#guys u don't understand how much i love golden hour part 2 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fydream · 5 years ago

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✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

a/n: hi! an authors note before this chapter begins! 1. yes i know the formatting is different but that’s only because this chapter is 5.9k words long!! (yes you heard me!! 5.9k!! that’s the most ive written for anything published on this blog!!) so there will be a cut bc i know it’s annoying to scroll past long posts haha. 2. i know i didn’t mention it in this chapter but i just wanted to say that if you did want to listen to music while reading this, during y/n and jisung’s scene you should definitely listen to euphoria by bts and that jeno and donghyuck’s song is i.l.y. by the rose. i hope u guys enjoy!

An hour or so later you're running out your front door to meet Jisung, who already regrets saying he'll wait.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" You apologize. "I didn't mean to take that long you must've been bored out of your mind!"

"It's okay." Jisung reassures. "We won't be there that long, we might be a little late to hoco if that's okay with you."

"That's fine!! Just let me text Donghyuck that I'm with you then."

"Okay."

The ride to where Jisung is taking you is quiet, nothing but his various hums to the music he plays as as he drives. It's nice, it reminds you of the first time he gave you a ride home. Quiet, but comfortable.

Instead of looking at your phone you look out the window, then take a second to look at Jisung before looking back out the window again.

You so weren't slick about it either because he notices how you quick you look away and how eager you are to sneak another glance.

"What?" He asks. "Why'd you look at me like that?"

"It's nothing.." You mumble, trying best to hide the smile that's slowly creeping up on your face.

"C'mon." He insists. "Tell me!!" He tries to make it sound like he doesn't care about the topic that much, but his vocal chords work against him as it comes out as a whine.

"Nothing.. It's just.. You look like that, and I look like this.."

"What, you mean beautiful like always?"

Jisung makes note of how quickly your cheeks turn pink at the comment he made.

"You can't just say that!" You argue.

"Yes I can, you're my date tonight after all. What kind of person would I be to not compliment their date?"

You open your mouth, about to speak before he cuts you off from your thought. "And don't worry y/n. I'll take that look as a compliment itself." He snickers.

"Hey!" You shout, earning another laugh from him.

"Hey Jisung?" You ask once the giggles die down.

"Hm?"

"Don't tell anyone I've said this but um.." You start, trailing off at the last part. "Donghyuck has uh, told me things.. about you." You notice how he looks at you, how the expression on his face quickly changes from happy and carefree, to concerned and worried. "I know you probably know what I'm talking about.. I uh- I can kinda.. tell.."

"Yeah." He whispers, trying to block out what you just told him.

"But y'know. I think he's got you all wrong."

"You do?" He asks, a bit too eagerly.

"I do." You say. "From the past how many weeks? Of knowing you, we've gotten close. And I don't think you're anything like that, at least, not anymore.. I've seen the difference between how you act in class and when you're with Jeno and Jaemin, than how you are when we're together and I'd like to hope it isn't just an act. I'm not stupid, y'know."

"I never said you were, I never thought you were either."

"I know. You're not too hard to read, y'know."

For once, Jisung is left speechless. This is the first time anyone has really brought this up on him and he has no idea how to respond. Questions begin to flood his thoughts as he begins to wonder what do you know. Do you know the real reason why he asked you out? How long have you known? What if you never want to talk to him again?

"I-" He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay. I don't know everything about you." You scoff, watching as the boy next to you lets out an exhale. "I don't know that much, but I know enough."

"Enough?" He asks.

"Enough to know that if you are going to break my heart, you should do it right now. Because this is the part where I'm about to tell you how much I like you, and I don't want you getting that satisfaction."

Once you're done talking, you give him a smile. It's a small, innocent, bittersweet smile. It's one of the smiles you would give out to other girls who were ever mean to you, it's subtle, but it gets the point across.

"So what'll be? Park Jisung." You ask, awaiting a response.

Jisung has many things to think about right now, the most important one being driving. He still has yet to process everything you just told him, let alone figure out what to say.

"I.. don't know what to tell you, y/n." He sighs. "I don't want to hurt you.. Can you give me a few minutes?"

"You can have all the time in the world, sweetheart."

When Jisung finally decides to talk to you once you've reached your destination. If you're going to be honest, it was the most awkward car ride you've been in.

"Okay." He starts, closing his car door. "I know that was way more than a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you this here."

The spot that he had taken you to was a little hill area, on the other side of town. From the top of it you could see the sun set as it's golden rays covered the place you called home. You weren't going to lie, it was beautiful indeed but you didn't care for it at the moment. What you wanted to know was what he was going to say.

"I was.. gonna tell you this here no matter what happened so uh.. Here goes nothing?" There's hesitation, and you can already tell that whatever he was going to tell you was something big. "I'm not here to break your heart, y/n. I know, that's what you thought and probably what everyone else thought too but.. you're different. I know this."

Your brain wants you to call bullshit on that statement but your heart prevents you from doing so. The logical part of you believes that it's probably all a lie, an act just to get you to fall for him. You know this. You know the stories, you've seen the receipts of what he's done to people before you, and you can only assume the things he'll do just to make you fall for him. But if you knew this, then why does it still work?

"Am I really different?" You ask, looking up at him with shaky eyes.

He chuckles.

"Well, yeah. For starters, you're the first girl to ever call me out on my bullshit like that so.." He jokes. "I know.. you're scared. But you shouldn't be." He whispers. "You really are different. I promise."

"Listen, Jisung." You start. "I really want to believe you. It's just hard, because you haven't really given me a reason on why I should."

"That's okay. I understand." He says softly. "I didn't expect you to."

For a second, your heart breaks. It would've continued if he didn't continue talking right then and there.

"But what if I told you all the reasons why you should?" He asks, giving you a shy smile.

"What are they?"

"Well first of all. You're smart. You're smarter than I'll ever be. You've figured me out in what? The span of three months? You don't give yourself enough credit than you deserve. Second of all, you're really passionate about a lot of things. Like that time we argued in the library over the best Stranger Things season? Even though you were wrong, you kept arguing against me."

"Hey!" You exclaim, while Jisung gives you a smile in response.

"Third of all, you're really cute. Don't think I don't notice how your nose scrunches whenever I make a comment you don't like, or how easily you get excited over the simplest things. Remember when we walked to the cafe across the street from school? You got excited because the place had good boba, out of all things. Do you know how ridiculous you sounded?"

"Well- yeah! That's because it was a cafe! And not a boba shop!" You defend.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Also, did you know that whenever you get embarrassed over something not only your cheeks turn pink, but your nose does too."

"You can stop now.. y'know.." You mumble.

"These are just a few things that I like about you, y/n. Do I need to tell you all of them for you to believe me?" He asks, looking at you innocently, as if he didn't just give you the biggest ego boost of all time.

"I believe you." You giggle as he pulls you in for a tight hug.

"Thanks, love." He whispers, placing a light kiss on the top of your head. "Now it's your turn. What were you going to tell me in the car?"

The next hour or so is spent with you two talking about each other, both of you giving out compliments as if there were no tomorrow. If it weren't for the sun being completely gone then you two probably wouldn't have noticed how long you've been alone together.

"Oh my god." Jisung exclaims. "What time is it?"

"Uhm.. Seven fifteen?" You respond, quite confused on why he was suddenly freaking out.

"We have to go, now. They're going to close the doors in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay!" You smile, eagerly skipping back to Jisung's car with his hand intertwined with yours. "We better get going then, huh?"

"Y/n said that she might be late because she's with Jisung already." Donghyuck tells Renjun and Chenle once pull up in front of his house.

Renjun had driven both of them together due to them only being a block away from each other. Donghyuck on the other hand was going to drive you, but when you texted him that you were already with Jisung he decided to ask Renjun for a ride. "Sorry for the inconvenience.. by the way." He mumbles, buckling his seat belt.

"It's alright. Where do you think they went?" Renjun asks.

"Hell if I know. This is the most I've seen Jisung do for anyone." Donghyuck retorts, clearly bitter about being ditched by his best friend.

"Should we be worried?" Chenle asks.

"I don't think so." Donghyuck responds. "Y/n is her own person and she can handle herself, plus what the fuck is Jisung even gonna do? They probably went to take pictures or something."

Chenle shrugs. "I guess so. How are you doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

Chenle shrugs again. "You know what I mean. During the time you two fought you barely said anything to each other, it was just her hanging out with Jisung. Then, even after you made up she ditched us to hang out with him and even now they're probably on a date before the dance or something. How are you dealing with it?"

Once Chenle is done talking, Renjun shoots him a glare before hitting him lightly on the back of his head.

"Ouchie.. That hurt!" Chenle whines. "Aren't you supposed to be driving Junnie.~~" He teases.

"Yeah but I'm also trying to make sure no one fucking cries tonight." He hisses. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I dunno. Was curious I guess?"

"Haven't you heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"

"It's been alright." Donghyuck says to prevent Renjun from harming Chenle any more. "I haven't really thought about it I guess? I mean.. I was the one who assigned her to Jisung after all so.."

"Do you think she y'know? Likes him?" He asks.

"Chenle!"

"Whaaaat?? I'm just asking."

"Zhong Chenle you will drop this topic before I stop this car and make you walk to homecoming alone."

"You wouldn't do that. You love me too much."

"Don't try me." Renjun threatens, turning on his blinker.

"Okay okay.. god.."

"Are you two done arguing now?" Donghyuck asks, rolling his eyes. "And no, Chenle. I don't think she does. If she did she would've told me by now."

"Alright Hyuck.. Whatever you say."

Sooner than later the three arrive at school where Renjun drops off Chenle and Donghyuck to hop in the line already forming before leaving to park his car.

"Ask any more questions Lele, and you're walking home." Renjun threatens before Chenle slams the car door on him.

"I mean it this time!" Renjun yells as he watches the two boys walk away from him.

"So." Chenle starts as Renjun drives off. "What's your answer?"

Donghyuck gives him a confused look. "Answer?"

"To y'know.. the question."

"I already told you."

"No silly, I meant your real answer."

Donghyuck is silent for a second before he decides to answer.

"How did you know?" He asks, and Chenle giggles.

"You just told me." He laughs. "I didn't think you'd walk into that one, Hyuck."

"Oh shut up." Donghyuck teases. "It's not like it would matter or anything."

"I supposed you're right." Chenle hums. "But if it did.. Then what?"

"Then I'd tell her to get out of there." Donghyuck whispers to himself.

"Hm?"

"Oh- uh, nothing. I dunno." Donghyuck responds. He knows he has no chance in fooling Chenle but even after that response you'd know not to bother him about the topic anymore.

Once Renjun is done parking he meets up with the two boys and they discuss about how their night will go. While the line slowly moves Renjun argues with Chenle that they should take photos first. Chenle argues back saying that he wants snacks and that all the good ones will be gone if they wait too long. While this goes on Donghyuck has been sending you frequent texts.

[hyuck: hey! we're in line now! see you in a bit?]

[hyuck: are you on your way soon?]

[hyuck: pls hurry.. renle fighting.. dk what to do..]

Needless to say, you haven't responded to any one of them, leaving Donghyuck wonder what you were even doing.

After successfully waiting in line and making it through their schools quick security check, Chenle, Renjun, and Donghyuck had finally made it inside the gymnasium where the dance was being held.

Once inside they move to an quieter place, where they could talk without having to yell over the already loud music that's being played.

"What about you Hyuck?" Renjun asks. "What do you want to do first?"

"Hmm? What? Sorry." Donghyuck responds, checking his phone once more before pocketing it. "What's happening?"

Renjun frowns. "You weren't listening, huh?"

"No, sorry." He apologizes. "Y/n hasn't texted me back yet and I don't want to do anything until she gets here y'know?"

"Don't worry Hyuck, it's possible they're still outside or something. They just opened the doors y'know."

"Yeah I know.. I'm just.. yeah."

Ten minutes later, you still haven't responded and the music is loud, but it's not loud enough to drown out Donghyuck's heartbeat as he frantically awaits your arrival. As each second passes by he begins to regret letting you go with Jisung, because you're never late, but the second that he lets Jisung control how your night starts you're ten minutes late and they're be closing the doors to the dance soon.

Renjun begins to notice that you aren't here either and decides walk over to Donghyuck to ask if he knew where you were.

"Hyuck, is Y/n here yet?" He asks, tapping his shoulder lightly.

Donghyuck gives no verbal response, instead he shakes his head while he fiddles with his phone checking back if you happened to text him. "I don't know where she is Junnie.."

"Hey, it's okay." He reassures. "It's not like she's in danger or anything, I know you don't trust Jisung that much but I doubt he'd do anything to hurt her. She'll be here soon, okay? I promise."

"Junnie~~" Chenle whines, popping up from behind them. "I'm boredddd. Can't we just do something already?"

"Lele, not now." Renjun shoos. "We're talking here."

"It's okay." Donghyuck says. "You guys can go do something, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from having fun tonight."

"Are you sure?" Renjun asks, he knows not to believe Donghyuck but he's getting quite annoyed at the fact that Chenle keeps pulling at his arm.

"Yeah. It's fine, if anything happens I'll text one of you."

"You heard him!! Let's go!!" Chenle exclaims before grabbing Renjun by the arm to drag him to god knows where.

"Chenle!" Renjun yelps. "I-I'll text you Hyuck! We won't be gone for long. I swear!" He yells back at him.

And then the two were gone. Leaving Donghyuck alone, by himself.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone, in a place full of people.

He doesn't know why he let them go off without him, maybe it's because he wanted to be alone, or maybe it's because he didn't know any better. But standing alone on the sides of a school dance, with no one to talk to really shows how lonely you are. He knows none of you meant to do it to him on purpose, it's just him overthinking things after all. But if he was okay with them leaving, then why did it hurt?

Deciding it was awkward enough to just stand there and people watch, Donghyuck decides to go back on his phone. He checks your text messages only to see no response. "Great." He thinks to himself. "You said you would be here, but you're not. I guess you did spend a lot of time with them after all."

Donghyuck feels himself about to cry when someone taps his shoulder. He closes his eyes trying to fight back the few tears that threaten to spill before having to talk to whoever was with him. He didn't want to answer any questions on why he was crying, only knowing that if someone asked him if he was okay he wouldn't be able to control them.

When Donghyuck looks up from his phone, the last person he expected to see is standing in front of him.

"Hi." Jeno greets. It's short, and airy. But it's just enough to get his heart racing. Is it from fear? Worry? Or is it from the fact that his ex, just so happened to catch him at the wrong place and wrong time.

"Hi." Donghyuck responds. It doesn't mean much because he didn't put any emotion into it, instead he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. He looks past Jeno towards the entrance of the gymnasium in hopes of seeing you walk in, spoiler alert, you didn't. "Chenle and Renjun picked the worst time to leave.." He thinks to himself. "I can't blame them though, after all I did tell them it was okay."

"You um- You look beautiful." Jeno compliments, giving Donghyuck a half-hearted smile. "So I've been told.." Donghyuck murmurs before attempting to push past the boy standing in front of him. "Listen. I don't have any time for this right now. Y/n said she would be here and she's not so-"

"Hyuck- Donghyuck, wait." Jeno starts, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist to prevent him from going any further.

"What the fuck? Let go of me!" He yells. It's loud enough to get the attention of a few people around him, but the music the DJ is playing is way to loud for them to have heard what he said.

"Hyuckie, I- Will you please let me explain?" Jeno practically begs, this is the first time that he and Donghyuck have interacted in person since the break up and he can already tell that he's blowing it.

"Don't- Don't call me that." Donghyuck states, hesitant to answer. "You've already explained yourself enough."

"Hyuckie.. Please. We haven't talked in months, you haven't let me say anything."

Of course, Jeno had to find Donghyuck in one of these moments, where one of their songs was being played by the DJ. It was one of the songs that Jeno had showed him, meaning it left such a big impact on his heart. He doesn't know what to do, does he accept Jeno's offer and let him explain? Or does he continue the rest of his high school career pretending that Jeno doesn't exist, leaving many questions unanswered.

Panic starts to fill Donghyuck as he looks around to see if anyone had noticed him and Jeno together. It would cause a bunch of talk, considering that fact that they were both pretty popular and that teenagers loved to start rumors.

He notices Jaemin as he spots Jeno from across the room, by the way Jaemin is walking towards them he can tell that he was looking for Jeno himself, clearly unhappy and very confused where he found him. He glances back at the entrance for a split second before looking towards the direction that his two friends had gone off in, only to see them walking back towards him, just as confused as Jaemin is. He can see the concern rise in Renjun once he sees who Donghyuck is with, as he grabs Chenle's arm to drag him across the makeshift dance floor that their school has created, where Chenle had decided to stop to talk to a few friends.

He looks back towards the entrance and to his luck he sees you and Jisung walk in. Thankful, he lets out a sigh of relief because he sees that you're here and that you're safe. He notices the smile that you have on your face and though he was a bit far away he can tell it's a genuine smile, like one of the one's you would show him when it was just you two hanging out. "I guess I worried for nothing." He thinks to himself, as he watches you two skip in, hands intertwined.

And amongst all this commotion happening at once, his ex, out of all people had to come up to him and ask him a question he knew he wouldn't be able to answer. So what does he do? He panics, of course.

"Oh my fucking god.." Donghyuck mumbles to no one in particular. Jeno seems to hear it but he doesn't process it because he's too busy being dragged by Donghyuck who was attempting to blend in with the big group of people who happened to pass by.

When Renjun, Chenle, and Jaemin end up where Donghyuck and Jeno were previously standing they're left more confused on where the two went. Though it's loud, Donghyuck manages to pick out Renjun's voice yell "What the fuck?" over a crowd of teenagers.

Donghyuck smiles to himself, knowing that he successfully got away. He didn't think it'd work, he'd only seen it in movies before and you know what people say, it's just movie magic after all.

"Where are we going?" Jeno asks innocently.

"Outside." Donghyuck responds, leading their way towards the "exit" sign on the other side of the gymnasium.

"Why?" Jeno asks once more, and Donghyuck turns around just to shoot him a glare.

"So no one. fucking. sees us." He grits through his teeth.

Needless to say, Jeno doesn't ask any more questions after that.

"Where is everyone?" You ask Jisung through the fit of giggles you let out.

"I dunno. Jeno isn't answering his phone so I'll call Jaemin, yeah?" He responds, just as giddy as you are.

"Oh, I was talking about Renjun, Chenle, and Hyuck."

"You can hang with us for a bit!" Jisung insists.

"I know but I haven't seen them all day." You pout. "I'll hang out with you after!! Besides, they're my best friends after all. How would you feel if I took you away from Jeno and Jaemin?"

"My dear you're allowed to do that any day of the week. I like you better than them anyways." He teases.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant." You snort. "Can we just go find them please?"

"Yeah, hold on- Hi Jaemin!" Jisung says through his phone. "What? Sorry.. I can't really hear you. Is that Renjun? Why is he yelling at you?"

Your ears perk up hearing the name of your friend leave Jisung's mouth. "Renjun?" You ask, looking at him curious. "Are they okay?"

Jisung nods at you while trying to hear what Jaemin has to say, it's hard considering the fact that there's not only loud music coming from his phone speakers but the voice of an angry boy as well, and to add onto that, the same music being played just a couple feet away from you.

Pouting, you look at him. Jisung can tell you're worried about your friends by the way that your pupils shake as he pulls you into another tight hug, hoping to ease a bit of the worry.

From then you can kind of make out the conversation on the phone, it's something about Jeno and Donghyuck being together then suddenly disappearing out of thin air, like a magic trick.

"Where are you?" Jisung asks.

"We're in one of the back corners." Jaemin yells through his phone. "The uhh.. One on the right, your left."

"Okay. We're on our way." Jisung says before hanging up.

"I guess our night of fun had to end somewhere." He tells you before you two head further into the gymnasium to meet up with your friends.

Once you meet up with the three boys you're greeted with a hug from Chenle while you watch as Renjun and Jaemin argue.

"So they were right here?" You ask tapping Renjun's shoulder.

"Yeah. And then all of a sudden they disappeared." He says, quite frantically.

"Y'know worrying isn't going to do anything." Jaemin taunts.

"Yeah! And you making snarky comments doesn't help either!" Renjun shoots back.

"Can you two stop bickering a second?" Chenle snaps, surprising all of you. "We have no idea where the fuck they went and for the past five minutes all you two have done is argue? Why haven't we checked anywhere yet?"

"Because, Lele. They could be anywhere. We're in a room full of teenagers." Renjun states.

"For once, I agree with this one." Jaemin adds on, earning a glare from Renjun and a facepalm from Jisung.

"Okay? And? Have you ever thought about the fact that they could y'know, be outside?" Chenle asks.

"Why would they be outside?" You ask.

"Because it's loud in here, and it looked like they wanted to talk."

"So.." Jeno says, swinging his legs back and forth. He was currently seated on top of one of the picnic tables your school had, while Donghyuck was standing across from him, leaning against the corner of a wall.

"You said you would explain, so explain." Donghyuck states.

Jeno takes a deep breath as he stops swinging his legs, he looks at the ground before looking up towards Donghyuck who was already looking at him, clearly annoyed at the fact that Jeno was stalling.

"It was a dare." He starts, before Donghyuck cuts him off.

"Yes I know. We all know." He spits.

"But theres more." Jeno says once again. "As you know, Jisung dared me to ask you out and me, being the asshole I was back then, I agreed and decided to do so.." He pauses for a second. Trying to think of what to say next.

"Listen are you gonna keep stopping or are you going to tell the story?" Donghyuck comments, it's only been two minutes and he's already fed up with Jeno's bullshit.

"I am. I'm just trying to think about the right words to say."

"Why? So that I can fall back in love with you?"

"No, Hyuckie-"

"I said, don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because Jeno!" Donghyuck yells, voice cracking as he tries to control the same tears from earlier from falling. "I am still in love with you! Each time I hear you say that stupid nickname my heart does leaps and I can't fucking stop it!"

His voice is loud enough for you to figure out where he is, and while the other students outside look around trying to find out what's going on, both you and Renjun take off running towards the sound of Donghyuck's voice.

Arriving in time to hear Donghyuck finish the last words of his sentence he can't tell if he's hurt or if he's relieved to see you. A sense of relief washes over him once he spots you, Renjun, and Chenle running in his direction. But then he sees Jisung and Jaemin, not that far behind you three, and he feels hurt, betrayed to say the most.

"So this is why you asked me, huh?" He scoffs, looking at Jeno with glossy eyes. "So you and your friends can get a little more enjoyment of my misery."

"Hyuckie- I-" Jeno starts.

"Save it. I don't ever want to hear from you again, Jeno. I can't believe I even believed you would tell me the truth."

Nothing more is said as Donghyuck walks away from all of you, and Jaemin and Jisung run towards Jeno. It's quiet, despite there being the sounds of the muffled music that's only being played from a hallway away, it feels like a horror movie with the unsettling silence between all of you.

Renjun is the first one to talk. His voice not only startles you, but grabs the attention of Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin who happened to be a few feet in front of you.

"What the fuck happened?" He asks, looking at Jeno in the eye.

"I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry.. and that I missed things the way they were.." Jeno says, voice barely above a whisper.

Both you and Chenle can tell that Renjun is about to start yelling and if someone doesn't stop him now then fists will be thrown. Renjun is about to start talking again when Chenle interupts him.

"Junnie." He says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's not worth it. Let's just go find Hyuck, okay?" He eases.

Renjun takes a second to sigh and relaxes before deciding to head off with Chenle, he know's it'll only make things worse but he really wants to tell the three boys off and possibly throw a punch or two. "It's okay.." Chenle coos at him.

"Y/n, are you coming?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Just give me a second. I'll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Just text me where you are." You say quickly before glancing over at Jeno and his crew.

Chenle looks at you, confused on why you were looking at Jeno. It only takes him a second to realize what you were doing before he walks off with a hesitant nod. "Um.. Okay.. Just uh, don't be long. I know Hyuck wanted to see you."

"Thanks Lele. You're the best." You say, before talking off towards Jeno.

"Lee Jeno." You state, standing where Donghyuck previously was. You earn a few glances from Jisung and Jaemin, ask if they were asking each other why you were here and how long you've been there. It's not because they were doing anything bad or wrong, it's because of the fact that they were caught being nice and genuine to one of their friends, something that barely anyone has seen before.

"Y/n." Jeno sniffs, trying his best to wipe away the tears that had managed to leak out. "What are- What are you doing here?"

"Save it." You say, walking towards him. You push Jaemin away as you take a seat on top of the table next to him. It earns you a glare from Jaemin, but you shrug it off and ignore him once he start's complaining that you stole his spot.

"Just- Just tell me everything." You sigh, awaiting a response from the boy next to you.

Jaemin shoots you another look before Jisung walks away with him, knowing this should be a private conversation. They don't go far though, just out of earshot.

"This is my fault." He starts. "If I just continued letting him hate me, then I wouldn't have hurt him like that.."

"It's not your fault, you just wanted to explain things. Do you want to tell me what you were going to tell him? Or is that too personal?" You ask.

Jeno is hesitant to answer. His first initial thought is no, but as the seconds go by his answer changes to yes.

"Start from the top. What happened?" You ask.

You're gentle, and being patient with him. It's something that he's thankful for. It's also something that reminds him of Donghyuck, because whenever the two of them had disagreements Donghyuck would always wait for Jeno to explain, this was the first time he hadn't.

"Okay well.." Jeno sniffs. "If you didn't already know.. Donghyuck and I used to date. Our relationship started off from a dare but as our months together passed by I began to enjoy his company a little bit more. I don't know what it was, and if you asked me I wouldn't be able to tell you but there was just something about him that I ended up liking. Maybe it's the way that his hair flopped on his face each time he ran up to me, or maybe it's because of how tightly he hugged me and how gentle his kisses were, but it was something." He pauses for a second, reliving through a few memories. "I ended up catching feelings.. and as soon as I figured out that I did, he found out how we got together."

"Oh." You sigh, not looking at him.

"I was going to tell him that I meant everything I told him.. All the 'I love you's' and the 'You look beautiful's' but he just wouldn't let me talk.. And then you guys came and that just- that only made things worse.. and now- god.. now he's gone. He said he never wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry, Jeno. It's my fault." You say softly, taking all the blame. "I'm the one who brought everyone here, if it weren't for me then you probably would be talking to him right now."

"It's okay." He reassures. "It's not your fault.. You just wanted to help your friend. I'm sure it would've gone poorly even if you weren't here."

"I doubt that's true."

"Are you kidding me y/n? He hates me! And he the worst part of it is that he has every right to do so.."

"I didn't know people who hated each other confess to each other about still liking one another." You joke, hoping to earn a laugh from Jeno. "Besides, it's not like you won't see each other again. You still have time to make things better, plus you have me on your side."

"My side?" Jeno asks.

"Well yeah. You still like him don't you?"

Jeno sighs, he's lucky you aren't paying that much attention to him because if you did you would've noticed the way he looked at Jisung and how it hurt him more to let you keep going on like this. Nonetheless he lets it happen and he wonders if he really does deserve your help.

"You're too good, y/n."

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aj-anime-blog · 4 years ago

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To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts - Review!

First review here we go!!

So, after being completely and utterly obsessed with Jujutsu Kaisen and AOT season 4, I decided to check out MAPPA studios and watch a bunch of stuff from their roster. My so-called "MAPPA binge" included this strange and unknown piece: Katsute Kami Datta Kemono-tachi e, or in English, To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts. An adaption of a manga originally released in Bessatsu Shounen (you might recognize this as the magazine that released Attack on Titan!), it looked pretty promising. I do have to admit that I didn't read a page of this anime's manga, though the art style on it looks gorgeous!!

The concept behind the show: A war has torn two halves of a nation apart, split into the North and the South. The Northerners, who were previously greatly outnumbered in battle, created a half-human, half-beast species known as "Incarnates" because of their God-like abilities. But the Incarnates begin having some issues when their beast forms take over their bodies, turning them into monsters. When the war ends, our protagonist, Hugh Hank, an Incarnate and previous captain of the Incarnate squad, swears to kill all of his mutating Incarnate buddies before they can destroy the world.

This review will not contain spoilers until the labeled "Spoiler" section at the bottom.

In general, what do I think?: 4/10, this show kinda sucked. Ouch! I hate being that blunt! Especially on my first review here! But To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts (let's call it TTASB from here on out!) had glaring flaws that, while it did hold up as a show, made it uninteresting and hard to love. Not only were the characters mediocre and boring, but the show seemed to contradict itself and its own opinion of the Incarnates all the time! Are they bloodthirsty monsters that need to be killed? Are they misunderstood humans who should be given peace? I don't know! Our main characters don't seem to either! Other than the "war bad" motif that gets shoved down your throat from episode one, the show felt stagnant in what it was trying to make the audience feel.

I hate being so cynical about it, though, because it does still earn those 4 points! Even though a lot of it falls flat, as a whole, it's still an ok show! Hank and Schaal have good concepts and their dilemmas are interesting in certain parts when the writers manage to nail pits and pieces of their development! The fight scenes were cool and I think that the concept for the world was neat! And the show does have a pretty cool title. Let's be honest, To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts sounds super metal.

So what about those characters?: 5/10! Hugh Hank and Schaal are our two main protags for the show, and they both have pretty interesting concepts! Hank is an Incarnate, he used to be the leader of the other Incarnates, and he made a vow with them that when they lost their minds, he would kill them himself. Schaal is the daughter of one of these Incarnates that fought under Hank. Interesting, right?! How could these two opposing characters get along with one another?

TTASB tries to give the two of them a sort of grumpy-old-mentor-teaches-a-cheery-youngster relationship (which, admittedly, is one of my favorite tropes) and manages to forget everything good about having this kind of relationship. To start, it feels like Schaal has next to no reason to be tolerating Hank, and vice versa. She follows him around because *insert some excuse about understanding the Incarnates?* and Hank lets her because *insert I really don't know*. It really feels like Schaal doesn't need to be there, and she's just a plot device to move along Hank's character development.

Then, the two of them never really interact in ways that really moved me. It never felt like they made a deeper connection that meant something to the plot. They interacted, sure. They spoke about their issues, yeah. But it never felt like Hank needed Schaal, or that Schaal was emotionally tied to Hank, until the show spoonfed it to you that they were.

In the end, neither of their developments felt compelling or interesting. There were a few scenes that maybe, if you squinted, hinted towards them growing as people, but for a 12 episode anime, it was very menial. It also felt like said scenes were fairly forced, with their development not really leading them to the point that they ended up at. Again, TTASB has a bit of an issue with contradicting itself.

The villain was so meh. He has a motive, yeah. It's pretty lame. He's not compelling at all. Nothing about him is interesting or kept me hooked on him. The show probably could've existed without him, to be entirely honest. I don't really have much else to say about him! I just did not really care about him at all.

The best characters in the show are hands-down the supporting cast of Incarnates. Each one has fairly interesting motivations, and even though they're only given an episode or so to tell their stories, they feel the most genuine. My biggest qualm with them is that the show doesn't build their connection to Hugh Hank at all, so when he gets emotional over them, you're kind of like "uhhh u know this guy??". More about this down in our spoilers section, as I'll go over a scene where this is prominent.

So characters were meh, but what about the story itself?: 4/10, just as meh. Again, very interesting! Lots of potential! But it fell flat where it mattered. To be clear, just before we dig deeper: the 12 episodes of TTASB isn't the entire story. It's clearly intended to be continued, though, as of writing this, I haven't been able to dig up any news about a potential season 2.

I don't really mind if animes aren't completely original, as long as they're fun, but TTASB didn't really do that. A lot of the episodes felt boring and reused like it was a watered-down copy-paste of other material. Some episodes were repetitive and seemed to be trying to hammer in the same themes, only to be later contradicted by other episodes. TTASB will spend a few episodes showing you how misunderstood and sweet the Incarnates are and then have an episode where an Incarnate murders a bunch of people. I would love it if it was, in any way, shape, or form, sarcastic, but it is not. TTASB just thinks it can get away with the blatant disregarding of its own morals. It only ends up feeling disconnecting and frustrating.

It follows an almost monster-of-the-week style format for introducing the Incarnates, which does them a bit of a disservice, in my opinion. I really would have liked it if there was a bit more overlap between the Incarnates and their stories! We know that they're all very close (or, at least, the show tells us that they are without really showing us) so seeing them interact with one another outside of their respective episode would've been fun!

The story tries to be darker and grimier than it actually is. I didn't end up caring much for the nation itself and much of the politics that the show tried to utilize felt boring and, again, watered-down. It felt like the show wanted to make it a political drama about war and human rights and only ended up shying away from what makes those genres impactful. Again, this isn't to say that TTASB's story is bad, it's just not as good as it could've been.

But it's MAPPA, so the art has to be good, right?: Yeah! Art was cool! Nothing golden, like MAPPA's newer stuff, but a solid 7/10! The fight scenes were nice, and even though a lot of them felt redundant to watch, they were still smooth! I have some qualms about a few of the Incarnates' beast forms (especially Hank's) looking like they belong back in 2001, but they still looked cool nonetheless.

I don't really have much to say on this front! Nothing really blew me away, but I never looked at the screen and winced away.

Ok and finally, pacing!: 4/10. 12 episode animes always have tricky pacing to them. I like to think about the show being pretty much only 5 hours long, which isn't that much time to cram in as much story and plot as they might want to. Overall, TTASB actually had pretty decent pacing, with a long enough build-up that led to a final showdown. If you ask me, I do think there was a pacing problem in the second half, as it felt far too stretched out, but that could've just been my perception of it.

My biggest issue with pacing loops back to the characters again. They're never really given time to explore or build up relationships. Especially not Hank and his prior team of Incarnates. I think that there should've been more screen time dedicated to their time in the army, to better explain the emotional distress that he's going through as he's forced to hunt them down. Instead, TTASB relies on a throwaway line or scene to deliver this emotional blow, and it nearly always falls flat.

Music!!!!: 6/10, The soundtrack in this anime really wasn't memorable and I don't remember much from it. Whoops!

I did like the opening a bit! It was done by Mafumafu, who I think has done a Pokemon intro song? Either way, it was energetic and fit the theme of the show well! The ending is also a bop, now that I'm thinking about it! It manages to be nostalgic and sad without being too slow! So good music on both fronts!!

OK, now we're in spoiler territory! Be warned!

I don't have too much to say regarding spoilers. Nothing in the show really feels important enough that I have to mention it under a spoiler tag. A few small notes, I suppose.

The show treats Hank like the more important character but then throws him away in his "death" to focus on Schaal, which was a very frustrating episode. Schaal felt so bland and useless in it, even when she faced her father again. Bringing him back to life felt like a sad excuse to force her into character development. I did like it when she found the courage to shoot him, but I also thought that it wasn't really as emotional as the show wanted it to be.

Hank's connection with Schaal, particularly in the second half, feels completely unnatural and forced. When she gets kidnapped, he has some sort of mental breakdown over her and it, if anything, felt creepy. It was undeserved and was forced down your throat rather than built.

Beatrice was the best character in the show and I think that if they stuck to ideas like hers (misunderstood creatures who just want to go back to their old lives), the story would have been much better. Instead, you switch to characters like the Gargoyle Incarnate, who just goes on a murder spree, and it ruins a lot of the development that Beatrice brought to the table.

& our deep deep look at one part: Forgive me if I get this screwed up a bit, it's been a weekish since I finished the show and my brain dumped out all details of it already.

Hugh Hank goes to the mountains and fights the Garmr Incarnate, Rex (Roy? I'm a bit confused on his name), in an epic show-down. Obviously, at the end of it, Hank wins, killing Rex. Now, if you're like me, you sat there for most of the fight going "who tf is Rex and why is this battle important?" and only at the very END, when he's dying, do you see a clip that you might remember from the very beginning of the anime, with Rex talking about Schaal. You go "oohhh I know who he is!" but you wished that you remembered this ten minutes ago when the fight started because it would've been so much more impactful. The show didn't remind you of this scene. It didn't tell you that Rex was this same person that you already met. It expected you to remember, and I didn't. This scene sums up a lot of the character problems with the show, where even if something does have emotional weight, the show doesn't act on it.

Now we're done!: Sorry if this was harsh, but that's my full review on To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts! I'd love to hear if you agree with me or think that I'm totally wrong! If you've read the manga, tell me if it's better or worth a read! And thanks for reading!

(The crossed-out "Hugh"s are all of the times that I got Hank's name wrong! I'm not super great with character names, but I always take it as a bad sign when I screw up the name. )

#anime #mappa #studio mappa #to the abandoned sacred beasts #to the abandoned sacred beasts anime #review #anime review

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