#guess who has found his red dead redemption videos??

[sherlockig]

every single day all day i am reminded why and how much i love rhys darby

[tehloserprince]

I was tagged by @santacoppelia - thank you! 🥺🧡

1. were you named after anyone? Michael Jordan, ha ha. No, really, my mom's a huge fan. She's followed his career ever since his UNC days. I love telling people that's how I got my name. For the record, although I have an obligatory fondness for my hometown team and a nostalgic love for the Bulls in their Jordan Era, I'm currently a Bucks fan.

2. when was the last time you cried? It's really difficult for me to cry. It's such a relief at times, tho. I cried a few weeks ago, when I realized my special needs dog was having some epilepsy-related issues. I've mostly accepted that I'll probably never see him with a grey muzzle, but I really hope we can share more time together. There are still so many things I want to show him.

3. do you have kids? Nope. Sorta did, once, but I don't really talk about that much. It was a good experience, and I still love/think about her. But my kids are all the critter variety these days ;) I enjoy hanging out with my friends' kids, but they're all growing up too quickly :/ What even is time

4. what sports do you play/have you played? I never really played anything professionally, but I liked soccer, basketball, and running when I was younger. I got into boxing and Muay Thai when I was a little older, and also did a lot of hiking. Unfortunately I'm crippled, so I'm limited in what I can/should do. I try to go on lots of walks with my pup and swim whenever I can. Sometimes I still wrap my hands and hit the bag, which is fun.

5. do you use sarcasm? No, never. (/s obvs)

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? The way they treat other people - especially the most vulnerable - and animals. Physically, eyes and smile. I'm more impressed by people who can be genuinely kind without ulterior motivation.

7. what's your eye color? Hazel.

8. scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood! In terms of scary films, gore feels lazy and boring to me. I need a film to get inside my head in order to be scary. But I'm a sucker for happy endings too, which is a lot of projection on my part, ha ha.

9. any talents? Err. Uh. Writing, I guess? Remembering a lot of random info? Friends are consistently surprised that I'll remember so many little details, especially if it's like ... me surprising them with something they mentioned liking at some point. Funny enough, I'll frequently forget why I walked into a room these days, but I'm glad some parts of my memory still excel! I'm also told that I'm extremely patient, if that counts as a talent.

10. where were you born? Charlotte, NC.

11. what are your hobbies? Writing, reading, watching movies and television shows (mostly with the BFF), random crafts, DIY home improvement stuff (I painted my entire house despite my health worsening over the years and I'm very proud of that), canine behavior/training, and playing video games. I don't have as much time for games, but I still enjoy it. Started a new game of Red Dead Redemption 2 this winter, and I've been spending hours just roaming the land with my horse.

12. do you have any pets? Ha, yes! I do a lot of animal rescue and have some life goals related to that, so hopefully I'll always be surrounded by critters. My beloved dog (Skippyjon) passed away in 2022 (old age and CHF). I had a cockatiel for 21 years - a birthday present when I turned 8. We basically grew up together, and the house is still way too quiet without him. I had other dogs (Smokey and Locke), and a lot of fish. In college, I had an "illegal" hamster, Kai (Kaizoku). He was fat and wonderful. I chose him because he squeezed past his siblings, sat in their food dish, and started shoving food in his mouth. King behavior tbh. I had a rat named Stevie in my late 20s. Currently, I have a deaf special needs dog (Oscar aka Ozzy), a cat that I hand-raised because she was found abandoned shortly after birth (Swayze), and a rabbit (Shasta aka Bad Bunny). At some point, I decided that all my rabbits would be named after soda brands, ha.

13. how tall are you? About 5'10".

14. favorite subject in school? Literature, Spanish, Philosophy, sometimes History, Classical Studies, Art. Anything that wasn't math, because I always struggled with that.

15. dream job? If I could make a living off of writing and spend a lot of my time doing animal rescue, I'd be content. Even if I was wealthy, I'd ultimately pursue a simple, cozy life without a lot of fanfare. I'd love to have more money to invest in animal rescue and local community welfare (kids should always have basic necessities imo). Maybe someday ...

Tagging anyone who feels like doing this! Feel free to reblog or tag me if you wanna let me know that you did it. Thanks, this was fun :3

[edwarddominicemilio]

The Call of Duty Franchise Taught Me More About Politics Than Some of My Teachers

"War does not determine who is right, only who is left." - Bertrand Russell

I will go ahead and say it: the Call of Duty Franchise is my "guilty pleasure". I say "guilty pleasure" because I aspire to be the "pretentious" gamer - one whose game library is full of classics like The Last of Us, Bioshock, and Red Dead Redemption.

But what can I do? I just seem to enjoy these goddamn shooters. As of this writing, I think I have seen most of the best games the franchise has to offer: World at War, the first two Black Ops games, and the original Modern Warfare trilogy. I have played other games in the franchise too but these six are the best.

For what it's worth, No Russian and All Ghillied Up are two of the best missions I have ever played in any video game. Also, Vladimir Makarov and Raul Menendez are two extremely memorable villains - precisely the kinds of villains I feared.

It's not like the Call of Duty franchise is bereft of any value, though. After all, how come Jacob Geller produced not one but TWO full length videos on the topic? And politico-legal ones at that!

I believe that the goal of art is empathy and I have been taught A LOT of empathy by these games. I was in an utter shock when I was forced to kill civilians in Modern Warfare 2's No Russian. I almost cried in rage when I was tricked into killing Alex Mason in Black Ops 2's Suffer With Me. I learned to love Woods, Hudson, Bowman, Weaver, Reznov, Ghost, Roach, Yuri, and of course Captain Price.

But more than empathy, the seemingly mindless shooters could actually teach one something deep if only one is smart enough to look for the lesson himself. Makarov and Menendez both have their motives. So did Shepard and Zhakaev. It's either revenge or a reactionary political ideology.

That's it. That's how wars start. Someone gets hurt and unleashes all of his pain into the world. Shepard lost his men in a nuclear explosion, Menendez his family in a US attack. They turn into shit and start raining hellfire across the world. Obviously, they are not right. Makarov's and Zhakaev's reactionary desire to restore the glory days of the Soviet Union cannot and will not justify instigating the Third World War.

But as I delve deeper, there arises another factor: greed. Conflicts start when the US would invade other countries, as is recounted in the failed assassination of Fidel Castro in Black Ops or the attack on Menendez's family in Black Ops 2. Zhakaev and Shepard are both motivated by greed for glory, the former seeking the glory of the Motherland and the latter personal gain.

I mean, can I blame them? Victory, especially the straight-man-testosterone-filled kind, does feel glorious. I remember telling everyone in the office how manly it feels to attend hearings in Barotac Viejo because I am surrounded by people accused of doing heinous crimes. It is wrong to feel that way because the law is not a joke but I sometimes cannot help it. It just feels...good to save people I guess?

That's why perhaps the still images that are ingrained in my brain are: first, Dmitri Petrenko planting the Soviet flag over the Reichstag in World at War and second, Captain Price smoking his cigar in front of Makarov's hanging body in Modern Warfare 3.

I just found out that the final scene of World at War is inspired by a real photograph whose origins are as muddy as the fight that prefigured it. There no heroes in a war, I guess.

Victory, that's what a man seeks, is it not? That's what all nations seek. We all have different versions of victory, we just need to find the one that aligns best with our values.

Fuck it, I love Call of Duty. It makes me feel like a man. Now, let's smoke some cigars.

[hetakiba]

☕ Feelings on Casca, and feelings on your favourite (or just one of your favourites if you can't decide) video game

Hello! Thank you for this ask in specifc, I'm gonna have a lotta fun with it

Casca... Generically, I would say, I love her. More specifically, I'd say 🤔 I was throughout reading berserk constantly dubious of her writing, for one, like in general, I'm not a fan of one main female character who happens to be in love or fall in love with the one or multiple male leads, and obviously a lotta of the post eclipse stuff is difficult to handle with finesse, but I'd say that mostly her reasons or characterization around her feelings for griffith and to a lesser extent later guts is (mostly) pretty well written. It makes sense, and it doesn't really interfere with her too much as a character or as a person within the world, and I still found her writing outside of some of her interactions with guts to be fine. I also have never let a dude writing a woman in a bad or 🤔 stereotyped? Sexist? Way? Prevent me from liking them anyways. Casca's always had great potential to me from the start, and I would've liked to see more of her moving away from her crush/es on the other characters and grow into herself more before the eclipse or to see more of her development after. And of course, her relationship with farnese is of interest to me, and I kinda loved the potential their dynamic and differences in character set up, especially as a contrast to her early dynamic with guts/griffith and as the two late game primary women characters.

On video games ohh man, so hard to pick 🤔 I'll talk about a few!

Starting with Alan Wake! Mystery kind of twilight zone inspired light light horror, and one of my favorites from when I was much younger. For me, this game is great because it has a lot kind of. Going on in the background? But it's all so understated, it never really slaps you with it or confuses you by throwing too much out at once. It also absolutely doesn't feel the need to explain itself or just about anything that happens, but it still manages to avoid being confusing or pretentious, at least I think. Also the protag Alan, (such a lame name...) is like. He's just kinda. Annoying? Almost bordering on I guess diva-ish? And it's a joy, first of all, to have an unlikeable protagonist but also specifically to me because he's not like. A murderer or something big and dark and extra, he's just insecure and acts kinda small, and without spoilers, I think he maintains what little charm that initial premise offers while also growing more understanding of himself and the way he effects others by the end of the game, especially the dlcs which I'd say I almost preferred to the main game. Also it's just super underrated and the sequel is being made after like ten years so!!!

Honorable mentions include Outlast (horror, I've probably watched it 1000 times, deceptively deep lore, doesn't shy away from dark content but also doesn't make unrealistic unsympathetic monsters out of it's villains, dlc is also bomb), Resident evil 4 (from watching my brother play it also a billion times, cheesy man but so fun, and somehow, doesn't get boring after 50 times), and 🤔 Until Dawn! Pretty much the first game I ever played through more than once, still replay it yearly! Story was kinda shocking the first time I saw it, and just kinda aged well, plenty of unlikable characters and a few even likable ones too! Studio continues to make the branching path decision stuff with major variation in quality and impact of decisions, but you know what? I play them all so

Not horror mention goes to red dead redemption 2, truly, out of all of these, definitely the best writing, definitely the best narrative arc for the main character, Arthur Morgan is. A man I will never forget, I related to him and his struggle so much and there's just a ton to unload in this game, beautiful graphics too

Kind of long but 😭 thank you for the ask! I definitely don't get to talk about video games enough man 😊 if you have any favs let me know too!!

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Ch. 70-76

I guess anything I say here is a spoiler, so yeah, this is “Heart of Dreams”, “Relics”, “Heart of Iron”, and the arc “Finest Hour”.  Oh, and “Lunatic Dawn”.   Gotta lotta ground to cover.    Treacherous ground.

Not a whole lot to say about Anderson’s death.  He tried to become a monster using one of the Holy Nails from the True Cross, and then Alucard defeated him anyway, once Seras gave him a little help and a reason to go on living.   Alucard was pretty upset about Anderson’s demise, but Anderson says a few soothing words, and reminds him that Al only became a vampire because he couldn’t stand being a human, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense for him to cry now.  

So yeah, as determined as Anderson was to kill Alucard, he’s a pretty good sport about losing this fight, and he seems to genuinely pity the man.   He wonders how long Alucard will go on living with his regrets, and Al replies “Until my expansive future shatters my expansive past.”  So, if we want to take that literally, I guess he’s trying to find redemption by being a good guy to make up for his years as a bad guy.   Well, he’s been a vampire for 523 years, and a servant of Hellsing for 101 of those years, so I guess maybe he figures if he trucks along for another 321 years that’d balance the scales?  

And maybe I’m finally starting to appreciate some of the complexities of Alucard’s character.   The Team Four Star Abridged series spent some time on his desire for redemption, but I couldn’t tell if it was based on the original material or something they came up with for their own version.   For instance, the Abridged!Alucard rejected the forgiveness offered by God himself, but later Anderson spoke of his desire for redemption and Alucard didn’t dispute that.    It seemed contradictory to me at the time, but the manga does seem to support that.    As Vlad Tepes, he refused to ask God for anything, preferring instead to fight and drive himself and his followers to the limits of endurance and decency as proof of their faith.   

I find that idea heretical, because it suggests that a person can “earn” God’s favor, or God’s forgiveness, or a place in heaven.    Arguably, Anderson tried to do the same thing, but I think he was coming more from a place of doing zealous deeds out of gratitude for the Lord’s grace, rather than trying to earn anything he didn’t already have.  

The difference with Alucard is that he seemed to be really wrongheaded about his faith, trying to use violence to become a good person.   Then it didn’t work, and he became a vampire, devoted entirely to his own selfish desires, and I guess he’s spent the 20th Century realizing that he’s back where he started, trying to fight his way to redemption, only now he has centuries of red in his ledger instead of mere decades.   

Oh, anyway, while this is going on, Integra takes a sword and stands it upright so it looks like a cross to mark Anderson’s death.   It’s like this quiet sign of respect.   I’m not sure whose sword that is, but it looks like the one Alucard was using in his Dracula persona.   

Anyway, fuck all that, because Walter finally shows up and stomps the ashes of Anderson just as everyone was having their final farewell with the guy.  Rude.

Young Walter just looks kind of stupid to me.  Why is he still wearing the monocle?  He’s trying to be 14 and 69 at the same time and failing at both.

Seras asks what Millennium did to him, but Walter makes it clear that this isn’t some brainwashing trope.   He’s doing this of his own free will.

He also doesn’t consider himself loyal to Millennium.    They turned him into a vampire, but he’s doing this for himself, and he’s only cooperating with them because their goals are in alignment.  

Yumiko Takagi tries to kill Walter for... Was she mad at him for stomping on Anderson’s remains?    I mean, Alucard’s the one who actually killed Anderson, so shouldn’t she be mad at that guy? 

It doesn’t matter, because Walt just slices her into pieces with his magic filaments.    Now Heinkel Wolfe wants revenge, because she was her long-time partner in assassin stuff.   The TFS Abridged series implied that they were lovers, too, which seemed authentic at the time, but I’m not sure there’s any confirmation to be found in the manga itself. 

But before she can take the shot, the Captain shows up and shoots Heinkel in the face.    Like, through one cheek  and out the other, and the only thing saving her from serious injury was that she happened to have her mouth open at the time.  

Side note: I caught myself referring to Heinkel as “him”, which frustrates me because I’ve known she was a woman for like five years now.    When I first watched the OVA, I was confused, becuase I could tell it was a female voice actor, but maybe that just meant he was really young, like with Schrodinger.   But the Hellsing Wiki set me straight, or so I thought.    I didn’t think I’d still be making this mistake. 

On the other hand, Yumiko sometimes looks a lot like Goemon from Lupin III, so her wearing a nun’s habit isn’t as heteronormative as it might seem.  I’m getting off-track.

You’d think this would be leading up to some big double-team on the Hellsing group, now that the Iscariots are out of the picture, but the Captain’s only stopping Heinkel so Walter can have a clear shot at Alucard.    That’s the sole reason Walter turned traitor, you see.   He wants to fight Alucard and win, and for the last 55 years they’ve been on the same side.  

But is that all it is?   I never got to read or watch “Hellsing: The Dawn”, the prequel manga Kouta Hirano created after Hellsing.  I’ve heard that it never got finished, but also an anime adaptation was released with the home video release of Hellsing Ultimate Episode VIII.  All I really know about it was that there was this time where Alucard and Walter were fighting the Nazis, and the Captain showed up, and Alucard ran away because he didn’t think he could beat that dude. Presumably, he left Walter to fend for himself?   But all three of them survived until 1999, so I’m not sure what the outcome of that was.   I always wondered if Walter held a grudge over that.   But maybe I’m reaching. 

There’s also a suggestion of professional jealousy.  Walter was a rockstar vampire hunter in his youth, but he’s been overshadowed by Alucard, who is--let’s face it-- a living legend.  This would be doubly true in the 90′s, when Integra reawakened Alucard, and Walter having to step back even further from the spotlight.  The only way for him to reclaim his former glory would be to challenge the greatest of all vampires and win.    He’d go down in history as a traitor, but at least he’d be cemented as the absolute best.  

Or... or, you can go with the TFS version, where Walter hints at his motives, only for Alucard to take the wind out of his sails and announce “because you wanna fuck me!”   And I love that theory more than any other explanation, because it just brings everything together a lot more neatly.   I guess you don’t need Walter to have had a crush on Alucard for 55 years, but it’s a lot more compelling than revenge or professional jealousy.    Those things have weight, sure, but they work better as distractions, the things Walter might admit to because they hide the deeper reason that he can’t bring himself to say out loud.   

And it’s not entirely rejected by the manga.  Alucard remarks on how much more beautiful Walter looked in his old age, compared to this treasonous knockoff vampire look he’s sporting now.   The last time he spoke this way, it was when he flirted with Queen Elizabeth II.   The next time he does it, it’ll be with Sir Integra when she’s in her early 50′s.

Speaking of QE2, she’s safe and sound, because the Secret Service evacuated her to a fortified location in Dover before Millennium attacked.   If things get really hairy, they’re prepared to send her to Canada, and if London can’t be secured, they’ll nuke the whole city, though the Queen is certain that Integra and Alucard will win the day.  The vampires acting as Millennium agents outside of London are being contained and destroyed, so things seem to be getting under some semblance of control.  

However, the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, also known as the “Round Table” is down to just three surviving members.   Integra’s in London, but here we have Rob Walsh and Hugh Irons, reflecting on the death of their fellow Round Tabler, Penwood.  

This whole scene struck me as a complete non sequitur when I first saw it in the anime.  Walter’s betrayal seemed to sudden and poorly explained that it felt like the author was just winging it by this point, and now we have these two dudes struggling to provide some justification for the twist.    But reading this manga in 2021, I find that it makes a lot more sense.    We’ve already seen tons of Britons in rather lofty positions, all willing to sell out their principles for a chance to become a vampire.   Walter is no different from any of them.   It’s just more personal when he does it because we actually know the guy.  

But as Walsh discusses the utter debacle of this Millennium invasion, he deduces what we’ve just learned back in London.   There must have been a traitor in their ranks, because that’s the only way Millennium could have made it this far.   I mean, they just flew a bunch of giant blimps full of rockets right into British airspace.   That only worked because they had traitors sabotaging the U.K.’s defenses and communications, and Hellsing was especially vulnerable at the same time.  

The only thing Walsh can’t figure out is who the traitor was, since it had to be someone at the Round Table, but they’re all dead now, except for Integra, Irons, and himself. 

But Irons fills in the missing pieces.   It doesn’t have to have been one of the Round Table’s members, but someone close to one of the members.   Years ago, Irons warned Walter about Richard Hellsing.   Irons knew that when Arthur died, Richard would try to make a play for the Hellsing estate.   But when Irons’ fears came to pass, Walter wasn’t there.   It’s like he wanted things to play out the way they did.  

But why would Walter want events to play out that way?   On her own, Integra had no choice but to unseal Alucard to defend herself, and she’s kept Alucard active ever since.   And now, lo and behold, Walter reveals that he turned traitor just so he could take on Alucard.   It’s like he arranged for all of this to happen years in advance.   But how many years?    Fifty-five, Irons wonders.   

It’s never explicitly confirmed, but Irons’ reasoning makes too much sense to ignore.    Earlier, the Major said that he decided back in ‘44 that Walter “Angel of Death” Dornez would have been a good “get” for his side.    Now, Irons is suggesting that Walter might have agreed in the same year.   So maybe Walter and the Major made a secret agreement even then.   It’s possible that they might have done it later, but why not in 1944?

I mean, the whole backstory here is that Millennium is a continuation of a secret Nazi Vampire project that Walter and Alucard destroyed in 1944.   Except they didn’t destroy it at all, which sure makes Walter and Al seem very bad at their jobs, unless Walter let them escape and covered it up.

Meanwhile, the Captain tosses a first aid kit to Heinkel, kind of like he’s saying that he doesn’t want to kill Heinkel, but he can’t let her interfere either.   We’ll talk about the Captain later.

As for Alucard vs. Walter, Al wants to check with Integra before he goes through with it.   He asks for orders, repeating his big speech from when he killed all those cops in Brazil.    Yeah, Walter’s a traitor, but he’s been a close mentor and advisor to Integra for all these years.   Does she really want Alucard to killerize his ass?

Yes, she does.   If Walter stands against them, then he’s the enemy, and Integra has already ordered Alucard to destroy the enemy, no matter who (snif!) they may be.  Integra doesn’t relish this command, but she refuses to compromise over sentimental feelings.

Man, fuck you, Walter.  

Then the Major lands his airship near the battlefield and invites Integra to come aboard and fight all of his remaining guys.    Alucard orders Seras to join her while he deals with Walter.   I can appreciate Seras’ concern here, because the last time she watched Alucard fight alone, he took a flaming bayonet to the face.   She probably doesn’t care for Integra and Alucard splitting up like this.

Before she goes, she thanks Walter for all of his support, which disarms Walter for just a moment.   Man, fuck you, Walter.   Seras is so nice and grateful and polite and cool and you just go right ahead with your 55-years-in-the-making Nazi Vampire Jilted Lover scheme.  Fuck you, Walter.   You don’t deserve to be in Seras’ life.

So the gals go on board the airship and Schrodinger’s there and Integra just shoots him right between the eyes without bothering to slow down.    This is maybe my favorite Integra moment in this thing.    I sort of wish Kouta Hirano had done a spin-off of Integra and Seras doing cool shit like this for 30 years.

Alucard taunts Walter with the fact that he no longer gets to be a part of Inegra or Seras’ lives anymore.   It sounds kind of petty, but when you think about it, it’s a pretty sick burn.    Walter may have been planning this for 55 years, but he still had to live that double life, and it’s not like he can just say he was faking it the entire time.  

So they fight.   Walter’s magic wire powers seem to be amplified, either because of his restored youth or maybe the boost offered by vampire powers, or maybe he’s always been this strong but now he no longer needs to hold back anymore.  For instance, he can make mesh screens with his wires to deflect Alucard’s bullets.   And when Alucard summons that dog creature he used to dispatch Luke Valentine....

... Walter just bisects it with a flick of the wrist.   You really begin to see why he was “The Angel of Death” back in his heyday.  

I never understood what this dog familiar was supposed to be.   Walter refers to the Hound of the Baskervilles, but as far as I know that’s just a legend confined to the Sherlock Holmes novel of the same name.   But apparently that concept was based upon “black dog” folklore of the same region.  There’s a whole laundry list of “black dog” apparitions in Britain alone.   Black Shuck, Padfoot, Hairy Jack, Bizarro Snoopy, and so on.   So I’m not sure if Hirano is saying that Alucard was the source of these legends, or if they were all based on a single creature which Alucard eventually defeated and absorbed into himself.   

Al tries to use the Jackal to kill Walter, but that’s kind of stupid, since Walter designed the gun in the first place.   In the anime, I thought Walter somehow triggered a bomb he had planted inside it, but maybe he used his wires to make this happen.   It doesn’t really matter, because we already saw that the Casull was useless against Walter’s defenses, and not because it had smaller ammunition.  

Then Luke Valentine emerges from the black dog’s body.   This part never made any sense to me, but I loved how the Major recognized him, but barely.  “Oh yeah, it’s that guy from Volume 2!    The guy with the brother.”

The doctor suggests that when the dog was killed, this allowed Luke to reassert himself from inside the dog.   Something about a “control ratio”, whatever that is.  Like, he was absorbed into the dog’s mass, but now that the dog is no longer conscious, he can think for himself again.    Notably, only half of Luke actually makes it out .   It’s like he’s half-Luke, half dead dog monster. 

But before he can do anything else, Walter puts his wires into Luke and starts controlling him like a puppet, mostly so he can use the dog half to attack Alucard.

Alucard seems more impressed than threatened.   Keep in mind, Walter was doing pretty damn well against him early on.   You’ll notice Alucard’s missing his right arm along with one of his guns.   This is better than Anderson managed to do.   So why does Walter even need this Luke-dog puppet thing in the first place?

Well, it’s because Walter’s body is giving out on him.   Earlier, when the Doctor was performing the procedure to turn Walter into a vampire, he spoke about how rushed the operation was.  I mean, he had to finish the whole thing in one night, after all.   And Walter’s a lot more powerful than Dandyman, whom the Doctor considered his finest artificial vampire work.    So maybe Walter’s just too powerful for this, and he can’t sustain this form.   The Luke-dog-thing is just to keep Alucard busy while he coughs up blood.

The Major sees this development, and likens Walter to a high stakes gambler who’s mortgaged everything for a single hand at a high stakes table.   Walter’s risked everything just to tangle with Alucard, and it still isn’t enough.

Alucard does manage to finish off the dog-Luke thing, and this sets him up for Walter’s next attack, and then he goes to finish him off, so things seem to be going Walter’s way...

But Alucard used a decoy, disguising Luke’s severed torso as his own, all so he could sucker-punch Walter in the face.   As it turns out, Walter’s physical breakdown is making him younger, which amuses Al to no end.

So Alucard follow suits and assumes the form he once used when they fought the Nazis in 1944.   Yeah, say hello to “Girlycard”.   I’m not sure why Alucard looked like a 14-year-old girl during World War II.   I’ve heard this form described as a Japanese 14-year-old girl, and I can’t dispute it, but it also makes Girlycard seem even more random somehow.   

I mean, I guess the idea here was for Walter and Alucard to be able to move inconspicuously through enemy territory.  No one would suspect a couple of kids until it was too late.   I’m imagining a similar scenario to the ones presented in “Cross Fire”.   Heinkel and Yumi would play innocent bystanders, then whip out their guns and swords and go ham on the bad guys.    Knowing Hirano’s style, maybe Girlycard and Young Walter operated the same way.  

And this further supports the Walter-had-an-unrequited-crush-on-Alucard theory.   He might have understood that Girlycard was a disguise.  On an intellectual level he might have known, but maybe he still carried a torch, and told himself that there was some way that they could be together.   Was he just in love with this disguise, or does he love the real thing?  Alucard says that he told Walter the truth decades ago, and claims that this is the reason Walter turned traitor, so yeah, it sure feels like Walter couldn’t handle Alucard’s true nature, one way or another.   

I mean, let’s assume that this isn’t just about Alucard not being a cute girl.  Maybe Walter fell in love with Alucard in all his forms, whatever that means for his sexuality.    The bigger issue is that Alucard’s a vampire, and he’s just fundamentally different from Walter, and maybe that was the problem all along.   It’s interesting to think about, but the point here would be that there was some kind of problem, and Walter couldn’t let it go.

Meanwhile, Seras and Integra are busy looking like total BMFs.   Just HBIC’s.   What’s better than this?   Two gals bein’ pals.   

Hell yeah!

Bad ass!

The vampires on board this airship are happy to meet their doom, and Integra recalls what her father once told her about how vampires want to die on their own terms.   Seras doesn’t get it, because if they want to die so badly, they could have just died in the war they were already in fifty-odd years ago.  

So the Major gets on the PA system and explains to her that they want more than just a glorious death.   They want bigger, better, more perfect battlefield, so as to make their deaths as meaningful as possible.  That’s why I don’t understand that airship captain from a while back.   Everyone else in Millennium seemed to understand that they weren’t necessarily fighting to win.   Britain is prepared to nuke London if they have to, so it’s hard to imagine anyone in Millennium surviving past today, even if they won.  

Anyway, as the Major explains all of this, the Captain appears before the gals.  It looks like he’s here to stop them, or is he?

[komkommertijd]

F1 2020 Grid as German rap songs

Since the 2020 season has come to an end, I thought it might be a good idea to finally share this thing that I’ve been working on since June. I have no idea as to why or how I had this idea, but I’m sure I’m not the first one to do this, anyway. I’m sorry to all my fellow Germans in advance <3

Disclaimer: I translated all of the lyrics myself so some things might not be completely accurate, for which I can only apologize. I do not agree with the way some rappers portray women, so I made sure to steer clear from those lyrics.

(post under the cut because it got kinda very long whoops)

Lewis - Vintage (RIN)

Oh Lord, wo soll das Ganze enden? Fahr' so schnell, ich wechsel' jede Woche Bremsen

[Oh Lord, where is this supposed to end? Driving so fast, I’m changing brakes every week]

It’s a song about being a champion, living a luxury life, nice clothes, and well...driving fast cars. Any more questions? Rin is one of my favorite German rap artists, so I just had to include his songs, and this one makes you feel like a real badass, just like our king Lewis 😌

Valtteri - In meinem Benz (AK Ausserkontrolle, Bonez MC)

Du siehst mich im Benz sitzen, so wie Lewis Hamilton

[You see me sitting in a Benz, just like Lewis Hamilton]

It’s kind of obvious why I chose that song, right? Other than that specific line there are some more parts about how much the rapper apparently loves his Mercedes and this song just screamed Valtteri to me.

Charles - NENENE (Fero47)

Sitze bald in roten Ferrari Geben Gas in der Hood Ruf' ich danach, "C'est la vie!"

[I’ll soon sit in a red Ferrari Rev up in my hood Shouting “C’est la vie!” afterward]

Ignoring the entire part about Monte Carlo and all the French words, this specific part just always reminds me of Charles when I listen to the song. More badass vibes but less seriously so because I can’t take Fero’s voice that serious at all, which fits Charles.

Sebastian - Ferrari (Eno, MERO)

Roter Ferrari Ich gebe Gas in einem Ferrari Roter Ferrari Yeah, ich sitze tief in einem Ferrari

[Red Ferrari I rev up in a red Ferrari Red Ferrari Yeah, I’m sitting deep inside a Ferrari]

There’s a part about “rolling with [a] bro in a white Mercedes” and my brain said Sewis rights. Other than that, this is once again a rather obvious choice, if not all that up to date anymore. Some lines about racing on the German highway, so of course I had to go for Sebastian with this one.

Max - Fame (Apache207)

Die Rapszene ist nur ein Affenzirkus In dem kleine Kinder gern mit Waffen hantieren Ich steh', wo ich steh', weil ich bin, wer ich bin Und nicht weil hier irgendjemand Apache platziert

[The rap scene is a madhouse Where little kids like to make use of guns I stand where I stand because I am who I am And not because someone places Apache]

This simply gives me Max vibes, I don’t have much more to say as an explanation. It just feels right, with criticism towards mentally “weaker” individuals and the confidence in making a name for oneself based on own achievements and hard work. Also, Apache has become a rather popular musician in the past year(s) (especially to obnoxious 5th graders, all tea no shade), which is just...Max, I won’t elaborate.

Alex - HONDA (Ansu)

Hold on, kommt was Schnell – Konter Dreamer, besonders – Willy Wonka Auto – Honda

[Hold on, there’s something coming Fast - Counterattack Dreamer, special - Willy Wonka Car - Honda]

I mean, it’s a song about a Honda driver? I struggled quite a bit with finding a song for Alex, but when I first listened to this song, my mind threw his name at me in blinking neon letters, so this is the vibe we’re going with - a funky fast Honda driver <3 (PS: I have no clue what the Willy Wonka thing is about but....why not)

Carlos - Habibi (Casar)

Sie schreibt: "Habibi", denn sie vermisst mich Ich fahre weit davon mit mein'n Hermanos

[She texts me “Habibi” because she misses me I drive far away with my hermanos]

I can only listen to the word “hermanos” so many times without my mind associating it with Carlos, so this one was a rather obvious choice for me as well. Also, there are some parts about Spain in this song so I had to be lame and do the obvious with this one.

Lando - 500 PS (Bonez MC, RAF Camora)

Ich drück' aufs Gas, hör' die 500 PS Fahren durch die Stadt, GTA Los Angeles

[I step on the gas, hear the 500 HP Cruising through the city, GTA Los Angeles]

This one’s a solid mainstream German rap song (not that I’d call Lando a mainstream person), liked to some extent by most people, and it gets you moving, which reminds me a lot of Lando. Cars and mentions of a video game make for a hit and Lando unites just that in person as well.

Daniel - Emotions 2.0 (Ufo361, Céline)

Baby, nimm einen Schluck Dom P. für die Emotions Ich erhöhe deine Dosis So viel Schmuck Mehr Drip als ein Ocean

[Baby take a sip Dom P for the emotions I’m increasing your dosage So much jewelry More drip than an ocean]

A bittersweet love song with rich boy summer vibes and one of my favorite German songs to be released this year, in fact, it’s my most listened to song on my phone, make for a combination that just screams Daniel to me. This song hits different when driving into the sunset in a fancy car or when biking through town at 1:30 am on three cans of Red Bull (believe me, I tried), and always reminds me of better times. It’s the ideal song to sing and rap along to, so that matches Daniel just fine.

Esteban - Einsneunzig (Brown-Eyes White Boy)

Bin fast einsneunzig, stell' mich auf die Bündel, das' ein Weltrekord Lass' die Zeit Revue passier'n, selbe Jungs und selber Ort

[I’m almost 1.90, stand on a wad of cash, that’s a world record Let’s recall the past, same guys and same place]

1.90 meters as a reference to Esteban’s height, obviously, simply made sense to me, once again. The second line reminds me of his feud with Pierre, so I had to choose this song. It’s better than Ratten im Hof (rats in the yard), and this reminds me of a wannabe gangster, which just screams Esteban to me, I’m sorry <3

Pierre - DAS RENNEN (RIN)

Ich hoff', eines Tages, wir gewinn'n das Rennen Wie bei Red Dead Redemption Irgendwann der Letzte wie Shanks Spinner Rims glänzen

[I hope one day we win the race Just like in Red Dead Redemption One day the last like Shanks Spinner rims are shining]

I know no one will believe this story but I started working on this post like half a year ago and I chose that song for Pierre back then and uhm, manifestation worked, I guess? Once again, I’m a big fan of Rin’s music, so choosing this song for Pierre is a bit like selfcare. The lyrics mention changing the world and well, so far Pierre has as least changed my world 😌

Daniil - One Night Stand (Capital Bra)

Ty moja ljubimaja Takaja diwnaja, krasiwaja-ja Sprawjedliwaja, njepobjedimaja Ty moja-ja, Baby, ty moja-ja

[You are my darling Such a wondeful, beauty Fair, invincible You’re mine baby, you’re mine]

I really hope I got that translation more or less right but other than that, I didn’t simply choose that song based on the Russian part. It’s a song we used to listen to a lot a few years ago and one of those from the days where Capital Bra was famous but less so than he is today. It reminds me of simpler times and it’s a pretty vibey song that, if you allow it to, draws you in and makes you dance. I have a soft spot for Daniil and the song reminds me a bit of him.

Lance - Bronx (Veysel)

Du musst doppelt zahlen, deshalb krieg' ich es umsonst Audemars, Yves Saint Laurent, eine Villa irgendwo Audemars, Yves Saint Laurent, ein paar Villen irgendwo

[You have to pay double that’s why I get it for free Audemars, Yves Saint Laurent, a mansion somewhere Audemars, Yves Saint Laurent, a few mansions somewhere]

This is a song that you have to listen to on high volume in a fast car, one that once again has really badass vibes. It’s nice to rap along to and hard not to move to. The rich boy vibes in the chorus that I’ve included in this post are pretty inevitable and logically, I had to associate that with Lance. When I turn this song on, everyone enjoys it, and I think Lance deserves to evoke that emotion in everyone as well.

Sergio - AVENTADOR (Dardan, Eno, Noah)

Roll' im Aventador Ich fahr' grad vor Gebe Gas, sag': "¡Adiós!"

[Roll in an Aventador I hit the road Step on the gas, say “¡Adiós!”]

I mean yeah, I could have chosen that song only because of the Adiós but that’s a bit lame even for me. Instead, the entire fast car vibe reminded me a lot of Checo. I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for him and this year he once again showed people ([coughs] my brother) that he’s been severely underestimated. So stepping on the gas and outpacing everyone else felt like the right vibe.

Kimi - Sorry Not Sorry (Monet192, Takt32, badmómzjay)

Was du für Karriere machst, mach' ich als Hobby Was du für Probleme hast, interessiert keinen

[What you made your career, I do as a hobby What problems you have, no one cares]

The title itself embodies Kimi and so does the entire song. The not giving a shit vibe, paired with the mention of the hobby thing as an indirect reference to the famous Kimi quote about seeing his job more as a hobby, are just 100% Kimi. I really couldn’t have found a better song for him. 

Antonio - Maserati (RAF Camora)

Capo dei capi Trip noch im Alfa, doch bald Maserati

[Capo dei capi Trip still in an Alfa but soon in a Maserati]

I did very much not choose the song because “capo dei capi” (the boss of bosses) is a mafia related thing, but because of the Alfa part, duh. Roadtrips in an Alfa along the Adriatic coast are cool and all but a Maserati is obviously the main goal, and that reminds me of Antonio quite a lot ~for some reason~. The entire part about making it far in life without a “serious” job is just very F1, so the vibes are there. Happy very belated birthday Toni <3

Romain - HOCH (CRO)

Alles holt dich down, lass es einfach los Und die Dinge unter dir sind gar nicht mehr so groß Ich schau' nach oben und auf einmal geht's hoch

[Everything drags you down, just let it go And the things below you are not as big anymore I look up and suddenly it goes upwards]

This song is just very peaceful and calms my mind when I listen to it, which radiates the same comforting vibe as Romain. The topic of rising despite things dragging you down are a very prominent topic here and reminded me a lot of him, especially with him leaving Haas and everything around that. It just feels nice to listen to a bit of an uplifting song once in a while, and this one does it in a way that still allows you to feel calm and safe, which is something I associate with Romain a lot.

Kevin - Vorbei (Nico Rosseburg, Sierra Kidd)

Sag mir bitte, wie passe ich die Zeit? Der Augenblick war schön, doch es ist vorbei

[Please tell me, how do I pass the time? The moment was nice but now it’s over]

With Kevin leaving F1, I had to go for this song for him. It’s a bit more of a sad topic (so am I with the knowledge of him not being there next year) but without making the entire thing sound melancholic. I only really learned to appreciate Kevin this year and I’ll miss having him around, so this song kind of fits that idea for me.

George - 20 Zoll MAE (Celo&Abdi, Bonez MC)

Ich fahr' mit Schrittgeschwindigkeit, so wie ein Don Hättest gerne meine Felgen, aber wirst sie nicht bekommen

[I drive at walking pace like a Don You’d like to have my rims but won’t get them]

Making this solely about driving at walking pace would be a bit mean but there’s a part in the song soon after about looking beautiful in a Mercedes, so that’s pretty much George. The song just carries that fun vibe and the subtle (not really) flex, which makes it great to listen to if you want to get in a happier mood. It’s a song about Mercedes rims, of course I had to choose George 😔

Nicholas - Standard (KitschKrieg, SFR, Trettmann, Gzuz, Gringo, Ufo361)

Treff' mich in Miami, fliege nur noch First-Class Nur noch unterwegs, kriege Heimweh

[Meet me in Miami, only flying first class anymore Only on the road anymore, getting homesick]

More ~rich boy vibes~ and a song that has been playing what feels like 24/7 on MTV Germany the last two years. It got so bad that some people around me still reply in the trademark Gzuz voice when someone uses the word “standard”. Anyway, I associate this song with Nicholas because just like KitschKrieg did with their first “own” song, Nicholas has joined the game and left an impression on everyone, in one way or another, and I’m willing to see/hear more of that :)

[marybethsjournal]

Always

Summary: Molly has hit a wall with Dutch and doesn’t know what to do; she feels completely lost. Not to mention that she has started to have complicated feeling towards another gang member.

Pairing(s): Dutch Van Der Linde x Molly O’Shea, Molly O’Shea x Sadie Adler (strongly implied)

Word Count: 1903

A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265912

It was barely noon and the girls were day drinking yet again. This didn’t impress Molly much, but she had come to realize that nobody, not even Dutch cared about what she thought. Molly pushed the thought away. If she thought about how Dutch had been shutting her out and treating her badly in general, she would be driven to drink just like these harlots. And then she would be no better than them, which seemed to be the most humiliating thought possible at the time.

Molly was not surprised that Karen was leading the drinking charge of the day. That’s all the wench knew how to do, that and seduce men. She tried not to blame Karen too hard for that, though, because everyone knew Dutch was strongly encouraging her to put herself out there and if Molly verbalized her bias against working women, she’d have to implicate Dutch in the whole thing and she didn’t feel like doing that. Anything to exonerate her man from wrongdoing. What did surprise Molly was that that girl, Sadie, had joined the women for once. And not in the way Abigail had, coming over to get one drink and then gone back to her business (Molly didn’t blame her, she deserved a drink, especially since Jack had asked about 50 questions today already and the Marston man had tried to pants Bill and got a fist in his face in return). Sadie was downing the drinks faster than anyone else; she seemed to have no shame. Molly supposed that maybe she shouldn’t have been so surprised. Sadie had gone through a significant transformation over the past few months. When Sadie had been brought in by Dutch, Micah, and Arthur, she seemed weak and quiet. She had worn dresses and otherwise modest garments, although nothing too fancy. Now, she had the audacity to yell at the men and one day, when out on the town with Arthur, she had bought a shirt and pants and she hadn’t taken them off since. Quite offensive, in Molly’s opinion, but Sadie objectively pulled it off quite well. Molly had noticed herself staring at Sadie quite often, observing the woman. She couldn’t pinpoint quite why, but she assumed it was normal. Sadie was pushing boundaries and was overall quite an interesting woman, more interesting than herself. Not to mention, Sadie was very beautiful. Anyone could see that, it wasn’t an odd thing for her to think.

Molly found herself in the same situation yet again. She was staring at Sadie, who was downing another drink and laughing at some joke Tilly (or maybe it was Karen??? Molly wasn’t doing a very good job focusing on anything other than Sadie at the moment) made. Molly smiled, seeing Sadie throw her head back in laughter. Her smile was so huge and genuine. It was only recently that she had started smiling again. Sadie had taken it rough, just like any woman would, when her husband died. Molly knew the pain hadn’t gone away, but Sadie seemed to finally be letting herself enjoy life with little guilt. She thought about Sadie’s smile a little longer than she probably should have and her mind ended up drifting to a few nights ago when she and Sadie had danced. The whole camp was ambient with laughter and music, coming both from the gramophone and Javier’s guitar. Everyone seemed to have found a partner and was dancing: Mary Beth with Arthur, Jack with Uncle (their form of dancing was far different than everyone else’s slow dancing, the pair were waving their arms wildly and running in circles together), Karen with Sean, Tilly with Lenny. Hell, even Abigail and that fool John had put aside their differences for the night and were dancing up on each other, a bit too provocatively for Molly’s liking. Molly had actually been really excited about the spontaneous party that night. She felt the distance growing between her and Dutch the past few weeks and she was convinced that that night could make it all better. She had put on her finest dress, fixed her hair, and perfected before asking him. But to her surprise, he told her that he was too tired and maybe they could try another time. Her surprise had turned to horror when she later saw Dutch dancing with Susan. The worst part was, Dutch didn’t even seem to care when Molly noticed. It was like he didn’t even care about her feelings.

Molly had run into the nearby forest to cry. She knew her makeup would smudge and usually she would refrain from crying to the best of her ability, but she didn’t care anymore. It only took a few minutes before Sadie had snuck up behind her and asked her what was wrong. She had been sitting on a rock nearby, not in a party mood, when she had heard Molly crying, she explained. How embarrassing.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened so I can fight a bitch?” 

Molly, despite her sadness, laughed. “It’s not really a bitch. It’s Dutch. Wouldn’t dance with me but he sure is dancing with Susan right now.”

“That old fart? Ah you can do better than him.” Sadie seemed to get an idea and clapped her hands together. “In fact, let’s show him what he’s missing. I’ll dance with ya.”

Molly was taken aback by Sadie’s proposal. 

“I’m not too sure that’ll make him jealous. Maybe if I danced with Charles or something…”

“Oh come on! Sorry I’m not Charles.” Sadie grabbed Molly’s hand and drug her back into camp

Molly was confused as to why Sadie seemed so insistent to dance with her, but she was certainly pleased by the attention. She rarely got attention from this gang.

The dance went wonderfully; Molly almost felt something resembling butterflies in her stomach, which she dismissed as simple indigestion. It was perfect until Molly apparently got too close to Sadie and she asked, “Miss O’Shea, do you expect me to kiss you or what?”

Molly was horrified. She gave some phony excuse and ran away from the situation as fast as she could, ignoring Sadie calling after her. Things had been pretty awkward between them since then.

Molly was startled out her daydreaming when Karen yelled at her, “Hey Molly, what are you looking at? You wanna drink or something?” Oh great, Molly thought after realizing she had been staring this entire time.

Molly walked over to where Karen was and for just a brief moment, allowed herself to look at Sadie again. Unfortunately, Sadie seemed to have the same idea. Their eyes locked and Sadie subsequently excused herself to go talk to Abigail. 

“What the Hell is her problem? Anyway, wanna drink? I’ll share mine. It’s the good kind of whiskey.” Karen offered some strong whiskey to Molly. There’s nothing Molly wanted less than to drink after Karen.

“I try not to drink outside of social settings.” Molly informed Karen, politely declining.

“Then WHY were you looking at me earlier?”

“I wasn’t.” Molly responded curtly.

“Then you were looking at Sadie. Cause I know you weren’t looking at these here two fools.” Karen made rude gestures at Mary Beth and Tilly. 

“I wasn’t looking at anything, Karen. Just thinking.” Molly couldn’t find it within herself to look anywhere besides her feet.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you. You two, get out of here. I need to talk to Miss O’Shea alone.” Molly tried desperately to get the other two girls to stay but Karen insisted they leave. Apparently, Karen had much more pull among the other women than Molly did. That wasn’t one bit surprising, but it still seemed wrong.

“Wow, you really don’t wanna talk to me. My feelings are so hurt.” Karen took another swig of her drink before continuing. “Listen Molly, you know just as well as everyone else that I think you’re lazy and entitled. Just all around a nasty person.”

Molly nodded. Karen generally was straightforward and rude when she wanted to me, but it still seemed the drink must be doing a number on her for her to be able to say what she just had said.

“But for some reason my the dumb bitch in me has started to care. I didn’t think I had an angel on my shoulder, but here she is, annoying as ever, telling me, ‘Karen, you have to warn Molly. You don’t wanna see her get hurt.’ And then I tell them back that I don’t care if you get hurt but I still feel like I do care afterwards.”

It didn’t take much of an intellectual to make the observation that Karen had had too much to drink. Molly honestly couldn’t understand what she was saying: it sounded like a whole bunch of incoherent rambling in which she said a whole bunch, yet nothing at all at the same time.

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. You don’t have a heart of gold like myself. But at least you do have a heart. Listen, I just wanted to let you know Dutch don't care about you.”

‘“Leave me alone, Karen. You’re drunk and I won’t hear anymore.”

“See, you know it’s true! He sees you as a toy more than anything. You’re gonna end up hurt and he’s not going to care one bit.”

“If you think he’s so bad, why are you still running with him?”

“A lot of us don’t have a choice, miss society lady. Besides, I know better to get involved with him.”

“Sure, Karen. Thanks, I guess.”

Molly had walked away and pretended like she hadn’t cared but even days later, the short conversation haunted her at every turn. Even late at night, lying in bed next to Dutch, she replayed the whole ordeal over and over again in her mind. She hated to admit it, but Karen was right. The man lying next to her didn’t feel much for her anymore, if he ever had in the first place. It was just cold lying next to him. Like sleeping with a complete stranger.

She had spent several consecutive nights not being able to sleep out of worry. Late into the night, she would search Dutch’s face for any sort of sign that maybe he cared about something, maybe not even her. She always came up with nothing.

It had become all too much for Molly. She found herself crying yet again. She had never known herself to be this emotional. Part of her wanted Dutch to wake up and see her in pain, but she knew in her heart that he wouldn’t care. He would just be irritated that someone interrupted his beauty sleep.

One night when Molly couldn’t control her crying any longer, she left their tent so as not to disturb Dutch. She walked towards the rock that she usually sat on while she read a book during the day. On her way, she noticed that Sadie was sitting on another rock on the other side of camp. What was she doing out this late. She supposed she would have to find out. Now was her chance to finally talk to Sadie and apologize for whatever had happened between them.

“Can I sit here with you?” Molly asked Sadie when she approached her.

“Always.” Sadie smiled at her.

“That would be nice.”

[cosmicangst]

I've been following you for a /long/ time so I know this has been asked before but your tastes may have changed so I wanted to ask what are your favourite books of all time along with most meaningful ones since I guess those two aren't exactly the same, as well as other really important media that you think have helped to shape your life

oh man anon have you been with me since my doctor who days? much love from me whatever time you jumped onto my silly raft

favorite books:

they’re all kind of meaningful to me so i didn’t make a distinction between “favorite” and “meaningful” (listed in no particular order)

life of pi by yann martel

tell the wolves i’m home by carol rifka brunt

a clockwork orange by anthony burgess

les miserables by victor hugo

jane eyre by charlotte bronte

persuasion by jane austen

and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini

war and peace by leo tolstoy

notes from underground by fyodor dostoevsky

giovanni’s room by james baldwin

deathless by catherynne m. valente

gone girl by gillian flynn

on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong

dictee by theresa hak kyung cha

his dark materials by philip pullman

chaos walking by patrick ness

illuminations by walter benjamin

all about love by bell hooks

patron saints of nothing by randy ribay

america is not the heart by elaine castillo

scenes of subjection by saidiya hartman

romances: bringing down the duke & a rogue of one’s own by evie dunmore, the hating game by sally thorne, a week to be wicked by tessa dare, suddenly you by lisa kleypas, the kiss quotient by helen hoang (and more listed here)

plays: king lear & much ado about nothing (favorite shakespearean tragedy and comedy), the glass menagerie by tennessee williams, antigone by sophocles, the oresteian trilogy by aeschylus, endlings by celine song, rust by nancy garcia loza, manny pacquaio punches the world but the earth doesn’t even flinch by mark galarrita, boni alvarez’s entire oeuvre

other formative media:

so formative for me doesn’t necessarily mean good or a current favorite. rather these works are things that have had a considerable impact in how i write, consume, make art, study, read, critique, appreciate, live, etc.

the essay i keep handy at all times and build my life around: washing dishes by thich nhat hanh

childhood/ya books that i seldom touch these days but i still remember random passages of word-for-word: little house series by laura ingalls wilder, the inheritance cycle by christopher paolini, bloodlines series by richelle mead, the diviners & the gemma doyle trilogy by libba bray, the fire and thorns trilogy by rae carson, hate list by jennifer brown, the hunger games series by suzanne collins

divorced, fraught media that still has considerable influence in my current interests and artistry: harry potter, twilight, the infernal devices, hamilton, a song of ice and fire, the walking dead, maximum ride (like yes i know...but also this was the start of the found family trope for me)

video games that make me continuously buy into this stupid hobby: animal crossing: wild world, final fantasy vii (crisis core), kingdom hearts (birth by sleep), persona 3 portable, persona 5, dragon age series, the last of us/part 2, harvest moon: mfomt, pokemon emerald, rune factory 4, fire emblem: awakening, red dead redemption 2, ace attorney series (and other otome/visual novels listed here)

the catwoman comics run by ed brubaker and darwyn cooke

live theatre productions that i constantly steal from as a theatre maker and/or proshots i constantly revisit: hamlet (2017 almeida theatre), natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 (2016 broadway), much ado about nothing (2019 public theatre), othello (2015 rsc), next to normal (2017 ewp), les miserables 10th anniversary (1995), les miserables (2016 broadway revival with john owen-jones), bandstand (2017 broadway), america adjacent (2019 skylight theatre), the curious incident of the dog in the night-time (2017 national theatre), fun home (2015 broadway), legally blonde the musical (the mtv proshot! a classic), newsies (2017 proshot), rent (2008 final performance proshot), phantom of the opera (2012 royal albert hall proshot), dear evan hansen (2019 us tour), company (2007 broadway revival proshot), hadestown (2019 broadway), gypsy (2008 broadway revival), tick tick...boom! (2001 off-broadway), early starkid productions, mojada: a medea in los angeles (2015 getty villa), miss saigon (1991 broadway...for my complicated feelings about this musical i wrote an entire thinkpiece about that here)

childhood tv shows that made me start a livejournal or a fan forum: teen titans (the original cn show), avatar: the last airbender, doctor who (especially rtd era season 1-4)

my emo albums i still use for writing: welcome to the black parade by my chemical romance, bad blood by bastille, american idiot by green day, folie a deux by fall out boy, a fever you can’t sweat out by panic! at the disco, the twilight movie soundtrack and sm*yer’s custom playlists she posted on her website

all the movies listed here

all animanga listed here

[breakingarrows]

Stealing this from twitter, one of those 1 like = 1 video game answer

1. Very first video game

I have hazy memories of playing Sonic on the Genesis and if not that then most likely Pokemon Red? Twisted Metal is the oldest game I own that I didn’t buy myself and just always had so maybe that one.

2. Your favorite character

God gotta be Geralt. It is hard to separate his Witcher 3 iteration from the books, which is probably the best compliment I can give CDPR’s adaptation as the more I read the books the more I appreciate how faithful that game was. Geralt’s the typical grumpy dad who puts on a show of having no emotion but really does care about others and frequently acts on that (no need to read into how that reflects myself).

3. A game that is underrated.

Tough because underrated as in metacritic or just in general like mass audience reactions? I think overrated would be an easier pick for metacritic but for mass audience underrated I would say something like Disco Elysium since it was PC only and even there seems to have found a small but dedicated niche audience. I would also say Rain World but honestly need to play more.

4. Your guilty pleasure game.

LA Noire, Alan Wake, Alien Isolation, games people are mostly either like, that was okay or didn’t like but I really love.

5. Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were)

Damn guess its time to admit how Geralt reflects myself.

6. Most annoying character.

Got some classics like Navi (OOT), Dutch/Micah (RDR2), Ryder (GTASA), I feel like there are more good ones but I can’t find/trigger their memories.

7. Favorite game couple.

Geralt and Yennefer (Witcher), Red and her unnamed lover (Transistor), Harry and Kim (Disco Elysium)

8. Best soundtrack.

Fuck. Hyper Light Drifter, Final Fantasy VII, DOOM, Transistor, Halo Reach/ODST, Red Dead Redemption, Kingdom Hearts, Alien Isolation, LA Noire. Licensed: Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1, 2, 3, Fallout 3/New Vegas (even if they repeat way too often).

9. Saddest game scene.

Ending of Crisis Core, death of Avalanche members in Final Fantasy VII, ending of Red Dead Redemption, ending of Transistor, saying goodbye to Clementine in The Walking Dead Season 1.

10. Best gameplay.

Titanfall 2, DOOM, Hitman, Halo 5 (Arena multiplayer only), Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 (revert is king), Metroid Prime (on Wii).

11. Gaming system of choice.

PS4/3/PC in that order

12. A game everyone should play.

Disco Elysium, Bioshock 2, Rain World, Yakuza 5, Final Fantasy Tactics (either PSOne Classic or War of the Lions)

13. A game you’ve played more than five times.

lol full playthroughs Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, DOOM. Games I’ve started and made significant progress in so many times: Final Fantasy VII, Modern Warfare 2, Alan Wake, Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, LA Noire, Halo Reach, Final Fantasy Tactics The War of the Lions

14. current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper.

Wallpapers on phone have been Evangelion for years now. The rotating desktop wallpaper folder only has Alien Isolation because of how much it looks like Alien and Breath of the Wild because of how much it looks like Ghibli landscapes.

15. Post a screenshot from a game you’re playing right now.

It would be something from Apex (a win screen) or Red Dead Redemption 2 (landscape)

16. Game with the best cutscenes.

God most games have cutscenes that are really boring (shot, reverse-shot, in-game engine puppets, black bar zoom ins, economical choices because of how often they’re going to be used but so boring) so I guess Control because its got styyyyyyle.

17. Favorite antagonist.

uhhhhh the greater structure of the world in Disco Elysium? Human opponents in Apex Legends. The rain in Rain World. Tenpenny in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. Xenomorph in Alien Isolation.

18. Favorite protagonist.

I mean Geralt (Witcher), Alan Wake (the titular Alan Wake), Harry Du Bois (Disco Elysium), Red (Transistor), John Marston (Red Dead Redemption), CJ (Grand Theft Auto San Andreas), DOOMGUY (DOOM), Jesse Faden (Control)

19. Picture of a game setting you wished you lived in

Most of video game worlds are trying to kill you but Breath of the Wild, San Andreas, Kingdom Hearts, Morrowind

20. Favorite genre

Seems to be shooters, some open world if the angle is good.

21. Game with the best story.

Story as in fiction? Disco Elysium. Story as in the thing its trying to sell you on as you play? The Last of Us, Bioshock 2, Transistor.

22. A game sequel which disappointed you.

Not technically a sequel but Bioshock Infinite, Red Dead Redemption 2, Fallout 4, Metal Gear Solid V, Uncharted 4, Halo 5, Infamous Second Son

23. Game you think had the best graphics or art style

Persona 5, Disco Elysium (those portraits jesus so good), Shadow of the Colossus (PS2 version, the fog and unfocused edges make it such a #mood), Morrowind (I love the fucking early 2000s 3D graphics), Final Fantasy VII (the pre-rendered backgrounds, I could star at them for days), Control, Hyper Light Drifter, any of those Yoshi art games (crayon of Yoshi’s Island and fuzz of Wooly World are standouts)

24. Favorite Classic game

Pokemon Gold, Link’s Awakening, Doom, Final Fantasy VII/Tactics, Spider-Man

25. A game you plan on playing

boy I have a whole spreadsheet for this on but the one on my mind is Okami, Alpha Protocol, Madworld

26. Best voice acting

uh idk the expensive games, Red Dead Redemption 2, The Last of Us?

27. Most epic scene ever

when I get a win in Apex Legends with like 8+ kills overall

28. Favorite game developer

Remedy Entertainment, Respawn, uh hard to find consistency, most of my favorites have been one-offs where I either haven’t played or don’t really like the rest that developer made.

29. A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving.

I usually don’t play games I don’t think I would like because I know my tastes and don’t waste time but I guess something like Hitman was a surprise because I had heard all the praise about it long before I finally sat down to play it myself and it was fucking great.

30. Your favorite game of all time.

God uh I mean I’ve been returning to games like Uncharted 2, Final Fantasy VII, San Andreas for like a decade now. Pokemon Gold too if I would finally buy the stuff to replace the battery in it. So I guess one of those since they’ve been part of my life the longest.

[watchingminecraftyansim]

Post 4 - Oh God Oh Fuck Isabelle Procrastinated

Now you may think this post is late, but have you considered that time is just early? No, because that’s stupid and I was tired, but we’re here now, so let’s talk about episode 5 Yandere High School roleplay series by SamGladiator on YouTube, on Saturday instead of a Friday. Because I am a professional who definitely was not playing Red Dead Redemption 2 instead of doing this.

The episode starts with Sam waking up, and Taurtis is in the bathroom, claiming he doesn’t feel too good because he ate too many Doritos. Sam, being the good friend he is barges into the bathroom against Taurtis’ requests. Because of their supposed lack of toilet paper, Taurtis reveals that he’s been using bank notes to wipe his ass, even though there looks to be a full roll of toilet paper right next to the toilet. Before the boys leave Taurtis decides to play Gamecube for all of 5 seconds before Sam tells him that he needs to get going. Before they head to school Taurtis checks the mail, which he reads out in the pouring rain, no doubt getting it ruined. Sam is of the same mind as me and tells Taurtis to get out of the rain with the fan art. Sam runs in the rain while Taurtis scolds him, citing the Mythbusters episode where it was found that running in the rain gets you wetter. Before we can get too far into that line of discussion we see that Teacher Gareth’s house has been cordoned off as a crime scene, his ex-wife is missing, and he just looks terrible, with ripped clothing and bags under his eyes. When the boys get to the convenience store, we see that it now has ~~comic books~~ manga as well as food, only HunterXHunter though, someone more familiar with manga can say if this is acceptable or not. Taurtis and Sam grab some manga, bread, Taurtis gets some doritos despite what happened just that morning, and they get condensed comedy as well, and by that I mean a piece of meat labeled dog. East Asian country eats household pets. You may laugh now. When paying for his stuff Taurtis decides to fuckin’ showe CrabManCarl with money, Sam promptly intervenes, picking up the money and saying that they needed to save that money to give to Teacher Gareth to prove Taurtis sold the most cookies. We also see JtsTheDane again, aka the best character in this entire series, I will not be accepting criticism on this now or ever, have a good day. We also see an advertisement for the cinematic masterwork, Shrek, on the billboard outside of the convenience store, with Jts stating that he heard it was going to be “shrektastic”. We then see Jay has gotten a new car, with a massive spoiler, the kind that goes on the back of cars, not the kind that tells you Paul Blart kills Thanos in Endgame. The boys then ask Jay why he always has a new car every time they come to school, and Jay says he just likes cars and I mean… I guess, can’t fault a man for that. 

The boys finally enter school and Sam tries to see if  he’s now popular due to him being accused of breaking and entering on Twitter and immediately fucks up mentioning how SoulOwl hasn’t fully recovered from molting. Invader asks why Sam didn’t text her back last night, Sam responds by saying he was busy, and they’re not even dating, Taurtis tells him it’s Facebook official, after he got into Sam’s Facebook account when he forgot to log off of his computer and made it Facebook official. Log out of your accounts when you’re not using them kids. As we get into teacher Gareth’s room we see that he has a rope on the board… oh no. But before we can get too concerned class starts, with Gareth doing roll call and introducing us to a new student, ChanYandere, protagonist of the hit perpetually-in-development-game-since-2013, Yandere Simulator. At this point, if you’re still waiting for it, swallow your weeb pride and play Hitman. It’s good, it’ll be better than YandereSim, and it isn’t made by a garbage person. But this blog isn’t about Hitman or Yandere Simulator, it’s about SamGladiator, so moving on we learn that her hobbies include reading manga, playing video games, and playing the piano, this is converse to Yandere-Chan in YanSim, whose personality is that she has none. Then we get to the results of the cookie selling competition, and it turns out that Sam didn’t actually even need to save Taurtis from spending all that money as he just mailed in the results to teacher Gareth, and Taurtis actually won the cookie selling competition. To celebrate his victory he runs to the front of the class and punches Jay for no discernible reason and dances on his desk. Taurtis then goes up and stands on the teacher’s desk to explain his strategy of selling his cookies to the convenience store. Taurtis answers questions while blatantly ignoring Sam, until Sam jumps out of his seat to ask his question, which was if he could read HunterXHunter volume 2 when Taurtis was done with it, he got a no. Taurtis also gets his GameCube back, revealing the one that they stole was not the one that Gareth originally took from them, begging the question, who’s GameCube did they steal? We then get the class’ homework assignment, which is to write a poem, and Gareth tells everyone that they can join a club by signing up at the main office. Now that is just one step away from a club where you write poems, and if one of the inde hits of 2017 has taught me anything that can only go well. Yes I heard poems in a highschool setting and wanted to shoehorn in a Doki Doki Literature Club reference in based on the fact that I like it and being the sole proprietor of this blog no one can tell me no. The bell then rings and Gareth tells the students to have a nice life, which causes Taurtis to do something responsible, to take away the rope in Teacher Gareth’s room, and try and cheer him up by giving him Doritos. This sounds like the part where I go,”Nah I’m fuckin’ with ya they do [bad thing]”, but no, they actually do something kind of good, and I am proud of them for that. I say them, it was just Taurtis who did this, but still. This somewhat backfires however as Doritos were Gareth’s ex-wife’s favorite food. Oops. 

Before heading to lunch the boys pop into the computer club, where they see on Sookie’s fumblr page that Sam and Taurtis killed someone, which, I don’t think actually happened. We also then get a look at ~~Twitter~~ Fwot’er, what the fuck is that name? We see Jay’s tweet about Sam and Taurtis breaking into Gareth’s house, and an advertisement for Paul Blart Mall Cop. I am sure this movie advertisement is a one off gag like the others and will not come back to have Kevin James’ Paul Blart appear in the series. PowerDragon then asks if they want to join the club, but they decline, saying they’re probably gonna go to the manga club instead, and were just looking around. Before they leave to go eat their lunch Sookie asks Sam if he actually killed someone, which he responded no to, in a very unconvincing way, and Taurtis’ very half hearted assurance that Sam didn’t kill anyone doesn’t help matters, but Sookie seems convinced enough. Sam and Taurtis then go to sign up for the anime club, and they learn that Jay is the president of it, so they go talk to him about the details of it. They go sit with Jay and see that Chan is also in the anime club as well. Jay tells the boys that the club will be at his house after school, and before they can talk too much about that Jts and PrimegamerJC are showering everyone at lunch with a lot of Mountain Dew and Doritos. Taurtis joins in throwing money along with the Mountain Dew and Doritos. Chan offers to share some carrots with Sam, but sam declines saying that he’s eating Dog, and when everyone seems weirded out, he says that he was joking about eating it. After this Sam and Taurtis agree to go to Jay’s house after school to talk about Manga and work on their poems. The episode ends with the bell ringing indicating that it is time for gym class.

I don’t really have too many thoughts about this episode, it is taking a bit for the series to get going, hence why I sort of slacked off on getting this episode out. I know a lot of interesting stuff happens later, but these first few episodes are boring, especially with me not being able to blast through them to get to the interesting bits like I am usually able to with other things. But tune in next time to listen to some weebs talk about manga, as well as seeing what crazy shenanigans Rowan has planned for gym class.

[shiredwarf]

24 hours later: i'm still outraged as ever & i've found a couple of new things to be outraged about that i somehow just missed yesterday. which is understandable. hard to keep track of all the fuck ups!

what was the point of euron fighting jaime? also how did they even end up together? that was another case of characters just conveniently appearing at the right time at the right location (which is like euron’s mine character trait at this point: randomly showing up without any real reason just to fuck shit up in the most annoying way possible). Also: why didn't Jaime just go for this route the first time around?! he might have even made it in time. why is euron so obsessed with killing jaime? why is euron in general? what's his point? was he ever meant to be anything but a cheap plot device? everyone deserved better than this

the fact that the unsullied officers just left tyrion with jaime no questions asked is probably the dumbest moment of the entire episode. dany has often and loudly questions tyrion's loyalty but nothing suspicious about tyrion (THE HAND OF THE QUEEN) wanting to stand guard outside the tent and sending everyone else away. like what's he gonna do? free the person he clearly loves most in the world with a key that just magically appeared in his hand while davos somehow sneaks past the entire greyjoy fleet to leave a boat at the foot of the red keep? naaah (how did davos get back from there btw? did he tow another boat? was he not alone? why am i even trying to make sense of this we all know this plot was written on a piece of toilet paper)

and what's with dany never learning of jaime's escape?! someone must have checked on such a high profile prisoner in the morning? someone must have noticed and told dany who just hours ago threatened tyrion with death should he ever betray her. why did noone come up with the idea to use jaime as a hostage??? but guess everyone just forgot about him, just like the writers forgot about his arc :))))))))))))))))))

where did all the dothraki come from? why are there still so many unsullied left? it sure looked like 90% of them died in winterfell. then we see a significant number in episode five and in the trailer for episode 6 it looks like thousands??? do they just respawn? are we following video game logic now? (btw remember when soldiers had actual personalities? when was the last time an unsullied beside grey worm or a dothraki did anything to remind us they're more than npcs. what do they think about all of this? what did they think about the army of the dead? how are they coping? why was everyone suddenly ok with senseless violence against children even though dany has been saying for years she doesn't want that. yeah sure, she started the kings landing BBQ but she was in a completely different part of the city. there was no way for the foot soldier to know that she was indeed butchering civilians and not just wiping out the last remainders of the lannister forces that hadn't put down their weapons. i’m glad though that they all apparently learned to communicate with each other telepathically otherwise they would be as freaking lost as me rn

one thing the books and previous seasons have been really good at is small little world-building elements that pay off later. and they could have used that in season 8! there wasn't any need to introduce new stuff they could have just used what's already there. they did well on that account with lyanna, jorah and theon. Theon probably had the best arc this season tbh (not a tough competition but it's something) and died a stark and a greyjoy. His identity was the major theme of his journey and seeing it played out this way was satisfying! Lyanna and Jorah both embodied "Here We Stand" in their final moments (Jorah quite literally) and that was wonderful! Why couldn't we get something like this for the Lannisters? Why couldn't we get one final, brilliant scene with cersei trying to turn the tide (backup plan? never heard of it). Don't get me wrong, Lena's acting was fantastic but why couldn't we get a "Hear me roar" moment? Her arc was tide to house Lannister more than any other and yet we didn't get anything? Why didn't we get any rewarding rains of castamere parallels? if they're set on wiping house lannister off the map why not show the tragedy and irony of it. why not remind of us tywin's fantastic speech in season 2? they could have used any of those themes but they didn't???

i'm still not even ready to begin to vocalize my opinions regarding jaime. every time i think about it i can feel my life drain out of me. what a fucking waste you guys

what i can vocalize now however is how much i do hate cersei's end and how they treated lena. I cannot get over that. like i realize she is a villain and i realize she is not meant to be a sympathetic character and she never had a chance to get redemption or get out alive but the show treated her like dirt in the end and just like jaime she was eventually reduced to the incest plotline. she started this show out as someone completely at the mercy of the men in her life (her father, her husband) and while jaime was a big part of her arc her main objective was always throwing off that control and taking it herself. sure she overdid it massively and became power hungry but that power hunger is a direct result of the way she was brought up and everything she was forced into/everything she was denied. weirdly, her conflicts are very similar to brienne's. both women didn't want the roles their peers tried to force them into, both women wanted to escape and both women assumed to do so they would have to take on male traits. brienne did that by rejecting her womanhood completely for 7 seasons and aspiring to be a knight. cersei took a very different route. maybe because she had that option (brienne couldn't mould herself into a proper lady unlike her) or maybe because that was literally her only option (imagine tywin's reaction to cersei putting on armour...). in the years that follow cersei and brienne obviously take very different paths and they have very different personalities but just as brienne deserved her knighthood and the affections and acceptance of the man she loves, cersei would have deserved to be free of men trying to decide her fate for her. but she never was. first it was her father, then robert, then her father again, then the high sparrow and when she finally wiped them all out she had to let another man she despised into her bed to maintain power. brienne managed to escape the confines of male-dominated society forced on her, cersei never did. they could have either shown her finally free before her death, free of the men that tried to control her all her life, free of the power hunger, free of societies expectations or they could have had her face her ugly deeds. i doubt she would have ever regretted any of it but it would have been so much more satisfying to see her properly outsmarted, to see her face off either dany or sansa or jon (or even tyrion or jaime had his character arc not been ruined before that). she was a fantastic, complex villain until she basically just started to stare off into the distance. it would have been so satisfying to see her face reality before the end. Instead, we got rocks. but even that scene (as beautifully as it's acted) isn't satisfying. cersei, who has never been one to just weep helplessly, is first reduced to begging jaime for her life & to save their child (AGAIN WHAT WAS THE POINT! I WILL NEVER GET IT!) and then she keeps freaking out because she doesn't want to die at all and certainly not this way (very self-centred as always whereas jaime is much calmer and at peace with what's about to happen and ready to take care of her even though he’s worse off) . i don't know if this was intentional or just a happy accident but even in those final scenes it's very obvious that the love cersei has for jaime is not the same kind of love jaime has for her. i guess they both ended up wanting to die in each others arms seconds before it happened so there’s that. but it’s a cheap ending for the best actress in the show before they robbed her of all opportunities to shine

oh and lena's instagram combined with her body double’s yet unseen work on the show has now convinced me that we're incredibly likely to see cersei's and jaime's mutilated bodies/heads next week. can't wait to see their characters disrespected on a whole new level jfc i’m so tired

i can't even think about brienne these days. absolutely seething. at this point i would prefer it if the brienne/jaime romance had never happened in ep. 4. if they'd stuck to glances and meaningful gestures at least it would have made more sense. brienne would have been his "what if" when they erased jaime's character development and made him return to cersei (which i maintain could have made sense because no matter what jaime will always love his family no matter how much he also hates them IF ONLY THEY HAD PUT IN THE FUCKING WORK). but she's not a "what if" now is she. she is his "this happened and it was good and important" but we're just going to forget this. we're just going to forget that the last 8 seasons have been leading up to this point. we're gonna forget that for the entire first half of season 8 jaime didn't even flinch at the thought of cersei dying. four episodes of jaime glued to brienne's side and then we're just expected to believe he doesn't care after all. then we're just supposed to believe she is never mentioned again and no thought of her crosses his mind or anyone else's for that matter (looking at you tyrion). I genuinely don't get what the point of that romance was then. to keep jaime in winterfell for a bit longer so him getting captured would make more sense? i feel like there were like a million ways to get the same outcome without throwing brienne under the bus. brienne and her entire arc were used as a cheap plot device for jaime and it wasn't even worth it cause they then butchered jaime's arc. god i'm so angry.

remember the last time a tv show fucked up in the last episode? yeah, dexter!  i'm calling it now: got will end exactly like dexter in terms of plot and level of satisfaction. jon will kill dany (a family member/romantic interest) and then go north to spend his day in the wilderness (lumberjacking away miserably)

the more i think about it there is not a single thing about this episode that actually makes sense. this goes beyond plotholes, this is just a plain hole

[splat-dragon]

“Any last words?”

“I am a Son of Dutch.”

the lasso fastened tight around her throat, and she was yanked harshly off of Speakeasy’s back

 The sheriff, looking greatly disappointed and vaguely hurt—they’d been good friends, after all, when she’d passed herself off to him as nothing more than a bounty hunter—fit the noose around her throat

  Dutch rolled his eyes, knocking her hands away as she fussed with her tie; she wasn’t one for dress-up, usually, but he needed someone that could fit into small spaces and none of the men could, other than Javier but they wouldn’t be able to get a Mexican passed the guards, so it had come down to dressing her up like a man. He pulled the tie tight, and she grimaced; he shook his head, amused, loosening it enough she could breathe

 Sheriff Malloy, refusing to look her in the eye, stepped away, standing next to the lever, beginning to address the crowd. The rough rope of the noose scratched at her throat, and she couldn’t help but to wonder how many other people had died at the end of it, only vaguely listening to Malloy as he listed off her crimes, eyes scanning the gathered crowd, more interested in her than him.

  Arthur’s eyes watched Dutch keenly, and he wasn’t the only one. There was an odd sort of pride in Hosea’s eyes, and an adoration among the gathered others, as their leader spoke to them. His voice cracked, rose and fell, and she found herself, too, enraptured. She understood, then, how he had convinced so many to follow him.

 Evan looked up, looked passed them, half hoping to see Arthur, or Charles, Javier or Bill or any of the others, barreling in, masked and ready for a gunfight. But she’d be furious if they did, she’d put herself here saving them, and if they were recognized the whole gang would be put in jeopardy, would be hunted down relentlessly, would have to move far, far away again.

  the heist had gone so, so wrong, and they were running, spurring their horses as hard as they dared. John was bleeding, propped up against Arthur’s back, Old Boy following them loyally. Javier and Bill were yelling, bleeding, too, but not half so bad as John, cracking shots off over their shoulders; she was bringing up the back, covering the rear, letting Speakeasy have his head while she shot lawman after lawman, but there was no end to them

 So, no, it would be better if she was lost to them, if she was hanged, if it meant they were safe.

  they had thought they were safe, had lost the lawmen and taken shelter under an overhang. She’d been catching her breath while they licked their wounds, Arthur wrapping up John’s as best he could; they needed, desperately, to get him back to camp so he could be tended to properly. Evan had been fine, only a few scrapes, so she’d taken watch

  she’d been the first to hear the lawmen, naturally, their hooves thundering on the ground. She could only guess they’d followed John’s blood, she didn’t know, still doesn’t, never will. But she shouts a warning to the others, and they’re on their feet in moments, helping Arthur get John onto his horse, mounting up

  they spur their horses, still exhausted from the frantic sprint, bolting back towards camp. She knows, though, as she sits in Speakeasy’s saddle, that they won’t go to camp. Will circle and dart back and forth, won’t come within a mile of camp until they’re certain they’ve lost the lawmen

  and John doesn’t have that time

  so she whirls Speakeasy around, making sure her pistol is loaded, before digging her heels into his sides. He screams, and surges forward, Evan low on his neck, hoping that she’ll survive this, knowing she’ll come out, at best, badly hurt

  they take a corner, startle the lawmen. Startle them more when, instead of turning or stopping, they charge forward, barreling through them, sending them scattering. She spurs Speakeasy, seeking to gain as much ground as she can while they’re regrouping, turning to fire over her shoulder to make sure she has their attention, and to check that, yes,

  all of the lawmen have taken after her, abandoning their pursuit of the others

 She could only hope they’d take care of Whiskey and Duchess and Merchant and Underwood, that Kieran or Arthur or even both, maybe it would be better if it were both, they loved those horses, would find them good homes, or keep them in the gang, put them to good work. Whiskey, big as he was, would be perfect for little Jack to learn to ride on, he's so slow and sturdy and steady and she was sure he’d put up with the boy. Hoped, maybe, that they’d give Whiskey to Jack, let him live out his twilight years with the kid, leave something to show she’d been with the gang, to show that she’d done some good.

 Evan wished, more than anything, that they had hold of Speakeasy. That he’d managed to get away from the lawmen, fled when she’d been pulled from his saddle. That he hadn’t been so damn well trained, hadn’t stopped and waited for her to mount up again.

 She didn’t know what they would do with him, after, and that uncertainty scared her more than anything. He was a good horse, and she loved him, and he deserved far better than to be some lawman’s workhorse. Deserved, after her death, a lazy retirement of fresh grass and oatcakes, getting fat while carrying around some little kid. Or hauling around a little cart, carrying produce to market. Not being shot at, possibly by the very outlaws he’d helped protect, until he died beneath an indifferent lawmen.

 Shit, she hoped they told Cripps. The old man would have no way of knowing that she was dead, only that she’d never come home. Never wrote him, never told him to move camp again. Not unless her hanging managed to make it into the paper, and he happened to buy that paper. She hoped it did, and that he did. After all, a bounty hunter so notorious as to earn a name from the Del Lobos, being revealed as an infamous outlaw? And being hanged for it, besides? 

 That all hinged on Cripps buying that particular paper though and, considering how far they were camped from a town, she didn’t think he would.

 He knew, though, that she ran with the Van Der Lindes from time to time. Knew the vague area that they were camped in.

 So, surely, if she never came home, he would seek them out? He cared for her, she knew, or at least the income she brought in, the clothes and the furnishings, so surely he would ask them if they’d seen her. Or, at the least, write them? She’d told him their pen-name, how to get ahold of them, just in case, and her never showing up… well, she’d damn well say that was an emergency.

 So Evan hoped that they’d take him in. They already had Uncle, after all, so what was one more senile old man? Especially one that was at least somewhat useful. If they didn’t, well, she didn’t know where he’d go. Horley and his mistress were gone, so he couldn’t just go back to them.

 She hoped, more than anything, that they’d take him in. Him and Tad, god, they both needed a good home. Tad could help them hunt, after all. He wasn’t too loud, and he was a damn good hunting dog. They always needed money, and food, and he could help them get both. Besides, they had Jack, and a boy, any kid, always needs a dog. And Tad would make a fantastic first dog for the kid. So, really, they didn’t have any reason to not take the two in; they would only be a boon for the gang.

 The sheriff was reaching the end of his speech, although she’d long stopped paying attention and, she saw, those who had lent him half an ear had, as well, far more interested in the outlaw only moments from death. Evan wanted to look to Malloy, to seek some sort of comfort from her friend before she died, but she refused to, fixed her eyes on the crowd. She’d betrayed him, and he likely hated her for it. What right had she to beg comfort, to beg forgiveness, just because she was about to die? At his hand, no less. The man was already hurting, and being made to look into her eyes as she died, whether abruptly as her neck was snapped, or slowly, suffering as she was strangled, wouldn’t be fair to him, and though she was an outlaw she had enough empathy to keep her eyes on the crowd, barely able to hear his speech drawing to an end over the rapid thrumming of her heart. It bounded in her chest, leaping and racing, as though it knew they soon would come to an end, was trying to wring as many beats out as it could.

 “She shows no remorse, and neither shall we.”

 Evan raised her head, gulping around the noose that felt tighter and tighter, watching as the Sheriff tightened his hand on the lever.

 She looked over the crowd, those countless faces that she’d seen so many times, could never put names to. There, the gunsmith, some dull sort of horror on his face as he realized why, exactly, she came in so often to buy ammunition. The butcher she'd dare say she was friends with. The stable-hand, the general shop owner. All people she had met, had known well, but that hadn’t truly known her despite what they had thought.

 “I am a Son of Dutch.”

 No one in the crowd would remember that she said it. They might think about it, sure, for a few hours. Wonder over it, whether she truly was a Son of Dutch, if they were nearby or if she had strayed and wandered. But come morning they’d forget about it, would forget about even her, that brief entertainment they’d gotten from watching her hang long gone. Maybe the butcher, the gunsmith, would remember her for longer, but he, too, would forget about her. And the Van Der Lindes would, eventually, as well. As would Cripps, and Horley, and Flaco, and everyone else she’d ever known.

 Sheriff Malloy would, for sure. At least for a couple of days. Were the Van Der Lindes around? he’d wonder. Finally, though, he’d write it off as the last, desperate words of a criminal, trying to buy herself a few more hours, hours in which she’d be interrogated as to the Van Der Linde Gangs whereabouts, hours in which she could stage her escape.

 In the end, though, she would be forgotten, as everyone was.

 But oblivion scared her, as it did any outlaw. She wanted to be remembered, as any outlaw did, to go out in a blaze of glory. In a gunfight, trying to get away from the law, with money and spoils to bring back for her family. Would have been much happier dying earlier, while luring the lawmen away, alone and in the brush, instead of in front of a bunch of people who didn’t care, who were only there seeking some sick entertainment.

 She needed to say it. That she was loyal to Dutch. That, in the end, her heart belonged among them, far away now, by the campfire, surrounded by the sounds of loud voices and guitar playing, by the thudding of woodcutting and the whickering of horses. With the people who had, somehow, earned her trust and her loyalty. None of whom she had ever told, and so she wanted someone to know. To say it, out loud, if only ever once, this final time, and know that someone would hear her. She was about to die for them, and she could only hope that they-

[janyolski]

Fic: Paradise Lost

Link to FFN | AO3

Summary: A Rachel Redemption story! Set after the events of 5x10, it follows Rachel Duncan and what happens to her after her sisters gain their freedom at the expense of hers. She is stripped of everything that made her who she is, she has a target on her back, and she's missing one eye.

Author's Note: I read the Orphan Black Comic featuring Rachel and I just HAD to write her a redemption story. This one is for all the other Rachel lovers out there~ I don't think she's so much different from her other sisters because I believe at her core, she just wants a li'l sisterly love, yknow? And a child.

Also, I'm still thinking of better story titles. Please PM me or leave a review for a suggestion or go over to my askbox and give me a suggestion! I will credit you for the title. You can also suggest chapter titles! Thank you very much~

Chapter 1

"Rachel, you know you can't come in."

Felix says it the way a mother admonishing a child would, for wanting to go into an inflatable bouncy-house when the other kids already playing inside hate her - firmly but with a tinge of pity. She feels disgusted with herself - disgusted that she was at the receiving end of pity from someone like Felix Dawkins.

But she was mostly disgusted that she actually wanted to go inside. She wanted to be with her sisters. She craved what they had.

Love. Freedom. Peace. Each other. Family.

With Ethan and Susan Duncan actually dead, Aldous Leekie shot and post-mortem decapitated, Neolution and Dyad up in flames, and Ferdinand dead with a gaping hole in his throat, Rachel Duncan is truly undeniably alone.

As much as she keeps thinking that she's used to this after growing up as a self-aware lab rat and eventual corporate mogul, her loneliness this time was different. Before she had anger to motivate her, anger to control: anger and ambition fueled her being and it was enough reason to wake up each morning and look forward to the next day.

But now, Rachel is just empty. No company. No parents. No conspiracies. No lovers. No one but herself. And she's even missing an eye.

Broken.

But she can't ever reveal that to anyone, especially not Felix. So, she responds with something Rachel Duncan would say; she holds her head high without looking Felix in the eye.

She couldn't bring herself to look Felix in the eye.

She gives him the envelope and hopes, genuinely hopes, in her heart that this gesture would at least mean something.

"It was Kira. She asked me to come find you."

Rachel Duncan prided herself in being three steps ahead of everyone around her. But in all her years, this was something she would never have predicted; Cosima Niehaus coming to see her after she's flown to a different country with a different name, at one of the many 7-elevens where she works as a nightshift cashier at.

Since the destruction of Neolution, all of the LEDA clones were free. All except her. Rachel Duncan became the number one target of the remaining heads and board members. They still had connections and deep pockets, all the means to put a bullet through her head. Of course Rachel wouldn't let them. Her body was her own and she was not going to let anybody dictate how she dies.

No, Rachel Duncan would live on her own terms. So, she went off the grid with the little money she had left using a fake passport she had prepared for emergencies. She flew to a country where it was always warm, like she and Ferdinand always wanted. She used the money for two months of advance rent for the crapbox that's now been her apartment for the last ten months and made sure to stock up on food and supplies. She also managed to illegally purchase a small gun to protect herself with. She thanked the country's loose gun control laws for this. In no time, Rachel found herself blending into the city like a chameleon.

And now her dreadlock-sporting clone is standing in front of her, miles and continents away from Canada or Minnesota, where it all began.

"You didn't answer my question, Cosima. What do you want?"

Her own real voice sounded foreign to her ears. She had to drop her accent and change her voice, pretend to be another out-of-luck and broke American to not draw suspicion to herself, and to get the job she has now. She was already a foreigner in a third world country; she didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb with her British accent. She's had to dumb herself down and make up a background story for herself.

Some nights as she lay in bed waiting for sleep, she wonders if she's ever even been a real person, if she's even ever had her own personality that was not touched by Neolution or the need to be better than the other clones.

She thinks of that girl in the video, laughing with her parents, playing in the grass, and she has her answer.

"Rachel, I uh... This is going to sound like bullshit but, I just wanted to see if you were… okay?"

Rachel's steel cracks from the sheer shock brought by her clone's words. She doesn't stop the laugh that escapes her throat. She's glad that it's two o'clock in the morning and there's no other customer in the convenience store.

Incredulous. Unbelievable. Bullshit.

For a moment she almost wants to crack a joke.

"Do you have hidden cameras there? Am I in an episode of Punked?"

But she looks at Cosima and there is nothing but sincerity and concern in those eyes that are biological mirrors of hers. Well, they used to be.

No. Cosima's eyes were warm and alive. Always have been, even when she was sick and almost dying. Rachel knew her eyes weren't like that. She looked at herself in the mirror often enough to know that her eyes were dead.

"Look, I don't expect you to believe me but Kira called me a few hours ago and she was worried. You know how she is. You know she… feels things."

Cosima's hands wave around in the air as she speaks. Rachel knew exactly how Kira is. More than anyone. Probably more than Sarah did. She'd studied Kira's biology and abilities. She knew that besides extraordinary fast healing, Kira had a deep sense of perception of this world and had a connection to all of them.

"Kira told me you're going to kill yourself."

Cosima's words are a thundering blow and the walls she built around herself crumbles.

It wasn't true that she was going to kill herself. She already did. Or at least she tried to, last night.

She cried no tears as she put the barrel of the gun inside her mouth, only felt a gaping cold emptiness in her core. She stayed that way for five minutes, still, like a mannequin positioned to illustrate suicides, she guesses. She willed her finger to just pull the trigger. Pull the trigger and end it.

But she couldn't. So she put the gun down after a while and went to sleep.

Rachel suddenly felt the missing emotions from last night drop like a weight on her chest all at once. Her uniform felt restrictive and she couldn't breathe. She was about to start hyperventilating and she recognized the coming onslaught of a panic attack. Her mouth goes dry and she swallows and tries to even her breathing.

Cosima eyed her and noticed the slight change in Rachel's demeanor. The scientist knew she touched a nerve - a big red angry nerve that's probably about to burst. She decides to act quickly to salvage the situation and Rachel's pride.

"Okay... Delphine and I will be in the country for a month. LEDAs to cure and other science stuff, y'know. Here, take this."

Cosima holds out her business card.

"Call me. Talk to me. I just wanna have lunch with you."

Rachel hesitates but takes the proffered business card. Cosima gives her a small gentle smile, nods and takes her leave; Delphine was waiting for her outside the store, smoking beside their rented car.

She tries to suppress it, nip whatever hopeful thoughts and ideas bubble up into the surface of her consciousness, but there was something there… Rachel was feeling something she hasn't felt for a long time.

The chimes placed strategically over the door rings to let her know there's a new customer. She pockets the card and takes a deep breath, turning her attention to the new customer and addressing them as she was trained to do so.

She considers calling Cosima in a few days' time.

[paxtonhwmm494-blog]

How To Explain Red Dead Online Hack To Your Boss

Generating income in Red Dead Redemption 2 Online is a tast that requires effort. The launch, however, really did not go so efficiently - some players weren't even able to begin the game. Inspired by a journey glitching past the globe boundary of Red Dead Redemption 2, Ian MacLarty (the manufacturer of Activity Painting Pro and Catacombs Of Solaris) has actually created his own unusual desert experience to show to all of us.

A string on the PCRedDead Reddit community is presently cataloging all the well-known launch concerns tormenting Red Dead Redemption 2 on COMPUTER, and they consist of numerous blazing problems that we do not anticipate from games in 2019. There are 3 various other alternatives readily available to you if you 'd rather not make use of the above gold bar glitch.

You can then head to a Fencing (there's a neighboring one at Emerald green Cattle ranch) to market the gold bars. The glitch, which is described in the video clip below, allows players to enter Mexico and explore a few of it. The majority of the location is vacant, however the few placeholder structures appear to recommend that the area may be completed down the line.

At the end of Red Dead Redemption 2's main campaign, gamer personality Arthur Morgan dies from consumption, a condition that will slowly eat away at him in the game's last phases. From here, you'll intend to finish the 6 first tale missions, which need to bring your personality up to Degree 8 and make you around $450 and 0.7 gold bars.

There are permanent as well as temporary posses readily available in Red Dead Online. A few gamers are directing in the direction of empty communities as well as an absence of NPCs generating as an indication of a momentary repair by Superstar. Red Dead Online Beta will certainly be readily available according when they initially to any person who has purchased a copy of Red Dead Redemption 2 on Playstation 4 or Xbox One starting from Friday November 30th.

Keep in mind: Learn here If you've already taken the handout at this area, you will just be able to get 2 gold bars. Red Desert Render is a moving panorama to find with simply a couple of duties to understand and glitches to seek. Players are consistently stunned at the number of brand-new aspects and also locations there are to find while exploring the Red Dead Redemption 2 map, but among those most unexpected is an unforeseen glitch that lets you gain boundless money.

Yet, the game now accidentally allows you obtain any kind of steed due to a glitch. As a result, players will require horses in order to travel around the various landscapes. Gamers reported an increase of crashing given that the upgrade as well as mount price issues in the locations around these horse stacks. This snow location in Red Dead Redemption 2 is notable since, unlike the glitched Mexico area, it actually has some special location in the type of frozen lakes as well as ice walls.

Rockstar launched its seriously well-known Western-themed open-world title on Tuesday via the developer's own game launcher The PC version of Red Dead Redemption 2 has actually improved graphics over the PS4 and also Xbox One variations, in addition to more material, consisting of bounty hunting missions, gang hideouts, tools as well as more.

Among the funniest thus far is this insect where gravity appears to have gone into some sort of twilight zone near the game's 3rd camp. Step 6: Take as many gold bars as you can bring (depends upon satchel high quality). Let's just state Red Dead Online's shift from beta has not gone off easily. A complete supply of 30 gold bars will net the gamer $15,000, or $500 from each bar.

Nonetheless, unlike the advocate Red Dead Redemption 2, things in Red Dead Online set you back a considerable amount of cash. The updates resolve the "Red Dead Redemption 2 Exited Suddenly" mistake message along with the issue with antivirus software application. The very best part about this RDR2 cash glitch is that it will not influence your capability to conserve, unlike using the Red Dead Redemption Cheat Codes.

A far better guess may be that it's part of Red Dead Online, which is because of start in beta this month but about which Rockstar has actually said practically nothing until now. Exploiting this glitch quite violates the spirit of the game, since it is intended that your gang has a hard time to make it through in the early parts of the tale.

YouTuber ZacCoxTV has actually found a means to access the hidden section of the map by riding your horse against the shoreline as well as boldy running as well as jumping versus an undetectable wall. It isn't exactly a glitch, yet I think of Superstar won't desire players to jump straight to Ranking 50 so fast.

Similar to cowpokes inhabiting Red Dead Redemption 2, however, not all horses are produced equal. Superstar established an assistance web page for those seeing the "Red Dead Redemption 2 Exited Unexpectedly" mistake message. Nevertheless, the most excellent horses either stay locked for a long period of time or are also pricey for a typical player.

You can watch the complete video clip of the crazy Red Dead Redemption 2 glitch below. Red Desert Render is a rolling landscape to explore with a few tasks to accomplish and problems to locate. While you can see a lot of horses generate randomly at this area, there is a technique to obtain the preferred horse. Now one more player, Reddit user Huntroploria, has handled to glitch beyond the game's northern boundary, discovering a huge, extra snow area that was apparently reduced from the final launch.

[thesportsplanet]

The Marathon

This stream of thoughts started from a conversation I watched on YouTube about Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” song being removed from the Country genre by Billboard. The ‘show’ Dead End Hip Hop features a collective of people that typically discuss matters related to, well, hip hop. Chiming in on the topic was another YouTube personality to essentially provide the country perspective. Making it about halfway through the video everyone involved made some great points on both sides of the discussion as to whether the song was country or not, if the song should’ve been removed and if there were other examples of this type of situation either in country or hip hop.

The conversation turned to Post Malone and the idea that here is someone ‘putting on a costume’ and imitating/mocking this genre of music that the artist has no real intention of being part of while making money off the songs that have been deemed as being belonging to this genre (basically White Iverson being a hip hop song and Old Town Road being country).

I paused the show to think about something. To me I wasn’t ready to fully ‘cancel’ or bash Lil Nas X or Post Malone. I questioned if these artist were simply inspired. Maybe Lil Nas X was a gamer and after spending a weekend binging Red Dead Redemption, found cowboys cool and decided to intertwine elements of that in his artistry. Maybe Post Malone was a guitarist or drummer or whatever but really liked Juvenile too. Of course both artists were being charged with mocking these genres and a case could be made for sure but I didn’t kn...

Then the light bulb went off. Or rather the issue with all of this hit me.

We live in this era of trolling. We don’t know if anyone is serious or not. The more I got to thinking about this the more I asked myself if that was the fault of the people doing the trolling, especially musically artists “just trying to make it”.

Nowadays everything is on our phones and there’s so much to see. This leads ‘some types’ to do whatever they can to draw your eyes to them. To try to pull a reaction out of you. Good or bad, they got your attention for 15 seconds and that’s another view, stream, like, retweet or comment. As someone very partial to Twitter, I see everyday someone have a funny tweet or GIF that gets thousands of likes and retweets and when you go to the comments the first thing is that person trying to direct you to their SoundCloud link now that they have your attention. And you can’t blame them because the currency these days is attention. You could be listening to a podcast, a song, a YouTube video, shopping online, watching Netflix, texting, reading the news, playing a game, FaceTiming, surfing Instagram...but they were able to get your attention for a few seconds and now that you’re here how do I continue to keep you here.

People who can’t name three Jay-Z album titles know who Lil Nas X is. People that’ve never listened to The Cranberries know who Post Malone is. If Lil Nas X was just another rapper, if Post Malone was just another guy in a rock band would they have reached the notoriety they currently have? And do these artists have the right to utilize these genres to their advantage. Does Post Malone have to pay respect to hip-hop and prove himself as a student of the culture? Does Lil Nas X have to have listened to country and genuinely been a fan to make his song? Or are these music styles up for grabs, open to interpretation and able to be molded into any and everything to make, well, art?

I don’t know what my answer is. What I do know is there’s a respectability to authenticity though. Outside of the music itself, growing with this person and understanding them through their art and how their art has grown. Go through Jay-Z’s catalog and hear how he grew and matured from someone talking about drug dealing escapades to instructing about financial literacy. Look at someone like Nipsey Hussle that utilized his platform to build up his community. 

Compare that to someone like Kanye West. Mal from the Joe Budden Podcast--not to put words in his mouth--made a “suggestion” that Kanye’s entire career has been a troll. Maybe performance art is the better terminology. Mal spoke of the alleged theory that Kanye’s car crash didn’t truly happen--or at least didn’t leave him in the condition we had come to believe it did. That he had his jaw wired shut from another incident and used that narrative to provide authenticity to his Through The Wire single. While I don’t wish to speak to something that may not be true, when you look at a lot of how Kanye has moved throughout his career it does make one think. The George Bush doesn’t care about black people line on TV during the Hurricane Katrina telethon, the MAGA support and slavery line uttered on TMZ, the tour rants and walkouts. 

Do we actually know who Kanye West is? His music infamously changes frequently going from The College Dropout to 808s and Heartbreak to Yeezus. But if his antics have all been shams, publicity stunts and trolls then what can we gleam from his art that tells us who he is?

I guess for some that doesn’t matter. It’s all about getting to the bag and hey I can’t fault you for that, do you! At the same time, I actually care about the art. Do the art for the love, be one with it. Trolls feel like such the opposite. Someone just here for the sale, someone here selfishly. Maybe that adjective is too harsh. But it just feels like if you’re going to go out of your way to get our (collective our) attention, at least do something of quality with it.

I dunno, maybe I’m just 27 going on 63. But I can’t also help but think of Nipsey and his passing and how so many more people truly mourned the man way more than the musical artist. So many people resonated with the truth he spoke, the genuine nature of his essence, the intentional strategy behind his music and how that blended into everything he did. And here is a person 90 some odd percent of people know from his persona as a musician and not the man, Ermias, personally.

For whatever my opinion counts: the troll job may pay off in the short term. And take advantage of any and all loopholes you can find to ‘blow up’ and make it big. But Nipsey was right on the money, it’s a marathon. Better to be yourself and be authentic than to chase the instant gratification.

[sarazanmai]

Thoughts on the MP100 English dub. Episode 12.

I can’t believe we’re DONE what?

before getting to the episode I can finally cite so many voices

Shou is voiced by Casey Mongillo and she is a co founder of the website GTAGaming and has been in games like “Star Trek Online″ and “Red Dead Redemption”

she is also transgendered and has posted some youtube videos about her experience

Koyama’s voice actor is Kieth Silverstein who voices Hisoka in the HXH dub, Speedwagon from Jojo, and Vector from the Sonic franchise

Ishiguro with the mask on is played by Cristina Vee who is the current voice for Sailor Mars and plays Killua in HXH

Sakurai is played by Xander Mobus who was the narrator and voice for Master Hand in Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U and 3DS

I have no fucking idea why it took so long for this info to be on MP100 wiki, but I’m glad I can finally give them credit

also I thought I had mentioned this before, but Reigen’s voice actor Chris Niosi has a tumblr account @kirbopher if you’re interested

anyway its time for the final episode (at least until we get a season two)

Teru really does look like Naruto with this hair

at some point we’ve all said it, but the foreshadowing in this intro is overwhelming

I mean Mob doesn’t even get the broccoli seeds in this arc

“Honestly I really don’t wanna hurt people.” I like how Sakurai seems surprised by this, like he can’t fathom pacifism

Reigen’s just like “bitch you THOUGHT”

I feel like I’ve made this clear, but Reigen is just adorable to me

“listen, REAL adults don’t have time to play with toy swords. its time to grow up!” OOOOOHHH

“that’s it? what a weak ass punch, are you a plushie?”

meanwhile Ritsu is in the corner pondering reality

“wow I’m in great shape today”

the “Mob had successfully run away” part is one of my favorites

something I like about this episode is how much blue they chose for the palette

Ishiguro you are not ambitious, if you were then you wouldn’t be subservient to a man who doesn’t even grant you access to his name

for real what is Touichirou doing this whole time?

“get up, nobody wants to hear you monologue”

oh my God here it comes, tragic backstory time

I do like the paint on glass animation for young Sakurai

“back when I was in grade school, it was around fourth grade, I forgot to tell my parents that it was sports day at school. so I was the only one with nothing to eat”

beautiful, marvelous, spectacular, I wept

this is one of my favorite moments in the series, its so perfect

jokes aside I do think about how there’s probably more to Reigen’s past than we’re aware of, especially knowing his childhood ambition was “to be somebody”

gun

again I like the constant reminder that these Claw people are fundamentally being childish

God I love that our big climax is a sweaty man in a cheap suit roasting the bad guys

“look I’m a commoner! and I’m much more powerful than any of you will ever be! so tell me, what the hell does that make you!?”

“he dragged them out of their illusions and back into reality, shattering their dreams and putting them in their place.” when will your faves?

“I actually thought he was a girl this whole time” I’m not gonna lie I kinda wish Ishiguro really was a ten year old girl

 okay unmasked Ishiguro sounds familiar and the only voices that are listed for him in both languages are his voice with the mask on, of coarse

“wrong. having psychic powers doesn’t make you popular” Mob just summed up the whole show

“see? there you have it. you’ll never be popular, so give it up.”

I’m just realizing....what was Shou doing this whole time?

Shou’s voice really has grown on me, I like how youthful it is, its a shame the bulk of his screen time is after the events of this arc 

generally speaking when it comes to the esper kids in this series both languages did a great job at making sure they still sound like kids and I appreciate that because I am really bored of adults trying and failing at playing teenagers

not just in anime, in general

“and as for you, listen up. I’m disappointed in you, you coward.” whatever Shou you’re like twelve

ah yes, the famous Shouritsu look

I never understood what Shou was doing with his hand when he teleported away, it looks dirty

congrats Reigen you can now see Dimple!

and...that’s about it

I like this “return to moderate normality” sequence, its soothing

I love Mob’s surprised reaction when he’s looking at Tsubomi, someone broke it down frame by frame and they put a lot into it

“you are such a spaz” do kids still say this?

I still hate Shinji, but I guess he learned his lesson

why is Ritsu still hanging out with him though? and outside of school too

I still feel bad for Tenga, but at least he found a place in the Body Improvement Club

“JUST GIVE ME A DAMN MINUTE!!!!”

I like how Ritsu’s having his nice brother speech and then Mob legit passes out

again Teru REALLY looks like Naruto with this hair

I love the animation on Reigen rolling up the newspaper, its these small character animation moments that really give these characters personality

“did I do something he thought was lame?” yeah but he’ll get over it in a few arcs

I still don’t like the Kageyama parents, they really bother me

aaaaand there he is, the next great Asshole Anime Dad

he doesn’t sound like I imagined

then again I imagined him sounding perpetually unimpressed

“yes, I’ll return very soon” COUGH COUGH

this omake just makes me so happy, I’m really thankful that Bones didn’t see ONE’s art as inferior or not good enough

in fact this really drives home that ultimately the anime took his style and cleaned it up a little, softened the edges, they didn’t flat out change it like what happened with OPM (again not to knock Murata’s illustrations because when I read OPM I do read the version with his art)

I love the way they drew the forest

“its hUGE!”

for real this is such a nice omake

and with this we are finished

overall I went into this dub not expecting much, but I love MP100 so much that I figured I’d try it out and I’m impressed. I like that Funimation didn’t fill the cast with their bigger name actors, not to knock them but its nice that they gave these opportunities to voice actors who aren’t as established and I really do hope we get season two. when we do I definitely will watch the Japanese and English versions. everybody did good and I’m even willing to say that its on par with the Japanese. I’m impressed that they pulled through and I’m definitely going to keep my eyes peeled for when they release the Blu-Ray set in America. I really want to be able to watch it on my TV in glorious HD at my own convenience. 

I had fun doing posts like this and I kind of want to do this for other dubs of anime I love, I’m thinking I should give the OPM and BNHA dubs a try. as far as which one I’ll do first I’ll think about it but stay tuned for that