#grief and mourning rituals!!!

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(awhile ago, i played an ask game in which i was asked to make a story involve MCD and one of the answers i gave was: postcard from paris.

so...i present, a postcard from paris au. you don't need to read the first fic, just the second chapter and you're good to go.

xoxo)

greener grass (the greenest growing)

part 1: a beautiful day

Remus stood awkwardly in the corner of the drawing room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, looking out the open window at the blue skies that were a perfect contrast to the heavy velvet curtains and the mood from inside the house. Glass of wine in his hand, knuckles turning white from gripping the stem so hard, only half hearing Sirius's voice telling him he was an uncultured swine--a barbarian-- for letting his fingers touch the glass.

Remus didn't pretend to have a culture in the first place, glancing down at his feet where his black dress shoes were untied and scuffed on the toe. Suit and tie, dressed in a sort of costume he hadn't wanted to put on that morning before attending the service, caught somewhere at the intersection of denial, disbelief, and dread. He typically loved going to Number 12.

They had spent birthdays and New Year's there, celebrating milestones with joy the way Sirius and Kingsley knew how to do.

Going away parties and promotion parties.

Baby showers and welcome back parties.

And now they were here.

The house was filled with small talk and music from a record player that felt more eerie than ambient. It made Remus's hair stand on edge the way everyone passed along platitudes and placations; it made him roll his eyes when he walked in and saw security scanning people's wands. Death apparently wasn't a big enough occasion to warrant privacy, treating the service and the reception as another charity gala or event of the season. And not something terrible that had happened.

He took a sip of his wine, teeth on edge as a woman's overly shrill laughter rang through the halls.

It should have been Sirius's obnoxious laughter. Not hers.

Remus stepped towards the window, slumping over to rest his forehead on the glass, eyeing the white roses that framed the backyard of Number 12.

"I think he reinforced the glass, so if you're thinking of taking a nose dive..."

Remus pulled his forehead off the window and turned around over his shoulder to the sound of the familiar voice. Familiarity was supposed to bring comfort, or so the saying goes, but it sent knots straight to Remus's stomach.

Though, at this point, his stomach had been in knots for two weeks, what was a few more?

"Looks like I've been thwarted then," Remus murmured, not quite making eye contact with the man in front of him. James gave a half-grin that quickly fell from his face, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his hair.

Nearly 40 and he still had a full head, not a strand of grey in sight. Meanwhile, Remus had bags under his eyes the size of carry-on luggage and more grey hair than he could count.

"How are you doing, Moons?"

"That's a stupid question to ask. How are you?"

James opened his mouth and closed it again, walking into the drawing room after shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers, robes hanging over his shoulders. It was strange. James in all black, when normally James took every opportunity to wear bright magenta's and purples.

Yellow's and bright oranges, mirroring a sunset in the sky or extravagant city lights in the night. Remus had once thought James was the Eiffel Tower-- the real fucking thing that was it for him-- only to have the fantasy crumble when James hadn't followed through.

Again.

Leaving Remus waiting and disappointed.

Again.

Not that Remus had put the effort in either...again.

They went around and around, and now James was in black robes, and Remus was holding a wine glass, and they were in the same room for the first time in seven years.

"You're right...stupid question."

"Cheers," Remus raised his glass, finishing the contents in a long gulp.

"Is the wine good at least?"

"Would it be a Black party if it wasn't?"

"Not much of a party."

"That bint from the Ministry with the hat might disagree..."

"Oh, her..." James muttered, shaking his head, looking as if he was about to say something, but he stopped himself again. Remus knew that look--that feeling. He had been wearing it and feeling it for the past two weeks since he got the news.

"Yeah."

"I...I know it's been a while..." Remus snorted, "And I know...we kind of fell apart--"

"You make it sound like an accident."

"Wasn't it?" asked James, "We...were young. Some things work out when you're young, and some things...just don't."

"I don't think that changes because we're older..." Remus finally met James's eyes, hazel sending him straight back to their best friend's wedding.

“I told you we’re not doing this.”

"Doing what?" James asked hands paused on the belt buckle of Remus's trousers, identical robes already shed behind them in the bedroom of Sirius's villa in France, bottle of champagne on the dresser.

"This! What we always do!It's so fucking stupid. We pretend its forever and then it ends the same. You leaving for work, and then we write letters for another two weeks and promise to floo and visit and you send me postcards and pictures but we never end up meeting until there’s some…function. And that's what happens, every single fucking time. When Sirius moved out, when Sirius got engaged, now he's married and unless he gets married again, I don't know when the hell I'm going to see you!"

It wasn't a wedding.

"This isn't a wedding," Remus told him.

"I know," James swallowed, "I don't know how I'll get through it wit--"

"Dad-- there you are!" a third voice came and this time both Remus and James turned around to greet it, "Why are you two being all dodgy by the window?" Harry asked, adjusting the glasses on his face.

It was cruel torture, the way Harry had grown up to look so much like his father and haunted the halls of Hogwarts for Remus. The privilege of watching Harry grow tainted by memories of his father and what if's from when Harry was younger.

"Were you looking for me, Haz?" James asked a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, we're kicking people out now, Mum says we can do it but someone needs to go sit with--"

"Sure," James nodded and inclined his head toward Remus. They easily fell into step again, as they left the safety of the drawing room. Side by side, one foot after another, a single unit, but it never stayed like that for long. They walked through the hall, Remus listening to Harry and Lily move people out the front door.

Thank you for coming.

It means so much.

"He didn't even like half these fucking twats..." James muttered under his breath.

"Don't need to tell me that..."

"Good."

The casserole was delicious.

"It tasted like feet," remarked Remus and James coughed out a laugh, just before they came to the sitting room.

A casket in the middle of the room, white roses around the base.

Vacated chairs.

Velvet curtains wide open

And Sirius sitting on the edge of the couch, head in his hands now that the room had cleared out, fingers frantically combing through his hair over and over again.

Ordinarily, Remus would've made a joke about how he was going to go bald.

But it didn't seem like the time.

"Habibi," James said gently, sitting next to Sirius on the couch and pulling hands out of his hair to hold them instead, "Did you have the feet casserole?"

Apparently it was the time.

"Feet casserole?" Sirius responded quietly, still staring down at the ground. "I think its technical name is Widower casserole."

"Mmmm no, I'm pretty sure its feet," James corrected, turning his head to look at Remus, "Remus had some."

We make a good team, Moons.

"A whole big toe," Remus nodded, before taking a breath and crossing to the other side of Sirius, "Budge over, where are your manners?"

"In my husband's casket, I think..."

"I'll put mine in there too," Remus agreed.

"You didn't have any to begin with," Sirius retorted and nudged Remus lightly with his shoulder.

They were three again.

James.

Sirius.

Remus.

On a couch.

Blue skies behind their heads.

James hands holding onto to Sirius so he wouldn't slip away.

Life lines.

"We have a week. To sit here...and...be with him one last time..." Sirius said softly, lifting his head up from the ground, and staring at the casket instead. His jaw was tight, muscles in his hands flexing over and over again against James's. "You think that'll do it?"

"Do...what?" asked Remus

"Help this feel less shitty?"

"No," Remus said bluntly, leaning back against the couch to stare up at the ceiling. He felt two more thumps against the cushions in succession, seeing Sirius and James from his peripherals looking up all the same.

"But its...a beautiful day," James continued, "And...we're here."

Remus didn't have to look down to know it was James's hand on top of his knee.

Remus didn't even have to wait for the wine to kick in to know he would be absolutely fucked, once again, in ruins and shambles by the end of the week. It didn't matter that it was a funeral. It didn't matter that Remus had told himself he was too old to me making the mistakes of a twenty year old; thirty year old.

James's hand gave his knee a squeeze. An electric shock through his body, and Remus closed his eyes.

Here we go again.

[prehistoricmancunt]

"Spells are mourning rituals, and mourning rituals can be spells. When you light a candle for your deceased loved one, when you make a cup of coffee with them in mind, when you write them a letter then burn, bury, toss or save it, when you make a Morning Altar or do any other grief exercises I’ve written about before; if you do them with a certain intention, they can all become spells. 

And when you do any spell that centers on the life, death, and memory of your loved one, and the resulting grief, search for justice, peace, understanding, community, or fortitude to bear it all, you are engaging in a mourning ritual. Everything is everything.

In my dad’s house, he has my mom’s ashes, her funeral bulletin, her funeral card, sympathy cards, marathon medals, symbolic objects, trinkets, gifted art and books received after her death all on a shelf in his office. This is an altar, all it needs is intention.

Magic is in everything we do, whether we call it that or not. It doesn’t need to be the fairy godmother with her wings & wand, it can just be the kinetic energy of your body & love & intentions meeting the kinetic energy of herbs & stones & wind & candles & poems. Magic can be prayer & cooking & sweeping & kneeling & protesting & laughing & crying & grieving & mourning, it's doing it on purpose. Because my cells know their cells & your cells & those cells & its cells & her cells have all shuddered & undulated in the same big bang dust & universes & solar flares & the rain & the dinosaurs & & &&& …."

(excerpt from a substack post with a spell for justice, a spell for peace, and a spell for grief I'm working on)

[convexicalcrow]

An interlude, if that's the right word, for the Lost Prince AU. This scene has been in my head for months, but it became clear to me that it had to be a stand-alone piece. I can't just throw this into the third part and be done with it. And so I tried to write it a while back and got nowhere. So I left it. And as I was grinding the skele farm tonight, This Fic Decided It Wanted To Be Written, and so it has been. I am a little late going to bed as I have to be up early tomorrow for class, but I couldn't leave this one unfinished until tomorrow. It is done.

It does involve a mourning ritual, and addresses grief and ancestors and all that trauma, including references to animal death. It may be cathartic. It may not be. But be aware that's the content you're in for if you read this next part. It's short, but I cried a lot writing this. All the Feels came out for this one ngl.

[aimmyarrowshigh]

sometimes you read a post and go, "man, OP has truly never meaningfully met a jewish person, huh."

[greencheekconure27]

Olivia. Take the fool away.

Feste. Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.

Olivia. Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you:

besides, you grow dishonest.

Feste. Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel

will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is

the fool not dry: bid the dishonest man mend

himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if

he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing

that's mended is but patched: virtue that

transgresses is but patched with sin; and sin that

amends is but patched with virtue. If that this

simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not,

what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but

calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take

away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.

Olivia. Sir, I bade them take away you.

Feste. Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus non

facit monachum; that's as much to say as I wear not

motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to

prove you a fool.

Olivia. Can you do it?

Feste. Dexterously, good madonna.

Olivia. Make your proof.

Feste. I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse

of virtue, answer me.

Olivia. Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.

Feste. Good madonna, why mournest thou?

Olivia. Good fool, for my brother's death.

Feste. I think his soul is in hell, madonna.

Olivia. I know his soul is in heaven, fool.

Feste. The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's

soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.

[millennialgriefrituals]

Oddly Specific Grief Activities

I spent a lot of time looking for guidance on things to do while grieving. Many articles provided a good foundation, but I still struggled to find direction in ideas like “watch a movie” or “write what you’re feeling”. Trial and error—and then, remembering what you even did—can be difficult when you’re already emotionally drained. I will continually edit this post to track the specific things that worked best for me.

Updated 3/24/23

Watch a movie

Stand-up comedy specials – for when I needed something low-stakes, approachable, and couldn’t give attention to a backstory

Heist movies – good for getting through the worst time of day, which, for me, was the evening

Mockumentary-style TV shows – in addition to The Office and Parks and Rec, Peep Show and Zach Stone is Gonna Be Famous are absolute gems

Write what you’re feeling

Prompt ideas

What time of day is the hardest for me? Why?

What time of day is the easiest for me? Why?

Where does the grief hurt in my body?

What are some of the rituals I kept with the person or pet I’m missing?

What are some ways I might honor those rituals even though the person or pet is no longer here?

What is my favorite memory that best captures their personality?

What’s the funniest thing they ever did?

What did their hair/fur look like when the sun hit it?

What is my favorite spring/summer/fall/winter memory of them?

What is their version of heaven?

[feralprodigy]

A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

[biblebloodhound]

Face Reality (Numbers 20:22-29)

The ancients have a great deal to teach us, that is, if we have the spiritual and emotional ears to hear, and eyes to see.

Aaron’s Death, by David Roberts, 1842 The whole community of Israel left Kadesh and arrived at Mount Hor. There, on the border of the land of Edom, the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “The time has come for Aaron to join his ancestors in death. He will not enter the land I am giving the people of Israel, because the two of you rebelled against my instructions concerning the water at Meribah. Now…

[7outerelements]

I miss my dog. Still finding new memories that rip off the scab. Angry or sad or numb when I'm not sufficiently distracted. I really thought I could be more composed about this. Philosophical, even. Instead I'm berating myself for every evening I spent relaxing in the living room instead of sitting by her bed.

[flowersforthemachines]

Thinking about Rook and Harding's relationship through the lens of Varric's death like. It's crystal clear it has a big impact on Lace - she's angry and distraught in its aftermath, has to psych herself up just to approach the ritual site ("You need to do it, Lace, it needs to be done"). When Rook suggests that she can use her powers to protect people, the first thing she thinks about is that she could've used them to protect people who mattered to her.

But she sees none of that in Rook. Rook comes across as standoffish at best. "Varric knew the danger." There's no in-game chance to reach out to Harding to share that grief, talk about how it affected them.

But it's not like Rook has to do that, right? Maybe they are not that kind of person. Maybe they grieve, but they don't show it, maybe Harding realises she and Rook just aren't as close as she thought they were, and that kind of stings, but you know. What can she do?

But then things happen in the plot. Weisshaupt happens, Shathann, Cyrian. There are so many chances for Rook to express how sorry they are about someone's passing, the loss of life (and Warden Rook especially does not just observe loss, they experience it and don't have to hide it). Harding sees that Rook can reach out to friends in difficult times. They attend the funeral with Bellara, comfort Taash when they need it. They can grieve, and they can help someone through grieving.

And there's that certain feeling of misunderstanding, maybe a hint of resentment, that Harding, a people pleaser, wouldn't dare to confront. What can she say, even? Why are you mourning all those people and not our common friend? Why not Varric? Why not Varric?

Then, she either dies, never finding out the truth, or finds out the truth so late that the rift between her and Rook has become so big they can't just fill it in. She can't undo the way she had been feeling, feeling about something Rook had no idea about. Tricked by Solas, manipulated to think that Varric was alive. Robbed of the chance to grieve a friend together, time lost forever.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

WHUMP ALPHABET

*anything that can be triggering is most likely listed here, skip this post if you think it might upset you*

A is for asystole, amputation, amnesia, asphyxiation, asthma, autopsy, asylum, abandonment, anxiety, abuse, assault, aneurysm, anger, addiction

B is for blood, bruises, blunt force trauma, burns, bite marks, blisters, betrayal, beating, blindfolding, bondage, brainwashing

C is for cannibalism, cuts, convulsion, concussion, cardiac arrest, corpse, chains, cult, carnage, craniotomy, craniectomy, chest compression, choking, coughing up blood

D is for delirium, dehydration, disfigurement, dismemberment, demonic possession, death, dehumanization, degradation, depression, disease, drowning, distress, despair, dizziness, drug withdrawal

E is for exsanguination, electrical injuries, electroconvulsive therapy, electrocution, execution, exhaustion, eating disorders, emergency room

F is for fever, flu, fatality, flat-lining, fractured bones, fear, fatigue, force-feeding, flagellation, flogging

G is for garroting, gunshot wounds, grief, gallows, guillotine, guilt, gash, gag

H is for hypothermia, heatstroke, hallucination, hyperventilation, hemorrhage, handcuffing, hospital, hanging, hatred, hate

I is for intubation, infection, injuries, injection, illness, internal bleeding, intravenous therapy, insomnia, illusion, innards

J is for jealousy, jugular veins

K is for killing, kidnapping, knife

L is for laceration, lobotomy, ligature marks, lack of oxygen, loss of consciousness, lies, living weapon, locking up

M is for morgue, miscommunication, murder, manslaughter, massacre, mourning, miscarriage, masochism, mistreatment, manipulation, misery, mental illness, malnutrition

N is for nightmares, nausea, necrophilia, necrotizing fasciitis, necrosis

O is for outbreaks, obeying, operating theater

P is for physical restraints, pain, punishment, poison, panic attack, paralysis, PTSD, penetration, pierced lung

Q is for quadriceps tendon rupture, quadriparesis, Quebec platelet disorder

R is for ruptured blood vessels, respiratory failure, rabies, rape, rope, resentment, ritual

S is for schadenfreude, strangulation, starvations, shock collar, shock therapy, straightjacket, sadism, scapegoat, shame, sacrifice, sadness, sorrow, slaughter, suicide, self-harm, self-hatred, self-destruction, stabbing, slavery, seizures, stress, slash, suffering, surrendering, somnophilia, shackles, sepsis, surgery

T is for torture, trauma, tears, toxicity, trust issues, traps, tying up

U is for urinary tract infection, unresponsive, unconsciousness

V is for violence, vomiting, viruses, venom

W is for wounds, weeping, waterboarding, weakness, whipping, whimpering

X is for x-ray

Y is for yellow fever, yelling, yelping

Z is for zombie apocalypse

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Jan 27th

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1. Hii! I’m looking for a fic and it’s titled something around wondering if there is a place for me in your life. This focuses on teen lan sizhui coping with the feelings of his father wwx dating again after spending 11 (?) years without someone. Wei Wuxian goes to the hospital at some point (he’s fine though) and Lan Sizhui finds a way to invite LWJ into his life after breaking a gift he gave him. I can follow up with more details if needed! The author was trying to write about a-yuan not immediately warming up to wangxian getting together! Thank you so much for all your hard work!

FOUND! Picture Perfect by manaika (M, 22k, WangXian, WWX/Other(s), Past Relationship(s), Widower WWX, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Stepfather WWX, WWX is the father who stepped up, LSZ is a Wei, Single Parent WWX, Asexual Character, Aromantic Relationship, Platonic Life Partners, it's all in the past and only mentioned/discussed when relevant, Sex-Favorable Asexual WWX, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Modern, Past Character Death, Food Intake Related Medical Issue (not what you think))

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2. hi! I'm looking for a fic where WWX is seriously injured at qiongqi path, and he's barely kept alive by talismans(?). JC hides his body at lotus pier, but everyone thinks he's dead. idk how he wakes, but there's still the 13 year gap where everyone still thinks he's dead. sorry this is so vague, tysm in advance!!!

from the 1/27 fic finder: #2 isnt the fic im looking for, but thanks for helping out! the fic wasn’t a dark, anti-JC fic, but very much a JC loves his brother ofc hes gonna do whatever it takes to keep him alive. LWJ def thinks hes dead tho

NOT FOUND! on restitution by glitteringmoonlight (M, 98k, LSZ & WWX, WWX & JL, WangXian, Dark JC, not JC friendly, Captivity, Angst with a Happy Ending, no reconciliation, Crossdressing, Non-Graphic Torture, Violence)

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3. Hi! I'm looking for a fic that I'm pretty sure has been asked for in the past, that has been likely deleted, I know someone had the pdf but I can't find the post or the pdf anymore so I'm here–

I'm looking for a fic where modern wwx receives a book from baoshan sanren that tells the story of yllz wwx. Modern wwx reads a ritual and ends up in the past with everyone while past yllz ends up in the future. If I'm correct it's a two fic series, with the second one being incomplete where yllz goes to the future.

I also remember that modern wwx gathered people from each clan and talked about the future that he knows. I know that at one point he talks about his family (lz and sizhui). There's also a madam yu redemption, and at one point modern wwx calls fengmian dad? PLS HELP ME FIND IT @dollettw

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4. Hello!! I'm looking for a modern AU - what I remember is Lan Zhan seeing Wei Ying on tv and, like, knowing he is The One in a mystical way - I want to say that the process was called The Call or something, as in 'he heard The Call and knew WWX was his soulmate'. I think WWX was oblivious to this for Reasons (par for the course) - not sure if it was A/B/O but had something of that vibe! @stackingturtles

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5. hiiii im looking for this fic where lwj's mom is some kind of heavenly official and before she escapes her husband to return to heaven, she gives lwj a magical robe (or somethijng like that) that holds images of his memories, and every time something major happens an image/symbol of that appears on his cape @ashxi-wx

FOUND? One for Heaven and Earth by cerbykerby (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Supernatural Elements, Angst with a Happy Ending, Madam Lán Lives, inspired by wangxian selkie au, Getting Together) Mama Lan was a celestial maiden though, not a heavenly official.

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6. This is for fic finder btw. First thank you who ever runs this account. In the fic I’m looking for wei ying isn’t dead and is alive for Lan Zhans whipping/ punishment and he hears what’s happening and tries to stop it but Lan Zhang uncle just says to beat Wei Ying to (I think he was like really injured not sure tho). Then one of them ( whoever’s POV it was blacks out). There is a chance this was an omegaverse fic but idk. Thanks again your like gods 🙏🙏

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7. Ello! Looking for a lwj-centric fic that I forgot the name of (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠) Pretty sure this is an au where wwx is adopted by the lans, and wwx teaches the lan disciples about talismans. The thing I most remember about it is lwj being named rivals with su minshan and jiang cheng for the attentions of wwx. Wwx is also probably older? Thanks so much in advance!

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8. Hi!! does anyone know of a ghost wy fic where he teaches ayuan demonic cultivation and he kind of like follows him around and protects him? @yesibest

FOUND! as i stumble homewards by the_pretzel (T, 27k, wangxian, canonical character death, found family, food issues, trauma, LSZ pov, angst w/ happy ending, fluff)

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9. Hey guys do you know a fic when Lan Xichen started a different Gusu Lan sect that went back to the basic rules? I think the Lans dad was alive in it and he disapproved and was leading the other one. @kyuubikuroba

FOUND! In Defence of Murder by WhiteWitchDark (T, 18k, WangXian, NHS & NMJ, Hurt/Comfort, Time Travel, Angst)

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10. For fic finder

Does anyone have that fic where WWX gets turned into a woman post canon, he and LWJ decide to try for a kid, it doesnt work at first, when it happens LWJ thinks WWX doesnt want one anymore and tries to apologize for asking him to keep it?

WWX was fine with having the baby by the way, thinking he didn’t was because during the time it didn’t work they assumed it wasn’t possible and he decided he wasn’t going to dwell and make himself upset wondering why it didn’t happen

FOUND! In Sickness and In Health (And In Strange and Unexpected Times Too) by purplemonster (E, 28k, WangXian, Fem WWX, Mpreg, well technically not mpreg since he's a woman, Fluff and Smut, also I know I know I ticked the m/m box because it is wangxian)

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11. hello, i'm looking for an au where cultivators choose their secondary gender after "trying out" each one. Wwx decided on beta and LWJ omega. NHS was agender. At one point, LWJ is threatened/almost forced to permanently pick the wrong assignation for some reason. This fic was not the one by everythingispoetry, though there are similarities to their fic. Ty for your help!

FOUND? Pairfire by PaidSubscription (E, 65k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, JC/NHS, MM/WQ, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Relationships 101, Literally...the fic is a relationship course, Getting Together, First Time, Explicit Consent, Bordering on Kink Levels of Communication, Elements of Assigned-ish Marriage-ish, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, A/B/O With a twist, Because Cultivators CHOOSE Their Gender During This Course, After Trying Out All Three, It’s a Three Course Meal and WangXian’s Gender Acceptance is the Dessert, But Horny Pining is the Main Meal and the Most of the Snacks, Bottom LWJ, Bossy Bottom/Henpecked Top Energy, Everyone is over 21, Gender Choice Raises Issues for Most But I Promise Happy Endings + Everyone Comfy in Their Own Skin, Side Couple Aro/Ace/Agender Storylines)

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12. I've been looking for this fic for years now but I do remember the premise it's an postcanon AU?? where in a bid to stabilize the power WWX was betrothed to Lan Xichen and LWJ was not so happy abt the whole thing (I scoured my history and all but I cant find it)

FOUND? still left with the river by TooSel (E, 77k, WangXian, ChengQing, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Arranged Marriage, Political Alliances, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Slow BurnF, riends to Lovers, Pining, Jealousy, Infidelity, Adoption,Angst with a Happy Ending, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation Sect Politics)

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13. Wondering about the identity of a fic that I remember only one little scene from. LWJ was visiting Lotus Pier and decided to drink about all his pining. While drunk, he demonstrated his feelings to WWX by removing the strings from his guqin and saying "Wangji without Wei Ying". Hopefully this will ring bells for someone. Thank you! 🐇💙 @linderel

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14. looking for a fic! canon era/setting with a bad ending, where wx are ayuan's biological parents. ayuan lives with wwx and the wens in the burial mounds. wwx dies either from the attack at qiongqi path, or in the burial mounds for some other reason. I rmb vividly a scene where wwx is buried in the burial mounds and ayuan cries and lies above the grave, saying that his mother is gone, in front of everyone else like the lans, jins, and nies.

FOUND! To Offer a Heart by WhiteCrane (M, 111k, WangXian, major character death, Sad WWX, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, soft wangxian, Cinnamon Roll WN, WWX Whump, WQ is a good sister, WN is a good brother, everybody loves wwx, yunmeng siblings, Triggers, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Taking care of WWX, Give WWX a break, Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Changing Perspectives, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Getting Together, Redemption, Sibling Bonding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Sad and Sweet, Tragedy, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF JYL, BAMF WQ, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Everyone Needs A Hug, WIP) Is it possible #14 is mixing up two different fics? Because the bit about A-Yuan lying on WWX's grave in the Burial Mounds and crying about his mother sounds a lot like To Offer a Heart but he's not Wangxian's bio child in that. The bit where the visitors witness A-Yuan crying at the grave is in chapter 11.

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15. Hello, and thank you again for all your hard work! ❤️ For Fic Finder, please help with locating a fic where WWX dies and the truth about JGShit, JGY, JZXun and XY (maybe even SShit, idk) comes out immediately. Here's what I remember: he sent letter to expose them, people investigate and everything comes to light. Everyone except MY is executed in gruesome ways. JZX with lingchi I think. JGShit through being slowly impaled by bamboo. MY ends up giving his golden core to WWX when he comes back. @boxedbutterfly

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16. Looking for fic in which Wei Wuxian's core is given to yanli and it becomes too much for her body and the core explodes because of childbirth and she dies wei Ying is also like lab rat for all clans wanting to know how he cultivated core in such young age I also remember that mxy actually was the real parent of sizhui who was trusted upon weu Wuxian to raise and keep safe pls help me find the fix i would also like to thank you for all the previous times you all helped me <3 @yuukikonnos-world

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17. I'm looking for a story I thought I had saved: after canon, asexual WWX, married to LWJ, but in a female!MX body. They tried M/F sex, but both found it weird. WWX one day realizes that LWJ used to look at (old, male) WWX with lust, but no longer does. LWJ tells him he used to dream of bottoming for WWX. WWX wants to fulfil that dream for him, and (via NHS?) finds someone to create a wooden penis/harness. LWJ enjoys it a lot (WWX also likes being a service top essentially)

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18. Hello! I'm looking for a complete fic on AO3 where Qin Su did the sacrifice ritual to bring back Wei Wuxian. He is now a woman. She left him a letter explaining why/what she wanted, and he has to keep up the act of being Qin Su for a little while until he can come up with an excuse to get out of Koi tower.

I don't remember what he was running around doing once he got out, but along the way he bumped into Lan Wangji, who is travelling with "Mo Xuanyu" investigating the demonic arm.Mo Xuanyu actually summoned Jin Zixuan using the ritual, though I don't remember if that was on purpose or if JZX was just the next best target with WWX already summoned. Because of Qin Su's letter to WWX (? They knew somehow), JZX knows that WWX is technically his sister now.

I don't remember much else apart from some minor stiff arguing on JZX end because LWJ is seducing his technical sister or something like that. He's not impressed/pleased. WWX is just as happy about being related to the peacock now. LWJ realises he is WWX-sexual. Yadda yadda.

Based on other fics I know I read around the same time, the publication/final update should be no later than 2022, but I might be wrong.

If this fic could be found, I would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance! @ramblebrambleamble

FOUND? The Tales of Despereaux by stiltonbasket (T, 53k, WIP, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, JC & WWX, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, Canon Divergence, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, (when applicable), major ships are listed but others might pop up!) It's the first 23 chapters. Stilton's tumblr also has its masterlist

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19. looking for a fic! i remember it was either someone needs to fight lwj and win(?) to get his hand in marriage, or he needed to give them an item like a token or smth. wwx is in an animal form of sorts i can't remember, and lwj freely gives the item to him while in animal form

FOUND? it’s you, it was always you by myung (G, 7k, WangXian, Bunny LWJ, Mutual Pining, Light angst, Based on Tumblr post) sounds like it's you, it was always you but Lan Zhan is the shapeshifter who gives Wei Ying his forehead ribbon while in rabbit form.

FOUND? heartkeeper by postingpebbles (G, 7k, WangXian, Animal Transformation, Canon Divergence, no war au, Shapeshifting, light convos abt the jiang family dynamic, WWX draws a lot and talks to a rabbit: the fic, Fantasy, Mojo's bookmark, heartkeeper [podfic] by esbielle) Lwj is a rabbit with a chain with a key to hanguang-jun’s heart

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20. Hello :) I need help finding a fic, I don't know if it was deleted or not, but it was a time travel fic where I think sizhui and jingyi went back to either just before the sunshot campaign or just after it but they were either together or the feelings were there they got wangxian together early and wangxian I vaguely remember adopted both older (kinda not officially) and baby sizhui (officially) and I remember also kinda vaguely know but I can't remember if it was Jingyi or older sizhui dying I remember jingyi and older sizhui got married before the death, there is a memorable scene of older sizhui and wangji flying together and sizhui was telling him about his life as a kid with wangji please if you can help it would be appreciated also I do know it's not 'Tragedy is not the end' by Hobbsy3 thank you!!! @lotus-cloudbunny

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[effetsecndaires]

— 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡. (𝐡𝐜𝐬)

INCLUDES | takashi mitsuya, manjiro sano (bonten tl), chifuyu matsuno, shuji hanma, tetta kisaki, haruchiyo sanzu.

CONTENT WARNING | sanzu's contains nsfw, mention of eating disorders. fem!reader.

NOTE | all characters are in their 20s, english isn't my first language! (divider by cafekitsune)

— MITSUYA.

Mitsuya has a hard time getting over your death. He's constantly haunted by the feeling that he somehow failed to protect you, even though your death had nothing to do with him and everyone around him always insists on the fact that there's nothing he could have done to prevent it.

His grief gets so bad that taking care of himself becomes the last thing on his mind. He neglects his appearance and barely eats anymore, he simply can't find the motivation to carry on with his life as if nothing happened. The only thing he looks forward to every day is going back to sleep.

His dreams have become a sanctuary, a safe place where death doesn't exist and the two of you can finally reunite.

— MIKEY.

Mikey keeps a stoic expression the entire time he's being told the news. He's biting his tongue, trying not to let his emotions show.

He feels his heart break into a thousand pieces as fear, anger, and grief all overtake him at once. He wants to scream, to lash out, to hit something. But he doesn't say a single word. He closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

He then nods curtly before exiting the room and heading to a quiet place where he can gather his thoughts. The world around him feels distant, everything turning into white noise as he struggles to come to terms with what he's just been told.

Mikey hadn't been in touch with you for nearly a decade and he's unsure if he's even supposed to mourn you as intensely as he does, not knowing if you still remembered or even cared about him after all those years.

All he knows is that he did still care about you, and your death feels like a cruel joke life played on him, a punishment that cuts him to the core for all the crimes he's committed.

— CHIFUYU.

Chifuyu completely isolates himself from the world. The moment he hears about your death, he breaks down and cries inconsolably for a solid hour, completely shattered by the loss of yet another friend.

He blames himself for not having done enough to save you, and your death brings back the same overwhelming emotions he experienced when he lost Baji.

With a heavy heart, he visits your grave every day and places a single flower on top of your gravestone, silently expressing his love and respect for you. He takes a moment to collect himself then heads to Baji's resting place where he repeats the same ritual and prays that the pain of losing his best friends will eventually get better.

— HANMA.

Hanma acts like he doesn't care. He'll put on a tough façade, tell everyone he never even cared about you and laugh in their faces when they try to offer condolences. He goes so far as to get defensive when anyone dares to suggest that he had any emotional attachment to you.

You were nothing but a careless brat who threw herself head first into the lion's den despite having been warned of the risks beforehand. Why would he feel any sort of empathy? Why would he care?

But this façade crumbles down as soon as he's alone in the funeral home, staring down at your open casket.

He slowly takes a step closer, looking at your lifeless body, the memory of you lying on the ground, blood pouring out of your wounds flashing through his mind.

He reaches out a shaky hand to cup your face but retracts it right away when he feels the coldness of your skin, a single tear escaping from his eye.

He doesn't let it show, but he spends the rest of his life missing you.

— KISAKI.

Kisaki doesn't react. At least, not from the outside. He keeps his head down and continues flipping through his papers, as if the words he just heard held little to no importance to him.

He might even hum dismissively and wave off whoever brought him the news, not bothering to say anything else.

But anyone who knows him knows that Kisaki is seething with anger beneath the surface.

He doesn't allow himself to dwell on it for too long, though; instead, he channels all those hidden emotions into plotting the perfect revenge. He meticulously devises a plan to make everyone involved with your murder pay, calculating each step to ensure maximum damage.

Regardless of how long it takes, whether it be months or even years, Kisaki will make sure that your death doesn't go unpunished.

— SANZU.

Sanzu tries to forget by sleeping with other women. He wants to move on, and he wants to do it fast.

But he'll be damned if forgetting you was an easy task.

He might try to convince himself that it's not intentional, but he often finds himself gravitating towards women who resemble you in some way. Whether it's the color of their skin or similarities in hair color or style, he can't deny that he still longs for you and looks for you in every woman he picks.

He'll take them from behind and pretend they're you, the palm of his hand softly sliding up their back as if you were suddenly the one moaning for more underneath him. He'll probably moan out your name at some point, not giving a damn about getting a negative reaction from the nameless girl he's using.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Bereavement

Bereavement - the period of mourning and grief following the death of a beloved person or animal.

A normal response to death and loss, which are universal human experiences.

A highly individual as well as a complex experience.

It is increasingly recognized that no two people respond the same way to the losses associated with the death of a loved one.

Comes from an ancient Germanic root word meaning ‘‘to rob’’ or ‘‘to seize by violence.’’

It should ordinarily be allowed to run its course; most counselors maintain that trying to stifle or cut short the grief process is more likely to cause emotional problems later on than to prevent them.

Mourning

Describes the public rituals or symbols of bereavement.

Examples: Holding funeral services, wearing black clothing, closing a place of business temporarily, or lowering a flag to half mast.

Grief

One’s personal experience of loss.

Includes physical symptoms, and emotional & spiritual reactions to the loss.

While public expressions of mourning are usually time-limited, grief is a process that takes most people several months or years to work through.

Bibliotherapy

The use of books (usually self-help or problem-solving works) to improve one’s understanding of personal problems and/or to heal painful feelings.

Biofield healing

A general term for a group of alternative therapies based on the belief that the human body is surrounded by an energy field (or aura) that reflects the condition of the person’s body and spirit.

Rebalancing or repairing the energy field is thought to bring about healing in mind and body.

Examples: Reiki, therapeutic touch, polarity balancing, Shen therapy, and certain forms of color therapy.

Complicated grief

An abnormal response to bereavement that includes unrelieved yearning for the dead person, the complete loss of previous positive beliefs or worldviews, and a general inability to function.

Disenfranchised grief

Grief that cannot be openly expressed because the death or other loss cannot be publicly acknowledged.

Euthanasia

The act of putting individuals or animals to death painlessly or allowing them to die by withholding medical services, usually because they have a painful and incurable disease.

Regression

A return to earlier, particularly infantile, patterns of thought and behavior.

Thanatology

The medical, psychological, or legal study of death and dying.

Traumatic grief

Grief resulting from the loss of a loved one in a traumatic situation (natural or transportation disaster, act of terrorism, or mass murder, etc.).

Source ⚜ Writing Notes & References More: List of Uncommon Emotions ⚜ Pain

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

nico is a ghost, nico is gay, nico is a practicing pagan, nico is autistic, nico is antigone-coded, nico is enveloped by death (ghosts, grief, memories haunting him, the life he left behind one more ghost enveloping him, he spends time in the underworld because death is all he remembers and all he really has), nico is mediterranean, nico is from the 30s, nico has depression, nico is sentimental, nico is a crier, nico both self-isolates and is isolated by other people, nico is resilient, nico has a weird relationship with food, nico gets along the best with people also left out, nico is self destructive, nico’s love is bigger than himself and that’s his fatal flaw, nico was always meant to be a tragic character, no matter what in his storyline changed, no matter if Bianca never died and they never went to the lotus hotel, nico is strawberries, nico has freckles, nico has visited several countries and probably met people in all of them, nico is humans by big thief, nico is alien by lebanon hanover, nico has suffered from internalized homophobia, nico is from venice, nico has lost all the memories of the life he originally had and was supposed to keep, nico wants to be liked, to belong, but he’s been pushed away for so long he began believing he didn’t belong, nico yearns, nico cares about the dead, nico knows all about death and it’s rituals, nico is an inmigrant, nico is dead to the government, nico wanted to be a pirate, nico grew up catholic, nico refuses to do anything than might make himself look vulnerable to other people, nico is amazing with swords, nico is currently 15, nico was homeless for years, nico was the first person to go to Tartarus and come out alive, and he did it by choice, nico is willingly to risk his life to save someone else’s, nico will spend the rest of his life mourning a girl no one remembers, who has no grave or place in the underworld, who nico will eventually forget parts of, her face, her voice, because he has no photos of, but a love than will never fade, nico belongs in another time, nico refuses to lose his humanity, nico has been burned too many times, and now doesn’t even try to fit in, nico wears all black both because he likes it but also because he’s mourning, nico doesn’t read very well in english, nico moves his hands to articulate as he’s speaking, nico has ptsd, nico has a weird relationship with touch, nico is

[dawnfelagund]

My Open-Source Tolkien Studies Data Sets

One of the best parts of being an independent scholar is that I get to be generous with my research. I am not counting on it for a job, and frankly, between teaching at a small rural school and running the Silmarillion Writers' Guild, I will likely never be able to do all that I want to do with the data that I collect and so love the idea that someone might do something with it.

Because I do love making sets of data. Everything from the mind-numbing copy/paste data entry to learning new spreadsheet formulas is enjoyable to me. I'm an introvert in a very extraverted profession, and after a day of being all on for my students, turning everything into numbers is like a cup of tea under a warm blanket with a Golden Retriever at my feet.

So please use these data sets if they interest you. Play with them. Write about and share what you notice. Expand and build on them. Publish using them. If you use my data or work, credit Dawn Walls-Thumma and link to my website, dawnfelagund.com, if possible. I'd also love if you'd let me know if you share anything using them.

Consolidated Timelines. I made this back in 2013. I was trying to arrange all of Tolkien's timelines side by side. I did some weird things with numbers that I'm not sure I fully understand now, but maybe you can make sense of this or maybe you just want everything Tolkien said about timelines in one handy document. (Make a copy of the Consolidated Timelines.)

Fanfiction Archive Timeline. Made for the 2023 Fan Studies Network North America conference, this timeline-on-a-spreadsheet shows archives in the Tolkien and Harry Potter fandoms, multifandom archives, and social networks and when they came online, were active, became inactive, and went offline, along with data about affiliated communities, software, and rescue efforts. I update this timeline annually with that year's data and will continue to add new archives when I have enough data to do so. (Make a copy of the Fanfiction Archive Timeline spreadsheet.)

References to Sources in the Works of J.R.R. Tolkien. In this document, I record each time a narrator's source is mentioned or alluded to. Ideally, this will one day include The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings as well! For now, it is just The Silmarillion for the selfish reason that I'm predominantly a Silmarillion researcher. (Make a copy of the References to Sources.)

Silmarillion Characters. A list of all of the characters in The Silmarillion, demographic data about them, the number of times they are mentioned, various aliases, and which "books" of The Silmarillion they appear in. The latter part is a work-in-progress. (Make a copy of Silmarillion Characters.)

Silmarillion Death Scenes (spreadsheet | document). For last year's Tolkien at UVM and Oxonmoot conferences, I collected every death scene in the Quenta Silmarillion and recorded various details about character demographics, cause of death, and grief and mourning rituals. (Make a copy of the spreadsheet. Make a copy of the document.)

The Silmarillion: Who Speaks? This is my newest project, which I hope to complete by the end of the year, documenting which characters get to speak actual words, the number of words they speak, and demographics about the speaking characters. Eventually, I would like to include as well characters who are mentioned as having spoken without being given actual dialogue, but one step at a time. Again, this is a work-in-progress. I have just started working on it. Come back in 2025 and, hopefully, there will be interesting stuff to see.