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heirofshadowsingers · 5 days ago

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For Her, Always.

Azriel and Gwyn's daughter is teething. Azriel gets up to take care of her and reflects on his past and his own mother.

A/N: a short little thing I wrote because I still can't stop thinking about dad!azriel and needed to get it out. It's pure fluff- like teeth rotting fluff. Enjoy! And let me know if you liked it hehe <3

Read on AO3 here or down below word count: 1, 982

Thirty seconds. That was all he got before the crying started again. Azriel let out a heavy sigh and ran a tired hand over his face. Next to him, his mate stirred, also getting ready to leave the warmth of their bed. He reached over and gave her hips a gentle squeeze.

”Stay,” he mumbled and urged her back into a lying position. ”I’ve got her.” Gwyn grumbled something about it being her turn, her speech nothing more than a tired slur, but didn’t fight him further as she buried her face into one of the pillows. Azriel chuckled lightly and gave her hip another affectionate squeeze.

She would deny it, but he saw the dark circles beneath her eyes. He saw her slumped shoulders and the silver lining her eyes when the crying just wouldn’t stop. The fact that she did not try to fight him further, that she had fallen back asleep so quickly, was proof enough that his mate was truly exhausted.

Azriel had only been away for three nights, but it was enough, especially with a teething baby. He had been home for less than a day, and he already felt completely drained. But he could not, and would not, complain. Azriel had missed the worst of it, so if he had to stay up all night— he would.

For her. For his mate. His Gwyn.

He didn’t need sleep.

His shadows were already circling the small bassinet as he crossed the room, brushing against his daughter’s feverish skin in a cool and soothing rhythm. It had been seven months since his world had been turned upside down, reshaped entirely by a single cry and a pair of teal eyes. She had entered the world at dusk, just as the moon’s first shadows stretched over Velaris. From the moment she took her first breath she’d had everyone in their court wrapped around her chubby fingers. Especially Azriel. His shadows included.

As soon as his daughter had looked up at him, with the same big teal eyes as her mother, every doubt and fear from his body had disappeared. He’d known instantly. That he would do absolutely everything it took to keep her safe. To make sure she knew how loved she was from that very first moment. He couldn’t care less about how much blood he had on his hands, not as long as it kept his little girl safe.

He would burn the world down for her.

For his little light. His baby girl. His Catrin.

Rhys had asked him to go to the continent to gather some information. Rumours about unease in the human lands had started to spread and had to be looked into. In the end, it wasn’t anything serious, but it had still required Azriel to leave his family for a couple of days.

Gwyn had reassured him over and over again that they would be fine, but then Catrin had started teething while he was gone.

Their usual happy girl had been fussy the entire time, crying almost non-stop, needing to be held at all times. Their little social butterfly, who loved to be passed around amongst her aunts and uncles, had refused to be held by anyone other than her mother. It broke his heart to arrive back home and see his girl in such discomfort. To know he hadn’t been there to soothe her through the worst of it.

“Shh, my light,” Azriel murmured as he bent down to pick her up. Her small body was warm, her feverish skin a little clammy. She immediately clung to him, burying her snotty face in the crook of his neck, as she continued to cry. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, shhh.”

He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head, her thick dark curls tickling his nose, whilst stroking her back lovingly. Catrin had been born without wings. Gwyn had shed an endless amount of tears the day they found out, afraid that he’d be disappointed and upset at her for not giving him a child with wings. Azriel had been stunned by her confession. The idea that he’d be upset at her was so absurd he couldn’t find the words to speak.

Then he had spent the last three months of the pregnancy making sure his mate knew just how utterly breathtaking he found her. How incredibly thankful he was that The Mother had gifted him her as a mate. How thankful he was that she loved him back and would be the one carrying his child. As long as their child was healthy, Azriel was happy.

And Catrin came to them as the most perfect little girl he had ever seen. But with Gwyn as her mother; Azriel always knew she would be. Just hours after her birth, he’d traced his fingers over Catrin’s delicate shoulders as she slept on his chest, completely amazed by her existence. Wings or not, she had stolen his heart.

“Oh, I know your teeth hurt, sweets,” Azriel pressed another kiss to his daughter’s head, bouncing her in his arms gently as he quietly made his way out of the bedroom. Catrin’s loud cries turned into small whimpers as she continued to cling to her father. More at ease now in his arms, but still not content enough to be fully settled. “It’ll get better soon, I promise.”

The shadows swirled around them as he entered the sitting room, continuing to brush against her soft skin with cool touches to help against the fever. Another shadow presented him with a bottle of the teeth gel Madja had given to them, along with a cold washcloth.

Azriel adjusted Catrin in his arm, cradling her close to his chest, to accept the items. She let out an angry cry from being moved away from the comfort of his neck. ”I know, I know,” he cooed again, working as quickly as possible to open the bottle, but using only one hand was more of a struggle than he liked to admit. ”I’m sorry.” He leaned down to kiss away her tears as the shadows stepped in to open the bottle for him.

He managed to get a few drops on his finger and moved to her mouth to massage her sore gums. Catrin let out what seemed like a breath of relief and grasped his hand with her much smaller ones, to keep him there, as if to make sure he wouldn’t stop doing what he was doing.

She looked up at him with big teary eyes, so much like her mother’s, and Az could feel her gnawing at his finger with her still toothless gums — chasing the temporary relief he could give her. He would let her gnaw it down to the bone if it helped her.

He continued to massage her gums a little while longer, bouncing her gently in his arms as he paced around the room. His heart felt a little lighter as her heartbreaking cries eased, her heavy eyelids fell and her breathing evened out.

But as he removed his finger, her eyes shot right back up as she looked up at him with narrowed brows, lips falling into a pout. Even if it was Gwyn's eyes staring up at him, her small scowl was all him, a tiny mirror of his own face. Azriel sighed, swallowing down the slight simmer of frustration. He should’ve known better than to think she was asleep.

”You need to sleep, my light,” he hummed and reached for the cool washcloth his shadows had brought earlier. ”It’ll help you feel better.”

Catrin immediately grabbed onto the washcloth as he held it out for her, shoving it into her mouth to gnaw on instead of his finger. Azriel couldn’t help but smile down at her, his clever and strong-willed daughter, who once again relaxed on his arms as the washcloth cooled her aching gums.

He moved over to sit down in the armchair placed by the big window, looking out over the city. Catrin was comfortably resting in his arms, drool dripping down her chin as she chewed happily on the cloth. ”There we go. That’s better isn’t it? I’ve got you. I promise.”

His shadows gathered over his wings, vigilant and tender as they hovered around Catrin, monitoring her every breath. The dark tendrils of smoke, fearsome to most, softened into playful shapes – a shadowy butterfly landing on her small nose. A giggle broke through the haze of her discomfort, bright and infectious, as Catrin reached for the tiny creature.

Azriel chuckled lightly, his chest warming at the familiar sound. He could spend an eternity just watching her, savoring her small giggles and the brightness she brought into his world.

But it was late, and she needed to sleep.

Cradling her closer to his chest, Azriel brushed a thumb over her small brow in slow, soothing strokes. The same thing his mother used to do for him when he was young. It had been a rare moment of comfort in a childhood that was otherwise filled with pain and darkness. Those fleeting moments of safety in her arms was the only time and place he’d felt safe enough to rest. His mother had known it too, sacrificing their precious time together just so he could find some peace. Happy to just hold her little boy and watch him sleep.

As Catrin nuzzled into the palm of his hand with a happy coo, a swell of understanding flowed through him. An understanding of the depth of his mother’s love and her quiet strength.

Then the same lullaby she had always sung to him slipped from his lips. An old illyrian folk song about the moon’s quiet embrace and the promise of new beginnings. The soft melody carried bittersweet memories with it – of clinging to his mother, desperate for her love and her warmth. Only to be ripped away by cruelty and darkness. Alone with no one to kiss away his tears.

Azriel’s voice faltered for a heartbeat, the weight of old wounds pressing on his chest, but he didn’t stop. Instead, he held his daughter a little tighter and let the words flow from his lips even softer than before. Letting the melody become a bridge between his past and the present. Despite the painful memories, it had once been his beacon of hope. His mother’s voice had followed him into that dark dungeon, promising and pulling him toward a better tomorrow.

Now, he sang it to his own child, every note a promise that she would never endure the same loneliness and heartache. His gift to her. Catrin would never know the cold despair he had felt. In his arms, she would always be warm, safe and loved. So loved.

It didn’t take long before Catrin was fighting to keep her eyes open. His stubborn little girl blinking furiously in an attempt to stay awake and watch his shadows. The butterflies had turned into a small pegasus and other various animals, floating and jumping around playfully above her head.

Azriel gave them a small tug, silently ordering them to stop entertaining her. The shadows quickly fell over her in a thick blanket instead, pulsing around her soothingly along with the familiar hum of her father’s singing.

She was asleep in a matter of seconds.

But even as sleep embraced her, Azriel continued to quietly sing to his daughter and stroking her brow.

It had been seven months since she entered this world.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

Nothing he wouldn’t do for his brave and beautiful mate sleeping in the room next to them.

If he had to sit in this chair all night, stay awake all night, so that both of them finally got some rest— he would.

For them.

His little light. His mate. His entire world.

He would.

Always.

#gwynriel #gwyn x azriel #gwynriel fanfic #gwynriel headcanon #azriel shadowsinger #gwyneth berdara #Azriel fanfic

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thelov3lybookworm · 3 months ago

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Misapprehensions and Confessions

(moodboard creds to @sunshinebingo hehe she made it so pretty 🥹)

Day 1: First kiss

Summary: It has been a regular routine for Gwyn to seek out the spymaster for training. And when he suggests helping her out with getting reaccustomed to society, it doesn't take too much persuasion for Gwyn to agree. But when he doesn't show up one day, Gwyn takes up the liberty to accompany herself into the city.

That one decision is all it takes for it all to fall apart.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 3013

Warnings: none for this chapter, though theres going to be yummy angst in the coming parts heheheh 😋

A/n: SURPRISEE!!! WE'VE BEEN KEEPING IT FROM YOU ALL BUT ME AND POOKIE @sunshinebingo HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A GWYNRIEL FIC TOGETHER FOR @sjmromanceweek 🥹

heres the first part for the mini series for day 1 <3

Read on AO3 here

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYYY!!!🥳🥳🥳

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Gwyn's pov.

Gwyn adjusted her belt around her waist after making sure her white t-shirt was perfectly tucked into her high-waisted jeans, then turned this way and that in front of her mirror, her high ponytail swishing at her back as she assessed herself from every angle. Deciding she looked good enough for her weekly trip to Velaris, she walked out of her dorm room, closing the door behind her.

By the time she reached the balcony on the highest level of the House of Wind, her hands were slightly shaky and her cheeks a little flushed. And they had nothing to do with the pace at which she had climbed the steps to the man landing of the house. The reason why her heart was beating faster, chest heaving, adrenaline rushing and her lips were parted stood at the railing with his back to her in a black t-shirt and equally black sweatpants, the curls of his dark hair tousled as though freshly washed and barely towelled. The afternoon sun gilded the edges of his perfect silhouette and added a bright outline that complemented beautifully with the dark shadows swirling around him.

Gwyn sighed wistfully.

A few wisps of shadows rushed to her at the sound, as excitable and ticklish as they always were. Their nuzzling caused her to giggle and their master to turn around.

“Hello, Shadowsinger,” Gwyn laughed, not yet able to look at him thanks to the shadows who wouldn’t stop circling her.

“Alright, alright, I missed you too,” she said to the shadows. “You saw me this morning at training. And you, little sir,” she pointed at one in particular, “stayed with me for a good hour after.”

The one shadow booped her nose and settled on her shoulder and remained there even when the others moved away from her face so she could see their master. When Gwyn was finally able to look Azriel in the face, she found him staring at her with a look that caused her cheeks to burn.

Gwyn wondered if she would ever be able to control her blushing in his presence. Wondered if the hazel eyes looking at her would ever not make butterflies come to life inside her.

Today marked the third month since their first outing. It had been during one of their private training sessions at night that Azriel had proposed to be her companion while she braved one of her biggest fears; exploring the world outside the library of the House of Wind. Three months of walking beside Azriel as he showed her around Velaris and a few other places of the Night Court, drinking in every information he offered, his advice and praises, leaning on him for security or simply comfort. Three months during which her gratefulness and admiration for him had grown exponentially, turning into something akin to what the protagonists in the novels she read felt for their love interests.

Being an avid reader and a good observer, Gwyn knew that there were signs that did not lie. There were certain things heard and seen that hinted at those which remained unvoiced. The stolen looks and the smiles, the banter and subtle flirting, the touches that had gone from accidental to very much intentional and welcomed; all of these combined with the meddling and teasing from their friends and family made Gwyn hope that, perhaps, if she dared be courageous in ways she hadn’t been yet, she could live a life where her daydreams would be reality.

Unfortunately, no amount of reading or even praying had helped her take the leap from hoping to actually confessing her feelings to Azriel. What if she wasn’t enough? Not pretty enough for this stunning male, not strong enough to be worthy of him, her mere 29 years no match to his 500 of existence and experience?

And yet, the way those hazel eyes were looking at her right now, appreciating and silently approving of her chased away any doubts, his smile making them float away like the shadows that brushed her cheek as they made their way back to him. He extended a hand towards her.

“You ready, Berdara?”

Her name being voiced by his deep voice caused a fluttering in her heart. And a tingle in other places of her that she blushed even more just thinking about. It got worse when she took his hand and felt a shiver run up her arm at the feel of his skin.

“To spend time with you? Always.” She admitted with a smile.

Azriel brought her hands to his lips for a kiss on her knuckles worthy of a romance novel. Gwyn’s heart beat wildly in her chest as she followed him closer to the railing. As she had done many times before, she wrapped her arms around Azriel’s neck and allowed him to effortlessly lift her up bridal style.

Gwyn was enveloped in his arms and his scent, his shadows acting as another blanket that wrapped around them both. It almost felt like they were pulling Azriel and her somehow closer.

“You still won't tell me where we're going today?” She asked.

His wings began spreading behind his back, the sunlight revealing the blue and purple veining on them.

“You’ll see when we get there soon.”

“Can you at least give me a hint?” She insisted.

Azriel rolled his eyes. “As much as I hate to admit it for fear that your head grows bigger, you’re too smart for me to give you a hint without risking that you find out before we get there.”

Gwyn frowned at him, although she glowed inside at the compliment.

“If it sucks, I’m putting a stop to our weekly outings.” She warned him with a lie.

Azriel looked down at her with a tilt of his head. The smirk that tugged at his lips made him look downright sinful.

“You won’t.” He said.

“How can you be so sure?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Because,” he leaned down, his face now so close that the tips of their noses almost brushed, “You won’t dare deprive us both of our favourite day of the week.”

He shot up into the sky without warning. Gwyn squealed and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

She wanted to retort and challenge his last claim. But he was right. And he knew that he was right. It was something they had told each other before, word for word even. A confession that had come out during a picnic on a cliff overlooking the sea, in between a conversation about their respective pasts and another that had been filled with laughter.

There had been another confession on the edge of her lips back then, threatening to spill out without her permission as he had cradled her cheeks to swipe away her tears. But fear had made her swallow it, just like it did every time they met up.

Gwyn had promised to herself that she would be brave and strong. But confessing one's feelings, she had realised, was much harder than luring a beast or cutting down any physical enemies. She was a Valkyrie, always ready to fight and protect. She had been trained to use every weapon that had been put in her hands and had learned how to turn seemingly harmless objects into deadly ones. Yet Azriel was a ribbon that she had yet to find out how cut.

One day, she vowed as she gazed at him while they flew above the clouds. Soon, she decided when he pulled her slightly higher and brushed his lips to her forehead.

The flight to their destination was shorter than Gwyn had anticipated. They landed in front of a building at the border of Velaris. But while she had always seen it in a state of construction, now the green tarpaulin had been removed to reveal a place that looked like it had come out of a dream.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Azriel's pov.

Azriel had been on many dates. Romantic, platonic, work related. He had been to plenty.

But none compared to this.

The time he spent with Gwyn. Watching her smile freely, gave him a sense of purpose, a sense of him doing something right. She was beginning to open up to him, and it made him feel like he was on top of the world. The fact that she trusted him, no one else, to take her down to the city and get reacclimated to socialising after a traumatic event no female- or male, for that matter- should have to go through was truly a freeing feeling.

It made him feel like he was not just inherently bad, like he wasn’t just a sadist who tortured people for a living and a messed up sense of obligation. The tainted hands he owned, the shadows that he used to spy on people, they could be used to bring comfort, happiness.

They could make someone feel secure, safe.

Even now, as Azriel placed his hand gently on the small of Gwyn’s back, the feelings remained. He led her into the beautiful two-story white stone building with wide terraces on each level. Gwyn stared at the place in awe, marveling at all the green plants they had been able to fit on the ceilings and at every column and railings. Azriel watched with rapt attention as her eyes roved over every surface, wide with wonder.

As they climbed over the few steps that led to the entrance, he nudged Gwyn, motioning with his free hand. Her lips parted as her gaze landed on the fountain that glimmered inside no doubt what was the lobby, only confirming this place as coming out of a dream. It was the epitome of elegance and romance.

And Azriel wondered if she too described this place as that. As something romantic.

Wondered if she knew he felt such feelings. That there was a reason he brought her to such an intimate place.

He told her to wait, then hurried over to the reception. One of the workers dressed from head to toe in pristine white garments tinted with light gold shimmer led the two to a table in the far back.

The inside was almost opposite from the outside in that the outside seemed to be shining under the afternoon sunlight. The interior, though, was darkly lit.

Everything seemed mysterious, from the candles that hung from sconces, to the ones that stood proudly on the candelabras on the white cloth covered tables. Stained glass windows covered large portions of the walls, changing colour with every step they took, further adding to the dark allure. One moment, they displayed a plethora of reds, then blue the next step.

It was easy to assume the glass panes were most likely charmed.

The worker stopped at a table next to a window that displayed a beautiful portrait of a woman peering up at the skies, her eyes upturned and hands raised in prayer. It almost looked haunting.

Azriel hurried to pull Gwyn’s chair back for her, then walked over to the other side to settle down himself.

“Azriel, this place is beautiful.”

Even the syllables of his name rolling off her tongue made his ears turn warm.

“You think so?” She nodded, her eyes still wandering around. “So you like it?”

She looked almost offended that he’d even asked such a stupid question. “Of course I like it! Anyone would love this place. It is so beautiful.”

Azriel folded his arms over the table, smiling as he gazed at Gwyn. “It opened recently, so I thought we could try out the food.”

She nodded. “I’ve seen this place before, but I think they were under construction then.”

He hummed. “So, what have you been up to this past week?”

She groaned, leaning back in her seat and dragging her hands down her face. “Don’t ask. Merrill has been bothering me so much. It’s almost like she’s trying to kill me or something.”

Azriel raised an amused brow. “Why is that?”

Her brows furrowed in annoyance. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Me? Laugh at you? Never.” He raised his hands, his smirk widening.

She huffed. “Go away. I won’t tell you.”

He chuckled, mirroring her position. “I’m sorry, I won’t laugh. Please, tell me how the awful female has been causing you woe.”

“One day, I will force you to work with her, and you won’t be so amused anymore.” She grumbled under her breath.

It only took a bit more encouragement, but she finally began speaking, forgetting his initial disrespect to her frustrations. She spoke throughout the whole time they spent in that restaurant, and Azriel was only too happy to listen.

Time lost its meaning, and before long, they were walking side by side down the market square.

“Can we go home?”

Azriel glanced over at her, then towards where the sun was setting. “Why?”

She sighed. “I need to finish researching some nymph-fae relations from centuries ago. Merril wants me to hand them in before tomorrow.”

Azriel’s lips twitched, but he nodded dutifully, avoiding her narrowed eyes as he bent to scoop her into his arms.

“One day, Azriel. I will make you pay for making fun of me.”

Azriel only looked up to the skies, then pumped his wings, catching the breeze and gliding over it. She squealed, her hold tightening on his neck. Azriel found it adorable, how she never really got used to flying. Each time, she’d make surprised noises and cling to him tighter.

“Would it kill you to give me a warning?!” She said into the skin of his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

He’d be lying if he denied not warning her before jumping into the skies on purpose.

Lights were beginning to come on by the time he levelled out, and he squeezed Gwyn’s waist, prompting her to glance down. She smiled, her eyes tracking over all the tiny lights and their reflections off of the Sidra.

“I can never get used to this.”

He said nothing, just watched her. Sure, Velaris was beautiful and he himself remained in awe of the city, but nothing was more beautiful than Gwyn smiling. The way her eyes twinkled, the way her skin crinkled around her eyes and lips, the way her freckles shifted. Everything about her had him hypnotised, and he would never, ever, complain about anything in his life if he got lucky enough to see the sight all day, everyday.

For now, though, he was grateful he could even see the beautiful sight twice a day at training.

Too soon for Azriel’s happiness, his feet made contact with the floor on one of the house of wind’s balconies. It was the one closest to the library. He didn’t even know why he always picked this particular balcony to land on, but maybe in his subconscious, he wanted Gwyn to feel safer by landing in the place closest to her place of comfort.

Gently setting Gwyn on her feet, he straightened. She turned to him, and he knew what was coming.

It was a ritual, almost. After every outing of theirs, Gwyn would turn to him, smile, thank him, and then kiss his cheek.

It always left him a blushing mess.

He could see her preparing to rise onto her tiptoes, smiling up at him. Maybe if he kissed her cheek before she could, maybe he wouldn’t be left flustered?

Yes. And she might get shy and blush…It would be perfect, his shadows whispered excitedly.

But… no. It would be too forward of him.

Why? They complained.

Because I do not know if she is comfortable enough with me kissing her, he replied to them.

She likes master.

No. And even if she does, I do not know if-

Here’s the thing about his shadows. They were just that, shadows. Wispy, dark tendrils of smoke. But they could be corporeal when he needed them to be.

And being their own beings, when they wanted to be.

So Azriel wasn’t expecting them to become semi solid at that moment as Gwyn’s lips were barely a hair's breadth away from his skin.

Nor was he expecting them to push against his other cheek, making him turn his head in surprise.

Azriel’s eyes widened as he realised the proximity between him and her. He only had a moment to turn his head away, hoping her lips would land on her cheeks.

Alas, he was too slow.

Her lips grazed his cheek, sure, but they also touched the corner of his.

He froze, his gaze fixed on her face, the skin tinting a deep, beautiful shade of red. She pulled away quickly, her heartbeat so loud that Azriel could almost hear it.

He swallowed, his own heart beating in his throat. Blood rushed to his neck and ears as he looked at her, her eyes wide and lips parted.

I could get used to this sight, he thought.

But now wasn’t the time for such thoughts. He needed to apologise.

“Gwyn I-”

“Bye-”

They both spoke, then stopped. Waiting for the other to speak. Neither of them did.

It got so awkward to the point that Azriel sighed, taking a step away. Maybe it had not affected her as it did him. Maybe he had imagined her heart beating quicker. Maybe he imagined the blush on her face.

It was not a big deal, he wanted to tell himself.

But he knew that it was. A very big deal. At least to him.

But still, he bowed his head, offered her a smile. Motioned for her to speak.

“See you next week, shadowsinger.” She mumbled with a sweet smile. She didn’t meet his eyes, staring instead at the one shadow that had refused to leave her side the entire outing and was now wound around her wrist.

He watched her go, feeling the need to say something but fearing it wouldn't be enough.

It had never been before.

He had never been. Not for himself, not for anyone.

But, for Gwyn, could he ever be?

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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sadiegirl2021 · 3 months ago

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Gwynriel was born 4 years ago and there are already 1393 fics on Ao3 with their relationship tag.

That's basically a fic a day released for approx 3.8 years!

What an inspirational pair 💙

Sarah knew what she was doing! I can't wait for her to give us more!!

#gwynriel #pro gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #acotar fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 fanfic

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houseofhurricane · 3 months ago

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Look, I can’t promise anything, as I have an eight-month-old baby and am lately quite bad at finishing writing projects, not to mention the fact that I’ve been MIA in the ACOTAR fandom for a long, long while, but…I’ve been working on a Gwynriel fic again.

There’s something about these two that always feels like coming home.

#gwynriel #lamest return from hiatus ever?#yes the world is on fire but the fanfic still needs to get written

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cestdavee · 4 months ago

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My take is that I frankly don't care when the next ACOTAR book comes out. I'm actually cool with it taking so long and perhaps taking even longer. I'm having such a fun, silly, goofy time with the fanfiction of this universe, whether it's reading or writing it, that I'm vibing as is. A new book might just interrupt the experience I'm currently having to be honest. People are so wound up in ship wars, while I'm kicking my feet reading about a Nesta/Azriel/Eris throuple and writing about bisexual Gwyneth Berdara. I'm good, babe, you don't gotta worry about me.

#acotar #gwyneth berdara #nesta archeron #azriel #eris vanserra #ao3 #acotar fanfiction #bookblr #booklr #ao3 fanfic #nezriel #neris #azris #nezris #gwynriel

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dawneternal · 11 months ago

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Yes, Valkyrie

₊⊹ Gwynriel one shot

₊⊹ Gwyn is inspired by a scene in her current read. Of course, she begins conspiring to reenact this scene, with a little help from Azriel's shadows. Somewhere along the way, she discovers a persona she had no idea was waiting under the surface.

₊⊹ Word Count: 2.8k

₊⊹ Warnings: Smut, 18+, minors DNI. Established relationship. Gwyn is in charge, Az is tied up (kind of) p in v, shadow play, wing play.

(listen I don't write that much smut so idk how to tag this, if I missed anything pls let me know)

₊⊹ Read on AO3

₊⊹ Divider by tsunami-of-tears

Gwyn snapped her book shut and set it on the table in front of her. She took a long sip of her iced coffee in an attempt to cool her warm skin. The story was getting a little too salacious to read in public. Nesta or Emerie would probably keep reading, though they were both better at masking their emotions.

She glanced at Azriel, who hadn't noticed a thing, engrossed in his own book. She wasn't sure if it was something he was reading for fun or for work. They all tended to look the same, thick and weathered with a million dog-eared pages and notes in the margins. As his mate and a librarian, Gwyn should probably know. But she wasn't often thinking about books when she was with him.

Like now, as she found her eyes wandering from the long-winded title on the spine to his long fingers, poised to turn the page. Her gaze slid up, tracing the outline of his form. It was his day off and he wore a black shirt that hugged his muscled arms and torso. His black curls were perfectly messy, tortoiseshell reading glasses perched on his nose. His shadows buzzed around him like sleepy bees on a sunny day - a sign that he was actually relaxed. Even while he focused, brows furrowed and bottom lip poked out in concentration, he kept a claiming hand on Gwyn's thigh.

He did not notice her scent change as her thoughts turned back toward her book, replacing the love interest's features with his. The love interest of this story happened to have wings like Azriel, and a few specific lines were echoing in her mind. He had let her touch his wings before, but nothing quite like the scene she had just read.

Gwyn swallowed a wicked grin and stretched her arms up and out, letting out a long, pretend yawn. She let her fingertips brush the edge of his wing as she brought her arms back down. He started, shadows darting into action as his wings tucked into his body with a snap. He turned his head toward her slowly with a wide-eyed look that read are you crazy?

"My bad," Gwyn smiled innocently. Azriel blinked at her for a moment before returning to his reading. But she felt it, the flicker of heat he had sent through the bond as her fingers had brushed his wing.

✦✦✦

When they returned to the House of Wind, Gwyn quietly trailed Azriel into their shared room. His shadows were on her side today, choosing not to alert him to the fact that he was being followed. She was the only one who was silent enough to sneak up on him.

She closed the door with a thud, leaning against it, and that wicked grin returned. Azriel jumped, head whipping to look over his shoulder. The shadows danced with amusement at their clever trick.

"Yes, Valkyrie?" He huffed a breath. Her gaze lingered on his backside, meandering up to meet his gaze as he turned around fully.

"I have an idea," Gwyn said.

Her voice was a note deeper than usual and it had his attention. He tilted his head at her, eyes gleaming with interest.

"Do you trust me?" Gwyn continued, and she watched his eyes darken.

"Yes," His voice was a little breathy and the Valkyrie grinned.

"Wings only," She explained, pushing off the door and stalking closer until they were nearly chest to chest.

Azriel's eyebrows shot upwards, but Gwyn did not miss the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

"Yes," He said again, after a moment.

Gwyn reached out, sliding her hands under his shirt to lift it from his body. He let her, utterly still as she pulled it over his head and began a constellation of kisses, connecting his tattoos and battle scars. The bond was humming, pulsing with warmth at every touch, doubling the thrill of anticipation. He watched in adoration, fingers tangling in her ponytail as she unbuckled his belt and slid his pants and underwear to the floor.

"Kneel on the bed," She ordered, blood singing with anticipation as she looked up at him. His cock twitched at the command and he obeyed, crawling into the bed and kneeling in front of her. Arms loose at his sides, muscular thighs spread, his body was on full display.

Gwyn let her hair down, the white ribbon that had been tied in a bow now dangling from her fingers. She circled around to the other side of the bed and gently grasped his wrists. His breath hitched as she bound his hands with the ribbon, but he did not protest.

"Good boy," Gwyn murmured, pressing one chaste kiss to his shoulder before moving to face him again.

She caught his gaze dragging over her as she stood before him, and she let herself admire him in turn. His smooth bronze skin, slim hips and absurdly defined abs, and strong arms that could break through the ribbon any time he wanted. But judging by his blown pupils and hardening cock, he was exactly where he wanted to be.

Gwyn peeled her clothes off slowly, holding his eye contact as she did so. She let her breasts bounce as she pulled off her bra, chuckling as his shadows rushed forward to caress her bare nipples.

"Keep your shadows to yourself, pretty boy," She murmured, swallowing a gasp at their cool, light touch. Almost reluctantly, they returned to their master, swirling around his head like a dark halo.

Free of her clothes, Gwyn moved to stand before him, eyes flicking over the sweat already beading at his brow. She lifted his chin with her fingers and smirked as she bypassed his lips, leaning to press soft kisses down his throat, drinking in the rapid beat of his pulse. She traced his body with a gentle touch, running over the lines of his tattoos and the grooves between his muscles. It was a routine she could not bring herself to break, mapping his body with the affection he deserved. She heard his breath hitch again, wings rustling behind him as they untucked and spread.

The Valkyrie climbed onto the bed and moved behind him, peppering the back of his neck and shoulders with open mouthed kisses, tongue sliding over his skin. Avoiding his wings just yet.

"Are you ready?" She leaned forward and purred into his ear, breasts pressed against his back.

"Mhm," He murmured, chest rising and falling.

"Words, shadowsinger."

"I'm ready," He stammered, as if it were hard to conjure words in this position.

"You'll tell me any time you want to stop?"

"I promise."

Satisfied, Gwyn began, dipping her finger into the inside seam where the velvety dark wing met his skin, facing toward his shoulder blade. The skin was especially soft, protected from wind and sun. He let out a quiet moan, arching his back into her touch.

"So responsive," Gwyn murmured, circling her fingers around to the other side, stroking along the thick base of his wing.

"I can't help it," He groaned, shivering again.

"No?" She asked, leaning forward to run her tongue over the spot where her fingers had just been. The base of the wing was fuzzy, like the skin of a peach.

"Fuck," Azriel grunted.

"So my book wasn't lying?" She asked, her voice like a sultry song. Her hands continued their exploration, up the solid arches of his wings toward the shining talons.

"I should've guessed this came from a book," He ground out.

Gwyn wanted him incapable of speech, not taunting her. So she pressed harder, raking her nails back down the thin membrane as she licked a stripe up his spine. His wings shivered, trembling with the effort of deciding wether to lean in or move away. A conflict that Azriel often subjected her to, and now she could get even.

"What were you saying?" She crooned, and smirked when she got no answer. Only the shadowsinger's heavy breathing, his shadows pulsing around him.

She touched every inch of wing, memorizing their beautiful shape, adding every curve and texture to the map in her mind. Every seam had a dip the perfect size for her finger to drag through, the skin so delicate, the structure so intricate and lovely.

His body shone with sweat as worshipped without mercy, savoring the salty taste of his skin as she pulled moan after and moan from his throat. It almost seemed as though those wings were built purely for pleasure, the way his body reacted to her touch, the noises he made purely sinful.

By the time she had returned to her starting point, having licked, nipped and stroked everything she could reach, Azriel's entire body shook.

She rose up on her knees and peered over his shoulders to catch a glimpse of his face, contorted in pleasure, and his cock, red and weeping. A few times, his shadows swept in toward her and then backed away, just barely brushing her skin. As if Azriel had begun to reach for her and then remembered the rules.

"Tell me which part you like best," She let her breath brush over his ear again, reveling in the goosebumps spreading in response. He was so close to falling apart, one foot in a realm of pure pleasure.

"The-the," He swallowed hard, a groan escaping in between words as he answered, "The inside, near my shoulder blades."

Gwyn hummed, watching his muscles tighten in anticipation as her fingertips moved back toward that inner seam. The sounds he released as she found that hidden spot lit a fire in the Valkyrie's stomach. She didn't have to look to know that her arousal was dripping onto the bed beneath her. As if she cared, right now.

"Fuck," He groaned, "I can't...I need...."

Gwyn was driven wild by the glistening muscles flexing against the ribbon that bound him. She threaded her fingers into his dark curls and tugged, not very gently.

"Come for me," She commanded, voice low and wicked and she dug her fingertips in deeper.

The moan that he released was nothing like his usual gutteral groan. This was higher pitched, soft and breathy and elicited from some deep and desperate place. Gwyn did not know that a noise could make her cunt throb the way it did.

She gave him barely a moment to come down from his high before she was crawling around to face him, grabbing his face in her hands and kissing him fiercely. He chased her lips with his, emitting broken sounds into her throat as her tongue swept in.

Pulling back to look at him, panting, she wasn't sure she had ever felt this desperate. Azriel was entirely undone and at her mercy, his chest slick with sweat and painted with his cum, hands still tied behind him as he panted. His hair stuck up where she had pulled it, his eyes dark and full of desire. And something new, that she hadn't seen before. She was sure he'd seen it often. It was desperation, like he was one kiss away from begging for what he wanted.

"Do as I say and you'll be rewarded," She said, leaning in to graze his lips as she spoke. She kissed him again, softly. Agonizingly slow, even as he tried to speed up.

Gwyn pulled back, dragged two fingers through the stripes of white dripping down his torso and pushed them into his mouth.

"Suck."

His cock twitched against her thigh, already hard and aching again. He kept his eyes locked on hers as his warm tongue swirled around her fingers, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

"Good boy," She murmured, and the whine he let out was against his will.

Gwyn had been in charge before, but she had never dared to be this bossy. It had not even come from the book that had inspired this whole thing. This had emerged from somewhere deep inside her, and it set every inch of her skin on fire. Azriel's eyes burned into hers as she took her fingers from his mouth, tightening his lips so her fingers made a pop upon release. He watched as she reached between her legs with those fingers, coated in his spit, for some relief.

She bit her lip, swallowing a moan, cheeks reddening in desperation.

"Can I touch you?" Azriel croaked, pulling at the ribbon that Gwyn had almost forgotten about.

"Remember your manners," She said, fingers still circling between her legs.

"Can I please touch you?"

Gwyn reached around with her free hand and pulled the knot undone. Immediately, one strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his lap to straddle him. And his other hand pushed hers aside, dipping a finger into her soaked cunt.

She was lost to it for a moment as relief rolled through her body. The shadowsinger took the opportunity to attack her neck, kissing and marking with fervor. She closed her eyes and basked in his touch for just a moment before she remembered her task. She would not let her control slip away so easily.

Her eyes snapped open, and she felt a wave of satisfaction as the shadowsinger shrank, just a little. His plan had not worked. The shadows shuddered, as if giggling at their master's foolishness.

"You promised to do as I say," It was almost a growl. She pushed his shoulders until he was laying down, legs straightening out before him as she straddled his hips. "And you tried to take control from me."

Gwyn lowered her body, movements fluid and graceful like a predator, until her chest was pressed against his and they were nose to nose.

"I think I deserve an apology, don't you?" She purred, hips circling and spreading her arousal over his length.

"Yes," He breathed, the amber of his eyes barely visible behind his pupils, "I'm sorry."

"Yes what?" She demanded, sliding her hand up around his throat and pressing the lightest amount of pressure against the sides, "I'm sorry what?"

His eyes widened and for a moment she thought she had gone too far, but then she felt a moan in his throat, vibrating beneath her palm.

"Yes Valkyrie," His voice was broken, body softening like putty under her hands, "I'm sorry, Valkyrie."

"Good boy," A grin spread across Gwyn's face. She sat up, keeping that hand wrapped around his throat as she rose up and aligned them. The other braced against his chest. She did not bother with a slow entry, sinking down on his cock in one motion, thighs flush against hips. He let out a hiss as she paused to let herself adjust.

The world around her was fading as her desperation grew, her body aching almost painfully. It would almost be a mercy to relinquish control again. But she craved the rush of this position as much as she craved release.

"Let your shadows touch me," She choked out the words, beginning to move her hips. Azriel obeyed, letting his shadows loose. They circled her body and attacked, swirling over every part of her they could reach.

Her high was approaching fast, urged on by the sight of Azriel below her, face flushed and lips parted. She pressed against his throat and chest harder, using him as leverage to angle herself deeper. He watched, mesmerized by the rhythm of her body, and grasped her hips, fingertips digging in as he urged her faster. Every rise and fall of her hips made an obscene slap, echoing through the room.

With a shadow attached to each nipple and one moving over her clit, she was soaring close to the edge. She slammed down harder, a grunt escaping in time with each smack of her ass against his thighs. Azriel reached up and squeezed her breasts, rolling both nipples between his fingers.

The change from the shadows soft touch to his firm hands pulled her over. Her head fell back as she roared, louder than she had ever let herself. Azriel's hands slid down around her waist to keep her moving and extend the waves of bliss. The hand around Azriel's throat finally loosened, nails dragging down his chest in time with a long, breathy moan.

Finally, she slumped forward, letting her body fall against his as she closed her eyes. Azriel wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. He let her lay still for a long moment before whispering, cautiously,

"Is this still the Valkyrie or is this my Gwyn again?"

"Gwyn," She murmured against his skin. Whatever vixen that possessed her had retreated, leaving her spent and sweaty.

"Good," He said, his voice dropping a note lower. She squealed as those strong arms flipped her around and she found herself laying underneath him, staring up into his smirking face.

"But...." She whispered, suddenly shy, "Did you like her? The Valkyrie?"

"I think I'd have to meet her again to be sure" Azriel murmured, nosing at the space between her shoulder and neck, breath hot against her skin, "But for now it is my turn."

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wishcamper · 6 months ago

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‧₊˚AO3 Masterlist‧₊˚

Nessian

𓆰♕𓆪 A Court of Vice and Victors - Acosf rewrite ft mental healthcare, emotionally intelligent Nessian, Illyrian rebellion, and IC reckoning. Current main longfic, ongoing. 29/40

𓆰♕𓆪 ACOVAV Bonus Chapters - Missing moments from my main fic, ongoing. 5/?

𓆰♕𓆪 smoke signals - modern thanksgiving AU, nesta and cassian bond over being problem children. Ongoing. 5/?

𓆰♕𓆪 My Sweetest Downfall - Samson and Delilah AU, angst with a happy(ish?) ending. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 Hands Down - Beach AU meet-cute with hot lifeguard Cassian. One-shot for now.

𓆰♕𓆪 Win Lose or Draw - Nesta and Cassian vacation in Day, Cassian is a simp for his wife. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 Is This It? - Toxic!Nessian acofas canon divergence, big ouch, big angst. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 Five More Minutes - Fluffy Nesta POV slice-of-life. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 High Stakes - Nesta runs an underground poker game and Cassian is still a simp for his wife. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 Out of the Fog, Into the Mist - Witcher!Cassian and sorceress!Nesta Witcher AU. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 i can picture it (after all these days) - Soft modern AU ft mental health struggles and questions about kids. One-shot.

𓆰♕𓆪 the choiceless hope in grief - ACOWAR missing moments when Cassian goes to visit Nesta at the HoW, and confronts more than he bargained for. Multi-chapter, 2/3.

𓆰♕𓆪 would it be enough? - modern AU songfic based on peace by TS. When Cassian gets down on one knee, Nesta has a question of her own. One-shot.

Gwynriel

𓆩♡𓆪 Dark Matter - Grad student AU ft neuropsych student Gwyn and insomniac Azriel. On hiatus. 1/?

Misc.

ʚ🔮ɞ Thicker Than Water - Nesta gets more than she bargained for when she asks Cassian about his past sexcapades. One-shot.

ʚ🔮ɞ Killing Amren - Killing Eve-inspired Nesta x Amren relationship post-acosf. One-shot.

ʚ🔮ɞ Ash From Your Fire - Angsty Rhysta AU where Rhysand finds a different Archeron on Fire Night. One-shot.

#nessian #acotar #fanfic #gwynriel #acotar fanfiction

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thevalkyriesshadow · 1 month ago

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Call me, maybe?

A coffeeshop Gwynriel AU written for @gwynrielshappyendings Alternate Universe April!

Summary

Gwyneth Berdara is a senior at Velaris University studying forensic science. When she's not taking classes at night, she's working as a barista at Starfall Cafe to make a little extra money. Little did she know she'd also catch the eye of the cafe's broody regular, Detective Azriel Montrose.

Read chapter 2 on AO3!

#gwynriel happy endings #gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #acotar #pro gwynriel #azriel shadowsinger #gwyn x azriel #azriel #azriel x gwyn #gwynriel fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #au writing #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #coffeeshop au

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darkest-fantasy · 1 year ago

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I can just imagine Elain and Lucien stuck at an Inn. Lucien is hurt, it is raining, they’re both frustrated. Then it all comes out all at once, all the feelings bottled up after all these years.

“I burn for you. I burn for someone who does not feel the same!”

“You burn for me?” Elain asks, one hand placed over her throat.

“Why do you think I went to find Vassa? With no army, no resources? Completely blind into dangerous territory?” He says in a whisper.

Elain takes a step back, her back hitting the wall, shaking her head in disbelief. “I-”

Lucien lowers his head but takes a step forward, closing in on them. He places a hand on the wall behind them. Elain can feel his heat elapse along his skin.

“I’ve burned for you even before I knew you were my mate. I burned for you when I broke out of those restraints. I’ve burned for you the second I laid my eyes on you.”

There was one single pause, and then Elain felt the tug, his heart, his heat.

“I burn for you.” Elain could not believe she said it, that it finally all came out.

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heirofshadowsingers · 4 months ago

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I started writing a little something for Gwynriel and decided to post a little peak now to see if anyone would be interested to read the rest

Soooo here you go! Let me know if you’d like to read more of it 😇

READ THE FIRST PART HERE

Azriel surveyed the crowd before him with a sense of unease. Loud laughter and music floated through the air, and yet, it was his shadows who kept grabbing his attention– anxiously tugging and whispering their demands.

Go search, they seemed to command. Go. Go. Go.

I can’t leave, he replied silently and they hissed back in disapproval, still tugging, urging him to leave the lavish ceremony and fly off into the cool night.

Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony was, as expected, outrageous. Rhysand had vowed to make it the most ornate mating ceremony Prythian had ever seen, and he had certainly spared no expenses. The small temple was overflowed by different kinds of flowers, while expensive silks adorned any remaining surface. Faelights and candles hung from the ceiling in luxurious chandeliers and lanterns, their golden and rosy glow bathed the dais and aisle in warmth.

It was a setting plucked straight from the pages of one of Nesta’s romance novels.

Despite the grandeur of the small temple, it was Cassian who Azriel couldn’t stop watching while they’d waited for the ceremony to start. It was the first time he’d ever seen his brother look so nervous, and there was something endearing about the way he kept fidgeting, his entire body brimming with an almost boyish excitement—even if the frilly suit looked absurdly extravagant for someone like the Lord of Bloodshed.

Mor had taken one step inside the temple, shared a sly look with Azriel, and the two of them had nearly burst into teasing laughter. Cassian had caught their mischievous smirks and pointed a warning finger in their direction, grumbling, “One fucking word. I dare you.”

Azriel decided to keep his mouth shut, because, well, Nesta had picked the suit for him and Azriel wanted to live long enough to see the end of the ceremony.

Besides, after sharing another knowing look with Mor, they both knew there would be plenty of time in the future to remind Cassian about the frilly suit.

However, Azriel would be lying if he said the ceremony wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever been a part of. It was an honor to be there, to witness it all, and it had nothing to do with the flowers or the pretty garlands. No, it was the raw and genuine emotion rising between Cassian and Nesta. The overwhelming love radiating around them as they swore their vows— it was enough to bring tears to even Azriel’s eyes.

Not that he would ever admit that outloud.

Just like he would never voice the envy brewing inside his chest from seeing his brother, both of them, with their mates.

Those thoughts—those quiet and selfish ones— would follow him to the grave, even if they were slowly consuming him.

He would make sure of it.

After the ceremony, Rhys had arranged for an even more outrageous dinner and a party to celebrate the mating. Nesta hadn’t wanted to invite too many people, but it had not stopped Rhys from still going all out. Especially since some invitations had also gone out to the High Lords of Summer, Day and Winter as an offer to keep their alliances blooming in good nature.

A large tent had been set up in the garden of the River House to host the glorious reception, where all guests had gathered to eat and dance and eat again until dawn.

Even if the couple being celebrated most likely wouldn’t be staying until dawn themselves.

A bet had been placed among them, speculating how long Nesta and Cassian would last before the need to consummate the mating took over. Azriel had assumed his duties as chaperone had given him enough knowledge regarding their lack of control, and had been confident there was no way they’d last longer than the actual ceremony.

Unfortunately, he had lost hours ago.

Feyre, so far, was winning– having had more faith in her sister’s desires to dance throughout the night, rather than her need to consummate the mating. Which Azriel, if he had been smart about it, should've considered before placing his bet. The couple had already consummated their bond plenty; they’d barely left their bed since Nesta came back from the Blood Rite.

Cassian, to his credit, seemed more than happy to assist his mate in said dancing as they twirled across the dancefloor. He had not stopped smiling once since seeing Nesta in her beautiful cream colored gown.

Azriel himself had not yet set foot on the dancefloor, despite being asked by several beautiful females. He could not shake the uneasy feeling creeping over him that something was wrong. He just couldn’t figure out what. There was absolutely nothing amiss as the crowd kept dancing to the beautiful symphony played by some of Velaris' most talented musicians. There was no looming threat hanging over any of them. No reason for the uneasy feeling.

Still, something felt wrong.

It wasn’t until Nesta and Emerie shared a long and heartfelt hug that the final puzzle piece fell into place. It hit him so hard it nearly knocked the air out of him as he scanned the crowd again; searching for a familiar face that was oddly absent... Gwyn.

Fool, the shadows screamed at him, or perhaps it was his own mind screaming at him this time.

First part is out, read here

#gwynriel fanfiction #gwynriel fanfic #gwynriel #azriel x gwyn #acotar fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #gwyneth berdara

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gwynrielshappyendings · 7 months ago

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Unwrap the ✨️spice✨️ this holiday season with a special gift from a few of us in the Gwynriel community!

Gwyn and Az have been gifted the Kama Sutra for Solstice. Join them as they explore the positions and each other. 😉

Fics will post daily between December 1st-24th.

Listen to Gwynriel's Dirty Deeds Playlist while you read!

Image by @sadiegirl2021

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thelov3lybookworm · 3 months ago

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Misapprehensions and Confessions (part 2)

(moodboard creds to @sunshinebingo🥹)

Day 2: First Fight

That one decision is all it takes for it all to fall apart.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 3943

Warnings: angst hehehe, misunderstanding, azzie is a dummy but sweetheart cassian is there to make you happy 💪🏻 a teensy bit of an argument, but i think thats it?

A/n: heres the second part for the mini series for day 2 of @sjmromanceweek❣️ writing the angst was so much fun honestly, LIKE IT GAVE ME LIFE 🥹🥹🥹

once again, it was so good doing this collab with my love @sunshinebingo 🥹 ily so much omg thank you for doing this w me😭🥹

Read on AO3 here

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYYY!!!🥳🥳🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Gwyn’s pov.

Next week came, but the Shadowsinger did not.

Gwyn had been waiting for almost an hour at their usual meet up spot in one of the sitting rooms in the House of Wind, having snagged a book from the library to flip through as she waited.

She had been excited for the meet up, to say the least. She couldn’t stop wondering where he was going to take her this time after going to the restaurant the previous week. The thought had kept her up all night as she twisted and turned in her sheets.

She had gone the extra mile while getting dressed up too, picking out the teal sweater Azriel had once mentioned made her eyes look brighter. Under that, she wore a pencil skirt with tights, having seen one of the females in Velaris wear something similar. She had thought the female looked pretty, and wanted to see what she looked like in it herself.

She continued to flip the pages of the book, reading and reading, smiling at the words. The story was cute, one of a female who was trying to save her family with the help of her siblings and friends, one of them being her love interest. The banter, the softness they shared made Gwyn long for a similar connection, if not more.

She loved the male love interest a lot, and the fact that he was so similar to one of her own friends did not go unnoticed by Gwyn.

Maybe she will have her own love story one day, with the friend she liked more than she should.

More than friends should like each other.

But with each moment that passed, her eyes stopped reading, and remained unseeing. The tilt of her lips fading as she got lost in her own head. She stared down at the soft, crinkling pages, running her fingers over the edges. They were painted in beautiful shades, depicting a scenery of a mountain from the book.

Pretty.

But not pretty enough to distract her from the absence of a certain Shadowsinger.

Footsteps drew Gwyn from her reverie, and she perked up, her gaze lading on the doors she had left ajar. Hope bloomed in her gut, even as she knew it was not the one she had been expecting coming closer to her.

The footsteps were too heavy, too powerful, to be his.

Still, she waited, she watched, she wished.

She hoped.

And a moment later, Cassian strutted into view, a smile gracing his face when he realised Gwyn was in the room. She returned the smile, willing her disappointment to vanish.

“Gwyn! Good seeing you here!” He paused behind the couch adjacent to the one Gwyn sat on. “I thought you might be down in Velaris, this is a pleasant surprise.”

Gwyn sighed, relaxing into the soft cushions behind her. “Yeah, I thought so too.”

His brows furrowed, and he quickly glanced around the room. “Where’s Az?”

She shrugged, setting the book aside and pushing to her feet. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s busy?”

Cassian’ confusion was palpable as he huffed. “He can never be busy enough to put off your dates.”

“We don’t go on dates.” Gwyn scowled. “They are outings.”

He simply smirked in return, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. “Sure, right. My bad.”

Gwyn’s eyes narrowed as she watched him walk over to the balcony, dusting off her skirt absentmindedly. “Are you going somewhere?”

He glanced back at her, nodding. “Nesta’s at the river house with Feyre and Nyx. Gonna go pick her up.”

Gwyn chewed on her lip as she thought, then her eyes shot to him. “Hey Cass?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you take me down to the city?”

This time he turned to her fully, his brows high on his forehead. “I…what?”

Gwyn rolled her eyes, ignoring the new sadness taking root in her chest at the lack of those playful shadows and their quiet master’s presence. “Do you not want to?”

He took a step forward before pausing, extending his hand. “Oh no, no I would love to. I am just surprised, that’s all.”

Gwyn raised an eyebrow, but moved closer to him to let him pick her up. By this point, she was comfortable enough with him that the spike of fear and anxiety no longer pierced her heart when he was in close proximity to her, and it was just another thing she was proud of herself for.

He gently wound his arms under her knees and back, careful to only touch her where needed, and flapped his wings once. There was a reason the house built in the mountain was called the House of Wind, because as soon as he lifted from the ground, a powerful gust of wind caught under his wings and sent them soaring. He glided smoothly, his wing muscles beating effortlessly. Five centuries of flying practice truly showed in his skills.

Gwyn had once studied about wings and how they work, reading extensively about Illyrian ones. They had been so fascinating to her then, as they were fascinating to her now. The way they moved always had her mesmerized. Every time she flew with Azriel too, she would either always stare at his wings or the city down below.

Azriel.

Gwyn looked away from Cassian’s wings, instead casting her gaze downwards, towards the ground that rapidly grew closer as he descended. His feet touched the ground with a light thump before he bent slightly and set Gwyn on her feet.

“Are you sure about this, Gwyn?”

She turned to him, nodding. “I am. We go out every week so I can get accustomed to socialising once more.” And just because Gwyn was feeling petty, she added. “I’m not going to mess up my routine just because someone cannot be bothered to inform me before standing me up.”

Cassian’s lips parted, but then he closed them with an amused smirk. “Very proud of you, Gwyn.”

Though his expression was teasing, his words sounded so genuine they nearly brought Gwyn to tears.

“Thank you, Cass.”

“I will likely be here for an hour or two, depending on Nyx’s mood and who he is currently attached to today, so you can just come to the River House if you want to go back.” He clasped her shoulder, smiling. “And even if I’m up there, you can just ask Rhys to get me, yeah?”

Gwyn nodded gratefully. “Of course, thank you again.”

She waited until Cassian had turned away, waving in farewell as he climbed up the steps to one of the majestic houses of the High Lord.

Then she turned, and began wandering down the street.

She gazed at everything she passed by, unwilling to miss even a moment of the sheer beauty of Velaris. The shimmering waters of the Sidra, the golden shadows casted by the dying sun across the ground and the flora, the faelights bobbing gently over the entrances to shops and restaurants. Hawkers selling their wares, fruit stalls next to dessert stalls.

She walked without a destination in mind, her hand bent at a slight angle towards her thigh - where she had strapped her dagger under her skirt- involuntarily, the action muscle memory at this point.

She was lost in thought, wondering what could have been so important that Azriel had not even bothered to inform her. It could have been that he was on an important mission, and that he had no way to contact her. It could have been that he had almost completely forgotten.

Gwyn didn’t know. But she did know that she was mad, and she would not forgive him until he had grovelled enough.

The moment she had the thought, guilt followed. What if he truly was busy and if he had taken time off to send her a letter, he could have been in danger?

She shook her head, trying to dislodge the thought as she glanced around her. She felt tired already, so bored out of her mind without him. She had no idea what she even wanted to do anymore. It would have been better if she had stayed home and completed her projects for Merrill.

Home.

It was such a beautiful, comforting word. The word that had meant nothing to Gwyn for years after her sister was taken from her. It was just that, a word. No meaning, no feelings.

But for quite some time now, since she had met Nesta, since the day Gwyn had dragged herself to the training ring, telling herself over and over that she would be fine, better even, that Cassan would not hurt her, that he wasn’t that kind of a male, a male pathetic enough to force females to feel better about his own self, the word had taken on a new meaning.

Gwyn had learned that home meant more than just four walls and a roof. Home meant friends. Home meant laughing over trivial things, freely and loudly. Home meant warmth.

Home meant Azriel.

She didn’t know when, or how, but slowly, he had become the definition of friend, the laughter, the warmth that made a home, home.

And slowly, the intimidating, lonely walls that had kept her from the scary outside world became so much more.

It was almost dark, the horizon tinting darker and darker with each passing moment, when Gwyn stumbled upon the restaurant that Azriel had taken her to the previous week.

She smiled at the sight of those pristine walls, the memories that surfaced threatening to make her giggle. She walked on, passing by the entrance, the beautiful stars leading up to it.

And she caught a whiff of the smell she had become so familiar with.

It caused her bones to freeze, her muscles stiffening as she turned her head to look.

The interior was still dark, so different compared to the outside. Soft aroma of chicken, rice, herbs, everything drifted out, mixing into such a sweet smell that it would be impossible to not go in.

But yet, under that, was the smell of cedar, of night, of shadows.

Gwyn’s eyes narrowed, and she had only taken a step up the stairs when she saw him.

Past the reception, past a number of tables and chairs and candles, he sat.

At the same spot he had sat with Gwyn.

With the same smile on his face, his eyes soft. His hand under his chin, his lips tilted as he nodded.

At a female. The chair Gwyn had occupied merely seven days ago was now occupied by a female.

She looked like a complete opposite of her.

Curly blonde hair piled spilled down her shoulders, her eyes and skin the prettiest shade of brown. Her figure was curvy, soft, sweet. So unlike Gwyn.

The female wore a strapless tight fitting dress, the material clinging to her like a second skin.

She looked so comfortable, so confident, Gwyn wondered why she ever thought she even stood a chance with Azriel. Of course he’d be interested in someone who was confident in herself, someone who wasn’t afraid to know and show she was pretty.

His words from the previous week floated around in her head amidst the confusion and hurt, solidifying her new beliefs.

“So you like it?”

“Of course I like it! Anyone would love this place. It is so beautiful.”

Had she been only a friend who he wanted the opinion of to impress the female he was actually interested in? Just a guinea pig?

Gwyn’s eyes prickled, and she took a step away, as if simply the sight of Azriel touching the other female’s hand - smiling secretively, his eyes hooded and seductive- would burn her.

Yet she couldn’t look away, not until someone bumped into her shoulder, apologising profusely. She didn’t even look at the fae. She bowed her head in acknowledgement before willing her legs to move. Hoping to leave before Azriel’s shadows - who for some reason were so attuned to her every move that she would find them anywhere she went - reported her presence to their master.

She moved through the thickening crowds, laughing children and flirting adults. Kept pushing herself to walk, to run, back to the River House. She needed to go back. She knew she could not handle any interactions, especially one with Azriel if he found her before she could drown herself in work.

Just when the house came into sight, she slowed down, blinking hard and regulating her breathing. She could see activity inside the house, soft warm light spilling onto the grass under the windows and the porch leading up to the main door, which opened just as she went to knock.

“Gwyn?” Nesta stared at her wide eyed, brows high in surprise.

“Um, hey Nesta.” Gwyn swallowed uneasily.

Instantly, Nesta was alert. “What happened? Did someone do something? Where’s Azriel?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you Nes. I think Az forgot about their date and Gwyn went into the city alone.” Cassian’s voice answered before Gwyn could, and for that she was grateful, as she wasn’t feeling particularly excited to speak.

Nesta’s eyes hardened as she glanced at her mate. “He mentioned he was going out with a female. Did he not inform you? ” She turned to glare at Gwyn. “And even if he forgot, why the hell did you-”

“Nesta, she is not a child.”

Gwyn’s blood went hot, anger simmering through each vein as she realised he really was on a date. And he had told Nesta, but not her.

She would kill him.

Nesta opened her mouth to speak, then seemed to think the better of it and just pulled Gwyn into a hug. “What happened, Gwyn? Why do you look so spooked?”

Gwyn shook her head as best as she could in her friend’s embrace, her heart finally slowing down slightly at the comforting touch. “Nothing, really. I just got a bit… anxious, that’s all. I just want to go back up.”

Nesta pulled away, nodding and turned to Cassian. “Drop her off at the house please, I can wait.”

“Nesta- no-”

The glare Gwyn received in return was enough to shut her up as Cassian picked her into his arms like she weighed nothing, then shot into the sky.

“She really is scary sometimes, no?”

Gwyn huffed, her lips tilting in a surprised smile. “She was mad when we first met too.”

He laughed, his chest vibrating against Gwyn’s upper arm as she kept her arms folded close to her chest. He quieted after that, his focus solely on the mountain that loomed over them.

He flew towards the main sitting room, which they all used most of the time, as far as Gwyn knew.

But he was not Azriel, and the sitting room was not close to the library.

Just another reminder of how considerate, how attentive Azriel had always been to her. Of how he forgot about her today.

But no, she wouldn’t spend her day thinking about him anymore. Not when he couldn’t even bother to let her know he was going on a real date.

That he was ditching her for the one who he actually wanted.

She bid a goodbye to Cassian, not waiting to see him fly off before she retreated to the dorm she shared with her fellow priestesses, pulling out the large tomes she had been assigned to read through and summarise.

But she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus.

Not with him occupying her thoughts.

Az's pov

Something was wrong.

Azriel had considered many things in order to understand what was bothering him so much.

Last night's mission had gone fine; the female he had to seduce to get important intel an easy one to flirt with to get her to talk, even when his entire being had recoiled at his sweet talking and his suggestive touches. Even his shadows had felt uncomfortable and had hissed after every few minutes of the interaction. But it had been a necessity for his job, his duty towards his court. The accomplishment of this mission should have filled him with relief and a sense of freedom from something he had felt reluctant towards from the start. But still…

Rhys and Feyre had thanked him for the information he had gathered that day. Azriel didn't need their thanks for having done something that was expected of him, although having the validation of his High Lord and Lady had been nice. But still…

Something was wrong.

You know what, one of his shadows whispered. The only one that had bothered speaking to him since his mission with that female. All the others were still oddly silent, leaving that one - the same one which had always favoured Gwyn since they all met her - to occasionally use its voice to throw some scathing comments at him.

Azriel sighed after one of his daggers hit one of the dummies in the training ring.

“Yes. I know,” he muttered, even with no one but the moon and his silent shadows to hear him.

At least he thought.

Footsteps sounded at the doorway, before the source of Azriel’s troubled mind walked onto the training area. An intense wave of emotion washed over him; hope, relief, joy, excitement…awe.

Gwyn looked breathtaking under the starry sky, the night making her look even more fierce as she walked determinedly to the weapons rack clad in skin tight leathers.

Azriel stood still for a moment, unable to move as he watched his shadows - every single one of them - rush to her. Gwyn giggled at their excited dance around her. He heard her whisper something to them but couldn't make out what it was. He mentally called for his shadows to come back to him. None listened.

“Uh… hey,” he finally blurted out.

Gwyn turned to him then. Azriel felt a heavy weight drop in his stomach at the apathetic look in her eyes. His heart constricted with fear and worry, so much that he immediately began walking towards her.

“What happe-”

“Hi,” she cut his question off. Her dry tone stopped him in his tracks.

“Are you alright?”

Something flickered in her eyes for a second before she turned her back to him, took a deep breath in, then out, and picked up a few daggers from the rack.

“I'm fine,” she gritted out without looking at him.

Azriel frowned in confusion.

The hell she was.

He hadn't seen her at training this morning, hadn't caught a single glimpse of her anywhere for the entire day, hadn't heard the sound of her voice. And now that she was here before him, the usual light missing from her eyes and her posture stiff as though from restraint, she dared say that she was fine?

Gwyn walked past him, his shadows trailing behind, and stopped a distance away from the dummies in which the daggers he had thrown earlier were still embedded.

He followed.

“You can lie to anyone about this, Gwyn, but you can't deceive me.”

Her first dagger flew and landed in a dummy's throat. She let out a humorless laugh.

“Is this tonight's lesson then? Lies and deception?”

She threw another dagger, this one lodging itself in the centre of the dummy's chest.

Azriel looked at Gwyn from head to toe, hoping to find answers to the growing mystery unfolding before him. He desperately wished to know what was happening to her. He needed to make her feel better. Azriel needed his Gwyn back.

“Gwyn please,” he took a few steps until he stood right in front of her. His shadows remained closer to her. “What is happening?”

The sadness that darkened her eyes as she looked at him made him feel like the dummy, this invisible weapon sinking straight into his heart. It twisted deeper inside him with the tears that he noticed pooling in her eyes.

He brought a hand up and cupped her cheek. “My Gwyn,” he whispered, unaware that it had made it out of his mouth.

Her teal eyes fixed on his hazel ones, searching. For what, he did not know? But he was certain that he was ready to give her anything. Before he could give in to the urge to pull her into his arms, anger flashed on her face.

She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away.

“Don't,” she said as she put more distance between them.

Azriel didn't hear what she murmured to his shadows due to the beating of his heart resonating in his ears and which drowned out every other sound. He didn't even acknowledge them slithering back to him. He only watched Gwyn run away and disappear through the doorway.

Azriel stood there, frozen and stunned. Until he felt his shadows smack him in the face, their shadowy forms conveniently solid for a task like this.

Idiot master, hissed the one shadow.

Is that all you have to say? He scowled at it. What would have been more helpful was if they told him what was wrong and how he could fix things with Gwyn. But that was apparently not in their plans.

I'm going with her, was all it said before it floated away. The others stayed. They remained silent, leaving Azriel alone with his thoughts.

The conversation - or was it an argument? He wasn't sure - replayed over and over in his head, even as he descended the stairs down into the House of Wind. He was so distracted that he didn't notice Cassian until he almost crashed into the chair he sat in at the living room table.

“Whoa! You alright here brother?” Cass asked, his mouth full of the cake he had a huge slice of on his plate.

Azriel pulled the chair next to Cassian and sat down. He pulled Cassian’s plate towards him and snatched his fork right out of his hand.

“I'm fine,” he said. He winced at the memory of those same words coming from Gwyn. The dread he hadn't realised he had been feeling worsened at the mere thought of her name.

He dug into Cassian's midnight snack, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth.

“You don't have anything to do with Gwyn rushing down the stairs to the library like the house is on fire do you?” Cassian stared at him with raised brows.

Azriel looked at him. “What…?” was all he managed to ask with his full mouth.

What is happening to her, to us? What did I do? How do I fix this?

His shadows still remained silent.

Cassian stared at him while rubbing his chin.

“Listen, I'm only asking because she hasn't seemed well since she went out alone yesterday.”

Azriel suddenly felt like he was swallowing stones. “What?” he asked incredulously.

What is he talking about?

His shadows did not answer him again. But Cassian thankfully did.

“She insisted that she didn’t mind you missing one of your dates,” he put the last word between air quotes, “but her face told another story.”

Cassian kept talking, telling him how Gwyn had looked when she had joined them at the River House after.

Something clicked inside him. The fork he held fell on the table, its clatter echoing in the room.

Finally, his shadows muttered collectively.

“You're more dense than I thought.” Cassian shook his head, disappointment lacing his words as he dragged the plate back to him.

Azriel’s eyes widened. His heart pounded in his chest. His mind raced in panic.

He fucked up. And now he was paying for it, he realised. He needed to fix this. He had to if he wanted Gwyn back. And Azriel was willing to do anything.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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