#guzma x male skull grunt

[pokemonvillainadventures]

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Guzma x Burnt Out Reader

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When Burn Out Strikes, Take a Stroll Why Dontcha?

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"Auuuugghhhh"

The loud disgruntled moans soon followed by the antsy shaking of your body indicated one thing. You were bored out of your ass. On days you had missions being a Team Skull Grunt was loads of fun. Well if you consider beating up the locals and running from the law as a means of a good time. However, on any other given day, sitting in your shared room, as the rain continues to pour outside as it always did, boredom would come back to haunt you.

Plenty of other grunts would share the feeling and thus over time the grunts would eventually come up with their own "boredom busters" to help pass the time. "Sleeping" and "eating" were the first ideas to be tact onto this unwritten list. A true testament to the sheer creativity that oozes out of these teens and young adults alike. When those ideas came and went, to no ones surprise, more "adventurous" ideas entered the scene.

Laying on your bed your roommates would soon notice your fidgeting body. And so ideas would be thrown around left and right to try and help you overcome todays trial of restlessness.

A young pink haired female grunt would chime in "You could always spray the far left side of the left wall. There should be enough room for SOME piece if you don't mind gettin' a bit soaked."

It wasn't a bad idea per say. Spraying half of Alola in Team Skull parfaneilia was the only other thing you grunts did but a smack to the back of the pink grunts head would say otherwise.

The grunt who dished out the smack was a much older grunt with green spiked hair "No you dolt! That spot is already claimed by me!"

The pink haired grunt would bite back "Well I don't see your name on it!"

The green haired male would answer back annoyed "That would defeat the point of it being an empty spot! If I put my name on it then there's no room for anything else!"

"Not my problem" the pink haired grunt mumbled back

Well that idea was thrown out the window as the two grunts started to argue. Trying to drown out their pointless bickering some of the other grunts would try to pitch in their own ideas. Each one worse than the last.

Freestyle rapping, freestyle dancing, trying to beat up trainers for fun, stealing, stealing nanu's shit, tagging nanu's building, backfliping off the side of the building, attempted parkor.

No. No! NO!

"Auuuuuuughhhhhhh!"

You appreciated the efforts. You did! You truly did, but was there anything that you could do that didn't either land you in the PokeCenter or the Slammers?

Feeling your frustration boil over you made the decision to throw in the towel and realize that todays boredom had conquered you. Tossing your blankets aside and hoisting yourself off the rickety mattress your footsteps pounded throughout the mansion. Some of the grunts even mistook you for the boss with the sheer force your feet were hitting the floor and quickly got out of the way.

Making your way down the stairs and out the door, light rain washed over your body as you plant your behind on the mansion steps.

Your Partner Pokemon shakes in your pocket before bursting out to try and comfort it's trainer. Your lovely little mareep, a cutie but a fighter as well. She lays across your lap, she was the runt of the litter and was told she would never make it. You hated how little your family saw in her, so much so that she's partially the reason why your currently soaking out in Po Towns rain. Still her floofy warm fur was a nice comfort when days seemed grey and dull and today was no different. Brushing her floof and staring up into the bleak rainy sky the boredom never truly left. Was it always going to be like this? Lagging days after lagging days? Missions being your only means of dopamine that fade in an instant the minute you step back into these empty walls?

Okay . . . so maybe you're being a bit overdramatic.

Okay maybe a LOT overdramtic.

Boredom doesn't mean the end of the world  but . . . auuughhhhhh!!

With mareep in your lap and the cool concrete engulfing your back you hadn't even noticed the hulking figure hovering above you.

"So ya gonna keep sulking like a kid on time out or are ya gonna get off your ass and do something?"

Fixating your gaze you look upon the figure and saw none other than your Boss and Leader, Guzma.

If your eyes could roll to the back of your head. "What's it to ya? Is boredam a crime here?"

Shaking off your blatant attitude Guzma steps down and into the rain, he tries to get a cigarette going with minimal success.

"Tsk . . fine keep pouting like that and looking all miserable and see how far that takes you."

Sitting upright you look at the man currently trying to offer you some "guidance" if you'd call it that. His smoking wasn't something you were going to start picking up to try and pass the time. But sitting in silence to internally curse out the world wasn't all that helpful either.

"You doin' good?"

"Huh?"

"You're lookin' tired there, and I know for damn sure it isn't just about bein' bored."

Well he wasn't entirely off. You are consideried to be one of the better grunts. Always trying to do what your told and stand out from the rest. Maybe it's because a part of you believed that you'd receive some sort of grace instead finding out that your reward was days of boredom if you weren't out there disturbing Alola's peace. Day by day you overworked yourself to the bone and for what? Well old habits die hard. You wished you could feel relaxed knowing you've done the bare minimum. Though, if you weren't working till you burned out then we're working hard enough? Maybe that's why you were so hard on yourself when boredom struck. Sitting on your ass when you could be doing something, anything, was enough to get your heart a racin'!

"*under his breath* ah for fuck's sake. *Outloud* Aight' come walk with me." Guzma's voice broke through, causing you to jump a bit in your spot.

"Huh? Why?"

"That wasn't a question. Now move it or stay soaked."

Following behind the two of you pass through Po Towns walls and into the outside world. The rain leaving itself behind while the sun peaked behind grey clouds. You had no idea where he was taking you until your eyes spotted a familiar red meadow. Your gaze looked upon the sea of flowers and, besides two trainers battling in the distance, Ula'Ula Meadows was practically empty.

The whole scene seemed sureal. You didn't take Guzma as the type to want to stroll around a garden for relaxation.

"Okay Grandpa I see you. I see you. Damn whats next on the list. Bingo with Grandma Plums?"

Feeling the smack of his hand on your neck you still notice the small smile through that tough guy demeanor.

"Knock it off. . I just come here sometimes when I run out of shit to throw at my wall. And what's with the grandma comment. You know imma tell her you said that and let's see how well that turns out for you." Looking at you with a smirk running across his face Guzma starts to sit down onto the wooden walkway as the sunsets in the distance.

You follow suit and allow for your mareep to run free through the folliage. Still in the back of your mind this whole thing felt so . . . so . relaxing, not at all what you were used to back in the shady house.

"Look . . I get it. Sometimes a couple drinks or pounding fists at the wall doesn't give you that instant release you're searching for. . so if you want you can always come out here to cool off."

"Seriously?" You look up at him curiously.

"*Blushing* Well yeah? . .*He rubs the back of his head* . . . not like being a part of this team means your my damn prisoner. *Tsk* but don't take this as an opportunity to ditch out on any of your duties here got that!"

You giggle softly. That's the Guzma you know and look up to. Relaxing a bit in your seat you watch as your Mareep frolics happily with a few wild Oricorio. Everything felt a peace for once.

"Sorry for making fun if you for this. . . It's really nice actually. Thank you."

Guzma turns his attention away. Your kind words can't stop him from blushing harder. Some would tease him for this. This place apparently isn't the only thing that makes Guzma feel comfortable. Guzma only pats your head in return as the two of you watch light of the sun fade into the deep blue in the distance as the moon rises to take it's place as the watcher of the night.

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[malereadermaniac]

The Bosses Bitch - Guzma x Male Reader

Team skull never question their boss, but they hate the fact that the whole of Po town can't sleep because of the sounds coming from Guzma's shady house... Cw: Rimming, fingering, excessive spit play, sweat and musk word count: 1.7k Top!Guzma x Bottom!Reader Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI

"You fuckin' love the way my grunts look at you don't you?" Guzma says with a sick grin as he bends down slightly to look you in the eye

"Oh yeah? How's that?" You ask, confidence evident on your face

"Haha! You parade around, clinging to me while wearing practically nothing! You love how my goons practically drool when we walk past. And that stunt you pulled over in my office... Fuck it was so hot!"

He's referring to you sitting on his lap, dry humping him as youbbeg for him to alleviate your boredom by fucking you

The action itself turned him on, but he couldn't hide the fact that all his grunts watching you behave like a whore turned him on

"But now..." Guzma starts taking off his shirt, revealing his toned, built body

"Now I can have my way with you, my pretty boy" Guzma uses a mocking tone as he places his rough hand on your cheek, rubbing your face with his thumb

He pushes you onto the bed, not with much force since you're a very compliant lover

He loves that about you, you're willing to do whatever he wants

You rest on your elbows as you look up at your boyfriend in all of his glory, his cargoes now stripped off, only his black and gold Team Skull boxer briefs left

Fuck your boyfriend was so hot, his arms were muscular enough to hold you up with one arm

His pecs and abs glisten with a slight sheen of sweat, pecs huge and abs flexing as your eyes wander over them

His golden "S" chain catching your eye as he kept it on

His legs were muscular as well, thighs huge enough to crush your head and his bulge was fucking enormous

Practically ripping his boxers at the seem as he got hard, and his bushy white pubes overflowing from his waistband looked so fucking hot

Guzma knew exactly what turned you on, so he flexed his muscles and let you ogle your eyes in awe from his body, flexing his arms in the stereotypical jock way, showing off not only his muscles but his hairy armpits too

Your boyfriend was like a Greek God, so masculine and dominant and hot...

"I've let you have your fill... now strip bitch." Guzma ordered with a maniacal laugh

You listened to your boyfriend and stripped almost entirely except for you underwear

Guzma moves on top of you, his sweaty, warm, musky body hovering over you as his hands held him up either side of your head

"Fuck you're so pretty..." Guzma mumbles, moving his rough hand to your chin and moving your head up, bringing his lips down to yours

The way he kisses you is always so passionate and hot

Guzma's tongue controls and moves yours as he explores your mouth

Your lips are sealed together except for when you pant against your boyfriend's lips to get some air

Moans fill the room as you moan against his lips, Guzma breaking the kiss to move down your body as cover your neck and chest in hickey's and bites, going over fading marks from days prior

"Fuck you're so hot..." Guzma says as he sits up, his sharp, wet tongue hanging out of his mouth as he looks down at you, his spit drooling down onto your body

Almost immediately, Guzma's huge arms wrap around you and flip you onto your stomach, maneuvering your ass to perk up and face him

You hug onto a pillow as Guzma slides your underwear off of your plump ass slowly, biting his lip at the view

He kneads your cheeks as he palms his boner through his boxers

"You're hole is so tight I can't even tell we fucked this morning, HAHA!" Guzma laughs a sick and horny laugh as he stops palming himself and spreads your ass to show your tight entrance

You can't even get a word in before moans erupt from your mouth as you feel a warm wetness on your hole

You can feel Guzma's grip on your ass tighten as your writhe from his tongue

You moan into the pillow as his wet muscle pushes against your hole and even manages to push inside slightly

Loud slurping and wet squelches echo within the bedroom

The lewd and erotic sounds make you blush as your boyfriend devours your hole, his nose brushing against your hole as he catches his breath, his lewd panting turning you on

"Ha... Fuck (y/n) you're hole is too good... Pretty just like you.." he teases you as he pushes his finger inside of you

"Ha! Fuuuuuck... Guzma right there..." you moan as your legs give in

But Guzma knows you too well and catches you, holding you up with his other strong, manly hand

He attacks your prostate and wanks your dick off as if he were milking a cow

"Hngff! Guzmaaa..." you whine and moan as the grey haired man shoves another finger inside your ass, curling his fingers to spread your tight hole

As you keep moaning and wiggling your ass infront of Guzma, your boyfriend palms his dick which is in great need of attention

You're too hot for him sometimes and he can't help himself

So he pulls his fingers out of you and wraps his huge hands around your waist, flipping you over again and manhandling you as he puts one of your legs on his shoulder and bends over you

His skull gold chain dangles above you as he positions his fat, veiny cock to your hole

"You ready, pretty boy?" Guzma asks with a grin, his pearly white teeth showing

"Fuck yeah..." you smile and moan breathily

That turns Guzma on so much, so with a maniacal laugh he plunges his cock all the way into your ass as he silences you with a kiss

You moan loudly into his mouth as he relishes in the pleasure of your ass clenching around his thick dick

Guzma breaks the kiss and sits up, gripping onto your leg and looking and you with with crazy, horny eyes

"I fuckin love you and your ass, my pretty little bitch" Guzma growls

You blush at his words

"Unhhh go on then, show me how much you love me" you moan, putting your hands above your head, showing off your body to your boyfriend

Guzma spares no time, gripping your leg tighter and starting to pound your ass like an animal

You moan desperately and loudly, your dick twitching and your back arching as Guzma plows your ass and hitting your prostate over and over, having memorised your body from the sheer amount of times he's fucked you

Wet squelches and slaps come from Guzma smashing his hips against yours, your moans becoming louder and lewder by the second

"Fuck that's right! Moan so fuckin loud the whole of Po town hears you, fuckin slut!" Guzma shouts, looking into your eyes with lust and love

So you obey his command, you moan so loud that even the pokemon centre probably heard you

Guzma loved it, he'd never share you but he liked to show you off and flex how good he made you feel

At least half an hour had passed by, your hole clenching on your boyfriend's cock as he pounds you harshly, your ass memorising his size by now

Guzma moves your leg down from his shoulder as he groans and moans your name more

He bends back down over you, his gold skull chain dangling above you as his hot breath tickles your nose

His musky, hairy armpits shoe off above you as well as his crazy grin as he watches you moan like crazy

He moves his head lower to kiss you deeply again, you moan and whine into his mouth as his tongue controls and dances with yours

His dick murdering your prostate to such an extent that your hands dart to Guzma's back to ground yourself

You scratch his back like in a porno, making Guzma break the kiss and groan above you as his dick twitches inside you

"FUCK (Y/N)! Gonna make me fuckin cum- hngg- HAHAA!" Guzma moans, grabing your chin, spreading your mouth open

He spits into your mouth and moves down to make out with you again

Your dick twitches like mad

Your about to cum as well

Guzma breaks the kiss and looks at you, his wet tongue dangling out of his mouth, a string of his spit still liking his tongue to yours

"HAHA FUCKKKK! CUMIN! CUMIN! GONNA MAKE YOU LOOK FUCKIN PREGNANT, FILL YOU WITH MY CUM FUCK!! HAHHHH!" Guzma moans loudly, probably making every grunt in his shady house jealous and annoyed at the same time

Your legs twitch and your toes curl up in pleasure, your thighs shaking as your orgasm hits you like a fucking truck

"Haaaa Fuck (y/n)!! FUCK YEAH!" Guzma moans above you, hit thrusts getting longer and harder

You can feel his cum gush out of his cock and into your ass, your walls coated in his hot cum

You both catch your breaths as your cum coats Guzma's abs more than your own

"Fuck I love you so much..." Guzma says bresthily

"I love you too, bug boy~" you tease him with the nickname you gave him in your childhood

He kisses you again, this time devoid of lust but full of love and passion, as he removes his softening dick from your hole

A loud squelch echoed throughout the room as he watches his cum glazed cock twitch and your cum leaking hole tighten and loosen around nothing

"I'd say lets go for another round... but I think my grunts would storm in if haha!" Guzma jokes

"Yeah, let's just clean up and go to bed, babe" you chuckle

And so you two did just that

Guzma and you shared a bath and cleaned eachother off

That is until he got to cleaning his cum out of you, and you got turned on... and so did he...

So Guzma ended up fingering you until you came again

Which made Guzma hard again...

So you sucked him off in the bathtub and then you two were fully drained for the night

So you both got into bed naked and Guzma spooned you until the both of you fell asleep

The grunts were not happy with you two the next morning...

[10hourshift]

Nightmares x team skull bc the thought wouldn't leave my head

Each character comes with a trainer encounter sprite and a losing sprite + 3 pokemon each bc I'm too lazy to give them full teams

Rambles ↓

These come from me wanting to make a Deuz x Guzma bc i thought it would be cool (+ the whole fnafhs pokemon that I wanted to do for a while) and then I decided to make the other 3 bc yeah.

Maggie and Onnie are the male and female basic grunts and Oxy is Plumeria bc it was the one character left (and I think it was better to have the female grunt AND Plumeria than two male grunts. Idk)

Pokemon explanation (bc it was the part that took the most time x.x)

Each one of them uses a specific Pokemon type, and also they all use poison type as a token of them being a team.

Deuz (bug type bc Guzma is bug type):

Scolipede: the poison token. Also it gives that strong and intimidating aura to Deuz, probs his first pokemon to battle with.

Scizor: also bug type. Idk.

Leavanny: this one is inspired by my own head cannons where Deuz has an interest in fashion design. (This pkmn makes clothes with leaves) Also, the pokemon only evolves into this stage when it has high friendship. This one would be Deuz's partner.

Oxy (dark type bc yeah):

Toxtricity (low key form): token poison type. Matching with Onnie

Scrafty: mainly the aesthetics of the pkmn but also the fact that these pkmn are aggressive to strangers but really protective of the ones they care about

Obstagoon: looks cool as fuck. Probs Oxy's ace

Maggie (fighting type bc there's one frame of her training box or whatever and I'm holding onto that for her entire personality):

Toxicroak: token poison type (bonus bc it's fighting/poison)

Stufful: it's CUTE. also she probs gave it an eternal stone bc she doesn't want it to evolve.

Lucario: it's one of those cool pkmn that show off how good of a trainer you are so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. This one would be her ace.

Onnie (electric and poison type bc i struggled to give him one specifically):

Toxtricity (amped form): token poison type and matching with Oxy. This would probably be his ace.

Blitzle: I like the electric zebra what can I say.

Varoom: also related to one of my head cannons, where Onnie has an interest in cars (and car repairs and mods and all that). Caught it bc he wants to make something similar to them starmobiles from SaV.

[bluetheboykisser]

Can we, as a collective pokemon fandom, return to this ship please??

[stinkylittleanon]

Can I request Guzman with a stoic s/o? (Preferably male) Guzman already looks menacing and behind him is his tall Boyfriend who looks even scarier. S/o also loves bug type pokemon :)

Its doesn't have to be a full story just silly little head canons or scenarios.

YES!!! YES I CAN DO THIS!!! Kicking my feetsies bc this is (from what I remember) my first male reader request >:))))

Guzma w/ Stoic Male S/O!

First of all, no one has ANY clue how you two got together, it was like- A miracle!

At first, Guzma didn't like you very much. Something about your stoic behavior pissed him off and just made him assume you were like all those other people who thought they were better than everyone else

But actually, something ended up changing that. Something that's only between the two of you.

One day, Guzma stumbled upon you on one of the more hidden beaches. You were on a rock, sitting casually with... Wimpod??

Why were they not running from you? And how did you have so many around you?

"What is he doing..."

Guzma muttered to himself, squinting at you. You seemed to have a wimpod on your lap, and somethin' was goin' on...

So he made his way over, hands stuffed in his pockets. His presence, of course, scared off the small pokemon that surrounded you. Yet you still didn't look up.

"What're ya doin', jackass?"

Erm... He doesn't have the most family-friendly language, but anyways!

The wimpod on your lap started to freak out now that someone else was here, but you were quick to hold onto it.

Guzma couldn't help the way his heart stopped (in a positive way) as you quietly shushed the Wimpod and comforted it...

"Shhh..." It was a simple noise that calmed the creature down as you stroked its back, holding it close to you.

"It's injured." Was all you said once the Wimpod was calmed.

Since that day, he didn't really see you the same. And slowly but surely, he started letting you hang around his town, y'know?

When Guzma was teased about it by some Grunts, he was just

"Psh! As if I would warm up to that guy!"

And then suddenly you guys just?? Kissed?? In front of everyone

Well more like you casually walked up to Guzma, gave him a big ol' smooch, and acted like nothing happened

That's basically how everyone found out you two got together

And when you join Team Skull?!?!

Guzma can't see enough of his boyfriend in the uniform- He's fuckin' awooga mode when he sees you try it on for the first time

Immediately you're an admin, and he knows he can trust you

You're around him more than Plumeria is, and that's sayin' somethin'

You guys are literally like- Scary dog privileges for each other

If someone isn't intimidated by one of you, then they're intimidated by the other

You tend to walk behind Guzma, and I imagine Guzma to be a good 5'9-6'0, so you're... You're very tall

Tall boyfriend x Medium boyfriend

ALSO BUG TYPE BOYFRIENDS BUG TYPE BOYFRIENDS

Rest your elbow on Guzma's head

It'll get him pissed, yeah, but he's still flustered

Something about seeing someone taller than him,,,, :flushed:

You always manage to get Guzma worked up, whether he's flustered or angered (in a lighthearted way), and then just stare at him with that damn expression

He knows you're doing it on purpose!! STop that!! Actually don't

Sometimes he'll catch you off guard though

A good ol' smack on the ass (only if you're comfortable with it) is somethin' he'll do sometimes (again, only consensual)

Or when he's frustrated enough, he'll grab your shirt and force you down to his height

The first time he did this... You almost fell over, but it got the both of you flustered because your faces got really close

Behind closed doors, though, he's like a puppy looking for affection

And seeing your expression soften when you two are alone... <3333

He's fuckin' in love with you, and he's always reminded when he's alone with you

PDA isn't something Guzma is too big on, he'll wrap an arm around your waist but only if you're comfy

Your stoic nature still frustrates him sometimes, but that's him getting over some o' that good ol' trauma

Also sometimes, when Guzma will tell you (not ask, tell you-) to kiss him

You'll go "No." without any fuckin' emotion

But at the same time you're leaning down and givin' him a kiss

Bonus:

Things Guzma will say about you/to you

"That's my man!"

"He needs to get that stick out o' his ass!" (And then he goes on about how hot you are)

"Goddamn- Fuckin- Hot bastard son o' a bitch- Fuck you!"

[skullkxd]

motion, day

motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?

Ree still struggles a bit with standing for long periods of time and moving in difficult terrain, so they’re very stilted when they do walk. They keep their cane on hand at all times, and tend to favor one leg over the other. Ree specifically asked for shoes with good ankle support for Christmas from Falkner, so they wear those pretty much every day to help them a little bit.

day: What does your OC wear on a normal day? Why do they default to those clothes? Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up?

Ree tends to wear their skull uniform more than anything else — a crop top with the shoulders cut off, the X-symbol crossing their body, the standard issue skull grunt male pants, and their red and white shoes that support their ankles. They also wear the “Boss Jacket” — the jacket Guzma gave them for their birthday — as a standard part of their everyday wear.

when they aren’t wearing that, they’re usually wearing the hand me down clothes that Red gave to them during the PWT. Usually they don’t wear their skull beanie or Red’s hat, because they find trying to get their hair to cooperate underneath to be a pain.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Can I request Guzma with a stoic CisMale S/O with a Centiskortch? I love your stuff and your writing style :)

Guzma x male reader

Hope your okay with me making the reader a team, I just really like making them ^^

I made reader a fire and bug type user :) He’s also at least the same height and build as Guzma or bigger, cuz I think the reader hovering over his shoulder is cool.

Heres the team I made, I used a card maker and just inserted a character as a placeholder ^^

It was raining across Po town as always, the water pelting down across the rooftop of the large mansion Team Skull used as a base. It had been extra gloomy that day, and everyone on the team seemed in a lower mood than usual. None of the teams’ plans had gone as planned, many grunts had been beaten in battle and some had even had to flee as their families came for them.

It was no secret that a lot of team skulls members were people who weren’t accepted by their families, outsiders, the black mareep of the family. The same thing could be said about Team Skulls boss Guzma, the outsider of outsiders of his generation.

He sat upon his throne, chin his hand as Golisopod wandered out the room, chittering and making other bug like noises as it wandered around. Vikavolt and Masquerain were sitting on the bedframe of the large bed in the room, making noises at one another as they spoke.

Bug pokemon were the one thing that had helped a young lonesome Guzma many years ago, back when everyone avoided him and his fathers expectations became too heavy. After meeting Wimpod Guzma was still as much of an outsider as ever, but at least he had a friend. He was still bullied and looked down upon, but when Golisopod finally evolved, the bullies didn’t dare come near him as long as the large armored pokemon watched over him.

Guzma had accepted he would be alone forever, or as long as he was stuck on Alola. But then he had met Plumeria and a couple of the first grunts that would later make up Team Skull. They had all not fit into what society wanted them to be, and they found a friendship with one another.

They were stilled targeted by less than kind people, but they always stuck together as best as they could so no one was left alone. This was when Guzma met who would later become his boyfriend. One of the grunts had been alone, a bug using grunt on top of that. Their Cutiefly had posed by challenge to the bullies pokemon.

As the bullies had started to close in on the grunt, a loud hissed noise was heard before a long glowing body dragged itself between the bullies and their target. The large body twisted, and flames blasted from its face as it turned its angered eyes on the bullies. It hissed again as the bullies stood frozen, and it only seemed to somewhat relax as its owner approached.

The bullies turned as the pokemon they had never seemed hissed in the new persons direction, though this sound was much less threatening. There stood a tall man, with a calm or almost bored expression, his eyes tracking over the situation. The Grunt on the floor with a face wet from tears, being protected by his Centiskortch who had jumped from its pokeball, and the group of bullies.

(Y/N)s eyes turned cold as he stared down at the bullies, a displeased tone in his voice as he demanded an answer to what they thought they were doing. The bullies tried to come up with an excuse, and when that didn’t seem to have any effect on the man, they tried to explain how the grunt deserved to be bullied, and how pathetic the grunt was for using bug types.

The man had no facial reaction as he stepped in front of the grunt as he pulled a quickball from his belt, tossing it into the air and releasing a pokemon. It was clear it was a bug type, the new pokemon placing itself between the man and the bullies, releasing growls and chitters at them and their pokemon.  Centiskortch had quickly pushed itself to the front as well, its flames large and enraged.

The bullies didn’t back down though, their pride too powerful as they made their pokemon attack. That was when Guzma and Plumeria arrived, their eyes wide as they watched the man’s two pokemon completely wipe the floor with the bullies teams. The bullies had cursed him out when they lost, but the stoic expression on his face and in his voice had them running away.

(Y/N) had turned and crouched down to the grunt and helped them to their feet, he also offered to heal their pokemon for them. The two fire-bug types had stayed outside of their pokeballs, both ready if the bullies should return. That’s when the two leaders of Team Skull stepped in, and one thing led to another and (Y/N) decided to join the team, at least somewhat.

Guzma learned that the man was a traveler, had had traveled across many countries, had met and battled many people, and that Alola was his last stop. They had bonded over their love for bug types, and Guzma had been so excited to meet pokemon from outside of Alola. The leader of Team Skull hadn’t planned on developing feelings but it just happened, and one thing led to another and he ended up confessing on accident, and right when he was scared (Y/N) was gonna reject him, the usually stoic man had smiled a very tiny and careful smile as he confessed he felt the same way.

As if summoned by the thoughts, (Y/N) stepped in through the doors of Guzmas room, his Scizor following close behind him, his Alolan Marowak not far behind, both carrying large sacks with them. (Y/N) was carrying another large sack over his shoulder as well. He stopped in front of Guzma, his expression as stoic as always, but there was a faint glint in his eyes that meant he was excited about something.

“Whats up babe?” Guzma asked, still leaning on his hand, trying to ignore Vikavolt who had flown over to his chair and was nudging against his hand for pets. That’s when the tiny barely noticeable smile pulled onto (Y/N)s lips and he plopped the sack down at his feet, the fabric pulling open and z-crystals pouring out. Bug z-crystals.

Guzmas jaw dropped as the two pokemon following the man dropped their sacks as well, exposing even more crystals. It had to be all the crystals on the island there were so many, the Team Skull boss didn’t know how to react as his felt a grin grow on his face. Of course his handsome and strong boyfriend would be able to do something like this, why was he even surprised.

Guzma chuckled softly as he got to his feet, stepping over the many crystals as he leant in a kissed (Y/N), the other mans hands coming up to rest on Guzmas hips as he pulled him closer. They both ignored the sound of (Y/N)s pokeballs snapping open and releasing all his pokemon, the room becoming slightly cramped at all the pokemon in it alongside the two men.

That’s when they felt something coil around their bodies, the warm length of the body and the hissy noises it made as if laughing immediately let them know it was (Y/N)s first pokemon and trusted friend, Centiskortch. The bug-fire pokemon seemed to snicker at them as Guzma squaked at the action, but (Y/N) just rolled his eyes and leant down to kiss Guzma again.

Centiskortch got itself into a comfortable position around its trainer and its trainer’s partner, holding the two humans close as the pokemon decided to take a short nap. Guzma rested his head against (Y/N)s shoulder and released a sigh he didn’t know he was holding, maybe it wasn’t so bad as long as the stoic man was with him, he was sure tomorrow would be better.

[dexerious]

Some gay shit

[liighty]

Guzma babysitting Reader’s Niece

(A/N): BACK ON MY BULLSHIT AGAIN! BUT THIS TIME IT’S NOT ALL THAT SELF-INDULGENT AND MIGHT POSSIBLY BE TURNED INTO A SUPER FIC IF I FEEL LIKE IT

In all honesty i’ve thought about making another largeass super self-indulgent Guzma x Reader mega fic, but I’m not sure if I want to? I don’t know if anybody would read it, so that’s what this post is for!!! If you like this and want to see actual Guzma x Reader with plot and not just fluff drabbles lmk!! I have a bunch of asks to address so maybe i’ll get to that too soon

Anyways, back to the fic.

Mini Summary: (Y/N)’s niece needs to be babysat while (Y/N) is interviewed, so they turn to Guzma and crew to help out for a bit. Chaos ensues.

Rating/Triggers: UH drugs are mentioned but not really? THE KID DOES NOT DO DRUGS!!!! but yeah if that makes you uncomfy i’d be careful with it??\

Pairing: Guzma/Gender Neutral!Reader (I used the honorific ‘Titi’ which is gender neutral for ‘Tia’ or ‘Tio’ [extra thanks to Ocha_Bocha for helping me with that one <3] and tried to make it as gender neutral as possible. Originally this was written with a male reader, and then I went female, and ultimately attempted to eliminate gender completely. [Following the footsteps of Splatoon teehee])

Fic under cut!!!!!

"Are you sure this is a good idea, honey?" You clutch your niece's hand as you approach the large walls that separate Po Town from the rest of Ula'Ula Island. It's not that you don't trust the man who you're leaving her with- in fact, those two have been acquainted previously and seem to get along fairly well- It's his friends who you're concerned about.

"..." Her silence is expected, as the kid isn't all that talkative. Recognizing the young girl's silence, you frown. 

"You can stay in the office lounge if you really want to. I know you aren't the biggest fan of crowds, and um- Guz has some pretty loud friends-" Your explanation of what to be expected is quickly interrupted by a blue haired young man decked in black and white clothing. "Yo yo, what's with the kid?!" 

You arch a brow. You knew that Guzma worked with kids, but this guy couldn't be any older than 15! "I could say the same for you. I'm here to talk to Guzma-"

"Ya mean the boss? Why would some random chick want anything ta do with the leader of the Team Skull, huh?!"

A pink haired girl dressed in the same outfit walks up to the boy, crossing her arms. "Shut it, ya clod. Don't you remember the conversation we had with Boss yesterday?"

Hearing this, the blue haired boy's eyes light up in an epiphany. "Ohhhhh shit- Right-"

"Watch yer fuckin' language around the kiddo." She lightly smacks the back of Dansei's head. "She's in good hands, ma'am."

Another pink haired woman, this one being someone you finally recognize, walks in and smacks both of the delinquents in the head once more. "You say that after cussing, Reese?" 

Thank God. Plumeria. "Hey Plumes-" You smile weakly, waving politely with your free hand. Your niece does the same. Another young man, this one much shorter than the first and with green curly hair scrambles after Plumeria, jumping up and down to be seen. "Sorry about these numskulls. I'll lead y'all to the big boss man, yo. No worries at all, so you can chillax!"

I'm regretting this more and more by the second.

The crew starts whistling some hip hop tune as they make their way to the Shady House, the smaller boy beatboxing. You've taken this time to offer a piggyback ride to your niece, who's politely declined. Are all kids like this? Or is it just her?

Once they approach the boss, Guzma immediately jumps out of his chair, his signature shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "Eyyyyyy! (Y/N)!!! Kiddo!! What's up, homeslice?!" He hops down the stairs and crouches so he can get at eye-level with the young girl, offering his fist for a pound-it.

She bumps her fist against his, smiling just a bit. It's more of a reaction than you expected, at least. "S-sup, Uncle Guzma-" 

Looks like his slang is rubbing off on her. That's cute.

"Thanks for droppin' by, Doll. No need to worry about Little Miss Troublemaker over here, I got it all under control." He picks up your niece and walks over to you, pressing a looooooooongass smooch on your cheek. The other Team Skull members all make mini comments, like "Ewwww-", "Grosss-", and "Cooties-", causing Plumeria to once again smack their heads together. 

You roll your eyes, unable to stop the smirk on your face from growing any further. "Not in front of the kids, Guz." "Ah, right, right- My bad." His shades slide onto his face, hiding the bright red blush that had crept onto his cheeks. "Well, you should probably get goin', ey? The Aether Foundation's one lucky company to have you interviewin' for a position."

"Dork." You boop his nose, then your niece's. "Call me if you need me, okay honey? I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Okay, Titi (Y/N)-" You smile at the nickname while the others snicker. 'Titi' sounds an awful lot like 'Tittie', and considering three of the 7 people in the room are immature teenagers, there's definitely some laughing going on in the background. Plumeria looks very tired. How does she deal with these kids all the time?

"Alright, I'll be back. Don't light anything on fire, okay?" You yell as you walk off, feeling a slight hint of unease at the idea of leaving your young niece with so many delinquents, even if it's just for a few hours. It'll be fine, though. Guzma's there to keep them from doing anything stupid.

You laugh at the thought. Who am I kidding? He's probably gonna be the one who explodes something first.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The interview itself wasn't all that bad. You're fairly certain that you either aced it or put yourself up for consideration, which in itself helped your confidence just a bit. With the absence of Lusamine and the arrest of several of her chairmen, the foundation was very antsy and in need of someone who could handle the Pokemon Observation department. With your background in medicine and PR, you were rationally on the list of potential replacements, and despite your initial resistance, learning that the company would be run by somebody that WASN'T the manipulative little bitch Lusamine gave you enough comfort to accept the offer for the interview. Was it just an offer or an invitation? You weren't quite sure, but Wick was very insistent on you showing up.

Either way, you're pretty certain you got the job. Good on you. 

You can't help but wonder how your niece is doing, surrounded by so many troublemakers. As you make your way to the entrance of the Shady House, you can hear loud music, causing you to feel a small tint of anxiety. She'll be fine.

You walk up to the door and creak it open, the smell of burnt… whatever the fuck that is flooding your nostrils. Of course. They lit something on fire.

"Guz??" You call out to the empty room. "Plumes? Anybody home?" As expected, there's no response. You start to feel more and more anxious the more ground you start to cover. Where are they? Peeking your head around the corridor, your anxiety comes to its peak when-

"And that's why you should never do drugs, aight?"

H-Huh?

Your niece sits on Guzma's knee as he bounces it up and down, his signature shit-eating grin plastered on his face like usual. Awfully burnt cookies sit on the table, explaining the smell from earlier, and Plumeria seems to be asleep with the other team skull grunts. Are they… napping? Seems like it. 

She nods enthusiastically, taking a bite of a charred cookie and grimacing shortly after, causing the two to both laugh in unison.

"Doesn't matter if it's just for recreational purposes, you could still get hooked, and that's the last thing we want!" Grinning once again, Guzma pokes her forehead.

Hypocrite. You're reminded of the first time you two had kissed, which happened to be shortly after you both had blazed a couple of joints. It's enough to get you laughing, though.

"Huh?! What're you doing here so early? Don't tell me ya flunked THAT bad!" Guzma's eyes widen, a genuine look of bewilderment painted on his face.

"I did not flunk! I think I did great!" You huff, crossing your arms defiantly. "It's suuuuuuuper comforting that you thought I failed, Guz."

"Nononono I was joking!! Right, kiddo??" Your niece quickly nods. "See???? No harm, no foul!"

Arching a brow, you walk up to the two and pick up the young girl. "Mhmmm. Did you have fun, honey?"

She nods again, unable to contain the grin on her face. "Uncle Guzma told me about his Pokemon training! And I got to ride on Golisopod's back!" 

The large bug type pokemon bops up and down upon hearing its name, prompting a smirk from Guzma. "Yeah, I told ya I'd take care of her. She's welcome back anytime, okay?"

"Thanks, Guz." You peck his cheek, and your niece sticks her tongue out, closing her eyes. 

"Icky cooties!!" Where the hell did she hear that? The only people you can think of who'd say such a thing are in the other room snoozing, so- Yeah, actually, you know exactly who taught her that word.

"Well, I'm gonna getchu with my cooties! And my tickles!" You raise a hand menacingly, wiggling your fingers with one eye closed. She immediately curls up, not out of fear, but out of excitement. It's nice to see her so happy again.

After a very long tickle session, you quickly glance at the large grandfather clock, noting the short hand of the clock slowly approaching the number 8. Shit. "We gotta go, kiddo. Your dad isn't gonna be all that happy if we get home any later than 8:30. Besides, it's past your bedtime."

"I bet Uncle Guzma stays up past his bedtime-" She yawns. "Can we stay for a little longer?"

How can I say no to that face? You find yourself incredibly conflicted. Do you tell her you have to leave anyways? Or do you stay and risk getting in trouble by your brother-in-law?

"Eh, as much as I'd love to have you over for longer, kiddo- Look at your Titi (Y/N). They look exhausted."

You smile gratefully at the comment, glad that it doesn't have to be you to tell your niece to go home. "Yeah, I'm beat. We can hang out some other time, okay? I promise." You pat her head and get ready to leave.

"Aww… okay. Bye, Uncle Guzma!! Bye Golisopod!" She holds your hand, and the two of you eventually walk your way back to the car. As you drive away, one thing lingers in your head. You can't think of anything else, in all honesty.

Guzma's great with kids. I should've expected as much, but… I'm glad he gets along with my family.

Your stomach rumbles at the intersection. I'd kill for some malasadas right about now- 

Okay, maybe you CAN think of something else.

[clawshawt]

Since my last post was well received I decided I’ll post the rest of my sketchbook doodles of these cuties. Thank you guys so much for the positive feedback, ya’ll the best~<3 

[monotonedongs]

Thinking about big bad Guzma...

[big-bad-skull-boss]

some unprovoked Guzma x Male s/o Headcanons

After realising how much Guzma’s joints crack, you start having joint cracking competitions. You wake up every morning and whoever has the least satisfying crack makes the other a Tapu Cocoa

Guzma teaches you how to crack your knuckles in the most intimidating way - you eventually get so good at it that it turns him on most of the time and you do it in public to control him AND intimidate others at the same time. It’s a win-win, really.

You do a Skull Grunt wellbeing class alongside Guzma with the guys while Plumeria and her s/o (if she has one at the time) do it for the girls. - Innocent stuff, like dealing with crushes or getting the best gift or preparing a great dinner date (the latter is one that you do mostly on your own since Guzma can’t cook for shit.)

In the cooking lessons, you explain everything while shooting a shit-eating smirk at Guzma after every step. You also out his awful eating and cooking habits which the grunts already had an idea about, but you know so much better since you’re around him most of the time.

Guzma showed you up once by grabbing your ass during a meeting where you were standing next to him in front of literally ALL of the grunts. Now you do it back since you’re at a similar height and you weaponize it, even though you both enjoy it, its become an unspoken competition between you to see who can get an ass grab in at the best worst time

[gems-of-lirema]

2 8 and 15!

Questions Often Left Unanswered: Mun Edition (Currently Accepting)

//Warning: Salty opinions ahead, mainly about Guzma! Read at your own discretion!

[No. 2: Are there any plot tropes you are sick of/refuse to RP? If so, what are they and why?]bleeeeeuuurgjuh do I really have to RP ya boi as the abusive type? You can bash him, trash him, throw him to the floor, crush his ego and toss it into a conveyor belt only to be inevitably incinerated and torn to shreds, and ya know what? He won’t care. He won’t kick or scream. He won’t come back 3 days later, kick your ass for the next 3 weeks and be all: “Hey? That thing you said to me the other day? Don’t do that shit again.” He’s just not the type to harass someone, verbally, emotionally, or physically. Why? Because you’re only feeding his self-hate, not his hatred for you. Perhaps it’s just me, but I’m actually sick of seeing big bad Guzma as, well...big bad. After all, if he truly was the abusive asshole that some fans fetishize really wanna see…

Then why is he one of, if not the only redeemable character in the game?

[No. 8: Out of the really popular pairings in your fandom, what’s your nOTP?]Besides Honorshipping and Guzma x Kukui? I’m not sure why AZ x Sycamore or AZ x the protagonists had to be a thing, but here we are c’: also, I’ll admit, I ain’t a FerrisWheel shipper either, or whatever the equivalent is for N x the male protagonist. (SteveN is the rare ship that will break me. Actually, whose to say it hasn’t already done so? c’: )

[No. 15: Without naming anyone, have you ever refused/simply avoided another RPer in the fandom because of things you’ve heard others say about them, or because of their popularity? If so, why did you feel the need to?]Hm...I have, actually. Truth be told, I don’t remember their names (except one) nor do I remember what my RP partner said about them...but I do know they’re all Guzma muses. Which is kinda ironic I guess, since that’s the muse who got the RP ball rollin’ for me. Obviously, I don’t avoid every Guzma mun I see, but if one of my RP partners had a bad experience with the Team Skull fanbase, then hey, I’ll take their word for it (even though they’ll tell me not to c’:) Truth be told, I’m not sure why. Perhaps it’s because some Guzma muses seem too obnoxious to me, what with the bad boy themes and scars/tattoos splattered all over the place (I see ya boi as more of a somewhat redeemable character than an actual thug...as mentioned above) I did block a popular Skull Grunt OC once for the same reason...until I realized the RP partner who hated that mun was a jerk to my friend so I unblocked said Grunt OC.

The Team Skull fanbase is a dangerous one, folks. Enter at your own risk.

[coffeecryptid-york]

Permission to upload given by my friend who drew these. We love this ship so much despite it's rareness. We voted for Ya boi and his boi as a possible ship tag.

[poke-reads]

Children of Guzma x Moon?

Sure thing! I dub them with 3 kids! Starting from oldest to youngest (last two are twins!)

Name: Genevieve Nickname: Genny (Moon chose this name)

Gender: Female

Physical resemblance:

– A unique beauty! White eyes like Guzma, Moons eye shape and skin color, and unique salt and pepper hair!

Personality resemblance:

– Oh God, just like Guzma. Mischievous, temper tantrum prone, but a good thing is she is a prodigy like he is.

Who does she like more:– She loves both equally, but is like a baby duckling following Moon around. Cherished by Guzma always!

What does she like to do/ what does she like to play:

– She loves to play with Moon’s pokemon, and eventually learned to love Golisopod! She loves to loot with the grunts :) usually on her Dad’s Tapu Cocoa hoard!

Name: Bromley (Guzma and Moon decided)

Gender: Male

Physical resemblance:

– He’s unique too, slight specks of white in his hair, mostly black like Moon’s, Guzma’s pasty complexion and one eye white and one eye black!

Personality resemblance:

– He is very reserved, but is a happy child. Mix of moon’s positivity and Guzma’s timidity and reserves.

Who does he like more:

– A huge Mommas boy, He’s crying off to mom if Genny does something. Guzma tries to toughen up his kid by taking him with him to train or to hunt for bug pokemon.What does he like to do/play: He loves to explore. Also, play around with Golisopod, HE ADORES GOLISOPOD. He says he wants a strong one just like his dad, Guzma said when he's old enough he'll take him to go get one!

Name: Leilani (Guzma’s Choice)

Gender: Female

Physical resemblance:

– Mostly Moon’s features, Jett black eyes, Moon’s skin color, white eyes like Guzma and small noticeable streaks of silver in her bangs.

Personality resemblance:

– Mostly moon, Happy to live, love pokemon, and play! She always says “Imma be champ like mama one day!”

Who does she like more:

– Mommas little clone, she doesn’t hate Guzma, in fact she’s Guzma’s little princess! His cutiefly!

What does she like to do/play:

– She loves to interact with pokemon! She sits there quietly and draws them to show her parents. Sometimes she sings for her parents pokemon or any wild pokemon out there. She attracts them, such a sweet heart!

For all 3What does the family photo/ christmas card look like:

– Oh God lol they send funny photos. As much as Moons Mother wants a formal Christmas card, it comes with a roll of funny photos like a messy family making christmas malasadas, or gift opening with a dad who acts like a 5 year old for fun!

– Family Portraits? FAMILY?? That includes the entire Skull Gang! It looks like a royal family in the middle with a huge gang of body guards ready to protect their heirs.

What does a typical family night look like:

– Always out and about. Since Moon is champion, she travels to regions for champ meetings or business champ purposes. She takes her kids so they aren’t lonely and Guzma comes along, he would die to protect his family at all costs. They see the world, and encounter new pokemon for the kids to see. When they arrive home, they bundle up to a movie in the family room surrounded by grunts. Oh and the grunts just love the kids since birth! They play protect and pretend with the kids :)

That was alot! Hope you all liked it :D oh and forgive me! I do the blog on mobile! So sorry if it comes out funny! I’ll fix it!

[magma-paint]

Some Sun and Moon headcanons

Okay, mostly Guzma and Plumeria, but I’m gonna try and cover as many characters as possible. And of course, be advised for NSFW ones.

Professor Kukui is actually a distant cousin of Archie’s. They don’t talk often but when they do, Kukui is confused and disappointed that his cousin started an evil organization hellbent on expanding the ocean, but finds amusement that he’s dating the leader of his rival team, Maxie of Team Magma. But no, really, he’s glad his cousin has sought reform and found a partner he’s happy with. Kukui will still joke with Archie asking when the wedding is.

The closest thing Lillie had to a first Pokémon other than Nebby was a Ducklett named Odette. She let it go to be happy when it became a Swanna. She dearly misses Odette, though, and hopes maybe she’ll see it again.

Hau started watching El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera after finding out that Frida, like him, enjoys delicious sweet fried dough treats (churros for Frida, malasadas for Hau). Now he likes the show for the family dynamics and got Kukui to watch it as well. The two often joke who would win in a match: Kukui as the Masked Royal, White Pantera, El Tigre, or any other character adept at fighting.

Mallow would love to go on Master Chef or Hell’s Kitchen, but she’s a bit terrified of Gordon Ramsay in addition to absolutely admiring him.

Mina is a low-key hippie/stoner. That explains why she looks stoned the majority of the game. Although she’ll only tell her friends about essential oils and other medicinal herbs, especially hemp products that don’t come packaged with the bad psychoactive effects.

Sophocles and Molayne would be great at Cinema Sins. And Gaming Sins.

Gladion is a huge fan of Shadow the Hedgehog and you cannot tell me otherwise. Plumeria and Guzma are jokingly regretting the day they got him that plushie.

When the day comes that Kukui and Burnette announce they’re going to have a baby, Guzma will be the first and probably only one whose mind will go in the gutter, screaming “They had sex!” in his brain so loudly he has to look around to make sure no one can actually hear what’s going down in his mind.

When Guzma dissolved Team Skull, he watched people leave from the balcony of the Shady House. Once he was alone he snapped off his necklace and threw it away, just like how Ralph did in Wreck-It Ralph.

Type: Null (and Silvally to a certain extent) really doesn’t behave like a typical animal but it does have more canine mannerisms than anything. It also loves playing fetch.

Plumeria really does not like to talk about her family at all, having rejected them and making Team Skull her real family. Cliffnotes version is her mom was a raging alcoholic, her dad was a habitual cheater and pathological liar, and her two older sisters had mixed results. Her oldest sister, Chrysanthemum, did go on to become a successful fashion designer and own her own shop, and the other sister, Dahlia, pretty much ended up as high-school dropout, teen mom, freeloading trash with a rap sheet and won’t take any responsibility for her actions. But wait, if Chrysanthemum was the good girl, why doesn’t Plums just stay with her? Well, no matter what, Plumeria was always thrown to the wayside and she decided to look out for herself and eventually ran away from home to find some friends she could call family and treat just like a loving family. That, and Chrysanthemum scoffs at how horrible her family is and turned her nose up at Plumeria after finding out she got involved with Team Skull.

Lusamine has tried sexual advances on Guzma at one point. He wasn’t comfortable at all and post-Ultra Space he doesn’t want anything to do with her. No one knows exactly what happened but Guzma has confirmed she tried to get in his pants.

Lillie is actually a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and relates to Fluttershy the most. Hell, Gladion got her a big plushie for her birthday to make up for not taking her with him away from the Aether Foundation.

Mohn doesn’t reminisce about Lusamine and the kids because it could be likely he suffers from some degree of retrograde amnesia after his studies on the Ultra Wormholes.

Ever wonder what’s going on when no one dares go in the arcade on Royal Avenue or in the Hau’oli Shopping Mall? All of Team Skull is spending their coins on the DDR machine. DDR just seems to be a thing they do a lot and something you gotta be good at if you wanna join.

Also, everyone in Team Skull has their nails painted. Everyone. Female grunts have the pinkies painted hot pink, the other fingers with black, and the Skull X on the thumb, male grunts have the thumbs painted electric blue, the other fingers black, and the Skull X on the pinkie, Gladion has his painted all black but with a red edge like Shadow’s color pattern, Plumeria has her index, middle, and ring fingers painted black, her thumbs fuchsia, and her pinkies yellow, and Guzma’s all black or a special color of polish that accurately represents Dark Eco.

Plumeria will not let Guzma go out with certain Grunts while bored, drunk, or impulsive. The last time it happened he came home with his belly button pierced (he kept it, by the way).

Acerola is a HUGE fan of Homestuck, and Rose and Nepeta are her favorite characters.

Guzma has been found to give Nanu volumes of Garfield comic collections for his birthday. Nanu has also said they’re some of the best gifts he’s ever gotten and he’ll read them with his squad of Meowth and Persian.

Gladion will deliberately show Kill la Kill to Lusamine during one of their video chats while she’s undergoing treatment. Either it’ll cause some self-reflection or she’ll blow it off.

Hau has been known to sing “Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride” while on walks with his Raichu. The result is adorable.

Ilima doesn’t care if people refer to him as a boy or a girl, he even likes to watch people try to figure it out. But he utterly HATES people turning everything into a matter of identity politics.

Wicke’s cup size is a DD at MOST. She really doesn’t get why she’s told not to look up art of herself and even more confused when she DOES look up art of herself.

Calling Plumeria flat-chested will get your ass kicked. She’s between a B and a C cup, and to Guzma that’s fun enough to play with.

Wicke is the aunt of Velma from Scooby Doo. She wants to visit her niece as much as possible and learn about her adventures but working for the Aether Foundation shoots that plan hard in the foot. They keep in touch by mail, though, and Velma has at least one wall of her room she plasters with postcards from Alola.

Faba is low-key gay for Colress, but he’s perfectly content with just hanging out with him or “partaking in gentlemanly endeavors”, as he calls it. He’s too posh for the term “hanging out”.

Yes, Team Skull is considered a family, but Guzma isn’t exactly a Father to His Men. He tries, though, but since he came from a sh1t family it comes across more as the older brother but mostly boss role.

Hala won’t admit he adores the “You’re welcome!” song from Moana. Not even after he’s been caught singing it in public or by himself.

Olivia has heard these jokes about rocks before and she hates them, so stop it: “That’s a leaverite, you leave ‘er right there!” “Oh, that’s an Indian sex rock. You know, another fucking rock.”

Guzma hates wearing jeans or other pants that have a fly on them because the edge of the fly digs into his belly button.

Not an excuse for her behavior, but Lusamine’s obsession with beauty stems from her own mother’s obsession with glamour and beauty. She wanted Lusamine to be as pretty as she could possibly be, and Lusamine is the one who took it too far, where enough screws came loose and she concluded that the only thing capable of achieving God Tier levels of beauty were the Ultra Beasts. Cue insanity after research on the Beasts became her undoing.

On that note, Lusamine is the daughter of Queen Barbee from Panty and Stocking. She took hairstyle tips and fashion advice from Stocking and Weiss Schnee, respectively, growing up, went to college with Gol and Maia Archeon and their insanity rubbed off on her, and took parenting advice from Medusa Gorgon and Ragyo Kiryuin.

Lana was endearingly nicknamed “Ponyo” as a baby. Only her family knows about it, though.

Kiawe has seen quite a number of burns throughout his life. By now he’s practically indifferent to any new ones he sustains and has even kept a record of how many he’s gotten. Currently he has dealt with 209.

Nanu once took an Espurr under his care and Acerola fell in love with it so much he eventually entrusted it to her.

Hala isn’t just Hau’s grandpa, he’s considered to be everyone’s grandpa, because wouldn’t it be cool to have a grandpa who specializes in Fighting Types, is an island kahuna, AND will mentor and help you become one of the best trainers ever? And still give it to you straight what you need to fix?

Plumeria has some of the most miserable periods ever, even on birth control. We’re talking an emotional trainwreck where she’ll either ragequit or cry at the drop of a hat and some of the worst cramps imaginable. When that happens, stay away and let either the Grunts or Guzma take care of it. The Grunts will usually try to make her some herbal tea or even cheer her up with some artwork and a pillow and blanket nest she can curl up in. Guzma makes sure to get back as quickly as he can with dark chocolate, the biggest toy panda he can find, and DVDs of South Park and Panty and Stocking.

It actually takes a lot to get Guzma to cry, but thinking about how Lusamine threw him away in Ultra Space and the fact he’ll never live up to his father’s expectations are the fastest shortcuts.

Wicke has tried to get Lusamine some help in regards to how she treats her children, but it usually got brushed off or denied. To say Wicke was tired of seeing Lillie and Gladion be treated like dolls, toys that could be easily disposed of when interest was gone, is the biggest understatement of the century.

Team Skull used to have rollerskates/rollerblades as part of the uniform. The lack of decent stretches of level ground where they could actually be useful resulted in the retirement of them, but they’ll still rollerblade near Po Town.

Lillie plays piano, and her favorite song to play is Chocolat. She had no idea it was from the Panty and Stocking soundtrack until Gladion pointed it out and then he had to explain the series.

Someday the news will cover what happened with Lusamine, which will bite the Aether Foundation pretty hard in the ass.

Mina has made so much art that Hapu has had to let her rent out a shed on her property to store it all.

Kukui would love to see the moves Precipice Blades, Origin Pulse, and Dragon Ascent in action. Even more so in Primal status. Although Burnette jokes that he wouldn’t be able to survive the intense nerdgasm that would ensue.

Hau doesn’t just have an appetite for malasadas, he also likes orange poached squash. Hell, he could eat a whole pan of it at once if you let him.

Mallow preaches that you don’t put pineapple on pizza. Olivia and Kiawe disagree.

One time Plumeria made better-than-sex cake for dessert, and Guzma half-jokingly and half-seriously said “Challenge accepted” to the namesake.

After becoming champion and their final battle, the player character will INSIST Guzma to stay at their place or Hala’s so he can get back on the road to becoming a great trainer and keep him out of his parent’s house and the toxic environment that created his anger issues. They care about this dork.

Hapu’s Mudsdale is named Big Macintosh and is capable of saying only one human word: “Eeyup.”

Although Nanu is a cat person, he really dislikes people shaming Absol for its tendencies and its infamy. He’ll take one under his wing in a heartbeat if he finds one.

As a little kid, Acerola was TERRIFIED of the movie Coraline. Now it’s one of her absolute favorites and what may have helped her gravitate toward Ghost types.

Plumeria’s Salazzle is kind of a brat. She’ll bite at your ankles if she doesn’t know you or if she doesn’t get what she wants, Grunts have complained of stomach problems caused by drinking from cups they left unattended as she left poison spit in the ones she drank out of, she has burned Guzma at least once when she tried to jump in the bath with him, and on occasions has given her own trainer poisonings, scratches, and burns when Plumeria tried to get her off the bed. But if anything threatens a member of Team Skull, it’ll probably be the last thing they do. She’ll also try to seduce you into giving her your food.

Guzma’s first Pokémon was his Golisopod. He caught it as a Wimpod when he was a kid. Every day he’d go out to the nest to try and lure the bug out with some berries and try to catch it, but usually with no success. One day he went back out there to get his mind off a recent whooping he got but all the times he failed to catch the Wimpod just kind of caved in on him and he sunk down by the hole in the rocks crying. The Wimpod came out, nudged his hand, and crawled in his lap to try and console him. As Guzma left to go home it followed him and since then they’ve been inseparable.

Burnette has partaken in the pet-shaming fad on the internet with Kukui’s Rockruff once. The cheeky little puppy had a sign propped against him that read: “I buried my human’s Z-Ring on the beach at low tide and he couldn’t get it until the tide went out again.”

Cynthia and Grimsley often get into arguments with Steven and Wallace over who’s the better Elite Four/Champion couple.

Red and Blue aren’t dating in the Alola games. It’s more of a “take your frenemy on vacation” outing.

When Lillie and Gladion were younger, they asked Wicke if she could be their new mama. By the end of the day Wicke’s chest was hurting from crying so hard.

Burnette’s team consists of Pokémon she brought from Unova; a Musharna, a Gothorita, and a Beeheem. The outlier is a Comfey she acquired when she and Kukui got married.

Sophocles’ Togedemaru thinks he was destined to be an alarm clock. Every morning at 5 he jumps up on Sophocles’ pillow and starts chittering loudly, quickly hopping as he does to emulate a vibrating cell phone.

Guzma’s Golisopod is highly protective of his trainer to the point he will attack anyone who tries to hurt him. This overprotectiveness stems from when it was a Wimpod and it couldn’t do anything about Guzma getting beat by his father with golf clubs. It really wanted to do something to protect his trainer and once it evolved it finally could, although it seems like a vast overcompensation. The two people that Golisopod will be very dangerous to approach when in the vicinity are Guzma’s father (if that bastard tries to lay a hand on that boy again this bug will fuck his sh1t up) and Lusamine (he didn’t even trust her to begin with and he was right all along).

Type: Null (and Silvally) loves having its belly rubbed. It even curls up next to Gladion while he sleeps.

Ryuki (the Dragon user who appears as a challenger for the Champion Title) used to be the Trial Captain at Poni’s Abandoned Trial Site. He quit the position to pursue his rock star career and by the time he returned he was no longer eligible to retake that position. Thus, the Trial Site remains without a Captain.

Guzma really doesn’t like Kahili or her guts. He always lost to her when they were kids because her Bird Pokémon held advantage over his bugs, and after his last battle with her she said he could train until he dropped dead from exhaustion but he would never be good enough and that he was absolutely pathetic. Kahili really didn’t care how talented Guzma was, if he never placed first in any competition he entered, he wasn’t worthy in her eyes. Not even the Dawn Stone he won for his first ever victory was warranted. To Guzma, Kahili was just like his father and that’s why he refuses to have anything to do with her.

Mohn is actually pretty damn strong physically and used to be in really good shape. After getting married, having kids, and the stress from his studies on the Ultra Wormholes, however, the pounds started packing on. Eating all those Poke Beans doesn’t really help.

Lillie made a lemon cake for Lusamine to commemorate her 4th consecutive week on the mend and showing good progress in recovery. Lusamine loved it and broke down into tears after Lillie revealed that Burnette taught her how to bake, going on to profusely apologize and vent her regret for not teaching Lillie or Gladion anything about baking or something they may have been interested in.

Tapu Cocoa has a similar history as that of hot chocolate’s evolution in Mexico, but what helped shape Tapu Cocoa is the fact it was a drink created in honor of the Tapus. Koko, Lele, Bulu, and Fini were so pleased with the respective concoction prepared for them as tribute by the mortals, that each kind of Tapu Cocoa was adjusted and perfected for consumption by all. On Melemele, the drink is prepared with a splash of coconut; Akala, often served with a strawberry tea cake or with crushed raspberry; Ula’ula, prepared with chile peppers; and on Poni, prepared with orange peel or served with a macadamia nut cookie.

The only way that Kukui can get away with the assumption that the Masked Royal is someone entirely different is that he can pull of the character well enough that the illusion stands. Unfortunately the player character can see right through it (he shouldn’t have spoke with his usual speaking pattern when the player got to Royal Avenue).

Headcanon voices of the Tapus: Koko’s voice sounds similar to the Guardian of the Cave of Souls’ from The Book of Life, portrayed by Eric Bauza; Lele’s voice would sound similar to a very serious Pinkie Pie from Friendship is Magic, portrayed by Andrea Libman; Bulu’s voice would be similar to that of the Cave of Wonders, portrayed by Frank Welker; Fini’s voice would be reminiscent of Rarity’s from Friendship is Magic, portrayed by Tabitha St. Germaine.

Guzma’s Golisopod and Plumeria’s Salazzle have an interesting take on the friendly rivalry relationship. They’ll fight each other and give each other sh1t, but they’ve got each other’s backs. Mess with one, you mess with both. And if left to their own devices they can restrain each other if needed (although Salazzle is the one doing the most restraining).

Golisopod, Salazzle, Rockruff, Silvally, and to a certain extent, RotomDex, are on the cock block squad; Golisopos and Salazzle to Guzma and Plumeria, Rockruff to Kukui and Burnette, Silvally to Gladion, and RotomDex to the player.

Kahili comes across as pushy and having no time for anyone’s antics, but in reality she pushes herself to perfection way too hard and blows off people who try to help her. She’s so focused on trying to be the best in the golfing world that when she eventually cracks under the pressure she’ll have no idea how to get back on track or reach out for help.

The tattoos that the Team Skull higher-ups wear are actually made from a cosmetic paint that’s highly durable and can last for a whole year. Hence why they easily disappeared post-game, Guzma and Plumeria scrubbed them off (and it took 2 and a half hours straight to scrub them off).

Faba can admittedly be very cocky about his position, which he may have been able to get away with while Lusamine was running the Aether Foundation, but Gladion can easily one-up him and put him in his place.

The whole squatting thing among Team Skull actually started with Guzma. The guy suffers from quite a bit of back pain, which stems from all the times he was beaten by his father. His hunched over posture, not only a sign of someone who’s been browbeaten to the point their self esteem has sunk to the lowest doldrums, is the result of poorly set broken bones that have since healed over (Plumeria and especially Hala hound him on getting into a therapist to get that fixed as soon as possible) and when he does stand up straight his back cracks very loudly. While hunching over helps the pain a bit, in the long run it makes it worse; the pain also seems to worsen while sleeping in a weird position, slouching while sitting, or during sex on some occasions. The only thing that really seems to help his back outside of Plumeria cracking his spine back in place while lying face down is squatting down when he needs a break from standing. Some Grunts asked why he squatted down when he needed to rest and he just responded “It helps my back and I just think it’s cool.” Cue the Grunts joining him and soon it was a thing all across the team.

The Seafolk Village in Poni Island takes a lot of cues from Adabat from Sonic Unleashed as the two locations are in close proximity (at least a 5 hour boat trip). Probably explains why the night theme sounds like it was inspired by the Jungle Joyride night stages.

The old lady in the trailer that Plumeria and some other Team Skull members live in post-game is actually a very grandmotherly family friend of one of the Grunts. She’s helping them get back into good standing.

Mimikyu could disguise itself as any Pokémon it pleases if it wanted, but it sticks with imitating Pikachu because of it being the mascot and because it wants to nab a share of all that glory and attention.

After battling Lana, the reason why she doesn’t pop up again until after the player is crowned Champion is because she took the boat near her house to go look for Kyogre. She didn’t find it, but she made friends with a lot of Water Pokémon out there.

Despite Plumeria sounding irritated with Guzma post-game, she’s actually worried sick about him. When she does meet up with him again she can’t even pretend to be mad at him, she’s just so happy he’s okay and is actually brought to tears when he reveals he’s taken Hala up on his offer and is back on the road to becoming a great trainer again.

Personal Headcanon! Based on my experiences at the Hau’oli Battle Buffet, I don’t think my character could actually eat 5-10 servings of a single item in one go (whenever I see text like “You got _ plates of (whichever food)” I tend to think the plate size reflects the average plate size at American buffets—they’re big, about 12” in diameter). So, I like to think that once I’ve gotten my haul I actually share my food with my team.

Adding onto an earlier headcanon, Plumeria and Kahili didn’t like each other at all either especially because of his past with the latter. After Plums went through the Elite 4, Kahili mentioned Guzma and that Plumeria could do better than him. Plumeria got so angry about her attitude that she had to give her a verbal dressing down and once Kahili found out that Guzma got HURT by his own parents for losing, she actually felt sick to her stomach after remembering everything she ever said. She still fears it’s too late to apologize even behind her cutthroat demeanor. And if she attempts, man will Plumeria have to serve as the most patient mediator ever. Apologizing to Plums is one thing, apologizing to Guzma is another.

Gladion won’t admit it, but he likes it when Hau invites him over to his house. One time he brought over his console and some Sonic games for a sleepover and it was the most fun he’s ever had.

Olivia has encouraged Mallow to make her own YouTube channel where she makes videos about her latest recipes. While Mallow hasn’t made her channel at all—besides, she’s too busy with her duties as a Trial Captain--she still wonders about how well her show would do if she made it. She’d call it “Mallow’s Kitchen” or “Sugar, Spice, and Delish Tamato Slice!”

Kiawe would never have considered putting Wyoming on his bucket list of places to travel to had someone not mentioned Yellowstone National Park and the supervolcano slumbering beneath it. Now he’s gotta check that sh1t out.

Colress is a secret agent for the Aether Foundation.

Ilima was bumped up a couple grades because of his maturity and willingness to accept greater responsibilities as a Trial Captain.

Plumeria knows firsthand that the “skinny penis” joke associated with Guzma is a flat out lie.

Wicke jokingly checked out some Steven Universe episodes at Faba’s recommendation. One season later, she became infatuated with the series.

Guzma has a very bad habit of lying to his mother and he hates himself for it. The reason why it sprung up as bad as it did is because his mother, while well-meaning, is really none the wiser about her husband’s behavior. Mother asks about his bruises? Guzma says he fell on Route 3 even though the bruises came from, well, the obvious. Mother asks why Guzma can’t get out of bed? He says his stomach hurts even though he was hit so hard last night he was still in too much pain to get up. Mother asks about Team Skull? Guzma says he had no involvement even though the news HAD to have covered them at some point and may have footage of him. Even if he did tell the truth growing up what could she even do about it? Sit his dad down and talk about what’s going on and try to resolve it? Guzma still loves his mom, but he’s starting to get tired of her laze-faire attitude and naivety that would make Lianne Cartman look like she’s got her ducks in a row.

Ilima makes either sugar cookies or macadamia nut cookies when friends come over for tea. They just seem like just the kind of fancy cookies that would be served with tea, in his opinion.

Hau faced Hala first in his run through the Elite 4 and convinced him to go all out against him. Considering that Hala unintentionally scared Hau when he was little and refused to unleash his fury since then in battle, Hala took that challenge. At the end of their battle, both of them were crying as Hau went to hug him; Hau was proud of his grandpa for unleashing his full fury in battle, and Hala was proud of his grandson for how far he’s come and bringing his best.

Mina has always had paint in her hair. Finger paint, acrylic, oil, you name it. When you get super artistic from a young age you never really pay attention to where your painting tool goes outside of the canvas.

Guzma’s hair is hella SOFT. It’s like petting a cloud made of very plush microfleece. To keep it that way, Plumeria lets him use her shampoo and conditioner and he makes sure to wash his hair every other day.

Molayne likes to think of the frequency of his friends cussing on a scale from 1 (no swearing here) to South Park (they swear so much you’d think they need their mouth washed out with soap). Molayne ranks about a 3 (some swearing, but only as needed), Kukui is about a 4 (might need a stronger word on occasion for things), Sophocles ranks about 4, Hala ranks about 3, Hau is a 1, Nanu is a 6 (frequent low-key swearing to infrequent strong swearing) Plumeria is a 9 (uses stronger words very frequently), and Guzma ranks at South Park (he swears a LOT). The player character… well it depends on who you are, I guess.

The best place to get Tapu Cocoa is at the Observatory. Especially at dusk.

Guzma and Plumeria rarely get completely unclothed for sex because their outfits are just too comfortable. All they really gotta do is kick off their shoes and socks, Guzma will get rid of his glasses, off go Plumeria’s pants and sports bra, and Guzma just has to yank the front of his pants down, pull the crotch of her panties aside and stick it in. Plumeria also pulls her shirt up over one or both boobs for him to grab. Sex after showering or bathing only really calls for Plumeria to clip her hair back. Condoms only used to protect against STD’s since she’s on the pill (this is the only relationship they’ve ever been in, but you never know).

Sorry, Grunts, you may be sexually attracted to Plumeria or Guzma (it seems to be a rite of passage for a Grunt to find themselves attracted to either of them during their involvement) and you can fantasize about fucking all you want, but sex between the Grunts and the higher ups is off limits.

If you want to know how bad Ultra Space affected him, Guzma has had to confide in Hala and Nanu about a particularly bad nightmare he had one night about being tentacle raped by Lusamine as the Mother Beast. Sure, he’s had nightmares for a while as a result but damn…

Professor Willow is Guzma’s biological father. Because Guzma’s mother isn’t the most trustworthy in long-term relations, she was seeing Willow on the sideline while already in a relationship with the man she would later marry. Guzma was then conceived by Willow in a time frame so close to sex with the husband that the mother and her husband both thought Guzma was of the man we see in the game. The mother continues to see Willow on the sideline while pregnant and he’s well aware of her having an affair with him and tries to get her to just come clean to her husband and he’ll help mediate the fallout. She really doesn’t think it’s that big a deal. Willow takes her to the hospital and at birth it can be seen that Guzma’s hair is a dead giveaway of his parentage (black and white, just like Willow’s). The husband eventually finds out and puts two and two together when Willow comes over to see the baby. The mother gets caught with her cheating but still treats it like no big deal, Willow is forced to stay out of his son’s life indefinitely, and Guzma looks forward to a miserable life with this man as his father. If Willow could do it over again, he would’ve just walked right up to the husband, told the truth about the affair, and accept a role as a single father to raise Guzma on his own once he was born. Professor Willow misses him so much and he knows he’s going to have a lot to talk about with Guzma when he finally sees him again.

While going through some of Plumeria’s music, Guzma and Gladion found a couple of ‘N Sync CDs. Wondering why Plumeria listens to them a lot they decide to play them for the lulz. The next day they’re in the nearest media store looking for their own copies.

THIS WAS 10 PAGES OF HEADCANONS IN MICROSOFT WORD WHAT THE FUCK???