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Beach Style Kids Portland Maine Mid-sized beach style boy medium tone wood floor kids' room photo with white walls
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writing dragon age fanfiction is so so so so hard for me because every time i spot another historical inaccuracy that’s like “i don’t care that it’s fantasy they have the same level of technology this is WRONG” i have to have a moment of like. “kaed NO ONE ELSE will EVER care about this. you watch ‘ranking period dramas on corset accuracy both in construction and writing’ videos on youtube for entertainment normal people simply do not give a FUCK about medieval castle layouts!”
and yet this cycle continues, because the dragon age devs so so so so clearly DID research but they did BAD research and it HAUNTS me. like WHYYYYY is there only one courtyard that isn’t even really a courtyard in castle cousland WHY is the “main hall” huge with no furniture while the great hall “dining room” is tiny as fuck and in a horrible to access spot WHY are there no ovens in the kitchens where the FUCK do they bake the breaaaad!! like ok fine cool servants get beds in thedas i’ll bite. that fucks hard, actually! but WHY are there more servant rooms than rooms for visiting nobles do you honestly think anybody in the middle ages fucking had servant rooms???? they slept on the FLOOR in the GREAT HALL! and WHY is there a fucking library and a ‘treasury’ (which what the fuck is THAT there should be a DON-JON in there you locked your valuables in the TOWER at the TOP, not in ONE room centrally located on the first floor with TWO guards!!) like i KNOW it was for level design i KNOW it was but oh my fucking g-d it’s gonna KILL ME to write out creeping through corridors when there WERE NO CORRIDORS! like look at this. look at this.
castle cousland: stupid, awful design, honestly they kinda asked to be coup’ed with their garbage unsurvivable castle that supposedly nobody sieges regularly even though it’s literally a death trap. there is ONE main exit, no way to trap your enemies, and only one official guard post that i can see. fuck awful.
harlech castle in wales: it took 115 years for someone to successfully take this castle, and it’s withstood COUNTLESS sieges, you can go visit it right the hell now if you go to wales (not at all getting into the evilness of the english building castles in wales, that’s not the point i’m trying to make.) see how the outside makes it so that even if your enemies breach the walls, to actually reach anyone important they have to survive the volleys of arrows from the ramparts? and then presumably kill everyone ON the ramparts, or the minute you go to open a door or try to drag someone out, you’re going to get shot full of arrows. that’s after breaching TWO heavy doors (which would require a battering ram both times) which would wake up the entire castle LONG before they got anywhere NEAR the heir to the castle’s wife and child.
and before somebody says “oh well kaed maybe you just don’t know your castle building periods very well” think again. i know my castle building periods. that style above is concentric (harlech castle’s initial construction was finished in 1289 and was one of the first finished castles in england in this style,) which came after the keep and bailey style, which came after the motte-and-bailey style, which came after the burh (which arguably WASN’T a castle but whatever,) etc. there are no fortified castles in english history that look like castle cousland, because it’s fucking indefensible. now, this does lead to the question of “oh, well, what is the timeline for the game, maybe there’s something you missed!” so let’s examine the time period of origins:
at the very, very latest, origins could be based off of the BEGINNING of the british “wars of the roses” (the civil wars between the various members of the house plantagenet) which began in the 1450s— this is personally what /i/ think origins is based off of, for a couple reasons. 1) trevelyan was a real person— g.m. trevelyan was a british historian who wrote about the wars of the roses, and in one instance there’s a quote of his the devs almost verbatim used for the design of the free marches: “the Wars of the Roses were to a large extent a quarrel between Welsh Marcher Lords, who were also great English nobles, closely related to the English throne…” they ixnayed the part about the marcher lords being ferelden nobles, i imagine because it was too complicated, but trevelyan? marcher lords? a close relationship with this country? (i.e. like somewhere that might take in their refugees after a catastrophe?) cmon. 2) because ferelden is fucking huge and the histories are kinda weird, because they aren’t 1 for 1, i’m gonna say that we have to use the norman conquest of england as our unification date. in other contexts i wouldn’t try to argue this, but in this one, i’m saying 1066 is the unification date of the anglo-saxon kingdoms into england. calenhad gives us a hard unification date for ferelden— the first landsmeet was in 5:42 exalted, ergo origins is 388 years later. the wars of the roses started in 1455, 389 years after the norman conquest ended. 3) the wars of the roses happened because of a succession crisis— admittedly, these two succession crises are very, very different, but there are definitely parallels between loghain and henry vi and alistair and edward iv. henry vi was crowned at a young age (loghain largely ruled for maric at various points in his life, starting when he was very young,) and was very ineffectual— he suffered from an unknown mental illness which made him extremely unstable and unable to rule for large periods of time. loghain, on the other hand, ruled when the /theirins/ weren’t stable, so you argue he had the opposite— meanwhile, his policies WEREN’T sustainable, whatever you might think of him. loghain is too shaped by his own experiences to be a truly good leader, and by the time his rule/anora’s rule is threatened by cailan, he’s sacrificed enough of his principles that he’s willing to commit atrocities (notably, margaret of anjou ruled during the worst parts of her husband’s mental instability, which again could apply to loghain OR anora, as they ruled fairly jointly after a certain point.) edward iv was the son of richard of york, who was eligible for the throne at a very young age (18 to alistair’s 19) because his father was dead. he was coaxed and led into battle by his cousin, the earl of warwick (also known as the kingmaker— sound like a protagonist you might know?) that’s about where the similarities end, but that’s largely because alistair is a grey warden— if he weren’t, he’d probably be able to have kids and end the question of succession. but he can’t, which, assuming the devs eventually remember, WILL lead to another civil war. hence why i say this is at the BEGINNING of the wars of the roses.
another option that could be argued but makes much less sense and i have no evidence for is that alistair has similarities to edward ii (second son who only became king because his brother died, married a more powerful woman to consolidate power, not very good at ruling, no offense to alistair,) but that still puts origins at like 1307-1327. in either case, they would have been using concentric castles— and given what time period castle cousland was originally built in, it would have been built as a motte-and-bailey, which would NOT have lasted four hundred years. so the castle had to have been rebuilt, and bryce cousland would have had to update that rebuilt castle, because no one lived in it during the orlesian occupation. so where the hell does this winding, weird multi-level design come from?
i GUESS— and this is SO charitable— they could have designed castle cousland based off of a country house design from the mid 1500s, but none of them look like that, either. they’re exclusively rectangular, for one thing, and one of the huge bragging rights of owning one was that they weren’t fortified— they came into fashion during a period of relative stability under the tudor rule, when it was considered guache and maybe even treasonous to build a fortified castle. ferelden is NOWHERE NEAR a period of stability, if anything at the end of origins they’re entering their greatest period of INstability, given what happens in inquisition, and that no matter who ends up on the throne, there’s no way for them to have children. so there’s NO way this castle is a country house, or inspired by one.
leaving us with the final conclusion that a) the game devs definitely did do research into the time period because i can fairly directly trace a line between the event i think inspired origins and the plot, but they didn’t do enough research to figure out what the everloving fuck the BUILDINGS looked like. so these castles make no fucking sense and can’t possibly be called historically accurate even with the fantasy defense, and b) i care WAAAY too much about this for somebody who isn’t even a medieval historian. my area of expertise is the paleolithic, i have no clue why this bugs me so bad i spent four fucking hours writing this post.
#anyone: so what are you getting up to on spring break? me: uhhhhhhhhhhh *spends four hours writing a bioware calloit post about their#historically inaccurate castles* Normal Things#it took me four hours bc i had to pare it down like 8 times btw. i could have kept going#btw there are image descriptions on the maps#dragon age origins#dragon age#long post#actually i take it back i DO know why it bugs me and it’s because they made this g-dawful design part of the plot on every single occasion#like highever? would never have been sacked if not for this design. redcliffe? whole story is about infiltrating this castle through these#extensive dungeons they never would have fucking built bc there’s no use for them. the palace in denerim (which doesn’t even have a name)#is so so so fucked. we can’t even get into it but i HATE it. denerim is a city small enough that not all the banns arls and teyrns can have#their own estates in the city meaning they would need rooms in the palace dedicated to them. where are those rooms??? if’s tiny as hell. all#they needed to do was to put up some extra wings you can’t go into that’s all they needed. i’m so so so annoyed by this it’s such a pet#peeve of mine. especially since skyhold is SOOOOOO good if’s the pinnacle of dragon age buildings no one else will ever be her#there’s multiple courtyards. there’s a garden. there’s the stables centrally located there are concentric walls there’s that weird palace#thing in the center with the world’s hottest great hall. there’s a FORGE there’s a keep there’s a guest wing there’s a tabern there’s#ANOTHER tower you can build there are sentry posts there’s a gatehouse there’s a bridge no one will ever replace her in my heart i know this#skyhold baby you are so so so sexy and delicious and everything a fantasy castle in a video game should be MWAH
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Traditional Kitchen New York Kitchen with a farmhouse sink, shaker cabinets, green cabinets, stainless steel appliances, soapstone countertops, and a peninsula in a medium-sized, elegant, open-concept home.
#black countertop#great room#farm sink#chrome faucet#cottage style guest house#built in cabinetry#cottage
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Craft Room Craft Room in San Francisco Inspiration for a mid-sized timeless built-in desk carpeted and brown floor craft room remodel with beige walls
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Bedroom - Transitional Bedroom
#a sizable image of a guest bedroom with a transitional laminate floor and white walls. guest#built-in storage#kids rooms#laminate#bunk beds
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That ‘is this UK uni accommodation or a Swedish prison’ game is so funny but also so depressing
#literally it’s bringing back flashbacks of my final year of undergrad when i realised i was going to have to live on campus#or close to campus because i’d forgotten how to drive because i’d been in america for a year sans car#but then i missed the deadlines for good acommodation (because america) so i went for the cheapest option that was still available to me#which was a room in a building that ended up being CONDEMNED at the end of that academic year#guys it was so bad. there was racist graffiti all over the walls because no one had any respect for the place#broken glass in the courtyard. no lounge; you had to sit on the metal stairs to hang out#the stairwells just had brick walls. the kitchens were built to be shared by 6 persons maximum but forced to house 9 so they were so cramped#it was unbelieveable. i started eating at weird times so i wouldn’t have to awkwardly stare at someone while waiting for a counter/stovetop#to be free. on top of this there were wasp and silverfish infestations; my window was so drafty that hailstones came in once#the mattresses were full of fiberglass and felt like they were made up entirely of springs; and there were ground-in vomit and piss stains#on my chair and floor#and i paid ~£90.50 per week~ for this#the only thing that kept me sane was the free bus pass. i never missed a class and i went to campus every single day#and attended tons of random events and guest lectures just to not be in my room. i’d be the only person in the library at 8am on a sunday#my flatmates were a bunch of insane first years who drank and screamed at all hours so that didn’t help either. i didn’t make any friends#it was just so bad. there were never any community events taking place either and i saw the RAs exactly once. they were completely useless#reception nearly lost the kindle i ordered. i thought about doing laundry once and saw that the laundry room was absolute unmitigated chaos#so i was like ‘fuck it i’ll just wait until i’m home next weekend’ and i went into town to buy clothes to tide me over#it was just such a horrible experience. and i hate that it’s a universal one#uk universities are really like ‘give us £9k in tuition fees and also pay an arm and a leg for your accommodation.#no we will not be improving our accommodation’ it makes me fucking crazy. like where is my money GOING#you find out they spent millions refurbishing a building that didn’t need to be refurbished and you’re like. you could’ve replaced#the carpet in my room for maybe a couple of hundred quid considering how small the room is#pisses me off. my advice to undergrads is visit potential halls of residence and read reviews of them#and don’t just let them dazzle you with the tour where they only show you the good rooms - poke around. see if there’s damp or wasps#look for stains. etc. or better yet; find a half decent landlord and rent a room in a house#i had a way better time during my master’s and it was because i talked to landlords and visited their houses and brought my nosy mum#and i picked a landlord who only housed postgrads; mature students & professionals. you couldn’t pay me to live in halls again#personal#rant
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Every time I see anything about Europeans not having screens on their windows I remember that one post “this is why you got the plague”. I cannot read anything about Europe and window screens without remembering that post, and honestly, I am still confused as to why people there don’t have screens
#emma posts#around here if you had no screens you’d be getting west Nile and shit just because you wanted some nighttime summer breeze#even without west Nile I don’t want more mosquitoe bites than necessary#plenty of other stuff would get in too. but you would be in mosquitoe hell#how do you guys live with biting stuff getting in your house? with flies getting in your kitchen?#it only happens here if someone leaves the door open too long or they have the lights on when they open the door at night#I mean. flies get in when it starts to get cold. but it would be way worse without window screens#and I’m pretty sure mosquitoes don’t know flies’ mysterious secrets for getting through small openings#at least most flies that get in houses don’t bite#if you leave the door open and a horse fly or deer fly gets in it’s shitty#those fuckers bite#and ticks! They usually don’t get right next to your house. but that depends on what’s around your house#and mosquitoe bites itch for DAYS#how are you guys not just getting diseases and unpleasant bites in your sleep?#and what happens if a bird accidentally flies into your living room?#if that ever happens here there’s a lot of panicking between both the bird and the humans#and I love bats but you really don’t want them getting in your house and that would just make it easier#I love them a lot but they are very good at carrying diseases. they are built different when it comes to immune systems in mammals#and if you leave your window open at night and don’t have some dog to scare them off you know raccoons would be all over your kitchen#and mice and rats too. maybe squirrels. rodents get in sometimes other ways but that’s just opening the door for them like welcome guests#if they aren’t pets then you probably don’t want them there especially for sanitary reasons#and bugs that like to eat your food!#I like animals but a lot of them aren’t great in your house#and when mice have gotten into my family’s house and realized that there were multiple cats they would just hide somewhere out of reach#until they died. even with live traps around they didn’t always move from their hiding spots out of fear#it has to be a terrible way to go. I feel bad for them#more would end up dying that way or from the cats eating them if they could just wander in through open windows. often when they do get#inside it’s because a crack formed somewhere in the window insulation#and your cat could just yet themselves off the second floor or higher. one time I had the screen off for something and my cat wandered onto#the roof and only came back in when he noticed I was panicking
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on my train im going home i can't wait to shower in my own private shower and sleep in a room that doesn't also contain 5 other random strangers :)))
#i actually had a really good hostelling experience i LOVED the one in edinburgh even though i was absolutely frigid the first night#it turns out they forgot to turn the heat on for my room and the host did not get mad when i informed him that i stole a second blanket#the second night when the heat was on AND i had 2 blankets i slept like a baby :)#and bc my glasgow hostel was right over a gay nightclub i expected the noise to be wayyy worse. they provide guests free earplugs and#everything. but noise was really just an issue in the morning which was fine#and there was shelving built in behind my top bunk so i had a ridiculous amount of space just for my things
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I feel like Bruce Wayne projects the kind of amiable playboy 'fun' vibe that he'd be the type of celebrity that certain interviewers feel comfortable surprising with puppies.
You know the kind of shows I mean.
The late-night talk show situations where they're making benign small talk with their smiling guest, and there's a segment where animals get brought out, usually to talk about some sort of ecological relief effort.
So you're watching your trash TV talk show late at night, and you get to watch billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne be begrudgingly talked into holding a (relatively) harmless creature which inevitably gets a lot of delighted shrieks from the audience as it starts being a lot more active than the handler promised. And to his credit, Bruce doesn't flinch, he doesn't freak out. But his eyes are a little wide, and his voice a little tight as the smile on his face takes on a slight rictus quality before he's inevitably rescued by an apologetic handler who is also laughing because they all know there was no real danger, it was just funny to put Bruce, who is an undeniable good sport and already laughing along, out of his comfort zone for the sake of charity.
Meanwhile, up in the Justice League headquarters, several founding members of the League are wondering how fast they can get a fake Oscar award shipped to the space station because fuck off. Absolutely fuck off, Bruce. Where the fuck did he study? Juilliard? (Probably.)
(Clark ends up going to a novelty store during the commercial break. It's faster than trying to get anything shipped, even with the infrastructure Bats built for them. He finds it several days later taped to his console in a conspicuously empty briefing room. It's gaudy and awful, the words "Best Actor" engraved on the plaque. No one's around to see him smile. No one comments when it vanishes. Everyone thinks it's been yeeted out an airlock. Dick absolutely comments when it shows up in the manor, stashed in one of the trophy cases that sprung up for all the bat kids' school awards. Bruce has no idea how it got there. Must have been Alfred. (It was not.))
Anyway, consider, for your amusement, Bruce Wayne getting highjacked on The Gotham Toight Show with a handful of wriggling puppies and, for a split second, not having to pretend he's delighted to be there.
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I’ve reread the novels so many times that they’re starting to make sense, and i had forgotten the deeply satisfying sense of dislocation that comes with reading a Tamsyn Muir story for the first time.
guys if we're all feeling this insane about a 32 page short story that expanded a 30 second scene from Nona the Ninth. how are any of us gonna survive when the entire full length book Alecto the Ninth comes out. there is still an entire locked tomb book that we haven't read yet. what are we gonna do.
#tlt#the locked tomb#the unwanted guest#you’ve heard of puzzle box books#tlt is an escape room series#except so many of us have instead built nests in the walls
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Guest in Charlotte
A medium-sized guest bedroom in the mountain style has a dark wood floor and a brown floor, gray walls, and no fireplace.
#attic#attic bonus room murphy bed#bedroom#black leather sofa#guest room#tufted leather sofa#wood built ins
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Beach Style Closet Example of a mid-sized beach style medium tone wood floor and brown floor built-in closet design
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Guest in Charlotte
A medium-sized guest bedroom in the mountain style has a dark wood floor and a brown floor, gray walls, and no fireplace.
#attic#attic bonus room murphy bed#bedroom#black leather sofa#guest room#tufted leather sofa#wood built ins
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Guest in Charlotte
A medium-sized guest bedroom in the mountain style has a dark wood floor and a brown floor, gray walls, and no fireplace.
#attic#attic bonus room murphy bed#bedroom#black leather sofa#guest room#tufted leather sofa#wood built ins
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Guest in Charlotte
A medium-sized guest bedroom in the mountain style has a dark wood floor and a brown floor, gray walls, and no fireplace.
#attic#attic bonus room murphy bed#bedroom#black leather sofa#guest room#tufted leather sofa#wood built ins
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Traditional Home Office - Built-In Design example of a study room with a large, traditional built-in desk, a medium-tone wood floor, blue walls, and no fireplace.
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