shock had been when he pulled away at your gasp and you saw Carlos’ dark head of hair on your pillow. The man you had welcomed as a friend into your home, the man you had been on double dates with countless times, was fucking your boyfriend - or being fucked by - you couldn’t quite tell from where you stood frozen in the doorway.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Logan said quietly, tucking you into his side as he saw your waterline begin to fill in the silence. The tears slowly leaked down your cheeks as he guided you out of the terminal and to his car, belting you in when you couldn’t move for fear you would fall apart. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I can’t,” you admitted as you shook your head and pulled your hoodie back now that you were behind tinted glass. You had learned quickly just how many people followed and photographed F1 drivers and didn’t want to find yourself on the gossip pages again just yet, or ever.

He sighed but gave you a nod before turning the engine on. “Well, when you are ready, I’m here.”

“No, Lo, I can’t tell anyone, ever. I signed an NDA.”

“Seriously?” He put the car back in neutral and pulled the handbrake as he swivelled in his chair to face you as you confirmed it with a short nod. “What the fuck. Does Oscar know?”

“Not yet. It’s…complicated.”

Logan bit his lip as he fought the urge to ask more questions but he had known you long enough to know you wouldn’t be pressed on a matter. You were blunt that way, just like your brother - so he pushed the matter from his mind and started the journey to the city where Oscar shared an apartment with Lily.

“If it gets cramped, you can always hang out at my place. I won’t be there much in the day and I know Lily is studying for her exams at the moment. Oscar’s been whining that he hardly sees her face; it's always buried in a textbook.”

“It’s only for a few days, until I can find a flight home,” you said with a shrug. You didn’t exactly want to return to Australia but there weren’t any other immediate plans that came to mind. Oscar worked with Lando, so hanging out with him in the garage like you used to gave you as much excitement as getting your fingernails ripped off.

Logan’s lips turned down at the news as he pulled up to the modern apartment block Oscar had moved into when he settled in the city. “Have my address, just in case - or you can call and I’ll pick you up.”

You grabbed your phone from your handbag and sighed when you found the battery dead. “Shit.”

A click had you look up as Logan grabbed your hand and you wriggled at the ticklish feel of his pen inking your skin. “Problem solved,” he smiled as he clicked the pen shut.

“Old school,” you teased as you twisted your hand to read the address in a suburb not too far from Oscar’s. “Thank you, Lo.”

His eyes softened as you leaned across the console and kissed his cheek before getting out of the car. “Anytime. Seriously, I’m here if you need anything.”

“I know.” You walked around to his window that he had wound down and rested your hands on the trim. “I’m glad Jacky has a friend like you.”

“I didn’t do this for him. Technically you were my friend first.”

You smiled at the memory, how Oscar had called you a traitor for hanging out with his ‘enemy’ back in F3 only for the two to end up becoming close friends after their fight for the championship. “Friends huh? I hope you didn’t kiss him too,” you joked before the image resurfaced of Lando and Carlos kissing in your bed and you pushed away from the car, missing the way his eyes lingered on your lips. “Uh, I should go. Thanks again, Logan.”

You berated yourself the entire way to the one bedroom apartment on the top floor. It was a silly joke. You shouldn’t have even brought up the kiss, it wasn’t something you had really thought about in the last two years - when you were happy with Lando. It had just been a summer thing that happened after he moved to F2 but nothing had come of it.

If you were honest with yourself you would admit you ran away. You had caught feelings for Oscar’s friend and ran the moment you realised it. Incidentally, it led you straight to Lando. And look how that turned out.

“Hey, you’re here! Sorry, I just need to run to the library but make yourself at home!” Lily greeted in a rush as she opened the door, tangling her arms in her coat as she tried to hug you at the same time. “Oscar shouldn’t be too far away. He’s picking up Thai for dinner too, so text him what you want. See you soon.”

Your goodbye drifted down the stairs with Lily and you closed the door to see the kitchen table was strewn with textbooks and it overflowed into the living room. You could hardly see the coffee table under the stack of books for her Masters but you moved some that were on the couch aside and settled in with a sigh.

Lando rushed off the bed, pulling the sheet loosely around his body but it bared Carlos completely and you stepped back at the fast approach. You couldn’t stop staring, a thousand questions running through your mind but there was only one that seemed to be repeating.

“Why?” You should have known at that point how little the physical relationship had meant to you because it wasn’t the fact he had cheated on you that hurt the most. It was the fact he never told you the truth - you were meant to be friends first and foremost - he could have come out to you and you would have accepted him as he was. “Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?”

Lando’s hands entwined with the sheets, nervously twisting in the material as he hung his head. “No one is allowed to know.”

Your eyes darted to Carlos as he pulled his boxers up and stepped up to Lando’s side, a large hand low on his back, supportingly. “No one can know. Do you understand?”

“No, I don’t understand. I don’t understand what the fuck is happening!” Your breaths came too quick, the room starting to sway until Lando caught you and guided you out of the room to the couch. His voice murmured apologies quietly with each step but it felt like you were listening from beneath the surface of turbulent waters.

“-both our careers.”

You blinked twice as the sound began to clear and you focused on Lando’s lips still swollen from Carlos’ kisses. “If anyone finds out then they will void our contracts.”

“So you were just using me? And Isabella?”

Carlos looked away at the mention of his ex-girlfriend and you wondered if she had been through this very same situation, or if she were blissfully unaware after their breakup. Had she been sat in front of the two of them, Carlos sitting closer and Lando the one on the other single seater couch observing quietly.

“No, fuck, no, it wasn’t like that,” Lando assured as he squeezed your hand. “I love you.”

You saw the hesitancy in his eyes that were frightened and sad, and everything else all at once. “But…you love him too.” You could do the maths and remembered the rumours that had been swirling since he joined McLaren. He had loved Carlos before he ever even met you. “I wish you told me, before I loved you too. I’m, uh, I’m just going to go now.”

“Wait, you can’t go,” Lando panicked as he gripped your hand tighter. “No one can find out.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Lan, it’s not my place, but you could have trusted me. I would have been happy for you,” you whispered as you wiped your eyes, “but now I’m just hurt and embarrassed.”

You started to pull away from Lando’s hands but he sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. Carlos shifted forward, ready to reach for Lando before your hard eyes cut to him and he froze. “I’m sorry,” Lando murmured reluctantly. “I know you wouldn’t say anything, and I know I’m an asshole to ask, but…”

You swallowed as you waited for the next punch to come but Lando shook his head as if it physically hurt to speak.

“We need you to sign some papers,” Carlos finished for him. “A non-disclosure agreement.”

A bitter laugh choked from your lungs. “You guys really had this all planned out didn’t you. And if I say no?” True panic widened Lando’s eyes and his chest filled with a shaky intake of air, making you feel guilty for even asking. With a resigned sigh you dropped your head in your hands and muttered, “I’ll sign whatever you need, then I’m gone.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“What do you want from me, Lan?” you asked, tugging your hair in exasperation. “What do you want me to do? Join your harem? Be your housekeeper? What!”

“I…I just don’t want to be alone again,” he whispered, a look of longing cast back to Carlos who flinched.

You stood up, watching him shrink back as you rose over him. “I’m not going to be your bed warmer because the person you actually want isn’t available full time. Now hurry up and get me the papers to sign while I pack.” You started to make your way to the bedroom before changing your mind and going to the home office where the computer and printer was along with Lando’s sim racer. “Actually, I’ll just start completely afresh, you can donate everything. Or bin it, I don’t really care.”

Lies. Lies. Lies. You did care. You were just too stubborn to let it show.

Dropping into the office chair, you opened your phone while you waited for the NDA knowing it wouldn’t be long since they were already prepared - like they had run through the scenario before. Tiktok seemed like a good way to waste some time until the second video was a CarLando edit and you nearly broke the screen as you slammed the phone down on the desk.

“You ok?” Lando asked as he popped his head in the room at the bang.

Spinning away from his sad blue eyes you dropped your head on the desk with a thud. “Don’t ever ask me that stupid question again.” He started to leave the room but he stopped at the choked sound that came from your throat. “You know, I would have been an ally - if you had just told me.”

“An ally?” he echoed as Carlos joined him in the doorway.

“But now…”

“You are an enemy?” Carlos asked, his tongue running across his teeth until Lando elbowed him.

“No, not an enemy, don’t put words in my mouth. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you like losing your jobs, I just can’t be happy for you either - not at my own expense.”

A bounce jolted you awake and your hand lashed out, slapping your brother’s arm where he had flopped down on the couch beside you. “Asshat.”

Oscar grinned but it faded quickly as he turned serious and took in your appearance - just what you needed with an already damaged self-esteem. “You okay?”

“Been better.”

“Want to send him a bag of dicks?”

“He’d probably like that,” you said with a snort before shaking your head. “No, I honestly just need something to take my mind off him.”

Oscar smiled sadly. “I would offer to go out tonight but Kim would probably kill me if I missed training in the morning, or god forbid the flight. How about we go and get absolutely trashed on Sunday after the race? You are still coming, right?”

You had debated avoiding the race entirely but when Oscar did the worst pair of sad puppy eyes you held your hand out and shook on it. “Deal. Now what’s for dinner?”

“I got a bit of everything since you didn’t text me what you wanted.”

“Phone’s dead, can I use your charger?”

“Yeah, it’s next to the bed,” he said as he jutted his head to the bedroom before pulling himself up with a groan and complaining about his ageing body.

“Shut up, I’m older than you are.”

“You were only born eight minutes before me,” Oscar complained as he led the way to the breakfast bar - the only space large enough to seat three people for dinner.

“As someone whose races come down to one thousandth of a second I think you of all people would understand eight minutes is quite substantial.”

“She’s got a point,” Lily said with a giggle as she set the plates.

“No she doesn’t, whose side are you on?”

“Oh, Jacky-boy, it was the first race of your life and I won. Lah-hoo-zah-her.”

Something warm and wet hit your face and you narrowed your eyes at Oscar as he picked up another string of pad thai. “Say that again?”

Lily sighed as your lips parted and you matched his smirk, knowing it was going to cause carnage but at least it was familiar territory and a good distraction. “Loser.”

Lily and Oscar had gone to bed hours ago but you couldn’t sleep. The sound of the city was louder than what you were used to and the couch wasn’t as comfortable when you weren’t completely exhausted.

Tossing the blanket back, you went to the bathroom and grimaced at your reflection. Dark circles hung under your puffy eyes and you were grateful that you had done some shopping after dinner. After making yourself a little more decent with a layer of makeup and some warm clothes you decided to take a walk to clear your head.

The streets only grew busier the further you walked from the nice neighbourhood and you found yourself in front of a pub that was overflowing with people despite it being so early in the week. You really shouldn’t have listened to the little voice in your head but you couldn’t argue that it had been one hell of a day so you agreed to treat yourself and stepped inside.

Logan woke to a loud knock at his door and rubbed his eyes until the blurry clock beside his bed came into focus. Stumbling from the bed with his phone in hand, he padded his way downstairs and wondered who could be showing up at 2am until he saw you swaying in the peephole. Ripping the door open he didn’t realise you were using it to balance and caught you as you fell into him.

“Hey handsome,” you slurred with a grin as you checked out his shirtless body, feeling the hard muscles across his torso, before turning to wave back to the cabbie parked on his driveway. “Told you he was real!”

“Go inside, sweetheart, I’ll be back in a minute.” Logan settled you back on your feet and kissed your forehead before stepping out of his townhouse, sauntering his way to the black cab who still had his window down waiting.

“Are you her brother?”

“No, Oscar’s a friend, so is she,” Logan assured the driver as he held out his iPhone to pay the fare. “Where did you pick her up from?”

“The Lion’s Head. She kept asking me to take her to her brother’s flat but had no phone or address. Found this one written on her hand though, lucky for her.”

“Yeah, lucky,” he sighed before patting the door panel and stepping. “Thanks for getting her here safely, you have a good night.”

By the time Logan had locked the door again you were passed out on his couch, your head hanging at an odd angle that couldn’t be comfortable. Scooping you up into his arms, he carried you up to his room, muttering under his breath as he walked, “What the fuck did you do, Lando?”

You woke up in a peaceful haze with a warm arm curled around your waist and soft snores on your neck. You didn’t open your eyes, not wanting to take away from this moment as your mind found itself back in your body and not in the nightmare you had been trapped in.

“I had the worst dream, baby,” you whispered as you snuggled into the warmth of his chest against your back and felt him wake with a yawn.

“Y/N?”

You froze at the voice in your ear, your eyes being blinded by the morning light as they flew open. “Logan,” you squeaked as you shot upright and twisted to see him on his pillow, the sunlight making him look like a golden greek god. “What the..?”

Your eyes drifted down his bare chest before you caught yourself and fixed them on his blue eyes instead, the shade thankfully far brighter than the pair that had haunted your dreams. “Um, Logan, you’re naked…” you lifted the sheet you had wrapped yourself in and exhaled in relief, “and I am not. Okay. That’s good, I guess.”

“I’m not naked,” Logan clarified as he held his hands up. “You showed up last night really wasted and crashed on my couch.”

You looked around the light modern room with a quirked eyebrow. “This isn’t the couch.”

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious,” he said as he dropped his hands and laced his fingers over his abs and fiddled nervously, drawing your attention back to them before you could stop yourself. “You didn’t look comfortable so I carried you to bed but you woke up crying and…”

Your chest tightened as he trailed off and looked out the window to his small backyard. “And what, Logan?”

“You said you didn’t want to be alone, so I stayed alright? Nothing happened, okay, I just…I couldn’t leave you like that.” He bit his lip as he turned to see your reaction, wondering if he had overstepped without meaning to, but you were already launching yourself across the bed and into his chest.

“Thank you, Lo,” you whispered against his skin as you buried your head in his neck while his arms found their way around you.

“Don’t thank me just yet,” he mumbled. “I had to call Osc to let him know where you were.”

“Ugh,” you huffed as you pulled away from him and looked for your phone before remembering it was still charging in Oscar’s bedroom. Your eyes landed on the bedside drawers and found your cash, rings, watch and half a dozen pretzels but it was the clock that blinked angrily at you. “Shit, I’m going to miss the plane!” You scrambled to get out of bed.

“Relax. It’s all sorted,” Logan said with a laugh as he helped untangle your legs from the sheets. “You’re flying with me this afternoon.”

You froze as you found your bodies close and you felt the ghost of his touch where he had held you tenderly and let you fall asleep in his arms. “Logan…”

“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered as he closed his eyes and shook his head, but he didn’t move away.

“Like what?”

“Like you used to.”

‘Fuck, okay I deserved that,’ you thought as he pulled away and walked into his wardrobe. He stepped out a moment later in a pair of grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips, but his chest remained bare like he was purposefully trying to taunt you with the sight. Flopping back into the pillows, you pulled his one over your face and silently screamed as you assaulted your younger self for the decisions you had made.

“Want waffles?”

You refrained from smothering yourself completely and peeked over the top of the pillow that was saturated in his scent. “Store bought or homemade?”

The incredulous look he gave you had you tossing the pillow aside and rising from the bed. You didn’t know how he did it but Logan made the best waffles and despite being a good cook yourself, you could never replicate it.

Strolling down the hall with him, you looked across and waved a hand over his body. “So do you own a shirt in this mansion?”

He smirked and shook his head. “Nope, not a single one.”

“If you take me shopping after breakfast I promise to buy you one.”

He pulled a stool out at the kitchen island and pointed you towards it while he went to the pantry and gathered the ingredients. “Didn’t you just go shopping yesterday?”

“That was so yesterday, Lolo,” you drawled as his lips curled up and his chest bounced with a laugh. “I only got some warm clothes because London can’t seem to make up its mind whether it's in a heat wave or a storm. I can’t wear this in Singapore.”

“You’ll absolutely cook,” he agreed. “The humidity is meant to be insane.”

“It is. We usually stopover there on the way home.”

You watched Logan mix all the ingredients and heat up the waffle iron before he put the first batch in and leant against the counter opposite you, resting his elbows on the bench and chin on his hands. “Where are you going to hang out in Singapore?”

You knew he didn’t mean the tourist attractions and shrugged, really not wanting to think about that just yet. “Jacky wants me there so I’m going, but beyond that I don’t know. Lando’s taking care of the ‘announcement’ but I don’t know when that will be posted.”

“I didn’t realise he was such an asshole.”

You opened your mouth but you weren’t sure if you were going to condemn him or defend him so you closed it again.

You had spent hours combing over your relationship with Lando when you couldn’t sleep and realised you weren’t actually as angry about the breakup as you felt you should have been. Maybe that was a sign it was never really that serious, or that the attraction to Lando was simple in that he was good looking and you had built a strong friendship with him. Maybe that was all there was and you misread it all.

He had still used you, and that hurt like hell. That was real.

“You’re always welcome at my garage, no orange though.”

Your lips twitched as you shook your head in amusement. “Papaya, but thanks, I might take you up on that - if you can save my waffle from burning.”

“Shit!” Logan nearly burnt himself rushing to get the waffle out but with a hefty drenching in maple syrup you could hardly taste the extra crispy parts.

y/npiastri

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri and 2,286 others

y/npiastri: @/oscarpiastri when can you get one of these?

oscarpiastri: I already have one Logan and that’s enough

y/npiastri: I meant the private plane egg

Username: Why isn’t y/n flying with Lando?

view all comments

SINGAPORE

Your phone started to vibrate with notifications as soon as you turned it on after touching down at Changi Airport and you could feel a headache beginning to grow until it felt the size of a certain British race driver. One that wasn’t Lewis or George.

Though you were expecting to see him after reading through the litany of text messages you had missed, it was still a shock to find Lando in the airport terminal.

“Hey man, thanks for giving her a lift,” Lando said with a stiff nod to Logan as he draped an arm over your shoulder and whispered, “I didn’t want to do this, I’m sorry.”

All around, you could see fans taking photos and found Lando’s forced smile waiting for you to respond. Your eyes darted to Logan but he wasn’t helping matters with the glare he was sending Lando so you gritted your teeth and wrapped your free arm around Lando’s waist.

“I’m not doing this again in Japan,” you whispered back as you waved to a few of the fans. “I don’t care what your PR team says. I’m done.”

You didn’t know where Lando slept, and didn’t care enough to ask as you closed the hotel door in his face. It was one thing to pretend to still be in a relationship in public but it didn’t extend beyond that. He was already asking too much of you.

The peace and quiet didn’t last very long before a persistent knock drummed on your door. “I know you’re in there,” Oscar called out. “Open up before I tell everyone about Bobo-”

You were not amused as you unlocked the door and found the hall empty except for him and the bag of food he held. “Keep my teddy’s name out of your mouth,” you growled as you swiped the bag from him. “Lau Pa Sat?”

“Of course,” he shrugged nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t travelled across the city to go to your favourite hawker stand.

“Thank you. I guess you can come in.”

He chuckled as you made space in the doorway and closed the door behind him. His laugh soon died and he quirked an eyebrow as he passed the trash can and saw the McLaren merch that you had found in the wardrobe. “I’ll try not to be too offended.”

“You’ll get over it.” You took a seat on the couch and opened the containers, spreading the range of dishes across the coffee table as the mouthwatering scent filled the room. “Want some?”

“Race diet,” he reminded you with a shake of his head and a longing look at the food.

“Good, I don’t share well.”

“At least you can have the leftovers for breakfast tomorrow.”

You already had a mouthful of chicken rice and nearly choked on it before swallowing. “Leftovers? Yeah, right. I’m not on a race diet, this isn’t lasting the night.”

Dropping into the seat beside you, Oscar grabbed the tv remote and went straight to the movie channels. After finally deciding on the new Spiderman he settled into the cushions, ignoring the knock on the door, muttering, “Don’t answer him.”

From Logan: open up, I can smell food.

“It’s not Lando,” you said as you tossed the phone to Oscar who went and opened the door before taking his seat again.

“Expecting anyone else?” Logan asked as he saw all the food spread out.

“She’s eating her feelings,” Oscar stated, ducking on reflex as he expected to get a punch on the arm. There was a satisfied smirk on your face when his face disappeared under a well aimed pillow and you blew a kiss to Logan as a thank you.

“Do you want some?” you offered the American a dumpling with your chopsticks.

He leaned closer and looked at the tasty morsel inquisitively. “What’s in it?”

“Don’t ask, mate.” Oscar tucked the pillow behind his head and turned the volume up. “How’d you know I was here?”

“I didn’t come to see you,” Logan said as he dropped a package on your lap before he took a bite of the dumpling, the liquid inside exploding in a mess down your top. “Fuck, sorry.” He reached for the napkins on the table but his shaking hand knocked your drink over and Oscar sat back watching the chaos with a nostalgic feeling as Logan swore again. “Fuck.”

It reminded Oscar of being Logan’s teammate at Prema, back when things were simpler and the three of you would always hang out. Logan was always clumsy around you and it looked like it was something he would never grow out of.

“Is this your present?” you asked as you finally stopped laughing at Logan and picked up the package. “Why aren’t you wearing it? It was a gift.”

Oscar’s interest was piqued and he swiped it from your hands. You had promised to buy Logan a shirt, you didn’t say it was going to be a fashionable one. Opening the bag, Oscar pulled the green shirt out and held it up to read the front before turning it around, cackling loudly.

Got a problem with me? Talk to Mike Krack.

“I am not wearing that,” Logan laughed as Oscar balled it up and tossed it at his head.

“If you won’t, I will,” you dared as you went to reach for it.

“No way,” Logan teased, pulling it out of your reach as you tried to clamber over him to get it. “It's my gift and I’m keeping it.”

“Careful not to hurt him again, sis,” Oscar warned jokingly.

Logan winced at the reminder of the one time your leg had slipped in a similar situation and your knee had met a certain body part he was quite attached to.

“That was an accident!” you huffed as you sat back in your seat and grabbed a dish of Singapore noodles. “Don’t you have a girlfriend to call before her exam?”

Oscar checked his phone and saw the time and jumped up from the couch. “Shit! See you two in the morning.”

“Wish her luck from me, not that she needs it,” you called out as the door closed in his wake. It hadn’t even clicked shut and you had tossed the remote onto Logan’s lap. “Right, find a decent movie and not a bloody cartoon.”

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?”

Logan laughed as you narrowed your eyes at him before continuing scrolling down the title list. “Fine, what about the new Jennifer Lawrence one?”

With a full stomach, you put the lids back on the containers and made yourself comfortable on the couch, laying your head on Logan’s lap and using his thigh as a pillow. Just like old times, you smiled as his palm started to brush over your hair softly.

You hadn’t read the synopsis when you agreed to the choice and you started to regret it. The entire plot was centred around a woman who was afraid of catching feelings and so she ran at the first sight of them. You grew uncomfortable as the movie played and neither of you laughed much - you were too busy wishing you didn’t see the similarities of when you did the same to Logan. And Logan, well he had a frown etched deep into his forehead.

“You’re thinking so loud that I’m getting a headache,” you said as you rolled onto your back and looked up at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Just thinking about the race. All the races, and crashes. I keep fucking up.”

You waited for him to continue but he was staring at the tv without really seeing what was there so you paused it. “Mistakes happen. James seems like a good principle - he should have told you this.”

“He is, but I want to be better. I push harder to prove I can but then I crash out, but if I hold back then I come last. I just don’t know how to find the balance. I feel like a failure.” He looked away, ashamed.

You sat up and cradled his cheek in your hand, guiding his face back so you could see his eyes. “You’re not a failure, Lo. You’re a rookie, it’s about learning and getting experience.”

“Oscar’s a rookie too.”

“Yeah, but he had a year of testing to get used to the car. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” You decided at that moment that you were going to take up his offer. “And to make sure you remember it, I’ll be in your garage tomorrow. I might even bring a picket sign so you can see me from the track.”

“You would too,” he chuckled before sighing and releasing the tension in his shoulders. “It's completely selfish of me, but I missed hanging out like this.”

“Me too, Lo.”

“Are you sure you want to go home?”

“No,” you scoffed. “But what else can I do? I only left so Jacky wasn’t on his own but he has Lily now. I have no place to live and everything I owned is probably already in the Monaco landfill.”

“You could stay with me,” he offered before quickly adding, “I have a guest room.”

You couldn’t quite ignore the feeling of disappointment that set in your gut at the thought of being his roommate. “You’re too nice but you’ll want your privacy, it would be awkward if you brought a girlfriend home.” That thought unsettled you even more.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” he said a little sadly. “I have about the same success with dating as I do scoring points.”

“It’s only a matter of time,” you stated confidently. “I believe in you.”

You were hardly spotted with Lando all weekend but that wasn’t abnormal since his team kept him busy with meet and greets. Unfortunately, arriving with Logan at the airport and then at the paddock each day had caused a few whispers to spread. Rumours of the breakup were popping up on the Wag blogs and the term homie hopper was being thrown around too.

Girl has gone and signed the Declaration of Independence. Y/N belongs to America now. The tweet made you giggle a little bit as you sat in Logan’s garage eating a slice of the cake you had baked the crew. You had kept them supplied with fresh baking all weekend after finding out Logan’s hotel suite had a fully stocked kitchen and they had quickly welcomed you after that.

The busy garage fell silent, the wheel guns shutting off as the mechanics put them down to watch the pair of McLaren men walking in from the pit lane. One smiled at the Williams shirt you wore, the other looked at Logan with a new interest.

“Kim thought he smelt your baking,” Oscar said as he spotted the cake before giving you a hug. “I get not being in papaya but this is just traitorous.”

“I don’t know, I quite like it. I was even propositioned - head baker sounds good to me. Especially since I need a new job.”

Lando’s smile dropped. “Wait, what?”

You could see the people around pretending to be busy but they collectively leaned closer. They were not ignorant to the rumours in the paddock.

“Quadrant doesn’t need me. I know I was only on the payroll because of you,” you said quietly. “I emailed Max my resignation when I got to Nice, I thought he would have told you.”

“Well I’m CEO and, as CEO, I’m not accepting it.”

“Don’t be a dick, mate,” Oscar interjected, placing a hand on Lando’s chest and giving him a little push back away from you.

“I didn’t sign away my basic fucking rights so if you want to piss away your money paying me for nothing then fine.”

A warm body pressed up beside you and you didn’t have to look to know it was Logan, before his accent confirmed it. “I think you should go back to your garage, now.”

Oscar sent Logan a grateful nod and headed towards the floodlights with a firm hand on Lando’s shoulder.

“Drive safe,” you called out, both of their heads turning back at your voice but you were only looking at one of them.

“Of course,” Oscar nodded seriously. “Don’t forget, we’re going out tonight.”

“How could I forget? Free booze - It’s the only reason I came.” You hooked your arm into Logan’s and peeked up at his stoic features, his eyes still staring daggers at Lando. “You’re coming too, right?”

“Sure,” he replied with a smirk. “Someone’s got to make sure you get tucked into bed…again.”

You choked on a laugh as his words had the desired effect and Oscar shook his head as his teammate swept from the room. “If that wasn't about my sister I would hi-five you,” he said with a smile in his tone. “Good luck out there.”

“You too.”

“That was naughty,” you teased as work resided in the garage.

The mechanics were busy preparing the car for the race when your phone vibrated in your pocket and Logan’s attention was taken by his engineer. Ducking away from the distracting noise, you answered the call and pressed a finger into your ear so you could hear.

“It’s, uh, me, Lando.”

“I know, I do have your number.”

“Oh, I thought you might have deleted it,” he cleared his throat and from the quiet at his end you knew he was hidden in his driver room. “I just wanted to let you know I’m posting the announcement before the race. And…I hope Logan makes you happy. Truly.”

“It’s not what you think, despite what he said before. He doesn’t even think of me that way.”

“I’m not sure who you’re trying to convince,” Lando said before sighing. “I know sorry doesn’t begin to cover it but for what it’s worth, I really am sorry. Anyway, I should go.”

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat at the genuine apology, but you weren’t ready to say what he was wanting to hear, you weren’t ready to forgive him. “Drive safe, Lando.”

His exhale of relief drifted through the phone. “Thank you.”

landonorris

liked by y/npiastri, oscarpiastri and 13,286 others

Username: For once rumours were true

y/npiastri: twice [message deleted]

Username: Now we know why y/n was in Williams all week

Username: The Declaration of Independence everyone

view all comments

“Woah, slow down, sweetheart.” The glass was taken from your hand and Logan took a drink of it himself as he settled into the booth beside you. “That’s strong.”

“Fastest way to get drunk, and that’s exactly what I am aiming for.”

“Just let her get it out of her system,” Oscar suggested after breaking away from a conversation with Felipe, the Aston Martin reserve driver he had befriended. “Trust me, she’ll get trashed, blow off some steam and be over him tomorrow.”

“I am over him,” you stated as you took your drink back and jutted your chin to the tv screens replaying the podium celebration hours ago. “I just can’t seem to get away from them.”

Logan frowned as he followed your gaze and saw Carlos and Lando spraying each other with champagne before hugging tightly. “Them?”

Your eyes widened as you realised what you said and you shuffled closer to him. With a quick scan over the others, you found they weren’t paying any attention so you cupped your hand around Logan’s ear for some privacy. “Please forget I said that and never repeat it, please, you have to promise me.”

He chewed his bottom lip in contemplation before tipping his head down to yours and you felt his warmth breath across your cheek. “The NDA was about this, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want you getting into trouble, and I don’t give a shit what those two do in their own time - he’s still an asshole for cheating on you. You deserve better than that.”

You looked down at your glass, tracing your finger around the salted rim. “You don’t think it’s my fault?”

“What?” he laughed before realising you were serious. “How would it be your fault?”

“I, I don’t know…” you lied.

“You think you turned him gay.” Logan was more astute than anyone gave him credit for, or maybe he just knew you too well. Grabbing your chin, he guided your face back so he could meet your eyes. “Sweetheart, you know that’s not how it works.”

“I know,” you whispered. “He was only with me because he was lonely. And I think I was the same. Oscar had just moved in with Lily and I was alone for the first time in my life. I just keep wondering what would have happened if I answered your call that night.”

His hand dropped from where it had slowly shifted to cradle your cheek. “Why didn’t you?”

You screwed your eyes shut as you remembered the summer that had changed your future completely. You had tried to resist the growing feelings for Logan but after a week spent on his uncle’s superyacht you realised you were deep in it. It had frightened you - the fear of losing him as a friend - if it turned out to be a mistake. It wasn’t just your friendship at risk either, there was the one of Oscar and Logan to think about too.

It had been overwhelming, so when the holiday came to an end you went incommunicado.

That was also the summer where Oscar had quietly been in talks with McLaren and at one of those meetings you had accompanied him to, you met Lando. Friendly, handsome, and no attachment to Oscar at that point, he was the escape you needed.

“Because I realised I loved you and it scared me. It still does, but I’m done running.”

You didn’t know who moved first and the consequences of the actions were far from your mind as your lips met. The club could have been on fire but you wouldn’t have recognised the sound of the alarms as your racing heartbeat echoed in your head and your hands fisted his shirt to pull him closer. You moaned when you felt him deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping past your lips as his hand traced down your spine.

His kiss were exactly like you remembered them, pillow soft lips that yearned with a hunger you could match. And you did.

“Dude!” Oscar interrupted as he threw a coin at you. “I’m right here!”

You tossed the coin right back at him. “Look away then, little brother. You’re the one who said to blow off some steam.”

“Ugh, not what I meant,” he said as he finished his beer. “I’m calling it a night. You two…have fun or whatever.”

“Wait, you’re not mad?” you asked as he grabbed his jacket, Felipe deciding to join him instead of becoming a third wheel.

“I’m not your keeper, you’re an adult. God knows you two have been googly-eyed over each other since you met.”

“Was not googly-eyed!”

“Whatever you say.” Oscar laughed at you as he rose from the table and ruffled your hair before clapping Logan on the shoulder. “Take care of her, please.”

“Of course, always planned to.”

Oscar nodded with a final wave. “I know.”

—

The need to get drunk was replaced with another need entirely and it didn’t take long before Logan closed the tab and paid the bill before hailing a taxi. His hand had not left your body for one moment, either resting on the small of your back or holding your hand - like he was afraid if he let you go you would disappear again.

When you woke in the morning, those hands still held you close, his legs tangled between yours, his skin warm against yours. For a moment you found the home you had been searching for since you left Australia as a teenager wanting to carve out a piece of the world as her own. For a moment you were in heaven.

You didn’t know how quickly that feeling would disappear. You didn’t know that photos of you and Logan’s kiss were already going viral.

Whore, slut, gold digger.

“Ignore them, sweetheart,” Logan said as he took your phone and turned it off for the flight to Japan. “You and I know the truth, that’s all that matters.”

It was hard to imagine having the strength to ignore the accusations, especially when you couldn’t defend yourself without exposing Lando. He must have known that too as for a second time in a week you found yourself in an airport terminal and facing your ex.

“Hey.” You didn’t know what to do when he opened his arms for a hug but after a moment you stepped into his embrace. “Logan called.”

You turned to Logan, a look of confusion clear on your face as you waited for an explanation. “It’s his fans bullying you, and if he really wants you to be happy like he said then the least he can do is show them there’s no problem,” he said with a shrug.

“He’s right,” Lando said as he nudged you gently. “I wasn’t lying when I said I hope we could still be friends. If you’re not ready for that then I’ll respect it but I’m still here if you need and I won’t stop apologising.”

Your night with Logan had washed away at the residual hurt that had been left by Lando and you softened at his words. Wrapping your arms around his waist you took a deep breath and released it just as heavily. “I forgive you, Lan. And he does make me happy, he always has.”

He smiled knowingly as you stepped back and under Logan’s arm. “Good. I’m glad.”

You smiled up at Logan before turning it to Lando, feeling lighter than you had all week - maybe all your life. There was no sarcasm or edge when you told him wholeheartedly, “I hope you get your happiness too.”

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris fanfic #Logan sargeant fanfic #logan sargeant imagine #lando norris imagine #logan sargeant x reader #formula one imagine #formula one fanfiction

957 notes · View notes

coxblogs · 8 months ago

Text

Seamless Leggings And What Makes Them Fantastic Fitnesswear

Go through this to know in detail about seamless leggings And The Prime Reasons make them your fantastic gym wear.

#activewear manufacturers australia #custom gym wear manufacturers uk #design your own leggings uk #fitness clothing manufacturers australia #gym clothing manufacturers uk

1 note · View note

viennakarma · 1 year ago

Note

hear me out... ending 3: secrets

she just doesn't tell him, publicise their divorce, she's disappeared off the face of the earth basically, she keeps the baby, it's a boy, looks just like him but they just never see each other again. Lewis is upset, can't cope, just keeps partying, drinking during off season, or just gym gym gym not even socialising as much, fashion declines like no longer going for all the cool different clothes and just comes in trousers and merc top.

But how does he find out? when?

Maybe she's just out living a normal life now but an old fan recognises her, she's with her brother and son, maybe they don't recognise the brother and they think she's got a new man and kid, she always wanted a kid and Lewis was never ready wanting to wait. maybe that photo gets released so lewis finds out that way. loads of rumours on twitter. maybe not directly, someone else could bring it up. Jealous then realises. He tries to contact her, doesnt work, blocked on everything. He remembers where her parents house is and visits them, eventually meets yn and their son. Then co-parenting. But like no friendly friendly just civil. She has the son, Lewis has him on free weeks. She does eventually move up cuz when her son is with lewis, she has free time for dates. Just a regular guy tho and it's all great and eventually lewis also tries moving on but like fr this time. so like eventually yn and her new bf move in together, live a happy faithful life and have another kid. while lewis maybe has just won his 8th (or 9th depending on time line) but it's not what he dreamed of, not having yn to celebrate with. But he's got his now long term gf and he proposes.

so basically to summarise, she is alone, single mom, gets exposed, Lewis finds her, civil co-parenting, yn gets a bf happy life, Lewis eventually gets a gf, happy without each other

This is a little blurb on how I imagine a third ending of Say Something would go:

You leave, right after finding out about the pregnancy, maybe somewhere far from England and Monaco. Lewis doesn’t deserve to reap what you saw after ruining your future. He doesn’t deserve you or your kid or to play happy family. You move away, maybe to a farm Australia, since you’ve always wanted a quiet life anyway. Your parents and brother accept moving in with you to help with the risky pregnancy. It’s tough, you can’t do much to risk your health and the baby’s. Soon you find out it’s a boy, you’re happy something good came out of a dumpster fire that was your relationship with him. Him, because you don’t say his name anymore, trying to leave his memory behind.

You baby boy is delivered in a difficult C-section, one your brother and parents never left your side and you felt less alone, not sharing the moment with the father of your kid. The day is happy and sunny, so you name him Helio, like the sun. Like the light in your life. You realize you’ll never fully leave his memory behind, his son being his spitting image. The same hair, the same complexion, the same nose, the same shiny brown eyes and chubby baby cheeks. And you love him so much it hurts. You realize you may have lost him, but Helio was pretty much his copy.

Following your baby’s firsts is the happiest you’ve ever felt. Saying ‘mama’ for the first time, taking his first steps, playing with animals and saying his first words. You settle in a happy routine as a single mom. After the pregnancy, your parents move back to England because they couldn’t just leave their house. Your brother stay with you and your sister move in too, after finishing college.

You try not to know about him. Last you had heard was during the pregnancy, hearing about endless parties, trips and models, that had taken a toll on you, in a way you decided to stop looking. He had a life and you had a completely different one now.

Helio goes to school, eventually. Despite feeling protective, you know you can’t deprive him of a true kindergarten experience, not only for studies, but also for his formative years and to become socially active. The first year, your sister, who has a volunteering job close to his school, is the one who picks Helio up everyday. He makes friends at school and even invite them for a birthday party at the farm. It’s one of the happiest moments for him, eating cake with friends and showing them his pets.

During his second year, though, your sister get a little sick, so she can’t pick Helio from school. And you decide to go, along with your brother. It’s a hot day, so you stop by a park to eat frozen yogurt and let Helio play a little while.

That day, someone recognised you and recorded you.

That’s how Lewis finds you. The video eventually find its way to him. The post has a silly caption ‘for everyone wondering what had happened to y/n, seems like she found a new man and started a family’. Lewis scoffs because he knows the man in the video is your brother and you are thick as thieves ever since you were kids.

You’re just as pretty as ever. Maybe a little more curvy, and hair longer, but just the same, still the most beautiful woman-

But then he pauses. He zooms in the video and see the toddler running up to you. The little boy, who makes your eyes light up as you hug him, sharing what looks like ice cream or something. And from what Lewis can imagine, the boy looks 4 or 5 years old. But there’s no denying, he looks exactly like Lewis as a baby, if he put a baby picture of him beside the boy in the video, it would be the same. It was a matter of time until some of his fans put two and two together.

That’s how Lewis ends up going to your parents’ house in England. He had gone there after the divorce, but the house was for rent and he couldn’t contact your parents of you, after cutting him off completely. Now, when he knocks, you mum is the one to open.

“Is he mine?” Is all he asks, breathing hard.

Your mom let him in, seeing his state of distress. She doesn’t lie nor sugarcoat it. She tried to convince you to let Lewis know about the kid. Helio, he muses, whispering the name of the little boy he never even met.

He goes to Australia with your mum, not even letting you know first, because your mum believed you’d run away once again.

When he makes it to the farm, you’re out in the field with Helio, you two running and playing together barefoot on the grass. He hears Helio’s laugh, yours too, and something inside him breaks. He’s seeing before his eyes the life he threw away for one stupid mistake.

As soon as you notice him, you stop laughing, holding Helio behind you, protective. You call your brother out, asking him to take Helio upstairs and not leave until you say so. Lewis just watches helplessly as your brother takes his nephew inside and Lewis couldn’t even get a closer look at his son.

“Mom, what did you do?” You say, betrayed. You mum explains everything and you invite both of them inside.

Inside, you fight, almost shouting until you remember Helio upstairs, forcing yourself to calm down. Lewis feels betrayed, you tell to his face he doesn’t deserve this life. You pull a stack of documents, asking Lewis to sign. It’s a contract saying he gives up any rights over the kid. Lewis cries.

Your mother mediates.

After what feels like hours of arguing back and forth, you accept Lewis begging to know his kid, begging to be part of his life. How could you deny your kid of a father now you couldn’t hide him behind a layer of ignorance?

You introduce father and son a couple of days later, in the presence of a child therapist, to help mediate. Helio is skittish in the beginning, but he quickly warms up to Lewis. Sometimes, he run backs to you, hugging you tightly, feeling shy. You reassure him, letting him go back to meeting his father.

“Mama, do all daddies take this long?” Helio asks that night when you’re putting him to sleep. You swallow your tears when answering.

“No, my baby. Not all of them. One day you’ll understand better, yes?”

The first time Lewis takes Helio for the day, you cry for hours, feeling like a mother bird in an empty nest. He had invited his family to a nearby city, only 40 minutes away so he could introduce Helio to them. It’s planned for them to come back by dinner time, to not disturb Helio’s routine. But they come back earlier and your baby looked like he’d been crying. Worried, you carry him inside while Lewis explains that the first few hours Helio was enjoying himself and meeting everyone, but after a while, he started crying because he ‘wanted Mama’. Selfishly, that makes your heart grow easier, because you know Helio would never forget you, and in the end of the day, he’d would always want Mama’s arms.

The first months are like torture, until you get used to Helio coming back at the end of the day. Your Helio, your baby, becomes Helio Hamilton when Lewis registers him. Lewis tries to win you over many times, with gifts, inviting you to dates, until you have a stern talk with him, telling him it wasn’t happening. That every time you were polite and respectful to him, Helio’s well being is the only thing in your mind.

Eventually, the media finds out about Helio. Lewis blatantly lies, saying he had been keeping his son’s existence a secret for his safety and privacy. People mostly respected his wishes.

You see Lewis’ family for the first time again at Helio’s fifth birthday. You thought they’d hate you for hiding their grandkid/nephew, but they treat you with the same kindness as always, and you feel just a tiny bit of guilt for hiding Helio for so long.

You realised that you had much more free time now that Helio was with Lewis half of the time. So you started going to the gym, going shopping, not only for Helio but for yourself, you went to museums, parks and eventually, dates.

One day you meet Leon, a recluse just like you. He’s a writer, living in a cottage in a close city. You hit it off, but you and him get to know each other for a whole year before you introduce him to your family, and Lewis. Your ex-husband doesn’t take it well, admitting that deep down he thought you’d go back and be a family. You tell him, he ruined that himself.

You find some resemblance of balance. With Lewis’ coming to pick Helio whenever he had free time, you weren’t friends just a cold politeness.

Lewis, whenever he had to pick Helio, he found you and Leon sitting by the porch, or horseback riding, or helping Helio with homework and school projects, he would always envy your life, the happy family he could have, but he had only himself to blame. When he finds out by Helio you’re having another baby, he swears a part of him dies forever, buried alongside your love for him, and the future he threw away. Eventually, Lewis married again, a woman who loves him, loves Helio and she even gets along with you well, and that’s all he can ask for, knowing deep down he would never love someone else the way he loved you.

PHEW! I may have gotten carried away. Thank you for your ideia, Anon! I hope this was alright!

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #fic talk #f1 fic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #formula 1 #ask rae

378 notes · View notes

hardcandycigarette · 2 years ago

Text

Long Way Down Part One

Part Three

Here's the story of married Harry who's a dad to three small kiddos, and married for over seven years to Y/N. Marriage is always hard work, but what happens when being married to a pop star becomes too much for Y/N?

WARNING-slight references to sex, curse words

This is angst angst and more angst. There are other parts to the story, and with enough feedback, I'll post more to this story.

Word Count 4.7K

“Japan. Chile. Australia. Oh, and let's not forget Madagascar. Mada-Fucking-gascar, Harry. Who goes to Madagascar? Why the one and only Harry Styles? That's who. You realize most people never see any of those places in an entire lifetime, right? But you, you went to all of those places THIS YEAR!” Y/N stomps to their daughter's room picks her up from her crib, hoists the baby on her hip, and walks out of the nursery and down the hall.

Harry follows her to the kid’s bathroom. "Y/N, baby, it was all for work. I don't care about those places, don't even get to enjoy them."

"It doesn't matter. You still got to go. And that's in addition to your normal New York, LA, often Paris or Rome. Those places are just another day at the office for you. Do you want to know where I've been? Whole Foods. Baby Gym. Holmes Chapel. The park. School runs. Yep, that’s about it. Oh, the doctors, and kids' birthday parties; on wild days, a friend comes for a glass of wine when I can finally relax at 9 PM. So don’t do this with me, not this time.” She begins to undress the baby. She’s seething but keeps her voice down so the little one isn’t upset.

“Do you know how many days you’ve been home since the tour ended? I’ll tell you because I know exactly. 26. You could’ve paid someone to do your dirty laundry and brought home clean clothes. Even the slightest gesture to show you get how hard it is around here.”

“I’m sorry. I was so focused on just getting home I didn’t even think of having them done.” Harry turns on the bath water and tests the temperature.

“Oh, poor thing. Traveling the world in the lap of luxury must be torture.”

Harry walks to the door. "No, Y/N, no. You know what a tour is like. You've been on the road with me. You know how utterly chaotic it is. Yes, I should've thought about the laundry, but I didn’t.”

She places the baby in her bathtub seat, squats, and begins soaping her up. “Of course, you didn’t think of me.”

Harry is leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom now. “Babe, swear if you give me just a bit to decompress, I'll be happy to give you whatever ya need. We’ll take a family vacation, go someplace nice, the five of us, any place you like, you pick.” He extends his hands in her direction.

“You've been home 26 days. That's how long you've had to decompress.” She uses air quotes around decompress. You've done zero loads of laundry. I do at least four a day, trying to catch up with everything. Laundry never ends even when it’s just me and the kids. You leave a trail of mess in every room. You do nothing to help, nothing. It’s like you’ve completely checked out on the fact this is supposed to be a partnership.”

“My job isn’t just dancing around in sparkly trousers for an hour or two. I’m fucking exhausted too. You’re not playin’ fair, Y/N.”

"Thing is, I'm not playing at all, Harry.”

“A vacation with the five of us is a vacation to you, Harry, not to me. I love you guys, I really do, but I need a break. I needed this just for me. I wasn't asking for much, Harry. Five days for myself, time to decompress, as you call it. I wanted to be with my friends and sisters, but you know what, never mind. Go. Just go. We’ll talk about it when I’ve put her to bed.”

“I’ll put her to bed.” He closes the door behind him when he steps out.

Harry hears her singing Adore You. The song always makes the baby smile. Y/N can’t be completely furious if she’s still singing his songs. Harry couldn’t be more wrong.

When Y/N finishes with the bath, she wraps her daughter in her little duck towel with a hood and exits the bathroom. Their son’s door is cracked down the hall, and she hears Harry talking with him. She stands just outside the entrance to eavesdrop.

“That sounds like a good time, buddy. I’m glad you had fun with your friend. Did you make sure to hug him and say thank you before you left his house? Did you thank his family for having you over?”

“Yes.” He sounds so tiny for someone who wrecked Y/N’s nerves with his big voice the entire time Harry was gone.

“So, let’s get snug as a bug in a rug.” Harry wraps the blanket over their son and kisses his forehead. "Have a good sleep, and we'll have some fun in the morning, yeah?”

“Love you, Dad.”

Harry walks across the room and turns off the light. “Love you even more, bud. See you in the morning.” He closes the door when he leaves the room.

“Thank you.”

“He’s m’ son too, Y/N.” Harry walks toward the couple’s room, head hanging down; he drags his finger along the wall.

He doesn’t stick around to help put Lola down, be it because he forgot he said he would put her to bed or he's just upset.

Y/N walks to Lola’s nursery, dries and lotions her, dresses her for bed, and places her in the crib, hoping she will go down without a fight. "Love you, punkin’. Good night.” She kisses her and stands near the bed. She waits to see if she cries. When she only babbles, y/n turns on the baby monitor and nightlight, then crosses the room, turning off the light as she exits, but only closes the door partially.

Y/N heads toward the bedroom, dreading how the rest of the evening will go. Harry is sitting on the bed reading a book about Japanese art, his readers slide down his nose as he pretends to be intensely focused, but she knows him and knows he’s not focused.

She walks to the dresser, opens a drawer, and gets some pjs. She’s too pissed off to bother with a shower but goes to the ensuite to undress. “Don’t have to pretend you’re reading Harry.” She changes her clothes and tosses the dirty clothes in the hamper, does her skincare, and brushes her teeth. She picks up a pair of Harry’s gross, beat-up sneakers as she enters the bedroom. "These are nice," she says, tossing them across the room.

“Cut the crap, Y/N. I know what you're doing. You're not getting a fight out of me, so toss all the shoes you want. I'm not going to argue with you. The passive-aggressive stuff stopped working a long time ago."

She exhales and sits on the bed. "Not being passive, Harry, just aggressive. I'm tired. I'm so tired." She falls back on the bed.

He crawls over to her and plants a kiss on her lips. “Mmm, minty.” He smiles.

“Yep.” She closes her eyes.

He kisses her again. “Come over here; Let’s have a snuggle and a good night’s sleep.”

“I can’t tonight. I just can’t.” She sighs as she climbs to the pillows, placing her head down on the fluffiest one-her favorite one.

“Can’t what?”

“Have sex.”

“Wasn’t trying to.”

She rolls her eyes. "Okay. I don't know your pattern exactly; whenever you want to get frisky. Just met you, have no idea what you're like when you want to pretend an argument didn't happen, makeup, move past it, and get what you want.”

Harry’s eyes narrow. He swallows the lump in his throat and shakes his head in disbelief. “Wow. I can’t believe you just said that. That’s one of the worst things you’ve ever said to me. To imply I manipulate you for sex.” Harry stands, grabs his pillow, and walks to the door. “I’ll be in the guestroom.”

The following day she slowly opens her eyes and reaches over to Harry, but he’s not there. She thought that after he cooled off, he'd return to bed. She thought he’d slip under the covers once he knew it was safe and she was asleep. But he didn't come back to bed. She sits up and looks around the room. Gross sneakers are still across the room, three of Harry's hoodies over the recliner, one of Lola’s toys, and an empty water bottle next to Harry’s wallet -the room is a disaster. She sighs, rubs her face, and flops back down. The house is quiet, almost too quiet. Why is it so quiet? In a panic, she sits up, throws on her robe, and walks to the door. She flings it open and rushes down the hall. When she gets to Lola's room, she pushes open the door; the light is off, and Harry, bare-chested, sits in the recliner, rocking her. "Is she sick? What time is it? Where is everyone?"

"No, she's not sick, Y/N, she's m’ daughter, and she needed a cuddle with her daddy."

"Oh. Look about last night…."

"Not right now, Y/N. Let me enjoy this. Archer and Poppy are in the playroom watching a film. They’ve had their breakfast.”

She nods and leaves the room. She can’t hold back her tears as she walks to the kitchen. But her tears abruptly halt when she enters the filthy kitchen. Harry obviously made breakfast for everyone. Pancakes and bacon are covered with a cloth and a note with Mumma written in crayon to let her know it is hers. But the tenderness she feels doesn’t last long as she scans the kitchen. The dirty plates, cups, pots, and pans litter the kitchen and breakfast nook. The stove is splattered with grease and batter, and God knows what else. She starts to gather the dishes to clean them and load the dishwasher. Once everything is in the sink, she sits at the table in the breakfast nook, picking at the plate of food left for her. She isn’t hungry. Lately, she never is.

"Not as good as yours, but not half bad.” Harry breaks the silence as he stands next to the fridge arms folded over his muscular chest.

“Where is-“

“Living room in her pack-n-play.”

“Okay.” She picks up a slice of bacon and bites into it. She tosses it back on the plate.

She stands, walks to the sink, and begins cleaning off the excess food.

“I was going to do that as soon as I got done with the baby. I didn't have time to juggle it all."

“Really? Didn’t have time? Couldn’t juggle it all? That’s rich.” She shakes her head and chuckles as she places the cutlery into the designated basket in the dishwasher.

He shakes his head, looking at the ground. He cocks his mouth to the side and clicks his tongue. "Touche." He walks over and begins placing the dishes in the dishwasher.

She moves, allowing him the glamorous opportunity of a lifetime. “Wonder when the last time you did this was. Long before X-Factor, I’m sure.”

“Don’t.” Harry scrapes off a dish.

“But why not? You get to have all the fun. You get to do all the talking. You get to see all the things. Meet all the people. You get it all.” She leans against the counter, tapping her fingers.

“Y/N, I’m warning you-don’t.”

Her eyes widen, and she stands with a smirk on her face. This man bought all the audacity. “Warning me? Warning me? What are you going to do if I don't stop? Nothing.”

To get her attention, he throws a glass, aiming it at the sink, but not realizing the force behind it, it crashes into the stainless steel and shatters.

They both jump back, then freeze.

He reaches toward Y/N. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to."

“Get out. I mean it, Harry. And I don’t mean the kitchen. You leave this house. You leave this house now, and don’t come back.” Her words are low and deliberate as she stares at the floor.

“That was out of order what just happened. I'm sorry; you know I'd never lay a hand on you or do anything in the world to scare you. Don't know what came over me."

“I said get out.”

“Excuse me? Don’t come back to my own frickin' house? You've got to be kidding. I'm doing no such thing, Y/N. Will I go downstairs and stay in the entertainment room or sleep in the guest room? Sure. Will I take the kids out for the day? Sure. But leave? No. We’ve never spent one day apart in anger, and we aren’t starting now, so get that idea out of your little head.” He points to his temple, gritting his teeth.

“Fine, then I will.” She pushes him out of the way when she passes him to leave the kitchen.

Harry follows her. “You’ll what, Y/N?” He grabs her arm, attempting to stop her.

“Get your damn hand off of me, you big bully.” She jerks away, storming toward the bedroom.

Harry goes to the living room to get Lola. He hears their bedroom door slam. Poor girl is probably scared. She’s never heard people shout before, especially her mama or daddy. And now her mama says she’s leaving? The words don’t even sound right when Harry says them to himself. Harry approaches the bedroom, tapping on the door. “Y/N, the baby, it’s time for her feeding.”

She marches toward him and takes the baby. “Of course it is; one more thing your pathetic ass can't do around here. Now, get out." She pushes against the door.

Harry walks out and closes the door.

***

Downstairs, Harry talks to Poppy and Archie, making sure that if they heard the yelling, they aren't scared. "Arch, you okay, bud?”

“Yeah.” He doesn’t look up just keeps playing with the Barbie and Ken dolls.

“Pop, you doing okay?"

“Yes, daddy. Are you?” She walks over and hugs his legs.

“Yes, baby, Daddy is fine. Are you guys in the mood for a trip to the zoo? Maybe some pizza and ice cream after?

“Yeah.” Poppy detaches herself from her daddy and jumps up and down.

“Can we go now?” Archer says, dropping the dolls and standing up.

"We can. Let's go get dressed, yeah?" Harry walks toward the stairs to the home's main floor.

The kids follow him up.

“Are mumma and the baby coming?” Poppy asks.

"Not sure, baby girl.”

Archer interjects. “If they’re gonna yell, I hope not."

Harry turns around. "There won't be any yelling, buddy, but that's not nice what you just said. We never say things like that, especially about your mummy or baby sister. We always want them included in whatever we do, always. Don’t ever say anything like that ever again.”

Archer is crying now. "Sorry, Daddy, I didn't mean it."

At the top landing of the stairs, Harry stops and kneels to Archer putting his arms around him. "Come here. Let's hug Daddy, yeah?"

Archer slowly puts his arms around Harry’s neck. “Didn’t mean it, Dad.”

"I know, buddy, we're all having a bad day, but what is the one, very most important rule in this house."

“Treat people with kindness.” Archer releases himself from the embrace.

"That's right, treat one another with kindness and love and goodness."

Archer sniffles. “I will.”

“All right, to our rooms, we go.” Harry leads the kids into the hall.

Harry feels like his heart just broke in two. The one thing they’d both agreed on before having kids is they would raise them in a peaceful home. They both came from divorced parents and knew what it was like when the family was immensely unhappy.

Harry ushers the kids to their rooms once back in the central portion of the house. "Okay, lollipop, do you need daddy's help getting dressed? Or do you want to try by yourself today?"

“I can do it, Daddy,” Poppy says. She pushes her blonde curls off her face.

"Good girl. Now, if you need me, call me, okay? And if you want something hanging up, remember no climbing; call for me, and I'll get it.” Harry pats her on the back.

“Okay.” Poppy skips to her room.

“Arch, do you need help?" Harry asks, following Archer as he walks to the room next to Poppy's.

“No, I got it.”

"Okay, guys, I'm going to help mummy with Lola. I'll be just down the hall."

Harry takes his time to get to the end of the hall. He taps on the door before entering. “Love?” He pokes his head in the door.

“Yeah.”

“Can I come in?”

“Yes.” She snuggles the baby closer as she nurses her.

“Gonna take the big kids to the zoo. Can I take Lola?”

"She's your baby too, Harry. Please don't ask me a question like that. Of course, you can take her.”

“All right, by the time I'm dressed, she should be finished, and I'll get her ready." Harry walks to the bathroom.

“Pretty sure I’m capable of getting my child dressed,” she mumbles.

Harry snaps around. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Y/N?" He's angry, but he keeps his voice down. "First, I do nothing, and then you pop off like that when I try to do something." Harry turns to walk back to the ensuite.

"Daddy's a grumpy pants, isn't he, baby girl? It's okay; you've got a mummy. She’ll take care of you, just like she always has.”

Harry stomps out of the bathroom, mouth full of toothpaste. “No, Y/N. No. You aren’t going to do that shit," he says, toothpaste foaming from his mouth as he flings the toothbrush and points it toward her.

She sighs. “Okay, Harry, whatever."

“Whatever? Whatever?” I’m done with this Y/N. Do what you will, hate me if you want, but don’t bad mouth me to our kids.” He walks again to the bathroom sink, and turns on the water, rinses his mouth out, dries it off.

“It’s not exactly like she understands what I’m saying.”

"Not exactly the point, Y/N.” He returns to the bedroom, then walks to the recliner, grabs a hoodie, and puts it on as he approaches the bed. "These babies are my entire life, Y/N. You know that, so think what you will of me as a husband, lover, and partner, but don’t you ever talk about me like that to our children.”

She’s burping the baby now, patting her on the back. “The kids are your entire life? I get it. Performing is your first love. No room for me.” She pulls her bottom lip in with her teeth and stares at nothing, looking at anything but Harry. Her eyes water, holding onto her tears.

Harry walks to her side of the bed. “You know that’s not what I meant, baby.” He sits on the bed next to her, his voice calmer now.

“No, I get it, Harry. Trust me, I do. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped loving and wanting me. Furthermore, why would you want any of this? I mean, look at this whole thing, and then there’s me. I’m a mess.”

“I’m looking at you. I see you. What are you talking about? And I love this mess, and I love you.” He places his hand on her knee. He pushes his eyebrows together and searches her face.

“It’s over, Harry.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “You’re tired and frustrated, but that’s life. It’s not over.”

"It wasn't a question." She hands Lola to him and stands. She tugs at the bottom of her t-shirt, the shirt she borrowed from him when they were dating and never gave it back. It's faded and stretched out, a picture of One Direction but with the words Spice Girls written on it.

Harry says nothing and watches her. She walks to the closet, grumbles, and grunts, knocking about with a few curse words sprinkled in. Once she finds what she's looking for, she returns to the bedroom, drops a suitcase on the bed, and then unzips it.

"Y/N, baby, what are you doing?"

"I told you I'm leaving. You didn't think taking the kids to the zoo would stop that did you?"

“This is crazy. I’m gonna put Lola in her crib. I’ll be back.” Harry stands, walks across the room, and exits.

A few moments later, he returns. She removes clothes from the dresser. Harry approaches her and places his hand on her elbow. "Baby, let's talk about this. You can leave me, in theory, until we can figure something out, but you can't just walk out on the kids."

She shrugs him off her. “Don’t touch me. There is nothing to figure out, not between us. As for the kids, of course, I'm not leaving them forever, don't be so dramatic, but I am leaving for now."

She goes to the bathroom. Harry can hear her gathering items from the vanity. He sits on the bed, dropping his head in his hands, then lifts his head resting his fingers tips under his chin. He stares at two crayons on the floor under the dresser. He makes that his sole focus, unable to look at her when Y/N returns and tosses the cosmetics bag into the suitcase. She huffs and sighs.

“I might not help as much as I should. I get it, but this, this is one time I’m not lifting a finger to help you. So you can cut the sound effects.”

There’s a soft knock at the door before the handle turns, and small hands push the door open. “Daddy, are we going to the zoo?”

Tears have started to roll down Harry’s cheeks. He wipes his face and sniffs before Poppy comes in. “Yes, baby girl, but give Daddy a minute. Go play nice in your room. I’ll come to get you when it’s time. And Poppy, please wait to be invited in before opening the door. You know the rules.”

“Okay.” Satisfied, she pulls the door closed.

"You see that, Y/N. Our kids need us. Our kids know when something's wrong. They heard our shouting earlier. We can't do this around them." He stands and walks over to her. "Listen, let me call Mitch and Sarah, and see if they can take them for the night, yeah? Or Jeff and Glenne might not mind, then we'll get dressed, go have a nice dinner, come home, and relax, just the two of us.”

“Why so you can get laid, Harry?”

"Y/N, where is all of this coming from? That's the second time you've remarked that I’m somehow this sex-crazed maniac that has to jump through hoops to trick his wife into having sex with him, yet you also say there is no way I could still want you.”

She shoves sneakers into the suitcase. “Oh, believe me, I know you can find someone to have sex with, no doubt about that." She shakes her head and smirks. "Never had any problem getting that, did you?"

“What is wrong with you? Do you think I’ve been with someone else? Is that what’s got you like this?”

She continues throwing things in the suitcase, then zips it up. She returns to the closet, retrieves another bag, unzips it, kicks it along the floor, and continues packing. “I told you. I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired. I’m forgetful because I’m overwhelmed. Important things aren’t given their proper attention. I mess up more often than I will admit. This isn’t good.”

“If this is about going out of town on that girls’ trip, then go.” He extends his foot and closes the top of the luggage. “Have fun. Go, but don’t ruin our family just because you weren’t getting your way.”

“Fuck you, Harry. Because I wasn’t getting my way? It’s not that. It’s that it’s always about you. Always. It’s when are you leaving, when are you coming back, coming in late from the studio, FaceTiming at 3 AM just so I can see you and hear your voice, important events, meetings, everything is about you, and I'm sick of it. You know you're the one that wanted a third baby, or hell, a second baby, for that matter. I was happy when it was just the three of us, all traveling together, but you wanted a larger family, and as usual, I wanted to give you what you wanted.”

He stands next to her, reaches over and takes her face in his hands, and turns her toward him. He sees her face, but she’s a stranger. He hadn’t noticed the new lines between her eyebrows, the dark circles under her eyes, or the sallow shade of her skin. “Tell me you don't regret Poppy and Lola. Please tell me you don't regret those two perfect little girls. Because I love you, Y/N, but if you tell me you regret them, I can't forgive you. Ever.”

She pulls away. "I do regret the timing. I should've insisted you take a multi-year hiatus before expanding our family because I made my life worse to make your life better."

He drops his hands from her and walks across the room to the window, which overlooks the expansive garden below. “Worse? How could anything about those babies make your life worse? Take it back before I say something that can’t be unsaid.” You knew what you were signing up for, Y/N. You knew the life I live and how hard it would be, but you said ‘I do’, you agreed this was the life we would live,” he says.

“You don’t see that even then, it was about you. It was what I agreed to, but what about me? What did you agree to do for me? What sacrifices were you willing to make? I gave up my career, so I could give you a home, take care of the kids, and always be available to support you in anything you needed me to support you in, travel with you." Sitting on the bed, she shoves her legs into her denim flares and stands. She walks over to the dresser and retrieves a black sports bra.

Harry turns to her. "Okay, what do you need? What do you need my support with? Besides the house, the kids? What is it that you’re missing?

She removes her t-shirt and puts on the bra. "Everything."

“You've got to give me specifics, love. Have to help me here, at least with this. I can't read minds, baby. Believe me, if I could, this wouldn't be happening." He walks to her.

She pulls on a lightweight black sweater. "I need you to know me, Harry.” She goes back to the luggage, bends down, and zips closed the second bag. “I needed you to pay attention, to see that I’m drowning here.”

"Okay. We'll have the maid come more days during the week, and we'll get a sitter, nanny, or whatever will make life easier for you. After the three nights in Manchester, I'll devote my time to you. But I have a contract I have to do these nights in Manchester, besides it’s kind of home. We can stay at Mum’s. All of us go together.”

“It’s not just about the housework or the kids. And I don’t want to follow you to Manchester. I need you. I need a husband, a partner, not a sugar daddy who keeps knocking me up.”

“Oh, get off it. Lola's over a year old, and never do I push you for sex, not ever.”

“Whatever.” She pulls the two suitcases upright, rolls them to the door, exits, walks down the hall, and passes the three bedrooms along the corridor. She can't stop, or she'll never go; if she stays, she'll make things worse. She knows she's on the brink of breaking completely.

Harry is behind her.

They make it to the front door, and she slides her feet into her loafers. As she opens the door, she turns to him. "Everything you need to know about your kids is in a folder on my desk in the office. There’s frozen milk in the fridge.”

He reaches out, but she shakes her head. “Don’t.” She snatches her purse from the hook by the front door.

"Y/N, please, baby."

"Goodbye, Harry." With that, she steps out, dragging the luggage behind her. She doesn't look back.

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #harry styles new

1K notes · View notes