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kyovtani · 4 years ago

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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)

— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader

— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN

— word count: 9.6k

— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-

— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)

[ part one ]

— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)

"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.

“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.

"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.

"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.

“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.

At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.

After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.

However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.

"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.

The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.

Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.

However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.

Kyoutani Kentarou.

You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.

"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"

"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.

"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.

"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.

You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.

After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.

The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.

It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.

"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.

His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.

"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."

"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.

Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.

After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.

Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.

He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.

After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).

You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.

You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.

At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.

However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.

He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.

"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.

"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.

And then realization hits you.

"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.

Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.

And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.

"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.

“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.

"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”

Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.

"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.

“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.

"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.

"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.

"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.

"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.

"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."

Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.

A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.

It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.

The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.

You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.

"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.

Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.

"But you're not good for me."

You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.

The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.

You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.

Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.

Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.

You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.

"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.

And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.

"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.

“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.

"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”

Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.

Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.

There you are, yet again.

Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.

The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.

Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.

Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.

You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.

And then it hits you.

The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.

Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.

And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.

"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.

You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.

"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.

"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”

You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.

After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.

Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.

"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.

"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.

But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.

"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”

Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.

You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.

"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.

"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.

"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.

“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.

"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”

And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.

"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.

“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"

You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."

And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.

"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.

You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.

And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.

"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.

You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.

With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.

Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.

But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.

"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.

He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.

After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.

You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.

And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.

"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.

"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.

“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.

"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.

Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.

"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.

“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.

"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.

"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.

"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."

"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"

His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.

You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.

However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.

Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.

"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.

"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.

Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.

You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.

“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.

"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.

Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.

Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.

"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.

You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.

The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.

It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.

And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.

"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.

Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.

You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.

Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.

And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.

Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.

"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.

It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.

You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.

But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.

Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.

He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.

"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.

“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.

Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.

But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.

"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.

"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.

“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.

Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.

"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.

"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.

"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.

"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.

“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.

"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.

“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.

“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”

“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.

And then he finally starts moving.

A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”

You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.

His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.

“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.

You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.

“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.

“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.

“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.

“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”

“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.

He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.

You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.

“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.

And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”

You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.

The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.

You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.

"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.

"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.

"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.

His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.

"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.

"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.

Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.

"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.

Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.

"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.

This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.

"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.

Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.

And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.

And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.

[ banner source ]

#haikyuu smut #hq!! smut #kyoutani smut #kyoutani kentarou smut #hq smut #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu x female reader #hq!! x female reader #kyoutani x female reader

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itsclydebitches · 2 years ago

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OFMD Party Drabble #6

Prompt: Man vs. Self

Yes I’m still doing this series WHO CAN STOP ME MUHAHAHA anyway here’s Part One and Two.

Edward was his own worst enemy and after thirty years of putting up with the fucker’s nonsense, Izzy was this close to strangling him.

Of course, he’d been saying that for thirty years, so.

Just text him you absolute, utterly deranged sHITSTAIN

Izzy’s fingers flew across the keyboard of his phone. To his left a woman with a baby snuck a look at his ill-tempered texting, whatever expression he’d contorted his face into, and determinedly stood to find another seat. Izzy pressed ‘send’ with the vicious satisfaction of a warrior descending with his sword.

The reply was immediate:

thats not a nice way to talk to your boyfriend :(

YOU’RE NOT GONNA HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND ANYMORE IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME, EDWARD

you dont mean that 😭😭😭 i just dont know what to say!!! i mean shit Iz he’s a fancy-pants museum curator and i’m slinging burgers all day. how the fuck do i even start that conversation? ‘hi hello i know Iz and he says youre cute wanna go on a fucking date with us’?????

Izzy resisted the urge to lean forward and bash his head against the pole. He didn’t even know where to begin with that. The fact that Edward had never lacked words in his entire, chatty life? That his job was far from just ‘slinging burgers,’ given that Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill was a multi-award winning restaurant with a Food Network spot and a legion of devoted customers? That Izzy had not once, ever, said that Bonnet was cute?

The fact that ‘disgustingly adorable’ might have been a better descriptor was entirely beside the point.

Originally, Izzy had intended to text Bonnet himself, act as the bridge between him and Edward’s rather... unique personality — though he suspected that these two were weird enough that they’d get along like a house on fire. He’d cooled his heels for a day after that absurd miscommunication, got wrapped up in running the restaurant, and then by the time the weekend had rolled around, Edward had decided that he wanted to reach out himself. Great! Less work for Izzy to do.

Except then the idiot had decided he was too chicken to pull it off, leaving them in a weird fucking limbo where Izzy vaguely feared for his life. That Lucius boy might just have been insane enough to follow through on his threats and that was not the kind of Wednesday morning Izzy was looking to suffer through.

Yes, he texted back. Say that exactly.

Iz i can’t say that!!

Sure you can. Put me out of my misery, Edward.

so mean. meanest. meanie. mean-pants :( :( :(

Actually, he should just screenshot all this and send it to Bonnet. Either he’d would fall hopelessly in love with the man like, god help him, Izzy had, or he’d run for the proverbial hills. At this point either option sounded wonderful.

Fuck, but he needed more coffee.

Izzy was just considering whether it was worth getting off a stop earlier and walking the rest of the way to work so he could stop by Ivan’s cafe when a thread of conversation — previously indistinguishable from the rest of the tube’s background noise — hit him like a fucking freight train.

“Hasn’t changed a bit! Wee Baby Bonnet looks like he’s ready to piss his pants...”

Izzy shut his eyes. Surely the world wasn’t populated by acquaintances of Stede Fucking Bonnet, all of whom ended up on his morning route? That was insane. Incomprehensibly annoying. Izzy hadn’t exactly been a saint throughout his life, but did he really deserve this?

Then again, how many people in the city had a predominantly French surname that, depending on its origin, might just derive from a synonym of ‘attractive’?

Sometimes he fucking hated his linguistics degree.

The man who’d spoken sat across from Izzy, just a few seats down, and after a double-take he realized that he didn’t need his eyes checked (again), they were just identical twins. Smarmy looking guys if you asked him, but then Izzy couldn’t exactly throw stones when it came to appearances.

He should ignore it. Really he should. Edward was waiting for a response, Ivan’s coffee was calling, and if he got off now there might even by a blueberry muffin in his future.

Ignore it, Izzy told himself firmly. Just leave, take the scenic route for once —

— and then the cries of ‘Baby Bonnet’ grew louder, accompanied by laughter that was too familiar to ignore.

Izzy closed his eyes and cursed. You sentimental twat.

“Hey.”

The twins looked up, the mirth dying in the face of Izzy’s expression and — while not towering figure — definitely threatening as they sat and he stood, leaning menacingly into their space. So he couldn’t discourage a flirty asshole half his age, but he could still intimidate some identical goons. Good to know.

“Lemme see,” Izzy said and snatched the phone before either could protest. Sure enough, there was Stede, those curls and a bright blue suit — good god with teal lapels? — absolutely unmistakable, even as whoever was filming shook with laughter of their own. It looked like Stede was getting reamed out by some visitor, his hands held up in awkward surrender, protests inaudible against the woman’s yelling. The video ended when she threw whatever was in her takeaway cup across Stede’s shirt. He stumbled back, landing on his ass — hands flying up towards his eyes. Whatever it was had been hot.

What a waste of a good drink. Thank god the suit was ruined.

Izzy wanted to bash that woman’s head in.

He kept his expression neutral as he handed the phone back, the twins sharing wary glances.

“You know that idiot?” Izzy asked — and the smiles bloomed again, identical.

That was all he needed.

“Oh yeah,” the one on the left said, digging himself a deeper hole. “Baby Bonnet was in prep with us. Total fucking pushover.”

“Thought he’d be dead by now,” the one on the right picked up. “Or committed somewhere. Ran him off of Facebook a few years ago, he dropped off the map, but then this gem popped up on Reddit — ”

“I’m sorry,” Izzy interrupted. He removed his jacket and laid it carefully over a nearby seat. The black shirt underneath was rolled to the elbows.

“Sorry?” they echoed.

“Not you,” Izzy sneered. He quickly caught the gaze of everyone else in the car, their attention drawn to the growing electricity in the air. The woman with the baby sighed and got up to leave. Izzy inclined his head at her retreating back.

Then he slammed his fist into the first twin’s nose.

They even went down the same, all bloody spurts and pathetic whimpers. Izzy might not have been as young as he once was, but it would take a lot more than these weak fucks to provide a challenge. Back-alley brawls and two decades of fencing had given him the reflexes of a cat and Izzy’s blood sang at the whoop of approval a few seats down. That’s why he was doing this. It was good to expend the energy on occasion.

It had absolutely nothing to do with Bonnet’s stricken expression in the vid.

When he was done and the twins had fled, with very pretty pictures painted for them about what would happen if the cops got involved, Izzy dabbed his knuckles with an old napkin and rearranged his clothes. The dude who’d whooped finished recording — because everyone recorded everything nowadays, the fucking degenerates — and shot him a small, hesitant smile. Izzy whistled him over.

“Send that to me,” he said, rattling off his number.

Izzy had long since passed his stop, but that was okay. If he was going to be late, might as well be late with a halfway decent breakfast. As he re-planned his route, Izzy attached the vid for Edward, easily imaging the glee on his face when he saw it.

“Had worse mornings,” Izzy acknowledged, pulling up his texts.

Stop being a self-sabotaging twat, you TWAT. Send this to Bonnet with my regards. If we can fight for him, we can sure as fuck invite him to dinner.

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #GentleHands #SteddyHands #OFMD Party #OFMDfic

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kuroosweakness · 4 years ago

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I have an emergency request (if you dont wanna do it it's totally fine) but i've been struggling with depression for years and still have depressive episodes often. I constantly feel like i'm not enough for anybody. could you maybe do tendou, kuroo, bokuto and iwa with an s/o who needs constant affirmation that they love her? Thank you

tendou, kuroo, bokuto, and iwaizumi with an s/o who needs constant affirmation

tendou:

- he gives you tons of affection and “i love you”s throughout the day without even asked

- “y/n do you want some french fries? oh and also, i love you lots”

- “i love youuu ~”

- cuddle-sessions every single day ~

- he also likes writing you love letters or little love notes on post-its “hi y/n, it’s your tendou xoxo” he’ll hide little notes around the house for you to find :’)

- “i didn’t say i love you to hear it back, i just wanted to make sure you know”

kuroo:

- “y/n, did you know that kuroo tetsurou loves you a lot?”

- kuroo likes to twist his “i love you”s around so it’s not just “i love you” :)

- “i love you to the moon and back and to the moon and back a second time”

- “you’re the hydrogen to my oxygen. life wouldn’t exist without you” (a/n: i am so proud i thought of this just now omg omg)

- “you’ll never love me more than i love you” he gives you a playful frown, urging you to argue back

- “i love you more than the last time i said i love you” (which was two hours ago)

bokuto:

- this bby also needs a lot of affirmation from you so it goes back and forth. he never backs off from showing you all the love you deserve

- sometimes he just randomly thinks, “i love y/n so much. like so so much. like my heart throbs when i think of her so much. this strong feeling must be released or else my heart won’t be able to take it anymore... guess i’ll go ask y/n for a kissy”

- “y/n, i know you’re eating right now but i just wanted to say that i love you”

- “bo, i love you too”

- “that’s good to hear :D”

- bokuto definitely searches up “how to say i love you in italian, korean, dutch, german” on google translate and then say it back to you (with mediocre pronunciation... he’s trying lmao, it’s the effort that counts <33)

iwaizumi:

- he’s more of an actions-guy than a talking-guy. he’ll definitely express his love for you more than he says he loves you. things like cutting up fruit for you, helping you with chores, etc etc

- in the morning, the first thing you’ll hear him say is “good morning babe,” he’ll give you a soft kiss on the forehead, “i love you”

- the last thing you hear at night is, “good night sleep tight, i love you”

- his “i loves you”s can also be “don’t forget to dress warmly” or “here, have my jacket, i don’t need it” or “i made your favorite meal”

#haikyuu headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #tendou x reader #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu x female reader

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organic-guacamole · 3 years ago

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episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #seblos #nini salazar roberts #jack hsmtmts #carlos rodriguez #seb mathew smith #kourtney greene #big red #ashlyn caswell #caswell cousins #portwell will be the death of me #guac's episode text blocks :)

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octoariadneeeeexoxo · 3 years ago

Text

Hey guys today welcome back to a rerun of my old main rbcp, rt, sw and tayo ocs

Alois:

Pretty much shes now she got better from her illness, i swapped her color palette with her sister kathleen

She lost an eye over a serious accident and her lost eye was replaced with a porcelain one, and her eye is covered with an eyepatch to prevent it falling out easily

Overall nothing really changed with her personality, shes still the mechanic, but shes not emo anymore- shes an emotional person that cant keep her feelings together

Pronouns are now she/her/xem (yayy neopronoun user !!)

Her skin is darker than the one in the picrew, fellow pinoys go look at ur hands, thats her skintone

full blooded european , fucking hates spiders

Is ok with you walking in with shoes on

….Her dads are very concerned for her (esp kay, he panics every single time alois does something dangerous)

Faybelle:

Still looks the same, but their hair is shorter

They run on caffiene and bl mangas of their pa- i mean ice cream

Half pinoy half korean

Has a deadly fear of slippers, belts, hangers and walis tingting (pinoys ikykyk), and roaches

Theyre kicking you out once you set foot inside their house with shoes on

Looks korean, but they got the pinoy genes (roy is proud)

Nb lesbian guys !! (They/Them)

Yeah theyre a marina fan, yeah theyre queer ..

Theyre still a cop !!

Is the primadonna person of broomstown

Jaimie:

He changed the most, like really

We loveeeee valid lesbians

Pronouns are he/him/her

Has a very messed up sleep schedule, like as much as the average student gets

Hes a mitski stan, dont ask if hes ok or not

HAHA KAZUHA AND VENTI KINNIE (the joke is that theyre childhood bestfriend is dead)

Hes … french .. (REF TO ALL OF YALLS MLB X SUPER WINGS AUS IDK)

Mmmmm i say that hes like marinette, stressed!

Doesnt really care if you go inside his house with shoes on

… yk his job already … right?

Tay:

She runnin w the lbgt 😜😜😜

.. nobody knows why her hair is teal (her dad doesnt wanna talk about it)

3yrs younger that the rest, the gang treat her like a daughter

Yes shes a kpop stan, guys , sorry girls but shes straight (but she supports)

She/Her

Full blooded korean !! She can speak english rlly well actually

A bus driver loved by everyone, if shes absent everything goes wrong

Shes an overthinker guys !!

She doesnt like shoes in the house. Shell just calmly ask you to take them off

I THINK THATS IT LOL

#next gen au #robot trains #robocar poli #super wings #tayo the little bus #lovechild

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incorrectdmp · 3 years ago

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DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 6 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

so uh. wow. BIGASS spoilers incoming

ok so first off. announcement. i’m gonna be clearing out all of the cuttlective quotes in my backlog the same way i did with perlencia so they don’t get too outdated real fast, so i’m gonna post them all in a big quote bomb. there’s 9 of them so i’m gonna do 5 tomorrow and 4 the day after. youre getting these today instead and also i really dont wanna post unmarked spoilers until tomorrow lmao

ALSO SO CHAOS GOD IS A THING. i’m uh. gonna add him to the tag list tomorrow, i’ll start filling out a selection of quotes for him going forward. if anyone has any quotes for him, go ahead and submit them!!!

anyways on with the ooc spoilers

Percy: c:

Yugo gets revived from the dead and immediately questions why they’re in a blockbuster

just casually revive your homies in a Blockbuster nbd

Yugo doesn’t even know about mg’s edgy redesign

Ezra: so we’re in an anime???

You just gotta beliEEEEEEEEVE

MAGICAL GIRL GUN

Mg: i KILLED YOU?? Yugo: i got better

Reverse lotus eater

Juno really just made a wholeass anime here huh

King dedede relentlessly bullies hailey huang

I think its important to reiterate that king dedede from kirby is a relevant and important part of the plot of discord murder party

2go

Happy father’s day to everybody expect artorius

Valencia #girlboss

Ploops working at denny’s is canon

WE GET BOTH MOM AND DAD BACK WHAT A BLESSED DAY

Christine burns junior’s bandanna and thank fuck because i always forgot to draw it

COUNTRY ROADS TAKE ME HOME

Rip tommy’s hair barely knew you

Tommy really just looked death in the face and said fuck off

Yugo: that’s some king shit right there

Even when he’s literally being crushed by a building, graeme garden still is a dick

Grace Girlboss Garden

“Oh shit the bar!”

VINCENT MARSHALL REID LET YOURSELF BE HAPPY OR FUCKING ELSE

The Cranes are built different babey~

DE-DE-DEMONS

MG: i’ll kill you all

Vinny: do it coward

“EAT SHIT YOU CASTLEVANIA FUCK” ITS ALWAYS THE FUCKING FRENCH BLAME IT ON THE GODDAMN FRENCH

“and then everyone clapped”

LOKI WORKING WEEK??????????

(for legal reasons this is a joke i know what alex said in the post show)

THIS TUMBLR SEXYMAN FUCK

The goddamn bit wheel was plot relevant

Chaos God: MURDER GOD HAS FALLEN I AM THE NEW LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS

So guys ezra isnt my hyperfixation anymore

Me: i have very high standards for what characters become my favourites

Chaos god: *exists

Me:

THE BLOODPACT IS BROKEN AT LAST

#out of context spoilers #dmp spoilers #discord murder party spoilers #dmp #discord murder party #spoilers

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tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years ago

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A.R|Just Cry Already

Summary: did arvin fuck up? Oops.

Warning: disapproval and idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

A/n: unfortunately unedited- oof ✌️AND THIS SHIT IS TURNING INTO TRASH- IM NOT GIVIN UP THO

Chapters -> one ✨ two 🤠 three ✨ four 🤠 five

As the week past, you found out that cloudy has anxiety- you guessed the shot caused a trigger for him and just wanted to pull him closer in your arms and hold how you did when he was just 5.

Arvin on the other hand was worried- his sister getting sickness and people still not liking him was just stressful. He seen you around and you guys talked- wanting to put a label on it but just in private. You both went on plently of dates to know that now it should be official- but this time when arvin comes to see you it isnt about kisses and personality- its about help.

He parked in the back of the store, you on his right silent and having a sweet smile on your face that was gonna fade away soon.

“I need your help, y/n” he says simply, but weakly. You turn to him with your eyebrows furrowed asking him whats wrong. “Something with lenora.. shes been sick and ive been doing the best i can but-“

“How so?” You ask, taking his hand and intertwining it with your own, brushing your thumb on top of his knuckles.

“Like every morning she uh- vomits and shes been all over the place- she doesnt want anyone to know but i just need some type of answer” he explains, you hum as you go through your memory digging to find something. And thats when it hit you.

“Morning sickness and her mood is changing?” He nods, you dont know if youre right and if you should say it but-

“Sh-shes pregnant” you hesitated- he looked at you as if you were crazy, shaking his head he bit his lip.

“Please be serious” arvin said sternly. You say your serious and he roughly lets your hand go- pursing his lips in a thin line.

“And how would you know if she’s pregnant?” He asks looking out the window as he wipes his hand that was in yours on his jeans.

“My momma, i took care of her and im pretty sure i know what im talking about. But if you dont believe me then you dont” you shrug, he only turns back to you and shakes his head in disapproval, he then starts the car as you both ride in silence.

“She told me she doesnt need to be picked up from church anymore” he whispers, hoping you didnt hear.

You only hum and ask him to take you home, avoiding anything else except for that topic, he only sighed and continued to take you home.

“I honestly dont give two fucks- i tried being honest with his dumbass but that didnt work” you say, rolling your eyes about the thoughts of yesterday.

“Yeah fuck him, he doesnt need you anyway-“ cloud got cut off by a car pulling up- the sheriffs car. As you both started to walk slower and come to a end he stopped the car- looking exactly at you.

“Get in- both of you” he says sternly now shifting his eyes at cloud, you turn to cloudy and see his breathe is quickened but you nod at him and go to the car.

“You front seat” he says, you sigh and open the passenger as cloudy enters the back.

You both knew better to fight a white man- it was no use.

“Hungry?” He asks, you only nod not wanting to piss him off, he quickly drives to a restaurant.

Cloudy is smackin on the buger avoiding contact and filling his cheeks while you sat there playing with the french fries- waiting for the sheriff to say something-

“Look- im not here to you know- hurt you but i do need to talk” he simply says easily, you only say what is it and sit up straight.

“I know you both were at the river- what happened?” He asked looking at you while cloudy almost choked on his food. It caught both of your attention as you both looked at him.

“My mouth is full...” he have a weak smile and lee nodded turning his attention to you.

“We didnt really hear anything honestly- we were talking about his school and how hes doing. We walked on the concrete slightly near the river but not close enough to see or hear anything really” you simply lie, not to fast but not to slow, just enough to seem to be telling the truth.

“Oh... uhm- are you sure you didnt see anything?” He asks again, you simply shake your head no- cloudy silently thanking god that your a good lair.

Lee stared you in the eye intensity trying to tell if you were lying or not, but of course you didnt get caught- you learn from your mistakes.

After the chit chat with the sheriff you learned that he wasnt that bad of a person- he offered to talk to the school about the problems and the un fair treatment but you both declined- it would only get worse.

He took you both to the car and you both just sat- the sheriff gone as you and cloudy look at each other, he suddenly pops up the question.

“Didnt you guys just confirm?” He tilts his head, you smack your lips and roll your eyes throwing yourself back in the seat as you only nod.

“Well then talk to him or something, we gotta get home anyway” “like i said before- fuck” “him” you look at cloudy as he finished your sentence, he gives you a smile when you grin and start the car.

“FUCK!” Arvin yells kicking the bed- you know when you think back on something and you wanna kill yourself for it? Yep- thats arvin alright.

He then sat in his bed, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood- cursing himself out for his anger issues.

But then he thinks about it- ‘what if shes pregnant?’ ‘Nope y/n is just lying’ he only went back and forth with himself, it only ended up for him falling asleep.

Taggie! @jeyramarie

#tom holland x reader #arvin russel x reader #tom holland x black!reader #arvin russel x black!reader #tom holland series #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #arvin russell #tdatt #jb writes

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arthurflecksgirl · 4 years ago

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Subway scene /Arthurs POV

The subway is moving forwards, while everything inside of me is standing still. Frozen. Numb even. The numbness takes over me, except for the real bad headache. I shouldnt have done that. Hurting myself. But sometimes I just cant help it. Sometimes the sadness turns into anger and I dont want to hurt anyone, so I punish myself instead of anyone else. Instead of the people that hurt me all my life. I just sit there and take it, and try to cry my eyes out afterwards, but I cant even do that. Not a tear.

Silence. At least on the outside. Inside of me silence doesnt excist.

I don`t say much. I would love to talk a lot actually, but I gave it up when I realized that people won`t listen anyway. I prefer to write in my jornal nowdays. Its saver for me. My journal can`t missunderstand me. At least I hope so.

But yeah… if only they would give me the chance to explain myself. They would notice that I`m a good guy. But they won`t. To them it doesnt matter how big my heart is or that is filled with lonelyness. I do write my jokes for OTHER people. To make them happy. To be seen as someone who want to spread positivity. But they remain unheard. My jokes are only scribbles in my journal. At least up until now. I`ve got the feeling that change is about to come. Like….I can feel soemthing growing inside of me. Not sure what it is though. Its just a gut feeling but trusting my feelings is another story...

I look outside the window. Graffitys on the dirty surface cover half of my reflection. Half of my face, a blurr. Funny because thats how I feel right now. I notice how worn out my face must seem to others. A sad eyed clown, abandoned from the rest of the world. I can`t smile for anyone today. Not after Hoyt fired me. How could I ever tell my mum when I get home? I just told her that she shouldt worry about money, or me. That my stand ups are ready for the big clubs. And now I got nothing left. Not even my job, which I loved. Mum and I didnt had much money but it was enough to get us through. What now? She`ll be so dissappointed in me. I wanted make her proud. I wanted her to watch her son up on the stage, thinkng “I`m so proud of him. He really made it. ” But all she is going to say now is “Oh happy. I guess you just weren`t funny enough”.

I turn around and face the seats, trying to get eye contact with a lady. I crave human connection so much. It would feel so good if she would just look me in the eye for a second. It would be like a proof that I am here and people notice. But she doesnt. Maybe she`s too caught up in her own thoughts. Maybe she questions her own existence just like me.

The doors open, she gets up and leaves. A deep sigh is escaping my painted lips. Three guys are getting in, talking about a girl they danced with. The conversation caughts my attention. Sounds like they were at a dance club or something. I`ve never been at one, so I try to hear all the details about how a normal guy would manage to make out with a girl. I really could need some good advice, but after only a few seconds I realize that the guys must be drunk. One of them claims that the girl was in love with him, while his buddy says it aint true. Nothing to learn here.

It is now that I realized that there is a pretty girl sitting across me. “Want some french fries?” one of the drunk guys asks her and the way he does so makes me feel uncomfortable. Him trying to get her attention feels wrong.

“Helloooo?” .

“No, thank you” The girl seems annoyed. “They`re real good!” he says, before he starts throwing the food at her. “C`mon” the other one says “He`s being nice to you”.

The girl just wants to read her book. Why would they even bother her? I have never been on a date before but this sure isnt how I woud treat a woman. I would try to be a gentleman. To become a beautiful memory which she writes down in her diary when the day is done. I want to become a romanic page in a womans diary. A poem. A lover.

I take a look at the cover of what she is reading. Alice in wonderland. I like that. Alice knew how to create a world of her own. Reality couldnt bother her anymore. But her dream world did. I guess there is just no way to escape your own mind.

I get nervous, noticing that she makes eye contact with me. I was longing for eye contact just minutes ago but now that this pretty girl looks right at me I`m sweating. I guess she wants me to say something to them. To step in and tell them to leave her the fuck alone. The friendly clown looks like he could help her out. And I want to. I want to stop them so bad. I want to get up to those guys and tell them to fuck off. To leave the girl alone with her book, Alice and her imagination. But my body won`t let me. I am frozen. My legs won`t move. I`m just sitting there. What kinda man am I, to not help her out? Just a sad clown on the subway. Nothing more. All I wanna do is cry.

And there it comes….. hmmm... haha. I shake my head. No. please not now. Not in front of a pretty girl and some bullies. This is bad. I`m in deep shit now. I can`t hold it back. The pain. The urge to cry, to shout out. To scream.

The laughter. Its making its way up my throath again. I want it to stop! At the same time there is something inside of me that acually thinks that this is funny. Those drunk idiots trying to impress a girl by throwing french fries at her and I`m actually hoping to learn something here when they came in. What a joke.

I can tell by their dirty looks that I already caught attention . The wrong kinda attention. the kind of attention I`ve never asked for. Leave me alone to cry.

“Is something funny, asshole?” his voice is hurting me. I try to tell him that he should ignore my laughter by gestures, but he doesnt get it. I guess the girl is scared of me now which makes it all so much worse.. She passes me by,disappearing, as the guys throws stuff at her “Bitch!”

Hahahahhahahah. I reach the point of pain right now. My throath feels sore from trying to hold it back. My heart tired from asking myself why I am still laughing.

And just as the pain starts to spread its fire on my insides, the guy comes up to me, starting to sing. I know that song. I know it well. “Isnt it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground. You in mid air. Send in the clowns.”

A chalkboard. Chairs. That smell. My teacher looking at me like i´m a freak. Fists. And more fists.

With every step he comes closer I get flashbacks from getting bullied at scool. The look in his face. in his eyes. I know that kinda look. He`s a fucking bully. And I`m his victim. Nothing new I know. But that song…it really gets me. I love Frank Sinatra. His music means so much to me. It hurts that this guy is using it against me like a weapon.

“Isnt it bliss. Dont you appprove? One who keeps tearing around, one who cant move?”

Yeah….thats right……hahahahhaah I CANT move while you are dancing around like an idiot. Hurting me. Do you have any idea how much you are hurting me? Look at my face. I´m hurt. I`m in pain. But people never notice and you keep on dancing. You`re the one who is laughing. Not me. I`m crying while I have to listen to your terrible interpretation of Send in the clowns. You can`t even carry a fucking tune!!!!

“Send in the cloooooowwwnnnsss” he sings, his eyes focused on me in a disgusting way, while the other one is sitting down next to me. I feel intimitated as he grabs my Carnival wig, exposing my real hair , while I cant stop laughing with pain in my eyes. Not the wig. Please not the wig. I need it. I cant afford another one and I have to find a new job as a clown soon.

“There ought to be CLOOOOOOOWWWWNNSSS…..” the first one looks at me in anger, the second one putting my wig on, laughing right into my face. I can smell the alcohol in his breath. The way he laughs at me. So rude. Just like back in scool. I`m back in scool. This is a nightmare. Why would they want to hurt me? Don`t they realize I just want to be left alone? I wish they would go away. Why is no one else around? But I guess I dont deserve someone saving me. I wasnt even able to hold them back from annoying the girl.

“So tell us buddy. Whats so fuckin funny?”

“Nothing!”. Finally my chance to explain myself.

Hahahhahahah “I have….I have a condition” I try to catch my breath. Its so hard to breathe, so hard to talk between the laughs. My hand reaches for the card. I have to read it out loud, so they know.

Its too late.

“I´ll tell you what you have, asshole” he replies, grabbing my bag. I try to get it back, but the other is fast, holding me back. Grabbing me violently from behind, while the first one tries to attack me. I cant belive this is happenening.

I cant use my arms. This is worse than being handcuffed. I kick the guy in front of me. Kinda shocked I was able to make a move.

“We got a kicker, huh?” he says. “Hold him steady, hold him steady” he screams, right fore he punshes me right in the face ,so hard that the other one lets go of me. The next thing I feel is hitting the ground. Hard. Lying there with a sharp pain that makes its way althrouh my body. I lie on my right side. My ribs hurt´. My head is pounding, hands touching the dirty ground, trying to figure out if this is really happening ? I cant move. Freezemode is taking over. . I just cant do anything but take it like a good, little boy.

I`m a kid. Just a kid again. And its dark. And I dont know where I am. Or what day it is.

“Stay down,freak!“

Happy

Freak

Arthur, my name is Arthur.

They kick me in the back.Harder. All three of them now.

For a moment I am afraid they will kick me to death. Three guys and some clown, paralyzed on the floor? I could definitaly die in here and no one will ever know. I`m not afarid of dying. But this isnt how I want to go. Not on the floor. Not while getting kicked by some assholes. They would step over my dead body and I would remain invisible..I cant let them do this to me. Not again.

Is this my inner voice talking? The one I used to feel lately? Is this the blurry part of my reflection?

I feel my left arm moving and remember the gun. The fucking gun Randall gave to me. The weapon that brought me nothing but trouble. Maybe this thing will be good for something eventually. Maybe it will save my life. Well Randall. Sorry for ruin your plan.

Those guys will get what they deserve now.

Bang! Bang!

That was fast. One is already on the ground.

Bang! Bang!

I never thought it could be so easy to defend yourself.

The other one is hitting the subway door.

There is blood but no time to take a look at it. The third one tries to run away as I fire the gun one more time. I only caught his leg. He`s liping, as I grab my stuff, trying to catch my breath. To get my thoughts straight. The gun in my hand. God. there is a gun in my hand. Still. For a brief moment I seem to lose all orientation. Did i just killed someone? What should I do now? What about the third one? My mind is all over the place.

Breathe, Arthur. Breathe. I have a lump in my throath. Not sure if from the laughing or from the panic.

The sound of the guy banging against the subway door awakens me from my thoughts. The door opens and he tries to get away. But he won`t. I`m a fast runner and he can barely walk. I have to finish this now. Just one more guy. I have to bring this to an end. One more shot. He falls to the ground.

How does it feel there, on the dirty ground? Can you taste the concrete? Because I did.

Can you feel the cold against your aching bones? Well, I did. And it was crawling up its way on my insides.

You killed me first.

Every single one of you bullies.

You killed my hopes and dreams.

My innocence.

This is what you finally get.

Do you see me now?

Can you feel, that I am real?

Because I am.

And so is this gun.

I ran up close to him as he screams, trying to crawl closer to the stairs.

No one heard MY whimpers when I thought I was almost dying in the alley.

I fire the gun. Bang Bang Bang. Until there are no bullets left. Until he doesnt move anymore.

Freeze mode, huh? How does it feel?

One who keeps tearing around. One who cant move.

And then… silence.

Exept the noise in my ears. I take a short look at the body lying in front of me. He really is dead. Huh. . Kinda surprising what a gun can do.

I press my hand against my ears. That noise. I hope there will be music again, soon.

I take a look around. No one is there. Time to grab my stuff and get gone.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I can and feel myself changing with every step I take, with every short breath I become something.

There is a glow inside, as I run into an unknown desitination, my shadow ahead of myself

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfiction #arthur fleck fanfic #joker arthur fleck #joker fanfiction #joker fanfic #fanfiction #dc #joker 2019 #joker movie #arthur fleck imagine #joker imagines #pov #joaquinphoenix #joaquin phoenix joker

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sergeant-donny-donowitz · 5 years ago

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The Real You (DonnyxFem!Reader)

Requested by @ladolcedea

@owba-chan @war-obsessed @inglourious-imagines @tealaquinn @struggling-bee @frozenhuntress67 @kwyloz @sodapop182

Let me know if you wanna be added to the IB or OUATIH taglists! :)

________________ You were working as a bartender in a pub in Belgium for as long as anyone knew. Meaning, you were 'trustworthy,' enough to hear things from collaborators, the resistance, any and everyone that walked into the pub on the corner of an occupied Belgian town.

Aside from the careless prattle and discrete whispers from drunken soldiers, and nameless fighters, you had a keen ear for languages that were not your own, under a name that wasn’t your own, tucked away in a town that was not your own.

In fact, most of the people that stopped by in that pub were far from home, and took a drink or two to get war off their minds.

But not off their tongues.

Now, there was a particular group of men with a penchant for whiskey and beer, who happened to stumble into that pub one day, just days after parachuting into France.

It had been a year or two since then, and by then, those boys knew what you knew: Hearsay mattered, and it mattered a lot.

So they often hung around your pub in between missions, getting clued in on a lead or two.

But after all that time drifting in and out, something else began to matter.

And to a young yank sergeant named Donny Donowitz, you started to matter.

He couldn't lie to you anymore.

There was something you needed to know.

He stood at the other side of the counter as you dispatched cheap cognac for a brash collaborator who was a regular, and rhye for a Canadian spy, hidden in the lion’s den, who you knew by name. You gave him a double, with a knowing, empathetic nod and smile.

You glanced at a booth in the back of the bar, spotting nine others basterds just like him, wearing stolen uniforms, and then Donny himself, at the counter, like always.

"Another round of shots, sergeant?" You whispered, knowing they had to keep quiet and stay low there. You couldn’t believe there was not a single basterd that didn’t speak French or Dutch. Though, you winked, and smiled as you started to line a few glasses up.

"No, Veronique..."

You sighed, you forgot sometimes that they knew you by a name that wasnt yours.

Still it was the only way.

You grinned, "No?"

"Well...yeah, for Aldo, Hirschberg and Wicki. But, what I meant was...uh...There's somethin' I wanted to tell ya."

"Really?" You leaned over the counter, resting your elbows on the granite, and your chin in your hands as you looked up at him, as you mused, "Then tell me."

He nodded and said, "I'm a basterd."

"Darling! Everyone knows that!" You laughed as you poured three drinks.

"No. Not a bastard. One of the basterds." He spoke a little too brashly, too exasperated for someone trying to keep his cover, and his head from being blown off.

It might have been the dumbest thing he’d done. So dumb, it caught you off guard. "Oh?"

"I'm the Bear Jew." He sort of puffed his chest out, with pride, tilted his head up a little, his jaw jutted out, as if he wasn't impressive enough.

But, you shrugged, trying to play it cool as a way to get him to quiet down, for his own good. "Oh yeah?" And poured some drinks out for other waiting patrons. You looked up at him with a gleeful wink, as you slipped into an almost playful whisper, "And I'm a Soviet spy."

"No but-"

Then, two of the basterds pulled him back.

They'd heard him admit he was basterd, and the Bear Jew, all the way from where they were sitting..of course, he was generally a loud guy, he was from Boston, for crying out loud, and a basterd no less.

But...they knew he'd say it again to get you to understand it wasn’t a joke. So they dragged him back, along with the drinks, and a quick, clunky “danke” to cover it up.

The night went on, and Donny kept glancing out to you, wherever you were in the bar. He wanted you to realize it wasn't a joke. Not this time.

See, from the first time he spoke to you, he made you laugh.

He liked hearing you laugh, it made him feel as though there was no war. Nearly everything he said to you was a joke, which he was beginning to rethink since you now probalby thought this was also a joke.

A little later in the night, you got to their booth, just before closing time, with another round of shots, and you smirked as you whispered, "On the house, boys."

Aldo smiled, "Veronique, you really know how to take care of us, huh?" He smiled kindly, seeing the glances you and Donny exchanged, so he nudged Donny.

Donny hung back a little as the rest of the basterds and the drunken regulars shuffled out at closing.

"Veronique?"

"Yes?" You smiled a little, but kept wiping down the tables.

"Come on, V." He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You giggled and turned to face him, "Yes, darling?"

He sighed as he looked down. They were going back to France, and he wasn't sure if or when he'd come back. That was war, after all.

You knew what he was goinf to say. You shook your head "No..." You looked away, smiling softly "Don't do this. Not now..."

He couldn’t go another day without saying it. No matter what you did, you couldn't stop him from saying it. He smirked a little as the words sank into your heart. "I love you."

Part of you wanted, no...needed him to be joking about that. It would hurt a whole lot more, knowing he knew a whole lot less than he thought. To begin with, he didn't even know your real name... It hurt, because you thought, somehow he'd know. He'd find out, and he'd hate you, because he never knew the real you. So, it took you a moment longer to respond than it should have, but, that was one thing you couldn't lie about to him.

You said something that was, perhaps, too true, "I love you, too."

He looked away for a moment, then back at you. "About what I said earlier, I need you to know wh-"

You shook your head, "Say no more."

"But you don't understand! I-"

You laughed a little, and kissed him.

He was stunned for a moment, but he smiled, looking at you, as you reassured him, "I understand more than you think."

He was unsure what you meant, and he wouldn't ask.

He realized the less you knew about him, maybe the safer you'd be.

So he left, with the rest of the basterds, and marched back through enemy lines.

*************

The basterds were on a mission from the OSS.

"That...is the most security I've ever seen in my goddamn life!" Smitty marveled from the basterds�� perch, behind a grove, watching a mansion, surrounded by nazi guards.

Aldo smirked, "You boys thinkin' what I'm thinkin’?"

"Take em shitbags down." Hirschberg was practically bouncing from excitement.

Wicki nodded, with a slight smirk, "Whatever it takes."

An allied spy ring was compromised, and all captured members were being held and interogated there by nazis.

One by one, the basterds took down each nazi in their way, and made their way through the mansion, securing each missing agent. Omar, Aldo, and Donny were outside of a room, where they could hear two muffled voices. They were speaking English.

One was marked by a German accent, demanding answers from a beaten, bloodied spy, "WHERE IS HE?!"

Followed by a woman’s voice, shaking through a forced breath, with a distinct accent the basterds recognized. "Wh-who?" Still, it was tinted with a shade of a snicker.

The nazi raged, "THE BASTERD IN THE BAR, WEARING A STOLEN UNIFORM."

"Everyone in that bar is a bastard. Most of them have some uniform or other."

"THE ONE THAT YOU SPOKE WITH."

The basterds heard a blunt thud, followed by a cough, forcing through blood, "I told you. I'm a bar tender. I speak to everyone in that bar."

"You speak English well for a simple bar tender."

"You speak English well for a German."

Donny’s mouth dropped. Only one person could sass like that.

He shook his head in shock, mouthing "Nooo..." it just couldn’t be...

The nazi snickered, as he stepped torward you, "If you dont tell me the truth..." He seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"Yes, Fritz?"

The nazi snapped, hearing you say his name, "You were my friend, Veronique." He grabbed your hair and pulled you to him.

Donny’s heart stopped. It was you.

The nazi swung, his fist bashing against your nose for the millionth time, "Or should I say, Y/n."

"Fritz, please, not in public." You looked up at him grinning through the blood pouring from your nose, beginning to drip into your lips.

He shook his head, pulling a knife out, pulling your hair up, giving him a clear strike at your throat.

"Of course you know what this means, Y/n..."

"C’est la vie." You shrugged and grinned looking up at him.

"You're not even French! You’re not even Belgian! What....you,” He laughed in disbelief, through years of insult, and deception, “You, liebling, you played me for a fool. You've had a nice run. But....” He sighed, and tsked “You've been such a dear little thing to me... How about I give you one last chance."

"Is that right?" You gathered a breath or two, your eyes slowly moving up, through gushes of blood from your forehead, and pained, swelling from a black eye.

"Tell me where the Bear Jew is, and I’ll let you live."

"No." You knew it was useless. Even if you did live, it would be underground, in a prison, or in a camp. You wouldn’t live for long. Besides, you loved Donny too much to give him away.

"Well then I'm afraid you’re useless to me, my dear Veronique.” He basically spat at the name. That name was a lie, he’d whispered state secrets to it for years. “Then, I'll have to-" His threat was interrupted by a thud, then a sharp, pained gargling, followed by another thud.

"Hm? I'm listening?" You cocked your head to the side, with a slight grin.

He dropped to his knees, his skull bashed open.

You saw Donny standing behind him, his baseball bat in his hand.

He was torn when he saw you covered in your own blood. He kneeled by you, pulling his jacket around you, "Hey, hey Ver..." He didnt know what to call you anymore, but he still knew his heart was still in your hands. "Come on doll, we got you."

He wrapped his jacket around you along with an arm to help you up, "I got you..."

He looked at you, your black, swollen eye, and he gently touched your chin up, trying to see what those animals did to you.

You flinched when he touched your bruised cheekbone, and he couldn’t help but mutter, "What did they do to you..."

You managed to smile. A real one this time as you held his hand, "Nothing I didn't train for."

"Train for?" He furrowed his brow, "And...why’d that asshole keep callin’ you Y/N?"

"That’s my real name."

"Real name? At.. What are you? Why were they asking..why are you here?"

"I told you, back in the bar. I'm a soviet spy."

"I thought you were joking!"

"Why would I be joking?" You raised your eyebrow and winked with your good eye.

"That! That's why!"

Then you heard a third voice, "Yeah I don’t know kid. Joking’s more of Donny’s thing than yours."

You turned and realized all the basterds were there, with some of the other spies... Some of them didn’t make it...

Aldo sighed and grunted, "Omar, why don’t you keep your fuckin' mouth shut, let em talk." You smiled gratefully as Aldo ushered everyone out.

"W...well what happened at the bar? How-"

You shook your head, "That's not important."

You heard a voice feom the hall just outside, "DID THEY OVERHEAR DONNY TELLING YOU HE WAS THE BEAR JEW?!"

Followed by Aldo grumbling "ULMER."

Donny looked to you and you both laughed.

"So... You're really a Russkie huh?"

"Konechno." ‘Right.’ You smirked and winked.

"...all this time...but..I... You knew everyrhing about the town, you spoke all the languages. You were...I thought...everyone thought you were fucking Belgian!"

You shrugged, "That’s the point."

He managed to mumble in awe, "Prove it." You rolled your eyes, holding your right hand up to your bloody nose. Completely disarming him, and knocking him to the ground with your left hand, in the blink of an eye. He looked up at you, his lips parted, a gasp of shock, admiration, and....well, two kinds of admiration.

"Holy shit..." was all he could mumble, as he smirked, and held his hand up to his jaw, moving it side to side to counter a dull pain as a result of that stunt. He pulled himself up, and you smiled a little, your hands wrapping around his suspenders as you looked up at him, "I'm sorry, solnishko." He smirked a little, "That don't sound like Belgian..." You rolled your eyes, "Belgian's not a language, Donny." "I knew that...." He laughed as he wrapped his arms around you.

***** The basterds took you and the rest of the spies to an OSS hideout.

You were sitting on a cot, after a medic set your broken nose, and gave you a pill to get the dull pain to subside. You heard a not-so-subtle not, and looked up to see Donny. Your face flushed, a little shame beginning to rise up, still guilty, feeling as though you'd strung him along to fall in love with someone that didn't exist. "Y/n? What's wrong?" He may not be the brightest basterd...but part of you still wanted him to be your basterd. You sighed, "Nothing," He sat by you, "Hey, no lies." "You've had enough of those, I know. I'm sorry, solnishko." He tilted his head to the side, looked at you, and figured it out. He may not have known a lot, but he knew you. That was dead certain. "Hey... You had to do what you had to do. I get it." "But-" "There are things, Donny...Things you dont' know. It's just so..." "Well, I know your names not Veronique." He winked and chuckled, resting his hand over yours, "And I know you're Russian, but you speak enough French, and German and Dutch to fool anyone... I know you're a spy. One hell of a spy." He winked, and you smiled. "Donny, we can't." You shook your head, breaking your own heart for the millionth time, "You've fallen in love with someone that doesn't exist." "Really?" He held your face up, "Y/n, you seem to be right here. Ya look pretty real, too, ya know." He smiled and spoke softly, for omce, "Yeah, Veronique ain't your real name, but the real you ain't your name." No, he smiled, knowing the real you had that same smile. That smile, he saw between shots of whiskey, and the first crack of dawn for the past few years. The real you has got the same laugh, and sneaking wink and damning sarcasm that he heard from you a few hours earlier. The real you had the same eyes of indifference as the spy looking up at death, as the starlit bartender in that old, familiar pub. He shook his head, "The real you's the same you that said, 'I love you,' aint it?" You raised your eyebrow, slightly smiling as you figured out what the hell he just said... "Same me, solnishko." He smiled, not knowing what that meant. Not knowing that you called him your sun, because every time the double life in a run down pub, surrounded by enemies seemed the darkest, that little ray of sunshine (not so secretly known as the Bear Jew) walked in, and lit up your world.

Suddenly, someone popped his head through the doorway, "Agent L/N...that is you, ain't it, kid?" You chuckled, "Yeah, that's me, lieutenant." Aldo smiled, and said, "Well, I done spoke to the general, 'n said, maybe we could use somebody on our side that speaks'um French, since we are in France." "Most of the time," Donny smiled, and Aldo sighed, "Yeah. So, he said, I had a point. Now, I saw some of your work in this here file..." He waved around a yellow folder, stamped with the word 'classified' in four languages. He was definitely going to be chewed out for that. "And goddamn, little lady, I think we could you some'n like this on the team...if that's alright with you." You looked at Donny, and that sliver between the hope of you saying yes, and the fear of you giving in to your guilt. "Yes sir, that's alright with me." Aldo smiled, but before he cold say anything, a higher ranking officer's voice rang down the hall, "LIEUTENANT RAINE!" He looked down at the file and muttered, "Damn..." And quickly, saluted the officer, and disappeared out the door. Donny turned to you, "So the real you's been a basterd all along, huh?" You rolled your eyes, and chuckled, "I guess so." "I can't believe I didn't figure it out." "Well you're not the..." "What?" You cleared your thraot, "Never mind." He shrugged, and slipped his hands into yours, and said, "You were under my nose, all this time, huh doll?" He planted a soft kiss over the strip of gauze covering your nose, and you melted, as you looked up at him, his dark eyes. He meant it. He meant all of it. He didn't mind, he knew what war as, he knew you had to do what you had to do...and at that point, it had kept both you alive. There was nothing to forgive. There was nothing to be upset about. He knew you all along. He knew you loved him, and he knew he loved you, no matter what langauge was yours, what country you called home, or what you were called. It was you, and it always had been you, who he loved. It was you that gave the basterds a warm place to sit, and a good shot to take the edge off, when they needed it most. It was you who kept his name and his life, safely tucked behind your heart. Basterd or spy, Belgian or Russian, Veronique, or Y/n, it didn't matter. It was you who kept his heart, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

#donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz imagine #Donny Donowitz #the bear jew #Inglourious Basterds #inglourious basterds imagine

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ofinkdried · 4 years ago

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INTRO: MUN // TASK #001

hey all!! i’m slowly working on bios and pages and such but I wanted to introduce myself first -- so here’s what’s technically was the first task?? im using it as the template for my intro so HERE WE GO!!

PERSONAL INTRO

name / alias : victoria / tor gender / pronouns : cisfemale / she/her where ya from ? : texas!! the current time : 4:29 pm height : 5′4 job or major : unemployed at the moment, but I have a degree in health science/health administration & a national certification in phlebotomy pet ( s ) : one doxie/beagle mix named Roxie favorite thing ( s ) about yourself : my ability to remember song lyrics better than my own name any special talents ? : uhhhh I can play 4 ( 5? ) instruments why you joined hqclouds : FUNNY STORY care was talking to me about some Tea ( we’re in another rp together ) and she made a comment about running an rp and im a bit of a sleuth and found hqclouds and decided to join meaning behind url : it’s ‘ of clementines ’ because one of my favorite halsey songs is clementine and i’ve been on a halsey kick as of late last thing you googled : ‘ fools troye sivan ’ because I wanted to send my friend the music video birthday / zodiac : october 29th / scorpio in your opinion , does your sign suit you ? : some days myers - briggs : I took it forever ago and don’t remember... ^^’ moral alignment : chaotic good hogwarts house : ravenclaw!! three fictional character ( s ) you see yourself in + why : oh gosh.... katherine from newsies ( dedicated, doesn’t take a man’s shit), emma from the prom (nervous gay who plays guitar), and flynn rider from tangled (jokester, very in love with our girlfriends) i started roleplaying : 2012 I think? types of rps i enjoy : definitely literate ones favorite fcs to use : I try to not reuse fcs a lot?? like I have some I prefer for certain characters, but I don’t have a strong draw to certain faces... fandom ( s ) you’d like to write in : musicals ( namely newsies ), fairy tail, the raven cycle fandom ( s ) you aren’t in but are curious about : uhhhh I dont really know... share a funny roleplay horror story : oh gosh I dealt with one girl who like... constantly gaslit me as a player and my characters, would make me feel bad for not responding immediately, made everything about her characters, and then got mad when I called her out on it? and now she goes to a christian school and says that rp is ‘ the devil’s work ’ and I just... yeah. fondest roleplay memory : I feel like the moment my now girlfriend and I realized we always do ships bc just had awesome chemistry and then started dating like, 4 months later. favorite canon muse ( s ) to play : connor murphy ( deh ), gansey ( trc ), spot conlon ( newsies ), jimmy ( bandstand ), lucy heartfillia ( fairy tail ) favorite original muse ( s ) to play : theo massard ( a boxer, jack barakat fc; had an AMAZING ship for him ) canon ships you can’t help but love : CATRADORA. none of my other ships are technically canon : / trope ( s ) you tend to be guilty of : tragic backstories, tough on the outside soft on the inside i prefer . . . angst , smut , or fluff : I wanna say fluff but I know care and megan will call me out bc I love angst more than anything long or short replies : mid-length pre plotting or chemistry : chemistry leading to pre plotting! sentence starters or headcanon memes : both? I love discussing headcanons single muse or multimuse blogs : multi!! gif icons , medium gifs , or static icons : typically gif icons, but lately ive been loving medium gifs grab the book nearest to you and pull a quote from it : ok so I have no books atm bc im moving, but the first book on my phone is the dream thieves, and the line I see first is “ The Gray Man considered what it must’ve been like to live like that, always waiting for your door to be kicked in. ” what’s a quote or song lyric that speaks to your soul ? : oh gosh, so many... “ I'm a walking travesty/But I'm smiling at everything ” ( therapy, all time low ), “ I imagine the tears in your eyes/The very first night I'll sleep without you ” ( roman holiday, halsey ), “ Am I the product of a problem that I couldn't change?/Got his eyes, got her hair/So do I get their mistakes? ” ( secondhand smoke, kelsea ballerini ) top current celebrity crushes : halsey, froy guiterrez, harry styles ( always ) last movie you watched : I think it was uhhhhhh miss americana on netflix? did you like it ? : YES I loved it favorite movie ( s ) of all time : 10 things I hate about you, newsies ( ’92 ) favorite tv show ( s ) of all time : she-ra, queer eye, fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood, gossip girl favorite tv show that hasn’t ended : zoey’s extraordinary playlist favorite series of books / novels / comics : the raven cycle, all for the game, the last song sports team ( s ) you rep : dallas cowboys, houston astros ( yeah I know about the scandal and I hate it, but they’re my team ), FAU owls ( my alma mater ) favorite video game ( s ) : breath of the wild, KH series favorite youtube channels : unus annus, daniel howell ( rip he hasn’t posted in a year ), the try guys, NPR Music, CrankGameplays ( ethans just a dork I dont even like gamer videos that much ) hobbies : guitar, singing, being in zoom musicals ( im playing whatsername from american idiot for one in July and auditioned for a few others! ), reading what are the three non essential things you’d bring to a deserted island ? : my guitar, my laptop, wifi put your music on shuffle. what six songs pop up ? : HOLD ME TIGHT OR DONT, fall out boy; I’m Still Here, John Rzeznik; Towers, Little Mix; Way Down Hadestown, hadestown obc; Stitches, state champs (cover); Look Back, betty who personal aesthetic : nerdy punk? dream vacation ? : disneyland paris or disneyland Singapore with my gf dream job ? : music teacher dream car ? : one that works at this point if i could live anywhere , it’d be : austin, texas ( im about an hour away rn ) favorite musical : OH GOSH..... the prom, bandstand, newsies, hadestown favorite food ( s ) : blueberry pancakes, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing coffee order : at starbucks? venti iced chai tea latte. at dunkin? large iced vanilla coffee. at home? french vanilla coffee and caramel macchiato creamer and 2 scoops of sugar. unwatched stuff in your netflix / hulu / etc : netflix: sex education, the umbrella academy, end of the f***ing world, the people vs. oj simpson. hulu: portrait of a lady on fire, my friend dahmer, rocketman what’s a subject you know too much about + never get tired of talking about ? : I dunno? I have a ton of useless facts on a wide range of subjects. like did you know that in 100 letters, halsey says ‘ You wrote 100 letters just for me/And I find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans/Now I'm constantly reminded of the time I was 19/Every single one's forgotten in a laundromat machine ’ and that’s actually autobiographical -- her bf at the time wrote a note and put it in a pocket of every pair of pants she owned, and she was still finding them months after the relationship ended, so she took all her pants to a laundromat and washed them so she wouldn’t have to see the letters anymore!!

#(( this got long im sorry asdkjfh ))#cloud:task #&&. 'im a hurricane.' || tor posts.

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mikkock · 5 years ago

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HELLO I ADORE YOUR OCS SO MUCH WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT KAI HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL "YOUR DAUGHTER CALLS ME DADDY TOO" DOUCHEBAG AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

LBLMVBGK THANK U OMG love it when ppl like my kids, im a proud dad rn

ALSO wrow congrats on ur on point analysis, cause, that’s the Essence Of His Being (fun fact since i got two characters who go by the name of kai -cause fuck that basic writing tip that says ‘dont have two characters named the same thing- i usually refer to him as The Bad Kai cuz he a bad bitch)

so lets unwrap that dude shall we uwu

SO this dude was created when i realised my story didnt have antagonists so i made a bunch of Bad People and then they all became good people after i started giving them more personnality somehow eXCEPt him for some reason, the only survivor of the “everyone will be baby” plague, the only rude bitch in this house, the only guy who’s still on the dark grey side of morally grey...but tbh im in love with him cause he’s an asshole and im an idiot so like.

His base concept was basically something along the lines of “fuckboy but make it Couture”, like douchebag indeed But Gotta Be Fancy at being one, gotta add a pinch of Sneaky Bitch in the pot. His aesthetic is Chillin, gettin in ur pants, then moving on for some more chillin and more pants. So if you’re into some funky sexy time with no pressure and no ties, ya gon get along, your goals meet, time to have fun.

All that is supported by his charisma, cause unless ya got some nasty history, he’ll just look like that charming bad-boy “oho hot dude with a dangerous but not agressive” vibed person, and he’s quite a sweet-talker. He’s probs not only the ‘your daughter calls me daddy’ kind but also ‘and so will YOU, i’m scoring with the whole family and you wont stop me (and you wont WANT to stop me)’

He got that handsome ppl priviledge ya feel

but also, he wouldnt be a rude guy if he was just the ‘i enjoy chill frick-fracking and im just so sexy that no one can say no to that booty’ guy

Dude got quiiite some spite-fueled ego and Does Not Take losing well, and will not, in fact, let himself lose on any objective he has, and when that objective is A Person, he gets ugly. Being good at sweet talking also means being good at small stuff like “not saying exactly the truth always when it would be more beneficial not to”, “deliberately using euphemistic, ambiguous or obscure language so to mask wrong doings and technically saying the truth but in such a way that it becomes completely masked by a thick fog of bullshit”, and “use words and behaviour in general to influence others unscrupulously so to get something in return”. Even a little “playing with their perception in order to make them doubt in their thoughts and selves”. In short dude got no qualms about using all the tools of manipulation available if it means that he comes on top (or on bottom if the goal was getting an assful eeeeeey we’re masters of comedy here) It tends to be all for short term results tho, so not much your ‘boyfriend who convinces you you’re nothing without him” and more of a “you thought you were dating but only you were thinking that as he always kept it just vague enough to have you not official yet convinced of his and now you’re blaming yourself for believing you were together”

master of getting ass, also master of Ugly Ass Breakups, and master of suddenly dissapearing from your life so hard that you wonder if it was just your imagination all along (he got ugly past with a bunch of other ocs especially he’s ex boyfriend with two that are now together cause i dig that sort of drama the sAME dUDe gave u the trust issues that held u from going full lovey dovey ? i fucking lIVE off that kinda shit wait until he pops back like ‘oho hello fancy seeing YOU TWO here my two fave exes together incredible what a small world”)

Though I have to rework on all that cause that backstory is oLD AS SHIT (like prolly i built it in what, 2016? ew ugly) I had that stem from some sort of neglect-fueled inferiority complex. I had given him a kinda cold family with a bunch of siblings who got Way More Nurtured due to their respective talents and achievements, having him left behind and feeling like he got nothing. SO that’s basically the explanation as of today but i dont like iiiiit anymooooore so I’ll have to work on it to make it something i dig, cause idk, bitch feels flat so far.

BUT i do intend on keeping the whole concept of ~Loneliness~, and of him working alone and quite hard for anything he gets. And the general need of proving himself that had come from the WIP backstory. I don’t exactly see him as an overachiever at all, but definitly as an obstinate and persevering hardworking guy, because “Look YALL I WAS aBLE TO DO THIS YALL THOUGHT I COULDNT HUH YALL LOOK DOWN ON ME well fuck u cause idc im better than u now also ur mum’s into bondage i kno from experience bye”. So tbh pair up with him for group projects, you’ll be sure his share of the work will be done (but also if you dont do yours then he’s probably going to be a bITCh about it, no remorse in leaving blank slides in the middle of the powerpoint and then loudly proclaiming ‘OH RIGHT This was supposed to be Kevin’s part but I suppose he never sent it to me, despite the numerous reminders i sent him, no big deal, no hard feelings, its ok sweetie we all sometimes feel too lazy i forgive u :)” )

Also he’d be Chill to hang out with for like, parties, nights out at the bar, that kinda shit. He definetly has some beans to spill about quite some people, he gathers the goss as he gathers lovers (i was gonna end that in “as he spreads legs” but it sounded too PG-18 for this good Well Behaved family friendly blog) and Will Not stay tight lipped, and Will be a bitch when trashtalking people, and It Will Be Entertaining as it always is when you’re hearing about crazy exes and you’ve had some beers.

Now trivia that idk where else to write cause idk i stupid or more like disorganised :

- he digs red ale beer like if ya wanna win him over with the appropriate alcohol offer there u go

- he’s a fake blonde (cause my hobby is painting regrowth roots on hair)

- his design is a mixture of those 3dgy denim boys u see on pinterest and the specific brand of fuckboys that are french-L-section-chic-grunge-hipster-fuckboys (L section is like a branch of highschool)(that word combo is a so specific kinda guy)(its kinda like a softboi but more arrogant but in a lowkey way)(also they rich)(but he’s not rich so guess that should make him Less Arrogant)

-im constantly dead afraid of giving him more characteristics and story or whatveer cause he’s the only meanie i got left and i do Not want him to stop being an asshole but everytime i develop a character they end up nice or redeemed or whatever and i wanna keep him a bitch so i neglect him (just like his parents in his 2016 version wow)

he smokes (prolly started quite early to Be Kool and now relies on it for stress relief)

he’s outspoken and extraverted and prolly the guy who had a lot to say when you were doing debates in class (there’s always that person who has a Lot to argument about)(its him) but outside of a Set and Defined debate structure he probably doesnt give his mind voraciously

he’s a law student and despite saying he’s the one bad guy left he probably wont be a corrupt lawyer or judge or whatever like come on he will do his job properly he worked hARD FOR THIS justice may be served

he’s not the kind to openly hate or even dislike anyone cause what’s the point of wasting your energy on that? its much funnier to him to be obnoxiously Neutral with someone and basically ignore them but still strike them with some Spikes of passive-agressive comments, let them be Mad at your calmness

he’s 177cm tall (that’s like 5.8 according to google)

honestly if you’re bros with him he’s fun to be with the being a jerk is completly coincidental

he probably ranks high in the list of “those criminals who steal big lighters from their friends”

i think at a point his design had tattoos but i forgot the designs of those so now he doesnt anymore

a dog person

i think ive run out of facts (or my brain dead) so im leavin with a shirtless pic cause my hobby is drawing tits

in short, charming asshole who can get ugly, secretly feels lonely and small, works hard for himself, better have him as a friend than as a foe though probably not the most frontally agressive enemy, and also, your booty, hand it over.

#people probably excuse his naughty behaviour bc of his looks and that's the fact

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slytherinbangchan · 5 years ago

Text

Apado gwaenchana Chap13💖

Chap 12 💖

Masterlist

Another fave chap btw 💖

Magazine workers (enemies to lovers AU)

Warning for this chap: Mention of alcohol, kissing games etc… (parties stuff)

Fluff, smut.

Pairing: RenjunxReader (Only y/n’s actual name is ‘Skyler’ cause I love that name and that’s it but it’s still ‘y/n’ ok?) Btw I made everyone here older than they actually are cause they’re working at an office etc…

You (Skyler/BlueAbsinthe) work as an editor at an office for a magazine called ‘Fashion Killa’ along with your two besties, (Chloe/uwuBabe writer for the health and beauty department and Blair/NotARavenclaw, a photographer). And everything is fine untill you have to work along in an assesment with your ‘mortal enemies’.

(Dont mind the time on the chats I just write late at night, lol) Idk if I need to say this but I love Chenle, president Chenle forever💖, but he’s a jerk in my series, so sorry. Ily Chenle pls forgive me.

Nct members as:

Mark: Editor. Renjun: Photographer. Chenle: Editor Lucas: Model Doyoung: Model Park Jisung: Model Johnny: Model Yuta: Model Taeyong: Model Jungwoo: Model Other Idols:

Felix: As an Stray Kids member Han Jisung: As an Stray Kids member. Wonho from MX: As a model Joohoney from MX: As a model TOP from BB: As a model. Siwon from SUJU: As a model. BoA: As your boss

13.

So once again you see yourself caught up in some 'scandal' with Doyoung. Why does this happen just now? You're not even dating him anymore. You take a deep breath and leave your phone to go take a shower. Apparently there's another party at Lucas's. When are they getting bored of those parties? Why nobody has brought a karaoke machine yet? Is not like you have a great voice but that doesn't mean you don't wanna use it? Anyway, is getting late, you better hurry up or everyone is gonna be already drunk when you get there and that's not as funny as sober people pretend it is.

This is the third day in a row that there's a party and most of the people couldn't handle it. There are just a few model girls from your assessment group and Lucas, Doyoung, Johnny, Taeyong. Then there's Blair, Chloe etc, and lastly Mark, Renjun, Jisung. You go say hi to them first and then to the girls.

-How's your lizard? -Chloe asks.

-Very well, thank you. She cute.

-Skyler, you know how much I love Drarry, tell me SkyJun is sailing. -Blair says.

-What?

-Skyler! -Lucas approaches you with a drink. -You came, great. Here. -He hands you the cup. -We're about to start a drinking game. You HAVE to play. You too girls. -He looks at your friends.- I'm kinda tired of kissing guys all the time.

-I'll stay here with Wonho for tonight. But Blair will go. -Chloe says pushing her.

-Well yeah, I'll go. I'm bored anyway. -She says, following Lucas.

Blair grabs your hand and takes you to the circle too. You can see Mark doing the same to Renjun. You haven't drink enough for this. You haven't drink at all actually. So you just gulp down that cup Lucas gave you. It's terribly sweet. Must be rum or something like that. Doyoung sits by your side.

-Hey. -He says, softly.

-Hey, you.

-How are you doing?

-I'm fine. Seriously, I'll be fine as long as your fans don't know who I really am.

-Well I'm sure they'll find out so...

-Yeah... I kinda know that but I want to be happy meanwhile. -You laugh.

-Everyone! -Lucas is placing the bottle already. -Let's start this. We'll play kiss or dare. -He says spinning the bottle. It stops pointing at Mark. -Mark. Kiss or dare.

-Hmm... Kiss.

-Okay, kiss Jisung.

-Seriously?? -He ask, while reluctantly moving towards Jisung. -What kind of kiss?

-I guess if someone choose 'kiss' just a normal kiss, not a peck but not french you know?

He sighs and proceed to kiss the maknae.

Next time bottle points to Doyoung.

-Kiss or dare? -Asks Lucas.

-Dare.

-Okay, kiss Skyler for the old times. -He smiles widely and people start 'wooing' you two.

He chuckles. -Ok, so apparently ‘dare’ means kissing too. -Doyoung says. He just kisses you anyways. It's just a peck on the cheek tho.

-Aww c'mon! -Lucas complains. -Don't do this to me everyone please. This is a party I want action. -People laugh and he spins the bottle again. It points to one of the girls from your assessment group. The one who was fixing Renjun's clothes that time at the photoshoot. -Kiss or dare?

-Kiss!

-Okay, kiss the person you like the most from this circle. You can kiss me by the way.

She giggles and looks around, then goes to Renjun and kiss him. HOW DARES SHE. Ahem... Anyways. Lucas is dissapointed cause she didn't choose him. And the cup that was in your hand is no longer a cup, now is just a crushed plastic ball.

-Here. -You look up and it's Wonho offering you another drink. -Chloe sends me. -You look behind him and she's waving at you. Then makes a sign for you to breathe and just drink the cup.

You gulp that one in too. -Finally, vodka. -You say. You're so glad all your friends actually know what drinks you like.

The bottle spins again and finally it points to you. -Kiss or dare? -Lucas asks.

-Dare. -You choose.

-Okay. I noticed you gave up half of your clothes trying not to make out with Renjun the other night so...

-I gave my other half trying not to kiss Mark. -You add.

-Well yeah but you ended up having to kiss him and you made him moan so I can't think how you could top that tonight.

You sigh kinda frustrated. Renjun kissed that other girl. You don't wanna kiss him right now. -Whatever. -You say.

-Anyway, as I was saying. Your dare is to turn Renjun on.

-What?

-I just said it.

-Yeah, but...

-We're waiting~

You sigh again and crawl to Renjun. He's visibly worried right now. You're frowning cause you're still mad. But you sit astride him and look at him in the eyes. He gulps and you kiss him briefly before going down his neck. He has closed his eyes as you bite him softly. You almost can hear his heart beat. His fingers buried in your skin as you bite his neck a little harder. You kiss your way to his ear and whisper some nasty thingys to him till he pushes you away.

-Ok, enough. -He says, blushing to another level.

You get back to your seat giggling. -So mean. -Doyoung whispers to you.

-That's nothing. -You say, laughing.

-Yeah, I know. But still... Look at him. Never seen anyone that red.

-Shut up. -You say, laughing. -Is not that bad.

It's 5am and half of the people there is falling asleep. So you and the girls decide it's time to go. Jisung has fallen asleep in Lucas's bed and Mark is about to do the same. Renjun is just there laughing at both of them.

-You go ahead. -You say to Blair. -I'm gonna say goodbye to the guys. -She nods and goes away. You hug Doyoung and tell him to go to bed too. Lastly you go to Renjun and talk to him. -Hey.

-Hey. -You're going too?

-Yeah. I'm gonna pass out for sure when I get to my bed.

He chuckles. -Yeah, me too...

-Well, you already have bed hair.

-Ah, really?

-Yeah, you look terrible. -You laugh.

-Is that so? -He asks, raising an eyebrow. -Well, thank you.

-You're welcome. That's what enemies are for, ya know. -You say, smiling. -What did you do to get that hair tho? Did you kiss that model girl again?

-She was kinda clumsy yeah. Why would I kiss her again tho?

-I don't know... -You try and fix his hair while talking. -She's pretty.

He chuckles. -Are you drunk?

-Not really, no...

-I see. Sleepy drunk then. -His voice so soft.

-Maybe? -You laugh.

Suddenly you see Jisung's sleepy eyes creeping out behind Renjun. -Hyung, let's go please. I'll take Mark.

He laughs and looks at you. -I guess it's time to go.

-Ah, yeah. Good night then. -You watch Renjun and Jisung carrying Mark out of the room, then you stand there like an idiot for a few more seconds till you decide to move and go to your room too. You crush into Renjun on your way out. -Sorry. -You apologize and then laugh a little.

-Ah, sorry I forgot something. -He says, grabbing your hand.

-What?

He starts walking then, just turning his head to answer your question and then keep going. -'You'.

You feel your face burn after that. How he dares making you blush like that. -Omg Renjun.

-What? -He chuckles.

-Can we stop pretending we are in a kdrama?

-Well I'm chinese and you're not korean either so I guess it's not a kdrama anyways.

-Ok, we live in Korea?

-We're not even there right now?

-Omg, stoop, you know what I meant. -You laugh.

He stops walking suddenly and gently pushes you to the wall, leaning over you. -Of course I know. I just love messing with you. -He then kisses you and smirk after that. -Now let's go. -He says grabbing your hand again and walking away.

You take your shoes off as soon as you enter the room. Then throw yourself in bed. You feel your eyes closing and not wanting to open again. Then you suddenly remember Renjun is right there and get up. -What are you doing? -He's standing close to the door.

-Ah... I don't know...

-Come here, you idiot. -He walks to the bed and stand there. You pull him from his shirt to make him fall into the bed with you. -Why are you just standing? -You laugh.

-Sorry, you seem exhausted just now.

-Well yeah, I am. -You say, kissing him after. -But... -You blush hard.

-Huh?

-I don't want you to go just yet... -You say, pouting. Avoiding eye contact with him.

He chuckles. Making you look at him again. -I don't wanna go either. I came back for you, remember?

-Ah yeah... I must have won over that other girl... -You say mumbling to yourself.

-What? -He laughs.

-Nothing. Come here. -You say, dragging him under the covers with you. You're shaking cause you're cold. At least you think it's only because of that. -You look cute with your bed hair now. -You say, giving him an eskimo kiss that ends up with him kissing you.

-How is my bed hair different now from earlier?

-Maybe cause you're in an actual bed... The background is appropiate.

He chuckles. -Okay. You have to be drunk.

-Nah. I'm just that stupid. -You laugh.

-Hey. Only I can call you stupid.

-No way, why??

-Cause I don't mean it.

-Oh, really? I do mean it when I call you stupid. -You say with an straight face, but you end up cracking up when you see he's actually buying it.

-Omg, I hate you. I swear. -He says, jokingly fighting you. Not being able to restrain an smile too.

-Ah...Renjun, I'm tired, I'm just gonna kiss you now. -You say, getting closer to him.

He laughs. -Yeah, I think I'm fine with that. -He ends up with the little distance left between you two. Chap12 💖 __Chap14

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