#guys pay attention to my queen I'm begging

[just-trying-my-best-everyday]

I think we are way too chill about Lan Fan. "She's sixteen. She cut off her own arm and waded through dirty sewers right after. She recovered from automail surgery in six months, a shorter time than the main character of the series, who previously held the record for shortest recovery period. She took on not one, not two, but THREE immortal beings and came out alive from every encounter. She cut off her own arm. She blew up a town in her first appearance. She blushed a lot. She cut off her own arm. She was the key to a more important character accomplishing his goal. She was arguably the most loyal character out of a giant cast of hyperloyal characters. She cut off her own arm.

[l0v-ly-c4t]

Daisuke headcannons :3

Summary: Just a quick Daisuke headcannon since he's my newest obsession, and I am too lazy to finish the imagine I'm writing

Pairing: headcannon

Tw: none!

A/n: Sorry, this is trashy, I literally wrote this at 2 am. Half asleep, half counciouss. I am planning on posting more, but I just don't have that much time 😞

Navigation - masterlist

━━ ❝

First of all, he wouldn't even KNOW he has a crush on you until late

He would just think of you as his prettiest friend or something like this

Once he realizes his feelings, he would do anything for you, even more than he already did

He pays so much attention to what you say. NO ONE can convince me this man doesn't have adhd and uses all his willpower to stay in the conversation and to hear everything you say correctly without distractions

He would ABSOLUTELY buy you flowers and chocolate when you guys have a date out

Just LOVES to hear you laugh at his jokes, it makes his day 100X better!!

"Do you love me?" "Yes I love you"

*2 seconds later*

"Do you still love me?"

His love languages are DEFINATLY fisical touch and acts of service.

He would just NEED to have some part of his body touching some part of your body ALL THE TIME!

He would poke you just to get you to look at him, put his head on your shoulder like a clingy cat, and beg for attention. I DARE YOU to deny it for him. You would have to deal with the biggest drama queen ever.

He would take such good care of you! Especially in the aftercare, this man is the sweetest. He just loves to be useful, so he would just do anything for you. Need water? He gets it for you. Wanna eat some sweet? He goes grocery shopping for you. Want a specific kind of cheese that's only produced in the Himalaia and isn't exported to the rest of the world? He's already on the plane, baby!

The best scenario ever for him is to give you a massage. He gest to touch you and do something for you AT THE SAME TIME? No one can convince this man this isn't heaven.

"Daisuke, can you pleas-" RIGHT AWAY MA'AM!!"

This man is not able to decide whether he wants to be the big spoon or the little spoon, so he just lays on top of you like he's trying to suffocate you.

His goal is to have a cat with you. He would spend his whole salary on pet toys and tasty things for it. He would name it Lino :3

This man is DEFINATLY a sweet food person. Give him spicy food, and he would faint right away.

You can't get away from him. He's the clingiest of the clingy boyfriend society.

F/n: Sorry, this was small and rushed, I'm planning on posting more Daisuke content later.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/16/2024

how your backyard hurricane go, the houston area? pretty good it doesn't seem

to be clear other than losing everything in my fridge and developing some mold around the windowframes IM personally fine and so are the girls and so is the lair. we lost power sunday afternoon and got it back friday morning (upside down smiley emoji x16)

listening

THREE CANONICALLY BISEXUAL CLUB BANGERS!!! also, trying out a new thing with spotify and youtube videos for songs bc my readership is about 70/30 and i want to streamline the process of actually listening to new music for ppl. it must be really annoying this week but that's bc there's three songs. sorry. it will rarely be this long

anyway.

ANXIETY by Lilyisthatyou is new to me, off the spotify autogenerated dance playlist. a chiller groove in the spelling-things-out genre of dance music. VERY flashy-lights music vid fyi

Why do I feel so alone? Does it show That I'm dancing to fill the void with pretty girls and pretty boys?

i know about kesha's joyride bc i happen to be an alive queer woman. im SO happy kesha is also alive and making music more regularly. this one is canonically bisexual bc kesha is bisexual. also a really flashy-lights lyric video. the most classically recession-pop/early KESHA sound of all three tuesdaysongs this week. im always fascinated when an accordion shows up.

Rev my engine ’til you make it purr Keep it kinky, but I come first Beep-beep, bitch, I'm outside Get in, loser, for the joyride

thank u new releases spotify playlist. also canonically bisexual bc the singer is, also an early KESHA feel but she is a metal artist first and foremost. very fun to headbang to at a stop light. i don't totally Love how it's an emasculating song but given how dudes in the metal scene generally are? i think she should make it more emasculating actually

Take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg) If you're a macho man then beg (And beg and beg and beg) Bend you over the bed (The bed the bed the bed) It's time to take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg)

-

reading

fun fact i still haven't seen this movie. i got this from the library the day before the hurricane proper and it gave me a really lovely two hours of not thinking about the active hurricane the day after. enormous format photographs! full-length shots of every look! ithe little personal notes from each designer were so fun to read, and i think this genuinely healed my heart a little. everyone was so excited to go into detail about what choices they made and what inspired them, and even though i would have loved more specific construction details, specific fiber types, and full-length shots of the Back of every look, i recognize i am a freak.

-

watching

watched a truly bonkers assortment of films at my bestie's house this week. her husband is big into godzilla and i sat down not really paying attention or planning to pay attention to Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024, dir. Wingard) but found myself actually paying attention. i unfortunately was a character i hate, Person Who Stops The Movie Halfway Through To Demand A Recap. loved these guys, whatever the fuck they were

the most fun thing about this movie is that it is not a silent film but it acts like one. there are long, long stretches of movie without dialogue bc all the political action is happening between a bunch of giant monkeys. this is going to sound like im damning it with faint praise but they really thought carefully about directorial and artistic choices here! there was a vision and they executed it! it's fun to look at and not just because there's a big monkey in most of the shots!

-

playing

got a look at characters for the new fire-themed land coming up this fall. ppl are understandably big mad that the land is based on Ring of Fire cultures and everyone is paper-white. i think it is correct to be mad and ask them to do better, and they have tweaked designs before release before, however, i don't think this will bring about a sea change in gacha games.

i am rolling along clearing out map markers and achievement hunting and my GOD are there a lot of time-gated achievements in inazuma (electricity-themed legally-not-japan). so so so many of them i originally got halfway through or did 1/5 and then wandered off bc i didn't realize there was a quest or achievement locked behind doing something for three or five days in a row. i now have a post-it on the corner of my monitor with nine different things i have to keep checking in on this week. please someone give me a REAL JOB!!!!!!

-

making

cross stitch progress. this was the only thing i did last week aside from shake like a chihuahua and sleep. very slow going! may have to ship the package off to my brother with an IOU bc it is already stressfully late.

made the bean influencer soup (creamy miso coconut butter beans). i made a batch before the hurricane last week so most of my notes are from then. the grocery did not have canned butter beans so i made the same thing (big lima beans) from dry. i have not made beans from dry since i was very small. these beans were so large, so pale, so aggressive.

changes: i was able to find a little carton of straight coconut cream at the grocery but they were out of miso paste. i did have miso soup mix and plopped that in. i also used frozen spinch bc it’s cheaper and i felt better about it than the somewhat questionable fresh spinch on offer. also used two onions instead of one and a hearty dollop of minced jarred garlic bc who do u think i even fucking am. i would have loved to use fresh dill, bc i did plant some and it was growing very well, but the caterpillars were very intense and ate almost everything on my balcony.

going in the rotation! im making it AGAIN as im typing up this post! pretty cheap, very tasty, i don't regularly keep butter beans or coconut cream in my pantry but that can change!

[bloodypeachblog]

You got any daddy Sammy Headcanons?

You fucking bet I do!

Sammy Lawrence headcanons

(This is with F!Reader, btw)

~~~♡♡♡~~~

• Sometimes his personality when he was human can show when something doesn't go right or his way or he's just annoyed. He can be a real asshole when he's like that. But if he upsets you, he would apologize later.

• the instance you responded to his 'can I get an amen?' tape with an 'amen', he fell for you almost instantly. He knew that his savior has blessed him with you, you had to be his bride. He waits til you fall asleep and he carries you to his room. You're his now.

• the songs he writes for you? Oh so lovely and romantic. He even plays them on his banjo and sings them for you.

• when he likes you, he can get a bit flustered and tongue-tied at times. When you've been together for a long time, he gets a bit better with that, but his inky heart still flutters when he sees you and hears your voice.

• if you can't sleep, he would sing you a lullaby or tell you a story from his bible (he wrote one where it's basically the christian bible, but Bendy is Jesus) until you fall asleep.

• he lets you join him on his searches for sacrifices and sometimes lets you choose their fates. They'll still die, but you get to choose how they die.

• Total. Drama. Queen. But not in a way that'd make you hate him, more in the way where you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

• guy's mind is stuck in the 1920-1930's, so if you show him something like, an iPhone, or you dress in modern clothing, his brain would probably implode.

• he LOVES listening to you read passages from his bible during sermons. He just marvels your words and pays very close attention. You could see a big smile though his mask.

• the same goes vice versa, he speaks with such energy and dedication and he smiles to himself when he sees you're just so enthralled by his preaching.

• basically when he speaks about you, he's exactly how Gomez Addams talks about Morticia. He ADORES you.

• "I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss." "To think, Lord Bendy has blessed me with such a beautiful angel such as yourself." "To live without you, only that would be death." "I cannot see, I am blinded by such beauty."

• pet names: Darling, Love, Angel, my little lamb, my sweet, Dear, Dearest.

♡NSFW♡

• master of seduction. Just, pure incubus skills. His soft voice makes you melt, and he knows it.

• oh he is all for foreplay. He wants his little pet to be ready for him.

• his cock is about 6 inches and pretty thick, but that's thanks to the blessings of the ink.

• *psst!* if he wanted, he could grow two of them to double-penetrate you, but he'll immediately pass out once he cums because it takes twice the energy, so he doesn't do it often.

• he wouldn't exactly whisper dirty words, but the way he phrases things...

• "don't be afraid, it's what our Lord wishes. We wouldn't want to disappoint him, now would we?" "You're so wet for me, how sweet.." "I'm so blessed that you're mine.." "You're doing so well, love..." "Just relax and let us share this bliss that our Lord has blessed us with." "Perhaps Lord Bendy will bless us with little sheep of our own tonight.."

• kinks? Well...he does like tying you up nice and tight. Can't let the little lamb run off, can he? No, he cannot. He has a praise kink, where he just loves to praise you for being such a good little wife.

• he LOVES to tease you and make you beg for him. The grin and deep chuckle he lets out from hearing your begs will make you melt.

• he'll make sure you cum a few times before he does. You'll be putty in his hands when he's done with you.

• yes, he cuddles you during the afterglow. He also whispers loving words into your ear, making sure you feel loved and cherished, because you are.

[fragileizywriting]

bear with me okay here's an idea (it's not necessarily original, but just. let me have this okay)

kitty and luka have been best friends since birth, really. luka is the prince of [hhhhhhhhhuuhmmmm. uh.] and he needs to find a partner. anarka is deadset on him getting someone to help him out rule, because he's more of a sailor than an actual prince, and lord knows she won't rule this country because she's also more of a sailor than actual queen.

meanwhile kitty is the most aquaphobic person in the world. boats are fine, they're great, but she's kitty— just like a cat, she's a land animal, and luka teases her all the time about it. there's not a single moment that she's on his ship does he not throw her overboard just to hear her scream out explicitives in his direction before climbing back on board like a pathetic wet cat.

(she always throws him overboard as a compensation.)

so there's a giant festival for luka to find someone. very cinderella-like. kitty follows behind on every single part of the festival, following behind luka as a right-hand-man(kitty) and the two of them are kind of dreading the whole thing. luka thinks this is way too much, anarka's just telling him to find someone that won't immediately blow up the country (surely there's someone that isn't going to try to stage a coup) and get on with doing what he actually wants which is sailing; kitty meanwhile just doesn't like the idea of all these girls (and guys!) giggling behind their hands and blushing whenever luka passes by.

he's not a prince charming, okay. he's some dude. she's watched him attempt to eat a whole hard-boiled egg in one swallow and she's watched the result of him spitting it across the table. this is the man who claimed he'd eat his own leather boots if he really needed to in an emergency and she'd watched him attempt to nibble on his shoe laces and proceed to throw up in the nearest flower pot. she's seen him walk into doors and go so quiet when she's reading a book and he's staring at her like she's reading a completely different language. he knows his way around a map and a compass better than a dance floor. she pities the poor dumbass who thinks prince luka knows how to dance. those poor toes... forget glass, whoever dances with him better have some steel-toed shoes.

one of the advisors that's slowly been culling out prince luka's potential suitors came from three kingdoms over just so there wouldn't be that much of a bias. they're still keeping an eye on him to make sure he's not trying to stage a coup by putting someone specific in the listing. kitty in particular has been paying so much attention that the adivosr takes it the wrong way and assumes that she's giving him the adhd glare because of other reasons— on the final round, for whatever reason kitty is put in the line. she's panicking. no amount of her saying "wait no, no, i'm not— hold on, you can't be serious," gets the advisor to listen. she tries to escape through the doors but the guards find it funny and refuse to let her budge. they think it's a prank. the advisor has no idea who she is. she barters with one of the guards— kim— to let her go and she'll get him a shot with one of the girls who had passed by recently and got let out because she was annoying.

no dice.

she's pulled right back in line. arguing and bickering, threatening to open every thread and suture on anyone's clothes who touches her and puts her back.

prince luka comes by just in time to see her standing there in line, bug-eyed, face hotter than anything in the world.

he looks at her.

keeps staring.

brows scrunched.

trying not to piss himself laughing.

she is shaking her head like she's begging god to not let this happen.

"i've found my partner," luka announces, and by the strength of willpower alone, kitty is not giving into the urge to tackle him and shut him up. "she's beautiful, and i know without a doubt she's smart. there's no one better than her. i choose her."

[fantasticalleigh]

June 21st 2024 Friday Night Smackdown photos + thoughts

I've been so excited for this show! Too bad it was so hot because by the end I was pretty sweaty but overall it was such a good show omfg

Including some photos but they all came out like ass bc my phone is so old and I was more concerned with being in the moment.

We got there a bit late and were still in the merch line when the show started. When we finally found our seats it was nearly 7pm and Tozawa's Speed title match was already ending. I forgot who he was up against tbh.

Punk opened up the show of course and gave a really good promo about Chicago and his rivalry with Drew. Everyone was eating it up. Personally I have a love/hate relationship with Punk so I still found it entertaining but wasn't cheering for him exactly. he mocked Drew and I've been calling it since Clash and since Punk announced he was gonna attend this Smackdown that I believed Drew was gonna show up and get revenge, just didn't know when. Paul Heyman interrupts Punk's promo to warn him to leave bc even though he's off limits to the Bloodline that they wouldn't be afraid to go after him. And then Paul begs Punk to take him with him :'( Poor man needs a break. They had a long hug. it was really hard to hear what paul was saying most of the time because of how loud the 'we want roman' and 'fuck you solo' chants were. solo interrupted the promo and the boos got so freaking loud i didn't hear a word of what he said. when the bloodline tried advancing on punk we saw cody running out from behind the front row to help punk and everyone went nuts.

(the groups of guys behind and beside me had the funniest commentary running all through the show to the point that sometimes i either couldn't hear or pay attention to what was going on in the ring. also, the sound at the Allstate Arena is absolute TRASH and sometimes you just couldn't hear a word that was being said when backstage promos were being shot so everyone just sat in annoyed silence until the volume was finally raised.)

i'm not gonna go over every single thing in the 'episode' that happened bc that would make this way too long and it's really late so i'm just writing about highlights

Bianca vs. Michin vs. Chelsea Green for Money in the Bank was super fun. Everyone was cheering for Bianca and Chelsea mostly but the crowd definitely popped when Chelsea stole the pin. I love her and really hoped she would get Queen of the Ring but I'm happy with this win and happy with Nia as Queen. Chelsea imo is amazing to watch bc she's doing amazing character work as the self-centered/egotistic/entitled/hot and bratty "spicy margarita" character she is. She's just so damn funny and I'm glad we get to see more of her.

All the Bloodline stuff--yet another member has joined the chat. Tbh i really don't care that much about the Bloodline and never have but at this point I'm cheering for Roman to come back along with everyone bc I don't think Solo Sikoa is all that impressive yet. Idk. He may grow on me. But every time Solo or Tama Tonga were out everyone started booing or shouting 'we want Roman'. Which says plenty. We also got to see a lot of Randy and KO tonight which was really great bc i love them and they're truly out there being the defenders of Smackdown any time the Bloodline pulls their cheating bs. The guys behind me were calling Solo "Temu Roman" which was hilarious. Jacob debuting today looked rad as hell and already a huge threat (possibly a greater one than Solo imo) and apparently he's a big deal in indie wrestling so I'm interested in seeing what he brings to the table.

Bayley was on screen for like ten seconds :(

Andrade was great but for some reason I don't really connect with him so I end up sort of tuning out whenever he's on. I feel bad about it but idk, I feel like he doesn't have a truly distinctive character yet that would actually make me interested in him but all his looks are nice at least.

Randy vs. Carmelo vs. Tama Tonga:

Great match. Melo also taking that win was unexpected but considering he's had mostly losses since his debut this is a good thing. Plus I got a (BAD) photo of Randy doing The Thing before the match and I think that's neat.

(every time i see the MITB briefcases i quietly sing to myself "I got money in the BAYank" from that T-Pain song)

also got this hilarious pic of Randy who looks like a lion pouncing on Mello who looks like a frightened gazelle running away lol

for possibly my favorite part of the night:

MY MANS GOT HIS VENGEANCE.

when this happened in the middle of Grayson Waller's promo (can we talk about how GOOD that shot was??? with the garage door pulling up to do the reveal??) everyone lost their shit and started booing Drew. I was grinning ear to ear bc i fucking CALLED IT. Though i'd hoped we'd have actually gotten to see it happen and not only the aftermath. this is a very shit pic but drew + the cameraperson walked all the way from backstage to the entry and drew just fucking tossed Punk off his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. it was hot. it was wrong and it was wild. the people of chicago cried out in absolute outrage and the boos rained down. look at your god now, i would have said if i had the courage (and lung capacity) he is a mortal like us, he brought this on himself, and he ain't shit.

i was too busy cheering to notice drew taking punk's bracelet? watch? idk. it looked shiny and silver. and then he left without a word but backstage argued with Nick Aldis and others before storming off. absolute cinema. everyone was still booing and i raised my plastic margarita jar in a toast to my beloved Scotsman.

(i'd really been hoping to hear his music live again tho)

at one point at the end of a match i sprang out of my seat and ran to the bathroom because i believed we were on a commercial break. commercials were playing on the screens, after all. i had literally just started washing my hands when i heard ~~L. A. KNIGHT~~ and then the music and i started swearing because i missed his entrance :( i was so annoyed lmao. (I was wearing black lipstick and the Judgement Day spiked vest and when i walked in a woman exiting at the same time saw me and said "Mami!" and it was great lol) (there were a lot of signs for rhea tonight btw we miss her!!!) anyway i got back to my seat while Knight was still in the ring but Logan Paul had just shown up and knocked him out and that sucked lmao for some reason I was sure they were actually going to fight tonight?? guess i was wrong. the guys next to me were cheering for logan, no shame do what you want but bleghhhhh

Cody did two appearances. first when he came out in his corporate attire and then again for his match with Solo. everyone sang his theme with gusto, and it was a pleasure to actually know the words this time. the pyro was WILD. and imo there was too much fog coming from it to the point the arena got noticeably hotter after the pyro went off. i was wearing a mesh shirt and i was still pretty sweaty. everyone did the WOAH. i think cody was wearing his Mania fit so it was really cool to see it again; his costumes are the best in the WWE rn and no one else comes close. at least not in the men's division. the match itself was kinda disappointing with how quickly it was disqualified bc of the bloodline's bs. not that i expected there to be a title drop or anything then and there but it all happened so quickly and i was so annoyed that when jacob came out i was sort of checked out. obvs i wondered who he was but there was no name card on the screens or anything so i was lost until i checked the subreddit later. cody got his ass beat and even tho randy and KO tried to help the bloodline still won and ended the episode and everyone booed them.

was it good tv though? absolutely. i feel lucky to have been there and seen it all live. this is only my second live WWE show and i'm hooked. i can't wait to watch the episode and hear the commentary.

after the cameras stopped rolling The Awesome Truth came out and everyone fucking lit up when Mix and R Truth came out singing their song and everyone was super into it, screaming 'WHAT'S UP?' back to Truth. tbh after the way the main event match went it was a perfect pick me up to end the night and it got our energy back up immediately. then the Judgement Day came out and the boos came out again for Dominik and JD (but mostly Dom). i was there in my dorky lil spiked vest cheering my babies on. it was a great fucking match, super entertaining and they were absolutely feeling the energy. Miz and Dom were having a contest throughout trying to get the loudest crowd response and Miz was raising his arms getting us to build up to it and then Dom tried getting us on his side but when we didn't or just booed him he more or less flipped us off without actually giving the bird lol. he also took a bottle of Prime and tasted it, only to spit it back out in disgust which actually earned him a few cheers and several shouts of "fuck Prime!!" i may have seen it from the wrong angle but it did also look like he wiped the bottle on his butt before tossing it away. R Truth did the five knuckle shuffle and everyone got hyped and screamed the you can't see me thing and then he did it again with Miz and then they did their tag team finisher. idk the name for it but it's the dancey in sync move they do. it's adorable and i love them so much. but back to the match, all of them were fantastic and of course Awesome Truth won, but at one point when it was quiet enough i yelled out "YOU SHOULD'VE LET R-TRUTH JOIN THE JUDGEMENT DAY" and a few people laughed which felt really good lmao.

and after the match ended and everyone was clapping, Miz asked for a mic and told us (and this is very paraphrased and relying on my memory) that he 'doesn't get to do this often' and he isn't used to being cheered so much so this was really great and he was thankful to chicago for that. we cheered extra loud for that and then they left and it was over.

i'm still newish to the wwe universe but i know Miz was a world champ not that long ago. i haven't seen much of that run and i always thought he was a very likable character for all his faults so hearing that he wasn't used to being cheered broke my heart a little bc i like him a lot.

anyway it was amazing overall and i really hope they come back again soon. when i went to RAW in march they gave us all a promo code for early access tickets for this show, but this time there wasn't one, to my knowledge.

after tonight i now have a cody rhodes shirt, a deeper love for wrestling, and a new friendship bracelet. i have a ton that i made for myself a while back and a couple given by friends/family. i wore them all today and after the show while waiting for my brother near the merch line a woman came up to me and asked if i wanted to swap bracelets. i was like :o i didn't know people did that here!! and she said a few do, that she'd given a couple away already and luckily i'd just made an 'omg it's cody rhodes' and a rhea ripley one the night before so i happily gave her the rhea one and she gave me a 'mami's always on top' bracelet in return and just like the Judgement Day bracelet my dear @rogueimperator got me for my birthday, i will treasure them forever <3 i should have asked for her name tbh but thank you kind stranger! now i need to make more for next time :)

a lot of people were also very sweet about my goth look for the night--i was trying to channel Rhea for sure lol but my black lipstick was rubbing off everywhere and i was so sweaty because of the vest and boots lol--not a good choice for a 90 degree day but we're all doing our part to hasten Rhea's hasty return, right??? a bit of sweat is no problem in the long run.

[dollsonmain]

Today I should rest and spend time with myself but there's too much to do.

I need to look for insurance some more, shower, catch up on chores, get ready to go get groceries/make the list....

Yesterday I remembered something.

So, I get up really early in the morning in the hopes of getting a little time to myself with the quiet.

On weekdays That Guy gets up at 4 and so do I. I make sure I'm up and out of bed, downstairs, drinking my coffee before he gets out of the shower so he doesn't come kneel down and try to stick his dick in my face every morning.

He leaves at 5.

Then, if I'm lucky, Son will stay in bed until 6 but he usually gets up at 5 because That Guy stomps and slams and insists on having a conversation or giving me a lecture first thing in the morning when I'm not even awake, yet.

This morning it was "Our son doesn't know some specific information which is not available to him and he's disrespecting me by not having this information that doesn't exist can you figure it out but don't tell him you're figuring it out behind his back because I want him to do it even though he can't." Again.

Son leaves at 7.

On the weekends I often wake up around 5 or 5:30 and try to sneak out of bed

Usually, Son is already awake and he gets up as soon as he hears me moving around in the house. He starts immediately with noise videos, noisy apps, transcribing music, etc. and he talks the whole time. Louder, and louder, and louder with the occasional "Dad's asleep, still, watch your volume [because I'd like him to stay that way]" from me.

Often That Guy is woken up by me getting out of bed and also gets up because he's suddenly Alone and that's unacceptable.

Yesterday, I was up and trying to work on something on the computer, Son got up and started in but I've gotten pretty good at both engaging with him and continuing to work, then That Guy got up and demanded my full attention constantly.

I snapped at him a bit saying I was busy and leave me alone, which I feel bad about, but if I'm sitting in front of a screen, typing, with multiple resource tabs open, actively researching and processing information, I don't need a play-by-play of every fart, the fact the house is cold like every winter, and what he's eating/drinking, and are you still working are you still working are you still working I want to play video games and you have to watch.

...

It reminded me of a time at my grandma's house when my aunt and I were still young. My aunt is 5 years younger than I am, so we are close in age.

Grandma put us to bed in her bed, which was a queen, and my aunt kept scooting over so she was basically on top of me. I told her to move and give me space, but she wouldn't.

I got up and went to the other side of the bed repeatedly in the night and every time she'd scoot over on top of me again.

Eventually I took a blanket into the living room to sleep on the couch, and she followed me there, too.

In the morning I complained to grandma and she said I was being mean and my aunt just wanted to cuddle and be close to me.

What I needed didn't matter.

-

That persists. It doesn't matter that I need time to myself. I'm expected [by That Guy] to pay attention to Son at all times and to pay attention to That Guy at all times.

The only time I get truly to myself is very early in the morning if I'm lucky enough the boys stay in bed, or for about an hour at night because I go to bed earlier than everyone else on purpose.

This is why I call Monday my recovery day, but I don't get Monday, either. Monday is groceries day.

Even if I try going down to the basement, That Guy starts stomping around overhead as hard as he can, just to remind me he's up here, he's Alone, I'm not doing what he wants me to do, and he's bored.

It doesn't matter how much I beg the people around to please, please just get off of me.

It's very frustrating.

-

Anyway, that's all part of why I'm so hard focused on the basement right now, I guess.

Desperately trying to regain control of literally anything, trying to find a quiet place where I can breathe, trying to feel human again.

[novaauster]

chapter 1 of Trial Class the aftg bjj au fic under the cut

Tags: Alternate Universe-- Jiu-Jitsu, Trans Neil Josten, because if your bjj gym does not have transmasc rep you’re doing something wrong, Autistic Kevin Day, because if your bjj gym does not have autistic rep you’re Really doing something wrong,  Crack Treated Seriously, i did not intend to write so much bullshit about bjj but here i am

In the end notes I have my notes on each characters’ belt rankings, my reasoning for why they would be at that level, and their main skills if you find that stuff interesting. 

Neil ducks into an unmarked door of a cinderblock building, his heart pounding. He knows he was being followed. He doesn't know by who, or how many people, or under whose orders, and he doesn't want to find out.

He's greeted by a rickety staircase that announces his arrival step by step. Creak. Creak. Feeling like a kid in an antique Baltimore home. Bad music leaks up through the floor from the basement, not too loud but instantly recognizable as the kind of stuff they played on MTV a decade ago.

At the bottom of the staircase is a dude about his age in a plain blue martial arts gi, and maybe Neil should pay attention to his scowl, or his brown belt, or his height-- but instead he zeroes in on the face tattoo. A chess piece, the queen.

"No one signed up for a trial class today," the guy says flatly.

"That's fucking disrespectful," Neil says.

The guy blinks, then crosses his arms across his chest. "What is?"

Neil steps down a few more stairs to show he's not intimidated by this poser. "Getting Kevin Day's tattoo. He didn't get it to look tough."

"I am Kevin Day."

Sure, he looks a little like Kevin Day. He has the eyes, and the jawline, and the wrist brace, but he can't be Kevin Day. He can't be the man whose tournament footage Neil has tracked down over the course of years and scrupulously watched until he memorized every single move. "Oh yeah? And what's Kevin Day doing in a shithole like this?"

"Training," says Kevin Day.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Neil locks down his expression, tries his level best not to start begging for mercy, and gets close enough to shake Day's hand. It’s the fastest, most perfunctory handshake he has ever experienced, and Neil notices that they're at eye level while Neil is still standing on the final stair. "I'm here to sign up for my trial class."

“Alright, uh, gym rules.” Kevin gestures towards the framed list, up on the wall beside the famous portrait of Hélio Gracie, all stern with his red belt blending into the red flag background: Jiu-Jitsu Da Guanabara, the first federation of jiu-jitsu schools. There’s also a display of belts in order: white, blue, purple, brown, black. Only five levels. Neil has always found it beautifully simple. “Number one, shoes off when on the mat, shoes on when off the mat.”

Somebody has scratched out Rule Number One and scrawled “Dogs out” in its place, but Kevin is ignoring it so Neil figures it doesn’t mean anything. 

“Number two, proper attire. That means belts tied all the time, even in no-gi, for safety. That also means wear your gi for a gi class, Nicky!” Kevin abruptly shouts the end of that sentence towards the people already on the bright orange mats.

Orange is a weird color for mats. They tend to be gray, or in the Ravens’ case, black, but the explanation for the design choice is tacked up above the rule list: The Foxhole Gym, it reads in Canva font, and underneath adds Gracie Palmetto.

A young man on the mats dutifully wearing his blue belt, albeit overtop nothing but a tight rashguard and obscenely small fighting shorts, replies “You’ll never take me alive!”

“You’re lucky we have a trial class or I’d force you into the orange gi.”

“Oh the horror! You wouldn’t do that to me!”

Kevin turns back to Neil. “Stay away from Nicky. He’s trouble. Rule three, respect the tap. Tap when you’re done, let go when they’re done-- but you won't be tapping anyone out.” He goes behind the front desk and retrieves a clipboard and pen, as well as a folded gi. “Rule four, sign the waiver.”

It’s The Orange Gi, which Nicky had been so horrified by. Neil takes the whole stack and tells himself that it isn’t that bad, it even smells like laundry detergent, but it really is garishly neon. 

“That’s the only spare we have,” Kevin says. “Beggars, choosers. If you come back get your own and get a Gracie patch on it, rule five. Six, sign in before class and don’t be late. Seven, personal hygiene, don’t be disgusting. Eight, no jewelry, no glasses, no unbound long hair, hearing aids on a case-by-case basis. For safety. Nine, get a white stripe before standing up while rolling and a red stripe to roll at all. The rest is self explanatory.”

There are four more rules on the list. Neil reads them. “I’ll just get changed, then.”

“Changing rooms’ to the left.” They are two open doorways to the left, neither of which are labeled.

Neil hesitates.

“Just pick one, they both have stalls.” For a second Neil’s sure that Kevin Day just clocked him, but then he continues “I’m ninety percent certain that Nicky removed the signage on a dare from Allison but they will not confirm, deny, or tell me why. They say I have to learn what a ‘transgender’ is. Do you know?”

“Uh,” Neil says.

“I will not google it. I have learned that the internet is not my friend.”

“Dictionary?”

“You think it is in a dictionary? Half the words these assholes use are not defined in it.” Rule twelve, Neil remembers. No foul language. “What is rizz, I ask and find no answer. What is skibidi. They have no respect.”

“Pretty sure it’s in any dictionary printed in the last twenty years,” Neil says.

“If you say so. Regardless, if I find proof of whoever pulled this outlandish prank they will be fighting a Ten-Round Tuesday with me and I will be grinding shoulder pressure into their face the entire time and finally grant mercy in the form of a d’arce choke. Mark my words!”

“Yes Coach,” Nicky yells back. 

Wow, Keil thinks. Kevin Day is a total freakshow. Good thing I’m the normal one here. Out loud, he says “Why ten rounds with you? Why not, for example, that guy?” He points at the scariest guy in the room.

Now, if Neil has experience in anything, it’s in determining who is the scariest person in the room. It isn’t the strongest one, because all of them look like college-age athletes who are strong as hell. It isn’t the biggest guy (blue belt, two stripe, spiked hair) or the highest ranked (Kevin, and then a purple belt, one stripe, pink gi). It’s all in the eyes. It’s a blond blue belt, approximately 160 pounds, 5’0, black gi and long black rashguard covering as much skin as possible. 

Kevin looks where Neil is pointing. “Oh, Andrew? No. I am trying to punish them, not injure them for life.”

“I see.”

“Class starts five minutes. Get changed.”

Neil picks a changing room at random, glad to find it empty. In a locked stall he switches out his binder for the sports bra in his backpack, suspecting that he’ll need the extra lung capacity, and changes out his white t-shirt for the closest thing he has to a rashguard, a black polyester shirt that’s slightly too small. It reads Charlotte Día De Los Muertos 5K, and it may be stolen, but considering that he had both run five kilometers through a graveyard and almost become one of the muertos via stab wound, he feels he has the right to it.

He pulls the gi pants on over his running shorts, tying the drawstring tight high on his waist because otherwise he’d be stepping on excess fabric. The sleeves flop halfway over his palms.

Nothing for it. Today is a good day. Not only has he escaped the people following him without having to call up his uncle, at least for now, he’s also getting a class with Kevin Fucking Day. And maybe Kevin Fucking Day is a little bit… off, but he’s still, Neil’s sure, a genius. 

Neil leaves the changing room with his blank, borrowed white belt tied as best he can. He sets his backpack in the cubbies, which creak under the weight, in view of the mats so he’ll always have an eye on it. In the cubby beside him are knives. 

“Your belt is tied wrong. Ask somebody to help you with it,” Kevin says, taking Neil’s signed waiver. “Neil Hatford,” he reads of the paper. “Oh. I never asked your name.”

“I never offered it.” Neil’s used to skirting around that part of conversations. He’d run out of names if he gave them up so easily. 

“Well. Introductions. Everybody who comes to lunchtime class is already on the mats. Closest to us are Allison and Dan. Allison is in mount.”

Allison, purple belt, pink gi. Neil vaguely recognizes her, he thinks, from skimming past internet discourse. People like to accuse her and her Youtube channel of teaching bullshit self-defense, but she never claimed to be a self-defense teacher. She teaches pure jiu-jitsu and never claimed to be a full coach, it’s not her responsibility to tell people how to dodge a punch. “Allison Reynolds?”

“Then you should know of Dan Wilds,” Kevin says as Allison pins Dan’s arm down on the mat, steps her knee over it, and maneuvers the other arm into mounted triangle position, leaning down over it to close the choke until Dan taps. They switch positions and run through it again.

“I don’t,” Neil admits.

“You will.” Kevin does not elaborate. “You are aware of Nicky. Bantamweight beside him is Aaron. The two mountains are Matt and Seth. Seth is the white belt but do not make the mistake of thinking he is on your level.”

Neil raises his eyebrows. Never meet your heroes, he thinks, and decides on saying “And what level is that?”

Kevin looks him up and down. “Novice, featherweight-- or bantamweight if you cut a few pounds-- and, unless you made a very particular visit to the pharmacist, women’s.” He says it like reciting a grocery list.

“Fuck you.”

“You asked. Which part of that was offensive?”

“Fuck. You.” Neil prepares to repeat himself in Portuguese and Japanese, but doesn’t get the chance. 

“And then those two vale tudo maniacs are Renee and Andrew.” At first Neil translates the term directly-- free for all-- and then colloquially-- no-holds-barred-- but he did read Rickson Gracie’s autobiography. Vale Tudo is a precursor to MMA, with no points, no timer, and yes, no holds barred, but it went well out of fashion by the 90’s. Kevin’s just using it as an expression. “Renee’s in-- well, she had an uchi-mata-- and there he goes--”

Renee’s back hits the mat with a gruesome smack, but she inverts into k-guard to bring Andrew down with her. Andrew disentangles himself from her legs in a scramble and then hauls her into side control, but doesn’t stay there, instead reaching deep into her lapel for a choke.

Renee uses the shift in balance to slip the choke though, getting her knee wedged in between them and wrestling up, holding a whizzer hook over Andrew’s arm like it’s the lever to the nuclear codes and letting it up would cause World War Three. He can’t take her back. He tries to tap her knee and force her over sideways but her base is too wide, he can’t reach. And normally one would underhook her far-side thigh and roll underneath, but he can’t even reach that far. 

So he shoves his hand under her near-side thigh instead and rolls. “I didn’t know you could do that,” Neil comments. 

The tournaments Neil has watched have fighters with, more or less, the same build, just at different weights. Jiu-jitsu is all about using leverage to cancel out what might be greater strength, but he’s never never seen anything focusing on accommodations for fighters that are short and fat like Andrew. 

Kevin’s watching the fight with his hands on his hips like an old man loitering at a construction site. “He likes to improvise,” the brown belt says. That confirms what Neil thought: Andrew made up that modification on the fly. “They’ll do this all day if I don’t stop them.”

“I could watch this all day,” Neil agrees.

“What?”

“What?”

Kevin calls Andrew’s name. The roll ends, abnormally quick for two people that were previously clinging to each other’s necks and clothing for dear life, and the two slap hands amicably. All of the lethal striking-snake energy seems to drain out of Andrew’s body. He walks glacially slow to the edge of the mat, shaking out each leg once before stepping into a pair of black flipflops. When he gets to Kevin’s side, he pulls a strand of Renee’s rainbow hair out of his mouth and flicks it onto the floor. 

“Are those knives,” Neil says to neither of them in particular and starts examining the knives in the adjacent cubby. They’re all fairly small, flat-handled, easily concealable but not cheaply made or rarely used. They look sharp. 

“They sure are,” says Andrew. Up close Neil notices that his rashguard extends up his neck and down his hands, held in place by holes at the thumbs almost like a medical brace. 

“Andrew,” says Kevin, very obviously wanting to change the topic. “Are you going to take him?”

“I can take him,” Andrew confirms cheerily. 

“For drills,” Kevin says. 

“I can take him for drills too, Coach.”

“I’m not your coach.”

“Who is?” Neil asks. “Whose gym is this?”

“He’s out for lunch right now, but David Wymack,” Kevin says, the way most people say Abraham Lincoln or Tetsuji Moriyama. Despite this obvious reverence from the Queen, Neil has never heard of him. 

“Stats?” he asks. “Lineage?”

“Who’s rude now,” Andrew says. “But if you were nice would you be any use?”

“It’s fine,” Kevin says. “Eight wins MMA, two TKO, five submission, one decision. One draw. One loss, by decision: DQ on injury by foul. You want height and weight class too?”

“What do proportions matter when I’m asking about qualifications?”

“Right answer,” says Andrew.

“Lineage Royce Gracie,” Kevin continues like he hadn’t heard Andrew. 

Well, Neil can’t argue with that. “Is that how you pronounce it? Hoyce?”

“Royce,” Kevin repeats. “Yes. You do a lot of reading.” And not much else, is the implication. A not entirely true implication, it’s just that Neil tends to fight for his life the way his mother taught him: with a gun. Uncle Stuart made sure he could make do with hand-to-hand, but that didn’t exactly mean paying for his gym subscription.

Neil lets it slide.

Kevin checks his watch, then starts removing it because of the No Jewelry rule. “Class.”

“What kind of class,” Andrew says.

Kevin thinks about it. “Cardio Class.”

The people on the mats apparently hear, because some grumbling rises up about how it isn’t even Saturday.

It can’t be that bad, Neil thinks as he toes off his sneakers and socks and steps onto the mats. At least it’s not Día De Los Muertos.

“Group punishment is against the Geneva Suggestion,” Andrew says.

“Geneva… suggestion?” Neil isn’t sure he heard that right.

Kevin ignores Neil. “You have to stop accusing me of war crimes on the internet and then telling me I have to work on my public image. It’s unprofessional.”

“Now, who said I was professional?”

“You work here. You teach the kids’ class.”

“I don’t accuse them of being war criminals.”

“I should fire you.”

Andrew shrugs. They walk over to the mats. “Your belt is tied wrong,” he says. 

“My belt is fine.”

“Nicky.” Nicky, blue belt, Trouble, looks up from his side splits. “His belt is tied wrong.”

“Is it my birthday,” Nicky says, smoothly pulling himself upright and prancing over. Up close, Neil sees that rashguard is emblazoned with the words Mexican Ground Karate over a sunset logo. He tugs Neil’s belt loose and attempts to tie it standing face-to-face with him, but it falls apart. “Shit, it’s backwards. I forget how…” He moves behind Neil and, looking over his shoulder, ties a sturdier knot with muscle memory. “That’s it.”

Neil nods but doesn’t thank him as he returns to his corner. 

The awful MTV music pauses, and Kevin sits in the center of the mat so everyone’s attention falls on him. “Circle up,” he says redundantly. “Announcements. The next person to leave their weed in the cubbies where the kids’ class can see it is signed up to Ten-Round Tuesday with me personally. Toro Cup is coming up. Get your tickets to see Renee and Dan fight. Gym’s closed next Monday for Coach’s birthday, show up to Abby’s house if you want to see him. And this is Neil, here for his free trial.”

“Hi, Neil,” the class drones.

“Hi.”

“Final announcement: it is Cardio Day. Everyone on your backs, leg circles.”

A couple people slap the mat as they fall backwards to circle their feet in the air. They then move their legs up and down, side to side, and bicycle style, and Neil is careful not to accidentally kick Andrew beside him. Once Neil’s abs start really burning, Kevin calls for everyone to bridge, first with both legs and then with one leg in the air. They then sit up and shift their knees pointing to one side and then the other, windshield wiper style, and stretch their backs by twisting behind them while they’re at it. 

“On your knees. Neck circles. Chin to chest. Chin to shoulder. Ear to shoulder. Hands to the mat, wrist circles. Fire hydrants-- I am once again asking why hip circles are called fire hydrants.”

Neil looks around and ends up meeting Andrew’s intense stare. ‘Nobody tell him,’ Andrew mouths. 

Neil nods.

“Reach through at your waist and twist overhead. Three reps then do the other side. Cat-cow. Alternating lunges. Feet together, elbows down, knees apart, hips to the mat. At least I understand why this is called the frog stretch.”

Neil is then subjected to the knowledge that everybody in the room, including Seth the mountain, has the hip flexibility of a professional gymnast. None of them even look strained. 

“Feet apart, hips back,” Kevin continues, which deepens the stretch and makes Neil feel distinctly like he’s about to dislocate both of his entire legs. “Hold it ten seconds. Stretch out anything else you need.”

Most people do back-stretching yoga pose or start touching their toes, but Andrew just starfishes back on the mat.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Neil says quietly to him.

“That was the pre-warmup.”

Oh, well. 

“Everybody up,” says Kevin, jogging to the edge of the mat. “Start running.”

Neil tracks the attitudes of the athletes, a range from Matt giving Dan a hand up with a ‘this might as well happen’ grin to Nicky lamenting “You can’t do this to me!” to Andrew staring at the ceiling like a character in the Office breaking the fourth wall. Neil has already done a lap around the mat, following close behind Kevin, before Andrew even gets to his feet.

Now, there is running, which Neil likes, and then there is whatever this is. Whatever this is, Neil learns very quickly, is different because he is barefoot, making him pay much more attention to where he steps even though he knows in theory that it’s safe. He’s also constantly turning to his right, running in circles, and the space is big enough for a much larger class than the ten people here but he still can’t get a good straight-ahead line going. It puts strain on his ankles. 

Neil laps Andrew for a second time. Andrew is doing a shuffling sort of run, so slow that the only thing separating it from walking is the springing motion. 

“High knees,” Kevin says. 

Fucking hell. Neil switches to high knees, forcing him to pay even more attention to where he’s stepping and where he has to turn, and just when he gets the hang of it, Kevin switches to butt kicks, which are even harder to balance with. 

“Drop and give me twenty push-ups,” Kevin orders. 

You’re joking, Neil thinks, dropping and doing push-ups as fast as he can to keep up before Kevin’s up and running again, and three laps later they’re doing jumping jacks. 

Neil has never before in his life felt like he is about to die while doing jumping jacks, and he has also never felt like eight other people want to kill him while doing jumping jacks. He adds that to the list. 

Then they’re facing inwards, sort of skipping sideways, then doing it facing outwards, and then alternating two inwards-skips and two outwards-skips which gets really complicated on the turns because he has to keep the rhythm steady while turning his entire body and also navigating the mat’s corners. He almost trips over his feet. 

“Line up on the edge of the mat,” Kevin says, finally coming to a stop. 

Neil hopes that’s a good thing, following Andrew to one of the lines beside the two punching bags, but that’s too much to wish for. They do forward rolls from standing twice down the mat, then backwards rolls twice down, then Keven demonstrates the basic and beloathed movement drill called shrimping in which he curls up on his side like a shrimp and pushes himself backwards with one foot, pivoting on his shoulder. “Twice down,” Kevin says again, “And if I see you getting up in the middle of the mat and walking back early I’ll make you shrimp backwards too.”

Neil figures that, after seeing Kevin’s example and making sure that Andrew goes ahead of him, the relatively simple movement will make sense. But once he’s actually laying on the mat, he feels like a beached fish, just sort of squirming around. He’s also motion-sick from the somersaults. He’s only made about two feet of distance when Andrew is walking back from his first round.

“Am I doing this right,” Neil says as Andrew is passing him.

“No,” Andrew says, and keeps walking.

“What am I doing wrong,” Neil calls after him.

“Get on your side.” Andrew slaps the mat as he falls down in front of the punching bags-- nobody ever seems to sit like a normal person, they all just tip backwards to get to the ground-- and in record time has reached Neil. 

“I am on my side.”

“No you’re not.”

“I think I would know if I was laying on my side or not.”

“Wrong.” Andrew sits up. “Your shoulders,” he says, and then grabs Neil’s shoulders, first pushing them flat down to the mat. “Your back. Your side.” He hauls Neil’s right shoulder up and pushes his left shoulder down until he is, admittedly, on his side. 

“Fine,” Neil grumbles. When he tries to shrimp again, he finds that he does actually cover more ground, as dumb as it looks. “I’ve never seen anyone shrimp in tournament footage,” he says.

“Yes the fuck you have?” Kevin, overhearing, walks over. “You might have an encyclopedic knowledge of what you think are jiu-jitsu moves, but there is a difference between moves and technique. The former are what you see. The latter is why they work, how one creates space so that they work. You remember Andrew and Renee’s roll? Had Renee not shrimped out to get to dogfight she would have been stuck in smash-half until she managed to catch a giggler or Andrew had advanced. Speaking of which, Andrew, good work forcing the whizzer on her end in order to sweep, it was a good reconfiguration of the sequence.”

Neil speaks five languages, but wonders if the fact that he could understand every word Kevin just said means he should count jiu-jitsu as a sixth. 

“Tournament footage,” Andrew mutters derisively. Neil suspects that the only time Andrew and Kevin really get along is when they’re bitching about someone else. “You’re worse than a junkie. You’re a fanboy.”

“And you’re taking too long,” Kevin adds. “Just line up after you reach the end of the mat.”

Neil grits his teeth and shrimps two more times, then looks behind himself to see how much ground he has left to cover. Andrew’s reached the end already and is walking back.

“That’s fine,” Kevin says. “Just stand up.”

Neil abandons the endeavor and stands up. Once he’s back in line, Kevin calls Matt up for his next movement-drill demonstration: Kevin sits on his knees, Mat lays on his back and puts his legs around Kevin’s waist, and then Kevin pulls Matt upright by his lapels and stands up, carrying him for three steps before setting him down. “Just once across this time, pair up. If you’re with an idiot like Nicky and don’t have lapels to grab onto, just get a collartie and make him hold a seatbelt.”

Allison, Dan, Renee, and Aaron suddenly become the most popular people in the room. Neil is closest in size to Aaron, but that doesn’t matter much because Andrew is already kneeling on the mat.

Neil tries to flop backwards onto the mat like he’s seen everyone do, but he mistimes the breakfall and ends up going oof. 

“Stop playing around and pull guard,” Andrew says, so Neil does, putting his legs around Andrew’s waist and pretending it’s not weird at all when he has to pull himself even further into Andrew’s lap in order to cross his ankles and lock into closed guard. Andrew pulls the lapels of Neil’s gi top open, grabs a deep grip in them, then just stands up.

It’s a test of strength for anyone in Andrew’s position, Neil’s sure, considering that they basically have to squat the weight of an entire other person, but he thinks it’s even more a test of balance. There’s no more considering whether it’s weird or not, instinct kicks in and Neil just starts clinging to Andrew’s back. 

“You’re not going to fall,” Andrew says.

“No, I know,” Neil lies. 

After taking the assigned three steps, Andrew sinks back down to his knees in a smooth motion that has to be harder than it feels. Not once does Neil sense any kind of lurching loss of balance. With a steady inhale, Andrew pulls Neil back up and stands again.

After three reps of that, they reach the edge of the mat, second place with only Kevin and Nicky beating them. “Legs down,” Andrew says, and Neil opens his guard just in time for Andrew to drop him.

“Dude,” Neil says, stumbling. 

“Well that’s one way to learn how to breakfall,” Nicky comments. “Don’t take it personally.”

“Sure.”

Then it’s Neil’s turn. 

It is unimaginably difficult. Even with Andrew’s arms over his shoulders so he doesn’t have to bother so much with the lapel grips, Neil can’t figure out which leg to start standing up with. As soon as he gets to one knee he’s falling to the side of the other one. 

“Do it slower,” Andrew says.

“I am going slowly. That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Neil snaps and steps up again, only to wobble and fall again.

“Wrong, that’s not slow.” Andrew is able to close his guard without getting as close as Neil had, since Neil’s so thin, but he pulls himself closer anyway and almost sits up, getting their centers of gravity as in-line as possible. “I don’t know if you noticed, but the secret to Cardio Day is to pace yourself, not to take what Kevin says literally.”

“We’re supposed to do what he says,” Neil argues. “He’s the coach.”

“No he isn’t, remember? Even if he was, it’s your training, not his. Try again.”

Neil, going what feels like comically slow, holds Andrew close and tries to stand up again. He gets to his feet this time and stops, muscles coiled like springs. 

“Exactly. Three steps.”

Neil takes one step forward. Then another. Then he lifts his foot off the mat and-- falls. Andrew opens his guard just in time to breakfall and catches the rest of Neil’s momentum so he doesn’t catch all the force in his wrists. 

Neil swears under his breath and tries again. It’s a little easier, and he gets to the three steps, but doesn’t kneel back down gracefully, just falls a little more predictably this time. 

Kevin comes over now that everybody else has, of course, reached the end of the mats and lined up again. “Just do it one more time.” 

Fucking fine. One foot up, pull Andrew to that side, other foot up, pull Andrew to the center, stand up, ignore the burning muscles of his thighs, take one lumbering step, than another, than a third, then “Legs down” and he drops Andrew exactly like he’d done to Neil.

“You’re supposed to kneel back down, not drop him,” Kevin says.

“I know.”

“Already everybody, off the mats, get some water, come back for drills,” Kevin says to the group at large. A couple of them brought water bottles, but the majority flock over to the water fountains. Neil is last in line because he’s the only one who has to sit down and put on his sneakers instead of just stepping into flipflops, and he gets the shorter water fountain that was almost certainly built so that the kids’ class can reach. 

It’s fine. Today is a good day.

Even the so-called drills, the class part of the class, aren’t straightforward. Kevin just tells everyone to “Drill whatever takedown entries you know, but don’t finish them. Two minutes and switch.” Everyone claps once, synchronized, before they pair up and start their takedowns. Kevin starts walking around and correcting people. 

Andrew stares at Neil. “Uh,” Neil says. “You go first.”

Andrew nods and then he’s all motion and Neil finally gets to feel the so-called vale tudo maniac he’d been with Renee. He grabs a collar tie, forcing Neil’s head down, and hooks his fingers in the outside of Neil’s sleeve, pulls him one way and then the other, forcing him to step forward, and then skids forward, hauling Neil’s leg up in his arms. “Single-leg,” he explains.

“I know what a single-leg is.”

“Then step back next time.” Andrew fights for grips again and gets them, pulls the same pull-sideways trick, but this time when he reaches for Neil’s leg, Neil forces weight back onto it and steps back. 

Andrew trips him. 

“Breakfall,” he says while Neil is still in the air, and Neil slaps the mat out of spite.

What’s worse is that the breakfall works. 

“I said takedown entries,” Kevin snipes at them, because he always comes over at the worst times.

“Not my fault he doesn’t have base,” Andrew says.

“Neil, get better base,” Kevin says. “Andrew, stop tripping him if he’s just going to fall. You’re not learning anything.”

Andrew hits single-legs for the next minute. Neil tries to step back, sprawl, to break his grips, even to pull guard one embarrassing time, but nothing works. Without warning, Andrew then hits a double-leg, but only once, and then when he stands back up he gets nothing but a sleeve grip, pulls Neil’s arm up in a slight arc, and twists somehow so that Neil’s body is stretched across his shoulders. He can tell that if Andrew ducked and pulled further on his arm Neil would go flipping headfirst onto the ground. 

“Fireman’s carry,” Andrew says. 

Of course Neil has heard of a fireman’s carry takedown, but it’s not common in the Raven strategy, and it feels so different than it looks. “Show me again.”

Andrew does the fireman’s carry two more times, Neil running commentary. “So, it’s same-side arm, up, and then step to the side-- no, away-- and then you kneel? Or do you kneel before you step? And then what type of grip you use for the leg? Which leg?”

Before Neil gets his questions answered, the timer goes off and it’s time to switch. 

Alright, Neil tells himself. You just got a masterclass in what you’re supposed to do. First, get grips.

Step One is foiled time and time again by Andrew, who somehow manages to twist and yank his arms out of every single grip Neil gets on them. He only gets close enough for a collar tie once, his palm on the back of Andrew's neck, and Andrew ducks and pushes his elbow up, breaking that grip too. Neil’s fairly certain that he could spend the next week just grip-fighting and not get anywhere against the wrestler. 

“Andrew, stop being a dick,” Kevin calls over to them. “He’s not getting anywhere.”

Now that someone else said it, Neil has to disagree. 

Andrew finally lets Neil grab his sleeve, and must be expecting Neil to pull him into a fireman’s carry because he had asked so many questions about that takedown, which means that Neil of course has to shove Andrew’s arm out of the way and shoot a double-leg. 

“Really,” Andrew says, not only not falling over but also wrapping his arm around Neil’s neck in the precursor to a guillotine. 

“Shit.” Neil stands back up. “You’re like a tree trunk. I didn’t sign up for this just to get marionnetted around, you know.”

“Never would have guessed. Hit the fireman’s.”

Neil does shoot the fireman’s carry this time, keeping his singular grip close, and gets a sense for the feeling just before finishing the takedown, where Andrew’s body is all balanced on the fulcrum of his shoulders. He could just lean forward and send Andrew to the ground. 

“Why did you sign up?” Andrew asks faux-innocently, which is when Neil realizes that he messed up. 

He fights for grips again to stall for time. “You said it yourself, I’m a fanboy,” he tries. 

“Wrong. You didn’t even believe he was Kevin Day.”

“I just like jiu-jitsu.”

“Nicky took down the signs. You didn't know this was a gym any more than Kevin knows you’re a runaway.”

“So it was Nicky.” It’s a clumsy attempt at deflection, Neil reeling from the confidence in Andrew’s deduction, because he’s wrong but he also isn’t. Neil didn’t strictly run away, not from his Uncle, not this time. But he is, in identity, a runaway and nothing else. “I was wondering. Why are you grilling me anyway,” he says, which is what he thinks a normal person would say. Everything’s an interrogation to him.

“Because you’re lying.” The ten-second warning on the timer beeps, and when Neil shoots his next double-leg Andrew simply refuses to fall.

“Okay, Jesus, fine, I came in because some creeps were following me.” This is Neil’s last resort besides just plain bolting. It’s a good lie because it’s true, allowing him to follow it with “I don’t know why.”

The timer goes off, but not much changes considering that everyone has paused in their training to eavesdrop.

“Well why didn’t you say so?” Andrew says, his tone a pitch-perfect imitation of Nicky’s ‘Is it my birthday?’. “That’s against Rule Fourteen.”

“You guys have an anti-stalking clause codified into your gym rules?” Neil doesn’t remember seeing such a rule, but considering the freaks around here he isn’t surprised.

“Rule Fourteen is Be Respectful, don’t you remember. Not very respectful to chase rabbits all the way to foxholes, is it?”

Allison raises her hand. Andrew beams at her, but she’s undeterred. “I fucking hate stalkers. Permission for Seth and I to hunt them down.”

“Denied,” Kevin says. 

That is… a weird exchange. Not only is it weird that strangers want to get involved in Neil’s business, it’s weird that the self-proclaimed non-self-defense trainer would be the first to say so. But paired with Seth, whatever combat weakness she might have would be canceled out. She’d turn from obvious bait and a liability to the secret weapon in the mountain’s shadow, it would be an excellent teamup. There’s just no reason for it.

Dan raises her hand. “We’re not asking.”

“Denied.”

“Go yourself then. Pussy,” Seth says, effortlessly breaking Rules Twelve and Fourteen.

“Denied,” says Andrew.

“I’m not fucking scared of you,” Seth starts, which is an interesting position for him to take considering that he absolutely should be. His loss.

Kevin picks up the remote to the timer from where it’s been sitting on the tops of the mats taped onto the walls. He turns the volume up and makes it beep earsplittingly loud. “Drill your takedowns to finish, any submission. Two minutes each.”

Nobody moves. The timer starts ticking down. 

“How about you walk him home, Andrew,” Renee suggests sweetly. Neil revises his mental calculations to put her down as the largest threat in the room, based off ‘Rather the devil you know’ logic. “Since you seem concerned.”

“Base,” Andrew says as warning before he slams into Neil, takes him down, and hauls him into an armbar before he can start to fight. Neil taps, he lets go. 

“That’s very thoughtful,” Renee says as if Andrew had agreed with her, and then proceeds to take Aaron down the same way. 

The two minutes pass in silence that would be tense if not for the overwhelming presence of Andrew hitting his full wrestling takedowns over and over again. He goes for armbars mostly, but hits a knee bar in a scramble and a kimora when he pins Neil on his side. He does not rush to get up between each rep the way Renee does, allowing Neil some time to catch his breath, but he does not slow down either, the two minutes passing in perfect increments of stand up, fall, tap, stand up again. 

They switch and Neil learns that he has been doing collarties incorrectly and he should be keeping his elbow in and constantly putting weight on the back of Andrew’s neck. “Otherwise I just have your arm,” Andrew explains, taking Neil’s arm and ducking underneath to get his hands around Neil’s waist in the precursor to a mat return.

“Noted.”

Neil manages to land one somewhat passable double-leg to armbar combo before the timer screeches again. 

Kevin turns the timer’s volume down, looking faintly embarrassed now that he’s not interrupting anyone. “Circle up,” he says. “Nicky, can I borrow you for single-leg x?”

Nicky walks to the center of the mat and Kevin falls back and slaps the mat, maneuvering himself so that Nicky is standing over him with his feet standing beside Kevin’s waist. Kevin grabs Nicky’s ankles and launches the lower half of his body up, his knee clamping down on the inside of Nicky’s thigh and his other heel wrapping around to the outside. “Five reps, alternating sides, and sweep on the fifth,” he says, then demonstrates the sequence again, four more times, and on the fifth time bridges his hips at a 45-degree angle so that Nicky falls. “One minute and switch.”

Neil’s seen that move before. It should be fine. The timer beeps and everyone does their synchronized clap.

Once he’s actually laying on the mat with Andrew standing over him, he gets second thoughts. He’s meant to bring his knee up to hold onto the inside of Andrew’s thigh, which is obvious, that’s just what single-leg x is, but-- “This feels dangerous,” he comments.

“If you knee me in the balls I will return the favor.”

Neil tilts his head. “Bit difficult.” 

“I’d find a way.”

He does not end up kneeing Andrew in the balls, which makes the whole thing an overwhelming success, even though it takes him six tries to actually pull off the sweep at the end. Andrew’s sense of balance is just supernatural. 

The timer goes off and they switch. Neil already feels off-balance as Andrew gets into position, holding his ankles, and when Andrew’s knee catches him, he can’t stop himself from falling backwards. Here we go again, he thinks.

Andrew surges forward after him, eyes widening, and he’s not sure what the problem is until he hits the ground with Andrew’s hands cradling Neil’s head. “Oh shit,” he says, looking down to see that his head and shoulders are hanging off the edge of the mat. He would’ve cracked his skull open on the hard concrete. “Thanks.”

Andrew pulls his hands away, looking annoyed. “Don’t fall.”

Neil does fall again, and again, but in a different direction so Andrew doesn’t have to rescue him again. He’s not sure which one of them is more frustrated by it by the time Kevin tells them to circle up again.

They drill knee-cuts, which Neil does actually understand. It’s just one hand on the hip and one hand on the knee, push the knee to the mat, staple it down with his leg, underhook, and go to side control. There are intricacies he’s not getting, he’s sure, but it’s fine. Then they do a more movement-focused drill in which he switches from armbar from guard to armbarring the other arm, swinging 180 degrees around with just the pendulum momentum from one leg. 

“Do you know how to do a wristlock from here,” Andrew asks while Neil is holding onto both of his arms and calculating how much momentum he can get without accidentally kicking Andrew in the head. 

“Of course,” Neil says. He tries to do the pendulum motion, but runs out of momentum while still facing Andrew, so he just scoots the rest of the way until he has his leg clamped over Andrew’s head in proper guard-armbar position. “Do you want me to?”

“Show me how you would.”

Neil does so, methodically replicating the steps he remembers from watching a Raven instructional video. It doesn’t feel quite right, but Andrew taps anyway, and they continue the drill without further interruption. 

Just when Neil thinks he’s going to have to slow down or even, horrifyingly, ask to take a break-- the pendulum motion requires a ton of ab strength, as did single-leg x-- the timer goes off. “That’s class for today, line up on the edge of the mat,” Kevin says. 

Andrew rapidly disentagles himself from Neil’s guard and goes to stand beside Renee and Nicky, the other low-ranking blue belts. Neil goes to the end of the line, beside Seth. 

“Good work today. Announcements just in case you forgot: Do not leave your devil’s lettuce in the cubbies, Renee and Dan are fighting Toro, Wymack’s birthday is next Monday, and Neil, Trial Class, is not allowed to roll. Let’s bow out.”

Everybody bows, then Kevin goes to the front of the line and starts shaking hands, the line doubling over on itself to follow him so Neil gets told “Good work” by Kevin Day, Allison Reynolds, Dan Wilds, Matt, Aaron, Renee, a very cheery Nicky, and a reluctant Seth, in that order. It’s so disorienting that he only notices what’s wrong when everybody has gone to the water fountains.

Andrew is gone.

Belt rankings, reasoning, main skills:

Wymack- black (coach. Main skills: Patience.)

Kevin- brown (trained since birth. Main skills: he’s just better than you.)

Allison- purple (access to a gym since freshman year high school. Main skills: leg entanglements.)

Dan- Blue, 3 stripe (dedicated training. Main skills: Creative use of weight and pressure while incorporating moves from class into strategic rolling.)

Matt- Blue, 2 stripe (built different. Main skills: strength without skimping on technique)

Aaron- Blue, 2 stripe (wrestling experience. Main skills: a lot stronger than he looks.)

Renee- Blue, 2 stripe (access to a gym since being adopted by Stephanie. Main skills: does not believe in no-win scenarios)

Andrew- Blue, 0 stripe (does not roll with anyone but Kevin, Aaron, Nicky, and Renee. Main skills: balance, standup, grip-breaking, and space management. You cannot knock him over and you especially cannot pin him down.)

Nicky- Blue, 0 stripe (does not follow the rules. Main skills: wrestling and flexibility.)

Seth- White, 4 stripe (has trouble translating moves from drills into strategy during rolling, does not follow the rules. Main skills: built like a truck.)

Neil- White, 0 stripe (no experience, pure vibes. Main skills: encyclopedic knowledge of lore.)

Also, Neil talks about the Gracie family like he really admires them, because he fucking loves jiu-jitsu, but in real life they’re not exactly role models. They can be trusted to be damn good at jiu-jitsu but not, for example, to respect women. However, at least they’re not the Moriyamas. 

Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you liked it!

[fluffytriceratops]

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 - 𝐚. 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 [chapter two]

chapter two: "𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚢 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚝."

notes: hey, accidents happen— 😏👌✨

chapter one: "mrs kwan is my sugar daddy."

chapter three: "there he is, mr. america."

««•◦ ✪ ◦•»»

Wednesday, 11:13 am.

y/n

guyss HELP

queen keiji

what happened?

bokubro

you okay?

y/n

no. I ACCIDENTALLY JUST SLAPPED THIS DUDES ASS 😫😭

kendoll

how the hell did you do that?

tsukitsuki

sure, an accident.

y/n

tsuki this is no time for sarcasm! im PANICKING here

kendoll

im still confused on how you managed that.  

y/n

well it wasn't on purpose!!

y'know how when i talk i move my arms around?

and it can get pretty hectic when i'm excited??  

queen keiji

ah yes, i think i understand what happened.  

bokubro

really?? cuz i'm still very confused-  

tsukitsuki

you would be.  

bokubro

huh?  

y/n

i didn't see how close he was to me and before i know what's happening my hand slaps his bootymeat!!!  

tsukitsuki

bootymeat?  

queen keiji

did you apologize?  

y/n

ofc i fcking apologized! i was practically on my hands and knees begging for this mans forgiveness.

he was actually really sweet about it- and my god- he's so fucking fine---  

tsukitsuki

is no one else going to question what she called his ass?  

kendoll

we're used to her behavior at this point. it's better not to question anything.  

tetsu

you should really know that at this point, tsuki. i mean you live with her for fucks sake-  

bokubro

KURRO!!!

where the hell have you been loca??  

y/n

boku-

LMFAO

marry me ❤️

tsukitsuki

fair enough.  

bokubro

any day. any time bb gurl~ ❤️  

y/n

sdkhdfkljghldfkghfg-- 🥰💕

tsukitsuki

you guys are disgusting.  

tetsu

BOKUTO!!!!

how was practice today man?

and y/n- seriously? how the fuck did you managed that?  

y/n

IDK!!! 😭😭

IM SO EMBARRASSED I DONT THINK I CAN HANDLE THIS  

tsukitsuki

says the girl who was sending hearts five seconds ago-  

bokubro

practice was great! you should stop by next time you're available!  

y/n

shut the fuck up tsuki.  

tsukitsuki

just stating facts.  

queen keiji

well at least you apologized. and from what you said, he seemed to take it well enough.  

tetsu

who even was this guy??

and yes bo, i definitely will if i get the chance!!  

bokubo

yeah i wanna know too!  

y/n

idk his name. but i have seen him around campus before.

he's in one of my classes for sure. i wouldn't forget an ass like his~ 🤤  

kendoll

now that's disgusting.  

tetsu

what did he look like? maybe we know him.  

tsukitsuki

@ kendoll, agreed.  

y/n

he was pretty tall- like maybe around kuroo's height? a little shorter even? he had blonde hair with a brown undercut. fair skin. and brown eyes. AND A THICK ASS- 😏 my hand BOUNCED off that shit--  

tsukitsuki

you're weird as fuck  

bokubro

wait- i think i know who that is!!  

queen keiji

i have a feeling i know him as well.  

tetsu

you think it's tsumu?  

bokubro

hey! i wanted to say itt!! 😫  

tetsu

you snooze you lose dude  

y/n

uh- who?

also tsuki pls fuck off. 👌  

kendoll

he plays volleyball with bokuto.  

tsukitsuki

with pleasure.  

tsukitsuki is now offline.  

y/n

wait no! i feel bad! tsuki come back!!  

tetsu

he won't. he's on his way to class rn anyway-  

y/n

damn.

i'm gonna have to apologize later-

anyway-

he plays vb with bo? i must have seen him then! i'll come see your next practice and see if its him. ^^  

bokubro

ALRIGHT!!!

it feels like forever since you've come seen me play!

IM SO EXCITED!!!!!  

y/n

awe- me too!! 🥰

you're such a sweetie bo- never change.  

bokubro

i ain't planning on it. 😋  

━  

"Miss. L/n, do you plan on actually paying attention to my class or are you going to continue to grin like a crack addict at your phone the whole time?"

Y/n's head shot up to look at her professor, face burning a bright shade of crimson. She ducked her head, trying to hide from the many eyes that were glued to her. One pair in particular stood out greatly compared to the rest. Chocolate molten, darkly golden eyes. They were practically burned into her memory after all. Considering the first time she really saw them was only moments ago.

PREVIOUSLY.

"You should have seen him, Pika! He practically soared through the air! His hand came in contact with the ball so quickly! And then he smashed it onto the ground!" Y/n recalled the events of Bokuto's amazing play to one of her best friend's. The female nodded enthusiastically, watching with stars in her eyes as she pictured the scene in her head.

"Awe! So cool! I wish I would have seen it.. If I didn't have to study, I would've totally been there!" Pika hummed, biting the end of her pencil in thought.

"Next time, we can both go! OH- I ALMOST FORGOT THE BEST PART-" Y/n moved her arms almost comically as she retold the practice. Making 'whooshing' and other noises with her mouth to emphasize her story. What she hadn't seen, was the guy walking past her. Trying to get down the row to his seat. And that's when it happened. The back of her hand hit something firm but slightly bouncy. She didn't think much of it at first, too enthralled in what she had been saying. But when she turned to apologize to whoever she had hit, Y/n realized just what she did.

Her face had never been more red. Her arms shot to her chest, cradling them in absolute humiliation. He was just walking by to get to his seat, and she had slapped his booty. Kill her now. She bowed her head so quickly, she swore her forehead touched her knees. Pika was stifling her laughter behind her palm, face beginning to grow red herself from second hand embarrassment.

"Oh my god- I'm so, so, so sorry- I didn't mean- it was an accident- I swear I-" His laughter cut her off. It was such a melodic sound, Y/n couldn't help but peek up at his face. There was a tiny flush to his skin, his mouth was stretched wide in a grin, eyes closed as he chuckled. "No worries. But if you really wanted to slap my ass," he opened his eyes, looking back down at her. Brown met e/c and the sight of his beautiful eyes made her heart flip. They reminded her of freshly brewed coffee. Her mouth almost watered. He leaned down and placed a hand on the table next to her, trapping her between him and the desk. "All you had to do was ask."  

"Miss. L/n?!" Said female jumped, coming back to reality as she looked down at her teacher. Had she really just been thinking about that guy the whole time? Without acknowledging her professor? How embarrassing...

"S-Sorry!" She squeaked, "Uh- I'll pay attention now! Promise!" She saluted, face scrunched in a mixture of confusion and horror. The male from before was still starring at her from a row down. She connected her gaze with his once more and his lips quirked up in a smirk. There is was, her Achilles heel. That smile was going to be the death of her... She just knew it.  

━  

y/n

sorry guys, just got scolded by teach for not paying attention

gtg before she beats my ass-

ALSO HE WAS STARING AT ME THE WHOLE TIME AND HIS SMIRK AHH MY HEART LORD HAVE MERCYYYY

okay bye - love you <3

tetsu

you're hopeless but I love you too

kendoll

agreed.

bokubro

love you too bb!! 💕

queen keiji

I told you to pay attention.. you got what you deserve

[tim-hoe-wan]

I know this topic is really stale but for some reason I still see people or maybe I'm unfortunately on tiktok weighing in on the whole Sel-Hailey fight. Surprisingly though, A LOT of people have come forward to defend Hailey. No I don't mean trying to act like she's their queen, rather just pointing how this whole bullshit was Selena's fault and Hailey was innocent on this specific feud. I'm surprised considering Hailey's own reputation on the black community, but even among my friends (I'm biracial to be clear and I barely pay attention to those 3) they were pointing out how Hailey is innocent in this battle.

Ok anyway, my question is. I wonder why more people who are mostly locals or not even fans of any of those 3 have come to defend Hailey or on a lesser scale point out how this is a product of pure misogyny alone. Compared to say, when Olivia Wilde was the subject of a stan related witchhunt. I'm no fan of Olivia by any means and I don't care about her, Harry or Jason, but I did remember wondering why Shia was getting a redemption arc while Olivia was being treated as worse than him. While she's an ass for hiring him in the first place, Shia is the abuser here.

I'm gonna put a disclaimer that I'm no psychologist or idk anthropologist to act like I have some scientific or a deeper analytical answer to this. I'm gonna go based on how I view the two situtations, how I reacted to both, and how people I know or on my immediate circle reacted.

I'm not gonna start with the harries, I think it's pretty clear you should not look at anyone who's a stan or has a very subjective bias to get opinions on a person. Rather, I'll go with the stuff Olivia has "done" and when the hunt leaked outside of the stans

A lot the Olivia bashing went out of hand that's true. She does not deserve to be viewed worse than Shia or be subject of any misogynystic attacks. I refrained from a lot of the conversation because people were no longer focused on the shitty thing Olivia has done that warrants some well-deserved criticisms or even annoyance, but rather stans using this as a justification to be misogynystic.

But honestly for me, why I was less keen on "defending" Olivia was because she ultimately used Shia as a prop to make her seem like a feminist queen, starting with her profiting of FKA Twig's abuse. Then as the Shia drama began and all the way to the end of the dwd promo actually, it's not even enough that she wants to get rid of the drama she wants to be absolved from the things she's done and someone gotta tell her that's not the women's empowerment move she thinks. Like girl, no matter what Shia had a well-known history of being abusive and being an ass. The fact that you even hired him, you're not exactly the ally of the people you think you are. And you know what, I would still criticize her, but I would be less bothered if she wasn't so keen on making herself like some groundbreaking feminist. It's annoying because I REALLY REALLY hate hypocrites and people who tout activism as some brand when they don't have the morals to back it up. It's also downright insulting profiting off another woman, moreso a black woman's abuse like that, when it's clear from actions and words your feminism is white feminism.

Fast forward to the Shia video, it reminds me of people willing to look the other way for this guy and she's begging him to stay and her condescending tone to Flo. NO. But really it's the former that irks me so much because Shia is KNOWN ABUSIVE ASS and you can't gaslight me to believing you hired him but you're the embodiment of women's rights and kindness. BUT, it was disturbing she got more lashing than Shia did and you saw people using that video to give Shia a redemption arc. I also note that as much as she's an ass, from this situation that's just as she is, an ass. She wasn't trying to murder someone on set yet she gets more lashing than directors who were abusive on set.

But the thing that seals it for me is she just doesn't stop talking. It's ok if she wants to defend herself on things she should be defending herself from. I would support herself on that. It ain't ok when you're gonna try to rewrite history and act like you weren't the one touting this scene's problematic/borderline rape scenes as sexual breakthrough for cinema. You can't complain and say you're not gonna feed drama, and the next sentence or action you're gonna feed drama. I'm gonna defend her on the attacks she doesn't deserve, but I'm not gonna tolerate when a bitch tries to rewrite history and absolve their faults. That ain't how it works and it makes her hard to defend because she wants absolution from even HER OWN MISTAKES. Anyway that's my reaction and how a lot of my friend viewed it why we were not as sympathetic to her.

With Hailey here's the thing. The first difference with her and the Olivia situation is that she did nothing to prompt this. She's done nothing in the recent years, unless you're trying to reach super hard, to provoke Selena starting this stupid witchhunt. It's incredibly dumb if you're a stan trying to use things that happened 7 or more so years ago or aka when she was a stupid teenager to justify that, especially when they both have tried to quash any drama like a few months prior to this. And the annoying part is how people try to go social justice route when that's just your justification to join a witchhunt because people love having a new woman to attack and make viral tiktok videos about. I have a hard time believing when most stans would turn the other way OR be hypocritical if a celeb they like does the same problematic shit Hailey did or is doing.

The second difference, she's not responding to it. She hasn't done a victim off or made some clarificatory video or anything to fight back. She's going on like nothing's happening, we don't know how she feels, but she's not doing anything for this drama. It would be different for me if Hailey tried to rewrite that she was never at any point being racist or do whatever Olivia did and try to make it look like she's never done anything wrong in her life. Hailey is problematic in her own right and her being the product of a witch hunt doesn't erase that. But in this specific feud, she's innocent and she hasn't responded in anyway right now that makes that point moot. It's a crucial difference because Olivia had her share of adding drama or the conversation around it so unsurprisingly people kept talking about it, whereas Hailey hasn't done anything to further it and the drama kept going on and on that it's obvious this is just plainly rooted on people wanting another woman to hunt.

[sturnioloshacker]

I posted 601 times in 2022

115 posts created (19%)

486 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@damiannasworld

@8iunie

@hiya-its-amber

@que--sera--sera

@boundtobreakk

I tagged 238 of my posts in 2022

#asks ❤️ - 85 posts

#mutuals 🤍 - 84 posts

#mutual asks - 83 posts

#sweet asks 💕 - 59 posts

#måneskin - 53 posts

#damiano david - 39 posts

#my irish queen 😘 - 39 posts

#tagged - 20 posts

#ethan torchio - 11 posts

#tag game - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#you could honestly say something so weird and i would be okay with it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

my little toy - a corbyn besson short smut

a/n: due to corbyn matthew besson fucking with my emotions in the hdyls mv, here's a lil something

warnings: dirty talking, orgasm denial

THIS IS AN 18+ SHORT. if you are not 18+, PLEASE DO NOT CLICK THE READING TAB! if you choose to click the keep reading tab, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. what you choose to consume on the internet and here on tumblr is completely up to you. other than that, enjoy your reading 💕

"my little fucking cum toy. you fucking love how my dick fills you up so fucking good and deep, how i pound you for hours and hours and pleasure you until you're shaking" he laughed cruely as i squirmed underneath him

"oh i haven't forgotten about last night, how i had you whimpering and screaming my name, desperate for my cock to be inside you, filling you up so fucking good". all i could do was just moan as my nails buried themselves deeper into his shoulder blades

the way his biceps bulged from holding himself up got me whining like a little bitch. the way his cock kissed my cervix had me crying in pleasure. fuck he knows how to make me feel so fucking amazing

"c-corb-fuck! corbyn please!"

"what was that? i don't think i heard correctly"

"daddy! fuck me harder! please! just do something! i'm so close!" i cry out.

"you're such a greedy little whore, just begging for me to let you cum. you do know that you could've just asked me to fuck you instead of acting like a brat"

i feel the knot in my stomach tightening with every passing second. i can feel my orgasm getting so close, it's right there. i knew that acting like a brat would get him riled up but this is just next level.

"i'm sorry daddy but i needed you to pay attention to me! i needed you so bad!" i whine

corbyn let out a low chuckle as he quickened his thrusts. my moans get higher and just as i'm about to release, he pulls out.

"sorry princess, but only good girls get to cum" he says and kisses my lips

corbyn hops off the bed, pulls up his underwear and pants and exits the room, leaving me dumbfounded and in disbelief. did i just get denied an orgasm? yes i did. should i be a good girl next time? most definitely!

44 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

#4

birthday surprise - a daniel seavey smut

a/n: my first blurb that isn’t short! yay! enjoy this one guys xoxo also, m/n means middle name

warnings: smut, daddy kink, praise kink, spanking

THIS IS AN 18+ BLURB. if you are not 18+, PLEASE DO NOT CLICK THE READING TAB! if you choose to click the keep reading tab, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. what you choose to consume on the internet and here on tumblr is completely up to you. other than that, enjoy your reading 💕

i roll over to daniel’s side of the bed, only to get fresh air and the coolness of the pillow hitting my head. i yelp as the cold touches my cheek and i sit up. getting out of bed, i walk down the stairs of the why don’t we residence to find not one single body. hm. that’s weird. they must be at the studio working on music. this gives me all day to get ready for daniel’s birthday!

as i make myself breakfast, the conversation i had with daniel came back to me.

i don’t want any presents. all i want is to spend my birthday with you. in fact, all i want for my birthday is my princess.

a smirk plays on my lips as i eat my breakfast. i place my dishes in the dishwasher and race back upstairs to our room. i rummage through my side of the walk-in wardrobe and my eyes are immediately drawn to two dresses that i’ve never worn in front of daniel. i bring them out to try them on when my eyes lay on a set of lingerie that daniel brought me on valentine’s day. i put the dresses back and bring out the lingerie set. i put it on and i immediately know that i’m in trouble when daniel gets home. i remove the set from my body and lay it on the bed. as i get myself ready, my phone rings and daniel’s name appears on the screen. i smile as i answer

“happy birthday baby!”

“thank you, angel! how are you?”

“i’m excited to celebrate your birthday tonight!”

“i’m excited too! i can’t wait to spend my birthday with my princess!”

a blush spreads across my cheeks at the name. he really knows how to make me weak.

“so… um… don’t be mad at me but i got you a present”

“no baby why! i told you i didn’t want anything! i just wanted you and that’s it!” he whined.

“i can promise you that you’ll absolutely love it! trust me?”

“of course, i trust you, pretty girl! i better love it!”

oh, you definitely will!

“anyway, what time will you be home?”

“hopefully by 8 tonight. why?”

“i wanna spend time with the birthday boy! my boyfriend!”

“you’re cute! i should be home by 8 so we can celebrate”.

“yay! I’ll let you do what you need to do. happy birthday, dani! i love you so much!”

“i love you, sweet girl. i’ll see you tonight”.

after hanging up, i head to the spare study room and grab a piece of paper and a marker. i write down a little note for daniel for when he arrives home and i place it on the dining table. hopefully he sees it…

~LATER THAT NIGHT~

i put on the finishing touches of my makeup and look at myself in the mirror before walking back into the bedroom and waiting for daniel to walk in. the front door opens and i hear the loud booming voices of the boys.

“yo daniel! check this out!” i hear jonah yell out to daniel.

i smirk to myself. thanks jonah! daniel walks to where jonah is and begins to read the note i left him.

See the full post

52 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

kiss & make up - a daniel seavey short

well, i guess i’m sleeping alone tonight. daniel and i got into an argument which has resulted in both of us in different areas of the room we share. as i scroll through tiktok, i notice daniel watching youtube videos in an attempt to get his mind off of the argument. we have been like this for a good couple of hours and to be honest, i absolutely hate it. i hate not being able to cuddle him and kiss him. but he made me so mad!

i get a notification saying that i have 20% of battery life left. i curse under my breath as i get up and out of bed and walk towards my charger that’s under daniel’s desk. as i crouch down to grab the charger, i hear the chair’s wheels go in reverse and creak as it spins in my direction. “baby! come here!” daniel whines. oh, so now he wants to stop! i guess two can play at this game. I ignore him and continue to grab the charger.

as i go to plug my phone in, daniel grabs me by the waist and pulls me into his lap. i yelp as i watch my phone drop to the floor (thank the heavens it didn’t smash!) and be seated on my boyfriend’s lap. i still ignore him but fail miserably as i feel his lips press against my cheek, leaving small soft kisses there.

“i’m sorry princess. i love you so much and i never want to have an argument like that again. i didn’t mean to get fired up like that. forgive me?” he whispers in my ear.

“i love you too. i forgive you baby” you say.

he gently grabs my chin in between his thumb and index finger and turns my face so that i’m looking straight into his piercing blue eyes that are full of love. i feel a blush spread across my cheeks as i’m met with that cheeky seavey smile that i adore so much.

“you’re cute, you know that?” he says, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips.

blushing, i hide my face in the crook of his neck.

“why you hiding, my love?” he asks as i blush even harder at the name.

“because you called me cute and now you just called me love so it got me all nervous and giddy” you admit to him and the smile that spreads across his face made your heart skip a million beats.

“do i make you nervous? really?” he asks and i nod.

“we’ve been together for almost a year and i still make you nervous?”

“you’re daniel seavey! you’re my boyfriend! of course, i get nervous around you!”

daniel laughs and kisses my forehead. i bring my face out from hiding to press a kiss on his lips.

“i love you, daniel. so much”.

“i love you, sweetheart. so much”

55 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

you're mine - a zabdiel de jesus smut short

a/n: to the anon that asked for zabdiel smut, here you go lovely 💕

a/n: there’ll be no sappy, pre-smut stuff. we’re getting straight to the nasty

warnings: smut, possession kink, daddy kink, slapping, a bit of spitting, degradation

this is an 18+ short. if you are under the age of 18, PLEASE DO NOT CLICK THE KEEP READING TAB!

“fuck daddy!” i cry out. i’m sprawled out across the bed with zabdiel on top of me and his cock pounding into my pussy. placing a wet, open kiss on my lips, zabdiel continues to stretch out my walls and aggressively hit my g-spot that is about to burst if he keeps at this pace.

“who’s pussy is this, princessa? tell me”, zabdiel growls in my ear.

“y-y-yo-” i get cut off with a slap to my face

“tell. me. now. who’s. pussy. is. this?” he growls again as he continues to thrust hard against my g-spot.

“yours daddy! fuck! this is your pussy!” i moan out and he slaps me again.

“such a good little slut” he groans out before kissing me roughly.

i feel myself getting closer by the second and zabdiel knows this.

“you gonna cum? Yeah?”

i nod my head and another slap comes across my cheek.

“words bitch”

“yes daddy! i’m gonna cum!”

“good girl. now tell me. who are you?”

i try to answer but i moan out instead which causes zabdiel’s large hand to wrap around my throat.

“i said. who are you?”

“yours daddy! I’m all yours! let me cum, please!” i cry out to him, tears spilling down my reddened cheeks.

“that’s right. you’re mine. all. fucking. mine. now cum for me, you dirty little cumslut”, he groans out and i release all over his cock.

“fuck, get on your knees”

i quickly get to the floor and stick my tongue out. zabdiel thrusts his cock in his hand a couple of times before coating my tongue and face with his cum.

“such a good girl”, zabdiel moans out as i swallow.

i giggle as i lick off all the cum around my lips and swallow every last drop, all while my boyfriend watches in awe.

zabdiel taps my lips and i cock my head to the side.

“open that pretty little mouth up for me, baby,”  he says and i oblige.

i open my mouth and stick my tongue out again and i’m met with zabdiel spitting into the back of my throat and onto my tongue”.

“swallow that shit baby” he says and i do what he says.

“good little slut” he says before giving me another slap and walking away, leaving me in a mess of mine and his cum everywhere.

60 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

abskansksbenwiwbe he’s so pretty 😍😍😍

90 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hanjizung]

♡ What Love Is ♡

Han Jisung x Reader.

Word count:  10K

♡ Warnings ♡: Smut; non idol AU, DILF!Jisung, older Jisung, OC (kid), possession kink, marking kink, oral (f), overstimulation, begging, masturbation, shower sex, exhibitionism, fingering, creampie, aftercare.

A/N: Finally the second part to Modern Vintage is here. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and please let me know what you think of it! ♡

Summer coming closer could mean many things; families spent more time together since children weren’t going to school anymore, couples had more dates and groups of friends went to eat from time to time to catch up. Overall, most places were fuller during summer, especially beaches since the sun was incredibly hot. You knew some people loved to go out in summer, maybe to travel or to visit some relatives.

Even knowing how summer as a customer was, working in the coffee shop during the season was another experience, some days it was too empty, then on the weekends too full and some days you didn’t even have enough time to eat. Adding to the stress of working during this season, but luckily, summer was just about to end and since you decided to take summer classes to fasten your graduation and get your degree sooner, you were almost completely over which meant that you would be able find a better place to work and help Jisung pay the bills.

A smile appeared on your face when you thought of him. The two of you had been together for almost a little over a year now; he stopped working in the coffee shop with you  after his best friends from college offered him an opportunity to work with them as a producer in their company, that had been a month after the weekend the two of you spent without Jisu, both of them showed up at his night job, (which you learned, he worked at a nightclub as a DJ and he was really awesome at it) asking him to take a moment and go with them for a talk. The next morning you found him drinking coffee in the kitchen, still thinking of accepting or declining, smiling and kissing you when you encouraged him to take the offer.

Since then, he told Minho and Felix about it, and they congratulated him and told him that he would still get the employee discounts whenever he stopped by to visit them (and you, of course.) The Lee brothers, more than being your bosses, they treated the two of you like good friends and worried about you like they were family. You still remember Felix’s face when he saw you kissing Jisung goodbye while Jisu hugged her dad tightly, a grin on Felix’s lips that made him look like a mischievous cat.

“Didn’t I tell you it would be only a matter of time?” he said, startling both Jisung and you, making you turn to look at him laughing, a slight blush coloring your cheeks.

“Felix, you knew we would end up together since he brought Jisu here” you objected, rolling your eyes playfully. “What kind of witchcraft did you do, hmm? Tell me your secret!” you joked, getting closer to him and hugging him lovingly. He hugged you back and patted your hair as if you were Jisu.

“I have eyes, Y/N. I could see the both of you drooling for each other when you worked the same hours” he explained, his brows raised as he turned from you to Jisung, who just like you had his face painted with a blush.

“Oh” Jisung said, scratching the back of his head with his free arm and laughing awkwardly. “I mean, you’re not wrong, Lix. I liked Y/N since the very first time I saw her mess up a drink” your boyfriend said, winking at you.

“Are you saying that messing drinks is the way to get to your heart, Sungie?” you asked, acting as serious as you could, “because if that’s the case, I won’t let you be in the kitchen when I’m teaching Jeongin how to do the difficult ones” you finished, making both of the men in front of you laugh.

“Ah, he doesn’t mess up as much though, I admit Jisung used to be messier than him. Jeongin’s a good boy, he learns quickly like you, Y/N. I’m glad that we hired him, I feel like the place is fuller since he’s been here” Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest and caressing his invisible beard as he looked at Jeongin who was writing down an order. 

He noticed the four pairs of eyes on him and waved to where you were awkwardly. Minho had announced not too long ago that since the coffee shop had been doing better than before now you were short staffed, and since he was planning on giving you a little vacation he made the decision of hiring someone else to help, and that's how you ended up meeting sweet Jeongin, whose cute face contributed to more daily customers as well as Felix's delicious baked desserts. 

Since you were the last person hired, it was your job to teach him everything you knew. He had been there for just three weeks now, and he was a little shy just like you were when you first started working there, but as days passed he joined the talented chefs that you had for bosses and started teasing you and Jisung every now and then. 

The coffee shop never closed, it was open all the seven days of the week, but when Jisung was offered a new spot with his good friends, you decided to throw a party to celebrate, inviting the Lee's and Jeongin, and of course, Jisu's uncles; Chan and Changbin. You also took the opportunity to invite your ex roommate, who happened to visit you at work and the one who you would constantly text when something interesting happened. Jisung said that since the party would be the first time you'd be meeting his best friends, and since he already knew your roommate that you should invite your best friend from college, so after calling him and asking him if he was free he accepted. 

The big important day came, and Jisung dressed with his nicest clothes, putting on that one cologne he knew you loved so much. The party would happen at your department, so when he was ready he announced that he would be rushing to get the missing food before all your guests appeared, leaving you and Jisu to finish getting ready. 

You helped her get ready first, dressing her with a beautiful navy blue dress that she adored since the moment she saw it, then you did her hair and told her to draw something to everyone coming to the party while you got ready as well. 

When you walked out of the room fully dressed, Jisung and Jeongin's back were turned at you. They were talking on the couch, a movie was playing on the turned on television as they talked without paying any attention to the screen, but the conversation soon died when your boyfriend stood up after hearing footsteps behind him. He stared at you, his mouth hanging and a quiet wow leaving his lips as he moved quickly to embrace you and kiss you, ready to whisper how beautiful you looked and how lucky he was to have you. 

"Woah, you look so pretty! You look like a queen, queen Y/N!" Jisu exclaimed, joining her dad and running to hug your legs. Jeongin saw the whole scene, chuckling. 

"You look amazing, Y/N. Honestly, if you and Jisung weren't together I would be inviting you for a drink as soon as I saw you" he joked, raising one of his eyebrows making you laugh. 

"Guess that's too bad for you then, Jeonginnie, she's all mine" Jisung said, pressing a kiss on your cheek and then leaving your side to sit on the couch again. 

Jisu left you to go sit on her dad's lap, and when you were just to sit on the other couch your phone rang, your best friend's photo showing on the screen as you smiled apologetic at the two men in front of you and you walked away to answer. 

"Hi, Y/N. I'm in the building, what floor is it?" his voice greeted you. He was always like this, going straight to the point. 

"The fifth floor, the door number is 190" you told him, hearing through the line how he walked into the elevator and pressed the buttons. "See you soon" you told each other before hanging up. 

You were excited to see him, it wasn't everyday that the two of you got to be at a nice event or even to a party like this, he wasn't a party guy much, and you always went out with your beloved roommate, Chunghee.

You walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and when you were coming back to the living room you heard knocking on the door. Smiling and placing your glass down, you walked excitedly to it and opened with a big smile on your lips, already knowing who it was. 

"Seungmin!" you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him carefully and hugging him tightly. He responded to the hug politely, patting your back two times and then separating his arms from you, a little shy since it was the first time he was in the presence of your boyfriend. You moved away from him to let him step inside, taking his hand in yours and closing the door behind you. 

"Jisung, Jisu, Jeongin, I present to you my best friend! Seungmin, you already met Jeongin, and this…" you left Seungmin's side to stand behind Jisung who still had Jisu in his lap, they looked at your friend with the same eyes full of curiosity "... Is my family" you finished, smiling at him, your head tilted to the side as you locked eyes with Jisung for a brief moment before returning your eyes to your best friend. 

"It's nice to meet you in person and not just thought pictures" Seungmin greeted, a timid smile on his lips that gained a chuckle from Jisung who responded that it was nice to see him as well, and so you proceeded to sit with Seungmin by your side and start a small conversation with him. 

The room fell silent for a few seconds, the TV working as background noise only until a knock on your door and voices sounding from behind it let you know that Felix and Minho had finally arrived. Jisu opened the door, rushing to get there first and throw herself at the first pair of legs that would be in front of her, making Minho laugh as he struggled to hold a box of something in his hands without it falling. Felix rushed to help his brother by freeing him from the kid's grip, taking Jisu in his arms and squishing her playfully. 

"Hey, welcome!" Jisung greeted, standing up from the couch along with Jeongin to help the two men with the things they were carrying; a cake and something that looked like it was probably ice cream. One of Felix's new experiments, possibly, but you figured that if he had brought it on that special day, it would be an advanced approved recipe. 

"We're so happy to be here, I can't wait to meet Jisung's new bosses. Are they here yet? Are they more handsome than us? Y/N?" Felix asked, lifting Jisu in the air dramatically, making her giggle and turning to you when he was saying the last part, his accusative eyes scanning you. 

"They haven't arrived yet, we'll meet them at the same time, Lix" you laughed, standing up yourself and hugging Minho first, then him. He smiled at you, and then noticed Seungmin who was still sitting where you were, his extroverted self wasted no time and he made his way there, dragging you along with him. 

"Hello, we haven't been introduced yet, I think? If you've heard nice things about a Lee Felix then that's me, but if all you've heard of him are complaints, then it's not me anymore" he joked, presenting his hand to your best friend who laughed politely at his joke. 

"Kim Seungmin, Y/N's friend" he shook Felix's hand and then patted Jisu’s head since she was still in Felix’s arms, offering both of them shy smile along with it. It was so heartwarming to have all your friends and family interacting with each other.

A phone going off distracted you and everyone in the room turned to meet the owner who simply smiled shyly, turning his back and answering. You could hear Jisung’s voice through the introductions of the people who were currently in your house. You watched all of them with a fond smile, but the sudden sensation of an arm wrapping around your waist scared you a little bit, making you turn your face to find your beloved boyfriend who placed a kiss on your cheek, whispering to you that he would be leaving shortly to get his friends. 

You nodded and sat next to Minho on the couch, he was on his phone until he noticed you, straightening his back and smiling briefly at you. He asked how you were doing and how you were feeling about Jisung’s new path, you said that you felt happy for him and that your current concern was that you wanted to graduate to help; your conversation with him finished rather quickly, as the door opened and two strange men walked in through the door, the subject of your conversation with Minho staying behind them and closing the door.

“Everyone, they are my friends and now coworkers, Chan and Changbin,” Jisung announced, taking advantage of the silence that reigned on your little home to present his best friends, a intimidating looking man almost his height with a deadly gaze and a slightly taller one, blond guy who was smiling openly and showing his dimples. 

Jisung stepped forward, a big smile on his face as his hand took yours and pulled you in front of his friends. You weren’t sure why, but your face started feeling a bit hot and you were a little afraid that if you tried to speak, you would stutter instead of speaking properly. To you it almost felt like you were meeting his parents, your nerves getting the best of you.

“Guys this is Y/N, you already know her a little from what I’ve told you” he laughed, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, his cheeks also a rosy color just like yours were.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” the blond one said, offering you his hand for you to take. You did, extending your shaky hand to him and shaking it, then doing the same with Changbin. 

Your ray of sunshine boyfriend must’ve felt the awkwardness you were irradiating, since he wasted no time in coming to your rescue and started presenting everyone else to them, except Jisu who left Felix to hug Changbin and tell him to pick her up so she could kiss his cheek. While he was busy with introductions, Seungmin approached you quietly, looking at you with a soft smile.

“You okay?” he asked, bumping your shoulder with his own. You looked at him with questioning eyes that only made him chuckle at you. “You looked like you were very nervous,” he explained. 

Closing your eyes, you sighed. “I was! It felt like a meteor hit me, but instead of a space rock, it was reality” you whispered-screamed, looking at your friend with big eyes that soon turned soft when your gaze fell on them. “They seem really nice, though. I’m glad to know that Jisung wasn’t all alone before I met him, you know?” 

“You really do love him, Y/N. I’m glad he makes you this happy” Seungmin smiled at you, his voice full of honesty that made you feel like you had the key to happiness in that exact moment.

The rest of the evening passed faster than you would like to admit; your little home was full with the chattering noises from your guests and chill music playing in the background. The dinner went good too, the table was full and it was like a Christmas dinner or similar, the table full and laughter being a constant proof of the nice atmosphere. Any sign of the existing awkward silence created when Chan and Changbin appeared was long gone now, and you learned a little more about them and how they met with Jisung just like they learned how the two of you ended up together, a story told with additions from almost everyone saying that they always knew how hard you were pining for each other.

Chan started telling how he happened to meet both of his friends; he explained that he met Changbin one night at a party, Chan was the dj and Changbin reached to him to ask him how he managed a cut between two song without it being so obvious (Changbin laughed, exclaiming that even if Chan taught him how to do it, he remembered how the first time he heard it he was shocked.)

Then, both of them usually hung out by the library where Chan mentored Changbin, and one day they saw Jisung with a guitar practicing and decided to ask him what he was doing. Since that day, the three of them started getting curious about song producing, and so they decided to give it a try, being that and their first demo songs the start of a beautiful blooming friendship that lead to where they are now. 

When Chan mentioned their demo songs, you gave Jisung a side eye that clearly translated to him as ‘you’re gonna have to show me those songs’, a look that didn’t Changbin must’ve also caught since he said that those songs weren’t too good and that ‘it was better for everyone to not listen to them’, now making everyone want to listen to them more.

Later, Felix went to your fridge to take the ice cream he had brought and started serving it to everyone with your help. Little Jisu was over the moon because she was finally going to try one of the secret recipes of ice creams that she saw Felix perfecting at the coffee shop, and so more memories were talked upon all of you, not only about the trio of friends, but also about Seungmin and you being childhood friends, then the Lee brothers motivated by Chan’s story decided to tell how they knew they wanted to open the coffee shop. Jeongin opened up too, talking about how he had a lot of doubt joining his current career, but saying that he knew everything would eventually pay off. The evening contributed to you getting to know everyone a little more.

Almost at 10, Jisu was sleepily sitting on Changbin’s lap, you were surprised to see how much she stayed by his side and how the man didn’t seem to mind being with her, it was a little funny too because he seemed to be so tough on the outside, but really all he allowed to see in the few hours he spent in your house he was a softy, and Jisu really knew how to bring that side out of him. When you noticed the little bubbly girl was asleep, you stood up and walked to where he was, but when he realized that Jisu was comfortably dreaming, he stopped you. 

“I’ll take her to her room, where is it?” he asked. You smiled at him as a thanks and guided him there, leaving the noisy living room to Jisu’s dark and silent bedroom. 

You turned on the light for Changbin who was right behind you, and you watched him tuck her in the bed so carefully, like he had done it before. Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to ask him.

“Have you put her to bed before?” your voice came a little quiet, careful to not wake Jisu. Changbin hummed, looking at the sleeping angel in front of him and nodded.

“Yeah, when her mom left, Chan and I were all Jisung had, but we couldn’t help him often, and then we were called with an offer in America and we left.” You listened to him while he was staring at Jisu, your mind imagining these three men trying to take care of a baby, sweet scenarios playing in your head of them learning how to change a diaper and getting scared whenever she cried. “Let’s go back,” his voice brought you down to earth, and he waited for you to step out before turning off the light and closing the door behind him, like a gentleman.

Seeing you walking out of Jisu’s room, your boyfriend watched as you approached the living room with a smile on his face, and when you were close enough he opened his arms for you to take a seat on his lap. You happily did what he desired, kissing his cheek when he wrapped his arms around you. No one in the room was looking at you, too busy paying attention to a horror story Minho was saying from when he was in college to mind the two of you. 

Jeongin was sitting by the table, a piece of cake in front of him that he was eating until he was interrupted thanks to a notification on his phone. When he grabbed it, he saw the hour and he stood up.

“I didn’t know it was this late, I should be leaving, my roommate texted me saying he’s worried” he explained, being the center of attention. On the other couch, Seungmin stretched and stood up as well.

“I can take you home if you want,” Seungmin said, looking in his pocket for his car keys while he waited for Jeongin’s answer. The younger one nodded and added that it would be nice of him to drop him by his apartment.

“Thank you guys for coming, have a good night” you told them when they waved goodbye to everyone. 

“Thanks for receiving us. Congratulations on your new job, Jisung” Seungmin spoke again, shaking Jisung’s hand while Jeongin hugged you and thanked you as well.

After them, Felix yawned and Minho teased him, saying that he was just like Jisu, to which Felix laughed and said that he could be right. They made their way to the front door and said their goodbyes to the rest of you, and that resulted in just you and the producers. Jisung offered to drive them to their new shared apartment.

That’s how you found yourself in the co-pilot's seat with Chan and Changbin sitting in the back giving directions to Jisung who was driving. It reminded you of the first time you got in the car with him and took care of Jisu, then you smiled when your memory replayed all the times you sat there talking with Jisung and admiring him while he drove, he always looked for your hand or rested his on your thigh during red lights.

While Chan was giving directions to Jisung, Changbin chatted a little with you, telling you that he wasn’t too excited to go to his new house because there was a pure mess of boxes and half unpacked stuff everywhere except for their beds.

“I forgot how much I disliked moving,” Chan sighed, eyes closed as he paid close attention to the window. Changbin agreed with him.

Once you were finally there, you saw them coming out of the car. You took Jisung’s hand and with a look you told him to stay there. “We should help them, Sung,” you said. He nodded, knowing that you would be worried if you didn’t voice your kind offer to help your new friends.

“Chan, Changbin, would you like some help unpacking?” Jisung said, helping you out of the car. They were standing nearby, waiting for you two to leave and being surprised when Jisung hurried to open your door.

“Nah, it’s okay. You should go back home, though, it’s pretty late,” Changbin answered after exchanging a quick look with Chan who looked at his phone, probably to check the hour.

“We got this, don’t worry. Thanks for driving us,” Chan contributed, watching Jisung walking slowly to the driver’s seat again. “See you on Monday, Jisung, and see you later Y/N, it was very nice to meet you” he smiled.

“Alright, but make sure to call us if you need anything. See you on Monday” and with that, Jisung started the car and you left. You had no idea when on the way back you fell asleep, but the next time you opened your eyes, the car was slowing down and you could recognize the familiarity of your building’s parking.

“We’re home, baby, wake up” Jisung’s sweet voice called you. You blinked one, two times before sighing and taking off the security belt, stepping out of the car and stretching. You waited for him to do the same and walk together to your department.

“Your friends are really nice, I’m happy you’re gonna work with them. Are you excited?” you asked once in the elevator, looking at him.

“Yeah, I’m excited. It’s been so long since we made a song together or shared ideas for lyrics,” he said, smiling at you and hugging you, pressing a kiss on your face. You closed your eyes, accepting it without saying anything and just enjoying the moment. It was small moments like this when you were glad to start working at the coffee shop.

The elevator stopped at your floor, and the two of you made your way to your comfy apartment. You sighed, knowing that you would have to clean and put away everything that was on the table. When the door opened you finally took off the heels you opted to wear for the occasion, sighing in satisfaction when your feet touched the cold ground. Jisung only looked at you with a soft smile on his face, and he walked up behind you, passing one of his arms under your knees and picking you up bridal style.

“Sungie! What are you doing?” you squealed, acting quickly and holding onto him, afraid that you would fall. Your boyfriend didn’t answer you, instead he smirked at you and kept walking to your room. Once in there, he somehow managed to turn on the light before letting you gently on the bed.

Hovering above you, you were able to see the lust in his eyes before he closed them and finally kissed your lips passionately. Your hands, still on his neck, pulled him even closer to you. You sighed on the kiss, moving one of your hands to his chest and the other tangling in his hair. Jisung took this as an invitation to straddle you, supporting himself with one arm and caressing your face with the other hand.

Soon, the intensity of the kiss ended when he separated to breathe again, pressing kisses on your chin and then travelling down your throat.

“This dress looks so good on you, honey, but I prefer how you look without it. I’ve been thinking about it all day, taking it off you. I’m so lucky that I’m the only one to get to see you like this” he whispered, his voice husky, making you shiver. 

It wasn’t the first time he attacked you like this; it was mostly on special occasions, and usually he asked someone to take care of Jisu, the other times you two had sex it was very late into the night and rather quickly to avoid the exposure to accidents, so him suddenly acting guided by his instincs and fucking you like it was only the two of you in the whole world was one of the last ways you imagined today would end.

“W-wait, Jisung, close the door first” you warned him, pushing him off you. He quickly nodded, making his way to the door and closing it, also locking it and then, he walked slowly towards you who was now sitting on the bed, looking at him with needy eyes. 

His hands went to his belt, slowly undoing it making you bite your lip. He took it off and let it rest at the feet of the bed, now taking his shirt and starting to pull it up until he was in front of you, finally taking that piece of clothing off from his body. Your legs hung open, allowing him to stand between them as one of your hands played with the hem of his pants, you looked at him through your lashes and he placed one hand on your head, patting you dearly before it went down to cup your face and he bended to kiss you, this time more sweetly than before. 

He pushed you gently so you would be on your back, he kissed the exposed skin on your neck, being careful to not leave any hickies since he knew how much you struggled to cover them when you had to go out, he was always mindful of you, unless he wanted to show off that you belonged to him, then he would mark up your neck so prettily for everyone to see. 

He kneeled on the floor, his nose on your thigh sensually caressing you all the way to your right knee, his hands hiking up the skirt of your beautiful dress and then resting now on your hips, exposing your undergarment. Then, one of his hands moved to hold the back of your thigh to put your leg on his shoulder. 

Since the moment he kneeled down on the floor, your mind played images of the countless times Jisung's face was hidden between your legs making you crazy, allowing you to see stars when his magical tongue brought you over the edge. It was inevitable to contain yourself, your pussy getting wet since he started pressing kisses on your legs, torturing preparing you for the orgasm he would soon bring you.

A sigh escaped your lips as you let yourself enjoy the moment, he was holding your other leg open with his hand, allowing him full entrance to your now ruined panties. You were lucky you decided to match the pretty dress with your favorite set of lingerie. He hummed in approval when he saw your wetness.

He had you whimpering lowly, you knew you had to keep quiet but as time passed and Jisung decided to admire and tease you instead of doing something to you, you were starting to grow a little impatient.

"Babe…" you cried out, looking at him with pleading eyes "I need you," but he didn't seem like he wanted to pay attention to your cries.

"You need me? Why, baby? What do you need me for?" he answered, his deep voice making you close your eyes and his words provoking a slight blush on your face.

"I'm so wet for you, please…" you said. It was an obvious answer since he could see the mess he made of you. "Want you to eat me out, please…"

His fingers passed through your needy sex, making you sigh one more time. He grunted, but instead of moving your delicate panties to the side, his face got closer and he pressed a sweet kiss on your mound. When he was done teasing you, he moved away and finally started taking off that piece of lingerie, removing your leg from his shoulder and placing it there again once he had freed you from it.

His lips came in contact with your throbbing cunt, making you groan in satisfaction when his tongue skillfully, dragging it from the center of your wetness, taking a sweet moment to taste you and then going for his objective, his arms around your legs to keep you in place for him to torture you oh so deliciously.

You cursed, eyes closed as you permitted him to pleasure you like he knew you adored, your hand pushing him towards you as an encouragement to keep doing what he was doing, and he never stopped. Your hole throbbed, his tongue went up and down, he sucked and teased with his teeth as well, the sensations overwhelming you but becoming more and more intense, Jisung could clearly hear how you were coming apart and losing your mind from the silent posture you wanted to maintain, but he just loved your moans and heavy breathing when he flicked his tongue a certain way, and how you pulled his hair and you tried to arch your back. You were so beautiful, and to him there was nothing better than to see you like this, so flustered and sensitive from how hard he was going to make you cum.

Feeling how you started to shake, one of your hands flew to your mouth when you knew that you wouldn't be able to resist any more of the sweet torment you were a prisoner for, and suddenly, white hot pleasure numbed you and all you could do was lay there, pulling his hair locks and shaking slightly. Jisung never stopped his attack on you, the overstimulation caused by his tongue provoking a few tears from escaping the corners of your eyes, it felt like something new, like you had unblocked a new level of extasis.

Your high finally ended, and just when Jisung heard you breathing again he slowed down. You hadn't realized he put a hand on top of the one over your mouth to help quiet your cries, but you were certainly thankful that he'd done it, because if he hadn't, your neighbors would think he was ending your life or torturing a poor animal, or even worse, you would have a little girl banging on the door thinking you were hurt or something.

"You taste so good, my love, and you were so good to me too, enjoying how I played with your clit" he murmured, wiping his chin from your essence and standing up from the floor, looking at you with those lusty eyes you'd gotten to know so well, "but I still want you to come on my cock too. Look at me, look at the effect you have on me, Y/N…"

Your hand left his hair to clean your sweaty forehead, you tried your best to look at him when he ordered you to, his pants with an obviously painful erection, your eyes not failing to notice a dark spot that could be seen in the fabric.

Jisung undid the button and unzipped his pants, then slipped a hand under his dark boxers to pump himself, grunting from the touch of his hand against his dick, it was a majestic view you had only seen one time in the shower when he was horny but didn't wanted to wake you up.

It had been after a stressful night at the club full of young college students, he went straight to the shower after arriving home and the sound of the water hitting the tiles of the bathroom woke you up. You had sneaked to the bathroom, curious of the complaining noises Jisung made, and there you found him, with his eyes closed, a hand against the wall and the other around his dick moving slowly while he bit his lip, the water droplets running through his naked body making him appear like a Greek God. You kept staring at him working on himself maybe a little too much, because he ended up discovering you and then fucking you carefully in the shower. Truly, an incredible experience that even if it had been a little difficult to manage, you felt it was so worth it.

Finally undressing himself, Jisung stood up between your legs again, his hand on your stomach and he bent to kiss your forehead sweetly.

"You ready, baby?" he asked, waiting for any signal that could mean a positive or negative from you. One of his hands looked for yours to intertwine your fingers. You nodded, swallowing as you thought how good it was to have him filling you, and second later, he did just that. He stretched you as he entered you slowly, his hand squeezing yours next to your head while his other supported his weight, a quiet moan coming from his lips.

"Oh shit, Jisung! Fuck, you feel so good, please" your broken voice managed to speak.

You waited for him to move, but he asked you instead if you trusted him, and simple as that he shifted and now he was standing, your legs around his waist and arms around his neck, his hands on your eyes as he walked somewhere, the destination being your tiny balcony. You thought he wouldn't dare step outside, but he did and the cold air hit you, and not only that, but Jisung also pressed you against the cold glass door of the balcony.

"You better keep quiet, dove, or you'll get us discovered" he warned, proceeding to fuck you slowly as the moonlight illuminated you.

Two mornings after, you showered and got ready to eat breakfast. Jisu was already awake watching some cartoons as her dad hummed while he finished cooking her lunch. "Good morning," you said, going to kiss Jisung's lips and sitting to drink coffee.

"Hey, sweetheart. How do you feel?" Jisung corresponded to your greeting, giving you a quick wink before turning his back to the almost completed food.

"I'm okay, not too tired. Thanks for the coffee, babe. Are you ready for work?" you asked him. He laughed, but he admitted that he was actually nervous since it was something he was very passionate about, it made you happy to see him following his dreams.

When you were done with breakfast, the three of you went to the car, you would drop Jisung first at his friend's company, and then you would leave Jisu at the kindergarten, and you would go to your classes as usual.

"Have a nice first day, Sungie. Love you, I'll see you at home"

"Goodbye, daddy!"

"Thanks, beautiful. Behave well, princess. Love you both" and after you left him, you drove to Jisu's school.

She was always happy to go, she always talked about how her teacher was so pretty and smart, and you couldn't blame her. He was very charming, you would admit, and not only was he nice to the children he teached, but he also cared for the parents too and let everyone know that they could count on him, he was such a lovely spirit, you thought it was a shame Jisung hadn't met him yet, since it was you always dropping Jisu and then going to college while Jisung stayed home and slept after the long and tiresome club nights.

Turning off the car, you got out of the car and opened Jisu's door, helping her out and then walking hand in hand as she excitedly told you that she couldn't wait to see her favorite teacher in the whole world.

"Good morning, Y/N, Jisu" his smooth voice reached your ears when you arrived at the classroom. More kids and parents were saying their goodbyes, luckily Jisu always showed that she was brave and never spent too long hugging you goodbye, too eager to go play with the others kids to mind if you stayed too long after or not.

"Hey, good morning, teacher. How was your weekend?" you asked him, trying to be polite and show that you were a friend for him if he needed to talk just like he was for everyone else.

"Oh, Y/N, I've told you you can just call me Hyunjin, and my weekend was good, thanks for asking. How was yours?" he asked back, looking at your slightly colored cheeks with an adorable eye smile as he reminded you once again to call him by his name.

"My weekend was also nice, thank you, Hyunjin. How-" you were about to say something more, but your alarm that indicated you should better be leaving for your class rang. "Oh, I'm sorry, it seems like I should be leaving for class! See you later."

The professor nodded in understanding, and you turned and left, careful with your steps to not trip and fall to the ground. When you successfully got into your car, you breathed in and exhaled, preparing yourself for the rest of the day.

That was how your new routine was created; first, Jisung woke up and made breakfast, then you dropped him at work and took Jisu to school and you went to college and once you were done with classes you picked up Jisu and went to work at the coffee shop where you would meet with Jisung and the three of you would get home, some weekends still going on trips and enjoying as much time together as you could.

A few months into the new routine, when you were dropping Jisu at school Hyunjin asked you to stay a little more, explaining that there was an upcoming school trip and he was asking you to go as a supervisor. You thanked him, saying that you would try your best to accompany him and the class as well, and sooner than you had expected, the day arrived and Jisung and you were more than ready to go to the aquarium with a lot of other kids and few parents.

The trip was fun, if you had to admit. Seeing all the fish swimming and getting to know more about them was very interesting, and many kids agreed with you when you said that mermaids were very lucky to live underwater with many beautiful species.

Later, Hyunjin announced that it was time for lunch, so everyone had a break to sit down and eat. You were sitting with Jisung next to you, he was drinking from a juice box when Hyunjin approached you and sat with the two of you, addressing you and ignoring the man next to you.

"You're incredibly good with kids, Y/N, and it really shows. They seem to like you a lot" he said, placing a hand on your shoulder, his eyebrows raised as he spoke.

"Well, thank you. I like being with kids, actually, I've always wanted a big family" you shyly responded, looking at Jisung through the corner of your eye. You thought he would react somehow, but he was too focused looking at the kids who were playing near you.

"Well, you're still young and you seem pretty put together to be a single mother… If you look further you might find someone you could share your life with and get married" Hyunjin mumbled, turning from you to look at his class running around the cafeteria.

"Single mother?" you repeated, eyebrows furrowed as you repeated his words on your head again.

"What? Since when are you a single mother?" Jisung's voice reached your ears, making both you and Hyunjin turn to him. "I thought… I thought I was her father?" his voice cracked, making you open your eyes wide in confusion.

"Aren't you her uncle?" Hyunjin asked, finally acknowledging his presence.

"No, Jisung is Jisu's dad. I'm… I'm not a single mother, I'm Jisung's girlfriend, not… Jisu's biological mother" you explained to the teacher in a quiet voice to not get any attention from the other adults near you.

"You're her dad? I'm so sorry, I always saw Y/N leaving Jisu and picking her up, I thought… I thought you and her were all by yourselves. I…" Hyunjin's hand flew to cover his mouth, he seemed so ashamed from his quick assumptions that his face started picking a pink tone. "I wanted to invite you to a date, Y/N. You're a fantastic parental figure to Jisu and– and you're so beautiful, too… I have a big crush on you, I'm sorry…"

You wanted to answer to his apologetic words, but you were too shocked to say anything, not knowing what words would be appropriate to speak so you turned to Jisung to see what he had to say in regards to this situation instead.

"Look, I can't blame you for liking her. She really is magnificent and I'll never get to comprehend how lucky I am for being by her side. I'm sorry, Hyunjin, but I'm sure one day you'll find someone like Y/N you can love" the sincerity and affection carried on his words made you look down and stare at his hand that had moved moments before to hold yours, you already knew but you loved him and how sweet he was.

Hyunjin smiled at your boyfriend and then cleared his throat, "thank you for saying that. You two make a lovely couple, but… if you ever get to break up, you know where I work, Y/N" he winked, moving to stand up and walk away to get the class's attention and continue the tour.

Neither of you spoke a word about Hyunjin's misinterpretation of your civil state after the trip. Sure, it had shocked you at first, but you brushed it off as something not that important. What you didn't know was how badly those words were torturing Jisung's brain. He stayed up most of the night that day, an arm around your shoulders as you peacefully slept on his chest, his head running wild with thoughts about you and how much you changed his life.

That's how he finally gathered the courage to talk to Chan and Changbin about marriage; he knew he loved you, he knew you were a highlight of his life along with Jisu and he was a witness to how much you and she liked each other. He couldn't ask for anything more, and besides, maybe having a ring on your finger would help you stop getting flirted with when you already shared a life with him, because after all, you were young and full of life, many people approached you and asked you for a drink at college or they also asked for your number at work, and the idea of getting married to you excited him more than it scared him, so why not propose to you?

His friends supported his choice, Chan and Changbin had gotten to know you a little more and you got along with them together, they supported you and Jisung and they also offered to babysit Jisu to give you private time together. They were very considerate, and not only that but they could feel how much Jisung adored you in every lyric of any song inspired by you.

So a few months later, one tranquil Friday evening after work when his friends dropped him off at the coffee shop that was nearly empty (except for the owners, Jeongin, Chan, Changbin and for some reason Seungmin too) you were surprised by his cautious behavior.

Jisu was sitting on Changbin's lap when Jisung took your hand and made you walk to the middle of the place, clearing his throat nervously while still holding your hand, making eye contact with you when he started speaking:

"Y/N, this is where we met a long time ago, and this is where everything began that day when I asked you if you could do me a favor. It was the start of our story together, and after spending many days and nights with you I'm more than certain that I love you. I loved you that day, and I will still love you tomorrow, so would you marry me?" He finally ended his speech with a knee on the floor, Jisu next to him handing him a small velvet box that he opened, revealing a beautiful ring inside.

You were more than surprised now, staring at his kneeled form with teary eyes, a hand covering your mouth as you simply nodded in response to his question, and then he placed the ring on your finger, kissing your hand and then standing up to kiss you sweetly, making your heart melt.

"Thank you, Y/N. I love you so much" and after that, everyone rushed to congratulate you two, creating beautiful memories for you.

That Friday, Jisu clung to her uncle Changbin's neck and waved goodbye at you and your now fiancé, saying that she couldn't wait to go to the fair the next day with him, making you laugh and kiss her forehead goodbye, thanking Changbin (and Chan too) for taking care of her and taking her places.

When you arrived home with Jisung that night, you couldn't help but smile like you did when he kissed you the first time, it was a satisfactory feeling, to know that he loved you as much as to ask you to be a permanent part of his life. You were clingy to him, which also made his heart flutter when you pecked his lips or giggled when he touched you gently, but behind the closed door of the apartment he wasted no time and kissed you hungrily, like a caveman trying the most delicious thing in the world.

You breathed in, corresponding to his rude kiss, your hands on his face and his resting on your waist.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to know you're gonna be only mine, sweetheart. Just mine," he whispered, his breath against your cheek when he separated from your lips to tell you that. He had pressed you against the door as soon as he locked it, attacking your lips like it was his only mission and then going down your neck, leaving a warm trace of kisses burning your skin.

This time, he paid no mind to the 'no marks' unspoken rule he had given himself, sucking on your neck with the sole intention of leaving evidence of the passionate night the two of you would be having to celebrate your engagement, and you couldn't complain. He had given you the ring you thought you would get in a few more years, you might as well show that you're already taken to anyone who crossed your way, it turned you on a little more, if you had to be brutally honest. Seeing Jisung being possessive of you always made you feel like you were one of his priorities, and also showed you that he had no intention in leaving you alone any time soon.

Moving your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck, his hands started taking your jeans off and were now running through your belly under your shirt, touching everything he could as he kept marking you.

"You're only mine now, baby" he growled, separating from you to take off your shirt and look at your almost naked figure, his eyes with a heavy lusty shadow on them.

"... Just yours" you repeated, closing your eyes and taking his face to kiss him with the same passion he did when the door closed behind you.

Your hands rested on his chest, fingers trying to unbutton his shirt, successfully failing at completing the task when he separated from you, placing one of his hands on top of both of yours and pinning them above your head, resting against the cold door while his other hand slipped through your panties.

He groaned when he felt your growing wetness, he found your clit instantly and rubbed it, making you sigh in satisfaction until his hand went down further and he inserted two fingers inside you, this time dragging a gasp from your lips when your walls felt the introduction of his digits. It felt nice, but you knew his cock would feel better inside you, you loved how he filled you.

Pumping his fingers slowly, you started moaning, letting yourself enjoy his treatment. His mouth left kisses on your clavicle, then your chest and when you least expected it, he was pulling your bra down with his teeth and sucking on one of your nipples, his fingers never stopped their work on you causing you to become a wet, moaning mess with twitching legs until you finally came, crying out Jisung's name when your high hit you.

He kept pumping his fingers, having discovered that you did actually like when he overstimulated you once and since then doing it from time to time, this being one of them, and when you blinked your orgadm away, the pulled them from you, loosening his grip on your wrists and licking his fingers clean from your juices as he hummed.

You thought he would be done, you thought he would like to go to bed and fuck you until you screamed his mess in the comfort of your king size bed, but apparently Jisung had other plans in mind, as he undressed his shirt and threw it to the floor with your clothes and pulled you by the arm to the back of the couch, turning you and pushing your back so you were bending over it, his knee between your legs separating them and keeping you from closing them. He started taking your underwear off, his fascinated lusty eyes appreciating how wet you were, practically dripping.

"I wish you could see yourself, you look so lovely, all ready to take me after I made you cum with my fingers. I bet I can make you cum like that again, would you like that?" He asked.

You gulped, "N-no, I want your cock, please fuck me with your cock!"

"My needy baby, so cute. It's 'kay, I'll make you cum around me sweetheart" he responded while his hands caressed your ass lovingly until you couldn't feel them anymore. Soon, you heard him pull his zipper down, anticipating what was yet to come.

"Are you ready, angel?" He asked, pressing the tip of his cock against your throbbing entrance. You nodded, and he started pushing himself inside your velvety walls, stretching you.

With a growl, his hands held you in place by your hips, making sure you wouldn't move from the position he had you in as he started pulling out, ready to repeat the process, meanwhile you were holding a pillow for dear life as your breath got caught in your throat as you waited for him to set up a pace with his hips.

Jisung started slowly, enjoying how you felt around him and loving the way you took him in, looking at how he disappeared which caused him to moan. You, on the other hand, had to resist the urgency of moving. You remember telling Jisung that you wanted him to bruise your cervix, saying that you wouldn't mind new things to which he agreed quickly.

Maybe that was why he had started more than the usual missionary, you were thankful that he kept it in mind, and now surprising you by taking you on the couch, in front of the turned off TV where you could see your blurry reflection getting wrecked from behind by him, it felt incredible.

"You feel so good, I'm so glad your pussy is just mine" he moaned, stopping for a brief second to take your right leg and rest it on the couch to hit a deeper spot inside you, making you start tearing up from pleasure.

"A-all yours" you cried out, inevitably clenching around him when you repeated what he said. You saw his cocku smile through the black mirror that was the TV.

"Ah, J-Jisung, harder!" you demanded with a whine when he found your g spot, the detonator to your best orgasms.

The sudden sting from his hand landing on your butt cheek shocked you, making you moan. "Where are your manners, baby? I thought you were my good angel" he said, starting to slow down the speed that had increased since he started thrusting.

"Please, go hard-harder" you corrected yourself, and once he heard the magic word he instantly did what you had asked of him, provoking you to moan each time he reached where you wanted him, and soon you were clenching around him, legs shaking and walls hugging him tightly causing him to near his climax as well.

It took a few more thrusts for him to find his release, but when he did you felt him filling your insides with his warm seed, a sexy groan coming from his chest and his fingers leaving a bruise on your hips from holding you too hard.

Pulling out from you, he pushed his fingers inside your pussy to keep his cum from hitting the ground, then he carefully pushed you on the couch and walked around it to cuddle with you in his arms.

"I love you" he told you, his hand petting your hair innocently (as if he hadn't fucked your lungs out 5 minute ago).

"I know," you answered, kissing his chest and tightening your arm around his torso in a half hug.

"Let's stay like this for a few minutes and then we can bathe, okay?" you hummed in agreement, enjoying the comfortable silence between the two of you until any of you felt gross enough to want to get cleaned.

You didn't know how much time had passed, but when you realized Jisung wasn't with you any more you stood up looking for him, only to find him filling the tub, a few aromatic candles lighted up, a delicious smell reaching your nostrils. You saw the bathtub was almost all full, so you decided to surprise Jisung by wrapping your arms around his back.

"Let's get cleaned up, what do you say, sweetie?" He said, removing your arms from him and stepping into the warm water, opening his arms for you.

You rolled your eyes, but copied him anyway and rested your back in his chest. The water relaxed your muscles, the candle's scent helped you feel almost like in heaven, and Jisung arm made you know you were safe. Everything was so sweet, until you felt something else poking your lower back.

With a raised eyebrow, you faced your partner with a silent explanation only to find him staring at the love bites on your neck, but you opted for not commenting anything about it.

"You know… I really love you and I'm happy that you accepted to be a part of my life," he said, his deep voice and serious tone getting your attention, so you faced him to hear all he had to say.

"I remember you told Hyunjin that you wanted a big family, and… I know Jisu wouldn't mind having a sibling. I believe now would be a good time to have a baby of our own, but only if you agree with me, honey" he smiled, kissing your shoulder.

"Are you serious?" you asked him after processing his words in your head. He nodded, his hand playing with yours as he waited for you to say something else.

"I would love to, Sungie. I already consider you and Jisu as my family, hell, I feel happy when she tells her friend I'm her mom. So yes, if you're really sure, I want to do it. Let's have a baby" you smiled excitedly, moving to kiss his lips sweetly.

"Then we should keep practicing, shouldn't we?" He joked, winking at you after you ended the kiss. You hit him playfully, giggling at his question.

From joking about it, you two ended up having sex on the tub and staying there until the water got cold and the candles lighted out, and yet, when you were cuddling in bed ready to sleep, you couldn't stop smiling. It had been a fantastic day and even better night and early morning.

Next morning when Jisung saw you walking to the kitchen with his shirt on, he kissed your lips and greeted you with a "good morning, future Mrs. Han," a plate of pancakes in front of you.

"I'm so lucky to have you" you told him, to which he replied with "I'm so lucky to be loved by you."

And you decided that this was pure happiness, you didn't have anything to worry, and you loved your family and your friends a lot, you were almost done with college and starting to plan a wedding. Maybe you weren't rich, but you had everything you wanted and maybe a little more.

After all, engraved in the ring Jisung gave you, it said "for my soul mate", so you had him, for as long as time lasted, and he had you, the missing piece of the puzzle of his life.

You complemented each other, and comprehended each other. What you two had could be considered 'true love', and you were thankful to the universe for placing this single dad in your life, showing you what happiness, and what love was.

"I can't wait to marry you" you sighed, daydreaming about how you wanted the wedding to be.

"And I cannot wait to call you mine legally" he responded, kissing your cheek.

"I've always been yours"

"That's good, because you'll always be mine in the future as well. No quitting now, babe!"

[cloudy-leonhart]

puppy dog eyes. | eren j.

honey's notes: I like to think that Eren is a big dog person, and I had a dream about this fic and I had to write it. I also used to have a dog, his name was milo and he was absolutely adorable.

summary: a new puppy widens your family, Eren never had a problem until he saw you giving every ounce of your attention to your pup! He's got competition and he doesn't like it.

female reader.

theme: fluff.

TW; eren being jelly, swearing, talking abt a baby.

recommended song: oops - Little Mix, Charlie Puth.

"Reader! Let's get this one!" Eren crouched in front of a small german shepherd pup as it scratched the glass dividing them from each other. "Look! He really wants to go home with us! Pretty please, Reader??" Eren looked up at your figure, who was getting a kick out of seeing him beg.

"You're absolutely sure, you want," You stopped to look at the documents taped on the front of the glass, "Milo? is his name." Eren nodded as he put his finger on top of the glass, right on top of the puppy's paw, he looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Don't do that, Eren. You're not snow white, besides there's a sign that says don't touch the glass." You swatted his hand away as he cradled it, a small 'ow' coming from his lips. "Are we getting him or not?" The puppy whimpered and jumped up, the pup looked at you with eyes that told you to take him home.

"You- I-" you tried to object, but Eren was doing his angry frown, he really just looked like the puppy who too stared but you just sighed and nodded, turning to the employee who watched the whole ordeal. "we'll get the puppy."

Eren stood up, as he hugged you from behind, excited. "You better be the one taking him on walks, I'm on food duty." You told him, crossing your arms. "Absolutely! Thank you, baby." He hummed as he leaned in to kiss you, before you raised your hand to pat his cheek, both averting it from your face and earning a loud smack, "Don't do that in public." You jokingly sneered.

He followed the employee who helped you grab stuff for your new puppy. He could feel excitement running through his veins, it did not help that he was thinking of the future, you guys are gonna be like a family! 'This is gonna be great!' Eren thought.

This wasn't great at all! Eren huffed as he watched you pepper kisses on your puppy. It has been a few weeks since your adorable fur baby, Milo had come home with the two of you and at first Eren thought it was great, perfect even. He mentally groaned, how could've he been so dumb!

He watched as the dog took every ounce of your attention, not even sparing him a kiss or glance. Milo barked, licking back at your face as you laughed, "Who's my good boy? Is it you Milo, is it you??" You baby talked to the puppy as Eren further merged with the couch, his hands were crossed on his chest as he glared at the puppy in your arms.

You looked over at your pouting boyfriend, as you deadpanned. "nuh-uh, you better wipe that angry pout off your face, you wanted Milo. You've got no business getting mad at the poor pup." You scolded your boyfriend as he continued staring at Milo, who looked like he was taunting him.

You continued your lecture, Eren wasn't even paying attention at this point, too intimidated by the fur ball sitting a few feet in front of him. "Hey! Are you even listening?" You snapped your fingers in front of his face, as he snapped out of his staring contest with Milo and looked at you, before breaking into hysterics. "Reader! He's taking all of your attention away from me!" He fake sobbed.

"You're being a drama queen! Are you really trying to fight with a puppy? It's a puppy." You rolled your eyes as you picked up the little pup. "See! You don't carry me like that." Eren looked at you with his own special puppy eyes, "Eren, Milo is small. You're literally six feet tall, and your diet consists of cold pizza and a can of pepsi." You retorted.

Eren huffed once again. He caught Milo's gaze on him once again. "What're you looking at?" Eren asked, Milo barking in response. "Eren! Stop trying to pick a fight with Milo!" You stopped Eren from tormenting your lil pup. "I'm gonna jump you later, just watch." Eren dragged his thumb across his neck.

"Eren!" You slapped his shoulder. For the rest of the day, you had seen Eren look like a dejected puppy that was left on the streets. You thought nothing of it until you heard muffled talking in your guys' bedroom. "Listen here, Milo. I get that you're cute and all, but she's my girl." Eren was sitting on the bed, Milo at his feet as he pointed at Milo, who just barked. "I'm the alpha here." Eren pointed to himself smugly as he picked up Milo.

"I'll let you have your fun, okay? But at the end of the day, I'm the one who better be sleeping next to her, without you in the middle, got it?" He squinted. Milo didn't do anything but lick his face, sniffing it, puffs of the dog's breath against his cheek tickled him. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation, Milo come on." Eren tried pulling away from the dog's who only urged closer.

You laughed quietly, Eren somehow detecting your presence. "I'm trying to put him in his place, Reader. Stop encouraging him." Eren scolded you, putting Milo down as you walked towards him, sitting beside him on your shared bed. "Is that how you're gonna talk to our kids?" You hugged him from the side, your chin on his shoulder, looking up at him.

Eren digested your question before he jumped and tackled you on the bed, MIlo barking at the sudden movement. "Is that your saying that I can be your husband?" Eren's grin was big and he moved around like he was excited, meaning he was giddy. "Yes, I'm saying that I'd let you be the father to my kids." You laughed as he dived into your neck, giving you ticklish kisses.

"But! You gotta practice with Milo. He's technically our baby. It won't really cut if you're treating our kids as competition now, will it?" You teased as Eren nodded into your neck, leaning down to kiss your collarbones. You let a content sigh as you hugged Eren, pulling him closer to you.

Eren listened to your rhythmic breathing for a short while, raising his head to find you had fallen asleep. Milo had long climbed on the bed, waddling his way to you and Eren. Your boyfriend looked at him before raising his hand to pet the little pup.

"You're not so bad after all." He smiled.

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

sorry seems to be the hardest word - h.o

Word count: 3171

Warning: angst, swear

Pairing : harrison osterfield

Request: no.

N/A: It took me so long to write this. I remember i asked @soft-haz to write something with the "sorry seems to be the hardest word" vibe, it was so good! But i wanted to write something by myself too. Remember, english is not my first language, so be kind if you spot mistakes, i really try my best. Italics parts are flashbacks

Thanks to @petersasteria because she correct a big part of this fic! Love you. Don't hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Love you all! xx

ღღღ

part 2 (harry hollad x reader) - part 3 (harry holland x reader)

The few rays of sunshine in London today and England's victory over the Croats had improved your mood. Tom and Harry were home as soon as the game was over, they found you sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. You hadn't wanted to join them at the bar for obvious reasons: to keep your privacy as much as possible. Living with four boys was not easy, but living with four boys, one of whom was a world-famous actor and another in the midst of the media boom, was even more so. Of course, fans knew that Tom, Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine had a female roommate. But you've always managed to never appear with your face uncovered in any media activity of your four-favorite divs.

The bottle was already nearly empty and you were already on your drunken streak, not wanting to stop when two of your drinking buddies had just entered. What a good opportunity to continue the evening.

"Will you join me, boys?"

“Mmm yeah, sure, love.” Harry said.

But a problem presented itself to you: the boys drank beer, you drank wine. You had two options now: either open a new bottle of wine for yourself or continue the evening with beer. Your eyes turned to your glass, spilling the rest of the bottle into your jug before swallowing it dry. Harry had a stunned expression on his face as Tom smirked.

"I see hanging out with us leaves its mark."

"You wish, Holland. I knew how to do it before I even knew you existed."

"You've known me since I was 19."

"And you think I waited for you to learn how to drink?"

"Fair enough."

You met the boys in a pub. You’ll never tell Nikki that, when you met them, her precious twins drank too many beers even if they weren’t old enough to drink (technically, they weren’t criminals, drinking beer at 16 is legal and come on, it’s England!)

❀❀❀

So, you met the boys in a pub. It was one of the nights when your friends and you wanted to drink until you're blackout drunk. You were in that pub/club, looking up after one of your friends. She had detected some pretty boys in the back and left you there, alone. You moved around the room without paying attention: glass in hand, your phone you stared at in the other. You suddenly felt an arm blocking your chest with force. The surprise had made you drop your glass.

“What the heck?!?”

“You will not pass, miss.”

“Oh yeah? Why? Is the pope there?” You said sarcastically

The man who stood in your way raised an eyebrow and you looked at him, waiting for a response.

“You are very funny. It’s a VIP space.”

“Once again, why is that?”

“None of your business.”

“Actually, I don't care if Sir Elton John is in that bar or if it's even the Queen of England. I'm just looking for my friend: tall, blonde, balloon-sized fucking boobs, red dress."

“Not seen."

You sighed. The situation annoyed you to the highest point. You had lost your friend and that big asshole had broken your glass. The man in front of you seemed to be marble. Short answer, arms crossed, and an imposing posture. All you wanted tonight was just to have fun. You didn't care that God-knows-who, any famous or rich enough to book a VIP space, was in that bar.

"Would the asshole that hired you tonight, at least be kind enough to buy me the glass you broke with your bullshit?"

From his side, Harry had noticed the altercation. He then walked towards you, he laughed when he heard you insult his brother through the bouncer's fault. And as the Colossus' bodyguard was about to tell you that you could always dream of getting that free drink, Harry spoke up.

“The asshole, maybe not directly. But the asshole's brother. Certainly. It will be on his check anyway.”

“For God's sake, what are you waiting for then?”

And just like that, you met the boys. Harry paid you for the glass that the other jerk broke, invited you to this precious VIP space and you could talk and dance the night away. You had exchanged your social media and over time, your phone numbers. And as fast as you couldn't imagine, you had found yourself stuck in an apartment with four adorable idiots as roommates.

❀❀❀

"Hey, y/n, where are the others?" Harry asked.

You grumbled and grabbed the beer the curly had just opened. He protested as you took a sip. Tom gave you a curious look and you frowned behind your bottle.

"y/n?”

"I don't know where T is, but Harrison's gone on a date with Gracie."

The two brothers exchanged a look heard in the face of the bitterness they had perceived in your voice. It was no longer much of a secret that you had feelings for Harrison. You had feelings for Tom's best friend for almost as long as you'd met him. Harry had noticed it first, because you were much closer to him than to Tom. The actor had understood at the start of an evening, at the beginning of the relationship between Harrison and his girlfriend.

However, you didn't hate Gracie. She was beautiful, kind, and very funny. She really brought out the best in Harrison, she made him happy and you could see that because of the distinct smile on his face. You didn't hate her; she just wasn't you and you just weren't her. And that was the whole problem. Jealousy consumed you and you hated yourself for it.

“Are you alright, darling?” Tom asked you since silence filled the room after your last sentence.

"I'll be fine after one more drink" you simply answered.

You took a sip of the beer you stole from Harry. Drowning in alcohol was certainly not the solution. But you just wanted to forget the blond a bit for tonight. Tom's worried look made you roll your eyes.

"Oh come on, Tom. Don't give me those eyes. I will be fine ..."

“Yeah, sure.” he said with a doubt.

"Can we just watch a silly movie or play a silly game to make my night better?"

Harry seemed to hear you as he shrugged and took a sip of his drink. He knew you by heart. At this point, he really considered you his best friend. So he knew you needed something to clear your mind. Something where your mind should be quick to think about.

“One,” he said nonchalantly.

"Two" you responded with a huge smile on your face.

"You are both stupid." the Holland elder complained about the game you had just started.

"You say that because you're a lousy actor who can't remember his lines. Play Holland!"

"Three". He capitulated.

And you continued like this until 21. Then, there followed a multitude of rule additions each time you reach the number 21. The 7 turned into "I'm a poor liar", the 18 into "I'd rather kiss a guinea pig" ... And every time one of you made a mistake, he drank. After an hour, the game looked like a strange conversation from the outside.

"Squirrels are scary, man." Harry said, mimicking his older brother.

"Black Widow is the best president of the United States" Tom said

"But she’s a bad lay." you responded, with a fake sigh of disappointment

"I'd rather kiss a guinea pig"

"Because you have no taste"

"Twenty"

It was at this precise moment, in the middle of the conversation, that Harrison decided to enter the living room. His blissful smile gave way to an air of amazement and disbelief at the talk between his three roommates. It was Tom who first noticed his best friend. He nodded to greet him. Harrison wore a simple black t-shirt with chinos. You took a look at your roommate and your cheeks flushed a little more than they already were.

"Hello mate! How was your date?" asked Tom with a big smile on his face

"Awesome. Can't believe it will be a year in 3 freaking days." Harrison said.

You could see his large smile, and blissful air. He was sweating happiness and although you were happy for him, it tore your heart. You purse your lips to avoid comment. Harry spoke up.

"We're playing 21. Do you want to land with us?"

"In fact, you can take my place." You got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen to drop off your beer drain. Harrison frowned as Tom exchanged a new look with his brother.

"y/n, you can stay, It's an unlimited players game." Harry almost begged.

"No, I'm tired. I'm going to take a shower and then go to bed."

“y/n” Harrison tried to call you to hold you back a little longer.

But you were already gone. You've never climbed the stairs so fast to run away from your roommate/best friend. Harrison looked at Tom and Harry, worried about your behavior. The curly one just shrugged his shoulders as his brother shook his head, silent. They weren't intending to get involved in this. You were the only master of your feelings and the time you'll decide to confess them to Harrison. That is why they preferred to be quiet.

☙♡❧

You spent the whole next week to avoid Harrison as much as possible. Established more distance with him was your solution to protect yourself from your feelings especially after his one-year anniversary date with Gracie and his absolute cute instagram post. It broke you down. Your heart was in peace but you couldn't blame him or his girlfriend. You were in love with the wrong guy, that's all.

But you couldn't hide from him forever. After all, you both lived in the same house, you had the same friends. So, it was hard to pretend he didn't exist.

Today was not your lucky day. You bumped into him in the kitchen. That was his opportunity to hold you down. He grabbed you by the shoulders, preventing you from burying yourself. Now he would finally find out what was wrong with you. Because Harrison wasn't a fool. He had noticed that you acted with him differently. Your behavior remained unchanged towards the other boys in the house.

“y/n. Don’t avoid me; please, please y/n, look at me”

You have plunged your eyes into its bewitching blue irises. Big mistake. You were drowning now in the turmoil of your feelings for the blonde. He had always had that effect on you, always. Tears started to bead at the corners of your eyes, you were biting your lip to hold back the torrent of tears that was already beginning to flow. Harrison's throat tightened at the sight of you like that and his hold on your shoulders slowly loosened.

“I hate seeing you like this. Please talk to me” he almost begged you

“Harrison…” your voice struggle as soon you pronounced his name.

“Please darling…tell me what’s goin’ on”

As a perfect angel, Tom was the one who saved you by interrupting this quick talk. You wiped away your tears with the end of your sleeve and run away to your room. Harrison sighed in despair. He didn't understand why you were running away from him like the plague.

“Dude, do you know why she's like that. What did I do? » He finally asked to Tom.

"I can't tell you Haz. She's the only one having the right to tell you about this"

"Bullshit. Fuck you all." Harrison said, frustrated.

Then he just quit, leaving the kitchen.

☙♡❧

Sunday came and Tom asked you all to spend the night with him before his LA trip the next evening. It was a normal night with friends. And despite your pent-up feelings and wanting to avoid Harrison at all costs, you didn't want to miss Tom, he was your friend.

There was only the usual gang: Harry, Tuwaine, Tom (obviously) and you. But the tension was felt within the group. The lingering unspoken words about your feelings for Harrison were beginning to weigh on all of your friendship. It was so bad that it hurts to stay in the same room as Harrison. All you could see was his constant happiness, this wonderful man he had always been but in a more radiant version of himself. And you weren't the cause of that. You hated it, you hated being selfish that much. You were ready to sacrifice your friendship with the young Netflix actor for two reasons: you wanted to protect yourself ... and you weren't ready to be that obstacle in the midst of Harrison and Grace's happiness.

You were in the kitchen with Harry, pretending to help him with drinks and snacks. The curly boy could see you dragging your feet, repeating like a mantra this phrase "come on, you can do it ... do it for Tom, it's his night. Don’t be selfish, you can make it." And you really wanted it ... have a good time with your friends.

Sometimes Harry felt guilty for introducing Gracie to Harrison. They worked together as set PA in 2018 and became close friends but not as close as you were with him. You considered him like your best friend. It made sense for him to feel a bit responsible for your broken heart. But you never said a word about it.

“I’m sorry, y/n” confessed Harry.

“For what?” you simply responded.

"For having hampered your happiness. I was stupid to introduce Grace to Harrison and ignore your feelings. I wanted to help my friend. "

"Bullshit Harry. Never apologize for that. You've been a great friend to Harrison."

"But not for you."

"Who cares?" you asked, trying to minimize your feelings

"Me ... you are one of my best friend y/n"

"Just like Harrison is your best friend. Don't apologize for making him happy. Fuck, I'm the one who should apologize." You said, with a tone of anger and despair in your voice

And that's how you crack, breaking in all your sensitivity. You couldn't hold back your tears from falling as you blasted everything that was on your heart. You don't even realize that Harrison is a few feet behind your back. The weight of your feelings, your anxieties explode in the kitchen as when a cup is dropped on the immaculate tiled floor.

“What I got to do to make him love me? What I got to do to make him care? Not as the sweet friend Harry. I’m deeply in love with him and it’s gonna drive me insane! What I got to do to make him want me? Huh Harry, can you tell me? All those question in my head…and no answer to that. And you know what? It's sad, sad situation…more than that it’s a shitty situation, because I'm getting away from him and it makes us sick. Because I'm unable to tell him why.”

“You just told me.” Harrison finally said.

You jumped for a second before you froze. Harry is caught off guard and rushes into the living room stammering an apology. You are trapped. You are trapped and you can hear the footsteps of your roommate coming closer to you, so close, that now you can feel his breath on the back of your neck. Gently, he places his hands on your arms and exerts pressure for you to face him.

"You love me"

"It depends ..." you replied with difficulty

"On what?"

"On what you heard before."

"Enough that you can't contradict me."

Her thin smile doesn't help you relax. Instead, you look down, admiring your two pairs of feet. You felt like being stripped naked and you didn't like that feeling. If you could have kept this secret in your grave. But now he knew and you felt even heavier than the Titanic.

"So ... is that it? Nothing more to tell me?"

"What do you want me to add to what you've already heard?"

"Sorry?" he tried.

"For what?"

"For what? y/n are you kidding me? Sorry for being distant with me, maybe? Sorry for hiding all these things from you? Sorry for not trusting our friendship to come to me and speak?" he exploded…

"What would that have been for, Harrison? You don't love me back…" you screamed back.

"I ... I’m ..."

"See, sorry seems to be the hardest word."

After that last ironic reply, silence fell in the kitchen. So was that it? Was that how your friendship was to end? The great giants of the universe had reserved this dramatic scene for you to break years of bonding. You didn't know how to get out of this situation. You didn't even know if there was a few more things to save. You were broken and had just spoiled the happiness of one of your best friends.

Harrison was silent. He seemed to be probing your body, your attitude, analyzing any gesture that might give him the opportunity to take a step towards you. But the solution was there, finding everything ... It was enough, for both of you, to swallow your pride.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" you echo your previous conversation

"Sorry for not feeling the same as you. For not being who you want me to be to you."

"You know ... I don't hate her."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Gracie. I don't hate her. She makes you really happy. I just hate the jealousy I feel towards her… I hate that I am not her. But I don’t hate her, she's a really good girl."

A small smile dawned on Harrison's lips, the blonde toyed nervously with his fingers and the ring he always wore as an accessory.

"Yeah ... yeah she's great."

"I'm really sorry ... about everything."

"It's ok. We don't control how we feel. I..I can understand"

"Yeah..."

"y/n?" he tried; a little bit shy about what he’s gonna ask.

"Mhmm?"

"Do you think we can be friends again?"

You bow your head, taking a minute to think. Was everything really broken? Were you going to be able to rebuild a solid friendship after this conversation? Were you going to be able to squeeze out your feelings? You sighed before plunging into those beautiful blue eyes that you loved so much.

"Maybe. I hope so with all my heart."

"I hope so too. And I hope you find someone like I found Grace."

"You can always dream. You dripping with love, it's impossible to find someone like you two."

"Don't despair. He might be closer than you think."

He winked at you and you looked at him confused. But after a few seconds, a smile appeared at the corner of your lips. No, you had no hope of him talking about him. But you were happy, because that little sentence opened the door for you to a bond that you were trying to find.

[shhhlikeme]

Wow you are so pretty 😍🤩🥰 it's awesome to see other black writers on here, so I'll give you a request! How about headcanons for Suga, Daichi, and Tanaka with a black cheerleader s/o who crashes their practices sometimes with the squad 🤪 (I'm getting the Clovers from Bring it On vibes lol)you can add some NSFW if you like 😊

Right back at you Queen🥰🥰 I totally agree. I love every hq writer but of course it’s especially nice to resonate with some. Also, thank you for this req!!!!! My dream is to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader & I love vball so thank you for giving me life🥳

Tanaka | Daichi | Sugawara | w. Black Cheerleader S/O Who Crashes Their Practice

Sugawara

He had begged you to come to his practice for months

Absolutely buzzing at the prospect of seeing you there watching

Since Koshi was not playing in games it made him kind of sad so having his personal cheerleader there even once would brighten his week...not day...his WEEK

You said no lol. Because you didn’t want to just crash

But when your school’s gym was being renovated and it was too cold to practice outside you had to turn to your baby

Suga begged asked Takeda if he could please let your club use Karasuno’s gym just once (he didn’t specify that the club was cheer so Takeda assumed it was art club or something !!!)

Takeda agreed because he wanted to play practice matches against y/n’s school vball team so doing this would get them in their good graces

The day your team was supposed to show up Suga divided the gym metaphorically and told the guys what’s happening DAYS prior so they don’t act like fools in front of you or your team

Suga omitted the cheer part again

“When they come, pretend they’re not even here! Let’s start with 4 laps and then some 4 on 4 with Nishinoya as a rover.”

You arrive at the gym with the entire team in Clover uniform and Suga waves at you from his spot on the court before serving perfectly he is definitely trying to show off for you

He served an ace!

But.......not because the serve was good or irretrievable

It was an ace because when your team walked in the boys forgot what volleyball was

Suga shook his head in embarrassment

Unfortunately, Takeda had to move y’all to the girls gym to not waste an entire practice

It’s still a funny story between the two of you till this day

Daichi

Karasuno’s cheer team hosted an outdoor cheer clinic and invited a bunch of schools in the vicinity, including your Clovers Team!

Your new boyfriend Daichi goes to Karasuno and would be practicing a bunch that weekend for volleyball, but he had strictly ordered you not to crash his practice

You understood, figuring that captain Dadchi had the same rule that you did for your team: 0 disruptions allowed. At your cheer practices even phones were prohibited and you put a sign on the door saying ‘do not disturb!!!’

Like people were scared to cross you

even though you were nice

you were the type of captain that loved conditioning

Fuck

Off

Anyway, you respected your sexy man’s wishes out of respect because Captain-to-Captain you knew why he made that rule

But,

When your team was walking to lunch and you saw a group of older men (Ukai’s neighbourhood team) walk into the gym where you knew he was playing, you were kind of annoyed

How could he allow random visitors in his practice?! Wtf

You confidently followed behind them in the hopes of letting your bf know that disruptions are evil.

Your two besties followed ✊🏾 lol

In the gym, you could see Daichi in the middle of a practice game.

He looked sexy and so so concentrated. You smiled and waved

Daichi prepared to receive one of Kageyama’s killer serves but stopped when he saw you walk into the gym

He let the volleyball hit the ground right in front of him as the breath left his lungs

The truth is: Daichi didn’t forbid you from crashing his practice because he was the same type of strict captain as you...

he asked you not to come because he’s never seen you in your cheerleading uniform before and he knew that if he did you’d distract him like never before.

You see Dadchi has a reputation to uphold as captain:

to always appear unbothered and unaffected. He doesn’t want his team to see him as anything but a captain to be feared respected

but when he saw you walk in to his line of sight wearing a barely-there green skirt and matching half top that showcased your sweat glistened toned stomach, your sexy long box braids framing your beautiful face and your full lips pursed together in a grin directed at him —he became mush and saw nothing else but what he was going to do to you tonight

Daichi cleared his throat. “I’m not feeling well. I’m subbing out. Tadashi, take my place.” He commanded.

When the team wondered why their Captain looked like he was at heavens door, they followed his gaze and were DELIGHTED to see you there.

The fact that they could now confirm that Daichi was human and capable of getting out of Team-Leader mode because of a girl was quite juicy

They FINALLY found his weakness and they had every intention of teasing him about it seeing as his weakness was you

The crows exchanged evil smirks and mental plotting nods before Daichi approached you and planted a kiss on your lips

He leaned down to whisper in your ear angrily, though he seemed composed on the outside:

“There goes my perfect record of seeming sexually unaffected around my team.”

You shivered because you could hear the sex dripping from his voice. “ I’m sorry, Daichi I didn't mean to—“

“You can make it up to me by keeping this uniform on when I come over tonight.”

Tanaka

when you crashed his practice with your team Tanaka was excitedly beside himself!

Since your schools were so close to one another, your cheer team and Karasuno’s cheer team were going to carpool to the regional competition together. Your coach had deliberately asked for both teams to meet in the gym that your boyfriend’s volleyball team just so happened to hold their practice

“Oh yeah! Looking good, babe!!! Man, I love my woman in green!”

you blushed and motioned for your bf to stop the dramatics and to pay attention to the practice

He was so overjoyed that he actually listened whut

When he spiked he would yell “That was for you babe!” And you blew him a kiss which he caught and pocketed, getting laughed at for doing so.

He had the best practice ever as you and your friends watched from the bleachers

Tanaka dared any of the boys to look up at you with his evil constipated intimidating face and the guys tried their very best lmaoo

When your bf missed a few spikes he started to get annoyed with himself because he felt like he wasn’t making you proud and you’d come all this way here

While he still kept his spirits up, you noticed his slight deflation

You spoke to your team and immediately jumped into one of the encouraging cheers you do for your school quarterback, only you changed and personalized the cheer to match Ryu!

Tanaka was beyond cured hearing it. He looked at you with pure love!

Nishinoya broke hearing it

Jealous bubbly libero help him

Nishi jumped in the air begging for you guys to use his name in a cheer, too!

With Tanaka’s thumbs up you did and Nishi was overjoyed

Afterwards Nishinoya kept asking you what your cheer bestie’s name was as you assume he developed a small crush

Well, at least double dates should be fun!

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 1

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Flashbacks. Language. Mentions of poor mental health, angst.

W/C: 2.8k.

A/N: Hello! This is the first part of Lay all your love on me. You can find the next parts on my pinned masterlist here.

MASTERLIST 

Your last day on set has finally arrived. It's amazing how time flies when you're busy doing things you really love, surrounded by magnificient people. It makes you forget about your every day routine and to have some fun from time to time.

Everybody was getting their make-up done for the last day of filming. As you entered the trailer in order to get yours done, a sweet, delicate voice called you.

"(Y/n)! Are you ready for our last day?" Lucy asked with a bright smile on her face while sitting on her personalized black chair, which had her name written at the back.

You smiled. "To be honest, I'm not doing too well, I'm gonna miss you guys so much." You said with a pouty face. Lucy said she would miss all of you too. 

“Oh, nice baby bump!” 

You furrowed your brows but then you remembered. You were wearing a fake silicone belly, since your character was going to be pregnant in that scene. 

“Yeah, he’s kicking so hard.” You joked. 

You sat on your chair as your assistant helped you put your wig.  You laughed at your reflection in the mirror. "I still can't used to this wig." You found it odd to wear a blonde wig.

“At least they didn’t give you a perm!” Joe appeared holding two cups of coffee on each of his hands. “Here you have, my wonderful wife.” he approached you and gave you one of the cups. You laughed at his comments. 

“Thank you, Mr. Deacon.” You thanked him and left a kiss on his cheek.

Joe bringing you coffee on set every morning became a habit, one you were very delighted with. He was so kind with you that you swore your heart could just melt for every little thing he did for you. 

And while drinking your coffee, you remembered your very first day on set and how you and Joe started talking. 

Filming had already started by your first day on set. Today, you would meet the entire cast of the wonderful movie you were going to take part in. You felt an overwhelming joy for being part of such an incredible project, not only because it was a big step in your career as an actress, but also because you were a Queen fan. And it was your very first time in London.

Your very first scene was Freddie’s birthday party. You greeted all of your new cast mates before paying attention to the director’s indications. 

You sat between two of your cast mates. One of them was wearing a long-haired blonde wig and the other a long-haired brown one with a strange fringe. You were wearing a wig as well. It was a black-haired one with a fringe and low pony tails falling over your shoulders. Your eyes had a beautiful emerald eye-shadow which you weren’t very comfortable with but you didn’t care, you were another person now, it was your job.

As they started filming, you kept a conversation with the actor that played John Deacon’s role, your husband, of who you didn't remember his name. You smile at each other and them you both joined the conversation that the others were having about Freddie’s life as his mom stood up and looked for family pictures.

The director decided to take some breaks in between the scenes. It was a good opportunity to introduce yourself and to make some new friends. 

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Ben.” said the blonde one who was next to you and you told him your name. The other actors joined him and all of you started talking. There was something strange in one of them, the one who was next to you and introduced himself as Joe. Why was he talking so weird? 

“Why are you doing a bad American accent?” You asked him laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, he looked as if he was trying to find the words to say. “B-but, t-that’s my voice.” he said confused. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” You said and covered your face with your hands. That’s why you don’t have friends, stupid, you said to yourself. 

Your face was burning and you felt absolutely embarrassed. How long have you been on set? Three hours? And you were already causing trouble. 

He laughed. “Nevermind. What an awesome compliment. I mean, I’ve been working on it so hard and you thought that I was actually British but...What’s wrong with my voice? I think it’s a pretty convincing American accent. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.” 

“I’m really really sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” Your face was still red. You wished the Earth would swallow you, you wanted to disappear from his sight. He put his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I really meant what I’ve said, it was a nice compliment, I’m prouder of myself now!” He assured you and gave you an expression that indicated everything was okay and there wasn’t anything bad at what you had said, he wasn’t mad at that. 

You weren’t very convinced but after getting closer to him the following days, you realized that he was telling you the truth and there wasn’t anything you should worry about. After that, you both talked about each other’s lives. You found out he lived in New York, just as you. He was from there but you were from New Jersey. You told him how you ended up moving to New York to study and work on your acting career. Since that day, you both became very good friends. And the same thing happened with Ben, Gwilym, Rami and Lucy, you became close to them because of your new friendship with Joe. 

“Let’s take a picture for Instagram.” Joe suggested. You stood next to him, with your right hand covering half of your mouth showing surprise and Joe put one of his hands on your fake belly and the other did the same as yours. 

Lucy took the photo. 

@Joe_Mazzello: Say hi to the Deacon family! @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody #Queen #DeaconFamily 

~

The director was giving the last indications for the scene. We will rock you. You were on a sofa next to Joe, having a conversation as Ben did the same with the actress who played his wife and the one who was Gwilym’s wife sat there looking at him, while he was looking at Rami, completely annoyed. The girls were very good actresses but unfortunately, they weren’t very close to the rest of the cast and won’t be joining the future tour press since they have another projects in the pipeline. 

“You look so funny in that blonde wig.” Joe teased you, knowing that you hated it. 

Actually, Joe wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful, as always, but he wasn't bold enough to do it.

"Shut up or I'll take your wig off." You threatened him, he mocked you and rested his head on your shoulder.

And after that, Gwilym ordered everybody to join him. He came up with the beat of a new song he had been working on. Suddenly, all of you were clapping your hands at the third beat as Rami appeared and apologized for being late. He asked what was going on and Gwilym explained he wanted to give the audience a song they could perform and be part of it and you all began to sing and clap your hands.

"Cut!" The director shouted.

And everything was done. There were no scenes left, nothing else. After that, Rami suggested to go and have coffee. All of you were sat on the floor and drinking your coffee.

"I can't believe it's our last day." You said.

"I still remember the very first time you were on set." Gwilym said. "And the odd American accent." he moved his gaze from you to Joe and laughed.

"Oh no, please, I'm still ashamed of that." You begged him not no bring that back.

Memories from set were mentioned as you took a sip of coffee. You had a big smile on your face as you remembered probably one of the best days of your life and the best memory on set.

"Who's coming over?" You asked Rami, who was taking his crown off and put in on your head, you laughed.

"I don't know, darling. Maybe some fans." He shrugged. He got used to talking like Freddie.

After Freddie's party scene in Garden Lodge, the director suggedted to take a break and said that they had some guests on set that day.

"I thought we were going to film the I want to break free music video now." Gwilym said thoughtful with his hand on his chin.

"Hey mates, look who are here today!" Ben said as he, Joe and Lucy stood next to you, Rami and Gwilym and pointed at the door.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw them.

Brian May and Roger Taylor were a few feet away from you. Brian and Roger, from Queen, your favorite band, your idols.

"Hey folks, How are you doing today?" Asked Brian with a charming smile. 

Everybody greeted them but you. You were in shock, your face was as white as a sheet and your jaw was slacked. Lucy seemed to notice you and held your hand. 

Joe put his hand in your back and rubbed it softly. “Let’s go outside and catch some fresh air.” 

“Hey, who’s this pretty lady?” Roger asked. He took off his black glasses. 

“(Y/n) are you okay?” Lucy asked worried and the four men next to you turned to look. 

Oh God, you were absolutely nervous. Never in your craziest dreams you thought about having this opportunity. You knew that Brian and Roger sometimes visited the set but you didn’t think they would do it a day you were there. 

“I-I-I’m (Y/n)...” you extended your shaky hand. “Oh sorry for this, but I’m a big fan of Queen and...Oh God I can’t believe it!” Roger laughed and took your hand and shook it. You thought you were going to faint. You could feel your knees weaken. 

“No! I’m okay” You were shaking.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen some pictures of you here on set with these amazing people, you’re doing amazing.” He said and Brian nodded. 

“We’re finally meeting!” Brian said and you smiled with watery eyes. 

Joe wondered what made you deal with so much pain, you'd never said anything about that. He felt his heart broke at the mere thought of you being in pain.

Brian and Roger were absolutely grateful for your words. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming.” You laughed nervously. “You guys don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate you, your music helped me to heal so much pain and I will be forever grateful for that. I wanna show you something.” You said as you uncover your left wrist from your sleeve. You had a beautiful butterfly tattooed and under it, a lyric from one of your favorite songs by Queen, Spread your wings. “I’ve had this for over 12 years now and one of my biggest wishes was to show it to both of you someday and to thank you for everything."

“I’m glad our music help you in any possible way.” Brian said “And your tattoo is amazing. John would be very pleased If he saw it” You smiled. 

“I love it.” Roger said. “Hey Bri, why don’t we take a photo with her for Instagram?” 

“That would be nice.” 

Oh my God. 

"Let me be your photographer." Rami asked Brian for his phone and took some photos of your tattoo and others of you with them. A few minutes after that, your phone buzzed. Queen has tagged you on a post. 

@OfficialQueenMusic: “So glad to meet a fan today that will be part of our upcoming movie. Thank you for sharing your story with us @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody” 

That was, by far, the best day of your entire life. 

“Hey, come back to Earth, where are you?” Ben asked moving a hand in your face. You shook your head. 

“I was thinking about the first time I met Brian and Roger.” You blushed and he laughed.

“Oh, the day you almost pass out” Ben joked and you slapped him on his arm. “Hey, Am I telling a lie?” 

“Of course I almost pass out, my eyes were lucky to see Brian and Roger in person.” You and Ben giggled. 

“I’m going to miss you, do you know that?” Ben asked. 

“So do I!” You hugged him. Smiling. "You know I'm going to visit you."

Those weeks on set made you realize how lucky you were to find such incredible people. After years and years of being alone in your misery. After the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep and feeling like a piece of shit for being so alone in this world, everything was making sense now. 

You never told them about what you had been through. Being a teenager wasn’t easy. You wanted people to destroy the concept that your teenage years are supposed to be fun and those are the best years of your life because when you hit your late 20s, responsibilities are hard to manage and everything seems to be falling apart. Why couldn’t you be happy now?

Now, that you were 30, that everything was left behind. You wished you could say that you were a happy teenager and you didn’t have to fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. There were days you barely could get out of your house and see other people, or even worse, some days you couldn’t get out of bed and shower because there wasn’t any motivation at all. And no one understood. No one knew how hard it was being you, having such an stressful life that you worried about every little thing and it seemed you would never be at peace. You never felt safe. How hard it was to interact with others without thinking that they just did it to be nice to you or that they were desperately waiting for you to shut your fucking mouth. Isolation didn’t feel right. Loneliness didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right at all. You couldn’t keep pretending to be happy, you needed a reason to keep holding on, something that made you believe that your life was going to change, you wanted to be back on your feet and to know that all of that pain was gone.

Maybe it wasn’t so hard to be you, and eventually, you would find out where you belonged. You felt it was taking forever and you couldn’t wait for things to get better. You knew that someday things would be better and that your day would come. Sometimes you wished someone would save you, but you knew that you had to save yourself. If only you could find what you've been looking for. "How could this happen to me? "was the only thing that was always on your mind. You were sick of this life, you wanted to scream. You felt out of place, you were sick of feeling so left out.

And at that moment, you knew that your 18-year-old-self would be proud of you. Proud of the woman you had become and that now, all of your worries were left behind. You didn’t have to worry about that again, but it was still hard to open your heart and tell people about it. You weren’t embarrassed, it was part of you, part of your story but you didn’t want people to pity you. 

You didn’t realize you were almost crying until Joe spoke. 

“What’s going on?” He hugged you. Your vision was blurry, it was difficult for you to see clearly. You wiped your tears with your thumb and you chuckled. 

“I’m very emotional today. I’m grateful for everything that this movie brought me, especially the five of you.” 

There was a broad smile on Joe’s face. “Well, I’m glad you say that because you won’t get rid of me so easily, huh?” He joked. Joe always knew how to make you smile. But he was right, you lived like 30 minutes away from him, you would see each other everyday. “I have a list of places we’re visiting after coming back to New York.” 

“That’s why I love you.” You hugged him again. He smiled.

Joe felt something on his chest. He wished that I love you meant something else than being loved as a friend, but at the same time, he didn’t want to feel like this, he didn’t want to be in love again. Since his last girlfriend cheated on him with his friend, he couldn’t feel anything for someone. All of his dates failed and he decided to take some time for himself.

But there was something Joe couldn’t deny, when you were near, everything seemed so easy, he could look into your eyes and forget the world. 

“I love you even more.”