#guys I swear its because I'm reading a lot
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kameyyy Β· 3 days ago
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hey kamey! you seem like a cool person :D i see you around here a lot and im wondering what ur screen time on tumblr is ahaπŸ˜… It’s fine if you don’t want to answer but im genuinely curious. Lots of love <3
⛄️ anon
Hii !! Thank you, I bet you're a really cool and awesome person as well <33
You clocked me.
I spend.. a lot of time here,,,,😭
It depends on how busy I am during the week but on average its 2-3 hours.. or more.. like on weekends my screentime skyrockets,,, a lot
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funnierasafictive Β· 1 year ago
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your talks about knowing if someone is a fictive or not is fucking hilarious because like- for us SPECIFICALLY I’m essentally front personified and thus the perm fronter and front gatekeeper as of now but like!!!- for us we operate a lot on what we can (phantom) feel, hear or see- like yeah it’s not most clear but like- suddenly feeling picked up or splatted against a wall but not SEEING it happen to the body and KNOWING it’s not happening to your body is a REAL FAST reality check, drawing something and suddenly feeling like there’s wires under your skin shocking you half to death bc youmanaged to actually draw a brain buddy without realizing even more so.
would recomend checking to see if the voices register as β€œnot yours” or β€œin another language”- even if you register the words and language if it doesn’t FEEL like what you know as yours/body’s you should check shit out- we primarily use body’s voice or I’m limited to it- however I DO register the spanish and such languages at times and I can 10000% tell you that juanaflippa threatened someone with a gun bc she didn’t want to see a β€œnot my mate” throwing themself on me and I 1000% registered those words as rusian despite body being english only and the voice she had at her disposal as ONLY the body’s voice.
idk if any of this will help anyone but it MIGHT be more aproachable to ask them to say/do something a certain way involving your senses and check that way than other methods,,
AGH THATS SO TRUE. this is nicer than me going "annoy them" BAHAHA
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alonetimelover Β· 11 months ago
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pairing: (ex)Harry Styles x Ginger Spice's daughter!reader x Max Verstappen
fc: Sabrina Carpenter
summary: They broke up and she decided to disappear and write a heartbreaking song. Through this process her old friends from F1 were with her. With one two-time World Champion getting closer and closer.
warnings: swearing, cheating, Harry is an asshole in this (sorry!)
a/n: Long? Oh yes. It's a long one. But also my first F1 related fic, hope you enjoy!
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f1 and redbullracing
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liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 349 392 others
f1 Is there a better way to start 2023 season than with YN YSN (sweetly called the tiny boss of Red Bull Racing) in the paddock? We say there is NOT! Welcome YN, we hope you have the best time with us!
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yourinstagram thank uuuuu!
danielricciardo THE boss is here!
landonorris *heart eyes*
charles_leclerc Welcome back, YN!
ynupdates oh how i missed her face
ynsmybestie 5 months without even a photo of her finger online... it was a draught
ynsmymama yn's a vroom vroom girlie?????
ynsmybabie F1? is she a fan? tiny boss? what is going on?
β€· ynupdates I feel like I'm the only one that knew. YN is Christian Horner's (red bull racing boss) step-daughter.
β€· ynsmybestie isn't his wife ginger spice?
β€· ynupdates yes! she's YN's mum. how do you guys not know that?
β€· ynshands maybe because she's using her grandma's surname and not her mother's?
formulafan49 so we're getting las vegas content in bahrain? this sport is getting out of control with all those celebrities attending
β€· landonorizz why are you being bothered by somebody that knows almost everything about formula 1? go be mad somewhere else
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yourinstagram
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liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 2 201 302 others
yourinstagram hiiiπŸ’› took a break and wrote a song. you're losing me is out now! i love all of you my pathological people pleasers.
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danielricciardo be a happy song with me?
β€· yourinstagram running to you right now
β€· landonorris bringing mum's biscuits
‷ maxverstappen1 I'll bring myself 😊
β€· danielricciardo you lot weren't invited, but come in... I guess
landonorris you're the only person I'm not mad at for making me cry, ynn
β€· yourinstagram you've heard the song before, lan
β€· landonorris shhhh
β€· danielricciardo it won't make her fall in love with you, norris
β€· landonorris fuck you man
maxverstappen1 πŸ’›πŸ’›
ynupdates WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED HERE
ynsmybestie I won't recover. I fucking won't recover
ynsmymama I'm gonna die... its so sad. its heartbreaking. I'm losing myself
hArrysbtch woah, my heart cannot take this
harrysmoustache firstly, break my heart and take it, yn
harrysmoustache secondly, why is the whole f1 here? wtf
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harryupdates
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liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 45 202 others
harryupdates In his latest interview Harry was asked about his private life - especially his relationship with YN. After the question of "do you feel like you throw a great love away?" Harry answered with "I don't know. I don't regret a lot of things in my life but that's [the relationship] probably one of them." You can read the interview via the link in our story!
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hArrysbtch suddenly a six year lasting relationship was a mistake???
hArrysbtch ehh, harry. i kinda feel that the breakup (from Harry's side) happened a long time ago. there is no sparkle anymore
hArrysbtch now let me start on not mentioning her name like EVER "my last partner" her name is YN, why he can't just say it? it's been going on for years. since they started dating really...
harrysmoustache that wasn't the best interview
ynsmymama about 'you're losing me': "every artist has their imagination that they write down and then release. sometimes it's good and sometimes it should be kept private. i'm not the one to size it up." THAT WAS FUCKING LOW
β€· harrysmoustache as much as I love him that was petty af
β€· hArrysbtch especially when almost all critics named this song one of the best LYRICALLY and MUSICALLY in the last few decades
ynshands "I don't know if you can be ready to move on from a longterm relationship. it's definitely harder than from something that lasts months or two years." THIS MOTHERF****R IS TALKING ABOUT NOT BEING THE ONE TO MOVE ON BUT HE DID WHILE STILL BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP??????
β€· ynsmymama this is called audacity
β€· harrysfan49 cheating was never confirmed, was it?
β€· ynsmybestie yes, it was. right after harry's "announcement" yn posted a story with lyrics from 'illicit affairs'. i think that's enough of a confirmation.
ynsmybestie yeah, here he comes again not being able to fucking say her name. those 6 years meant nothing?
β€· harrysfan92 maybe he doesn't want to share his private relationship online
β€· ynsmybestie i don't understand that. you're loving a person for six years, claiming them the love of your life, but saying the name is hard? he never mentioned her in interviews (my closest friend, my partner, someone I love). he couldn even show up at her birthday party because he had a photoshoot. just to point out, the drivers showed up in London, even though they had a race in Imola the next day.
β€· harrysfan87 you guys are toxic. just gonna blame him for the breakup? unbelievable.
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ynupdates
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liked by ynsmybestie, landofan92 and 88 203 others
ynupdates YN AND LANDO AT THE NIGHTCLUB IN MONACO!!!!!
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ynsmybestie NO FUCKING WAY
ynsmybestie SHE LOOKS SO HOT
ynsmymama the way he looks at her ??? 🫠
ynsfan92 find somebody who looks at you just like lando looks at yn. YOU CAN'T
β€· ynsmymuse have you seen how max looks at her?
landofan92 do I need to change my bio from norizz to yesrizz?
user39 yeah, moving on quickly when her exboyfriend is talking about how he adores her
β€· ynsmybestie where??? because i only saw how awful he was to YN from the moment they broke up
user02 yeah, move on quickly and go trough all the drivers
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yourinstagram added to her IG story!
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lando.jpg
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liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1 004 392 others
lando.jpg yn showed her favourites
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danielricciardo LIAAAAAR. SHE LOVES ME MORE.
β€· yourinstagram of course
β€· lando.jpg i love your sarcasm
maxverstappen1 πŸ’›
yourinstagram not my fault you were the only ones available for photos
β€· maxverstappen1 I don't mind
β€· lando.jpg neither do I
β€· danielricciardo I DO
β€· charles_leclerc I DO TOO
ynsmybestie hot
ynsmybestie but also i see you YN with favouring Max and Lando, i see you girl
ynsmymama why I've never realised how hot those two are???
ynshands is there a thing she does badly?
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ynupdates
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liked by ynsmybestie, maxandyn and 68 574 others
ynupdates YN and MAX VERSTAPPEN at the bar tonight in Zandvoort, celebrating Max's win!
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ynsmybestie SEE? you defend the girl, you get the girl!
ynsmymama i mean i was rooting for them but i am still speechless
ynshands YAS PARENTS
maxfan85 after the race that he had, tying to yet another record and getting a girl? is there a thing he can't do or can't have??
ynsfan93 sooo, do we say they're together orrr?
β€· ynsmybestie i mean, look at them. i have many friends but i'm not that cozy with any of them
β€· ynsmymama i vote early stages of dating. yn's a touchy person in nature so you know, it can be that
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yourinstagram added to her IG story!
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a/n: do you want to see more of them?
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part 2
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sungbeam Β· 9 months ago
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π₯𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐰𝐒𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧
nonidol!choi san x gn!reader (no prns mentioned)
turns out your upstairs neighbor has a cat who adores climbing through your window β€” oh, and said neighbor is also fine as hell.
3.7k words, neighbors au (2 lovers), fluff, maybe like two swear words, drinking, lots of mentions of food
a/n: low-key just read this like ur watching the highlight reel of a romcom lol but @jaehunnyy for u πŸ’– i hope u like it :'))
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It all started about seven months ago when a gorgeous Thai cat waltzed into your apartment via the open window. It was a late July afternoon, stiflingly hot and sticky, meaning you had your window opened and the mobile fan set up to blow cool air into the apartment.
You were, for once, not at work. Because the art museum you worked at downtown was currently undergoing reconstruction, you were stuck in your apartment trying (failing) to sell prints off your low-traffic Etsy shop while also trying (failing) to make popsicles.
β€œWhy is this so complicated?” You grumbled aloud as you sat on top of your kitchen counter with your knees pulled beneath your chin. You scrolled down the recipe again on your laptop screen, nose wrinkled at the amount of convoluted steps listed. β€œToo fancy,” you decided, slamming your laptop lid closed.
Immediately, you hissed, lifting the lid to make sure you hadn't cracked the screen from closing it too hard. Thankfully, there were no cracks visible and you breathed out a sigh of relief. You could not afford a brokenβ€”
β€œHoly shit!” You nearly fell off the back of the island counter at the sight of a light gray cat with black tipped ears, paws, and tail seated on the floor before you.
The cat meowed an innocent greeting.
You pressed your hand to your hammering heart and shifted to get a grip on your position atop the counter. β€œHowβ€”? Where…?” Your eyes drifted to the open window.
Oh. Well, that would explain it.
You glanced back at the cat, who peered up at you once more. β€œMeow.”
Carefully, you climbed down from the counter as to not scare the creature with any sudden movements. β€œHey, baby. Where did you come from, hm?” You cooed, extending your hand out as an offer to be sniffed.
The cat unfurled its tail out from around its body and crept toward your hand. With an experimental sniff, you were deemed safe, and the cat rubbed the side of its face affectionately against the back of your knuckles.
Your chest nearly exploded from the cute interaction. You lowered yourself to your knees, gently taking a peek at the silver charm attached around the collar. There you found the engraving of a star in the metal circle.
β€œI'm guessing this has something to do with your name?” You hummed, reaching up to scratch the feline behind the ears and head. At least you had an inkling that this little one belonged to someone. You just didn't know how to find out who they were.
β€œI guess you can hang out with me,” you sighed and stood up with your hands on your hips. You didn't mind the company, after all, and maybe this could be a point of inspiration.
About three hours later, the summer sun still hung relatively high in the sky and you were trying to figure out what to feed the cat when there came a sudden knock at your front door. Really, the β€œsudden knock” was a series of rushed, panicked DUDUDUDU sounds. You nearly jumped out of your skin for the second time in one afternoon, and even the cat seemed to leap.
Well, the cat only looked mildly annoyed that her nap was interrupted, but she seemed content to give a languid stretch and join you in seeing who was so alarmed at your door.
When you peered out the peephole, your eyes shot open.
There was a pretty man at your door.
You glanced down at the cat who looked back up at you. You mouthed to her, pointing at the door, β€˜Do you know this guy?’
As expected, she did not answer. Lovely.
You weren't exactly in appropriate garb to see people. You had thrown on something cool enough to not make you melt like one of the popsicles you weren't able to make earlier, and enough to cover any necessary areas. You were sure your hair looked about as luxurious as a barn, and there wasn't a lick of cosmetics on your face.
It was fine, you told yourself. You probably weren't even going to see this guy ever again.
You opened the door. β€œHello? Can I help you?” You asked through the chain linking the door shut.
The man flashed you a flustered, dimpled smile at you. His dark hair was damp, like he just came out of a shower, and he had on a muscle tee that was definitely doing its job, and a pair of basketball shorts. β€œHi! So sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you've seen a Thai cat wandering around here about yea highβ€”?”
β€œMeow.” The cat at your feet shoved her way between the gap you made with the door and out into the hallway.
Your eyes widened another smidge, until the man outside released a gasp of relief and bent down to scoop the feline up into his arms. You unlatched your door and opened it fully now, the man holding the cat to his face as if he was communicating with her telepathically.
β€œThat's the cat, I'm guessing?” You mused.
He tucked her back into his arm and his smile became sheepish. β€œYes, I am so sorry about her. I came back home from work and she wasn't in the apartment, but thank you for dealing with her for however long she was here.”
You waved off his concern with your hand, sending him a kind smile. β€œDon’t worry about it, really. She's adorable. What's her name, by the way?”
β€œOh, this is Byeol,” he cooed, lifting Byeol's paw up to wave at you.
Swoon. Your smile widened as you waved back at them both. β€œWell, it was nice to meet you, both Byeol and…?”
β€œSan,” he answered. God, he was gorgeous. That smile… β€œAnd you are?”
β€œYn.” You shook each other's hands in the dim hallway light.
β€œNice to meet you, too, Yn.” He lit up, pointing up to the ceiling. β€œHey, I'm pretty sure I'm your upstairs neighbor!”
You opened the door to your apartment wider so you could show him your open window. β€œWell, that would definitely explain how she got down onto my fire escape,” you chuckled.
He whistled lowly. β€œMan, cats are scary sometimes. I'll definitely try to keep an eye on whenever she's near my window now.” He ran the back of his knuckles down Byeol's spine. β€œI don't wanna take up any more of your time, but thanks again.”
β€œNo worries! Have a nice night.”
β€œYou too!”
San began walking back toward the stairs at the end of the hallway, and you were about to close the door when you thought you heard him chastising his cat in hushed tones. You laughed to yourself as you locked up your front door. You wouldn't mind if Byeol came traipsing down your fire escape again.
And she would. About three times a week when San had a later shift at the boxing gym he worked at (yes, a boxing gym… good lord). Byeol oftentimes expected you to have your window open, and if you didn't already have it open, she would sit out on the fire escape until you did.
Two months into the fire escape escapades, you gave up and left the window open just enough for her to squeeze through while you returned to work.
San would always come down to your apartment to retrieve her, and at some point, decided to swing by your apartment on his way up instead just to make sure she wasn't already here.
By month four when the days were shorter and the nights dragged longer and colder, you couldn't exactly keep the window open, lest you wanted to freeze your ass off in the safety of your apartment. Byeol would hop down the fire escape in the evenings when you were back so you could let her in, only for her owner to come barreling down the stairs, dimpled cheeks flushed and exasperated.
β€œI swear she likes you more than me,” he guffawed from where he stood out in the hallway as he always did. He shook his head as he watched the Thai feline waltz around his legs once, then circle back into your apartment. He arched a brow at her. β€œLook at her strutting. She knows exactly what she's doing.”
You swore there was a dash of red gracing his cheekbones now.
You bit your lip through a smile. β€œWell, you're welcome to come in. I was just about to eat dinner and I don't really think I can finish this roast chicken alone.”
β€œAh, I don't really wanna impose,” he drawled, scratching the back of his neck and peering at you from beneath those lengthy lashes of his. He knew what he was doingβ€”he had to know what he was doing. If Byeol could strut, then so could Choi San.
He promised to take you up on your offer as long as you let him run upstairs to grab a bottle of wine to contribute.
The last thing you expected to happen was to hear a knock on your window less than ten minutes later. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound, folding over in laughter when you saw him waving to you on the other side with cold-bitten cheeks and a red-tipped nose. He clutched a bottle of red in one hand and gestured furiously to the window latch. β€œIt's fucking freezing!”
β€œOkay, okay,” you grinned, walking over to let him inside. β€œJust so you know,” you said as Byeol welcomed her owner into your apartment, β€œusually it's just cats who come in this way.”
β€œWell, you might have to get used to a cat and a human coming in now,” he teased. San presented you the wine bottle with a flourish. β€œMilady, your beverage.”
β€œWhy, thank you, good sir,” you jested and accepted the offering. β€œMake yourself at home!”
What you didn't expect was for such a statement to be taken so literally, and yet, you had no complaints.
Three months further alongβ€”making it seven in total since that first hot July day Byeol came in through the open windowβ€”you and San (and Byeol) were cooped up in your apartment as usual. It was a Friday night with dinner on the table, a TV show playing in the background, and a pair of wine glasses for the pair of you. Over the past few months, sharing a dinner together had become a weekly event wherein San would come in via window, and the two of you would have the evening together.
Sometimes it was just dinner, sometimes it was dinner and a movie, and sometimes it was even dinner, a movie, and drunk Pictionary. But every Friday night was yours and San's night.
Plus, he turned out to be a much better cook, so you definitely couldn't argue when he somehow wrestled his entire Le Creuset pot down the fire escape to feed you the most divine lobster mac 'n’ cheese you had ever tasted. (As if you'd ever had lobster mac 'n’ cheese before…)
β€œI feel like it would just be more convenient if I came up to your apartment instead,” you said with enthusiasm, your free arm flailing around as you melted dark chocolate on a double boiler upon the stove top. While San had the right side of the stove for his chicken and gnocchi soup, you had the left to prepare tonight's mousse for dessert. If San made dinner, you figured you could at least learn a thing or two about a dessert course.
He chuckled, β€œI mean, I'm not opposed if you ever get tired of hosting. I'm kind of a creature of habit though, which is why I don't mind coming down every week, but it's up to you, sweets.”
Oh, right. And the nickname. You couldn't even pinpoint when that started, but again, you weren't complaining.
β€œI don't mind hosting either,” you told him, β€œit's just that it's either you leave your super expensive cookware here or I go upstairs. I don't think Le Creuset has fire escape insurance.”
β€œYou're not wrong about that.” You felt his hand gently brush against your waist as he slipped past you to get to the spice cabinet on your left. β€œBehind you,” he murmured by your ear before grabbing the jar of Himalayan salt (also his) and returning to his station behind his pot.
You couldn't deny the pitter-patter of your heart around him either. Things were coming to a point that you didn't know how to label. But perhaps that was the beauty of everything slipping into place. You carried on, β€œI think I've seen your apartment once, and that was when Byeol wouldn't stop meowing until I followed you guys.” You laughed to yourself at the memory. That had been an interesting night.
β€œIf it's any consolation, your apartment has much more life in it than mine.”
β€œThat's a lie,” you said pointedly. β€œYours is just more meticulous.”
He snorted. β€œMeticulous. Might as well be as barren as a clinic.”
You passed him a glance. β€œI offered to paint your walls…”
San beamed back at you, dimples creating divots in the apples of his cheeks. β€œAnd I never said no! Butβ€”I do think that it should be something the both of us do together.”
Your brows creased as you took the chocolate off the stove to fold into the other mixture you'd set aside. β€œYou wanna paint with me?”
β€œYeah,” he said, almost bashfully. β€œI think it'd be a fun bonding and learning experience. And it would be cool to see you in your element, besides when you're drunk.”
The latter comment had you turning away to laugh. β€œFair enough.”
When dinner was ready to be dined, and the mousse was freezing in the fridge, you and San sat at the kitchen island with your matching bowls of hot soup and glasses of lemon water for the night. Neither of you had remembered to buy wine for the week (surprisingly), but one week without alcohol wouldn't hurt.
The two of you clinked your glasses together, toasting to another week survived.
You took a sip, then spooned the soup into your mouth, wiggling around on your stool in a little happy dance as the flavors did their own dance on your tongue.
San smiled around his own bite. He swallowed, then said, β€œYou know, I always know I did well when you do that.”
β€œDo what?”
β€œThat cute little dance,” he chuckled. β€œI’m glad it tastes good, is what I'm saying, sweets.”
Your skin warmed, and you managed to convince yourself it was the soup or the heater or something and not the beautiful man beside you. β€œThen get used to the happy jig, because everything you cook tastes divine. You should be a chef, San.”
β€œI could've,” he shrugged, β€œbut I kind of like this little life.” He gestured to you with his spoon, a twinkle in his eyes. β€œDon't you?”
For a moment, you let the smile slowly unfurl onto your lips. You lifted your own spoon in agreement. β€œYou're right. It's a lovely, little life.”
Now that you were in agreement, you fell into a comfortable silence as you both enjoyed your dinner in one another's presence. Byeol was hunched over her own bowl of food just by the foot of your stool, against the adjacent side of the island. You'd gone out and bought her a pair of food and water bowls, as well as her preferred food. San had been touched by the gesture, and Byeol most definitely appreciated it.
San wiped his mouth with his napkin. β€œOh, by the way, next week.”
You hummed. β€œWhat about it?”
β€œAre you doing anything?”
You perked up, eyebrows lifting to your hairline. β€œWhy do you ask?” It was usually unsaid by now that Friday nights were set aside for the two of you to share an evening, which was why you were confused by his question.
And then he explained, β€œIt's Valentine's Day, so I just wanted to make sure I didn't interrupt or assume anything.” He'd said it so casually and easily that you nearly missed the slight nervousness in his voice, or the minor intonation of hope. β€œI mean,” he fumbled, β€œif you do have something planned, then it's no worries, really. There are plenty of other weeks—”
You shook your head, finishing off your water after having scraped your bowl clean. β€œI'm not doing anything,” you said. β€œWell, besides what we usually do.” You chuckled to yourself, β€œTo be honest, Valentine's Day completely slipped my mind this year.”
And if you were truly being honest with yourself, every Friday felt like Valentβ€”no. You shouldn't think like that. It would only make things worse about how you felt for him now. Plus, these past few months with San felt far too casual, too domestic, to be like Valentine's Day. Was Valentine's Day not for grand gestures and romance? This wasn't grand… though, you could probably argue about the romantic part…
β€œNo, I feel the same way,” he nodded. β€œMy friend Wooyoung just asked today if I was up to go to a single's party, which was why I suddenly remembered.”
Ah. β€œOh, are you planning on going?” Wine sounded pretty good right about now.
He grimaced. β€œProbably not. Iβ€”I was kind of hoping you wanted to still do dinner next weekβ€”but, like, it doesn't have to mean anything besides how it usually is. If that's what you're comfortable with.”
It doesn't have to mean anything besides how it usually is. What if you wanted it to mean more than how it usually was? There was nothing inherently wrong with how it usually was, but you couldn't deny that a part of you yearned for more. That part of you imagined what it was like if San didn't have to come see you via fire escape, and he was always in the same space as you.
There was a pause as you wrestled with your own conscience about how or if you were going to admit it to him.
He pressed his lips together. β€œI've made you uncomfortable.”
β€œNo, you haven't made me uncomfortable,” you assured him swiftly. β€œI just…” You sighed, pressing a hand to your forehead then returning it to your lap. β€œOf course, I would love to have dinner with you next week, but I’d like it to mean something elseβ€”if you are comfortable with that.”
You watched as that beautiful smile you'd come to grow more fond of blossom onto his face. β€œI'd be more than comfortable with thatβ€”I’d be really happy with that, actually.”
β€œGood,” you said softly, unable to bite your own smile away. β€œThen dinner next week, it is.”
There was something fundamentally different about this next Friday night compared to the others. Specifically, the context by which you and San went into the Friday evening of Valentine's Day was completely different. The apartment was aglow with the same warmth as it usually boasted, but there was a bouquet of blood red roses in a glass vase on the kitchen counter beside a bottle of red wine.
San was at the stove, finishing off the last bit for dinner before it needed to simmer for a good thirty minutes. You were in the living room portion of your apartment, flipping through the vinyl records to play before you pulled one out and set it up. As you moved the needle onto the record, you placed the empty cover back into its slot and turned toward the kitchen.
You froze in your spot, skin warming at the sight of San leaning over the island counter with an adoring look in his eyes as he watched you. β€œWhat?” You laughed, subconsciously adjusting the sleeve of your blouse.
β€œNothing,” he smiled. β€œYou're justβ€”you’re gorgeous.”
You were sure if your face didn't give it away, there must have at least been hearts floating around your head. β€œYou cannot just say that,” you chided weakly as you walked over to where he was, your expression growing shy.
His smile widened and he rounded the counter to stand in front of you, your back pressed against the edge of the counter. β€œI can, too,” he teased. He stepped back once and held his arms out, fingers flicking toward him to beckon you forward. β€œC'mere. Can you dance?”
β€œSome.” Your eyebrows arched upward as you stepped forward and took his hands in yours. β€œDancing and romancing, Choi San? What magic do you hope to enchant me with tonight?” You joked, moving your left hand to his shoulder.
β€œPerhaps magic that will leave your window open for me on nights other than Fridays,” he said sheepishly as the two of you began to sway to the music waltzing out from the record player. β€œRapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your fire escape—”
You let out a laugh, ducking your head toward your chests. He did the same, an embarrassed grin coming onto his face as his nose nudged against yours.
β€œThat was god awful,” he winced in apology.
β€œIt was,” you agreed teasingly, β€œbut I'll let it slide because you're cute.”
He shot you a bright smile. β€œOh? So I'm cute? I guess that makes two of us.”
You weren't really sure at what point you realized you had fallen for this man. It was sometime between the Himalayan salt lectures and the dancing like an old married couple in your kitchen, maybe. You thought about the day he showed up at your door panicking about a missing cat, and to a future where you might have found yourself in his living room painting murals on his walls. Or perhaps… not his living room, but both of yours.
As you danced with your chests pressed together, hearts beating rapidly in sync, you gazed into those beautiful, dark brown irises of his and sank further and further into those feelings. They were gradually making themselves a home in your chest.
β€œWhat're you thinking about, sweets?” He murmured as you tucked your head against his shoulder and the arm he had around your waist rubbed the small of your back.
The smell of his cologne made you inhale deeply. You could get used to thisβ€”his smell, the feel of his body under your fingertips, his presence intertwined with yours taking up space in the best possible way. β€œI'm thinking that Byeol is a good matchmaker.”
His chuckle rumbled through him and softly into your ear. β€œYou're definitely right about that.”
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a/n: pls remember to reblog and comment if u enjoyed!
atz m.list
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @tinkerbell460 @meosjinn @hyunjaespresent-deobi @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @floatingpluto @gyulfriend @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @soonyoungblr @justanotherkpopstanlol @kangfication @pxppxrminty @fluorescentloves @haechansbbg @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @mars101 @kflixnet
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elodieunderglass Β· 1 month ago
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I'm not as familiar with LOTR as you are, so I wondered if you could tell me if my wild theory is completely off-base.
No one knows where the Hobbits came from, except that at some point they diverged from the line of men. No one knows much about the Entwives' appearance, but we do know that they fucked off a long time ago.
Could the Entwives have been dryad-ish and hooked up with the hobbits' ancestors and so be the foremothers of the hobbits?
Ah I think I saw that post! The concept has a lot of charm, and when the Tolkien estate loses its corpse-grip on the property in 2050 or so, I think you should write it and sell it 😀 I’ve definitely read some good takes on entwives in fanfiction that both leaned into canon and moved away, and I think that sounds like good fun to explore. A common theme in the fandom is playing with Yavanna, the Green Lady, being the mother or patron of hobbits. This isn’t canonical, but she’s a β€œgreen goddess” archetype and is married to Mahal/AulΓ«, the father of dwarves, which shippers often leverage to their advantage. You could do something quite charming there with Yavanna if you wanted to. We also know that Entwives loved gardens and orchards rather than forests.
Some things I would explore with this include:οΏΌ
what is going on with all these consistent ideas of people, races, women disappearing. We know that a lot of it is how Tolkien processed an almost OCD-like Catholic framing of β€œthe fallen world is getting worse and can never be repaired”, war experiences, romanticism and other stuff stewing in his old man head. What are some ways you could show what’s stewing in your head? What does β€œpeople disappearing” mean to you? and why is it especially healing that they disappeared in order to make new families?
I think β€œthey disappeared from their old kin and made new kin” is an interesting and weird thing worth wondering about!
- this would possibly make hobbits a more recent race than is implied. What does that mean to you?
- why are hobbits teeny tiny?
A very good starting point, that Terry Pratchett used a lot, is taking some grand statement in fantasy fiction, and making it reflect a different political reality. β€œMost dwarves are girls actually.” β€œWizards parody academia, but, like, FOR REAL.”
I personally have a different take because of my own political feelings and framings! I have a lot of complex feelings about Tolkien chickening out of hobbits. For various political reasons I personally have to take the stance that they are fully human, fully indigenous, and have their own native language. and that their disappearance is less β€œteehee we lost them” or β€œO, the Catholic guilt of the Fallen World, how far we have fallen from the light of the two trees God’s sinless light” and a lot more β€œoh yeah I’ve seen THAT pattern before.”
If you have a political sort of lens on, someone telling you β€œyeah… hobbits came from nowhere 🀭 and then disappeared πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ sad!” is a story that can also invite the response of β€œOHhhhh you wanted their LAND real bad, huh.” Like, we know what that means, right.
It’s a political stance for me. Hobbits have to be close enough to us to touch, and we have to be able to face that, and the fact that 5,000 media properties will chew on tolkienelves and sell them to you before even admitting to the 🀭 just makes it even more of a 🀨. To me.
…But I have literally just been elbow deep in my own demented fanfic thing that involves inventing a language just to swear in, to enable my standing on a box shouting HOBBITS OUGHT TO RESIST GOING EXTINCT ACTUALLY, based entirely on, I think, spite. Why do multiple authors publish orc football games (Terry Pratchett) and orc coffeeshops (Legends and Lattes guy) and do every damned thing with every bit of Tolkien’s corpse but refuse to look directly at hobbits. I am feral over this and wrote 59k words so far to damage and harm my friends
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In conclusion I see a great story shape there about kindred and I think you should explore it and it should be about evolutionary biology and women and divorce and nobody being wrong.
And if anyone argues you with some podcast boy β€œwell actually”, just bite them and do more character work and sit on their heads
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19catsncounting Β· 3 months ago
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I Got Really Into Anti/Proship Discourse And Read +30 Academic Studies - My Findings
(It’s a Yapfest but the whole post is a very long essay and study on morality and fiction and children’s safety and rape culture with a fuckton of freely accessible academic articles and resources on the subject, and I want to talk to other people about it. For a shorter abstract with all the articles and more easily ignored yapping, see my shiny new Carrd:)
It’s been a little shocking lately to have certain discussions with some parts of fandom. I spoke about shipping/harassment and how that contributes to the death of fandom on TikTok assuming that younger folks are just really, really intense about preventing sexual violence, but the more I saw the words β€œmorally wrong” and β€œdisgusting” and β€œaddiction,” the more I thought about this guy-
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That’s Jerry Falwell, and I fucking hate this dead guy. You see, Jerry Falwell was a preacher who hated porn, feminism, and homosexuality. And I'm seeing his rhetoric and reworked quotes a lot.
Jerry would say stuff like:
β€œPornography hurts anyone who reads it - garbage in, garbage out.”
β€œSomeone must not be afraid to say β€˜moral perversion is wrong.’ If we do not act now, homosexuals will β€˜own’ America!”
Jerry wanted people to believe that it’s possible to see so much sexual content that it warps your sexuality, because he was gay and wanted to think that was due to thinking about gay sex too much. Jerry did not have a lot of evidence to prove that homosexuality was harmful, so he relied heavily on how β€œmorally distasteful” it seemed to be to suburban Americans.
I spent the majority of my teen years arguing against Jerry’s rhetoric for the right to live as a lesbian online, and I never thought I’d see morality rhetoric in people I’m otherwise very politically aligned with. And I definitely never thought fandom of all things, in all its beautiful subversive glory, would seriously start advocating for censorship, anti-porn, and to consume fanwork with moral purity.
So, I’d like to have a deeper discussion on it, both here on Tumblr and on TikTok, but that does mean checking a few things at the door:
Personal feelings decide your personal life. What you feel is valid for you, not anyone else.
In general, things that do not cause direct and undeniable harm should not be broadly prohibited just because they’re weird or distasteful to the majority of folks. Ex. Loitering does not cause harm and is a tool of systemic oppression.
The discussion of β€œfictional CSEM” is the most inflammatory fork of this and it is often used to derail these kinds of conversations. This is all I will say on it - the legal status of explicit visual depictions of minors is muddy. In the US, there is just one dude in Utah who pled guilty for possessing explicit lolicon he bought by mail order without also possessing CSEM with real children, and explicit writing about fictional minors has been settled as protected free speech. Dedicated organizations from the NCMEC to Chris Hansen have asked that fictional content is not reported as CSAM as it is not actionable and clogs up finite resources. 90% of NCMEC reports were not actionable last year. There are studies suggesting that virtual CSEM or other non-victim alternatives could reduce actual child harm, but there is need for further research.
We’re all in agreement that untagged NSFW is not cool, and kids deserve kid-only sections of the internet. People who are triggered by or dislike problematic content deserve to be able to not see it. πŸ‘
Β (I’ve seen the argument that blocking tags/people should not be required - sorry, PTSD still requires that you manage your triggers, up to and including swearing off platforms just as I have sworn off bars/soap brands/etc to avoid my triggers.)
I have found a lot of accessible and free articles and studies that I will link throughout so that we can discuss the fact-based reasoning, in an effort to have a civil conversation.
(Also because we are not flat earthers, we are Fandom, and if we’re going to be annoying little shitheels in an β€œUm Actually” contest, we’re going to have the sources to back it up.)
Minors and Explicit Material
I’m not supporting minors engaging with explicit material. I have such little interest in the subject that I’m not even going to bring in articles, but you can feel free to. I personally engaged with explicit material as a preteen of my own free will and did not find it to be harmful, and the majority of people throughout human history have been exposed to explicit material at an early age with varying degrees of harm. There are undeniable legal and harm-driven differences between a 12 year old girl looking at Hustler on her own, a 14 year old boy being sent nudes from a grown woman, and a 6 year old viewing PornHub. (And I think the guardians of that 6 year old should be charged with grooming just like the woman, tbh.)
Personal Disclaimer
I’m an adult survivor of CSA and incest. I’m a happily married adult. I don’t personally like lolicon/shotacon/kodocon. I don’t like kids. I don’t like teens. I’m personally not attracted to underage fictional characters. I have family, the idea of fucking any of them makes me want to throw up and die, so I don’t write or read RPF of my family.
I am really, really fucking intense about preventing sexual violence, supporting survivors, and fandom, which is where this all comes from.
I read and love problematic fiction - my favorites are ASOIAF, Lolita, and VC Andrews. The most β€œproblematic” thing I’ve personally written are Lucifer/Michael fics from Supernatural back in 2012. They are β€œbrothers” in CW Christ, not blood. They do not have any blood.
Gen Z and Online Grooming
In 2002, a survey of 1500 minors from 10-17 found that 4% had been solicited for sexual purposes by an adult online.
In 2023, that number increased to 20%.
While the linked 2023 Thorn report suggests that the vast majority of these inappropriate interactions happened on platforms that allow for interpersonal communication, which by and large minors were greatly discouraged from and had less access to in the early 2000’s, a trauma-informed approach does not allow for blame to fall on the children. The guardians of those children have monumentally failed to restrict and educate before giving children the means to access those platforms.
It is my uncited but personal opinion that the increased rate of grooming, as well as an increased interest in combating rape culture, has led to well-intentioned individuals to become digital vigilantes attacking those who they hold responsible for their traumatic experiences in a search for catharsis and justice denied for themselves as well as a desire to make the internet safer for other children, whom they are increasingly aware are entering online spaces unsupervised at distressingly young ages.
Is harassment and bullying bad for perpetrators of it?
Before we get into how ship-related hate campaigns do not affect predation or combat rape culture, we should acknowledge that it’s actually pretty harmful for the people who cyberbully. Not just in the legal/social consequences, but people who participate in cyberbullying and cyberhate campaigns have higher rates of depression, estrangement from their parents, self-effacing habits, social anxiety, lower empathy, and so forth.
One study suggests that the treatment and prohibitive for cyberbullying, which contributes to a culture of cyberhate and a lower likelihood to report or confront other incidents of harassment or toxicity online, can be combatted with media competency to increase empathy along with other important life skills.
Some Common Pro-Censorship Myths
β€œPornography is Addictive/Consumption of Pornography Leads to Increasingly Hardcore Imagery And Ultimately Real-World Violence” - The American Psychological Association does not recognize Porn Addiction as real and the DSM-5 does not classify it as an addiction. Additionally, many methods used in articles claiming that porn is addictive or causes users to seek out more hardcore material were flawed or biased. There is actually some evidence that compulsive porn use, the closest you can get to a porn addiction diagnosis, is associated with shame and the user’s belief that pornography is morally wrong, which sex-negative attitudes encourage.
β€œJaws caused shark culling” - That's unfortunately a simplification that ignores a LOT of surrounding context. WW2’s modern naval battles with an increase of ship sinkings and thus contact with sharks prompted the invention and use of shark repellant by aviators and sailors in the 1940’s. The most deadly and famous shark attack of all time was the USS Indianapolis sinking in 1945, which led to 12-150 deaths. The 1974 book Jaws by Peter Benchley, which was the entire basis of the movie, was inspired by One Fucking Dude who started shark hunting tours and overall seemed to have a really immaculate vibe. The interstate highways that finished in the 1950’s increased beach tourism in the 60’s and onwards, inspiring the American surf culture, further increasing the cultural desire to purge sharks for the new swath of beachgoers and their fondness for using surfboards which make them look like seals to sharks. Additionally, 1975’s Jaws inspired a huge desire for education about sharks, and the relationship between problematic media and education will be the core of this yapperoni pizza.
β€œThe Slendermen Killings/Other Fiction Inspired Crimes” - The ACLU states that β€œThere is no evidence that fiction has ever driven a sane person to violence.” Inspired crimes are indeed no less tragic, and thankfully rare, but people who suffer from inability to discern reality and fiction do not necessarily need fiction to commit violence. The β€œSon of Sam” murder spree was not inspired by a book or movie, but instead Berkowitz’ auditory hallucinations.
β€œViolent videogames DO cause violence” - After a great deal of funding and study, the American Psychological Association has concluded that teens and younger may have increased feelings of aggression and not necessarily physically violent outbursts as a direct effect, but older teens and young adults do not encounter statistically meaningful rates of aggression.
β€œYour brain can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality” - Factually incorrect. Children as young as 5 years old can tell the difference, and they can even be more suspicious about β€œfacts” that come from sources they know also host fiction, such as TV shows.
β€œThis stuff shouldn’t be online because it can be used to groom a child” - While I could not find specific statistics on how often pornography is used to desensitize child victims, nor how often that is specifically used in online grooming, and especially not how much of that pornography is made from fictional characters - out of a mixed group of convicted offenders with adult and child victims, 55% of offenders used pornography to manipulate their victim. I would never refute that explicit fanart or fanfic could be used to desensitize a child, but that is by far not the only tool (asking about sexual experiences/identity, making jokes, etc is extremely common grooming behavior), and there is no evidence to suggest that it is used to a statistically significant degree. In my own anecdotal experience, normal vanilla legal pornography is used with far greater prevalence, and there isn’t a similar movement to shame its production for that possibility. Nor should the creators of any material, pornographic or otherwise, share blame in the actions of a predator.
The Fiction Affects Reality Carrd
(No hate to the person who made it, in fact I give props to them for trying to find unbiased sources, I just want to point out that their interpretations of their articles are kinda flawed and one of their studies is a kind of a perfect example on small and culturally biased samples.)
Reading Fiction Impacts Aggressive Behavior - (I cannot access the full study but this article is the primary source used in the Carrd and it goes into detail) - A study showed that 67 university students were more annoyed with a loud buzzer after reading a short story about a physical fight between roommates compared to a story with nonviolent revenge. However, this study was conducted at Brigham Young University, the same campus where we got a whole video series of hot ethical takes like β€œI’d rather shoot a kitten than drink coffee,” so uh. Yeah. Kind of a prime example on why it’s important to have large and culturally varied sampling. (Another BYU study with 137 BYU students being odd about moral ambiguity in fiction, just because I’m starting to add Dr. Sarah M. Coyne to my list of β€œSarah’s That I Dislike.”)
Your Brain on Fiction - a NYT article that describes Theory of the Mind and how fMRIs captured how readers’ minds would light up centers of muscle control when reading sentences like β€œPeter kicked.” The quote β€œThe brain, it seems, does not make much of a distinction between reading about an experience and encountering it in real life; in each case, the same neurological regions are stimulated” is speaking of motor functions. Emotional centers of the brain were not included in the study.
How Fiction Changes Your World - a Boston Globe article that actually describes how people who read more fiction are more empathetic and tend to believe in a just world. It does not state that the empathy a reader feels for fictional characters extends to corrupting their moral compass. In fact, there’s such a thing as a β€œfictive license” to explore taboo themes more thoroughly because it is not real - 123 participants were interviewed after watching two actors play the part of detective and murderer being interviewed, and participants who were told it was fake had more varied and inquisitive responses.
The Social Impact of Books - Actually reuses the previous study about the just world, so point remains. Empathy is understanding, not mirroring.
Is Problematic Fiction Good for Survivors of Trauma?
It absolutely depends on the individual.
Writing expressively about traumatic experiences has been shown to be effective to reduce depression, or more effective in reducing dysphoria and anxiety than talking to fellow survivors, and Written Exposure Therapy is broadly prescribed to survivors of trauma, with one study centering on car crash survivors finding that WET resolved their PTSD symptoms and continued to be effective after a year.
In this study, which sadly is not available online but it is too important to leave out completely, survivors of CSA were given fictional novels about CSA and in closely reading and analyzing those stories, were able to understand their own experiences and were indeed drawn to write about their own experiences as well.
Engaging in problematic fiction, like all fiction, allows for consent as well as control. If at any point a survivor does not feel in control or wishes to stop, they can at that instant. They can even rewrite their narratives and take control of their story in fictionalizing and changing the account. They can even try to understand what their abuser felt through fiction, which is helpful considering that the vast majority of survivors had a relationship that had been positive and even loving with their abusers at times.
Is Problematic Fiction Good for Everyone Else?
It again depends on the individual.
Antis might be a little right that most people don't want to read problematic stories. In a study exploring whether fiction can corrode morals, 83% of study participants stated that they would prefer not to read a short story justifying baby murder if they had the choice, even if that exploration isn’t inherently harmful.
This very small sample study of 13 participants discussed how young women interpreted sexual themes in writing, including explicit fanfiction, and how that was beneficial and informative to explore sexual desire and examine healthy and unhealthy relationships in a safe and controlled environment.
This meta-analysis further discusses how problematic and sexual themes in YA literature are useful to illustrate what sexual violence looks like, and begin educational conversations through those depictions to break down harmful myths such as β€œif she didn’t scream, she wanted it.”
Empowered by the β€œFictive License” previously cited, problematic fiction can be beneficial for anyone who desires and is capable of consuming and analyzing it.
This study analyzing abusive aspects of three films - Beauty and the Beast, Twilight, and 50 Shades of Gray - concluded that these abusive themes should be discussed to increase recognition and awareness, not censored based on those problematic themes.
This study of 53 women were asked to read different versions of fictional intimate partner violence flags, or β€œtoxic behavior” like surveillance, control, etc. In every version of the story, whether the female or male had those behaviors either courting or committed, the women recognized the behavior as wrong.
Another study that reading allows for the moral laboratory to explore morality in fiction without decisive impact to corroding moral permissibility.
Is There Ever Any Point Where Fictional Interests Definitively Speak On Someone’s Morality?
In short - not really. Loving Jason Vorhees does not put you at risk of murdering campers as long as you know he’s not real. Writing Wincest does not mean you look forward to family reunions, as long as you know incest isn’t okay in the real world. The real world, where real people are harmed, is where you find the measure of someone’s character.
This Psychology Today article is the best source I could find for quotes from a fantastic book β€˜Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head? The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies’ by Brett Kahr regarding taboo sexual fantasies and how they are not only common, but not inherently harmful.
There are people who enjoy problematic media in an entirely nonsexual sense, of course. I myself don’t get off on problematic media - I think it’s just interesting to explore different experiences, and I think that can be revolutionary.
Additionally, fantasies in general have almost always been in the vein of β€œthings you don’t want to really happen in reality.” In a study of 351 asexuals, more than half reported that they fantasize about having sex, but that doesn’t mean that they actually want to. You can fantasize about dating Billie Eilish - it doesn’t mean that you’d be happy dealing with celebrity culture.
(I personally fantasize about the internet being just for adults, but in practice I think that would be incredibly harmful and isolating for at-risk youth and LGBTQ teens) Fantasies always pluck out only the bits of reality that you want to engage with.
If You Get Off On Fictional Kids, You’re Attracted to Something About Them Being Kids
Not inherently, surprisingly. Wearing a schoolgirl uniform is a pretty common roleplay, and it’s not meant to β€œfool” the participants into thinking they’re indulging in pedophilia. There’s a wealth of emotional and sexual nuance in that specific kink - innocence and virginity play, tilted power dynamics in β€˜scolding’ the uniform wearer for dress code violations, even the concept of a sexually provocative β€œteenager” can be played with without shame, because the world of fetish and fantasy is separated from condonable actions for the vast, vast majority of adults. (The only study I could find on this is this small study of 100 white guys found on Facebook, which itself states it is not definitive, found that while there might be correlation between attraction to children and interest in schoolgirl uniforms, there is no proof of causation. AKA, the rectangular pedophile might indeed like square schoolgirl uniforms, but not everyone - in fact, the majority at nearly 60% in this very survey - that likes square schoolgirl uniforms is a rectangular pedophile.)
Even sexual age play between adults is not indicative of pedophilia because it exists in a setting between two adults who fully understand that the mechanics are completely fake, allowing the power dynamics that would be abusive between an adult and child to be ethically explored.
I don’t have an official-looking study to cite, but I have asked people who like content about underage fictional characters why they do so. Overwhelmingly, a lot of the ones who like underage age gaps like the fantasy of an older and more experienced character taking a younger one under their wing, to have the opportunity to commit violent and blatantly objectifying harm and yet try to create what inevitably does not truly pass as consent, but seems near enough to the characters. Some think that the characters themselves have an interesting chemistry. Some read underage fic and still imagine the characters as adults. Some like to explore the feelings of shame that the older character must feel and how they mentally compartmentalize to go forward with the relationship, and how the younger character found themself in that vulnerable position - which is exploring a harmful situation through fiction to understand how it could play out in real life.
People who like fictional incest like exploring the shameful components of that taboo relationship - and I have seen a lot of works that compare how bad incest could be to other harms, like the Gravecest route in a game with parental cannibalism. And then there are folks who like analyzing the codependency of having one person fulfill every social need - family, friend, lover, AKA Wincest.
What makes a predator if it’s not just sexual attraction?
90% of CSA survivors know their abuser, discrediting the still-entirely-too-popular Stranger Danger myth. And shockingly, only 50% of abusers are pedophiles.
That means 50% of child molesters do not have sexual interest in children because they are children, but they victimized children because they are more accessible in lieu of adult partners, with increased rates of incest.
While I could not find a specific study on the relation between dehumanization/objectification of child victims and child molesters (and if you find one, please send it to me!), this study speaks on dehumanization as a precursor to adult sexual violence.
This study, conducted on convicted child molesters in prison, showed that child molesters tend to fantasize about children while in a negative mood, further contributing to the theory that child victims are dehumanized prior to abuse.
This very small sample study found that in a mixed sample of internet only/contact crime/mixed offenders, offenders who had contact with children had lower rates of fantasizing about children.
In short, half the time a child predator is someone who wants to offend against a child regardless of attraction to the fact they are a child.
Resources To Recognize Grooming/Abuse Victims/Predators
I would absolutely be remiss to not share my collection of resources to help detect signs of abuse/grooming as well as warning signs of a predator who may be targeting elders/women/teens/children:
Darkness 2 Light is a fantastic resource overall, this page details stages and signs of grooming.
RAINN personally helped me through my PTSD journey, and this article detailing the signs of sexual trauma in teenagers is thorough and non-judgemental
Signs of abuse as well as warning signs of predation that does not use gendered language nor play into the Stranger Danger myth.
Education, not Censorship
I think a lot of the energy against taboo content among young people still has a lot to do with the desire to end rape culture. The tools that we Millennial Tumblrinas gave you Gen Z kids were snatches of leftist theory, deplatforming, and voting with your dollar, so it’s reasonable to think that removing taboo content like pedophilia, incest, rape fights rape culture.
It doesn’t.
Rape culture is fought by education. Comprehensive sex education, education about consent. Talking about what consent looks like, what sex can look like, what rape can look like.
There should be more taboo content to talk about these things, to show all the shades it can look like. From a violent noncon to fics that aren’t even tagged as dubcon yet still are in shades that are hard to suss out, we should talk about it.
A Non-Empirical Example Of Good Media Analysis and Education to Combat Rape Culture
Let’s use the example of Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen’s relationship in House of the Dragon. Canonically, in both the book and the show, they have a romantic relationship that appears for the most part to be positive (the show being more contentious but I dedicated an aside to Sarah Hess and our beef at the bottom of my Carrd, but feel free to ask how I feel about writing producers with any variation of the name β€˜Sarah’) despite an age gap, a sexual relationship that began while Rhaenyra was a minor, and incest - the problematic hat trick if you will.
I have seen anti-Daemyra shippers condemn Daemyra shippers for β€œCondoning grooming, age gaps, pedophilia, and incest.” Which is not just a broad, inaccurate, and harmful statement, it’s not at all constructive or educational analysis.
It would actually be beneficial to say β€œDaemon is grooming Rhaenyra as a teenager with gifts, devoted attention that takes advantage of her isolation and vulnerability, frequent nonsexual touches, the extreme desensitization to sexuality in the brothel visit,” etc etc. And even so, it is not useful to say that people cannot still ship the relationship and acknowledge those aspects. They might want to further explore the issues of consent in their dynamic in fiction, they may want to strip away some of them with narrative reimagining. Some might want to ignore the taboos completely and indulge in the fantasy entirely, and some might find the actors hot as hell - AKA, anyone who watches the show.
It’s honestly a little similar to me in how Jerry Falwell would tell his followers not to watch or read or take in any media that dealt with homosexuality unless it was condemning it - even Will & Grace was on Jerry’s shitlist. And so, Jerry’s followers missed out on a lot of media that could have educated them about queerness, could have humanized queer people for them - and that did not make queers go away. Just like ignoring or shutting out media about incest, rape, and other forms of sexual violence doesn’t make those things go away - it just tends to make you less informed, and little less capable of empathy towards people affected by those subjects.
So let’s stop shaming those that ship a complicated dynamic - you get less fanworks exploring those taboos, and less of a discussion overall. You shut down the morality lab of fiction, and to be honest, it’s wet sock behavior.
Some FanFiction Specific Studies
How dubcon fanfiction can flesh out the intricacies and messiness of realistic consent
A review of darkfic written about Harry Potter in 2005 (which, I will personally attest has never been outdone in how profoundly taboo those works were)
Interviews with 11 Self Insert writers who wrote on themes of rape, abuse, control, yandere, etc, and how that was beneficial to some who had experienced sexual violence themselves
Conclusion:
H…holy shit, you actually read all of that?? Congrats dude! That is a lot of time and brain power to dedicate to any one thing!
By the way, I am not really gifted at writing articles or any of that junk, and I tried to make my hyperlexic ass a little more accessible instead of bringing out all the $5 words. I am literally just an autistic who took a couple technical writing classes over a decade ago and really wanted to sort out my thoughts and try to have a platform for discussion. Also, I am really fucking bad at math. I failed two different college level statistics classes twice each. Gun to my head, I could not tell you what a standard deviation is, which is why I worked entirely with the percentages.
And I do want to have a discussion! I would in fact like to not report anyone for sending me gore or death threats or any of that stuff! I don’t think everyone will agree with me, in fact I’m certain that you could find studies that contradict some of mine, and I’d love to discuss them!
I’m sure it will still be tempting to throw around accusations of pedophilia because sometimes, confronting your previously held beliefs is incredibly uncomfortable. If you could not do that, that would be great? I don’t like being compared to someone who profoundly abused me just because I have a different opinion on how to combat rape culture and empower survivors. If you can do that, I’ll do my absolute best to be cheerful and welcoming and respectful as well. 😁
PS - I’m also not really going to be phased if you call me weird or cringe - I am. Always have been. Cringe, weirdness, and autism have made me do and capable of doing some fantastically neat and impressive stuff. But if you try to say something like β€œproshippers are too yucky and weird to be in fandom” - I’m going to have to refer you to your similarity to Kate Sanders of Lizzy McGuire fame, you β€œprEpz >:(β€œ - [My Immortal, legendary author unknown]
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hellishjoel Β· 2 months ago
Text
ungodly and unprofessional
5.6k / pairing: linecook!frankie x waitress f!reader
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Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Main Masterlist | Notifications Blog
summary: who said anything about falling in love? you're just co-workers. warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), smoking, descriptions of food and drink, reader is described to have hair (not descriptive of what color/length/etc.) and wears a waitress uniform, explicit smut, consensual somnophilia, swearing, pet names, allusions to bad parenting/parental abuse, descriptions of a parent abusing drugs and alcohol (please heed these warnings and do not read if you are concerned these may be triggers), lastly not beta'd (lmk if you're interested!) A/N: five or six months later, who really knows. believe it or not, I was never not working on this or thinking about it for all of those months... which is crazy. I completely wing these chapters which is probably why it takes so long but you guys don't mind, right? enjoy these cuties falling deeper <3 I almost forgot - shoutout to BistroHuddy on TikTok because one of their segments inspired something in here (but no spoilers!)
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β€œTo love someone is firstly to confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you.” Billy-Ray Belcourt.Β 
You have this silly poetry book someone gave you as a birthday present or holiday gift exchange a few years ago. You’ve never picked it up until now. You’re shocked to say all of these cheesy love quotes and poems make you think of one very specific person: a guy with dark curls, a scruffy beard, amber eyes, and the perfect smile. Francisco.Β 
Falling for a man like Frankie feels like growing upβ€” a sign of maturing compared to the ghosts of terrible boyfriend's past.Β 
Come to find out, it’s easier to go for the wrong guys, easier on your heart in a way β€” you don’t feel like you are actually losing anything.Β 
That’s why you would bet on losing dogs. Invest your emotions and need for romance in those who don’t reciprocate. The ones who despise commitment or lack emotional availability leave you in a state of disappointment.Β 
Better that than full-blown heartache. Better than ripping yourself open at the seams for another, only to be the one to sew yourself back up again. But not better than winning.Β 
The letter Frankie’s father sent him weeks ago had been burned into your brain. Every single word, each break of a new paragraph, lines of apologies, and convincing stories of β€˜the good times’ they used to have.Β 
Frankie appeared to be just as wary about the letter as you were, neither of you so easily trusting. Frankie didn’t trust his father, but you did trust Frankieβ€”end of story.Β 
You’ve never known Frankie to be so tightly closed about something that bothers him. He was the type of man who wears his heart on his sleeve, an open book.Β 
Aside from allowing you to read the letter, you two have barely spoken about it. And not due to your lack of trying.Β 
There wasn’t a need for you to bring clarity to the situation, it wasn’t up to you to encourage Frankie to allow his father back into his life. But there was still a lot of emotional trauma that he carried that he didn’t have to bear alone. You just wanted him to know that you support him in whatever avenue he decides is best.Β 
To forgive or to forget.Β 
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Frankie releases a sigh from his parted lips, squeezing his eyes closed tighter as your alarm chimes from your phone on the bedside table. He hates the fucking morning shift.Β 
The air is sticky and thick, and the fan on his bedroom ceiling is doing little to help. Late August is still taking its toll on Texas and its residents, but he’s reminded that this time last year, he sunk down on his knees in the back kitchen and tasted you on his tongue for the first time. Can’t believe it’s been a year since then. Plus all the events that have transpired since.Β 
There’s no label between you two other than the fact you are exclusiveβ€” putting your focus on each other and not seeing other people. It was good, better than nothing with you.Β 
His eyelashes finally flutter open, seeing you shift in the dark to turn off the alarm, only to dig your face deep into your pillow. He thinks you’re fucking adorable.Β 
Frankie is by no means a morning person, but waking up beside you has changed his perspective. Your hair is a scattered mess, the ponytail having fallen loose in the tosses and turns of last night. The sunlight peaking through the blinds highlights the slope of your nose and Cupid’s bow. Arms tucked into your front, leg hiked up like a ballerina.
His mind starts to swirl at the conversation you shared recently, that you wanted to try something… new. To be surprised. To be taken by him in your sleep.Β 
He was shocked to hear you say it, all shy and meek - it’s not a side of you he sees often. But it’s the vulnerability talking, advocating the trust you share together.Β 
β€œI want to wake up with you inside me.”
Frankie had to blink a few times, his large hand cradling your jaw as you spoke in whispers between the sheets. β€œYouβ€” I didn’t know you’d be into that sort of thing.”
β€œWe don’t have to if it’s not your thing. But there’s something about you moving me where you want me to be, being completely under your control, even a little helpless,” you pause, uncertain if your words would scare him off.Β 
The exact opposite. Frankie was intrigued.Β 
β€œThe thrill of trying not to wake you up.” He continues, watching your glowing smile return, indicating that Frankie understands why this would feel good to you.Β 
β€œMy natural reaction, trusting you, knowing that you’ll be careful, knowing that you’re using meβ€” it’s hot, Frankie. You have my consent, I wanna try.” 
Frankie’s stomach churns with excitement, butterflies spreading through his abdomen and up to his chest, his heart thunking eagerly.Β 
He was slow and methodical, not wanting you to stir from your sleepy state. Nipping at his lower lip, teeth piercing the skin, he works up the courage to touch you. A rough and calloused hand travels up your side, pushing up your sleep tee and watching goosebumps line the tips of his fingers.
Frankie presses slow kisses to the top of your shoulder, feeling his cock swell against the plump of your ass in all of the excitement. He whispers your name, soft and raspy with the morning hour. Other than a small twitch of your nose, you’re out cold.Β 
β€œShh, s’okay angel, m’gonna make you feel good.” The desire stirs in his stomach, urging him to please you in your sleep just like you asked.Β 
With two crooked fingers, he curls them around the band of your panties and slowly drags them down your soft thighs. You let out a slow sigh between your parted lips, Frankie pausing to watch as you settle once more.Β 
Β Slipping two skilled fingers between your legs, he slowly massages up and down your folds. He’s surprised to already feel the slick between your legs, a low groan of approval leaving the depths of his throat.Β 
There’s a shift, your hips squirming for more of his touch. You’re so perfectly pliant for him, causing the embers low in his belly to grow with anticipation, the blood rushing to his cock as it hardens against the curve of your ass.Β 
β€œGood girl,” he remarks as you let out a little whimper upon the pads of Frankie’s fingers finding your swollen clit. β€œEven asleep, you’re nice and wet for me, princess.” 
Goddammit, he thinks, how does she have this much of an effect while perfectly asleep? He can’t stand the feeling of not touching her, the carnal need to take her was strong like a magnet, forcing their bodies together.Β 
One yank and he was out of his briefs, chewing on his lower lip in concentration. He needed to move you, to perfectly fit in the nook of your body, you’d have to be good and yield to him.Β 
Frankie hikes up your leg and fills in the spaces between your bodies, stroking over himself as he slowly lines his leaking tip along your entrance. Just as he notches his tip inside, a quiet and sleepy gasp leaves your perfect pillowy lips.Β 
β€œRight there, baby, you just stay right there for me,” Frankie growls against your ear, his hips flush with yours as he slowly lets inch by inch of him be swallowed by your warm cunt.Β 
After that, there wasn’t a lot of nicety to him. The level of control he carried was lost. He just wanted to take and take, feel and fuck. He wants to use you like his own personal toy; do whatever he pleases with no resistance. You were his to devour.Β 
He’s still inside you, but he’s gotten this far, and you’re still out. Even in sleep, you’re pulsing around his cock, so fucking tight around him that it steals the air from his lungs. There’s a hint of discomfort in your face, a quiet gasp held within your expression.Β 
β€œFuck,” he grunts, the hand he holds firmly on your hip now moving under your sleep tee.Β 
You were so fucking accessible to him, so beautiful, so peaceful being fucked raw.Β 
He rolls your nipple between his thumb and index finger, getting the reaction he’s been waiting for all morning. A sweet, slow moan tumbles loose from your throat, your hips reeling back to grind against Frankie’s lap.Β 
He’s somewhat pleased he knows you this well, knows what gets you worked up and gushing. The fact that even in your sleep, you have this reaction towards him makes the fire burning inside his abdomen grow. Maybe a deep part of him gets off on knowing you so well.Β 
Frankie lets out a sigh at his own thoughts, lightly nipping the skin of your exposed shoulder as he slowly rolls his hips back and glides in again, feeling the drag of your tight pussy keeping him lubed up and warm.
If he weren’t so desperate to fuck you, he’d love to just sit inside you like this all goddamn day. It would probably give him the same comfort as the first cup of coffee.Β 
He gives your breast one more firm squeeze before returning the attention back to your clit, all desperate and tingling with each eager circle he gives you.Β 
β€œSo fucking perfect,” he whispers against your ear, his hips continuing at a steady pace until he simply needs more. He hikes up your leg once again to allow himself more movement, smirking as your ass smacks against the front of his hips with each thrust that now jostles your body.Β 
You’ll surely wake any moment, shocked and sleepy and startled at his cock so deep inside your perfectly spent cunt.Β 
You whimper each time he fills you, your face digging into the pillow as you moan against the cover. Frankie’s efforts grow needy and demanding, fisting your hair out of his way as he sucks marks into your neck; teeth and tongue massaging the skin before leaving a bruise in its wake.
A sweet little sob exits your parted lips, Frankie groaning at the pretty little noises you make.Β 
β€œTake me so well, princess. You want me to keep fuckin’ you, huh?” He snarls against your neck, smirking as you hiss at the sensations you’re feeling all throughout your body.Β Β 
Suddenly, your eyes flutter open. They absorb the settings around you and it all clicks. A long, desperate moan crawls from the depths of your throat, your movements sluggish but your hand eventually clasps onto Frankie’s forearm, his fingers still swirling around your clit.Β 
β€œOhmyβ€” Frankie, fuck,” you gasp as you feel the full force of his cock drilling deep inside your pussy. Your voice is still thick with sleep, eyes cloudy with lust, and skin-prickling sensations that you had never felt before; a million emotions, but the standout being desperation to come undone like this with a man you trust.Β 
β€œThis what you wanted, angel? Wake up with my cock stuffed between your legs?” Frankie smirks as he presses his lips against your cheek, jaw dropping against your own as you ride out the high together.Β 
You cry out something wrecked, a garble of syllables as your spine arches against his front. You weren’t given the pleasure of feeling the orgasm build and build; you woke up at its high heat.Β 
In an instant, your skin was clammy, hair sticking to your skin as desperate pants filled the room, along with broken moans of Frankie’s name.Β 
It’s exactly what you wanted, maybe better. Yes, way better.Β 
You’re so tight, literally clinging to every single inch he gives you as your slick drenches his cock. Your nails dig into his tan skin, feeling the muscles and tendons work to play with your clit.Β 
A whimper leaves you as the warmth in your stomach boils over, turning your head over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of his face. His eyes are dark, cast over with lust as he stole you in your sleep. In an instant, he meets you with a messy kiss, your bodies and the bed still jolting with each rough thrust he gives you.Β 
β€œPlease,” you moan against his lips, nodding your head as you look into his eyes. β€œCome inside me, I wanna feel it, please, give it to me, Frankie,” your words turn into a whine as he begins to fuck you harder, deeper, his tip tickling your cervix as you damn near blackout from the pleasure.Β 
The pleasure inside of you finally reaches the surface. The feeling was like a wave breaching over your rocky shores, washing over you both in pleasure as your cunt spasms around his thick cock.Β 
Frankie spoils your clit as his hips snap against your ass, one, two, three more times before the feeling of you overcomes him. He braces you tightly in his arms, panting against your shoulder, eyes clenching closed as he lets out broken grunts of release. He paints your insides with his spend, both of you relaxing in one another’s hold as you slowly descend from heaven.Β 
β€œJesus Christ,” Frankie breathes, shaking his head with a tilted smirk. β€œYou don’t know what you do to me.” He remarks as you look over your shoulder in a haze.Β 
You whimper as you pull him in closer, fingers weaving into the curls at the back of his head and encouraging him to meet your parted lips.Β 
The words are at the tip of your tongue, and you can feel them spread heat throughout your body. You can hear both of your hearts beating, thundering against the human flesh, and signaling the feeling of being alive.Β 
Frankie waits for the words. The feeling of anticipation has been lingering for quite some time. Your touch of nervousness was welcome, expected even. A moment in time when your heart feels exposed but also overwhelmingly full. Only hoping that the other person feels the same way, yet uncertain of how they will respond. A game of chicken of who will say it first and who will have to respond. The leap of faith one will be forced to make and the right words the other will have to find.
Both roles are downright frightening.Β 
You’re risking everything, the biggest gamble one can make without physical currency.Β 
But he sees the panic behind your eyes, the nervewracking feeling of saying the sacred words to someone, maybe even for the first time. And he knows that they will be worth it to hear.Β 
β€œI know,” he whispers against your lips, shaking his head in a way that tells you he knows what you’re thinking. β€œI know.” 
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You don’t attend church, so you have one question: why the fuck is God sending people to get brunch after Sunday’s service? Why is that their beck and call?Β 
Every Sunday morning, like clockwork, a flock of people flood the diner with their church clothes and a hankering for waffles and Frankie’s house lumberjack skillet (you wanna know what’s in it, don’t you?)
Frankie’s Secret Ingredients:
Potatoes: 1/4 lb (about 4-5 small potatoes)
Olive Oil: 1/2 tablespoon
Breakfast Sausage Links: 3 oz (about 4 links)
Onion: 1/8 of a whole onion, chopped
Red Pepper: 1/4 of a whole red pepper, chopped
Jalapenos: 1/2 jalapeno, sliced (omit if person looks too old to handle)
Butter: 1 tablespoon
Hickory Maple Seasoning: 1/2 teaspoon
Eggs: 2 large eggs
Milk: 1 tablespoon
Cheddar Cheese: 2 tablespoons, shredded
Anyway, Tommy’s Diner is slammed by mid-morning, and you’re working up a sweat. You’re wiping at your neck and forehead every few minutes, and the sun filtering through the windows does little justice to cool your skin. Tina called out sick, which is code for hungover from Saturday. It’s overwhelming. Your brain feels like the scrambled eggs you just plated for that family of four.
β€œEnjoy,” you whisper a little breathlessly, tucking your notepad into the front of your apron, rubbing at your temple with the heel of your hand as you walk past the rest of your tables.Β 
By the time you lift your head, you see a large potbelly man who is waving an arm up above his head, fingers already snapping incessantly. He looked like a chubby rat, with a large dark-haired mustache and a shirt that didn’t fully cover the beer gut he was sporting.
β€œUhm, hello? Miss, can we get some service over here?” 
Jesus fucking Christ. Your jaw tightens a few notches, pushing your hair out of your face and wrapping around to their table. You remember them; you took their table’s order a bit ago now - shit, did you forget their plates? No, you didn’t.Β 
Stopping at the head of their table, you smile politely at the large family.Β 
β€œHi, can I get you something while you wait?”
The man scoffs and snaps, β€œUh, yeah, our food.”
Taking a deep breath wasn’t enough; you were a ticking time bomb. β€œSir, do you see how many people are in the diner? We’re at capacity with a line out the door. I understand you’ve been waiting, but our kitchen is backed up and-” 
β€œBull-honkey-bullcrap, little miss,” the man raises his voice, spitting violently with each syllable, β€œThis is ridiculous! We’ve been sittin’ here for nearly an hour. How hard is it to make some eggs and Mickey Mouse pancakes, huh? You just that stupid? What the hell is goin’ on back there? Are you people completely incompetent, or are you just ignorin’ us?”
Worse things have been said to your face, but you’re at your breaking point. You can feel your face flush with warmth radiating throughout your body. Now, the entire diner is staring at you from all the commotion. Your lungs feel tight, a headache casting heavy behind your face. Tears line your eyes, but you don’t dare let them fall.Β 
β€œAgain, I’m really sorry, but like I said, the kitchen is backed up.” But apologizing isn’t enough. This guy just wanted someone to take his punches.Β 
β€œDon’t even try to apologize. I don’t wanna hear your pathetic excuses. How hard is it to cook some damn eggs? This place is a joke. You must be the worst server I’ve ever dealt with. β€˜Nd I swear, if I wanted this kind of useless service, I’d go to a fast food joint. Is this how you treat payin’ customers, or ya’ll just this lazy? Do your job, or I’ll make sure everyone knows how worthless you and this diner is.”
You clutch the empty coffee pot tightly, biting your tongue. Turning swiftly, you head straight for the back swinging door. You don't intend to contribute to the chaos or the bustling mess in the kitchen, but here, in the safety of the back section, you allow a few stray tears to escape.
Shoulder blades hitting the cold brick, you wish to blend into the wall. It feels like the air’s been knocked out of you, your chest heavy and tight. Every sound around you blurs as the man’s harsh words replay in your mind, louder and louder each time. Your hands shake just enough to want to hide them behind your back, feeling afraid to have eyes on you in such a vulnerable state. Exposed. You’ve absorbed the anger meant for something or someone else, so now, it sticks to you, something you can’t wash away.Β 
Your name echoes once, twice.Β 
β€œHey,” A calm amongst the rushing waves - it’s Frankie. You blink him into focus, bleary tears slowly fading away. His red bandana is tied tight around his forehead to catch the sweat from his forehead and hair. His face is laced with concern. He wipes his hands off on his apron, gently capturing your face as he shields you from the rest of the kitchen.Β 
And just like that, life returns to your body. You can feel the tips of your fingers, previously tingling, wiping under your eyes as you hiccup through your breaths. Frankie knows this high-traffic area will only make your anxiety worse.Β 
β€œIt’s okay, take a deep breath and tell me what happen.”
The eyes of the kitchen staff are slowly starting to turn to you, asking if you’re alright and why you’re upset. Shaking your head dismissively, you blink away your tears and look down at the grubby floor that probably hasn’t been mopped since the invention of flip phones.Β 
β€œI’m fine. This customer just got pissed and yelled at me. He was upset that his food was running behind, and I tried to explain that the kitchen was backed up.” You part your lips to continue, but the jaw drops of the kitchen staff signal shock by your words.Β 
They all start honking in unison like a flock of geese.Β 
β€œHe what?”
β€œWhich fuckin’ table?”
β€œYou okay, sweetheart? Fuck them.” 
Frankie's back straightens stiff, having previously been craning to see your face, now strict with annoyance.Β 
β€œIs that him?” Frankie asks as he walks to the window between the kitchen and the back counter, narrowing his eyes on the rat man and his family.Β 
β€œFrankie, please don't,” you huff, already refilling your pots of coffee and hoping to just forget the whole thing ever happened.Β "It's okay, it happens."
But it’s not okay. Because this guy made you cry, and what the hell was it for? Some scrambled eggs and bacon on delay?
The rest of the line cooks have abandoned their food to gawk at the asshole who thinks he can get away with yelling at one of their own like that.Β 
Frankie tightens his bandana and peels off his gloves, slapping them down in the trash.Β 
His boots thunder across the linoleum, catching the attention of many of the patrons on his way to the booth by the window where the rat man has continued to reside angrily. Even worse, he chuckles at the sight of Frankie.Β 
β€œTake a load of this guy," the rat man appears to mutter to his wife who looks between them both with startled eyes. "Okay, okay, just bring back the pretty waitress. I’ll tell her I’m sorry.” He sneers, shaking his head.Β 
β€œNo, you’re done with her. You’re dealin’ with me now.” Frankie snags an empty chair from a nearby table, turns it around, and straddles the seat as he gets in the burly man's face.Β 
β€œI just feel terrible that we’re not meeting the quality of service you expected. So what exactly is the problem?” Frankie asks with a hint of venom lining his words.Β 
β€œWell- we’ve been waitin’ here for half an hour and-”
β€œRight, and what did the pretty waitress say?”
The man scoffs lightly, feeling embarrassed with all the eyes on him not once but twice now. β€œWell, she said the kitchen was backed up.”
β€œThat’s right, that’s right, well, I’m the fuckin’ kitchen. You wanna yell at someone? Well, I thought I’d give you the chance to yell at me since, hey, I'm in charge of the kitchen today. Please, tell me your honest review.”
The rat man stares blankly, looking from left to right in surprise, but his family all gawks at Frankie.Β 
Frankie waits, eyes unblinking, face hardened as the man sputters up something weak in response.Β 
β€œThis is ungodly and unprofessional,” he gargles, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.Β 
β€œYou’re absolutely right!” Frankie says, smacking the table with his closed fist before pointing at the rat man, the tip of his finger inches from his face. β€œI am unprofessional, but that’s because I don’t have the great customer service skills of our waitresses. That’s her job,” Frankie juts a thumb backward towards the kitchen in your direction. β€œSo now, instead of cookin’ you and your ugly wife and kids some food, I gotta come out here and knock some sense into ya since you seemed to have lost your manners. So you gonna let her do her job so I can get back to mine?”
You can only watch from the window in shock, hand over mouth, unblinking eyes - but it’s like a car crash you can’t look away from. The man is shocked into an embarrassed silence.Β 
β€œWe’ll just… we’ll wait. There’s-uh-there’s a lotta people here.” 
Frankie sighs and smiles with fake relief. He stands from the chair, looking around the quiet restaurant.Β 
β€œAnybody else have somethin' they wanna say?”
They all seem too scared of Frankie to complain again to the psycho chef. Chants of β€˜Everything’s great!’ or β€œThank you!” echo through the dining room.Β 
You smile warmly, forcing yourself to turn away from the scene and clean up your teary makeup in the bathroom. But all you can think about is Frankie. Francisco. Stupid Catfish. Stepping in like that to protect you, to make that jerk take accountability. It makes your heart flutter knowing how much he cares. And you feel the same way.
It’s about time you tell him.Β 
Knuckles wrap against the bathroom door, and an echo of, β€œYou okay?” follows.Β 
He comes in without a response, somewhat relieved to find you adjusting your hair and wiping at the smeary makeup. Your eyes soften at the sight of him, watching in the reflection. He looks disheveled and annoyed, shaking his head as he starts ranting about rat man.Β 
β€œI don’t get how people like that- the God-loving church people- come in here and act like they weren’t just told at a sermon to love thy neighbor or whatever bullshit.”
He continues, but all you do is stare.
A part of you thinks he defends others due to his childhood. No one picks on the people Frankie cares about. That letter riled him up, maybe more than either of you had realized. He’s thinking about those times of the past, the innocent hurt by the deviant.Β 
β€œYou didn’t deserve that, I’m sorry, he’s a fucking dick. You don’t have to take his food out, I’ll do it. Honey,” he breathes, hand resting on your shoulder as he gently turns you around to face him. β€œAre you mad at me? I know you told me not to go out there, but no one makes you cry if I can help it, y’know? I don’t want him to think he can get away with that.”
Once Frankie starts ranting, it’s really hard to get him to stop.Β 
β€œFrankie,” you breathe out, resting your hand over the one he holds on your shoulder.Β 
β€œI mean, does he really think that it’s smart to be rude to the staff? I’ll spit in his food, and it will feel really good because he’ll have no idea.”
β€œFrankie,”
β€œYou’re a good fucking waitress! Doesn’t he see the entire breakfast bar and all the booths filled with guests? The line out the door wasn’t an indication of how busy it is? Get a fuckin’ brain, I mean-”
In an instant, you tilt your chin up, catching his gaze just long enough to see the shift in his eyes before your lips meet. Your hands slide around his neck, fingers weaving into the soft curls at the nape, gently tugging him down toward you. The kiss begins with an urgency, part playful, part to silence his words, but mostly, it's to thank him in a way that words never could.
Frankie’s initial surprise fades quickly as he melts into you, his breath hitching for a moment. His hands travel to your waist, sliding around until they lock just above your hips, anchoring you to him. He presses closer, his touch firm yet tender, and slows the kiss, savoring the warmth of your lips. You feel the way his body relaxes, how he leans in, letting the world around you both fall away as he holds you, close and unmoving, like he’s never letting go.
It takes every ounce of courage in your body to pull away, your lips lingering against his for a heartbeat longer than necessary, as if tethered by an invisible force. Slowly, you break the kiss, your breath shaky, heart racing. His forehead rests against yours for a moment, his eyes still half-closed, unaware of the words hanging on the edge of your lips.
You gently pull back just enough to meet his gaze, your fingers still laced in his hair, trembling slightly. His eyes search yours, soft and expectant, filled with something unspoken but unmistakable.
With a deep inhale, you let the words slip out, vulnerable and raw, barely louder than a whisper, but heavy with meaning.
β€œI love you.”
The world stands still as the words hang in the air, your heart pounding as you wait for the weight of what you’ve just said to settle between you.
And then he smiles like an idiot. And you’re joining him.Β 
β€œDid you say what I think you said? Did you say that you love me?" His voice is soft, teasing, as he presses his forehead against yours, capturing your lips with a few playful, quick kisses between his words. β€œCome on, say it again.”
You feel your heart flutter, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Frankie’s eyes twinkle with amusement. β€œI heard you say it. Now you can’t take it back,” he adds with a grin, pulling you tighter, his arms leaving no space between you.
You giggle, your hands pushing lightly against his shoulders, though he doesn’t budge. β€œStop, that was really hard,” you huff, breathless, as though the words had stolen all the air from your lungs.
Frankie just shakes his head, his smile fading into something softer, more real, as the weight of the moment catches up with him. β€œI’ve thought about better places or times to tell you this, I wanted to wait until you were ready,” he whispers, his voice hushed with disbelief, eyes locking onto yours, β€œbut I love you more than you’ll ever know. More than you’ll ever understand or dream. I love you.”
His thumb traces the curve of your cheekbone, a gentle, affectionate touch that sends shivers down your spine. The intensity in his gaze mirrors your own, both of you lost in this shared vulnerability, your hearts speaking in unison.
β€œI love you, too,” you breathe, the words falling effortlessly this time, as if they’ve always been waiting for this moment.
So, yeah. You sort of love your co-worker Francisco Morales.Β 
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The sun is blindingβ€”orange and yellow streams of light as it is forced to set along the horizon. It’s slow but noticeable, sinking into the land beyond what you can see.
The sun goes down in Texas once again.Β 
Frankie raises his cigarette, its glowing tip mirroring the fiery hues of the sunset.
His neighborhood is tranquil, lined with single-story homes and tree-bordered streets where autumn's touch is just around the corner. Children ride bikes, joggers and dog walkers pass by, and new parents push their baby strollersβ€”a picturesque scene that feels meticulously arranged yet somehow distant. Frankie, too, feels out of place here.
"You got pretty worked up todayβ€”more than usual," you say softly.
Frankie lets out a dry chuckle, cigarette between his lips as he leans back on his elbows, squinting at the fading sun. "Yeah, maybe. You think I’m off right now?" He tilts his head, genuinely curious, as if searching for what’s changed.
You shrug, glancing at him with a fond smile. "I think that letter from your dad has you more rattled than you realize. I found it in your sock drawer this morning."
Frankie’s gaze drops to his lap, a flicker of shame crossing his face.
"I thought you said you were gonna toss it?" you muse gently, watching as his mind churns, cigarette hovering at his lips before he sighs deeply.
"You’re too observant," he smirks. "I don’t know why I haven’t crumpled, burned, or shredded it into pieces by now. I have every right to."
You rest a comforting hand on his shoulder, squeezing the tension there. "But you didn’t. Why?"
Frankie bites his lower lip nervously, glancing your way. "At the end of the apology letter, he asked to take me out for my birthday. Put down the time, placeβ€”everything. Said he’d wait for me."
Your expression softens, letting him know you’re here, really listening. "And you’re thinking about it?"
"Yeah… I guess so. But I don’t even know what I’d say. I’ve only seen him once or twice since I moved out. It’s been years. And when I do see him, I’m thirteen all over again, just yelling at him, so angry. I see his face, and it’s like a switch flips. And that’s not me. You know that’s not me," Frankie stammers, panic flickering in his eyes.
"I know," you whisper, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He pulls you closer, resting his head against yours as the weight of it all settles.
After a deep breath, Frankie gathers himself. "He used to bring out the worst in me. I don’t know if I still hate him as much. Time’s passed, maybe he’s changed. But I’m not holding my breath."
He’s an adult now, more guarded, wiser to the people who’ve hurt him. He’s fought through battles and traumas you don’t even know about. Yet, in his eyes, there’s a flicker of hope. Maybe his dad has turned a corner, maybe he’s cleaned up, seen his mistakes. But you know better than to trust in maybes.
And you’d protect him from being let down again.
"Do you want me to go with you?" you offer quietly.
Frankie’s eyes snap to yours, wide and searching.
"Okay," he says after a long pause. "Let’s do it."
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vivisviolets Β· 9 months ago
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what do you need to hear right now ΰ³€β€· except i have a headache
β†ͺits been 3 fuking days i swear to goddddd 444
ο½‘β™‘Λš
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Λ–βΊβ€§β‚ŠΛš β™‘ Λšβ‚Šβ€§βΊΛ–-pick an image that you feel drawn to- if nothing stands out quickly then close your eyes- breathe- and ask spirit/the universe/god or your intuition/higher self to show you what a pile's content would best suit you, don't be shy!! read through more than one if that's what you are called to do!! i love youuuuu-Λ–βΊβ€§β‚ŠΛš β™‘ Λšβ‚Šβ€§βΊΛ–
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β‹†ο½‘Λš *pile 1 ⚬
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⚬. Five of Swords (reversed), Nine of Swords (reversed), Six of Swords, Three of Wands, Judgement, Ace of Pentacles ⚬.
⚬. β˜„οΈNumber 5, 555, initials/letters H-M-A, sun ruled/dominant, Aries/Sag/Leo/Aquarius Placements, dark coloring or light coloring, face/body freckles, pale or sunkissed, thick hair, loud/blunt tone of talking, action-oriented β˜„οΈβš¬.
⚬. As I shuffled I picked up fire energy, I'm feeling you guys might come across a little intense personality-wise, like blunt or hardheaded in your opinions- you guys make other people feel like the shy or softer friend in comparison to you- I just got interrupted- I think you might have dealt with people in the past who stepped into your energy in an attempt to influence you or give you the impression they care but actually have the intentions to "change" you- I'm seeing someone smiling at you gently with this mask of innocence so you lower your guard down and give them control over you... This might have happened recently- and that's just it. They want to control by feeling that they are molding you into something they find more correct or tolerable. I don't mean to make you paranoid or even more un-trusting of others than you already are, but more to listen to and address inwardly why someone triggers you like that. I'm also hearing that in the past you might have felt you scared off some past friends or connections because they made some pretty lame excuses to avoid you- I'm just getting that you have a very masculine energy, very strong and coming straight from the chest. You guys have solid walls of inner self-concept and that can make people feel very small or meek compared to you, or trigger them to try and control or fix you, thinking you need some healing- when really it's them being triggered because of the self-healing they need to do on themselves... you guys might have mother issues (just finished watching Black Swan it's very much that suffocating toxicity coming from underdeveloped feminine energy) or have butted heads with female family members in your life (if not mothers especially aunts, maybe stepmother? Or grandmothers- female adults in your life)- and you guys are definitely not perfect in the way you handle certain things, regarding releasing control over certain situations peacefully. you guys can be impossibly stubborn, but that's because you stick to it with your whole chest, you just know- and so you bulldoze right ahead- I'm hearing a quote from Fiona Apple's '97 VMA speech, you "go with yourself". Other people's opinions be damned if you see something as your truth you follow it. From that, I'm hearing very Aquarius energy with how much you've mentally formed your own path (air energy with all the Sword cards), but again lots of fire energy I'm feeling. So you could have Aries placements with how youthfully blunt and truthful you naturally are- Sagittarius with how much natural luck and abundance you feel with opportunities being yours- but I'm getting very much lion energy, so Leo- "Lion-heart" "King of the Pride"- is really what your inner energy embodies! I heard some of you are more introverted or might not relate to this description fully because you may not think your external actions reflect that- but I NEED you to know what this is your inner emotional strength and land that you can, and should- tap into!! β˜„οΈβ˜„οΈβ˜„οΈ because it's freaking natural babyyy ⚬.
⚬. You really need to chill with how un-trusting you are with other people's opinions. And I know that is so hard to hear because of the very valid reasons (β—‰ bitches) you've been dealt in life to have those trust issues- but I don't mean collapsing all your walls and becoming whatever anyone is saying, no. This is about you truly standing in all that inner power you have by allowing it to influence how to interact with others- there's knowledge to be gained everywhere, especially when you come from a place of such a strong self-concept. I'm really seeing you guys need to be allowing and being open to support- and I keep getting interrupted so I think you're really on guard with someone or the people you have around you. Again, look inwardly at that trigger and address it so you can take away what is valid in that trigger and also what is your own emotional walls- once you address it, you detach.~ and it's beautiful.~ but anyway, again-again I am also picking up that your suspensions are correct with whoever you feel is fake. So focus and be around people who you actually want to be around- I'm hearing a lot of you hang by yourself out of not finding anyone who interests you... Please do something different than what you normally do- you can find people who don't wish to change you or shrink next to you. You can and will find people who you can exchange knowledge and information with- with SUCH mutual respect like wow- you'll feel so fulfilled in a way you haven't even allowed yourself to think or consider-...might even be co-workers or just people you might have looked over (not trying to paint you as feeling above others or anything like that- you just have big high achiever energy). -Find and share with people who trigger you to become stronger, not weaker,- etc I'm really hearing that you guys being so in tune with your fire energy is really getting you to the places you want to be, it's really aligning yourself to those goals and your motives are really giving your actions a step up- but also you need to give energy to those ideas by sharing them- with the right, positive people (even neutral ppl would be rlly good) Because the support that you'll receive will not only be an energy boost to your goals, but also it will do some powerful work for you inwardly and align you to be more open to so many blessings and even more opportunities.-- I know you guys don't care hearing it because you don't need to, nor want to ask for it- but you are deserving as everyone is of hearing it- I love you β™‘ and everything is turning out in your favor just by you continuing to follow your heart ❀️‍πŸ”₯. continue to open it up and remember to look and enjoy the next sunset you see!! ⚬.
⚬. "I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest" - "I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation" ⚬.
βˆ˜Λ™β—‹Λšβ€§.ೃ࿔ pile 2 ⚬
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⚬. The Hanged Man, Queen Of Swords, Strength, Three of Swords, Eight Of Wands, Six Of Pentancles ⚬.
⚬. 🐚 Number 3, 333, 3333, 1313, 303, 313, bubbles, Powerpuff Girls, girl/boy/kid next door, approachable/young/soft appearance, temu, Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio/Taurus/Leo placements, Neptune ruled/dominant 🐚 ⚬.
⚬. Bubbles!!!! I'm hearing bubbles- so you know, bubble baths/bubblegum/soap bubbles- oh, and of course you might have gone through a Powerpuff Girls phase and you chose Bubbles as the one most like you!! Obviously- right off the bat, you guys are adorable- you're seen as very adorable at least, you might have a very young face or you just give off very playful energy... So I'm mostly getting what other people see you as, so you definitely have a set image in people's minds-... I'm hearing though you might not like to hear that? A lot of this perception of you is largely online and in online groups, so you have curated a certain personality + an aesthetic for online and in said online groups (hearing for a lot of you it's Discord, but I'm also hearing Instagram group chats + Instagram engagement)... Maybe you've been regretting portraying that online persona? in those online spaces specifically- I will say this pac is all ages but I'm hearing that a lot of you might feel like you made some "bad choices" in how you portrayed yourself or who you interacted with that made you come across naive, and that can be a lot of things like- having weak emotional boundaries and being too emotionally open to people (like being the one who people trauma dumped to), getting wrapped up in some shady trading or in group business, or ignoring red flags of certain people in the effort to be the kind and sweet one of the group (you might of had a problem with a lot of creeps in your energy.. and dms ugh ew β—‰ β—‰ β—‰)- I don't care what your age is, don't be hard on yourself!!! For this reading, you are literally my baby and I will not be harsh to you, idgaf if you came for harsh advice. I will only be saying things to guide you forward. because literally, I don't see you doing anything genuinely wrong. I think this situation you got in made you feel like you were some stupid baby duckling- it made you feel like your inner strength was weak and worthless- and you're putting a lot of self-blame on yourself- and that's just what that is, self-blame for how other people chose to engage with you.- I'll just tell you, you are so precious- no matter the reason you engaged in what you engaged in, you came in with pure intentions and creative eyes!! you felt like testing your waters regarding your own self-expression and wanted to give to others along with that β™‘ and that's wonderful and ok to have wanted!! You guys are highly creative btw, and very interested in how you can express yourself- the first cards I drew were associated with water, so you may have prominent water placements of Pisces/Cancer/Scorpio- any of those are very you. You might have been deemed as the "cutesy artist" by others,- you might do something creative like drawing (I'm seeing some supaa cute digital art), cosplay or make up, maybe even music?- Very dreamy~ and also very giving of yourself emotionally- that's not a harmful thing my darlingβ˜†!! it's not "weak-minded" or deserving of being taken advantage of- nonono STOP THATTTT-... you really had something happen that threw you into a tailspin. You might be the overthinking type- you're taking everything to be a defining moment of your emotional intellect, or your very worth as a person... noo baby stop that- I literally need you to brew a cup of tea or a little treat, -I'm getting straight up teary-eyed with a lump in my throat rn- take a few deep breaths, drink a little cup of water, watch some youtube or anime- and just let yourself shed some tears if you want to.. freaking obviously feel however you want to feel because that's healthy to do but please stop placing all the blame on yourself like that's the full picture of what happened. ⚬.
⚬. ok so- you're gonna freaking reinvent yourself. Because I know you want to, but- πŸ‘ you πŸ‘ will πŸ‘ not πŸ‘ do πŸ‘ it πŸ‘ out πŸ‘ of πŸ‘ selfπŸ‘ shame πŸ‘.......πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ - nah booboo, because there was nothing wrong with you to begin with, inwardly you are SO pure-hearted to yourself and those around you- AND THERE IS NOTHING that should be deemed wrong about that, holy shit. let me chill- this reading is peace and loveπŸ•Š only ofc... That's exactly it btw- you will be reinventing yourself out of peace and love- for yourself. out of peace and love for the version of yourself who felt vulnerable- taking what has made you feel vulnerable, and turning it into strength. And I'll just say, the actions that you'll be taking will be very much inward- and so you may see your "glow up"/transformation as too slow, but honey- that is exactly how what's needed in becoming SO secure in yourself. You might even go dark in a lot of your online spaces- if you haven't already which btw, process and remove any shame connected to having left certain spaces. how things fell apart was how it was meant to happen and has now gotten you to this point- which is amazing and awesome because you're gonna transform to be completely badass β˜…!!!! And I know you're thinking and worrying about how you won't be around to give to others to which i say- kiss your sensitive heart for being so precious~β™‘ because this is about you now. and everyone is going to feel that, no more placing your self worth on how happy you make others- its time for you to actually take enjoyment in yourself!!! and you are going to be looking so good- your inward growth is going to reflect your outward appearance, if you want to start switching up your style now's the time to go for it!!!!- but again, big focus on your inner self-love and growing your self-worth- and if you do choose to share your journey, make it in a smaller circle of people you can trust!! definitely send those new style pics to the inner circle if you feel free and fulfilled inwardly- you'll totally be praised like "omg (x) is really evolving they're looking sooo good..."- but anyway, just trust me ok β™‘ because you're going to look back on all that you're feeling- all the hurt, confusion, negativity- and you're going to be stunned like- omg, if i hadn't felt and experienced and processed all of that, i wouldn't be feeling this good rn. So start that process!!!!! Get yourself a cute journal if you don't already have one with cute pens (record yourself to look back at later), start watching youtube videos on self-concept and emotional processing, saturate your mind with all that self-improvement- self-discovery- and building yourself up to be all the joy and love you bring to others (and hotter than evaaa😎), all for yourself β™‘. I freaking love you~ now go get your sweet treat!!!!! (or two, that's totally ok~ just for today~) ⚬.
⚬. "And nothing hurts like you do- like the way you say I love you" - "See it on your face you won't ever change in your ways" - "When your torn apart you'll destroy me again"
⚬. *tw: themed song is dark for this pile like wuttt, but it just kept replaying in my mind during the reading so maybe it'd be your thing? idk lollll ⚬.
ο½‘β­’β­’ΛšΚšΙžΛšο½‘Λšpile 3 ⚬
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⚬. King of Pentacles, The Tower (reversed), Two of Pentacles, Queen Of Wands (reversed), Knight Of Swords, Seven Of Swords ⚬.
⚬.πŸ•· Student life, number 1-12-6, 1111, 1212, 666, lawyer or law practice type degree, thin or medium length hair, natural eye bags/under eye veins, INTP/INFJ, monochromatic clothes, cotton loungewear, Sagittarius/Virgo/Taurus/Capricorn/Libra placements, mars ruled/dominant πŸ•·βš¬.
⚬. Okkk pile 3s, I must talk about your appearance and aura because... Wow!! I am enchanted- I see you are very statue-esque, so you may be on the tall side, especially for my women/afabs it's a very noticeable trait about you, of course you can be a normal height but there is just something about the way you are built that is very statue-like. And that appearance really shows who you are inside and your inner energy because you are soooo calming, mature, and also very spiritual in your self-concept- like if you were my friend and I had you in my inner circle I would trust you with so much, like you're held high in your own inner circle/peers. Maybe you don't feel that way because while you guys are very much givers of your time and nurturing nature- you know to put yourself first on your list of priorities, and that, not only is what makes you so good at your time management (like how do you it??? Please teach meee), it also gives you this air of independence- very natural independence too like, you're again a nurturing and giving being but you treat yourself with that same energy. I'm seeing a large tree in the middle of a expansive and dense forest, and all that magnificent health flowing through that forest is thanks to that tree right in the middle self-regulating and thus creating all that health that all of the life around it can benefit from… So yea self-care is a big thing for youuuu~ I'm seeing the routines you have are very simple so they just blend in so effortlessly into your daily life, and it is literally what is making you into that magnificent tree full of self-regulating energy. Again really simple, minimalist style of self-care- I see morning walks/jogging and journaling to clear and refresh your mind space, you may like to read, and prefer audiobooks or mindfulness-centered podcasts over other forms of media to help you relax and refocus, I'm seeing you like to not be strict with your diet but instead add to it things like fruits-veggies- and more purely sourced foods- your skin care is very simple with few-if any- products and your consistent with it as you are with everything else in your life. Even if you feel like you're "failing", you aren't. and deep down you know that you aren't- you've grown so much and that's really tapped you into not just self-responsibility/regulation but also to give yourself the grace to breathe. That's so beautiful!!!!!! ugh. And like- all of this natural self-focus you have, it's so spiritual- it's not grounded in your ego. You're just so in touch with your highest self. And lovely, they/she/he is so proud of you. I have to say again, if you were my friend, you would definitely be the person I'd go to- to take care of my puppy for 2 weeks in complete peace, and someone I'd have a drink with on a Saturday night all made up and done up talking about the deepest of topics. ⚬.
⚬. Very interesting personality and image I was getting and building up compared to the cards I pulled- I'm getting you might not have always been this balanced in your personal life and emotions, in fact you might have been very much the opposite… Because you grew up in an environment very unlike the one you are currently building for yourself- you may have had a toxic and vicious mother or other feminine figures that really put the fear of God in you and also made you fear yourself with the thought of one-day exuding and feeling such damaged feminine energy…. You might have also had a lot of friend drama- for those older reading this, this happened in your youth (middle-high school) and to those still in mentioned youth, you're freshly out of it (-good for you ily), said dramatic struggles was a reflection really of all the chaos of your home environment and all of the pent up intensity of it… I'm just hearing so many arguments and you feeling like you're being set on fire over and over again... So I'm getting with how much of a shift you made, you feel this coldness in your heart space- partly due to how fiery and emotional your past way of existing was, and also because while this shift that you made for yourself is excellent considering where you came from, it also happened very suddenly- and while you have implemented many new healthy habits… I'm seeing your past wounds still remain open. You can't bring in the new without clearing out the old... while you've done the work of shifting from the old habits to new- that's only half of the battlefield within you that has been fought and conquered, and now you need to face the other half instead of journeying away from it. Because even with all the peace you've found and created for yourself, what you have not faced, felt, and processed for the final round still remains… Maybe you fear your peace and balance being threatened by opening up your hurt, and that's totally understandable and valid. But if you wish to build a peaceful future, you must make peace with the past version of yourself. They/she/he who's still wrapped up in the chaos around them, mimicking that chaos back out of fear, feeling completely alone-that version of yourself needs your attention and healing more then ever. And I know you like to journal or record your thoughts, so allow those darker feelings and wounds into the space- keep the learned peace you have found and treat yourself with that gentleness past you wished they had been given-address them and ask them what memories stick with them most vividly and ask how it made them feel-how it made you feel at the time. Ask yourself what traits you feared most about the people who hurt you and analyze them- the emotions behind them and their cause and effect- and look within how you may be playing out those same traits stemming from the trauma of experiencing them.. I know I'm getting really heavy now, but that's just it- as you are growing upwards and becoming lighter, what no longer serves you grows heavier- and it needs your addressing, so you can become all that you want to be and exist as. You've already shown yourself that you are capable of finding and attracting peace, so now it's time to give yourself the peace of healing. Be the bigger girl/guy/person to yourself, allow yourself to feel it and address it in this safe space you've created. OK BESTIEEE I'm wishing you so much love and joy in your inner discovery journey- I loooove youuu ⚬.
⚬. "There's a fine line I've been walking" -This is where you fuckers pushed me, don't be surprised if shit gets ugly" - "-there's a fine line between broken and breaking- spent my whole trying to change what they say about me- sick of walking that fine line" - "I feel safest in the silence" - "-my whole life I've had something to prove, to you" ⚬.
⚬. *Bonus song*: Too Far Gone by Kesha ⚬.
⚬. oh my- okkk you got to the bottom- hiiiiii- byeeeee πŸ‘‹
love, vi~β™‘
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reshinless Β· 1 month ago
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hello reshi good weather today innit
first of all iwant to say that i LOVE YOUR WORKS i gobbled them all up its not funny πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚hheneelelpp…… the brainrot is real and its eating AWAY!!!!!!!!!
seconf of all i keep going back to your kinich breeding kink fic. which made me wonder liek what do u think about dad kinich ,??:?\ mmmaybbeee…. mayhaps…
FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS no pressure ^_^
also can i be 🦒 anon i think ill probably return
hallo 🦒 nonnie!!!1!1!1 and ty, I'm happy lots of ppl read n enjoy my stuff, feel free to send more ideas >_0
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he'd honestly frfr be a super good dad. like as someone who's learned that life is precious, and he's happy to have made some with you.
but if you take it in the single parent kinich aspect insteadβ€”he's just such a good dad, and often leaves hi child with mualani IF he still decides on doing saurian hunter stuff. but for sure I feel he'd leave the night warden war stuff behind
he honestly felt...somewhat scared. he fact he might have been about to lose his chance to hold his little girl again :(
oh but real talk he'd let his kid get their own saurian. I feel like he'd get them a saurian that is anything but whatever ajaw is.
he loves to throw them up in the air like genuinely he loves it so much.
same with swinging them, probably makes a playground set for them from scratch because his kid asked
he watches cartoons w your guys' children and acts like it doesn't really hurt him when something crazy happens to the mc
like ex. trolls when poppy lost her color. he was just as heartbroken as your daughter.
lowkey gains a dad bod if you think about it >_0
he always does the "ask your mom/other das" when it comes to serious stuff or things he doesn't wanna answer
example: kid asks about where babies come from..? go ask your mother sweetheart.
he brings the kid on his adventures sometimesβ€”sometimesβ€”only because it's his gift to them. but he knows if it were any other occasion then the kid's birthday you would kill him πŸ’ž
whenever you both do corny couple stuff the kid is always gonna go "ewwww!!" and run away while laughing.
"well would you rather me and your daddy fight all the time?" you joke as you finish braiding the little splitting image of you both's hair. "nooo! never! but you guys are cheesy!"
ajaw will be teaching the kid swear words and then blame it on kinich
like randomly while you and kinich are discussing things about I don't know getting a yumkasaurus for your little girlβ€”you hear the same little one shout the word 'fuck.'
"where on earth did you hear that word from young lady!" "from daddy." "KINIIIICH!!"
and ajaw giggles behind the curtain watching everything unfold and he's rubbing his hands together like "muehehhehe... ur done kinich!!!..." even when u meant ur scolding light hearted after finding out about uncle ajaw. and will scold ajaw later.
thanks for coming to my ted talk
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boiohboii Β· 1 year ago
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Protective girl (Charles Leclerc x reader)
Inspires by @charles-eclair16 's fic
When fans go too far, yn wants to protect the one treasure in her life
or
in which we finally get to see the roles reversed
N.B: this is been in my drafts for so long, omg! Let me know what you guys think!! WARNING: not proof read, some swear words, might have messed up a date, don't focus on any dates mentioned, this is all fictional anyways. Hope you guys like it
masterlist
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Liked by Arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,379,064 others
itsmeyn: charles always goes above and beyond for every single fan of his, he tries to take as many pictures and sign as many autographs as possible, but what happened last night was a fucking joke. He doesn't like what I'm writing cause he says that it was just a mistake and that it was fine, but it really isn't, it's so disrespectful and disgusting! He always wants to meet his fans and make them happy only to receive this insanity, him falling AND HURTING HIMSELF because some of you can't fucking wait and be organized like a human being! Charles isn't an animal in a zoo where you race to pet him! He is a human being, he is a son, a brother and a boyfriend! This wasn't just an accident, i have seen these 6 girls multiple times in multiple places! it's so obsessive and so so sick of you to follow him everywhere.... Charles won't speak up because he is Charles and he lives seeing the good in people, but I will tear everything and everyone for his safety, so for you 6 girls you will be hearing from court soon so better prepare a good lawyer you assholes!
Comments on this post have been disabled.
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Liked by leclercboy, ynistheitgurl, fuckferarri and 91,739 others
F1_updates_live: Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, YN LN, seen today arriving in front of the UK's courthouse in a red SF9 Ferarri. It had been quite a week for YN as she was seen hitting a fan after the said fan pushed Charles. YN took this fan and 5 others to court, no one knows on what bases but what has come out is that she has won the case which means that Charles and YN have restraining orders against the group.
username: OHH HEEEELLL YEAAAAAHH
username: yn doing God's work
username: yn serving justice
username: that's what we needed
username: hot girl shit
username: the car and suit combo is so fucking hot of her
username: I think this is too much, like these girls just wanted to see Charles
username: @.itsmeyn can we make them 7?
username: another one
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Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, pierregasly and 617,829 others
itsmeyn: don't blame me, love made me crazy
username: YN IS A FELLOW SWIFTIE?!?!?
username: if I had a nickel for everytime yn and I had something in common I'd have 2 nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice
username: now I just want her to watch all the charles edits done with a taylor song
itsmeyn: who says i already don't 🌚
username: and I oop-
username: THIS IS THE SWEETEST AND CRINGIEST SHIT EVER!
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Liked by wolfffam, maxverstappen1, lance_stroll and 817,629 others
itsmeyn: congratulations to my baby, the love of my life, you deserve it and so much more β™₯️β™₯️
username: FINALLY!!
username: idk how to react, ferarri has let us down too many times that all I know is lose
username: I don't see how he deserves it tbh, all of his results are shit for quite a while , he's only where he is cause he's driving a ferarri πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
itsmeyn: oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the one in a formula one car, in a ferarri, that by the words of many professionals is at its worse era. I don't care about you and your opinion but don't state it as a fact, no one can do better with these strategies. I hate to keep saying this but when your own fucking team doesn't have the same dream as you it turns to shit. Even if charles is the only one in the car, it's still a team sport, not a one man sport. Fuck you and your tiny ass brain that can never survive one lap in a formula one car, it'll probably explode cause of all the bullshit in it before the first lap anyway. So next time you wanna talk shit maybe try to do fifth of who you're criticising is doing, I bet that'll shut you up real quick you dimwit.
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Liked by leclercpascale, pilotesofmonaco, tswiftyn, and 52,719 others
F1_updates_live: YN LN, Charles' long time girlfriend, seen today fighting Xavi in Bahrain due to his mistake on the radio which resulted in Charles losing his podium position.
username: good for her
username: charles is so lucky
username: I love how she always stands up for him
username: honestly, whenever charles or carlos ignore the strategies they win... I really wanna see more of that.
username: this is just Monaco 2024 GP all over again, yn was so fucking furious (rightfully so) cause Xavi's mistake costed charles a p1 in his home race.
username: this shit was so heartbreaking man
username: I think this was the first time we ever saw yn angry at sabotaging charles, like the most we saw was her holding his hand when crossing the street, making sure he eats first, playing with his hair when nervous, but I've never seen yn make someone literally cry until 2024 with Xavi being her victim
username: pffft, victim, he 100% deserved it
username: oh yeah, definitely. All my homes hate Xavi, like can you not say the strategy properly πŸ˜’
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itstheghostofmypast Β· 6 months ago
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Snookums
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Idol Choi San x (f)Reader
Summary: Pink really was his colour, and she was nothing more than his number-one supporter and number-one tormentor.
Genre: Fluff (its just a lot of floof)
Word Count: 1.1K
Est. Read Time: 5 min
Warnings: None
Rating: PG-13
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @san-network @illusionnet
Banner: @cafekitsune
A/N: Well, back to revising for the last exam (i swear I'm at my limit)
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"What did you just call me?" he paused mid-game, "No- not you- guys wait up, gimme a second, I have to deal with this." with that he muted himself, before turning to what he had to 'deal with', and what he had to deal with was laying on her side, curled up, facing the wall, her phone in hand as she mindlessly scrolled down, one reel after another, after she had mumbled the most grotesque thing known to man, oh so casually, leaving him in utter shock.
"Hello- I'm talking to you," he called out, reaching for the rolled-up sock on the floor, waiting for her response, once he got none, he decided to throw it at her, snorting when it landed right between her face and her phone. Now, all he had to do was wait for her to realise-
"EW! WHAT THE HELL!" her screech caused him to smirk, especially when she sat up to face him, tossing the sock back at him which he dodged with ease, before hopping off his chair and onto the bed, which led her to whine and try to escape, only to have him grab her by the waist and pull her onto his lap, her back pressed flushed against his chest as he placed his chin on her shoulder.
"Now, what did you call me?"
"Nothing~" with a whine she tried to pull away, only for him to pull her closer, squeezing her until she was wheezing out a laugh. His lips brushed against her pulse, trailing up to her jaw until he asked again, "What did you call me?"
"Nothing!" she laughed, trying to wiggle out of his grip, which was pointless, man all that protein was really doing it's stuff huh? Thankfully, she was a smart girl, which meant she could find her way out. Reaching for the pillow beside them, her fingers gripped the edge of the cotton as she hummed, "I called you...." she began, grip tightening on the pillow, "My itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, hunky-spunky, floofy, cutie-patootie, SNOOKUMS!"
WHACK
As soon as the pillow squared in on his face his grip loosened on her, she made a run for it, leaving the pillow, tumbling out of his lap as she crawled to the other side of the bed, trying to make her escape, only to feel the beast grip her by the ankle, a shriek breaking past her lips as she looked back to meet the glare of a man ready to fight- "Sannie~I'm just a gir-umf"
"No, you're a menacing, little minx!" he huffed, making sure to not put all of his body weight on her, just enough to pin her down under him, smirking when he noticed her gripping onto the edge of the bed, "Did you call me that because I wanted to play a round first?" he asked, only to receive a muffled, "I can't breathe you, big baby."
Rolling off her he sighed, chuckling when she followed, only to slap her hand on his tummy, causing him to wince, whining as he rubbed the spot, face turned to her, while hers was turned to him, both on their backs, laying on the bed, staring at each other.
"What?" she snapped, though her hand was now laced with his, earning a look from her lover causing her to scoff, "It's a cute nickname." Moving closer to him, she pressed onto his side, turning onto hers, so she could hook her leg with his, an arm wrapped around his torso (nah, she tried to, so she was just gripping onto his sweatshirt), chin on his shoulder, so close that their tip of her nose bumped against his, her breath fanning across his face, tickling his skin, "I just think my Sannie-wannie, is an itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, hunky-spunky, floofy, cutie-patootie-"
"Snookums...I know...and as much as I love you- what the f*ck is up with that, that's not a name, it's a whole family tree," he mumbled, tilting his head so his forehead bumped against hers, the thump, causing her to wince, pouting in return.
"I saw your pictures from your Vogue photoshoot in pink~ It suits you," she giggled, her face flushing at the way he raised a brow at her, his signature cocky smirk gracing his lips, causing her to bury her face in his shoulder, "But then I saw your pictures in a tiara~ my boyfriend is such a babygirl~"
"I am not a- the vogue one- I- stop~" he whined, turning on his side to hug her, pulling her closer as he rested his chin on top of her head, squeezing her every time he heard her giggle, "Stop that~ I'm big and strong." His whining only led her to cackle, pulling back a bit as she looked up at him, smiling at the way he had been glaring down at her, visibly irritated by her annoying antics, though she also noted the pink dusted across his cheeks, and how his ears were a cute hue of red- that's what he gets for playing stupid games instead of paying attention to her.
"You just did this so I'd pay attention to you huh?"
"Is it a crime to ask my boyfriend for love~"
"No, no it is not-"
The door slammed open causing her to yelp, and press herself against him, burying her face in his neck, as he tilted his head upwards to look at- oh shit.
Yunho standing there in all his glory, seething, no, fuming, marching to pounce on the fool who left him hanging mid-game, but his steps faltered when he saw another figure next to the idiot, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he ran a hand over his face.
"Next time, just don't play if you have someone over." He mumbled, frowning at him, only to give her a smile when his eyes met hers, earning a sweet, "Hi Yuyu."
"Hey...sorry for barging in. Enjoy your evening." He concluded as he walked out the door, only to pause when she called him out again, having him turn in the doorway to face her as she sat up enthusiastically, " You wanna know what Sannie is?!"
Confused the taller male raised a brow, nodding in return, not noticing the way the other man had begun to panic, especially when she took a deep breath and began narrating, "Sannie is an itty-bitty, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, hunky-spunky, floofy-"
Yunho only nodded, confused at first, but as soon as her words were cut off a Cheshire-like grin stretched across his face as he smiled at the panicking feline-looking man, nodding again as he slowly closed the door with a soft click. Clasping his hand on her mouth, he pulled her into his chest, facing Yunho with eyes filled with nervousness watching him leave, no, this was not going to end well for him, he was in love with the spawn of Satan.
"I love you Sannie~" she giggled against his palm, though all he could do was stare at her helplessly, so in love, yet in so much pain- oh that's what he gets for ignoring his little minx.
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Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @spooo00oky @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp
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joonsytip Β· 9 months ago
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All Too Well || Wonwoo
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Synopsis: With Wonwoo's dilemma hitting the wall and your perseverance getting stronger, will the events unfold as foreseen or the fate will turn its course?
Word Count: 2k
Third and final installment of Wonwoo drabble series (set in the Withering for You universe but can be read as a standalone drabble series).
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
Say Don't Go | So It Goes | All Too Well
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It's been a week since Wonwoo has seen you. When he woke up that fateful day along with nothing but the void you, it didn't take him long to recollect the happenings from within the car to his sheets. The slightly recovered bruises on his knuckles and the bloodstains on his bedroom wall are the witnesses of the frenzy state he was in, still is.
The guilt of sleeping with you eats him up. The regret of getting wasted and causing the slip of his true feelings and also his dick into you, makes him wanna get swallowed by the ground. He hates that his subconscious mind was conscious enough to hear your sobs but did nothing to stop them.
Wonwoo contemplates for the whole week that follows. He wonders if he should contact you or let you have your space and contact him whenever you're ready.
He's not clear in head, unsure of what he'd say on seeing you again.
Sorry, it was a mistake. He wonders if he should go ahead with the classic lie and be an entitled jerk, letting you berate him which would gradually help you in letting go those feelings for him.
It wasn't a mistake, I really meant everything I said and did but sorry we can't be together. This seemed too much of truth bombing in a situation where the other party (you) is already hurt beyond repair.
In his mind, he tries several other permutations and combinations but never considers that one way which would save everyone from the headaches and all the heartbreaks.
Everyone can sense the shift, something has definitely happened by the way you have been avoiding meetups and can guess the reason to be Wonwoo. They can't pinpoint exactly but they're sure it started right after that night's party.
"I need you to take everything off your chest while I'm asking you nicely.", your best friend tells you, "My patience has been thinnedΒ nowadays and don't make me loose my temper."
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, as you look at her and Seungcheol whose eyes are begging you to comply with his wife because she can indeed be scary.
"Do you want Seungcheol to be gone from here?", she asks, her gaze softening, "It's okay, he won't mind."
Before you could answer, Seungcheol is already off his seat saying, "I'll head back to the office, have some matters to take care of.", and he leans to peck his wife on forehead, "Call me if you need anything and let me know once done, I'll come and pick you up."
After Seungcheol leaves, a comfortable silence falls upon.
"You're already showing.", you say smiling and your best friend mirrors one to you.
"Four months already", she says caressing her protruding belly, "Time flies by, I swear it feels like yesterday I took the test and it came out positive. Seungcheol had cried the whole night, holding me close. Though he has became a lot more sensitive than me.", she adds and looks at you, "But enough about us. I came here just to make you lift some weight off. I could have brought Gyu, but I thought we should have a one to one before letting the guys know if at all you're willing to."
When your gazes meet, you can tell that she already has an inkling because her hunch has always been accurate. So you squirm in your seat and after failing to keep the tears at bay you tell her what had exactly happened in a messy-teary state.
After consoling you, she waits for you to stop crying, blinking back her own tears.
"Are you planning to address this to Wonwoo?", she asks softly.
You shake your head, "He probably doesn't even remember."
"Bullshit." she scoffs, "Are you waiting for him to contact you? Do you want me to talk to him?"
You chuckle with all bitterness, "Yes, I wanted him to contact me but it's been a week already and honestly, I don't even want to see him now because he'll repeat the same words, which are not exactly pleasant to hear. I hate how right headed he is, how all his fears are legit. I wouldn't have done it either."
You lean up to look at her, "Also, I don't want you to talk to him and I'd appreciate it if you can keep this to yourself because we're in the same group and the guys would cause a ruckus if they become aware."
She strokes your hair in a soothing manner and you almost drift off until she nudges you to tell something but you're already dismissing her off, "Don't even think of trying to do anything. I've just accepted my fate, I'll gradually move on."
Another week passes by and Wonwoo thinks he's ready to confront you. He had taken the entire office, everyone in his circle by surprise by taking an entire week off. Seungcheol being an amazing boss and understanding friend easily granted his request in the best hopes of having his friend clear the clouds clogging in his head.
Wonwoo sends you a text asking you to meet him whenever you're free. He clutches the phone tightly in his hands, feet tapping anxiously as he awaits your reply.
When he doesn't receive one after an hour, he's calling you only to be unanswered. Rationality leaving his bones, he keeps on calling your number until it gets recieved and it's an unfamiliar male voice answering the phone.
There's a sharp pang in his heart when he gets to know that it's your blind date who has picked up the call since the phone kept ringing and you've gone to washroom. Though he wants nothing but to rush to whenever you currently are, he curtly ends the call and decides to wait for your reply to his text.
His unwavering gaze directed towards the phone might have worked because he receives a response late at night and he's meeting you tomorrow.
You are unfazed, never once thinking about Wonwoo. That's what you try to tell yourself, that's how you plan to act in front of him. You don't anticipate his arrival at your apartment, that's partially true because you know you're gonna get heartbroken again because even though you want to tie the loose ends, you're sure he's only coming to cut them off wholly.
So you tell your mother who has been nagging you to get married to set you up for blind dates and this time you promised you'd seriously consider them with marriage perspective. Hence, today you're going to another date with someone you know this time and not at all impressed about.
The doorbell rings and you check the monitor to confirm that it's Wonwoo before letting him in.
"Are you going somewhere?", Wonwoo asks as he settles on the couch and you take a seat on the chair.
You nod, "Going on a date with Minjun."
Wonwoo's jaw clenches, his hands ball into fists as he asks, "Kim Minjun? He's a womanizer, Y/N. Didn't you go on a date yesterday?"
You scoff, "And how does that concern you anyway?", your lips curl up, "People can change after marriage."
Wonwoo short circuits at your verbal jab.
"Marriage? How can you even consider Minjun out of all people?"
Your expression turns grim when you say, "If I can't marry the person I love then marriage for me would be just another business deal, another merge to benefit the company, solidify our social status."
Trying to maintain the unbothered facade, you ask, "Why did you want to meet?"
"Why did you leave me alone in the bed?", Wonwoo asks toning down, "When you left, you took all of the warmth with you."
You suck in a sharp breath, breaking the eye contact.
"Within these two weeks I went through all sorts of possibilities from never acknowledging the fact that we slept to being a jerk, dismissing it as a simple hookup to letting you down subtly.", he gets up and walks up to you, crouching in front of you, "But as I pondered over, the only honest answer residing within my heart was not to be a coward anymore and be honest about my feelings, be honest with you."
Your heartbeat quickens, as his hands encase yours, you feel the warmth seep from him.
"I love you, Y/N.", Wonwoo confesses, "Like you, I have also harboured feelings for you for a long time. I cherish every moment we've spent together."
You're eyes go wide, heart constricting in chest. You feel your inners catapulting. You thought you know him all too well to give up upon the possibility of being together but witnessing him stripping bare in front of you is something you've always wanted but never expected to happen.
Wonwoo gently holds your face, voice soft, gaze emitting tenderness when he says, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for projecting my fears and insecurities upon you. But I have realised that you're worth everything and above. For you, I would fight the world if you allow me to stay by your side."
Rendered speechless, your teary eyes look at him with such anguish that it makes Wonwoo want to beat himself for breaking your heart over and over again.
Moments pass by and you both fall into comfortable silence. You're now seated on his lap, head laying his chest as he gently strokes your hair.
"It won't be easy.", you speak, head still downed, as your hand takes in his, entwining the fingers, "But I'd go to hell and back for you if time comes."
You shift back to look at him, "And I promise to be your shield, if anyone tries to hurt you or Wonseok, they'd have to face me first. I won't let anyone hurt you.", your gaze softens, "All of your worries, fears and sentiments are valid, Wonwoo. But it would be nice if you share them with me from now on because you're not alone, we're in this together. I love you."
Wonwoo swears he doesn't cry easily but your words seem to have opened the floodgates as his loud sobs echo throughout the house.
"Thank you.", he smiles as you wipe his tears and leans in to kiss you.
As your lips graze, the shrill ringing your phone startles you both. You grab it from the couch and the screen flashes Kim Minjun as the caller.
There's a sharp change in Wonwoo's expression as he takes the phone from your hand, putting it on speaker and answering it.
"Uh sorry, who's this speaking? Could you please get Y/N on the phone?"
There's a terse movement in the muscles of his jaw as Wonwoo responds, "I'm Jeon Wonwoo, Y/N's--", his gaze shifts at you, lips stretching in a smile, "Lover. I'm cancelling the date and please don't ever contact her again."
As soon as he hangs up, you tease him, "Lover huh? Since when?"
Wonwoo grins like he's drunk in love, he might as well be, "Since the day, you got drunk and danced on the tabletop after the semesters ended."
You gasp, "What do you want in exchange for deleting this memory?"
He's so lovesick, giggling cutely and being all touchy, "What about making new ones and keeping this one in my vault, sealed?"
Your heart flutters at the insinuation. True to your words, you'd surely fight the world to keep him with you.
And your lover chants all's well that ends well to ending up with you, gratefully with all his heart.
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β†’ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
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strawberry-cowmilk Β· 2 months ago
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silly things I think the brothers have done
not proof read, also I did all of the things on these lists so it's kinda like the brothers as things I have done hehe ( I couldn't come up with some stuff for some of them so forgive me for some brothers having shorter or more boring lists)
alternative title: the brothers as real things I have done (I swear I'm not that insane)
-----
lucifer
use whatever the devildom version of red bull is as an 'emergency tool' to quickly stop being tired only when he really needs to (don't do this)
accidentally sent a formal important email to somebody completely unrelated because it was 3am and he wasn't sharp (poor person had no idea what he was talking about) (this still haunts me)
one time when he was at a farm a peacock kept following him and kept opening its feathers to him no matter how many times he walked away
mammon
always buys something one of his brothers or mc will like in a store when he sees it for them
bought expensive perfume and quit his job two seconds afterwards
made the mistake of online shopping while being drunk and then cried over a mini bag and bought it because it would be cute for his future child
accidentally almost burnt down a school chemistry lab because he put a plastic tube over the fire (the teacher warned him not to do that) (everything was fine the tube was just a little on fire it only had like salt water in it)
leviathan
met his favorite artist and accidentally dropped his bags right before the picture in front of said artist (the artist tried to help him but he said nono its okay while fixing the mess) (he dropped the bag 1 second after asking if it was okay to put it down) (this still haunts me I'm so sorry to the artist for having to see me fight a bag)
messed up karaoke one time when he was home alone and destroyed his voice for the next week
attended a vocaloid concert
satan
accidentally made somebody believe he has a child because he calls a cat his baby or his son and forgot to specify he's talking about a cat
saw a cat meow and paw at somebody he didn't know's front door and he felt bad for it so he rang the doorbell and asked the guy who lives there 'is this your cat?' but the cat already went inside (luckily it was his cat or else that would have been super awkward)
cut his own hair once out of protest because somebody kept forcing him to cut it (they never forced him to do anything with his hair again so it worked) (I was like 11 years old when I did this)
asmodeus
wore platform heels while hiking because he refused to wear hiking shoes (those were the only shoes he brought to the vacation too) (there was no room to bring more because he already overpacked)
when somebody was being rude for no reason over his fashion choices he accidentally said 'not my problem you're allergic to slaying' out loud (I said this to my mom I almost died)
packed a full suitcase and a big tote bag for a one night hotel stay (the suitcase had an extra bag in it too)
sent his profs emails telling them he's sick so he can go to his beauty salons (this happened more than once)
beelzebub
traveled to a different city to buy a lot of a specific type of food and then came back
sometimes has to function as an alarm clock for one of his brothers (belphie) because its impossible to wake him up
stays home with his brothers when they're sick so they don't have to be alone
tried to make an oven pizza in the microwave with his brothers because the oven was not working (don't try this) (it turned out literally wet by the way)
belphegor
planned a way to skip certain class times every day without getting in trouble to sleep more
woke up from a nap extremely disoriented and asked someone what his name is
I'm so sorry I tried to come up with more things for him but I can't its been a week of thinking
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joelsgoldrush Β· 1 year ago
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come back same time and place the next night
prologue / 3k words
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pairing: dad's coworker!joel miller x f!reader
raiting: 18+ (minors dni)
series summary: your chances of hooking up with your dad’s soon-to-be coworker are low, but never zero. turns out the two of you have a lot more in common than you thought, especially when you find out he’s going to be staying at your house for a while.Β you know what they say: if you can’t beat them, fuck them.
series warnings: no outbreak AU, dad's coworker!joel (idk if that's a thing but yeah), lots of feelings (angst/fluff), age gap (reader is 23, joel is 50), no use of y/n, i'm not good at choosing names for side characters sorry for that, some chapters will include smut 18+ and i'll let you know at the beggining of each part
warnings for this chapter: soft!dom joel, oral (m receiving), dirty talk
A/N: HELLO AGAIN i'm back with a new series!!! first of all, i just wanted to say THANK YOU bc of all the love you gave my previous post. i'm so thankful for all the likes, reblogs and comments, you truly made me feel incredibly happy. tbh i used to have a hard time figuring out whether i should start posting my own creations or not, and the support you showed me made me realize that it was definitely the right call. so yeah tysm for that and i hope you also enjoy this new project of mine :) i juIt have one final left and then i'll have a couple of weeks to relax and work on this series! also english isn’t my first language so if you come across any mistake please tell me!
here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)
β€œSneaking out of my house / I must be out of my mind / I’m running out of excuses / We’re running out of time / You say the love will come and go / We’ll learn how to ride the ebb and flow / You’ll always leave before the light / Come back same time and place the next night.”
You take another sip of your drink, alcohol making its way through your throat. It leaves a trail of burning kisses down the inside of your esophagus, and you make an effort not to swear as the sensation settles heavily on your chest.
Stacy looks around the bar for a while, her knee impacting rhythmically against yours ever so slightly. Next thing you know, she’s snorting, her blonde hair falling like cascades over her collarbones. β€œI'm afraid you, my dearest friend, have lost your good judgement. There isn’t a single hot guy in this bar.”
β€œThat’s not true,” your fingers pinch the pink straw floating on your glass, a lipstick stain adorning it. You’re not exactly sure, though. The truth is you aren’t looking for somebody tonight, at least not right now. β€œGive me a second.”
Scanning your surroundings, you try to concentrate on your quest: finding a new hobby for Stacy. And by hobby, you mean a man she can simp over for the rest of the night. Once you’ve examined the room multiple times without success, you feel… slightly disappointed.Β 
Just when you’re about to agree with her, this pretty waiter comes on the scene, placing a martini under your friend’s nose. β€œHere it is. Hope you enjoy it.” 
Oh.
Stacy giggles at him. It’s that specific kind of giggle you know very well. β€œThank you, but I didn’t order this.”
β€œDon’t worry. This one’s on me,” the hot-waiter answers, giving her a smile that’s all white teeth before disappearing between the mess of sweaty bodies on the dancing floor.Β 
You look at her, because you already know what she will do next. She wiggles her eyebrows in your direction and takes hold of her purse, not without previously drinking almost half of the cocktail she got for free.Β 
Her forehead furrows in a funny way. β€œIt’s not very good. He’s lucky he’s cute.”
β€œDon’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” you tell her, ignoring her words. β€œI’m being serious.”
She leaves and you’re left alone, though you don’t mind the lack of company. The beating of your heart seems to sync with the pounding music from the pub. There’s this one girl doing karaoke, but nobody seems to be actually listening to her. You wonder if she’s aware of it, although she appears not to, because her tone gets even more high-pitched every time she gets to the chorus of the song.
After some minutes, you decide to give Stacy’s drink a try. She wasn’t wrong: the taste of it is absolutely awful. Some muscle in your jaw twitches as you cough a little.
β€œIs it that bad?” 
You turn to your side, looking for the owner of that unknown voice that startled you. A man stands beside you, pointing out the martini. Leaning in closer to him, you hand him the drink. β€œWhy don’t you try it yourself?”
His cold fingers brush yours gently when he takes the glass into his hands. The straw vanishes between his lips momentarily, and then he proceeds to chuckle. β€œYou’re right. It’s… definitely somethin’ else.”
This must be your lucky night. When was the last time a guy this good-looking approached you? He jerks his thumb toward the empty chair in front of you. β€œAre you waitin’ for someone?”
You can't help but smile. β€œNot anymore.” 
The attractive, charming stranger sits down, and you seize the opportunity to take a closer look at his face. You’re not sure of his age, but he’s older than you. He seems to be in his early 40s, the hair on his beard starting to get a bit gray. It’s subtle. If you weren’t such a perfectionist, perhaps you wouldn’t have seen it. But you did, and if possible, it just makes him come across as even more appealing to you.
β€œIf you don’t mind me askin’, why did you order that drink?”
β€œWell, I didn’t. It was a gift for my friend,” you rest your chin on your palm, giving a half shrug. β€œShe’s with the guy that gave it to her. The blonde girl over there, with the white tank top? That’s her.”
His eyes follow your gaze, finding Stacy just a couple of meters away from where the two of you were talking. She raises one of her hands in greeting, the boy from before attached to her hip like a lost puppy in the middle of the road.
β€œShe seems nice,” he murmurs once he focuses his attention on you again.Β 
β€œYeah, she is,” as you finish that sentence, you feel your phone vibrating in the pocket of your jacket. β€œExcuse me.”
It’s a text from Stacy. Said message reads:Β 
whose dad is that??? he’s hot af
You laugh at her occurrence, and he tugs at his shirt collar. β€œWhat happened?”
β€œShe texted me: whose dad is that?” staring at him, you lift an eyebrow. β€œDo you have any children I should know of?”
The stranger seems to hesitate before replying. β€œNo, I don’t,” you watch him lick his lips. β€œWhy? You’re not into dads?”
He's cocky. Good thing you like cocky.
Time flies. You learn some things about him: he’s from Texas (the southern accent gives him away) and works as a contractor (just like your dad, you think, which is funny.) When he reveals how old he is, he seems to look for any sign of discomfort on your features. β€œI’m forty-five.”
β€œTwenty-three,” you retort with your own age. He glances up to the ceiling, and you give a bitter laugh. β€œIs it a problem for you?’”
β€œShouldn’t I be the one askin’ that to you?”
You flutter your eyelashes at him. β€œI don’t mind.” If anything, you like him more. However, there’s one mystery left to bring to light. β€œWhat I do mind is that we’ve been here for almost an hour and you still haven’t told me your name.”
He leans back in his chair. β€œLet's play a game.”
β€œBe careful. I’m really competitive.”
β€œYou have three chances to guess my name. I’ll just give you my initial. You gotta do the rest, deal?”
What were the odds of guessing it? I should take the risk, you think as you find yourself already nodding your head. β€œDeal.”
β€œIt starts with the letter J.”
β€œJack,” it’s the first name that comes to your mind. For an instant, you believe you’ve won, but then you catch him smirking. β€œIt’s not Jack, isnΒ΄t it?"
The corner of his mouth turns up. β€œKeep tryin’.”
β€œJosh?”
β€œIce cold.”
β€œJoe?”
Something you're unable to even distinguish glows in his eyes. β€œI’m givin’ you one more chance.”
β€œSo I’m close?” you ask him, probably too enthusiastic. He doesn’t say anything else, so you go on. β€œIs it Joel?”
He places a hand on top of his shirt where his heart is, pretending to act relieved. β€œFuckin’ finally.”
You punch your fists into the air. β€œYes! I knew I was gonna get it.” A sincere smile takes place on your face. β€œWhat’s my prize?”
β€œWell,” he inches forward, his pinky nudging your wrist, that mere touch giving you goosebumps. β€œYou could give me your number and go on a proper date with me.”
God knows you want it. Rising from your seat, you tuck a lock of brown hair behind his ear. β€œI was thinking of something else.”
That’s how you end up in the ladies restroom, your back flushed against the wooden door as Joel presses his clothed knee between your legs. You moan into his mouth without thinking if there are any other people outside waiting to use the bathroom. Joel draws in a long breath, grinning as he takes in the sight of you. β€œYou wanna put on a show for the others? I'm not one to judge."
β€œI want to suck you off,” your hand is dangerously close to his crotch, your nails ghosting over his zipper. He seems to be having an internal fight with the last brain cell he has left, but then he detaches himself from you, unzipping his jeans. The sound of his belt hitting the floor with a thud is what finally leads you to fall to your knees.
He’s big. You can tell his size from your position, a wet patch forming into the fabric of his boxers. Playing with the waistband of his boxers for a mere second, your self-control attempts to falter. You grab him by the base, stroking it experimentally. Joel fights back a groan, urging you to take him. β€œCome on, sweetheart. I don’t like t’beg.”
But you do, that’s the thing. β€œPlease,” you whisper, hoping he’ll hear you. His eyes find yours and suddenly it clicks. A lightbulb goes on in his head. He curses under his breath, directing his dick towards your open parted lips, and your eyelids get heavy as the taste of his precum invades your tastebuds.
It’s not your fault he has an amazing dick.
You begin to bob your head, taking more and more of his length with every one of your short movements. Slick must be already staining your own panties, but you can’t get yourself to care about that insignificant detail. Not now, when Joel’s hips thrust deeper into your mouth, his tip brushing the back of your throat and making you gag. It's dirty, and you should probably be ashamed of getting caught by a bystander. All your worries are swept away from your mind the moment he decides not to keep quiet. β€œFuck, baby. Knew you would put that gorgeous mouth to good use. Attagirl, takin’ me so well.”
A stupid whine gets lost somewhere in your vocal tract. Intertwining your fingers with his, you locate his wandering hands on your hair, wishing he'll take the hint. He does, and grabs a handful of it, pulling you off his cock.Β 
β€œYou really like this, don’t ya’?” Joel smears your lower lip with your spit. β€œWere you thinkin’ about this while we were talkin’ back there?”
β€œY-yes,” you try to take him in your mouth again, but he doesn’t allow you to, his iron grip on your nape getting tighter the more you fight against it.
Then he lets you have it. β€œBet you get off on this too,” his voice drops an octave, and it sounds so nasty and intimate you’re on the verge of crying. With teary eyes, you swallow around his length.Β 
You lose track of time. His bare thighs tremble and the only noise you can hear is his heavy breathing. β€œFβ€”fuck. I’m close, where do you want it?” Mumbling something you can’t even comprehend with his cock still in your mouth, his thrusts begin to lose finesse, thick fingers holding you where he needs you the most. β€œSo good, baby. Lettin’ me have you like this. Fuckinβ€™β€”β€œ
He’s about to come.
β€œβ€”good girl.”
It all happens so fast you have to remind yourself to gulp down his cum, hot and sticky and just Joel’s. You patiently wait for him to come down from his high, nuzzling his happy trail. He helps you stand up, kissing you and tasting himself on your tongue. As soon as he tries to sneak a hand into your panties, getting closer to your aching cunt, you recognize your phone ringing in the distance.
Groaning, you stretch your arm, answering the call. β€œHello?”
β€œWell, hi. This is awkward.”
You frown. Joel mimics you. β€œI’m sorry, who’s this?”
β€œI’m calling you from Stacy’s phone. We were making out and then she told me she was feeling sick, so I took her outside… and now she’s throwing up,” the boy on the other side of the line explains to you and you detect a hint of agitation in his voice. β€œShe asked me to contact you.”
β€œOh, God. Hot-waiter?”
β€œYeah, she also said you were probably going to call me that,” he seems to move his phone away from his ear, and then talks to you again. β€œShe’s not passed out, but she shouldn’t stay here.”
Does he actually think you’re going to leave her alone? β€œCan you tell me where you are?” you suggest him while Joel tucks himself back into his boxers.
β€œNext to the parking lot.”
You hang up after telling him you’ll be there in five minutes, and you feel Joel’s lips on your neck, a sigh spilling from you. His teeth nip at your sensitive skin. β€œYou gotta go?”
Humming, you smooth down your skirt, facing the mirror and observing your reflection, some leftover mascara sticking your eyelashes together. He appears right behind you, his broad frame becoming more visible this way. β€œStacy’s throwing up. I have to take her home.”
β€œDo you have a car?” 
β€œNo, but I’ll call an uber. It’s no big deal.”
Joel puts his hands on his hips. β€œI brought my truck. Let me help you.”
Of course he has a truck.Β 
β€œJoel, you don’t have to,” you massage the back of your neck, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.Β 
β€œIt’s the least I can do,” tilting his head, his lips catch yours once again. β€œConsider it my way of thankin’ you, since I cannot return the favor.”
It shouldn’t feel like this. You weren’t used to doing this kind of thing on a regular basis, but you’re more than sure that men don’t treat you this way after sucking them off. Still, you accept his offer since it means you’ll get to spend more time with him.
He walks you out and helps you get Stacy on her feet. As she sees Joel, she spreads her arms wide, hugging him. β€œOh my God! It’s the hot dad!”
β€œSweetie, you have likeβ€” puke all over your clothes,” you tell her, so Stacy chooses to hug you instead. β€œShe gets pretty sensitive when she’s drunk.”
β€œI can tell,” Joel opens the back door of his truck, jerking his head in the direction of it. β€œGet her inside while I start the car.”
It all goes pretty well from then on. He asks you for Stacy’s address and you give it to him, the palm of his hand resting on top of your left thigh. Stacy gets comfortable in the back seat, yawning. β€œYou two look like my parents before they got divorced.”
β€œThat’s a really nice compliment,” you mutter with irony as Joel laughs by your side, rubbing his chin.
Soon after that, she falls asleep. Joel parks his car right in front of Stacy’s porsche. He glances over his shoulder, making sure she’s still sleeping before his seatbelt’s off and he’s grabbing you by the jaw, leaning in for a kiss. The fucker’s a very good kisser, you notice throughout the night.
β€œAre you gonna give me your number?” he murmurs against your mouth, his hot breath mixing with yours.Β 
β€œIt depends. Will you call me?”
He tells you he will, and you prefer to trust him as you watch him save your number, a smiley face next to your name.
β˜… β˜… β˜… β˜… β˜…
Joel doesn’t call you.
You don’t want to admit it, but it’s starting to get to you. He did sound honest. Why the hell did he treat you like that if he wasn’t planning on calling you? Why did he insist so much on getting your number?
Men suck. Joel sucks, you decide after a whole afternoon of staring at your phone, waiting to receive a text from him. Given the situation, anything would make you feel better.
Hey! It’s Joel, from the bar. I’m so sorry for not calling you. I forgot to tell you I’m married and have three children, two cute little puppies and a cat. Anyways, what a great night we had! Take care!
Okay. Perhaps not anything.
You’re home, sitting on the couch while you watch a meaningless TV programme. It consists of answering random questions, and if you get them wrong, you fall down some dark tunnel that only God knows where it takes you.
Normally, during a night like this, you’d be studying or perhaps at Stacy’s. But tonight, your father had asked you to actually stay. He didn’t tell you why he specifically needed you there, and you didn’t bother to ask him.
Out of the blue, you hear the doorbell ring. None of your parents seem to be on the first floor, so you walk to the door, opening it.Β 
You choke on your own saliva.
Joel’s here. Joel, who didn’t call you. Joel, who looks absolutely good with his hair slicked back.Β 
β€œDid I ever tell you where I lived?” the tone of your voice falters, your legs suddenly feeling wobbly.
He can’t believe it either. β€œNo. I must have the wrong address,” keeping his eyes fixated on the box of chocolates dangling from his hand, he straightens his back. β€œWhat are you doin’ here?”
β€œI should be asking you that,” you hiss, your pupils flared with anger. β€œWhy the fuck are you at my house, with a freaking box of chocolates, when you couldn’t bring yourself to call me?”
Then, you hear the sound of footsteps coming from the kitchen. It’s your dad. He contemplates the scene with a smile. β€œI see you’ve met my daughter. Trust me, my wife and I taught her better manners than this. Don’t know why she didn’t invite you in. Food’s almost ready!”
You’re about to short-circuit. Definitely not a joke.
β€œSweetheart, this is Joel Miller. Remember I told you last week that someone from the company was coming over for a while? Well, this is him,” your father chuckles, expecting you to come up any kind of answer.
Joel’s faster than you, intending to shake your hand, those same calloused fingers that he had used to touch you in that dirty bathroom now playing dumb. β€œNice to meet you.”
If he wants to pretend you don’t know each other, then so be it.
You squeeze his hand without measuring your strength. β€œOh, the pleasure’s all mine, sir.”
Turns out that your chances of hooking up with your dad’s soon-to-be coworker were low, but never zero.Β 
β˜… β˜… β˜… β˜… β˜…
tags: @spurz :)
832 notes Β· View notes
twisted-king Β· 7 months ago
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Hello! Since you also write genshin, I've thought about reader or F!S/O being from Teyvat. But that isnt really the main point. How 'bout their F!S/O is from Sumeru and is strictly bestfriends with Cyno and Alhaitham. How would Trey, Azul, Jade, Floyd, and Jamil feel about their F!S/O having boy bestfriends back at her world? Maybe if they're jealous, reader tries to comfort them by saying that Alhaitham is engaged(to Kaveh)XD Lol
You dont have to do this if its to muchβ™‘
Oddly specific but I like the cut of your jib!
Also can be read as genter neutral, I don't reall mention gender on this one?
Trey, Azul, Jade, Floyd, and Jamil X F!SO from Teyvat
who is also besties with Cyno and Alhaitham
Trey Clover
Well youre from a whole different world! Magic seems to exist in some capacity at least.
He doesn't know what a Zatyun peach or a Sunsettia is.
But he tries v hard to make you things that remind you of home sometimes!
He actually does a pretty good job at it too!
And thats where the issue arives.
Whenever he asks about your homeland he knows he is going to hear about your best friends
He's trying SO hard to be normal about this
Trey loves you so much but, he gets a little jealous!
You've done so much with these two!!!
"And Cyno's jokes are the absolute WORST! I swear some of the things he says are worse than Ace's!" "Oh that's... nice!"
but they're your best friends! He really shouldn't be jealous.
"I still don't understand why Alhaitham is so jacked, like all he does is read books all day!"
He really shouldn't be jealous
"And I'm kind of glad its never too hot around here! Like I know he works primarily in the desert but like put a shirt on sometimes! You know?"
But damm its hard.
He tries to be subtle (not really)
"So have you ever like... done anything with one of these guys?" "What do you mean?" "Like have you dated one of them..?"
oh.... OH!
You laugh at that, he's embrassed "Oh gosh NEVER! They both have boyfriends anyhow! Alhaitham is engaged!" "Oh."
You nod and give him a little kith
Wow he's relieved!
Azul Ashengrotto
He loves learning about you and your home world! Truly!!!
Azul thinks your mind is briliant, you're so smart and quick on your feet due to years of travel!
With travel comes a lot of experiences
a lot.
without him.
He's playing it cool though! suuuper cool
"Oh I remember Alhaitham would never answer anything that wasnt formatted or completed properly! maybe you could do the same? it would certainly free up some time, no?" "Of course it woudl free up some time, dear... But" "buut?" "Well it wouldn't be fitting of my benevolent nature now would it, my love?"
Azul keeps trying to prove he's a better boyfriend than your old friends
He needs you to know he's the best option for you <3
"And could this 'Cyno' make you a delightful seafood pasta like this?" "No, not really, he was more into rice." "I see..."
Oh hey he made you curry and rice
You know, by the way. He is NOT sneaky
After another bout of showing off, you finally say something.
"They have boyfriends, you know?" "huh?" "Cyno and Alhaitham? they have partners. You don't have to be jealous." "Why would I be jealous, dearest?"
DENIER
Denies his jealous to this day but he gets happier after you reassure him.
Jade Leech
Yeah he's super cool about this!
for the most part...
He's extremely interested in learning about the flora in your world!
and he thinks those vishap creatures you compare him to sound rather interesting.
Jade being rather curious in nature comes in handy! since he doesnt seem to get jealous.
His questions are... odd, though. they kind of make sense?
"Cyno once took out like-- 10 guys in like a MINUTE! it was so cool! "Is he that fast in the depths of the sea?" "No-" "I see..."
Sometimes he's a little less slick though
"OH my gosh Alhaitham is so weird about soup! He hates the stuff because it could get on his books of all things!" "Does he consume beverages as he reads? tea perhaps?" "Yeah, sometimes." *Pleased eel noises*
He's just being careful :)
Jade often prefers to dicuss your best friends while in the kitchen. he likes spending this time with you!
And he has his knives and mushrooms at his disposal.
*chop chop chop* "And so Haitham and I used to skip out on akademiya meetings together-" *chopchopchop-* "But Cyno would ALWAYS 'catch' us just before the meeting would actually ends-" *ChopChopChopChop-* "So then he'd bring us to Kaveh, Alhaitham's fiance to-" "He has a fiance?" "yeah,why?" "no reason." *chop~ chop~ chop~*
He's still keeping the information from his... questioning in mind.
Can't be too careful, after all.
Floyd Leech
He loves his shrimpy's stories!!!
He hates his shrimpy's stories :((
Floyd is reaaal conflicted. He thinks you're so interesting! your world seems like fun!! he wants to go there with you.
But not with those men you keep talking about
"So sometimes there are these HUGE mushrooms that kind of act like a launchpad! they're super springy." "Eh? Jade might like soemthing like that... OOOH! do ya think if I throw someone (Ace) on one of those they'd still bounce?" "Yeah they would! one time while going after a criminal, Cyno had to-" "Eeeeh I'm bored. You coming to my next game?"
Subtlety? not THIS eel
He audibly groans when you bring them up sometimes.
But he still loves hearing you talk! so it really confusing sometimesz
"So genius invocation uses 8 elements, 7 from the nations, one is omni. Usually the cards are based off of vision users like Diluc of mondstadt, Arataki Itto, from Inazuma... OH! there is one of my best friend, Alhaitham, he's dendro and Cyno's is electro, its actually" Oh he's no longer looking at you.
You get an idea... "There is one of Haitham's fiance, Kaveh" "Oh really?"
GOT HIS ASS
You're his girlfriend, you know him best.
He's a little less weird about listening to your stories now, he's way more enaged.
He still tugs you closer to him when you mention other men, but thats kind of normal for him now.
Jamil Viper
A confident king? He's not really jealous. He knows he can be better than them.
Plus they're just friends to you.
But in all honestly he like... doesn't care too much about Teyvat.
You're here now, with him. not them.
Don't get him wrong, Jamil likes hearing about what your world!
There's only oneee little thing he doesnt love hearing.
"Sometimes I miss the food from Teyvat... Cyno always made the best Tahchin." "The best you say?" "Yeah! he shaped it like a pyramid every time he made it!" "Have you ever tried mine?" "You make tahchin!?"
He's smug, you'll love his cooking more than that Cyno's.
He serves you a plate of tahchin, golden brown, perfectly seasoned, barberries topping the rounded rice dish "So, what do you think?" "This is so good! I kind of miss the padisarah petals though.."
The hell is THAT?
"Is it... not up to your expectations, my flower?" "No its delicious! I think I just miss the way my friend would make it.."
He's a little grumpy about it!!
Jamil gets kind of huffy with you next time you're together.
He's not ignoring you but just don't bring up food for a while.
Snake man will just respond with "Why don't you ask Cyno." when it comes to cooking for the next day or two...
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simp4wom3n Β· 2 years ago
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The Quiet One Pt.I
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Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader
Requested: Yes/No ~ request @perfectartisanwerewolf
Summary: Ghost face's dramatic return causes many to point the finger at 'the loner' of Woodsboro High, Y/n, a horror loving, lonesome girl who appears to have an obsession with ghost face's first victim, Tara. ~ Word Count: 5.272k ~ Warnings: descriptions of being stabbed and blood, a lot of swearing
A/N: Hi!! first Tara fic and omg I fkn LOVED writing this although it got looooooong which is why i'm making this is 2 (maybe 3) part series. Hopefully you guys enjoy the first part and want more because, maybe its just me, but writing about horror is incredibly enjoyable. I love you all and enjoy <3
Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5
"I dunno that y/n kid is weird. She seriously creeps me out." Amber spoke with a grimace, briefly glancing in your direction. Like every other day, you were sitting alone on your chosen bench, only a few metres away from the others, with nothing but the sound of your music playing softly through your headphones and the words of the book you had chosen to read accompanying you.
You used to try and be sociable, consistently putting yourself out there despite your introverted nature. You tried you really did. After many failed attempts and being met with nothing but resentment, you eventually just gave up, deciding that you were destined for solitude.
The only person who even acknowledged your existence these days was Tara Carpenter, the very girl you happened to have a massive crush on. Before you had shut yourself off from society, she was the one person who showed you any bit of kindness. You would often exchange small talk when walking between shared classes, or even on occasion try to sit with her at lunch, although that didn't last long - you learnt pretty quickly that her friends didn't enjoy your company.
Tara absolutely captivated you. It blew your mind that someone even looked at you without judgement, let alone have their eyes brighten at the sight of you. She was the one person who you felt safe around at school, the one person you knew wasn't just talking to you for a dare or some stupid prank. Perhaps that's why you fell for her as quickly as you did.
Whenever her eyes met yours, butterflies would erupt in your stomach and your heartbeat would increase tenfold. Whilst your time with her was very limited, every conversation you had, every laugh you shared, your feelings for the girl only grew.
Along with your cowardice, there was always something stopping you from telling Tara how you felt. Her 'best friend' Amber. You would have to be legally blind to not see that Amber hated you with her whole heart - you were clueless as to why though. Whenever you and Tara had been talking for 'too long', she would always swoop in and pull her away, leaving you once again alone.
It was one particular occasion that had changed you.
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Pulling your headphones out of your bag on your way towards you bike, you were about to put them on before you heard a voice that instantly made your lips quirk into a smile. "Y/n hey wait up" Tara called after you, causing you to turn around and watch her run towards you. "Hi" you laughed as she finally reached you, slightly out of breath but with a warm smile nonetheless. "You seriously thought you could just go home for the holidays without saying goodbye?" she laughed in feign offence, causing you to chuckle awkwardly.
You hadn't necessarily been 'avoiding' her, you were just taking the easy route, knowing that if you kept talking to her, you were inevitably going to confess your feelings for her - something that you definitely wanted to avoid. She was the only friend you had. Sure, your heart longed for you two being more than friends, but to you, nothing was worth losing what you already had.
"Sorry..." you gave her a tight lipped smile as you fidgeted with your hands, all of a sudden feeling very awkward as your thoughts started getting the better of you. "No need to apologise" she smiled, "I just wanted to see you before you went home so... yeah... I'll see you next year I guess". She went to turn around and head back to her friends, but without realising it, before she could walk away, you had swiftly grabbed ahold of her arm.
Her questioning eyes met yours as she turned back towards you, your words caught in your throat as you try to comprehend what the fuck you were doing. "Sorry I... I just need to tell you something." 'Y/n stop it what the fuck are you doing', Your heart and your brain were at war with each other as you stared at Tara, who was patiently waiting for you to find your words.
"Ok... ok I'm just going to say it... Tara, I really, really li-" "Hey Tara! what the hell are you doing talking to this weirdo" Your face dropped as you caught a glimpse of who had interrupted you. Unsurprisingly, you watched as Amber walked past you and wrapped her arm around Tara shoulders.
You stood frozen. Your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you felt tears begin to well in your eyes. 'This cannot be fucking happening' is what was replaying in your mind as you turned away from the two girls, trying your best to hold back your cries. Tara remained silent, half annoyed at Amber for interrupting your conversation, but also confused as to what you were going to tell her.
She watched as you swiftly grabbed your things and unlocked your bike, obviously trying to get away from the situation as fast as you physically could. "Y/n wait-" she finally spoke before you cut her off, "See you next year Tara" she could hear a slight break in your voice as you hopped on your bike and quickly rode off.
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You hadn't been the same since.
Ever since you returned for the new year, you had been avoiding Tara like the plague, knowing full well that if you talked to her she would ask you what you were going to say.
Your interactions diminished into short-lived glances. You were often so caught up in your own world that you wouldn't even notice Tara's presence anymore, despite her many attempts to interact with you. She was now left with only being able to watch you as you walk through the halls, and risk a quick glance to the back of the classroom where you now sat alone.
"Don't be mean, Tara seems to like her so she can't be that bad." Wes defends you, evidently having some sympathy. Amber looks back at him with eyebrows raised. "Yeah, and look where that got her." "Amber!" "Dude what the hell!". A myriad of complaints came from the group's mouthes at the comment. It had been less than a day since Tara had been attacked by the new ghost face, sending waves of fear throughout the small town and sparking the so-called blame game to erupt.
When the news of her attack broke, you felt numb. You blended further into the background as you did your best to ignore the news. You wanted to visit her, make sure she was ok, talk to her, but you knew that even if her friends weren't protecting her like hawks, you would never build up the courage to go.
"What?! Have you not seen the creepy stares she gives her? And from what I've heard, she's obsessed with horror movies... most likely including Stab" She wasn't wrong, you did love horror movies, it was even one of the things that bonded you and Tara together, but you were more into the classics, choosing to stay away from new franchises such as stab - not that they knew that because, well, why would they.
"She has a point" Chad answers after a moment of contemplation, earning him a slap on the arm from his girlfriend. "What?! I'm just saying it would make sense" he pauses as he looks around the group, everyone giving him either a neutral expression or nodding along. "She doesn't talk to anyone, instead she just watches them, she is nowhere to be found when anything happens, and I can guarantee you she doesn't have an alibi for when Tara was attacked... It make's total sense"
"Look, I just don't think we should point fingers just yet. Everyone is a suspect so we can't trust anyone" Wes argues, earning another glare from Amber who rolls her eyes and grunts, "Sure, but don't expect me to help you when she's slitting your throat", before walking off.
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You lived alone, residing in a sad little trailer in a small trailer park on the outskirts of Woodsboro. Months ago, your parents had packed up all of their things and left to an undisclosed location, for an undisclosed amount of time, leaving you alone and without any income, struggling to stay afloat in an ocean of bills and debt. Despite this, you rather enjoyed your life alone and away from the busy-ish streets of the small town - not to mention that the eerie location added to your horror movie viewing experience.
The only thing that connected your little 'community' of four people to the centre of town, was your neighbour, Dewey. The oh-so famous ex-sheriff Dewey. As much as you admittedly hated the fact that people knew this place existed because of him, you truly did love the guy. He was like a father to you. To the best of his ability, he tried to fill in the massive void left in your life after your parent's disappearance.
He was basically the only person you actually talked to anymore.
Everyday after school, when you would ride your rusted bike down the secluded and winding streets that surrounded your home, your first stop was always his trailer. Most days he would be waiting expectedly on his doorstep, greeting you with a smile as you ranted to him about your day.
He even knew about Tara.
He was the only person holding you afloat, and for that, you would do absolutely anything for the man.
That being said, your bike screeched to a halt as you pulled into the trailer park, instantly noticing an unfamiliar car parked outside of his home. 'Odd' you thought to yourself as you hopped off your bike, letting it fall to the ground before taking small and almost hesitant steps towards his door.
As you reached Dewey's truck, you heard the door open as two strangers practically fell out of it. You immediately ducked behind the truck as the door slammed shut behind them, attempting to peer around the side of the vehicle to catch a glimpse of who they were.
"Jesus" the man starts, "Yeah, he's way more fun in the movies". Your brows furrowed at the statement. 'What the fuck is happening' was your immediate thought as you saw them head to their car. "Ok... So what's next?" "The friends". You stayed hidden as they hopped in their car and drove away, still incredibly confused about the whole situation.
No one ever came out here.
Waiting until the car disappeared down the road, you reappeared from behind the truck and began walking towards his door. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open and you were met with an obviously somewhat distressed Dewey. He looks at you, surprised before he sighs and moves past you, heading for his truck.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on or are you just gonna leave?" you call out to him, noticing the gun holstered on his hip as his steps didn't even falter as he walked hurriedly to the driver-side door. "Hello?!". Again no response. Deciding to run after him, you quickly jump off of his small porch and bolt towards his truck, managing to grab ahold of his door handle before he could reach it.
"Really? so we are ignoring each other now" He looks far from amused as he looks at you, a hint of fear in his eyes, causing your gaze to soften. "What going on?". He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not to tell you. "It's about Tara." He starts, looking at you cautiously. "Her sister and her boyfriend came and asked for my help... with ghost face" "Ok... and your helping them? I thought you said you never wanted to go through that again" "Yeah well I don't, but I don't really have much of a choice" he finishes, pulling your hand off of the handle and opening the door.
You could see the mix of concern and fear in his eyes, whether it was for himself or for someone else you didn't know, but what you did know, was that if he was in danger, so were you - after all you basically depended on him.
"Well in that case... I'm coming with you" You stated firmly as you rounded the truck and quickly hopped into the passenger seat. "What! No you are not, get out and go back inside." "Not happening" you mumble as you fasten your seatbelt, choosing to ignore his words as you wait for him to start the car. "Y/n I swear to g-" "I said no!" You yelled, causing Dewey's eyes to widen slightly.
There was a moment of silence in the car when neither of you dared to speak. You sighed in relief when you finally heard him start the engine, fastening his own seatbelt. Just before he started backing out, he glanced at you, signalling that this was your last chance to get out.
You didn't budge.
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As Dewey's truck groaned to a stop, you watched as Tara's sister and her boyfriend got out of their car and headed towards the door of a suburban home. You both stepped out of the truck before slamming the doors behind you, the noise of which caused their two heads to turn.
The sister looked at Dewey in a mix of confusion and relief as he spoke, "I have decided to temporarily assist you in your investigation". "Thank you" she replied, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face. Her eyes briefly shifted to you, stood behind Dewey as if he were a barricade, your face blank as you chewed on your lip in slight panic. She didn't question you though, she was just thankful that Dewey had offered to help, and if you were with him, she was all the more thankful.
As the four of you walked towards the door, you heard the boyfriend ask who you were, her reply being "I don't know". You understood their hesitation, I mean you were some random kid they had never met before who decided to tag along for a murder investigation so it wasn't necessarily 'normal'.
After the sister rang the door bell, you froze slightly as you watched Mindy answer the door. You suppose it was obvious that when Tara's sister said 'the friends' you should have caught on, but here you are looking like you had seen a ghost.
Sure, Mindy was always one of the nicer ones, or at least she had never openly threatened you or looked at you like you had committed some heinous crime, but that didn't make you any less terrified as to what was awaiting you inside the house you now knew belonged to the twins.
Hesitantly following the others, your head began to pound with the sound of your own heartbeat. As you entered the living room, you begged whatever was out there to let you disappear, turn into useless particles and drift away, because sat in front of you, was Tara's whole friend group.
The tension in the room sky-rocketed as all eyes landed on you. You felt like you were about to implode. Thankfully their resentful glares only lasted seconds before Tara's sister pulled their attention away from you, talking bout why she had brought everyone together.
Following Dewey, you reluctantly walked further into the room, slowly taking a seat next to him on the couch. With your hearing almost completely overcome by the sound of your own pounding heart, the words of Tara's sister, who you now know is called Sam, went in one ear and out the other.
You only blink back into reality when you hear Wes mention Dewey, "What about Deputy Dewey here? maybe he's the killer... no offence" "None taken, but what's my motive?" "You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list."
You don't think you had ever looked at someone so intensely, your eyes burning holes into his skull as he accused the only person you could ever trust. "That's bullshit" you couldn't help but call him out - sure his explanation made sense but it still pissed you off.
"Well what about you then". Your head whipped towards Amber's smug words, shock painting your features at her accusation. Your mouth hung open as she continued with a smirk. "I mean come on!" she laughs, "Your a horror fan right? So you love horror AND your a lonely freak who creepily stares at people for a hobby... Classic ghost face I'm telling you."
Speechless. You are absolutely speechless. Everyone's expected looks burn you as you attempt to find some kind of rebuttal, to say something. Anything. "I-I don't" "Where were you when Tara was attacked?" Amber interrupted.
You sucked in a harsh breath knowing you were home alone at the time, no one to back you up - not that anyone would've. "At home" you mumbled, Amber scoffing at you. "Alone I presume". You bit your tongue to stop yourself from cursing her out, eventually nodding hesitantly as your eyes began to burn with unshed tears.
"That's what I thought"
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After the whole 'interrogation' process had left you on the verge of a breakdown, you had grown evermore attached to Dewey, following him around like a lost puppy. So, naturally, when the news of Wes' murder broke, you were right beside him as he approached the fresh crime scene.
It was safe to say that he was concerned about your insistence of sticking with him, that added pressure of keeping you safe weighing on him as he inevitably brought you into something that you should never have had to worry about.
You felt cowardly as you became Dewey's extra limb, following him around as if he was the only thing that could protect you - and the sad truth was that he was. You were his own personal fly on the wall, rather unfortunately overhearing his conversation that he had with Gale.
Your face was blank as you had remained zoned out ever since you had heard the details of Wes and his mother's murders, even the thought made you sick to your stomach. You didn't know much about ghost face and their history, but one thing was for sure.
This one was a fucking psycho.
You were broken from your gruesome thoughts when you heard rushed footsteps approach from behind you. Your eyes were quick to notice Sam's figure approaching, coming to a halt in front of Dewey and the deputy he was talking to, a panicked look covering her face.
"Who's at the hospital?"
Your heart sinks. Everyone’s eyes stare at the deputy, awaiting an answer that never came.
"Who's watching my sister?!"
Images of Tara being attacked whilst helpless and unprotected in her hospital bed flash through your mind, sending a paralysing shiver down your spine.
"I-I just heard about the sheriff" You hear Sam scoff in a mixture of disbelief and fear, turning around and running to her car. You muttered β€˜Fuck’ before you quickly followed suit. For once Dewey was on your tail as you make a desperate dash towards Sam’s car, needing nothing more than to get there already.
You swing the car door open as you scramble into the back seat. Sam, still unsure as to who you are, gives you a puzzled glance before Dewey enters the passenger seat next to her. She just stares at him for a second, almost as if she’s in a daze, until Dewey snaps her out of it.
"What are you waiting for? Drive! Come on let's go!"
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The drive to the hospital dragged on for what felt like hours. You had pushed Sam's call with ghost face back to a more-or-less distant thought, only tuning in when they mentioned Tara - the only thing you cared about.
The whole drive, you had been anxiously waiting on the edge of your seat, so as you finally parked outside the hospital, you rushed out the car door and ran towards the elevator.
Watching the floor levels tick by, the sound of Tara's whimpers echoing through the call filling your ears, you swallowed down your tears as you inhaled shakily, attempting to compose yourself for what you knew you were about to face.
As you approached Tara's floor, Dewey pulled his gun out of his holster and glanced back at you. "You ok kid?" he asked softly, his brows slightly creased as he noticed your seemingly panicked appearance. "I'm fine... let's just save Tara and get the hell out of here". Despite still being on the phone, Sam offered you a small, warm smile, clearly realising how much you must care for her sister.
"Or maybe I'm stalling for time, fuckhead"
The elevator dings and you watch as the doors begin to open. Through the growing crack you notice ghost face looming over Tara's helpless figure, your jaw immediately clenching at the sight. You flinch slightly as Dewey is quick to fire a shot at the masked figure. His aim clearly having deteriorated since he retired, he missed multiple shots as the figure dashed into a room for cover.
As ghost face disappeared into the room, you were quick to follow Dewey out of the elevator, immediately heading towards Tara. Just the sight of her tormented figure made you want to cry. Falling to the ground next to her, you were quick to cradle her head as you scanned her body for any new injuries.
Despite her bandaged hand having turned a bright shade of red, relief washed through you when you couldn't see any new wounds. If you thought the sound of her whimpers through a phone call was bad, this was utter torture. You attempted to compose yourself - although you would be lying if you said you weren't freaking the fuck out. Sam was quick to help Tara off the floor and towards the elevator as you comforted her the best you could.
"Tara... your ok... your ok come on" you whisper hurriedly, glancing over your shoulder to see Dewey helping Richie off the floor. You return your focus on getting Tara to the elevator, not noticing her glossy eyes looking at you dazed. "Y-Y/n... w-what are y-you d-doing here?" she brokenly asks, your eyes finally meeting hers.
You are unable to respond before you hear a large crash from behind you. The three of you quickly turn around, your face dropping in horror as you witness ghost face jumping towards Dewey. "Dewey no!" you scream as you let go of Tara and run towards him, the protests of the sisters falling on deaf ears.
Dewey's gun fires off a stray bullet as your hands grip onto ghost face's costume, successfully pulling them to the ground. You collapse next to the masked individual, only now realising you were completely unarmed and didn't really have a plan past this point.
'Oh fuck'
Your eyes widened in fear as ghost face jumps on top of you attempting to stab you in the chest as you push against them with all your strength. Dewey attempts to pull them off of you as you struggle to hold the approaching knife from impaling your chest. Not appreciating his attempts at heroics, Ghost face quickly elbowed Dewey in the face, causing him to collapse onto his back and his gun to fly out of his grip.
"No no no no" you whimper as the mask looks back at you, its rich black eyes staring through your soul. You wrestle in their grip as they wind their knife back before thrusting it into your torso. You scream as you feel your abdomen burn, the knife piercing your skin and lodging itself deep within your gut. Your shirt quickly turned a bright shade of red as the blood began to flow from your new wound.
You cry out in pain as the knife is viciously ripped out, your vision beginning to blur with tears as your body erupts in pain. You hear Tara screaming your name as the knife pierces your skin for a second time, your body simultaneously burning and freezing as you feel yourself slowly sinking into the floor.
And they keep stabbing you. Again, and again, and again.
Stab wounds litter your body as you continue to scream, each one becoming quieter as you quickly lose energy, the sound of blood gargling in the back of your throat now accompanying your helpless screams.
You could almost sense their smile from behind the mask. The anger behind each of their strokes increasing as they went to town on you, blood now beginning to slowly seep from the corner of your mouth.
Your energy was seeping from your body as fast as the blood that continued to pour from your eight stab wounds. You curl in on yourself as ghost face is finally tackled off of you, coughing violently as blood splatters into the pool of your own blood that had seeped across the floor.
You were barely conscious when you heard numerous shots ring out through the hallway, instantly waking you from your looming coma. Turning your head as far as you could in your dazed state, you saw Dewey rushing over to you with what appears to be an unconscious ghost face behind him.
"Y/n" he breathes, scanning your weak and bloodied figure. Sucking in a hesitant breath, he carefully picks you up, his hands already covered in your warm blood. You grunt in pain as you feel your wounds stretch and pull. Your head falls onto his shoulder, your entire body aching as he limps towards the elevator, passing a concerned Sam and Tara. Tara watches as your blood leaves a trail behind Dewey, already seeping through both of your clothes.
Even when on deaths door, the sound of Tara's sobs cause you to look in her direction, worry filling your glassy eyes. To your surprise she is already looking at you with a similar expression. You try your best to put a smile on your bloodied face, but at this point any kind of movement sends shocks of pain down your crippled frame.
You clench your eyes shut in pain as you feel Dewey put you down on the cold elevator floor- why was he putting you down?
"The head" he says as he stands back up. Fading in and out of consciousness, you struggle to comprehend what he is saying, looking at him through your drooping eyes. "What?", "You have to shoot'em in the head, or they always come back.". You watch as he slowly steps backwards out of the elevator. Your mouth falls open as it finally starts sinking in.
This wasn't happening. This couldn't be fucking happening.
"Dewey! Who gives a fuck?!"
"I do"
"Dewey! No!" you let out a blood curdling scream, using all of your remaining energy to try and keep the door open, only for it to close in front of you. "No!" you screamed again, you voice shattering as you slam your fist continuously into the door. "No no Dewey come back! Come back please! I need you please!" you begged, knowing all eyes were on you but not caring how broken you looked.
"Please Dewey... please..." you cried, eventually collapsing of pure exhaustion, a metallic taste overtook your senses as your adrenaline finally ran out, the world around you turning black.
As the world falls in around you, you catch a glimpse of Tara's distraught expression watching you from behind Sam who attempts to keep you awake, inevitably failing.
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Bright lights sting your tired eyes as you slowly blink away your exhaustion. 'What the fuck' is your first thought, your mind blank as to how you ended up in... a hospital? You try to sit up in an attempt to look around, stopped when you feel a sharp pain shoot through your torso, causing you to grimace.
You exhale shakily as you collapse back onto the bed. Hesitantly, you reach your shaking hand down to pull up your hospital gown, revealing what can only be described as 'a shit ton' of bandages. "What the..."
"No...", it hits you like a truck. "No... no no no, this can't be happening". The steady sound of your heart monitor starts to beep rapidly. You begin to panic as you breath erratically, trying to disconnect all the useless wires that were connected to you in an attempt to escape this all to realistic nightmare.
Apparently hearing your struggle, Sam walks into the room with a worried look on her face. "Hey! y/n calm down... calm down it's ok... it's ok." She rushes over to the bed and takes your hands in hers. You were a stuttering mess, your eyes unable to focus on anything in particular as you tried to wrestle out of the bed, her firm grip stopping you from going anywhere.
Eventually her gentle touch grounded you, her hands stroking yours gently as she looked at you sympathetically - a look you appreciated but knew couldn't be good. "Wheres Dewey?" Was the first thing that came out of your mouth once you had calmed down. You noticed how her posture slump slightly as her eyes fall to the ground - that can't be good.
"He's fine right? tell me he's ok... please" you brokenly begged her, tears rolling down your cheeks as you knuckles turned white from the strength in which you were gripping her hands. When she finally lifted her head back up, her eyes brimming with her own tears, a whole new wave of pain erupted through you.
"No no no no no!" you sobbed, Sam instantly pulling you into a tight embrace whilst remaining careful of your stitches. "He was all I had" you cried into her chest, her own heart breaking at your words.
She allowed you to cry into her chest as she gently stroked your hair. It had been a very long time since you had experienced such affection, not sharing a proper hug since before your parents had decided you were a lost cause. It was a feeling you missed.
Despite never wanting to leave her warm embrace, you eventually pulled back, wiping your nose as you sniffled away the remnants of your tears. You slumped back into your bed, feeling nothing but numbness overcome your body. Sam just sat there with you for a while, offering you whatever comfort she could whilst you let everything sink in.
You had nothing left. Absolutely nothing.
Just as that thought crossed your mind, you heard something approaching from the doorway, causing you to raise your head slowly, expecting a nurse or something to be coming to check on you. Instead, you watched as Richie rolled Tara in on a wheelchair, the injured girl flashing you a small smile.
If you hadn't been paralysed by your overbearing emotions you would've returned the gesture, instead your eyes looked back towards Sam whose lips similarly showed a small smile. "We're getting the fuck out of Woodsboro... wanna come?"
You looked back over towards Tara, her sweet features still offering you a warm smile. Your heart swelled as something inside you told you that it was her idea for you to accompany them. Your eyes welled with tears at the thought, finally offering her a wet smile, chuckling despite your tears as you nod enthusiastically.
"I would fucking love to"
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