#guhh like i Know it's not that popular over here (??) but COME ON

[skrunksthatwunk]

WHADDAYOU MEAN KAIJI'S ENGLISH RELEASE IS ONLY PART ONE IM GONNA KILL SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

[muwi-translates]

Otomate Party 2018 Collar x Malice Drama “The Liar’s Paradox”

Short drama featured in Otopa 2018. No spoilers.

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

Yanagi: ‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Tokyo, Shinjuku. A population of 330,000. Also known as the sleepless city, it’s now full of an unusually quiet atmosphere. Due to a series of murders, also known as the X-Day incidents, the whole country is being attacked by invisible evil. Even now, the murderer is hiding in the street somewhere, biding their time. Are they laughing at us, or are they mourning, kindled by the fire of hatred? It’s difficult to see the truth right now.

December 8th, 9:08PM.

Yanagi: An arson after a murder, it’s been two days now. It looks like there really is a gap in their plans...

Shiraishi: I knew you’d be here.

‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Yanagi: Shiraishi.

Shiraishi: Frowning again. Forget about being called a father, you’re already turning into a grandfather.

Yanagi: Shut it. Has the victim of today's arson been identified?

Shiraishi: Investigating burnt bodies takes time, you know. But it’s pretty much confirmed that they did it.

Yanagi: Then what do you want? Aren’t you busy?

Shiraishi: I saw that girl with the collar at Shinjuku today. She’s doing whatever she can to help by searching for clues. But you don’t seem to have given her any direction to work with.

Yanagi: Let’s see what happens. She’d be in danger if she got too involved with the case.

Shiraishi: The fact is that you don't want to get too involved with her, do you? Even though I don’t know what exactly happened to you before. Well? Why do you care so much about her?

Yanagi: Then, I want to ask something too. Why did the person who put that collar on Hoshino pick her?

Shiraishi: Even if you ask me I can’t answer that.

Yanagi: I asked because it’s you.

Shiraishi: What does that mean?‌ ​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Because I’m a good profiler? Or…?

Yanagi: …

Shiraishi: Keeping quiet at a time like this. Yanagi-kun truly is kind. 

Yanagi: Don’t be sarcastic. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I don’t feel that there's a point in me continuing to speculate.

Shiraishi: How wise. It’s not just me either. It’s the same for Sasazuka-kun and Enomoto-kun. There is no real trust between us​​​‌​‌��‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌, it’s just a relationship of cooperation. 

Yanagi: Exactly. 

---

Enomoto: At the end of the day, you're way too nasty. You can't make friends in this way, you’ll die alone!

Sasazuka: Are you a middle school student? If I end up a sporty idiot like you, I might as well spend the rest of my life alone and die.

‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Enomoto: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again-- you have SUCH an attitude. Anyways, I’ll never forgive you!

Yanagi: Enomoto, Sasazuka. What is it this time?

Enomoto: Yanagi-senpai, listen to me! That stupid Takeru used my favourite book as a placemat for the pot!

Yanagi: A placemat? 

Sasazuka: Ah, Yanagi-san. I got hungry so I used the kitchen for a bit. My bad.

Enomoto: Hey! If you cared about this kind of thing you’d apologise to me!

Shiraishi: Wow, it’s true, the book’s all crumbling. It’s that “100 Heart-jerking Love Confessions” book, right?” 

Enomoto: No! It’s the new one, “Heart-Jerking Date Ideas”!

Yanagi: You guys really fight about pointless things every time.

Sasazuka: He was the one who kept on droning on and on.

Shiraishi: Enomoto-kun, this book says that if you mess up a date idea once, you’ll have wasted half your life. Does that mean if you make two mistakes, your life is over? Enomoto-kun, doesn’t that mean you’ll be wasting your afterlife too?

Enomoto: Why’re you deciding that my life is gonna be a failure?!‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​���‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌

Shiraishi: That’s because… you know.

Sasazuka: It only takes one look at you.

Yanagi: It’s okay, Enomoto. Even if you fail to get a date ten times, your life isn’t going to be over.

Enomoto: You’re not following me at all!

Shiraishi: Anyhow, how do you not get tired of reading these trashy self-inspired books a hundred times? I think it's much more useful to ask people with experience. Those two are perfect.

Sasazuka: Even if we taught him, he wouldn’t be able to use it.

Enomoto: Yanagi-senpai, please teach me how to get a date.

Yanagi: Well… it’s different for everyone.

Shiraishi: I knew it, if Yanagi-kun’s going to talk about this then he’ll definitely say something embarrassing, won’t he? It’s stuff you can’t say in front of other people, right?

Yanagi: Don’t say misleading things like that. Besides, isn't that the only way to make an invitation?

Sasazuka: I can’t really imagine Yanagi-san saying sweet words. How would he ask?

Yanagi: Just… ask normally… Like if she’s free next week or…

Enomoto: O-Oh?! And then…?

Yanagi: A-And if she is… ask her if she wants to see a movie or something.

Enomoto: Why do you look so unconfident?!

Yanagi: When I think about it, I can count the number of times I’ve asked someone out on a date on both hands…

Enomoto: D-Don’t tell me... is this the calmness of a popular guy?!

Yanagi: That’s not what I meant--

Shiraishi: I was getting all excited… it turns out Yanagi-kun has such plain taste. How about you, Sasazuka-kun?

Sasazuka: Just do exactly what Yanagi-san said. It’s the same thing.

Enomoto: ...I’m still super angry but… teach me how to do it!

Sasazuka: “Come to my house tomorrow.”

Enomoto: IT’S NOT THE SAME AT ALL!

Sasazuka: And then, “Make some time tomorrow, I have a place I want to go.”

Enomoto: Why does it have to be tomorrow?! You barely gave her an advance notice!​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌ 

Sasazuka: And if she’s not free then make plans next time.

Shiraishi: Well, that was easy to understand, but is this going to move a girl’s heart?

Yanagi: Hey, don’t look at it like that. Sasazuka’s thinking about the other person too. He only invited them when he knew the other party was free.

Shiraishi: That’s because it would be very inefficient to meet up with her randomly.

Enomoto: Guhh! A guy that can take this so casually…! Fine, fine! What about you, Shiraishi-san---

[Phone buzz]

Yanagi: Ah, it’s mine. ...It’s a message from Okazaki.

Enomoto: Okazaki?! Yanagi-senpai, you exchanged details with him?

Yanagi: Just in case of emergencies. ...But this is…

Okazaki's text: “Even though it’s fun to hang out with everyone, next time, do you want to just go out alone with me?” 

Okazaki's text: “Sometimes, I just want to make you all mine. ...Hey, will you go on a date with me? (´ ω `*)”

Sasazuka: What’s this? Yanagi-san, is he making a pass at you?

Yanagi: Don’t say disgusting things like that. ...Maybe this is about the date...?

Okazaki's text: “Yoshinari-kun told me to give Mineo-kun some advice. How was it? ((((つ・ω・)つ”

Enomoto: Geh… I’m grateful but… the timing is a little too...

Okazaki's text: “I’m just gonna say I haven’t been eavesdropping or anything ☆(ゝω･)v”

Enomoto: GEH! HAH? What do you mean you ‘haven’t’? Do you usually bug us?!

Sasazuka: His kaomoji annoys me.

Yanagi: Well, then maybe he just happened to message at the right time.

Shiraishi: Okazaki-kun likes to take the easy way, doesn’t he? Shall we have Enomoto-kun try it out then?

Enomoto: Eh? Why me? To be honest I do know some real affectionate lines but...

‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Sasazuka: Your face is all red. Hurry up and say it so you can go and explode on your own.

Enomoto: Heh. I learnt this from books, so don’t be all surprised after hearing it!

---

Enomoto: Hey, if the world’s gonna be destroyed tomorrow, what will you do? Heh. If it were me, I’d want to have the most important person by my side, so I won’t have any regrets. That’s why… that’s why… before the world ends… go on a date with me.

---

Enomoto: Woah!!! How was that? Hey? ...Guys? H-How was that…? Yanagi-senpai? Huh? Oi… hey… huh? 

Enomoto: O-Oi… what do you think, Takeru? H-Hey… say something.

Sasazuka: Disgusting.

Enomoto: Eh?

Shiraishi: Is your head okay?

Enomoto: EH?!

Sasazuka: It was so shit it was beyond bioterrorism. Enough to make dead bodies come out.

‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Yanagi: Well… now’s a good time so let’s disperse for today.

Enomoto: HEY! WAIT!! HEY!!! Yanagi-senpai being nonchalant is the worst!!

Sasazuka: What about you, Shiraishi-san?

Shiraishi: Oh? It’s rare for Sasazuka-kun to show interest in me.

Sasazuka: Yeah. Because I saw something horrifying.

Shiraishi: If it’s a date… a couple just has to meet up, right?

Yanagi: That’s how it usually is.

Shiraishi: Then don’t you just need to organize what time to meet up with her today?

‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Enomoto: You think this is like a job?!

Shiraishi: Isn’t it? It’s been like that so far.

Enomoto: ...I thought this before, but Shiraishi-san’s view on love is a little not right. Even to Hoshino, you’re more interested in her as an object for observation.

Shiraishi:‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌ I really am interested in her though? She has very amusing reactions, I can never get bored of her.

Yanagi: It’s because you don’t really understand interpersonal distance. It would be hard to find a true romance.

Shiraishi: Saying whatever you want, hm? Besides, isn’t love just an illusion? The residual temperature felt is cognitive dissonance caused by tension, and it is also due to the secretion of phenylethylamine, a neurotransmitter--

Enomoto: Not this kind of theoretical stuff-- love can truly change a person. For real. And it can make you see the world in a new light…

Sasazuka: This coming from the guy who has no experience. 

Enomoto: Shut up! Anyway, there might come a day where Shiraishi-san encounters this kind of love and starts feeling confused!

Shiraishi: Hahaha, that’s impossible. Me? Things like love and feelings? ...There’s no way for me to get involved with such vague things. 

Yanagi: You guys, that’s enough. Don’t you have work to do? 

‌​​​‌​‌​‍‌​​‌​‌‌​‍‌​​‌‌​‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​​‍‌‌​​‌​​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌​‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌‌‍‌‌​​‌‌‌​‍‌​‌‌‌‌‌‌Sasazuka: I’m done wasting my time talking to you guys. I’m going.

Enomoto: Alright! I’m gonna go shower then.

Shiraishi: That was a good break, I’ll be going back to the station.

Yanagi: Shiraishi.

Shiraishi: Hm?

Yanagi: I can’t really imagine a day where you’ll change but… there’s no such thing as something that’s impossible.

Shiraishi: ...What? Are you concerned because I said I was interested in her? Such a worry-wart. I have no interest in playing love.

Yanagi: Don’t joke around. I didn’t expect you to have human feelings. But… even if you haven’t changed, the environment is changing.

Shiraishi: What do you mean?

Yanagi: Enomoto, Sasazuka, me… even Hoshino. We all met you, and got to know you. Even if it’s just for a bit, it’ll be hard to ignore our feelings about you.

Shiraishi: You’re all good natured people, but everyone has limits. No matter how kind people are, they will feel hatred after being betrayed. ...And you didn't trust me in the first place.

Yanagi: It’s not about trust. No one wants to ignore time spent together. 

Shiraishi: ...

Yanagi: That’s how people change. Don’t forget that you influence others all the time.

Shiraishi: Fufu, Yanagi-kun, you’re so strange. I shall take this to heart.

Yanagi: That’s that, then. I’m gonna go for a smoke.

Shiraishi: Didn’t you just smoke one-- … he left. 

Shiraishi: Looks like we’ve reached the conclusion of our discussion. If you fall in love, the way you see the world could change… 

How ridiculous… thinking of someone as important, and to be thought of as important, to me, these are all unnecessary feelings. These things… I can’t even hold them if I wanted to. But… if… a day like this comes, I’ll...