#guess who said she'd upload yesterday.......... guess who didn't do it................

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 12 – Road Trip To Embarrass… Who Again?

In which the squad goes to a talk show, wake-up calls go wrong, Neil goes live on national television, shipping goes well, and I go nuts, just a little bit.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

Hey, remember two chapters ago when we were promised some prime Road Trip To Embarrass Kevin time? Well, guess what's fucking happening.

          Wymack warned them last night they’d have an early start today, but there was no way the Foxes could start the season without a small party. (…) The upperclassmen put away most of a bottle of vodka even without Neil and Renee helping them. At the time they all thought it would be worth it. After getting less than an hour of sleep, Neil wasn’t so sure.

Ahahaha, literally me at the time writing this.

6hr bus journey – on which you really need to work – at 9 in the morning? Better stay up till 4 drinking wine!!

Don’t be like me, kids.

Unimportant detail: They stop at a gas station for morning fast food, which I liked because I was literally reading this at a fast food gas station.

Here, Wymack attempts to wake everyone up, and I enjoy the return of my favourite running gag:

           “Hemmick! You were supposed to wake them up ten minutes ago!”

           “I don’t want to die,” Nicky said. (…)

          Wymack went all the way to the last row, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, and threw it at Andrew. Judging by the resounding thud, Andrew woke up as violently as always.

Ahhh yes, nothing like a good ol’ bit of physical violence to greet the day <3

Although: That’s kind of smart, actually. Why did no one else ever think to just throw things at Andrew from a safe no-hit distance?

(Because Wymack is the best, that’s why.)

However apparently, Andrew isn’t the only one with weird sleeping habits:

           Wymack planted his shoe against whatever part of Kevin was closest and started pushing him.

           “Up,” he said over and over, getting louder each time until he was almost shouting. “Get your ass up and moving!”

What follows is an amazing description of a Kevin that just won’t wake up. Like, dude has to run laps down the bus and still almost falls asleep mid-run, putting new meaning into the term running gag.

Also, what level of #iconic and #relatable.

           Wymack smacked the back of his head to wake him up.

          “I hate you,” Kevin said.

           “Breaking news: I don’t care.”

BREAKING NEWS: I DON’T CARE. I have that on a shirt!! It’s part of my modern Grantaire cosplay and I love it to bits. Cue me actually squealing when that happened.

Today on A List of Plot Details That Will Come Back To Bite Me In The Ass At Some Point:

           Kevin dug Andrew’s medicine out of his pocket and handed the bottle over. He and Wymack watched as Andrew tipped a pill into his hand and swallowed it dry. (…)

          Odd, Neil thought, that Kevin would have Andrew’s medicine at all. Kevin had it at Sweetie’s, too.

He’s keeping his medicine for him? Why? The obvious answer would be ‘so he can make sure Andrew takes it’, but I feel like there’s more to it. And why Kevin? Surely Coach or Abby would be the more sensible and responsible candidates. Because they spend the most time together? This is all real shady, you guys.

They arrive at Kathy Ferdinand’s show, and this is where thing get interesting. She comes out to greet them – in the parking lot, might I add, which… the fuck? – and something else comes out as well: Actual traces of charm and positivity in Kevin ‘Stoic and Mighty, All Hail Unto Him’ Day.

           This smile was something else, this was Kevin’s public face. It was meant for interviewers and fans who were better off not knowing the arrogant, ruthless side of a world-class champion. Kevin looked every inch a perfect celebrity. Neil found it horribly disorienting.

And Nicki found it horribly hilarious. I can just imagine Kevin smiling warmly, stance relaxed, a charming eyecandy celeb to everyone, except when you get up real close you can see the actual violent murder in his eyes.

Wonderful.

And now it’s time for this chapter’s ~plot twist~ that ~absolutely no one saw coming~:

           “Did you talk to him?” Kathy asked Kevin.

           “I didn’t think we needed to talk about it,” Kevin said.

           “About what?” Neil asked.

           “I want you on my show this morning,” Kathy said.

Yes. Yes yes yes yes. Did someone say Road Trip To Embarrass Kevin? I feel like this turned into much more of a Road Trip To Embarrass Neil and I am loving it.

This is going to be good.

Also, what the hell is it with Kevin and not telling people about important things? “Oh, by the way we’re going halfway across the state to be on one of the highest-rated talk shows in the nation tomorrow, no biggie you guys”, “Oh, by the way, Neil you’re also going to be on said highest-rated talk show even though I know you’re hiding a shitpile of secrets the size of the Kilimanjaro, yeah no, no need to tell you beforehand you’ll be fine, see me give a shit”.

Neil, of course, has the freak-out of his life, and allows himself a tiny slip-up that will no doubt come back to kick his ass later:

           “It’s not your decision,” Neil said in venomous French. He didn’t realize what he’d done wrong until he felt Wymack’s piercing stare. Andrew’s lot knew Neil spoke French. Neil could explain it to the upperclassmen later and they wouldn’t think twice about it. But Wymack, like Andrew, had also heard Neil speak fluent German.

Oui oui, mon ami, tu as… ah, how you say… fucked up. #languageskillsoutforwymack

However, no Neil freak-out too big for Kevin ‘I Don’t Have Time For Your Teen Angst Bullshit’ Day:

            “You will do this today, or you and I are finished. I will wash my hands of you on the court and you can struggle your way through mediocrity alone. You can return your court keys to Coach when we get back to campus. You won’t need them anymore.”

           It was like getting punched in the chest. “That isn’t fair.”

           “Did you, or did you not promise me that you would try?”

Of course, we can’t say no to that. Love those lil daily doses of Kevin/Neil in between <3

(What’s their ship name? Keil? Nevin? I’m not loving either option.)

Why is he so set on having Neil on that show, though? Just to get him used to being in the public eye because he promises him such a bright future in Exy and knows this is an important part of it? Or is there more to it? Am I reading too much into things again? I’m intrigued.

Ah, I’m sorry, did I say little doses of Kevin/Neil? THINK AGAIN.

           Neil closed his eyes. “Why did you tell the ERC I would make Court?”

           “Because when you stop being impossible and do what I tell you, you will.”

           Andrew hadn’t lied. The articles hadn’t lied. Despite Kevin’s angry words and rude impatience, Kevin believed in Neil’s potential. Kevin wanted to train Neil. He wanted to play with Neil, and he wanted to shape Neil into the star he’d once been. Kevin would never forgive Neil for vanishing on him without warning this fall, and Neil hated that. As complicated as Neil’s obsession with Kevin was, one truth was undeniable: He didn’t want Kevin to hate him.

Hello everyone, I am reporting live from my fucking grave.

GAHHHHHHHHHH. Nothing like a bit of enemies-to-friends trope to get me going.

In other news: Feels over, dicks tucked back into pants, it’s show time!

           Kathy beamed as she slowly paced the front of the stage. “How many of you had the chance to go to the game last night? Oh, wow! How many, like me, watched the game from the comfort of their own home?” She raised her hand and laughed at whatever response she got from the crowd.

This woman is increasingly reminding me of Caesar Flickerman from The Hunger Games.

Just imagine this is how I’m picturing her now at all times, minus the blue hair (probably).

           “Kevin, Kevin, Kevin”, Kathy said, shaking her head in tie to his name. “I still can’t believe I talked you into this. I hope you’ll forgive me when I say it’s surreal to have you back here alone! I still think of you as one half of a whole.”

           “At least I have room to stretch out now,” Kevin said, neatly avoiding a real answer. “I might have to do so in a minute. I can’t believe you expect us to be awake and presentable after last night’s games.”

Is that…… Kevin…….. actually giving charismatic answers……. being an actual human being……. what kind of witchcraft.

I am loving this.

The interview goes on, it’s kind of banal chatter, nothing we didn’t know already, although I am enjoying it tremendously. It’s nice to have a break from all the emo-ing around back home at Palmetto, even if it’s all fake show smiles.

Time for the fakest show smile of them all: Neilly baby!

           “Why don’t we all take another look at him?” Kathy said. “Let’s see the man who replaced Riko Moriyama at Kevin’s side. Introducing Neil Josten, the newest Palmetto Fox!”

Yikes. What an introduction.

           “Isn’t this an interesting picture?” Kathy asked the audience. “Kevin is paired again.”

Seriously, can she stop.

I mean, I get that it’s good for show biz, and I don’t blame her as she doesn’t know their backstory, but rubbing this shit into their faces is still Grade A Shitty™.

They chat a bit more, bla bla sportsball, Kathy Flickerman asking questions and Neil lying through his teeth, although I’m surprised homeboy doesn’t get at least one “I’m fine” in somewhere.

And then – the absolute fuckery that this entire chapter had being leading up to happens.

           “Why the major [district] change?”

           “I don’t presume to understand Coach Moriyama’s motivations.”

           “You mean they didn’t tell you?” Kathy’s surprise looked genuine.

           “We are all very busy. It’s difficult to keep in touch.”

           “Well then.” Kathy recovered with a bright smile. “Have I got a treat for you!”

What.

           Music blared from the speakers, a dark melody with heavy drums. The crowd jumped to its feet and started chanting in unison: “King! King! King!”

What.

           He spotted the Foxes easily, as they were the only unmoving bodies in the crowd. They sat blank-faced with shock.

Same. What.

           The man who stepped onto the stage wore the same outfit Kevin did, save his version was black from head to toe. (…) The number one tattooed on his left cheekbone told everyone who’d just walked onto Kathy’s stage.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY SHITTING ME. I did not see that coming. I did NOT see that coming holy fuck.

(We only have two chapters left. Logically, something had to happen. Still. WHAT THE FUCK.)

           It had been nine months since Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day stood in the same room together, nine months, since Riko destroyed Kevin’s hand, and now they were reunited on national television.

Oh boy. I am sure there is absolutely no way in hell this can go horribly, horribly wrong.

EXCUSE ME WHILE I IMMEDIATELY READ THE NEXT CHAPTER BRB