#gwyn means so well unfortunately his philosophy is why be sad when you could stop doing that

[gwyndolence]

It was this again. Gwyn's expression contorted as Roland went on, eyes narrowing and lips pursed as if the mere act of scrunching up his face would hide his incredulity from his maker. He'd read the recent messages, seen enough to accept that Roland had gone and gotten himself embroiled in a passionate endeavor with some witch or another. Gwyn couldn't help but be bemused by his sire's more romantic tendencies, their philosophies on the subject so monumentally different that the fledgling found himself baffled more than anything by the agony such an effervescent thing as love seemed to bring Roland. What was the trouble, when there were so many other fascinating creatures walking about the earth?

Ah, but perhaps he wasn't being fair, Gwyn mused, scratching lightly at Roland's nape as the other let it out. After all, Roland hadn't talked about anyone quite like Alix in the years since then and now. Gwyn hadn't fully understood that bond either, but he had enjoyed being periphery to it, like stray cat sneaking indoors to warm itself by a steady fire. The quiver in Roland's voice was concerning no matter the context, though. Gwyn frowned and shifted to rub his thumbs over the pained wrinkles marring his sire's forehead -- there was sympathy there, no matter how the workings of Roland's heart puzzled him. "He sounds to be a silly man to tell someone like you what's best for him," The younger conjured up a smile, his quicksilver mind already leaping to far happier things at the prospect of how much fun they could have pulling Roland out of this self-imposed gloom, "And how foolish to leave you unattended, here of all places! Especially now that I'm here."

Gwyn took Roland's chin affectionately in one hand and planted a kiss on his brow before sliding away, beginning to root through the rest of the room with single-minded verve. "I think we should have a drink -- we should really both have many drinks, but we must start with just the one. And you can tell me as much or as little as you want about your cold-hearted beau."

Roland's demeanor clearly shocked Gwyn but that was to be expected given how rarely he acted like this. Oh, the hybrid had seen him in worse states given that he'd been there after Alix but this was still far from the norm for Roland. That wrongness seemed to draw Gwyn to him faster than he normally would've approached and Roland had been right, Gwyn did look well. That was something, at least. It was a little unfair for Roland to be so despondent when they should be celebrating their reunion but the vampire couldn't seem to help it. The pain of being left, of feeling abandoned, of having once again given himself wholly to someone who he wasn't even certain loved him back...well. It was rather all encompassing.

He closed his eyes at the touch to his cheek, leaned into it and lifted a hand to curl gentle fingers around Gwyn's wrist, his slight, sad smile widening just a little at the compliment. "You're too kind." Still, he appreciated it. Roland felt he needed it at the moment given the state he was in. The fingers in his hair and the slight hint of claws was nice as well, opening his eyes to look up at Gwyn when the other man spoke again. What's been done to you? Gwyn knew him well but Roland still glanced away as he searched for the words to answer. "I have missed you but not quite that badly." There was a faint trace of humour, at least an attempt, as he stalled, trying to think of how he could describe it. The ache in him seemed to become that much more visceral as he groped for the words. Another change, since they usually came so easily to him.

"A love affair gone wrong once again." Roland finally managed, quiet, strained, tightening his grip on Gwyn's wrist as he stared at nothing off to the side of his fledgling. "I should've learned to swear off them by now, non? But I couldn't help it." For so many reasons he hadn't been able to help it with Rhys but it was painful to think of them when he wasn't here, when Roland didn't know when he'd get to see him again. Roland swallowed. "He left, as they all do. Not without sweet words and assurances but without an invitation to join him, in fact a strict indictment against doing so. Not an outright break but a 'pause', supposedly for my benefit, even though it's the last thing I want." Was it so much to ask to be valued as highly as he valued his partners, to want to be put first? Over and over again it failed to happen and Roland should've learned his lesson. Alix had gone and spoiled him, though, and then been taken from him prematurely. Now, apparently, Roland had unrealistic expectations, wanting to be loved just as much as he loved. He looked at Gwyn, finally, pained, a tremor in his voice. "So here I am."