#guess I’m gonna watch king fu panda

[disneyprincessdxminatrix]

Me: eh today isn’t so great

Friend: Jack Black released a full cover version of Baby One More Time

Me: OH SHIT FOR REAL? 👀

[normal-internet-user]

Purple is an adorable nickname 💜 love it!! And honestly I’m good with either male or GN that way everyone can be included :) and I’d love a oneshot if you could!

It’s gonna sound so nerdy but I literally picture the fight scene in the oneshot to be like the bridge fight between Tigress and Tai Lung from king fu panda— such fast moves it’s hard to keep up who’s hitting who, brutal attacks /blocks and then that air jump bridge flip thing was pretty sweet and impossible.

Gods I’m such a nerd 🥲 again Ty 💜

okie doki Purple!! I'll do GN pronouns that way it's inclusive for everyone!! 💕

DAREDEVIL

◇~~◇~~◇~~◇~~◇

Summary: Reader is the TMNT version of Daredevil, and they team up with the turtles to get information on an orginization called The Fist from Bradford.

Warnings: Depictions of violence, swearing.

Requested: Yes💜!

GN Reader!

.........................................

You took a breath of the not-so-fresh New York air.

You were currently sat on a rooftop across from a suspected Foot Clan hideout, waiting for one of the idiots to show themselves.

One of your hands rested on your special baton, which diguised as a blind man's cane when you were dressed as a civilian. The twist was the baton had around 30ft of aircraft-control cable hidden inside it.

The reason for the blind man's cane disguise is because that's what you were. Blind.

You had been by a mutagen accident afew years ago, but your other senses heightened, making your disability almost nonexsistant.

Key word, almost.

You tensed suddenly, hearing the sound of quiet footsteps.

"Someone's watching me."

You smirked, whoever it was, had zero clue you knew they were there. You picked up the sound of three more sets of footsteps.

So there were four of them? The only question is who are they. Foot Clan, maybe even Fist?

Whoever they worked for, they were about to get their ass's beat.

You spun around, baton now in hand and knocked the closest attacker to the ground. They let out a yelp, and one of the others shouted out, "Mikey!"

You twirled your baton, blocking the blades making their way to your chest. You twisted, causing the fighter to drop their swords, then you kicked back, your foot striking another attacker in the face.

With one last expert swing of your baton, you had the four fighters wrapped up tight, none able to escape the tight bondage.

"Why you-"

You pulled the cable tighter, smirking at the four, "Ah ah ah. You speak when spoken to, got it? Now, who are you, and who do you work for?"

"Work for? What do they mean, 'work for'?- OUCH!"

You yanked the cable again, "Well? Who is it? The Foot? Fist? Who. Do. You. Work for?"

"The Foot? Wait, you think we work for the Foot Clan?"

You huffed, your frustration growing, "Do you not?"

"No, dude/tte! They're the bad guys, and we're the good guys!"

"Well, what about Fist? Do you work for them?"

One of the four guys scoffed, "The shell is The Fist? Never even heard of 'em."

With a sigh of frustration, you released the four from the cable. You attached your baton to your belt.

"We good dude/tte?" 'Mikey' asked.

"I guess so. I'm assuming you're enemies of the Foot Clan, and as the sayimg goes, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend', so yeah, I guess we're good."

You turned back to face the four, smirking, "Well then, I suppose introductions are in order, I'd like to put names to voices."

"Uhm, isn't the saying, 'Names to faces'?"

You chuckled, "Well for me, it's voices. I'm blind."

"Oh- Uhm, well then, I'm Leonardo."

"Raphael."

"The name's Michelangelo, aka Dr. Prankenstein, aka-"

"And I'm Donatello."

You nodded, glancing back at the building you were supposed to be watching.

"And you are...?" Leonardo asked, annoyance lacing his tone.

"Call me (Vigilante Name)."

"Ok then-"

You cut him off, telling him to be quiet.

A Foot bot had exited the building, confirming your suspicion that it was infact a hideout. This meant that Bradford was most likely in there as well.

"Well boy's, it's been a pleasure, but I'm afraid I have business to attend to." You whispered lowly, but just as you moved to jump off the roof, Leonardo grabbed your arm.

"Wait!" he said, "We're coming with you, it's to dangerous to go alone."

You scowled, "Fine, but leave Bradford to me. Understood?"

"Fine. Team, move out. we go in quickly and quietly-"

Leo cut himself off when he noticed you charge off the roof.

You landed right infront of the Foot bot, smirking as you punched it in the face. You drew your baton as you kicked down the front door, "All right, who's first?"

The Foot bots turned to look at you, then all at once they charged.

You twirled your baton, knocking down a row of Foot bots. You moved around expertly, dodgeing attacks, and striking down the enemy in a dance of strength and skill.

"BOOYAKASHA!"

You smiled as your new friends joined the fight, aiding them whenever they seemed to get overwhelmed.

"Nakamura (Name), it has been quite a while since I've seen you, hm?"

You spun around, baton at the ready, "Bradford."

You charged, ignoring the warning from Leonardo as you flung yourself at Bradford, "Tell me where The Fist are hiding!" you shouted as you swung your baton, Bradford easily blocking the pitiful attack.

"So that's why you're picking a futile fight? Tell me, what is it you need from The Fist?"

You scowled, dodging a slash of Bradford's claws, "That's none of your buisness! And if you won't tell me willingly, then I'll beat it out of you, Bradford!"

He chuckled darkly and your battle insued. It was a fierce whirlwind of cable and claw, to anyone else, it was unclear who was winning, but to you it was obvious you would be victorious.

You threw one end of your baton, the cable swinging around Bradford's neck. You caught it as it fell back to the ground, pulling the cable taunt.

He gagged, trying to pry the cable from his neck, swinging you around wildly. You managed to catch yourself on a pillar, stopping Bradford from swinging you anymore.

"So, you gonna talk yet mutt?"

"Never-!" he choked out, yelping when you pulled tighter.

"Not the right answer~"

You pulled a little tighter every second of silence, untill Bradford finally called out, "All right! All right! Downtown Manhatten! The warehouse by the peir! That's all I know, I swear!"

You smirked, "Thank you." you yanked the cable, slamming his head into the pillar and knocking him unconcious.

"All right boys, who's ready for a trip downtown? You guys need a crash course on Fist."

"Oh, oh! me I'm ready!" Michelangelo shouted.

"We're in."

As you lead the four from the building, Mikey whispered in your ear, "You should call Bradford Dogpound."

.........................................

There we go, I'm finally done!! Purple im so sorry it took so long, and Im so sorry it's not very good, I was struggling so bad writing this!! 😭😭 I tried I swear, I'm sorry!!

[quibbs126]

Here we go, first sketch dump I’ve done in ages

So I’ve already shown you the Dark Choco can’t die one, so don’t need to explain that

With the Peach one, so yesterday I had remembered the Kung Fu Panda movies and I was listening to their version of King Fu Fighting, and it made me think of Peach Cookie (probably because of her panda pet), so I had wanted to draw her, but just didn’t get around to it yesterday. Then this morning, I was listening to the trailer music for Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, since that music has stuck in my head since I heard it (also I am planning on seeing that movie when it comes out, for some reason I’m pretty hyped for it, gonna watch Beast Wars for the full reference on the Maximals), and so when I went to draw, I still wanted to draw Peach, but I wanted to give her a cool action pose. I found some pose references for holding a staff and just drew her in one of the poses best I could, and I thought it turned out really good

Then, later on while I’m here at dinner, I needed a sketch to fill out the page, and I thought, why not do Jujube in a similar pose? You know, given their possible father/daughter connection? So yeah I did that, but from the front. I think I only did the younger version because I didn’t want to do the beard. I think he turned out good too though

It gave me an experiment in perspective and line weight. Not as good as it would be, but I still think it looks good.

And then in between that I drew Snow Sugar and Dark Choco together, which I realize might not make much sense, but it’s because of the fact that the North and South Dragons have the powers of ice and black lightning, and so do their magical artifacts that give them power. I’m almost certain this is coincidental, but still. I dunno, I wanted to draw Snow Sugar, but I didn’t know what to do with them, so I just chose on putting these two together

I think another thing I was planning on drawing was Snow Sugar and Birthday Cake, with me going “what is your lore?”. Or maybe it was just to Birthday Cake as she looks away nervously. But I guess I forgot about it. Ah well, I can draw that another time

But yeah, sketch dump

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Platinum Cherry Blossom - Kujo Jotaro (2/2)

MULAN x STARDUST CRUSADERS & VENTO AUREO (just a tiny bit)

Cast:

Fa Mulan - Reader Li Shang - Kujo Jotaro Fa Li (Mulan’s mother) - Bruno Buccellati (You had it coming...) Fa Zhou (Mulan’s father) - Leone Abbacchio (Godamn it, me...) Little Brother (Mulan’s dog) - Ghirga Narancia (Wtf am I doing?) Grandmother Fa - Guido Mista (By this point, you can go ahead and throw me out of the window) The Matchmaker - Trish Una (Sorry, girl, I never liked you) Chi Fu (Annoying Advisor) - Enyaba The Emperor - Joseph Joestar General Li - Sadao (Jotaro’s dad that’s not busy playing the sax anymore) Shan Yu - Dio Brando Yao - Jean - Pierre Polnareff Ling - Kakyoin Noriaki Chien-Po - Avdol Muhammad  Mushu - Iggy Cricket - Sex Pistols (Mainly #5)

This is so much fun omfg, hope you’re enjoying the ride as much as I am!!!

CLICK HERE FOR:

PART 1 

---

After such an exhausting day, she just wanted to take a well deserved bath to scrub off the dirt and sweat, while Iggy kept looking left and right, worrying that someone might see her.

She obviously didn’t want to stink like some corn chip man, so she jumped into the water, letting the cool feeling sooth her sore muscles, telling Iggy to stand watch if he’s so worried, as he wouldn’t stop pestering her.

“Yeah, yeah. Stand watch, Iggy, while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits! Pffft! Hygiene!” Iggy farted next to #5 shamelessly.

However, just as he said that, some cheers could be heard from the distance, and a pair of heart patterned briefs were thrown at Iggy’s head, only to notice the 3 idiots throwing themselves in the water.

As Avdol jumped, he made a canon-ball, making it look like a tsunami took place in the lake, as the girl looked at them horrified, using a lily pad to hide her face while silently swimming behind a rock.

“Oh, hey, it’s Fugo!” Polanreff pointed out, making the girl grin awkwardly, taking the lily pad away from her face. “Oh, uh, hi, guys! I didn’t know you were here!” she tried to do a masculine voice. “I was just washing. So now I’m clean, and I’m gonna go. Bye-bye!” she chirped, trying to hide even more behind the rock. “Aww, come on, don’t leave! I know we were jerks to you before, so let’s start over. Hi, I’m Kakyoin.” he shook the girl’s hand, dragging her forwards. “And I’m Avdol.” she heard the other man say as she unconsciously hit her hand on his chest as she tried to take it away from Kakyoin’s grasp. “Hello, Avdol.” she said softly, before covering her face, realising that Polnareff was butt naked on top of a rock. “And I am Polnareff, King of the Rock! And there’s nothin’ you girls cand do about it!” he put his fists on his hips, rocking proudly. “Oh, yeah? Well, I think Fugo and I can take you.” Kakyoin did some silly karate moves. “I really don’t wanna take him anywhere.” she declared, swimming away to the shore while covering her chest. “But Fugo! He challenged us, we have to fight!” Kakyoing gaped at her. “No, we don’t really have to. We could just...Close our eyes and swim around.” she tried to swim closer to the shore, only to have Kakyoin follow. “Awww, come on, don’t be such a gir-...OUCH! Something bit me!” he shrieked as Iggy bit his butt. “Eww, what a nasty flavour...” Iggy spit in disgust. “AHH! WATER MONSTER!!” he gasped, swimming the hell away from there.

She then took advantage of the commotion to whistle for her horse to come and help cover her up as she left to the shore.

“Boy, that was close...” she sighed, putting her towel closer to her. “No, that was vile!” Iggy brushed his teeth with a lot of mint tooth paste, only to start chewing on coffee gums. “You owe me big!”

“I NEVER want to see a naked man again.” she declared as she started squeezing her hair of water, her horse rolling his eyes, agreeing with her.

Only as if on cue, however, the rest of the soldiers started running and cheering naked past her, making her stare in shock and horror at the display, while her horse and Mushu were already dead inside.

“’Ey, don’t look at me, I ain’t bitin’ no more butts.” Iggy groaned, getting away from there.

As they walked back to her tent, they noticed Jotaro and Enyaba arguing, the hag throwing crude, poisonous words at the young captain, completely undeserving, and as soon as he left his tent, trying to cool off his head before Ora Ora-ing the advisor with Star Platinum, she tried to smile at him.

“Heey, I’ll hold her and you punch!...Or not.” she tried to cheer him up, but he only gave her a glance before walking away. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great Captain!” she spoke louder, hoping it would help in any way.

For a split second, he stopped and spared her one more glance, before going on his way, making the girl smile softly.

“Heey, I saw that!” Iggy looked at her with a knowing glint in his eyes. “Huh? Saw what?” she blinked, looking at him with confusion. “You like him, don’t you?” he asked, with a weird smirk. “No, I -” she tried to deny everything, but she was quickly cut off anyway. “Go to your tent!” Iggy scolded, but she could only smile back at where Captain Kujo stood before going to sleep.

Without her knowledge, Iggy and #5 made the masterplan of writing a scroll from the General, informing Enyaba that he needs Jotaro’s troops, and then went to make a dummy out of spare armor and cloth, found a random panda bear and went to deliver the scroll to Enyaba, who was out, taking a bath.

Of course, Iggy had to sass the annoying hag, speaking to her aggressively, while the panda went up into the tree, seemingly “vanishing” altogether.

And so, Enyaba rushed to Jotaro, telling him that they are needed in the front, and the next day they packed everything and made their way to the fight.

“For a long time we've been Marching off to battle” everyone started singing, trying to get their mind off the long road.

“In our thundering herd We feel a lot like cattle” Polnareff sighed, hearing the cows moo in the distance.

“Like the pounding beat Our aching feet aren't Easy to ignore” the rest continued their chant.

“Hey, think of instead A girl worth fighting for” Kakyoin smiled, putting his arm around his 2 friends ”Huh?” Y/N looked at them weirdly. “That's what I said A girl worth fighting for I want her paler than the Moon with eyes that Shine like stars” Kakyoin sang, showing a scroll of a beautiful lady, imagining kissing her.

“My girl will marvel at My strength, adore my Battle scars” Polnareff flexed, imagining as he would boast to his beloved.

“I couldn't care less what she'll Wear or what she looks like It all depends on what She cooks like Beef, pork, chicken, mmm” Avdol wondered, smiling softly.

“Bet the local girls thought You were quite the charmer” Polnareff smirked at Y/N as they passed the river.

“And I'll bet the ladies love A man in armor” Kakyoin flex, his clothes filled with so much water, making him buff like Jotaro, only for him to deflate quickly.

“You can guess what we Have missed the most Since we went off to war” everyone sang happily, watching the women work in the rice fields.

“What do we want?” Kakyoin asked, hyping everyone up.

“A girl worth fighting for” they all chanted, as Y/N realised some girl were batting their eyes at her, making her blush and walk away.

“My girl will think I have no faults” Polnareff flexed once again.

“That I'm a major find” Avdol grinned as they all got closer to Y/N, waiting for her verse.

“How 'bout a girl who's got a brain Who always speaks her mind?” she tried, but they quickly stuck their tongues out.

“Neaaaaaah!” they laughed, continuing their own verses.

“My manly ways and turn of Phrase are sure to thrill her” Kakyoin fixed his hair with a charming smile.

“He thinks he's such a lady killer” Polnareff nudged the girl as he slapped the horse, making the poor red head fall face first into the mud.

“I've a man back home who's Unlike any other And that’s my son!” Enyaba boasted, thinking about her son.

“Yet the only boy who'd Love her is her son.” Polnareff mocked the hag, earning lots of chuckles.

“But when we come home In victory they'll line up At the door” they all chanted as the 3 started making very beautiful snow-women.

“What do we want?” Kakyoin asked once again, as everyone was grinning and cheering.

“A girl worth fighting for” they all sang simoultaneously  “Wish that I had” Kakyoin enticed everyone for the last time.

“A girl worth fighting for A girl worth fighting” everyone was cheerful, until they stopped in their tracks, realising that the whole village was burnt to the ground and everyone, including women and children, were dead.

Everyone was dead silent as they tried to search for survivors, but the only thing they found was a little puppet that belonged to a little girl, and General Kujo’s helmet, which only made them realise the massacre that took place, slaying his father.

Everyone gave Captain Kujo his space to mourn in silence, watching him use his father’s sword as a grave, putting his helmet on.

“I’m sorry...” the girl made her way to the Captain, resting her hand on his shoulder, offering her condoleances.

Composing himself, he gave her an appreciative nod before going to his horse, mounting and informing everyone that the Huns were moving quickly and that they were the Emperor’s only hope, so they had to go through the pass.

Before she left, she put the little doll to the General’s grave, offering a small prayer, then rushing to catch up with everyone, despite the exhausting snow.

On their way, as Y/N was guiding her horse along the way, a firework was sent through the carriage, and upon further inspection, Iggy had to blame #5 for his own mistake.

“What happened?!” Jotaro galloped to her, staring with a mix of emotions. “Uhmmm...” she was trying to explain how a dog lit a firework, but she had no time to answer. “You just gave away our position!” he yelled at her, and as if on cue, he got shot by an arrow that he was too slow to realise to stop with his Stand, and he fell off. “GET OUT OF RANGE!” he ordered everyone.

As they all tried to run away to cover, more and more fire-lit arrows were sent their way, one of them hitting the carriage, which made the poor horse jump around in fright, and it took 7 people to save the cannons and get the horse away from it, as Y/N jumped on it, riding away, only for the carriage to explode, making the horse and the girl fall over.

“Oh, sure, save the horse, not me. Thanks.” Iggy glared at her as he fell down.

She started running to where everyone else was, helping them fire the firework cannons until there were none left, as Polnareff shot it before Jotaro could stop him.

As the smoke cleared, an infinite army of huns were battle-roaring, and all Jotaro could tell his soldiers was to prepare to fight.

Yeah, as if that was going to lead in anything but defeat.

They watched in horror as the army started descending back at them, and as Jotaro was getting everyone ready to fight, Y/N noticed a snowy mountain peak she could use.

Without telling anyone, she started running closer to the middle of the battlefield to aim better, taking out her Stand and shooting a massive fireball at the peak, not caring about how much everyone was shouting.

Thankfully, she managed to hit it just as the blond enemy reached her, but unfortunately, he was quick enough to slice her torso. Jotaro was there too, but it was too late for any battle, as she grabbed his wrist and ran away from there, not wanting to get stuck in the avalanche, but even that, even with them riding on Y/N’s horse, it was no use, the snow was simply much faster than humanely possible.

She could hear Iggy yelling out her name as he snowboarded down the mountain on a shield, but as soon as she noticed a semi-conscious Jotaro was being taken away from her, almost falling down the cliff, she used her Stand to grab him by his armor, pulling him on the horse with her, and also, Iggy and #5 jumped on.

With the failed rope-arrow that was shot by Polnareff, she shot it back at them, thankfully him catching it, as she used her Stand to keep her horse and everyone safely. She could only watch in happiness as Polnareff and Avdol used their own Stands to get them back on the surface, as Kakyoin’s Stand’s tentacles secured them even better, helping to pull them up.

“I knew we could do it! You the man! Well...Sort of.” Iggy cheered in victory, praising the girl.

As they were pulled to safety, they left Jotaro and the girl some air by backing away.

“Yare Yare Daze...Fugo, you are the craziest man I’ve ever met.” Jotaro got into a sitting position, looking sternly at the panting girl. “And for that, I owe you my life. From now on, you have my respect. It’s not often I see someone with a Stand, especially as powerful as yours, or that can be used to do such witty tricks.” Jotaro put his arm on Y/N’s shoulder, praising her gently. “Let’s hear it for Fugo! The bravest of us all!” Kakyoin cheered loudly. “You’re the King of the mountain!” Polnareff put his arms up in the air as everyone chanted and Jotaro helped her to her feet. “Fugo! What’s wrong?!” his eyes widened as the girl cried in pain, putting her hands over her stomach, falling back to the ground. “He’s wounded! Get help!” he ordered, seeing blood seeping through her clothes

He tried to call out her name more, but she fainted on the spot, not able to keep more of her strength.

They quickly put on the medical tent and had her inside, the doctor working on her, and just as she briefly regained consciousness, the physician went outside, whispering something to the captain, while the trio was waiting, almost as burnt, to see if their friend was okay or not.

Shocked at the news, Captain Kujo stormed inside the tent, seeing as she slowly and weakly fluttered her eyes open.

She looked at him with a soft smile as she mustered enough strength to raise, only for the blanket to fall off and reveal her bandaged chest.

Poor Y/N realised she was screwed in that instant.

“I can explain!” she tried to reason, but just then, Enyaba also burst into the tent. “So it’s true!” she screeched like a banshee. “Jotaro, wait, please-” she tried to call out and explain, only for the hag to drag her out of the tent. “I knew there was something wrong with you! A woman!” she took off Y/N’s hair from the bun, making everyone gasp as the hag threw her on the snow. “Treacherous snake!” she kept spewing venom at the girl. “My name is Y/N! I did it to save my father. I never had any ill-intentions, I promise!” she pleaded to Jotaro, but the hag kept shrieking. “HIGH TREASON!!!” she echoed through the mountain. “I didn’t mean for it to go this far! I just didn’t want my injured father to have to die!” she begged for understanding. “ULTIMATE DISHONOUR!” she continued screaming around, annoying the brunet man. “It was the only way, please believe me! I couldn’t send my little brother, he’s barely 5 years old! And my father can’t even walk without a cane!” she almost started crying on the ground.

Jotaro looked at the girl on the ground, looking at him with pleading eyes as she kept the blanket around her, and he made a decision. He strutted to her horse, taking her sword and walked to her, while someone had to restrain her panicked horse and Enyaba had to scold her 3 friends that were freaking out and trying to plead for her life.

Seeing the look in his gorgeous aquamarine eyes, she realised the had no life ahead of her, so she hung her head down, awaiting decapitation... Only to see her sword in front of her.

“Yare Yare...You put me in a horrible situation. A life for a life. My debt is repaid.” was the only thing Jotaro could say as he turned his back to her, unable to look at her pitiful form, commanding his troops to walk away, leaving her there, alone and wounded. “But captain-” Enyaba gaped at his decision, only for the man to take her by the neck of her robes, glaring at her harshly. “I said. Move. Out.” he growled, throwing her away harshly.

All the girl could do as she watched everyone turn her back to her, was to get dressed and spend the harsh night with her companions, as she was wallowing in self pity, hatred, disappointment and a gazillion of other emotions.

“I should have never left home...” she sighed, looking with dead eyes in front of her. “Hey, come on, don’t say that. You went to save your father’s life. Who knew you’d end up shamin’ him and disgracing your ancestors and losin’ all your friends? You know, you just gotta...You gotta learn to let these things go.” Iggy tried to explain, while also close to tears. “Fuck the ancestors and all that honour shit...Also...Maybe...Maybe I didn’t even go for my father. Maybe that was just an excuse. Maybe all I really wanted was to prove that I could do things right...So when I looked in the mirror, I’d see someone worthwhile....But I was wrong. I see nothing.” the girl shed a tear, throwing away her helmet and huddling closer to her blanket.

Poor Iggy tried to make her feel better by joking around, saying the helmet wasn’t clean and that’s why she didn’t see what she desired, but she couldn’t even look at him, because of the shame.

“Okay, maybe we’re both frauds. The ancestors didn’t send me, they don’t even like me.” Iggy sighed, looking annoyed at her. “That makes both of us.” she managed to whisper. “I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions.” Iggy tried to console her, earning a little smile. “Huh?! What do you mean you’re not lucky?! You LIED to me?!” Iggy gaped at #5 who was crying on the helmet. “And what are you, a sheep?!” he yelled at the horse in frustration. “I’ll have to face my father sooner or later...Let’s just go home.” she sighed, looking down. “Yeah...This ain’t gonna be pretty.” he agreed with a self-deprecating groan. “But don’t you worry, okay? Things will work out. We started this thing together, and that’s how we’ll finish it. I promise.” he hugged the girl with a wholesome grin. “Thank you, Iggy. I needed that.” she smiled, kissing the top of his head.

As Y/N was readying her horse to go home, she heard a loud roar, and upon further inspection, she saw the Hun leader, Dio Brando, was still alive, along with some of his trusted men, making their way to the Palace.

She quickly jumped on the horse, ready to alert everyone, before Iggy stopped her by clearing his throat.

“Home is THAT way.” he pointed with his paw in the opposite direction. “I have to do something!” she reasoned sternly. “Did you see those Huns?! They popped out of the snow! Like daisies!” Iggy yelled at her to get her shit together. “Are we in this together or not?” she asked for the last time. “Well, let’s go kick some Hunny buns!” he smirked, along with #5, as they both jumped on her horse and made their way to the palace.

At the Palace, there was a huge festival, to celebrate the Heroes of China who managed to defeat the Huns, Captain Jotaro being in front of everyone.

However, the girl galloping there earned quite a few gasps from her peers.

“Jotaro!” she called out, riding besides him. “Y/N?” his eyes widened at the sight of her. “The Huns are alive! They’re in the city!” she warned him quickly. “You don’t belong here, Y/N. Go home.” he grunted, riding further ahead. “It doesn’t matter, I’m here to warn you! I saw them in the mountains, you have to believe me!” she, once again, tried to reason with him. “Why should I?” he glared at her, speaking in a low tone. “Why else would I come back?!” she asked, frowning at him as she blocked his horse with her own. “You said you’d respect and trust Fugo, so why is Y/N any different? You think she’d lie about something as grave as the Huns?!” but the man looked away from her, galloping further. “Keep your eyes open. I know they are here.” she warned her friends as she rode away from there, thinking up a plan to alert someone who would believe her.

In the middle of the plaza, where the Emperor’s stairs were, everyone was gathered, watching the fireworks and cheering.  She saw Jotaro and the others making their way in front of Emperor Joestar and as she tried to warn random citizens, she realised that, once again, her words had no meaning, as she was a mere woman.

Emperor Joseph waited until the drums fell silent, so he could speak for everyone present.

“My children, Heaven smiles down upon the Middle Kingdom! China will sleep safely tonight thanks to our brave warriors.” he spoke as everyone started cheering loudly. “Your Majesty, I present to you the sword of Dio Brando.” Jotaro bowed in front of the elderly man, showing him the sword of his enemy. “I know what this means to you, Captain Kujo. Your father would have been very proud.” however, just as he was going to get the sword, the nasty hawk, Pet Shop, snatched it away with a loud screech, making everyone gasp in shock.

Up, on the room, disguised as one of the dragons, the sword was given to Dio Brando. As if on cue, the huge red dragon was torn apart, many more huns getting out of there, fighting the soldiers, while 2 of them stole the Emperor away, and many others guarded the inside of the palace.

Only Dio’s taunting laugh could be heard everywhere.

Jotaro and his soldiers tried to use a stone statue as a ram and open the doors, but it was to no avail. As soon as she realised they were wasting time, she ran up to them, whistled for their attention, telling them that she has a much better idea and to follow her.

Of course, her 3 friends shrugged at each other, and with large smiles, they rushed after her, letting only Jotaro the Fool bother with the impossible stone statue.

She took away their armors and gave them women clothing, hairstyles and make ups, and so, they all used their sashes as whips, looking at each other confidently, mischievous glints in their eyes, ready to take action...

And hopefully keep the fruits replacing their boobs on their chest, unlike Kakyoin’s moving apple.

They used their sashes to climb up the pillar, just like they did before with the weights, grinning at each other, only for her to feel a tap on her shoulder as she was tying of her sash on the pillar -

It was Jotaro, looking at her with a confident smile, using his cape to replicate what she was doing, obviously proud with her witty plan.

The 4 of them looked with glee at their captain as they started climbing up the pillar with ease, ready to take down the huns and save the Emperor.

As they reached the top, they could see 2 huns looking alike guarding the balcony where the Emperor was held captive.

“Okay, here we are. Any questions?” she asked them in a quiet voice. “Does this dress make me look fat?” Polnareff asked, fixing his dress. “Yes.” Kakyoin chuckled, only to earn a slap.

And so, Y/N and the 3 ‘women’ started walking towards the huns, giggling and looking at each other.

“WHO’S THERE?!” one of the brothers asked loudly. “Concubines.” the other one replied with a disgusted look. “Ugly concubines.” he rolled his eyes, lowering his weapon. “Awww, he’s so cute!” the girls giggled behind the fan as they got in front of the brothers, and while they managed to charm one of them, Kakyoin’s half-eaten apple- boob fell from his robes, and for some reason, Pet Shop noticed Jotaro hiding and facepalming at the scene as well.

Thankfully enough, the stupid Hawk could do no further damage as Iggy started biting and munching on it, making it looked like a featherless chicken as it tried to fleed the scene in embarrassment.

The charmed older brother bent down to pick her apple, only for everyone to take out their boob-fruits. Avdol his his watermelons on their heads, making them hit each other, Kakyoin shoved the un-bitten apple in Sett’s mouth, hitting his legs, making him fall to his knees as he hit him with a well aimed head hit, while Polnareff was getting rid off Vanilla Ice and Y/N was fighting Anubis, using the bow to strangle him, yelling out for Jotaro to go ahead and rescue the Emperor, as he was the only one powerful enough to do so, nobody knowing Dio’s Stand powers.

---

Up there, Dio looked at the elder Emperor, hanging upside down, saying a mocking “Boo!” as he jumped down on the railing, looking down at him with a mocking grin as he ordered the 2 D’Arby brothers to guard the doors.

“Your walls and armies have fallen and now it’s your turn. Bow to me, Joseph Joestar!” Dio ordered loudly.  “Sorry, Dio, but I have some sad news for you. Your next line will be : I tire of your arrogance, you old jeezer! I said BOW TO ME!...Am I correct?” Joseph smirked, feeling proud for using his younger self’s gimmiks. “I tire of your arrogance, you old jeezer! I said BOW TO ME!....Huh?! What the-” Dio sneered in rage, realising that he fell into the old man’s trap and so, he put his sword to the Emperor’s chin, only for him not to flinch. “No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it. Or so my grandfather Jonathan, the previous Emperor, said.” he shrugged, feeling confident. “Then you will kneel in pieces!” he was ready to to stab the man, only to have Jotaro use Star Platinum to throw open the doors and punch the enemy away from the Emperor.

Taking out The World, Dio punched Jotaro out of the balcony, but he was quick to grab the pillar and rotated well enough to jump and punch him with his own fists, straddling him. In retaliation, Dio punched him back, getting on top, and so, they wrestled for dominance back and forth.

While Jotaro was trying to defeat the enemy, Y/N told Avdol to rescue the Emperor and get him to safety, while she tried to think of a way to aid her Captain.

She showed her friends the rope with paper lanterns, and apologising, Avdol used his Stand to pick up the Emperor and slid down the rope using his sash, while Dio roared in anger, giving Kakyoin and Polnareff enough time to slide down the rope as well.

“THE WORLD!” Dio yelled, and the next thing anyone knew was that Jotaro was on the ground, bleeding, and nobody had any idea how that happened. “Y/N, come on, hurry!” Polnareff kept yelling at her, but she couldn’t let the man she grew so fond of die by the hands of the enemy.

As she saw Dio approaching, she quickly picked up Dio’s discarded sword and cut the rope, giving Dio no chance to get closer to the Emperor. Everyone was cheering for that success, while Dio could only stare in shock and horror at the infinite crowd, not able to spot the Emperor no matter how hard he tried.

“You! You took away my victory!” Dio roared as he used the hilt of his sword to punch Jotaro again, picking him up by the front of his armor, ready to stab him in the heart. “NO!” Y/N yelled to take away his attention, as she took out her Stand, burning his cape. “I did!” she declared, looking at him sternly as she pulled her hair up to show that her and Fugo were the same person. “The soldier from the mountains. Oh, so it looks like you’re finally approaching me!” Dio gasped in complete disdain seeing the person in front of him, and so, he threw Jotaro away and started chasing after her, as she left the balcony, locking the door.

Of course, it was to no avail, as his Stand was powerful enough to punch through the door, and so, she had to run even more while thinking of some new scheme.

“So, what’s the plan?!” Iggy managed to catch up to her, and as soon as he realised she had no idea what she was doing, he gasped in horror. “YOU HAVE NO PLAN?!”  “Hey, I’m making this up as I...Go! Iggy!” she grinned at her companion as he used his Stand to fly himself and #5 to the other tower in front of him.

Just as he got away, Dio jumped next to her, punching away pillars, even the one that she managed to climb on, which in turn, broke through the wall, and she almost fell, were it not for her Stand helping her back up on the pillar.

The only thing she could do was jump and grab on one of the wooden ornaments of the roof, climbing up on it, while waiting for Iggy to fire away the fireworks.

She managed to get up on the top beam of the roof, and looked in the horizon, picturing her plan unfold, only for Dio to punch through the roof behind her, making her squeal in shock and walk away from him.

She tapped herself for any weapons, realising that she couldn’t rely much on her Stand, since it wasn’t as powerful as Jotaro’s or Dio’s, but the only thing she found was her fan.

Jackpot!

“It looks like you’re out of clever ideas.” Dio smirked down at her mockingly, as he stabbed through her fun.

Shockingly enough for him, she closed the fan and twisted it away, managing to easily disarm him and get his sword, getting in a battle stance.

“Not quite! Ready, Iggy?” she yelled, noticing her companion in the far back of the roof, a huge firework roped to his back. “I AM READY, BABY! LIGHT ME UP!” he cackled as the girl used her Stand to fire up the firework. “Bold of you to assume I can be defeated! THE WO-” he tried to say, but the girl started punching him, using his sword to stab his cape through the roof, rendering him unable to move, as the firework blew him away into the Firework tower.

The last thing echoeing throughout all China, that night, was a high-pitched “WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” left by Dio Brando, the now defeated Hun Leader.

And then he died.

“Get off the roof! Get off the roof! GET OFF THE ROOF!” she kept yelling to herself, running away, as she was thrown off the roof by the explosion, and Iggy managed to get to her just in time, getting her down on the ground to safety.

Well, not quite...

The Sand for his Stand quickly got used, and he dropped her, making her fall on Jotaro, and they both hit the ground, soon followed by Dio’s sword and Iggy with #5 who kept crying.

“DID YOU SEE HIS DUMB FACE?! Hahahaha! You, #5, are one lucky bullet!” Iggy grinned, chewing on some well deserve coffee gum.

And so, the sky was filled with fireworks of thousands of shades and colours, everyone cheering for their greatest enemy’s defeat.

“That was a deliberate attempt on my life! WHERE is she?! Now she’s done it! WHAT A MESS! STAND ASIDE! THAT creature is NOT worth protecting!” Enyaba screeched in rage, her hair barely escaping being completely burnt, as she walked down the stairs, hitting Jotaro with her cane, all while her friends and the captain were glaring at her. “She’s a hero.” Jotaro glared at the hypocritical old woman. “‘Tis a lying snake!” she retorted in disgust. “She’ll never be wroth ANYTHING!” she grinned at him condescendingly. “Listen, you fucking hag-” he picked her up, ready to use Star Platinum on her, but the Emperor’s voice boomed as he also descended down the stairs, looking sternly at everyone. “That is enough!” he spoke, catching everyone’s attention. “Your Majesty, I can explain-” Jotaro wanted to protect the girl, at least this time, but the Emperor raised his hand for him to be silent and for everyone to step away, allowing the girl to step forward and bow down lowly in front of the Joestar.  “I’ve heard a great deal about you, Y/N. You stole your father’s armor, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonoured the Chinese army, destroyed my palace...And!” he kept trailing on, making everyone cringe at everything he was saying, fearing for the girl who could only look down in shame and guilt. “And...You have saved us all.” he spoke in a much gentler voice now, patting the girl’s head, as he, shockingly, bowed to her, making the hag follow his action, but bowing on the ground, followed by her friends, Jotaro, who tipped his hat at her, before kneeling in front of her...

And the whole China bowing down on the ground for her.

“Enyaba?” Joseph called out to his advisor. “Yes, Emperor?” she quickly asked. “See to it that this woman is made a member of my council.” Joseph smiled gently at the girl, making the hag gape at his orders.

“Member...WHAT?! B-But-...?! There are no council positions open, Your Majesty!” she stammered over her words, feeling sweat go down her forehead. “Very well. You can have her job. After all, she is the...To quote her, ‘Treacherous Snake’ that sold valuable information to Dio Brando.” he chuckled, making us all gasp. “Wh-Wh-WHAT?! H-How could you p-possibly insinuate s-something like th-that?!” Enyaba stuttered, trying to say something. “My spies found enough proof. And, to go even further, your next line is going to be : That wretched girl planned it all, just to steal my position!” Joseph smirked, awaiting the result. “THAT WRETCHED GIRL PLANNED IT ALL, JUST TO STEAL MY POSITION!” she kept hitting aimlessly with her cane, only to stop abruptly as 2 guards picked her up. “Throw her in jail, for now. We will away public execution, a fate fit for a traitor and a liar. Until then, we should celebrate our true heroine.” the Joestar declared as his lackeys removed the hag from that place. “With all due respect, Your Excellency, I think I’ve been away from home long enough.” she smiled up at him with thankfulnes. “Then, take this.” he took off his star necklace and put it around her neck. “So your family will know what you have done for me...And, this.” he handed her the sword. “So the world will know what you have done for China.” hearing those words, she couldn’t help herself and she threw her arms around the unexpecting man, who only laughed mirthfully, patting her back in amusement.

After she was done hugging the Emperor, she went for a group hug with her lovely 2 friends who stood by her all the time and still looked as gorgeous as any ugly concubine would.

When it came to walking in front of Jotaro, however, the man was looking at her, trying to find out what to say.

“Yare Yare Daze...You...You fight good.” he patted her shoulder awkwardly, looking away, not without catching a glimpse at the girl’s disappointed face. “Oh...Uh, thank you, I guess.” and walked away, getting up on the horse. “Come on, darling, let’s go home.” she patted her horse as they descended the stairs, taking in all China’s cheers.

As soon as they couldn’t see her anymore, the Emperor stepped next to his Captain, clearing his throat.

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” he tried to sound wise and all, but Jotaro only looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m saying, go get her, already! You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty!” he advised, pushing him to go after her, as he only chuckled, put on his Emperor hat and left the place.

---

It took a while for her to return home, but the first thing she saw was her father, sitting on the same stone bench under the Cherry Blossom, looking at the pond, waiting for her return, as the flower petals kept swaying in the wind, reminding him of his daughter.

She softly stepped in front of him, making him gasp out her name in disbelief, almost fearing that he was hallucinating or seeing ghosts.

“Papa, I brought you the sword of Dio Brando.” she quickly kneeled on the ground in front of him, passing him the enemy’s sword. “And the crest of the Emperor!” she took off the necklace, giving that one to him as well. “They are gifts, to honour our family.” she tried to explain, unable to read her father’s expression.

As she hung her head, Abbacchio could only shed a few tears, throwing away the gifts and falling to the ground, hugging his daughter tightly to his chest.

“Silly girl, to hell with honour and whatever, it was all my fault that you went to war, only for my sake and my stupid words, nailed into my brain. The greatest gift and honour is having you as my daughter, Y/N.” he declared, caressing her cheeks, wiping away her tears, yet unable to do so for himself, before putting her in yet another loving hug. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.” he kept stroking her hair, trying to sooth her, as they both let all their emotions flow with no blockage. “I missed you too, papa...So much...” she ushered, hugging him tightly, not realising that the other family members came as well.

As Bruno could only sigh, feeling his heart finally at peace, seeing his daughter and his husband finally reunited, safe, getting along, and happy, the same couldn’t be said about the grandpa, who scoffed in annoyance.

“Great! She brings home a sword, veeery useful. If you ask me, she should’ve brought home a man!” Mista looked at the man next to him in annoyance, only to be interrupted by a rough voice.

“Excuse me, that Y/N live here?” he asked, holding the helmet to his chest.

The 2 men could only stare in shock at the man who magically appeared in front of them, able to only point at the girl and her father who were embracing each other in the garden.

“WHOO! Sign me up for the next war!” Mista grinned, not being able to peel his eyes away from the Captain.“Well, I suppose the Acenstors are finally doing their job.” Mista blinked, almost as if struck by lightning. “Now I have to start wedding preparations! Pistols, get ready for a nice feast!” he grinned from ear to ear, getting a hold of Bruno’s sleeves. “Come on, give them intimacy! Let’s go!” he dragged the younger man away from there.

Jotaro walked in front of Leone, nodding respectfully and tipping the front of his hat in front of him, trying to figure out what to say.

“Yare Yare, to think I’d actually be doing something like this...Ahem. Honourable Abbacchio Leone...Uhmm...Ah, Y/N.” he noticed the girl peeking stepping from behind her father’s tall figure. “You...Forgot you helmet.” he tried to hand her the helmet, only to stop mid-way, giving it to her father. “Well, I suppose it’s actually your helmet, isn’t it?” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Go get him, girl.” Leone whispered in her ear, patting her hair, nodding at her to take the reigns in her hands.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” she stepped in front of him, taking the helmet in her hands, smiling up at him. “Would you like to stay forever?!” Mista’s voice echoed throught he garden, making them hum in amusement as Bruno’s voice followed, scolding the man for being a hypocrite and spying on them. “Dinner would be great.” he smiled down at her with a tender smile that he never offered anyone but his mother. “Great.” the girl grinned at him, taking him by the neck of his armor and getting him to her level, kissing him tenderly. “Nice, very nice. But I think I liked the sight from back at the Palace...If you catch my drift.” the girl smirked mischievously, winking at him. “Yare Yare, what a troublesome woman.” he chuckled, putting his hands on her face and pulling her in another, even more tender kiss.

What they didn’t know what that the party already began at the shrine, as Iggy hit the gong for all the Zeppeli, Speedwagon and whatever other ancestors they had to join, all while annoying the hell out of Kars.

Somehow, Iggy hit himself enough to bounce back and find himself on the shrine stairs, and soon, Narancia’s childish giggles could be heard as he started running around him, and Y/N bent down to kiss the top of his head, thanking him for everything he’s done for her.

Of course, the chickens followed Narancia to the shrine.

CLICK HERE FOR :

PART 1

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 31

Last time: Roy gave Riza his number, war was hell, and there could only be one Doc. Onwards!

Envy is not happy to change jobs from Doc Marcoh’s waiter to Scar’s maid, cleaning up his latest mess of brain matter. And so much for the guard dog. Or dogs? There’s an empty collar… Riza’s seeing Ed out after tea, when Ed worries about her new job as a hostage she waves it off as a better chance to kill him in his sleep. That’s one way to look at it, I suppose. One message to pass on about Scar being back, and thanks for talking about Ishval, and Ed’s off. Quick, go save your brother from his new admirer! Episode 31 - “The 520 Cens Promise“ Cens? Is that like an Amestris version of a penny, or what? Ed catches up with Al at a clock-fountain, you can tell how much hearing about Ishval got to him when he calls himself “practically a kid”. And it definitely casts a light on Roy’s drive to become the Fuhrer, if it’s really just setting himself up for Mob Justice. Speaking of the future, they talk about their plans after they regain their bodies. Food for Al, of course, he should still be carrying around that “Stuff to Eat” book. Ed claims that he’s been so busy just trying to get his limbs back he hasn’t thought about what comes next. Maybe some courtesy calls NO NO NO NO Leto-damn it, boys! “Let Granny and Teacher know we’re all right”? “They’ve both helped us out so much”? “They’ll be smiling when they see us”?!?! Stop it, you’re signing their death warrants! Oh my Leto stop with the optimism, you are painting great big targets on yourselves for the Irony Gods. Moving on, moving on! Ed talks about his plan to get around Uncle’s Anti-Alchemy Field with Alkahestry, I’m a little concerned about that seeing as Uncle changed his method to counter Scar’s mixed style, but it’s still a starting point. Time to get lessons from a little girl! A little girl who has skipped town, apparently! Doc says she left his house/hospital that morning. Wow, I get that you’re upset Ed, but there’s no need to just hang up on the Doc like that. And people wonder why he’s snippy all the time. Now, how to track down the little princess? It’s not like she has a unique identifier like a foreign animal companion OH WAIT Elsewhere in Central, Havoc gets visited by Breda and a gift of dumbbells, a farewell gift before he gets shipped off to the West. Fuery and Falman catch up as well as the latter goes to drop off a chess board, Falman griping about the cold of the north. I feel ya buddy. Up in Roy’s office Riza stops by as well, to get a few things she forgot but also to tell him about Scar being back and tell him to take care of himself. Then it’s just Roy, on his own in a big empty room. No pawn (what, just because Fuery’s short he gets the pawn?), no bishop (always serious Falman), no rook (stocky Breda), no knight (poor Havoc), and no queen (CAN’T STOP THE SHIP). But don’t count out the wannabe-king just yet! He’s still in play. And so is the Conspiracy, hidden message in the king! Go Falman!

Hey, Ed? You might wanna work on your drawing skills, or at least don’t inflict your own Angry Gremlin art style on a poor panda. At least Al’s there to show people what it actually looks like, but the day goes by and they haven’t gotten anything. Suddenly the Colonel drives by and offers them a ride, as well as any leads on May he finds. Anyways, about that- Leto, watch where you’re driving man! Anyways, about that money that Ed borrowed to panic-call Winry? [Ed]: “You remembered?! C’mon, how much did I borrow, 500 cens?” [Irate!Roy]: “It was 520 cens!” Titledrop! Ha, nice. “I’ll pay you back when you become Fuhrer.” Now he has even more reason to wait why is the music menacing? Seriously, Roy? You’re asking how Ed learned of your ambition to become Fuhrer? It’s not like you’ve kept it a secret. A bit of snarking about paying back pocket change after each time Roy improves the country, seriously though the music is making what I would normally be chuckling at depressing as heck. Stop it. Alright, back to their ro- Person in the room, look out! Wait, who. Oh jeez, it’s Ling’s other bodyguard, uh… *rifles through past posts*. Fu, right! Last we saw he was escorting Ross to Xing. Yeah, so while you were gone a couple of things happened… Really, Roy? One day without your Conspiracy, and you go drinking. I am- [Roy]: “Hey.” [Bar full of ladies]: *turns* [Who dis?]: “It’s Roy! Well I’ll be damned. Long time!” What. Who are you and why are you hugging Roy. What is going on. Riza, Riza I need you to get over here now. Uh anyway, we have a new character in the owner of this ‘establishment’, Madame Christmas. *Sigh* Come on Roy, I know that you and Riza aren’t official, but you just called her your queen! Show some- Oh. OH! The epic plotting music has started up, Roy’s passed a note to the Madame asking for something special. Secret informant group, go! One that has a direct line to General Grumman, no less!

Mid-episode pictures of Roy scowling at his King, and That Ass Kimblee strutting around in his white suit from the intro. Uh oh. Fu is not happy with the bodyguard he left to watch his liege. Lost her arm, Ling got Goth’d, and now moping in a dingy basement. Look dude, with all the foes WHOA nope! No hitting the lady! I get that you’re upset, but she did the best she could! Then it finally sinks in that Lan Fan lost her arm. Wait, what? [Lan Fan]: “Please forgive me, Grandfather.” He’s your grandpa? I thought it was just a teacher/student job, but they’re family? Ouch. Still very upset with you for hitting your granddaughter, dude, not letting you off the hook. But yikes, this has got to cut deep. You leave for half a season, and come back to this. Alright, time for a roadtrip! Lan Fan needs to meet up with Winry in Rush Valley to get her new arm. Or not? Come on gramps, this it not the time for foolish national pride, you can’t just- Oh. Ok yeah, the Goths have seen Lan Fan’s face now and have already threatened harm to Winry unless Ed toes the line. If she patches up one of their foes? It sucks, but they have to find another way. Fu thanks Doc for saving Lan Fan’s life, and I’m sorry this is a touching scene and all but I can’t get over the magically floating cigarette whenever Doc talks. Sweet scene of him blustering and trying to act grumpy and all, but really. That cigarette. Later, ninjas. Gather your strength, save your young lord, and give that old fart back in Xing immortality (again, ruining any chance of Ling advancing, but whatever). Greed? You just take care of Ling’s body until we can kick you out. The Doc’s resting on his couch, now that he can actually use it, thinking about… um. Thinking about a basement operating table with corpses strewn around the room. Um. Whatever THAT was, it’s compared to May and Lan Fan thanking him for his treatment, which he scoffs at. Yikes. His grumpy attitude and self-dismissal make a lot more sense now. Knock at the door, Doc goes to answer- “Uh, g-good evening Dad. Good to see you.” “It’s been awhile, how are you?” This is his family? His ex and son who were in the area and decided to stop by? And for the son to say he plans to become a doctor? To the tune of tinkly music? Yeah, no. I call bullshit. This is some Goth nonsense right here, I’d say a trick of Envy except there are two people so I don’t know how. But no way this is happening, especially after the giant middle finger to the Irony Gods earlier in the episode. Bracing for awfulness! Dude is crying as he gets some cups for coffee, asking God for a break. Just asking to enjoy some time with his family.

Next day in Central, looks like a cell with OH FOR LETO’S SAKE NO. How does Kimblee have that Stone? Wow, really officers? You gave this Blood Knight the most powerful MacGuffin in your setting, and after he did your dirty work you expected him to just hand it over and file a report on the power he once wielded? How have you survived this long? So it seems Kimblee got arrested for their murders, but no one else knew he swallowed the stone so he’s had it since. But if that’s true, why the heck has he just been sitting around in a cell all these years, not even escaping when Mr. Freeze tried to recruit him? He’s being released? Wrath, what are you up to? I can only assume that you knew he at least had a Stone because the Goths spearheaded the whole process, so why keep Kimblee locked up all this time only to release him now? How does this help you? Could be a distraction for the Protagonists, I suppose. Oh! I see it now, it’s for Scar! Throw the murderer of his people and family at him so he stays away from you. Kimblee’s walked out by a grumpy Warden who might as well be talking about his retirement party in three days. Death flags everywhere for this fool. Kimblee’s outside at an open gate, turns around to shake the man’s hand- and Transmute a bomb to his wrist. Leto, that’s- a baby chick? Wow, ok. Strapping a fake bomb to the man, just to see his freakout? You’re an ass. So now that the jerk’s free, he gets waved into a car by a MP who yup is Envy in disguise, here to give Kimblee a job. Marcoh’s gone. Or maybe not? Oh yeah, that missing guard chimera. If Marcoh could transmute living tissue to make a fake body, ala the Ross Deception, then he could have escaped with Scar. So the job’s to kill Scar and retrieve Marcoh, and then wipe a- A town?! Holy Leto, they’re gonna target Resembool! Scar, kill this ass! Ugh, and then in addition to his hidden Stone Kimblee gets a fresh one from Father, made from the assistants of Marcoh that first time. Makes sense in a jerk way, I guess. If you have to kill off the witnesses, why not grab those souls they aren’t using any more? Scar and Marcoh are hiding out in an alley, Scar explaining that Marcoh’s more useful alive to provide info on Kimblee and info about his brother’s research. Right, there’s that whole thing about Amestris’ alchemy being strange, and not just in that it’s different from alkahestry. Oh, and May’s caught up! She’s curious about their new companion, Scar’s quick to shut that idea down. He’s just the guy who made the Philosopher’s Stones-

Bleh. May hears “immortality” and jumps on it, she’s tugging on Marcoh’s sleeve and begging him to teach her how to make a Stone. Little one, stop. You have no idea what the true cost of a Philosopher’s Stone is. You can’t- Ah. I can see Scar’s logic here: better to remove the temptation now. I guess Marcoh is… still alive after that HoD? Oh yeah, the doctor is kinda recognizable, needs a new face. But wow dude, dick move to just grab him without any warning. Now, time to go and get his brother’s notes… In the north. Looks like everyone’s going to Drachma! Time to break out the winter outfits!