#grief is surely the most powerful tool to make an existing love stronger than before

[domestictetsurou]

caleb girlies, hear me out... idk about you, but is this how it feels like to finally have a true main LI??

i didn't have any interest for the other LIs at first, but then chapter 4 came... and instantly, caleb was my first love. (as u can see from my username, i'm weak for guys with big domestic energy 🥺)

but then they blew him up. i cried. i grieved him. i continued going forward but i found myself keep rewatching chapter 4 over and over again (i've probably done it hundreds of times by now).... i missed him. i missed him so much, so often, it sometimes feel miserable. only able to hold onto scraps infold provided of him (1 chapter, 1 call, short message...). relying to fanfics and fanarts for comfort... because what else do we have of him?

but now he's here… he's back... we're gonna have more of him.... and i guess the months (almost a year) worth of grief exploded inside me??

i seriously can't think about anything else. the live announcement came with heaps of info but i don't care about everything else. i just want caleb to come home soon.

i want to know his story... how he survived, what happened to his arm, what's with that sad room and his nightmare and the gloomy environment and the holding onto the necklace? (i want to comfort him, the trailer was so heartbreaking 😭)

i want to soon unlock our memories, all the 5⭐ and 4⭐ cards to come, i want them all…. i wonder what experiences we'll gonna have with him...? will we have lots of domestic moments? (i hope we do) and OUR PAST LIVES? i want to know our past lives so i'd understand his perspective and i'll make sure to love him more afterwards 😭

does he still have that kindhearted, caring, doting, reliable older brotherly figure inside of him? will he show it to us in the main story? or will it be full on villainous and angsty? how is he living his life now? does he even feel "alive"...?

this is crazy... i yearn for him so much i have dreamed of him for 2 days straight by now… 😭😭😭 and i think i get why infold released the trailer on friday night. THEY WANT US TO THINK AND GUSH ABOUT HIM NONSTOP IN THE WEEKENDS DON'T THEY??!?! 😭😭😭😭 they know i wouldn't be able to function if they released him on weekdays. 😔

so... is this how it feels like to have your main LI alive? i'm sorry my other guys, but all my attention goes to caleb now. i don't even know why, i just have no interest to even unlock the other LIs upcoming FREE cards, all i need is just caleb and caleb and caleb..... 😭😭😭

[aworldforgirlslikeus-blog]

Greetings all!

I’ve decided to start this blog to keep track of some of my interests, particularly my reading life. I’m a librarian, and I read a lot of different books that cut across many different genres. But I’m particularly passionate about romance novels, because that’s where I get my daily dose of much-needed female gusto and hero-ine-ism. But I wasn’t always a romance reader. In fact, I didn’t discover romance novels until I was an adult in my 30s. Oh sure, I read some titles that you might consider “romance adjacent,” such as YA titles that featured love stories. I also read fantasy and sci-fi novels that had romantic pairings aplenty, and some pretty risque erotic scenes. 

But pure romance novels? Those trashy paperbacks with half naked cowboys or Scottish kilt wearers with rippling abs on the front? No way! I considered myself a well-educated young feminist, and I bought into the negative hype against these novels hook, line, and sinker. I truly thought they had nothing to offer me, and I believed critics when they claimed that these sorts of novels were poorly written, full of sexist stereotypes about both men and women, and backwards-thinking about sexual situations.

So I grew up never reading romance, although I read widely in pretty much every other genre. That is, until the day that something strange happened.

I remember I was waiting in line at a CVS for a prescription because I had just gotten out of the hospital. I was suffering not only from a strange and mysterious illness that had sent me to the hospital with uncontrollable vomiting, but also from the traumatic and sudden death of my mother a few months prior.  Everything in my life was spiraling out of my control, and it sounds cliche to say it, but it’s true - my entire life was full of darkness. I couldn’t see any way out or any kind of way forward. I had always considered myself strong and independent, but the trials I was going through at that time were so far beyond me that it constantly felt like I was drowning in my own terror and sorrow. 

But while I was standing in that line, a book happened to catch my eye: Julia Quinn’s “The Girl with the Make-Believe Husband.” At the time I thought it would just be something amusing to read for a few hours. And if it was awful, I figured I could always regift it to the Friends of the Library in a resale.

But instead of just being a pleasant diversion, this truly remarkable book wound up changing my whole perspective on the genre. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it definitely was a pleasant diversion. It took me away from myself and my problems for hours and hours. However, even more than that, it was incredibly well-written and witty, and it was chock-full of playful banter and dialogue that made me laugh out loud, and an engaging plot line that had me turning page after page trying to figure out how it ended. And that’s all before I even mention the sexual tension! Whoa boy, that was also pretty engaging, to say the least! 

When I turned the final page the story had resolved itself in a very satisfying way. However I wasn’t satisfied at all - I wanted more books! I immediately sought out more books from Julia Quinn, and started a steep nose dive into the romance genre as a whole, one I haven’t been able to pull out of since. 

Romance novels are truly delightful to read for many reasons, most of which I’ve already listed above when talking about Julia Quinn. Romance novels tend to be incredibly well written (no matter what many critics might want to say), and they have to be, because romance readers are some of the most discerning critics out there! Historical romance readers know so much about their favorite time periods that even mentioning the name of a color that didn’t exist during that time period could be a potential criticism. 

Romance novels also need to have gripping plot lines that truly draw you in from start to finish. There are so many of them sitting on the shelves that if you don’t open one and know from the first line that you simply have to read it, then it’s not going to flourish in this genre. There are so many introductory paragraphs that have totally sold me on a book before even looking at the description, and when I try to compare regular fiction titles to romance in this regard, there’s truly no contest - romance novels win every single time! 

And a lot of this has to do with the witty writing that romance writers employ. Some of the wit is humorous and some of it is not, but in a genre that was (arguably) birthed by Jane Austen, is it any wonder that romance writers are some of the best at engaging dialogue and eviscerating takes on the foibles of every day life? 

All of which leaves out the beating heart of romance novels: the characters! Speaking of Jane Austen, just say the name “Mr. Darcy,” and think of the powerful feelings that name has conjured up in legions of Austen fans around the globe. Some men may be groaning as they read this, grumbling to themselves that that’s really all romance novels are, just hot men that make women have impossible standards. 

But I counter that with these words: Elizabeth Bennet. Because in the end, who is more important to the plot and final outcome of Pride and Prejudice, her or Darcy? You could say, “Well sure, Darcy must be more important, without him there’s no romance at all!” But the real reason why the love story happens in this infamous novel is not because of Darcy at all. It’s because of Lizzie, and the powerful awakening that happens internally that changes her into the woman who Darcy eventually marries.

Just like most heroines, Lizzie starts off with a blockage. This is often the reason why the heroine’s life is a bit stunted or unfulfilled. These reasons are often internal fears or worries that then manifest themselves as external issues in their work or love life. So the heroine must then make a journey to resolve those issues, and she is often prompted either by the obstacles presented in the plot or by the appearance of the hero to do so. My favorite romance novels usually revolve around a plot that challenges both the heroine and the hero to overcome their issues at the same time, and this dual “awakening” of consciousness is the hallmark of every great romantic story (in my humble opinion of course). 

In the end, romance novels are not about the shirtless hunk of man meat on the cover. Romance novels are actually about the heroine and her internal journey as she struggles to come to an awakening in her own life that leads to a sense of empowerment that then changes her life and allows the romance to flourish. Her romantic success is not her primary attainment in the story, although that’s what some people choose to focus on. The reason that she gets the romantic happy ending is because she’s already done the hard work first - that of finding true fulfillment in herself. That is to say, the man isn’t the birthday cake, he’s just the icing on top.  

So apart from being great entertainment, romance novels also provide a wonderful road map to a more fulfilled and joyful life, because they show how you can go from a blocked or stagnant life to a more open and passionate one. Sure, we might not all find a Mr. Darcy (although we sure can hope for one!), however we all can undergo our own personal awakening to find greater pleasure in life via a job change, a new hobby, or a more expanded social network of friends. 

And yes, you can’t take everything in romance novels literally. Most of the action that takes place is a bit more exaggerated than what actually happens in real life, but the heart of them beats to the drum of the emotional truth of life, and in the end, that’s what I think I find truly inspirational. And yes, I also admit that there are other issues with the romance genre that need to be addressed, such as having more representation of diverse authors and characters. I’m glad to say that I think the genre is moving in this direction, but there’s still a great deal more work to be done in this area. 

In the end, I’d like to say that romance novels helped to cure me of the terrible grief that consumed me in the wake of my mother’s death. That they somehow made me stronger, or showed me a positive path forward. But that really wouldn’t be the truth. Years have gone by at this point, and I’m still struggling. But romance novels have given me some important survival tools. 

For instance, the humor in them reminds me of the joy that’s still left in the world, and their intricate and involved plot lines help me to escape to another world when living in the real one sometimes becomes unbearable. The heroines found within the pages also help to motivate me to reach my fullest potential, and remind me how important it is to forgive myself when I sometimes fail to reach that potential. 

I’m truly inspired by romance novels, no matter what the haters might say. And I hope that this blog helps to spread the gospel of the romance novel to others who may never have heard about them before, or may never have considered what these novels have to offer them. After all, there might still be women out there who, like me a few years ago, don’t know that it’s okay to ignore the naked man on the cover, and focus on the true message of the story, which I would like to argue is female (and male) empowerment.

Can you imagine standing inside of a bookstore and seeing signage for “Female Empowerment” instead of “Romance.” What a concept! For now, I’ll still be proudly staking the shelves, looking for new reads and suggestions. Hopefully you will be too :) 

xoxo, Jessica

[chiisana-sukima]

The Eldritch Bunker

***Collaboration Welcome. Add Your Headcanon Too***

...because we are going to continually expand these characters                    -Jerry Wanek (thanks, @hazeldomain, for the production shorts!)

@chiisana-sukima (that’s me!) wrote, in a post that didn’t work for adding, because reasons: I think the Bunker is a Good Puppy, and loves Dean, Cas, and Sam all. But because it is a Smart Puppy, it tries really hard for each of them, but sometimes the outcomes aren’t quite what a Human might expect.

Cas and the Bunker understand each other the best. Cas understands about the Bunker being a deeply, weirdly inhuman creature whose existence is too large for mortals to fill. And the Bunker knows Cas gets bored and lonely at night while his human friends are sleeping. So when Cas wanders through the Bunker at night, the Bunker lets him explore its maze-like recesses and dimensions full of wonders and magic that Dean and Sam will never see. When morning is approaching, Cas has to gently remind the Bunker that it’s time for him to go back up to the surface levels where Sam and Dean live, so that the Bunker can lead him out, because even Cas can’t find his way back on his own.

For Dean, there’s an alcove off the garage, full of tools and parts for all the classic cars. And sometimes when its in an especially helpful mood, the Bunker leaves parts for Baby around too, or a better brand of oil than Dean usually buys, and Dean feels suspicious, because how could the MoL have had any of those things, but maybe Sam picked them up, but Sam’s not really into cars…. sometimes it’s best not to question. 

And also for Dean, the way to the dungeon is a little straighter, the corridor a little wider, the locks a little stronger, the soundproofing perfect. The holy water is always well-stocked and the salt never runs out. In the shooting range, the targets are far enough back that they’re right on the edge of Dean’s ability, so he doesn’t just keep getting useless bullseyes over and over. The bunker makes no judgements; it was built for war.

For Sam, one might think the library would be perfectly organized, all the information Sam could want catalogued and easy to find. But the Bunker knows Sam better than that. Sam likes a challenge, and the Bunker likes to learn. It scatters things around for Sam. There are always cluttered new storerooms, another archive, more magical tools to sort. That way Sam will have things to occupy his mind. He’ll make new connections, figure out things the Bunker didn’t know itself. 

And Sam’s room- the Bunker is still angry that Lucifer managed to find it. It’s the best warded room the Bunker has, radiating a false nonexistence so strongly, that from the outside it’s barely there at all. But Cas had been to it too many times already before Lucifer occupied him, and Lucifer was determined.

The Bunker is determined too though. It won’t happen again. When Sam walks through the library, sometimes books fall off the shelves and land open to pages on complex warding patterns. If he’s not paying attention as he walks to his room, there will occasionally be an ancient clay jar of holy oil in the hall that he’ll somehow fail to notice until he’s already kicked it over and broken it. By now there’s a solid wall of holy fire soaked into the floorboards outside Sam’s door, just waiting to be set alight, and a fire spell has etched itself into the wood of the door frame.

@trisscar368  wrote: Sam’s room - yes PLEASE, because your idea of it being warded like that works perfectly with the fact that it keeps changing location.

The Bunker decided not long after the boys moved in that Sam would be safe when he slept; there were too many nights when Sam would still wake up breathless, the names of lovers and lost friends and tormentors alike all dying unspoken on his lips.  Too many nights where he refused to sleep until it was almost dawn, choosing to distract himself because the memories are just a little too close at hand.  So the Bunker cocoons his room away every night in the depths of the maze; it makes sure to have him back before morning, though it doesn’t always quite put him back in the same place, not after Dean snuck in that one morning to play music on full blast.

It hasn’t quite forgiven Dean for what happened under the Mark.  Oh, it doesn’t blame him particularly for destroying doors when he was a demon; he was a demon, he was barely the same creature.  The Bunker treated him as such - it has no eyes after all - trying to protect Sam by weaving extra passages between the two of them, only letting Dean find Sam when Castiel was close enough to help.  But since that last day with the Steins, with what happened in the library, Dean’s room has a habit of being slightly… misplaced in the morning.  Dean hasn’t said anything.  He still hasn’t forgiven himself, so why would the Bunker?

It wishes Cas would stay more.  It quite agreed with Kevin (oh, the Bunker tried to commune with Kevin’s ghost, but he just couldn’t hear the Eldritch being the way Cas can) that Winchester pity sessions are annoying.  Dean tends to be happier when Cas is around, and, well, the Bunker grew rather attached itself when Cas stayed those few weeks when he was ill.  It tries to feel more like home, this weird amalgamation of ideas and memories of all the people who’ve stayed inside its walls, but it doesn’t quite know what Cas wants; austere hallways of light?  Or dimly lit rooms smelling faintly of whiskey and leather and gunpowder.  Cas doesn’t know what he wants either.

The six weeks when the boys were gone were hard on both Cas and the Bunker.  He had a habit of forgetting the lights, wandering the halls in pitch black, losing himself in the grief and the guilt, trying to hide from the shadow of Lucifer.

Lucifer, now it hates Lucifer.  It hates the scent of rust that trails in his wings.  It hates how Sam stopped sleeping again when the boys knew Lucifer was free.  It hates how Cas sometimes wanders into the kitchen expecting to see a television on the counter, and stands there staring while he remembers where he is.

@floralmotif  wrote: Follow me below if you want to engage with headcanon speak dabbling in the idea that the bunker is an eldritch abomination. It’s just fun:

I’m actually not sure if it would like people in the same sense as a dog would. It would probably allow Cas a bit more reign just cause he can perceive it a little better and may be able to handle the concepts it presents without his brain shorting out. He may also be unaware of its nature on a conscious level. If this thing were actually a being, it would be pretty powerful even as presented. Amara needed Cas to find Dean in the bunker. This would mean that the bunker theoretically is more powerful than Chuck or Amara or is at least capable of hiding from them. It is no creature of creation. It just kind of settled there, perhaps drawn by the MoL or maybe it manifested on its own and they found it. They may be the only perception of human things its ever experienced. The Winchester’s found it after and it still had the same appearance. It’s possible it looks that way because the MoL were the first to meet it and the Winchesters don’t do anything to tell it any different. It may just be a void in reality with no perception that there is an outside at all. It’s like a computer display. It can display coffee as much as it wants but it doesn’t know what coffee is.

That being said, it’s a lot more fun to imagine it has a personality that can enjoy things and can create easy passage for sleepy Winchesters when it’s 3am and they have work to do. So Dean can find the kitchen easily even when it took him 3x as long when he was a demon. He doesn’t question it, neither of them do. It’s weird sometimes but they wave it on and the Bunker doesn’t mind that its unknown. It’s rather glad of it. No one has ever known it. The closest is maybe Cas but if Chuck didn’t notice the massive being of the cosmos, he probably wouldn’t either. Sometimes though, the bunker opens places for him. It wants to see how far it can go and Cas is a calm and curious being himself.

Perhaps it can sense intent or longing, or fear. It carefully arranges itself for whatever situation feels comfortable for it. The emotions of humans are perplexing but it isn’t a violent creature, it tries to avoid it.

                       (some shorter headcanons below the cut)

 @somekindofsaviour asked: Sam said in ep 12x12 that he has uploaded the Bunker library to an online archive. Don't you think that's really unrealistic? There must be thousands of articles and books in the library. The keywords alone would be a nightmare.

@grey2510 answered: I agree that it’s unrealistic. That kind of job would take FOREVER to do properly on one’s own, even if that’s ALL Sam were doing (and not ya know, hunting and making sure the world doesn’t end). (...)

Who knows. The Bunker already seems to have magical tech capabilities. Maybe it has magical digital archiving. Bonus feature!

@floralmotif​ (in response to a gifset where Mary is walking, and the corridors are going a different direction than usual): Now I’m thinking of an instance where the bunker gets Mary lost. She wanders around until finally getting to the kitchen and Sam and Dean think she’s slept in and she’s like “I got lost. This place makes no sense” and they both look at each other and offer her coffee in concern and confusion because they don’t perceive the Bunker’s nonsense most of the time.

@eruthiawenluin wrote:  #but what about when demon/MoC!dean is roaming the halls?    #and the bunker is //confused//    #because it can sense that there’s something wrong with him but this is //dean//  #but it tries to give sam some reaction time when dean’s after him    #and sam is almost killed for it and stays away from certain areas of the bunker   #and it kind of… panics?    #sam’s already hesitant to call him ‘home’ because of his history (and lack thereof) with 'home’  #so he’s always careful to create detours for sam   #the bunker is a bitter sam boy    

[ulrichfoester]

Let’s Talk About Addiction

Addiction – what is it anyway?

An addiction is anything that is hard to stop doing regardless of the negative affects it has on your life and the harm it brings to those around you. It feels like an intense need for a substance and this substance can take the form of food, cigarettes, gambling, sex, shopping, video games or alcohol – just to name a few.

Regardless of the form the addiction takes, addiction is common and shared among people of all races, socio economic backgrounds and education, basically no one set of people is immune to becoming addicted to a substance or behavior and People from all walks of life are affected.

Though addiction is common place, many people suffering from an addiction, including the friends and family members of those suffering are ashamed to talk about it. It is my hope this essay will help to keep the dialogue going, as talking about mental health issues and addiction is a step toward understanding and therefore healing.

Why Does Addiction Happen?

In my experience, having had a close friend addicted to alcohol and another to stimulants as well as my own struggle with a food, addiction is not caused by one single factor and it definitely does not show up because of mental weakness or a lack of willpower.

Research states however, that a few of the factors that affect the probability of having an addiction include genetics, our natural brain chemistry, traumatic childhood experiences, mental & emotional health (people dealing with depression and/or anxiety) and simply not knowing how to deal with stress.

Research also states that if one has parents that have or had struggled with addiction, that person will have a higher propensity of becoming addicted to a substance or behavior.

In regards to brain chemistry, addictive substances and behaviors increase the level of dopamine (a pleasure chemical) in the brain, which gives the feeling of positivity and good will. In my case, dopamine is released in my brain when I eat sugary and salty foods. In the case of my two friends they suffered serious childhood traumas, emotional and physical abuse and they never dealt with them, as they never felt they were able to talk about it to their families. This caused them to seek comfort in their substances. The fact of the matter is no one wants to feel pain; it is through their vices of choice that my friends found some temporary relief and a temporary escape.

Regarding mental health, (depression/anxiety) I know many people that suffer form anxiety/depression. In my case, as I am sure also in the case of my friends, our substances helped us deal with anxiety. When I was very excited or worried I would get very anxious and felt I needed food to calm my nerves. And there it was, my erroneous belief that food, my drug of choice would make my experience somehow better. My friends, I dare say, also self medicated with their own substances thinking it was the most effective tool in their arsenal to ease whatever trauma or discomfort they were dealing with at the time.

With that said…

With that said how many of us in some way look for an external source of power when dealing with our issues? How many of us avoid facing or torments and struggles? How many of us didn’t have to learn how to deal with our traumas, anxiety, and depression? The fact is, as humans, we will find tactics to deal with the traumas of life, some less obvious than others, some healthier than others.

For years people would go through the humiliation and shame of having someone in their family addicted to drugs or alcohol as if it is an attestation of the individuals lack of strength or lack of self-control.  Let’s me ensure I am crystal clear here: it is not!

Lack of will power has nothing to do with being an addict, relapsing or falling into old habits. If you don’t’ believe me just go ask anyone who has ever been on a diet.  Relapsing also has nothing to do with a lack of good intentions to stick to a program either, just remember when you started the gym on January 1st  and stopped going by the last week in February. Let us all think twice before we exalt ourselves over those struggling with recovery.

The work – paying attention to triggers

“…A person with mental illness can recover even though the illness is not ‘cured’… Recovery is a way of living a satisfying, hopeful, and contributing life even with limitations caused by the illness. Recovery involves the development of new meaning and purpose in one’s life as one grows beyond the catastrophic effects of mental illness.“ ~ Recovery from Mental Illness, William Anthony

Going deeper into my own issues, there are tools and lifestyle changes I had to incorporate in order to live a healthier life and I had to find ways to properly and effectively deal with stress. Psychotherapy, self help books, my spiritual practices, exercise and volunteering are all tools I still use. I also had to identify certain situations and people that are triggers for me and either avoid them all together or if I could not, pro-actively arm myself with appropriate affirmations & self talk to minimize the perceived stress these triggers would cause.

Coping strategies are therefore imperative and consciousness of the fact that major changes, a death in the family for instance can be a serious trigger. I experienced this when I lost my dear brother to senseless gun violence on July 1st Canada Day in Toronto 3 years ago. Remaining conscious through my grief, allowing myself to go deeply into my pain and not try to mask it helped me to avoid what could have been a major setback.

Then there are the days that stress compounds. Little two headed stress goblins seem to call on all their little stress goblin buddies in the universe to happen to you, and all the same time! It can feel as if there is a cosmic conspiracy against you to give you and only you a bad day, week, month! This is not the case, the universe is friendly and you must make the effort to fix the narrative in your head that claims otherwise. This is a part of the work.

Doing the work will also help you to do the work because it builds confidence, confidence that you can and will deal properly with the whatever stresses are flung in your direction. Fixing my narrative also opened me up to realize these stresses were a sacred and weird gift from the universe, they are opportunities for us to practice conscious thoughts, acts and practice using our tools. These stresses are here to help make us stronger and what a gift that truly is.

The road to success is often paved with relapse

Often times a relapse can feel like failure. I had seen my friend struggle with this: “Julia” he would say “I was doing so well… you know?… 7 months two weeks… you know?” The shame and the disappointment were, for lack of better words “too real” and have all heard the stories of folk being sober 11 yrs., 12 years etc. then suffer a relapse. The fact of the matter is, very often relapse is a part of the road of recovery. Again, Relapses have nothing to do with lack of will power and it definitely has nothing to do with a lack of good intentions. Having a plan in hand ready for when stresses do occur, can allow the addict to feel more in control when crisis do occur.

If you know someone suffering with an addiction of any kind the best thing to do is to encourage them and to be as informed as you can about the addiction and the factors that may trigger them. It is important as well to help the loved one change their narrative. Personally I had to reframe relapses, as I have had to reframe failures in business. Again, it is worth repeating, a Relapse should be seen as a disguised gift, an opportunity to learn ones triggers, and how to better deal with them. Again, a relapse is not a failure, it is a part of the journey to success, it is an opportunity to pinpoint what works and what does not.  

In conclusion – there is no conclusion.

Managing addiction is an ongoing process, think of it this way: any one of us can fall into the grip of anger or a road rage at any time, addicts have to be conscious that at any time there may be an external factor that wants to tip the scale and send them hurling in a less than healthy direction.

Understanding that recovery is not only a goal but also a process is important for the journey. It is learning how to truly live a higher quality of life and making space in your reality to being ready to receive that higher quality of life. It is recognizing and investigation ones own triggers and being conscious in decisions. Therefore, In conclusion, there is no conclusion in living with addiction. It is a journey, a continuing process into our highest selves, keeping the hope and the vision of the person we intend to become clear and in view at all times.

And Finally…

Though it is often said people need to hit rock bottom – I personally do not believe that is fully true, I think people need to hit “adequate discomfort” from the addiction in order to get to the point of surrender and none resistance. I also am an advocate of hope in the future. In recovery, without hope and a belief that we can have a better life and a better existence we would lack the motivation to even try.

 So The next time you meet someone or the family member of someone struggling with recovery, remember your own failed diet attempts, remember the times you started a gym membership on January 1st and quit by the 12th of February, remember all the times you needed a kind word, of encouragement and support, then have some compassion. Most importantly don’t be embarrassed or afraid to talk  about the addiction and be sure to listen, that is a gateway to the journey of recovery.

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