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abstractpenny · 2 days ago

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here's a very unedited rough draft first chapter of a fic I'm working on

Its Kai centric, post-season 3

Strong TWs for: Rape, Suicidal thoughts/attempt, Depression, Alcoholism, and just General Adult Themes

(hopefully capitalizing it so weirdly will help you notice it)

(also, if you find anything awkward or hard to read, lemme know please please please please please please)

sorry its so cringy for like a good amount of it. I feel like putting OCs in fic is just like that. but the ocs are there to propel kai's suffering so its fine right? right?

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After Zane died, Kai tried his best to be there for his family. For his sister. He did, he really did. But when Jay and Cole wouldn't stop bickering, and Nya wouldn't stop yelling, and Lloyd wouldn't stop crying, Kai couldn't do it anymore. Wu definitely wasn't helping either, nor was Garmadon. They just. Locked themselves away.

So Kai got fed up. After a particularly nasty fight with Nya, he packed his bags and left. Left where? He'd find out later, when his feet carried him through Ninjago City as he tried to find an outlet for his emotions. Anything.

When night came, he found himself wandering down an alleyway. At the end of it, he heard people talking and smelled cigarette smoke. Kai kept his guard up as he approached two men, people he would definitely beat up and haul off in cuffs if he were currently a ninja. They turned to glare at him, and he glared back.

"You guys know where a guy could get a few punches in on someone?" He asks through gritted teeth. He really didn't want to beat someone up because he had absolutely zero anger management skills, but here he was.

One of the men laughed, a raspy and mean laugh. "Why ya askin', kid? Those silly lookin' pajama men finally dump you in the guttah?" His face was cruel, even in the darkness.

"Or did ya finally realize how fucked up they was?" The other one piped up. "Throwin' poor guys like usses around while they enjoyed they's glory?"

The first guy got back up in Kai's face, second hand cigarette smoke poofing into the poor boys face as he coughed. "Yur not here on a spy mission, is ya? Cuz we won't tolerates that. Not one bit," he sneered.

Kai rapidly shakes his head. "Nah, man. I swear. Just here to blow off some steam, no ninja shit involved. If they knew I was here, they'd beat my ass and I honestly don't wanna deal with that."

He stood awkwardly as the two men considered him before the first guy relaxed and laid an arm around Kai's shoulders. The fire elemental tried to keep his flinch to a minimum. "Ya not too different from us, y'know? Come on in, boy. Yuh free to do whatevah. 'cept rat us out, 'f course. We'll have eyes on you constantly, don't fuck it up." As he spoke, he walked with Kai to a set of stairs, leading down to a padlocked door with a tough looking man beside it. The second guy followed them as they walked down the stairs. When they got to the door, the man with his sweaty arm around Kai smiled a toothy grin at the bouncer. "He's all good tuh come in, Derry, he's with us."

The bouncer looked Kai up and down for a moment, suitcase and all, before opening the door and moving to let the trio into the loud building. As soon as the door opens, the stench of sweat, cigarettes, blood, and something else hits Kai's nose. It wasn't soon before that something else became very familiar.

The first man led him in and over to the bar. "Ey, Ritchy, gimme a couple shots. Don't care what, just make it light. Kid here ain't have anything much before."

Kai glares over at the man in the seat to the right of his. "How would you know? You don't know if I've drank before." He hasn't, but the guy doesn't need to know that.

He's met with a look, one unamused, from the other man. "It's pretty fuckin' clear, kid. 'sides, it's a compliment I'm yur first." He chuckles raspily. "It's a treat, I promise ya."

Kai continues glaring at the guy before four shot glasses full of a clear-ish liquid are laid out in front of his group. He looks over to his left to find the second guy from earlier is gone, shrugging at the realization. Less stupidity to deal with on his part.

Kai's hand picks up the shot glass as he brings it up to his nose. The scent is strong and his nose scrunches up. "I'm seriously supposed to drink this shit!?" He says a bit too loud.

The guy next to him cackles. "Why'dya think they come in such small glasses. Easy downing. Alls in one go, like this-" He brings the glass up to his mouth and tilts his head back quickly, pouring the alcohol down his throat. When it's all down, he slams the glass on the bar top as he swings his head back down. "Now you try, kid."

Kai hesitantly looks down at the glasses in front of him. No going back now. He lifts the glass and, before he can smell it, slams it back. The vile liquid fills his throat and he almost gags. But it's down as soon as it started and he slams the shot glass back down on the table as he looks back forward and gasps. "Fuck, that's nasty." He sticks his tongue out before immediately putting it back in his mouth at the idea of all the shit that could be in the air.

The man laughs at him. "Yeah, yeah, you'll learn tuh love it. Now, don't waste my money. Ya still have two more." He gestures towards the last to full shot glasses on the table.

Kai gapes at him. "Aren't you gonna have another one?" He groans as the man shakes his head. "Fuck, fine. At least tell me your name, first. I feel awkward taking shots next to a dude I don't even know."

The guy flashes him that stupid fucking toothy grin. "Nevah ask anyone's name here, kid. But since I like ya, I'll give you one of mine. Rippah."

Kai raises an eyebrow at the cringey name. "Ripper??"

The guy- Ripper- laughs loudly. "No shit kid, that's what I just said." He pushes the two glasses closer to the fire elemental. "Drink up, kid. Didn't buy ya them for no reason."

The alcohol shimmers in the lights of the building. Kai scowls down at the glasses before taking one in his hand and downing it before he can overthink it. His throat burns, but he finds he doesn't mind as much as last time. When he's done, he looks back towards the other man. All Ripper does is look at him expectantly, so Kai grabs the final shot glass and gags before downing it.

When he's done, he feels like vomiting. What the fuck is he doing here, he shouldn't be here. He doesn't know what's in these. He doesn't know how strong they are. He's messed up, he should go.

Go where? It's not like there's a home to go back to.

So, instead, he just looks back over at Ripper, a slight frown on his face. "Is that all you brought me here for? To spoon me alcohol? Because that's kinda fucked up, man. You do know I'm still, like, literally a kid." His fists are clenched on the table and his frown has gotten stronger.

Ripper just shrugs nonchalantly. "No need tuh get ya panties in a bunch, kid. I know how old ya are. 'sides, that's not the only reason I brought ya here. Ya obviously need a place tuh stay and ya said ya needed tuh get some punches in, so heres ya go." He gestures towards a big circle in the middle of the building, surrounded by chairs and people. The floor of the circle is dirt, and there's currently two people in the ring, fighting. One of them hits the other over the head, definitely giving him a concussion, and the crowd cheers.

Kai looks back towards Ripper with an intrigued expression on his face. "What do I need to do to get in?"

The Ripper smiles.

----------

Kai walks into the ring in this stupid fucking embarrassing tight outfit as the announcer shouts his name.

'Vs. The Red Shogun, a first timer. Let's see how long he lasts!" The excited voice yells with a bit of sadism in his tone. When he finishes, a horn goes off, signaling the start of the match.

The guy Kai is fighting is a scarred up Hypnobrai who scowls and hisses at him as they circle each other. Finally, the snake goes in for the first punch and Kai moves out of the way, dodging like second nature. That seems to piss off the snake as she attempts to land a few more punches. Emphasis on the word 'attempts' because she lands a grand total of zero.

Kai laughs cockily at her, grinning widely. "Are you supposed to be, like, hard to fight or something? I thought they were gonna pair me up against someone actually threatening for my first go ‘round." He shrugs as he lands a sneaky kick on her hip. "Guess not."

She hisses even louder and lunges towards Kai. There's a struggle for a few moments as they wrestle, the snake trying to get in as many punches as possible, but Kai ends on top, pinning her down. He's finally given the freedom he needs to let off some steam.

It starts off with a simple punch across the cheek, but it quickly escalates to the point where he's absolutely beating the shit out of the Hypnobrai. She's hissing and growling, but it's doing her no good. There's blood pooling by the side of her head and she's definitely lost a fang, but Kai keeps punching until the horn rings out.

"And the winner is the Red Shogun, by a wild margin! There you have it folks. Maybe we have a new threat to watch out for!"

Kai punches the Hypnobrai across the face one more time, letting her blood soak his hands as he probably dislocates her jaw with a snap, before he stands up and walks away, leaving whoever to take care of her broken and trembling body.

He's shocked at how little regret he feels. Maybe it's because of the growing warmth in his chest from the alcohol, but a little part in his mind knows it's not. He's a bad person, beating up people. At least they aren't innocents, though. They're as bad as him, if not worse. Does that justify it? He doubts he'll ever know, but he needs this right now, so he doesn't care.

Kai walks back over to the bar and sits next to a grinning Ripper. The bartender offers him a towel to wipe the blood from his hands and drink, larger than the shots and definitely more potent smelling.

"Good job, kid. Knew ya had it in ya," the Ripper says in his snake-like voice.

Kai snorts as he picks up the drink, taking as big a gulp as possible. It's easier, now that the alcohol from earlier is setting in, but he still gags. It's nice knowing it'll add to the foggy feeling he's experiencing the world through, so he swallows most of the nasty drink before speaking. "I thought you said they'd throw one of the highest ranked opponents at me immediately." He gulps down the rest of the drink and savors the burn as it goes down his throat.

Ripper laughs loudly. "Kid, they did. That was one of tha top guys. Ya powerful, ya know. And you was holdin' back, we could all tell." He gestures the bartender to get two more drinks.

Kai smirks, a facial expression he's done a thousand times, but now it just feels wrong. Dirty. "Cool." The drinks are placed on the counter. "Uh, am I fighting anymore tonight? I'd like to head back up to that apartment soon. Didn't really get a good chance to figure my way around, y'know? Besides, I need a shit ton of sleep after the day I've had."

Ripper pushes one of the drinks towards Kai, who graciously accepts it and starts drinking it. "Nah. Ya can head up whenevah, kid." He raises an eyebrow as Kai sips his drink, letting the alcohol sit in his mouth before he swallows. Ripper grins wider at that. "Y'know, kid. Yur a natural at this shit. Have a feelin' you'll be chugging it down in no time."

He's met with a glare from the fire elemental. "Yeah, yeah, no need to make fun of me."

"Kid, I'm not makin' fun of ya. Yur downing that 'lmost as well as ya fight. Almost," Ripper laughs.

Kai considers him for a moment, before shrugging and downing the rest of his drink. "I'mma go back. Thanks for hooking me up. I owe ya big time." He stands up, heading out of the room.

Before he's all the way out, he hears Ripper's voice call out, "Say hi to my buddy for me!" And then the cold air of outside is hitting Kai's, shockingly, flushed face. Maybe that alcohol hit him harder than he thought.

He walks down the alley, stumbling every few steps. Okay, definitely hit him harder than he thought. But soon, he's in the apartment building, up the stairs, and knocking on apartment 212. The door cracks open and an eye looks out to Kai. After a few undoings of locks, the door is open enough for Kai to walk in.

"How'd the suit work, kid?" His new roommate asks.

Kai shrugs and starts stumbling down the hall. "'s good." He yawns. "Fuck, I need sleep."

His roommate laughs, a mean undertone to it. "Get some sleep, sunshine. We'll talk in the morning." And before Kai knows it, he's in his room, the door shutting behind him.

The first thing he does is flop on his bed. The next thing he does is wait for the emotions to hit. But they don't. At least, not as much. The alcohol suppresses them, makes his head drown them out along with every other thought.

Kai might not mind this as much as he thinks.

----------

The first time Kai gets blackout drunk is the first time the Ripper pats him on the back.

It had been a rough day and Kai was just ready for the club to open. When he gets in there, the familiar and comforting stench of cigarettes, alcohol, and blood hits his nose and he smiles. He's in his Red Shogun suit, he always is. It does a shockingly good job at keeping people from knowing his identity. He walks over to the bar and sits in his usual seat, eager for the release the drinks usually give him. He knows it's unhealthy and that he's maybe possibly probably getting a tiny bit addicted, but he can't really care at this point.

He pays for the drinks with the money he's been winning. When the shots get to him, he downs them. They're more bitter, more potent, than the ones on that first night. He feels them setting in quickly. When his name is called for the next fight, he's ready. He stands up and walks over to the ring.

It's a human today. Not that Kai really cares. At least, he doesn't care yet. They circle around each other in the ring when the horn goes off.

The fight goes longer than it should, but the Red Shogun never disappoints. When he gets the chance, he leaps in, slamming his opponent on the ground.

He expects the other man to struggle, especially after his head bounces on the tough dirt below, but... He doesn't. He lays there, unconscious. Kai hesitates for a moment before he hits the man. He's not just here to win, after all. He's here to blow off steam. Hit after hit on the unconscious man, reminiscent of his first day here with the Hypnobrai girl. But, this time, he's more aggressive, pounding in the man's skull, almost literally.

The audience gasps and groans for the man, cheering on every particularly nasty hit. Finally, Kai's hand hits the man hard enough across the temple that something happens he wishes he never saw. An eyeball pops out of its socket and rolls, the stringy bits of it following.

In shock, Kai stares down at the man. It's then he realizes the bloody mash on the floor isn't breathing. He feels like vomiting, so when the horn goes off, he leaves the ring rapidly. Now, a smart idea may have been to walk outside and get fresh air, or to go to the bathroom. But Kai doesn't. Instead, he walks over to the bar, getting a familiar towel handed to him as the bartender, Ritchy, looks him over before handing him a few shots of potent alcohol.

While Kai wipes off his knuckles, he looks down at the glass. He can almost smell it from here. It's clearly one of the more potent alcohols they have. Once Kai's knuckles are cleaned off, at least to the best of his ability, he grabs the glass and downs it all at once, his throat burning with the awful liquid. He gasps for air when he swallows, the drink much stronger than what he's used to.

Ripper comes and sits next to Kai, a proud smile on his face. He pats Kai's shoulder, firm and strong. "Ya did good, kid," is all he says before ordering a few more shots for each of them. "Strongest ya got, Ritchy. On me. Kid deserves it." The shots are quickly served and Ripper downs one of them immediately. Kai looks down at the drinks as Ripper nudges one towards him. "Drink up, kid."

Kai's hand wraps around the small glass as he downs the shot. Then another. Then another. He's quick, just getting it over with. This part is the worst, it's the later he's excited for. When all his feelings get so fucked up and mixed together with the alcohol, he can't think straight anymore.

And that feeling is quick to come, much quicker than with anything else he's drank before. And as the world starts spinning, only a half hour after those first shots, Kai doesn't stop. He keeps drinking, paying the bartender whatever he asks for the drinks. It's late into the night when Ritchy cuts him off. Ripper has already left, and it's just Kai, drinking his last beer in the rowdy fight club. Nothing's really making sense, the room is spinning. But Kai keeps drinking.

When he finds the bottom of his cup, he groans. Maybe it's time to head home. So he stands up and immediately stumbles, almost meeting the ground with his face. He growls and walks drunkenly to the door, leaving the chaotic environment. He finds his way into his apartment building and heads up the stairs, eventually finding the apartment he's been staying in for the past few weeks.

He knocks, the door unlocks, and there stands his roommate. "Ah, welcome home, boy. Good to see you made it back in one piece." He takes in Kai's ragged appearance and frowns dramatically. "You've had quite the night, haven't you. Come on in, I'll take good care of you."

Kai walks into the apartment. He doesn't remember much after that. He knows Ripper was there. He knows he was handed water. He has glimpses of hands roaming his body. But he can't seem to remember the rest of the night.

The morning comes and Kai groans, rolling over. He's shirtless, which isn't too odd, but his pants and boxers are gone. Peculiar. He never sleeps without boxers. He sits up with another groan and a wave of nausea overtakes him. "Holy shit, what happened?" The night is a blur to him. He doesn't remember much past when Ripper bought him those drinks after the fight.

God, that dreaded fight. Kai wishes he forgot that part too. Another wave of nausea hit him, but not from the hangover. The imagery of the man's eyeball rolling on the dirt floor is clear in Kai's muddled mind.

Instead of thinking about it too much, though, Kai ignores it. That's one thing he's gotten good at since Zane's death. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Bottle up your emotions until you can take them out with anger.

Until you can take them out on a guy in a fight club. Until you can kill a man.

Kai shakes his head lightly. No. No thinking about that. He looks around the room and finds a fresh bottle of water. He picks it up and drinks it. It's still a little cold. His roommate must have left it for him before leaving for work.

After taking a while to wake up, sipping on water, and eventually vomiting into the trashcan by his bed, Kai stands up, wobbling as he walks over to get dressed. It's strange that he's naked, but he doesn't put it past himself to strip to his ass while fucked up drunk.

He's quick to throw clothes on and leave his room. The headache is killing him and he feels like throwing up again, but he manages to throw some toast in the toaster. As he nibbles on it, he looks out of the window, to the town below. People are going about their day, families walking happily. None of them know Kai took a life las-

Not thinking about that. With a sigh, Kai finishes off his toast and grabs a beer from the fridge, heading over to the living room and turning on the TV. Not much else to do until the club opens tonight.

----------

Hands grope his body, and Kai's upset this isn't as unfamiliar as it should be. Ripper whispers something in his ear, but Kai can't hear him. He's in another world.

He knows he's not in his right mind, the alcohol overtaking his thoughts, but he doesn't stop them. Maybe he wants this?

It's been a month and half since he first killed a man. He's killed more since. And since that first night, his roommate and Ripper have started touching Kai more and more. It's become almost familiar, part of routine, for Kai to come home and for the two men to immediately jump him.

After he realizes this is going to be a common occurrence, he starts staying at the club later, drinking his sorrows away. Sometimes he'll cry, sometimes he'll fight. But it's always the same when he comes home.

He's pinned to the bed and his roommate takes off his clothes. "Now, boy, you're gonna do something nice for Ripper here. Get on your knees and suck him nice and good."

Kai doesn't want to, but his body moves against his will. He knows how rough they get when he disobeys.

The sex goes on for way longer than Kai even knows. The two men use him, taking turns at some points, sharing at others.

The night ends with Kai riding Ripper. His tongue flops out of his mouth, covered with drool, as he bounces up and down. His roommate makes sure to take a picture of his pretty expression.

When they're finished with him, they leave him laying on the bed, trembling and covered in various fluids.

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Kai misses his family.

He misses his sister’s snark, Wu’s weird and mysterious riddles, his brother's laugh, Cole’s smile. Hell, he even misses Jay and his motormouth.

Most of all, though, he misses Zane.

The last First Master knows how long had made the cavern in his gut grow by ten times the size. Now, staring at the shattered skyline of Ninjago City as it’s rebuilt into New Ninjago City, Kai feels nothing but pain. The alcohol in his blood makes him sway on the side of the building, almost falling, but not quite, only just enough distance between him and the edge to keep him from plummeting.

It’s funny. Kai always imagined that people would do something like this when the sun was setting or rising or even completely out of the sky. He never expected to be in this position, not really, but he especially didn’t expect to be here on such a nice day. It’s one of those days where the wind blows just right, where the temperature is just warm enough, where the sun shines just right. One of those days that remind you of when you’re five years old and free.

Fuck, Kai wishes he could go back. Mom and Dad were still there, still alive. They cared- or at least seemed like they still did. Nya was so giggly, so unserious. She let herself play with pretty pink things sometimes. She didn’t anymore.

A gust of wind blows through Kai’s unmanaged hair. He stopped putting it up a while ago, he doesn’t know exactly when.

The fresh air on his face brings him a breath of clarity. Of peace.

Kai stumbles closer to the edge.

This was his only option, wasn’t it? To fall and fall until the ground caught him and he stopped breathing. If he didn’t, he’d just go back. The club would open and he’d go back and drink and fight and then he’d come home and Ripper would be there and then he’d sleep and rinse and repeat.

His toes are on the edge now. It’s funny. Kai remembers when Mom used to pretend to eat his toes. Oh, how he’d giggle and squeal. The goofy fake eating noise she made when she’d bring his little baby toes up to her face. Fuck.

Oh, his toes are hanging off the edge now, aren’t they. And he’s swaying, isn’t he.

He feels himself going off balance, falling, when rough hands grab his wrist and pull him back. Kai looks back to see Ritchy’s scared eyes looking at him. Why’s the bartender here?

Y’know, the bartender always reminded Kai of Cole. A big buff black dude, quiet but still caring. In Kai’s experience the bartender was sweet on the inside despite his intense job at the violent bar. The fire elemental is pretty sure Ritchy said something about the job paying well, about needing to pay for his daughter's cancer or something, but that definitely could’ve been some alcohol induced dream.

The man’s dark eyes stare into Kai’s and, for just a few brief moments, they’re nothing but two humans, connected beyond words.

Then Ritchy’s letting go of Kai, who found safety near the middle of the roof, and he’s leaving. The air feels warmer now, more safe. Kai stands in it and just breathes.

He’s alive, and that’s more than enough for now.

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