#guidefire heir

[andagii-writes]

WIP Tag List

Been seeing this floating around as I scroll and figured it's a good way to get my WIP thoughts all together. So I grabbed it for myself.

RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

(cracks knuckles)

Sanmin Flight The Indolent Marchioness Spare the Hunt Imprints These Rites of Severence Within the Hearts of Sunset Stars The Guidefire Heir Of Spirits' Kindling A Forgotten Dawn Tales of Estellus The Hanged Man of Sundown Hill The Midnight Pirouette

Asks are open, but I'm keeping this an open tag since I'm not sure who's still around these days... since you know... I'm also not always super active around here either. ^^;

Hey, by the by. If anyone following me (or you happened to mosey this way) would like to be tagged for games or for any of my writing updates (specifically content), let me know with a "List me!" please!

[andagii-writes]

Tears their melody, waves their beat, rain their harmony...Blessed the Hydrals are to dance as reflections of The Mourner. And yet...

(Cross-posted on WordPress.)

The Guidefire Heir (3/?) - The Hydrals One of the three races inhabiting the wasteland of Celessund, Hydrals command water and rain, their mastery denoted by glowing blue tattoos across their chest, shoulders, forearms, and teardrops at the corners of their eyes. However, this affinity for water manipulation lies in the hands of female Hydrals only. Their male counterparts manifest the Hydrals’ brand, a snake-wreathed mirror, yet none of the rain-invoking, wave-bending prowess of the females.

The Celessund Wasteland desperately needs the Hydrals’ abilities to activate the sprawling Aqueduct, yet these powerful women have instead been quarantined away under the foundations of the Floating Garden...

Region

Southwest Celessund, Ama-Misaki, a cape town overlooking the sea. A “torii” gate stands at the highest point of the cape, indicating the location of the Shrine of Rippling Mirrors.

Specialty - Water Manipulation

Hydrals can move water to their will, and, in groups or by the Amimoya alone, can stir and summon rain. The wind of the Gaelites can amplify the Hydrals’ raindance.

By sacrificing some of their life force, their “mabui,” the most powerful Hydrals - the Amimoya included - can produce water out of what appears to be nothing, and provide hydration to those who need it.

The Amimoya, Onari of the Hydrals

Patron saint of the Hydrals. Bearing Nadamikyo’s mark across her front, rain and waves down her arms, single teardrops at the corners of her eyes, and the serpentine image of Irabu-Anshirare feasting on Nadamikyo’s tears across her back, the Amimoya is responsible for dancing in her patron deity’s image and revitalizing the flow of water and thus, magic, through the Celessund Aqueduct. 

Patron Animal

Sea Snake

Patron Deity - Nadamikyo

Also known as The Mourner, she is attended by her snake familiar, Irabu-Anshirare, who coils around the mirror upon which Nadamikyo dances.

Sacred Treasure - The Rippling Mirror

The divine octagonal mirror upon which Nadamikyo dances. The Mirror formed when Irabu-Anshirare unwound herself from around Nadamikyo’s waist and stilled the ripples at Nadamikyo’s feet.

Currently...

The Hydrals of the current Celessund have lost their elevated position as priestesses, most of them locked away within the catacombs and slums of the Floating Garden as “waterworkers.” Females work in the capital’s underground, while the non-magical males work not only the rice and millet fields of the basin surrounding the Floating Garden, but also its orchards and grazing fields, as well as periodic expeditions to the coast for seafood and salt. Systemic oppression by the Floating Garden’s ruling Gaelites have stripped most of the overworked Hydrals of their zeal for life.

Known now for their general nihilism and pessimism, Hydrals have become extremely wary of goodwill, and have been known to betray each other and their families for their survival. Many have resigned themselves to their fates. Others have escaped the slave labor and turned to questionable on-the-run lives as entertainers, prostitutes, or snitches. 

Shiki is one of those that escaped...

The Guidefire Heir (Synopsis)

Young Cian has only ever known three things: life on the run under his cunning mother’s wing, his father seems to exist only in heresay and faded memories, and that Aural children like him have been almost completely purged from the Celessund Wastes. He kept his secret well, yet the night of the annual Deluge Festival exposes his awakening celestial powers, exiling Cian and his mother from the only place they’ve ever been able to call home. Mastering his new Aural powers may be the key to finding a new home for his family, but with treachery and revelation riddling his path, reconciling the very power - and the secrets behind it - that tears his family apart may prove too much for a boy…

[andagii-writes]

We used to say that our breaths descended from the wingbeats of the ancient Gaelites, or that they were the first to weave standing air into the wind of life. We called that a myth, yet their pride slowly turns that story into reality...

(Cross-posted on WordPress.)

The Land of Celessund | The Hydrals | The Gaelites | The Aurals

The Guidefire Heir (4/?) - The Gaelites

The second of the three races inhabiting the Celessund Wastes, the Gaelites sport bright green tattoos across their backs, torsos, and down the lengths of their arms. With their cloaks and mantles of plumage, Gaelites are truly awesome sights to behold as they race across the sky. Moving air and manipulating pressure, the Gaelites take positions in all ranges of work, from menial craftsmanship to elite warriorhood.

Legend credits the Gaelites as the architects and laborers in the building of the Celessund Aqueduct, instilling the Gaelites with a seemingly inherited pride. This has led them to assume a patronizing position over the Hydrals, and an even worse standing over the Aurals...

Region

Northern Celessund, Yata-zan, the highest mountain of the Eightspan Range. A “torii” gate past the old city stands to mark the entrance to the Shrine of Humming Needles.

Specialty - Air Manipulation

Also known as “wind-weavers,” Gaelites can grab strings of air to “weave” into different kinds of wind. Depending on how taut they pull these “strings,” Gaelites can also manipulate air pressure, changing a gentle gust into a rending blade with just a flick of the wrist. This allowed Gaelites to team up with Hydrals to balance Celessund’s weather system.

By sacrificing their “mabui,” or their life force, master Gaelites, including their Kajuuta, can breathe life back into the dying. Its effects, however, are totally unpredictable, and can fail if the subject is too far gone.

The Kajuuta, Wekeri of the Gaelites

Patron saint of the Gaelites, bearing Yaanukaji’s blessing within his plumage. Eight metallic pinions emerge from the Kajuuta’s mantle, symbolizing the feathers Yaanukaji’s familiar sacrificed to direct the eight divine winds toward Nirai. The Kajuuta shoulders this responsibility as well, becoming the sole Gaelite who can control the Eight Winds and show the direction of Nirai.

Patron Animal

Raven

Patron Deity - Yaanukaji

Known as The Weaver, he is attended by his three-legged raven familiar, Sūsa-Ichija, whose eight pinions become the needles with which Yaanukaji weaves the wind toward Nirai.

Sacred Treasure - The Ichija Blade

Yaanukaji was once stranded in Celessund, without a single breath left to return to Nirai. Sūsa-Ichija then winged forth, sacrificing eight of his feathers to create the needle to summon and weave the Eight Winds. Gaelites know this needle as the divine sword, the Ichija Blade. 

Creating the Ichija Blade, however, robbed Sūsa-Ichija of his ability to fly, while giving the Gaelites their power and plumage. As a show of their deep gratitude, the Gaelites sanctified the place they believe Sūsa still roosts, enshrining the Ichija Blade within its grounds. 

Currently...

With their power that both creates and destroys, pride is a nearly-universal trait among the current Gaelites. As they were responsible for building the Floating Garden, as well as establishing trade routes between the Garden, Yata-zan, Ama-Misaki, and beyond, they believe themselves equally responsible for upholding the order of their society.

Part of their strategy is the formation of the Red Crown, an elite warrior force that protects and enforces the will of the titular Red Crown, the leader of the Gaelites. By the Red Crown’s word, the Hydrals became “waterworkers,” and the Aurals, a threat to be purged.

The majority of the proud Gaelites have accepted this order as the ideal, and so ostracize anyone who protests otherwise.

Meaning the current Kajuuta, whose sister is the Red Crown, is in a precarious position indeed...

The Guidefire Heir (Synopsis)

Young Cian has only ever known three things: life on the run under his cunning mother’s wing, his father seems to exist only in heresay and faded memories, and that Aural children like him have been almost completely purged from the Celessund Wastes. He kept his secret well, yet the night of the annual Deluge Festival exposes his awakening celestial powers, exiling Cian and his mother from the only place they’ve ever been able to call home. Mastering his new Aural powers may be the key to finding a new home for his family, but with treachery and revelation riddling his path, reconciling the very power - and the secrets behind it - that tears his family apart may prove too much for a boy…

[andagii-writes]

@shrialaharra Thanks so much for the tag, and I am so sorry this took so long to get to.

Answer 11 questions about a WIP, write 11 questions for the next group, and tag 11 writers to continue! (If you want)

Cian and Shiki from my WIP, The Guidefire Heir, will answer these!

1) has your OC ever been in love?

Shiki musses Cian’s hair, earning a whining protest. She chuckles. “You can’t have a crazy adorable kid like this without having some kind of love in your life, right?”

“You’re just trying to embarrass me,” Cian groans, patting his hair back down. “Like always.”

“Oh? So what’s a mother to do with you except tell the truth?”

2) Has your OC ever had their heart broken?

“Well,” Cian sighs, “Mother apparently still keeps in touch with Father.”

He stares, blankly and glazed, at his hands. “Father hasn’t spoken to me in nearly 9 years. It hurts, you know.”

3) is your OC a big dreamer? A realist?

“Put it this way,” says Shiki, leaning back in her seat. The bells on her ankles gently tinkling, she props her feet up on the table. “Hard as it is, I have to feed my baby boy, make sure he gets some kind of education, and show him this entire world, without anyone realizing I’m his mother.” 

She traces the metal of her bangles, her gaze indefinite. “His father does help there,” she whispers. “He helps far more than I can tell Cian. Everything we do, everything we can’t and don’t say, we do for him, not just because we’re his parents.”

She nods to star-gazing Cian, perched on a windowsill with his legs swinging into the cool, misty night and against the sandstone wall. “We just want to make his dream come true.” 

4) what is the biggest fight your OC has ever been in?

Shiki throws her head back and guffaws, “I’ve been in too many of those to decide which one was the worst!”

Cian, however, heaves his shoulders, sighing visibly. “Mother, you told me before that you and Father almost left each other because of a fight.”

“Certainly, there’s that one. I remember. But that, versus the row I had with my Hydral sisters and cousins? Hard to say which was worse.”

“You never told me that one,” says Cian, spinning in his seat. Legs back inside the window, he leans forward. “I’d like to hear more.”

Shiki raises a brow. “About how your mother nearly lost all family she’d ever known, just for wanting to breathe the air outside the cloister?” She hides a smile. “Oh, Cian. ‘Tis unexciting, in the very least.”

Cian curls his lip and furrows his brow, yet says nothing to snap back.

5) Is your OC protective of others? Describe one time they defended another or had to be defended.

“We’re protective of each other,” Shiki declares, grinning. She flicks Cian’s cheek. “Because without me to do your makeup or perform for food and money, you’d be running and starving to death out there.”

Cian bats away his mother’s hand. “And without me guiding you through the city, Professor Rhegel and the Red Crown would have captured you a long time ago. You always say that.”

Shiki’s grin relaxes into a warm hint of a smile. “‘Tis true. Your power to bring light upon us is my greatest protection right now.”

Smugness curls her lip, as she then crosses her arms. “But don’t get cocky. You weren’t always around, after all.”

6) what is a unique or interesting hobby your OC has?

Cian produces a small wooden chest from underneath a floorboard. While Shiki looks on, he opens the box, revealing a trove of smoothened crystal, iridescent feathers, glass beads, and glass figurines of birds, snakes, and deigo flowers.

“Treasure hunting,” says Cian, grinning. “The aqueducts here in the capital sometimes wash pretty debris like this through each of the quarters. I gather them, I polish them, and then I find some twine to make these decorations into hair accessories! They’re mostly for me, and for Mother to wear for her performances.”

“You could sell them too,” says Shiki. “That way you don’t have to go stealing those little figurines for yourself.”

Cian blushes, replying, “The Gaelites would never let me have a stall in the thoroughfare.”

“Someday, then. Someday, you’ll have your stall. I promise.”

7) what kind of music would your OC listen to, or what is a theme song you’d give them to describe them to others?

A/N: A lot of elements of The Guidefire Heir are starting to see inspiration in traditional Okinawan culture, so the music that Cian would listen to, or what Shiki would dance to, sounds a lot like the traditional music of Okinawa.

Let me throw in some samples.

Cats on Yonaguni Island | a medley | Mirukumunari | other traditional dances

Except, I listen to lofi music when writing, so the characters’ themes are more on that side.

Cian - boy [instupendo] | Shiki - Imaginary Folklore [Nujabes] | Cian’s Father - Tragic Hero [redrose]

8) what kind of god would your OC worship if they are religious? God of war, love, wisdom….?

Shiki runs her fingers over the blue markings across her skin. Rain down her arms, waves at her wrists, and the rim of a mirror, bordered by the writhing coils of a snake, peek over the edge of her front collar. “We Hydrals have Nadamikyo,” she says, nostalgia softening her words. “The Mourner. A goddess of rain. With her dances, she casts rain over Celessund.”

Cian leans forward again. Rapt attention widens his eyes and pulls a smile across his features. 

“Nadamikyo cries,” Shiki continues, “over the passing of her son, and as long as he doesn’t return to Nirai, she continues her grieving.”

She reaches over and musses Cian’s hair. “So we Hydrals dance as her reflection, in Nadamikyo’s hope to wash her son’s spirit free from Celessund, and return him to Nirai. Or so the story goes.”

“Mother gets her powers from Nadamikyo,” Cian adds. “And I...”

“The Heir of Heaven, baby,” Shiki answers, laying a kiss on Cian’s forehead. “Your powers seem tiny right now, but they come from the Heir of Heaven all the same.”

9) Does your OC prefer to be with others, or be alone?

“As long as I have my baby here with me,” Shiki responds, wrapping Cian in a tight hug, “I don’t need anyone else!”

Cian, yelping, squirms in Shiki’s grasp. “We’re alone and away from each other most of the day anyway!”

“Nonsense. Separated we may be, we’re still together and a team, yes?”

“You never say that about Father.”

“Well.” Shiki winks. “That would be because he already knows I don’t need him as much as he needs me.”

10) What would your OCs weapon of choice be?

“Why worry about weapons,” Shiki replies, “when you’re too fast and clever for them to ever catch up?”

11) What is an environment setting your OC would prefer?

“A sea cliff,” says Shiki, “just like the home I’ve never seen.” She nudges Cian. “What about you?”

“On top of the clouds!” He whirls to face Shiki. “The stories said one of the entrances to Nirai was above the clouds, right?”

Shiki raises a brow. “And another underwater, by Ama-Misaki.”

“I can’t go to that one,” Cian snorts, crossing his arms. “I can’t move water like you do. But the one above the clouds? I can definitely go there.”

And now 11 questions from me!

1. Your OC walks into an all-you-can-eat buffet. What do they pig out on?

2. How well does your OC get along with animals?

3. Does your OC tend to look back fondly on memories, or would they rather not remember anything?

4. Assuming your OC could afford it, what would they collect?

5. Assign your OC a fruit.

6. Does your OC have a mantra for life?

7. If your OC could have any ability they chose, what would it be?

8. How involved is your OC’s self-care routine?

9. Is your OC a visual, auditory, or tactile learner? 

10. Is there anything about our modern lives that your OC would envy?

11. What job would your OC love to have in our modern world?

And uh... I honestly don’t know who in my followers list is still active, so please, please @ me if you decide to do this!!

[andagii-writes]

First Paragraph

Tagged by @eggletine! Thank you so much!

This will be the edited 1st paragraph of The Guidefire Heir!

-

When the gray overcast of summer prickled with the sprinkle of phantom rain, festival fever swept across and through the streets of the Floating Garden. Humidity crackled with lightning beyond the horizon visible from the rooftops, and yet, the people of the Garden strung their garlands and lanterns from their windows and lampposts. After all, with the Deluge Festival came the resuscitation of Celessund magic, and with that magic, life became more convenient. Tolerable. Livable.

Young Cian, face shadowed by the brim of his hood, stopped at yet another lantern shop, sliding his fingers over the crests and carvings of glass birds and flowers. He rolled on the worn heels of his dusty flats, the sandstone under his feet grinding as he cast glances up and down the line of festival stalls. A humid puff of wind carried the damp scent of the Garden’s fountains and waterways. Cian sniffed. He wanted a lantern.

And the shopkeep was out.

-

I’m working on Sunset Stars right now, but I’m down to make a taglist for Guidefire Heir as I keep working on it. Please let me know if you’d like to be on it!

[andagii-writes]

Rough sketched map of Celessund, the setting of The Guidefire Heir.

I made this in a fit of inspiration, to be honest. All I knew was that I needed 5 key features: 

1, a basin for The Floating Garden, capital city of Celessund 2, a wasteland/badlands area that makes up the majority of Celessund 3, a cape for Ama-misaki, the sanctuary of the Hydrals 4, a mountain range for Yata-zan, sanctuary of the Gaelites, and the Village of Hidden Rain 5, a plains area for the Guidefire Grave

Is it geographically accurate? Probably not, but I’ll be revising Celessund’s features as I keep writing the story.

Then, a few bonuses for you all: my preliminary scribbles on Cian’s journey across Celessund. “Illise” and “Darius” were Shiki’s and Cian’s prototype names, so...

“Last camp together?”

Well what ever could that mean?

(Also on WordPress.)

[andagii-writes]

Even if this wasteland runs me dry, you’ll still never catch me. That I can guarantee.

The Guidefire Heir (2/?) - Shiki Synopsis

“Tidelines ripple across your breast, rain showers from your wrists and steps--the world shifts with your dance, and yet, Shiki, you hesitate. Why?”

music theme: imaginary folklore - nujabes

Role: side/mother Age: 28 Magic: Hydral Likes: new dresses and robes | desserts | performing Dreams: of living a normal, safe life with Cian and her husband

Find this moodboard with Shiki’s mini-profile over at WordPress!

[andagii-writes]

I’ll never get it, Mother. Where do any of us belong?

The Guidefire Heir (1/?) - Cian Synopsis

“Light the sky for those who cannot see, Cian. You alone are our guide.”

music theme: boy - instupendo

Role: protagonist Age: 12 Magic: Aural Likes: rainy nights | star-gazing | trinkets and accessories Dreams: a safe place to call home

[andagii-writes]

What’s your favorite part about writing your different OCs? What’s something you’ve learned unexpectedly about them?

Thanks for the ask, anon!

Writing different OCs, from Kutone to Levy, Darius to Cian, and even my oldest fan OCs to my newest characters, lets me view different worlds from different perspectives. Even though I consider my characters as offshoots of me, they each have such wildly different (and refreshing!) ways of perceiving their unique situations, that every time I write them, I’m always discovering new things about them.

It’s like… these characters are stars in their own universe, and as I write them, I get to sit back and stargaze and map new constellations as they pass, collide, and intersect each other.

Lately, I’ve been working on plotting Guidefire Heir. Part of the plotting project has been mapping out the protagonists’ internal and external arcs. I’ve discovered that my characters tend to want things they believe their opposite, out of their control or reach. Like…

Cian is softspoken and obedient, but wishes for his own independent voice.

Shiki fronts as an outspoken thrill-seeker, but wants stability and security without drawing attention.

And if we’re talking Sunset Stars (another post about this coming later!!!) Levy is a whirlwind of rage and brimstone, but desperately wants love and forgiveness.

And even in writing Sunset Stars, I’ve discovered that while Levy regards everything with callous apathy, he perks up noticeably - almost childishly! - when it’s about something he’s interested in.

Writing’s always been about these unexpected discoveries for me. That’s why I’ll never tire of it!

[andagii-writes]

The Weekly Andagii - 4.8.2019

This week was a slow week, fraught with way too many frustrating distractions that made me stare at my notebooks and think, "What the heck am I doing with any of this?" You know, one of those weeks where I looked over at my sister and said, "Is any of my writing worth anyone's time?"

To which my sister replied, "How dare you assume your writing wastes my time."

All this to say, the best sister in the world is waiting for me to finish this update so we can go play Minecraft together.

Last Week's Entry

Today's Topics: The Guidefire Heir (Excerpt Included!) Within the Hearts of Sunset Stars General Life

The Guidefire Heir

Every letter I write in these notebooks for this story, is another step toward someday having the physical book in my hands. That's what I keep telling myself every time my hand stops and the guilt sets in. Writing Guidefire Heir has been a re-exercise in figuring out how to get into that zen mode of writing, writing, writing. Honestly, it's aggravating to have to repeat this process again, because while writing A Drop Echoes, I was there. I was in that meditative state of words and images coming onto the screen directly from my thoughts, and now?

Now it's like I've lost my innocence again and have to go on a long journey to find it again. Am I complaining? Sort of.

Cian's finally opened his mouth and spoken within the story, in-dialogue with his teacher, who I'm talking about for the very first time in-blog.

"Cian, a little too late today, don't you think?" Cian, jumping, pulled his hood tighter. "S-sorry, Professor Rhegel. Festival prep had me busy?" Rhegel sighed. "You could at least face me while you apologized." "Um...!" Relax, and think, Cian told himself. Mother would stay calm, that's how she got out of so many close scrapes, and why the Gaelites still couldn't catch her. He loosened his grip on his hood, and slowly, carefully, turned toward his Professor. "Professor" hardly suited Rhegel's young features, but he'd somehow mastered the teacher's stern, rebuking expression. Arms crossed underneath his sweeping mantle of black feathers, he regarded Cian with an irritated crease in his brow. Even with a slight breeze rippling through his long dark hair tied over one shoulder, Rhegel softened none. "Vest open." "Huh?" Rhegel uncrossed his arms and gestured to Cian's fists clenched at the hem of his vest. "'Tis cute of you to think you know how to play dumb, but you forget I'm your teacher."

Hmmm... I notice I keep using "Hydrals" and "Gaelites" within the body of these posts. No worries, I'm planning a few posts regarding the races of Celessund very soon.

That said, check out the map I drew!

Within the Hearts of Sunset Stars

Instead of talking about the fact I'm stuck on a scene, I want to talk about a couple sketches I have sitting around for Sunset Stars.

In the middle of finishing the draft for A Drop Echoes, a new character within the same universe started inspiring me to draw him.

Meet Levy Luce Young.

He's a pretty face with far too much attitude, and hates he's getting exiled to the boonies for summer vacation. Exiled, yes, though I'll save the specifics for the fic.

While his brother settles the arrangements to get Levy kicked out of the city, Levy meets a certain kid...

That one on the right. Darius. Not only is he prototype for Cian in Guidefire Heir, but he's also the son of a certain woman Levy hates even more than himself or his exile.

What better way to get back at that woman, than to mess with her little boy?

Not that Darius is a pushover though, which I hope to get to even more this week and get myself un-stuck from this scene.

...I could always skip it, huh?

General Life

I have far too much to think about. I keep telling myself to take it all in stride and tackle one thing at a time, but I can't seem to find the one loop that'll untangle the entire knot-ball.

But I'm trying.

Writing is all about taking risks, isn't it? And the same applies to life. I think I've been living in fear for a long time, and I really want this year to be the year that I turn things around for myself.

In terms of writing, I've set my goals: start uploading Sunset Stars mid-June, and finish the preliminary draft of Guidefire Heir by the end of this year.

Are they viable goals?

They have to be. I know I can do it. I have to do it. Am I putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on myself? I'm not sure. But if I don't pressure myself, then who will?

I am tired, folks, very tired, but I want to keep going. I want to tell some good, memorable stories because they're all there in my head waiting for the right words to tell them. So I'll get there. I have to get there.

I want to get there.

Rolling Out

With that bit of internal monologue out of the way, I'm closing out this week's entry! I'm working to get over my shyness, so please feel free to shoot me a message! You can find me on WordPress as well!

Andagii out!

[andagii-writes]

The Weekly Andagii - 4.15.2019

(Also on WordPress.)

The inside of my head is so loud! I'm having too many thoughts; I'm getting that TV noise in my head and I can't make it shut up!

So I'm screaming about it here in an attempt to screw my head back on correctly.

Last Week’s Entry

Today’s Topics: Not Feeling It Andagii Reads - Furthermore, Tahereh Mafi General Life

Not Feeling It

I mention noise in my head, and I hesitate to call it anything else. I never was an ambitious kid, so I feel my lack of motivation now as an adult is the result of a residual laziness I've yet to kick. My constant "I'm tired" can hardly be an excuse anymore.

So I sit down, slap on my noise-cancelling headphones, look over my notes to refresh my memory...

...And then my mind and my body give out. All those ideas and thoughts that come to me in the shower, or while I'm washing dishes, just... refuse to come out. I instead stare at blank lined paper, or a blinking cursor. A half hour passes, and even if I force some words out, even if I get into some kind of rhythm, it's not the right rhythm.

The words don't feel right. They don't mesh, they're clashing with each other, they don't sound right. This isn't the dissonant noise associated with perfectionism, either. I almost feel like I've forgotten how to write, and as someone who doesn't have much to offer other than the stories I say I can write, this entire situation is as soul-crushing as it gets.

One thing at a time, I tell myself. It's temporary. I'll get my groove back. I'll be able to write again.

I listen to music as the soundtrack to my characters playing around.

I read books, "young reader" books, and highlight and annotate them.

I sketch out world-building notes for Guidefire Heir--what does the capital city, the Floating Garden, look like? I had an image of the street lamps,

(winding like frozen waves and alight with soft cloudy blues,)

so I made a bad sketch of it. I saw the capital city

(divided into its four quarters, and the city's aqueducts branching into eight bridges over the basin lake.)

I made a bad sketch of that too.

Guidefire Heir begins on the eve of Celessund's annual Deluge Festival. It's a lantern-lighting festival, so I looked up photos and info on lantern festivals around the world. I noted facts and laid them over the images in my head---

(Aha, I can embellish these lanterns if I did that instead!)

One thing at a time. I try to sit down again, to get the words out, but all I'm feeling again is murkiness. I need time, and I probably need help too.

But for now, I'm still able to get a depressing drabble out.

(Not that I'm going to link it, that's just a little too embarrassing!)

And I do mean to post some world-building notes soon too, specifically about each of the races of Celessund.

Andagii Reads

I finished Furthermore by Tahereh Mafi!

With my Cian being 12, Furthermore was a great point-of-reference for a fantasy adventure doubling as a coming-of-age story. Plus, Alice being a bangled dancer helped me find some beautiful descriptions to use as inspiration for describing Shiki.

A sassy omniscient narrator tells Alice's story like a fairy tale. It's a perfect combination with Mafi's poetic descriptions and images of both Ferenwood and Furthermore. The story does take its time in the beginning to introduce the reader to the world and language of the book, so I felt a bit of a learning curve there.

There is one other significant plot point that I felt didn't pay off the way I wanted it to, but I'm chalking it up to this book being written for a younger audience.

Which brings me to my point. Young readers' books are a great source for description and imagery references. That's why I really liked this book, and why I'm also looking forward to picking up the next installment, Whichwood.

General Life

In the middle of what I think is creative burnout, I got to sit in on my friend's wedding dress outfitting. It was so inspiring! Watching your friend get ready for her wedding, and seeing how excited she is for that day... It's her day to feel like a princess, and I got so damn emotional from understanding that, that I had to choke my tears down.

And that made me remember, that I used to be a pessimistic nihilist that spouted garbage like "a wedding dress symbolizes the death of your independence," or "a wedding is also a funeral," and other such melodrama. Which made me recall even further, that before those dark days, back in elementary school, I dressed up as a bride one year for Halloween. While I was still too young (and too smart) at the time to say I wanted to get married, I did know that mutual love was the basis for the happy marriage I dreamed about.

Someone would love me, and I would love them back.

I, too, weird, broken child that I was, could be loved. It was such a lovely thought!

So... what killed that little girl's hope so long ago?

I hope that, as I figure it out and come to terms with it, that I too can someday be that happy.

I hope all of you will be happy.

[andagii-writes]

Ever since downloading Scrivener, I’ve apparently written 3,310 words of The Guidefire Heir - not including the background info I’ve been scribbling into the “Research” section of the project.

Granted, it’s not a lot. I haven’t set a daily goal for myself since that kind of thing demotivates me very quickly.

But I’m writing the draft of my book about this smart, sweet pre-teen boy who goes on an adventure to find a safe home for his separated family,

and that is the most empowering thing for me right now.

[andagii-writes]

I downloaded the free trial of Scrivener and have been working with it to map out Guidefire Heir in greater detail.

Consider me a convert.

I’ll be using this for the A Drop Echoes rewrite, methinks.