#guillermo needs to figure out what he wants now that he knows the one thing he's yearned for since he was a child wasn’t what he expected

[archiveoftragedies]

There are other paths to immortality. Other than vampirism I mean. The jinn is still here even though he isn't serving a narrative purpose other than showing us how Nandor can fix problems by himself now; but jinns are lonely servants and Guillermo is no longer alone or a servant, and he won't be again. Anyone else could still use the lamp, make a wish or two, but after two seasons of be careful what you wish for, and of learning how to work for the things you want, I don't think that will be the solution to any future problems. It all boils down to what Guillermo wants, and who he is. And to answer that, and stay with me for a second here, we might want to consider some mythical beings that get to live forever without killing people (or becoming like Derek). For the sake of the argument

[kjthenbee]

I know a lot of us are upset about Nandermo not becoming canon at the end of this season (I am too), but I’m honestly not surprised by this. I could tell from the beginning and as the season went on that they were still not at a place where that could happen naturally and realistically, especially with the secret Guillermo had been keeping the entire season.

My sincere hope is that for season 6, now that Guillermo knows that he doesn’t truly want to be a vampire but that he cares about the vamps and wants to stay with them, especially with Nandor, he’s going to have to reevaluate his relationship with them and his “master”.

What’s the point in serving Nandor anymore if it’s not with the goal of becoming a vampire? We know he was doing it this season to keep up appearances (and because he didn’t want to leave him), but now, everyone knows that he doesn’t want to be a vampire.

Just like Nandor said, he’s going to need to figure out what he really wants. And I think we all know what that is.

I think with this conflict of Guillermo’s being resolved, as well as the intentional choice by the writers to show just how much Nandor cares for and knows everything about Guillermo, better than he even knows himself, is going to open the door for a romantic relationship to be seriously considered by both of them.

However, this means the conflict next season could likely be not only them actually acknowledging their romantic feelings, but navigating how a romantic relationship between them could even work as a vampire and a human, because this means Guillermo will grow old and die eventually. Of course, this would be devastating to Nandor, which may be a barrier to him telling Guillermo how he really feels.

Perhaps eventually Guillermo will be ready to become a vampire, and Nandor will actually be the one to do it, which would make it a special and intimate thing in contrast to the messy and hasty way it was done with Derek (because we now know Guillermo was absolutely not ready to be a vamp). Who knows.

I do have some concerns about how this potential plot line could be handled by the writers, because one of my main criticisms of WWDITS in general has always been its reluctance to stick to its plot decisions as well as to allow characters to have genuinely wholesome or serious moments without a joke being tacked on at the end. Nandor and Guillermo are usually the characters that are allowed to have these moments, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that all of the vamps were allowed to have them to some degree this season. This gives me more hope for next season.

I’m sure our expectations will still be subverted somehow, because that is 100% what the writers are going for, especially with the way Nandermo went last season and the way the plot line of Guillermo’s secret was handled this season.

Honestly, after what OFMD, GO, and even the endings of WWDITS S3 & S4 have put me through, I was surprised but pretty satisfied with the genuinely happy ending we got with for S5, and I’m glad we didn’t end on a painful cliffhanger.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 320. brb x oc

a/n: no brad in this one again BUT ON THE NEXT. these two were really meant to be together lol(comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/316/317/318/319

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca @callsign-magnolia

-

Michael arrived to a fuming Bea by the door, he could barely say hello to his little sister before she let out a “I need to punch her.”

He stops mid opening the car door, giving her a confused smile, “Uuuhh,what?”

He had just arrived, hoping for a casual visit with his sister and the kids,because she called him, and now he was met with the brewing storm of her quiet anger."Need to punch who, Bea?" he asked cautiously, glancing around as if expecting an imminent threat.

"Miranda," Beatrice seethed, her eyes narrowing. "She's been poking around, asking invasive questions, and now she's crossed a line. I need to punch her."

Michael's confusion deepened. "Who? 

Beatrice paced back and forth, her anger simmering beneath the surface. "She's been interrogating me about Rooster and the kids. And Shells... Shells accidentally spilled the beans about her questions regarding whether the kids are Rooster's."

Michael's eyes widened holding both hands up, “Woah,hold on, who is Miranda??”

Beatrice took a moment to collect herself, realizing that her brother wasn't familiar with all the intricacies of the situation. "Miranda is a nosy…neighbor… who's been poking around, trying to dig up information on Rooster and me," Beatrice explained, her tone laced with frustration. "She's relentless, and now she's dragging our personal lives into her little investigation."

Michael's expression shifted from confusion to concern. "Are you serious? What kind of neighbor meddles in people's personal lives like that?"

"The kind who thinks she's onto some big story," Beatrice replied, her quiet anger resurfacing. "But she's overstepping boundaries, and I won't tolerate it."

Michael nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "So, what's the plan? You can't just go punching people, Bea."

Beatrice paused, taking a deep breath to rein in her anger. "I know, I know. But I need to confront her. This has gone too far. And I need to do it in a way that protects us, Rooster, and especially the kids."

Michael rubbed his temples, a gesture that mirrored Beatrice's when she was stressed. "Alright, let's figure this out. Confronting her is one thing, but we need a strategy to shut down her meddling without giving away too much." she gives him a weird look, “Listen I’d love for you to not be arrested,y’know??”

"Right…I…I don't want things to escalate, but she needs to know she can't pry into our lives like this. And I need to protect Rooster, too."

Michael leaned against the car, arms crossed, deep in thought. "Okay, so what's the plan? Also thank God you called me…Guillermo is in town."

“What?”

“Yeah, you know our lovely older brother would…not be uh…kind to what you just told me,hah,also can we go inside??”

Beatrice gave Michael a grateful look, rubbing her neck. "Yeah, let's head inside. We can discuss this in a more controlled environment."

They entered the house,Beatrice made her way to the living room, where Shells was keeping an eye on the kids. Michael followed suit, the serious expression on his face indicating that he was fully invested in helping his sister navigate this mess.

"Okay, so what's the plan?" Michael asked, taking a seat on the couch.

Beatrice sighed, her mind working through the details. "We need to confront Miranda and I want to beat her up."

Shells chimed in, sensing the gravity of the conversation. "I'll be here to back you up, Bea. Just let me know how you want to handle it."

“I can’t believe I’m the one saying this but how about we don’t do that??” Michael suggests “Police,remember??”

Beatrice shot a wry smile at her brother, realizing the impracticality of her initial anger-fueled impulse. "Yeah, I guess punching her might not be the best solution. But we need to make it crystal clear that she needs to stay out of our business."

Shells nodded in agreement. "We can't let her think she can pry into your lives without consequences. But violence is, I guess, a big no."

Michael leaned back, crossing his arms. "Agreed. So, how about a more diplomatic approach? We expose her meddling without giving away too much. Make it clear that we won't tolerate her invasive questions."

Beatrice considered the suggestion, a more level-headed plan beginning to take shape in her mind. "You're right. I want to protect Rooster and the kids without fueling Miranda's curiosity."

"Maybe we can turn the tables on her, make her realize that her snooping won't go unanswered. But no threats or violence."

Beatrice nodded, rubbing her chin  "Okay, here's the plan. I'll invite her over, act like everything's normal, and then calmly address her intrusive questions. Let her know that we value our privacy, and she needs to respect that. And, Michael, maybe you can subtly stay behind, just to add a bit of professional weight to the conversation."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? “

Beatrice shook her head, reconsidering. "No, you're right. Having her here might not be the best idea. Let's meet her somewhere public, neutral ground. That way, she won't feel cornered, but we can still address the issue." she rubs her eyes before sighing heavily, “Maybe I should just go to her house.”

Michael nodded in agreement. "Neutral ground sounds better…but we better solve this soon.”

Shells chimed in, "And if she starts getting defensive or aggressive, keep your cool. No drama, just a clear message."

Beatrice nodded, grateful for her brother and Shells',amazingly, level-headed input. "Okay, that's the plan. I'll go meet her, keep things civil but firm. And Michael, if you can subtly stay nearby, it might help."

Michael smirked. "Consider me your silent bodyguard."

As they finalized their plan, Beatrice couldn't shake the undercurrent of tension that had woven itself into her life. The investigation into Mark's mysterious modifications, Miranda's prying questions, fuck she was getting angry again.

“Okay,” Bea rolls her neck,making her way to the door as she looks at Shells, “Keep an eye on the kids while we are out,we won’t take long.”

Shells gave Beatrice a reassuring nod followed by a thumbs up. "Don't worry, Bea. We'll hold down the fort here."

As they stepped out into the cool evening air, Beatrice couldn't shake the feeling that they were on the precipice of something significant,she was also still angry.

They could see Miranda’s house from there,lights on, and Bea was on a mission. The more she remembered the things that woman said, the more she felt her anger bubbling.

Beatrice took a deep breath, her quiet anger now moving to her limbs as she clenched and relaxed her fingers. Michael gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder “Easy,tiger.” he whispers, “Don’t go punching through her door.”

“I just might,Mike.”

As Beatrice and Michael approached Miranda's house, the glow from the streetlights cast an ethereal illumination on the quiet neighborhood. The ambiance, however, betrayed the quiet anger that had simmered now threatened to surge forth.

Not even seconds after Bea knocked,Miranda opened the door upon their arrival, a falsely friendly smile plastered on her face. "Beatrice! What a surprise. To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

Beatrice forced a smile, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Mind if we have a little chat, Miranda? There are a few things we need to clear up."

Miranda feigned innocence. "Of course! Come on in. I was just finishing up dinner. Who’s your charming friend?"

Beatrice and Michael exchanged a quick glance, acknowledging the thinly veiled hostility in Miranda's words. Ignoring the comment, they stepped inside, the atmosphere tense and charged. Miranda led them to the living room, a pretense of hospitality overshadowed by the brewing confrontation.

As they settled into awkward silence, Miranda continued her act. "So, what brings you here, Bea? And who's your mysterious companion?"

Beatrice took a deep breath, her quiet anger harnessed like a tightly coiled spring. "We're here to address a few things, Miranda. Things that need clarification."

Miranda raised an eyebrow, her tone feigning innocence. "Clarification? I'm all ears."

Beatrice leaned forward, her eyes locking onto Miranda's. "Firstly, I want to know why you've been poking around, asking questions about me and Rooster. What's your deal, Miranda?"

Miranda maintained her composed facade, a practiced smile playing on her lips. "Oh, just curious, Bea. You and Rooster seem to be such a cute couple, and I thought I'd explore the depths of your connection. Nothing wrong with a little curiosity, is there?"

Beatrice's gaze remained steady, her quiet anger laced as her left eye twitched briefly. "Curiosity or not, Miranda, you've been prying into matters that are none of your business."

Miranda's smile faltered for a fraction of a second before she composed herself. "I'm just making conversation, Bea. You know how it is, small talk in the neighborhood."

Beatrice's eyes narrowed, her patience wearing thin. "Cut the crap, Miranda. I know you've been asking about Rooster and me with more than just casual interest. What's your real motive?"

Miranda sighed theatrically, leaning back in her chair. "If you must know, I find your sudden closeness with Rooster intriguing. It's not every day one sees such a strong bond between husband and wife. I thought I'd unravel the mystery a bit. Is that a crime?"

Michael, who had been silent, finally spoke up. "It becomes a problem when your 'unraveling' involves prying into personal and sensitive matters. We don't appreciate the intrusion."

Shewaved a dismissive hand. "Sensitive matters? I'm just trying to be a friendly neighbor. But if you feel uncomfortable, I'll respect your privacy."

Beatrice wasn't buying it. Her quiet anger burned hotter. "Your definition of 'friendly neighbor' seems to involve asking inappropriate questions. Stop it, Miranda."

Miranda leaned forward, her tone sharpening. "You know, Bea, you could learn to appreciate genuine concern. You never know who might have your best interests at heart."

Beatrice's fists clenched involuntarily, her quiet anger on the verge of erupting. Michael placed a calming hand on her shoulder, a subtle reminder to keep her cool.

"Miranda, let's be clear," Beatrice said, her voice low and measured. "Rooster and I have our reasons for keeping certain aspects of our lives private. Your curiosity, no matter how well-intentioned you claim it to be, is unwarranted and intrusive. We'd appreciate it if you respected our boundaries."

“Well I–”

“Why were you asking if our kids were Rooster’s?”

Michael widened his eyes and winced, watching his sister’s sneer turn into a snarl, “What kind of concern is that?”

Miranda's composure wavered, her eyes darting between Beatrice's steely gaze and Michael's incredulous expression."...I-I don't see why that's relevant," Miranda deflected, a hint of unease in her voice.

Beatrice leaned forward, her eyes boring into Miranda's. "It's relevant because our personal lives, especially regarding our children, are off-limits. What business of yours is it to pry into our family matters?"

Michael's tone cut through the tension. "Answer the question, Miranda. Why the sudden interest in their kids' parentage?"

Miranda shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her practiced facade slipping further. "I was just making conversation, trying to get to know my neighbors better. It's not a crime to be curious."

Beatrice scoffed, her quiet anger now bordering on open disdain. "Curiosity has its limits, Miranda. You crossed those limits when you started asking invasive questions…how dare you.”

“Oh no.”

“How dare you think I’d CHEAT on Rooster!! How fucking DARE you!”

“Alright,okay,calm down,”Michael says,holding Bea by the shoulders, “It’s all good sis, it’s okay–”

“Why are you obsessed with us,Miranda? Matter of fact,why are both you and Mark obsessed with us so much,huh???”

Miranda stammered, attempting to salvage the remnants of her composure. "I don't know what you're talking about, Bea. I'm not obsessed with anyone. You're just reading too much into things."

But the brunette’s eyes widened. "Reading into things? You've been prying into my personal life, questioning my relationship with Rooster, and now our children's parentage!!! Don't play innocent, Miranda. It doesn't suit you. Answer the fucking question. "

Miranda shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting around the room. "I...I just thought we could all be more open and honest with each other in the neighborhood," Miranda stammered, her attempt at innocence falling flat.

Beatrice's gaze turned incredulous. "Open and honest? By prying into private matters? That's not openness; it's invasion of privacy.”

“I–”

“You know what I think? I think you know something that involves the mission and you are trying to distract Rooster with me which is terrible since he's deployed.”

Miranda's eyes flickered with a hint of panic at Beatrice's accusation. 

Bingo..

Beatrice continued, her voice cutting through the room. "You are using our personal lives to divert attention from whatever game Mark is playing. Well, guess what, Miranda? We're not falling for it. I am not falling for it."

Miranda's attempt at composure crumbled further. "You're making baseless assumptions, Bea. I just wanted to know more about the people I'm living next to. It's not a crime."

Beatrice shot her a withering look. " You're crossing lines, Miranda. Lines that can't be uncrossed." she snarls, then looks back at Michael, “This is my final warning, if you ever,ever try to say anything about my family,especially about my kids or my husband I won’t be as nice.”

“And she’ll bring our older brother.” Michael smirks, “He’s over six feet tall and very protective over our lovely little sister here.”

Miranda's eyes darted between the siblings, the realization sinking in that she had underestimated the depth of Beatrice's  protective instincts of her family. Michael's smirk and the mention of their older brother added a layer of intimidation that Miranda hadn't anticipated.

Beatrice's gaze remained fixed on Miranda, her quiet anger now simmering beneath a layer of unyielding resolve. "Stay away from my family, Miranda. Focus on whatever business you have and leave us out of it." she snaps, looking back at Michael, “I’m done here, come on Mike…you can let me go.”

Michael gave a nod, the stern expression still etched on his face. Beatrice turned on her heels, leaving Miranda standing there, flustered and defeated. As they walked away, Michael spoke in a low voice, "You handled that well, Bea. I thought I was going to have to step in for a moment."

"Thanks, Mike. Just tired of people poking into our lives. Rooster is dealing with enough on his end, and the last thing I need is someone like Miranda stirring up trouble." she frowns, “...I think I need something strong tonight.”

“Same,sis. Same.”

[cookinguptales]

Okay so... clearly people want to make sure I saw the Hanged Man imagery in 5.05...

Putting aside that I think it's very funny that this is apparently what people associate with me now, the reason I haven't really talked about it is because I'm not really sure what I think about it.

Yes, I saw the post. Yes, I saw the imagery while I was watching. But what does it mean? It's not that I don't have any ideas; it's more the opposite? I'm still not 100% convinced that all this is being done on purpose (though... it's certainly starting to feel more pointed the more it happens) but if it is being done on purpose... god, it could mean so many different things.

I talked about what The Hanged Man means a bit in my WWDITS tarot series, but it's one of those cards with a lot of different implications, and it's hard to know whether these things are being applied to specific characters, the overall narrative, etc.

So... some possibilities that immediately come to mind:

Colin Robinson as The Hanged Man. He was one of the characters I seriously considered for this card, so like. I get it. Particularly in s4 he seemed trapped in a sort of transitional period, and he still doesn't quite seem to have his path figured out. Like he's said himself, he just kinda keeps on truckin'. CR as Hanged Man could be alluding to his feelings of alienation from both humans and the other vampires. It could be a reference to his looping existence that prevents him from ever fully moving forward. It could be a reference to his meditative journey of self-discovery. This could go a lot of ways, tbh.

Many people talk about the Major Arcana as a journey, and The Hanged Man appears about halfway through when a break is needed to self-reflect, reassess, rest, etc. It can allude to feeling "stuck" or like you can't find a place where you fit. It's a highly liminal card, which -- again, it can go a lot of ways. If this is being applied to the overall narrative, is this an allusion to the halfway point? To the last few moments of internality and thinking before everything goes to shit? To the fact that a lot of characters currently feel "stuck"? To the way that no one can quite find a place for themselves anymore?

If anything, in this episode in particular, it feels like The Hanged Man might refer to Guillermo. He's hovering between two states, human and vampire, and he definitely feels trapped there. He feels trapped by his physicality (unable to use and control vampiric powers but still being burned by the symbols/people that used to protect him), trapped by his decisions (The Hanged Man is also occasionally used as imagery about punishment), and feels utterly stuck. He currently cannot move forward and does not know why. He's being forced to reconsider a lot of the driving beliefs and goals that have propelled him this far, and he's not necessarily liking what he's discovering.

Can this refer to the characters as a whole? Most of them feel like they're at a midway point in their current journeys, still feeling out information but currently unable to put it together in a way that makes sense. Nadja investigating her curse/Antipaxon family. Laszlo investigating Guillermo's change. Guillermo living through that change and investigating ways forward. Nandor being deeply suspicious of a change that he can sense but cannot make sense of. He doesn't even know what to investigate. All of them do feel a bit stuck, not just Guillermo and Colin.

Could this be an allusion to the way that vampires are liminal beings in this show? It's made incredibly clear in this episode that they don't really fit in anywhere and have this trauma of knowing that any "home" will last only as long as they keep their secrets. They have this trauma of knowing that there is no place for them, and they exist outside all accepted societal boundaries. They hang between worlds, and the lives that they've built are kind of inherently temporary. They're kind of constantly in a waiting period, aren't they, and they never know how long it'll last. Guillermo is only just now understanding what he's going to have to give up to join them.

Speaking of which, The Hanged Man is also a sign of sacrifice. This is a lesser-used reading, admittedly, but still very common. Is it a reference to the way Colin Robinson wanted to stand and fight, even if he had to sacrifice his life? Is it a reference to Guillermo sacrificing both of his families to his ambition, and really quickly coming to regret that? I worry a little bit about how this particular reading might come back to hurt us all later.

Honestly... these are my initial thoughts, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg. The Hanged Man is a card with a lot of different meanings attached to it, and it could be applied very broadly to the cast and overall events of the season. I have a lot of ideas, but like... it's hard to know where to direct them!

in conclusion

[ladykatibeth]

Why Guillermo Turning Back Human Was An Awful Writing Choice, A Meta

So here’s the thing, for a “what you want isn’t what you need” plot to make sense and improve a story, it has to do one of two things

1. Convincingly establish that the want and the need are mutually exclusive or

2. That the need is more beneficial to certain goals (especially emotional fulfillment ones) than the want.

It also has to establish that the need hasn’t already been met somewhere else, and that the reasoning behind discarding the want makes sense.

What does/has Guillermo wanted? His main 13 year goal, vampirism. He worked unpaid for years, got people killed, dealt with disrespect and completely fucked up his sleeping schedule to achieve this.

There’s a few things I think of that Guillermo could reasonably be said to need based on the show so far:

1. A community/family outside of his biological one

2. Respect from the Vampires, especially Nandor

3. To explore/get in touch with himself/his roots

4. Stay in touch with bio family

5. Gain confidence

6. Deal with his repression

7. Experience human things he may have been missing out on due to his chosen profession

8. Expanded social network

9. Maybe resolve his Nandor feelings?

Unfortunately none of these meet the requirements, they have all already been achieved or aren’t mutually exclusive.

Guillermo has in his own words two families, he has achieved this, as far back as season three he’s using his position in the family to get political favors but still a little excluded….(Note: The vampires assume Guillermo will be around, it’s The Guide who makes him go to the closet, and that lasts like…an episode?)

By 4 he’s included in the 5 person co-parenting of Colin Robinson, gets his own space in the home improvement show, is Nandor’s literal best man, helps Nandor negotiate wishes, is employed in finance at the nightclub….

(Note: Guillermo taking on a care taking role still is not something that’s exclusive with being in a family, in his own words he takes care of people he considers family just as a matter of who he is)

So….not unfulfilled. Also knocks off 2, in S4 he’s included in everything, he’s fairly respected he’s fairly confident (more on this later) even if one made the argument that he needs to have this achieved /as himself/ first…he has. As his regular human self. It wouldn’t be less as a vampire. It fulfills neither 1 or 2 or 3 for this plot.

Okay so���3 and 5 go together. Guillermo needs to connect with himself as a badass slayer, gotten some power not necessitated by being . a vampire, and gain some confidence, be more willing to stick up for him—

……..

*Looks at all of S2 and S3* hmmmm

So Guillermo up until now has killed hundreds of vampires, extremely well, become super badass, beat Nandor in 2 fights, figured out how to balance his inherited vampire murder instincts and his love of vampires….well…seems like a success. He’s a badass vampire slayer. He’s connected with his background.

He feels comfortable making fun of and criticizing the vampires (the perfect FUCKING wedding, so she’s your number 2…., his “is that necessary” about Nandor and Laszlos tmi details, bickers with Nadja about her need for a golden toilet…) he’s got confidence. He can stick up for himself. So 3 and 5…..not relevant.

Get respect from Nandor.

Nandor calls him a badass slayer multiple times. He calls him a warrior, let’s Guillermo bicker at him, respects his advice (see Nandor and Guillermo negotiating with the Djinn) makes him his best man, calls Guillermo his closest companion…..as a familiar…

Sure there’s Freddie…but honestly I don’t think Nandor wouldn’t also do that to a vampire. Nandor is in general…a huge bitch (Queen bitch ha)

Which brings me to 6 and 9

Since we’ve already seen Guillermo be respected by Nandor as a human and we know Nandor dates human women regularly there’s no issue with him being in a relationship with Guillermo when he’s a vampire. It wouldn’t imply it’s necessary for him to be a vampire to date, because of the background info we know. Him resolving his feelings is species neutral.

Same with dealing with his repression, he doesn’t need to be a human or vampire to do that.

So maybe it’s the human things he missed out on which as far as I can think might be…sunlight? And going on dates…

He goes on dates with his boyfriend Freddie during the day, very normal and human…he enjoys it! That must be it!

His long distance English boyfriend. Who he doesn’t need to commit much to. Then when he’s upset with Nandor for the whole two Freddie’s thing…it’s about Nandor and Guillermo. Not Freddie and Guillermo.

Guillermo’s upset, but not enough to hold a long term grudge. He seems to mostly care about experiencing mundanity….as a concept not a practice

He quickly goes back to the uze, aside from food and the sun (which he’s already sacrificing somewhat (food quality and day time) but still experiencing while he’s been working. Anything else can be done at night. As a vampire.

His family…Well Guillermo’s mother calmly let Nandor look at his baby photos, a vampire she has no personal connection to, and was quickly waved off from talking to Guillermo. Nothing implies this will be the line. Guillermo keeps himself from killing his vampiric loved ones on the regular.

So 4 and 7 cleared.

Expanded social network….the witches, Derek, Jenna, also if Laszlo from the 18th century can make human friends there’s no reason a vampire Guillermo has to stop.

None of these things are mutually exclusive with being a vampire, he’s already achieved all the emotional fulfillment things as a human familiar…the needs are met.

Okay so…..

What does it make sense for Guillermo to want? To really think about as a human?

Family? Check for bio and vamp. New career options? He can do that as a vampire and I don’t see the show going in that direction. Nandor? He can do that as a vampire. Respect? Gained. Power? Gained. Confidence? Gained.

What can Guillermo being a human still add to the narrative…

Oh we can see human Guillermo with newfound respect and confidence being part of the family!

Wait we’ve already seen that, in season 4! Multiple times! That’s just a repeat of 4!

Guillermo as a full vampire?

What does this add?

Well….

How does he handle his new powers? We get to see Nandor guiding Guillermo through his new experiences (cute). How does he handle his family? Does he hide it? Is he comically bad at it? Do they get a new familiar? How does he handle that? Is he more lenient? Does he think they need to earn it like he did?

How does Nandor adjust to vampire Guillermo? How does Guillermo adjust to not the sunlight and food restrictions? Oooh we’d get to see him learn how to hunt….What about technically being a member of the same species now, but one that’s still very very young in comparison?

It adds a lot. Questions and concepts. You want a narrative that adds interest. That’s why this route was the worst to take.

It didn’t leave new room to facilitate character growth that wasn’t already there in season 3 and 4. The reasoning for hesitation doesn’t make sense based on Guillermo’s character. He spent 13 years doing murder and murder adjacent things.

(And seriously if I was one of Guillermo’s victims I’d hate him so much more if I found out he was 100% fine with feeding me to his friends but it wasn’t even to become a vampire,I died for, I guess, nothing)

It’s the same concept as previously, it actively stifles concept exploration….its not about Guillermo having to get what he wants, its just bad for the story! It’s a poor use of this trope.

It doesn’t make it more interesting. There’s so much humor possibilities for human Guillermo too. It wasn’t a necessary reset.

It wasn’t even necessary to show nandermo as possible, Nandor has always loved Guillermo in the show, he put in the time to make him glitter art! In S1 E1! Plus this ships is at its best when it’s a little mutually toxic! Mutually! Key word!

It’s just…….it adds nothing. The worst thing a writer can do.

[laughingsour]

Unpopular take: Turning Red is amazing and so are it’s themes. (Spoiler free).

I want to start out by saying that I do believe that GDT’s Pinocchio deserves the prizes and all the prise it gets. And so does Puss in Boots: the last wish.

However, for all the prise that’s been thrown their way there’s something problematic that needs to be adressed and it’s not about the movies. It’s about some of thier fans.

I am not here to defend Disney, I hate what the House of Mouse has become and even before they certainly had a lot of questionable things about them. Normaly I would be spitefully happy about all the flak they are getting if it wasn’t for the fact that all the hate has been directed towards a movie that does not deserve it.

Turning Red.

Here’s an example of what i mean.

undefined

Now before you haters start, this is not to say that Puss in Boots or Pinocchio are bad movies, in fact I love them too, i just happen to love Turning Red too.

Turning Red is an amazing movie that, in it’s own way, breaks as many conventions as Del Toro’s take on Pinocchio does. But while that movie get it’s well-earned applause, Red gets undeserved hate for a number of reasons that are way beyond the movie’s control.

One is that the movie is linked to Disney, and because it happened to be their project that drew more attention last year, it ended up being the one in which Disney’s dissaponted fans took out their frustration on.

Another is the whole double-standard of people who are okay with a “kid’s” movie having themes of death, war, panic attacks and unintentionally harmfull parents, but are still too conservative to have themes of being an pubert and panicking about not knowing what’s going on.

One thing that pepole seem to miss is that this movie was intentionally made to be cringe at times and uncomfortable for some people because being uncomfortable is a HUGE part of being a teen. But instead of offering thier sympathy to a girl who is lost on both her body and on who she is, like everyone is at that age, they want to call her gross or inmproper and act as if they are over it.

Being a teen is about doing things we may be embarrased about later on cause we don’t know any better and adults who are supposedly wiser are often uwilling to help or even acknowlege that. So we are often forced to play by ear and figure things out by ourselves.

That is what this movie is about, it’s not a heartwarming, frightening tale of a wooden boy or an epic satire of a fearless hero who laughs at Death. It’s a juvenile and weird story about suddenly understanding that growing up is messy. 

It’s not fair to compare Turning Red to those because it’s not doing what those movies want to do but the thing it wants to do.

You can tell right away from their artstyles. Pinocchio and Puss in Boots have more stylized designs that are eye catching and fun to watch. And Turning Red has a more simple but still energetic and overtly cartoony style. That allows for the expresive over the top faces and gestures in the movie (which also ties into the themes of puberty feeling all over the place).

Like Guillermo del Toro said when he got the Oscar, animation isn’t a genere it’s a medium. And Turning red doesn’t deserve to be held back by the double-standards people wish to have for said medium; or the hate for the company that helped create those double-standars; or the inmature pepole who still wish they had done things diferently when they were younger.

I always knew this movie wasn’t gonna win the Oscar and that’s fine by me, Domee Shi (the movie’s creator) didn’t do this movie to win a prize, she made it cause she had a story to tell about making room for all the messy and unruly things in our life. If not to let it out, then to admit it’s there and it’s okay to have it.

If you still don’t like this movie or Disney and think Pinocchio and Puss in Boots are better, that’s fair. But stop bringing Turning Red and the people who enjoy it down just because it’s not what you expected or “Oscar worthy”

If you agree with me, reblog or repost this and spread the word. This movie needs someone in it’s corner.

[megaawkwardhuman]

*slowly puts on tinfoil hat* 1000TH NEW PROMO AND OMFG YA BOY HAS SOME THOUGHTS ON IT

we're getting to the point where we're going to get A LOT of new promos which yay for new shit!

SOOOOO

I'M HALF RIGHT?

OK SO the promo clearly has multiple clips from the next season BUT focusing on the ones that at least I could put together at some point not just nandor know but I think they all know?

by the looks of it there's going to be an episode where laszlo reveals what he and guillermo have been testing cuz we see who I'm assuming is laslzo asking about things vampires can do

then later we see the rice scene and nadja commenting on guillermo attempting to fly

so I think it's safe to say the whole guillermo trying to get turned but it getting fucked up thing probably won't be a secret for TOO long (low key kinda glad)

my main question now is WHAT leads to them telling them?

cuz this is very obviously not the first episode so what the fuck happens that causes laszlo to call in back up?

I'm assuming this isn't too late into the season and nothing BIG happens that causes them to spill

I mean they probably tell them at the end of an episode and them all collectively trying to test guillermo's vampyness (yes I know that's not a word) will take up an entire episode by the looks of it

so maybe either they hit a block, not that long after asking laszlo for help he tells the group, or guillermo feels that the rest should know about this so he gets laszlo to tell them cause maybe they're more likely to believe him

maybe we've (or at least I've) been reading the whole laszlo and guillermo spending more time together thing wrong and while he knows it's for a good reason nandor is jealous not just because laszlo is spending more time with guillermo but because he's learning how to be a vampire with someone else?

cause like even if it's just tests and there's a real chance he could be unturnable since he's been there for guillermo ever since day 1 he wants to be there for him when he finally figures out what's going on with him good or bad

maybe to him this is like teaching a kid how to ride a bike and he doesn't want to miss a second of it

buuuut due to how weird this all is he instead turned to laszlo instead of him and well nandor can't help but be jealous of laz taking not only guillermo's time but valuable moments nandor wants to have with guillermo that he possibly won't get now

BUT ALL OF THAT IS UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT LASZLO TELLS THEM WHY HE NEEDS A LIST OF THINGS VAMPIRES DO

it's also possible laz just asks them and doesn't tell them why or comes up with an excuse

my original theory of nandor just thinking they're testing myths could still stand

nandor could also just wanna spend more time with guillermo even if he has no idea what they're doing just cause he misses spending all his time with him and is still worried he's growing distant ever since the crate incident and freddie fuck fest

idk it's 4 am I should really be heading to bed 😅

SIDE NOTE SINCE I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO PUT IT INTO ITS OWN POST

I personally think this scene will be a moment where guillermo thinks about telling nandor about the whole derek thing but for one reason or another (something nandor says, not know how he'll react, feeling bad etc etc) he doesn't tell him and instead just wishes him a good night

like that's the face of a man who's about to say something but instead says something else to not hurt anyone (IDK COULD JUST BE ME)

[ganyulover123]

I haven't read the full thing yet so there might be some mistakes, also I might change some things to the story but this is just the idea still, I hope you like it, I hope this idea feeds the guidja fandom from not getting that much fanfiction from ao3, so I hope I inspire people to write more for them

This will be the first chapter of the story

(Takes place after the nightclub burns down, a couple days later after it burns down more like

A couple of the wraiths decided to stay with the guide instead of going on vacation, they might be staying in their green house/tool shed in the backyard for now since there wasn’t no room for them in the house but they sometimes go in the house only when the guide needs them or calls for them

And since the guide is staying at their house for the meantime she also ends up helping Guillermo out around the house by dusting places and putting things up, she likes being helpful especially if it means that she can be near nadja when she is cleaning, she hasn’t been complimented yet by her cleaning skills until around the ending of chapter three when nadja comes back upstairs from figuring out about the fanfic and notices how good the guide dusted the library when she told her too.

Laszlo knows guide has a crush on nadja and that nadja also has a crush on the guide but he won’t snitch on any of them.

During the start of chapter one there is a moment when Laszlo get interviewed about nadja's crush on the guide when ever she is talking to dolly and she says something about Laszlo knowing, and so Laszlo says that during the time the guide has been cleaning the house he noticed that the guide also had a crush on nadja, and a moment where the guide told them that, he also said the guide told him to keep it a secret so he did but the only ones who don’t know they love each other is themselves cuz it was clear to everybody in the house that they had a crush on each other, even the interviewer's notice obviously, so there was really no secret to be kept.

Basically The wraiths tell the guide while she is in the library room of Nadja's house that one of the wraiths drew a picture and she is always proud of some of their abilities especially artistic abilities because ever since they because wraiths they kinda forget how to do things but one wraith was able to still have the ability to draw. They showed the picture to the guide and it was basically a small doodle of the guide kissing Nadja, the guide knows that the wraiths are kinda connected to her because they know what she wants even if she doesn't see it herself and they are all just a big family. The guide instantly begins to blush at the photo and slowly takes it from the wraith, she then instantly poofs into a cloud of smoke and hides behind a random bookshelf so know one can see her, she makes sure know one is around and looks at the picture again.

Basically she hides down her feelings and basically hopes that Nadja never sees it and she doesn't want to rip the piece of paper because one of her wraiths drew it and she loves them too much to destroy it so she does the only thing she can do, hide it under her hat and hopefully it doesn't fall out because she has to go visit Nadja to see what she needs. Also during that time (this is the first chapter) was when nadja and dolly were having a conversation about the guide and how nadja actually somehow managed to have a crush on her especially during the nightclub and since that is over, they are now going to be closer then ever with the guide now staying in their house and also how she wishes to tell her, her feelings, but she doesn’t know how to and she is scared that she would be rejected, she has been talking to laszlo about this but laszlo doesn’t know what to do about this but he says that he will support her until she gets the courage to say something, dolly just listened to her speak, she had this feeling that she had trouble speaking about her emotions but she can’t always be there to help her with them and when she is she usually doesn’t say anything about them, so dolly decided there and then that she was going to give nadja a a sort of challenge, Nadja must not come to her for help about anything until she confesses her feelings to the guide on her own and also to make sure she doesn’t, dolly told her that she will be going somewhere else in the house for a few days so that she wouldn’t find her, that’s when dolly decides to go to the basement and finds Colin writing the fanfiction, Nadja then accepts this challenge and says that she doesn’t want to see her anyway and that she is going to win this challenge)

This is chapter two when ever dolly decides to go to the basement and finds Colin writing the fanfiction

(Probably before all this the Nadja doll is talking with Nadja about something in her office and then the doll leaves and then decides to explore the basement, she walks by colin's room when she hears him speaking out loud about something, when she heard the word fanfic from his mouth she decided to open the door all the way because the door wasn't locked and had a small crack in it, the doll asks what he is talking about then he begins to tell her about a fanfiction he was making about two people, the doll was surprised that he could write such stories, then he begins to say it's about a workplace romance between a boss named Nadia and a servant named Glinda and stuff. The doll was very curious about it and said that the name Nadia sounds a lot like Nadja's name, Colin replies, that's because in reality it is her, and Glinda is the guide because I feel like that name would suit her. The doll says, so basically you want the guide to be in a relationship with Nadja, Colin says, yeah, I think they would be good together. Doll says, well to say the truth, Nadja does like the guide like that, it's just that she wants to be stubborn and not confess her feelings, she is also scared that the guide doesn't love her back but everytime I'm in the same room as those two I see the guide staring at her with love struck eyes, she doesn't even talk to me about her emotions and I'm literally her and if she isn't showing her emotions and hiding them then she is basically ignoring me, her literal self, I am the half of her that shows all those little emotions but she doesn't want to see me, so what I'm going to do is get away from her for a while and let her tell her feelings herself, without my help, and I know it's going to be hard for her but I have a feeling she can do it, it's just going to be a while.

Colin then says, well if your looking for a place to stay, you could stay down here for the time being if you want, I'll just continue writing my story, you could maybe give me some ideas.

Doll says, that does sound like a good idea, ok, so let me read your story and ill give you some ideas, let's hope Nadja doesn't come looking for me even though I told her not too, because if she does she might accidentally find the story and read it and then she will probably kill us both after she has a gay panic first.)

This is the first time she almost gets caught with it, this is still chapter two, one day has passed when dolly went to the basement 

(Then later on in the story when Nadja first almost catches the guide with the picture, the guide is putting it in her hat because it accidentally fell out and once she puts it in, nadja is behind her and ask why she has her hat off, mostly because she rarely takes it off and stuff, the guide blushing slightly surprised that she manages to sneak up on her in the library, she quickly makes an excuse by saying that her hat was getting dusty because it was a very old library and there is dust everywhere, she then acts like she's wiping away some dust on her hat and then quickly and carefully puts her hat back on so the picture doesn't fall out, then basically Nadja orders the guide to dust the library then. The guide then asks, why are you in here anyway mistress Nadja. Nadja's says, because I was wondering if you know where Dolly is. The guide says, I'm not for sure but I think I seen her walking towards the basement earlier, I don't know why though.

Nadja says, oh ok then, thank you for your help guide, now get to cleaning, I will be back here later after I find dolly and talk to her. The guide says, of course mistress Nadja, I hope you are able to find her.)

This could be the start of chapter three and the ending of chapter two could be nadja going towards the basement to find dolly even though she knows she shouldn’t be looking for her because of the challenge but she has been getting this suspicious feeling so it ends up with her standing in front of the slight agape door and then ends the chapter on a cliffhanger

(Then Nadja ends up finding and catching the doll and Colin making the fanfiction and stuff and basically it's like the guide's situation with the picture but it's with the fanfiction that Colin and Dolly made and then after all that happens she goes back upstairs to check up on the guide and sees how she dusted the library and compliments the guide on cleaning for the first time and stuff)

This could be the second time she gets caught with it, and also the night before was when nadja found out about the fanfic, so during the surprise party was when she would be thinking about the story and for the next couple of days after the party she would visit the basement to read the story, this is also the start of chapter 4

(Basically she almost gets caught multiple times with the picture and she keeps on trying to hide it until one time Nadja gets way too suspiction and sees it so she quickly snatches it from the guide's hand but before she could get it, the guide accidently tackles her to the ground to snatch it back but she ends up planting face first into Nadja's boobs.

For that basically once they stand up and the guide has it back she just quickly apologizes and says that it’s just another idea on what to do after the nightclub burnt down and that it was a surprise and then the next chapter is her thinking on what the surprise is going to be, maybe write more story to this like something with laszlo being interviewed about his perspective of his wife's crush on the guide and how it kinda reminds him of nandor's crush on Guillermo and stuff)

This is chapter 5, 2 days have passed since last chapter

(That surprise is basically her using the computer to look up things about Greece in the fancy room and that’s when she learns about little antipaxos and she then tell's nadja about it because nadja decided to walk in at that time, Nadja the freaks out about this and then yells why has nobody told me about this and then Colin walks by the door and said “oh, I knew about that, I just thought you already knew” nadja looks at him with a angry look “if I had known Colin Robinson I would have been their a long time ago and I would be not shut up about it” she then decides to go and not invited Colin with her and since the guide was secretly trying to find out things that she likes and stuff she decides to go with her, and so basically it’s just like in the episode but without Colin Robinson and also the guide is mostly their to learn things about her culture and around the ending of that chapter she figures out that she should make a secret  antipaxan party and invite all the people in that diner to hang out and stuff and so she try’s to learn antipaxon language so that she could speak to them.)

This is chapter 6, it has been 3 days since last chapter

(The next chapter in the start is her being interviewed and she is sitting back in the fancy room on the couch with the computer again, she says that she has been trying to learn antipaxon language on the computer so that she could communicate to the diner people, and Nadja is currently at the diner at the moment, she ended up finding a google translate of Greek language and would try learning from there, she says that it has been a couple days since she came up with that party idea and Nadja has been leaving to the diner everyday since, so that has given her time to learn most of the language, and so after that once nadja gets back home she notices the guide sitting on the couch and asks what she is doing, the guide got startled by her which almost made the drawing fall out of her hat again but she fixed it in time before it fell, she then tells nadja that it was that one surprise she was working on. At that time Laszlo came downstairs and says for nadja to join him for a walk in the park which then leaves the guide all alone but not before Laszlo turns around and tips his top hat to her before leaving out the door with his wife, which signaled to the guide that she may begin getting the dining room ready for the party, when nadja was away at the diner, she told Laszlo about her plan for the surprise party and ended up making a distraction for his wife. (Also the party takes place in the dining room, the guide moved the table around so that there could be more movement for dancing but that they could also eat their human food if they got hungry, during the time Guillermo was also there helping her move things around and the guide offered if he would like to stay for the party but he politely declined because he was going out with nandor somewhere, the guide didn’t know where but she didn’t press into it, so that meant it would only be her and Nadja and only after she invited the antipaxons, because once Laszlo and Nadja came back, Laszlo said he forgot something in the park and had to leave, as a distraction so that nadja and the guide could have some alone time,(Laszlo knows guide has a crush on nadja and that nadja also has a crush on the guide but he won’t snitch on any of them) the guide met them in the main hallway when they got back that’s when Laszlo left and the guide then went on with nadja to show her, her surprise party.

(the guide decided to not tell Nadja that she learned her language so she decided to keep it a secret, that’s until nadja said how much she adores her in Greek with a blush on her face after she was surprised by the surprise party, and since nadja doesn’t know that the guide learnt Greek without her knowing so she thinks that she doesn’t understand her but she does) before the guide was going to show nadja the party that’s when nadja was thinking about reading the fanfic in the basement

During the party nadja was talking to a random guy from the diner and the man was talking about how the guide got them all together and invited them all into the party they she made for them and so nadja was confused on how the guide managed to speak to any of you considering she doesn’t speak Greek but the guy was confused because he then told nadja (Nadja and the man are having a conversation in Greek by the way) that the guide was speaking fluent Greek language to them and was also confused on how she was able to also speak English because they could also speak English it’s just that the guide didn’t know that they could speak English so the antipaxians only thought she spoke Greek. And so basically that’s when nadja spaced out from the conversation because she realized that the guide could understand her when she gave her that compliment and then she also realized that she will have to be careful with speaking in Greek around the guide just in case she says something about her feelings by accident, then later on after the party nadja tells the guide about how she learned from a fellow antipaxon that she learned Greek just so that she could speak to the antipaxons.

The guide embarrassed by this didn’t want to admit that she mostly learnt the language just for nadja and not just the antipaxons, Nadja then tells her that she could have just spoken in English since they can speak that aswell, but since the guide didn’t know that she just clearly said that she didn’t think that part through, Nadja still being impressed that the guide managed to learn Greek, blushed and said “if you wanted to learn Greek in the first place you could have just come to me”.

The guide blushed a bit at this and said “well I could always learn a bit more, especially from someone who knows how to speak it”

Also during this chapter nadja offers the guide to dance with her and then she compliments her again (the first being the library, the second of when she first sees the surprise party and the third is complimenting her again about the party) about the party, the guide gets fluster cuz she is not used to nadja complimenting her still but loves it none the less)

This is after the surprise party chapter, the next day after the party

(Maybe around the after ending chapter nadja teachs the guide Greek for the teaching lesson because after she said she was going to teach the guide Greek, that’s when she ended up reading the fanfiction in the basement for a couple days at a time and kinda forgot about teaching the guide Greek at the time at the time and also during the meetings with guide she would also be thinking about the fanfiction which made the guide feel like she was being ignored because nadja would leave to the basement every time a meeting was over and wouldn’t be able to see her or know where she was going because she wouldn’t tell her, her whereabouts and after one meeting the guide manages to stop nadja before she left to who knows where, she tells her “where have you been going this past week, you never tell me where you are heading” and she wouldn’t want to admit it but she was getting worried, Nadja afraid of getting caught reading the fanfiction decides to tell the guide that she has been going to bed early so that’s why she hasn’t seen her,

But the guide gets suspicious of this because she says she always checks her bedroom first when ever she leaves and doesn’t tell her, nadja surprised by this quickly says that she actually usually speaks to dolly first and then goes to sleep and since dolly usually stays around the basement it take a while to go from downstairs all the way back to her bedroom, (also guide doesn’t know that dolly is with Colin in the Basement, until dolly tells her) she then tells the guide “also why do you check my bedroom for me first before anywhere else” the guide blushes at this and says in a quiet voice while looking away slight “umm because I know around that time is when Laszlo goes to take a nap, so I thought if I ask him if he new where you were he would know and also he granted me permission to enter your guys bedroom” nadja just stares at her with a small blush and then quickly looks away “ah well, umm I better be going now I have to go speak with dolly” she then quickly walks her way out of her office and to the basement without saying anything else, the guide was about to stop her again but decided against it, she was still suspicious though, she then decided to go to the library, cut to nadja going towards the basement and think about what just happened with the guide and how she almost got caught and how surprised/flustered she was when she learned that the guide has been trying to find her in her own bedroom, then cuts back to the guide waiting around in the library for a bit and decides to check if nadja is in her bedroom yet, she then visits the bedroom where she knocks on the door which ends up waking Laszlo up, she then apologizes and asks if he knows if nadja has went to bed yet but turns out she hasn’t yet so that’s when she decides to go find nadja but before she does she apologizes once again for waking laszlo up and that’s when she finds dolly and they end up confessing)

I'll Write more later

Still need to write what the meetings are about and put the confession chapter in this bottom timeline thing

(I wrote these ideas half asleep and sleep deprived because I also get the best ideas when I'm about to fall asleep, then I start writing without knowing that the moment I'm done, the sun is in the sky, so I hope you like it)

[enderevynne]

Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities: Lot 36

Just tried a new show this morning, one I’ve been wanting to watch - Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities, and I’m... so confused. So unsettled. And not unsettled in the usual way that thrillers and horrors will unsettle. 

For the first time in my life I’m actually coming away absolutely loving (most of) what I watched and still feeling like it was a waste of time and pointless? 

So, disclaimer: I am an idiot. That’s the first thing to know about me. I freely admit I am an idiot, I have much to learn and look forward to learning it. I used to have a meta heavy blog on here many years ago for various shows, mainly spn (haven’t watched in years no spoilers), and I have a deep love for film and filmmaking. But I am a highly unintelligent idiot. That being said, I still need to sort out my (very rusty) thoughts on this. 

I’m usually pretty easy to please no matter how many complaints I may have about plotholes and such (I’ve been complaining about such things in shows since I was a child and didn’t actually know what I was really even trying to say - Xena being my currently oldest memory but my memory sucks lol, and Charmed being my most clear memory that I never stopped complaining about no matter how much I loved it and still love it, to this day it’s one of my alltime fave shows)

Like, if there is suspense, good acting, flawed characters and good - or even decent - cinematography I am usually hooked and leave feeling acomplished in some way, even if it wasn’t my cup of coffee, even if I downright hated it.

This is the first time I can recall that I have left something having absolutely loved it but still coming away feeling like it was a waste of time, and that feeling in and of itself is very unsettling to me.

Despite very good slow-burn setup, amazing suspense, GREAT cinematography, awesome Lovecraftian scary monster, great unlikeable characters (one spn actor which made me squeal in joy and love the episode even more) I just... that ending was... idk. I can’t for the life of me figure out what was supposed to be the point, even with the obvious “get what is coming to you” thing. 

So, feeling confused and unsettled in a way I never expected to, I went on to read some reviews on what others felt. And a LOT of people seem to have the same thoughts as me. 

Up until the very ending this was a complete hit. 

One review I read was an “ending explained” thing. So, 

SPOILER ALERT 

Hastily explained plot and ending under the cut.

The racist, veteran cruel-to-others-because-others-were-cruel-to me protagonist that is in over his head with debt to mobsters purchases a storage unit to try to pay back his debt, finds some unnerving Nazi memorabilia and occult shit, brings it to be appraised, meets (spn actor woohoo) overly excited occult expert that insist they go back to the storage unit to find a rare book that is missing from the collection and could pay out huge money. The Nazi previous owner apparently sacrified his own sister to a demon that is now inhabiting her corpse but bound in place in a hidden space in the storage unit. 

Both spn actor and protagonist are deeply flawed people (something that could’ve been explored more in my opinion but those things aren’t even my main point in trying to sort this out so maybe for another more in-depth post at some other time), and as spn actor notes that demon will sense inherent evil in people and feed off of it. Protagonist of course will not listen to this, brushes it off as nonsense and breaks the binding holding the demon he still does not believe in. Demon gets free, gobbles up spn actor that very much as suspected had evil in him, and starts going after protagonist. 

Protagonist runs around the storage unit trying to get to the one and only exit, where the woman he was needlessly cruel to before (not the Nazi owner, that was an old guy who died in the beginning of the episode, but apparently she paid for the storage unit and seems to know what it held but she moved and the adress got mixed up so she didn’t know the storage unit was being sold). Protagonist wouldn’t even let her get back some old, useless to him, stuff when he met her before, because no one ever helped him, so why should he be helpful at all,and cruelly only gave her a lock - which everyone watching knew was going to be used in some form at the story’s end. 

However, when protagonist gets to the door, that woman is outside, standing there watching him plead for her to open the door, but she only shows him the lock he threw at her and lets him get gobbled up by the monster. 

That’s it. That’s the ending. 

Now, the “ending explained” thing I read tried to make the case that, surely such a powerful demon would be able to get outside of a locked door once freed from powerful bindings, so hence the only explanation for why it didn’t leave the storage unit and gobble up the woman was because spn actor and protagonist both had evil in them for it to eat them, but the woman did not. Therein lies the morality of the story. You get what’s coming to you, careful what you wish for, treat others as you want to be treated yourself type thing. 

I strongly, strongly disagree with this. 

If the monster truly did feed off evil, that woman should not have survived. 

Because I would argue, if you can stand and watch someone plead, scream and cry for help and do nothing you have some dark, evil shit in you. Even knowing what kind of evil asshole that person is, I would never even consider not letting them out. I felt physically ill at that last moment as she stood there in cold blood knowing not just that he needed help, but knowing exactly what was coming for him. In fact, I felt more sick in that moment than I did when discovering the monster and what had been done to Dottie, when monster got free, when spn actor and protagonist were made snacks for half-cadaver half-tentacle monster. 

In essence, at that point she was doing exactly what protagonist had been doing; being cruel to others because others were cruel to you. Not helping because you weren’t helped. But the added part of just standing there watching his last moments before the demon got to him, then turning around and walking away? Holy fucking shit, lady. If the demon fed off evil, it damn well would have fed off you. 

And that admittedly might just be me being an idiot. A bleeding heart idiot. Maybe that’s why I cannot for the life of me understand what the point of this entire thing was. That ending did not make sense to me, and therefore the entire episode, no matter how much I loved it up until that very last moment, felt completely pointless. 

Because what was the point then? For all this setup that had no payout at all (old Nazi hopping??) and some that had payout that made no sense within the confines of the story as I saw it? I do not understand this. At all.

To me, this could’ve been a masterpiece. I’ve never been so confused as to the meaning of something I’ve watched, never come away feeling like this. 

But again, I am an idiot.

And lastly, again, and maybe even more unforgivable thing about the ending? We never found out why the fuck that old Nazi did the hopping thing. Not cool.

[ineffably-human]

So ... when a vampire slayer encounters a vampire they get goosebumps and their heart fills up with hot fire.

That is a whole THING. They could have made it like a chill down their spine or something but they made it sound like THAT. And holy shit does that open all manner of speculation about Guillermo meeting Nandor and figuring out he's a vampire that way, or having a 'love at first sight' moment brought on by that physical reaction, or questioning the nature of his feelings now that he knows there's physical tells of that kind.

But here's the more insane layer that I think we shouldn't sleep on: you don't just get that feeling. Those people were overcome by rage based on the slightest things, and a sudden desire to destroy someone they had every reason to believe was beloved by a member of their family. It was like something out of a horror movie. They are compelled to kill vampires before they even know what's going on.

But not Guillermo.

Remember that when he first found out about his powers he was basically horrified and apologized to half the vampires he stabbed. And once he fully came into his power and embraced it, he promptly decided he was going to use it to protect…other vampires. Guillermo either loves vampires so much it was stronger than violent rage, or he's Special in some way that could lead to idk some kind of prophecy shenanigans, I'm pulling for prophecy shenanigans.

Or maybe he's just Built Different compared to other slayers in his family. There's a strangeness, a queerness if you will. He wants differently. He loves differently. Hell, maybe he's even compelled to a different feeling with vampires than the rest... Protectiveness, or love, or a need to be close to them.

Guillermo de la Cruz. Protector of the Cross. Protector of the Crossroads. Sitting at the border between two lives and two worlds, once belonging to neither, now insisting he belong to both... Living between light and dark, in the shadows.

(Except, want me to make it sad?

His human family goes into a violent rage when they meet a vampire. His family that he just reaffirmed his love for, just reconnected with and came out to. His vampire girlfriend was fake, but if he ever had a real vampire boyfriend, could his family ever meet him?

It's one thing to watch your family grow old and die while keeping a secret and telling a lot of lies about your skin routine, but if Guillermo becomes a vampire - if he even can become a vampire - then does that mean he can never ever see them again?

Or does it make him the perfect person to create some kind of tentative peace?)

[theveryworstthing]

So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class.  I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got  natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace.  I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.  

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway.  This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Dark Shenanigans - Nandor x (f)reader

Summary: It’s Nadja’s something hundredth birthday, with that said, you’re on a mission to make it great.

Warning: fluff, general vampire nonsense

Masterlist

“Yeah being a half vampire half human does have its perks. I mean for one I can do all that cool vampire shit and I can go out in the sunlight...so that helps for when they’re all being really annoying.” You admit with a casual shrug to one of the documentary cameras before turning to an isle of party supplies. “So anyways we’re at this store.”

The camera shifts to the multiple arras of supplies and materials at the local supermarket in Staten Island that you and your vampire lover’s human familiar, Guillermo, currently are. Specifically on the hunt for birthday decorations for Nadja and ghost Nadja who’s possessed a strange looking doll for the time being.

Since the other four actual full vampires can’t shop for themselves at this time of day or really in general, you and Guillermo have been given such an honorable task in making Nadja’s birthday the best one yet. Considering she’s the most well balanced in the head out of the four of them and is the only other lady of the manor.

“Hey Y/N, how’s this look?” Wonders Guillermo as he holds up a bunch of Mardi Gras beads of yellows, purples, and greens. “Comments, questions, concerns?” He adds with a small smile.

Eyeing up the beads, your head shifts over to the other various colors, “Hrmm, G I’m feeling the vibe you’re going for this year and I like it, but let’s go with Nadja colors.”

Guillermo’s dark eyes light up at your positive suggestion, “Right! So the red and black ones then?”

“Yup. She’ll love that shit.” You state with a satisfied nod of approval, “Let’s get some black and gold confetti from over there and oh, those masquerade masks look cool as fuck.”

You pick up and test out various masks in the background as Guillermo adds some bits of dialogue for the documentary crew, “Um yeah she’s really cool isn’t she.” He says with a smile while glancing at you then back to the camera, “Which is kind of odd since Y/N’s been with Nandor since 1793 so you’d think she’d be a little more like them but no, she’s super chill and really nice.” Suddenly his face goes a bit serious as he leans in to whisper, “But she did kill a whole street gang once when they threw a slur at me so I wouldn’t mess with her. For your safety.”

The camera pans back over to an oblivious you who’s put on a masquerade mask and is swinging a plastic light saber around with a whole lot more accuracy and grace then would a normal person. The camera then pans back to Gullimero, “Um, I’m just gonna....make sure she doesn’t smack anyone.”

——

Arms full of groceries of food for you and Gullimero, as well as random party decorations for Nadja’s birthday tomorrow night, you use the bottom of your boot to skillfully open the door as the documentary crew and Guillermo follows suit. Guillermo now on the verge of falling over with the large heart shaped pillow in his arms that’s covering most of his body.

You don’t feel tired in the slightest due to your half vampiric abilities so this is nothing to you, “Alright.” You state, turning on your heel to face the crew and Guillermo, “They’re asleep so we gotta be extra sneaky now, I don’t want Nadja catching us with all this cool spooky birthday shit. Everyone to the attic!” You whisper yell before leading the charge to the attic.

They all follow as quietly and as quickly as they can and then soon enough in no time are you and Guillermo back outside in the sunny garden trying to figure out if you should blow up the giant sea monster pool floaty.

“I mean it would look cool as hell and no doubt out-do whatever the fuck boring thing Lazlo probably has planned.” You quip with a shrug while the two of you stare thoughtfully at the small gloomy dark pond. “He’s got no chance with us. I’ve won best decorator and card maker for two hundred years in a row.”

Guillermo side eyes you in honest amazement, “Wow that’s a lot of years. And cards.”

“I know. I was an artist in the 12th century but my no good terrible good for nothing piece of garbage trash sexist human husband, who I was forced to marry when I was only sixteen, took all the credit for my artwork in that era.” You confirm with a growl, “But it stings less because once I finally grew into my powers and strength at eighteen I simply made his untimely demise look like an accident.” You add with a smirk.

“Oh, wow.” Mutters the intrigued familiar.

“Precisely. The old fool was thrown off his horse because I told Philip, the horse, to throw him off. And he did. Which killed the idiot so I got the house and all of his money.”

“That’s......neat.” Mutters Guillermo as he shoots the camera crew from behind you and him a nervous look. “Uh the suns going down so I should probably help Nandor out of his coffin.”

Raising your head to the sky you immediately see how the sun has begun to paint the clouds in beautiful colors of oranges, reds, light pinks, and darkening purples. “Oh, how bout that. Yeah alright let’s get inside.” You nod to Guillermo before turning to walk towards the manor’s giant mahogany doors.

——

Turning the handle and walking a couple feet into the large main room that holds itself as a sort of crossroads for all the other various connecting hallways and staircases. You don’t make it even three more steps towards the left ascending staircase before you hear the highly recognizable voice of your one and only.

“Y/N! My lovely wife and favorite person still ever so lovely!” Announces Nandor loudly with a grand smile showing off his pearly white fangs, “How I have missed you and your morning kisses. Where have you been off to?” He wonders softly as you smile a big dumb love-struck grin right back up at him, you’d absolutely die to hear that accent one last time.

“I can’t tell you right now it’s a secret!” You whisper yell back, causing his thick dark brows to scrunch up in confusion.

“But I am your lovely strong puff dragon Y/N.” Whines Nandor adorably as you roll your eyes at the cameras before looking back up at him.

“Fine. Come here then.”

In an instant he’s at your side, excitedly awaiting what secretive news you will tell him, “Okay, so we know it’s Nadja’s birthday tomorrow right?”

“Yes. I remember because she hasn’t shut up about it.”

“Right. So me and Gullimero got some fun surprise birthday party decorations and they’re in the attic and we can’t tell Nadja.”

Nandor gives you a knowing look of affirmation as he leans in closer to you, his demeanor suddenly shifting into a more saddened one, “You went shopping without me?” He says quietly.

Leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek your hands instantly find his, “Just for a little while, but I still need to find more stuff so....you wanna come?”

Nandor’s big dark eyes light up with joy as you hand him a kind smile, “Yes! Let us go in search of unknown treasures for our lady friend Nadja so she will not be mad at us for terrible dull gifts of friendship.”

Laughing you give his hands a playful squeeze, “Come on I’ll race you to Party City!” You say before leading him past the camera crew and Guillermo who simply watches the two of you leave, glad to have an hour of peace.

“There’s a whole city for partying? Y/N why have we never been to this place?”

——

“Y/N there are no people partying here.” Whines your vampire lover in puzzlement as he follows you from the entrance to a side isle. “You said this was a city for partying.”

“That’s just the name of the store Nans.” You retort with a small chuckle as he looks from right to left at all the color coded party plates and napkins galore.

“Well the title is very misleading.”

“Agreed.”

Turning to the right you guide him towards the decretory pirate themed isle in search of something that will peak his interest. Also you wanted so badly to make it to this spot but Gullimero was a man on a mission so your intention was thwarted for when you had Nandor with you.

Speed walking down the pirate themed isle you quickly halt all movement as Nandor’s large body stops within less than an inch from your back. Smiling brightly you snatch the desired object in front of you and as swift as a cat turn to face him.

“Have you come for a dual my old enemy?” You speak slyly, eyes narrowed as you hold the foam sword right in front of his face. “I sense a nervousness about you. Tell me, are you ready to face your inevitable bloody end?”

Staring at the pointy foam, his dark puppy eyes shift over to you as an adorable fangy grin breaks out across his pale face, “Seems you have come prepared, oh radiant and alluring seductress. Well, so have I!” Shouts Nandor before grabbing two foam swords from off the rack and swinging them in both hands like a mad man.

Taking a cautious step back you hold your pathetic five dollar sword in both hands like a true warrior ready for battle, “Only one shall leave this place alive.” You affirm with a smirk, “And it’s not going to be you.”

“Arrrrrggg.” Bellows your lover as he charges you like the true conqueror that he once was. But all to soon do you swiftly duck under his arms and swat him over his stomach with a confident thwack sound.

He makes a puny little “oww” as you turn around to face him once again, “Y/N you hit me kind of hard.” He complains, looking rather defeated and genuinely hurt that you could have intentionally injured him on purpose.

Bringing the plastic weapon down to your side once again, your face suddenly softens as you walk over to him, “Come here you big baby.” You quip sincerely as he leans down so you can give his cheek a quick kiss.

Rising back to his full height, Nandor almost blushes as the corners of his eyes crinkle into a happy smile, “Actually it didn’t hurt at all I just wanted you to kiss me.” Reveals the vampire with a proud grin as you simply roll your eyes.

“Should have known.” You add before turning and snatching up four more plastic foam pirate swords for the others. “Alright let’s get outta here, follow me my love, to the checkout line we shall purchase our weapons of war and partying on the high seas.” You announce with gusto as Nandor stands proudly at your side, ready to follow you anywhere.

“Yes. To check out.”

——

Kicking open the unlocked door, Nandor bursts into the vampire residence with bags full of goodies for Nadja’s birthday party. You right behind him but less dramatically, “We’re back!” You shout to no one in particular as Colin Robinson suddenly appears from out of nowhere, looking ready to leave with his funny little hat and usual beige jacket.

“Oh hey guys,” He starts with a friendly nod, “I’m just heading out on the town tonight. I guess there’s a fair or something in the park and I wanted to test my skill at the ball toss. I’ve been reading up on the body mechanics and how the game is set up which seems pretty basic all in all. Also I really want to win a stuffed bear this time, it might add a little pizazz to my room. Welp see ya’round.” Adds Colin before walking past the two of you without another word and out into the night he goes with some of the camera crew following close behind.

Nandor turns to you with a look of annoyance, “Jeesh I thought he would never leave. Let’s go to your room I want to kiss you some more now.”

“Why my room?”

“Because since you are half vampire you get to sleep in a bed and because I am a full vampire I sleep in a coffin.” Inquires Nandor while looking at you with those big beautiful dark eyes of his, “And my coffin is too small for cuddles so your room will suffice.”

“Yeah that’s a fair point.” You shrug before following him to your room.

After many cuddles leading to other more rated R type activities that lasted until just about sunrise, you finally got some well needed rest while the sun shone high in the sky until she began her dramatic descend back into oblivion. Opening your eyes you slowly rise from out of your comfy bed, already missing the presence of your obsidian eyed lover.

He gets too nervous about your closed windows for fear that the sun might burn him which would be impossible because you black out the glass. But alas, he’s very cautious about these types of things and won’t risk it for anything, though he feels bad about leaving you in the morning, you understand.

Suddenly it dawns on you that today or perhaps tonight, is Nadja’s birthday and you completely forgot to set up any decorations. Shit, how stupid. Throwing the blankets off of you, your feet move quick as you speedily change yesterday’s outfit for something a bit nicer and more clean.

Racing out of your room and into the dimly lit manor hallway, you make a bee line for the attic but before you’re able to reach the steps, Guillermo runs into you, just about knocking you into a wall of various stolen ancient weapons. Sharp ones at that.

That was close.

“Y/N are you okay!” Worries the familiar as you quickly gather your bearings.

“Guillermo! The decorations! Nadja’s birthday!” You whisper yell as the human man simply smiles. “Why are you smiling, this situation does not call for smiles.”

“Don’t worry. While you were sleeping I set up all the decorations.” He replies with a shrug, “No problem.”

“What? But that must have taken you all day, you could have asked me for help. I would have come.” Your brows furrow as he shakes his head, though you still feel bad for not helping with anything.

“Well I did try, but um,” Gullimero awkwardly clears his throat, giving the camera a quick glance, “Nandor was with you and last time I asked for you while you and him where having alone time he threatened to carve out my eyeballs and force feed them to me.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance you take a deep breath, “Sounds like him. Very creative when he wants to be, alright, well....where’s everyone?”

“Oh, they’re not up yet. I was actually on my way to get you. I made blood popsicles and the pool floaty is all done and in the pond.” He says with a sense of pride for his decorating skills. “I think she’ll like what we’ve come up with this year.”

-

Standing in the living room with your three fellow immortals you search a dresser for her card, “Oh shit where’s my card? I could have sworn I had it yesterday on my dresser but I don’t remember seeing it there in the morning. Maybe it’s in this one?”

“Witches!” Hisses Nadja as you huff in frustration, where the hell did you put that damn card?

“Oh, Y/N my love,” Intervenes Nandor with a gentle tug of your sleeve, “I took it with me when I left your room before sunrise because I wanted to put my name on it too so she would know it’s from us.”

“What?” Replies Lazlo dramatically, “Now hold on just a damn minute, this card competition is individually scored so I won’t be having any of this nonsense. I worked really hard on mine this year.”

“Oh lick a donkey’s arse, look here,” You retort with, quickly holding up the card for Nadja, “there are two separate drawings on ours so either way if one of us wins she gets both our pictures. So you better hope your drawing doesn’t resemble a night clubs bathroom wall.”

“Yeah.” Mutters Nandor, who’s hiding behind you while resting both hands on either one of your shoulders as you glare at Lazlo.

“Fine.” Agrees Lazlo begrudgingly, “And mine will be amazing, this bitch of paper took me a whole six months to plan and produce. Can’t get quality this good anywhere else I guarantee it.” Adds Lazlo with a firm nod of self approval as you glance at the nearby camera.

“Right, okay everyone sit it’s time for presents. I want to know what you all got me.” Beams Nadja excitedly as she smiles a fangy grin in delight, plopping herself down in one of the arm chairs. Lazlo quickly finding the other one while you and Nandor seat yourself on the large couch. Colin and Guillermo finding somewhere to sit close by respectfully.

“Well, all I can say is hold onto your socks my dear cause this is going to blow you away.” Smirks Lazlo as he pulls a small box from out of his jacket pocket.

“If it’s a self made business card that says invitation to sexy town I will puke.” You deadpan while Nandor laughs from beside you, causing Lazlo to lose his smirk as Nadja hides her amusement the best she can manage.

“He he, sexy town, nice one Y/N.” Mutters Nandor with a proud grin as you raise a brow at Lazlo who’s giving you a hard glare.

“Oh, my dear pumpkin pie love, don’t listen to Y/N I will love anything you gift me.” Encourages Nadja with a bright welcoming smile, no doubt immediately boosting Lazlo’s once irked mood.

Rolling your eyes you shift a bit to find yourself leaning into Nandor’s body as Nadja opens up the rest of the vampire residents various gifts. A joyous fangy smile gracing her pale features every single time, revealing this birthday party was a thrilling success.

After much more fun that just about lasts throughout the whole night, and some rare but hilarious attempts at dancing between the five of you vampiric individuals. You’re feeling rather sleepy and you can tell Nandor is ready for a trip to dreamland as well.

Swaying to the lowly playing record instrumental, you hold Nandor tight while simultaneously enjoying the feeling of him so close, him doing just the same as he keeps you firmly pressed against his chest. His long dark hair tickles your face as he presses his head to your cheek, doing his absolute best to keep the flow without tripping up.

Sensing his growing fatigue, you gently squeeze his hand, “My love the sun will be up soon, let’s get you to bed, yes?”

A small lazy smile tugs at the corners of his lips while he looks down to meet your gaze, “But my dark angel I’m not tired. I want to dance with you a little longer.” He whines adorably before failing to conceal a big yawn.

Giggling, you lean back to slowly lead him towards the door, “That yawn says otherwise.”

“That wasn’t a yawn Y/N, I was just smiling really big.” He protests, though he still follows your lead to the door.

“I’ve never seen anyone smile like that.” You add with a raised brow.

“Well maybe that’s just how I smile.”

Letting out a breathy snort, you pull away from him to at last take his one hand, “Come. I can’t have a single ray of that dreaded sun to get a taste of your precious skin. Not on my watch.”

Glancing at the closed front door, Nandor squeezes your hand, “Well um, now since you’ve mentioned the sun...I think I’d like to go to my crypt now.” He says, the flash of worry crossing over his face for only a brief moment.

“You sure? I mean a sunrise is pretty beautiful if I’m being honest and I know you never get to see them...”

“Not funny Y/N. And not fair, you know I can’t because I am full vampire.”

“And you’re missing out.”

“And I’d like to stay alive Y/N.”

“Aren’t you dead?”

“Yes and I am your only husband so I need to stay not burnt to a crisp.”

Chuckling, you follow him down the hallway, “Oh really? Don’t want me finding myself with another vampiric lover? Some new beast to sweep me off my feet and take me away into the night.” You tease.

Side eyeing you, he frowns, “No. Don’t I sweep you off your feet?”

Stepping into his crypt you stop him with your hand against his bicep, “Always.” You whisper sincerely with a quick wink, causing him to break out into a big fangy grin.

“Good. And if anyone would try and whoo you I would make sure there would be no more whooing again!” Exclaims Nandor, making the candles rise in flame for only a short second at his rise in emotion for how much he loves you.

“I don’t doubt they would fall by your blade. Not for a second.”

[youaremysunshine-court]

Tldr; the wwdits writers know a thing or two about depression and being tired of life, nandor is a prime example, allow them to bring about his character arc in a natural way

Nandor's 'I'm whispering bc I care about marwa and don't want her to know I'm about to replace her' gives me hope and much food for thought. Excuse the rambling because I'm fleshing this thought out as i go.

Because he's just self aware enough to know when his actions are making people sad. It means that he knows when he's doing/ done something wrong, and actually, I was super mad about this episode be guillermo and marwa and freddie deserved better, but now that I'm thinking more clearly, the writers have been leading up to this.

Everytime nandor does something wrong, he does notice. A lot of it is stupid dumb shit like getting locked in a cage at the rescue shelter. But when he pushed guillermo off the balcony during their fight, he has a millisecond of hesitation before he says OOPSIES. Likewise, when he's discussing the freddie fiasco, he considers for a moment that he's doing something wrong, then very deliberately glosses over it like it's nothing. (For more, see nadja figuring out he pillaged her village, leaving benjy alone and hypnotised, turning Gail without her consent, etc)

I believe the reason for this is a very specific turn the writers want to take with nandor as a character. It's a fact that nandor hasn't been happy for a long time, but this fact only becomes evident from the latter half of season 2 onwards. This is also when he starts fucking up more, and instead of taking responsibility the way he did with Sean and the brain scramblies, he starts to write things off like they don't really matter.

Had the vampires not stated clearly that he was going through vampire depression, it would have been evident from the way he just... stopped caring about everything and everyone. Compounded by guillermos apparent betrayal in 3×10, I believe he just kept sinking into these feelings, until he became the nandor we see in s4.

I know in a previous post i said they'd just made him into an asshole incel (which btw I do still think), I believe its a mask for the terrible depression he's going through. He's a lonely lonely vampire who wishes he could be human, who wants a lifeline so badly he'll cling to one made of gum and feathers at this point, and he's been in this despairing state for a while.

First, he clutched onto guillermo, thinking if he made him a vampire then they'd be happy. Then, he decided a wife would fix him. But she didn't, so he thought she needed to be changed. All this while he's struggling both with depression and buried feelings for guillermo. Which means when guillermo and freddie show up, happy and gay, he is intensely envious and immediately latches on to "what he's been missing".

Freddie. Freddie is the stand in for everything nandor wants but can't have. A human, slightly nerdy boyfriend, who dresses like the pits of fashion and knows enough about nandors niche interests to be interesting. He's the "perfect fix". Until he isn't.

This episode made a lot of people, including me, very very angry. But I think we need to look past this to what nandors really struggling with and allow the writers to let him grow without praising them for some episodes and cursing them for other, heartbreaking but necessary ones.

Honestly I'm pissed about the ending they forced on marwa, because yes she deserved to stab him at least once. But once again, I think that last shot of them together just highlights how far gone nandor is. She looks miserable, because he IS miserable. Marwa doesn't like him because he doesn't like himself. Marwa doesn't like living because nandor doesn't like living.

Sure, he smiles and laughs with freddie, but he's uncomfortable not knowing human jokes. Even the second time around he looks deeply unhappy when he's laughing at the roomba joke. He wants to be a part of this little clique humans have SO SO badly, but at the end of the day he is other.

And finally, that shot at the end where nandor cries after leaving freddie on the train. Is he grieving leaving freddie or is he grieving the travels he could have had with guillermo? Is he really crying or just scrunching up his face for the cameras? It all comes down to the original question: does he care? And the answer is, no, not anymore, not for a long time.

In conclusion, this has been long and rambling, but I can't wait to see how far he has to fall before he hits rock bottom, or if this is perhaps rock bottom. At that point I would like to see if he wishes to become human, or wishes that he'd always be happy. Or, my favourite option, I would like to see who the writers bring in as the person who shows him how to heal himself. Either way, the writers have brought the show this far without ruining it, and I trust them with this episode and the bigger picture, and I can only hope that they follow through on that.

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 83. brb x oc

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS PLS DNI!

a/n: i feel we all need jesus.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, smut ( rooster keeps on being horny for Bea, shocking literally no one )

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

There were boxes upon boxes upon boxes all over the house. Throughout the week, they were able to move the most important stuff to the least but still kept some items inside since they still had a lot to do in terms of fixing everything. She was extremely thankful for the dagger squad and Mav, who would come up after work to help them out in moving everything into the new place.

Not to mention they all wanted to take a look at their new house - Coyote and Fanboy beelining to the pool, Payback offering suggestions on how to add more shelves to Beatrice’s office and Phoenix’ and Halo moving around their bathrooms to check the size- which she couldn’t complain about. Evelyn,Shells, Penny and the girls also came, helping them move more stuff around and then enjoying the large patio area with Beatrice.

Bea and Rooster were going to go shopping by the end of the week and then finish everything that was left to do in the house. There were still a lot of boxes to unpack - surprisingly since both of them never thought they had too much stuff - and things to organize. 

But it was fine since they were both going to have time to do it.

She also talked to her parents - and eventually Guillermo who was in the house at the time too - what she was doing and she made sure to voice it out as ‘I’m not asking for permission,I am going to move in with Bradley’. Her parents, neither of them, complained. In fact her father smiled and her mother worryingly whispered the word ‘grandchildren’ with almost a wave of tears in her eyes.

Guillermo was quiet, but he took a quick look at his parents to check their reactions, figuring out if he should freak out or not. He was still, out of everyone including their parents, having a hard time seeing Beatrice as the thirty years old woman that she was. To him it was still hard to compute that now she had a boyfriend, a new house and a new car. But he just gave her a small smile for support, he didn’t want her to feel like he was upset at her or something of the sort.

She also told them about the photo shoot, and said that the only reason she was able to get the car and move in with Brad was because of it and that they shouldn’t freak out when it happened. That made them a little bit more uneasy, her father’s expression changed from happiness to worry when she said it was a swimsuit photo shoot - well mainly swimsuit - and she knew he wanted to give her a whole speech about it.

But she reinforced that she was thirty now. She wasn’t under the legal age to do stuff like that. 

Eventually they did accept it, a bit begrudgingly so but they did. So really, everything was going great! 

She couldn’t complain! Really, it was like that something in her changed, like she was really ready to take over everything and anything now. She had Rooster, she had her independence, she had her own way of doing things, she was so happy.

Beatrice had a lot of time in her days off from the Hard Deck, so she decided to use that time to fix what she could and arrange their clothes. She still hadn’t shown Rooster the picture she was finishing up, thank God she managed to hide it before he noticed it again, shoving it back behind her armoire - in their room - instead of the small walk-in closet they got since she knew he’d be able to find it easily.

She was pulling the clothes from inside the boxes, sitting on her knees with Jolene keeping her company in the master bedroom. It was nearing sunset, which meant Rooster would come back really soon. Beatrice just smiles, humming to herself while placing every article of clothing inside drawers or inside the closet if there was the need to. His Hawaiian shirts stayed inside the armoire since it’d be quicker for him to slip them on before he had to leave anywhere.

She couldn’t help herself, bringing the colorful fabric to her nose to smell his cologne, her cheeks reddening, “And to think a few months back I was smelling my pillow.” she mutters to herself, chuckling as she folds it inside the drawer, keeping it a perfect square next to the others. 

Jolene, who was just lying on her side with her head directly angled towards the door, snapped her eyes open when her ear flicked at a noise. A noise she got used to already, a noise that made her roll back to a sitting position with her tail wagging back and forth on the wooden floors. The sound of the garage doors’ opening, followed by the sound of a car turning off was enough for Jolene to stand to her feet and rush down the staircase with her claws clicking on each step.

Her whining gets lower the further she gets away from Beatrice, the brunette smiling while continuing with the chores as she hears Rooster’s deep voice coming from the kitchen where the garage’s inside door connected, “Babe?”

“I’m up here!” she calls back, the sound of his boots hitting the floor, followed by Jolene’s happy tapping right behind showed he was already making his way over, the slow thudding of his feet going up the stairs was enough answer. The steps halt by the doorframe, where Beatrice sees him leaning his shoulder on the threshold, smiling down at her, “Hi!” She gently sets the clothing aside, rushing to stand at her feet and greet him properly, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him, humming against his lips.

Beatrice just sighs excitedly when he hugs her middle, tugging her closer to himself as if it was even possible, breaking the kiss to press a trail of butterfly pecks along her jawline, ending with his head pressed on the crook of her neck, “Hi,baby.” his voice is muffled because of where his mouth is currently nestled against, one of her hands coming up to run her fingers through the sandy strands.

His shoulders feel so tense that Beatrice couldn’t help but gently massage them with a hand, “How was work?” he just makes a disgruntled noise, letting go of her waist to step further into the room, leaving Beatrice staring at him in confusion, “Roos?”

Her boyfriend falls back on the bed, like a starfish before he runs his hands up and down his face, inhaling through the space between his fingers, “Roos, what’s going on?”

The pilot runs his tongue inside his mouth, poking his cheek and lower lip as he thought how to reply, “I’m going to be deployed.” he finally says and it sounds heavier than it should be. Beatrice stays close to the door, digesting every word with her mouth parting but nothing coming out, “I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.” 

“How long will you be gone?”

Rooster laughs humorlessly, “Five months, maybe six.”

Oh.

Beatrice’s sharp inhale was more felt than heard to him, her lower lip disappearing into her mouth as she tried to figure out how to reply. Her heart was feeling one thing, but her brain was going ‘you knew it would happen again, you knew it would’. Rationality versus emotion was a constant struggle she had in her life. When her eyes lifted to Rooster, she wasn’t expecting him to look so upset, almost angrily glaring at their beige colored ceiling. “Roos…” she calls, but he’s too into his head to hear her, so she has to be more physical.

Beatrice’s stride brings her closer to the bed, closer to his spread legs, the same legs she climbed over and pushed forward so she’d be straddling his hips instead. The sudden weight on his crotch snapped his eyes back down, then up to where Beatrice’s face hovered over his with a small smile, lowering her body so their chests would touch and her hands could be used to prop her chin up, “Hi.” she whispers, “I lost you for a minute there.”

Rooster’s eyebrows remained low, his jaw tense and almost ready to snap at any second, “Sorry.I have a lot on my mind.”

“Tell me.” she says sweetly, removing one of her hands from under her chin to touch his face, “You know you can.”

But he takes a while to finally say something, which Beatrice understands she isn’t going to push him too much when he wasn’t ready. So she waits for a bit, with her chin on his chest, smiling as his huge hands drop down from his sides to her waist, then slid to the flare of her hips then to the curve of her butt, keeping them there, “I knew I was going to get deployed again.” he says quietly, with his eyes still on the ceiling “I just…didn’t want it to be now. We just moved in together, Bea.”

She didn’t interrupt him, but she did push herself upwards a bit more to have a better look of his face, “Six whole fucking months is a lot and we didn’t even unpack half of our stuff yet! And not to mention I don’t want to leave you alone in here.” he shakes his head diminutively as if he couldn’t believe this was happening “It’s a new house in a new neighborhood. I just wanted a little bit more time, you know?”

Beatrice shifts her gaze to the side quickly, before returning to meet his brown eyes, “Do I need to argue with your superiors and tell them to change your schedule?” her lips quirked into a little smile that made his own mouth twitch into a grin, a soft laugh making its way past his lips. But when the laughter died down, his eyes continued serious in a way that Beatrice really disliked, “Brad,” she calls, then kiss the tip of his nose to bring his attention back to her, “Bradley Nicholas.” that made him look, blinking up at her in surprise, “I know you are upset but…I…” Beatrice shrugs, still trying to find words, “I can’t hold you back.”

“You aren’t holding me back.”

“You know what I mean.” she says gently, brushing the pad of her thumb on the tiny scars on his chin, “We both knew it’d happen…and yeah, it sucks and yeah, it could’ve happened at a later time but…it happened now. So, it’s better to deal with it right now than later.”

Rooster’s eyebrows twitch, his jaw goes back to its clenched position before he sighs through his nose, squeezing her buttcheeks through the soft cotton shorts she liked wearing while at home. Home. They had a home and he wouldn’t even be able to enjoy it for too long, “Will you be okay with me gone?”

Beatrice hums, her chest expanding in a deep breath, “I will. I can call Mike to come over, or Shells or even Evelyn if I get too overwhelmed Roos.” he makes a disgruntled face, “But I’ll figure it out, I managed to do it when you left last time…and I know it was for a shorter amount of time but, I managed it the best I could….will we be able to talk?”

“Yeah, a lot more than last time.’ and that gave him some comfort, the mission not being so intense that the contact would be average lifted a weight from his shoulders. He was still upset, but at least it was better than the alternative. “Probably twice a month maybe,I’ll have to check…I’ll probably miss my birthday.”

His birthday was in June. Beatrice frowned, using his chest as support as she pushed herself to sit on his lap, “I’ll prepare you something for when you come back.” she smiles, “Even if it’s a few days later or a month later.” his own frown never dissipated, “Roos…don’t be like that, it’s okay. I’m not upset…well,I am a little but this wasn’t your fault.” 

“I know but it’s still…” he sighs, dropping his head onto the soft mattress “Shitty.”

Beatrice purses her lips, staring at the column of his throat for a while, then she lifts herself from his lap - which prompted a noise of complaint from him - “Come on.” she smiles, offering him her hand. Rooster pushed himself to his elbows, confusion written all over his face, “Come on!” she made grabby hands towards him, making the pilot laugh softly and then drop his hand on her own.

“What are you planning?” he questions once he’s back on his feet, towering over her smiling face, “You got very smiley all of sudden.”

“Well,I think tonight will be a good night for me to pamper you.” was her only reply, her cheeks reddening as she spoke, “I’ll prepare us dinner, I know some Italian dishes that I think you’ll like and in the meantime,” she walks around him while holding his hand, guiding him to the bran new ensuite bathroom that looked like a mix of their old bathrooms together, “You’ll take a really nice bath.”

Rooster stares her down with his eyebrows furrowed just enough, watching as she let go of his hand to open the box of fresh bathroom supplies neither of them used yet - as in, they had soap and shampoo but this was the fancy stuff- rummaging through it until she found it, “Bourbon Vanilla.” she says, lifting a dark brown bottle with a golden and black label. He didn’t even see her buying that, how did he not see it?

“Bea,” he tries to call her, to make her stop but she’s on a mission, already grabbing clean towels from the cabinet - it was one of the first things they managed to organize - and setting a dark blue one on the sink. He didn’t think he deserved that, why make her worry so much like that? But then again it was Bea and she was the one who cared about others the most…and his heart just shattered and rebuilt itself thinking about it. He really had no words to explain how much she meant to him, “I…” she turns around to face him once she shuts the faucet, smiling in question, “...thanks babe. I really appreciate it.”

Beatrice’s cheeks redden even more, setting the bottle of liquid soap to the side, “You are welcome.” she leans up enough to kiss his lips gently, giggling against his mouth when he tries to deepen it,”Nooo, no, Roos.” the hand on his chest prevents him from getting closer, “I’m need to prepare us dinner–”

“Do you have to?” he questions once his lips manage to trail kisses down her jawline and her neck, “We can order something.”

She just laughed more, cupping his face with her hands and lifting his head enough so their eyes would meet, “I do. I’d hate having you leave without a proper nice meal.” she whispered, kissing his lips once again, “And I’ll prepare breakfast tomorrow too and I won’t argue about it.” she added quickly when his mouth opened to protest, just pecking his plump lower lip and then skittering around him, “See you in a bit!”

Rooster was almost disappointed she didn’t stay, he would’ve liked her to stay, it’d be a lot better if she stayed. But he heard her going downstairs to their large kitchen, in their large new house and - fuck this place was so big. He couldn’t even imagine being alone in such a place like this. The house already had alarms included, which he was okay with, but maybe they should add more…he wondered if he could resolve that before he was deployed tomorrow morning…or maybe not, he’d be out of the country as soon as the sun shines.

That also stalled his other plans, especially the big one. He had to do that when he came back, which to him was a pain in the ass because he’d just do it now. But he asked Beatrice now and she said yes, he’d be out of the country and she’d be even more worried about him. He didn’t even notice he was already inside the tub - oh that soap smelled really good - with the water hitting his chest, he sank deeper into it, he was too tall to keep his legs straight so he bent them at the knee until half of his face was submerged.

Why did she have to be so understanding? Six months wasn’t the same as before. It was…a long time, half a fucking year, and he’d be far away…but, at least knowing she’d be waiting for him would be enough of a reason to get back and wish that time went by faster. He didn’t think he needed to be pampered, well…he wasn’t really complaining about it, but he’d be happy to just stay with her, nothing more.

He didn’t know what she was planning, but knowing Beatrice - and knowing how her surprises were very,very nice- he couldn’t wait. It was going to be a while since they saw each other again, so he better enjoy it. 

He stays in the tub for a few more seconds, soaking and letting his body relax the best he could, before he feels clean enough. He just puts on his red boxers, something flowy and light for the night since it was slowly getting warmer and he preferred that over his briefs. He walks down the staircase - his steps still echoing around the house since it’s still fairly empty with just a few pictures decorating the walls.

He sees Jolene’s head pop from the kitchen’s threshold, the thwapping of her tail against one of the cabinets alerting Beatrice he was on his way down. “Hey! I’m almost finished!” she says once he steps past the threshold, leaning his shoulder against the large door frame with his arms crossed as he watches his girlfriend walk around. The table was set, with a large skillet in the middle that smelled delicious.

“I don’t know what you made but I think your ancestors would be very proud.”

Beatrice laughed softly, “You’d be surprised to know this only took me forty minutes to make.” she says with a grin, “It’s Cacio e Pepe and my mom’s chicken parm recipe. She thinks she keeps it a secret but everyone knows how to do it. We just always play we are surprised.” He heard that name before, it was a pasta “Sit, sit!I’ll put it down.”

He was reminded when he visited her family for Christmas and her mother did the very same thing. He smiles, leaning his elbows on the table as she placed the pasta inside a glass bowl they took out of the boxes a few days back, “It looks incredible.” he had to admit he was really hungry, he was just a bit too annoyed to notice before. But a nice bath with a great smelling soap was enough to make him relaxed and more attuned to his body.

“Thank you!” she grins, sitting down in front of him and waiting until he prepared his plate. He always noticed that when she cooked she waited for his reaction before she got some herself. Almost as if she didn’t know how good of a cook she was. But it was endearing, much like everything that Beatrice did, how she’d pull up her knee to put her hands on top and then prop her chin on her knuckles, watching him with a little smile.

Of course the food was great, there was no way it wouldn’t be since he knew how talented she was. And once he voiced how good it was, she finally ate herself. It was strange to eat with their voices echoing around the lower floor, again it was very empty save for a few things, and Rooster was thankful about the wall lights that were in the living room illuminating the whole area.

But he tried to focus on the food and on her more than anything else. Beatrice made everything so much easier, she was always so bright and full of life he couldn’t even describe how much she did for him.

She didn’t let him wash the dishes, nor put the food aside, reiterating that it was his pampering night and he had to do absolutely nothing. So he stood to the side, more specifically, he was in the living room, enjoying the expanse of their new couch - their old ones were on his office and her art room specifically - with his head leaning back against the back seat, “Fuck this was probably one of the best things we got.” he said outloud, turning his head to the side where he saw Jolene was already asleep on her favored spot in front of the glass doors that faced the patio with the thin sliver of moonlight over her brown fur.

“It is really nice.” Beatrice replies, walking around the couch and completely avoiding his arms when he tries to pull her to his lap, “Roos, we just ate.”

“So?” he counters, stretching his arms to reach for her, letting out an ‘aha!’ when he managed to grab the elastic of her shorts, tugging her backwards so she could fall on his lap. “I’m not doing anything bad, am I?” Bea just squinted her eyes at him with a smile, turning on the tv and opening Netflix then offering the remote to him, “Thank you, I think I can figure something for us to watch.”

“I’m sure you will.” she smiles, leaning her head on his shoulder.

-

They ended up watching two documentaries and a few more episodes of Rupaul’s Drag Race before he grunted a bit in pain from his seat on the couch, “You okay?” Beatrice asks softly,lifting her head from his shoulder and looking at his chest with concern, “Where does it hurt?”

“My back is kinda sore, I think I got more tense than I thought I was.”

Beatrice hums, then looks back at the tv then at him, “I think we had our digestion by now.” She smiles, sliding off from his lap to stand before him, once again offering her hand, “Come on.” He didn't hesitate this time, he just turned the tv off and let her take them up the stairs, turning off the lights in the living room. He honestly could feel a sudden shift in the air and he had a very strong inkling that this night would turn even better.

“Okay,” she closes the door behind him once he walks past the threshold, his eyes following her curves as she goes to her armoire, bend over enough for the soft fabric of her shorts to ride up, “I need you to lie on your stomach.”

Rooster’s eyes snap upwards when she speaks, “What?”

Beatrice looks over her shoulder, holding something in her hands with her back still bent forwards and brown hair framing her face, falling down to the side, “Lie on your stomach, Roos.” she blinked those green eyes and her long lashes seemed to flutter, “Please?”

God damn it. 

She sounded so sweet and she looked so fine that he just did as she asked,lying on the middle of the bed with his face nestled on the pillows they kept in the center - between his side and hers’ - folding his arms under his chin as he waited for her steps to come back. She does get closer, the mattress dipping when she climbs up using her knees, then he feels her soft thighs on his hips and her butt touching the back of his legs, “Comfortable?” she asks and he has to lift his head to check what was happening back there.

He noticed two things: she had a small bottle in her hands and she was no longer wearing shorts, showing that lilac lace he loved so much, “...I am great, are you comfortable?” his eyes never left her bare lower body, the way the lace went up and almost framed her hips was a sin.

“I’m very comfortable, Roos.” she smiles, tapping his lower back, ‘Head back down, please.”

“But I wanna look–” she just gives him a knowing gaze, which in turn makes him sigh and turn his head away with a pout. Beatrice giggles from behind him, adjusting herself on his thighs - which honestly were just so big and strong - combing all her hair to the side and biting her lower lip as she looked down at his broad back. Rooster waited, hearing the ‘pop’ of the plastic bottle being open and then closed, before the obvious sound of hands rubbing together followed. “Baby are you going to give me a massaaaaOooohhh my God.”

Beatrice laughed softly as she pressed her hands right between his shoulder blades where she felt the knot earlier, pushing her palm heel in a circular motion over the tense area. Rooster’s groan reminded her of a lot of other things less than pure,  his hands sliding from under his head to clench the sheets under him, “How’s it so far?” she questions the same Bourbon & Vanilla body oil already being absorbed by his skin.

“Jesus Christ, it’s great.” he moans, clenching his eyes when she find another knot, the deep sound breaking past his mouth and vibrating against the mattress. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a massage, especially one so good like that. He heard one of his joints pop and a sudden relief darted all over his body, “Jesus- where did you even learn this?”

“Internet.” followed by another joint popping and another groan breaking out of him, “I’ve been planning to do this for a while now and I thought it’d be more than fitting-” another knot, another sensuous deep moan, “To do it now.”

“Ooohh…God…I’m not complaining!” he hissed this time, the experience was good but she found a very sore spot on his lower back, being extra careful with her movements and not adding so much pressure. Beatrice apologizes for going too hard, then warns him she is going to add just a bit more force. Bradley clenches his teeth, the pain getting worse and worse until it was completely gone and he breathed out in relief, “Fuck.”

“You still with me?”

“God,I’m never leaving you.’ he blurts out, “Fuckin’ swear it.” Beatrice’s lips part in surprise but she just smiles before continuing, earning another row of groaning and moaning from his part. She was glad she was able to do a good job, he was very tense and his back was looking painful because of how many knots were there. Now there was nothing left, she was just rubbing his back because she wanted to, the oil was already embedded in his skin after all. 

“We’re done.” she says, watching his shoulders drop with a sigh before she puts her hands on his butt to slide off of his legs, “You have such a nice butt, did I ever tell you that?” but his only response was a weak chuckle, feeling like butter melting on top of pancakes at how soft he was “Are you ready for more?”

More?

Rooster slowly lifted his head back and looked over his shoulder, and this time she had only her panties on, waiting patiently while sitting on her knees with her hands on top of her thighs, “Yeah.” he quickly, or as quick as he could, turned on his back and the whole massage surely did wonders all over his body…as the obvious tent on his boxers was any answer. Beatrice slowly dragged her eyes from his red boxers to his face, biting her lower lip with a smile, the way her hair was combed hid nothing from his view and he was more than happy to see it.

“Okay Lieutenant.” his pupils blew wide the second she said it, “Permission to take your boxers off, sir?”

Holy Shit.

“Fuck, permission granted.” his voice replied once he found it deep within his throat, following Beatrice’s movements with his eyes, fighting back a pleased groan when her nails gently scratched over his hip bones on the way of curling her fingers around the elastic of his underwear. Once she tosses it aside, she stands by the edge of the bed, much for his confusion, but then his mouth runs dry when she curls her thumbs on the lace elastic of her own underwear.

“Permission to take mine off, sir?”

He almost choked on air, nodding, then suddenly remembering he had to speak, “Permission granted. Permission fuckin’ granted.” she was getting more and more comfortable with her sensuality and he couldn’t be more thankful about it. She was sexy as fuck, he was just happy she could finally see it more often. Beatrice giggles, tugging down her panties until she kicks them away, returning to the bed but not climbing over him, “Whatever you are planning you have my full permission.” he says quickly, dropping his large hands on her thighs, trying to pull her forward but she just smiles.

“I’m happy to know that.” she says quietly, but doesn’t move when he tugs her forward, “Because I did mention I’d pamper you didn’t I?”

“Yeah…” he immediately lets go of her thighs when she makes a move forward, kissing his neck, then down his chest, then each one of the bumps in his six pack until she reaches her destination. And he almost loses it right there, “Fuck, baby…are you going to suck me off?” she nods, lolling her tongue out of her mouth so she could lick the underside of him, earning a quiet hiss from the pilot. He wanted to keep his head up and watch her, but it was too much and her mouth was just magical.

His body felt very relaxed, in many ways, so it seemed that he could feel everything with an intensity turned on extreme. She was so good at this, he could barely focus on anything else, until his eyes landed on her hips and ass, his breathing ragged with an idea forming, “Bea,” he calls in between moans, licking his lips when she didn’t stop, so he had to place a hand behind her head, tucking a few strands of brown behind her ear, “Baby.” she stops with him still in her mouth, a scene which makes a full body shudder dart all over him, “I got…an idea.”

She pops him out, a thin string of saliva connecting her lips to the flushed tip, “An idea?”

Bradley’s eyes were glazed over, so black they looked like the night sky without stars, “Mhm…c’mere,” she furrows her brows, letting go from his member to move forward, but he shakes his head, “No, other way.” Beatrice pauses, translating what he meant took a few seconds but once she figured it out her face turned a violent shade of red.

“I-I, Brad,I-I don’t…um…”

“You wanna pamper me…there’s no better pampering than eating you out,gorgeous.” he was staring at her so intently, “So you can…bring your beautiful self right here,” she hesitates, her bold and sexy persona melting back on her shy nervous self as she wrings her hands together.

“But…that’s your face.”

“Yes,I know gorgeous and I want you to sit on it, so,” he’s almost in a hurry, “C’mere,”

“But what if I hurt you?” Bradley just keeps his eyes on her, lifting his hands so they land on the flare of her hips, clutching the plush flesh and dragging her forward before she could stop him. Beatrice squeaks, the subtle burn of the sheets against her legs making her wince, “Brad…are you sure?”

He inhales deeply, licking his lips, “Gorgeous.” he begins, “You are never going to hurt me. All I want is to have that pretty thing between your legs right on my mouth.” her cheeks get even redder, “I’ll be away from you for six months, gorgeous. And you said you’d pamper me.”

“Well, y-yes but I thought–” she knew, just from his eyes there was no way she’d change his mind…so she had to think about something else…and when she did she felt she’d turn into a puddle of Beatrice goo, “Well…there is a way to um…do both, i-if you want.”

And Bradley swears he sees stars when she suggests it, nodding silently and watching with his lids low as she slowly and nervously climbs over his chest with her back to him. If he was to die right now, he’d be more than happy because that view was better than Heaven itself, “Fuck your ass is so fucking nice.” Beatrice bites her lower lip, clenching her eyes for courage - this was something new that she never tried before and she hoped she wouldn’t mess it up. Her form straightened until he felt her breasts on top of his hip bones and her hot breathing back on his cock, “You can return to the process, recruit. I’ll be busy with something else.”

“Already–ah!” of course it was then and now. Beatrice tried to regain her bearings, but it was incredibly hard when your boyfriend has his tongue so deep inside you. She whimpered, clenching the sheets under the two, his huge hands were on each butt cheek, squeezing the soft flesh almost to signal she could go on. And so, after a few minutes, she did.

And that moment the moan that darted from his mouth into her core evolved into a domino effect that neither could stop. The vibrations from both of their mouths added a new level of pleasure in this whole thing, something Beatrice didn’t think it’d be possible. She was still blushing so hard, this whole position was filthy and yet so deliciously perfect for them…and pleasurable, extremely pleasurable. 

Beatrice’s movements tried to follow his, but it was a bit hard to concentrate when he was so good with his mouth. She had to stop a few times to breathe and regain her focus, trying to not think just of herself and how she wanted to grind against his face. It wasn’t until his movements started getting erratic, with his hips stuttering that he suddenly stopped his tongue, “Bea,-Bea stop..!Stop.!”

“W-What happened? A-Are you okay?” she asks as soon as she pops him out again, breathing heavily and she almost laughed how she couldn’t see him besides the top of his hair…damn she really did have a big butt, she never really noticed it.

“I just don’t…wanna cum yet…” he says between breaths. Beatrice nods, pushing herself to her hands and trying to scoot away but his arms lock around her waist, “Where are you going?”

She blinks back at him in surprise, “I-I…you said you didn’t…want to cum yet.”

“Yeah. I didn’t. You on the other hand, that’s a completely different story.” and his hand swoops down to slap her left ass cheek, the perfect red handprint marking the pale skin as she whines, falling back on her elbows with her face pressed on the jutting of his hip bone, warm breathing fanning over his wet - and Bourbon Vanilla smelling - skin. He tightens his arms around her waist,pulling her closer to  his face where he continued what he was doing as if nothing happened.

Beatrine moans brokenly, a sharp whine of his name followed by her nails digging on the light blue sheets. The pressure inside got stronger, there wouldn’t be much for her to hold back, her moaning getting louder and louder, being only muffled by his lower body, “Brad…God, Brad!!!” honestly he’s a bit thankful about their room not being as furnished either, because that scream as she orgasms just reverberates around them like a symphony. She cries quieter, her hips shivering and her breathing is hiccuped, sharply inhaling it when he slaps the opposite cheek.

Beatrice’s back moves with her erratic breathing, having half a mind to lift herself from his face and fall back on the bed, her blurry vision looking up at the ceiling, trying to remember where she was, “Baby?” his hoarse voice calls, she barely notices him sitting up to look at her, he’s all blurry too, “You good?”

She nods shakily, lower body still shivering with aftershocks, “A-Are you?” When her vision finally clears up, she sees him wipe his chin and mouth, licking his hand while meeting her eyes.

“I’m fucking great.” he smirks, “You up for round two?” Beatrice doesn’t even wait too long, she’s immediately sitting up, her face and chest flushed a beautiful shade of red. Since her body was still recovering from the first orgasm of the night, because she knew there’d be a second - maybe a third one - he was able to bring her with him when he lay back down, making her straddle his lap.

“But…” she has her hands on his chest for support, “I was j-just on top of you.”

“I like you on top of me.” he says, rubbing his hands up and down her waist and hips, still tasting her in his mouth. “In several ways.” Beatrice’s eyes become more alert as she is finally easing down her first orgasm, laughing quietly at him. She bites her lower lip, then lifts herself just enough for him to align and slowly push forward. Her channel was still sensitive, so she couldn’t help the loud cracked moan that goes past her lips when he hilts, his own throat vibrating with a deep one that seemed to shake the walls, “Fuck…oh fuck.”

Beatrice opens her eyes to look at him, only to see his eyes already on her, “Yeah?” she couldn’t even finish the question of ‘are you okay?’ choosing that only a questioning ‘yeah’ would be enough and she hoped he understood.

“Yeah.” he did. He did and clasped his hands on her hips again, watching her beautiful body just move slowly on top of him, like a wave, with her smaller hands on his pectorals for support. He bites his lower lip when her head tilts back, her mouth opening in another moan, “Fuck you are so….fucking beautiful…” he whispers, “I can’t never get enough of you…my God.”

Bea leans her head forward again, brown hair falling around the two like a halo, her pink lips glossy and flushed, “Brad…”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” he says, his own hips moving upwards to meet hers, “Six fucking months will be…torture…”

“I…I am going to send you something, so you won’t miss me too much.” comes her soft reply, followed by a cheeky little grin that he wasn’t even expecting. But just the thought of Beatrice sending him pictures so he’d have her in his thoughts - which he always had - was firing him up even more.

“Yeah?” she nods, still smiling, “You have something planned, baby?”

Beatrice nods again, this time biting her lower lip with a moan breaking her line of thought, closing her eyes “Y-yeah…God, Brad…” she whispers, not really noticing what she was about to do now, it was all about instinct, “You feel so good inside of me…” she meant to say it in Italian, like last time, but she didn’t. And that made her boyfriend stare up with wide eyes and jaw slack, “I don’t…you ruined…e-everything else for me.”

Bradley couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his shy girlfriend - who was now slowly gaining more confidence within the bedroom - was openly saying things he never heard her say before, “Yeah?” she nods mutely, furrowing her eyebrows with her lip back into her mouth, “You going to miss my cock, gorgeous? Huh?”

“I-I’m going to miss all of you Brad.”

It wasn’t the reply he expected, but it was one he liked nonetheless. Wraps his arms around her waist so they are chest to chest, their open mouths never joining in a kiss, just breathing hard into one another, “Me too, gorgeous…fuck me too…” his hips moved faster upwards, “I’m goin’ to miss all of you, every,” thrust, “Single,” another one, “Part.” yet another, but this one was deep enough to make Bea gasp out her moan, almost if her air was knocked out, “I’m goin’ to think of this when I’m gone. Think of how sweet you fuckin’ sound, how good you take me and how wet you are.”

She whines again, dropping her head to his shoulder, with her hands curling into fists on top of his chest, “Then I’m going to come back and we’ll repeat this,” he says between harsh breaths, “Christen every single room in this house like I told you to. Fuck you in every surface we have, watch you suck me off again with that pretty mouth of yours.” her channel clenched around him in response, “You like sucking me off, like the good recruit you are. You just want to make your superior proud, don’t you,pretty girl?”

“Yeah…” Rooster wasn’t going to last long, so the moment his hips pistoned upwards to meet hers- and Beatrice’s moans got choppy and broken - he could feel the pressure building, ready to snap. “Braad!!” her nails dig deeply into his shoulders, her whimpering and moaning, followed by his own deeper groaning and the sound of skin slapping got even louder. He felt sorry for their new neighbors honestly. “Brad!I-I’m going to c–” she doesn’t finish her sentence because her second orgasm hits with even more force than before, her legs lifting from the bed with her toes curling and her scream being muffled by his shoulder.

His own hips stutter again, following after his own release until he finally explodes. His deep moan isn’t muffled like hers, instead he hears his own voice coming back to him with the echo as his hips push upwards a few more times until he’s literally spent. One of his hands leave her waist to cup the back of her head, their heavy breathing replacing the sound of their lovemaking minutes ago, “Fuck.”

“We just did.” she replies and they both meet gazes. Slowly, but surely her giggle and his soft laugh evolve into full on laughing, their foreheads touching and cheeks hurting from laughing so much. It wasn’t even that funny, but that wasn’t the point, it was about their connection that now was so much stronger than before.

Eventually the laughter died down to quiet chuckling, until it was silent again. Rooster’s smile doesn’t falter and his eyes dart all over her face as if he wanted to keep her to memory, lifting the other hand at her waist to rub her cheek “...I’m really going to miss you.”

Bea’s gaze softens, turning her head to kiss his palm, then lean into it, “I’m going to miss you too.” she whispers, “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.” he replies, still rubbing her cheek. He sighs, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, closing his eyes to keep the lavender scent into memory, “You too, okay? Call Michael to stay with you if you need.”

“Okay.” was her quiet response, her eyes shining with tears and pure adoration, but she doesn’t cry, she just smiles wider at him, “I love you Roos.”

“I love you too, gorgeous.”

Marry me, he thinks. Marry me.

I will. she thinks back. I will.

And neither of them knew.

[cookinguptales]

Related to that last rant:

Nandor and Guillermo both have extreme control issues, though they manifest in different ways, and they're both going to keep fucking up their lives until they can find a way to cede that control to each other in healthy ways!

Nandor used to be in control of his own country, but he doesn't want to be in charge anymore! He's become the peacemaker of the group, strangely enough, and he plays at being in control of the house but he's always much happier when he cedes that control to someone else -- especially Guillermo. Every person in that house already knows that Nandor no longer has the heart for tyranny (Laszlo was especially blunt about it) but the problem is that Nandor doesn't know who he is if he's not some kind of dictatorial warlord.

(He's Guillermo's guy wife, clearly, but he's still figuring out that he really, really likes taking care of Guillermo right back.)

Nandor's really struggling with giving up control (in the household, in the council, in the vampiric community) if just because he doesn't know what the alternative is, and that uncertainty frightens him. And that's the real control issue. He's afraid of change because then he can't control what goes on in his life! He's afraid of his relationship changing with Guillermo because he can't control the direction it will go! Guillermo makes him uneasy, if interested, because Guillermo is the one thing he can't control at all!

It excites him but it also terrifies him and that guy needs to learn to let go and enjoy the ride!

And then on the other side you have Guillermo, who has more of a nurturing kind of control issue? He's taken care of these vampires for over a decade and he knows how quickly everything goes to shit without him. It's given him a little bit of a savior complex, but he also desperately needs to be needed.

It's sort of egotistical because he always believes that he knows better than everyone else what the household needs, and he believes no one can do these things better than he can. He's surrounded by idiots, so he isn't entirely wrong, but he isn't entirely right, either. He isn't always correct when it comes to what's best for everyone around him (and his tendency to try to manipulate the vampires is very irritating to them) but the bigger issue is burnout. Guillermo thinks no one can do these things like he can (see: his issues with Topher) so he won't let anyone help him. He just takes on more and more and more responsibility until he runs himself into the ground.

For the most part, the vampires let him do this. But in The Wedding, you could really see the logical conclusion to this problem and even they were starting to worry. We'd seen Guillermo do that kind of thing before -- like when he wouldn't allow himself to sleep when the assassins were coming because he assumed that if he ever took his eye off the vampires, they'd die. But we hadn't quite seen him destroy himself to that extent before, and even Nandor had to acknowledge that he was driving him too hard.

The problem is that... like... Guillermo will literally just keep taking on responsibilities until he collapses. He'll say "well, no one else can do this right" so he won't accept any help or admit defeat. He has this almost pathological need to be needed, but that's a manifestation of a control issue, isn't it? He feels like if he drops the reins for even a second, everyone he loves will get hurt.

It's not healthy, Guillermo! You need to learn to take breaks and ask for help! They love you now! They'll probably do it! Even Nadja was sticking up for you in The Wedding!

Besides, you can see his rising resentment towards them, which is fair because they treat him like shit but also unfair because they didn't actually ask him to do most of what he does. Many of Guillermo's responsibilities (especially his daytime ones) seem to be self-imposed, and his protective instincts definitely are. He runs the household so efficiently that they don't even seem to realize how much he does for them, which shows that he's a great familiar but has also allowed them to take him for granted. That's hurtful to him, but he also hasn't demanded respect until very, very recently.

I want Nandor to allow himself to let go of his need to be a figurehead and I want Guillermo to allow himself to let go of his need to have the real power in the household. Neither one of them actually has to run things here, and they're making themselves miserable. I think if Nandor allows himself to serve Guillermo a little bit for once and if Guillermo allows himself to accept that help, they'll both be a lot happier.

They both need a vacation. :') A real one, not the year-long disaster we had between s3 and s4. Come on, guys, let yourself lean on someone for once and admit that you don't have all the answers.

[tiesthatbind-tf]

A lad finally gets some of that coveted spotlight!

Benjamin Bane (just Ben or Benji, thanks) may be the youngest of the active Autobot team as their sprightly scout who’s got a chip on his shoulder he wants to hurl into the next Functionist or Decepticon picking on him for his size, and who’s been through quite a bit despite his age, if the burn on his left arm, the slide bite on his right hand  and the multitude of old cigarette burns he’s reluctant to explain are anything to go by.

When not on the field, he’s an avid dancer (with a love for ballet, something he could only pursue in secret until recently, and something which forms the core of his offensive style) and a good enough artist that he, alongside Mirage, are the two assigned to decorate armor for the team.

His smiley, chirpy facade hides quite a couple of issues, including PSTD and self-esteem issues, anxiety attacks, and an urge to please those he trusts even if it comes at his detriment.

More to his story below. (TW for child abuse)

Benjamin Bane (Bumblebee) would be hard-pressed to come up with a single good memory concerning his biological family during his childhood, and not for the lack of trying.

Born to an upper middle-class family in New York comprising a bullish, hot-tempered police sergeant father and a housewife mother, he grew up in the shadow of the son his father, who came from a family of law enforcers, wanted him to be in order to carry on the family legacy.

That he was a gentle, bubbly, sensitive child who loved following his mother around in the kitchen and spending his free time drawing did not bode well for the image his father wished to portray, and it didn’t take long for the discipline intended to mold him into a ‘man’ to become horrifically physical when he was barely five.

His mother, already used to his old man’s temper and quick hand, would often step in to take the punishment meant for him whenever he did something undesirable, though she couldn’t save Ben from the man’s wrath completely, and by the time he was nine, he was never seen without a hoodie in school and had perfected every excuse he’d been told to repeat when asked why he could not take it off or why he would come in on some days with a split lip.

He was small for his size, quiet, and took great pains not to be noticed, which had the opposite effect of making him the target of every other larger child looking to blow off steam, and he became good at running.

Really good.

There was no running from home however, home where the walls were insulated so neighbours wouldn’t hear what was happening within, and while some days would be better than others, there wasn’t a moment that he didn’t break into a cold sweat whenever he heard his father’s footsteps approaching his room.

With his mother unable to bear more children due to an illness, his father furiously continued with the campaign (sometimes the carrot was used  though mostly it was the stick) to mold him into the son the man wanted, so he could make the cut during the streaming process prior to high school where students would be sorted into their future occupational classes.

What support he might have had from his mother in his young years also evaporated, as she pushed him to be the son his father needed him to be to keep the peace, putting the weight of the household’s sanctity on his slight  shoulders.

He was forced into marksmanship lessons (where his first attempt to fire a gun went awry and left him with a deep slide bite wound), multiple self-defence classes to toughen him up (helpful for bullies whenever they didn’t come in packs), and a series of workouts to encourage a growth spurt so he could catch up to other potential cadet  candidates.

The little sliver of hope that he would be good enough to make the junior police  cadets went up in smoke when he was assigned to the manual class instead, owing to his size and his visceral aversion to handling firearms.

Branded as worthless and only good for paying off the ‘debt’ accumulated from the classes his father had earlier forced him into, Ben entered high school with his self-esteem scrapping at topsoil and digging deeper, and had it not been for a chance encounter with another boy who was evading a group of military-classed students intending to instil a lesson about talking back to those higher in the hierarchy, it might have dug itself into a grave.

The boy, who introduced himself as Guillermo ‘Memo’ Gutierrez after Ben dutifully sent the bullies scattering, was also assigned to the manual class and both of them  decided to stick together for safety in numbers.

Ben had ruefully accepted his lot in life after years of being broken and beaten down. Memo, however, had a loving and supportive family; this kept the spark of his defiance to the system alive and he kindled it in Ben’s by giving his friend a safe space to escape to whenever the situation at Ben’s home became too intense.

Among Memo and Memo’s family was the first time where Ben opened up about his interests, could speak freely and found acceptance for what he liked and who he was.

The desire to reclaim the things he loved pushed him to seek out part-time work, which he eventually found after befriending a girl, Charlie Watson, who had helped put an end to the harassment he and Memo endured at school by playing the hierarchy to their favour and wielding her Navy ‘prime-pick’ status.

That she actually wanted nothing to do with the class she was pushed into (Navy) and wished to pursue a career in automotives despite parental objections was something that she and Ben bonded over, and she brought him to the scrapyard her uncle ran where he found work sorting out car parts and helping perform repairs.

He began to pursue art and dance in secret with part of his pay (keeping his sketchbooks and supplies at Memo’s place and taking dance lessons under the guise of after-class study sessions), while saving up the rest and planning for the day he would eventually break free of his father, ‘debt’ or no ‘debt’.

During this time, he subtly packed away important items and was careful not to anger his old man more than his mere presence already did on a good day——something which would become increasingly hard when the Clampdown began.

He would hear his father rant over the dinner table about how ungrateful the protesters who were made up mostly of the Manual Class were, how they weren’t worth the safety net they were demanding for the job they were doing, how they needed to know their place.

He would hear, as time went by, about how his father would beat the ones who were arrested, and more than once, how he would be killed if he, as the man’s son, ever did something as stupid and insolent as that.

He bit his tongue through all this and reluctantly refused Memo’s offer to join a peaceful protest for better wages and workplace compensation.

The protest turned violent after police assaulted those taking part however, and as he watched the news hoping to see if Memo was alright, he saw his friend among those who were tossed into the dreaded black vans to be brought over to stations for interrogation.

His father, fielding a call from a colleague about the batch of protesters being brought in, told them to separate the adults from the teenagers, who would be easier to break, and it was at this point Ben’s spark turned into a bonfire.

As his father got dressed for work, he crept into the man’s study and managed to figure out the combination to the safe where the man’s gun was kept, retrieving it and aiming it at the police sergeant who came in and demanded for him to stand down.

Ben, in turn, demanded for his father to call the station and have Memo released, and when his father laughed at his audacity, mocked the way his hands shook while he was holding the gun and threatened to beat him senseless once this was all over, he shot the man close enough to the head to clip an ear to prove a point, before repeating his demand again.

This time, his father complied and called the station to order for Memo’s release; Ben’s relief however was all the momentary lapse of guard that his father needed to rush in and attempt to wrest the gun back, and in the struggle, he accidentally shot his father in the knee.

Under the hail of threats on how he was going to die once his father got hands on him, Ben flung the gun where the man could not reach, grabbed one of the bags he had secretly packed and ran out of the house to the screams of his mother.

He called Charlie and explained the situation to her, as both of them made their way to the station where his father worked to pick up Memo, who was confused about the state of affairs.

At 18 years, Ben was now a fugitive who could no longer go home; Memo brought him to the manual class district where Ben could hide among allies, and it was here that he spent a few months in hiding, disguised as a manual worker.

However, still fully terrified at the thought of his father eventually hunting him down within the confines of the city, he made plans to leave and head to the West Coast, far away from any chance that he would meet his old man by accident on the streets.

To his surprise,  Charlie and Memo elected to join him in the move, and the three of them left together on a  Greyhound bus; Him to escape his father, Charlie to escape her future with a military complex which her father died for and Memo to protect his family after he was named a person of interest in the protest.

However, they were forced to stop in Texas when police were inspecting passing buses for runaway Cold Constructs. Here, they met Ian Hart (Ironhide), a rancher secretly helping Cold  Constructs escape ownership by crossing over into Mexico to start new lives.

Ian, seeing how they ran from the bus, assumed they were young Cold Constructs and immediately took them in and offered them shelter; when they explained their situation, he kept his offer, letting them stay until they had their plans sorted out and paying them for work done on his ranch in the meantime.

All three of them grew fond of him and spent a month working on his ranch, helping out equally between his longhorn cattle and the Cold Constructs who would come in scared, starving, and seeking refuge from bounty hunters looking to bring them back to the establishments they were assigned to.

Someone however, had gotten wind of Ian’s clandestine operation, and the man was arrested during a midnight raid, though not before he flung Ben, Charlie and Memo into a secret basement with three Cold Constructs who he told them to help cross the border the next day.

They did as they were told, but decided to return to the ranch to figure out how to help Ian, and when they came back there, it was to come face to face with two strangers who were also seeking Ian after seeing him on the news.

These strangers introduced themselves as Omar Parvez (Optimus Prime), Jace Zayden (Jazz) and Preston Wan (Prowl), members of a rebellion that had sprung up in the UK, and upon hearing that they had been with Ian for the past month, requested for their help in tracking the man down to save him from a terrible fate at the hands of government interrogators.

Realising that they were now caught up in something bigger than they ever imagined, Ben nonetheless accepted the request, unwilling to stand back and do nothing while a good man suffered.

Youth, size and a lifetime of abuse would not be an obstacle to him helping someone else, especially with his best friends  by his side.