#guitarist ezra

[something-tofightfor]

Root Pearl: 5

Pairing: Ezra x female reader - musician AU

Word Count: 11,537

Rating: E. There’s no actual sex, but ... well, you’ll see. 

Summary: Ezra invited you over to see his studio and hear him rehearse, so what’s the delay? You have no idea - especially after the way you left things the last time you saw him.

Blanket warnings: loss of a parent, character death, survivor’s guilt, learning to deal with the loss of a limb, infidelity (not Reader w/Ezra), blood, bodily injury, heavy angst.

Author’s note:

Four and a half months later, we’re back. This is just sort of an ‘ease in’ chapter to get me back into the frame of mind to write this story ... but I didn’t want to leave them alone for much longer. 

Hopefully it won’t take me as long to get back to them for next time. Thank you for your patience!

Catch up on the first four parts of this story here!

Cee wasn’t home when you dropped him off, and Ezra was glad. Not because he didn’t want to see her, but because he needed time. 

You’d helped him carry things up to his apartment - Ezra holding onto the case his prosthetic was in and you handling the leftovers. And he’d kissed you again after you’d put things into the refrigerator, the man following you to the front door and stopping you before you walked out. 

His voice was low when he called out your name but so was yours in reply, the slight droop of your eyelids as you leaned in noticeable even in the dim light of his hallway. And he kissed you hard, the man groaning into your mouth as you fisted his shirt in both hands, Ezra fighting with himself not to let things go too far, or make you think that he expected anything from your presence. 

Because he didn’t. 

He didn’t expect anything from you at all, and that, to him, was the biggest surprise of them all. It was you that pulled away first, gasping for breath and tilting your head to stare at him for long seconds before you’d laughed and then tucked your chin against your chest, mumbling about how you needed to go. 

He didn’t try to stop you or suggest anything different, and after one final kiss - a short one - and a promise that you’d hear from him soon, you were gone and Ezra was alone in the apartment, light spilling into the hallway from the fixture over the kitchen island counter. 

He allowed himself a few minutes to stand still and think and then Ezra broke for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him before he began to remove his clothes piece by piece. His arm was beginning to ache, and he knew that he’d need to take a pain pill or two before bed. But at the moment, that wasn’t important. Not even close. 

What was important was the heat of the water and the feeling of the tile against his forehead when he leaned in to rest against it. 

What was also important was the sight of you that flashed behind his eyelids when he closed them, the memory of the way you’d treated him that night still fresh in his mind. 

And not just tonight, he thought as he let the water cascade over his back and shoulders. Since the first damn time I met her. 

He soaped himself up as quickly as he could, taking care to avoid his abdomen and the end of his arm, and when it came time to wash his hair, he pulled his fingers through the sodden strands, his touch a little rougher than usual. The blunt edges of his nails dragged over his scalp, and when Ezra opened his eyes, tilting his head back to rinse the shampoo out, he focused on the ceiling.  

At least it started that way, the man’s brown eyes honed in on the tiny ridges above him before his gaze moved down and he was staring at the tile on the wall - one of them slightly askew. That’s where his attention stayed as he reached for the conditioner bottle and spread it through his hair, massaging it in as best as he could with one hand. 

Ezra groaned while pulling his hand away, the man hissing out a breath as he stepped back from the spray of the water. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to face the showerhead and closed his eyes, pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead. 

“Shit.” The sound was almost obscured by the noise of the water, but he said it again as his fingertips curled against his scalp, Ezra’s nose wrinkling before he licked his lips.

He was used to many things when it came to women - and even men on occasion. 

What Ezra wasn’t used to were the lingering thoughts toward one specific woman, especially when nothing physical had happened. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. He lowered his hand, pressing his palm to the center of his chest and exhaling, the water hitting his forearm and then dripping down his stomach and thighs. Not since the bar. Not since … not since I met her. 

His hand dropped lower, Ezra’s palm finding and then stopping over the wound on his belly. He took a deep breath and held it, the raised edges of the scar pressed against his palm, everything warm thanks to the heat of the water. 

Both of you had reservations about moving forward, and he’d had no problem with where things ended with you earlier that night. Nothing wrong with slow. He exhaled, eyes closed as he tucked his chin against his chest. And I really don’t know what I’m capable of. 

That was the truth. There was no denying that he was attracted to you, and he’d barely been able to conceal his body’s reaction to your proximity when you were on his lap or in his hallway. But he knew that that didn’t automatically mean what it had meant only months earlier.

Because now I can’t just … everything has to be thought through, and … He groaned as his hand moved lower, the man palming the slight bulge between his legs before he curled his lip, taking himself in hand and beginning to stroke along the length. 

He was only half hard, and it felt wrong - much like it had every time he’d used his left hand to get himself off. But the touch itself was welcome, and so Ezra continued. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, the glide of his hand made easier by the remnants of conditioner coating his palm. 

His breathing changed after only a few seconds, the sound coming out ragged. Though he could feel himself swelling with every stroke, Ezra tried not to focus on it, instead letting his mind wander. 

The humid air in the shower was comforting, and Ezra’s breathing evened out moments later, the man’s eyes opening halfway. Relax. There’s no reason to … He hummed as he slid the tip of his thumb up, swirling the pad of it slowly in a circle while he squeezed. “Oh, Kevva.” It finally felt good, and when he resumed the gliding motion, Ezra’s lips curved into a small smile, hand moving faster. 

Heavy against his own palm, Ezra inched closer to the water, the bulk of the spray hitting him in the center of his chest and running down. Tucking his chin closer to his chest to watch its path, he licked his lips at the sight of the way his hand looked - the way each tiny thrust of his hips in time with the stroking motions forced the length of him through his curled fingers. 

But moments later, he blinked droplets of water from his eyes and his breath caught at the thought of another hand on him - one smaller and smoother and with a lighter grip, one that was attached to you, your elbow bent as you tucked it close to your body. “Oh, shit.” He hissed the words out, eyes slamming shut, and even though he knew it was wrong, Ezra couldn’t stop himself from continuing the fantasy of having you touch him. 

He changed his grip as he tried to imagine what it would feel like, loosening his fingers and rotating his wrist on every downstroke. When he bit his lower lip, his hand reaching his tip again and squeezing, Ezra groaned out your name, speeding up the movement of his hand and forcing his eyes back open. 

He blinked to clear the water from them again, his gaze falling back to what he was doing, and with each stroke, Ezra panted out a breath, mouth hanging open. 

“Need me to stroke your ego? I’ve wanted to meet you for so long. Is this real life? If you wanted me to come in, you just had to ask. You could have touched me. I wouldn’t have stopped you.” 

He replayed your words, pairing them with the memory of the way you’d kissed him back, of the way it felt to have your weight settle into his lap, of the jolt he’d felt the moment you’d locked eyes and smiled at him the night of the concert. All of it. All of it is …

The muscles in his abdomen contracted as he gripped himself tighter, the speed of his hand picking back up. Ezra said your name again, the sound coming out in an almost pathetic grunt, and then the man’s eyes screwed shut. 

He was close. He could feel the way his entre body was tensing, the curl of his toes against the textured floor of the shower - and with a final gasp, Ezra twisted his wrist quickly to the right and then to the left as he completed another stroke. “Oh, fuck.” 

He came hard, his hips jerking forward as he continued to squeeze himself, the movement of his fingers more of a reflex than anything else. With a low whine, Ezra’s eyes opened again and his gaze drifted down, fixating on the way what hadn’t splattered against the dark-tiled wall was dribbling down and over his fingers. Fuck that felt amazing. 

Swearing one more time, Ezra took as deep a breath as he could - and then smiled, releasing his grip and reaching out, using that hand to swipe the tile clean before letting the water rinse his skin. Once that was done, he paused for a few seconds to steady himself before taking another step forward and letting the water hit the top of his head. 

He stood there for long moments, catching his breath and rinsing his hair, but Ezra didn’t stop smiling. 

It wasn’t the first time that he’d touched himself after the accident. It wasn’t even the first time that he’d done it in the shower. But it was the first time he’d done it thinking of someone that was currently in his life - someone that he could potentially end up trying the real thing with at some point. Soon, maybe.

But what Ezra didn’t know was whether or not it had been a fluke, and if his body would react differently to the two of you actually being together. He didn’t know how you would react to seeing what was left of him - the lost weight and scar tissue, the missing limb much more noticeable in such tight proximity and without anything covering it. “It doesn’t matter right now.” He muttered the words, taking a final, steadying breath before he straightened up. 

He felt good as he finished his shower; rinsing the conditioner from his hair and scrubbing his face before using medicated soap to carefully clean the scars on his arm, abdomen and lower back. By the time he’d turned the water off and wrapped himself in a towel, Ezra was as calm as he’d been at any point following the crash, and it shocked him. 

It shocked him so much that he didn’t even notice that Cee was sitting in the living room with her feet propped up on one of the footstools in front of the couch. “Ezra? I’m home.” 

Swallowing his pills, he turned toward the girl, the glass he’d been holding skittering across the countertop. He spluttered a response out, quickly reaching for a dish towel to clean up the water he’d spilled onto the marble. “Kevva, girl. Warn me next time, I -” 

“I said your name twice, Ezra.” She turned, hanging her elbows over the back of the couch and cocking her head to one side. “You didn’t even notice.” 

“No, I did not.” Tossing the towel next to the sink, he headed for where she sat, lowering himself onto the opposite end of the couch. “I didn’t know you were back.” 

“Yeah, I …” She bit her lip, eyeing him. “I got back a little while ago. Heard your shower running, and wasn’t sure if…” She looked past him, narrowing her eyes at he bedroom door. “If you had company.” For a few seconds, Ezra wondered what she’d heard, and if he’d been too loud. She’s never heard anything before. 

“No company, little bird.” He smiled, shrugging. “She did drop me off, though. Brought up those leftovers that were promised, and then left. She has work tomorrow.” Cee’s eyes flashed in the semi-darkness, but the girl stayed quiet, still watching him. “What?”

“I was waiting for you to call.” Cee leaned forward, arms crossed over her chest. “And when you didn’t, I thought … I thought it must have gone well. Or,” she continued, raising a brow. “Or that it went really bad, and -”

“Not bad.” He grinned, the memory of your time on the couch together fresh in his mind. “Not bad at all, Cee.” He watched her eyes widen, and then as the girl stood, spreading her hands out in front of herself, Ezra leaned back and rested his head against the back of the couch, his smile growing. “Stop looking at me like that.” 

“No, Ezra, I won’t.” She laughed, planting her feet and then putting her hands on her hips. “Tell me what happened. Tell me ev… well, not everything, but…” She paused and he peeked at her, lifting his shoulders in a shrug before he let them drop. “Ezra!”

“I invited her over to listen to me rehearse.” Licking his lips, Ezra raised his head. “I’ve got the studio, and I need to practice.”

“But you never invite …” Cee blew out a breath. “Oh, that…” She lowered herself onto the edge of the coffee table, facing him. “Good.” Good? Is it? “When?”

“I don’t know.” He could feel the pills beginning to work, the pain in his arm subsiding as the medicine made its way through his bloodstream. “We didn’t set a date, I just extended the invitation.” She hummed, leaning forward. “She seemed surprised.” 

“Of course she did.” Cee’s smile widened, the girl’s eyebrows going up. “Think about it from her point of view.” What? “A few weeks ago, you were just …” Cee shrugged, sighing. “Just this guy that she’d only heard on the radio and seen a few times onstage. She’d never even talked to you, but knew things about you.” 

“But that -” He pushed himself upright, opening his mouth to speak again, and Cee cut him off. 

“And now she’s having dinner with you, and seeing where you live and having you over to her house. You’re inviting her to know you, Ezra, and not just the you that everyone knows.” He contemplated her words, letting out a long, slow breath. She’s right .Things are … changing. He thought back to what he’d done in the shower, though he didn’t let his mind stay there for long. “It’s probably a lot for her to handle, especially on top of a breakup.” 

“I’ll … I’ll rescind my invitation, then. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted her to -”

“No, don’t.” Cee reached out, settling her hand on his flannel-covered knee. “That’s not what I think you should do. I just think you need to remember that this is all new to her, like it was new to you once.” 

“And to you.” He blinked slowly, a drowsy warmth settling through his body. “It was new to you, too.”

“No. When you grow up with someone like Damon, you get used to shit fast.” Using two fingers, the girl rubbed the space between her brows. “This is all I know. But I understand it because I’ve seen it with other people, and not … not just the ones you or he were with.” He frowned, lifting his hand to place it atop hers. “Hey.” She said his name, leaning in. “Make sure she knows she’s not just another one of them.” 

“She does.” He straightened up, fingers curling over hers. “Of course she -”

“Ezra.” Cee pulled her hand free, tucking her hair behind one ear and then standing. “It’s going to take more than two dates and an invitation over to listen to you sing to prove it.” She leaned in, pressing a kiss to the still-damp hair on his head. “Now come on, you’re about to fall asleep on this couch, and that’ll be hell on your arm.” 

She helped him to his feet, but once he was up, Ezra realized that he was much more alert, his gaze snapping down to the girl standing in front of him. “Sometimes I wonder who the real adult in this apartment is, Birdie.” Her answering smile was a grin, and when Cee laughed, Ezra did, too. “I told you earlier that I don’t know what I’m doing, so thank you.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” She stepped away from him and toward the kitchen, Ezra watching as she reached up to pull her hair into a loose ponytail. Wait. 

“Cee.” He closed his hand into a fist, taking a deep breath. When she turned around to face him, Ezra opened and then closed his mouth, biting down on the inside of his cheek. Just say it. “Thank you.” 

“For?” She waited, one hand on her hip. 

“For putting this in motion.” Ezra stepped closer, nodding his head. “For suggesting that she go to that bar. For -”

“I might have suggested it, but I didn’t know she’d actually go.” Cee shrugged, but he could hear the satisfied tone of her voice. “And I didn’t know that you’d see each other, either.” It was the truth, but in that moment - the memory of your kiss fresh in his mind, Ezra didn’t care. 

“Take the damn compliment, girl.” He barely kept a straight face as he sad it, Cee unable to do so either. As they headed down the hallway toward their bedrooms, both of them were still laughing, Ezra stopping only long enough to flip the light switch as he stood in his doorway. “Goodnight, Cee.” 

“Night, Ez.” She turned to look back and over her shoulder at him, her laughter-reddened cheeks visible from the light that spilled out of her bedroom. “See you tomorrow.” 

He closed his door behind him and almost immediately pulled his shirt off, tossing it into the basket in the corner. It wasn’t that late, but Ezra was exhausted - and the lingering warmth from his shower coupled with the medication was making it worse. 

He didn’t have anywhere to be the following morning, and so he didn’t bother setting an alarm, instead heading back to his dresser and grabbing his nighttime compression sleeve. He pulled it on, turning his head to stare down at it, and then let his eyes wander to his abdomen, a slow breath escaping his nose as his fingers traced along the scar there. 

Ezra sat in silence for a few minutes, hand pressed to his belly, and then he leaned back, reaching over to turn his light off before pulling the blanket over his body. The darkness was comforting to him - as it always had been, and when Ezra stretched out, he felt himself relaxing completely, his weight sinking into the mattress. 

I should text her and say goodnight. Keeping his eyes shut, he contemplated doing just that - and then, as sleep began to overtake him, he decided against it. It’s too late. She’s asleep already. Ezra turned his head, cheek resting against the cool pillowcase - but with a smile on his face. I’ll reach out tomorrow.

And only moments later, he too was sleeping - going under much faster than he had at any point in the previous few months.

— 

You hadn’t expected to hear from Ezra right away, but when two days passed without any sort of contact, you started to worry. 

You’d left things on good terms with him - or so you’d thought, the man initiating a borderline desperate kiss with you in front of his door, his body pressed to yours in a way that would have been indecent in public. 

Maybe he’s busy. You tried to convince yourself, the words sounding hollow in your head as you drove home from work on Thursday afternoon. Or maybe something came up. 

It wasn’t that you’d assumed you would see him again right away, but his suggestion had sounded like he wanted you over in the near future, not somewhere far down the road. And I’d love to see him in his studio. You hated admitting it - hated feeling like just another fan, hated the idea that there was even a small part of you that was looking forward to being privy to that part of Ezra’s life instead of just spending time with him doing other things. But he invited me, and he knows … he knows that I…

“Dammit.” You groaned, slapping a hand over your face as you sat at a red light. “Why are you like this?” Whispering the words, you reached over with your other hand and turned the car’s radio on, flipping through channels. 

Almost as if the universe was playing a cruel trick on you, you heard Ezra’s familiar voice coming through the speakers moments later, The Fringe’s most popular single filling the car’s interior. There was nothing you could do but laugh, and as the light changed and you eased off the brake, you shook your head, doing the only logical thing you could think of and started singing along. 

The song ended and went straight into a reminder from the announcer about the benefit concert - and an update that it was completely sold out. 

In spite of the uncertainty about your situation with him, you grinned. Good for you, Ezra. You weren’t surprised that the show was sold out but you were surprised that it had happened so quickly - the venue was a decent size, tickets had only gone on sale a week or so earlier, and they weren’t exactly cheap. 

But it was going to be the first time he took the stage since the accident, and you knew that people were excited to support him and the other members of the band in any way they could. Especially since it could be the last time. It was a sobering thought, and as you parked and got out of your car, you took and held a deep breath. It won’t be the last time. It can’t be. 

While you heated up dinner a few minutes later, you pulled your phone out and started scrolling through your social media feed. It was a lot of the usual - though there was an update on the band’s page thanking everyone for ensuring the sellout so quickly. You liked it and then refreshed the page, sucking in a breath at the newest post. 

It was a video post from Ezra, sitting on what you recognized as his balcony. He’d taken the video himself, the man visible from the shoulders up. You didn’t waste any time in pressing play, eyes trained on the handheld screen. 

“Hello and good evening, everyone. I just wanted to take a few moments to express my unending gratitude to all of you.” He paused, tilting his head to one side and smiling. “When we announced this show, I hoped… well, I hoped that enough people would be interested that we could do some good for the people we care about and now, because of you?” He squinted, the angle of the phone changing enough so that part of his upper chest was visible, a V of skin showing thanks to the fact that he was wearing an unbuttoned undershirt. “We will be able to do that and more. So thank you. Thank all of you for your support.” He took a breath, nodding, and lifting the phone slightly higher. “You have no idea what it means to me.” There was another pause and then Ezra grinned, the smile lifting his cheeks and making your heart thud against your ribs. “We’ll see you very, very soon. I think you’ll like what we’re planning for you.” 

The video ended there, and even though it was only a minute or so old, there were already people interacting with it - hundreds of likes and more than a handful of comments. You double tapped the screen before you could stop yourself and then contemplated unliking it moments later. No, that would be weird. And then despite your better judgment, you looked through the comments. 

There were a few congratulating Ezra on the sellout, and a couple of people that had said that they were happy to see that he was looking healthier and happier. The majority of them were decidedly less PG, though - comments ranging from women offering to help keep Ezra healthy in a variety of ways to ones that were flat out obscene. But before you could get through them all, your screen went dark and then lit up again as a call came through. Ezra. 

Biting down on your lower lip, you answered, lifting your phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“Did you actually watch that video, or just hit the button without seeing what I had to say?” What? “It took me a couple tries to get a good one.” 

“Of course I watched it.” How did he know I liked it? “But -”

“But?” He hummed, the sound audible through the speaker. “But what?” 

“Ezra, you don’t follow me, so how did you even know?” He laughed then, but cut himself off a few seconds later, saying your name. 

“I saw your name pop up. I almost missed it, but I figured that you still might have your phone in your hand, so… I thought I’d call.” How did he see it? There were hundreds of other people. “And I was right.” Turning the stove off, you stepped away from it and then sat at the kitchen table, trying to come up with something to say. 

“You were.” It was a less than impressive reply, but it was the best you could do. “Congratulations on the show, Ezra. That’s got to feel amazing to know how excited people are to see you again.” 

“It does.” Ezra paused and then continued, his voice low. “That’s why I didn’t call sooner.” 

“You don’t need to explain. I wasn’t… I didn’t expect -”

“I know, but it’s the truth. We were trying to decide whether or not we wanted to move the show to a different venue, and I’ve been on the damn phone for hours yesterday and today. By the time I was done, I was exhausted, and I didn’t … I didn’t want to take that out on you.” 

“Hey, you said I’d hear from you soon, not immediately.” You felt a weight lift from your chest, the realization that Ezra wasn’t avoiding you a confirmation that you hadn’t realized that you needed. “You’re busy. I get it.” 

“I am. Or,” he went on, laughing again. “I was. Everything’s taken care of now.” Good. I’m glad to hear it. “Do you have plans tomorrow?” 

“No. Just work.” 

“My invitation stands. Want to come over? We can order dinner and then I can show you the studio.” You had no reason to say no. And I don’t want to. Taking a few seconds, you considered it - thoughts going back to the comments you’d read and the people that had left them before they skipped ahead to the fact that not even five minutes after posting that video - and presumably fulfilling an obligation that he felt he had to the general public, he’d called you. 

“I like the sound of that.” Pressing your lips together, you closed your eyes. “What time?” 

“After work. I’ll be here. Just let me know when you’re on your way.”  Telling him that you would, you stood up from the chair and then headed back for the stove, taking a deep breath. 

“Can I bring anything with me?” 

“Just yourself.” He said your name, the sound of it rolling off of his tongue. “That’s all I need.” 

— 

It was raining the following day, the sky full of gray clouds that showed no sign of clearing up as the hours passed.

You kept yourself busy, but you couldn’t help feeling more than a little nervous the later it got, your anticipation for the night growing along with the deepening dark outside. It’s just Ezra and dinner. We’ve done that before.  

It helped - a little - and as you shut your computer down for the weekend and said goodbye to Jillian, you felt your phone vibrate. It was a message from Cee, the girl’s words straight to the point. 

Ezra’s nervous about tonight. I just wanted to warn you that he might not be able to sing like he planned. 

Part of you was happy that he was nervous, too. But you were also upset that he didn’t feel as at ease as he should have about the night. Pausing in the lobby, you tapped your thumb on the screen, sighing. 

He has no reason to be nervous. I’m just coming over to see you guys and eat some food. Anything else that happens is a bonus. 

The message sent, you tucked your phone into your bag and zipped it, hurrying across the parking lot and to your car. 

Cee hadn’t responded by the time you got home, and the same was true after you’d changed out of your work clothes and into something better suited for hanging out in someone’s apartment for the night. Maybe she won’t. Staring into the mirror in your bathroom, you applied fresh makeup - mascara and eyeliner - before blotting over your nose and under your eyes with a little bit of powder. Not too much, but I just … I have to do something. 

After you brushed your teeth, you put on lip gloss, staring into the mirror for a few final seconds. 

You looked calm and focused - and that was enough for you. Grabbing your phone, you sent a message over to Ezra, asking if it was alright for you to head there. To your surprise, he replied within seconds, the message enough to get your feet moving toward the door. 

Of course. I’ll be waiting. 

Teeth closing around one knuckle, you fought back a smile. He might be nervous about the singing, but at least he’s not worried about seeing me. 

— 

She watches as Ezra paces around the living room, his left hand gripping his right bicep. Cee understands how anxious he is, but doesn’t think that he has any reason to be. What can I even say, though? 

There isn’t much, and she knows it, but she hates seeing him this way, especially when he shouldn’t be anything but excited for the night. Distract him. “Ezra, what are we having for dinner?” 

She stands, walking over to the balcony door and looking out at the rain, which has turned into a full-blown thunderstorm in the previous hour. It’s comforting, and she hopes that she can sleep with her window open later on, something that she could never do when she lived with Damon. 

“I don’t know.” He sighs, pausing in his motion and turns in her direction. “What do you want?” Cee thinks for a few seconds and then turns again, smiling. 

“Well, it’s coming down hard out there, so ordering a delivery is kind of an asshole move.” To her surprise, Ezra’s brows raise, the man’s nerves easing slightly. Good. This is good. “I know we eat there a lot, but the restaurant in the lobby is a good choice.” And it means we won’t have to wait a long time. “We can tell her what we like.” 

“We can.” Ezra steps forward, lowering his arm and shaking his head. “Birdie, you’re a lifesaver.” Cee grins and drops her chin, crossing her arms. 

“No, I’m just hungry.” He laughs at that and she’s glad to hear it, but before she can speak again, the entire room is illuminated by a flash of lightning, Ezra’s eyes darting away from her and toward the glass. 

“I should tell her not to come. It’s too dangerous for anyone to be driving right now.” Cee actually agrees, but hesitates before saying anything. Because I’m sure she’s on her way. And if he calls, she might answer, and it … 

She knows all too well how easy it is to get into an accident while driving, and knows that Ezra does, too. “She’ll be here soon, Ezra. And then by the time she’s ready to leave, the weather will be much better.” He’s torn and she knows it, but Ezra reluctantly nods in agreement, reaching up and running his hand through his hair. 

It’s wild that night, the dark brown locks twisting away from his head like they always do when he’s let them air dry, and for some reason, it makes Cee smile. It means he’s comfortable with her seeing him like this. His outfit says the same - a pair of dark jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, feet covered in only socks - and Cee hopes that whatever this is for the two of you, it’s only the beginning. Because he deserves it. 

There’s a knock on the door, the sound startling both of them, but before she can even move, Ezra’s already heading for it, his stride even. “Got it.” 

She doesn’t object, and even though she doesn’t look away, Cee lowers herself onto the couch, watching. “Hey, Ezra.” She hears your voice only seconds later, though Ezra’s position blocks you from view. “Sorry it took me so long, I… it’s really coming down out there.” 

“Not a problem,” he replies, the man’s reply quiet. “I’m glad you made it.” It’s a side of him that people rarely see, and Cee smiles at the absurdity of it. Ezra’s onstage persona is one thing, but the man at home and with friends is something else entirely, and sometimes it’s hard to remember that they’re both the same man. Wasn’t like that with Damon. She frowns, closing her eyes. He was the same no matter where he was or who he was with. “I thought about telling you not to come.” 

“I’m glad you didn’t.” She hears your voice again - louder, since you’re closer, and when Cee opens her eyes, she watches as you remove your rain-soaked jacket, only looking away from Ezra for long enough to find a place to hang it. “I have nothing in my house to make for dinner tonight, and there’s no way in Kevva’s name I’d make anyone drive food to me.” 

“See!” Cee stands, gesturing with one hand. “That’s exactly what I said!” You meet her eyes and smile, and Cee can see amusement in them, a silent thank you evident in their depths, too. “Luckily, we have a restaurant in the building, and Ezra and I have ordered enough off of the menu to be experts.” 

“Is that so?” You stick both hands on your hips, looking back at the man. “Well then I can’t wait to find out what’s worth trying.” 

— 

It doesn’t take long - the three of you pulling the menu up on your phones and both of them going over the things that they’ve eaten and liked, along with warning you of the few things that  they hadn’t enjoyed. 

But even as she goes through the menu, Cee doesn’t stop looking between you and Ezra and watching the glances that the two of you share. 

He didn’t tell her that anything happened between you after she’d left your house, but Cee knows that something did. She sees it in the way you lean closer to him, pointing at the menu on his screen. It’s clear in the way his eyes linger on your face while you look down, his lips curving upward into a genuine smile while when you bring up the dessert you shared the first time you visited the bar. 

She likes seeing Ezra happy and relaxed, and even though she knows there might be more difficult moments later when the decision about going into the studio needs to be made, she’ll take what she can get now. 

They make one large order, Cee handling the entire thing on her tablet, and once she’s placed it and gotten a delivery window, she darkens the screen. “Alright, it’s going to be an hour or so.” Sighing, Cee, stands. “What should we do until then?” 

“Whatever you guys want.” You shrug, shifting on the couch and meeting her eyes. “We can put the TV on, or I can tell you about the thrilling world of -”

“Ezra.” Cee sighs, flexing her fingers. “You should show her the apartment.” When he meets her eyes she sees apprehension in them, one side of his jaw twitching. “She’s seen out here, but she hasn’t seen the rest of it.” 

“Oh, I don’t -” But Ezra stops you with a shake of his head, the man swallowing hard before he turns away from Cee and looks at you. I either made a big mistake, or … 

“Now, I know that Birdie isn’t suggesting I show you my bedroom so early into the evening, so would you like to see the recording studio?” Cee can’t help it - she laughs at the matter of fact tone of his voice, leaning back against the cushions. 

“I… Ezra, sure.” You’re barely concealing your own laughter, but you nod, reaching out and settling a hand on Ezra’s knee. “Only if you want to, though.” 

She’s giving you an out where Cee didn’t, and even though she knows it might not have been the right thing to do, the girl doesn’t regret pushing Ezra into action. Because someone has to. And if I’m the one to do it, it won’t ruin… them. 

“Whether or not I use the studio tonight remains to be seen.” He stands, holding out his hand, and Cee’s breath catches as you take it, the man’s fingers closing around yours and squeezing. “But there’s no harm in showing it to you.” 

He glances over at her, and even though his expression is serious, Cee can see that Ezra isn’t mad at her. “What?”

“You made this suggestion, little bird, so it is only appropriate that you join us, is it not?” There’s no real way out of it and so Cee agrees, the girl standing, too. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be able to stay in the room, or what hearing Ezra’s voice through a microphone will make her feel, but the least she can do is agree to find out. 

“Lead the way, Ezra.” 

She follows the two of you down the hall and is pleased to see that he doesn’t let go of your hand until he needs to. “This is a small studio. I converted the bedroom so that when inspiration struck, I had the tools to capture anything I came up with.” 

Cee remembers the first time she saw the room - a desk with a computer and large monitor, microphones and headphones, a miniature keyboard, a set of speakers nicer than anything that she’d ever seen before… and Ezra’s guitar setup. It had impressed her - someone that had grown up around musicians, and she wonders what you’ll think of it. 

“I’ve seen pictures of it.” You nod your head and look at him, chewing on your lower lip. “You’ve posted them before.” 

“I have indeed.” His smile is large, the man’s teeth visible. “But I hope you like the real thing, too.” 

He pushes open the door and then gestures for you to enter, Ezra’s eyes moving away from you and landing on her, Cee’s only response a small nod and a frown, her own apprehension growing. 

Damon’s equipment had been in the room immediately following the accident, but once Ezra was released from the hospital, he’d rented out a small storage space, moving that equipment along with the tour gear that hadn’t been ruined into it. That change made it easier for Cee to stay in the apartment, and as she follows the two of you into the small space, she finally lets out a long breath. This is fine. 

It’s not as overwhelming as she imagines it will be, and even though she listens as Ezra points out his equipment, Cee is only halfway paying attention. Instead, she’s focused on the rack of guitars along one wall, her eyes moving between them before they land on his desk, the computer monitor dark. There’s a picture of the band there too, the small frame showing Ezra, Damon and Number Two, and with a quiet gasp, Cee realizes it’s one that she took, early on in the tour. 

It’s not the first time she’s seen Damon’s face since the accident, but for the first time, she feels genuine anger at the sight of him. If you hadn’t been selfish, we wouldn’t be here now. The girl’s jaw clenches, her eyes locked on the way all three men are smiling at the camera - at her - surrounded by their equipment during a load-in. You ruined everything. 

“And this is where all of my earliest recordings go.” Ezra is standing next to her, and with some shock, Cee registers that he’s squeezing her hand, the man’s thumb sweeping over her palm. “Unfinished versions of songs, chord progressions I don’t want to forget, the recitation of lyrics before they’ve found their permanent homes.” He squeezes her hand hard and then lets go, leaning forward to power the device on. “I keep pictures around for inspiration. You can see the one there, of us on the most recent tour.” He reaches up and behind the framed picture, pulling out a small photo album. “This is filled with memories of other tours and album recording sessions.” 

Ezra flips the book open, and Cee’s eyes - along with yours - are drawn to the glossy images contained within the pages, snapshots of things that she was both present and absent for. It’s a journey through Ezra’s career over the years. “You look so young.” You reach out and point at one of the pictures, laughter in your voice. “How old is this one?”

“Recording the first album.” Cee smiles at his reply, glancing over to watch as Ezra sighs. “Almost ten years ago.” She barely remembers him from back then, but there’s photographic proof - her, tiny and blonde, hair twisted into pigtails and peeking in from the corner of the picture. For the first time, Cee wonders how much you know, how deep into Ezra and The Fringe’s past you’ve delved - if you know that Damon helped to write music for the first album, even though he wasn’t part of the band. 

But the computer screen flickering from the lock screen to Ezra’s desktop makes Cee gasp, one hand rising to cover her mouth. “Ezra, when -”

“Right after we got home, Birdie.” He lays his hand on her shoulder then, his fingers tightening. “It was a good one, and there are so few of us recently.” She leans in, eyeing the picture that has been set as his desktop background, and all at once, Cee’s throat tightens before she can swallow and her eyes squeeze shut, her grip on the edge of the desk tight. I remember when this was taken. 

“It’s a good picture.” You speak up, though you’re still quiet. “From the last tour, I take it?” 

“Mmhmm.” Ezra’s answering hum is short, but he continues as Cee fights to catch her breath. “From the final night, actually. Just before we pulled out of the parking lot.” She hears your gasp, fighting to keep one of her own from escaping, and then Cee forces her eyes open. “Number Two… Luke took it with my phone.” 

When Cee looks at the picture again, she’s calmer, her lips even managing a brief smile as he explains the story behind the image to you. She’s standing halfway behind him in it, both hands raised behind his head, her fingers sticking up as though he’s got horns. She’s smiling - Ezra’s eyes partway closed, his mouth open in laughter and her nose wrinkled, some of the band’s gear behind them. Most of it was already loaded into the trailer but there were still a few cases stacked and waiting. 

Cee vividly remembers that night and everything about it - except for the minutes she’d fallen asleep in the backseat. “I didn’t know you made that your background, Ezra.” She stares over at him, her eyes wide. “I didn’t even know you had it. I thought it was on Luke’s phone.” 

“I did, and I do.” He shrugs, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Surprise.” She understands - it’s a reminder of the tour and the happiness they’d all experienced while on it, and yet another example of the relationship that she’d built with the man acting as her surrogate father. Not only does he have pictures of me like I’m important to him, he has one that he sees every time he turns on his computer. 

“Wait.” She turns to him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Ezra, if you set this picture as your wallpaper…” Cee trails off, her heart pounding in her chest. “And you did it after we got home, then…” 

“Yes?” He’s amused - the lift of one brow and the smirk on his face both indications that he knows exactly what she’s about to say. Or that he has an idea. “Little bird?”

“That means you’re using the recording software, which means you aren’t just coming in here and singing into the mic. It means -”

“It does.” Ezra wets his lips, nodding. “A few times, I’ve … I’ve tried. And I’ve recorded some vocals, but it…” She can’t stop herself from moving forward and wrapping her arms around him, the girl burying her face into his chest. “Cee, what are -”

“You’re going to be OK, Ezra.” It’s a relief to know that even though she hasn’t actually seen or heard him using the studio, he’s found time to do so, no matter how short the sessions. “Kevva, that makes me happy.” 

When she pulls away from him, she sees that you’ve taken a few steps backward, eyes scanning the room as you give them their space. No, that’s not how this is supposed to go. Cee nods up at Ezra and then makes a face, tipping her chin subtly in the direction that you’ve moved off in. Pay attention to her, Ezra. “I will be alright. We both will be.” Ezra clears his throat and then moves away from Cee, saying your name as he turns. “What do you think?”

“I think…” You’re leaning against one wall, and Cee focuses on you, her hands stuffed into her pockets. “I think this is impressive. And I think that it’s really strange to see your guitars up close, Ezra, after only seeing them in pictures and onstage for so long.” You glance over at the rack of instruments and then meet Ezra’s eyes again. “There are a lot of them.” 

“Well…” He starts, straightening up and letting his shoulders drop back, his attention entirely on you. “Maybe after we eat, we can come back in here and you can get a closer look.” Your eyes widen at his suggestion and then you smile, agreeing. Good. This is perfect. This is… great. 

He still might not end up singing, but the fact that Ezra wants you back in his space is meaningful - and offering you the opportunity to take a closer look at the guitars is even moreso. I won’t come back in. Not tonight. Cee looks between the two of you, making up her mind. Tonight they can spend time in here by themselves. 

— 

As the three of you waited for the food to be brought up, Ezra attempted to keep himself calm. 

It had nothing to do with you being in the apartment; that wasn’t the issue. It didn’t even have anything to do with the idea of turning on the microphone and booting up the recording software so that he could practice a few songs in front of an audience of two. 

His anxiety was due to the fact that from the moment you’d walked into the converted bedroom studio, he’d been at ease. 

He could count the number of people that weren’t in the business that had been in the studio on his remaining hand, and even then, he wouldn’t have needed all of his available fingers. The studio was his space, somewhere that he knew that he could go to get away from everything and everyone, and despite the fact that he was attracted to you, you were still a stranger. 

It shouldn’t have felt that way. He swiped a hand through his hair, watching as you and Cee talked about something, the girl’s phone held between you so that you could both see the screen. So why did it? 

He’d invited you over - and he’d meant it, but he’d expected a feeling of apprehension from the moment he’d opened the door that would last until you’d exited the room again … and it hadn’t happened. 

Watching your face as you looked around the room had been a revelation to him; the man’s eyes focused on the way you looked but didn’t get too close until he’d encouraged you to, the way your eyes brightened at the sight of the guitars on the wall and on the rack. Despite the fact that he’d trusted you enough to invite you into his space, he’d expected the same type of thing that he’d gotten used to from others that got a closer look at his career. And she didn’t do it. She just … 

“Ezra?” You said his name, leaning in, and he realized that Cee had risen and was heading for the door. “Where do you want to eat?” One corner of your mouth rose in a half smile before you lifted a thumb to your lips, biting down on the nail. “Food’s here, and -”

“Here is fine.” He gestured in front of himself and at the low table. “That way we can share.” You nodded and then stood, too, looking back at him over your shoulder. 

“Cee asked me to get drinks. Is there anything that you want?” Instead of answering, Ezra pushed himself to his feet and gestured that he’d follow you, the man eyeing Cee as she spoke to the employee at the door. He recognized the woman, smiling at the realization that you probably had at least a few minutes before the conversation was concluded, and stepped even closer to you. 

“I may only have one hand, but I can still help.” Humming out a laugh, you stopped in front of the refrigerator and then turned enough to face him. 

“I know you can, Ezra. But you looked like you were lost in thought, so -” I was. “So we didn’t want to interrupt.” 

He didn’t even try and stop himself from reaching for you then, his fingers closing around your wrist and then tugging you closer, your lips parting in surprise as you held a hand out to steady yourself against his chest. “You wouldn’t have interrupted anything.” He spoke quietly, eyes locked with yours. “We didn’t get a chance to say hello earlier, did we?” 

“No.” Your eyes dropped to his mouth briefly, fingers curling against his shirt. “We didn’t.” Pushing his uncertainty about his lack of reaction to your presence in the studio to the side, Ezra leaned in and closed the final distance between you. 

It was a soft kiss - gentle, because both of you knew that it had to be brief. But it lasted long enough for you to settle your free hand on his hip, Ezra releasing your wrist to slide his palm up your arm. He backed off first - slowly - your lower lip trapped between both of his. I could get used to this. 

He had the thought almost instantaneously as he opened his eyes again, the man standing up straight. “Ezra, I …” He barely heard you, the man’s heartbeat thudding in his ears, but he registered that you hadn’t moved either of your hands - and his was still settled on your bicep. “You -

“Uh, guys?” He whipped his head to the side, the sound of Cee’s voice louder than it usually was. “Look, I don’t want to interrupt, but we’ve got a lot of food here, and you’re kind of blocking the refrigerator, so…” Shit. He groaned but you laughed, stepping back and turning so that you could reach for the door handle. “Bring napkins, too. There aren’t many in these bags.” 

“What do you want, Ezra?” You were leaning forward, one hand inside of the fridge. “Beer? There’s a bottle of wine in here, too. Water, and …” You trailed off as he reached past you, his fingers closing around the neck of one of the beer bottles as his chest made contact with your side. “Oh… Beer. Alright. Can I have one of those, too?” 

“Of course you can.” Straightening back up, Ezra cleared his throat. “There’s a bottle opener next to the sink, too.” Murmuring a reply, he turned back toward the living room, where Cee was busily unpacking the bags of food and arranging containers on the table. 

As he approached, she looked up and grinned at him, pausing long enough to give him a double thumbs up and a wink. Yeah, yeah. I deserve that. Cee finished what she was doing and then plopped down onto the chair he’d been sitting on before, ensuring that you’d need to sit next to him. I should have known. He set his bottle down and kept watching the girl, teeth worrying the inside of his lower lip. 

You made it into the room a minute or so later, setting down a stack of napkins before you held out Cee’s drink. She took it from you with a quiet thanks, popping the tab on the can, and Ezra’s attention went back to you. 

“This smells amazing.” Taking a seat, you opened your beer. “Here, Ezra, hold this for me?” You handed him the bottle and then reached for the one he’d left on the table, opening it and then raising the neck to your lips, taking a drink. “Damn, that’s good.” That was … He scoffed, closing his eyes. Smooth. Like something that I’d do. 

It was a small thing, but he felt a wave of affection for you at the simple gesture. Instead of calling attention to the fact that he’d need someone to help him open the bottle, you’d addressed and acted on it in the same motion. And she’s done it before, too. 

“Thank you.” You didn’t need the acknowledgement, and he knew it, but someone being so proactive about his needs without making it big deal was almost a novelty to Ezra. He cleared his throat and picked up his bottle, taking a drink, too. Think about this later. Enjoy dinner. “So.” Setting the beer back down, he gestured to the spread in front of you. “We have a lot of food here, and I can promise you that everything is delicious.” 

“Yeah. You have to try it all.” Cee spoke up, the girl already chewing on one of the breadsticks. “Take as much as you want, OK? We’re never going to finish it all.” Laughing, you agreed, reaching for one of the plates and then immediately going for one of the covered dishes. 

“You don’t need to tell me twice, Cee. I’m really hungry.” 

— 

Dinner went smoothly, the three of you eating more of the food than you’d thought you would. Cee had no inhibitions when it came to enjoying the meal, the girl refilling her plate twice and then reaching for the little bit of pasta that remained in the container and finishing that off, too. 

And Ezra was the same, the man’s plate clearing slower than yours or Cee’s, just due to the way he had to eat with only one hand. But he was animated throughout the meal, telling stories about himself and about places he’d been, Cee chiming in occasionally and reminding him of something that he’d then elaborate on. 

You’d already eaten in front of Ezra twice, and so you had no reason to act shy about it that time, either. You were sure to try almost everything on the table, agreeing with Cee that the one sauce was better than the other, and then with Ezra that you preferred breaded to grilled, but the meal itself was an enjoyable one. 

But even though you had a good meal, the minutes you’d spent in the studio still weighed heavily on your mind, as did the kiss you’d shared with Ezra in front of the refrigerator. 

Walking into the studio had been an experience for you, your eyes finding and immediately settling on equipment that you were very familiar with. The memories of Ezra holding the guitars or singing into the microphones were vivid, and you tried your best to keep from letting it show. Don’t act like an asshole. 

You wanted to reach out and touch the instruments, wanted to step up closer and take in the dings and scratches on the guitar bodies, to see if you could tell which of the acoustics he favored based on how worn the frets were and where the body was smooth from the slide of his arm over the curved edge. 

You didn’t, though, even though you didn’t know if that would be the only opportunity you got to see the instruments up close. By the time he was flipping through the photo album, you were happier with your decision. Ezra seemed much more at ease with you in the room than Cee had made it seem like he’d be, and you didn’t want to ruin that. 

Their interaction in the studio was the tense one, the girl’s surprise at the sight of both main pictures a surprise to her that you’d tried hard to stay out of. It has to be strange for her. You watched them hug, though you focused elsewhere, and when you were back in the main room, you and Cee sitting on the couch while Ezra took the comfortable chair, the tension was gone. 

By the time the food arrived, it felt like the three of you were old friends, and even though Ezra’s attention had drifted, the man’s attention on the rain-streaked glass of the balcony doors, it wasn’t a cold silence. And Cee and I have been just fine. 

You hadn’t expected him to follow you into the kitchen, but you were happy that he had - the man’s presence just behind you almost magnetic in the way you attuned yourself to it without pause. 

The kiss had been a shock, Ezra’s fingers closing around your wrist and urging you closer. When he’d encouraged you to hold onto him, you’d stopped thinking and just let yourself react. It seemed like that was what he’d wanted, and you’d been ready to make a comment on it before Cee’s interruption. That came at the right time, though. 

Ezra was intense, and if the girl hadn’t spoken up, you didn’t know what would have happened. Another kiss at least. He hadn’t seemed embarrassed by getting caught, and that was confirmed when, while you ate, he reached over to touch you occasionally. Ezra’s hand fell to land on your knee between bites, the man’s elbow jabbing gently into your side a few times as you joked with them.

It was still raining hard as you and Cee started to clean up the remnants of your dinner, the girl insisting that Ezra stay where he was. “You’re paying, Ezra. The least we can do is put away the leftovers.” You snorted at that but only shrugged your shoulders in response as he rolled his eyes, the man watching as you stacked up empty containers. 

When you met Cee in the kitchen, she thanked you, pointing to the cupboard where the trash can was. “Do you want another beer, Ezra? I’m in here, and I can bring it to you before -”

“Sure.” He leaned forward, nodding. “But I can come get it myself.”

“She’ll bring it to you, Ezra.” Cee spoke up from behind you, sighing. “There’s not much left to put away. I’ve got it.” Wait, no. That’s … 

“Cee, I can help.” She shook her head though, jutting her chin out and toward the other room. 

“Just go.” She dropped her voice, turning the water on a little higher to muffle the sound further. “He’s in a good mood. Go spend time with him.” I… You wanted to, but also felt horrible leaving her with the cleanup. “Go. This is nothing, it’ll take five minutes.” She smiled at you, using the back of one hand to swipe at her cheek. “I’m serious.” 

You didn’t argue, instead returning to the refrigerator and grabbing two more bottles before heading back to where Ezra still sat. Repeating the opening process without speaking, you held a bottle out to him, a flash of lightning illuminating his features as he took it from you. “Did you still want to hear me sing?” 

You settled back onto the couch cushions, turning your head to stare at him. “That’s not why I came over here, Ezra, but …” You sipped your beer, giving yourself a few extra seconds. “But yeah. I’d like that.” He blinked slowly, studying your face. “Only if you want to, though.” 

He took a few seconds to think but then Ezra nodded, the expression on his face changing to one of determination. “I do. I want to sing for you.” For me? That’s… that’s a different … Your heart pounding, you nodded back and then averted your eyes, taking a long drink of your beer. “Cee?” Ezra stood, lowering the hand holding his bottle to one side. “We’re going to go into the studio and get things set up. When you’re done, come in and -”

“Not tonight, Ezra.” You followed him to the hallway, pausing next to the man as he turned back toward the kitchen. Cee was still by the sink, the water running - but she was looking back over her shoulder at where you stood. “I don’t… think I’m ready.” 

Part of you expected him to push back, but Ezra didn’t, only humming in quiet agreement and saying your name under his breath. He reached for you, the tips of his fingers brushing your elbow, and then headed for the open doorway of he studio room, you following only a few steps behind.

“Close the door behind you.” He spoke when you were both inside, the man setting his bottle down onto the desktop before he turned to face you. “The soundproofing only works when it’s shut.” 

You did as he asked, and when you heard the click, you sucked in a breath. It’s just us. We’re… oh, shit. You didn’t know what to say - or what Ezra would say, and so you chewed on your lower lip for a few seconds, waiting. Say something. Don’t make this weird. It’s… it shouldn’t feel weird. “Did you do all this yourself, or did someone come in and do it for you?” 

“That’s a good question.” He smiled, tilting his head to one side. “I hired someone to soundproof it, because I wanted to be sure it was done right.” He paused, eyes on your face. “I thought my neighbors would appreciate it.” 

“I’m sure they do.” He laughed, finally looking away from you and turning to face the computer. 

“There’s a stool in the closet behind you, if you want to grab that.” You did as he told you, opening the door and gasping at what was hanging inside. That’s the jacket he … You couldn’t help it - reaching forward and letting your fingers trail over the weathered material. It was softer than you thought, the wrinkled material hanging limply before your eyes. “You can take that out and look at it if you want.” 

Freezing, you swore under your breath and then winced, pulling your hand away as though it had been burned. “Ezra, I didn’t mean to -”

“No, I mean it.” He sighed. “I haven’t looked at that in months. I need to, though. Because I’ll need to put it back on very soon.” He told me to take it out, so… 

With trembling fingers, you reached for the hanger and pulled the jacket out and into the light of the room, your eyes never leaving the fabric you held. “You’ve worn this to start every show, right?” Glancing up to see his response, you smiled at his nod. “It’s crazy that it’s just … here. I didn’t…” 

“I’ve had that since before I started writing music. Was wearing it the first time I ever played live.” He stepped closer to you, the man’s hand reaching out so that he too could run his fingers over the surface of the jacket - one thumb swiping along the seam in front of the shoulder where the light quilted material joined the fawn-colored leather. “I figured that if it brought me good fortune once, it would do it again.” 

And it had - the jacket had become just as popular as the man himself, one of the best-selling pieces of merchandise a replica hooded sweatshirt that you’d contemplated buying more times than you cared to admit. “I love this jacket, Ezra. But…” Frowning, you twisted the hanger in your hand. “I didn’t know there was a hood.” 

“It’s detachable.” He grinned, stepping even closer and reaching past you - much like he had in the kitchen. “It makes no sense to wear it onstage because if I had it up, I wouldn’t be able to see a damn thing.” He laughed. “Let me have it.” 

You unzipped the jacket and then handed it to him, the man surprising you by slipping it on and then flipping the hood up in one smooth motion. And you had to laugh, too, as the material settled low over his eyes. “Yeah, that would make playing guitar pretty hard.” 

“It would.” Ezra took a deep breath, the man’s chin dropping as he looked down at where his right arm would have been. “Feels a little different to have it on now.” 

“Still looks just a good on you, though.” Reaching forward, you brushed your fingers over the tattered patch on the sleeve. “And you know it.” His gaze rose then, the man eyeing you from beneath the hood, and without even giving yourself a second to overthink, you reached for him, sliding one hand beneath the coat and against his side. 

He reached up with his hand, pushing the hood back, and then Ezra kissed you again - and there was nothing timid about that one. You tightened your hold on him, sighing against his lips and then Ezra’s hand was on the back of your neck, stroking slowly over the warm skin there. 

There was no interruption, and when he parted his lips, urging yours to do the same, you let it happen, inhaling through your nose and placing the hand still holding onto the hanger against his lower back. The tip of his tongue teased the fullest part of your lower lip and at that, you let out a quiet whimper, your fingers curling against his side. 

That was all he needed, the man pulling back long enough to inhale, and then his mouth was on yours again, the kiss deep from the very beginning. And I want it. I want this. I want… Ezra’s grip on your neck changed, the man urging your head to a slight angle, and once that was done, it was his turn to groan, the man’s tongue stroking along yours with fervor. 

It was the most physical things had gotten between you, and you could feel the desire pouring off of him as he shifted even closer, Ezra not even trying to hide how much he was enjoying himself. But I am, too. Pressing your body against his, you hummed when Ezra backed off enough to drag his teeth over your kiss-swollen lower lip, his grip going lax. “Ezra…” 

Your voice was quiet and vaguely needy, and at the sound of it, Ezra sighed, smiling. “I’m not going to apologize for that because I’m not at all sorry.” He pressed his lips to yours again - briefly - and then stepped backwards, taking another deep breath. “But you didn’t come in here so that I could have my way with you. You’re here to hear me -”

“I’m not complaining.” At all. That was … Kevva that was … Laughing nervously, you covered your mouth with one hand, head shaking from side to side. “Ezra, that -”

“Later.” He licked his lips, nodding. “For now…” He shrugged the jacket off and then held it back out to you. “Put this away for me and let me get my microphone set up.” Taking a deep breath, Ezra glanced over at the computer. “And think about what you’d like to hear me sing.” 

—

Tag list reblog coming soon! 

[harrysmimi]

Dress

Synopsis: One where Harry and YN go from Friends to lovers

More of my work

"Your girlfriend was here the other day and she said that you jumped out of window again, is that true?" Howard Stern asked Harry, "is that you have a bandage on your hand again?"

Harry looked at the man puzzled, even though he knew who the man was talking about. It was annoying for many different reasons, and most annoying one was that he doesn't have a girlfriend.

"YN, your girlfriend." Howard explained.

"She's my best friend, Howard," Harry corrected him, "and no, I almost jumped off a window but she stopped me. This is from injury. I, uhh, I was filming the new Eternals. Had a bit of a surgery done."

Harry was pissed the whole interview because Howard kept calling YN his girlfriend.

As much as he wants it to be true, he doesn't think it ever will be.

A bit of a back story, YN and Harry met at Brits back in 2019. She was there to perform and took home almost all of the major categories. He even presented her with one award himself. He had just gotten to see her perform at Grammy's where she took all major categories home as well. This time around he got to talk to her.

He has always been smitten by her since she first blew up in media. YN's former Miss World. And he didn't know why, he kept up with the pageant that year. To add to it, she was his favourite contestant even. So being able to present her with an achievement she deserved so much and worked so hard for was like a fan-boy moment for him.

He then got to meet her at the after party, they were joint to the hip that night. Their friendship only grew from there and so did his feelings for her. From infatuation it went to crush, to likeness and now he thinks he's really in love with her.

Good lord, they've been friends for almost four years! That's more than enough time for him to fall for her.

He also couldn't bring himself to speak his feelings to her. He can't live this anymore. Until, he went and fucked it all up.

No, quite literally.

They both drunkenly hooked up in a bathroom of his hotel room after her three time platinum album party two weeks ago ago. They both haven't talked since then. YN was called right in the morning urgently and none of them to sit down and talk about their drunk shenanigans.

To be fair, both of them are on tour. He shouldn't have been drinking when he had to go on tour in two days, and so did her when she had a show the very next day. From that very next, it have been interviews and shows for her, and constant travel for him.

He tried to call her but she's busy and when calls him back, he's busy. It isn't just working out and it's eating him inside out. He just want to talk to her that's all. He feels guilty because he remembers everything, he just hopes she does too and doesn't regret it in anyway.

......................................................................

He didn't get to talk to her for whole two weeks. He was on tour. She's busy with recording another one of her Album.

It's been nothing but small talk. And it's bothering him.

He gets to see her today on her last show. He just got in time when her sound check was almost done at the Madison Square Garden. She was checking the visuals of the show with her manager and her producer at the very back of the pit.

"Can we have Ezra's guitar a two notches louder, please?" She spoke in her sparkly microphone asking to make her lead guitarists sound a little bit up. "Yup that's perfect!" She handed the mic to producer and her manager had something to say to her in instant as Harry was about to approach her.

But YN quickly excused herself and sprinted towards him at the entrance, in five inch heels she wore to practice in for her performance. He still couldn't fathom how she can run in those, but his thoughts were put on a hault as she jumped up on him with her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his hips tightly, her face buried in his neck. If it weren't for his fast reflexes they would have both fallen down on the hard ground. But he wrapped one his arm around her waist and other under her bum to keep her supported. And before he could say anything else when she finally lifted her head up to look at him. Her lips were on his.

He was taken back. But so was she as she immediately pulled back again, "I'm so sorry!" He carefully placed her back on her feet, she stood almost as tall as him with her heels. He pulled in for another kiss with her hand behind her neck now. A sweet quick peck.

He didn't know he missed her so much that he remembered how she tasted. "I missed you so much!" She hugged him again when he pulled away this time.

"I missed you too, baby." He held her tightly close to her.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" She asked.

"No, I'm just confused." He admitted.

"YN come on, chop chop." YN's manager called for her interrupting Harry. She had no opening act for tonight as she had released a new album last night and she'll be performing for three hours and forty-five minutes there. With a new album, it only added to the pile of six other albums of her. But this was only her third English language album. They would start letting people in next ten minutes.

Her manager wasn't being rude, the lady loved Harry like her son. She just wants YN to be safe as people start coming in. And she also had to get ready.

"I'm sorry." She looked at him with sad puppy eyes, "I feel so bad we didn't even get to talk." She was on urge of crying.

"I know." He cooed, "it's okay. I promise. It's a big day, I don't want you to be anxious. I promise we'll sit down and talk after this, yeah?"

"Okay." She nodded.

"I'll be here when you come back, we're leaving together." He assured her. "Now give me a kiss before you go back." And she did.

Giving him a last squeeze she ran off to the backstage. Harry went back to the VIP standing area. He just hopes she's not anxious.

She tends to get very anxious and shut down. Full on pass out black when she's anxious. It's scary for him. Especially when he had encountered her that way not once but twice. He didn't realise YN's family had started to show up. She had a few relatives in New York plus her own parents and older and little siblings.

"You know there is going to be a secret guest tonight." One of the twin sister spoke.

"Yeah, she won't tell me about it!"

"Harry, do you know who that us?" The ten year old walked upto him, followed by her twin.

Harry has grown to love these kids, YN's affection and adoration for these little girls have rubbed off on him. Especially when that was all she talked about for first few months after they first become friends. She loved her little sisters with her life.

"I don't know darling, who do you think that is going to be?" He asked, holding both their hands back as he walked them to a side as the crew moved around.

He had a nice chat with both of them. They gave him the little birthday cards they made him as they missed his birthday this year. They ever made him a drawing each.

Now Harry wondered who the surprise guest is going to be. He can think of only three people at that time.

......................................................................

Harry danced with the twins as YN came on the stage well to halfway through the show. But the girls went to go get their sugary drinks leaving him alone.

He took the opportunity to admire her for that time. She wore a black dress sith puffy sleeves which hemed just above her knees, with her black tights and black heeled boots she wore earlier. The sweet heart neckline of her dress showed her collarbone, where he remembered leaving a very very in-your-face hickey drunkenly. Maybe she had covered it up or it might have healed.

Yeah, she might have covered it because her mother would kicked her and his ass at the same time. Her mother's very religious for context. And YN's mum is a softie but can be very intimidating.

It was a mother's day show. He wouldn't want YN's mum to be upset. Especially when he knows she have practically adopted him into her family. Maybe like a little lost puppy but she adores him.

It was complete one-eighty from her usually, grafic t-shirts and baggy jeans.

She looks gorgeous none the less. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her there. He shouldn't be looking at anyone else but it was obvious he's oogling at her. Just until the twins interrupted him offering him a Cool-aid.

The lights went down as YN finished her first Grammy winning song. Just a spot light on the elevator downstage.

Our secret moments in your crowded room

Taylor Swift herself rose up on the stage as she sung. Harry almost choked on his drink.

He thought YN only joked about bringing her girl crush who ironically is his ex on the stage with her. But she actually did it.

They got no idea about me and you

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

Taylor sang as she walked upto YN beaming. As YN sang the chorus.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

It felt theatrical, with YN's amazing band and insanely  talented background vocalists. With the most genius lyricist, and in YN's glory. It was truly magical. YN's sister were going feral on the side. Sobbing by now.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Both of the girls sang together. Taylor singing in beautiful harmonies with YN.

Then it hit him there. He froze as YN sung the next verse. Standing closer on the side of stage where he stood.

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

And he knew exactly what she was talking about. Not her words but they held different meaning for both of them now.

His fans already hated her enough, thinking she's using him for fame. But little did they knew, she's more known than he is. And the narrative can be flipped around on him by YN's fans who are double and scarier. But they never di that. Because of YN.

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

His jaw dropped for a moment. That's exactly what happened. It was nothing new for both of them to hang out, but this time she just felt like taking a bath. Harry supported her by running her a bath as she continued to get shit faced straight from a bottle of wine she picked up from the party.

He initiated it, in her defence. But she was as guilty as he he was.

Afterall, it takes two to Tango!

But it was also true, no one knew about their secret hang outs. They both practically lived together on their off months. Sharing a bed., Sharing their clothes, fighting over little disagreements then making up by bringing one another's favourite food. All of the cuddles all of the secrets they shared with one another, all of the vulnerable moments, which made their friendship that much stronger and every doubted like they every single detail about them.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

YN sang as Taylor joined her in.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Both the girls flirted with one another as they both sang the chorus outro.

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Taylor took on from here. YN stood there fangirling, singing the bridge her lung off without ber mic. The crowd was too loud so she blended right in.

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times

You could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies

You saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this ah, ha, ha, ha

YN sang the next line.

Say my name and everything just stops

And lights went down again. Pitche black. As the light came back on, Taylor's outfit was changed making the crowd go even more feral.

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

The girls had their best time singing together.

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

You made your mark on me, golden tattoo

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

And they ended the song singing one line at a time.

"Give it up for Doctor Taylor Swift everyone!" YN hyped up the crowd. Harry clapped and cheered as well. "Thank you so much for joining us here tonight. And thank you Taylor for joining us tonight. This took, so, so, so long to happen. Tonight is extra, extra special to me. Because it mother's day, and my Mummy is in the crowd."

The crowd cheered up, "and also we had to bring The Mother herself with us tonight." Taylor laughed as she grabbed her guitar from the crew member. "No seriously Taylor, this is my fangirl moment right here. And can't tell you how much this means to me. Have been you fan since I was seven, since Tim McGraw." YN grabbed her guitar well as the girls walked up to the middle stage on the catwalk. They both perched up their mic on the stand.

Taylor started strumming the guitar as she introduced her first ever song which gave boost to her career.

They both then sang more of her songs, like Clean, I Knew You Were Trouble, Delicate, and of course, Out Of The Wolds and Style.

Harry knew YN still wasn't going to leave his ass. She would tease him all the time. And it actually became reality tonight.

The show still went on until YN closes out with one of her party songs. And ran down the stage. Harry and YN's family was escorted backstage.

She was immediately greeted by her little sisters. And then her mum.

Harry stood back, mainly for two reasons, her family was going back home immediately and he was still scared of her mum. He promised her that they'll talk later anyway. Though it was super hard not to just kiss her right there.

YN bid her family bye as their car left. Her and Harry got into one car.

"That amazing. You killed it!" Harry hyped her up as she sat back and relaxed.

......................................................................

Back at YN's hotel room, the first thing she did was took off her boots as Harry shut the door behind him.

"Should I bring out the wine again?" He teased her and he pinned her against the wall.

"I don't think we need that right now." She answered, "I'm all sweaty stop."

"Like I haven't seen the worse of you." He scoffed but leaned down to button his mouth on hers in a delicate kiss, making her melt like an ice cube on a hot summer day. She now stood shorter than him with her heels off.

"I could really use a large pizza and a hot shower right now, please?" She suggested when he pulled away feeling her tummy growl.

"Yeah? I'll order us one." He offered as the walked into her room. "You want to put on our show?"

"No, I just want a quiet night." She shared as she picked out a change of clothes from her luggage. She was believer of not unpacking because she found it too tedious.

"Don't you want me to take off that dress of your." He walked up closer to her behind as he teased her. "Hey, is that my shirt?" Harry noticed making her take a run to the bathroom, "hey, come out here you little thief!" But the door was slammed on his face.

By the time YN was back from her shower, the fold had arrived. Harry ordered two pizzas for both of them and a few bottles of water and cut mixed fruits for dessert. He knows she isn't going to share because she gets so hungry after her shows as she doesn't like to eat before. And he was hungry too!

They both cuddled up in her bed under the sheets as it was getting quite cold. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He placed a kiss on her temple. "Do you want to talk about the night we had sex?"

"Yeah." She nodded taking a bite of her pizza. "Did it mean anything to you?"

"Everything." He admitted, "you?"

"Mhmm. I couldn't focus on anything after. I was so scared that you'd be mad because I had to run out." She shared.

"But you woke me up, didn't you?" She did. She did woke him up telling him that her manager and the tour manager had to talk to her about one of the band member falling sick, and they had to look for someone new for the night. It was urgent, and only YN knew who were those people, because the girl made connections everywhere she went.

YN's a completely different human when it some to her work and her personal life.

And then later he got called for work and things went down hill from there. At least for two weeks.

"I did but that still didn't help." She glanced at him once.

"Yeah? Tell me about it baby." He urged her gently. He wants to know how she feels too.

"No, how about you go first?"

"Okay." He admitted, "you know I'm going to be honest and tell you I've always been smitten by you." He let her eat in peace he spoke, she's listening to him he knows. And he does not lime to interrupt her eating, not wanting to trigger her in anyway. "The night we met and talked was a fangirl moment for me. I don't know when we came best friends and I fell for you. It was scary, you know how bad I had to keep these feelings to myself knowing I won't be able to, thinking I might loose one of my only closest best friend."

"Do you regret it?" She asked, finally looking up at him, "us having sex that night?"

"Gosh no, I could never!" He exclaimed softly as he rested his forehead on hers, "could never. I was dying to kiss you and you hold that way." He pulled back, "do you regret it."

"No!" She exclaimed as well, "I guess I have always been stupid because I don't even know when fell for you. I've known it for a long time. But I had the same fear."

"You did?"

"Hmm." She nodded and leaned back into cuddles with him.

"I'm so glad our feels are mutual here, because I love you so much, I don't know if I can go a day without you knowing that." He confessed.

"You're not going let me have cuddle in peace." She made a puppy face she lifted her head up to kiss him again, "I love you too! So much!"

He chuckled, "come back here." He pulled her in again. That's when he saw the fading hickey just above her right collarbone. The shirt wore was bug on him, it was pretty evident it was almost falling off of her shoulders.

They ate their late dinner in silence until they were done. Harry threw away the boxes in trash before she slipped back in bed with her. He made sure to bring the mixed fruits bowl with him.

"You full now?" He asked cautiously, "you want fruit for dessert?" She's been doing so well lately.

Harry had suggested she goes to therapy but she never felt like it, which, fair enough. He's been trying his best to offer her any help he can. And it's working. But he hopes one day she feels comfor enough to get some professional help.

"Oh I'd love to!" She nodded. He let her pick out her favourites and ate the rest. "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"What are we now?" She asked.

"Hmm..." He sounded again but as if he's thinking, "I think we should be Girlfriend bestie and Boyfriend bestie."

"You need to delete Tiktok and Instagram off your phone." YN laughed as she took a sip from her water.

"I'm serious, I want to be your boyfriend." He said, rather firmly.

"And I want to be your girlfriend." She mocked his tone earning a few soft laughs from him. He placed a firm kiss on her mouth.

"I love you."

"I love you."

Of course they had much more to talk about. But YN fell asleep on him there, holding onto him tight.

It's nothing new them, but Harry cherishes and savours each and every moments like these with her.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Y'all need to tell me how y'all are liking this. Feedback really gives me more motivation to improve and write more.

Also, I'm gonna go MIA for a next 3 days, that means there won't be any Saturday update hence, this early update.

And CEOrry last part will be up sometime next week. Hehe.

......................................................................

Tag list:

@vrittivsanghavi @buckymydarlingangel @sweetwritingfanficfriend @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @sleutherclaw @melllinaa @michellekstyles @sunshinemoonsposts @marialikescherries @japanchrry @onlyangelrain @supersanelyromantic @tenaciousperfectionunknown @haarrrys @originalsoulcollector @harrysgirl-1d1d-blog @lomlhstyles @im-an-overthinker @moonys-star @blackbookwhore @tenaciousperfectionunknown @stilesissaved @allthelovehes @novalunosising @sunshinemoonsposts @harryssky1 @dear-mylove @sofia-faustina

Lemme know if you want to added to the tag list

[jes-star]

Trolls 3 art (mainly oc stuff with ezra) plus his band members im still working on the guitarist anyway

[foolishlovers]

Could you do a collection of found family fic recs??? 👀 or maybe a rare pair collection??

here are some good omens found family fic recs:

An Angel's Wrath (or At Least He's Trying) by Mysti_Gayle (G, 1k) Adam hated knowing that he had caused them so much stress this evening, particularly Aziraphale, whom he greatly admired for his kindness. Now, he had felt like he had taken advantage of that, and the guilt crushed him.

Four-Letter Accusations by Pink_October_Bones (G, 1k) Warlock has a suspicion that Nanny might not be as loveless as she likes to claim.

Never Have I Ever (Been Myself) by FeralTuxedo (M, 28k) Aziraphale Fell, BAFTA-winning actor of stage and screen, is bored. Bored of playing middle-aged divorcees in dull BBC dramas. Bored of answering the same questions on chat shows and breakfast television. Bored of keeping the real him hidden away. So when the opportunity presents itself to collaborate with up-and-coming rock band Witching Hour, he takes it, against his own common sense and the condescending advice of his agent. Witching Hour’s mysterious guitarist Crowley, flame-haired, moody, and a good fifteen years his junior, certainly seems worth the risk. A human actor/rock star AU.

search terms by Vagabond (M, 43k) Aziraphale expects it to be a quiet night working in the university library when a flashy red haired, foul mouthed, panicking student needs to find credible sources for his paper and can't figure out how to use the search. Little does Aziraphale know that meeting Crowley will lead him on a path to self-discovery, and give him the family he didn't realize he needed.   From a prompt on tumblr: College AU - You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline.

Loving You Slow by TawnyOwl95 (E, 46k) Crowley just wants to dance, but he's not prepared to sell his soul (and other things) at Mayfair's Hellfire Club to do it. Tending bar at The Bookshop in Soho is just the escape he needs, providing Crowley can convince the club’s owner he really belongs on the stage. Unfortunately Aziraphale Eastgate is not quite the generous guardian angel Crowley has been led to believe. Welcome to The Bookshop, where it always pays to look under the covers.

It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine by Dervila, elf_on_the_shelf (E, 63k) After Adam's parents die in a car crash, Aziraphale is forced to start taking care of him as more than just an uncle. Don't get him wrong, he loves the little devil, it's just that he is completely clueless and could rather use some help. In comes Crowley, Adam's new nursery school teacher with his amazing skills in dealing with kids. Could he be the answer to all of Aziraphale's prayers - Adam-related and otherwise? Well, it looks like he might be just that, judging by the weird things Aziraphale's heart seems to be doing whenever he sets eyes on the man. Now, if only the tall ginger returned his feelings…

Golden Handcuffs by seekwill (E, 70k) Far from any city, near the Scottish coast, Tadfield College has a celebrated history, an unrivaled academic reputation, and two departments at war. When the Biology and English departments are forced to share a building, Senior Lecturer and botanist Anthony Crowley finds himself drawn into the orbit of the polite but strange English professor, Dr. Aziraphale Fell. As the new term begins, two academics navigate the politics of both their offices and academia, and try to solve the puzzle of one another.

Barriers, and the Breaking Thereof by Cardinal_Daughter (M, 71k) Ezra Fell has long been comfortable in his loneliness. He’s content to simply run the Soho Public Library and otherwise keep to himself. However, when a handsome stranger bursts in one evening with a baby, frantic and in need of help, Ezra finds those carefully constructed barriers he’s long maintained begin to crack. Perhaps it’s time to let them fall. Human AU. Complete.

The Sometimes Wife by AgentStannerShipper (E, 74k) It is a truth universally acknowledged that older brothers are the worst. As the youngest of three children, Parson Aziraphale Fell has been given an ultimatum: find a wife, or lose the family's support. The only problem? Aziraphale has never looked at a woman that way in his life. His attention has instead been captured by the family gardener, a beautiful young man who holds Aziraphale's heart in his hands. But when a mysterious newcomer arrives in the village, Aziraphale finds himself falling - quite unexpectedly - for her as well. Aziraphale knows he will have to choose. After all, it's not as if he can have both…can he?

What We Make of It (Shotgun Wedding) by charlottemadison (E, 213k) The important thing, Crowley tells himself -- the most important thing -- is Adam, his brilliant, creative, empathetic nephew. Being fourteen's hard enough; the kid didn't ask to deal with the weight of the world on top of it. And if taking care of Adam means Crowley has to tough it out at a job he can’t stand, so be it. And if Crowley's job means that Adam’s charming English teacher is NOT a romantic possibility, well, that's just how things go. But the occasional drink with Aziraphale proves hard to resist. They frequent the same pub, so who can object to them saying hello? Briefly sharing a table? Perhaps a little conversation? The painful knowledge that it can’t be anything more -- not without somebody getting fired or sued or both -- well, that can't be helped. Until Crowley stumbles onto a terribly reckless idea…

i also love writing found family fics myself:

The Anon Before Christmas by foolishlovers (E, 66k) When Crowley’s friend, blogging buddy and business partner Anathema announces her annual Secret Santa Exchange on Tumblr, she is very adamant Crowley should join this year. The old-fashioned (but admittedly compassionate) man he gets assigned to send anonymous messages to every day until Christmas sounds awfully similar to the fussy bookseller that his friends adore, yet Crowley tries to avoid at all costs. But surely his friends would have mentioned if Aziraphale had taken an interest in the Bad Omens fandom as well… right? Or: An Enemies to Lovers Secret Santa Tumblr AU.

Tales of Turning Pages by foolishlovers (E, 73k) Every Tuesday, aspiring romance novelist Anthony J. Crowley pays a visit to his local library and the charming angel working there. Every Tuesday, Aziraphale Fell finds himself more and more intrigued by the curious stranger who turns his orderly life as a small-town librarian upside down.

Wild Hearts by foolishlovers (E, 56k+, WIP) In the idyllic English countryside, far from the hustle and bustle of the big city, two teachers at Willowbrook Hall set out to transform their students’ lives through the world of theatre. But for Mr. Crowley, the challenge of navigating his long hidden feelings and dear friendship with Mr. Fell may prove to be the greatest drama of all.

[rabdoidal]

decided to draw some OCs based on the vibes i got from my songs! theyre both university freshman - illia is a law student and Z is a sociology major, Z is new and town and looking to start a brand new punk band after their old one disbanded, and it turns out illia has an amazing voice. unfortunately, she was raised in a super strict household and hates the idea of doing anything that might distract from her studies. Z knows that if they can convince illia to join, they can totally win battle of the bands alongside their new drummer ezra - who works at the campus cafe - and their new guitarist melek - who Z met at roller derby - but who knows what kind of feelings are going to get in the way when illia finally gains independence and dives head first into the punk scene? stay tuned to find out more.....

🧷 kofi link in bio if you’re feeling generous 🧷

[delicate-luv]

Two Become One ~ Chapter One

Summary: Eddie Munson, The lead singer and guitarist of Corroded Coffin, stumbles into you in an unpleasant circumstance. After you discover some hidden secrets about one another, an unexpected factor will come into your relationship. You will have to learn to love in a short period of time.

CW: Minors DNI, 18+, smut, p in v, alcohol, death, fights with boyfriends, drunken flirting, smoking, minimal/no use of y/n, i think that’s it?

Masterlist

Big thank you to my friend, V, for helping me out!

———————————————————————

You and your best friend, Scarlett needed a night out. You needed a break from the whole world after you and your longtime boyfriend, Ezra, had gotten into a huge argument a couple of days ago. You hadn't spoken to him since. And on top of that, you were mourning the loss of your father who passed away only a few weeks ago. Your night off from your hair dresser job was well deserved.

You put your hair in a high ponytail, and put on a white slip dress with red ribbon detailing.

You weren't at all a fan of metal music by any means. In fact, you hadn't listened to it a day in your life. You knew a white stain dress wasn't particularly in dress code for a metal concert, but you wanted to feel good about yourself for once and dress up. You and Scarlett only went because you wanted a night out and saw a poster for a band called 'Corroded Coffin' that would be playing at the local bar.

Halfway through the concert, Scarlett left with a random hookup. You stayed behind and watched the show. A bunch of metal heads were moshing in the small bar area. Apparently this 'Corroded Coffin' was the hot new band.

You decided to listen to the music from all the way in the back, not wanting to get involved in the mosh pit and the crowd. You honestly debated on just walking home at one point. However, the lead guitarist caught your eye. Seeing him play the guitar and sing really made you flush. Is this awakening something in you? You had always had a thing for the good boys. And the man who was right infront of you, currently perfectly a cover of 'Sex' by 'Motley Crue' was certainly not a good boy. You watched the way his hair looked as he head banged and moved his hands up and down his guitar, and it was like he was moving in slow motion.

After the show, you stood outside the bar waiting for a cab when all of a sudden a familiar person turned the corner. He had a cigarette in his mouth. He smelled strongly of smoke and cheap cologne. Nothing like what Ezra smelt like. But it was new, it was refreshing, and most importantly, it was hot. You stood next to him for a few moments, not knowing if you should say anything.

"You want a smoke?" He asked, his hand reached out with a cigarette.

"Sure." You didn't know why you agreed. You had never even smoked before. "Thanks."

He lit it for you and you deeply inhaled the smoke. Holding back a cough, you couldn't help but think of how furious Ezra would be with you right now. That image in your mind made you smile. You did it out of spite.

"You're the lead guitarist right?"

"Yeah."

There was an awkward moment of silence.

"Were you lost? The beauty pageant is that way." He joked, but when he saw you didn't laugh back, he gave an awful attempt to blow it off. He leaned up against the brick wall. "You don't look like you listen to metal. You are dressed way too pretty."

"You're right. I don't. I came with my friend Scarlett and then she left and-"

He interrupted. "I don't care."

You rolled your eyes in disgust.

"To clarify, its not that I don't care, I just don't want to hear your life story."

Wow. He was a real asshole. That definitely clarified everything.

"Anyways...your band is really good."

"Thanks."

"What's your name?"

"Eddie."

He was very short with you.

"So your band, who are they?"

"Wow, so many questions, sweetheart. Gareth is the drummer. Jeff, who's my bassist. And there is Vince, the backup guitarist."

You nodded. "Sounds like you've got yourself a good thing going here."

"Yes, we do."

You watched as he blew out cigarette smoke. You had always hated smoking, thought anyone who did it was disgusting. And there you were, smoking with a member of a metal band, in a dark alley. You looked down and put the cigarette out, realizing it had a phone number on it. You decided to slip it into your purse-you might need it later.

It was obvious you two had almost nothing in common. The conversation was about to come to a close. But you couldn't have that happen. A part of you needed to have him in your presence for a moment longer. You blurted out. "My dad died."

"Damn." It was obvious he didn't know how to react.

"I only came for a good time tonight."

"I'll show you a good time." He adjusted his stance. "You wanna get drinks? After we finish a set, we get free drinks at the bar." He looked up off the ground and looked into your sparkling eyes.

"I shouldn't. I have a boyfriend."

"Whatever, pretty girl." He stood up straight and headed back inside.

In a moment of impulse, you caught up with him just as he was about to head inside. "Wait, one drink wouldn't hurt."

You were right, one drink didn't hurt. Except for the fact that you had three.

"You're drunk, sweetheart." He ushered a glass of water to your lips, in an attempt to get you to sober up.

"I know, and it feels great!" You stumbled around the bar. "I hate Ezra!" You screamed out.

Eddie wasn't originally drunk, but his band started to play beer pong. The bartender had already cut you off, so you were content with just watching. No surprises, Eddie was really good. In no time he was about just as drunk as you were.

"Whooo!" He stood on the bar table, cheering.

"We're all drunk! I love life!" Jeff stumbled around.

Eddie jumped off the table and walked right up to you.

"What's your game, pretty girl?"

"My game? I wanna take you home." You shouted over the loud music in a drunk haze.

He leaned towards you and gave you a long kiss. "Let's make that happen then."

You lived with Scarlett and knowing her, she would already have a hook up there. So you decided to go with Eddie to his place. Eddie had his van there, but god knows how drunk he was. There was no way he could drive. He ended up calling a cab to take you to his home. You arrived to a trailer park and when the clock had just hit 2:37 a.m.

"This is my home. Home, sweet, home." He sarcastically said as he opened the door. He was stumbling around, trying to find the light switch. When he found it, you both squinted until your eyes adjusted to the light. "You know, y-you look alot better in the dark."

"You're still an asshole when you're drunk." You laughed slightly offended, neither of you would remember this in the morning.

"Are you ready for an after party, princess?" He took your hand as you both stumbled into his bedroom.

“Mhm.” You mumbled as he slithered his hands around your waist. His lips sloppily clashed into yours. As you kept kissing him, you felt something harden in his pants against your thigh.

Your lips still on his, he crashed onto the bed. You sighed as his hand made its way up your dress, his fingers dancing against the edge of your lace panties. You both needed each other. Badly. Eddie’s breathing began to pick up as he slid the soaked panties down. He threw them onto the floor next to the bed. He pulled away for a moment to unbuckle his belt, his black jeans falling to the ground. He kicked them off and placed them beside him.

You laid on your back, Eddie placing one hand underneath you. You pulled down his boxers to reveal his hard, leaking dick.

“Fuck, Eddie.” You whined as he slowly glided into you.

“Mmm.” He moaned, beginning to pick up his pace. “You have such a pretty pussy, princess.”

He threw his head back as you let out a louder moan, gripping a fistful of sheets. His free hand then made its way to your clit, beginning to play with it. His movements quickly became sloppy, so he must be close.

“I’m on the pill, don’t worry.” You managed to mumble out, trying to focus on getting close yourself.

“Holy fuck-” he groaned under his breath as you felt him coming undone inside of you.

[the-vatican-if]

Va†ican

In this Horror/Romance IF you play as a paranormal investigator. Set in the 1980's, after a series of unfortunate events you unexpectedly get wrapped up in the dubious affairs of a seemingly cursed rock band known as the Va†ican. Will you be able to save the band and all of the west coast from themselves?

†FEATURES†

†Fully customizable MC Including†

• Pronouns (She/Her, He/Him, They/Them with the ability to customize pronouns to include secondary and/or Neo-pronouns)

• Appearance (Height, Body Type, Facial Features, Skin Color, Eye Color, Skin markings and Hair Color/Length/Texture)

• Background/Origin

• Personality

†Fall in love! or don't.†

†Enjoy the eighties... and being hunted by demons.†

CONTENT WARNINGS

The Va†ican is intended for mature audiences as it will include: Strong language, Use of Alcohol/Drugs, Intense Violence, Sexual Themes, Mentions of Religious Trauma, Gore, Potentially Mental Health related topics and eventually completely optional Sexual Content.

THE BAND

†Pontifex†

-

Stevie St. Cloud

He/Him|24|

-

Lead Vocals, Guitarist & Frontman

-

He's famous, and he LOVES that people know his name. He's brash, loud mouthed and full of himself to the point that it's almost annoying; but he is also the quintessential rockstar. He's ambitious, and has a stage presence thats undeniably breathtaking.

Stevie doesn't like to talk about himself outside of his stage persona and the only thing anyone is able to verify about his past is that he attended boarding school and roomed with Ezra who is his best friend to this day.

Stevie is an avid smoker and even though his 12 step program forbids it he also indulges in more than a bit of alcohol from time to time.

Stevie is dedicated to his work, often saying he'd give his life for the band... that he did give his life to the Vatican. He is charming and cunning; However, He also is a bit of a big personality, has a tendency to tell jokes at inappropriate times and is slightly narcissistic.

-

†Appearance†

He's tall, around 6'4 and very lanky; his proportions as far as torso/leg are honestly pretty even. Stevie is just long. He is relatively pale and has fairly clear skin, the only beauty mark being a small one under his right eye. Stevie has very well defined facial features that make him easy to spot in a crowd, some would say impossible to miss. He has a strong jawline and defined cheekbones. His nose is on the larger side and is grecian in shape, he has doll like lips with a prominent cupids bow. His eyes are a deep brownish green and have a slight droop to their corners. His eyes are framed by thick black lashes and slightly thicker than average arched brows.

Stevie wears his hair to his shoulders, it is wild and poorly layered almost like he did it at home (Vinny cuts it); He currently has loose bangs, kept either parted down the middle or not at all that frame his face quite well. It is black in color though he does keep a poorly bleached strip of hair somewhere within it.

†Deacon†

-

Ezra Rogers

-

He/Him|23|

-

Lead Guitarist

-

A bit less enthusiastic about the life that he lives then Stevie; Ezra is more comfortable partying by himself then with others and at times has trouble getting up on stage to perform.

Ezra is Stevie's best friend and others in the band often joke that Ezra would kill for him.

Cold, distant and sarcastic; Ezra Rogers is less stereotypical rocker and more-so tired dad friend. Doesn't indulge in the kind of things that the other boys are interested in quite as often, only drinking on occasion and never smoking or using party drugs.

Ezra is a bit of a control freak, has a tendency to be harsh in his words and from time to time is a bit judgemental.

He wants the best for the band but usually ends up going along with Stevie's hair-brained schemes even though he thinks that they're bad ideas 100% of the time.

-

†Appearance†

He's about 5'9, a little broader than Stevie though he's still on the thin side.

He has warm tanned olive toned skin that is clear of blemishes, deep-set eyes that are nearly black in color. Ezra has a broad nose with a slightly shallow nasal bridge, he has plump lips which don't really have a strong cupids bow.

He has dark, near permanently furrowed brows which almost make him look intimidating.

Ezra wears his hair a little differently than the other guys, as he's the only one who keeps his hair somewhat short.

His hair is both naturally black and naturally straight and he wears it in what would be considered a wolfcut, the longest strands reaching the nape of his neck.

He has a couple tattoos the biggest of which is on his left shoulder, an Ouroboros; The bands most frequently used logo with an intricate amount of detail and a delicate looking sunburst design around it.

†Bishop†

-

Vincent "Vinny" Fratelli

-

He/Him|21|

-

Bassist & Background Vocals

-

One word. Scrapper. This man has a temper and it often gets him and the rest of the Vatican in trouble. Vinny is not above swinging on someone in the crowd for heckling— whether thats with his fist or his bass? depends on the day.

Outside of his temper he's also got the capacity to be a sweetheart, he's charming and one hundred percent knows how to get a crowd worked up when he's not crowd surfing to get at some ass in the back.

Vincent, like Stevie has a bit of a drinking problem and has been known to indulge in coke every once in awhile. Its a sad habit that he's been trying to kick for a long time but he's struggling.

He grew up in a rough neighborhood and had been through a lot already before he joined the band at 19, and thought that the Vatican was his escape from all of that; So all of the shit thats been going on recently has been a bit much for him.

-

†Appearance†

He's 6'1, with a swimmers build (though he actually never learned how to swim). He is fairly light skinned and speckled with light acne scarring and beauty marks, a few litter his face but his body is absolutely covered in them; as well as tattoos. A few of his tats have meaning, like the Ouroboros (its a super simple version of the logo compared to Ezra's) but most of his tattoos are just meaningless little pieces he thought were cool or that the artist picked out for him.

Vincent has a strong jaw and plush lips that are perpetually slightly down-turned, Vinny's nose has quite obviously been broken more than a few times and has a slight but obvious crook to the right. His eyes are sharp and dark blue, paired with his constantly drawn down brows the man always looks pissed. That is until he smiles and then his face lights up and everything about him seemingly changes... he looks almost angelic.

His hair is a wild mess of bleach blonde strands hanging down to his shoulder blades, with dark roots peaking out of his scalp and in typical rocker fashion is almost constantly stiff with hairspray.

†Cardinal†

-

Arthur "Ace" Bennington

-

He/Him|19|

-

Drummer

-

Literal ball of sunshine, Ace is constantly in motion and constantly smiling; the other boys often scold him for not having a 'rocker' persona. He literally can't help it though, he's just so damn happy to be here.

He's excitable, compassionate and honestly very funny but he also has the tendency to be a bit naive, childish and sort of overly intense.

Ace also has a habit to overuse curse words when he's excited, which is almost all of the time.

As the youngest in the group he often feels like the other guys are trying to parent him and seeing as he grew up in and out of foster homes it sort of bothers him at times...

He ultimately sees the boys as older brothers though and has never said anything about it for the fear of hurting their feelings.

-

†Appearance†

The shortest of the group, Ace is 5'6 and has a relatively small frame as well. He is slightly tanned and covered head to toe in little freckles. Arthur's nose has a slight hook to it and his eyes are heavy-lidded and light brown. He has a thinner upper lip than his top, which is relatively plump.

He also has the most heavenly smile to ever be seen. He has a large scar from below his right eye, down through his lips and to his chin from an accident when he was a kid he hasn't even told the other guys about. Ace has his left nostril pierced (Vinny did it) and usually wears a simple stud.

His hair is an voluminous mess of curls that fall down to his shoulders and is currently a odd shade of muddled brown/blonde that he's gotten quite a bit of flack from the media for. (Vinny did it.)

†Vicar†

-

Julian 'Jules' Lennox

-

He/Him|21|

-

Rhythm Guitar & Background Vocals

-

The most promiscuous of the group, this man is the one the camera pans to during a live performance and he looks like he's about to make love to the crowd.

Jules is often late to rehearsals because he's 'busy' with a 'friend' but he's good at what he does and so Stevie keeps him around anyways.

Julian has a habit of being a bit self involved, he is passive aggressive at times and is a tad melodramatic.

However he has good intentions in everything he does, is very intelligent/talented and underneath it all very hard-working.

Jules suffers quite a bit with his mental health from time to time and is prone to depressive episodes that he forces himself to work through due to his fear of disappointing the others and being replaced.

-

†Appearance†

Julian is 5'10 and a bit more muscular than the other guys, though not by much. His skin is glowy and has a healthy tan to it and he has a light spattering of freckles. He is frequently referred to as the bands 'pretty boy' and often gets made of for looking 'feminine'.

This just means he has a more regal face then what most people think of when they hear the word 'rockstar'. Jules's nose is on the larger side and perfectly straight and statuesque, he has pale blue 'doe eyes' and plump doll-like lips.

His hair is rarely actually styled and is slightly wavey, hanging down to his mid back and is currently dyed a deep crimson red (he did it himself) and it looks very nice.

[looksgold]

happy   sunday   all   !   ya   girl   had   been   a   hot   mess   ,   but   !   i've   been   back   to   work   for   a   bit   and   i'm   feeling   sm   better   emotionally!   i   want   to   jump   back   into   things   so   ,   hit   the   heart   for   a   one   liner   from   one   of   my   new   ,   shiny   muses listed below   !   <3

gray   schaefer,   twenty5,   damian   hardung,   former   soccer   player,   had   his   career   halted   by   an   injury,   refuses   to   admit   that   his   career   is   over   and   will   push   himself   to   play   even   if   he   injures   himself,   needs   to   be   the   best   or   nothing   at   all,   flirtatious   and   conceited,   tries   to   hide   how   terrified   he   is   about   losing   everything   he   worked   for.

locke   rodgers,   twenty6,   chris   briney,   lead   singer   &   guitarist   for   the   band   'outskirts',   alongside   tommy   &   callaway,   recovering   addict,   dedicated   to   his   career   following   an   overdose   that   almost   took   his   life,   trying   to   keep   on   the   straight   and   narrow   but   worries   his   line   of   work   will   pull   him   back   down

tomas   'tommy'   rubio,   twenty8,   aron   piper,   bassist   for   the   band   'outskirts',   alongside   locke   &   callaway,   has   had   everything   handed   ot   him   his   entire   life,   trust   fund   kid,   has   a   fierce   temper   and   indulgent   personality,   player   and   heartbreaker

wyatt   blue,   thirty,   nicholas   galitzine,   hotel   chain   owner,   recently   inherited   his   father's   company   following   his   death,   wyatt   feels   like   he's   live   dhis   entire   life   in   wait.   waiting   for   the   company   to   be   his,   waiting   for   someone   to   see   him,   to   love   him.   now,   he   feels   unsteady   and   uncertain,   and   his   patience   is   waring,   ready   to   settle   down   and   focus   on   building   his   life   and   business.

callaway   daniels,   thirty1,   daniel   ezra,   drummer   for   the   band   'outskirts',   alongside   tommy   &   locke,   is   the   one   who   put   all   the   work   into   helping   the   band   get   off   the   ground,   had   always   been   a   hard   worker.   focuses   on   his   music   and   improving   his   skills,   as   well   as   running   the   club   he   owns.   workaholic,   sometimes   forgets   to   take   a   break.

avi   rana,   thirty5,   dev   patel,   assassin,   never   meant   to   get   into   crime   but   doesn't   see   anyway   out,   formerly   a   sniper   in   the   military,   will   kill   for   the   right   prize,   haunted   by   guilt   for   what   he   does   and   the   trauma   of   his   past,   struggles   to   let   people   close   but   would   fall   in   love   with   one   of   his   targets

benson   romano,   twenty6,   felix   mallard,   former   child   star,   recently   finished   a   blockbuster   movie   and   immediately   announced   his   departure   from   the   industry,   tired   of   being   shit   on   in   tabloids   on   gossip   blogs,   wants   to   be   free   and   live   his   best   life,   bi   as   fuck!!

jude   valentine,   forty2,   chad   michael   murray,   film   producer,   rich   and   an   asshole,   he   always   wants   more   than   what   he   has,   the   fancy   houses   and   cars   and   boats...   recently   divorced   and   lonely   ,   he   uses   his   money   to   feed   his   vices   and   desires,   doesn't   realize   he's   alone   because   of   his   own   flaws

brooks   morrison   ,   thirty,   chase   stokes,   bartender,   jaded   but   caring,   emotional   support   bartender,   golden   retriever   energy,   good   heart   w   trauma. 

luna   masen,   twenty6,   zendaya,   trust   fund   baby,   party   girl   to   the   max,   parties   hard   every   night   and   sleeps   the   day   away.   doesn't   know   when   to   stop,   has   no   interest   in   anything   beyond   parties.   struggles   to   have   relationships   beyond   a   surface   level   dynamic   or   a   hookup.   is   spiralling,   and   doesn't   know   how   to   stop   herself.

arizona   laurent,   twenty2,   maia   reficco,   only   fans   creator/stripper,   flirt   to   the   max,   running   away   from   her   past   and   trying   to   establish   her   own   life,   finds   comfort   in   sex   and   struggles   to   be   vulnerable,   even   though   she   does   catch   feelings   hella   easily

scout   moralis,   twenty7,   zaria   simone,   actress,   will   do   anything   to   help   other's   to   avoid   taking   care   of   herself

octavia   cheng,   twenty5,   havana   rose   liu,   secretary,   sweetest   girl   you   will   ever   meet,   she's   always   shied   away   from   dating.   however,   having   never   had   a   serious   relationship,   she   suddenly   worries   she's   falling   behind.   honestly   give   me   a   best   friends   to   lovers   plot   for   her,   my   sweet   lil   virgin   !!!!

giselle   bronte,   twenty4,   sophie   thatcher,   influencer,   tiktok   and   instagram   star,   but   she   needs   to   be   the   best.   she   will   psuh   herself,   making   content   all   day,   hoping   for   more   followers,   more   views,   more   love.   any   criticism   is   taken   straight   to   heart. 

harper   davani,   twenty3,   tara   yummy,   tattoo   artist,   talented   at   what   she   does   but   her   lack   of   self   esteem   sabotages   her,   insecure   and   hesitant   which   results   in   an   aching   desire   to   be   love

violet   'vi'   zhao,   twenty6,   amberly   yang,   popstar,   fresh   out   of   a   stint   in   rehab,   fun-loving   and   definitely   not   sober,   holds   a   grudge,   messy   but   i   would   die   for   her   honestly!!

chloe   lin,   twenty2,   lola   tung,   college   student,   you   will   never   find   anyone   as   trusting   or   as   kind.

[fortuna9]

Explaining my band dr!

In this reality I'm the frontwoman of Velvet Veil. We have no specific genre, but we experiment with rock, folk, etc.

The band consists of Seraphina Noir (me), Ashton Locke (guitarist and my love interest), Luna Skye (bass) and Ezra Echo (drummer)

We have 5 full band albums. Our debut album was released in 1996, sophmore in 2000, third in 2007, fourth in 2015 and fifth in 2019.

Ash is my main piece, my soulmate, but our relationship is rocky to say the least lol. We're childhood friends, we started dating in '95, broke up '99, had an enemies era, became friends again in 2012, and got back together in 2014.

I wanted this dr to feel like a liminal space and like some indie movie from 1999 that will change your life.

Humans in this reality are both nocturnal and diurnal, and only need 2 hours of sleep, though most people choose to sleep longer.

People have fair working hours, conditions and wages, and companies don’t exploit their workers.

Your powers are a manifestation of your identity but are very subtle.

For example, some people may be extraordinarily good at swimming, almost like a mermaid. Some people may be extremely good at reading other people and are attuned to others’ emotions on a supernatural level.

People’s powers manifest more like hums, vibrations, and auras, subtly influencing the environment around them.

Your powers are increased in community settings (like bands), but at the risk of your powers when alone being weakened.

Time is ambiguous, fluid, and non-linear, but it’s still easy to navigate.

There’s always some type of background music or “soundtrack”, and music is a powerful element and character.

The environment is mercurial, reflecting the emotions and states of people in it.

There are some videogame-like elements, including title cards, voiceovers for fights, unique objects, and levels. (inspired by Scott Pilgrim)

Once you defeat someone in a fight they respawn in their house.

There’s a lot of different means to travel (like the Subspace Highway)

Memories and emotions have a tangible effect and often take on physical forms that you have to defeat or reconcile with.

You can explore your mind in a literal sense.

That's all I got for y'all today, feel free to ask me questions, you're shifting tonight btw <3

[boonesfarmsangria]

At the end of the month, Yannis & The Yaw will release the EP Lagos Paris London, a collection of songs that sees Foals frontman Yannis Philippakis team up with late Afrobeat legend Tony Allen. Sessions began back in 2016 but were uncompleted when Allen died in 2020, Philippakis getting the tracks to the finish line with Allen’s trusted team of collaborators in Paris over the past couple of years. It makes for an excellent melding of sounds, a union of Allen’s restless, toppling grooves and Philippakis’ knack for dexterous rock riffs and yearning vocals. Last week, Niall spoke to Yannis over Zoom about how rehearsals for Yannis & The Yaw’s live shows are coming along (see here for ticket and date details), his favourite memories of working with Allen, where the Yannis & The Yaw project could go next and more…

Hello Yannis, how’s it going?

Yeah, good. I got back last night after being away for two weeks, so it’s one of those where the hot water isn’t working, the internet doesn’t work, the house smells like bins…

Haha.  I saw some videos you put up from rehearsals. How are they going?

It was loosely rehearsing, it wasn’t full band. I’ve been going over to Paris semi-regularly now for a few years, obviously to finish the record and since then to explore how to do the live show because without Tony being around, we have to be thoughtful about how to do it. We’ve also got to create more material for the show, because the EP is only about 20 minutes long.

Like an early Foals show!

Yeah, exactly. It’s like when we first headlined Brixton and we played for 40 minutes, the shortest ever headline set at Brixton Academy.

I was at that gig. It wasn’t just that you didn’t have loads of material, it was that you played the songs you had really quickly too.

The nerves controlled the tempo that day.

So have you cracked that nut in terms of what you’re going to do for the Yannis & The Yaw live shows?

We jammed a bit with this Malian guitarist so we’ve got some extra material. We’re going to do some improvised sections, extend certain sections, jam out bits of the songs that people know, and then we might do a couple of Tony Allen covers as well.

We’ve got an amazing band. We’ve got Dave Okumu on guitar. We’ve got Seye Adelekan, who plays bass for lots of people and is the live bass player for Gorillaz and who’s really awesome. I’ve wanted to play with him for a long time. Then the Vincents, Vincent Taurelle and Vincent Taeger, who were the producers and musicians on the EP so I’m quite familiar with playing with those two. And Kit [Monteith, a member of Foals’ live band] on percussion. As a collective, we’ve never played together so there’s definitely a big question mark about how it’s going to come together. But it’s exciting because I have absolute faith that the other guys are going to come and elevate all of the music. There’s some nerves, I want it to do justice to the EP and to Tony and for it not to suck.

Who’s playing drums?

Vincent Taeger. He’s perfect for it. Tony really admired a couple of younger drummers. One of them is Femi from Ezra Collective and the other one was Vincent. Vincent had worked on other Tony Allen records and had been in Tony’s orbit for a long time and knew him intimately to the point where when we were mixing the record, both the Vincents could tell me exactly the frequency that Tony would want his kick drum mixed at and things like that, they know it so intimately that they almost can translate what Tony would have wanted. Because Vincent was in on the sessions, it just felt right.

I love the EP. What’s the full timeframe from when you started it to release?

How many years? I mean, do I have to say?

Yeah.

It’s probably like six or seven years, or maybe the better part of a decade. I think we first got together in 2017, I’m not that good with dates.

I read 2016.

It might well have been 2016.

What’s it like living with a piece of music like that for so long?

For a while, it was OK, because I quite liked to pull out this little trump card late at night at parties when everyone’s playing their own music and I’d be like, ‘Oh, have you heard this stuff I did with Tony Allen?’ and whack it on at three in the morning. It would most often be heard in that kind of setting.

I didn’t want that chapter to close, so part of the reason why I think we didn’t hurry to finish the tracks was that we enjoyed the collaboration with each other. And also, it wasn’t something that was driven by a record label or by an idea of completion. It was an exploration with Tony and we enjoyed jamming with each other. I think that we would have probably done a whole album had things turned out differently. We were enjoying each other’s company, we enjoyed playing so there was a part of it which was pleasant that there was this material bubbling away on the back hob for a long time while he also made other records and I was focusing on Foals. The problem with that obviously was that we didn’t get to complete it while he was alive so that’s the bit that’s the bit where now there’s a feeling of slight remorse that we just didn’t finish it.

But in terms of like having the songs living alongside you unfinished, it wasn’t something that was aggravating to me. I quite enjoyed the fact that they were just there in the ether but it does now feel awesome to have it done and have it out. I think that that needed to happen once Tony passed away. They needed to be completed.

Thinking back to when you first went to Paris to meet Tony in the studio, how did it go in terms of what you were expecting versus what actually happened?

I didn’t really know what to expect, it was all quite French in terms of the communication! Genuinely, when I got to Paris that morning, I didn’t know whether I was playing on a written piece of music that I was going to be slotting into, or if it was one tune or many. In terms of expectation, it was quite loose. All I knew was that I was going to go into a studio with Tony Allen and I was excited. I guess I was a bit anxious about how it was gonna go. I didn’t want to get there and be like, ‘Oh, this isn’t clicking’ or ‘I’m a letdown’ or something.

The not-knowing what I’m walking into would freak me out.

It didn’t freak me out but I just didn’t know. I had a guitar and a loop pedal. I knew if I needed anything, I could find it on that loop pedal. It’s quite a Luddite way of working but I had about 80 loops in this little box that I’d go around with. I went in there and it wasn’t necessarily frosty, but it was kind of quiet. It was a cold morning, pretty early, it was December, it was a bit grim outside. And Tony was sat there in this basement studio and it was already pretty smoky in there.

What was incredible about it was the realisation that we were going to build something from scratch, them saying, ‘Oh no, there’s nothing written, you’re not playing on something that’s pre-written, we’re gonna go in and we’re gonna jam and you’re gonna play with Tony’. That moment was like, ‘Alright, OK’. Once we started playing and just how natural it felt, it’s been one of the peaks of my musical life, the fact that it flowed so well with Tony and there was this innate understanding and appreciation that felt like it was a two way street.

What your favourite memory of hanging out with Tony?

Probably Café OTO because it was the first time that I hung out with him fully socially in London. He came to play a small show at Café OTO in Dalston. It was amazing to watch him onstage, post having played with him, in this intimate venue. He was beckoning me over into his roped-off area, we were drinking whiskey together all night. To see him for the first time in a social context and to remember how much of a legend he is but then also to just be hanging out drinking Chivas Regal with a single cube of ice and a plastic cup well into the night, it was good fun.

Tell me about how some of the songs on the EP came to life. What about the opening track, Walk Through Fire?

Walk Through Fire was super quick. It’s basically the riff that I was checking my set-up in the studio with, it almost felt a bit like ‘Whoa, steady there’ because Tony was already playing along to it and and the producers were recording already. One aspect of the EP was things would happen very quickly in the studio, and then there’d be long lunches. I’d always be like, ‘Guys, can we just get back into the studio now?!’ I had to slow my rhythm down to conform with that way of working. It was Tony’s way of working as well, not to force stuff. He didn’t do many takes. There’s actually audio of me asking him to play something again and him refusing, saying, ‘No!’ and leaving the room.

My voice was feeling really strong at that point as well. I’d come straight off a tour and my voice felt elastic, like the range was kind of at its best. I remember that moment of singing some vocal takes and kind of seeing Tony not expecting that to come out of me. He seemed to be more into my voice than than the guitar stuff.

That must have given you confidence.

Yeah, even though he collaborated widely, I think that’s a point of newness, where it’s a kind of rock energy meeting with his style. We had some discussions about the lyrics, I wanted to make sure that he was included in it, and also to find a point of difference with Foals, so they are less introverted and more outward looking. He wanted the songs to be engaging with the streets or society more.

How did Rain Can’t Reach Us come about? I love that tune.

I do too. It’s one of my favourite pieces of music I’ve been part of. I was basically scrolling through my loops and when we were on that one, people got interested, Tony was like, ‘Let’s try that one’. There was probably five layers of guitars, so one went to the marimba, one went to a keyboard, one went to one guitar and another guitar and there was four of us playing that those parts in the room. And then Tony came in, and then I sang over it. There was definitely work done to it afterwards in terms of all the strings and the keys and stuff, but the first time we played it with Tony, that was it.

Is part of you sad it’s completed now?

Yeah, definitely. I’m really pleased to be releasing it, but there’s also a corner of it in which there’s sadness that we’re not doing it together, even the interviews and stuff. It would’ve been fun to have done them together. I’m looking forward to people hearing the EP in full and playing the shows to celebrate it. The idea of the Yaw means that there is a possibility in the future to collaborate with other people or do a record, some sort of continuation of it. It’s not necessarily a full stop or a dead end, but obviously the material with Tony, this is it, there’s no more.

Is this somewhere you could maybe find a home for the stuff you did with Karl Hyde that’s never seen the light of day? You also once told me you wanted to make a Greek folk record…

I need to figure it out. The Karl Hyde stuff would be awesome, I don’t know where he’s at with that. I’m feeling a pull to wanting to do more with Greek music. I’m not sure where that sits, it might be with this or it might be something different. I need to think it through a bit more. I like the idea that this record is postcards from different locations from different cultures, so maybe a future record could be like that. But this pull towards Greek music is definitely happening and I need to deal with that. That’s the big thing I’ve learned from this project with Tony, it is important to throw yourself into wherever you’re being pulled and finish it as well.

What about Foals, what’s the plans for that at the moment?

It’s at the stage where I think we’re enjoying having a bit of time off, all of us individually. We’re chatting quite a lot. It’s [Foals guitarist] Jimmy’s 40th today, we’re jumping on a call later to virtually wish him happy birthday because he’s on the other side of the world right now. We’re probably going to go to Iceland to hang out towards the end of the year to and we’ll know more about what we’re doing after that. We’re going to go to a remote house in Iceland and see what happens

[lifeweaverspeach]

Damian Ezra!

My newest sim, Damian Ezra - Vampire Guitarist! Unfortunalety I don't have Vampire pack, but I hope to get it eventually :P

[something-tofightfor]

Root Pearl: 3

Pairing: Ezra x female reader - musician AU

Word Count: 11,112

Rating: M. Language. Alcohol. Talking about sex but no sexual acts. Ezra’s a charmer even when he doesn’t think he is. 

Summary: Your first date with Ezra isn’t at all what you expect - and it’s the same for him. 

Blanket warnings: loss of a parent, character death, survivor’s guilt, learning to deal with the loss of a limb, infidelity (not Reader w/Ezra), blood, bodily injury, heavy angst.

Author’s note:

This is a slow burn. Sorry about the delay. Hope you like this one - there’s a new POV incoming.

Catch up on the first parts of this story here 

“You’ve been in a good mood lately.” She speaks up from her seat on the kitchen counter, a bowl of cereal in her lap. “Did something happen?” There’s a brief pause before he answers, but the words aren’t what she’s expecting to hear. 

“Yes.” Ezra says her name, raising an eyebrow and turns to face her, his favorite mug in hand. “And I thought you wanted me in a good mood, Birdie. Is it a problem that -”

“No, not at all.” She grins, taking another bite and chewing before she says anything else. “I guess I just didn’t think that you’d be so excited about the show this fast, especially since it’s still so far away.”

“It’s good to be doing something that I love again.” He shrugs, frowning for a few seconds. “Even in a limited capacity. Practicing with the band is… good for me.” It has been - and she agrees without pause. The man coming home from the twice weekly sessions with the other members of The Fringe with a smile on his face and immediately going into the kitchen to make himself a mug of steaming thulian-ginger tea is a welcome sight and reminds her of nights spent rehearsing for the tour or being backstage with him before the band took the stage. “There are still weeks to go, but it’s been…” He shrugs again, and she understands that he’s trying to downplay his excitement. “A nice change of pace.” 

It’s only been about two weeks since his first practice with the band, but there is a definite change with Ezra, and Cee hopes that the closer the show gets, the more he continues to improve. He’s not attempting to play guitar - yet - but the singing is a step in the right direction, especially since he seems so encouraged about his ability to perform whenever he tells her how the sessions go. “When do I get to hear you sing again, Ezra?” She finishes her cereal, setting the bowl down next to her hip and watches as he twists the knob under the kettle, his back to her. “Can I come to a practice?” 

“We’re taking two weeks off now, because Zed is going on vacation.” He turns and faces her, placing his hand against his hip. “Which means I’ll have to use the room here.” Oh. She smiles. “And you are more than welcome to sit in, little bird. I just didn’t ask you to come with me because I never know how long I’ll be over there and I don’t want you to get bored… or overwhelmed.” His smile is kind - understanding, even. “Hearing the same songs that -”

 “Thank you.” She hops down, crossing the kitchen to rinse the bowl out. “That’s probably a good idea. If we’re here, I can always just go back to my room.” He nods, and when she looks at him again, Cee notices that he’s watching her intently, his eyes focused on her face. “What?” 

There’s a pause before he speaks again, and Ezra’s words once again shock the girl - but she tries not to let him see it. “I’m also in a good mood for another reason, Cee.” You are? She doesn’t know what the reason for that could possibly be; his doctor’s appointments have been standard, he hasn’t gone out anywhere by himself that’s out of the ordinary, his new arm is still delayed. Maybe he’s writing again. Or maybe - “I am …” He clears his throat, attention drawn to the sound of the kettle whistling, the man immediately turning to reach for it and removing it from the heat. “I have a date tomorrow night.” What? 

“A date?” She blinks, taking a step closer and staring at his back, the thermal undershirt he’s wearing stretched tight over his shoulders. “Ezra, are you… is it Inum-”

“It is not.” After pouring the hot water over the contents of the mug, Ezra turns to face her, his lips pressed together. “I haven’t spoken to her since the night we went out the first time to talk about the benefit.” Oh, that … that’s good. “I have nothing to say to her right now because I don’t want to say something I would regret.” You wouldn’t regret it for long, I’m sure.

“That’s good.” She murmurs the words, still trying to figure out who the man could be talking about. He hasn’t met anyone. He hasn’t even … But then she remembers that Ezra did in fact meet someone the last time he left the apartment for fun. And if it’s her, then … “Ezra? Do you have something to tell me?” She’s excited for him, even though she doesn’t know if she has any real reason to be. But in true Ezra fashion, the man doesn’t answer right away, instead looking down into the steaming cup of liquid and tugging on the string attached to the tea packet, lifting it up and down a few times. Oh, he’s… this is unfair. “About -”

“I might.” He meets her eyes again and she sees a spark of genuine interest in his, along with the tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips. “I might have a lot to tell you after tomorrow night, Birdie.” She wants to know more; the girl is almost desperate for information, but bites her tongue instead, giving him what she hopes is an encouraging look. Don’t. Steadying herself, she straightens up and nods twice at him, not even trying to hide the smile on her face.  “I do have a favor to ask, though.” He sighs, lifting the mug to his lips to take a sip, keeping his eyes on her over the rim of it. “Will you cut my hair for me? Ever since you started doing it for the tour, I haven’t wanted to entrust anyone with the -”

“Yes.” She laughs, crossing her arms over her chest and letting herself think about the best options in terms of a haircut for him. Nothing too short. “I’ll even trim your beard for you, too, because Kevva knows you’d rather just shave it off than -”

“No.” He shakes his head, setting the mug down and licking his lips, fingertips running over the bristly hair on his chin. “No, I think this is here to stay for a while. But a trim would be appreciated.” They stand in silence for a few seconds, watching each other, and when Cee steps forward to put her arms around him, Ezra accepts the gesture wordlessly, turning his head to the side so that as she presses her cheek against his chest, he’s able to settle his on the top of her head. She doesn’t think he’s going to say anything else, but when he does, the words are so quiet she almost believes she imagined them. “If this works out? I’ll have you to thank.” 

It’s still not a confirmation - but for her, it’s enough. Yet Cee understands that until she sees the two of you together, she can’t assume. Because I could be wrong … but I don’t think I am. And when she lets go of Ezra and looks up at him, searching his face for anything he’ll give her, she knows she isn’t - and it has very little to do with the brightness in the man’s brown eyes, or the excited lift of the corners of his mouth - and everything to do with the way she feels. 

— 

The only person that knew you were meeting Ezra for dinner was Ezra, and you wanted to keep it that way. Not because you didn’t want to tell people that you had a date, but because you were nervous to, just in case the night went poorly or it turned out that things felt more like when you went out with Jillian or your other friends.

You were excited - of course you were, but the apprehension that you felt was also almost tangible… and as you got ready to leave, you wondered why. 

In the weeks since you’d exchanged numbers with the man, you and Ezra had kept up a regular stream of conversation. After breaking the ice that same night, it had seemed natural to keep talking to each other - a message here, a picture there, questions and replies allowing you to get to know each other a little better as the days passed. He’d asked if he could call you about a week into it, and you’d immediately agreed, the two of you talking late into the night as you laid out on one of the lounge chairs in your yard, a blanket draped over your body to fight off the chill. 

The more you talked to him, the more you liked him, and you hoped that he felt the same. Because after being with Robbie for so long, Ezra was a breath of fresh air - and conversations with him were exciting. Everything felt new, and even though you hadn’t gone into any overly personal topics with Ezra, you knew him much better than you had only a few weeks earlier. 

But knowing him also made you realize just how little you’d done with your life in comparison to what he’d done with his - and that was likely part of what you were so apprehensive about. He hadn’t reacted negatively when you’d told him what you did for work, or about your family and upbringing. He’d seemed interested, but since it was either over text or just a phone call, it was difficult to tell whether or not the responses were genuine. I hope they are. You sighed, fixing your hair one last time in the mirror and then turned away from it, walking back into your bedroom. 

You’d gone back and forth between two outfits for the previous few days, and as you looked between them one final time, you chewed on your bottom lip, sighing. You didn’t want to try too hard, but at the same time, you wanted to look nice for Ezra - because even though it wasn’t an actual first impression you were making, it was still the first time the two of you would be somewhere together on purpose - and alone. And that’s important. 

With a final sigh, you opted for the more casual of the two outfits - jeans and a scoop neck top with a fitted jacket over it - and then slipped on a pair of comfortable boots and some jewelry. He’s either going to like it … or he won’t. You sighed again, nodding at your reflection in the mirror, and then headed downstairs, reaching for your phone. 

Leaving now. Should be a little early. 

You sent him a text and then put your phone back into your bag, heading out the door. You’d offered to pick the man up and drive him to and from dinner, but he’d declined, telling you that there was no need. You hadn’t pushed, instead just agreeing to meet him at the restaurant that he’d chosen, and so only a few minutes later you were parking your car in a busy lot, heart pounding in your chest. 

It’s going to be fine. This is going to be … great. You only gave yourself a few seconds to collect your thoughts and give yourself a pep talk before getting out and locking your doors behind you, so when you stepped into the lobby and saw him waiting next to the hostess stand, you were wildly unprepared. 

He was dressed down just like you -  wearing a pair of jeans and worn boots, a comfortable shirt in a dark blue covering the top half of his body. The sleeve covering his right arm was tailored to be just as long as he needed it to be, the material stitched together to completely enclose the remaining portion of his arm. “Hello.” He saw you almost immediately, straightening up and taking a few steps toward the door, his mouth curving upward in a soft smile. “You are early. They’re still getting our table ready.” 

“That’s fine.” Looking around quickly, you finally settled your gaze on the man, returning his smile. “You look great, Ezra.” Pointing at his head, you widened your grin. “Haircut?”

“Mmmhmm.” He reached up, running his fingers through the dark locks. “Cee actually cut it for me this morning. She’s pretty good at it, and it was getting long.” You stepped closer as someone passed behind you, their elbow bumping into the center of your back - but Ezra didn’t even flinch, instead lowering his hand and using it to steady your arm, his fingers against your bicep. Shit, I - 

“Sorry about that.” Clearing your throat, you rolled your eyes, moving to step backwards. “I -” He didn’t let go, though he loosened his grip, and when you looked down, you pressed your lips together again. He didn’t let go, he - 

“Don’t apologize.” He cleared his throat, waiting until you were looking at him again to continue. “Not your fault.”

“Table for Ezra?” The young woman stepped out from behind the hostess stand, warmth in her eyes as she looked at the two of you. “We’re ready for you.” The man nodded, finally letting go of your arm, but instead of pulling his hand away from you, he held it out, palm up. Oh, he … You took it immediately, your fingers curling around his as the three of you began to walk through the crowded restaurant and toward the back. 

But rather than leading you to an empty table in the main dining room , the woman pushed open a small door and used one hand to gesture toward the single prepared table in a smaller, private space. “Ezra, what is -” He squeezed your hand once more before letting go and moving toward one of the chairs, pulling it out for you.

“I didn’t want anyone to bother us.” He shrugged as you looked up at him, the man’s tone hopeful. “I come here a lot, so -” That makes sense, then. He kept his hand on the chair as you began to scoot it toward the table, and when he was satisfied that you were settled, Ezra stepped around, taking his own seat. 

“Someone will be in to take your drink order in a few minutes.” The hostess cleared her throat. “Enjoy your meal.” She stepped back through the door, leaving the two of you alone. For a few seconds, you didn’t know what to say - unsure of whether or not you should have thanked him for the privacy or been upset. Why would I be upset, though? It’s not like I’m trying to be seen with him. 

“There’s another reason I wanted privacy.” Ezra sighed, reaching for his water glass. “I didn’t want to have to answer questions about my missing arm while we’re trying to get to know each other.” Of course. Of course that makes … 

“Well since we’re in here by ourselves, Ezra, that means I don’t have to worry about anyone but you judging what I decide to eat.” You wrinkled your nose, also taking a drink of your water. “So thank you for that.” He smiled, biting back a laugh, and you could almost feel the relief in the expression. “I wasn’t expecting this, though. It’s … it’ll be nice to get to talk to you without interruptions.” 

“I thought so too.” He nodded, dark eyes focused on you. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for every one of my fans, but sometimes … sometimes I don’t want to think about that part of it all, or answer repetitive questions about my music when I’m out and trying to be … me.”  

I understand that. “Good to know.” Arching a brow, you nodded. “I won’t ask anything about -”

“No, you’re misunderstanding me.” He leaned in, resting his elbow on the table. “You can ask whatever you want to ask. Nothing is off limits.” I seriously doubt that, but … “But I will warn you, I myself am not immune to intrigue, so -”

“It’s only fair, right?” Tilting your head to one side, you wet your lips. “Asking questions? That’s how we get to know each other.” And I want to know you, Ezra. You wouldn’t ask him anything invasive - or too invasive, anyway, but you had to admit that you were curious. Because we’ve only scratched the surface. And I’m sure he’ll want to know about Robbie, and … “Whatever you want to know, Ezra… just ask.” 

“Oh, I intend to.” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “You don’t need to tell me twice.” 

— 

An hour and a half later, you were almost done with your meal, only remnants of food left on both plates. Each of you had ordered one drink with dinner, but you’d been much too engrossed in your conversation with him to even think about getting another. 

You’d traded questions back and forth, and instead of it feeling like a job interview, it just felt like talking to an old friend. He’d told you more about his family and his life off the road and you’d filled in the gaps pertaining to your own history. You’d both grown up differently - Ezra in a smaller town, you on the outskirts of the city you both currently called home - but had similar interests in a lot of areas. 

You liked the same foods, listened  to similar music and were fans of the same types of TV shows and movies. There were only a few years between you in age, and you were pleasantly surprised to find that you both seemed to laugh at the same things, the two of you leaning back in your chairs as the conversation flowed easily between you. This is going almost too well, you thought as the server came to clear your plates, interrupting the conversation briefly and giving you a chance to watch as Ezra interacted with her. He’s relaxed, I’m having a good time… it’s not awkward. 

That was the biggest takeaway - even though it was the first time you’d spent significant time together, it didn’t feel like it. You had a feeling that he was going to ask you out again, and you planned on not hesitating to agree to a second date. But we haven’t talked about Robbie and Inumon, so… maybe not. “Hey.” He said your name, pulling you from your thoughts. “Is there anything else you want to eat or drink? You were drifting, and …” 

“I’m good. Thank you.” Tearing your eyes away from him, you shook your head at the server. “Everything was really great, though.” She nodded, telling you that she’d pass it along to the chef, and then with one final look at Ezra, who nodded twice and said that he didn’t need anything else either, she was gone again and the two of you were alone. “Thank you for dinner, Ezra. I was kind of worried that this would be awkward, just because of …” Trailing off, you swallowed hard. Just say it. “Because of how we met, and because of Rob-” 

“Not here.” He held up his hand, one finger extended. “You are very welcome, but I don’t want things and people that are in the past to become a stain on the memory of our first dinner.” What? Does that mean he wants to talk about them next time or not at all? “I have a suggestion, and please, feel free to tell me absolutely not, but …” Ezra sighed, straightening his shoulders without looking away. “There is a lounge on a lower level of my building. They’re open late. We could continue our night there, where it’s a little more comfortable.” He paused, watching your face to see your reaction. “And they don’t just serve alcohol. They have numerous other options, and -”

“Ezra?” You leaned closer, cutting him off. “Yes. On one condition.” He seemed surprised but gestured for you to continue. “You let me drive you there. There’s no reason to go separately if we’re going to the same place.” 

“If that’s what you want.” He dragged his fingers through his hair again, leaning back. “I accept that offer.” Good. I do, too. 

He paid the bill, tucking a large tip in with the receipt slip, and then the two of you made your way to where you’d parked, Ezra sliding into the front seat next to you wordlessly. “I picked Cee up, so that’s how I know where you live,” you explained as you pulled out and onto the street. “The first night we went out to dinner?” He nodded, eyes on the front window. “I don’t know what apartment you’re in or anything like that, but -”  Stop talking. Just stop. Everything is fine and you’re going to ruin it. He didn’t say anything in response but you caught Ezra grinning out of the corner of your eye at your words.

There was no reason for you to be nervous around him, and the previous hours had reaffirmed that fact. You and Ezra were more than getting along, and you knew that the more you overthought, the better the odds were that you’d spoil things for yourself. And I don’t want to do that. Tightening your hands on the wheel, you swore under your breath, Ezra’s quiet chuckle drawing your attention. Great. He’s laughing at me now. “Do I make you anxious?”

“No. Yes. I…” Wincing at how uncertain you sounded, you tapped your thumb twice against the wheel before replying. “That’s not it, Ezra. It’s kind of weird to me to think that I’m here with you because I recorded a song at a show, to be honest. And as nice as these past couple of weeks have been, the truth is that it might take me a little while to … understand that this isn’t all just because you and Cee are trying to thank me for -” 

He reached out, settling a hand against your knee and squeezed, saying your name. “We’ve already thanked you. That isn’t what this is.” He paused, his fingers relaxing, though he didn’t remove his hand. “Can I tell you something? Something embarrassing?” You nodded, eyes on the rearview mirror. There’s no way you could say anything that I’d find embarrassing, though. “This is the first actual date I’ve been on in almost five years, and I don’t really know what the fuck I’m doing.” 

“You’re doing fine, Ezra.” You spoke quietly, glancing over at him. This might be the beginning of the tough conversation topics. “But I find that hard to believe, because … and this is going to expose the hell out of me as a fan, but …” Groaning quietly, you steeled yourself for your next words. “There were pictures of you out with other women. With Inumon and with people in different cities, and -”

“Those weren’t dates, though.” He still didn’t move his hand, the heat from the man’s palm steady against your leg. “I was out with them, but they … it wasn’t because …” It was his turn to swear, his fingers twitching briefly. “It was always very clear how those situations would end, especially with the women I met at shows while I was on tour.” I’m sure it was.

“You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but …” Taking a deep breath, you rushed the words out. “But was that how it was with Inumon, too? It seemed different, at least from the pictures that were posted, but if you’re telling me that …” He said your name, stopping your words. 

“It was different with her because we know each other.” He paused, briefly. “Or I thought we did. She wasn’t a one time thing, but it was still… it wasn’t serious. And I did not ever intend for it to last.” Does that mean you hope this will? “I’d also like to make something else very clear to you, if that’s alright.” You nodded, keeping your eyes on the road as you made a turn. “I have no intention of taking you to bed tonight, or even trying to. That’s not why I asked you to have dinner. That’s not … I’m not ready to think about anything beyond this at the moment because this is hard enough for me.” Oh. That’s direct. But he said not tonight, not … never

“Well if I would have known that, Ezra,” you cleared your throat, turning your head to look at him for a few seconds as you waited at a red light. “It would have made things a lot less … nerve wracking for me.” Pressing the gas as the light changed, you looked forward again. “Not because I thought that this was going to end in a bed, but because knowing that you were just as out of practice as I am with dating would have calmed me down.” 

He scoffed at that, the sound filling your car and breaking the tension. “I’ll remember that next time.” He squeezed your leg again, the laughter subsiding. “You have my word.” 

— 

Somehow, you were everything Ezra had hoped you would be while at the same time being nothing that he’d expected. He was willing to admit, though, that that was solely on him - and the way he approached spending time with people. And the quality of people that I usually spend it with. 

You’d looked to his arm more than once, but it wasn’t in the same way most people did - staring at the empty space with pity or moving their eyes from the end of it up to his face and then back down, almost as though they were trying to imagine what he’d look like whole. Your looks were much more subtle, flicks of your eyes as you watched him reach for a fork or his drink, a longer look when he leaned back in his chair and raised his hand to run fingers through his hair. You only looked when he called attention to it, and even then your eyes didn’t linger. 

And I am grateful for that. He’d been hesitant to invite you to his building, but when the conversation had shifted toward the topics you’d both been careful to avoid for the majority of the night, it had been the only thing he could think of. He didn’t want to be too forward with you, or to have you believe that all he wanted from the night was your company in his bed, but Ezra needed you to know that when he’d said nothing was off limits when it came to conversation, he hadn’t been lying. Just not… here. 

The lounge was more private, more relaxed than a table in the back room of a restaurant, and Ezra hoped that with that backdrop, bringing up your ex and the most recent of his mistakes would sting less and leave both of you with a positive memory of the night - and what he could only hope was the first of many dates. 

Because even though he wasn’t lying when he confessed that sex was off the table for that night, Ezra would have been lying if he’d said that he wasn’t thinking about it in the future. Who wouldn’t with her?

In the months following the accident, Ezra’s mind had been almost solely focused on two things: getting better and ensuring that Cee was taken care of. And one of those has been much easier than the other. He sighed as you turned into the driveway of his building, and when he glanced down, Ezra saw that his hand was still resting on your knee - his thumb moving over the dark denim in a slow pattern. 

Your nerves around him were endearing, and even though he understood when you told him why you were nervous to be out with him, Ezra wanted to eliminate that feeling from your mind before the night ended. Because the video might be why we are here now, but I don’t want her to think that it’s why I want to be here again. “Where can I park, Ezra? Is there a guest lot, or -” 

“Anywhere.” He said your name, looking over at you. “There’s usually more open spaces toward the back of the building this late, but …” He trailed off, removing his hand from your leg after one final squeeze. “Anywhere is fine.” 

He led you across the asphalt and toward the main entrance a few seconds later, your right hand held in his left. By the time you were inside the building and heading down one of the long hallways, Ezra could tell that you were less anxious and relaxing back into the mood you’d been in during dinner. Good. “So do you come down here a lot? It looks like they have food, too.” 

“I do.” He shrugged, lifting both shoulders and letting them drop. “They’re open late. And the medication that they have me on for my arm keeps me awake well into the night.” He watched your face fall, but Ezra was quick to continue, saying your name. “It’s not a bad thing, because it’s very similar to my tour routine. Since I cannot write or play right now, talking with the bartenders keeps me out of trouble when I should be fast asleep.” 

“I don’t think a couple of bartenders could keep you out of trouble, Ezra.” You squeezed his hand as you replied, turning your head toward him and raising one eyebrow. “But I bet they appreciate the opportunity to stay busy trying.” He laughed - hard - at that, Ezra stopping in his tracks and tugging on your hand to stop you, too, so that he he wasn’t forced to let go. It felt good, the sound rumbling from his chest and warming his cheeks, and as you joined him a few seconds later with a laugh of your own, Ezra realized how much he’d needed a night - and a laugh - like the one he was having. In general, or with her? Blinking as he caught his breath, Ezra found his answer in the way you used your free hand to slowly wipe beneath one eye, brushing away a tear. With her. “It wasn’t that funny.”

“It was.” Closing his eyes, he inhaled, holding his breath. “Come on, I don’t want it to get too late and have you tell me you need to get home before we even sit down.” 

Only a few minutes later, you were seated on a small couch on the outdoor patio of the lounge, a tall space heater situated just behind the furniture and casting a warm glow over the two of you. You’d removed your jacket at dinner and hadn’t bothered to put it on again, and Ezra let himself look at you, giving you the full intensity of his attention. If I’m lucky, she won’t try and pretend like it’s not happening.

You both ordered a drink from the menu, and Ezra ordered his favorite dessert for you to share, hoping that you’d enjoy it as much as he did. The bar was busier than usual, which meant more noise, but you didn’t seem to mind, scooting in even closer so that as the two of you talked, it could be at a reasonable volume. 

And he didn’t mind, either - the man enjoying every second of your proximity in a way that he hadn’t desired anyone’s presence since before the last tour had started. But the ease didn’t last, because once you had your drink in hand - and had tasted the dessert, you said his name, your tone changing. Here we go. “I know we’ve talked about it already a little bit, but …” You closed your eyes. “I really feel like I need to apologize for the way Robbie treated you. I know that I’m not responsible for his behavior, but the fact that he was like that while I was with him is unacceptable. I should have said something when it happened, but -’

“No, you shouldn’t have.” He reached for his glass, thinking. “We know what he was doing and why he did it. But if you’d said anything, it would have been far more trouble for you than it was worth.” 

“Yeah, but it might have forced an end to things weeks earlier, Ezra.” You laughed, the sound bitter, but he didn’t get a chance to speak before you did again. “It was shitty of me to sit there and say nothing. I knew what he thought of you, and I knew exactly what he was trying to pull, and I put up with it for too fucking long, and -” 

“Well you’re not putting up with it anymore, are you?” He leaned closer, cocking an eyebrow and waiting for the shake of your head. “That’s what’s important.” He titled his head to the side, winking at you. “And to be absolutely honest with you, at the risk of sounding conceited, I’m used to men and women getting defensive about their partners around me. Ask Cee. She’ll tell you.” You bit back a laugh at that, eyes going wide. “And he wasn’t wrong.” He went about things the wrong way, but he was still right to be a little wary.

“What?” Your confusion was genuine, and even as Ezra shifted closer to you, it lingered. “Ezra, what are -” He’d made a career out of baring his emotions through his guitar’s music and lyrics, and even though the conversation with you wasn’t related to either of those things, he had no reason to change his behavior. 

“I was flirting with you.” He wet his lower lip, unblinking. “In that restaurant, right in front of him, but also … onstage.” He saw your breath catch, watched the way you froze beside him, and Ezra couldn’t hold back his smile. “I wrote that email as a genuine thank you for sending The Queen’s Lair to me, but as soon as Cee told me what the video you had was, I remembered you.” That was the truth, too, as unbelievable as it may have seemed. 

Looking into a crowd from the stage was always hit or miss for the man. Sometimes, the lights allowed Ezra to see the people at the shows from the front of the crowd to the back of the venue, while others only made it possible for him to clearly make out the first few rows of people. Many of the faces blurred together, and most were forgettable, at least in terms of him remembering them on a personal level after the show ended and he was offstage. 

But his banter with you while onstage was real, the double meaning of the words meant to entice you, even a little bit, and give you something more to take away from the concert. He’d really hoped that you wouldn’t post the video anywhere, but wouldn’t have been that mad if you had, because he understood what it felt like to be a fan of someone and have access to something that no one else did. Especially when it’s possible that there won’t be any new original music from me again. 

There was a momentary pang of fear that bloomed in his belly then, a sharp pain that flared from the point of impact that was still a freshly healed mass of scar tissue, but Ezra swallowed that down, instead focusing on the way that you were looking at him - a mixture of disbelief and barely concealed desire on your face, and it emboldened him to reach for you, taking your hand in his again. “Actually, part of me hoped that I’d get to meet you in person after that show.” He paused, feeling a slight satisfaction at the way your eyes flashed at his admission. “I was disappointed when - months later -  Birdie told me that you were with someone, and especially disappointed when I met Robbie at that restaurant because you seemed so different around him than you did in your messages or at the show.” 

“Ezra…” You were staring, unable to look away from his face. “That isn’t…” Swearing quietly, you finally lowered your head. “Is this real life?”

“Yes.” He answered right way, still holding your hand. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Pulling your hand free, you readjusted your position next to him - not moving away, but instead getting more comfortable, your leg pressed against his with purpose. 

“That last show wasn’t the only time I’ve ever seen you live, Ezra.” Swirling your straw in your drink, you looked down at the liquid and then over at him. “That was the fifth time. What? How did I never … “Three of them were with the full band on earlier tours.” He nodded, waiting. “And the last two were solo shows. The first was when you played two or three songs at that street fair a couple cities over, and the second was the night I recorded.” 

“I wasn’t looking closely enough at the audience, then, because I - “

 “I was never near the front before.” You closed your eyes, still looking down. “Just the last time, because I finally decided that it wouldn’t matter.” What are you talking about? “I’ve wanted to meet you for so long, but I was always afraid to.” What? Why? “It’s not a secret, Ezra, that you seem to find … company after shows. And I love your music so damn much that if we’d been talking and you would have ended the conversation or waved me off to take someone back to your room or onto the bus when you had one? It would have ruined everything for me, and -” 

Your assessment of him wasn’t wrong, and Ezra winced as he heard you explain it out loud. It was true that he’d used shows to find companionship - either from people reaching out on social media beforehand or after meeting them for the first time in whatever city they happened to be in, but he hated the idea that he’d potentially deterred people that were actual fans just because he’d wanted sex. “I’m sorry that you thought that would happen.” He rubbed at his chin with the tips of his fingers. “And I hope I didn’t ruin -”

“No, you didn’t!” Hurrying to reassure him, you set your drink down, reaching for his arm. “That’s why I chose not to come around the back of the venue after shows, or to show up early enough to get a really good spot. I wanted to make sure I’d keep enjoying the music. And now that I know you a little, I don’t think you ever would have just … blown someone off, but -” 

“I might have. I won’t lie to you.” He rubbed at one knee, shaking his head back and forth quickly. “But not on purpose.” Frowning, he ran back through the previous few years in his mind. “And there were actually a lot fewer people that I took back with me than you might think. If it happened, it happened. I wasn’t looking in every city.” 

“You don’t need to explain yourself.” Your expression let him know you meant what you were telling him. “That’s not why I brought it up.” You went silent, and Ezra took a minute to think about what you’d said. Wait, though. What changed? He voiced the question, ending it with the use of your name, and when you laughed nervously, giving him an answer, he wanted to kick himself. “Inumon. Inumon and Robbie. I was dating someone seriously, and I thought you were, too, so I figured it was the right time to get a little closer, since I wouldn’t be as tempted to seek you out after a show for any reason. And if we did end up meeting, knowing that we were both with someone would have kept me from making a fool of myself. You’re good looking, Ezra, but I had no interest in ruining any relationship, especially my own.” 

“And it worked out, just like it should have.” He spoke quietly, nodding. “You stood in the front. I saw you right away, and because of it, I have … a recorded copy of what could be the last new song I’ll ever write and play.” 

“Ezra, you’re going to play again.” Scooting even closer, you ducked your head to meet his eyes. “I know you will. The Queen’s Lair isn’t it for you.” He hoped you were right - hoped that after some time, and the integration of his new arm to the rest of his body, he’d learn to play again, eventually getting back to a similar level of ability as before the accident. 

“You and Cee…” He sighed, smiling. “The two of you are so sure that -” 

“You’re too talented to let something like this stop you forever, Ezra.” It was you that reached out that time, your hand resting on his thigh. “And if Cee’s telling you the same thing, then it’s got to be true, right?” 

“Right.” He didn’t want to argue with you about it, especially since a small part of him agreed with you, and so Ezra leaned forward, setting his mostly empty glass on the table and then taking your hand in his, sliding his palm flat against yours. “I hope I didn’t offend you with anything that I said tonight, especially about … myself.” 

“Offend me?” You squeezed his hand. “Ezra, part of me still can’t believe I’m sitting here right now, and I feel like the fact that I’m a fan has got to be weird for you, because -”

“It isn’t.” He widened his smile. “Because you’re not treating me like you’re a fan. I said you could ask me anything, and you haven’t even tried to lead the conversation anywhere personal.” Well. “You haven’t tried to sneak a picture of yourself with me in the background, or asked about the band. You haven’t even really asked about Inumon, and that is a surprise to me, because -”

“It’s none of my business.” He watched as you chewed on your lip, pulling your hand free and rubbing it against your thigh, looking down. “We had dinner, Ezra. Dinner and a couple drinks, and that doesn’t give me the right to question you about the women you -”

“But I know about Robbie.” He adjusted the position of his body, angling it to face you and then resting his hand on the back of the couch, leaning closer. This is where you may make a fool of yourself, Ezra. “And if we’re going to see each other again, I’m sure there are things you’d like to know. I have more to ask you, but -”

“You want to see me again?” Blinking slowly at him, you paused. “Even though -”

“Of course.” He moved his hand from the couch to your back, fingers trailing over the material of the shirt you were wearing. “I wouldn’t have invited you back here with me if I didn’t. It would have been very simple for us to say goodnight at the restaurant.” 

“It would have.” He watched the light change in your eyes then, surprise replaced with excitement, and Ezra briefly wondered how long it had been since you’d been truly happy with someone - and if things had ever been entirely good with Robbie. They must have been. They lived together. They were dating for a year. They - “I’d like that, Ezra.” You didn’t look away, eyes locked with his. “Maybe you could come over and I can cook for you.” 

“I’m sure Cee would appreciate another night without me.” The corners of his mouth lifting in a small smile, Ezra nodded twice. “Another night to -”

“She could come, too.” You were quick to continue, a laugh bubbling from between your lips. “If …. Well, I guess she’d need to know that you and I were -” 

“You didn’t tell her?” Cocking his head to the side, Ezra stopped moving his hand. “She didn’t tell me that she knew who I was going out with tonight, but I figured you would have said something.” 

“No way.” Your jaw dropped. “No, I thought that if you wanted her to know, you’d say something. And it was just dinner, so … I didn’t want to make it a big deal before I knew whether or not we’d get along, so she doesn’t even know that we’ve been talking, and -”

“Did we?” His smile growing, Ezra moved closer. “Did we get along? Is there something to tell her?” He saw how torn you were about giving him an answer, but since there was only a short pause between his words and your reply, Ezra knew that you weren’t too torn. Good. 

“We did. And …” You steadied yourself, glancing up and then back at him. “I don’t know. I’m sure she knows Inumon because of the band, so even though she’s the one that sort of -”

“Cee is no fan of Inumon’s.” You gasped at that admission but snapped your mouth shut, waiting. “And I think she will be thrilled to find out for sure that it was you I had dinner with tonight.” He squeezed your shoulder, hand resting there. “You made quite the impression on her, and that’s saying something.” 

“Good.” Swallowing, you let out a breath. “I like her, too. She’s been through a lot in the last couple months with Damon, and so -” If you only knew. Cee’s relationship with Damon wasn’t his to discuss, and even though there were still things Ezra didn’t know about it, he hoped that at some point, the girl would open up. And maybe if it’s not with me, it’ll be with you. 

There was more that he wanted to say but before he could, he winced, his hand leaving your arm and immediately going back to the covered end of his missing one. Ouch. He squeezed the muscle in an attempt to stop the sharp burst of pain centered there. “I’m sorry.” He felt his chest growing tight and Ezra swore under his breath, closing his eyes. “Sometimes it just … out of nowhere. I -’

“Do you need to get back upstairs, Ezra?” When he opened his eyes, he saw genuine concern in yours, your entire body on alert. “Take medicine, or something? You said that you had pain medication, would that help?” 

“It would. It usually does. But I wasn’t - I didn’t want to end the night like this. I can wait. I’m only an elevator ride away from -”

“No.” You stood, holding a hand out to him. “No, Ezra. Don’t sit here in pain just to talk to me for a few more minutes. It’s not worth it.” Maybe it is to me. “Do you need me to pay for what we ordered? I can, since you bought dinner.”

“They add it onto my monthly rent.” He pushed himself to his feet, looking over at the bar. “I can pay as I go, but tonight … tonight I’m just going to let it ride.” His arm still hurt, though the pain had faded enough so that he could ignore it - mostly. The two of you made your way back to the doors and then stepped into the lobby, the sounds of the bar fading into the background. “I’m sorry that this happened. I thought I’d be alright for a little while longer, but I -” He hissed at a second burst of pain, his palm pressed flat against the meat of his bicep. “Kevva help me, this is bullshit, I -” 

“Ezra, let me help you get to your apartment.” He heard panic in your voice, even though you tried not to let it show, and despite the pain, he felt a wave of affection for you. “Or at the very least, let me call Cee. She can -”

“No. Not Cee. She’s done too much already.” This wasn’t supposed to happen. He reached out blindly, jabbing at the “up” arrow. “I’ll be fine. I -’

“Please?” You stepped closer. “I don’t need to come in or anything, but just … if you won’t let me call her, let me at least make sure you’re inside. You look like you’re in a lot of pain, and I … I don’t want to -” Gritting his teeth as the doors slid open, Ezra motioned for you to step into the elevator. “What floor?”

“Twenty four.” He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes as he squeezed his arm. “Near the top.” He had no idea why his body was betraying him; he hadn’t experienced pain so severe in weeks, and for it to put a sudden end to the night he was having with you angered him more than he could put into words. “I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” You were facing him, concern on your face. “You’re in pain, Ezra. It happens. Your body’s still healing, I’m not mad.” 

“I am.” You didn’t try to stop the laugh you let out, and moments later, Ezra realized how annoyed he sounded, the man letting himself smile - just a little. “I wasn’t…” Sighing as the doors opened and the two of you stepped into the hallway, cleared his throat. “I thought we still had time tonight.”

“It’s getting late.” You were next to him - not touching him but there if he needed you. “I should get home.” I wish you didn’t have to. He stopped in front of his door and turned his head to the side, looking at you. “This you?”

“It is.” He reached for the doorknob, fingers closing around it. “Now that you’re here, I … can I ask you a favor?” You nodded immediately, shifting on both feet. “Cee might be asleep. And I don’t want to have to wake her up. Could you … could you come in with me? Just until I take my medication, and then you can leave.” It’s not entirely a lie. There’s some truth to it. 

“Sure.” You didn’t hesitate, agreeing. “If that’s what you need.” Relief flooded him as he twisted the knob and then pushed the door open, the interior of the apartment lit only by a few dim lights. 

“They’re in the kitchen. Right there by the sink.” The two of you walked across the room and stopped next to the counter, Ezra reaching for the familiar bottle and fumbling with the lid. “So I shouldn’t …” Trailing off, he gritted his teeth as he fought the pain to open the bottle, realizing that his hand was shaking. “What the fuck is -”

“If you wanted me to come in, you just had to ask.” You reached for the bottle, opening it without issue and then handing it back to him before you moved to the sink, filling a clean glass with cold water. “I was just following your lead. You said you had no plans to invite me up to -”

“I didn’t.” Panic rose in him, the man momentarily forgetting about the pain as he tried to get your attention. “That is not what this -” But he stopped at the sight of your smirking face, fingers wrapped around the smooth surface of the glass. Oh, she … one point for you. “That was a good one. Had me going for a few.” 

“Just wanted to distract you until you could take your medicine, Ezra.” He popped the pill into his mouth and then took the water from you, tilting his head back as he downed the cool liquid. “Did it work?”

“It did.” He swallowed the last of the water and then set the glass down, closing his eyes. “Thank you.” It would take a few minutes for the painkiller to do its job, but Ezra spent long seconds listening for Cee and trying to figure out if she was even home. Is that the water running? She must be showering. “Despite the way things ended tonight, I hope you had a good time. I did. And I was being truthful when I said I wanted to see you again, so I hope you’ll agree to that.”  

“Yeah.” Arms crossed over your chest, you nodded. “It’s a date.” The pain was still there but Ezra ignored it as he closed the distance between the two of you, wanting at the very least to wrap his arm around you and hug you goodbye. I want to kiss her, but … “Let me know when you’re free. I really will cook for you if you want.” You wet your lips and Ezra stared at the motion of your tongue, his heartbeat quickening. I want to do more than kiss her. “I should go. It really is late, and I’m sure you want to get ready for bed and let that pill -” 

“Is it alright if I kiss you goodnight?” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d asked to kiss someone - it usually just happened, and more often than not, it wasn’t Ezra that initiated the act. “I want -’

“Yes.” You nodded, one hand flat on the counter and the other reaching out for his hip, Ezra’s hand rising toward your face. “Yeah, I’d… Ezra.” There was barely any space between you, and even in the dim lighting from beneath the cabinets, he could see the way your pupils had expanded, could hear the quickened breaths you were taking. She wants this as much as I do. 

He said your name once as he leaned in, the man’s eyes slowly closing as he angled his head, and then you touched him - your fingers curling against his side. You hummed, the man’s fingertips brushing against the skin of your cheek, skin warm to the touch. Just a kiss. Just a goodnight kiss, and - 

“Ezra? Is that you?” You both froze at the sound of a new voice, and Ezra’s stomach dropped, a quiet gasp from you loud in his ears. “I was in the shower, and …” He turned his head to the side fighting back a groan at the sight of Cee standing at the end of the hallway, her hair wet and her eyes wide as she looked between the two of you. “Holy shit, it was you that he was going out with! I knew it!” 

— 

You backed away from the man quickly, like you’d been doing something wrong and then turned your attention to Cee, the girl’s eyes moving back and forth between you and Ezra. Guess she knows now. “It is me, little bird. Me and our friend here.” He gestured toward you, releasing a long breath. “We were having a final drink downstairs when my arm betrayed me and required medication.” He looked at you, giving you a soft smile. “And she wouldn’t let me come up by myself in case I needed assistance, so here we are.” 

“Does it still hurt?” Cee stepped closer, looking at Ezra with concern. “Do you need -”

“I took my pills.” He reached for the bottle, lifting it and giving it a shake. “I just need to wait for them to kick in.” She nodded and then turned her full attention to you, the concern turning into amusement. 

“You didn’t tell me.” She bit her lip, trying to hold back a smile. “We talked all week, and -”

“Didn’t want to get too ahead of myself, Cee. It was only dinner. One dinner, and I wanted to give Ezra a chance to tell you if he chose to.”  

“Hmm. And now you’re here, in his apartment.” Yeah? Why is that such a surprise? She tilted her head to the right, grinning. “I’m glad you went out together tonight. Don’t let me interrupt you two. I just heard voices, and -”

“Everything’s fine, Birdie.” Ezra leaned back against the edge of the counter, eyeing the girl. “We were just saying goodnight.” We were. 

“Oh! Yeah, alright.” Cee winced and then lifted her hands in surrender, backing away. “Have a good night, you two. I’m sorry I -”

“Don’t apologize.” You waved her off, heartbeat finally slowing. “It was good to see you, Cee.” She was gone only a few seconds later, the sound of her door closing behind her barely audible from down the hallway - and then you turned toward Ezra. “Guess she knows now.” 

He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “She certainly does.” But the laughter faded soon after, Ezra once again closing the distance between the two of you. “It’s a shame that we were interrupted.” His voice low, you could hear regret in it. “That was almost … a perfect ending to the night.” Does that mean he’s not going to try again? 

“It gives me something to look forward to, then.” It was a gamble, but he didn’t seem to take it poorly, instead reaching out for your hand again and linking his fingers with yours. 

“That makes two of us.” He led you to the door and then stopped before you could open it, saying your name. “Let me know when you make it home?” Assuring him that you would, you reached behind you to make sure that you still had your phone and car keys, shifting back and forth on your feet. “I have two weeks off from rehearsing with The Fringe, so if you’re free at any time, I -”

“I’m usually out of work by 5 during the week, and don’t work on weekends unless it’s an emergency.” You were still holding his hand, Ezra’s grip firm. “And I meant it about cooking for you. I can do that during the week. Maybe…” You didn’t know if you were overstepping, but you decided to go for it anyway. “You could come over after your physical therapy session? I know you and Cee usually order out that day, so I could save you some time and money?” 

“I’m not always in the best shape after those sessions.” Pulling his hand free, he raised it to the back of his neck, looking off to the right. “I can’t promise I’d be good company.” 

“It was just a suggestion. And Ezra, it’s not a surprise that those days are tough for you. That’s why I’m offering.” He’s going to say no. I fucked it up, Kevva help me. I - 

“My sessions are usually on Tuesdays. If there’s a doctor’s visit, they’re earlier in the day, but when it’s just therapy, like it will be for the next few, I’m usually the last patient, so I finish around five. If we came back here and changed before heading over, would that give you enough time to get things ready?” Plenty of time. That’s perfect. 

“Send over a couple dinner options, I need to know what you and Cee want to eat, but yeah. That’s… that’s more than enough time, Ezra. And you don’t need to change. If your sessions are at the same hospital I met Cee at, it’s actually closer to my place than your apartment is.” Don’t push him. “Just let me know. Whatever’s easier for you.” But that means it’ll be four days until I see him again. You felt a pang of sadness at the realization, but forced yourself to keep a straight face, waiting to see how he’d reply. 

“You’ll hear from me as soon as I talk with Cee.” His hand dropped and as it did, skimmed along your arm. Lips parting at the feeling of his fingertips - calloused from years of playing guitar - running along your skin, you stepped closer to the man once more, the reaction an unconscious one. “I had an incredible time with you tonight.” Ezra said your name, calling your attention back to his face. “Thank you for that.” 

“You’re welcome.” You weren’t proud of the fact that your voice wavered, but he didn’t seem to mind, the man’s hand moving from your arm to your hip and guiding you closer before it slid around to your waist. He pulled you close and you wound both arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. You felt the remaining portion of his right arm bump against your side, but apart from that it was a typical hug, the man’s chest broad and firm as it met yours, his fingers splayed over your back. 

He held you close for longer than you thought he would, and with some shock you realized that it was likely the first time he’d hugged anyone after the accident - apart from Cee, and maybe some of his friends. And Inumon. Because I’m sure she… Pushing that thought to the side, you focused on him - on the way he smelled; cologne spicy and fresh, a hint of shampoo lingering in his hair. He was warm, too, the man’s body radiating heat, and you would have gladly stayed locked in his embrace for much longer … but Ezra pulled back, his stubbled cheek dragging against your smooth one before you felt his lips on your cheek - pressed against skin that still tingled from the rasp of his beard.

You tried to hold still but the kiss shocked you, your head jerking slightly to the side - and that’s when it happened: his lips against the corner of your mouth, barely making contact before he pulled away. Ezra’s eyes were glinting in the low light when you met them, and even though he loosened his hold on you, he didn’t make any move to step backwards. “You should go. It’s late. And what kind of a man would I be if I kept you out into the -” 

“Goodnight, Ezra.” Unwinding your arms from his neck, you let your fingers trail over it, the ends of his hair soft beneath your fingers. Wonder if the blonde is just as soft. “Thank you for dinner.” Turning away from him you reached for the doorknob and twisted it, pulling it all the way open so that light spilled into the apartment from the hallway. Once outside, you turned to look at him, the man’s arm raised above his head so that he could lean on the doorframe. You caught a glimpse of tanned skin near his waist and forced yourself to avert your eyes. Not the time. “Hope your arm’s feeling better.”

“It is.” He nodded, shoulders relaxing. “Text me as soon as you get home.” You promised him that you would, and then turned again, heading for the elevator. 

Once the doors shut behind you, you slumped against the wall and let out a gasp. Not because you were unhappy - but because you were overwhelmed. The night had gone much differently than you’d thought it would, but every second had been better than the previous one. And he almost kissed me. We almost… 

Logically, it made no sense. You’d just broken up with a long term boyfriend, and even though he’d been cheating, part of you still thought that you should have been more upset over it. And I’m not. You were attracted to Ezra and had enjoyed your time with him - much more than you’d enjoyed any other first date that you’d ever been on, and you thought that that meant something. Yeah, that you’re getting ahead of yourself. 

“But maybe I’m not.” You whispered the words as you exited out into the lobby, eyes moving back to the entrance of the bar. In a split second, you made a decision, striding back over and heading straight for the smooth wood of the main serving area. It only took a second for one of the bartenders to step in front of you, her lips painted a gorgeous shade of red that stood out against her skin. “Hi. I wanted to pay an open tab from earlier? We had to leave a little abruptly, so -”

“Ezra’s tab?” She leaned closer, blinking. “I saw you both leave and was worried. He doesn’t usually just walk out without saying goodbye.” 

“His arm was bothering him.” He said that he’s talked to them about it, so… “Needed to get back to his apartment and take care of it. But I’d like to close out the check, even though he said that you usually just add it to his monthly rent. Can you do that?” She eyed you for a few seconds and then nodded, reaching below the bar and bringing out a small tablet before tapping a few times on the screen. 

“We take cash, or if you’d like to use a chip you can just tap it against the screen here.” Spinning the device to face you, you eyed it - and the total - for only a moment before you held out your hand, pressing the tip of your ring finger against the screen and waiting for the accompanying beep to lift it. “Great. Thanks. No signature needed since you paid with your chip, so -”

“Can I leave a tip?” Staring down at the numbers, you did some quick math. “There’s no line here for -” Her fingers flew over the screen again and the familiar options popped up. “Great.” You finished moments later, double-tapping with a different finger to confirm the transaction, and then you looked back up, giving the woman another smile. “Anything else?”

“Nope!” Tucking the tablet back beneath the bar, the women watched you in silence for a few seconds and then spoke again, her words carefully measured. “Ezra’s in here a lot. But he’s never brought anyone else with him except for Cee. And even with her, I’ve never seen him the way he was tonight.” 

“What do you mean?” Confused, you rested both hands on the smooth surface, waiting. “I don’t -” 

“I’ve never seen him as … content as he was tonight. Never as happy.” She leaned closer, eyes locked with yours. “I’ve known that man for years, and he’s never smiled at anyone in here the way he was smiling tonight, even before his injury.” Oh, that … that changes things. Even though we were talking about … “So thank you for putting that look on his face. Kevva and all her Idols know he needs it.”

She didn’t wait for a response from you before she turned back to her coworker, leaving you standing alone - and in shock. She has no reason to lie to me. You stood there for a few seconds longer and then walked away from the bar, heading back for the parking lot, thoughts swirling around in your head. 

All in all it had been a great night for you - even factoring in the interrupted kiss. And he’s coming for dinner next week. He wants to see me again. By the time you were buckled in behind the wheel, you were grinning - and feeling much lighter than you had in months. 

—

Tag list coming separately! 

[windynebula]

OC Meme - Delano Yamada

Tagged by: @artilaz

Tagging: If you want to do this, you're tagged.

B A S I C S

Full name: Delano Yamada

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay, demiromantic and somewhere on the ace spectrum

Pronouns: He/him

O T H E R

Birthplace: Lightmore City, Lower Middle Levels, Northern Quadrant

Job: Guard at Lucky Jack's Casino, sex worker, body guard, guitarist for Digital Beast

Phobias: He's scared of women, especially the glamorous milf-type.

Guilty pleasures: He doesn't feel shame, so none.

Hobbies: Playing the guitar, taking his dog Fang to the dog park.

M O R A L S

Alignment: Chaotic good

Sins: Passivity

Virtues: Kindness, generosity

T H I S  O R  T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: ShadowSong (Delano/Maurice/Orlando) (@goatskids ping)

Acceptable Ships: Delano/Maurice, Delano/Orlando, Delano/Daxton, Delano/Ignacio, Delano/Finley, Delano/Jun-Seo

OT3: Delano/Maurice/Orlando

Brotp: Delano&Daxton, Delano&Antonio, Delano&Benjamin, Delano&Martina, Delano&Stella, Delano&Sara, Delano&Ignacio, Delano&Fang, Delano&Asahi, Delano&Ezra, Delano&Isabella, Delano&Daisuke, Delano&Lorenzo, Delano&Beatrice, Delano&Lillith, Delano&Finley (one sided lol), Delano&Imani, Delano/Jun-Seo

Notp: Delano/Lieselotte. Delano/women in general.

B A C K S T O R Y

I'm just going to plug my Toyhouse here lol

And a bonus OC because I've had some Earl brainworms lately.

B A S I C S

Full name: Earl Wyatt

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: He/him

O T H E R

Birthplace: Lightmore City, Upper Middle Levels, Southern Quadrant

Job: Sniper for Soldiers of Cleanliness (a task force that eliminates spontaneously mutated people)

Phobias: Mason, to some degree

Guilty pleasures: Casual sex, sweets

Hobbies: Trying out new foods and writing a food blog.

M O R A L S

Alignment: Lawful good

Sins: Self-denial, passivity, repression

Virtues: Diligence, tenacity

T H I S  O R  T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: Earl/Victor (@goatskids ping again lol)

Acceptable Ships: Earl/Miguel, Earl/Vito, Earl/Wilmar, Earl/Haddaq, Earl/Penny, Earl/Jessie

OT3: Earl/Vic/Haddaq

Brotp: Earl&Helen, Earl&Tommaso, Earl&Whisper, Earl&Yuuji

Notp: Earl/Mason, Earl/Emeric, Earl&Emeric (platonic), Earl&His coworkers

B A C K S T O R Y

Earl received a strict upbringing along with Mason. Their father clearly favored Mason because he on some level detected that Earl was autistic and queer even before Earl himself could understand it. Mason, of course, parroted their father's homophobia and ableism, which shoved Earl deeper into the closet.

When Earl grew up, he got a job at an office, where he thrived. However, he got fired for being autistic, so he needed a new job. Mason pulled some strings and got Earl a place in Soldiers of Cleanliness. Earl got very good at his new job, but he hates it.

[kiingdomforakiss]

New muses I'm adding. Like this for a starter/starters from these babies.

Pearl Rain Cohen- Suki Waterhouse. 31. Straight. Sugar baby. Sister to Peach Cohen. They share the same mom. Doesn't speak to her parents. They are in a religious commune.

Remy Ro Marren- Will Harrison. Son of @atrickrtreat's Mary Jane Kane and my Zeke Marren. Guitarist for the bank Freak Kingdom. 26. Bisexual. He LOVES his girls crazy. Like....CRAZY crazy.

Honor Camille Soren- Camila Morrone. Daughter of @atrickrtreat's Jensen Soren and my Adrianna Montgomery. 25. Straight. Bartender. Working at getting a degree as well. Mostly online classes. Loves the idea of being a mother.

Warren Ezra Lockwood- Will Harrison. 26. Son of @atrickrtreat's Hazel Bennett-Leach & my Wyatt Lockwood. Straight. Cinematographer.

Warrick Kreed Reynolds- Joseph Quinn. 29. Straight. Guitarist. Isn't currently touring with any band, but is desperate to do it. Has always wanted to be in the music business since his family is so involved with. Son of @atrickrtreat's Simon Reynolds and my Pearl Cohen.

Bowie Bug Leery- Madelyn Cline. 25. Daughter of my Honor Soren and @ghostsxagain's Zeppelin Leery. Bicurious. Unemployed. Unsure of what she wants to do for a living. Has been going from job to job. Her parents support her and just want what's best for her.

Laynie Daffodil Leery- Rain Spencer. 24. Daughter of my Honor Soren and @ghostsxagain's Zeppelin Leery. Record store employee with her twin sister, Stevie. Very flirtacious. Polysexual.

Presely Moon Leery- Adelaide Kane. 32. Daughter of my Honor Soren and @ghostsxagain's Zeppelin Leery. Guitarist for up and coming band. Pansexual.

Jairus Burton- Spencer Charnas. 37. Funeral home owner. Reserved for @atrickrtreat.

Emmett Timothy Meyers- Josh Whitehouse. 33. Straight. Bicurious, possibly. Music producer. Has been obsessed with music since he was little. His mom was constantly playing music around the house. He really loves the music from the 40s-80s.

Niko Gabriel Godinez- Sebastian Chacon. 29. Pansexual. High school english teacher. Fell in love with reading because of his teacher. Decided he wanted to do the same for others. Is terrible during parent/teacher conferences that he tries his best to not do them.

Zoella Lorraine Barnes. 24. Bisexual. Daughter of my Honor Soren and @atrickrtreat's Troy Barnes. Maid. Uses work to focus in cleaning to help with her anxiety. Has really bad social anxiety. She has a really hard time making friends.

[unitedsongbird]

Don't Judge Me In Budapest

Hello readers and welcome to another brief write-up. Let's dive right in and discuss the brilliance of this recording track from a talented artist.

In February 2019, he won the Brit Award for British Male Solo Artist. Since 2013, his music flows in the gardens of folk pop, soul, blues, and alternative rock. I think he is one of the most compelling and powerful recent vocalists around (opinion).

His biggest music influences are folk legend Bob Dylan, blues legend Howlin' Wolf, and the incredible Lead Belly. He is English guitarist, singer and songwriter George Ezra. In 2014, song titled "Budapest" was nominated for song of the year from the British Music Awards. I enjoy this track, pleasing energy, acoustically inclined, and eminently hummable!

[bonezone44]

I'm a firm believer that Ezra (Prospect) and Primus (the band) go hand in hand. The storytelling. The lyrics. The weirdness. The slap-bass. (would Ezra play slap bass or would he be the guitarist that's just steadily making noise over the rhythm and drums? no one knows!)

LYRICS:

"Well, I remember it as though it were a meal ago"

Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter may have nestled its way into his mighty throat Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator Tommy the Cat had many a story to tell But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did

Well, she came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the oldest of the tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days The sight was beyond belief Many a head snapped for double - even triple - takes as this vivacious feline made her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbies were known to hang out

They hung in droves. Such a multitude of masculinity could only be found in one place And that was O'Malley's Alley

The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended) But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into the heart of the alley She knew what she wanted She was lookin' for that stud bull, she was lookin' for that he-cat And that was me

Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee

[Repeat until the end:] Say baby do you wanna lay down with me Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side Hey baby do you wanna lay down with me Say baby Say baby