#grey is rooting for chenford

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Eps 8 & 9

Hello, Chenford fans! If you love Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford on The Rookie, I owe you a debt of thanks. Throughout the years, I've loved writing Metas for various ships, and several of you told me I HAD to check out this ship.

Y'all. Were. Right! It's been so much fun catching up and then riding with you this season on an amazing adventure. All of y'all who've stuck it out from the beginning are rockstars!

SPOILER ALERT: This is a Meta of Episodes 8 and 9 AKA the 2022 Winter Finale. I will be talking extensively about Chenford and spoiling every bit of it for these two episodes, as well as diving into their past and parallels found there. Do not proceed if you wish to remain unspoiled.

Ready? Let's dive in!

The Collar

"I'm reassigning Aaron for the day. Lucy, that means you're on Gofer Duty."

Lucy and Tim haven't been outright avoiding one another since their near-cheating incident, but they have been avoiding riding together.

Spending all day in a vehicle without an out or an excuse to get away if things get too personal? Yeah, they've been avoiding this.

The way they look at one another, both trying to see if the other is okay with this is so perfectly their MO. They're not going to say what they want until they're certain the other person is on the same page.

Just look at the scene when Tim "asked" Lucy to be his Gofer... they basically went around one another in circles until it came to arms crossed and "Do you want it?" "If you want me to want it", basically.

Tim and Lucy are still tip-toeing here. And Grey can feel the discomfort.

"Is there some reason you two can't ride together?"

Lucy huffs out an exasperated sigh because what can she say!? and looks to Tim, who looks to her. There's no getting out of this without saying something neither of them want to say right now, so they let it go.

But watch them after Grey walks away. Tim can barely look at her.

Because this is not like the times in the past when they've ridden together. They've ridden as TO and Rookie/Boot. They've ridden as Sergeant and Gofer. Yes, technically Lucy is on Gofer Duty, but she's no longer his Gofer. That job's been given to Aaron.

She's riding as Officer Chen, and their dynamic has completely shifted from one that bordered on romantic to two people desperately trying to shove down the feelings that they too-briefly acknowledged months earlier wearing borrowed clothes and courage.

The Shop is a tin can with two people shoved inside of it—two people who are hoping they can avoid shaking the foundations of their firmly rooted relationship because they aren't quite ready to leap.

"So... how's single life going?" "It's good. No one to complain when I watch football all Sunday." "You didn't leave the house once?" "I walked Kojo." "Tim! What?" "I spend all week outside." "I know, but we live in a vibrant city. There's always something amazing going on." "Look, obviously don't get me wrong, I love LA, but it is not a vibrant city, okay? It's a loosely stitched together patchwork of strip-malls." "You're hopeless."

Yes, I wrote all that. I love this whole exchange because it feels like them, and I know that's why Lucy is smiling over at him after he finishes his last line. This feels right. It always has.

Yes, there have been times that they have been at odds. Yes, there were times Tim was a hard*ss trying to whip her into shape. Yes, they've had their fights and confrontations over the years.

But this rhythm has been earned.

They can disagree without offending one another. They don't have to conceal the fact that they disagree, or tiptoe around issues.

Well, they do have one issue they tiptoe around... but we'll get to that later.

A Phone Rings

Tim glances over, and his face is hilarious. It's a good thing Chris can't see how Tim registers who it is, makes a grim frown, and looks away, trying not to eavesdrop because the last thing he wants to do is listen to the woman he loves be ooey-gooey with her boyfriend.

"Where are you?" "An open house! It was on my way to work. What do you think? It need some work, but it's three bedrooms."

Now this has Tim's attention. He looks over, trying to register if he's hearing what he thinks he's hearing.

Lucy. Looks. Horrified.

"I can't really see anything. Can we talk later?" "Yeah! Love you!"

Lucy can't hang up the phone fast enough.

She huffs out a little, frustrated grunt as she makes that image disappear from her phone screen—a future she knows deep down she doesn't want.

Tim—who thought he was going to get through this day without delving into Lucy's personal life—can't help himself. He noticed several things in that exchange, and there's something that's stirring within him even if he doesn't want to admit it—hope.

Lucy didn't say "I love you" back.

Lucy looked entirely uncomfortable at the idea of moving in with Chris.

Lucy rushed to get him off the phone.

These are all tiny indicators to Tim that there's a chance to have that conversation he's been dying to have since the hotel room when Lucy stood before him wearing nothing but a robe as armor against her heart.

The episode before, he was holding his radio—a literally communication device—which tied them together throughout the day. He held it in his hand, trying to communicate with Lucy. But Chris swooped in, and she was whisked away on his arm, seemingly happy.

Tim doesn't want to do anything to hurt Lucy's happiness.

But this exchange gives him the hint that she isn't happy.

"Are you, are you and Chris moving in together?" "No." "I mean, he seems to think you are." "Yeah, I mean, I don't know. He kinda sprang it on me this morning."

Watch how Lucy rubs her chest, clearly uncomfortable.

Up until now, it's been easy to coast in this comfortable relationship. She wasn't sure where Tim stood, especially after he encouraged her to go off to UC school, and Chris is a great guy.

She should be happy, right?

"You guys are happy, right?" "Yeah." "Those are the obvious next steps." "We're super happy. It's good."

Tim's not trying to lead her on a ride. He honestly wants Lucy to be happy, even if it's not with him. But the cracks are showing.

"That poor woman. The last moments of her life must have been agony, just wondering if the bomb was going to go off, praying it wouldn't." "I'm guessing that was the point. No way someone goes through that much trouble of building something like that unless they wanna terrorize their victim." "Yeah."

I love this conversation because we're still in the moment with them—that horrible moment where a woman lost her life.

Tim and Lucy don't just bounce off of it. Yes, they keep going. They have to. But they take the moment to acknowledge the horrors they've witnessed.

I desperately wish more of my news colleagues had done this back in the day, but that's a story for another blog.

Tim and Lucy's quiet moment of reflection and compassion is interrupted by... Chris. Of course, it's Chris.

"I saw the news, are you okay?"

Oh. Oh! I thought Chris was going to do or say something completely insensitive. That's... refreshing.

"Look, if you don't have time, I get it, but a realtor friend of mine just slipped me a listing-"

THERE it is. There's the a**hole, can't-read-the-room, tone-deaf moment I was expecting.

Lucy looks to Tim to find him already watching her. "Save me," her eyes scream.

"Chen! Chat with your boyfriend on your own time."

Heck, yeah!! That's our White Knight riding up on his faithful steed to rescue the Warrior Princess whose current dead-weight Gentleman Caller has got to go!

Thank you, Tim, for coming to the rescue with some TO-voiced ordering.

"Thanks."

He nods to her in acknowledgement. The barrier they've both kept up is falling more and more throughout this episode, especially as she leans on Tim for support.

I like to talk about the Walls of Jericho from It Happened One Night, one of my favorite love stories, ever. It was physical, but also metaphorical. It was, essentially, a flimsy sheet set between a man and woman to try to separate them and avoid temptation.

But shadows made it through, and it was easily shoved aside. That's the veil between Tim and Lucy, right now, and it's falling fast.

You shouldn't need saving from your own boyfriend. But after what happened with Caleb, Tim's always felt a responsibility to protect Lucy, and I feel that's only intensified as their relationship has progressed toward the romantic.

He can feel her hurt. This is actually hurting, now, and he's not going to stand by and do nothing.

"Look, if you don't want to move in, just tell Chris that." "The question is, 'Why don't I want to move in?'. I don't get what the problem is. I mean, Chris is great. We're great together. We never fight." "Maybe that's the problem." ... "Do you guys not fight because you don't disagree on things or because you don't think it's worth the bother?"

Watch. Her. Face. Oh, how it falls as she considers those words. She's riding along, coasting in this relationship with Chris. There's no passion, no friction, no growth. It's convenient and comfy, but we all know that Lucy isn't afraid of confrontation.

Heck, when she was still very fresh in her Rookie stage with Tim, she tracked him down at night to keep him from making a choice that would change who he was. He might've told her she was out of her depth, but he listened.

Lucy doesn't shy away when it counts. So why is she shying away, now?

"Lucy." "Yeah?" "You deserve someone who's worth the effort."

She's fiddling away at her phone case, uncomfortable and nervous. But she meets his eyes as he speaks to her. She doesn't just hear his words, she feels them.

Tim pulls away after the words escape his mouth, placing his right hand on the wheel, further away from Lucy. She watches him for a moment before looking away, just missing him looking back at her.

They both know what he meant.

Whether his intention was to put himself out there or not, he did it. He reached out a little to her, and though he can't see it, we can all feel her reaching back.

That cord of connection that bonds them is always there, but new threads are weaving in... new strands that only strengthen the more they're spoken aloud.

Tim and Lucy are falling in love... but they aren't ready to discuss it... yet.

Taking Cover from the Bomb

I know it's little, and we can rationalize Tim would have done this with anyone. He absolutely would have protected them. But I love the way he rises WITH her. When they stand after the snipping of the bomb, it's as a unit.

And it's so indicative of this episode. It's bringing them back to that point of trust we saw in 5x01 between them where they were undercover up in the air, and knew they had to trust one another completely.

They've kept apart to try and dull the thrum of their hearts that beats deeply for the other. They've been afraid, and unsure, and unsteady.

But the more they're together, the more it's obvious to both of them (and to us, come on!) that they work beautifully together, that they can depend on one another, that the get one another in a way that's spiritual and chemical and can't be forced or reproduced.

Lucy's F*cking Phone

Every time they get a second of air to breathe, that bloody phone is going off. Now, Tim's actively looking over, not even pretending he's unaware of what's transpiring.

Lucy's frustration is bubbling over, and Tim can see it. He looks over at her and sees the woman he loves... miserable. She's f*cking miserable with this other guy, and he knows it.

"Do you love him?"

Tim knows the answer to this one. It's plain as day. But he also knows Lucy. She needs to work through things, sometimes, which is part of why she talks so much.

Tim licks his lips before he says it, as if he needs extra lubrication to get the words out.

Lucy tries to deflect. Much as she loves talking, she doesn't want to talk about this with him. She deflected hardcore in the hotel, and here she is, again, trying to deflect.

"He loves you." "I know. And I feel like I should love him back. He's so great in so many different ways. It's just. He's just not-"

And her gaze shifts immediately to Tim.

Y'all breathing? Because, I legit stopped breathing at this moment. I might've flailed so much in excitement that I accidentally batted my husband's arm beside me.

But watch Tim's reaction... he knows exactly what she's saying. And while they've broken a lot of rules about talking about personal stuff in the Shop, that's one place they both know better than to cross while under the watchful eyes of half a dozen cameras.

Because, Tim is already bending toward her, but he hasn't yet broken the rules. He hasn't yet crossed the lines. Oh, we all know they both nearly did… but didn't.

ADDENDUM: After watching the scene a few more dozen times, I now don't think Tim knew what she was saying... or he wouldn't let himself hope that he was hearing correctly. Anyway... Onward...

And as they ride, feet and legs parallel to fit their seats, arms contained, and eyes only stealing glimpses, they are very much packaged within the rules of their world.

He's the Sergeant. She's running Gofer. And there are too many rules for the conversation to shift there.

"We need to talk."

Look, I've never said those words or heard those words in a positive manner, but I was completely blown away. But, before I get carried away, can we talk about how GORGEOUS Lucy looks in this ensemble? It's fabulous and I want to hug the costumer.

And there's Tim, tapping away on his phone, alone. I get the feeling they planned to have this conversation, or else he would have gone home. We've never seen him just hang out outside like this. I mean, earlier in the episode he was already telling Lucy he gets plenty of sun.

But his sun is shifting. She's becoming his sun. And soon he'll be basking in her glow.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, again.

Tim sets down his phone and immediately turns to face Lucy as she sits. This time, they aren't in the confines of the Shop. They're not parallel. They're angled toward one another, though not yet fully facing each other.

We're seeing the shift. They wear civvies. They're outside in the fresh air. And yet, they're still not facing one another completely. Not yet.

And yet they are on the same page in this moment.

"This clearly isn't working out."

Props to the human on Twitter who pointed out the repetition of this word being used by Tim and Lucy when discussing the other's significant others who they think need to go. "Clearly isn't the right guy..." "Clearly Ashley needs to go..."

And, yes, Tim. We all agree with you. It's about Tim.. Time. It's about Time (and Tim).

"Oh, like I'm the only one who stayed too long when things aren't working? You dated a lifeguard. You don't even like going to the beach."

I admit I laughed so hard at this line that I missed the next one on my first viewing. I always thought that about Tim and Ashley, but it was nice to hear Lucy verbalize my frustration.

"This isn't about me. No, it's not. This is not about me. This is about you staying in this safe relationship because you're scared."

Buuuurn. I mean, he's not wrong.

I actually know a lot about this, personally. I dated a guy in high school. Nice guy. Thought I was in love with him. But as time went on, I could see it wasn't going to work out. It just wasn't right. So, there I am in my Freshman year of college facing all these people saying, "You two are going to get married!" and everything in me screaming, "the hell we are!"

But it was safe and easy. And breaking out of that relationship was tough. I broke his heart, soundly. He kept trying to get back together with me. But in the week after I decided to break up with him, I met this amazing man named Matthew.

Spoiler Alert: We nearly met over the course of 1.5 years on two different continents on 12 different occasions. We met at exactly the right time. When I was ready to walk away from a safe relationship that was going nowhere. Been together 19 years, married 15.

So, I get it, Lucy, but it's time to break free.

"Of course I'm scared. If we do this, and it doesn't work, I'll have ruined the most important relationship in my life."

Silence. Pure silence. Because what do you say to that?

Tim's sitting there, watching her, leaning into her, drinking her in. And for the first time in his life, he's not the one who's trying to give the most. He's the one who is valued, cherished, loved, and honored. In Lucy's eyes, they are soulmates, with or without the romantic subplot.

And as that realization sets in... that she sees him the same way he sees her. Oh, he loves her all the more.

Because there is finally a person who knows what an a** he can be, how rigid he can be, how closed off he can be, how horrible his childhood was, how hard he's fought to be his own man despite never having a father who gave a damn. Lucy has seen his scars, and not only does she care about him, she is so terrified to risk what they have because she knows in her heart there is no other human who can fill the Tim shaped hole in her life that would be left if he was gone.

Tim. Is. Loved.

When you grow up feeling unlovable, then enter into relationships where everyone's leaving you... it gets hard to see your own value. You stop believing that you're a catch, something precious, something special.

But Lucy knows Tim inside and out, and in this moment, he finally understands why she's terrified.

It's not just about risking a friendship. It's risking the defining relationship that transcends every label it was supposed to have at every stage. This is big.

The last time his mouth was this wide he was completely turned on by the idea of hooking up with Lucy via her doppelganger backstory. But the expression this time is completely different.

Look at Tim's eyes. Look at the man who has feared himself unlovable learning that the woman he holds to such high esteem holds him equally high or higher.

Lucy realizes the bomb she just dropped (thank you to Director Robert Bella for telling us they'd be there!) and she tries to back-pedal a little. Now, she is not negating what she said. She simply fears it was too strong a statement to drop on Tim right this second.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" "No. Um, you're right."

This takes me right back to the hotel room. Her trying to give him an answer, an escape, an excuse. Just biology, "right?" And it's belated, but here's that "right" she was looking for. The big reason that it's not worth the risk.

"So we should just keep going the way we have been, right? It's not worth the risk."

Right? Right!? RIGHT!?

She wants him to affirm her so badly, not because she doesn't want him... but because she wants to know it's in her head, to know that he won't go there, to know that she's justified in staying scared.

But this time, Tim's not letting her off the hook. He can see it in her eyes. He can hear it in her voice. They're on the same page, and there's no way he's letting her turn it without him beside her.

A thousand micro-expressions cross Tim's face. There's the, "Well, you have a point" that quickly shifts to "but maybe..." and then to "I'm just saying" with that little pout to the raised eyebrows with the "come on... let's try".

"Unless it is."

Three words. Three little words and the entire Chenford fandom spontaneously combusted on the floor. I mean, we were already puddling, let's be clear, but in terms of existing on this plane? Nah, that went out the door with this.

Because Tim Bradford, Mr. Super Cop, Follow the Rules, "Chen" not "Lucy" is sitting next to the woman he loves and telling her he thinks they are worth the risk.

WE are worth the risk.

Lucy stares at him incredulously, a little gasp escaping her lips. It's something Melissa O'Neil does a lot as Lucy that adds so much realism to her reactions. Here, Lucy is so surprised at his response, but she's elated, too. You can see it in the upturn of her lips.

And Look. At. Tim. Look at our boy all heart-eyes and fawning over the new sun in his life—Lucy Chen.

Eric Winter takes us on another tour of micro-expressions. We start with his awe at watching her respond, then gathering himself up, trying to have courage. Then, that falls away as he simply laughs. Because he doesn't need courage. He's already fallen. The only question... is whether or not she's ready to take this leap.

He lets the smile fall, gathering himself for whatever she might say as he learns forward. He's moving closer to her, physically, romantically, emotionally... It's all riding on this.

"Do you want to get dinner sometime?"

On. The. Floor. All those Chenford folks who were already broken apart and left this plane temporarily re-formed long enough to combust, again.

Timothy Bradford, look at you!

And this entire scene has brought us to this. From an establishing shot, to a two-shot, to switching sides so the busy sidewalk is out of our view, and pushing in as Tim and Lucy get closer and closer to this moment.

The camera's been taking us on a journey, from remembering where we are and who might be around to forgetting that anything except Tim and Lucy exist. It's the intimacy of the moment brought to life through the screen.

We've come to this moment tight on Lucy as she looks back at Tim, his eyes swimming with hope. It looks beautiful on him.

"Ye-es!"

She makes it two syllables (another amazing little touch that Melissa O'Neil does) as she explodes in a grin that'd light up the darkest room.

And watch Tim bask in it. Have we ever seen his eyes so bright?

"Yeah?"

I love the way he breathes it out, breathless, because she has stolen his breath away and he is left in disbelief that this beautiful woman is ready to risk it all for him... with him... for them.

"No, uh..." "Okay." "No, no, it's just... Not yet. I owe it to Chris to end things the right way with him."

Watch Tim's body language (and this is all Eric Winter). He pulls away from her. He straightens his back. His foot pops down and his knee drops.

Everything in Tim just deflated. After that split-second of joy, this feels like the plummet into rejection that some tiny part of him feared—the part of him that continually thinks he isn't worth it... because of deep set childhood trauma and abuse.

And we've shifted back to the two-shot, away from the intimacy.

But Lucy brings it back.

Before Tim can fully pull away, we shift back to that tight shot.

"Ask me again."

And watch how he boomerangs right back to her.

He's leaning in. He's engaged. He's surprised, but in the best way. Because "Not yet" can easily lean into "No".

But "Ask me again"? There's no denying what she means. She wants this. She wants him. She wants them.

Just not yet.

"Later. After." "Deal."

And look at his face. He looks so content. I can't remember ever seeing Tim Bradford so worry-free.

I mean, there are hints of him relaxing into life around Lucy... paint-balling... the flirty banter after she woke up after Day of the Dead... dancing in the company of friends.

But there's always been that bit of tension about. Not here. His face is free of all that, and he is resting in the knowledge that soon it won't be an idea, a fantasy, a fear, or a frustration. They are taking this next step together.

And it is terrifying. And it could be disastrous. But they've committed in this moment. And I love that for them.

Take Back

Chris Wants Tim's Opinion

Have you ever been around a male peacock? They are a fascinating bunch, constantly throwing out their gorgeous feathers. But they can be really annoying. I've had them chase me and my family at a local farm. Like, really, Mr. Peacock? I didn't do anything to you!

That's how I view Chris and Tim.

I don't think Chris is just in here because "Tim knows Lucy's taste". I get the impression that Chris is onto Tim and Lucy, but I think he only sees Tim's side because he's completely, blindly in obsessive-love with Lucy and is missing the truths in front of him.

He doesn't see Tim as competition. He feels like he's won. But he wants to be sure that Tim is aware of that fact so he'll back off.

I mean, look at how Chris responded to Lucy inviting Tim on their date after she gave Tim's radio back? Chris' face fell and he was completely frustrated. We know he's tried to talk her out of being a cop and into being a lawyer.

Much like Ashley, he found someone he liked enough and tried to shape her into what he wanted. The difference is, Ashley knew when to walk away, even if her timing sucked (in a hospital? after surgery? Were you raised by a**holes?)

So, here's Chris in Tim's temporary office, making sure to show off the big house he's going to get with Lucy—and you aren't, Tim. Neener, neener, neener!

Yeah, I'm not nice to Chris' internal monologue...

"You know her tastes..."

Of course he does, Chris. Because Tim is her favorite flavor. Step off, bro.

**To be clear, I have nothing against the actor. If anyone attacks him over a character he plays, they're an a**hole. But Chris is fictional and fair-game to me.

"It's nice." "What's nice?"

Let's not pretend Lucy is in here for any reason other than to get her boyfriend away from her husband. That room is nothing but glass, and she likely spied Chris in there and thought, "F*ck".

Chris kisses Lucy's cheek on the way out, and the grin Tim gives him is delicious. "Do it while you can, buddy, because you are on the way out and Tim Bradford is on the way in."

Yes, I realized the multiple entendres, though it wasn't written with that intention. So, it stays. Take it however you will.

In one smooth camera movement, we go from Lucy dropping the plastic smile to Tim looking up from the desk with a half smile.

"How's the breakup going?"

I cackled. I died. I tried so hard not to wake my sleeping husband but definitely failed because he abandoned our bed shortly after to take the couch.

There's no more tip-toeing for Tim and Lucy. Everything is on the table, it's just whether or not they play it through.

"I'm in the planning stages. I'm just reviewing the literature." "Literature? Lucy, a psychology journal's not going to tell you how to break up with Chris. Just invite him to your office and ask for his playbook."

I love this. The banter. The humor.

Look, I'm a huge fan of characters getting together and not losing what made them great. It worked beautifully on The Good Place and Brooklyn 99, and I really want to see it work here, too.

Tim and Lucy's back-and-forths are part of why we love them. Even in this moment, they disagree. But they've worked through so much in their relationship that even though they openly disagree, they know how to do so with respect.

It's earned.

"His playbill?" "His playbook. When you get kicked off the team you have to turn in your playbook. It's a metaphor." "No, it's cruel. I'm going to handle it my way."

And here come Tim's creeping doubts. Because a tiny part of him still worries this is too good to be true.

"If you're having second thoughts-" "No. I'm not." "Good."

Heart eyes. We have HEART EYES at work... in uniform. In the Watch Commander's Office. Freakin' heart eyes.

You ever have a moment where you stop and think, "How did I get here?" That's me and this moment. Everything up until this point made me smile and squeal. But, this? This made me swoon.

Because Tim Bradford and Lucy Chen are looking at one another like the other lassoed the moon. There's no fear. No trepidation. No worry. No tension.

In this brief moment, Tim and Lucy are simply that... Tim and Lucy. Every other boundary is seemingly stripped.

And yet... they are still separated by Chris... and the Desk of Duty set between them.

Think about it. Tim doesn't break the rules much. Yes, some things matter more. It's true! But, it's few and far between.

Here, he is in the role of Watch Commander, even further from Lucy in her position. And yet the man and woman beneath the badges and uniforms are screaming to be together.

But the barriers have not yet been rendered moot.

"You know, you haven't said anything since we pulled out." ... "I need to break up with Chris." "Finally!"

Aaron. Oh, Aaron. Thank you. First, for knowing our girl well enough to know that her silence is a sign something is up. Two, for saying what everyone has been quietly thinking. And we (the audience) know you know Tim's got it bad for Lucy. So, thank you for your service in this moment.

"Aaron was right. I should have practiced more. Okay. Um. I need you to give me your playbook."

She defaults to Tim's advice. Quick. Rip off the band-aid. Go for the metaphor.

Now, my husband pointed out that he would have had no idea what that meant (same with me). But, apparently, Chris knows enough.

"Are you breaking up with me?" "You know what that means?"

I laughed heartily at that. Which is a terrible, terrible thing to do when a guy is getting his heart broken. But, I've been there.

I didn't say exactly those words, but I knew direct and to the point was the best way to handle the comfortable—but wrong for me—guy.

He's great, by the way. Married to a mutual friend of ours with a son. We kept in touch! I oddly did that with all my exes... Yeah, I know I'm weird.

But Lucy definitely definitely doesn't need to keep in touch with Chris.

And our girl knows it, because as soon as the deed is done, she runs right back to Tim.

Lucy knocks on his door, that beautiful moonstone ring that has come to mean so much glinting at the camera lens, catching light from somewhere in the room.

"How's it going?" "Counting the seconds until Grey returns. What are you doing back?" "I talked to Chris."

With that, Lucy crosses the threshold of the room, toward Tim, away from the past.

Tim finally, finally comes out from behind the desk. He stands facing her. No longer parallel like in the Shop. No longer angled like outside.

This time, they're pointed at what they both truly want—each other.

And the barriers are gone. Lucy has shed the dead weight of the puffed chicken, and Tim just stepped away from the weight of that Desk of Duty to face Lucy fully as a man.

He's still in uniform. They're in the Watch Commander's office. The walls are glass. But none of that matters to him because he's made a choice, already, and nothing will stand in his way now that Lucy is ready to take this leap together.

"How did it go?" "Uhhh, awful. But it's done."

Lucy takes a look around them, taking in the scene, looking to see if anyone is coming or anyone is watching. She turns back to Tim, secure that this is their moment.

And it's happening inside the precinct. Why? I think it's because this is where it all started for them. The first chapter of their story began in this setting. Why not have the next chapter start similarly?

Tim watches Lucy as she looks to him. The look on his face reminds me of 5x01 when they'd just crossed the threshold into her apartment and he was standing there, watching her, unsure if she wanted to start or if he should.

This time, there's no ambiguity from her.

"So, do you have something you were gonna ask me?"

She takes a step forward on that, settling into her hip the same way she did at that door back in 5x01, watching Tim and waiting for him to cross the threshold to her.

This time, the threshold is invisible, but they both know it's there. They can feel the buzz of this moment and all the change it will bring.

Much as they have fought it in the past, they know they're on the same page. It's time to start writing a new chapter.

"I can't remember." "Don't make me hurt you."

Again, thank you, writers, for making sure that Tim and Lucy are still... Tim and Lucy. Even in this moment of monumental change, they are still the characters we love and not watered-down versions of them.

Lucy and Tim are flirting in their teasing way, and my heart's fluttering so fast I fear I'll take flight.

Tim locks eyes on her, taking his own step forward. Any closer and there'd be some side-eye from the other officers outside, of course. But that was the threshold right there.

He crossed it. Tim Bradford took a step toward the future he wants with Lucy Chen.

And as his eyes swim with adoration, his mouth quirks into an almost-smile, the peace of reciprocal love enveloping him in warmth.

His eyes sparkle, and while, yes it's probably studio lighting... I like to think it's because those eyes are reflecting the radiance of Lucy's love back to her.

"Do you wanna go out on a date?" "Yeah, I do."

The last time she said, "I do" to him, they were on a dance-floor, giddy with excitement, releasing themselves into a moment of happiness.

But with these two words, they've unlocked something even deeper—the chance at love that transcends boundaries and rules, that binds souls in passion and paradise.

Does it mean the road will be easy? Hell, no. But, it means they'll face it together.

They have fought. They have battled. They have pissed each other off. They have pranked one another. Helped one another. Supported one another. Uplifted one another. Rescued one another.

This is an epic love story, not some flash-in-the-pan, fly-by romance. Tim and Lucy have been on parallel paths for a long time.

But now, their roads have converged in the purest of ways—two humans daring to risk it all... because they're worth it.

And despite being in a transparent box, nobody's looking in, and Tim and Lucy aren't looking out. They only see each other, and the possibilities opened on the blank page of the rest of their lives. Oh, I can't wait to watch it unfold.

Thank you all for reading. What comes next? Only the writers know... but I'm loving this ride, and I want to thank each and every one of you who told me over the summer that I needed to check this ship out. You were right! They're magic.

[silverskull]

Chenford + UC school + Noah

&Chenford + noah is just a friend

&Chenford + Tim gets jealous of Noah

&Chenford + Chris finds out Lucy is with Tim 💕

This fic is for the most wonderful anon/anons on Tumblr who persistently pepper my ask box with fic suggestions. Whether you are one person or many, you make me so happy. To think that there's someone out there who is actively enticing me to write is the strangest sort of good feeling, and I love you, nonnie.

I actually wasn't very enthusiastic about the whole Noah and Chris and Tim thing, but when I started to combine the suggestions with one another, it came out as something I wasn't expecting. I hope you don't feel cheated, and more importantly, I hope you enjoy. 💖 (5000 word fic in full below, but a kudos or comment on AO3 is always much appreciated, as are rebloggios!)

“Wuh-oh.”

Lucy spun quickly on her heel, the handcuffs on her duty belt clanking in protest as she turned and smashed directly into the solid wall of Sergeant Grey’s chest. 

Grey sighed, pushing her back gently and dusting himself off with a wearily raised eyebrow.

“Forget something, Officer Chen?”

“Uh, no, Sir,” Lucy stammered, looking for the quickest route around the Watch Commander, “I, uh, just need to, uh… check if-”

The station’s automatic doors breezed open behind her, wafting the smell of exhaust into the air of the lobby around them.

“Lucy?”

Too late.

***

“Tim is just…” Lucy twirled her shot glass on the slick surface of the bar table, absently glad she’d worn short sleeves, because she’d already left her elbow in the puddle of spilled liquor at least three times since they’d sat down. The flame of a small centrepiece candle wavered and blurred before her as her thoughts drifted and her eyes unfocused.

“Just… ‘a friend’?” Noah finished for her, grinning and bumping her with his elbow as he downed his own shot. He winced at the burn, then waggled his eyebrows at her.

Lucy rolled her eyes and threw back her tequila. “I don’t even think you could call us that any more.” She’d succumbed to gloominess, only agreeing to go out with the UC gang because being alone in her hotel room would mean no-one was keeping track of her drinking. They’d had a long day of lectures and written tests, and when she finally got to check her phone, there wasn’t even a meme from Aaron. It was as if she’d been completely forgotten by everyone she cared about.

“Psshh.” Noah blew a messy raspberry, slapping the puddle of liquor and sending a small tsunami of droplets across both of their laps. “It took you nearly two weeks to tell me you had a different boyfriend. I thought for sure you and Bradford were married.”

“Wh- Noah!” Lucy slapped his shoulder, half amused, half embarrassed. He leaned away from her, smirking, but only long enough to pull them two new bottles of beer from the shared ice bucket. “Chris Sanford. Tim Bradford. It’s not that hard.”

“Don’t they have any other varieties of surname down in Mid-Wilshire? How am I supposed to tell them apart?”

“You’d know them if you saw them,” she murmured, uncapping her beer and taking a deep swig.

“Oh really?” Noah asked, intrigued. His eyes glimmered with quick humour and he sat up straighter. “I can picture it now: Chris Sandyford, ace attorney. Tall, blonde, preppy. Probably played lacrosse in high-school.” 

Despite herself, Lucy burst into a fit of laughter. Noah continued, painting the air with his fingers.

“Timothée Bradburn. Dark, skinny, moody. Hair a little too long for a cop, but suits his ‘aesthetic’. Loves to read, but only paperbacks. Trademarks the word ‘asshole’.”

Lucy had bent double, gasping for breath, balancing herself with one now-soaked arm on the wet table.

“I don’t care if he was your TO,” Noah continued, “I’m rooting for Bradburn. Team Tim, all the way.” He raised his bottle in salute to Tim, commencing a ripple of cheers from the rest of their group.

“Oh my god.” It took her a solid minute of wheezing and coughing to recover, and Noah smiled innocently at her the whole time, calmly sipping from his beer and clapping her enthusiastically on the back.

“You are never invited to Mid-Wilshire. Just so you know.” She poked him in the shoulder when she could breathe again, to emphasise her point.

“Oh yeah?” He smirked, bending low to the table and hiding his face behind his beer bottle and a small stack of coasters. “Well, I’ll just have to be discreet. You’ll never see me coming.”

She swiped a splash of the spill at him and he dodged, toppling his bottle into the coasters. He lurched forward to save it at the same moment as Lucy, and between them the candle went spinning around the table, tipping onto Lucy’s lap and splashing wax all over her jeans.

“Ow! Ow ow ow! Hot!”

She leapt off her stool, desperately trying to knock the melted wax away, but it had soaked through the material and was already stinging painfully against her skin.

At a loss, Noah looked helplessly at their friends, all shouting and pointing at once, unintelligible and useless. Reflexively, he grabbed his beer bottle and sloshed it at Lucy.

Foam. 

Bubbles and foam.

Bubbles and foam and a merciful - if slightly sour - coolness spread across her legs.

There was silence for a moment.

Lucy ran her hands across her soaked jeans, shaking off the residue and shoving her hair out of her eyes.

Someone snorted. Another coughed. Then a giggle. Soon the entire table was convulsing in laughter, passing napkins and coasters across to Lucy, helping her dab off her jeans and her stool and her arms. Noah grimaced apologetically, cleaning the table in front of her and handing the quenched candle to an exasperated waitress.

“If it helps, this has given me a great idea…” he said, arranging their stools back beside the table and gesturing for two more beers from the bucket.

“I don’t think I want to know any more of your ideas tonight,” Lucy said, sitting gingerly on the slightly sticky seat and eyeing him suspiciously.

“No no, you’ll like this one, I swear!” He uncapped their drinks, clinking the bottles together carefully. “I’ve finally thought of your UC nickname… ‘Hotpants’.”

Lucy choked, spraying beer back onto the table and saturating the sleeve of Noah’s sweater.

The gang erupted in laughter again, pelting Noah with napkins and coasters.

Lucy was glad she’d gone out with them.

Who needed memes from Aaron anyway?

***

“Detective Foster. Good to see you again.” Grey reached beyond Lucy to shake hands with Noah. “Lopez has a desk ready for your report.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Noah grinned cheekily at Lucy as Grey took a step back. “How you doin’, Hotpants?” He pulled her into a quick hug, pecking her on the cheek before she had time to react.

Lucy swallowed a slightly hysterical giggle, shoving him back with a tight grip on his arms.

“Good, all good. I didn’t expect to see you here today,” she answered, frowning. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course!” He slipped his arm around her back, leaning in close to whisper conspiratorially, “Lopez wanted someone actually good at UC to draft the Army of Freedom report for the DA.”

She jabbed him lightly with her elbow, knowing full well that her amusement was showing on her face. Grey shook his head at her, rolling his eyes and folding his arms.

She’d almost forgotten her urgent need to get out of there.

The doors swished open again.

“Lucy?”

Shit.

***

“Tim is just…” Lucy rolled her sushi over once more in the bowl of soy sauce. It was far too saturated to eat now, but she’d lost her train of thought, and with it, apparently, her appetite.

“Just… jealous?” Chris finished with a snort, tossing back another California roll.

“What? No!” Lucy tamped down on the wave of protective indignation that surged within her, sighing and dropping her chopsticks onto her plate. Wine it was, then. She settled back into the couch. “No. He’s just… just…”

“A walking billboard for ‘defund the police’?”

“Chris!” She dropped her wine glass onto the table so fast, it nearly sloshed over the edges.

“No, no, babe. You know I don’t mean you when I say that.” Chris patted her on the arm, still fully focused on the platter of sushi in front of him. “But the movement has a point. And moody hardasses like Bradford are exactly the kind of cop people are scared of running into. I’ll never understand why you’re so patient with him.”

Lucy scoffed, the burn of wine and soy sauce tasting bitter in her throat.

“Our job isn’t to be everybody’s friend.”

“Hold on, hold on…” Chris chewed and swallowed another roll, raising his hand for her to wait. “You want me to give teenage thieves a second or third chance; but Bradford can just roll up on someone, slap on some cuffs, throw them in the system, and that’s all part and parcel of the job? Lucy! Come on!”

“You don’t see the same city we do.” She reached for her wine again, closing her eyes. This type of conversation was never worth the energy. “We see people on their worst days. For some of them, they’ve embraced it and decided to make it everybody else’s worst day too. For others, it’s just a hole they’ve fallen into. Throw them a ladder and they’ll find their own way out.” She sipped her wine thoughtfully. “We’re responsible for making that judgement. Every day takes a toll on you. Tim is just…”

Her mouth wouldn’t form the words.

Upset? Lonely? Broken-hearted?

How would someone feel after being broken up with by 2022’s answer to Pamela Anderson?

“Tired,” she finished, lamely, taking a larger gulp of wine than she’d intended.

“Sure, but can you imagine having him over for dinner?” Chris had moved onto the sashimi, delicately considering both the tuna and the salmon. “You, me, and Tired Tim?” He decided on the salmon, dropping even more wasabi into his soy sauce. “I mean, our first date was awkward enough, what with him and Ashley. What would we do with him here?”

“Well I thought we were going out for Mediterranean,” Lucy began, her tongue nearly wrinkling in horror at the amount of wasabi now coating Chris’ salmon, “But, hey - what do you mean ‘awkward’?”

She waited while Chris chewed thoughtfully, her mind’s eye providing her with a technicolour highlight reel of enoki pancakes, cyborg bodies and Tim’s cynical smile; salty sea air and tiny grains of sand peppering through the recollection of his fingertips brushing her arm, his cologne wafting across the breeze, his eyes deep and dark beside her in the subtle light of the beach torches.

“Well, they were obviously entirely mismatched,” Chris said, throwing her a look of forbearance. “Ashley is sweet and kind and outgoing - I mean, she’s not that different from you.”

It was Lucy’s turn to snort, feeling her forehead crease sceptically. 

“No, no - let me finish!” Chris laughed, finally looking away from his food and reaching for her hand. “She’s all those nice bits of you, sure. But she’s not tough. And she’s obviously got no tolerance for asshole behaviour. He spent that whole night talking to you. Turned to you. Looking at you.”

Suddenly, the images in her head were taking on a different tone.

The warm orange glow of the flickering flames on their skin. 

The soft velvet brush of Tim’s dinner jacket against her arm. 

His knees bumping hers below the table time and again, and again.

She shook her head vigorously, trying to dispel the sudden rush of heat along her neck, the goosebumps tingling over her arms.

“He must be exhausted trying to keep up his ‘nice guy’ image for her. Maybe one of these days she’ll realise he’s just not-”

“Tim-” Lucy closed her eyes, changing her mind and reaching out a stalling hand towards her boyfriend. “Chris, let’s just drop the Tim stuff for now. Please?”

Chris smiled agreeably, chuckling and topping up her wine glass.

Cheap wine, good sushi and the companionship of a charming man.

What more could she want?

***

“Mr Sanford. Detective Harper is all set up for you in the conference room.” Grey turned slightly, gesturing to the corridor behind him.

Noah laughed, the sound at odds with the seriousness of Chris Sanford’s face.

“They make Sergeants work as greeters in Mid-Wilshire too? Sheesh, this place is tough!”

The only thing saving Noah from a severe Sergeant-Grey-Disapproving-Frown was his cheeky grin, and Lucy averted her eyes as he murmured a goodbye in her ear, squeezing her arm and wisely removing himself from the situation, promising to meet up with her later for lunch.

Grey, usually so composed and unruffled, seemed to Lucy to have a glint of mischief in his eyes as he looked between her, the departing detective and the arriving attorney.

“You’re up to date on the entire Elijah escapade, I take it?” Grey asked Chris, his arms still folded and his posture relaxed and at ease. There was no way he wasn’t enjoying her obvious agitation at the sudden influx of attentive men.

“Of course,” Chris replied, loosely shaking his briefcase. “Can’t wait to put him away for a couple of centuries, at the very least.”

Grey smirked, nodding approvingly. “You and me both.”

He didn’t leave, but Grey moved away, looking out through the glass doors as if waiting for someone. Lucy half wished he’d stayed beside her.

An awkward silence descended in his absence.

“So…” Chris was addressing her, scuffing one foot anxiously on the floor, his eyes darting between hers and anywhere else in the lobby. “It’s been a while.”

She coughed out a laugh. Given their jobs, it was unlikely they’d never run into one another again. If he’d just stayed for five more minutes at her apartment that night, this would have been dealt with already. 

Well. She might as well get it over with.

“Yeah.” She knew she was picking at her own nails, and she made a conscious effort to stop, grabbing her duty belt tightly instead. “Um, how are you?”

Chris paused, staring at her incredulously.

She bit her lip, feeling the mild sting of guilt roll up along her shoulders.

“I’m… I’m shit, Lucy.” He glared at her, his mouth falling open on his last words. “I feel like shit. I thought we were tight. I thought things were good, thought we were ready for the next step. And then you dump me? Ask me for my ‘playbook’? What the hell sort of bitchy, high school, mean girl move was that?”

Lucy was feeling at least three different shades of guilty - the mildest one being that of dumping a guy she wasn’t fully invested in. Another was certainly more of the high school variety - her? Lucy Chen? A bitch?! Never! Everybody adored her!

The third was one she’d grown accustomed to: the guilt of being in a relationship with one person, whilst clearly head-over-heels for another. This was a feeling so familiar to Lucy, she’d only noticed its absence once she and Tim had finally made their status openly official. Every time she grabbed his arm in the station now felt natural and right; every time she held his hand in front of their friends felt like she’d landed safely where she belonged; every time she cuddled in to him, kissed the edge of his jaw while they watched old movies on the couch with Tamara and Kojo, she felt like she was home. Home and safe and loved. Exactly where she was supposed to be.

Not that it was any surprise, but Chris obviously didn’t share the same internal ideation as Lucy.

“And now - what? You’re hooking up with the first out-of-town, greasy-ass detective that shows an interest in you? I thought you had higher standards than that.”

Suddenly, Lucy found she didn’t care how ‘high-school’ Chris found her moves to be.

“Excuse me?!” The disbelief in her voice raised the end of the question to a higher pitch than she’d have liked.

“Oh come on.” Chris waved his hand towards the corridor where Noah had disappeared just moments ago. “As if I couldn’t see that guy fawning all over you. What? Just because he wears a hoodie with a leather jacket, it makes him catnip?”

Lucy was caught somewhere between confusion and hilarity.

“Are you seriously gatekeeping who I talk to right now?”

“Well maybe if I had paid better attention when we were together this wouldn’t be happening!”

“Ugh, Chris…”

“No. Lucy, seriously.” Chris stepped closer to her. “What is this? What’s happening right now?”

“Chris-” She took a step back, raising her hands to keep the distance between them. “It’s not whatever you think it is.”

“Then what?” The pleading look on his face was genuine; puppy-dog eyes, beseeching eyebrows and all. “What? You needed danger? A serial killer tried to murder me! You need a do-gooder hero? I’m all ears! Tell me who to save, when to let them off the hook - I’ll listen. You want to put the bad guys away for life? That’s literally my job!”

“Chris, come on. Stop being ridiculous.” He was unnerving her now, too close and too needy, and nothing like the genuinely nice man she used to date. Her mouth took control of the situation before she had a chance to process the thought. “I never felt the way about you that you wanted me to. I wasn’t in love with you.”

The silence fell heavily between them, Chris’ face drooping in disappointment. Lucy was suddenly very aware that her boss was still standing well within earshot, Grey shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other as the doors slid smoothly open in front of him for a third time. 

“Lucy?”

There was no fucking way this day was happening to her.

***

“Tim is just…what?”

Sleep was still clinging to the edge of his words, a yawn overtaking the end of the question as he rolled away from her and stretched his arms over his head.

“Tim is just about to wake up, obviously,” she answered, shuffling onto her side and sliding her hand across his chest as he uncurled from the foetal position. 

There were many revelations that came with having Tim Bradford in one’s bed, but one of the most surprising to her was how small he made himself in sleep; feet tucked up under her legs, head snuggled into her shoulder, one or both hands wrapped tightly around her chest or arms. He didn’t seem to notice, and she had no intention of bringing it up, but it still made her heart flutter fiercely when she woke before him and found him knit tightly and securely into her side.

“Who are you talking to?” he asked, still yawning widely, his hand finding hers and lacing their fingers together on his stomach.

“Only the best boy in the whole world.”

From his bed on the floor beside her, Kojo snuffed out a low ‘woof’, clearly recognising the words that applied to him, and him only.

Tim snorted, nuzzling his nose into her forehead.

It was one of their rare weekends off together, and with no alarms or deadlines, they’d (eventually) fallen into deep sleep, waking only once the sun rose high and bright above the buildings opposite, flooding their bedroom with warm, golden light.

As much as she loved their vibrant city, Lucy couldn’t think of any more perfect way to start the day.

“Are you happy?”

At first she thought he’d fallen asleep again, murmuring nonsense into her temple. She pulled back to look up at him properly only to see his eyes, still languid, but very much awake and focused on her.

She blinked and shook her head, almost laughing.

“Why are you asking me that?”

It had the sound of a Tim Test, but not the feeling, and she wanted to decipher him a bit more before she inadvertently agreed to a weekend of jogging, or something equally as unappetising.

With his answer, he took her by surprise again.

“Because I’m happy.”

She and Tim had been thrust together in Mid-Wilshire, and she’d never been fully sure of Grey’s reasoning. Pairing Tim with Jackson would, on paper, have made far more sense, and probably would have been exactly what Percy West would have wanted. Grey wasn’t a rule breaker; never went out of his way to upset anyone’s applecart; so he must have had his reasons.

Whatever they were, it had either worked out - or backfired - spectacularly, and they remained the only Rookie/TO pairing that had ever completed their entire probation together since she’d arrived at Mid-Wilshire. Grey (probably) hadn’t expected their partnership to develop in quite the way that it had, but beyond a raised eyebrow or a knowing smirk, he never commented.

As far as she was concerned, she’d never seen Tim as a ‘project’. He’d started as a necessary pain-in-the-ass, developing, slowly, into someone she could rely on, could learn from; someone she could repay with the same opportunities he provided for her. Eventually, he became part of the furniture of her day; safe and comfortable and inviting, in his own way. Jackson and Nolan had never quite understood her, but she hadn’t needed to explain herself to them. Tim was just Tim. 

She never admitted to anyone that she’d been half-terrified going out into the world without him on her first proper day as P2. She’d bumped his number up on her speed-dial list, ensuring the phone’s voice-command would recognise her words and call him if she had to yell. It had all worked out fine, and, in retrospect, she was glad she’d had that extra time with Jackson. But it hadn’t stopped her secretly missing Tim’s gruff commands, the snarky roll of his eyes, or the days he’d quietly buy her lunch and walk away and leave her if she insulted him with payment.

In all that time he’d been rude, or tolerant; biting, or thoughtful; angry and miserable, or accepting and good-humoured. It had taken him time to show her all the facets of his personality, and she was still one of the rare few who ever got to see that much.

But to see him happy?

To see him happy, and to know he was happy?

To have him admit that he was happy?

Voluntarily?

This man was still full of surprises.

She surged up into him, kissing him hard and firm and fierce. She’d let go of his hand and her fingers combed through his hair, trying to pull his head as close to her as she could, stroking through the short hairs and along the warm skin of his neck.

He didn’t seem to mind her sudden attack, looping his arms tightly around her waist and drawing her in to him, one leg wrapping around the back of her knees, his fingers slipping cool and certain under her t-shirt and along her ribs.

She’d have been happy to keep going, but his stomach rumbled and he eventually pulled back, eyes closed and lips smiling, his nose and forehead pressed softly against her own.

“I’m very happy.” The words were nearly more a feeling, flowing from her mouth into his across the short space between them. “Very.”

He opened his eyes then, his pupils blurring before her, until he moved back and, still smiling, dropped a kiss onto her nose.

“Good.”

Kojo grumbled again, assuming he was still being spoken to, and Tim snorted, rolling away from her and throwing back the covers. Lucy groaned.

“Where are you going?” She couldn’t help that it sounded petulant, and she buried herself further under the blankets to add weight to her protest.

Tim’s voice was muffled as he pulled yesterday’s white t-shirt over his head.

“I’m hungry.”

“Ugh.” Lucy kicked her legs indignantly under the covers. “Kojo? Do you want to come up into this warm, cosy, comfortable bed with me instead?”

She heard the dog hop upright, his nails ticking along the floor as he scrambled out of his bed and around the room to the foot of hers.

“Kojo. Sit.” Tim’s voice was no-nonsense, and Kojo immediately complied, his tail thumping happily against the bedpost as he obligingly switched allegiances. “Only good boys who stay off the furniture get bacon and eggs.”

“You are literally - No. Fun.” Lucy complained, shuffling herself up against the headboard.

Tim threw her look as he opened the door, eyebrows raised, sly and suggestive. “I’m going to feed the dog. And the teenager.”

“The teenager is already fed!” Tamara’s voice sailed through the open door, tinged with long-suffering tolerance. Kojo abandoned Lucy’s bed, happily scampering out through the door to Tamara, closely followed by Tim.

Lucy pounded her fists into the comforter, watching the three of them gather outside around the kitchen island.

“Is everybody just gonna leave me this morning?”

“YES!” Tim and Tamara yelled together, Kojo adding a sharp bark to the cacophony.

Lucy grinned, throwing back the covers and clambering out of the bed.

There was nothing else she needed.

There was nowhere and no-one she’d rather be with.

She was exactly where she was supposed to be.

***

“Sergeant Bradford, I’ve been waiting over thirty minutes for you.” Grey admonished, pointedly checking his watch.

Tim threw his hands up, gesturing behind him to the departing armoured SWAT van. 

“Do you know how hard it is to manoeuvre a tank through rush-hour traffic?” He checked his own watch, making a face when he saw the time. “The last guy would never have made it to you this fast.”

“There was no ‘last guy’,” Grey replied, his eyes darting almost imperceptibly to Lucy. “Lieutenant Pine seems to have invented this post just for you.”

Tim cocked his head, refusing to take the bait, his eyes narrowing as he realised that Lucy had company. “You okay?”

“Bradford!”

Lucy didn’t have time to reply, interrupted by Noah’s enthusiastic greeting as he saluted Tim, followed closely by Lopez, her eyes sharp and curious. Tim nodded politely at Noah, taking a step closer to Lucy.

“Foster. What brings you down from Victorville?”

“That would be me,” Angela said, crossing her arms and looking at Lucy. “Noah can’t remember the licence plate of your truck.”

“I don’t have a truck,” Lucy answered, shaking her head, utterly disconcerted by the change of conversation.

“That’s what I told him.”

Noah rolled his eyes at Angela, holding out his palms to Lucy.

“The truck you came in to the club the other night.”

The pieces clicked into place, but Tim spoke before she could say anything.

“That was my truck.”

“Ah,” Noah grinned mischievously at her. “I should have realised that.”

“Wait, wait…” Chris’ voice startled Lucy, having almost forgotten that he was still standing beside her. He was blinking furiously, shaking his head in confusion. “What is going on here?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Nyla arrived on the scene, her words laced with irritation. “I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes in the conference room for you, attorney.” She fixed Chris with a glare that would have withered mould, coming to a stop beside Angela and unconsciously mirroring the same disgruntled stance.

“That’s my cue to leave,” Noah made a wry face at Lucy, tapping her elbow once. “Hey, Bradford! You joining us for lunch?”

Tim raised his eyebrows, which Noah seemed to take for answer, tossing another grin over his shoulder as Angela shunted him back down the corridor before her. 

“I thought we were taking Tamara for lunch at that college welcome afternoon thing?” Tim sidled up to Lucy, slipping his hand into the crook of her elbow. She frowned at him, shaking her head.

“That’s next week, you know that!”

“Oh,” he said, shrugging lightly. “Must have got my days confused.”

“Bradford! My office. Ten minutes!” Grey shot them an exasperated look, throwing his hands in the air and stalking off through the lobby.

“You, with me. Now!” Nyla was just as frustrated, shoving Chris on the shoulder and giving Tim a knowing glare. Chris stumbled once, his eyes flicking between Lucy, Tim, and Tim’s hand, now moving from Lucy’s elbow to the small of her back, turning her gently away from the others and towards himself. She heard Nyla repeat her order, and the shuffle of shoes on vinyl as she herded her charge off to the conference room.

“You ass.” Lucy pulled her hands out of Tim’s grip, slapping him gently in the chest. “You did that on purpose.”

His smile turned into a grin, and he bent down to her, dropping a quick kiss on the side of her lips.

“Did what?” His face radiated innocence, but the bright twinkle in his eye gave him away.

She glared at him, but there was no heat in it.

“Okay fine,” he admitted. “It’s been a long morning, I couldn’t help it.”

She squared her shoulders primly. “Thank you for your honesty.”

He chuckled once, stepping closer to her and wrapping his fingers into her hands. His face became serious.

“Since I’m being honest, I might as well tell you… I also lied to you.”

She felt her heart drop, the blood draining rapidly from her face.

“You…” She paused to swallow, tightening her grip on his fingers. “Okay. About what?”

Tim smiled sheepishly, tilting his head to one side.

“I am jealous. A little. Of Foster.”

Her heart thumped once, painfully, and she felt relief flood through her with a rush, coming out in a breathless laugh.

“Tim…”

“He got to spend all that time with you in Sacramento, and I didn’t. All that time without seeing you, without talking to you? Do you realise that’s the longest I’ve ever gone without hearing your voice since the day I first met you?” The question was gruff, but she knew him well enough to read the emotion behind it.

“I thought you’d have enjoyed the peace and quiet,” she quipped, giving him an out.

Tim shook his head, his eyes focused on her. He wasn’t taking it.

“It’s my own fault that I missed out.” There was an unfamiliar, wistful smile on his face, and she tugged on his hands, pulling him down to her level.

“There’s nothing to be jealous of. You and I - we were inevitable. We’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.”

And without thinking, workplace be damned, she kissed him.

“Bradford!”

Grey’s voice ricocheted around the glass walls of the lobby, and Tim pulled back from her with a grin.

“See you at lunchtime?”

She nodded happily, her forehead still pressed against his.

“BRADFORD!”

“Wuh-oh.”

[my-shields-are-down]

Chenford + I lied, it wasn't just biology

Lucy was wishing she had applied multiple layers of antiperspirant all over her body as she began to stress sweat with anxiety nerves. She thought to herself again, WHY ? OMG - why had she volunteered to do this for Grey? She was never going to live this down, but hopefully she could turn this moment of embarrassment into something magical and wonderful for herself.

Lucy checked her outfit in the bathroom mirror and adjusted her red sequined top one last time, smoothing the one shoulder cropped top and triple checking the matching skirt with the thigh high slit. Then she applied one last coat of “devil may care” red lipstick. Oh well, here we go!

She stepped into the foyer where Nyla and Angela were waiting for her in similar dresses - theirs however were green. The three women shared a secret smile and Lucy thanked them one last time for their help with “everything.” Lucy asked, “are we good on the cards?” Nyla replied, “all set. Lucy - we’ve got this. Don’t worry. He’s not going to know what hit him.” Angela leaned over and hugged Lucy, whispering in her ear, “He’s standing back by the tree - likely trying to hide. Luna is grabbing him and pulling him closer to the front, so he can be one of the men you touch.” Lucy nods, as Angela waves the card - and puts it in the middle of her pile to hand out.

Wade stuck his head out in the hallway and asked if they were ready? All 3 nod, so he turns to the group in his living room and says, “all right, all right. Quiet please! Let’s make some space. Luna - go grab Tim from behind the tree, thank you. Thank you all for coming to our annual holiday party. Yes, yes. Quiet. Thank you. As you know, every year Luna and I rope some of your colleagues into providing “entertainment” for our gathering - who can forget Smitty’s drunk Santa? Tonight, we have something very special for everyone. The Elves are back and will be handing out cards to everyone - they are all different - please feel free to swap them AFTER the performance, okay?! Thank you. Okay, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen for one night only, please welcome Vixen and the Merry Elves!”

Grey hit the lights off and then after Lucy, Angela and Nyla tapped his arm, the lights came back on with the three of them draped on him. Lucy standing in front with Angela and Nyla on either side of Grey - who now has a Santa hat jauntily perched on his head. The crowd starts whooping, cheering and applauding. When Lucy starts to sing, the living room instantly quiets….

“I don't want a lot for Christmas……. there is just one thing I need……

I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you for my own……. More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true…………..All I want for Christmas is you .”

There’s a momentary pause and then the karaoke machine clicks on and Grey hands Lucy a bedazzled microphone and she starts to move around the room, simultaneously singling and touching all the men seductively, running her hands across their chests, or down their arms.

Lucy sits in Smitty’s lap and he turns beet red and laughs.

When she stands in front of Tim as the song is drawing to a close- she first runs her hands across her collar bone, and then slowly drags her hand down his chest all while making direct eye contact and grabbing his belt buckle to pull him close flirtatiously as she croons, “All I want for Christmas is you.” Lucy then winks at him as Angela hands him his card and says, “Don’t you dare fuck this up.”

Tim stands in the living room - rooted in place as people applaud and mingle, swapping cards, laughing and then starting to leave. He can’t move. His brain has short circuited. Lucy was touching him. In PUBLIC, looking like a dream. He slowly comes back to himself when someone bumps into him so he runs his palm over his face to calm down. Trying not to show just how much he was affected by her.

Tim and Ashley had broken up the night before - when Ashley had accepted a job offer in Bali and expected him to retire on the spot to go with her. She was pissed that he was open to talking about it, but not open to actually doing it. He couldn’t, no wouldn’t leave LA. Leave the job he loved. Leave Lucy. Tim knew he was in love with Lucy, but he thought she loved Chris and he would suffer in silence as long as he could still be near her in any kind of way. He had told Lucy earlier today that he and Ashley were no more - and Lucy had hugged him, thinking he was sad over losing Ashley. As if.

He finally tuned into the conversations around him - something about gift cards. Tim opened his card and there was a picture of Kojo - sitting there with a roasted leg of some animal in his mouth looking ridiculously proud of himself , while wearing a Christmas sweater covered in pics of him and Lucy on it like snowflakes.. The caption on the card read, “Caught me a reindeer! May all Your Christmas Wishes Come True! (over). Tim laughed and turned the card over to see Lucy’s handwriting:

“I lied, it wasn’t just biology for me. I broke up with Chris this morning. Come meet me at mine for your present.”

Tim looked up and saw Grey standing in front of him- holding his keys and his coat. Wade leaned forward and said, “I think there’s somewhere else you need to be.”

Next thing Tim knew he was standing in front of Lucy’s door knocking and praying…. When she opened the door, he immediately stepped into her apartment, into her space and asked, “you broke up with Chris?” Lucy smiled at him, replying, “didn’t you hear me when I sang to you? All I want for Christmas is you.”

======

This is my FAVORITE holiday song. I can see everyone in Wade’s living room joining in and singing along to this. Always puts me in the best mood.

[m3lzalz-honeybee-noble]

Random 5x05 thoughts (I know I’m Late to the celebration)

- Regarding Ashy and Tim’s Breakup (Good Riddance)

Ashy breaking up with Tim

My first thoughts were against Ashy breaking it off with Tim, but now I have come to accept that it was her, and I’m not mad at it. It’s finally done. I have seen many different perspectives and all are valid. Just thought I’d offer my take.

Ashy was either really oblivious or so narcissistic that she didn’t see Lucy as a threat. I mean, the signs have blatantly been there since the beginning. Not sure how she missed them. To be fair , we didn’t get enough background on her, in order to confirm or deny Lucy factored into her reasoning for breaking up with Tim. Her actual, displayed reasoning for the breakup was out of left field, and I had the same initial thoughts as some others, why date a cop in the first place, if you couldn’t handle being with one long term. After some thought, I came up with something that I haven’t seen discussed here yet. Now, I am not making any excuses for her, and the cold way she ended things, but I am trying to make sense of the breakup on her end. I think that maybe Tim being hurt and going into emergency surgery, may have triggered repressed, childhood trauma, regarding her dad. Our reactions/ responses to trauma/ reliving trauma, can sometimes be irrational and spontaneous. That trigger may have sent her into a tailspin, hence her talking about retirement, and not allowing time to pass before ending their relationship. She didn’t want to relive those feelings she and her mother went through when she was a child.

Tim Not being the one to break up with Ashy

I am curious and forgive me for maybe missing something, because I only rewatch Chenford scenes, but when did Tim ever reference or say that it would be an end all, be all (Dealbreaker), in his relationship, if his significant other did not want to marry or have kids? I only remember him saying that he thought he’d have kids by now, and he and Isabel talked about it. He did express surprise/ a little disappointment when Ashy revealed she didn’t want that, but I thought it was because most people are shocked/ surprised/ a little disappointed when a woman expresses that sentiment, as if it is taboo. I personally don’t think that was a main factor or reasoning to end his relationship with her, unless it is still what he really wants.

The main factor(s) that should have had him end that relationship, is the emotional and almost physical cheating with Lucy. Also, how Ashy was subtly manipulating him to conform to her wants and needs, instead of allowing him to be himself, with a little compromise. It also seems, to me at least, Tim was still very much of the mindset that he was in the early stages of dating, and they weren’t as exclusive to him, as they were to her. She said she loves him 🤮; he didn’t say it back. On screen canon tells me that he doesn’t love her. He also told Angela he’s dating Ashley in 5x01, even though he’s called her his GF, other times. (When is dating no longer dating? How long have they even been together, a year? Aaron finished his FTO program in that time. Isn’t it 18 months altogether?)

Was it fair for Tim to lead Ashy on? No, but he probably looked at their relationship, as a safety net, and because he didn’t follow through with the physical cheating, he most likely thought he could focus all his energy/efforts in his relationship with her, grow to love her, and get over his burgeoning feelings for Lucy. I don’t think him not ending things with Ashy, means he doesn’t have feelings for/ love Lucy. To him, Lucy has already moved on, with Chrispy. Logically, why forfeit any chance at potentially being happy? A lot of people settle, when they can’t be with the one they truly love. Yes, he is a man of honor, and what he was doing is quite the opposite of being honorable, but sometimes honorable people can have lapses in judgement, and make mistakes, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. That’s an internal struggle he could be dealing with/ trying to rationalize, under the surface. We won’t know, until it is said aloud, if ever.

Side note: Just thinking about why Tim was outlandishly considering retirement, and the only reasoning I can come up with, aside from him humoring Ashy, was that he was also factoring in a potential solution to the superior/senior officer roadblock that is preventing him from being with Lucy. 👀

I loved this episode and have many thoughts, about it. I’ll prob make another post solely about Lucy and Tim❤️. This is too long. Thank you for sticking with me til the end if you made it this far.

[firstdegreefangirl]

Chenford + Look at me, Lucy...

“All it means is that we can focus on catching her accomplice, before he kills anyone else.” Tim emphasizes the word focus, trying to draw Lucy’s attention away from the body lying on the stairs. He knows Nolan had to preserve the scene, but part of him wishes someone would at least close Rosalind’s eyes. At least then, it wouldn’t feel like she’s still watching them, even in death. 

More sirens wail in the distance. He and Grey turn to look, but Lucy stays rooted to her spot.  

“Here come the feds to help,” Grey mutters. Tim knows what he means: The FBI was inevitable on a case of this caliber, but a pissing match isn’t what any of them need today. He lets Grey take point, strolling over to meet the agents getting out of their SUVs; Tim will keep his own officers in line. 

He looks over to Nolan, standing with his arm around Bailey as a crime scene tech swabs blook off his face. Tim can check in with him later. Thorsen in lingering with Angela and Nyla; Tim makes a mental note to keep an eye out and decide if he’d make a strong detective someday. 

Even Smitty is assisting one of the crime scene techs. Everyone is working hard. 

Except Lucy. 

She’s a few steps away now, still exactly where she’d been standing when Tim had started to follow Grey. Her gaze is still locked on Rosalind, like she’s looking for some sort of answer. 

She’s not going to find it here, whatever she’s looking for. 

“Officer Chen,” Tim starts, coming back up beside her. He’s not sure why he takes the professional approach, as if everyone here doesn’t know they’re friends. 

Friends. That’s all, Tim reminds himself firmly as he rests a hand on her shoulder. 

“Lucy.” He tries again when she doesn't respond. This time, he feels her muscles tense under his touch. “Look at me, Lucy.”  

Nothing in all his years of training and on-the-job experience could have prepared Tim for the look on Lucy’s face when she turns around. 

He’s pulled her out of the ground, breathed life back into her lungs, and he’s still not prepared for how lost she looks. Even now, she’s looking through Tim as much as she’s looking at him. 

“Lucy,” he repeats, jostling her slightly. She blinks, then shakes her head slightly and focuses on Tim. “She’s gone.”  

“It feels … easy. Too easy. Just … just like that, one shot. We didn’t even get her.”  

“I know.” And he does. This isn’t the first time he’s felt the bittersweet sting of someone else taking down a suspect he’d been looking for, even if it is the most dramatic. “But it’s over now. She’s over now.” 

“Yeah …" She still sounds distant, so Tim ducks his head to look her in the eyes. 

“It gets better from here,” he says, squeezing her shoulder lightly. “I promise.” 

[myrandomfandomramblings]

Countdown to Chenford: September 23, 2022 - Chenford + _____ (person, place, thing, etc.) OR Underrated S4 moment

The entire bet in 4x06- Poetic Justice, particularly the implication that they spent the entire day texting each other. And in terms of moments when Lucy delayed her team to text Tim and the super extended handshake were highlights.

So I decided to write a fanfic of what would happen if they both had to complete the requirements like they lost. I.e. Lucy had to stay quiet in the shop for an entire shift and Tim had to do something completely out of his comfort zone, Lucy’s choice. In this fic Lucy chooses getting his Tarot cards read. Which was super fun to write but as I knew nothing about Tarot all my knowledge came from several hours of internet research, so all mistakes are my own. Nevertheless, it turned out better than I had hoped, so enjoy!

Even when I lose, I’m winning - A Chenford fanfic

Tim and Lucy had both finally conceded that the treasure hunt bet was a tie and of course agreed that meant they both won. Further argument regarding wether that meant they both owed the other the agreed upon debt or wether neither had to under go the repercussions lasted several days. Ultimately they decided they’d both pay up. Meaning Lucy had to stay quiet for an entire shift and Tim had to do something out of his comfort zone, Lucy’s choice. She had chosen getting his Tarot cards read which had earned a very exaggerated eye roll. It had taken several more months for them to agree on a day for them both to pay up. But today was finally the day and Lucy was up first.

She decided shift officially started when Grey started roll call so until then she was happily chatting with Nolan and when Tim walked in she greeted him.

“Good morning”

“Your not allowed to talk today. A few minutes in and you’ve already lost. I thought you were better than that Chen.”

“Shift starts at 7 and it’s … 6:57,” she rebuts checking her watch, “I can talk as much as I want for the next 3 minutes.”

“2” Tim replies seeing 6:58 on his own watch.

She uses her 2 minutes to tease Tim about choosing such a pathetic wager. Afterall, what was he really hoping to get out of this. It really wasn’t going to bother her. As much as she enjoyed conversation she didn’t mind silence and nobody likes silence enough to value it over any other possible payment. Not even Tim. Oh well, his loss is her gain.

Grey called for everyone’s attention at 7 on the dot and Lucy mimed zippering her lips and throwing away the key as Tim pointed at his watch screen. Let the games begin.

Roll call passed without event. Tim and Lucy were assigned a B and E that the residents discovered upon waking this morning, so far it didn’t seem like anything was taken. The address was about as far from the station as it could get while still being in there jurisdiction and traffic was, well LA traffic at rush hour. Needless to say it was not a quick trip. Tim informed her he didn’t even think she’d last til they got there. She just fixed him with a look that said “want to bet” before returning her attention to the streets around them. As Tim drove Lucy focused on her thoughts. Her and Tamara had started a Monday night tradition of dinner together followed by the Bachelor. Next week was her turn to cook and she still hadn’t decided on a dish. She flipped through options in her mind, evaluating the pros and cons and suppressing the urge to ask Tim for his input. She ultimately decided on lotus root soup hoping to create better memories to associate with it and compiled a mental grocery list. This led to her thinking about the show itself. They were only a few weeks in, which meant there was still way more woman than Lucy (or the bachelor) knew what to do with. She decided to challenge herself to see how many she could remember. There was Bridget aka Birdy who had exited the limo dressed as a Bird. Karen (yes that was her real name) who had asked  “can I steal you for minute” at least 5 times in the first episode. The lady who got the first impression rose’s name was Tina. The only Asian contestant this season was Cindy. She was one of Lucy’s favorites so far along with Addison and Kate. There was the one with the super cute dog in her intro package. She thinks her name was Becca, or was it Britt? Maybe neither but she was pretty sure there was at least one of each in the mansion. Similarly she recalled a Lauren and an Ashley, maybe two and at least two Hannah’s, one of which was the redhead. There was Candy who had introduced herself as “not a stripper, but just as fun” and Kristen the Christian who was saving herself for marriage and felt the need to share that before anything else about herself, including her name. Lucy was just about to admit that was all she could recall when they turned onto the street where their destination lay.

Once out of the shop the call took all of about 5 minutes. Turns out the teenage son had snuck out and been a little to inebriated upon his return to figure out how to put the screen back into the window. His parents elected not to press charges.

Tim rolled his eyes as they climbed back into the shop mumbling something about kids these days. Lucy couldn’t hide her smirk but didn’t say a word.

She let her mind wander as she continued to scan the streets for any sign of trouble and could feel Tim’s eyes on her periodically but every time she turned to meet them he quickly turned away. Not 10 minutes after leaving their first call Lucy was surprised to have her thoughts interrupted by Tim.

“Ah. So how was your weekend?”

Lucy almost answered as a reflex but caught herself just in time. Shaking her head once again gesturing to indicate her sealed lips.

There was another beat of silence then Tim continued.

“Well I got to see baby Jack. Babysat for Lopez and Wes so they could have a date night.” He paused then continued on, telling her all about Jack and affectionately complaining about Angela. He paused after every couple of sentences as if waiting for Lucy to jump in but since she never did he kept talking. When he finished his story the pause was longer and Lucy figured they’d fall back into comfortable silence until their next call. That lasted maybe 2 minutes before Tim spoke up again. This time he spoke about his nephews and their interest in football. This progressed into him sharing how he had always imagined teaching his own kids how to throw a spiral someday. It was still punctuated by the short pauses and Lucy had to admit she was tempted to fill it after the comment about his future, after all he was still rarely this open with her, especially unprompted and that’s when she started  to wonder what he was up to. That suspicion grew when he next launched into what amounted to a play by play of last Sunday Ram’s game. Was he trying to annoy her, to prove a point about her usual chatter. To make her talk so he could “win”, tell her he told her so or get out of his payment later. She wasn’t sure but luckily his recap was interrupted in the 3rd quarter by a call. It was also rather straight forward and not long after they got back into the shop Tim picked up right where he had left off. By the time he was done Lucy was no closer to guessing his motivations but she had to admit she was kind of enjoying listening to him talk. Even though she had little interest in football, he spoke about every aspect with such enthusiasm that she couldn’t help but smile. It was also time for lunch. The first half was spent in silence but to her surprise Tim once again spoke up and the second half was spent listening to him talk about Kojo. Another call ended their lunch but was handled rather quickly. Once back in the shop again long stretches of silence were interspersed with Tim stuttering out what sounded like a list of conversation starters one would find on the internet. “So the weather today,” “Did you see that news article,” “Did you hear about that political scandal”. The only one that lasted for more than a couple sentences was when Tim spotted a billboard for pumpkin spice lattes and ranted about the “commercialization of fall” for 20 minutes. Another 20 minutes of silence ended when to Lucy’s astonishment Tim switched on the radio, choosing a sports station. She stared at him dumbfounded but managed to keep her mouth shut as he fixed her with a smirk and a shrug. They listened to the announcers for maybe 20 minutes until Tim turned the radio off.

“Guess there’s not a lot going on today. Why don’t you radio Lopez and see if she has anything we can help with,” he said.

Since they agreed Lucy could talk when it was work related she agreed, but Lopez had nothing for them.

Next she tried Nyla, then Nolan and Thorsen, then Grey, then dispatch. All at Tim’s request. She drew the line when he suggested Smitty, shaking her head.

“Fine,” he sighed turning his attention back to the road.

They sat in silence for another 20 minutes then he spoke again.

“Ok. You proved your point. You can talk now.”

She just raised her eyebrows at him and pointed at the dashboard clock indicating it was not yet 2 and thus there were still 5 more hours left in their shift.

She wasn’t sure what he was trying to pull. Firstly, she wasn’t trying to prove anything just pay her debt from “losing” their bet. Was he trying to blatantly cheat to get her to talk in hopes that he could argue that she didn’t fulfill her end of the deal so he didn’t have to fulfill his?

“Seriously it’s fine. And I’ll still do your stupid tarot thing tonight.”

So much for that theory.

“Okay?” She asked tentatively, waiting for the gotcha moment. But all she got was a subtle lift of the corner of his mouth “What’s the catch.”

“No catch. I just…” he trailed off.

“Just what?”

He shrugged.

“Tell me now or I’ll stop talking again,” she teased.

“I just. I just missed your voice, okay. The silence wasn’t as enjoyable as I remembered it,” he quickly spat out and Lucy didn’t miss how the tips of his ears turned red. “Happy now?”

“Very,” she smiled then changing the subject. “earlier you asked me what I did this weekend. While it was an adventure,” she continued launching into a story of her own and felt herself relax as Tim relaxed beside her.

—later that night—

Lucy picked Tim up at 9, after they both had a chance to eat and shower, and they drove to her tarot place (yes she had a Tarot place). As they walked in Tim had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes as the room was as stereotypically decorated as possible. Shelves along all the walls were draped with colorful tapestries and filled with crystals, statues, and books on divinity, spirituality and magic and there were diagrams of palm reading and astrological charts hung above each shelf. The rest of the small room was taken up by a short table with large decorative pillows on either side. The woman seated on the far side of the table looked completely out of place. She was young, probably Lucy’s age with curly red hair pulled back into a braid, bright blue eyes sparkling behind thick glasses, and she wore jeans and a band shirt. A patterned scarf tied as a headband was the only link between her and the room she inhabited.

“Lucy,” she squeaked as they entered the room, “it’s been too long.”

“It really has. Thanks again for doing this,” Lucy said reaching over to hug the woman.

“My pleasure.”

“Are most people this close with their psychic?” Tim questioned.

“I’m not a psychic,” the woman corrected.

“This is my friend Jeanie,” Lucy introduced, “we met in college. She’s also a master of the mystical arts.”

“Nobody could ever truely master them but that’s kind of you to say.”

“Your name’s really Jeanie?” Tim questioned with a smirk.

“It’s short for Jeanette, after my grandmother,”

“Ah. It’s nice,” Tim floundered and both woman giggled.

“So should we get started?” Jeanie asked.

Tim and Lucy nodded and took a seat on the pillows opposite her.

The space really was tight and Tim was acutely aware of his knee brushing Lucy’s.

“So there are two main types of readings,” Jeanie explained, “question readings and open readings. As it’s your first time I would recommend a question reading as it’s more specific and thus can be easier to understand.”

“Ah Ok,” Tim shrugged looking at Lucy who nodded.

“So I ‘m going to ask you to formulate a question.”

“Will the Ram’s win the Super Bowl again,” Tim offered.

“Umm Ok,” Jeanie said shooting Lucy a look of is he for real, “ that’s good but I think we can make it better. First we should keep our options open. If it can be answered with a yes or no, or you already know the answer it’s probably too narrow. Try starting with ‘how can I’”

“How can I make the most money in fantasy football?”

“Ok, that’s better. I like that it’s positive and focused on you but it’s still a little too narrow. Maybe try something not football related.”

“Ah. I don’t know. What was the last question you used?” He turns to Lucy.

“Oh. I guess it would have been, How can I deal with Jackson’s death.”

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s Ok,” Lucy cuts him off placing a hand on his arm, “ it helped.” Her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears but her voice is steady and the small smile on her face is one of hope.

“That’s also a good point. Sometimes the answers we seek are deeply personal. If you don’t want to share with us that’s ok. You can keep it between you and the cards.”

Tim nods but still isn’t sure what to ask. Coming into this he thought Lucy had chosen it just to make him uncomfortable and had no intention of taking it seriously but given her recent admission he wonders if her motives were purer. If she had really hoped he’d get something out of it. Find enlightenment or whatever. It’s just like Lucy to make him seize every opportunity for growth and he finds himself truely invested. As he looks back at her, so full of hope and light despite all the darkness she’s seen the question forms easily “How do I make Lucy happy?”. Just thinking the question scares him more than he can really comprehend but it feels real and raw and he’s positive he can’t come up with anything better.

“Got it,” he tells Jeanie, “but I’m not sharing,” he teases Lucy whose smile widens as she raises her hands in fake surrender.

Jeanie hands him a deck of large cards and asks him to shuffle them and infuse them with his energy.

Lucy laughs at him as he tries to do the bridge and cards go flying all over the room.

“Most people don’t try to shuffle them like playing cards,” Lucy informs him.

“Well at least now I know they’re not rigged,” he replies as Jeanie collects the cards from around the room back into a neat deck before dealing them out onto the table.

When she sets the deck aside 10 cards remain on the table facedown. They���te arranged resembling a sword and shield although Jeanie informs them it’s the Celtic cross spread.

“Ok so we are going to start with the first card,” she says as she flips over the bottom card forming a cross in the middle of the ‘shield’. “This is the center card and represents you right now, what’s most prevalent in you life and what’s going on for you right now.”

Tim’s nodding along but not sure he’s really understanding while Lucy’s already analyzing the flipped over card.

“So Two of Cups,” Jeanie continues pointing to the overturned card, “means connecting with someone. So perhaps establishing a new relationship, wether that be romantic, platonic or professional. Or maybe acknowledging or strengthening an existing bond.”

Tim can already feel himself blushing and feeling Lucy’s eyes on the side of his face isn’t helping. But he tries the best to ignore it. After-all they’re just beginning and that card could mean anything.

“And then the next card is the card that crosses you and this card can either be something that can help you on your path or something that can hinder you, depending on what kind of a card it is and sometimes you can actually interpret the card both ways.” She flips over the next card placing it across the first.

“Ok so we have Two of Swords,”

“That’s a pair is that good?” Tim asks genuinely curious.

Lucy snorts. “Good try but that’s not how this works.” Tim nods and turns his attention back to Jeanie.

“Two of swords is about blocking emotions, avoiding truths or feeling stuck. So being scared to act or decide and instead pretending everything’s fine and hiding your true feelings.”

Tim immediately feels his entire body tighten as he’s directly called out.

“Then what we do is compare the two cards and see how they relate.” Jeanie continues oblivious to Tim’s internal turmoil. “And to me this card,” she says pointing to the swords “is not going to help, its more of a warning of what might stand in your way. So you’re trying to build or deepen a relationship and the 2 of swords is a warning that denying your feelings or avoiding action could jeopardize that. So it’s important to take an open and honest approach to this connection.”

It sounds like such common sense when she says it but it hits Tim like a ton of bricks. Before he can process that further she continues.

“The bottom card is the card of the subconscious. So what is happening behind the scenes that you are unaware of so it can represent your unconscious wants and your unconscious desires. So it’s something that’s affecting you but you might not be totally aware that it is. So we have the Page of cups.,” she says flipping it over, “Page cards are all about learning something and not being an expert and cups represent emotion and intimacy. So the page of cups is really about learning to be vulnerable, let your emotions show and connect with others more deeply, but being imperfect at it. So relating that back to our present day card,” Jeanie continues pointing at the 2 of cups, “we could say that subconsciously you wish to let your heart lead the way and get closer to someone by being loving and intimate and emotional but there’s also a subconscious fear that this is unfamiliar territory for you and you worry you won’t be able to give everything the relationship deserves.” Once again she moves on before Tim can fully unpack what she has said.

“Next we have the card of the past,” she says flipping over the left most card. “This represents energies, or events or people in the past who are still affecting you right now. So what’s gone on in the past to lead to what’s going on right now. So what we have is the tower.”

Tim can’t help but stare at the card depicting to people falling from a tall tower that is engulfed in flames and struck by lightening.

“The tower represents sudden change: undergoing a crisis, having plans shaken up. It represents falling down and being humbled and it represents revelation, or a sudden burst of insight.”

Tim doesn’t hear how Jeanie relates it to his present card because a video montage is playing through his head. Lucy standing outside Isabel’s apartment begging him not to do something that would forever change him, ruining his plans. Him kneeling in the middle of the desert grasping a sobbing Lucy to his chest. Her in his arms again in his house after Jackson and in the hospice hallway after confronting his dad. He hears her voice over the phone as he realizes he doesn’t have his money clip, her laugh at seeing him covered in baby powder and her defiant sir every time she challenged an order. He feels her lips against his as everything around them melts away until Tamara walks in and he feels his brain explode as he stands in the hall trying to comprehend what just happened as realization is thrust upon him. He’s pulled back to reality by the real Lucy who’s placed her hand on his thigh and is asking him if he’s ok.

He nods and refocuses his attention, while unconsciously covering her hand with his.

“The top card is a card representing your hopes, your ideals and your goals,” Jeanie continues “Unlike the bottom card this card represents what you’re aware of and where you’re consciously directing your energy.”

She flips over the card to reveal the King of swords.

“The king of swords represents intelligence and logic. As well as ethics and justice. It’s about analyzing a situation from all angles and doing what is right. Using intelligence and logic to live up to a high moral code.”

Lucy laughs and Tim turns to face her as she covers her mouth.

“I’m sorry that’s just so you,” she continues.

It was hard to argue with that considering he had spent more time than he’d ever admit listing all the logical reasons it would be wrong to pursue a romantic relationship with Lucy. He was technically her superior officer, it could damage her career, she could not reciprocate his feelings and he’d be pressuring her, it could ruin their friendship, she deserved better (someone younger with less baggage), etc., etc.

“So next we compare your conscious and unconscious motivators” Jeanie was saying “and I think it’s fair to say they aren’t in alignment. They’re conflicting.”

Even Tim could appreciate the contrast between the young boy with his golden cup and the stoic king upon his throne with his sword at ready.

“This is important because if what’s driving you unconsciously is totally different from where you’re putting your energy it could mean that you’re doing things out of a desire to please others, or because you feel that you should be doing that or because it makes rational sense but it’s not really what you want to be doing.”

It’s Lucy who put it into words as she whispers under her breath.

“All you want to do is be open and vulnerable and give and receive love and care but instead you’re trying to follow some short-sighted code of honor that’s actually preventing you from doing what’s best.”

Tim’s not sure if she meant for him to hear it or not but the way her hand twists to hold his and her thumb begins to stroke his own is definitely meant for him.

“This card is the card of the near future,” Jeanie continues flipping over the last card in the ‘shield’ “so what’s going to be happening in the next few weeks or so, but it’s important to remember that the future is changeable, you are not a passive person subjected to fate. You have that power to change things.”

“So this is the ten of wands and it represents feeling burdened, overextended and like you’re struggling. You can’t see anything in-front of you besides your burdens and responsibilities , they are consuming you and you need to lighten the load for the sake of your well-being. So if we relate that back to our present day card we want to reflect on what we are doing in our life right now that may be contributing to this outcome.”

Tim doesn’t need much time to reflect he knows now he’s letting his worries, fears and insecurities weigh him down and if he doesn’t do something about them soon they’ll take over his entire life.

“So the next card we are going to turn over represents you and your approach to things, your beliefs and your actions and how you’re approaching this whole situation,” she says gesturing to the cards that are already face up before turning over the bottom card of the ‘sword’ to join them.

“We have the Justice card, which represents acting ethically and taking responsibility but also making decisions and recognizing the impacts of your actions. Judgement often appears when you are concerned with doing what is right or as a signal to do what needs to be done. Such as, when you need to weigh matters carefully and perhaps make important decisions about your future course.”

Tim just has time to appreciate the similarity between the king of swords and the judgement card, but also the main difference, the clear lack of a scale in the kings hand. He takes this to mean that his conscious actions and goals are focused more on the offensive, taking actions to be fair and just and not enough on actually taking the time to carefully weigh and consider options and decisions. He’s surprised by how easily that comes to him and how invested he’s truly become in this reading.

“The next card represents your environment so it can be seen as representing your family, your friends, your coworkers, basically all the people and the energies that are surrounding you right now.” Jeanie says as she flips over the next card. “So this card can let you know if the environmental is hostile or friendly and you can compare it with the card below to see if how your approaching things is in alignment with your environment.”

Tim doesn’t know what to make of the new card which seems to show bamboo sprouting out from the left hand side. Luckily Jeanie explains.

“This is the 8 of wands it represents putting plans into action and making your move. It can also mean having elements come together or having a meaningful conversation. So when we look at the alignment between you and your environment we see some disharmony. Those around you are ready for change and action, while you’re still weighing your options to make a decision.”

Tim knows some people in his life are expecting action. Angela for one has been bugging him for months about his feelings for Lucy and he’s pretty sure she has money on him doing something about them in the not so near future. But the real question is does Lucy feel the same. Is she ready, even waiting, to take actions that would change their relationship and lives?Before Tim can ponder this further, Jeanie’s moving on.

“So this is a really exciting card because it represents something you need to know about that you’re not yet aware of. In lots of ways it’s like a guidance card,” Jeanie explains turning the card over.

“So we have the ten of cups and we want to ask ourselves why did this card come up in this position. What is it that we need to know. So the ten of cups is all about feeling joy, enjoying peace and bonding with family. It’s one of the most positive cards in the deck and I see it as a symbol of what emotional life could be like at its best, an ideal that is within reach for each of us. So in this position it may be telling you what is possible.”

Tim couldn’t help but smile looking at the colorful card depicting a happy family with young kids dancing under a rainbow filled with shiny golden cups, parents arms open in celebration and welcoming. It really did exude happiness and harmony. Could that really be possible for him? For him and Lucy?

Jeanie of course is already moving on.

“The last card represents the distant future,” she says,“ basically it represents where all of these energies are going, flowing towards,” she continues gesturing at the surrounding cards. She turns it over to reveal the Lovers card and Tim’s acutely aware of the heat creeping up his neck as he feels Lucy’s hand still in his own.

“So the Lover’s card, as you can imagine,” Jeanie continues now smiling ear to ear, “represents love and sex but also values and personal beliefs. It often refers to a relationship that is based on deep love. It may not be sexual but it often is or could be. It can also represent attractive forces, making up your mind and finding out what you care about.”

Jeanie continues to talk about how it relates to other cards in the spread and taking a step back to look at the reading as a whole. But Tim isn’t listening he’s painfully aware of the story. He’s in love with his best friend, who also happens to be currently seated beside him. He’s been denying and fighting his feelings and chalking it up to honour when in reality it was fear. He’s completely overlooked the possibility that maybe these feelings aren’t a bad thing maybe they’re reciprocated and maybe they can lead to something magical. Maybe he doesn’t need to suffer maybe he can have everything he’s ever wanted and more.

It’s one simple sentence that pulls him out of his thoughts.

“And that’s it. I hope it answered your question?”

Then he’s right back in them. His question. He had completely forgotten this had all started with a question: how could he make Lucy happy? As he looks back at the spread as Jeanie’s cleaning them up the final piece falls into place. Could it be so simple that the exact thing that would make Tim happiest would do the same for her?

And then he’s flooded with a sea of emotions and he needs air.

He’s able to shakily get to his feet, thanking Jeanie and telling Lucy he’ll meet her outside so she can say goodbye to her friend as he begrudgingly untangles his hand from hers.

He doesn’t now how much time passes as he stares up at the stars and lets the winter air sink into his bones but it helps his head clear and he knows what he has to do.

“What are you thinking?” Lucy asks, as she walks up to join him.

“That I’m grateful you brought me here tonight,” he replies honestly. “And that I don’t want to wait for the distant future,” he finishes before pulling her in for an earth shattering kiss.

When they finally pull apart Lucy’s smile lights up the night.

“Much better than your first,” she teases before cutting off his protest with another kiss.

And it feels like the end of a rom-com that would fade to black but Tim knows the truth it isn’t the ending, it’s only the beginning.

[farfarawaygirl]

Can you speculate what you think their long game/plan might be? Because I had been really enjoying this episode but the end scene with Tim and Ashley really ruined it for me and I’m not sure where they go from here.

okay,

I think that what we are seeing now is the proof that Alexi meant what he said when he called Chenford a "will they or won't they" not a slowburn.

The long game, as I see, is keep having Tim and Lucy dance as close to that line as possible - and always leave us wanting more. We can see this in other will they or won't they couples - Jim and Pam, Ben and Amy, Jess and Nick, - it is predicated by a deep and often complex friendship. We know that Tim and Lucy are friends, and now we have seen them interact outside of work a few times this season, they have a professional pull with each other, and they rely on one another.

We are going to keep dancing up to that line - I think the next step in this would be others acknowledging or questioning what is happening between them. I want to see that! Have Nolan ask for clarity on what is happening between Tim and Lucy, have people they arrest wonder if they are married, -- let Grey mention to Tim that while he can date an officer, he can't date his own Aide.

On a separate note - the Tim and Ashley scene at the end is a good reminder that we want to see 'Character Growth™️' not 'Characters Change'. Tim is a universally loved character, people love him even when was an asshole, we don't want him to be a completely different person. We like his grittiness. The growth we saw in S1/2/3 made him even more loved - and gave us a character arc we could root for.

Tim trying to change for Ashley can only lead to burnout, or hurt feelings. You shouldn't want to fundamentally change a partner. I don't mean that you should have expectations, and expect growth/improvement, but don't date a hunter is you want to marry a vegan.

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

I just want to leave this here, and point out that Lucy, even in those early days when Tim was the biggest asshole, saw the good in him, and knew he didn't need changing.

My hope is that Tim will make a change, or compromise in some way, and the end result with be a negative impact for Lucy - and that will be what snaps him out of his fog.

[iameks]

The Rookie 4x05

This post contains spoiler.

.

.

.

.

FINALLY THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE.

I'm feeling like so much happened for everyone.

I literally loved Pete. The way he arrived, that fake emergency just to trick Nolan. I actually can't belive that two people who met by chance at a police station —one because is a stripper and was helping with a case and the other one because his half brother recently met is a cop— managed to stay together all this time, but I liked them as I liked them the first time.

Grey making Tim confess his past Halloween, even if it was in the sneak peak, was completely funny and yes I hoped to get more, but to be honest I'm quite happy with what chenford talked about.

BABIES. MAKING THEM. Of course not together, not yet. But can I just say that in the past he would have just dismissed the discussion declaring that they would have not talked about any of that stuff bc personal boundaries etc and now we have Tim making heart to heart confessions about his original plan????? I'm still screaming if I think about it. Let alone the topic, but the way Tim opened up with Lucy without her even pressing him to know, and the way he just brought up his family's past mentioning like Lucy knows everything —bc yes I'm getting the feeling that she knows more than just his dad beating him up, but that's kind of another topic—, idk it showed how much their relationship has grown, how much it's still growing. And yes, I know it's that much, but let's be honest, with who Tim would have admitted his plan involved having 3 kids by now??? Just saying.

Anyway, putting chenford aside, I LOVED Lucy and Angela kind of working together. Their relationship is so underrated that I was ok even if I would have preferred another chenford moment. I need more Lucy+Angela on screen.

And Lucy's badass fight was so awesome, Tamara cheering and rooting for her was kind of sweet. She thinks so high of Lucy, the way she look up to her.

And the three of them in the morning.. I definitely enjoyed worriedmom!Lucy, I mean it was fun and sweet at the same time. And Angela's believe in ghosts/superstition was AWESOME. I really loved all of their interaction during this ep.

What can I say about Brolan, well it was good. And I kinda liked that Tim tested Nolan making a question that was more like a Tim test because in my opinion was his way to make sure he could count 100% on Nolan. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he doesn't really trust him, just that he doesn't trust Nolan in the same way he trust Lucy.

Nyla sleepover was so fun, so fucking fun. The way they woke up... I liked that they tried to leave their daughter out of their mess, but I don't really know what to say about Donovan talking about engagement ring for his girlfriend, with his ex, in his bedroom, after a night of passion, I mean, it's a little messed up Donovan, isn't it??

ANYWAY, I generally loved this episode and I know everyone are entitled to their opinions, but I'm pretty satisfied with how it went everything.

[tim-lucy]

I just have to say, while the chenford content was *chef’s kiss* this episode, I loved everything else about it, especially dealing with jackson’s new TO - the fact that both Lucy and Tim basically told him to ignore it and just get to the end of training had me floored, to have two main characters have such a flawed point of view is so powerful in a cop show. I was so scared of the racist cop story line but now i’m actually looking forward to this plot. Also calling out nolan on his white saviour complex gave me life, lol

THIS!!! I feel the exact same!! I was honestly expecting them all to realize Jackson’s new TO was racist and to immediately shut it down which isn’t representative of what actually happens in the police force at allllll. I was expecting a lot more copaganda but they’re literally showing how cops don’t pay attention to the racism and just say to ignore it when it’s literally the root of the problem. 

Even Grey in the next episode is going to be defending the TO. I really didn’t think they’d handle it correctly or accurately portray the system in order to keep their characters completely clean, but the fact that they’re showing that yes even “good” cops play into the problem........honestly good for the rookie. 

[chenfordfeels]

The Rookie 1x10

Captain Anderson is the best,her background is quite interesting, she might be the captain but she isn't all high and might, she is fair and her complimenting Lucy at the end was really sweet and a bit necessary after a rough day (and when our poor baby hardly gets any compliments from her T. O.).

The bonding moments between Nolan and Grey were gold. They might have gotten of on a rocky start but by the end I think they both learned things about and from each other. Nolan is earning more of Grey's respect with its passing day. Also their children are really cute together!

The stare down between Tim and Talia was everything, although my heart went out to poor Lucy who had to carry all that stuff (thank God captain Anderson came to her rescue). The whole plot of them working together was both hilarious and heartwarming.

And now for the real stars of the episode Angela Lopez and Wesley Evers. It was love on first sight or should I say on first squabble.

Sad to see so little chenford action but definitely rooting for lopevers (if I got the ship name wrong please correct me).

[silverskull]

Evergreen

Chenford Week 2023

Day 2: TV Tropes Day

I spun the wheel, and this bitch is what I got, okay?

CW: Major Character Death

Full fic below the cut and also here, on AO3.

.

A caveat: I do not want or wish this to happen. I do not think this is reflective of our canon Tim (or at least, I hope not). However, I do want you to cry.

For backing music, I recommend ‘Kevin & Casey’ by West Dylan Thordsen from the ‘Glass’ soundtrack. Put it on…now.

.

Green was the colour of peace.

Peace. Wealth. Health. 

Life.

He loved her in green.

(He loved her in any colour, but especially in green.)

She’d worn a green belt around her wedding dress, and he hadn’t even noticed until Angela sidled up to him, champagne softened, and pointed it out. They’d shopped together for it, searched high and low to find exactly what she was looking for, checked every store from Rodeo Drive to the Santee Alley. It was Lyla who’d found the perfect piece of material, recycling thrifted garments into trendy fashion and disassembling an eighties bridesmaid dress into threads and ribbons.

She’d worn it in her hair the next day, weaving it through a braid that crowned her head - more exquisite than diamonds; queen of his heart.

He’d brought her fresh flowers, as often as he remembered, and she’d moved the vases from surface to surface, pointedly remarking how bright the colours were in the clean but sterile surrounds of his house. 

Of course he’d let her paint.

Anywhere she wanted, any colours she wished. Bright yellow and deep blue and forest green. Masking tape evolving into golden streaks of sunshine, splitting the colours into a rioting kaleidoscope on carefully chosen feature walls.

It quickly became ‘their house’.

Their home.

An extension for Tamara. A crate for their yoga mats. Little Buddhas and succulents and candles - candles everywhere. Tealights and pillars and votives; organic or scented or tapered or wood-wicked. He was forever chasing flickering flames, dutifully blowing out the sparks in hurried puffs before following her laughter into their bedroom.

Then, one day, there were no more flames.

A week - less - awash with unwanted candles and bouquets of flowers, and then…

Gone.

Forever.

He’d placed himself beside one tall candle (a year’s worth of wax in the normal run of things - more like a couple of months if she’d had access to it) and behind a small avalanche of wreaths, and he hadn’t moved for hours.

The mourners poured through the room like an endless river of despair. 

It was Nolan, of all people, that had kept him upright. Fending off the few sympathisers who tried to breach his floral barricade with an unassuming nod and a handshake, and guiding them past the casket and down the line of friends and family. Rounding the barrier and steadying his shoulder with a quiet hand when his breath started to shake or his body started to tilt. Passing him cups of water throughout the day without ever making eye-contact.

He didn’t remember the service.

Grey spoke for him. Genny too.

He never said a word.

What was there left to say?

The end of the world had come - the end of his world - and despite everything in his life up until that point, he still hadn’t been prepared.

The burial was burned into his mind, flashbulb moments in a misty cemetery.

A black-clad crowd, huddled together like a murder of crows.

The minister sheltered beneath a dark umbrella. 

One giant, gaping hole in the clay at his feet. Far too big. Far too long.

Her casket - bamboo woven and speckled with mushroom spores. Her choice. She would sink into the soil and it would embrace her, tenderly entwining her molecules with seeds and roots until she dissolved beyond her mortal limits and became one with the earth.

Beyond his reach.

Evergreen.

The others had taken turns staying over with him. With Tamara. She’d wept and wept in his arms, and he’d had nothing to say to console her. Bailey had taken the lead on finding something to send them to sleep, dosing them methodically and packing them off to bed. Instructions listed and left for whoever was to guard them the next night, and the next.

James played smooth hip-hop low on the living room speaker all night long.

Wesley read, a pile of thick books gathering in the corner beside Kojo’s bed.

Nyla had a games console, the whirrs and ticks of the sound effects punctuating the dark.

Genny brought the boys, all three camping out on the floor in front of the TV screen, her hands looped tenderly into the hair of one and the elbow of the other.

Angela sat in silence, staring into space. Occasionally lifting her phone and scrolling through her photos. Sniffing quietly into a tissue as the reels went on.

Nolan had eventually offered to take Kojo; given him the run of his spacious backyard.

Tamara had gathered her things and folded herself into the embrace of her friends, whittering and fluttering around her like a flock of protective doves as they packed her up and drove her back to college.

And he was alone.

He’d tried to go back to the station, managed three whole days of re-immersive Patrol before it was all too much.

She was everywhere, there.

Her coffee mug clinking in the breakroom. Her fingers clattering over keys in the bullpen. Her pen scratching on paper at the intake desk. Her keys rattling in the locks of the cells.

Her voice, her laughter, her breath, her scent all over his office and the briefing room and in every single god damn shop they offered him.

Pine had agreed to a transfer. ‘Compassionate grounds’. Offered him Hollywood, and when he’d baulked, swapped him out with a willing officer from Central Division.

It was busy there. Probably even more so than Mid-Wilshire. Train lines and homeless camps and tourist traps. Celebrities and low-lifes constantly shoulder to shoulder. He clocked up enough overtime to worry the Captain, and grimly pleaded his case when she’d suggested therapy instead. She’d given in and let him have his way.

Angela visited, routing her cases out of her grid to check in on him from time to time. He could see the calculating look in her eyes, her thoughts flashing back to his years after Isabel.

This was different, though.

He knew it, and she could see it too, and he knew it frightened her more than his past rage.

He was cold now. Removed. Closed-off and stiff and monosyllabic, at best.

Something in him sparked a new fear in his suspects, their defiance withering away at his silent stoicism. Arrests were quick and clean, for the most part, and he never engaged in verbal sparring or articulate arguments anymore.

His team respected him, but kept their distance. Greeted him in the mornings, saluted him at night. Offered perfunctory invitations to social gatherings that he would never attend.

His locker and office were grey. Bare surfaces and the rudiments of his supplies. No notes, no stickers, no photos.

No boots - only his own.

Objects were one thing - easy to cut out and discard and ignore. People were more difficult. Angela and Genny were persistent, sending Nolan and Nyla to Good Cop/Bad Cop him when he refused their approaches. Tamara sent voice notes or video calls at college-kid hours, which, predictably, lined up with his own. Wesley and James tried to badger him into guy’s nights out. Grey cornered him at work and sat him down for a stern talking-to.

But, eventually, his detachment wore them out, and they stopped calling. Stopped messaging. Stopped dropping by.

Bailey stopped sending clips and pictures of Kojo.

Tamara stopped spending weekends at the house.

Genny and, finally, Angela gave up and stopped appearing on his beat or in his office or at his door.

And he was alone.

Completely alone.

Lost, without her.

Their house grew dim, dust gathering in the corners and on the statues. The plants died out, withered bouquets first, then his fern, and at last, her tiny little succulents. The air grew stale, the rooms unlived in and unloved. No candles lit to drive away the small ghosts that clung to the furniture and the dark recesses of the hallway.

It was a tomb, a mausoleum to her memory, haunted each day by his living shadow.

But there was nothing alive here now.

Only on her grave, where he knelt in the soft earth and dug his fingers into the clay below him, was there any life.

Jasmine and lavender.

Warmed in the sunlight and sparkling with moonstone-bright droplets from the sprinklers.

This was the only place he could breath, could feel his heart trip into tangible rhythm.

And he breathed deep.

Jasmine and lavender.

Lush and vital and thriving over her final resting place. Petals smiling up at him with gleaming white teeth.

They know.

Tim is the one who died that day, his soul ripped out and buried there in the ground with her.

But Lucy…

Lucy is evergreen.

[my-shields-are-down]

Storylines you want The Rookie and Chenford to tackle in S5

I really really want Rosalind to escape. I think that would be such a juicy (no pun intended) story line for BOTH the Rookie and the FED Rookie series. Lots of cross over room for stories, characters, etc.

I also want more background on Lucy and Angela. Things keep happening TO Lucy, but we don't know a ton about how she grew up. And with Angela we keep hearing about her family but we haven't met any of them.

I'd love for one of Angela's brothers to want to date Lucy. That would drive Tim wild. hahahaha.... Would Angela root for her brother in that situation or her best friend?

I like the multiple episode story arcs - loved the whole Armstrong arc. Rosalind, obviously, but even Stanton and racism and violence. Not all police organizations are as awesome as this one.

We also need more women in positions of power. I think the dynamic between Grey and Anderson so was so interesting and so well done. Right now , to me, the females feel like accessories to the men. I want them to stand on their own as rich, complex, characters. They've done it with Nyla, but let's do it with Lucy and Angela too. and get a female DA in there.