#guess whose had the scene on repeat just to hear the music

[a-mellowtea]

“I am Keyleth; an Air Ashari, like my mother before me. I was made to pass through fire.”

[bluginkgo]

Another Nuzi rant. Don't mind me

Spoilers, duh

Since I've already done a quick character study/nuzi rant from N's side. Here's one from Uzi's side!

This is probably gonna be just me repeating things people have already said... again. But I love Uzi. (Just like every other character in Murder Drones, honestly.) But Liam did a wonderful job of making an angsty, emo girl, borderline maniac that we know as Uzi. Her character, to me at least, never became the annoying overdramatized and overused stereotype that follows her style. She has real reasons for being the way she is.

A loner, whose dad loves nothing but doors. School is not different, as her classmates pretty much forget about her existence on a day to day basis. No one to talk to, no one to connect with, gives her the angsty side that I absolutely adore. Because underneath all of that toughness is just a lonely little drone who was left by herself since early age. But guess who comes in and busts down those walls (literally and figuratively)?

Our good boi N! Despite their rough start, N never really gave Uzi a reason not to trust him. Their chance encounter, and a broken sensor, allowed them to have the talk that might have never happened. Their beginning might have been a lucky accident, but for the rest of the season, we can see how both sides had to work to make well... Nuzi work!

For Uzi, asking for help is like asking for a death sentence probably. After being on her own for so long, she doesn't expect anyone to help. With that information in mind, the first time she let's that wall crumble was episode 2, Heartbeat.

"Uzi, shoot! Or give it to me!"

Granted, we all know that was not our N. But in that moment, when Uzi was in an enough distressed state, she sought help in N. We all know how that ended, though. Absolute Solver took advantage of that and almost killed her, before N once again sweeped in to save her. The one and only notorious Nuzi misunderstanding was, for better or for worse, cleared up pretty quickly. Seeing as glitchproduction only has so much money at their disposal, they can't really drag this ordeal out. Personally, I'm glad that it didn't. The long drama that is just a misunderstanding after misunderstanding gets quite tedious to follow.

So, moving forward in The Promening, Uzi once again seeks out N when she's in distress. When she sees and hears about what Doll and Lizzy were gonna do, she books it to the only person she knows can help her.

N! Now don't get me wrong. Uzi, by herself is plenty strong. She's shown off her fighting and capabilities, and would have probably been able to take V on. She's taken J down before, aaaand Uzi does technically also take V down in Cabin Fever. But she still went out of her way to go find N. So they could work together and get this mess sorted out.

And then there's this. God I love Cabin Fever, and surprisingly no, not for the Falling.... for you? scene. No, I loved the entire Uzi going on murder spree because she can! The music was such a banger too. But back to Uzi. She recognizes V and briefly snaps back to her usual self. Curious isn't it? N and Uzi both tried reaching out to V, but because V is so untrusting (and we all understand why from ep 5, Home). Here Uzi tried to ask V for help... in form of N.

I find it interesting how ever since Uzi met N and V, she's been getting better at asking for help. Sure, V shot her down because, once again, V was scared. Uzi was turning into the monster that only Cyn has been capable of creating. This soon leads to N yeeting Uzi into the f*cking stratosphere and the two have a chat.

I love how the animators included Uzi hiding behind her bat wings.

Her metaphorical walls were back up. And guess who broke them yet again.

The bestest boi N! And ever since this moment, N and Uzi are way more open.

Episode 5 was taking place in N's memories. But episode 6 is where their trust and care shines. Yeah, sure, there was the hand holding. And it was a big moment! But I enjoyed the little things more. Uzi checking in on N, nodding at his little comments and jokes.

Summary: I love Nuzi. Send help they're on my mind 24/7.

[jump-wings]

For @almost-a-class-act prompts

October 1st - Prompt # 1

Character A tries to convince Character B that it's too early to put the Halloween decorations up OR that it's too early to get the house ready for winter.

Warnings: War time language

Daires of Wartime - Day 1

1 October

Someone had found the frequency of one of the Russian radio stations on the radio. Even though no one could understand a single word, we were listening to nothing but the songs that had been released there recently. The melodies of the songs, the voices of the singers, the way the words were spoken, managed to reach something inside our hearts. Even Toye once said something about Ivan knowing how to make music, with a spent cigarette dangling from his lips. Webster tried to write something about Russian critics, but he gave up when he realized that no one was listening to him.

The same radio station was playing now. One advantage of listening to songs in a language we don't understand is that we can put whatever we want and want to feel into their melodies. We were now starting to recognize some parts. One of my favorites was playing. A slow, romantic -I think- song. I like to think that this song is about two lovers who can't get together. And of course, there are gunshots coming from outside the barn we were sitting in. They are very distant, but in recent months they have become like background music in movies in our lives. The background music of our lives while the scenes are flowing. Ingrid is luckier than us. When he said "Play it, Sam!" she heard Time Goes By. We say "Play, Hans!" and hear the sounds of ceaseless artillery fire.

There's that shadow again. Outside the door, it extends with the light coming from the bare bulb, fading into the darkness and disappearing. I know very well whose shadow you are. Don't I always see him that way, from behind the shadows, through the fog? Who could really look directly at his face? Who did he let? Why does he surround himself with stories that are repeated over and over again, each time adding a new detail? I'd like to know you, Speirs. Lieutenant Speirs, I'd really like to know you. Ron, I want to get to know you.

He's talking to Dick outside. Only Dick walked in, followed by Lewis. But that's it. He did not come. I would like to see him one last time. Even if it's from afar. Quietly. I wonder if he ever thought about me? Is he aware that I exist? I wish I could hunt his October nights. Let him think of me in his bed every night, before falling asleep, just like I think of him. With an ache in his heart but at the same time, with a smile.

Lipton is next to me, reading a letter from his family. There's a funny part where his father and mother argue about decorations to hang. He made me read it too. His mother wants to hang Halloween's decorations already, his father says there is still time. Even though Halloween is foreign to me, I think I have learned more or less what it is. I guess this is what a house is like. A complete home. Maybe if I had a house, people at home would write me letters and what they wrote would be like Lipton's. Small family arguments, daily chores, gossip about neighbors and relatives. Vest would bring me stamped envelopes with pictures of flowers on them. My name would be written on it in my brother's bad handwriting. My mother would write how sorry she was that I was away and that she cried every day. My father would ask about my health. But nope. I don't have such a family, and since I don't have such a family, I have no excuse to buy stamps with pictures of flowers on them.

I put my head on Lipton's shoulder, it's too heavy for me to carry anymore. I will close my eyes and continue listening to his letter.

[writinglizards]

I’m Kinda Helpless (and I Need You)

Summary: It's not anyone else's fault he fell in love with a witcher who decided he wants nothing to do with him. They're here to have fun. He can pretend to do that, for a little while.

Jaskier, at a New Year's party, gets a terrifying call from a certain witcher.

Read on Ao3

"Come on, Jask," Priscilla's saying, tugging him out of the kitchen and away from the alcohol table, "we brought you here to enjoy yourself, not drink yourself stupid. You could do that at home."

"This is only my fourth drink, Pri," he whines, spinning the mostly empty wine glass in his hands absently as Priscilla continues to lead him through the densely packed crowd to where Essi's chatting with..."Valdo," Jaskier hisses.

"Jaskier," Valdo returns, smile bright. Jaskier scowls harder and both Essi and Priscilla roll their eyes.

"Play nice, boys," Essi chastises before catching her girlfriend around the waist and reeling her in to press a kiss to her cheek.

"Just like college," Pri laughs, looping the arm not wound around Essi around Jaskier's neck and dragging him in with her. Valdo watches with an indulgent smile and Jaskier finds he doesn't even hate him, much. It's frustrating.

He forces a smile and tries not to let his sour mood drag the rest of them down with him. It's not anyone else's fault he fell in love with a witcher who decided he wants nothing to do with him. They're here to have fun. He can pretend to do that, for a little while.

They chat for a little before Essi gets dragged off by another acquaintance, Priscilla following, and then it's just Jaskier and Valdo.

"Heard you've had a rough go of it, lately," Valdo says as they stand shoulder to shoulder, staring out across the room. Jaskier doesn't know most of the people here; a few years ago that would have been exciting, now he wishes he'd stayed home, just a little. He lifts his shoulder in a one-sided shrug, sips from his wine glass. There's no point lying to Valdo.

"I'm...sorry for that, Julian, truly. You deserve someone who loves you, who makes you happy." His fingers tighten on the stem of the glass.

"And who's that, hm? You?" He can't help but say, words sharp like a knife. Valdo winces.

"Once upon a time, maybe," he sighs. It's quiet for a beat, "I still want the best for you, though." Jaskier lets out a gust of breath. He may not love the man anymore, may have never loved him, really, but--

"I know," he says, bumps their shoulders together gently, "thank you, Valdo."

"Anytime, Julian." It's soft and subdued, private and just for them. "Come find me before the countdown, yeah? For...old time's sake." It sounds like a resounding bad idea, but...

"I'll think about it," Jaskier says softly.

Valdo makes a satisfied noise and bumps their shoulders together again, gently, before he's stepping away, "Well, better make the rounds. See you in a bit, maybe," and then he's gone too, leaving Jaskier standing at the edge of the party.

He stays there only a moment. It's...a lot. The press of bodies, people chatting, the low thrum of music. This kind of thing used to be his scene, where he thrived. Now he just...he just wants Geralt and that hurts, Geralt wanted him gone, said "if life could give me one blessing" and well. Jaskier's trying, he really is it's just...hard.

He slips out the back door and onto the terrace off the back of the house. It's just for some air, he tells himself, he's not...not running away. He just needs a minute to breathe.

From here he can see the street through the cute little metal gate, the pass of cars and the occasional pedestrian. It's a rich side of town, one he rarely visits any longer. He doesn't even know the host, a friend of Priscilla's, someone she works with. He feels out of place. This is a far cry from the dingy diners, the 24-hour gas stations he's used to frequenting at this point. Or well. Had frequented, he guesses. He hasn't been much of anywhere since...before.

He leans against the little railing and tugs out his phone to check the time and then just...stares. He hadn't been able to bring himself to change his lock screen yet, a photo of the two of them, squeezed into a booth at some little coffee shop whose name he can't remember. Jaskier's smiling, bright and electric and Geralt's...not, but his eyes are crinkled at the corners, just a little, and he looks...he looks...

His chest heaves a nearly sobbing breath as he lets the screen go dark. He's maybe had a few too many drinks, but he's not going to cry about it, about him. It doesn't matter how happy he looks in the photos on Jaskier's phone. Geralt doesn't want anything to do with him, not anymore.

He's still wallowing in self-pity when his phone rings, vibrating intensely in his hand. No caller ID pops up, but Jaskier answers anyway. It's just as likely to be Essi calling from someone else's phone because hers has died as it is to be Geralt calling from a new burner phone. Except--

"Jaskier?"

His voice is rough and beautiful and tight with pain and Jaskier's heart stutters. His throat works, but no sound comes out.

"Jaskier, please, I--"

"Geralt," he forces out, his own voice hoarse. "Geralt, what--"

"Please," he continues, steamrolling right over Jaskier's quiet protest, "I need you to know I...fuck," it's a tiny noise of pain. Jaskier's chest clenches, "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve any of it." His voice is faint.

"Geralt, where are you, what's wrong?"

"I'm...fine." It's not reassuring.

"Geralt, where are you," he's starting to panic, a little, "I'll call Yen, I'm sure she'll--"

Geralt laughs, sharp and sardonic, a noise that cuts off quickly on a wheeze. "Yen's the last person I'd call, Jask." The diminutive does something painful to him. He can feel the tears slipping down his cheeks as he rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand, frustrated.

"Still. Where are you?"

"Do you remember that diner on third street?" Geralt asks, voice a little hazy, a little too soft as Jaskier pushes back through the house. He needs to find Essi or Pricilla, someone who can drive him--"the one where...ah...where you order the--the milkshakes?"

"I do," he says. He can't find his friends, but he catches Valdo's eye across the room and something in his expression must be especially concerning because Valdo's already bowing out of the conversation and making his way over.

"I'm...I left Roach there," he says just as Valdo approaches, mouths "what's wrong" at him.

"Okay, and where are you?" Jaskier asks, holding a single finger up to Valdo who nods.

"I--" a harsh, painful breath, "--was checking out the warehouse two streets over. Bruxa nest."

"Okay. Okay, just--Valdo, do you have your car?" Valdo blinks at him, a little wide-eyed. Geralt makes a strangled noise on the other end of the line.

"Jaskier, you've had too much to drive," he says, which means he does.

Jaskier makes an ungodly sound at the same time Geralt asks "Jask, where are you?"

"Will you drive me, then?" Valdo's had...maybe half a glass all night--he's still carrying around the rum and coke he had when they'd talked earlier, untouched.

Valdo gives him a hard look, and Jaskier thinks maybe he won't before, "Yeah. Let me grab my coat, I'll meet you out front in a minute."

"Thank you, Val," he says, nearly choking on the wave of emotion that hits him, the gratitude he feels for this man he used to love. "Geralt, we'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

"Mm," the mumbled little response over the line isn't reassuring.

"How close to the warehouse are you still, love?" The endearment slips out without a thought, and Geralt sucks in a sharp breath. Jaskier winces hard.

"'M...down the street." He's quiet for a long moment where Jaskier worries he's passed out on him. "Sorry to ruin your night out."

"Geralt, you're not ruining anything for me." He shifts from foot to foot on the stoop out front, waiting for Valdo to emerge. "How bad is it?" Geralt's silent for too long. "Geralt?"

"Uh," Jaskier can tell from the tone he's making a face, "few busted ribs. I'm..." a soft sigh, "losing a lot of blood." His voice is faint, still.

"How much is a lot, Geralt?" Valdo steps out the door and ushers Jaskier over to his car.

"Where are we going?" he asks as he slips into the driver's seat, Jaskier already fumbling for his seatbelt.

"It's...I may not..."

"Geralt."

"It's not your fault, Jask." A feeling like ice washes through him.

"Are you out of swallow or what?" he asks, trying not to snap at him. Valdo's sitting patiently while he waits for directions, only the tapping of his fingers on the steering wheel giving away his nerves.

"It's...I didn't bring it." Jaskier makes another ugly noise.

"The diner on third street," he tells Valdo who nods and shifts the car into gear, backing up. "it is in your car, yes?" he asks Geralt.

"...Yeah," he breathes. Jaskier just listens to the slow rasp of Geralt's breathing, eyes closed. He doesn't ask why Geralt didn't bring any with him, doesn't want to hear the answer, probably. "It's not your fault," Geralt repeats softly, and Jaskier can't help the little hiccuping sob, even as he presses a fist to his mouth to stifle it. Valdo stares out of the corner of his eye but doesn't say anything, which he's thankful for.

"If you die, I'll never forgive you, witcher." Geralt gives a huff over the phone, something like a laugh. "Don't hang up, okay?"

"Okay," he says. They lapse into silence, Jaskier occasionally giving updates on where they're at in relation to the diner, Geralt making vague noises of acknowledgment. When they hit the parking lot of the diner, Jaskier's out the door before Valdo's even parked. Roach is a few stalls away and Jaskier jogs over, fumbling his spare key Geralt hadn't taken back out of his pocket and unlocking it diving into the passenger seat, phone still pressed to his ear.

"I'm with Roach, Geralt, we're maybe five minutes away, okay?" Geralt doesn't respond, and something tightens in Jaskier's chest. With shaking fingers he digs through the floorboard and finds the little pouch of potions tucked in next to the steel sword and his sharpening kit in the foot of the passenger seat. He pulls the whole little bag out and locks the car door before slamming it closed behind him, a little too hard.

He slides back into the passenger seat of Valdo's car a few moments later, the pouch in his lap.

"Where to?"

"Try Fletcher. He's down by the warehouses." Valdo nods and backs out of the stall again. "Geralt?"

There's a rough noise over the line, but no indication Geralt's conscious. Fuck.

They turn onto Fletcher and Valdo drives slowly. It's dark and most people are either at home or at New Year’s parties, not hanging around the industrial district, so it's easy to spot the figure slumped over against a brick wall, pale hair hiding his face.

"Valdo--" he starts, but he's already seen him, and he hits the breaks. Jaskier's out of the car like a shot, potion bag tucked under his arm. He nearly trips over the sidewalk, barely catching himself at the last moment as he stumbles to a stop, hitting his knees beside Geralt hard.

"Geralt, love," he breathes, but it doesn't matter that his heart is pouring out his mouth--Geralt's out cold, phone cradled in his lap but not hung up, just like Jaskier asked. "Fuck."

He can see he's torn up--there's blood all over his armor and pooling on the sidewalk beneath him. He's got a hand pressed loosely over his side and his breathing's shallow. Jaskier fumbles a bottle of swallow out of the pouch and uncorks it.

"Please don't be too late," he whispers, careful fingers tipping Geralt's head up and coaxing his jaw open so he can pour the contents down his throat. Geralt sputters, but swallows, throat working, and Jaskier sits nearly in his lap, face cradled in his hands and fingers brushing his pulse point. Slowly, Jaskier watches as the wound on his side clots and knits together, feels the way his pulse, slow as always, strengthens ever so slightly, and Jaskier sighs, tips forward to press his forehead to Geralt's bloody shoulder as the adrenaline leaves him all at once. He'll be fine.

He sits there for a long moment, just letting the panic fizzle out. The footsteps behind him tell him Valdo's finally parked the car.

"Is he--"

"He'll be fine," Jaskier says, pulling back to stare at Geralt's prone form. His breathing is strengthening, the ribs beginning to knit back together now that the source of the blood loss has been dealt with. "Thank you, Val."

"Should we, uh, move him or something?" Valdo asks, the same moment Geralt groans and blinks open his eyes. "Oh, I'll...um. I'll wait in the car if...if you need me." He ducks his head and retreats to where he parked on the sidewalk a few paces away, giving them some privacy.

"You're here." Geralt's voice, usually gravel rough, is somehow deeper, more jagged, with the remnants of the potion.

"Did you think I wouldn't be?" Jaskier asks. He realizes he's still kneeling over Geralt, palms cupping his jaw and throat. Geralt's eyes flutter closed again, tired.

"I don't deserve it."

Jaskier's chest aches, sharp and painful. "Maybe not," he whispers, "but here I am." Geralt's breath stutters and he rotates out of Jaskier's grip to cough, a deep, rattling sound that makes Jaskier wince.

"I'm sorry I ruined your date," Geralt grinds out when his breathing settles, collapsing back against the wall again. Jaskier frowns.

"Why would I--?"

Geralt doesn't let him finish, "He looks...good. For you. I'm. I hope he makes you happy, Jask." Geralt's expression is guarded and it's...that's not...

"Geralt," Jaskier says slowly, "That's Valdo Marx. We're not dating. You did not interrupt a date. I was at a party."

"You're not...?" he starts, brows pinched, and Jaskier wants to hit something.

"Geralt. I'm--I'm not dating anyone. I. I can't." No one could ever make me as happy as you, he thinks but doesn't say.

Geralt makes a soft, unhappy sound, "Why?" At some point, his hands have landed on Jaskier's waist. Now he rubs gentle thumbs against the swell of Jaskier's hip bones in a movement that is more distracting than it has any right to be.

"Because I love you, you dolt," Jaskier chokes out, unable to hold down the swell of emotion at the confusion on Geralt's face, "and I know you said you didn't want to see me again and I--"

"Jask," Geralt stops him, a hand rising to cup his cheek, "you shouldn't."

"I know. I know, and I do anyway and I. I'm sorry, but--"

"I shouldn't have pushed you away," Geralt says, eyes bright with something Jaskier can't name. There's a thundering sound of cheers, distant this deep into the industrial part of the city. Midnight. New Years. "I love you, Jask, I'm sorry."

He tips forward to kiss him, and Geralt surges up to meet him, hands tangling in his hair. It's like breathing fresh air for the first time in years, like the first trip out of the city looking for a forktail, like every time Jaskier's patched him up, every time they've gotten coffee together at three am, every time Geralt's bought him a meal at a diner after midnight. The kiss breaks, but they don't move away, foreheads pressed together.

"I'm sorry," Geralt repeats, eyes closed.

"So am I," Jaskier whispers back, "I've been a right bastard myself, on occasion.” Geralt huffs a laugh, something soft and intimate. Jaskier cards his fingers through his hair, gentle.

"Stay with me?" He asks, and that's--

"Yeah," Jaskier says, presses another kiss to his mouth, slow and sweet, "let me go tell Valdo I'm walking you to your car and he can go. Then you can take me home and we'll crash at my place, okay?"

"Okay," Geralt breathes, reluctantly letting go so Jaskier can stand. He stares at him a moment, bloody and bruised and so very, very beautiful, and then he's pulling himself away, back to Valdo and his car.

"He's okay?" Valdo asks, rolling his window down when Jaskier gets close.

"Yeah, I'm--"

"Are you okay?" he continues, gaze intense and--

"Yeah," he sighs, "yeah, we're okay. I'm. He makes me happy, Val." Valdo's expression softens, something relieved in his eyes.

"Good. I'm glad, Julian. Does he need a ride back to his car?" Jaskier turns to follow Valdo's gaze, sees how Geralt fidgets at the edge of the sidewalk, impatient.

"No. We'll walk back. Thanks for the ride. I'm. Really very thankful."

"I know." His smile is radiant. "Don't be a stranger, Julian." Jaskier makes a face, which only makes Valdo smile wider. "See you around."

The car pulls away when Jaskier steps back onto the sidewalk. Geralt winds his arms around Jaskier's waist when he gets close enough, pulls him into another slow, thorough kiss that sets his nerves alight. They break reluctantly, Jaskier's hand on Geralt's face.

"Come on, love, let’s get you home."

It's been weeks since Jaskier's been this close to Geralt, weeks since they talked, since they touched.

"You're here," Geralt rumbles, a quiet sound, "I'm already home." And that's--Jaskier has to clear his throat not to cry.

"Happy New Year, Geralt." Geralt’s expression is soft, fond as they start the walk back to Roach. He slips his hand into Jaskier's, threads their fingers together and brings the back of his hand to his lips in a gentle kiss.

"Yes," he says, "it is."

[thephantomessoftheopera]

Notes on Gaston Leroux’s “The Phantom of the Opera” - Chapter 14: “A Masterstroke by the Lover of Trapdoors”

<< Previous chapter

Raoul and Christine are still running away from the shadow on the rooftop when they encounter the Persian, who tells them to run in the opposite direction. Raoul makes another try at getting Christine to run away with him on the spot, but once again, she refuses and repeats that Raoul will probably need to make her go against her will if he wants to elope with her (what is he supposed to do though? Drag a screaming and kicking Christine through the opera house? Drug her or knock her unconscious and roll her up in a carpet?).

She tries to convince him that Erik has not overheard their conversation on the rooftop because he is working on „Don Juan Triumphant“, but doesn’t seem to quite believe it herself. When Raoul bitterly says how brave she was to play his fiancée, Christine reveals that she had actually told Erik all about the engagement game she was playing with Raoul, and that he was willing to tolerate it under the assumption that Raoul would be leaving for the North Pole soon.

It is also obvious that despite the kiss Christine has given him in the preceding chapter, Raoul is still unsure of her feelings, which might also be due to her speaking of it like a one-time thing:

“Are people unhappy when they’re in love?”  “Yes, when they’re in love and aren’t sure of being loved.” “Are you saying that for Erik?” “For Erik and for myself”, answered Raoul, shaking his head with a thoughtful, forlorn expression.”

To a certain degree, Christine might be asking that first question for herself, too, since she is obviously unhappy and has shown signs of crying before. Keep in mind that this is the last interaction we see between Raoul and Christine before her abduction. Raoul is still uncertain at this point if Christine actually loves him, which means that he is soon going to risk his life for a girl whose feelings remain a mystery to him. We’ve got to give him some credit for that…

In her conversation with Raoul, Christine calls Erik a “man of heaven and earth” - not a ghost, monster or demon. She has seen his face, and even though she feels horror, she apparently also sees him as a man here. Raoul is once again taken aback by how Christine talks about Erik, making him question her determination to leave. She also tells him that no matter where she calls, Erik will always hear her. This is certainly due to the acoustics of the building and its secret passageways, since Erik apparently used similar techniques in the palace he built in Persia. On a deeper level, this is a symbol of how strongly they are still bound together, and seems to extend into the supernatural.

We also learn that Erik has promised Christine to stay away from her dressing room and her bedroom in his house, and that she trusts what he says. It is quite poignant to see how far Erik and Christine apparently trust each other, and how each of them is not fully deserving of the trust put into them even if they seem to be trying. In „Apollo‘s Lyre“, Christine also mentions how she instinctively trusted Erik.

Erik has given Christine a key to his house, which must be a pretty big thing for him as he puts his own safety into her hands with this. Christine shows Raoul the key but refuses to give it to him when he demands it because it “would be a betrayal” (apparently, she doesn‘t consider what happened on the rooftop a „betrayal“ and is also unwilling to betray Erik). But then she realises that she has lost Erik’s gold ring, probably while she gave Raoul the kiss on the rooftop - which is symbolic, of course. When Erik gave her the ring, he told her that she would be safe as long as she wore it - but if she parted with it, he would take revenge. She is greatly distressed, fearing what Erik might do to both of them - but even that is not enough to get her to run away. As she seems to have lost the ring on the rooftop, and Erik has it back in his possession two days later, saying that he had found it, it is likely that he directly picked it up after Christine and Raoul left the rooftop.

Raoul then goes home, cursing Erik and resolving to save Christine while he goes to bed. In the darkness, he thinks he sees Erik’s glowing eyes watching him from the balcony, and turns on the light to see if the eyes disappear. He takes his pistol and fires a shot at Erik’s eyes, which wakes the entire household including Philippe. Philippe thinks Raoul, who is rambling incoherently, has gone completely mad and asks him who this „Erik“ is that Raoul seems to be so obsessed with. Raoul states:

“He’s my rival!”

That statement is significant because it shows that Raoul views Erik primarily as a romantic threat to himself - not just as a threat to Christine’s safety or a general nuisance that he needs to get rid of, but as a serious contender for Christine’s hand. Raoul considering him his rival also puts them on more or less equal footing. Raoul also starts to worry that he should not have been so rash because if it really was Erik, Christine might not forgive Raoul for hurting him after all.

From Raoul’s description of his glowing eyes and the fact that there really is blood on the balcony and the drainpipe, we can conclude that it was indeed Erik standing there, and that he has been wounded by Raoul’s shot to a significant degree, considering there was enough blood to have seeped through his clothing and dripped onto the balcony in a very short time. The explanation of Raoul having shot at a cat doesn’t sound very likely, given that cats wouldn’t usually slide down drainpipes to get off a balcony.

Raoul and Philippe go on to quarrel over Raoul’s plan to elope with Christine. Philippe will not tolerate Raoul marrying a girl from the opera, but Raoul seems to be determined to go through with his plan anyway and defy Philippe’s wishes.

The next morning, there is an article in the newspaper “L’Époque” revealing that Raoul and Christine are engaged and about to marry. It is somewhat strange though because we never see Raoul and Christine actually getting engaged in a serious fashion. There’s the “engagement game” of course, but it cannot be considered the same as a serious marriage proposal. In addition to that, the last time we saw Raoul and Christine discussing their elopement, there were distinctly no plans of marriage included, as Raoul promised to take Christine away and then leave her to herself, as she has decided *not* to marry. It is not clear when that plan changed, or if Christine is even aware that his plans have changed. Philippe is very much embarrassed by Raoul’s behaviour, and swears that he will stop Raoul if he still plans to go through with his plans of elopement with Christine. Raoul leaves without saying anything more to Philippe, and spends the day making preparations for the elopement until 9 pm.

There is a curious detail that Leroux draws attention to, but I’m unsure about why he mentions it at all: Raoul’s carriage is driven by a coachman “whose face was largely hidden by the long scarf he wore” (They might have picked up on this in the 2004 movie). It cannot be Erik here though, as he now appears on scene to observe the carriage while the coachman is still sitting on it. In this scene, Erik is wearing the attire we have come to associate with him because of the musical mostly - the black cloak and felt hat.

During that night’s performance of Faust, Christine appears in the role of Marguerite again, but this time, the rumours about her engagement from the morning paper cause the audience to react with hostility to her since they see her as a social climber. This gives her (and us) an idea of how Parisian society would have reacted to her if she had ever become the Viscountess (or Countess, if Philippe is dead) de Chagny (and it would most likely have been far worse if she had married the man suspected of having killed his brother over her in public). Christine is quickly losing confidence when she suddenly sees Carlotta appear in one of the boxes, and her defiant nature is awakened. Not wishing to appear weak and succumb before her enemy, she regains her confidence and sings with all her soul again.

In the final scene of „Faust“, Faust and Mephisto come to rescue an insane Marguerite from her prison cell, but even though she and Faust confess their love for each other, she refuses to escape and asks the angels to take her soul to heaven instead (you can watch it here, for example: https://youtu.be/i2C4ezHUF1I).

Final scene from „Faust“ performance at the Metropolitan Opera (image from bruzanemediabase.com)

When Christine pleads with the angels in the final prison scene, Leroux makes use of the ambiguity of the „angel“. Raoul stands up from where he has been sitting in the amphitheater (not the de Chagny box where Philippe is sitting), but the Angel of Music is quicker: the entire stage is plunged into darkness, and when the lights return, Christine is gone. A great commotion ensues, with everybody trying to explain where Christine could be, but her co-star Carolus Fonta then announces publicly that she has disappeared, and that no one knows what has really happened.

Erik’s action here is both daring and desperate. From his perspective, he needs to act now before Christine will be out of his reach forever. He has overheard the escape plan, and I guess he also saw the newspaper speculating about her impending marriage, and now sees his hand forced before it’s too late for him. The chapter‘s title calling it a „masterstroke“ („coup de maître“) highlights the extraordinary skill and boldness that were necessary to stage his abduction of Christine in the fashion that he chose. The „lover of trapdoors“ is a nickname that was given to him in Persia, as we will later learn from the Persian.

Image from wikipedia

Next chapter >>

[rpf-bat]

To Join The Black Parade

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 11. Prompt: “Death Parade”.

You receive an unexpected phone call, from your old friend Gerard. He asks you if you’d like to play a role, in the upcoming music video, for ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’. But, when he sees you on set, something comes over him, that neither of you ever expected. 

You sat in the studio, in front of a blank canvas. You glanced up at the diploma, hanging in on the wall, in the corner. It was proof that you had graduated from SVA, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts. But, despite being certifiably good at art (on paper), you still felt like an impostor, on days like this, when you had no inspiration at all. 

Your brush hovered over the empty white space, when, suddenly, you were interrupted, by the sound of the phone ringing. As soon as you saw who was calling, your expression brightened. 

“Hi, Y/N,” greeted the familiar voice of Gerard Way. Simply hearing your old friend speak, was enough to make your spirits, instantly lift. 

“Hi, Gee,” you smiled, moving the phone closer to your ear. “How have you been?”

Even though you talked on the phone all the time, you hadn’t seen him in person, since last summer. He had briefly returned to New Jersey, to play a Warped Tour gig. You’d hung out with him afterwards, backstage. It had been so fun - and yet, so fleeting. 

“I’ve been good,” Gerard replied jovially. “I’m sorry for calling you so early, though.” 

“It’s not early,” you chuckled. “It’s like, eleven o’clock.”

“Well, here, it’s only eight,” Gerard reminded you. 

The East Coast was no longer his home base. He had moved to Los Angeles, a few years ago, when his band started to take off. This put him in the Pacific time zone, three hours behind you. 

“How’s California treating you?” you asked. “Still staying in that weird haunted house?”

“Nah, we’re done recording the album now,” Gerard updated you. “We’re actually getting ready to film the music video, that’s gonna go with the lead single.”

“Oh, cool!” you said, interested. “What’s the single’s title?”

“It’s called ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’,” Gerard revealed cryptically. 

“What’s the Black Parade?” you asked curiously. 

“I have this concept for the video - well, for the whole album, really,” Gerard explained. “This guy is like, dying of cancer, and Death comes for him, in the form of his favorite childhood memory.” 

“The memory is….a parade?” you guessed.

“That’s right!”, Gerard confirmed. “I kind of based it off, like, when my dad would take me and Mikey into the city, at Thanksgiving time, to see the Macy’s parade.” 

“Oh, of course,” you nodded. As a fellow New Jersey native, only a ferry-ride away from the Big Apple, you had grown up going to the parade every autumn, too. 

“So, this whole, like, procession of marchers, is gonna welcome The Patient into the afterlife,” Gerard went on. 

“That sounds amazing,” you said honestly. “I can’t wait to see the video, when it’s finished.”

“That’s actually what I was calling you about,” Gerard confessed slyly. “We’re gonna have a lot of extras in this video shoot. Like I said, a whole parade of people. I was wondering, if you might want to be in it?”

“You want me to be in the music video?”, you repeated, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Gerard grinned. “I just thought, it would be really nice, to see you again, and have you be a part of this whole art project with me.”

Art project. That was one way to describe it. Gerard was a big Hollywood star now, with fans all over the globe. But, he still talked about the album his band was working on, in the same way, that he used to talk to you about the comics he wanted to write. Deep down, he was still the same storyteller that you used to see in class every day.

“Gerard, I would love to,” you accepted the offer, immediately. “I’ve missed you. It’s going to be so great, to hang out again.” 

“I can’t wait,” Gerard said happily. “Don’t even worry about the airfare, I can get the label to fly you out.” 

“Thank you,” you said giddily. You couldn’t wait to see your old friend again.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The flight to Los Angeles was long, but uneventful, and the day of the video shoot, arrived before you knew it. You gasped, when you walked in, and saw the set. There was a huge parade float, surrounded by a desolate, gray landscape. You wondered how long it had taken the set designers to put it together. You felt nervous, as you watched the other extras milling about, most of them already in costume. 

They’re real actors, you thought anxiously. I’m just some random person. 

Your nerves eased, as soon as you heard a voice behind you. 

“Y/N, you made it!” Gerard said delightedly. You turned to face him. 

“Whoa!” you gasped. “Your hair!” 

“I know, it’s a big change,” Gerard laughed, running his hand through his short-cropped, bleach-blonde locks. Last time you had seen him, his hair had been dark, and down to his shoulders. 

“What do you think?” he asked, seemingly a little self-conscious. 

“It’s very different,” you said honestly, “But, I like it. A new look, to signify a new era!” 

“Exactly,” Gerard nodded. “See, I knew you would get it….I gotta tell the guys you’re here. They’re gonna be psyched, to see you again.” 

“I’m psyched to see Mikey, and Frankie, and Toro again, too,” you grinned. They were all old friends of yours. 

“Oh, but first, I gotta introduce you to the director,” Gerard remembered. “His name’s Samuel Bayer. He’s amazing - he’s the same guy that directed the music video for ‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’, back in the day.”

“No way!” you gasped. ‘Bullet’ was your favorite Smashing Pumpkins song. 

“I know, right?” Gerard grinned. “And just last year, he did some really cool videos with Green Day, like ‘American Idiot’. I’m so happy that we were able to get him to work with us, on this video. I think it’s going to be amazing.” 

“You’re such a flatterer, Gerard,” said a dark-haired man, walking over to you. “Hi, I’m Samuel.” 

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself, shaking the director’s hand. 

“I heard you’re an SVA grad, too, right?” Samuel smiled.

“Yeah, Gerard and I both graduated in ‘99,” you nodded. “You went, there, too?”

“Yeah, I was in the class of ‘87,” Samuel explained. 

“Wow...small world.” 

“For sure,” Samuel laughed. “Anyway, Y/N, are you ready to get changed into your costume?”

“What am I going to wear?” you wondered. 

“Oh, you’re going to love it,” Gerard gushed. “We had Colleen Atwood design all the costumes for us. She’s incredible.”

“She’s the same lady, who designed the costumes for Edward Scissorhands,” Samuel added informatively.

“Whoa,” you gaped. This really was an all-star film crew. Did you really belong here? 

“Here’s your outfit,” Samuel smiled, handing you in the garment bag. “Go ahead and get changed, we’ll meet you back here in five.” 

“O-okay,” you gulped, suddenly unsure, if you could pull the role off - no matter how small it was. 

“Don’t worry,” Gerard assured you. “I know you better than anyone, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll do great.” 

“Thanks,” you said softly, calmed by his words. 

“I have to go fake-sing for the camera,” Gerard chuckled. “I’ll see you soon.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You took the garment bag into the bathroom, unzipping it, to reveal the costume inside. 

The jacket, you noticed, was black, with a marching band style collar - pretty similar to what Gerard was wearing, when you walked in. The only difference was that yours was sleeveless. Instead of pants, your jacket was paired with a black skirt. 

You hesitantly changed into the outfit. You flushed, when you looked at yourself in the mirror. The skirt was short - almost too short. 

You didn’t wear things like this very often. You constantly got paint on your clothes, so you never wanted to wear anything too fancy. It would just get ruined. Most of the time, you could be found in oversized sweaters, and ratty jeans. 

I can’t refuse to wear it, though, you told yourself. Even if it feels kind of uncomfortable….Gerard spent a lot of time and money to bring me out here. The least I can do, is play my role, without complaining. 

You walked back onto the set, your legs feeling cold and exposed. Gerard and the band had just wrapped a scene on the float, miming playing their instruments. 

“Cut!” Samuel called. “Okay, I think that was a good take!” 

Done with his part, Gerard strolled back over to you.

“.....Wow,” he gaped when he laid eyes on you, his eyes widening. 

“Wow, what?” you blinked, feeling self-conscious. 

“Wow, you look amazing,” Gerard said, blushing. “I...I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear something like this before.” 

“Oh, you think it suits me?” you asked hesitantly. You hadn’t expected this reaction. 

“Absolutely,” Gerard complimented. “Have you been...working out?”

“Oh, you mean, my legs?” you realized, blushing. “Yeah, I’ve been jogging a lot…” 

He stared at your uncovered thighs, making your cheeks turn hot. 

“Ah, there’s my Fear!” Samuel smiled, walking over to you. 

“Fear?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yes, you’ll be playing the role of Fear,” Samuel explained, “and this young lady here, will be playing Regret.”

He indicated a petite actress, whose costume was identical to yours. “Regret” gave you a friendly wave. 

“As soon as you’re done in the makeup chair, you ladies can do your scene with Lukas,” Samuel directed. 

“Who’s Lukas?” you asked. 

“Lukas Haas is playing The Patient,” Gerard explained. “He’s a great actor.”

“Oh, our main character,” you nodded. “Ok, I guess I better head over there!”

You were surprised, how Gerard’s eyes seemed to follow you, as you walked away. It was almost as if he didn’t want you to leave his side. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“Ok, we’re going to start moving the parade float forward!” Samuel announced. “Processioners, I need you to start walking forward, beside it, okay?” 

You stood in line, and at his signal, you and the rest of the ‘parade’ began to march forward, towards the camera. You tried not to glance up too obviously at Gerard, who was standing on top of the float, beside you. The guys were up there with him, in matching marching band jackets. You had to admit, it was a striking look.

Lukas stumbled towards the front of the parade, wearing his hospital gown and slippers. He looked confused, and sad - a befitting expression, for a character, who was supposed to be newly deceased. 

“Ok, cut!” Samuel called out. “Gerard, you’re going to lean over the side of the float, and put the medal on Lukas, okay?”

“Ok,” Gerard nodded, dangling a military-ish cross on a chain. “Like this?” 

“Perfect,” Samuel praised. “Now, I need my Fear and Regret, to come stand on either side of Lukas, okay?”

“R-Right,” you stammered, moving to the spot on Lukas’ right that Samuel was pointing at. 

“Now, Fear and Regret are going to kiss The Patient on the cheek,” Samuel explained. 

“They’re what?” Gerard frowned, his expression turning suddenly sour. 

“It’s in the script,” Samuel reminded him. 

“Just on the cheek?” you clarified. 

“Yeah,” Regret confirmed. “You do one, and I’ll lean in, and do the other, at the same time.”

“Oh, okay,” you shrugged. “I can do that.” 

Sure, it felt a little awkward, since you’d just met Lukas twenty minutes ago. But, at least it wasn’t on the mouth, or anything. 

Samuel signaled for the camera man to start filming again, and you leaned over, in sync with Regret, and planted a peck on the actor’s face.

“Cut!” Samuel shouted. “Ladies, I’m sorry, I need you to do that again.”

“Why?!” Gerard demanded. “I thought that take was fine.”

“Because you were making a face in the background,” Samuel groaned.

“N-No I wasn’t!” Gerard denied, blushing. 

“You were,” Samuel insisted. “You’re supposed to have a neutral expression, and be looking at the camera. But, you were looking down at them instead.” 

“You were pouting, dude,” Frank teased. “Come on, let’s try it again.” 

You repeated the take, leaning over, and kissing Lukas’ cheek again. 

“Cut!” Samuel called again, looking frustrated. “Gerard, the rest of the band was looking at the camera just fine. You’re still staring downwards, with that surly expression.”

“I’m not surly,” Geraed argued. “I was making a totally normal face.”

“No, he’s right,” Mikey shook his head. “You weren’t looking, where you were supposed to look at all.” 

“Let’s give it one more try,” Gerard sighed. “I promise, I’ll get it right this time.” 

I hope so, you thought with a frown. How many times, am I going to have to put my lips on this guy’s face today?

“You know what,” Samuel shrugged, “why don’t we just take a break for lunch, and try again in thirty?”

This was fine with you - you were already bored, with the repetition. You wished you knew what was throwing Gerard off. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You found Gerard by the craft services table, listlessly eating a handful of Cheetos.

“Are you okay?” you asked him softly, as you filled your own plate with snacks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gerard insisted. “Don’t worry about me.”

“What is it that you’re having trouble with?” you wondered. “I mean, all you’re doing in that scene, is standing still up there, right?”

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be this hard,” Gerard frowned. “I don’t know….something about watching you plant one on Lukas, is just getting on my nerves.” 

“Why’s that?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I….I don’t know,” Gerard blushed. “I just don’t want you touching him, for some reason.” 

“You’re the one, who called me, and asked me to play this specific role,” you reminded him. 

“I know I did,” Gerard acknowledged. “I just….I didn’t think it would bother me this much.”

“Why does it bother you?” you asked. “Like, what is it that goes through your head, when you see me do that?” 

“I guess I feel…..jealous,” Gerard admitted shyly, dropping his voice, so only you would hear. 

“.....Jealous?” you repeated, heart pounding. What was he saying?

Gerard’s whole face turned red, and he stared downwards, suddenly very interested in his shoes.

“....Gee,” you whispered, touching his arm. “Look at me...are you telling me, that you wish, I was kissing your cheek, instead?” 

You two had been friends for almost a decade now, but he had never made a move on you, or given you any indication that he desired anything more, than a platonic relationship. But….the truth was, you’d always found him incredibly handsome.

Gerard’s hazel eyes glanced up, hesitantly meeting yours. 

“As soon as I saw you walk out here, in that skirt,” Gerard confessed, his voice soft and husky, “I wanted to kiss you, on far more, than just your cheeks.” 

“....You want to kiss me on the mouth?” you realized, your face and body going suddenly so hot.

“God help me, I do,” Gerard breathed. 

“.....Do it,” you said breathlessly. Secretly, you’d wanted this, for years. 

“But, there’s people all around us!” Gerard said shyly. 

You looked up, and saw that he was right. Actors and actresses were starting to form a line around the table, eager to grab food to snack on. 

“.....Come with me,” you said impulsively, and dragged him by the arm, into the powder room, where you’d gotten changed earlier. 

“Y-Y/N, what are you doing?” Gerard stammered. “This is the girls’ room…..I’m not supposed to be in here….I don’t want to get caught….” 

“Then be real quiet, then,” you shushed him, and pulled him in for a searing kiss. 

His shyness seemed to melt away, as his lips crashed into yours. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tighter, as the kiss deepened. 

“....Gee!” you gasped, coming up for air. You never saw this coming from him. 

“Y/N, I want to make you mine,” Gerard panted, eager to taste your lips again. “Mine, and mine alone.” 

You kissed him again. Your hands twisted into his newly short hair. You’d wanted this forever, but you never expected it to actually happen. He tasted so sweet, and his touch was so startlingly possessive. 

“Honey,” you purred, grabbing him by his jacket collar, “I’m already yours.”

[itswildwinters]

Ask for writers

Thank you @theisolatedlily and @soldouthaz for tagging me, I really appreciate it! This lovely tag was created by @soldouthaz, which I think is brilliant to get to know other writers!! I love it, so thank you Sarah!

This is quite long, but I still hope it’s entertaining!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: I’ve always wanted to write. I know that I only began publishing this year (January 2020) but years back, I always would open up a blank document and just... write. Lack of confidence and language barriers (I wanted to write in English, but it isn’t my first language and I only became fluent three years ago) have made it so that I would never finish a story. I think we all had our wattpad moment but even on there I would never really publish because the platform just wasn’t right. But then I discovered ao3, where I’d read fics and also improve my English. Then I found out about fests, and I decided to participate in one last year (2019 BLFF) and my first fic then came out! 

And ever since, I’ve been able to write and finish what I start. It’s as if the lock that had been put to block my creativity had been destroyed; posting my first completed fic has acted as a turning point. I was extremely nervous when I first posted, still am, but now I have this need to write and I love sharing what I write and ever since I became a writer, my life’s been a lot better!

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?: I switch between Louis’ POV, or Harry’s POV depending on the story; I tend to sprinkle a bit of myself in the characters I write, but then again they’re also completely different from me! I’ve never based a character completely on myself, which I find quite boring (haha); sometime unconsciously, I’d write a character based on someone I knew. I think some examples on how my characters can look a bit like me, is Hamlet in a sea of mist which has gotten his clear-headedness from me; or in my Murder Mystery fic, the way I describe Louis’ fear is heavily based on how I feel whenever I’m faced with something that makes me uncomfortable.

3. where do you often find inspiration?: art (paintings, music), books, quotes, poems and movies!

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: having so much free time on my hands has definitely helped; I would seek refuge within my stories, to spice up quarantine!

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? I love love love playing classical music (Chopin, Saint-Saens, Debussy, Yiruma, Einaudi, Faulkner, Schumann, Tchaikovsky, Mozart to name a few) while writing. I can’t write when it’s anything else. But I can also write when there’s nothing; hearing the rhythmic clicking sound of the keyboard as I press over its keys can be relaxing to me.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: hm in my writing I guess I tend to write very long sentences, and also I still do grammar mistakes. I hope to work on those points. I also find the way I space my fics very annoying (which is why I’ve begun making outlines!).

7. describe your ideal writing setup: in a couch or a bed with several pillows piled up behind my back, classical music in my ears and a steaming cup of tea next to me.

8. favorite time of day to write?: I love writing when it’s very early, usually after I’ve woken up and freshened up. I don’t like writing when it’s too late because I’m not a night owl; rather an early bird. I especially love when I write and it’s still dark outside, then slowly dawn breaks in and the sky becomes tainted in warm hues of orange, yellow and sometimes even purple and pink.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: I love writing fantasy, horror, suspense, action, thrillers. Especially angst and hurt/comfort, as well as slow burn. I’d like in the future to explore sci-fi and magical realism!

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it? I haven’t suffered from writer block so far, which I’m glad!!

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? writing is the easiest, but outlining (as in, coming up with plot ideas) is quite difficult for me. Also dialogues can be a bit of a problem to me.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): I just make them up in my mind, and create them when they’re necessary to the story, giving them personality traits that will help the story develop.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word? it’s hard to choose cause I have several but favourite: petrichor and least favourite: big

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: I am proud of the way I describe, which allows me to really settle the story in its verse. I love describing, giving importance to the ordinary. Also feelings; I love describing them and exploring how I can translate them into words, so that the reader can feel them. But I have to work on my dialogues methinks.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?: those who from the Pit of Hell, roam to seek their prey on earth. I’ve always wanted to begin writing thrillers/Murder mystery fics and with that one I think I managed to? I had read an article on forensic medicine back in the 19th century and it sparked this fic’s plot!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: Arial, 11pt, single spaced

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: I don’t know if this can be considered as a typo but I tend to repeat, within a paragraph, A LOT my character’s name instead of using pronouns. This is because I’m afraid of confusion when another character arrives in the scene.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: I don’t know if I understood the question properly, but yes? When I use Louis or Harry in my fics, they’re completely different from real-Louis or real-Harry; they’re my characters, they only have the same names, but their personality reflects in nothing real-life Harry and Louis. 

I think to answer this better: I do separate fic writing from fandom, but I still think that fanfics are important to a fandom; I haven’t heard of a fandom without fanfics! Fanfics spice up fandoms, I reckon, they’re important to bring people together.

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: Angst is my favourite thing to write, as well as fear. And I struggle with writing humour, I’m not a funny person to be honest

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: I always hope they like my writing and the plot, also the way I portray my characters. I want my readers to feel the writing, and the story in general. I just want my readers to truly enjoy what they read from me <3

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: I was told to always write very specifically and to fit my writing into a mould — don’t write ‘he’s’ but ‘he is’, or write shorter sentences, or stop describing so much. But in the end, there isn’t one way of writing — write the way you want.

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?: only one? ahhh this is hard! But I’d love to see those who from the Pit of Hell, roam to seek their prey on earth be turned into a movie. There are also a couple of wips that I could see on-screen but I’ll stick to that!

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. Haven’t explored anachronies (analepsis/prolepsis) at all, but I might soon!

24. how do you handle criticism?: really well!! As long as they’re constructive and not mean, I love hearing what people think. Criticism is the best way for me, a person whose first person is not English, to improve!

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?: DO IT!! Honestly, don’t tell yourself, ‘I’m not good enough’. Just do it. Open a blank document and write your heart away, even if it’s not a story; just begin it. Explore your writing style, then maybe try to mould it into a plot. Writing is not limited to a certain category of people; it’s not just for those who can write. Writing is for everyone, and like most things, one must begin before improving (practice makes perfect!!) <3

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: anything!!! Just the fact someone clicked on my story, read it, and took time to leave a comment — just that is enough to make my heart bursts with joy. I am so so grateful to every single person who’s ever read something from me.

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: The verse I’m talking about is still a wip, but the siren/mermaid one that I’m currently building! I’d love to live in it.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: Anything, really, my inbox is open to anyone and for everything! I love discussing books, movies and poetry as well as quotes, and maybe I wish people would come forth to ask me more about my fics or my wips, if they have any inquiries! Or I’d love to write drabbles! 

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: It has made my life so, so much better. Writing has stitched up a gaping hole in my chest. It’s permitted me to improve in English, has made me more confident and has allowed my creativity to flow. I just... I love writing so much. It has also allowed me to meet some incredible people on tumblr, which I’m very grateful for!!

30. why do you write?: for many reasons; to spice up my life, to help me develop my creativity, and because I love it. I’ve always wanted to be a writer.

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

The words echo around his head and collide with his temples like truncheon blows.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

I’m excited for all of them, but I’ll go with my third BLFF fic. It’s very angsty, post-war, ABO, exes to lovers. It tackles heavy topics, it’s such an emotional fic. I’m so so excited for her (she comes out in January).

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of: 

This is hard. But I’ll go with one from in a sea of mist cause the way Louis answers Harry... I love it:

“I feel like you want to kill me,” he pants out, using his right arm to hold himself up while his other hand comes up to rub at his burning cheek and nose, where Louis had hit him with the sole of his shoe.

“Before our date? No, never,” Louis blinks sweetly, chuckling and climbing up as Harry smiles to himself.

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:

best first lines are from the hope that warbles in my fluttering breast: There, against the window, was stuck millions of snowflakes, their see-through quality no more as they huddled together, pushed against hard surfaces by the merciless wind. 

best last lines are from in a sea of mist: It takes a while for Harry to go to sleep, elation pumping through his veins so fast that the previous tiredness he felt has flown out of the window. But when he finally focuses on Louis’ heavened out breathing, and when he breathes in Louis’ natural perfume that always acts as an ambrosia over him, he manages to close his eyes, and for the first time in a while, he dreams of a future that’s devoid of any darkness.

5a. link the last fic you read: currently reading sweet like honey by @falsegoodnight and Spoonful of Sugar by @zanniscaramouche and they’re absolutely amazing!

6a. link the last work you published: in a sea of mist

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): tomlinvelvet

8a. someone that inspires you: Louis <3 his music and just his personality overall leaves so much scope for the imagination. There are also so many writers (both non-fanfic writers and fanfic writers) that inspire me daily.

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: even the best laid plans and just a flicker in the dark both by @falsegoodnight as well as eyes off you by @soldouthaz ... these fics are just so amazing, everything about them is top tier

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @falsegoodnight @scrunchyharry @hadestyles @mercurial-madhouse @youreyesonlarry @raspberryoatss @jacaranda-bloom @soldouthaz @behisoneandonly @vintageumbroshirt @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @lougendarey @quelquesetoiles <3 no pressure ofc!

[xnchxntmxnt]

Hi Spencer!! Ahhh I hope you’ve reached 200 by the time you get this! It’s been so amazing watching you grow and your works have brought lots of comfiness into my life 🥰 thank you so much for creating and writing and making one of the most aesthetic blogs I’ve ever seen (hehe love the constellation aesthetic) sending lots of positive vibes and appreciation your way 💕

For the matchup event (ahh it’s my first time ever doing one and I hope I didn’t put too much 😱) thank you in advance 💖

Name: eggu

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred partner: open to anyone

MBTI: INFJ

Horoscope: Aquarius

Aesthetic: light academia, soft, oversized sweaters, korean street wear, fandom merch, white and pastels, 4:00 am talks about life, stars and clouds

Some things about me:

I took piano, dance and martial arts lessons growing up and I still enjoy playing piano a lot

I enjoy playing video games on my spare time (I’m currently selling my soul to genshin impact)

I really love music of all genres but I’m currently really into kpop and khiphop (my favourite artists are seventeen and stray kids)

I really like naps and sleeping in general and prefer it over eating — I would say I have pretty low energy in general

I like desserts, pastries and dim sum

I recently got into watching art streams, journaling and collecting cute stationery

I’ve pretty much been a huge geek/fangirl all my life and have loved reading and animation since I can remember

I just finished watching jujutsu kaisen and am currently watching fruits basket (lol I enjoy both extreme shounen and fluffy shoujo)

I’m human and have lots of insecurities but I’m learning

Ideal traits in a partner:

Able to appreciate the quiet moments

I’m not a super physical person, but it would be nice to be physically close to someone I trust and that respects my boundaries

Trustworthy — didn’t have a great past relationship 😞

Isn’t afraid to keep up with banter and has witty remarks... someone that can keep me on my toes

Is driven in something they love

willing to learn and grow alongside me

@eggutartu

Thank you so so so much!! 💕💕💕 i worked really hard on the aesthetic so I’m glad you like it and I’m glad you like what I write! If you ever have ideas, don’t be afraid to share!

Anyway, onto the notes & matchup (I was really proud of this one 😁😁😁)

WHEN I TELL YOU I IMMEDIATELY HAD AN IDEA, I I M M E D I A T E L Y HAD AN IDEA. I was so proud of myself when i got this lol cause I saw your entry when I woke up, barely skimmed it, and said…

TSUKISHIMA KEI

✧ 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡 ✧

Okay okay hear me out

Hot topic (or something similar but I’m American so hot topic)

He was looking to get something for Yamaguchi’s birthday & maybe something for himself because don’t tell me Tsukishima Kei isn’t into anime I know he is

Probably shonen but still

Anyway

You were both reaching for the same thing (yes I’m using THAT trope)

Fortunately for you, there was more than one keychain but still

He was about to get low key defensive like “hey watch it” y’know like

Was in a v short mood

But the second he got the word “hey” out he turned to look at you and just

Froze

And got all embarrassed because look at this beautiful girl he’s standing net to shit he was just cursing you out in his brain

So he’s staring at you with wide eyes and you’re like “oh I’m sorry--you like JJK too? That’s cool”

And he’s stuttering Tsukishima Kei is flustered, everybody

So he’s like “uh yeah kinda I guess I don’t really talk about it a lot cause my friend isn’t into it”

“Well I mean if you ever wanna talk about it we can”

“Really?”

“Yeah, gimme your phone I’ll give you my number. If that’s chill”

“Sure, I guess, yeah”

Akiteru was home that day and hadn’t seen his brother smile this much since he was a kid

Any time he asked though Kei just got all huffy and went to his room

✧ 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑����𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 ✧

U two make playlists for each other on a regular basis (Spotify playlists w collaboration turned on are your best friend)

They're always killer and hit a little too hard

When you tell him you have a new favorite song, he listens to it on repeat until he knows all the lyrics and can pick on you for saying the wrong lyrics if you ever do

Also because it reminds him of you

He loves that he can be himself around you

Really he does

Like that’s one of his favorite things

He doesn’t have to hide any of his hobbies or really anything about him really and he appreciates it so much

It took a while to get there with him, but once he trusted you 100%, he realized he was in love with you

Love and trust are the same things to him (or at least similar) so he knew he loved you when he realized he really could be himself with you around and probably told you as such

He’s not one to push your boundaries, but just had to tell you so it was probably a text like

“Look I don’t expect you to say this back if you’re not ready for that yet, but you’re so amazing--I need to be honest. I’ve done nothing but stare at the ceiling for an hour and think and just realized how in love with you I am. I really am. Take that as you will.”

And then just straight up DIDN’T ANSWER UNTIL 2 AM THAT NIGHT LIKE “sorry I was at Yamaguchi's” LIKE BRO JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT DAMN

Needless to say, he WAS at Yamaguchi's and left his phone at home but it was because he was too afraid of what you’d say

He got home at 11

He just procrastinated for three hours until he finally answered you back

And when you told him you loved him too, his heart SOARED he proceeded to call yams and squeal like a seven-year-old girl for a half hour

If ur shorter than him he uses your head as an armrest, no exceptions

He does it if you're taller than him too he just goes up on his toes to do it

Anyway

Can and will pick on you for everything

It’s the way he shows his love alright

Cute stationery? It’s tacky and “why do you have this it’s irritatingly adorable”

“You’re irritatingly adorable”

“I’m not adorable”

“Yes you are Tsukki"

Lets you call him Tsukki until you can call him Kei

You have to have a thick skin with him because sometimes it’s hard to tell when he’s being sarcastic or not

If he ever did make you cry or genuinely upset though, he’d tear himself to pieces about it for hours and be completely unresponsive to his phone if you text him because he thinks you hate him

When he finally texts you back he’ll never admit how upset he is, but he will apologize for making you upset

It’s really hard to do emotions with this dude but you try to manage

If you can figure out how to make him talk about his problems “let’s talk about Akiteru” “no”? Yamaguchi will love you forever

You get the best friend approval anyway but you get an extra gold star if you can get him to open up more

Oh and you totally like to show up at games or practice and everyone including Ukai and Takeda love you for it because he tries a little harder so he doesn’t look bad in front of you

It’s like a switch he goes from like 5% to 70% effort but that’s the best he’s giving until it’s game time then he’ll crank it to 100%

✧ 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎 ✧

Okay okay but but but but but

Anime dates

Like once a week you two sit and watch anime over discord or smth

You don’t usually talk much but it’s nice to be in each others’ presence

Or close to that

When you can get together it’s that much better

You trade off whose house you’re at every other week, and whoever's visiting picks up snacks on the way

You’ll watch tv, make fun of the characters together, roll your eyes at the sappy moments but lean over to kiss Tsukki anyway

It’s overall a very wholesome scene

But there will be times when he is stressed and tired for whatever reason and he’ll fall asleep

Sometimes he’ll be curled into a little ball on his side of the couch

Sometimes he’ll slouch his head against your shoulder with his arm around your waist

Sometimes he’ll pause the show and pull you down against him and just lay with you for a while

Not even watch tv just

Be happy in each others’ presence

He’ll fall asleep from time to time and you take his glasses off for him

He looks so soft when he’s sleeping and not glaring at people

✧ 𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐼𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ✧

Libras, while they may not exactly say it, are romantics. They enjoy little things about romance, however modern, like spontaneous dates and flowers. They initiate clever ideas and Aquariuses are good at adding a different perspective, so prepare for in-depth conversations. On the other hand, Aquariuses tend to be trendsetters, which Libras support wholeheartedly.

✧ 𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐 ✧

✧ 𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ✧

my boy - Billie Eilish

Hug - SEVENTEEN

King of the Clouds - Panic! At The Disco

She’s In The Rain - The Rose

I Can’t Handle Change - Roar

Runners up: Sugawara Koushi, Akaashi Keiji

[marvella15]

Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 9: The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle

• It’s 1939. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers’ partnership was box office gold and literally kept RKO from bankruptcy. But the magic has fizzled out and both actors are ready to move on. So for their last musical together you pick… a historical re-telling of another famous dancing duo?

This probably made sense at the time because the Castles were well known and who else would possibly play them in a biopic but the best-known dancing duo of the time. But it makes for a very blasé film.

• I’ll say this for The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle, the relationship between Astaire and Rogers’ characters is far more relaxed. They’re a unit for most of the film, which is a nice change. A lot of their personal friendship and connection seeps into their scenes, I think. 

The relationship also feels like a glimpse at what a real-life partnership between Astaire and Rogers might’ve looked like. In her autobiography, she theorizes that she and Astaire might’ve become a serious item had she stayed in New York and they’d continued dating. But instead, she went off to Hollywood.

• Apparently, Irene Castle was a bit of a nightmare for Rogers to deal with. She was incredibly nit-picky about the clothes Rogers wore because she (Irene) was a fashion icon in the 1910s, and since this was a tribute to her and her beloved husband, she was intent on getting her way. 

Irene was also upset with the casting of white actor Walter Brennan as her faithful servant, Walter, who in real life was black. Irene and Vernon were responsible for making African American music like ragtime and jazz popular among whites and traveled with a black orchestra so the whitewashing of Walter possibly felt extra insensitive. 

• It’s likely that without the Castles there would have been no Astaire/Rogers. The Castles helped legitimize “close dancing,” which was previously seen as scandalous, because they were so classy and respectable. They moved dancing along and then Astaire and Rogers moved it even further. 

• Our characters/actors: Vernon Castle (Fred Astaire), Irene Castle (Ginger Rogers), Walter (Walter Brennan), Maggie Sutton (Edna May Oliver)

• I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: don’t waste your time trying to make someone like you who is not interested and terrible. Just move on.

• Ah, the 1910s, when men wore suits to the beach. 

• Is that dog the same one that Rogers had in Shall We Dance?

• Rescuing a dog at the beach is a special kind of meet-cute. Being harangued into spending the rest of the day with the other person’s overbearing family is less cute. Watching the woman you just met perform a weird af “Yama Man” routine while dressed as a clown is just freaky. 

Vernon is rather high and mighty about being a “theatre actor” and Irene being an amateur when he’s the second comic in terrible slapstick shows. In fact, his comedy routine is horribly unfunny.

• Astaire does look rather right in the 1911 attire though and the peck on the cheek Vernon gives Irene is quite sweet. 

• I really enjoy how well they look together when practicing at her house.

• The lyrics “I can see myself doing the things I never could do, It’s true, But only when you’re in my arms” is fitting for Astaire, especially to sing to Rogers.

• The kiss they share after getting engaged is sweeter than the kiss in Carefree. Fight me.

• I like how naturally she reaches for his hand and the way his thumb strokes her fingers. There’s a lot of quiet intimacy between them in this film. 

• They really do a great job with the audition dance. You can see Astaire and Rogers themselves peek through when he spins her a few times. Their faces are just lit up. Home movies from this dance show they were having a pretty fun time. 

• The idea that no one would pay money to see a man dance with his own wife is ludicrous. Obviously, the Castles were a successful married dancing team. But more than that, you’re telling me that if Astaire and Rogers were married irl no one would want to see them dance together? 

• I like how when asked whose idea it is that they dance together, they respond in unison, “Ours,” and then glance at each other. She turns back to the proprietor right after but he keeps gazing at her adoringly. 

• The actress Edna May Oliver plays Maggie Sutton but all I can ever think of when I see her is Lady Catherine de Bourgh, whom she played in the 1940 Pride & Prejudice film. 

Fun fact: The Castles real-life manager was an openly out lesbian named Elizabeth Marbury. One guess why that isn’t included in this 1939 film. 

• The way Vernon (Astaire) watches her while she opens the present is very affectionate and loving. 

• “Dance with me” is a line that’s repeated a few times in this film and it’s lovely. 

• The Castle Walk is the move they invent to dance quietly and it was all the rage. By the time the Castles returned to New York the following year, they were massive celebrities. As we see in the dance montage, they popularized many forms of dance including the tango and foxtrot.

Speaking of the tango, Astaire gives Rogers a few flirtatious up and down looks during that dance. 

• The dances in this film are all based on the Castles’ dances so it’s not the same as when Astaire rigorously choreographed routines specifically for himself and Rogers. However, they still manage to make the dances engaging and uniquely theirs. 

• In “The Maxixe” dance, you can again see Astaire and Rogers as themselves peek through the acting as they grin at each other in a familiar way and he watches her appreciatively during some of the moves. 

• While on the train, they sit side by side and his arm is looped through hers so his hand can rest atop hers. Sweet domesticity that we rarely get to see between Astaire and Rogers’ characters. 

• When he explains to their agent that they want to slow down, he starts out by saying, “We’re in love…” Rogers turns to look at him and doesn’t look away for several seconds. 

• Astaire gives a particularly athletic performance for the Royal Flying Corp. There are a lot of jumps and energetic moves and he nails them all. 

• Irene was right that Vernon would make a good soldier. He was awarded the Croix de Guerre in 1917 and was later promoted to captain.

• Their dance when he’s in his uniform is another lovely duet (you can see some rare behind the scene footage above). It’s not like anything in their previous films, particularly because it is much more demur. But there are several gorgeous moments such as when he’s looking at her and she turns to face him and smiles softly. There’s also a stunning part where he lifts her from behind using only their connected hands and she leans back into his chest, laying her head on his shoulder. 

(gif credit)

• Vernon’s deadly crash was only deadly to him. The student pilot in the plane wasn’t seriously injured and neither was the pilot in the other plane. Vernon was 30 years old.

• In case it’s unclear, Vernon gave a list of songs for the orchestra to play and they are all songs that were meaningful to him and Irene. The ones we hear are: “By the Beautiful Sea,” which was playing the day they met, “By the Light of the Silvery Moon,” which he danced to at the train station, and “Only When You're in My Arms,” which he sang to her before proposing.

• And so the Astaire/Rogers partnership at RKO comes to an end as their characters dreamily dance into the horizon together. But don’t worry. Thanks to Gene Kelly’s broken ankle and Judy Garland’s unavailability, we’ll get to see Astaire and Rogers on screen together one last time. The Barkleys of Broadway is next and last. 

[mewtonian-physics]

An Honest Review of Nancy Drew: Treasure in the Royal Tower

Spoilers under the cut!

Hi! Penny (not that one) here with the next installment of my Nancy Drew game reviews!

In case you haven’t seen the previous reviews, a quick overview of how I’ll be doing this:

I’m going to include several different factors in my review of each game. First, the plot; obvious enough. The plot is, after all, the driving force behind the game. I’ll also be talking about what I think of the characters, as well as how fun it is to play/replay, and the general atmosphere/setting of the game too. And, of course, I’ll talk about my opinions of the music. I’m not going to be doing any ratings or anything like that, no numbers will be coming into these reviews; I’m just going to say my honest thoughts. (Even when they are not nice thoughts.)

Please remember that these reviews will be my entirely subjective opinions! If you disagree with me on any points, that’s absolutely your prerogative, and in fact, I’d love to discuss it with you and hear some perspectives aside from my own. These reviews are not meant to hurt or invalidate anyone’s feelings, but only to put forth my own.

So without further ado, my review of Treasure in the Royal Tower!

Plot

The plot for this one is pretty neat! I literally never gave a single fuck about the French Revolution until I played this game, and now... Well, I do now. Not much of one, because it is still history, but I do. This one kicks off what will soon become a staple of the series--‘Nancy goes on vacation and discovers a mystery!’ This time it’s in a... a castle. In Wisconsin. I would really like to know why anyone would put a castle specifically in Wisconsin. If there’s anyone from Wisconsin reading this, please let me know what it is about your state that makes it the ideal location for a castle. I am genuinely curious. Honestly the entire location feels a little bit weird, like, why is this castle also a ski lodge? But I go to the same place basically every time I go on vacation, so maybe my experience is just too limited. Anyway, Nancy finds out that the library was vandalized, and because she’s Nancy fucking Drew, she immediately has to figure out who, how, and why. (What, when, and where were already covered.) This somehow turns into a hunt for a diamond that belonged to Marie Antoinette (except it didn’t actually, most of the backstory here was entirely made up) that takes Nancy into corners of the castle that by all means should no longer exist, to find clues that also should no longer exist, since the entire castle was taken apart piece by piece in order to be moved to Wisconsin, meaning that the diamond, or at the very least the clues leading to it, would have been found during the dismantling and reassembly of the castle. Suspension of disbelief, I guess. Despite all of the questions that arise during play, it is still an entertaining plot. 

Characters

This game boasts the proud title of being the first game in the series to include an actual character arc! Seriously, the characters in this game are pretty great, although it’s two in particular that really stand out. First of all, we have Dexter Egan--a bitter, resentful old man whose adoptive father, Ezra Wickford, was quite frankly a piece of shit. What kind of parent keeps a scrapbook of every time their kid fucked up? Hello? And then he just disowns him, just like that? I’m not mad or anything. But you can really see why Dexter turned out how he did. Any parent who keeps a literal record of their child’s wrongdoings is undoubtedly going to mess up their kid quite a bit. Anyway, Dexter gets some pretty great development over the course of the game. I’m proud of him.

The second standout character is, of course, Professor Beatrice Hotchkiss! A smart, funny, slightly airheaded icon who quickly became one of my favorite recurring characters. How could she not, when she orders fifty chicken drumsticks (cluck cluck) practically ten minutes after her introduction? And that’s only the beginning! She also serves as an invaluable source of help during the rest of the game, and during the other games she appears in. High five, Team Hotchkiss!

Gameplay

The gameplay in this one is generally pretty good, although it can get kind of tedious at times. (I should have only had to open that door ONCE!) I honestly don’t have a lot of comments to make here. I’m not a fan of how easy it is to get completely lost in the castle, even though I know it adds to the experience... But it bugs me. Still, it’s nice to be moving on from the days of ‘here’s this area you can look at, it will literally never be important in the slightest’, y’know?

Atmosphere

I like the atmosphere of this game a lot! Admittedly I have no idea what Wisconsin is like, I have never been to Wisconsin, but I have been stuck inside during a snowstorm and this game captures that feeling quite well, if you ask me! Which you kind of are, since you’re reading my review. The castle (especially the room with the fireplace) has such a lovely, cozy feeling. I love walking by Professor Hotchkiss’s door to hear her typing, it just adds to the calming effect. I’d love to get a book or two from the library (you know, if it wasn’t vandalized) and just go sit by the fire and read for a while! Also, some of the more secret areas have this delightfully old and kind of spooky feeling, while the Queen’s Tower itself... It’s very ostentatious, as expected, but there’s also something majestic about it, too. All in all, this game did REALLY well here.

Music

Oh, the music. The music. What could I ever hope to say about the music? It’s absolute perfection. The more old-fashioned style enhances the plot so much. The songs themselves run the gamut from calming to intense, from sadness to triumphant majesty, and the use of repeated motifs throughout several of the tracks really ties the whole soundtrack together. I truly do not believe it is possible to improve the music for this game at all. This soundtrack is a work of art, and I don’t say that lightly.

Conclusion

This game is incredible. The plot, the characters, the atmosphere, the music--it all ties together so well that a bit of slightly tedious gameplay isn’t nearly enough to bring it down. It is without a doubt my favorite game in the first five, and might even be my favorite in the first ten. I would not hesitate a moment to recommend this game, as I truly believe that it is an absolutely vital play for any fan of the series. At the very least, go listen to the soundtrack. Go listen to it right now.

See you next time, when I review game #5: The Final Scene!

[asimawv]

I write and conceptualize story to music, so I’ve compiled a playlist of 30 Darkest Dungeon-specific songs that I listen to when writing (and subsequently re-writing) in no particular order, which I hope will help you set the vibe too. :+)

Names in bold are links for easy listening - tons of Hozier and Of Monsters and Men up ahead, five minute warning.

1. ‘Fire and the Flood’ - Vance Joy

If you listen to nothing else on this list, listen to this one - it’s the kind of song that’s made for movies about yearning. Folk influences, choruses of trumpets and vocal harmony, and instruments that are layered for a rich, resonant sound. This is the song I imagine Dismas and Reynauld horse-racing through a crowded outdoors market in the hamlet to, and the song I listened to nonstop freshman year when I first started writing The Myth of Sisyphus.

You're the fire and the flood And I'll always feel you in my blood Everything is fine When your hand is resting next to mine Next to mine You're the fire and the flood

The chorus is built around biblical allusions to the fire (the burning bush signifying first contact) and the flood (destruction of the first world), the beginning and end. Every line is similarly evocative of Darkest Dungeon in their simplicity (“I’ve been getting used to waking up with you,” etc.)

2. ‘Soldier, Poet, King’ - The Oh Hellos

By the title alone you can guess who this is for. Even the Guild quote for the Leper approaches these three things as the defining parts of his character (specifically it’s “a ruined man, a warrior, and a poet.”) This song coincidentally has an old world influence to it, with a Medieval Renaissance style from a guitar playing a lute-adjacent melody.

There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

To be smeared with oil is to be anointed by a prophet and thus chosen by god himself to be king, just as David was and his boy after him (presumably Solomon). There’s something strangely wistful about the imagery, which is just how I like my songs about bygone kings.

3. ‘Exit Hymn’ - Bear Attack!

This song is about the end of the world in a version where everyone simply stands together in silence watching, rather than having the masses swarming in panic.

Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters. Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters Mute.

It defies Lovecraftian horror, which is based on the premise that “common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large” - it flies in the face of existential nihilism and the despair that it should bring us. That’s why I like this song for deaths in the end-boss fight; it also has a special place for other death-related ideas, like full-party wipes - entire teams of people vanishing into the dungeons, gone insane, holding hands while the darkness surrounds them.

It’s a bare song which has a sanctity to it, mostly just piano and rain and human voices. Just what you would hear at the end of the world.

More under the cut:

4. ‘Pursuit of Glory’ - Jhameel

This song is laid-back. It doesn’t have the Homeric intensity that some of the other songs here do - it’s a guy with a guitar and vocal harmony. By god is it a great piece of writing though (all of Jhameel’s older songs have that quality to them), and all of it is evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

So many eyes set on the path to glory Too many ties, friendship is for the lonely Can't still my heart, my tongue has tasted folly Thirsty for art, hungry for power and money

This is a song for everyone in the barracks, especially the ‘laundry list’ of people and their approaches to the pursuit of glory.

5. ‘Good Old Days’ - Macklemore (feat. Kesha)

This fucker put a Macklemore song in here. I did, yeah. It’s not even the only song with Kesha in it here (I’m sorry.) 

It’s a sentimental pop song, and I am sentimental to a fault. This is Darkest Dungeon AMV material, and I always mishear one of the lines as “we were underground, loaded mercs in that 12-passenger van” so it’s here.

We've come so far, I guess I'm proud And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile I've got some scars, I've been around I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now Those good old days

6. ‘Past Lives‘ - Kesha

Here it is, the other Kesha song - this was introduced to me by a good friend, also in a Darkest Dungeon context. There’s just something about the lovers spanning time trope and finding each other in one life to the next that is irresistible (for the obvious reason in the context of Darkest Dungeon.) It���s a soft song, totally out of place in Kesha’s typical discography, and has a line about losing someone to the crusades, so... you know.

There's just somethin' about you I know Started centuries ago though You see your kiss is like a lost ghost Only I would know But I, I keep on falling for you Time after time Time after time

7. ‘Viva la Vida’ - Coldplay

You cannot fight this. You know that this is the song for King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, you know it is. Did you know the official name of this genre of music is “Baroque pop”? Yes, that means more songs like this exist. You will live with this information now.

Don’t fight it. Just let it wash over you.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world

Mirror, sword, and shield, the three other members of his party, his missionaries in a foreign field. Thinking emoji. I typed that out so I wouldn’t have a repeat of the crab emoji incident.

8. ‘The Boxer’ - Jerry Douglas (feat. Mumford & Sons, Paul Simon)

Partly inspired by the Bible, Simon & Garfunkle’s ‘The Boxer’ is a folk rock song about poverty, loneliness, and homesickness. It’s written and sung in a style that’s strongly reminiscent of older times, and the final verse about its eponymous boxer is particularly powerful:

In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of ev'ry glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains

This is what I use for Dismas’ life leading into organized crime and his foolish abandonment of stable job prospects in a half-baked bid for fame, as well as being punched down over and over again but with nowhere else to go. That last part is widely applicable across the cast.

9. ‘I Will Wait’ - Mumford & Sons

I am but a simple man. I see 'folk rock' and add it to my Darkest Dungeon playlist. This song I use for Reynauld - it has that sort of “salt of the earth,” somewhat biblical humility in its choice of words and style. 

Raise my hands Paint my spirit gold And bow my head Keep my heart slow

10. ‘Little Lion Man’ - Mumford & Sons

Have we not beaten this song to death yet? Can you blame us? This is the people’s song. We reserve it for all of our favorite fuck-up characters, as primal as Saturn devouring his son. We love this song. Jesus.

Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck

The line about learning from your mother in particular is why I think of this song for Dismas’ introspection, but I also associate it with the Hellion.

11. ’From Eden’ - Hozier

There’s too much Hozier in my playlists. There is so much of it, and it’s all important to me, says the hoarder. There’s something about profoundly intimate folk music that I love, and god put folk, R&B, blues, and alt rock into a Vitamix for 45 seconds to make Hozier.

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

‘From Eden’ is, according to Hozier, about idolizing someone from a distance, written from the perspective of the devil “looking longingly at something he desires - for everything that he does not have.” I associate this song with the Grave Robber for its playfully nihilistic tone - Audrey does say something to the effect of being left for dead by high society and the affectionate bordering condescending address is on-brand.

12. ‘Cherry Wine’ - Hozier

‘Cherry Wine’ is unabashedly about domestic violence, and its sincerity is heartbreaking, the sanctification of the blood spilled in the name of keeping her.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

This song is strongly tied to the Vestal for me.

13. ‘Work Song’ - Hozier

A song about unconditional love - heaven and hell were just words, indeed.

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

I think of this song for both Dismas and the Abomination - it’s a song about love transcending spiritual and even physical need, complete devotion, but something about it is also not quite right. It’s morbid and excessive, self-pitying, and almost ugly in its sincerity.

14. ‘Sunlight’ - Hozier

The strong gospel influence with the choruses, church organ, religious fervor - I think it makes a great song for traveling scenes and church/altar scenes.

I had been lost to you, sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight oh sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) But it is sunlight

15. ‘Arsonist’s Lullabye’ - Hozier

The gospel this time is paired with electric rock instrumentation. Something about the lamentation is unapologetic and matter-of-fact in its disturbing inclinations - this is Paracelsus’ song. Arguably representative of Bounty Hunter and Flagellant as well.

Now that I think about it, it’s great for Abomination as well. Damn.

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

16. ‘We Sink’ - Of Monsters and Men

Of Monsters and Men are closer to the indie rock/pop spectrum with influences of folk, with much less biblical influence and more folklore-inspired lyrics. They make for great trailer and action songs.

We are the sleepers, we bite our tongues We set the fire and we let it burn Through the dreamers, we hear the hum They say come on, come on, let's go So come on, come on, let's go

In Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos, dreams are how the Old Ones commune with humans on the earth’s surface while they slumber in the ocean depths (Cthulhu fhtagn meaning “Cthulhu is dreaming”); I like to think of the ‘sleepers’ as the heroes being tasked to “set the fire” and the ‘dreamers’ being the Heir and Ancestor driven by some unseen force to unearth the antediluvian underground.

17. ‘I Of The Storm’ - Of Monsters and Men

Very somber song, overwhelmingly piano and snare drum and vocals. Also a great death scene song, or for introspection around the campfire, or played to reveal a major event.

If I could face them If I could make amends With all my shadows I'd bow my head And welcome them

18. ‘King and Lionheart’ - Of Monsters and Men

My favorite OMAM song - it’s clearly written about two children, kind of reminiscent of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ in its fantastical nature, and very upbeat about the end of the world.

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same

This part is reminiscent of the Leper’s journey, but the mentions of taking over a town, howling ghosts, the end of the world, a black sea and creatures lurking below, etc. are all evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

19. ‘Little Talks’ - Of Monsters and Men

Also very upbeat for its subject matter - according to OMAM, it’s a narrative of a woman speaking with the ghost of her dead husband, or going insane and believing that she’s speaking with her dead husband.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

The call-and-respond style of the song is haunting. I like this song for expeditions and afflicted heroes.

20. ‘Wolves Without Teeth’ - Of Monsters and Men

Suitable for both Occultist and Abomination, being consumed by an unseen and otherworldly force that inhabits them - well, maybe just rarely seen, in the Abomination’s case. Special mention to OMAM’s ‘Human,’ same conceptual backing but more raw.

You hover like a hummingbird Haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world Sinking in my sea, oh You're feeding on my energy I'm letting go of it He wants it

21. ‘Desierto’ (Original Motion Picture Score) - Woodkid

This is a full album, because all of it is dark orchestral cinema music described as ‘unsettling,’ with the sole exception of ‘Land of All,’ which has vocals to it. I reserve this album for writing fight scenes and for particularly unsettling events because it’s tense and wordless. I read Junji Ito to this soundtrack too, it’s insanely high-strung and discordant.

22. ‘Iron’ - Woodkid

‘Iron’ qualifies as Baroque pop - you might recognize this as the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations song. The large-scale, cinematic style of it and thematic lyrics make it great for writing about dramatic encounters or brigands.

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't recall your eyes, your face

23. ‘Never Let You Down’ - Woodkid (feat. LYKKE LI)

Another somber song, orchestral with some industrial noise in the mix - another great introspection song, or one for a scene with some hard decisions to be made.

Will you come along cause I'm about to leave this town In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you Will you be holding out the line when I fall?

24. ‘Run Boy Run’ - Woodkid

Church bells, fast percussion, strong orchestral presence. For chase scenes, obviously, but great for fast-paced sneaking scenes as well. Also has a strong quasi-Medieval fantasy setting style to it.

Tomorrow is another day And you won't have to hide away You'll be a man, boy! But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

25. ‘I Love You’ - Woodkid

Don’t let the scream effects and aggressive percussion at the beginning deter you (it kind of took me by surprise the first few times too) - it soon fades into more of the church bells and melodic string accompaniment.

Oh yeah, unrequited love song? It’s free (mental) real estate, baby.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves, I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

26. ‘Vagabonds’ - Grizfolk

A rare departure from folk! Grizfolk is alt rock/indie pop. Stylistically it doesn’t match the feeling of Darkest Dungeon, but lyrically it’s almost 1:1 to arrival in the hamlet and the subsequent expeditions. Good song for writing about recruits bonding.

Oh this careless ground, guessing this is home now Oh in no man's land, at least we're still standing And we're all just fighting, some of us will not return And there's no redemption in trying to find your way out

27. ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ - Lorde

Great trailer fuel, if you’ve seen the AC: Unity E3 trailer with this song - I listen to an extended version when writing fights in the Guild, especially one where two heroes are beefing. It’s got a primal kind of thing going on. I also associate this song with the Arbalest - lyrically, it fits her backstory like a glove.

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you

Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature

28. ‘Torches’ - X Ambassadors

More alt rock/indie pop - kind of a rallying song for dark expeditions, hopeful but still somber in nature - some gospel elements. X Ambassadors’ more popular ‘Renegades’ is also a fun tavern song.

Come on, carry your flame Carry it higher Leave it in the darkness Carry your torches

29. ‘Passing Afternoon’ - Iron & Wine

This is a song I use for reconciliation or domestic scenes - Dismas with Junia in the garden, for example. It’s soft and kind of meandering, and features vintage piano - you know, the piano you heard in the basement of your church turned community center as a child.

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

30. ‘Some Nights’ - Fun.

You know this song, your mom knows this song, everyone knows this song from like, middle school. Thought it’d be fun to end this list on an uplifting and very popular song. This is the song that a Disney adaptation of Darkest Dungeon would use in the Training Montage™ - from the point of view of Reynauld. It hits all of the points - being their commander rather than their equal, his stern and antisocial zealotry with no true ideology behind it, the ghost of his wife.

Verse 2, starting with “Well, that is it, guys, that is all / Five minutes in and I'm bored again” is where I see it transitioning to Dismas.

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know

_____

Well that’s all from me! Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the replies, and I’d love to know what you think about my personal picks. :+)

[nonstoplover]

wasn’t expecting that ~ Chris Evans (song drabble)

my masterlist │ my song drabbles

song used as inspiration: jamie lawson ~ wasn't expecting that

words: 4.1K

approximate reading time: about 20-25 mins

warnings: realllly small, not even detailed mentions of a coming death at the very end of it, if you're uncomfortable with reading about deadly illnesses, please don't read after the “many, many years later” caption!! otherwise it's nothing but nonstop fluffiness

a/n: song drabble nUMeRo CuAtRo!!! the ending is a little bit sad, i'm sorry, i just really love this song and wanted to follow the lyrics as perfectly as i could. this song is so beautiful, if you haven’t already, give it a listen. absolutely breathtaking.

anyway, this story here has a couple time jumps, prepare yourself for that lmao. these are mostly just short scenes showing glimpses of reader's life. i hope you enjoy it, the longest song drabble by far that i have written. let me know what you think, feedback is very much appreciated!! and as usual, feel free to request, loves.

The floor was shaking and even the air was vibrating from the loud bass ringing through the speakers of the club (y/n) previously decided to spend the night at. It wasn't typical of her, but as she just finished a huge project at work and actually amused her boss with the professionalism she had shown, she thought she deserved a night out.

It's been a while since she had last stepped inside a club or any party, she had always been too caught up with her work. She joyously glanced around the crowd of people moving to the rhythm on the dancefloor as she was slowly slipping her drink at the bar counter, the side of her body pressing against it, looking for support.

Her moving eyes fell on a particular guy over and over again. An attractive, tall, blondish brown haired young man whose smile seemed to bring sunshine even to the darkness of the club. She felt a strange feeling in her chest and slightly alcohol-clouded mind whenever she accidentally caught sight of him.

One of those times when she turned her head back to watch him, he wasn't there and she felt disappointment pang in her body, a kind of feeling she'd never admit feeling because of a stranger.  

A few moments passed with her standing motionless, eyes watching the liquid dance around in her glass from the loudness of the music, but then a body collided with hers, startling the girl. She raised her head with wide eyes, meeting a beautiful pair of green ones already staring at her.

"Well, this wasn't how I wanted to introduce myself, but I guess I gotta work with what I got," the man she was previously staring at oh so many times chuckled, leaning a little closer so she could hear his words clearly. "I'm Chris."

(y/n) tried to ignore the sudden change of rhythm inside her chest, her pulse rapidly growing. She was almost sure the man in front of her could hear her heart beat in her throat. With a (probably visible) gulp she took the held out hand and shook it.

"I'm (y/n)."

"Beautiful name," Chris grinned and the girl felt relieved the lights were dim as she could feel the blood rush to her cheeks.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"I saw you from over there and you have such a breathtakingly gorgeous smile that I knew it'd be the biggest mistake of my life if I wouldn't come over and introduce myself."

He was such a flirt, and these exaggerated compliments were way too cheesy for her liking, but still, somehow the way he spoke the words, she could feel herself grow weak in the knees.

Meanwhile all Chris was able to think was that even though he probably sounded like a creep, a bold creep, he had to praise her. She had to know just how precious she was. A feeling took over him, filling him up from his toes to the top of his head, something he had never felt before. He knew that if there was one thing he truly wanted in his life, it was to get to know this woman.

"You have pretty eyes," (y/n) replied a moment later, almost immediately mentally cursing herself. Really?! This was the best thing her mind could come up with? Her whole face probably looked brighter red than a tomato by now, and she swiftly raised her glass to drink from it, trying to hide herself and finding something to do as she prayed for the ground to open up under her feet and swallow her as a whole.

Chris just let out an honest, lovely laugh, his eyes sparkling with happiness, showing no sign that he thought the girl was weird or awkward. In fact, he found her answer rather adorable instead.

"Can I get you another?" He pointed at the now empty glass.

(y/n) glanced down, for a moment unsure what he meant as she was still caught up in her thoughts, but a few seconds later she just shook her head, letting out a laugh.

"No, thanks, I think I had enough." She knew that if she had even just one more sip of alcohol in her body, she would only make an even bigger fool out of herself and the last thing she wanted to do was to embarrass herself in front of such a fine piece of a man.

"Whatever you'd like," Chris smiled back. "Then, would you like to dance or you'd prefer sitting down somewhere a little more quiet and talk?"

He was moving fast and non-stop, and he was a tiny bit scared he might lose everything with it, but the fear of the girl leaving without him having a chance to find out more about her was greater and stopped the little, worrying voice in his head.

"Dancing's fine for now," (y/n) grinned, grabbing the man's hand and pulling him already towards the dancefloor.

All her life, she'd always been shy and incoherent around men, but seeing the straightforwardness of Chris she felt a sudden wave of confidence move through her veins.

They danced through multiple songs, bodies moving close against each other, facing each other or with (y/n) pressing her back against his front, it didn't matter. They changed position multiple times, getting completely lost in the deafening music and each other.

It only took an hour or so before (y/n), now standing face to face with him, lifted her head and at the same time Chris lowered his, right until their lips met in a chaste kiss. It was so short (y/n) couldn't decide if she only dreamt it, but then as their eyes met again, the twinkle in his green ones told her that it was real.

Both of them bursted out giggling as they continued to dance for a few minutes before eventually (y/n) felt too exhausted to move another bone in her body. They managed to collect their jackets before stepping out into the cold early spring night.

Their ears were whizzing from spending hours in the noisy room but it felt great to finally have some fresh oxygen in their lungs. Without a word spoken (y/n) slipped her hand into Chris' much bigger one and started walking home. She felt utterly thankful for living only two streets down from the club, not having to wait for an Uber to arrive.

The ten minutes of walking they spent with flowing conversation, eventually slightly sobering up, but that didn't stop them from starting making out as soon as they reached her building. With a little stumbling on the stairs completed with a couple kisses stolen on the way up, they successfully arrived to her apartment door.

After four resultless attempts Chris took the key from the girl's tipsy, clumsy hands and opened the door himself. Making out immediately continued, with (y/n)'s back pressed against the wall, her body trapped between the man's arms, one that was supporting his weight on the wall and one on her waist whilst his feet were on either side of hers. There was nowhere to go for her, but it's not like she even wanted to leave.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sunlight crept in through the window, slowly reaching (y/n)'s face, waking her up from the amazing dream she had. She mentally cursed herself for forgetting to close the blinds the night before, and sleepily rolled over to escape the sharp light hitting her eyes.

A moment later her fingers touched warm, soft skin and she was all of a sudden completely awake, eyes open wide. She stared at the man laying in her bed in disbelief.

So it wasn't a dream?  This Greek god truly spent the night with her? A gasp escaped her lips and she swiftly brought her palm up, pressing it against her mouth, hoping she didn't wake him up.

Chris started somewhat moving, his hand that was until then laying between their bodies moving up and around her torso. She subconsciously shuddered under his touch and it was enough to wake him up. His eyes blinked open, a lazy smile splitting his face.

"Good morning, (y/n)."

"Good morning," she answered, his raspy morning voice waking a couple feelings inside of her chest.

"What?" He chuckled when he finally caught glimpse of her still visibly surprised expression.

"I just... well, I wasn't expecting that." Her pointer finger moved back and forth between them, alternately signalling at the man and herself.

"Me too, I never thought I'd ever wake up in such an amazing woman's bed," Chris raised his eyebrow suggestively, a wide grin playing on his lips.

"No, I meant that I never thought that I'd ever wake up beside a real marble statue."

Chris bursted out laughing before repeating her words in amusement.

"Well, okay, not marble statue. But a real life god for sure," (y/n) mumbled.

The man only laughed even harder, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"If I'm a god, then you're a goddess," he replied before leaning down to kiss the girl passionately.

A couple minutes of rolling around in the bed sharing sloppy, dozy kisses later Chris stood up from the bed. (y/n) almost covered her eyes when they took in the sight of the naked man in front of her, but memories of the previous night came to her mind and she just smiled up at him, noticing the tiny smirk taking over his expression as he looked down at her lying form.

"I'll take a shower, you join if you like, and then I'll take you out for breakfast," he announced on his way to the bathroom winking over his shoulder, and before she would have the chance or time to protest, he has already disappeared through the doorway.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Everyone, this is Chris," (y/n) announced to her small group of friends. "And Chris, this is everyone."

Laughter filled the living room before eventually each person opposing the couple moved to introduce themselves to their friend's boyfriend.

"We've heard so many things about you," Jack grinned at him as they shook hands.

"Only good ones, I hope." Chris chuckled.

"Oh, don't worry, she's talking about you all the time, and somehow they're only good, or what is more, amazing things," Emily joined the conversation, pulling the friend group's new addition into a hug.

"Yeah, I'm quite convinced by now that you're naturally unable to make mistakes," another friend, Daniel added.

Chris shook his head in disbelief, lovingly glaring at the girl standing by his side as he laughed along with her friends.

"What? It's not true, I do tell them your disadvantages too!" (y/n) protested in an exclaim.

"Really? Then I probably missed them all 'cause I can't remember a single thing," Emily giggled.

"I think we all missed that," Jack high-fived her.

"Shut up, guys."

(y/n) rolled her eyes, swiftly moving out of her boyfriend's hold, leaving towards the kitchen.

"Come on, girl, we're only joking!" The last one of her friends, Tessa called out after her.

"Just stop making a fool of me in front of Chris," (y/n) announced when she got back with a plate in her hands. "You're gonna scare him away and I'll hate you for it forever."

"It's impossible, nothing can make me leave." Chris grabbed her arm to pull her into his side, pressing a quick kiss against her temple.

A choir of 'aww's filled the air and (y/n) hid her face in her palms to cover the rising blush.

"Let's just play one of those games," she pointed at the tower of board games on the coffee table to try and divert the subject.

Three hours later Chris placed the last dirty glass in the dishwasher, straightening his back with a sigh. To say he was tired was a misunderstanding. He felt utterly exhausted, the nervousness of meeting (y/n)'s friends for the first time, the countless different games they played throughout the evening had completely worn him out.

He wearily strolled back inside the living room, slumping down on the couch as his girlfriend still moved around, sweeping the floor.

"How are you?" She glanced at him with an understanding smile.

"Dead tired," he groaned. "But it was fun. I like them."

"You do?" (y/n) beamed, pouring the collected dirt inside the trash can before moving to sit down next to him, snuggling into him.

"Did you have fun?" Chris asked back, pressing a kiss against her hair, right on the top of her head.

"Absolutely. Thank you for everything," she sighed in contentment. "And for helping me clean up."

"You're welcome."

They stayed like that, enjoying the peaceful quiet and happiness surrounding them inside and out for about half an hour. Chris couldn't help but think about one thing only, and that one thing was what he was feeling in his chest. It had been there for a while now, but that day it grew even stronger.

(y/n) was thinking about the same thing. How complete this man had made her and her life ever since he came into view. How much he gave her, whether it was words, silence, touches, a kiss or literally anything else that she needed. She wanted him to know it, so in that calmness she took the chance to finally express it.

"I love you," she whispered so quietly she wasn't sure he even heard it, right until she felt Chris' body go tense as he took in the words.

He couldn't believe his ears first. Did the girl hear his thoughts? He wanted to say it out loud, too, but she was faster.

"I love you too," he replied.

(y/n) raised her head and sat up straighter, supporting her weight gripping into his arm. She was grinning wide, and he felt one with a similar width splitting his face as well. They both let out a giggle before leaning in and kissing each other with the most passion ever.

"Wow, I didn't think you could make me smile this big," (y/n) chuckled when they parted.

"Me neither."

They stared at each other in complete adoration for what felt like eternity before the girl let out a yawn, breaking the moment. Chris stood up, gently lifting her up in bridal style to bring her to her bed.

"Are you gonna stay?" Her sleepy voice broke the comfortable silence when her body met the mattress and she snuggled herself into the sheets.

"If you want me to, yeah."

"Of course I want you to, dummy," she giggled and Chris smiled, pulling his shirt off his body before crawling into bed, arms already moving around her torso to pull her into him.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"I'm trying to work!" (y/n) exclaimed when Chris didn't stop tickling her side, standing behind her chair.

"And I'm trying to talk with you," he answered cheekily, but the slight quiver of his voice didn't go unnoticed by the girl. She put the pen down and turned to the side to look at him. Within a moment he was squatting beside her so she didn't have to crane her neck too much to be able to look into his eyes.

"What is it then?" (y/n) asked sweetly, reaching out to lace her fingers with his.

"I was thinking," Chris started, but eventually stopped after these three words, making the girl let out a chuckle.

"Yeah? That was the important thing that couldn't wait?"

"No, shhh, I'm tryna find the best way to say it," he placed a finger against her lips to gently shut her up.

"Okay, now you're scaring me," she stated from behind his touch, slightly muffled as her eyes widened with worry.

"You know, I think... Uh..."

(y/n) had never seen him like that before. Chris was a stuttering mess instead of the always confident man she got to know him to be. She waited patiently for him to continue, intrigued to find out the reason behind his nervosity.

"Let's move in together."

Her lips somewhat parted as she processed his words, taken aback by the sudden announcement.

"I mean, we're technically already living together, there are only a couple nights we spend apart, and I think it'd be nice to officially be able to be together 24/7," the man rambled, trying to explain it.

Now it was (y/n)'s turn to shush him with her finger against his lips. She had already thought about it just like seemingly he did, so her answer was already thought through and ready to be spoken out loud.

"It'd be awesome," she said, grinning widely at Chris. He fistbumped the air in the utter joy he was feeling before pulling the girl in by the back of her neck and smashing their lips together.

- - - - - - - - -

As the celebration of their one year anniversary, Chris arranged a weekend getaway trip to the mountains where he rented a small house away from everything and everyone so they could spend some time actually, truly alone.

He planned everything, even packed a bag for her, putting in all her favourite clothing items, and he only told her about it when he woke her up the day before their anniversary at 6am so they could leave early.

The roadtrip was amazing, filled with lots of laughter, singing (or more like belting out song lyrics), stuffing their stomach with all kinds of snacks (Chris bought at least one pack of literally everything he had found in the shop earlier), and switching position every once in a while so he could rest a bit while she was the one driving.

(y/n) was blown away, to say the least. The house, the view, the whole idea itself was breathtakingly lovely. No one ever did anything like that for her in her whole life. She had never felt so loved.

Being exhausted from the several hours long car ride and getting up so early in the morning, they eventually decided to take a nap. Not much later (y/n) was already sleeping so deep that she didn't notice her boyfriend leave her side. He worked in silence in the bathroom, careful not to make any mistakes as he lit the small candles and scattered the rose petals.

An hour later, when the girl finally woke up, Chris was nowhere to be seen. She walked around the house in search of him, and eventually arrived to the bathroom. Her jaw dropped to the floor as her eyes took in the sight.

Candlelight illuminated dimly the whole room, petals of red roses creating a path towards the bathtub. She slowly approached it, and when she glanced down, she let out a quiet squeal.

With those very petals there were words written out on the bottom of the tub.

          WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Her hand flew up to cover her widely opened lips as tears filled her eyes. The sound of the door closing behind her made her spin around, and there he was, the man she was previously searching for. A simple, white shirt hugged his torso perfectly, the outlines of his toned upper body clearly showing from under it. His choice of clothing was completed with a pair of elegant pants and a single red rose was in his hands.

He slowly knelt down to one knee under her staring eyes and as a sob escaped her, a couple teardrops freeing themselves and rolling down her cheeks, he spoke the words of the question out loud, pulling a ring box out from his pocket.

She was crying unstoppably at this point, but she managed to move her head in several huge nods as an answer. When she was finally able to form words, she started mumbling yes over and over against the skin of her hands.

Chris swiftly stood up and rushed to her side, taking her face in his hands only to stare at her in affection for a couple seconds. He eventually broke out from his trance and pulled her face towards him to kiss her.

"What, you're not even gonna look at the ring?" He joked with their lips still touching when after they parted, she still chased him with her lips.

(y/n) leant further away from him and turned her gaze down, watching as Chris pulled the mentioned ring out of its box and place it onto her fourth finger.

"It's absolutely gorgeous," she gasped, taking in the simple, yet elegant golden ring. She moved her hand around, amused by how beautifully the small gem shined in the candlelight.

"Thank you," the girl lifted her head back up to press yet another kiss against his lips, followed by about a million more.

- - - - - - - - -

Exactly two years after they first met in that club, (y/n) found herself stepping out to the slightly crisp but sunny spring air, her arms linked with her father's, body perfectly hugged by the previously chosen wedding dress.

As they got closer to the front, she noticed the tears shining in Chris' eyes as he watched her come closer and her heart fluttered with utter delight.

She truly was a wonderfully gorgeous creature. Chris knew that he'd never be able to get enough of looking at her.

He truly was a sight for sore eyes, (y/n) thought giddily, almost tripping on her way there. She was sure she would've faceplanted onto the ground if his father wasn't grabbing her arm so tightly.

Chris shook his head in loving disbelief as he noticed her (not surprising) clumsiness and (y/n) shrugged, shooting a grin his way.

Finally tearing her gaze from the man, his fiancé, (in order to avoid actually tripping) she looked to the side to catch a glimpse of her mum. The older woman's eyes were blurry, cheeks staining with wet stripes already, her lips curved into a beaming smile. She held her hand up, forming a thumbs up at her daughter, making her grin even wider before turning back towards Chris, as she was arriving to her final destination.

The ceremony didn't last long, or at least for the couple standing facing each other it didn't seem moer than a couple minutes. In the flicker of an eye they were already at the end of it, leaning in to kiss each other in utter and complete love.

"I love you more than anything, Mrs Evans," the new husband whispered to his wife.

"I love you too, Mr Evans."

- - - - - - many, many years later - - - - - - -

"Don't you cry, you old dumbass," (y/n) scolded her husband, glancing up at him from where she was laying in the hospital bed, her voice raspy from age but the glint in her eyes still the exact same as it was in her twenties, whenever she was looking at him.

"But it's back," Chris whispered in a watery voice as he sat next to her, gripping her hand tightly. He tried hard to fight the urge to cry, it could wait until he got back home where she couldn't see him. It's the least he could do for her now.

"Yeah, and what? You whining about it won't make it go away," the older woman rolled her eyes.

"You're right," he sighed, lifting her hand up to his lips to press a shaky kiss against the back of it.

"I know, I always am," (y/n) laughed. "Otherwise, didn't we have a full life? We had each other through all of it. We made three human beings and raised them amazingly, I mean, just look at them. All successful in what they love to do, respected and surrounded with their own families. We have seven adorable grandchildren. And, you know, we have to face it, we're more than 70 now. Everyone dies someday, and I think we were lucky to stay alive for so long. It could've taken me back then, but it didn't and we had more than thirty years after that. What we had is more than I have ever wished for back when I was a kid or a teenager. All we should be is thankful."

At the end of her speech she was so out of breath that she had to spend a couple seconds leaning her head back and just breathing - panting.

"You're right, again," her husband smiled sadly, and her eyes gleamed happily.

"I love you," she spoke up again when she gained enough strength to do so. "I have loved you all my life, more than anything, never forget that. And I'm thankful for you and all that you've done for me. One thing's for sure, though. On that night in the club, I wasn't expecting that."

A teardrop escaped no matter how hard (y/n) tried to hold it back, and it slowly made its way down the elderly, paper-like skin of her cheek. Chris leaned in and gently kissed it away, both of them letting out a weak giggle from the movie-like cheesiness of it.

"And I love you too, darling."

.::the end::.

my masterlist

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

JULY PICKS!

You heard me correctly, I said JULY! Whoosh, this year is going by fast-but not in a good way if you know what I mean. This will be my last monthly wrap up where I am strictly staying home in quarantine as this upcoming week I’m heading back to work in person. Wish me luck!

We had quite the range this month from newly released, reality, musical and then some favorites from last month that I’ve continued watching. Without further ado here we go....

There’s going to be PLENTY of SPOILERS this go round. ESPECIALLY with my first pick of Stargirl. You’ve been warned!!!

DC’S STARGIRL

I need to talk about 1x10 or I’m going to burst!!! As stated above there will be A LOT of SPOILERS IN THIS POST!! So scroll down to the next picture if you don’t want it to be spoiled. 

You’ve been warned...again.

IT CANNOT END LIKE THAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Henry! Wow! 1) Epic fighting 2) The backstory and how he wasn’t going to give up on his dad AND THEN how he wouldn’t give into his dad. 3) HE DIED RATHER THAN JOIN HIS SIDE OR PRETEND (which I honestly felt was going to happen). His character arc and I can’t believe it’s over!!! 4) His speech at the end: *weeping.* I knew Brainwave was going to say he killed his mother. It just felt like the build up. Brainwave Jr. would have been a GREAT ADDITION TO THE JSA! AND OMG THE WAY THE REST OF THEM FOUGHT FOR HIM! I loved how they framed it so you could still see them in the back when Henry spoke to his father. Super heartbreaking. Man, it feels like a lot of people have been killed off this first season (or am I just still thinking about Joey?) 

Side note: Check out the Instagram Live between father and son Brainwave on Stargirl’s CW page. Jake Austin Walker did an AWESOME interview in his take over.

This was one of the strongest episodes overall and definitely one of my favorites so far. I agree with many others that while it is SOO GOOD and I want to rewatch it again, I don’t know if I can emotionally yet. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a show. 

Some other thoughts this episode: WAY TO GO BARBARA! Way to record them to translate later (such an awesome app btw, how do I get it?). I’m glad her and Pat came more to an understanding because I love them especially with that glimpse into how they met. Jordan’s parents give me the creeps, like the couple from The Visit vibes. I feel like Mike’s got to find out ASAP, especially because he’s spent time in the garage. Something’s got to show him the truth; because I’m really feeling he figures it out rather than being told. Very curious to see what his reaction will be. SOLOMON GRUNDY. Thank God Beth talked Rick down. She really is like Chuck in being the voice of reason. She did really well in the cafeteria too. While I still don’t believe Starman is Courtney’s dad, how cute was it when she put together her and Henry were cousins? Speaking of Court’s dad, who else didn’t feel like Starman was her dad until they saw that upcoming promo? I don’t know who that impostor is but he is not her dad. Something’s fishy.

Loving this show. So happy it’s renewed for a second season!! 

THE 100

From a show I can’t get enough of to one whose final season is a disappointment. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about The 100 because I feel I’ll just be repeating myself from previous posts. However, I did want to include it because I haven’t spoken much about the previous 2 episodes that I wound up watching back to back and I didn’t overly dislike them. 

As many have complained, when you have a final season you shouldn’t introduce SO MANY new characters and just push aside your originals (or the ones who are left). You also shouldn’t include so many confusing plots that are making it look like were the main points overall (like this many world concept was around since the first grounders) and playing with time in so many episodes is hard to keep up with too. Having so many people separated makes it difficult to remember what just happened to this specific group because I haven’t seen them in forever. ANYWAY, I did promise some positives. I didn’t except to like 7x08 because of it being a flashback episode with brand new people that was just going to feel like a potential spin-off pilot. Well...I actually really enjoyed it and the concept that the bunker was used before One Crew. The characters were easy to like and it was cool seeing Allie again (and this time not as the villain). While it felt forced including the orb (is that what it’s called? If not that’s what I’m calling it), but I liked how all the other pieces fit together (ex: the flame, the grounders’ language). Honestly, I surprise myself to say this, but I’d watch another episode. For 7x09, I liked being on Bardo and watching Octavia, Echo, Diyoza and Hope slowly get “brainwashed” I mean trained. We all knew it wouldn’t work for Hope and if I was them I would rather be on Sky Ring than Bardo (but then I guess I’d go crazy, so...) I enjoy the Octavia and Levitt relationship and would love them to work out, but if this show taught you anything it’s to be skeptical. I also want to shift to the Primes plot, just to showcase John Murphy for a second. THAT MAN! What a character development he’s had on this show. From the first season where I was like come on Murphy to now me awaiting his scenes. From cockroach to someone who won’t view himself as a hero. So good and something that is fantastic about this final season. They might have forgotten about other characters, but they’re doing it right by Murphy. 

Well, that was more than I was expecting. ;)   

THE CIRCLE

It feels like I haven’t watched a lot of reality TV this year, which makes sense because of our quarantine situation (but then again I’m watching World of Dance, but that’s a different because it’s more of a competition/dance show. I’ll stop rambling). The Circle is a reality ‘game’ show that could be easily completed during quarantine and social distancing because the contestants do not see each other in person. They each have an apartment in this complex and only communicate with each other on a social media platform called the Circle. The objective is to become the most popular and an influencer who gets power over who stays and who goes in the competition. There’s some side contests throughout, but most of the show is just people chatting through an insta messenger and trying to learn as much as they can. Alliances are formed and cat fishes try to thrive all for the grand prize of $100,000. (Wow, that’s a lot!) It is SUPER addicting and very funny. Having a voice-over narrator really makes it even funnier because she says what we’re all thinking. Just about every episode a contestant leaves and then is able to meet one other person in their apartment. It’s been cool seeing their reactions as oftentimes it’s someone they did not expect AT ALL. I can’t wait to finish it. If you’re a fan of Big Brother than this is definitely for you. Looks like there will be a second season, which I am excited about.  

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Jumping from one Netflix show to another. Released on Netflix on July 3rd, I tried not to binge it all in one day because then it would be over (and we still don’t know if there will be a second season yet). This is definitely my feel good watch for July. If you want something that’s a quick watch and just wholesome and fun to escape our current world than this is for you. I always felt so happy after watching and couldn’t wait to watch another. While I was familiar with the franchise--the 90s movie and of course the books (although I was more of a Babysitter Little Sister fan, so I was very excited to see Karen), you don’t have to have any knowledge of the Babysitters Club to enjoy this show. I was hooked just about right away by this new series shown by me watching the first three episodes back to back. I really like how they set up each episode with one girl as the main focus (just like in the books) where she takes over the voice-over narration. Great representation and made modern to fit in with our current times. The first example that comes to mind is when Mary Ann babysits Bailey who is transgender. I liked how Bailey says those are her old clothes while they’re playing. It’s shown in a way that explains the situation without feeling like a lecture. It fits so naturally into the episode. And then Mary Ann’s speech at the hospital is super powerful for both Bailey and herself. This is just one example of how well represented this show is. Extremely strong cast and actresses who are the proper ages. I also love the adult casting and how they threw in a Clueless reference from Alicia Sliverstone (who plays Kristy’s Mom). As someone who is writing for this age group, I really liked hearing and seeing how authentic this show is. 

FEEL THE BEAT

A Netflix original movie that has been on my list for a while that I just got around to watching. It didn’t come out too long ago. In the film, Sofia Carson’s character is a dancer who is a perfectionist. She gets on the bad side of a big NYC producer when she not only leaves her in the rain as she steals her taxi, but also knocks her, accidentally, off stage and becomes a viral video-this basically blackmails her in Broadway. This all happens within about the first 10 minutes of the film and the majority takes place back in her small home town (very Hallmark-like) in Wisconsin. While there her old dancing teacher wants her to share her Broadway wisdom with her young students. Meanwhile Carson has only been a chorus girl, so she doesn’t really have any. What draws her to helping the young girls is the chance to perform in front of a big choreographer that could get her to be the star she always dreamed of. The catch is that it’s the teacher dance in the childrens dance competition. While this might sound like a movie you’ve watched many times before, it was still worth it and a really fun watch. I think the kids really make the movie. They are adorable, funny and super talented. You feel connected with them really fast and want to see them succeed. I loved Dickie and how he joined the group. I think he was my favorite overall. I loved how inclusive the cast was here too (just like BSC) from a mixed race family, to single parents and even a student who was Deaf. It was great seeing the other actors sign to her. Carson’s character, April, can be annoying at times, but you understand it’s her character and something she needs to overcome. As I said before the plot may seem familiar, but the ending was something I didn’t see coming. Overall, wholesome, feel good and fun for the whole family. You can consider to watch while babysitting. (See what I did there??)  

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

She’s back! I know last month when I included Violetta it was mainly me being excited to see the second season FINALLY streaming on Disney Plus. I had watched a few episodes (remember there’s 80 altogether, so even if I watched 20 that’s still very early on and just a dent in the season) and was still getting used to this season. Well, now I’m happy to report I am in the 40s and more than half way. For a bit I was watching many of these episodes a day, which told me that I was loving it again. Recently, I feel I need a little more of a push to watch, but it’s mainly because of certain story-lines that feel like they’re dragging. (For example: Violetta’s voice. One minute it’s fine and the next she’s like dying). For this section I have two words: LOVE TRIANGLES. And I’m not just talking about Violetta, Diego and Leon. For a bit it felt like each character had their own love triangle, which honestly I was loving. These characters have definitely developed a lot from last season, which allows this to happen. Olga was in a love triangle, which just recently got resolved. I think German is still in one because of his alter ego Jeremias. Jackie was “kind of” in one. For her it was more of a misunderstanding, which is very classic on this show. Lots more secrets have been uncovered in these episodes as well as songs! You know how excited I am for those. Overall, I think I’m still enjoying season 1 songs more (which get referenced enough in this season), but some of the season 2 ones are really growing on me. Specifically Leon’s Entre dos mundos and when he sings with Diego Euphoria in English. Also, Yo Soy Asi has been real catchy. I know Frederico will be coming back soon and I can’t wait to see him again!  

HAMILTON

Like many I watched Hamilton this month-actually on the day it came out. It’s been a musical that I’ve been intrigued by, but never thought I’d get a chance to watch because of how popular and expensive it is to see on Broadway. So, I was very excited to hear I’d get the chance when it was to be released in theaters for a special event. Then because of Corona it was released to Disney Plus, which was EVEN more convenient and exciting. I really enjoyed it and watched it twice within the same week. I immediately downloaded the playlist and started singing it around the house. I do this a lot with many of the plays I see, but depending how good they are is shown by how long I listen to the soundtrack. (Some of my top ones are Bandstand, Once, Newsies and Anastasia.) Because there are so many songs in Hamilton it is taking me a little longer to know all the words, but I feel pretty confident with the first act. It was the perfect timing for this to be released on Disney Plus. Not only because it was July 3rd, but also because of the world we are living in. Lin’s diverse cast brings to life the world of 1776 and the revolutionary war (as well as the time after it), but it’s such a strong commentary on our world today. This is something I am continually noticing with historical dramas/pieces being released within the last 5-10 years. It feels like there’s more we can say in this genre than in a commentary piece. I also like all the analysis videos I’ve seen popping up, which just make it even more powerful. (Like it being Eliza’s story and her putting herself back in the narrative. That the play Hamilton is named for both her and Alexander.) I don’t know if all of what I see were intentional, but  either way well done. I hope it doesn’t leave Disney Plus soon. 

1917

And lastly, 1917. I promised quite the range this month and you can see that’s definitely the case. I always enjoy watching war films and with 1917 there was so much hype (both before it came out and after) that I was interested to give it a watch. Giving the movie to my dad for father’s day felt like the perfect excuse to be able to watch it. Even though our DVD stuck in a few places (still don’t know if it was the player or the DVD itself), the film was very entertaining and I would suggest it to anyone who is a history/film buff. Taking place in WWI, we follow two British soldiers as they attempt to deliver a message about an upcoming ambush that could take countless lives. I feel that I often watch more films revolving around WWII, so it was very interesting to be immersed in the first great war. After watching I am not surprised that the film was up for so many Oscars. While cinematography is the first thing everyone discusses when it comes to this movie (and it should be because the one shot/long shot is sooo impressive and beautiful to watch. It really brings you into the scene and has a way of making you feel like you’re there too. There’s a realness to it that’s raw and new compared to other war films I’ve watched in the past), there’s so much more to this film too. First, I like how it connects back to Sam Mendes’ grandfather, so while it’s not a true story it has real facts in it. I LOVE the score and music to this film. In the scene where George Mackay runs at night through those ruined buildings I could really hear how well the music worked with the action. Because of this I made sure to listen to some of the soundtrack and now I’ve added some of the songs into my writing playlist. I have chills just thinking about it. The other point I want to bring up is the cast! While there are SO MANY big names in this film from Colin Firth to Benedict Cumberbatch, the two main characters are played by George Mackay and Dean Charles Chapman and they are the ones with the most screen time. If their chemistry and acting wasn’t so great then the movie wouldn’t be as successful as it is. Because of this I have been watching non-stop YouTube interviews of the two of them for this film. 

They are so well-spoken, stand-up guys and I can’t get enough of their dialogues with each other and others. (You should watch these interviews too). While familiar with Chapman’s time on Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen him in much else, so I’m excited to see what he’ll have in the future (as well as checking out his IMDB page). For Mckay, I’ve seen him before when I just watched Ophelia earlier this summer so that was my first time watching him act. After that film I was curious what else he was in, but it was only after 1917 that I started doing more research. So far, I’ve only been able to watch the short film he was in called Infinite. While only 17 minutes it was very strong and deep. I highly recommend. As I’ve shared on this page already, in another post, the more I hear him talk the more of a crush I am developing. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a celebrity crush this strong so soon. This quarantine has to end so I can make it to England to just casually bump into him like one does. :) 

[365days365movies]

February 6, 2021: Romeo + Juliet (1996)

From the top!

Two households, both alike in dignity In Fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-cross’d lover take their life; Whose misadventured, piteous overthrows Do, with their death, bury their parents’ strife The fearful passage of the death-mark’d love, And the continuance of their parents’ rage Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove, Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage; The which, if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strike to mend.

I mean, c’mon. It’s Shakespeare, I practically had to.

Which is why it may come as a surprise to hear that I think this play is overrated, far too overexposed, and honestly stars two of the most obnoxiously immature protagonists that Shakespeare ever wrote. Which is not to say that I don’t like it, but it is to say that it isn’t my favorite. Which one is my favorite, you ask? Eh, I vacillate between a few, but I might get into it, we’ll see.

Weirdly fitting, though, since this film is directed by a director who also isn’t my favorite. Can’t say I have a definitive favorite director either, but Baz Luhrmann ain’t it. To be fair, I haven’t seen Moulin Rouge (probably should, huh?), but his turn on The Great Gatsby...wasn’t my favorite, I’ll just leave it at that.

And while we’re into it, lemme just address Romeo and Juliet adaptations on film real quick. To be completely transparent, before today...I’ve only seen one adaptation of the play: Franco Zeffirelli’s excellent 1968 turn on it, and it’s a fantastic adaptation at that. Sone of you, however, may now be realizing that, if I’ve only seen one adaptation of the play...there’s an extremely glaring omission to my film repertoire.

Yeaaaaaaaaah...we’ll get there, I promise.

But, of course, the adaptations only scratch the surface of this plays influence. See, the whole point of the rivalry between the Montagues and the Capulets is that it’s SO OLD, that nobody truly remembers why it started in the first place. Because of that, other romance films have sought to supply a reason for that rivalry.

In other words, the two protagonists destined to fall in love often come from two backgrounds, if not families, that class. And, yes, only ONE FILM that I’ve watched this month doesn’t do that. Dirty Dancing and The Notebook make their “ancient grudge” class-based; low-class vs. upper-class. Even You’ve Got Mail makes it about money, although that one’s a little more of a stretch. In any case, versions of this trope have lasted for centuries, and it’s...maybe poisoned romantic cinema? I mean, there’s a reason they all seem similar. They’re all taking from a classic. And, yeah, more of them than you’d think use this formula. I mean...

Hell, if you think about it, both of them are technically dead by the end.

Anyway, jumping right smack dab into the ‘90s, where teen heartthrob of the decade, Leo DiCaprio himself, is cast to play the titular teen boy, and sort-of popular at the time Claire Danes is cast as the titular teen girl. Put them together, and you have a hatred that will last for centuries. Because yeah, they HATED each other apparently. Let’s watch! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

...Look, here’s a quick recap of a story that EVERYBODY KNOWS.

Two families hate each other, and each has a teenage kid; a boy named Romeo and a girl named Juliet. They see each other at a party, they IMMEDIATELY get those teenage hormones a flowing and fall in love at first sight. They talk a few times, then decide to get married. Romeo’s friends say, “Dude, her family’s all dicks,” and Romeo says “naw, dude, she’s hawt,” They hook up, and they get secret-married. But, since they can’t be together in life, and since Juliet’s supposed to marry a whole other dude, Juliet runs to the priest and says, “hey, fake my death real quick?” He gives her a potion, she pretends to be dead, Romeo finds out (after one of his friends is killed by Juliet’s cousin), and runs to her side. Dude then ACTUALLY kills himself with poison, only for Juliet to wake up, see his dead body, and then kill HERSELF with a KNIFE, and then the families find out, and the Prince comes by and just says, “Goddamn, you guys are dicks. So much so that you killed your kids, congrats.” And that’s the end.

Yeah. Two hours of play and movie (nice touch, by the way, Luhrman) compressed into a paragraph. And yet...I’m still gonna recap this movie. Glutton for punishment, I guess. And with that said...

It all starts with a newscaster, speaking the lines of the Prologue in the guise of a newscast, which is...very neat, actually! That’s followed by...Pete Postlethwaite saying the whole thing over again, backed by a hell of a lot of fast cut editing.

...Oh God, it’s a Luhrmann movie. I forgot. Also, uh...really trying to stretch out that runtime to make that 2-hour mark, huh, Bazzie? I admire that you’re trying to stick to that “two hour-stage” quote from the Prologue, really I do...but you had to repeat the Prologue TWICE to do that?

As the lines flash on screen, we’re also introduced to out major players, whom I’ll just introduce as they come up. After a little montage of the movie to come, and a confirmation that the ancient grudge has broken out into a gang war on the streets of Verona Beach (clever), we jump in the car of a few Montagues: Sampson (Jaime Kennedy), Benvolio (Dash Mihok), and Gregory (Zak Orth).

At a gas station, they meet some Capulets, specifically Abra (Vincent Laresca) and a few others. After some thumb-biting, they all draw their swords. Which are guns that have sword written on them. Well, that’s just silly.

This standoff is interrupted by the arrival of another Capulet: Tybalt (John Leguizamo). This, of course, leads to a swordfight (ugh), during which all players are, just...REAL dramatic with their movements, holy shit. In the process, Sampson’s shot (or...stabbed, I dunno), and the gas station explodes.

It’s war in the streets now, as Tybalt and Benvolio are eventually intercepted by Captain Prince (Vondie Curtis-Hall), the chief of police for Verona Beach. He reads out his rage upon the heads of the families. For the Montagues, these heads are Ted (Brian Dennehy) and Caroline (Christina Pickles); and for the Capulets, they’re Fulgencio (Paul Sorvino) and Gloria (Diane Venora). Is...is the grudge taking place because one of them is named “Ted,” and the other is FUCKING “FULGENCIO”? Because that’s one hell of a dichotomy.

Captain Prince lets them all off with a warning (I mean, no, they should ALL be arrested), and Caroline and Ted question the whereabouts of their melodramatic emo son. That son is, of course, Romeo (Leonardo DiCaprio), who laments poetically about how fucked up his family is.

Hanging out at a decrepit carnival (because of course he is), he’s soon found by Benvolio, and he laments on the lack of love between their two families. They bond over talk of women, and decide to secretly go to a party held by the Capulets that night to check out some girls.

Meanwhile, Fulgencio is speaking about this whole mess to Dave Paris (Paul Rudd). D...Dave? Really? We’re keepin’ fuckin’ Benvolio and Balthasar, but we had to name Paris DAVE? Guys, a little consistency with the name shit, PLEASE! Anyway, Dave (uuuuugh) is the governor’s son, and very wealthy, while also being a suitor for Fulgencio’s daughter.

That daughter is, of course, Juliet (Claire Danes), who’s being attended by her vain mother and kindly Nurse (Miriam Margoyles). As her mother’s preparing for the party, she talks up Paris as a suitor, although Juliet doesn’t seem SUPER into it. And s the Nurse tells her to “seek happy nights to happy days,” we go to Sycamore Grove, and to another party.

And this is where we meet my favorite character (everybody’s favorite character, let’s be honest): Mercutio (Harold Perrineau). Mercutio has been invited to the Capulet’s party, and invites Romeo to come along, in disguise. In the process, he gives one of the play’s most famous monologues: Queen Mab’s Speech. It’s truncated here, ad to be frank, Perrineau’s performance is a bit...over the top. But, it ends up to be fairly effective.

Also, Queen Mab is ecstasy. Yeah, that kinda dulled by enthusiasm for the whole enterprise, I ain’t gonna lie. But Romeo lies with Queen La, and they head to the Capulet’s party. And we’re about to hit PEAK LUHRMANN, people.

Look, I’m lame, I’ve never really done drugs, ecstasy included...but it FEELS like I’ve taken something now. And Romeo’s now trying to sober-up a bit. He dunks his head into a sink in the bathroom, and looks at a tropical aquarium that’s in there. And through that aquarium...

However, Juliet’s quickly spirited away by Nurse, and brought to dance with Dave. Romeo, meanwhile, gives his “Did my heart love till now” speech, and DOESN’T SAY THAT SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT??? Seriously, the beginning of that speech is completely deleted. That line, in and of itself, should’ve been left in.

Anyway, Romeo and Juliet speak, and the teenagers kiss...a lot. And yeah, they do kiss in this scene in the ply, but not that much. Immediately afterwards, they discover their family alliances, and Romeo and Mercutio flee the party. Romeo heads back soon after, and, well...you know the line. But soft...

This movie...LOVES water, huh? We see both Romeo and Juliet from underwater at separate points, they see each other for the first time through an aquarium, they’re making out in a pool right now. I mean, I’m sure there’s some symbolism to that, but I’m not sure what it is yet.

Anyway, the two starcross’d lover come just short of crossing stars, and they IMMEDIATELY get engaged to marry.

After a bit of ‘90s music whiplash, we meet Father Laurence (Pete Postlethwaite), a botany-loving priest, and soon-to-be ally to the young couple. Romeo asks Laurence to wed them, despite the fact that Romeo actually was in love with a woman named Rosaline. But, yeah, she’s one of the unseen casualties of this play, only sometimes making it into adaptations. As Romeo speaks to the Priest, I think this is a great time to mention that there is a FUCKTON of Jesus and Christian imagery in this movie. Water and Jesus, goddamn.

The Priest agrees, believing that a marriage between the two could bring peace to Verona Beach at last. We also get a bunch of quick edits showing various parts of the Luhrmann Shakespeare Cinematic Universe, all backed by a choir boy singing “When Doves Cry.” This is an...unusual movie.

It also seems that Tybalt has issued a challenge against Romeo, which Mercutio and Benvolio muse upon. They meet with Romeo on the beach, and as they hang around, their revelry is interrupted by the arrival of the Nurse. She gives him a warning not to fuck with Juliet’s heart, which he says that he won’t, as they’re planning on marrying. She appears to approve, but Mercutio seems not to. Definitely going with a more superficially mercurial take on the character, which fits. But that’ll be more apparent later.

Nurse goes to Juliet, and...OK, is she supposed to be Italian or Hispanic? Because I feel like I’m supposed to be mildly offended, but I don’t even know what she’s going for here. Anyway, the wedding time approaches, and the two get wed in secret. But on the beach, Tybalt has come to go after Romeo. Romeo tries to make amends, even giving up his “sword” to him, much to Mercutio’s anger. Which, uh...he’s not gonna stand for.

And, of course, Mercutio’s fatally stabbed while defending Romeo’s honor. He lays A PLAGUE O’ BOTH THEIR HOUSES, and dies. Romeo’s PISSED, and immediately goes to kill Tybalt. That leads to Romeo’s banishment, although they consummate their marriage before he takes off. Also, Juliet KNOWS that he KILLED HER COUSIN...but it’s Leo, I guess, and...hormones.

Romeo’s banished and goes to Mantua, AKA a trailer park in the middle of the desert. Juliet, meanwhile, is commanded by her father to marry Paris, although she REALLY isn’t into it now! She goes to Laurence and, yeah, threatens to kill him AND herself if he doesn’t have an idea. Hormones, man. They’ll fuck you UP.

Laurence’s solution, of course, is to have Juliet pretend to have killed herself by drinking a potion. No idea why he comes up with this idea, or has the skill to make the potion, but some questions aren’t meant to be asked or answered. He also says to that he’ll send a litter to Romeo, to let him know what the deal is.

Juliet pretends to kill herself, and it interred with her relatives. Meanwhile, Romeo’s cousin Balthasar (Jesse Bradford) comes by the desert, having just gone to Juliet’s funeral, and tells him that Juliet’s dead. And since Romeo never got the goddamn letter, he’s decided, “Well! Guess I’m gonna kill myself.”

He gets some poison, then goes to Juliet’s tomb, which is...decked in neon crosses. I mean, it looks nice, even it’s very, uh...over the top. Goddamn.

And, at this point, you know how this goes. Romeo drinks the poison and dies, Juliet wakes up JUST after, then kills herself as well, and the parents of both parties arrive to see them both dead, along with the Prince, who says “Y’ALL ARE DICKS,” and bounces.

That’s Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet. And it’s a movie. Yeah, that I’ll give you. What did I think? What rating does it get? Well...I’ll elucidate in the Review.

[justherekinda]

In Your Dreams // part 1

Summary: Kelsea thought it would be like every other day at her work. She’d take care of things, work her double shift and then leave. An accident causes an unexpected with a face she only knew through a screen. And boy did she not expect things to go like this. 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1542

California is a wonderful place; after all it is called the land of opportunity, right? That was my thoughts when I first moved out once I finished my degree work in my home state. Although, I did see my life being a tad different than it is currently. I spend about every day and night working in a local animal hospital around the LA area. Rather than doing the partying and random hooking up with celebrities that my young self was convinced would happen. I can’t complain though, I’m doing what I always wanted to be doing with my life and that was helping animals of all shapes and sizes become well again. I didn’t realize that saving one particular dogs life would throw my life through the ringer and make me make choices that seemed only real in books. Hi, my names Kelsea Smith and this is the story of how decisions can come back and bite you in the ass.

It was a normal Thursday evening at the hospital, cats coming in for nail trims and a few scheduled surgeries occurring throughout the day. Keeping me busy, of course, but it wasn’t one of those days that sent nerves running through me, well it wasn’t until I heard the noise erupting in the entrance. Soon enough I was yanked into the surgical wing and was saving the life of a little guy that goes by the name of Ronnie. A small precious boy that had 50% pitbull, 50% chihuahua underlined per the owners request in the file. The receptionist informed me right as I was getting ready to head home that Ronnie had swallowed a squeaker from one of his toys and the X-rays showed it couldn’t pass. In general, the surgery is quite simple but working on such a little guy always made nerves send through me. It was a simple mishap that turned to a very dangerous test of fate that would leave the little guy recovering for a few weeks. Once we had gotten him all stitched up and ready, I finally walked out to meet the owner who had not left since bringing him in. Imagine my surprise of coming face to face with a man whose videos helped fill my free time through college. The moment I heard his voice say, ‘You must be Dr. Smith, is my Ronnie gonna be okay?’, was when I flashed back to the time that I had first heard that voice.

The ranting I have done in private to my friend Rachel about a specific aggravation had helped me but I couldn’t figure out why the pit in my stomach was still there. That’s when I decided to explore on YouTube a bit to try and distract myself from all the drama that was slowly being created on my timeline. I didn’t realize how much it was bothering until I landed on a video that eased the feeling almost instantly. I didn’t stray too far of course from the friend group of his but I did land on a guy named Aryia. Luckily enough, it was his most recent music video for ‘Bad Boy’ and I knew I’d be sucked in from there.

The flashback that occurred in my head ended as fast as it came, and I was back standing in front of this man whose dog I had just saved. “And you must be this happy boys owner and please call me Kelsea, never was a fan of my last name,” the words flowed out with ease, a smile growing across my lips.

His eyes locked with mine, giving a quick glance over my scrub covered body before he held out his hand to shake mine gently. “I’m Aryia, thank you so much for saving my baby.” He said, sincerity clear in his voice.  I handed him the leash over once our handshake ended, not being able to control the flush coming onto my cheeks as our fingers brushed.

“It was a simple procedure that surprisingly we have had to do with a multiple amount of dogs.” I said, a smile coming across my lips as I spoke about the passion I luckily got to have for a job.

“And for Ronnie,” I began, bending down to scratch the sweet boy under the chin gently. “He’s going to be just fine. Gonna need a checkup here in a few weeks but he’s going to make a complete recovery.”

Once those words flowed out of my mouth, I stood back up straight to look at him with a grin. The sight before me was probably one of the cutest I’ve seen in my time working here. Aryia bent down to give Ronnie repeated kisses on the top of his head, making his tail wag even quicker than it already was. Lets just say the scene in front of me made a feeling erupt in my stomach that’s never happened before with my other patients.

That’s when his eyes glanced up at me, the pure joy obvious in his smile before he said swiftly, ‘Thank you so much again Dr… I mean Kelsea, I owe you.”

Puzzlement showed clear on my face, my nose scrunching up as I went to wave my hand again. I was about to go on another tangent about how it was my job before he gave a halfhearted laugh. I watched as he stood up again, his arms crossing over his chest before saying, “And before you say I don’t need to, either way I’m going to.”

I couldn’t help but notice the smirk spreading across his lips as he turned back and walked to the counter to discuss payments I presume.

Right before the two of them walked out the door, I called to them, “Call if you have any questions!” He shot me a thumbs up, adding an extra pep to his step as the doors closed behind him. I thought nothing of my little phrase, considering I said it to all my new patients. I should’ve known better than to assume nothing of it when it came to him. That was until the daily phone calls to the office started coming in from a specific guy asking about his dog Ronnie.

The first few that came in I just let the receptionist handle due to me being with other patients at the time, only hearing the tales of “Is Dr. Kelsea there? Ronnie swallowed a grape will he be alright?” and “Ronnie keeps sneezing a lot, is it possible for dogs to get colds?” Those were only a few of the questions Aryia called with within two weeks time. When the fifth one for that day came in after around a week of hearing the tales of why he was calling I finally personally answered.

“Los Angeles Animal Hospital, this is Dr. Kelsea, how can I help you?” I said, a smug smile coming across my lips as I heard a chuckle from the speaker.

The smirk in this tone was obvious as he said, “You know you’re a hard one to reach, thought I was gunna have to make a trip again.” I glanced around the office area, seeing it mostly being empty due to it being close to closing time. When my eyes finally landed on the receptionist, Ashley, sitting beside me, she had a knowing smirk spread across her lips. The look on her face made a blush spread across my cheeks, clearing my throat slightly as I responded back to him.

“What can I say, I’m a busy one. Now, Aryia am I going to have to report you to PETA for mistreatment of sweet Ronnie or are you gonna ask me for my personal number?” I watched as Ashleys mouth dropped, her fist pumping in the air as I bit back a giggle threatening to slip. I heard a few chuckles from the opposite end before hearing the cockiness start to grow in his voice.

“Well maybe that was my whole plan all along? I just wanted to hear that sweet voice, tragic you kept it from me over two weeks.”

I let out a slight scoff that was soon followed by a slight laugh, shaking my head slightly before I said back, “Dunno if you have my sweet tone and my annoyed tone confused, I guess since you won’t ask,” I said in a sing song voice. ‘I’ll just give the phone back to Ashley, for your, I’m sure, really worrisome question.”

A slight snort was let out from the opposite end, the smile clear in his voice, “Can I pleaseeeee get your number Kelsea, I promise I’ll send tons of pictures of Ronnie as a reward.”

I rolled my eyes slightly, a grin spreading across my lips as I told him my number before quickly adding, “but only because you offered pictures of the sweet boy.”

Laughs echoed from the other end as I went to say my goodbyes to him, only holding for a second as I heard him say, “Wait wait wait!” The urgency in his voice made my place the phone back to my ear, only to hear him say, “PS. I hope you were kidding about reporting me to PETA.”

[josy72]

Noémie Merlant ✨ Intervista ✨

As Portrait of a Lady on Fire arrives in UK cinemas, Claire Marie Healy sits down with the film’s breakout star, Noémie Merlant

February 28, 2020

Lead ImageNoémie is wearing a wool blazer, waistcoat, knitted sleeveless shirt and wool trousers by Louis VuittonPhotography by Alexandre Guirkinger, Styling by Rebecca Perlmutar

“Do all lovers feel like they’re inventing something?” whispers Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) to the woman commissioned to paint her, Marianne (Noémie Merlant), in Céline Sciamma’s queer romance Portrait of a Lady on Fire. The setting is 18th-century France, and the moment is the culmination of a deeply felt mutual attraction between the two women: but the question could equally apply to Sciamma, whose work has always felt like it reaches for a whole new way of telling stories. As she has said herself, “It’s not like you have to scratch your head for hours thinking, ‘How am I not going to objectify this woman?’ It’s not that hard.” And yet, the levels at which her female gaze operates, and invites you in, do feel invented.

While now-romantic partners Haenel and Sciamma have worked together for years – their actor-director relationship began with the poolside coming-of-age tale Water Lilies – the film’s breakout star is Merlant, who plays the painter challenged to paint Héloïse’s wedding portrait for her husband-to-be. This is despite the fact Héloïse refuses to sit for it, as she doesn’t want to get married at all – beginning the process of secret observation and looking, on Marianne’s part, which develops into a charged romance. As Merlant, who has also recently turned her hand to directing, reveals, the remarkable feeling of intimacy with the character – of feeling like we are looking through her eyes, as well as our own – had everything to do with Sciamma’s exacting, precise technique. (And, of course, having less men on the set may have helped.)

Claire Marie Healy: I saw Céline speak at the BFI last year, and she was saying how on set she was very particular about everything that you and Adèle had to do – how it was quite technical.

Noémie Merlant: Yes, everything was on the script. Each look on the screen. But when you have a lot of things that you have to do, that are written, it actually [gives] you a frame and then in this frame you can find your freedom. I know that I have to do a breath, but I have one thousand ways to do a breath, or one thousand ways to look at Adèle. Even the text – we couldn’t change even one word – but when you really know your text well and you don’t think about it anymore, then you’re free again to break it. You forget it. I think it’s like with music, I would say a violinist has to really know the music, and hears it more than one thousand times – at which point when he really knows it, and know all the things that he has to do, and all the technical [elements]... then he just puts life in it and forgets everything! It’s the same.

CMH: It’s the nature of performance really. And I think that there is something in that – perhaps why there’s such amazing performances in this film from you and Adèle, in that you’re depicting a time where there are a lot of restrictions to living for women. It’s interesting that the storyline is women pushing against that and then equally you as actors are pushing against restrictions or breaking through them. I imagine there was a productive tension to that?

NM: It’s a symbol of that period and what we put on women. What they put on a woman. In this movie it was all about our desires in this kind of culture which was really heavy. We become more and more comfortable with our bodies throughout the movie. The dresses (become) less tight, I start to put my hands in my pockets. We were trying to build this relationship, with Adèle, between Marianne and Héloïse – and we didn’t know each other. We didn’t rehearse together [before], so really we were creating the moment. That was a way to show something magical, something [that had] sincerity – because we were creating a collaboration at the same time [that] we were creating the collaboration of Marianne and Héloïse. When you were talking about details – in this movie [Céline] holds back even the music, there is complete silence and then there is this boom of music. So when there is music people really feel it. I think it is the same with the decor.

CMH: The set design in the house is remarkably plain for a ‘costume drama’, or what we might expect of them.

NM: Exactly, the set – in the same way that the way to act is all about holding back. How we don’t smile at the beginning of the movie – because we don’t want to smile – and [then] when we smile in the movie it’s because it’s a real smile, and it’s really sincere. It’s little details: like the smiles become larger, the eyes become more and more open, you feel more and more of the desires and even the way we touch things or (each other), it’s also with more intensity. Working with Céline was really elegant, in every element. I really liked that.

CMH: It definitely builds in that way. To smile is to really open yourself up to someone – it’s vulnerable isn’t it? And it builds to this cathartic moment, when they reveal their attraction – and it’s so modern, suddenly, and you’re so easy with each other.

NM: It was also mainly women on set. There were men on the crew, of course, [but] compared to other sets it was more women than usual.

CMH: How does that compare to other experiences of yours?

NM: Of course it’s different, because we are different when we are with the same sex. There is kind of a natural equality, intimacy, because we of course understand things more quickly but we have the same kind of problems. It was a really intimate movie in and of itself – about women and their intimacy – so it was easier to only be with other women most of the time, because we were talking about that. There’s always this gaze that you feel in the movie, that we create... this sorority. The vision Céline was really creating [was] this environment of kindness and collaboration – it’s really important for her to create this original gaze.

CMH: What work did you do in terms of entering into that historical period? Did you do any research into the female painters that existed in this time?

NM: We talked a lot about this moment in time, where there were about a hundred female painters that were then erased from history. But what was really important for Céline, and then for us, was really to be focused on doing something really modern, actual and sincere. So, it was more the costumes, the text and then the set were what felt like I was putting on the past. But for everything else in terms of preparing for my role, and Adèle for her role also was really more technical. So I did some preparation with Hélène Delmaire, the painter of all the paintings that you see in the movie.

CMH: Ah yes! She seems amazing. I was reading that she wanted to paint for Studio Ghibli as a teenager.

NM: The work with her was interesting! I was observing her a lot before this – it was like dancing. I found that the painter has their own dance in a way: the aim of the painter is that particular look where you concentrate. It’s really profound and deep, and distant at the same time, and so I was trying to catch this gaze. And all the time it’s between the look at the model and the look at the canvas and the gesture, and then three steps back to look at the painting, and repeat. With a painter it’s this kind of twisting back and twisting forward. I was really observing Adèle and she was really observing me.

CMH: There’s a power dynamic, there, and it shifts in very subtle ways.

NM: Yes, and at the beginning of the movie everything is very closed, our smile, our faces, it’s really not alive – but we feel that there is something that is desired somewhere. Even Marianne as a painter, she feels so lucky to be a painter, like she doesn’t have to marry, but she’s still stuck in the rules of this period.

CMH: I guess that’s kind of the gift that Héloïse gives to Marianne – opening her up in that way so she can be vulnerable enough to feel these things, and that gives her this creativity, beyond just talent. It’s wonderfully done. In some ways it’s quite obvious, but why do you think audiences have responded so strongly and fiercely to this film?

NM: I think it’s because firstly it’s a strong love story, built with real sincerity and imagination. Céline is someone who is always trying to find a new way to express things. She thought of something new – and it’s something that we miss, to have this energy to tell a story with only women talking about love. That to me is this original gaze: the respect, with no violence, just [a] really respectful gaze. It’s kind of an invitation, this movie, an invitation to a vision of women as they really are. To me, when I first read it I felt that this movie had something really true – because it just takes the time to be with women, how we are when there are no men, how we talk together. We don’t talk about men all the time.

CMH: Did you have an early memory of film that hit you in a similar way, perhaps a film that really drew you to acting?

NM: The first movie that I saw in the cinema and [had an emotional reaction to] was actually Titanic! When I was nine years old, I was living in a small town and it was hard to see it because the cinema was full every day. After [several] weeks, I found a place to see this movie. I wanted to fall in love.

CMH: I love that.

NM: Céline loves this movie too, so we were talking a lot about it on set. And the scene where we are on the stairs – we were saying, this is our Titanic scene!