#grew up right next to train tracks & something about the sound is just. so familiar/comforting

[parkeryangs]

train noises save me. save me train noises

[heyiwrotesomethings]

It’s Been Too Long

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: Alright Shinobu Community, take a fuckin’ sip babes. It’s kind of a long one. My brain was like, friends to enemies to friends to lovers? To which I replied, this is going to be simultaneously too long and too short. I love me some slow burn but also I can’t justify putting that much time into something like this lol. While writing this I learned that one becomes a Hashira by killing a demon moon OR killing at least fifty demons. I didn't know that before, but I was in too deep to fix things. Y’all are a Kinoe rank that probably should be a Hashira given how much slaying you’ve done, sorry! As far as warnings go, I think we’re good. Unless fighting and misunderstandings aren’t your thing. It’ll all be better in the end though!  Word Count: 15,088 

The estate was dark and bleak. It had rained for nearly a week straight, the patter of water against the solid structure of the tiled roof was a near constant companion to the blank static of despair that clouded everyone’s minds.

Kochou Kanae had died of lethal injuries bequeathed to her by a high ranking demon who had left her to bleed out as the sun made its appearance. Perhaps if it had risen even just a few minutes prior, she could have evaded such a cruel fate.

Shinobu had found her of course, the world is just that cruel, or perhaps kind in giving her sister that closure, to be able to see her one last time before she took her last gurgling breath.

It was appropriate, the rain. After the funeral it was a temporary reminder of the warmth that had been reaped from the estate, never to be felt again in this lifetime. Not that (Y/n), Kanao, Aoi, or the youngest residents of the estate needed a reminder. Shinobu certainly didn’t either.

“Shinobu, you didn’t come to dinner. Please try to eat something.” (Y/n) coaxed, sliding the door open. The only light came from a small lantern inside the swirling gloom of the room, highlighting Shinobu hunched over her desk with her head in her hands. “Shinobu?”

“It’s only been a week.” (Y/n) strained to hear the taut whisper of the girl who had grown to be her closest friend. The girl who had given her a second chance at life when she had nowhere else to go. It hurt to hear her sound so broken. “It feels like time is standing still and going too fast at the same time.”

(Y/n) set the light meal in front of Shinobu and leaned against the desk, the wood creaked slightly as she did so. “I know what you mean. I feel the same.”

It wasn’t the first time they’ve talked like this. To be survivors of such unthinkable atrocities, one could go crazy keeping it all locked inside. The guilt, fear, helplessness... sometimes the memories played on loop night after night, waking up to the screams in their minds making sick harmonies with their own.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Shinobu spoke tentatively after a moment of drizzling static tapping against the roof. She raised herself just enough to wrestle a paper out from under her arms and slid it to (Y/n). “Oyakata-sama has sent me a summons to meet with him and the Hashira. He intends for me to take,” Shinobu’s voice grew tighter and she could not bring herself to finish, instead a painful sounding intake of air was all that was audible.

(Y/n) took the paper, holding it close to her face as she squinted, the dull light of the lantern made the letter a bit difficult to read, but the message was clear.

“He wants you to take her place.” (Y/n) frowned, a pained gleam pricked at the corners of her eyes.

“It’s been too long, but yet, not long enough,” Shinobu’s fists tightened, “I know the world hasn’t stopped spinning, demons haven’t stopped killing, but why do they want to replace her so quickly? Why are they willing to toss her aside? I don’t...”

“Shinobu,”

Shinobu finally looked up at (Y/n), angry and mournful tears tracked down her face, “I’m not my sister, I’m not Hashira material. I can’t fill the hole she left, (Y/n)!”

(Y/n) abandoned her perch on the desk to crouch beside Shinobu, enveloping her in her arms. Shinobu tightly grasped her back, watery gasps and sharp inhales fell from her lips as she tried to gain control of her breathing once more.

“Oyakata-sama knows you aren’t Kanae. You’re strong in your own right, Shinobu. He wouldn’t breach the subject if he didn’t think you could succeed by your own merits.”

“I have to keep the estate in order, the infirmary, the girls... I can’t take all this responsibility—“

“You don’t have to,” (Y/n) cut her off, the words came a bit sharper than she meant them too, “you’re not alone Shinobu. We can all have our own parts to play. You don’t have to shoulder this all by yourself.”

“Thank you.” Shinobu’s voice cracked.

They had stayed up well into the night. They hardly talked, the two young girls sat huddled together, holding each other tightly. No matter how much they’ve been hurt, time continues moving forward. Just because a boat has been shredded against a reef, that doesn’t mean the waves will grant reprieve from their assault. No, one is expected to keep swimming or to swallow the salty brine and drown. The Butterfly Estate’s allotted time for grief had passed. Now they were being given the not so subtle command that it was time to get back to work.

***

“I wish you could come with me.” Shinobu said the next morning as she sat on the engawa to put on her shoes. “Even if they made you wait outside I would feel a bit better.”

“You’ll be okay, we’ll be thinking about you all day and waiting for you to come back home.” (Y/n) assured, resting her hand on Shinobu’s back. She was almost afraid to touch the haori Shinobu now adorned, as if her hand would pass right through the material.

(Y/n) was surprised when she saw Shinobu wearing it instead of her usual short white haori, though she supposed there was comfort in holding this piece of her sister close. Perhaps the butterfly patterned haori could comfort Shinobu where (Y/n) and the others could not.

(Y/n) must have been staring too long because Shinobu leaned away from her hand, catching it with her own before (Y/n) could withdraw it completely. Shinobu squeezed the hand a moment, (Y/n) swore her heart froze upon seeing the ghostly smile painted over Shinobu’s lips.

“You’re right. No point in fretting over it, is there?”

“...Right,” (Y/n) blinked, “yeah. You’re going to do great.” (Y/n) managed a smile in return but she could feel the corner of her lips tremble at the effort. She wasn’t sure why, but this smile Shinobu was sporting sent chills down her spine.

“I’ll be off then,” Shinobu stood, releasing (Y/n)’s hand as she stepped away from the engawa, “Do make sure to keep everything in order while I’m away.”

“Of course!” (Y/n) winced at her own volume and Shinobu exhaled a quiet chuckle before turning away to make her way down the path. (Y/n) watched until the haunting haori could no longer be seen between the wisteria trees.

***

It was rather late when Shinobu returned. (Y/n) had just helped the youngest girls of the estate get ready for bed and was heading to the kitchens to prepare some tea to help her sleep. She had jumped in her skin when she saw the back of the butterfly patterned haori in the dim lantern light. Shinobu turned at the sound and sent a small, tired smile (Y/n)’s way.

“I thought I’d catch you here before you turned in for the night.” Shinobu spoke. “You almost always take a cup of tea to bed. I hope you don’t mind having some of what I’ve already prepared.”

It wasn’t the first time Shinobu caught her going to the kitchen to make tea. Though usually it was much later in the dead of night when nightmares and grief kept sleep at bay. (Y/n) wasn’t sure what kind of leaves or brewing Shinobu did, but her tea always managed to knock (Y/n) out cold into deep, dreamless bliss. Something about the way Shinobu was speaking was rubbing (Y/n) the wrong way however. There was none of the familiar attitude. The bashful bitterness that came with the sweetness of the tea. (Y/n) decided to shake it off and returned Shinobu’s tired smile. It would take time for things to seem normal again.

“You know me too well. Thank you.” (Y/n) graciously took the cup, relishing in the cup’s warmth and the relaxing scent that wafted off of the steam. “How did today go?”

“It was... fine.” Shinobu’s smile faltered and she quickly disguised it by sipping her own tea. “I’m officially a Hashira. Insect Pillar Kochou Shinobu.”

“It has a nice ring to it.” (Y/n) put in after a moment’s consideration hidden behind the guise of her clearing her throat. She didn’t know if a ‘congratulations’ would be what Shinobu would want to hear give the circumstances that led up to her new title.

“And how was holding down the fort?” Shinobu asked. It seemed she wanted to shift the topic of conversation away from herself. Not that (Y/n) could blame her.

“Everything went smoothly. Well, Aoi did get a bit aggravated with Kanao about one of her coin decisions but we worked it out. Sumi, Kiyo and Naho are picking up the recovery training lessons quickly and are doing very well. The Kakushi have been taking great care of the infirmary. All patients were still stable last I checked in.” (Y/n) reported.

“Thank you for keeping up with all of that.”

“I have to pull my weight around here somehow.” (Y/n) replied, hiding a yawn behind one hand.

“It’s getting late. You should get to bed before the tea kicks in any further.” Shinobu said, putting her own cup down.

“Aren’t you getting tired too?”

“I made myself a different brew, actually. I’ve got more work to do.” Shinobu allowed herself a little sly smile at the tiny frown (Y/n) wore as she looked into her own empty cup as if it had betrayed her somehow.

“Well, don’t forget you need to sleep too. Don’t overwork yourself.”

“Goodnight, (Y/n).” Shinobu called over her shoulder. She was already walking out of the kitchen.

“I mean it Shinobu. Promise me you’ll sleep tonight.” (Y/n) gently demanded, slipping into the hall to fall in step beside Shinobu.

“I’ll promise to try. Is that acceptable?” Shinobu asked, a bit of familiar snark came through and it made (Y/n) relax a bit and nod.

“Alright. Goodnight, Shinobu.”

At the end of the hall they broke off in different directions. Shinobu to the lab and (Y/n) to her room.

***

(Y/n) went through most of her morning routine before going out of her way to find the newly appointed Hashira. She hadn’t seen her since they parted last night. (Y/n) groaned inwardly, already assuming she’d find the young scientist still balancing equations and mixing beakers.

(Y/n) adjusted her butterfly hairpin before knocking her knuckles against the door, waiting for a reply.

“Shinobu?” (Y/n) had called out after another knock led to no reply. (Y/n) frowned and slid the door open of her own volition, closing it behind her once she was inside. It didn’t take long for her to find the exhausted girl hunched over an array of papers, dead asleep.

“When I told you to go to sleep last night, I had your own bed in mind, not a desk.” (Y/n) sighed quietly.

(Y/n) startled at another knock at the door.

“Who is it?” She asked, keeping her voice soft as to not disturb Shinobu.

“It’s Hayato, miss.” The muffled voice called. Ah, one of the Kakushi. “Kochou-sama has guests to attend to.”

“Set them up in the garden with tea, please. Kochou-sama will meet them just as soon as she finishes these papers.” (Y/n) said. It would not do to have news of the young master of the estate sleeping so late in the morning, and at her desk no less.

The Kakushi dismissed himself to carry out his orders and (Y/n)’ shoulders relaxed as his footprints faded down the hall. (Y/n) didn’t want to wake Shinobu, but if her presence was required, then the meeting must be important.

“Hey, Shinobu,” (Y/n) called softly, gently shaking Shinobu’s shoulders, “you have guests that need to see you.”

Shinobu managed to curl further into herself, mumbling a few curses under her breath that (Y/n) couldn’t help but giggle at.

“Maybe you’d feel better if you had actually gone to bed instead of passing out like this.”

“Who is it, what do they need?” Shinobu grumped, sitting up to stretch her abused spine.

“I’m not sure. A Kakushi came by to tell you about them. I asked him to set them up in the garden with tea.”

“Thank you for taking care of that,” Shinobu rubbed her eyes and stood, her chair scratching against the floor, “I should get going then.”

“Let me fix your hair quick at least.” (Y/n) said, already freeing Shinobu of her own butterfly clip. “Hold still.”

“It’s a little hard when you keep tugging your fingers through my hair.” Shinobu winced.

“Sorry, just a second.” (Y/n) spoke around the butterfly wing that she held between her lips as her fingers worked to gather Shinobu’s hair. Once Shinobu’s hair was neatly clipped back into place, (Y/n) circled her and smoothed out the wrinkles in Shinobu’s clothes the best she could before finally backing away with a satisfied nod.

“Are you done yet?” Shinobu asked, a faint dusting of blush powdered her cheeks.

“Yeah, you still look tired, but at least you look a little more presentable.” (Y/n) said, opening the lab door and ushering Shinobu through it.

“Presentable.” Shinobu scoffed. “Come with me to the garden?”

“I don’t know if that would be appropriate. I’m not sure who is visiting.”

“Just make yourself busy in the blooms. You live here, you can go where you please.”

“Okay, I’ll come.”

The young girls made their way outside, it was warm and sunny, a bit humid as well after all the rain the week before. The sweet smell of the flowers invited deeper breaths to swallow up the scent into every bronchiole of their lungs.

(Y/n) broke off from Shinobu with a little wave, giving a respectful acknowledgment to the people waiting with their tea before busying herself with the flora. Checking on the quality of the plants as Kanae had taught her. The memories spent with the older girl who had taught her so much made (Y/n) shiver despite the warmth of the sun beating down.

(Y/n) would on occasion, discreetly observe the progression of the meeting. The smile Shinobu wore as she spoke to the visitors unnerved her. Even just the way Shinobu was holding herself now, prim and proper, (Y/n) wondered what they could possibly be talking about.

Then the familiar cawing of a crow circling over her head broke (Y/n) from her thoughts. She released her gentle grip over the flower she had stopped to smell and craned her neck to see her crow calling out to her. A mission, her heartbeat picked up in pace. She hadn’t been on one since a few days before Kanae’s death. How out of practice could she be?

“Pardon the noise,” (Y/n) bowed. The meeting had paused in their hushed conversation to observe the bird as well. (Y/n) hardly gave Shinobu a glance as she past. Her fingers trembling slightly as she made her way back inside to retrieve her nichirin blade from her room. (Y/n)’s mind buzzed and her crow’s caws sounded muted and muffled, far away. She kept walking, willing her breaths to remain controlled. Her concentration broke as a hand reached out from behind her and tugged her back.

(Y/n) turned to meet Shinobu’s eyes. Though more subdued, the concern she saw there was genuine.

“(Y/n), I kept telling you to stop. Are you listening to me?”

“I’m sorry, I guess I was just focusing on the mission ahead.”

Shinobu breathed deeply releasing the air in a shaky exhale before gripping (Y/n)’s face in one hand, surprising her.

“No you weren’t.” Shinobu’s grip was firm, “You need to concentrate on your surroundings. I was almost yelling at you just now. I need to know you are going to be able to keep your head about you out there.”

(Y/n) tried to nod her head but Shinobu’s hand kept her head in place.

“I need to hear you say it.” Shinobu said.

“I can keep my head. I will.” (Y/n) swallowed uncomfortably.

Shinobu searched (Y/n)’s face, slowly releasing her grip from (Y/n)‘s jaw and instead grabbed at the neck of (Y/n)’s uniform pulling her so close their noses bumped.

“You better,” She spoke softly.

“I will,” (Y/n) repeated.

Shinobu untensed, her fingers released (Y/n)’s uniform and she wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug that (Y/n) quickly reciprocated.

“Your meeting,” (Y/n) recalled after a moment.

“I asked to be excused. I’m the master of the estate, I can get away with escaping for for a few minutes.”

“I wouldn’t make a habit out of it if I were you.” (Y/n) attempted to joke.

“Only when it matters.” Shinobu nodded seriously, causing (Y/n)’s heart to leap.

(Y/n)’s crow cawed impatiently and the girls parted. (Y/n) left to retrieve her blade and Shinobu watched her back as she left, her hands clenched into tight fists beneath the sleeves of her sister’s haori.

***

Night after night, the missions kept coming. (Y/n) had begun to wonder if she’d ever get to go home again as days became weeks. Scattered letters between waves of demon slaying were the best she could manage to make sure everyone back home knew she was alright.

Another night, a new moon. A few more nights and it would be a full month since she’d last seen everyone. She was glad she took the time to say goodbye before she left. She never imagined she’d be asked to work for so long without reprieve.

Another well timed flower breathing technique beheads another demon and (Y/n) falls against the trunk of a tree breathing hard. She is uninjured but greatly fatigued. The thought to sit and rest hardly enters her mind before her crow commands her eastward to eliminate another threat before dawn.

Breath after breath, technique after technique, night after night (Y/n) fought until everything ached and beyond. When she saw the the sun peak out over the horizon it was almost enough to bring (Y/n) to tears, but she never faltered. She had to stay strong. This was the life she chose to pursue. To save people from the same fate that befallen so many people she had cared about.

It was during an exceptionally hot day when the sun was at its highest point that (Y/n) flinched awake at the shrill squawks she had grown to loathe.

“What?” She hissed between her teeth, her fingers knotting in the grass that had served as her bed for the day.

“Return home to the Butterfly Estate! Return home to recover and rest! Await further instruction!”

(Y/n) lifted herself to rest on her elbows to stare wide-eyed at the bird sitting in the tree branch overhead. For the first time in that very long month, she allowed the tears to finally fall.

***

(Y/n) felt nervous coming back after so long. She opted to return from the rear entrance in an attempt to not garner too much attention. She allowed herself a tentative smile as the gardens came into view. Her fingers skimmed across the colorful blooms as she walked, freezing up only when she saw Shinobu collecting herbs in the distance. Her foot snapped a twig, alerting Shinobu to glance behind her.

“Hi, stranger.” Shinobu simpered, getting to her feet. “Oh!”

(Y/n) forgot all her previous worries and jogged up to Shinobu, picking her up with the added strength that she had built up in her month long absence and twirled her around with abandon.

“(Y/n)?” Shinobu chuckled with surprise, bracing her arms around (Y/n)‘s shoulders as she was flung around.

“I missed you!” (Y/n) sniffled, finally putting the girl down but still holding her tightly.

“I missed you too.” Shinobu said, rubbing (Y/n)’s back. “What took so long getting back, hm?”

“Mission after mission after mission.” came (Y/n)’s bitter reply. “I actually cried when my crow told me I could come home... I don’t know why I told you that. That’s embarrassing.”

Shinobu laughed, pulling back from (Y/n) to get a good look at her. “My, (Y/n), I can tell your time away had made you stronger. Even if you are still a bit of a crybaby.”

“Hey!” (Y/n) pouted.

“(Y/n) is back!”

“Woah!”

(Y/n) was sent stumbling backward a few steps by three blurs of white. Naho, Sumi and Kiyo spoke a mile a minute filling in (Y/n) on all the goings on of the estate. Aoi and Kanao came by soon after and gave (Y/n) their own greetings, expressing their happiness over the slayer’s return in their own ways.

It was good to be home, it was. But after a few days, (Y/n) really got a chance to see how different Shinobu had become.

The tone of her voice carried like a soft breeze and a polite smile could always be seen on her lips. Aoi reminded (Y/n) more of the Shinobu she remembered than the current Shinobu before her. It unnerved her. The way Shinobu would tilt her head just so and giggle daintily into her hand... it was like staring at a ghost.

(Y/n) thought she could get over the change, but she simply couldn’t. Not when staring into those dark, purple eyes. Oh, how they swirled with anger and despair. If Shinobu couldn’t fully believe in the persona she had crafted for herself, then (Y/n) wouldn’t either. Late one night while helping Shinobu in the lab, (Y/n) finally decided to confront her.

“Why do you keep smiling like that?” (Y/n) frowned, worrying the page of the textbook before her between her fingers.

“Hm? I’m afraid I don’t quite know what you mean.” Shinobu replied casually, smile still firmly in place as she crushed some herbs under her pestle.

“You do too know what I mean,” (Y/n) eyebrows furrowed slightly in aggravation, “why do you keep smiling like you’re okay when you’re clearly not?”

“What have I said or done that makes you think I’m not okay? I’m perfectly fine, (Y/n),” she chuckled, “you worry for nothing.”

“That mask might have everyone else fooled... or maybe they’re just complacent, but I’m tired of pretending nothing is wrong. Talk to me, Shinobu.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Shinobu shook her head, “there is nothing to discuss. Perhaps I’ve kept you up too late.”

“You shouldn’t have to hide what you’re truly feeling,” (Y/n) persisted, “not from me at least. I thought we were friends.”

“We are.” Shinobu’s tone was nearly clipped as she crushed the herbs a bit more vigorously.

“Then stop acting so, so fake!” (Y/n) spat, wincing almost immediately as fast has the words came out. There was probably a better way she could have said that. Before she could apologize and try again, Shinobu put the pestle on the table with a harsh clink and stalked over to where (Y/n) was sitting. Fighting to keep her tone in check, she stared (Y/n) down with that plastic smile and spoke in a low, hushed tone that filled (Y/n)’s veins with ice.

“So I’m fake, is that right? People change, (Y/n). You were gone for a month, you can’t expect everyone to wait for you, to not change or grow in your absence.”

“People change, yes,” (Y/n) swallowed tightly at the proximity, “but whatever this is Shinobu, I really don’t think it’s healthy. I can tell you’re bottling something up. Kanae—”

“Leave.”

“...what?”

“Leave,” Shinobu closes the textbook in front of (Y/n) and although she does so with care, the sound is deafening in (Y/n)’s ears, “I don’t care where you go, just get out of my lab. I’ve had my fill of this mindless chatter.”

“Are you being serious right now?” (Y/n) clenched her fists and stood from her chair, the legs slid roughly against the wood below.

“Yes, I don’t have time for immature children right now I’m afraid.” Came Shinobu’s airy reply.

“Immature— stop acting like you know better than me, we’re both kids, we’re fourteen!“ (Y/n) seethes, “I’m worried about you! I care about you! Don’t you get it?”

“Your worry is unfounded. It’s late and you are being of no help to me like this so I’ll ask you once more, leave.”

(Y/n) felt heat pricking the corners of her eyes. “I feel like I don’t know who you are anymore.” She breathed. “But fine, I’ll leave if that’s what you want.”

“At this moment in time, I couldn’t ask for anything better.” Shinobu replied, turning her back to (Y/n) to continue what she had previously been working on.

Once (Y/n) shut the door with finality and her quick footsteps became softer as she ran down the hall, Shinobu exhaled harshly, gripping the pestle tightly in her hand as she mercilessly pounded the dried herbs into dust.

“Only immature people don’t control their emotions... only immature people...”

As Shinobu repeated her mantra, (Y/n) burst into her room and looked around her. With trembling hands she changed into a fresh uniform and packed a small bag of belongings and slinging it over her shoulder. She grabbed her haori and attached her nichirin blade to her hip.

She looked around the room once more and caught her reflection in the little hand mirror on her desk, catching the bright colors of a wing that secured her hair in place. She reached back, freeing her hair from the clip and stared at it. She ran her thumb over the decorative clip before setting it on the desk. She reached for a plain hair band and tied her hair back with that instead.

(Y/n) left her room, sparing one last hurt glance at the butterfly clip before exiting the estate grounds. Before long, her crow circled overhead and (Y/n) held her arm out for the bird to take perch. The crow cawed at her expectantly, questioning her.

“If she wants me to leave, then what else is there to do?” (Y/n) shuddered in the wind. She turned away from the estate, willing herself not to turn back.

“Where will you go?” The crow asked.

“...I don’t know.”

With every step leaving the warmth of the estate farther behind, (Y/n)’s heart grew heavier in her chest.

***

“Have any of you seen (Y/n) today?” Shinobu asked the girls once they had come back in after hanging the laundry out to dry.

A chorus of negatives and head shakes met her and she sighed inwardly. “Very well then. Thank you.”

Shinobu traveled through the maze of hallways that made up her home, easily finding herself in front of (Y/n)’s door, knocking politely. With no reply, Shinobu forced herself not to roll her eyes and opened the door.

“(Y/n), if this is about last night...” Shinobu blinked at the empty room. Futon made, clean floors, not a thing out of place, but no (Y/n).

“Perhaps she’s out training.” Shinobu said to herself. She was about to close the door and head off into the gardens when a glint from the desk caught her eye and she approached. A soft gasp left her lips as she picked up the hairpin. Cradling it in her hands, Shinobu forced her breaths to remain controlled. (Y/n) had never gone a day without wearing the pin since the Kochou sisters gifted it to her.

In the safety of the empty room, Shinobu allowed herself to slump over the desk. She held the discarded hairpin close to her chest, immediately understanding what this small symbol meant. Yes, she knew what it meant, she just wished to know why. She fought against the waves, against the feeling that she was drowning again.

***

Four years was a long time, and if you asked (Y/n), the demon slayer would say that was especially true with her line of work. The demons were never the same, but the routine in between was lonely and dull. Kill a demon, settle down at an inn or in the trees for the day, move to the next village and repeat. Sometimes the stays were longer, but that was the gist of it.

(Y/n) kept to herself most of the time. There wasn’t really a point in making anything more than loose acquaintances with the constant traveling and dangers her work presented. Even on the few missions she had been paired up with other slayers in the area, she focused on the job at hand before quickly making her way to her next assignment. That started to change after she met Kamado Tanjirou and his demon sister Nezuko.

They did not get off on the right foot to say the least.

(Y/n) had been sent to the same location as the young slayer for a mission and knew something was off about him right away. Something off with that box he carried around anyway. (Y/n) opted to let him be for the time being, focusing on the mission ahead. Skip forward to the heat of battle, and (Y/n) could hardly believe her eyes when a demon burst from the boy’s box to attack another demon that had snuck around Tanjirou’s back.

(Y/n) had no time to watch and focus on this new development at the moment, she had her own demons to take care of. Her flower breathing techniques weaved through her enemies and heads went flying. Before long, the mission was completed and (Y/n) turned to the boy breathing heavily in the dirt with the demon from the box hovering over him looking at (Y/n) with curious eyes.

“You’re really skilled, (Y/n)-san!” Tanjirou praised, somehow unaware of the danger his sister was in, “You don’t even look like you’re out of breath.”

“I’ve been doing this for years. I know a lot. For instance,” (Y/n) spoke, her face stern as stone as she readied her blade, startling Tanjirou, “every demon must be destroyed.” She went in with a quick slash aimed at the demon’s neck  only to pause at the last second when the foolish younger boy leapt to his feet to shield the demon from the blow.

“What are you doing?” (Y/n) asked sternly.

“Wait, she’s my sister! She’s a good demon!”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that what you are doing is against corps rules. I can sympathize with wanting to hold onto your loved ones, but there is no such thing as a good demon. Step aside.”

“No, Nezuko has never eaten a human and she never will!” Tanjirou held his ground while his sister growled at (Y/n) from behind him.

(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “Alright then,” she said with a sarcastic sweetness, “prove it.”

“What?” Tanjirou blinked.

“Prove it, take off the muzzle. Let’s see if she has as much control as you claim she does.”

“But—“

“It shouldn’t be a problem, right? If she’s as docile as you claim what’s the issue?”

Tanjirou grit his teeth and gently pulled the muzzle to rest around his sister’s neck. (Y/n) stepped forward, her face inches away from the demon. She wasn’t worried, if the demon lunged for her she was confident she could slice its head the moment the air changed.

“Well demon?” (Y/n) sighed, surprising Tanjirou by slicing the pad of her thumb on her sharp blade, “hungry?”

To Nezuko’s credit, she hardly flinched. However, her eyes followed the path of the blood and a small trickle of drool slid past her lips. (Y/n) taunted her a bit further, waving the bloodied hand in front of her nose, still Nezuko held strong and even went as far as turning away.

“...I must say, I’m rather impressed,” (Y/n) finally spoke, stepping back from the demon and licking at her own wound, “marechi blood such as my own usually makes the demons go crazy,” she turns back to Tanjirou, “still, you must know that keeping a demon alive like this, especially as a slayer, is dangerous for both of you.”

“I know,” Tanjirou bowed his head.

“Well,” (Y/n) stretched and sighed, “as long as you know I guess it’s your own problem.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, just don’t call me out if a Hashira finds you out. I don’t feel like dying a disgrace.” (Y/n) waved him off. “You’re going to have to work even harder and be more discreet. That’s my advice to you.” And (Y/n) was going to leave it at that and walk away, but then her crow chanted in tandem with Tanjirou’s, calling them to continue forward together. (Y/n)′s eye twiched at the grating sounds.

“It looks like we’ll still be working together for some time, (Y/n)-san!” Tanjirou smiled, catching the older girl off guard by the sincerity behind it. You’d think he’d be more put off considering (Y/n) was planning to kill his sister not five minutes ago.

“I suppose we are.”

“Say, (Y/n)-san, you’re strong. You can help me get stronger too, right?”

“Mm!”

“Hey, get her off of me!” (Y/n) momentarily panicked as the demon wrapped her arms around her waist.

“Nezuko, manners!”

(Y/n) wasn’t sure what she had done to get saddled with the strange siblings, but she could tell her job just went above her pay grade.

***

As it turns out, the Kamado siblings weren’t so bad. In fact, (Y/n) was starting to get really attached to the two. It was when Inosuke and Zenitsu were pulled into their little group, that was when (Y/n) realized she didn’t know what true pain was.

“(Y/n)-san, marry me!”

“Flower Girl, fight me!”

All damn day and night.

(Y/n) thought she’d finally have reprieve once Tanjirou had healed up at the Wisteria House, but of course the two boisterous boys were being sent with them to their next mission, Natagumo Mountain.

Zenitsu cowered at the forest edge and (Y/n) felt no remorse in leaving him behind as she sprinted ahead of Inosuke and Tanjirou, freeing the puppeted Mizunoto slayers.

Eventually they had been split off from each other to fight their own battles. (Y/n) was tired but otherwise unharmed, surprised when a small Nezuko came barreling into her.

“Nezu—?” (Y/n) gasped as the air shifted above her and she dodged the quick swipe aimed at the tiny body that clung to her. She quickly pivoted, blade in hand, and crossed swords with the assailant her eyes blowing wide at the placid face in front of her.

“Kanao?!” (Y/n) yelled out, the nostalgia and adrenaline coursing through her body was an odd, slightly terrifying combination.

Kanao tilted her head, her lips parted ever so slightly as recognition gleamed in her eyes. Despite this, Kanao did have a mission to complete and (Y/n) was keeping her from completing her orders. She continued swiping at the older girl she used to know, trying to behead the demon she could not fathom why she was protecting.

(Y/n) parried and blocked best she could, taking a defensive approach while she tried to talk Kanao down. She didn’t want to hurt Kanao, but she didn’t want Nezuko to be killed either.

Finally a saving grace, a crow swooping by with a message that saved Nezuko’s neck. (Y/n) sighed in relief as Kanao pulled back. Still looking at (Y/n) she pointed to the small demon that had wrapped herself tightly over (Y/n)’s back.

“Is this Nezuko?” She asked looking for a positive ID on the demon in question.

“Yes.” (Y/n) easily replied.

“Come with me then.” Kanao said, already corralling (Y/n) and her demon backpack in the direction of the forest edge.

(Y/n) walked alongside her a bit begrudgingly. If she made a break for it, she could have probably gotten away, but it was very likely Tanjirou and the others were already in custody. The best chance they had now was to do as they were told and hope Nezuko’s resolve would stand firm.

So (Y/n) hid Nezuko in her haori as the sun began to peak over the hills and followed Kanao to the clearing of bustling Kakushi. On the way, she began preparing her story for the trial she was sure her little team was bound to endure.

She was immediately broken from her thoughts at the ethereal sight of the Insect Pillar emerging from another point of the woods with the Water Pillar and a badly beaten Tanjirou on his back.

(Y/n)’s breath caught in her throat as those deep, dark eyes found hers at it was like time was at a stand still. At least it would have been if not for Shinobu steadily making her way towards her, her expression painfully impassive beyond the small upturn of her lips. Shinobu kept coming until she was directly in front of (Y/n).

Nezuko stirred in her sleep, clutching at (Y/n)’s back as if she could sense anxiety in the slayer’s heart. The demon was the only thing grounding her at this point as Shinobu tilted her head, an almost sinister look in her eye as she observed the small demon bundle protected by (Y/n)’s haori. All too soon, her cold eyes found their way back to (Y/n)’s and she spoke.

“I’m not going to have to tie you up, am I?”

(Y/n) closed her eyes briefly and tried to take a calming breath. With a short, almost imperceivable shake of her head, she hoarsely replied.

“No.”

“Let’s try to keep it that way then.”

Shinobu and Kanao had let (Y/n) help Nezuko into her box, but then they immediately separated the two, having a Kakushi carry the box with a wary look in her eyes. (Y/n) did her best not to look behind her where Kanao and Shinobu walked, no doubt watching her for any sign of flight.

She gulped, eyes nervously shifting to the Water Pillar walking beside her, and the Kakushi who was now carrying Tanjirou in his stead. The Water Pillar spared her an emotionless glance as he forged ahead.

“Is he going to be alright?” She asked in a hushed tone.

Enough time had passed after her question that (Y/n) had figured the man wasn’t in the mood to talk, understandably so, but (Y/n) was worried about the state Tanjirou was in. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he actually answered her minutes later.

“That will all depend on how the trial goes.”

(Y/n) felt dread pool in her stomach as they continued to march down the mountain.

***

The garden of the Master’s estate would have been lovely on any other occasion, but (Y/n) could only bring herself to stare at the pebbles below her knees and Tanjirou passed out at her side. They had taken Nezuko somewhere else in the meantime, she could only hope they would let the demon be, let her prove herself in front of them instead of killing her on principle.

(Y/n) could feel that Shinobu was standing just behind her but she dared not engage. Four years of silence between the two and a trial for treason in the highest regard had brought them together again. (Y/n) wanted to scream.

Finally Tanjirou began to stir and (Y/n) allowed herself to push away her turmoil to rouse the younger boy gently. The last thing they needed was for him to be all up in arms before the trial even officially began.

“(Y/n)-san,” Tanjirou winced, “where are we? Where is Nezuko?”

“We’re at the Demon Slayer Headquarters,” (Y/n) replied, her voice was hardly above a whisper as she felt the pressure of all the Hashira’s eyes boring into them, “I don’t know where they’re keeping Nezuko, but right now you need to focus on the trial ahead.”

“The trial?”

“For harboring a demon, Tanjirou.”

“I wouldn’t bother trying to justify it! A crime as heinous as yours only ends one way!” Rengoku Kyojirou loudly proclaimed, rallying a range of replies from his fellow pillars.

“Now that he’s finally awake to witness his punishment, let’s behead these traitors and the demon and get on with our lives.” Uzui Tengen added.

“Please,” (Y/n) forced her voice not to waiver, “allow him to explain the situation at least—“

“You’re in no position to be asking for favors, girl.” Obanai Iguro cut her off, glaring down at her from where he lounged on a tree branch. “You had best hold your tongue. A slayer at your rank should be ashamed. I’m surprised you haven’t already sliced yourself open for the embarrassment you’ve brought to the corps.”

“Iguro-san!” Kanroji gasped at the harsh words.

“Who are these people, (Y/n)-san?” Tanjirou groaned, noticing for the first time that his hands were tied tightly behind his back.

“Tanjirou, are you serious?” (Y/n)’s tone was hushed and urgent, “they’re the Hashira! You know, best of the demon slayers?”

“I don’t know, umph!” (Y/n) hastily covered his mouth, a nervous sweat gathered at her brow.

“Just try to be respectful, will you? You already broke the thin ice you’ve been traveling on, let’s try not to drown as well!”

“This isn’t right, (Y/n)-san! Where is Nezuko? Zenitsu? Inosuke? Murata?” Tanjirou spoke out, his voice heavy with emotion as he fought his way up to his knees.

“What I want to know is why we haven’t tied Tomioka or the Kinoe ranked slayer.” Obanai sneered from his tree, ignoring Tanjirou’s desperate tone. “They are both part of the boy’s schemes and should be punished as such. How are we going to teach them a lesson?”

“Oh they’ll be fine,” (Y/n) shivered hearing Shinobu speak above her from where she knelt in the pebbles, “we’ll come up with a penalty later.”

(Y/n) froze, her eyes refused to look up beyond the feet that stood before Tanjirou and herself.

“What I’m interested right now, is hearing this boy’s story.” Shinobu said. “He’s been traveling with a demon all this time, and I wish to hear why. It must be quite the tale to have Tomioka-san break ranks,” the feet take a step closer and Shinobu’s voice dropped in volume, “and you as well, (Y/n).”

(Y/n) tightened her grip over her pant leg, still refusing to look up. She could imagine an array of expressions her old friend could be wearing right now that could cut her deeper than any blade. Pity, anger, disgust, smugness, apathy, that blank smile... no, (Y/n) couldn’t bear to look up.

“So why, Kamado Tanjirou?” Shinobu asked.

“Who cares?” Uzui scoffed from a few yards away, yet he waited for the boy to explain himself.

“She’s my—“ he broke into a fit of coughs and (Y/n) tried to soothe his back, telling him to breathe.

Shinobu stooped down, a gourd of water in hand, offering the water to Tanjirou and finally catching (Y/n)’s eyes as the boy drank the medicated water. When Shinobu’s eyes returned to Tanjirou, (Y/n) remembered how to breathe.

“She’s my little sister!” Tanjirou proclaimed. “She’s never hurt anyone and she never will!”

A few of the Hashira began casting their doubt, but Tanjirou powered through.

“I became a slayer to find a cure for her! In two whole years since she became a demon, she’s never eaten a single person! Let her continue to fight by my side!”

“Well, well, looks like the fun’s already starting.”

(Y/n) turned her head and her breathing hitched. Of course the Wind Pillar of all people would get his hands on Nezuko’s box.

“Is this the boy who has been traveling with a demon? Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Shinazugawa asked with a sinister grin.

“Please put down the box Shinazugawa-sama!” The Kakushi (Y/n) recalled to have prior possession of the box pleaded.

“Shinazugawa, please do not act out of line.” Shinobu warned.

“Nah, run that by me again, kid?” Sanemi jeered, holding the box precariously in one hand, “fighting alongside a demon? Impossible, you idiot!”

Tanjirou and (Y/n) called out in horror as the Hashira rammed his blade clean through the box, skewering Nezuko.

Tanjirou scrambled to his feet and lunged at Sanemi, (Y/n) was about to get to her feet as well, but Shinobu held her firmly in place, clutching (Y/n)’s arm tightly while shooting her a warning glance.

(Y/n) could only watch, mouth agape, as Tanjirou head butted Shinazugawa to the ground.

Mitsuri attempted to stifle a snort, covering her face in her hands.

“If you can’t tell the difference between good demons and bad ones, then you don’t deserve to be a Hashira!” Tanjirou yelled.

“We’re doomed.” (Y/n) whispered weakly. She felt as if all her blood was sinking to her knees, sinking as fast as their chance of forgiveness down the drain.

Before Sanemi could retaliate, a couple of Oyakata-sama’s children announced the Master’s arrival. (Y/n) was quick to follow Shinobu in a bow, wincing when she heard what could only be Sanemi pounding Tanjirou into the rocks, forcing him to bow.

“Hello everyone,” Oyakata-sama addressed the garden, his voice carried in the warm breeze, “how good it feels to have you all here.”

Sanemi greeted the Master, formally asking for an explanation. If not for the seriousness of the moment, (Y/n) would have rolled her eyes.

“The Kamado siblings have been sanctioned, you see. I request you all respect that.” Oyakata stated simply.

An array of mostly negative objections arose at this ending with Sanemi calling for punishments for Tanjirou, (Y/n), and Giyuu.

The Master stood silently for a moment before asking one of his children to read a letter aloud. A letter from a previous Hashira, detailing Nezuko’s history. The letter also revealing that should Nezuko fail; Urokodaki, Tanjirou, and Giyuu would atone through seppuku.

A few of the Hashira were still willing to speak against such a plan, swearing that it was not a risk worth taking. Once there was a lull in their heated remarks,  Ubuyashiki saw fit to address (Y/n).

“(Y/n), my child.”

(Y/n)’s head jutted up at the sudden call of attention to her presence. “Ye— yes, Master?”

“Why do you think that of the squad that has been built around you, only you are here?” Oyakata-sama asked with an warm smile.

“I would suppose it would be because I should know better than a ragtag group of Mizunoto, Master.” came (Y/n)’s subdued reply.

“I would hope so.” The Master chuckled, causing heat to bloom across (Y/n)’s cheeks. “Why didn’t you kill the demon?”

“I was going to, but she proved herself to me,” (Y/n) began speaking more evenly as she recalled the moment, “I presented her with my blood, my rare blood, and she turned away. I have traveled with the Kamado siblings for weeks and not once had Nezuko hurt anyone. She protects people, she sleeps to replenish energy. Based on everything I have observed, I believe in Nezuko. I believe in Tanjirou.”

“Would you stake your life on this along with the others listed here today?” Oyakata-sama asked.

(Y/n) breathed in, firmly nodding her head. Her eyes meeting Ubuyashiki’s milky blank one’s despite his lack of vision.

“Yes, I would.”

Shinobu’s hold on (Y/n)’s bicep curled. (Y/n) hadn’t realized she had still been holding her down.

“And here we have three, now four, people willing to take responsibility for this demon. What say you, my children?” The Master asked the Hashira warmly.

“Forgive me Master, but this is not a matter of numbers!” Sanemi yelled, “Demons are sick creatures that need to be put down and I’ll prove it to you now!”

Sanemi sliced his arm, much more blood than (Y/n) had conjured with the small cut to her thumb that she had presented to Nezuko. She and Tanjirou watched as the blood dripped to the box, staining the lacquered wood.

“No good doing this in the light.” Obanai said, “it won’t come out unless it’s dark.”

Sanemi dashed to the shaded engawa, enticing Nezuko to come out with another stab at the box.

“No!” Tanjirou yelled, he made to scramble to the engawa, but was quickly subdued by Obanai.

“Stop!” (Y/n) echoed Tanjirou’s sentiments, pulling against Shinobu’s hold. “Why are you being so needlessly cruel?”

Sanemi ignored them, a wicked grin on his face as he watched Nezuko emerge from the box, growling lowly.

“Well then, demon?” He sneered, holding out his arm.

(Y/n) could tell Nezuko was straining against the pull of the marechi blood. With all of the injuries she had sustained working against her as well, it couldn’t be easy for the demon to hold back.

“Nezuko!” Tanjirou wheezed as Obanai was pincering his lung painfully with his elbow.

“Kamado-kun,” Shinobu addressed, “don’t struggle too much while in that hold, your lung might burst.”

Tanjirou only struggled harder, surprising everyone when he broke through his rope restraints and stumbled towards the engawa. Tomioka stopped Obanai from pinning him again.

“Nezuko!” Tanjirou called again.

His voice seemed to finally break through to Nezuko and after a few tense moments, she turned away from Sanemi in disgust.

(Y/n) couldn’t help the relieved smile that overtook her lips.

Once the scene was relayed to the Master, he seemed pleased with the report. He told Tanjirou that although Nezuko had done well to prove herself, they would need to grow even stronger before they could be fully accepted by the others. With that wisdom, he said they were free to go.

(Y/n) startled as Shinobu finally let her go, raising her arm to speak. “If all is well then Oyakata-sama, allow me to provide lodging for them.”

Both (Y/n) and Tanjirou seemed a bit wary of this sudden hospitality, (Y/n) even more so, but if Shinobu noticed or cared she didn’t show it, signaling the Kakushi who had been standing by to gather the injured boy and the demon.

The Kakushi tasked with carrying Nezuko seemed a bit frightened of the little demon kneeling in her box, so naturally (Y/n) rose to carry her instead.

“I’ve got her.” She smiled kindly and reached for the box and secured it shut, but not before giving the demon girl a few well earned head pats that rose Nezuko’s mood greatly.

Another Kakushi picked up Tanjirou then (Y/n) and the two Kakushi quickly made their retreat. That is, until Tanjirou bursted back into the garden asking to headbutt Sanemi.

“Please excuse us!” (Y/n) and the two Kakushi bowed deeply once they got him back under control and sped off twice as fast. (Y/n) and the Kakushi running beside her berated Tanjirou from where he sat on the other Kakushi’s back for such a disrespectful display after being allowed the impossible. 

When they reached the Butterfly Estate, (Y/n)’s heart squeezed in her chest. The grounds looked to be near the same as the night she had left. No one was there to greet them at the door, so they went around the gardens and found Kanao standing amongst the butterflies.

“Hi, Kanao.” (Y/n) greeted the younger girl bashfully. Now that they weren’t battling over keeping Nezuko’s head, (Y/n) finally took in how much she had grown in four years.

Kanao stayed silent, a serene smile on her lips as she merely observed the group that had approached her.

“What are you all here for?” A sharp voice called from behind them, causing the Kakushi to jump and spin to quickly explain they were here to put Tanjirou in the infirmary.

“Well then come with me...” Aoi’s words trailed off a bit once her eyes found (Y/n)’s face.

“Hi Aoi,” (Y/n) gave a nervous half wave, “you’ve gotten a bit taller.”

Aoi marched straight up to (Y/n) and berated her with a barrage of small fists pounding painlessly against her chest. “What would you expect after being gone so long!” She sniffed, “Four years without a single letter or visit? We thought you were dead, idiot!”

“(Y/n)-san? Do you know these people?” Tanjirou asked from Gotou’s back.

“Yeah, I uh, sorta used to live here.” (Y/n) replied, allowing Aoi to continue hitting her to her heart’s content.

“‘Sorta used to live here’, you’re family! You have always had a place here! Now come on, I’m sure Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho will have a bone to pick with you as well. And Shinobu-sama!” Aoi’s fist struck especially hard at the thought, “Shinobu-sama is going to have some choice words for you when she gets back I just know it!”

Aoi led them all inside, occasionally throwing a few more jabs into (Y/n)’s side to make sure she was really there. She didn’t admit that was what they were for of course, she played it off more as a punishment for disappearing for so long.

There was screaming coming from the infirmary and (Y/n) would have been worried if she hadn’t recognized the sound almost immediately.

“Zenitsu!” Tanjirou called excitedly.

While Tanjirou and poor Gotou were dealing with the sobbing, snotty boy, Aoi had dragged (Y/n) over to Kiyo who had been tending to Zenitsu only moments before.

“Look who finally decided to come home.” Aoi told the younger girl who looked up, tilting her head. (Y/n) almost thought Kiyo hadn’t recognized her. Being as young as she was, she wouldn’t have blamed her, but then she burst forward and hugged (Y/n) tightly around her waist.

“What’s going on in here? Hm, Aoi-san, Kiyo?”

Naho and Sumi had made their way into the infirmary with a basket of fresh linens and paused at the entryway for a moment before they realized who their friend was hugging and ran over to join her with tears in their eyes.

“(Y/n)-san, where have you been all this time?” Naho whimpered.

“Why didn’t you say anything before you left?” Sumi cried.

“I’m sorry,” (Y/n) knelt down to better hug them all, “I know it’s not enough to make up for anything, but I’m sorry for leaving like that. It wasn’t fair,” she looked up to meet Aoi’s stern blue eyes, “to any of you.”

“Well, make it up to us by sticking around from now on.” Aoi said, crossing her arms. “No more running away.”

“But...” (Y/n) was conflicted. Had Shinobu not told the girls why she had left? (Y/n) mustered up the best smile she could and nodded feebly. “All right.”

“(Y/n)-san, your box is... humming?” Sumi pointed at the wooden box.

“Oh, um, you see... in this box is my friend, Nezuko,” (Y/n) treaded carefully, not wishing to startle the girls too badly if she could help it.

“You have someone in a box?” Aoi barked, “well let them out for goodness sake!”

“It’s a little bright in here...” (Y/n) shifted her vision to where Tanjirou and Zenitsu were talking, catching sight of Inosuke as well. Poor boar boy looked like he’d seen better days. “And I’m not sure that Shinobu-” should she still speak of her so informally? “-would be pleased if I let her out without her blessing.”

“Why wouldn’t Shinobu-sama allow you to let someone out of a box?” Aoi rolled her eyes.

“It’s complicated. I’m sure she’ll want to talk to you all about it once she comes back. Until then, Nezuko will be fine in here.”

The girls, though incredulous, let the subject drop for now. Although, they couldn’t help but eye the box with suspicion. Once Tanjirou was settled in the infirmary, the butterfly girls dragged (Y/n) away to talk about the goings on of the last four years which soon devolved into hounding (Y/n) for her own stories to share, even Kanao had come by to sit and listen.

“...And that’s how I helped the fishing village take care of the demon that was lurking in the sea.”

“Tell us another one, (Y/n)-san!” The youngest girls pleaded, kicking their feet in the air behind them. They had migrated to lay flat on their stomachs as the stories progressed and watched (Y/n) recount her adventures with their heads propped up on their arms with rapt attention.

“I’m afraid that will have to wait for another time, it’s quite late you know.”

Everyone turned to the door to find Shinobu staring down at them. The youngest girls pouted a bit, trying to get a bit more time to stick around, but Shinobu held firm and directed them to their rooms.

“You’ll still be here tomorrow, right? (Y/n)-san?” Sumi asked from the doorway.

“I...” (Y/n) pulled at the sleeve of her uniform and subtly pursed her lips while trying to figure out how to proceed, to her surprise, Shinobu spoke up on her behalf.

“I promise you’ll see her in the morning. Now of to bed. (Y/n) and I have much to discuss.”

The thought of having a prolonged conversation with Shinobu sent shivers through (Y/n)’s spine. Once all the girls were well out of sight, Shinobu redirected her attention to (Y/n).

“Let’s drop off your cargo first,” Shinobu said, motioning to the box sitting beside (Y/n), “I’ve arranged a room and Kamado-kun has been wondering where his... sister, has been.”

“Of course.” (Y/n) stood, shouldering the box.

Apparently the room was rather far. (Y/n) felt as if the silence between them was slowly eating at her until she finally decided to speak. For better or for worse.

“You’ve taken all of this extraordinarily well,” (Y/n) commented, testing the waters.

“Mm, I’d like to hold off on any conversation until we drop off the demon. Use this time to gather any thoughts, if you have them that is.”

(Y/n)’s brow furrowed slightly, eyes narrowed. She was sure that was some kind of dig at her intelligence, but she held her tongue.

They dropped off Nezuko, (Y/n) and Tanjirou bid each other good night, and then (Y/n) was led to an all too familiar space, the lab.

Shinobu motioned for (Y/n) to sit at one of the less cluttered tables while she closed the door firmly behind them. (Y/n) would have been lying if she said she wasn’t even just a tad bit concerned by the setting of this ‘talk’ that was about to unfold. Finally, Shinobu took the stool across from her on the other side of the table. She laced her fingers together, using them to prop up her chin as her endlessly amethyst eyes bore into (Y/n)’s. That ghostly smile seemingly perfected after four years of separation, had (Y/n)’s hands clench into fists under the table.

“So,” Shinobu began, her voice deceptively sweet, “when exactly do you think it was when you completely lost your mind?”

“Excuse me?” (Y/n)’s eye twitched.

“Defending a demon, offering up your own life for a demon to live... how insanely idiotic. I thought you were smarter than that. I suppose it had been.. four years, was it? Four years since you ran off. And I thought that was the most careless thing you could ever do. You really have outdone yourself!”

“Stop,” (Y/n) had heard enough of these little jabs and she new well enough Shinobu could go all day as long as she hadn’t changed too drastically in their time apart. However, Shinobu powered through.

“Everyone was devastated when you left you know. We were a family and you just up and left in the middle of the night without a word so soon after—“ After Kanae, “Now you’re putting everything on the line for some demon? You’re a coward. A selfish coward.”

(Y/n) was really angry now. She stood up so fast her stool clattered to the ground behind her. She slammed her hands against the table and stared furiously into Shinobu’s placid expression, though she could detect a hint of a heated spark in those deep purple eyes.

“Don’t act like you’re so innocent in all of this! You told me to leave! You want to judge me for trusting Nezuko with my life, fine! But I only did what you commanded of me when I left. You don’t get to say I just fucked off because you think I didn’t care enough!”

Shinobu had the nerve to chuckle, though no trace of humor was there, as she slowly rose to her own feet and assumed a similar stance over the table as (Y/n).

“Did you really think when I said that, when I told you to leave the lab, I meant I wanted you to walk out of my life?” Shinobu asked seriously.

“I didn’t know what you wanted! You weren’t the same person anymore! Don’t try telling me that it wasn’t what you wanted either, you never came looking for me. You never sent your crow. Tell me you weren’t ecstatic when you woke up that morning and didn’t have to deal with me anymore!”

Shinobu slapped her own hand against the table, a vein pulsed painfully under the skin of her forehead. She opened her mouth to retort, poisoned words ready to lash out with a flick of her tongue, but as luck would have it, a Kakushi nervously called from the other side of the door.

“Kochou-sama, the treatments for the, uh, despiderfication of the slayers from Natagumo Mountain are ready to be carried out with your supervision.”

Shinobu closed her eyes, breathing in deeply before opening them again and looking significantly more drained.

“I see. Please inform the others that I’ll be there in a few moments.”

“Right away, Kochou-sama.”

As the footsteps pattered away, (Y/n) fixed her stool upright before heading in the direction of the door, assuming she and Shinobu were done talking, or screaming rather. (Y/n) was surprised to feel Shinobu grasp her hand as she tried to pass by.

“You remember where your room is, right?” Shinobu asked, the undertones of her voice still taut with anger.

(Y/n) too tired to fight on, responded simply with a mute nod.

“I had the Kakushi clean it earlier today. Everything should still be as you left it.”

Shinobu let go of (Y/n)’s hand and it immediately felt cold. The Hashira opened the lab door and stepped out into the hallway, her back to (Y/n) as she made her last parting statement.

“If you know what is good for you, you won’t step a foot outside of estate grounds without speaking to me first.”

“And if I don’t?” (Y/n) asked just to be obstinate.

“Then I guess I’ll have to hunt you down for sport.” Shinobu quickly replied, turning to face (Y/n) just to show her how serious she was.

(Y/n) couldn’t help the weak guffaw that left her lips. To hear such a threat delivered by such a soothing tone was practically oxymoronic.

Shinobu lingered for a moment longer before gliding off to see to her patients while (Y/n) turned down the opposite end of the hallway and traveled down a few more to find herself standing outside of her old room. She opened the door, the space was clean as Shinobu promised. She closed the door softly behind her, blocking off the light from the hall. There would be time to be sentimental in the morning. Right now, between the Mountain, the trial and the emotional battle with the Insect Hashira herself, (Y/n) was exhausted. She scooted her way into the freshly made futon and fell asleep with the nostalgic smell of wisteria petals drifting through her airways.

***

(Y/n) awoke around mid-morning to the sun shining through her window. She stretched and got dressed, her fingers pausing over the last few buttons of her uniform as she glanced over the desk.

The butterfly hair clip she had once worn with pride sat in front of her. It appeared to be left untouched by time. Not even a speck of dust adorned the colorful wings. She reached out to it, but her fingers curled just before she touched it. She pulled her hand back as a knock sounded on the door.

“Yes?”

“It’s Aoi.” A voice called from the other side.

(Y/n) quickly took the last few steps needed to reach the door and slid it open to greet Aoi but before she could, the stern girl stepped inside and pulled the door shut again.

“Were you and Shinobu-sama fighting last night?” She asked hurriedly.

“Where did you hear that?” (Y/n) answered the question with one of her own.

“The Kakushi are partial to gossip. Now what did you do!” Aoi huffed, jabbing (Y/n)’s shoulder.

“Why does it have to be me? Shinobu was the one who started it!” (Y/n) backed up, rubbing her shoulder.

“You two better make up soon. It will hurt Naho, Sumi and Kiyo if they find out you’re still mad at each other,” Aoi crossed her arms over her chest.

“It’s not that easy, Aoi. It’s been four years. It’s not all going to go away overnight.”

“Do I have to do everything around here?” Aoi grumbled to herself, passing a hand over her face. “I’ll help you, but you better try to be civil.”

“Aoi, I don’t need help. I’m sorry that fight got back to you. If Shinobu and I talk again, I promise I’ll try harder to keep my temper in check, okay?”

Aoi sighed and shook her head, “Fine. That wasn’t what I had come to talk to you about anyway.”

“Oh,” (Y/n) tilted her head, “then what is it?”

“Your friends,” Aoi pinched the bridge of her nose, “they’re driving me crazy. I need you to get the blonde and the boar to participate in recovery training.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” (Y/n) answered with slight reluctance. She knew just how difficult those two could be.

Aoi and (Y/n) arrived at the room that was being used for the boys’ recovery training. Tanjirou was already working hard, trying to catch Kanao in a game of tag, while Zenitsu and Inosuke watched from the corner with bitter disinterest.

“Hey,” (Y/n) addressed the younger teens, “what’s the problem? Don’t you guys want to get better? Stronger?”

“It’s pointless.” Inosuke weakly answered.

“(Y/n)-san, this training is too difficult!” Zenitsu cried.

(Y/n) dodged the weepy blonde’s attempts at hugging her and bonked him on the head with the side of her fist.

“I feel no sympathy for you. Aoi and the others are working really hard to get you back in fighting shape, the least you could do is put a little bit of effort in!” (Y/n) crossed her arms, “before you know it, Tanjirou will leave you both in the dust. Do you really want that?”

Zenitsu and Inosuke grunted, still refusing to budge. (Y/n) motioned for Naho to hand her a cup of medicated water and promptly splashed its contents all over the boys.

“What was that for?” Zenitsu screeched.

“Want revenge? Come take me on.” (Y/n) motioned to the table of cups.

Naho, Sumi and Kiyo made small sounds of excitement, trying to encourage the boys, but they just grumbled and walked back to the infirmary.

“You guys are going to regret walking away!” (Y/n) called after them. “Let me know when you are done moping and want to get back to work!”

“Oh my.” Shinobu giggled as she walked in, watching Zenitsu and Inosuke sulk past her.

Shinobu turned to observe the room, pausing at (Y/n). Her eyes flickered down at (Y/n)’s chest and stayed there long enough for the other slayer to notice.

“What?” (Y/n) had grumbled mostly to herself as she followed Shinobu’s gaze downward. Heat shot to her face immediately as she realized she had forgotten to finish buttoning her uniform after Aoi distracted her. It wasn’t showing a lot, just her collar bones and a bit of her chest, but it was still jarring. With a strangled chirp, she quickly buttoned her uniform the rest of the way.

“Oh please, no need to cover up on my account.” Shinobu easily teased, though she felt a bit embarrassed to have been caught staring. She wasn’t entirely sure why her vision gravitated there to begin with.

After a few false starts, (Y/n) finally choked out, “what do you want?”

“I need Kanao and Aoi to help me gather more herbs for spider demon antidotes, not that it’s any of your business.”

“Kochou-sama,” Aoi interjected before (Y/n) could retaliate, “Kanao and I are helping Tanjirou complete his recovery training for the day. I’ve asked (Y/n)-san to fill in for us and she has readily agreed to take our place.”

(Y/n) gave Aoi a look, prompting the younger girl to pinch at (Y/n)’s side discreetly. A message to keep her mouth shut. Kanao simply blinked, twisting on the ball of her foot to dodge another one of Tanjirou’s lunges.

“Very well then, keep up (Y/n). I hope you still remember a thing or two about plants in that thick skull of yours,” Shinobu glided past (Y/n) to step out onto the engawa, “though I wouldn’t be too surprised if all of that knowledge fell out of your head along with your common sense.”

(Y/n) opened her mouth before shutting it firmly closed. Remembering that the younger girls were there and what Aoi had asked of her, she pursed her lips and silently fell into step beside the Hashira, walking with her to the nearby forest where the herbs they needed flourished.

“You recall what Aralia Cordata looks like, correct?” Shinobu asked once they were well within the trees.

“Yeah, kind of hard to miss that shrub if you know what you’re looking for.” (Y/n) groused.

“Fine, fine. Don’t come crying to me if you touch something poisonous.”

“I won’t. Won’t touch anything poisonous I mean. Because I know what I’m doing.”

“Are you telling me that or are you just trying to reassure yourself?”

(Y/n) chose not to reply, instead she split off from Shinobu to one of the shrubs in question and began harvesting a few leafy tendrils from it. Before long, her basket was filled and she turned just in time to see Shinobu turn back to her own bush, pretending to examine one of the tendrils she had cut.

“You know,” (Y/n) sighed as she stood back to her full height, “Aoi only made me come here in her stead because that fight we had last night got back to her. She expects us to make up.”

“Mm, I figured it was something like that,” Shinobu hummed, “I do believe that for once, she is too optimistic in that regard.”

“Well, you never did like admitting when you were wrong,” (Y/n) shrugged, “or saying you’re sorry. It’s comforting to know you haven’t completely destroyed your old personality.”

“And what exactly have I been wrong about, (Y/n)?” Shinobu’s forehead pulsed, “what exactly have I done that requires an apology?”

“You lie to everyone Shinobu. You hide behind plastic smiles pretending to be someone you’re not to fill a void. Saying your fine and shrugging everyone off while holding them at arm's length. When I tried to talk to you, you pushed me away and told me to leave. You were dismissive, cold.”

(Y/n) wrapped her arms around herself as if a chilling wind overcame her. Continuing on, she spoke lowly before Shinobu could speak her denial.

“Not to say that I don’t have my own fault in all of this. Even if I thought you really wanted me gone that night, I should have fought harder for you. I knew you were hurting, but I gave up and left anyway. That is something I’ve thought about a lot in our time apart and I regret it every day because you were worth fighting for.”

(Y/n) blew out a harsh breath of air, running a hand over her scalp she made her closing statement.

“If there was one thing you were right about last night, it’s that I’m a coward and I’m sorry that I didn’t try harder.”

(Y/n) chanced a look at Shinobu’s face. The Hashira’s eyes rounded and her mouth was ever so slightly agape. The silence hung in the air until a sweet wisteria breeze swept through the trees and (Y/n) cleared her throat and looked away.

“So if we could at least pretend to get along for the sake of the girls, I think Aoi would appreciate it.” (Y/n) added before reaching down to collect her basket. A sudden noise, like air being rapidly released through one’s nose, came from behind (Y/n) and she paused in her movements to glance back at Shinobu who was looking down at the leaf she was worrying between her fingers.

“I... apologize, for pushing you away in such a way that made you think you had to exile yourself. It was also cruel of me to say you didn’t care about us when I knew that you thought of this place as your home. I was trying to hurt you back and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.” Shinobu solemnly said.

Now it was (Y/n)’s turn to stare. Soon, Shinobu leveled a cocky smile and stood with her basket of leaves and a few other miscellaneous plants she gathered.

“Looks like you were wrong about my ability to apologize, hm?” She said.

“Shut up. Don’t ruin the moment.” (Y/n) smiled, reaching for her own basket.

The atmosphere surrounding the girls leaving the forest felt a lot more relaxed than it had upon entering.

***

Days turned into weeks and everything seemed so much better after. It was still awkward at times, but (Y/n) and Shinobu were finding their rhythm again. There was still a little hostility at times, but rather than avoid each other, they talked it out. It was almost frightening how in sync they were when they were working well together.

(Y/n) split her time between helping Shinobu with the slayers turned spiders and helping the younger girls train Tanjirou. She was elated by the boy’s progress as he finally managed to catch Kanao. She had noticed Zenitsu and Inosuke lurking nearby and gestured to the room. Now that they knew recovery training was possible and Tanjirou was leaving them in the dust, the rambunctious boys finally felt the need to catch up with their comrade’s progress.

Before long, the boys were well enough to continue the training on their own and (Y/n) found herself spending more and more time with Shinobu. They would spend hours talking or saying nothing at all, just enjoying each other’s company while they worked away on medicines and poisons.

It didn’t take long for (Y/n) to notice the difference. How Shinobu took up more than her fair share of space in (Y/n)’s thoughts. Even just catching sight of her across the garden was starting to make (Y/n)’s heart leap. On the occasion Shinobu would spot her she’d smile and wave, making (Y/n)’s heart stop all together before kicking into overdrive. The lingering touches and whispered words Shinobu would share with her as they worked in the lab certainly didn’t help either. Just when (Y/n) had thought they finally found their dynamic... Why was it changing again already?

(Y/n) was telling Naho, Sumi and Kiyo the story of how she met Tanjirou and Nezuko while she patted the demon’s head. Ever since Nezuko had woken up, the younger girls, though skittish at first, had grown to be fascinated and even enamored with her. As (Y/n) retold the tale, Nezuko humming happily at her side, Shinobu happened upon the group.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this session short. Tanjirou and the others are ready to get back out on the road now. Something about joining Rengoku-san on his next mission.”

“How did I not here about this plan sooner?” (Y/n) frowned.

“That’s a question best suited for Tanjirou to answer I suppose.” Shinobu replied rather emotionlessly, concerning (Y/n).

So while everyone else was getting ready to leave, (Y/n) pulled Tanjirou aside and asked him what was going on.

“I didn’t tell you we were leaving because I hope you’ll stay and continue to rebuild the relationships you have here, (Y/n)-san. I appreciate everything you’ve done for Nezuko and I, and now I hope to return the favor.” Tanjirou smiled brightly.

“And how do you figure you’re doing that?” (Y/n) crossed her arms.

“Because the longer you get to stay here, the more time you get to spend with Shinobu-san! I can smell that you two want to be together more now than ever.”

“You and your nose I swear,” heat radiated off of (Y/n)’s cheeks, “I think you have intuition and that sense mixed up.”

Tanjirou merely laughed in response.

“So, you guys think you’ll really be okay without me? You’ll stay out of trouble?”

“Don’t worry, (Y/n)-san! We’ll see each other again soon!” Tanjirou beamed.

(Y/n) smiled in return and they rejoined the send off.

“Where did Shinobu-san go?” Tanjirou wondered.

(Y/n) looked around and sure enough, the Pillar was nowhere to be seen.

“She must have had something urgent to attend to,” she answered, making a note to search for her later.

(Y/n) stood out in the garden until the loud group disappeared into the trees and their shouts could no longer be heard over the rustling of the leaves. She took a moment to stare out into the clear blue sky before returning inside.

(Y/n) was going to go look for Shinobu, but she wanted to go to her room to change her uniform first since Zenitsu had snotted all over it in his tearful goodbye.

She opened the door and was surprised to find Shinobu already inside. Shinobu’s back was turned to her as she quickly ran a sleeve over her face. She cleared her throat before facing back with a weak smile.

“(Y/n), forget something?”

“Huh?” (Y/n) blinked, still trying to process why Shinobu might have just been tearing up in her room of all places.

“The others must be ready to leave now. You better pick up what you needed so they don't have to wait too long.”

“They already left, Shinobu.” (Y/n) explained. “I hadn’t planned on going with them.”

“Oh.” Shinobu turned to look outside the window of (Y/n)’s room, hoping the blood that buzzed in her cheeks hadn’t burned its way to her ears as well.

“Shinobu, is something wrong?” (Y/n) tested.

“I just feel a bit silly now I suppose.” Shinobu admitted, bringing a slight smile to (Y/n)’s face with her honesty. “I thought you were gone again.”

“Well, I wouldn’t leave without a proper goodbye, not again.” (Y/n) came up beside Shinobu, intending to give her hand a comforting squeeze when she felt something other than skin instead. Looking down she saw her old butterfly clip in Shinobu’s hand, a quick look at the empty spot at her desk confirmed it.

Shinobu noticed that (Y/n) had noticed and rose the hairclip up between them with a subdued exhale.

“You know, every morning I wonder if it will be the morning you feel comfortable enough to wear this again.” Shinobu said, twirling the insect in her fingers. “When I thought you were gone and I saw this still sitting on your desk, it brought me back to places I’d rather not think about.”

“I’m sorry,” (Y/n) rested her hand over the back of Shinobu’s haori, “I just haven’t felt... I don’t know, worthy of it? I didn’t intend to make you feel bad.”

A small puff of air left Shinobu’s nose at the words. “It isn’t a matter of worth, it’s about whether or not you feel like you belong here again. Whether or not you’re comfortable here.”

“Agree to disagree.” (Y/n) joked. “But if it makes you feel better, I’m glad I get to spend more time here. I’ve been happier in these last few weeks than in the last few years.”

“I’m glad.” Shinobu watched a couple of butterflies flutter against the window before turning back to the garden. “And if you insist on it being a matter of worth, you are more than worthy. It’s not even a question to me.”

“Thank you.” (Y/n) simpered. Her breathing hitched slightly when Shinobu reached up to run her fingers through a loose lock of (Y/n)’s hair.

“Would you let me do your hair?” Shinobu asked softly.

“I’d like that.” (Y/n) whispered.

Shinobu guided (Y/n) back to the desk and sat her down on the chair. She freed (Y/n)’s hair from its plain hair band and quietly ran a brush through her locks with such softness that (Y/n) felt like she might fall asleep. Shinobu gathered the hair in her hands and styled it as she wished, clipping it together with the butterfly hair clip. Shinobu checked over her work, her hands resting on (Y/n)’s shoulders.

“You look perfect.” (Y/n) shivered. She hadn’t expected Shinobu’s lips to be so close to her ear. Neither had she expected the lips to ghost over her cheek in a light kiss.

“I just remembered I have a meeting I need to attend. You’ll help the girls with the infirmary won’t you?”

(Y/n) had almost forgotten how to speak but managed to pull it together. “Of course! I’ll, um, see you when you get back?”

“Perhaps,” Shinobu removed her hands from (Y/n)’s shoulders, “I won’t be back until late though.”

“Okay.”

A shy hug (in slightly awkward positioning due to the gross state of the Kinoe’s uniform, courtesy of Zenitsu) and Shinobu parted ways with (Y/n). (Y/n) met up with the girls in the infirmary and was almost immediately met with a chorus of cheers from Naho, Kiyo and Sumi when they noticed her hair. Aoi and Kanao smiled at the sight as well. A full day of caring for the infirmary made (Y/n) excited to finally get into bed for the night.

She awoke with a scream caught in her throat. Old demons had visited her in her sleep. As she worked to calm her heart, she noticed the light of the full moon streaming through her window. With a few more deep breaths she sat up from her futon and wrapped her haori around her shoulders.

Quietly exiting her room, she padded through the halls until she found her way to the kitchen, a smile pulled at her lips when she found Shinobu already there boiling water.

“Rough night?” Shinobu asked. She was also in her bed wear, her hair hanging loose from its usual style.

“Yes,” (Y/n) moved to stand beside her, “it’s been awhile since the last one I had.”

“How did you deal with that when you were on the road?”

“I would buy little sacks of tea leaves as I went. On bad nights or whenever sleep eluded me I’d boil up some water and try a new blend. Yours was always the best though.”

“I was already going to make you a cup, no need for flattery.”

“No flattery here. Just the truth.” (Y/n) swore, making Shinobu’s smile just a tad fuller.

Shinobu finished preparing the cups and as (Y/n) took hers about ready to leave, the Hashira asked her to wait.

“It’s a full moon tonight. Want to watch the stars for a moment?” Shinobu asked.

“I’d love to.” (Y/n) nodded.

The pair walked outside along the engawa until they had a pleasant view of the full brightness of the moon. They sat along the engawa’s edge, letting their legs dangle as they sipped their tea in the drowning noise of cicada and cricket songs.

(Y/n) chanced a glance at Shinobu in her periphery and marveled at how the moonlight highlighted her skin to the point where she almost appeared to be glowing. The way it reflected off of her eyes was absolutely enchanting. (Y/n) forced her attention back on the sky. Though beautiful it seemed to pale in comparison to the girl next to her.

As her eyes traced over the larger craters of the moon, she thought back on an old saying she had read at one of the inns she had frequented. An old, battered collection of pages that she read through when sleep didn’t come. She had read that particular work quite a few times.

She wondered if perhaps Shinobu had read it too. Though more likely the girl had her face buried in medical texts than anything else. (Y/n) then wondered, if perhaps she could get away with saying it. A confession without consequence, but on the off change that Shinobu was knowledgeable on the old text it could damage the progress they had made in healing their relationship. Perhaps it would be better to just enjoy the moment. (Y/n) took another sip of tea.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”

(Y/n) nearly choked on her tea, spluttering and coughing as she tried in vein to stop herself. Finally she managed to calm down only to notice how intently Shinobu was staring at her.

Had she meant that literally? Shinobu was looking at (Y/n) so expectantly, but it could easily just be because she had nearly blacked out from inhaling her tea!

“...It is.” (Y/n) finally answered hiding her face in her cup, looking at neither Shinobu nor the moon.

Another long silence filled by the chirps of insects enjoying the humid night air. (Y/n) had finished her tea and set her cup to her right, her free hand that had been resting between Shinobu and herself was soon covered by a cool and calloused touch.

(Y/n) shyly turned her head to meet the Pillar’s gaze and jumped a bit when her nose unexpectedly brushed against Shinobu’s.

“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” Shinobu repeated barely above a whisper. She was not pulling away.

(Y/n) felt her throat dry and she wished she had just one more swallow of tea left. With a slight quiver in her lips, she responded. Doing her best to stay focused on the purple irises before her.

“Yes,” she answered with a slight nod, careful not to bump head with Shinobu, “it is.”

“(Y/n)?” Shinobu called to her, cupping her face gently with the hand that wasn’t already resting on top of (Y/n)’s.

“Y.. yes?”

“Would you kiss me if I asked?” Shinobu murmured, filling (Y/n)’s senses with a dizzying wisteria scent. The slayer didn’t even try to talk herself out of answering such a query as the thumb of Shinobu’s hand swiped the corner of her lips.

“Yes.” She replied, nearly breathless already and her pupils blown wide.

“(Y/n), please kiss me.”

It was all too easy to lean in when they were already sitting so closely. The hand Shinobu had been using to cup her cheek weaved through the hair at the back of (Y/n)’s head, pulling her closer yet as their lips met a bit clumsily in buzzing, mind numbing bliss. (Y/n)’s free hand, the one not currently being clutched in a near death grip over the wooden floor, found home at the back of Shinobu’s neck, lightly massaging the skin there.

They broke apart a few times but the breaths they took were quick and few. Eventually they rested against each other while their abused lungs burned with a hunger for oxygen.

“I have wanted to do that for longer than I’d like to admit.” Shinobu quietly confessed, twisting a lock of (Y/n)’s hair though her fingers.

“Even when we were fighting?” (Y/n) joked, rubbing the back of Shinobu’s neck with her thumb.

“Strangely enough, yes. There were times when I thought about doing it just to shut you up. Though I didn’t dare allow myself to entertain the thought for long.”

(Y/n) chuckled and leaned in to steal another kiss, much less heated then the last few and much quicker as a chorus of surprised gasps made them pull apart and turn around.

“They kissed! They’re kissing!” Sumi cheered while Aoi tried to quiet her and push her back into the mansion.

Sumi and Kiyo emerged from the doorway that Shinobu had left open when she and (Y/n) first came out into the moonlight and were immediately hounding them for confirmation.

“We missed it! Do it again!” Kiyo pleaded.

“It’s like a fairy tale!” Naho cheered.

“You three!” Aoi grumbled with embarrassment. “Kanao, help me out here!”

Kanao looked between Aoi, the rowdy girls, then her sister and senpai, before settling on a nice golf clap of congratulations. This made Aoi lightly smack herself in the face and completely give up on trying to rein in the younger children.

“My, what are you all doing up I wonder?” Shinobu smiled.

“We wanted to watch the moon too Shinobu-sama! Aoi-san even made tea!” Naho clapped.

“But it’s clear you’re, busy, with something and we should go back inside.” Aoi rushed.

“Nonsense, it’s a lovely night. These things are best experienced with those you care about, don’t you all agree?”

“Yes!” Three excited voices readily agreed before wiggling in between the older girls with light blankets and their tea.

Aoi grumbled a half hearted reminder to be careful with the tea before sitting down beside (Y/n) with her own cup. Kanao took a seat beside Shinobu, lightly kicking her feet over the engawa as she started up silently at the moon.

They stayed up for hours, naming constellations, spotting shooting stars, and listening for the occasional loud croak of a far off frog in the thick of the cicadas and crickets.

Dawn wasn’t too far off when Naho, Sumi and Kiyo fell asleep. (Y/n), Shinobu and Kanao each picked one up and returned them to their rooms. Aoi gathered the discarded cups and helped with the doors before bidding the older girls goodnight, Kanao trailing behind her.

“What a lively night. I’m afraid chores will suffer tomorrow.” Shinobu mused as she walked (Y/n) back to her room.

“We’ll figure it out.” (Y/n) said, shyly brushing her hand against Shinobu’s and smiling when Shinobu laced their fingers together.

Once at (Y/n)’s room Shinobu raised (Y/n)’s hand to her lips with a smirk, planting a kiss on battle worn knuckles.

“This is where I leave you. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Why does that feel too long?” (Y/n) laughed quietly.

“I’m not sure, you’d think after four years of bitter silence a couple of hours would be a walk in the park.” Shinobu chuckled in return.

“I guess we just have a lot of time to make up for, huh?”

“Mm, that is a plausible line of reasoning,” Shinobu hummed, a spark growing in her eyes, “might I trouble you for one more kiss before I retire to my room?”

“I was hoping you’d ask.”

(Y/n) hardly got the words out before Shinobu was on her. Four kisses later and they pulled away with matching grins.

“I’ll see you in my dreams.” Shinobu added one last peck before pulling away.

“As will I.”

***

Well into the next morning (Y/n) awoke energized and ready to fight the world. She changed into a fresh uniform and pinned her hair with care, straightening the butterfly pin before rushing out of her room to begin her day with the young woman who had gifted it to her.

[ventiskies]

When he rejects you | Chongyun, Scaramouche, Albedo

a/n: hello friends!! i apologize for my somewhat disappearance TwT im currently having exam season but i couldnt help but write something for my favorite three (and yes, scara is there... and honestly, I don't know when I started simping for him either but you can now call me a future scaramouche haver >:)) so not a request, but do enjoy !! <3 (apologies if there are any errors!!)

pairing: chongyun x gn! reader, scaramouche x gn! reader, albedo x gn! reader (platonic)

Chongyun

★ Chongyun, Xingqiu and you had been best friends since you were kids. And although you were a trio, you and Chongyun had always known each other much longer.

★ If your life were a book, it would be a sweet childhood best friends growing up together genre, something that often piqued Xingqiu’s interests when he drags the two of you to Wanwen bookhouse

★ The books you had borrowed from Xingqiu about them all ended with the same thing; that they end up becoming a couple and growing up together. Reminiscing about their childhood youth when they were old.

★ You knew not to trust the books or use them as a guide, but just like the books, you had grown to fall in love with the icy-haired boy.

★ Chongyun was like a breath of fresh air. His determination in exorcising ‘evil spirits' to the point that he blindly falls for Xingqiu and your pranks were the things that you loved about him. He was filled with enthusiasm and positivity (literally).

★ You grew into enjoying his positive attitude, you couldn't imagine a day going by without Chongyun telling you and Xingqiu about a so called 'haunted' place he had found, and forcing the two of you to come with him. and even if it had ended without meeting a single spirit, he would still be in high spirits.

★ you loved it, seeing the rush of thrill he feels whenever he senses a spirit nearby, hoping the spirit was able to withstand his excessive yang energy. the repeating days without one successful exorcism, only to end up getting treated to a meal by Xingqiu, and the parting that always ends with a promise to see each other the day after. Chongyun speaks his emotions, and you were in love with that.

★ and him, just in general.

★ And one day, you had decided to tell him just that

★ You were both on the hunt for Jueyun chilies for Xiangling, a small commission that you had decided to take on while waiting for Xingqiu to finish his work at the guild. The sun had set, and you had returned from Qingce village with a bucket full of the chilies and had decided to rest on top of the mountain where you had both Waypointed to just to admire the sunset.

★ In the heat of the moment, you had spoken.

“I like you, Chongyun,” you had said, looking at him with a smile.

★ You would have accepted a silence. You had expected it to be like the books; he would gently laugh and look at you, admitting that he had been waiting for you to say the exact words, lean in to kiss you. It would be awkward at first, but it’ll also be something to look back to in the future when kissing becomes something you do every day. You’d return back to Liyue Harbor hand in hand, and be able to tell Xingqiu and Xiangling that he was your boyfriend now, and admit to the former that maybe his books were right.

★ But instead, you were met with Chongyun’s wide eyes staring at you. His cheeks flushed red with what you had tried hard to hope was shyness, but had appealed more like panic. He had stood up and cleared his throat

“We- we should get back,” he says, too quickly for someone as calm as he is. And you knew it was a wrong step, “I’m-,” he clears his throat, “I’m going to go ahead first. I'm sorry,”

★ You didn’t know if he was apologizing for leaving early, or for not being able to accept your feelings, but when you hadn't seen him the following day, you could only assume.

Scaramouche

★ Honestly, you had it coming for you.

★ Scaramouche is someone whose life is their job. There was nothing that could distract him from working for the Tsaritsa

★ You had (been self-entitled) as his best friend. And honestly, if Scaramouche knew of it, he doesn't blame you. Everyone in the Fatui and who worked under the Fatui knew how close you were. Which was odd because, for one, you were absolutely nothing like him. Although you weren't exactly liked by everyone, you weren't loathed by everyone like the sixth harbinger was.

★ Scaramouche was feared by anyone who hears his name or walks a foot away from him, while you carried a calmer aura. Without glancing, Scaramouche could bring his subordinates trembling, while they would greet you when you pass by them.

★ You were polar opposites, and yet, everyone has seen the two of you together so much that when he wasn't with you or the other way around, people would assume you were on a solo mission or just leaving the other’s quarters

★ Of course, being his best friend, you weren’t spared of his usual harsh words. As a matter of fact, you probably had it much worse than anyone else. It had almost seemed as if every time he spoke, he spoke like he was trying to get rid of you.

★ But if that really were the case, then he hasn’t been trying his best. You had stayed with him since you had become an ally to the Fatui, and ever since then had stayed by his side. When others shake in fear, you shake your head with a laugh and a retort.

★ It had even come as a surprise to you when you had realized you had fallen for the harbinger. You would think that spending time with such a foul-mouthed person who would murder someone in the blink of an eye with no hesitation would make you dislike him. But that didn’t happen.

★ In fact, it was quite the opposite. You had fallen in love with him.

★ It wasn’t obvious to anyone, and even you had to take the time to squint to look for it. But Scaramouche did care for you in his own way. Whether it be toning down the harsh words when he sees your mood dampen after a mission, or beating the shit out of a person who had attacked you ruthlessly, not stopping even after his hands were covered in crimson liquid and the person almost certainly died. Even if he calls you a hindrance afterward for dirtying his hands, he definitely thought of you the same as you thought of him.

★ A friend.

★ Or, you had hoped, something more.

★ It was a mistake to take his slight kindness as a sign of him liking you, it truly was.

★ During your journey to Inazuma for a mission, you had decided to confess to him out of the blue. You knew he was someone who could predict the outcome of something even before you said anything, so a slow confession when the sun was setting in a field of flowers would just be a waste of time. if there was something you learned, it's to cut to the chase with him.

“Hey Scara,” you had said quietly. He had replied with a low hum, not turning back to look at you, “I like you.”

★ Without a second thought, Scaramouche had taken you by surprise as well.

★ He had not stopped in his tracks, instead, his shoulders shook in laugher. His laugh wasn't the same laugh you hear whenever you make a stupid mishap or get slightly injured during a simple mission- no, those laughs were warmer. Although laced with unkindness, they were more familiar.

★ This one was condescending. As if you were a new recruit again, having to work under him. As if all those years as friends had just gone down the drain.

“Stupid. What a fool of me to assume you were different.” he says, voice clear as a bell in the night, “don’t be an inconvenience. I don't have time for people like you.”

Albedo

★ Ever since working under Albedo with Sucrose, your life had been nothing but full of wonder. Although some were dangerous, Albedo and you bonded easily as if you had worked together in a past life.

★ Albedo was a genius. He was someone you looked up to, and sometime during your investigations, he had become a friend. You didn't know when it started. When it had gone from two alchemists staying the night in Dragonspine to observe the different stages of new plant growth, to- with the permission of the acting grandmaster - just two people, two friends, going out to explore the seven nations.

★ Sucrose and Timaeus had stayed back in Mondstadt to finish experiments that you both had decided to put on hold for your trip, and with nothing to worry about, the two of you had gone out with nothing but the protection of each other (and your visions, of course), and a few packed meals from Good Hunter.

★ Albedo had a side that no one saw unless they spent nights camping with him in the middle of nowhere. You were one of the lucky people who were able to see that side of his during your trips around the seven.

★ The alchemist wasn't just curious about the way the world works, he had also been curious with, well, you.

★ Some nights when he couldn't go to sleep (which was often. You’d be surprised to see how messed up his sleep schedule was), he would sit in front of the fire you had both worked hard to make, and simply talk.

★ sometimes, it would be short conversations. but more than often, you find yourself talking about everything and nothing until the sun rose above the mountains, and you would have to continue your journey until one of you (usually being you,) were too tired to continue.

★ Albedo talks with passion, no matter what the topic is. He could be talking about what you were going to be having for dinner for the next night before you reach the first region in your trip, and he would already have you captivated.

★ Albedo also talks with gentleness. And this was the said side not a lot of people would be able to see from the chief alchemist. Whenever the tent was filled with comforting silence, you would be able to hear Albedo asking you questions about yourself. They weren’t your standard, what was your dream growing up? Kind of questions, but they were more specific. More… personal.

★ Is it not funny, how life works? What if a single moment had changed in the past, I and you wouldn't have met. He would question, eyes trained to the flames burning in front of him. It sounded rhetorical, but his tone was laced with wonder. He sounds as if he was expecting an answer, but he doesn't urge you for one. And every time he does, you merely hum.

★ Albedo was gentle in everything he did. Almost all the time you were with him, he had never acted brashly. He was patient, kind.

★ and that was most likely what had prompted your crush on the alchemist

★ crushing on Albedo was like looking up at the stars. he was someone who shined brightly, but you knew he was too far to reach, yet despite that, you had still attempted to.

★ you had decided to finally let it all out on him the night of your final stay before you reached your final region, which was Inazuma.

★ and that, you had realized a little too late, had been the icing on top of a really terrible cake.

"Albedo," you had stared, and the alchemist immediately turned towards you. that was something you had grown fond of. you knew Albedo was a man married to his work, so when he turns to you in the midst of it, you felt your stomach churn in delight, "I have to tell you something,"

“Hm?” he hums, setting his notepad down to give you his full attention, “what is it, y/n?”

★ You took a deep breath, and the moment you had opened your mouth to tell him, you had a sinking feeling you had made a huge mistake.

“I like you, a lot,” you muttered, “not just platonically, Albedo. I… I think you're really interesting. and if you'd like, I would love to be with you. ”

★ Albedo’s face had fallen, and although it had been the slightest, you had still noticed it. He looked at you as if the cogs were turning in his brain, and finally, he looks down

“I must apologize,” he starts, and you feel your stomach drop, “but I’m not interested in you that way, y/n. If it makes you feel better, I see you as a very dear friend,”

★ You nod, apologizing to Albedo before he offers a small smile before continuing his research

★ You both did not speak of it, but there was a very thick air of silence hangs over the two of you afterward, that didn't dissipate even after you both left the camp.

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Covenant: Gains

Poly Sons of Ipswich x Reader

Word Count: 2,802

Summary: Trying to take advantage of their gym membership, reader starts working with a devastatingly attractive personal trainer. And his friend is pretty hot, too.  

The gym was still new for you but you had been coming consistently enough that you felt comfortable there. You knew what times equipment would be available and what times the crowds would be too much (week days 3-5:30 was like competing in the Hunger Games.)

Cardio always came before strength exercises because your muscles would be too fatigued otherwise. 

And on Tuesdays and Saturdays they played your favorite music on the loud speakers so you didn’t have to bother with headphones on those days.

Still, you weren’t an expert by any means. 

In fact, you were still hesitant to call yourself a gym-goer because you’d seen the workouts other people did and you definitely weren’t doing that. There was no strategy, you just did what you felt like doing on any given day. You were impressed by their discipline though.

Maybe, most likely, it would benefit you to incorporate some of that into your own routine.

The gym had a personal trainer program and you figured that would be the best bet—much easier than trying to figure it out on your own.

Poking around the website, you found the section that explained the process. The design was modern and intuitive, and it was easy to book an appointment: the only information you needed to provide was your name, the date/time, and what trainer you wanted.

The first two things were easy to fill out but the last had you a little stumped; you weren’t familiar enough with any of the trainers to request anyone by name even with the drop-down menu that listed out all of the choices. For a second, you were tempted to forget about the whole thing but luckily, there was an option for ‘no preference’ and anxiety levels dropped off as you selected it.

Appointment booked, you went on with the rest of your night, focus shifting to what sounded good to eat for dinner.

A week later, you found yourself in the gym’s front lobby, arms crossed and foot tapping. Since it was the first time, there was no harm in arriving early. The directions on the website had said to wait there for the trainer but so far there was no sign of them. Granted, there was still five minutes until the scheduled start so it would be unfair to start complaining about them just yet.

Rolling your neck to alleviate some of the tension, you paused mid-stretch, neck awkwardly craned like a gaggling turkey, when a man walked out. He was without a doubt the most attractive man you’d seen at the gym to date.

Thick dark hair that curled just above his ears. Warm brown eyes and an even warmer smile. Tanned skin that wrapped around arms that had just the right amount muscle: toned but not bulky. All in all, a good looking man.

You tracked him as he glanced around the area, looking for something—his eyes suddenly met yours and you straightened up in embarrassment—or someone. “Y/N?” he questioned.

You throat was so dry, it was painful to swallow. “That’s me.”

It didn’t seem possible but his smile grew even brighter. He stuck his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m Caleb and I’ll be your trainer today.”

Good karma most certainly at work here. How else could you explain being lucky enough to have the hottest guy in the gym be the trainer? Whatever the case, you weren’t going to look this particular gift horse in the mouth.

He gestured you forward with a wave of his hand and followed you to the main workout area. There was slight pressure to staying cool and collected with him behind you. 

“I’m going to start you off with some jogging to warm-up. Do you want to use the track or hop on a treadmill?”

“Treadmill is fine. It’s what I normally use.”

You stepped up onto the belt and fiddled with the settings to establish a pace you felt comfortable with. The machine started up with a loud hum and your arms and legs began to pump. Normally, you’d have your earphones in to distract yourself with music but they weren’t that day so that you could hear Caleb if he said anything to you.

Good thinking, really, since he did indeed start chatting.

“So how long have you been a member?” he asked.

Determined not to sound steady, you took a few moments to normalize your breathing. “About two months. But this is the first time I’ve worked with a professional,” you added at the end.

It was hard to hear his laugh over the treadmill but the hitching of his shoulders gave him away. “Thanks, but I’m not really a professional. I just have a training certification is all.”

Huh. Attractive and humble. If you weren’t careful, you’d develop a full-blown crush in no time.

“A certification sounds professional to me,” you insisted. There. That wasn’t flirty at all. You were merely sharing an opinion.

Jogging passed by faster than it usually did even without music. Evidently, all that was needed to make a run enjoyable was good conversation and an even better view. 

You powered off the treadmill and gradually transitioned to a walk and then a full stop. A single bead of sweat trailed down the side of your face but before you could wipe it away, only to stumble after being patted on the back by Caleb. 

Those muscles were not just for show.

You had mixed feelings about him giving you props for completing the warm up. On one hand, you were a little insulted because even you could handle jogging for ten minutes. On the other, it was nice to have him flatter you. And he seemed to type to mean his compliments.

“Thanks,” you said almost like a question as you plopped down to stretch.

“Really,” he insisted. There wasn’t any level of patronizing tone that you could detect. “You’d be surprised by how many people I work with that complain about running.”

“Really?” you exclaimed with surprise. “I wouldn’t say I love running but it’s not terrible. Better than swimming anyway.”

“Whoa, now. I’ll have you know that I was a big swimmer in high school.”

The friendly banter about the woes, or in his case, the highs of swimming got you through the stretches he showed you. Occasionally, there would be a pause while he corrected your posture but once you fixed your position, the banter started up again.  

Finally, you conceded, “I will admit that swimming did wonders for your shoulders though.”

He looked away with a bow of his head. He smiled but it was closed lipped, no teeth on display. Oops. That comment may have been a bit too forward. Rather than draw more attention to it, you diverted attention to the actual work out.

Seeming to be of the same mind, Caleb dropped it, too, and set you up at a weight bench. He must’ve have seen the doubt on your face.

“Don’t worry,” he assured. “I’m not going to have you squatting 300 pounds or anything crazy. Here. Take this and we’ll start with some dumb bell rows.”

He handed you a twenty-pound weight, the smooth metal cool against your palm. The weight was noticeable but not so heavy you struggled to hold it. A month or two of this and your arms would actually tone out pretty nice.

You peered subtly at Caleb behind you. You wouldn’t be at Caleb’s level, not just after a couple weeks but then again, you doubted most people could measure up to him even after working out everyday for a year straight.

Someone people had all the good genes.

You could’ve complained but found it much more enjoyable to appreciate the good view. In fact, it was the view that got you through the rest of the season.

“Thanks,” you panted around the mouth of your water bottle. A bead of sweat ran down your neck and you reached to wipe it off.

“You did great, really,” he said, the epitome of what a good trainer should sound like. “The scariest step is always to start so signing up for additional personal training will be a piece of cake.”

“Y-yeah.” Suddenly, your shoe laces fascinated you. “So…if I want to do that—more of this...do I choose you on from that list of trainers?”

“Sure thing. Or if you’d prefer to try someone else, all of the trainers are fantastic choices.”

“I think I’ll stick with you. As long as that’s not weird or anything…”

“Nope, not weird.”

You worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. Swirling irises of molten brown, you couldn’t help but be drawn into them. “Same time next week then?”

“Same time next week,” he agreed with a nod.

***

It had been a little over a month since you had started working with Caleb at the gym and what had started as one personal training session a week had turned into two, sometimes three. Improvement was happening steadily and you definitely felt a difference in your stamina.

Strangely enough, you were even proud of the small callouses that were starting to develop on the tops of your palms, under the fingers. They weren’t classically beautiful but at least you had proof of the work you were doing.

Having worked up the confidence, you’d also started doing some of the exercises Caleb showed you on your own. It was on one such day that you met him.

Another gym babe.

The first thing you noticed was his ass. Literally. He was in prime squat position and his short, though knee length and loose as they may be, could not hide his toned glutes.

You were embarrassed to admit that you were totally ogling him, like a dog looked at a prime cut of meat. You didn’t get star struck often, but damn.

The universe must have sought to punish you for the lack of propriety and your mp3 slipped through your sweaty fingers onto the moving treadmill, yanking the earphones out of your ears along with it as it flew backwards on the conveyor belt.

Recovering from the stumble your mp3 caused, you turned off the machine and gingerly picked out the music player, preparing for the worst.

Miraculously, the screen was still in tact and sounds was still coming through the earphones. You took another sigh of relief when you realized he was preoccupied by his own workout and hadn’t seen your embarrassing moment.

Something similar happened the next time you saw him a few days later: he was cooling down after having thoroughly trounced the heavy bag in the small boxing set-up the gym had. His arms looked so good in his cut-off tank (muscles and veins were all on display) that you froze with your mouth hanging wide open.

Another gym-goer did catch you that time but at least it wasn’t the god sculpted from marble.

You almost felt bad, like you were cheating on one of your crush’s with another which was ridiculous because Caleb was just a trainer and you didn’t even know the other one’s name.

Who knew that so much drama could happen in the confines of a simple neighborhood gym? Seriously, The Bachelor wished it could have as many good options as the gym seemed to.

***

You huffed as you pushed yourself up on increasing shaky arms. For a few seconds, you honestly didn’t think you’d be able to do it as your arms got stuck at a forty-five degree angle. Digging deep down, you managed to fully extend your arms.

“Nine,” Caleb counted. He was kneeling besides you on the yoga mat, counting, and adjusting your form here and there, while you did push-ups

Rather than descend slowly as was proper for push-ups, you collapsed to the mat with your arms squished underneath your chest. Rolled your head, you gave him your best pleading eyes and hoped he might take mercy.

That hope was misplaced. He gave a sympathetic smile and shook his head negatively. “Sorry, Y/N. We agreed on ten and by my count, you still have one more to go.”

“Can I not and say that I did?”

“Come on now. It’s only one more.” He waved his hands around like he was waving imaginary pom-poms. “You can do it!”

You managed a weak laugh. There was no way you could’ve say no. Your arms felt like they were burning but he looked adorable trying to be a cheerleader. An unbidden image of him wearing a cute male cheerleading uniform flashed in your mind and you thought he would pull one off well, what with his wide shoulders and sculpted legs.

Imagination got you through the last push-up and you groaned as you turned over on the mat, spread out like a star fish. “That was absolute torture.”

Caleb opened his mouth but was interrupted by a newcomer.

“Geez, man. You need to take it easier on your clients.”

Recognizing the voice, you found the other gym guy you’d been eyeing standing above you.

“Pogue.” Caleb held his fist out to the man who in turned bumped his with the trainer’s. Evidently, they knew each other.

Then they embraced in a full-on hug.

Okay, so they definitely knew each other. And it was hard to miss the parting caress to Pogue’s shoulders—what kind of name was Pogue anyway?—that was generally reserved for two people that were close.

Were they related? Dating, perhaps?

Your imagination fired up again and you wondered what they would look like wrapped even more intimately with one another…which was entirely despicable, you reminded yourself. There was no proof they were romantically involved, and, even if they were, it was none of your business.

The other two, who had been talking while you were maladaptively fantasizing, had continued talking and their conversation now turned to you.

“So who’s this?” Pogue questioned politely.

“This is Y/N,” Caleb introduce you. “They’re one of the people I work with.”

Pogue stuck his hand out to shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m glad Caleb hasn’t killed you off yet.”

“Hey! I am extremely fair with workouts, aren’t I, Y/N?”

“He is,” you said with a small smile, rocking on your feet. “Besides, he way too nice to ever become a drill sergeant.”

Pogue shoved Caleb lightly and Caleb elbowed him in return. “I know he doesn’t look like the type, but he was quite the drill sergeant back when we were both swimmers. He just hides the competitive instinct under his charming smiles.”

That peaked your curiosity. “No way, you guys swam together back in the day?”

“Spencer Academy was state champs three years running in our time,” Caleb admitted. “But nowadays I do my thing with personal training and Pogue more into MMA.”

“MMA?” you questioned.

“Mixed Martial Arts,” Caleb supplied. “You’ve probably seen him hogging the punching bags in the back.”

You most certainly had but you weren’t about to confess that to either of them. It would be too embarrassing and might even toe the line of harassment.

“You are more than welcome to share bags with me, any time,” Pogue grinned teasingly.

A thought hit and flowed out of your mouth before you could stop it. “You guys should give me a lesson sometime.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you were interested in that sort of thing,” Caleb said, surprise coloring his voice.

“Are you saying that you don’t think I can?” You weren’t sure what made you say it. It’s not like you were hardcore dedicated to trying it. 

Whatever the cause it had Pogue chiming in save the situation.

“What prince charming means is that we would love to give a demonstration sometime.”

Caleb down at his watch because of course he still wore one instead of just using his phone like most other people. “Damn. Our hour is up Y/n and I’m late getting my next client. But we can hit the punching bags next time, if you want…?”

“Sure. Uh. Does Wednesday work for you?”

Both of the men nodded and Caleb called over his shoulder as he jogged to the lobby. “It’s a date. Schedule it online and I’ll approve it.”

The word kept replaying over and over. Date. Date. Date, date, date. He probably didn’t even mean it like that but it didn’t stop your heart from fluttering.

Waving goodbye to Pogue wit a promise of seeing him next week, you bounced off to grab your phone from the locker room. There was nothing wrong with scheduling your next session ASAP.

It’s a date.

_______________

Pogue boxing does make a fetching image. Pogue and Caleb in the ring sparring together even more so. Debating whether to make a part 2. 

Caleb always seems to be the hardest for me to write so I hope he sounded okay in this. This has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I decided to finally post it. 

Thanks for reading! 

[langdxn]

OMGGG PLEASE WRITE FOR STAN ✨✨🖤🖤

well if you insist...

off the record | stan bowes x reporter!reader

WARNINGS: pretty graphic smut, fingering, vaginal sex, pet names errywhere, trump mentions, dom!stan

WORDS: 2.9k (excessive but necessary)

A/N: 110% not proofread yet so apologies for any errors which i’ll fix tomorrow.

The hustle and bustle of 5th Avenue spared Stan the embarrassment of leaving a torturous meeting at work. Tumbling out into the chaos of the New York streets offered him the anonymity he craved after a confrontation with Matt, the ability to blend in amongst the faces that couldn’t recognise him from the next suited, briefcase-toting businessman.

Bursting out of the doors to Trump Towers, Stan dropped his briefcase and rinsed his face with both hands, pressing his fingers to his eyes in a vain attempt to wipe away the day he’d just had. In that moment, no eyes were trained on him, no pressure on his shoulders, no demands of his time.

That is, until a sugary voice broke the crowd’s monotonous buzz.

“Trouble in economic paradise, honey?”

Stan’s hands dropped to his side as he searched for the source of his interruption, eyes intently scanning the street until they fell upon you, leaning against the building’s opulent marble pillars at the entrance.

“Sorta,” he mumbled under his breath, a grimace gently tapering his lips as he gazed down at his shoes. In an attempt to avoid your attentions, he trained his sights on a particularly worn paving slab. His distraction worked right up until your heels clacked toward him and planted right on his slab, the smoke from your cigarette swirling in his peripheral vision — there was no avoiding you, no matter how hard he tried. Stan’s head raised to meet your gaze, his deep brown eyes betraying a sadness and insecurity he may never put into words.

“I hear Mr Trump can be a harsh master,” you goaded your victim into spilling his guts, taking a deep puff of your cigarette before blowing it back to hover over his brown curls like a makeshift halo.

“I... I wouldn’t know, I barely see him,” Stan confessed, grabbing his suitcase and nodded toward the street. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Miss.”

Time for drastic action. The brunette stepped toward the street, ready to dismiss this exchange and continue his day.

“I smoke out here to drive your boss up the wall, you know,” you called after him, booming over the hubbub on 5th Avenue. “Admittedly he doesn’t come out much, but that jerk-off on the 41st floor certainly reads me for dirt every Friday night. What’s his name, Matt Bromley?”

Stan stopped in his tracks.

“Oh, so you know him too?” You pressed, pacing toward him with a staccato clack of your heels.

“He’s my superior, or at least he pretends to be,” Stan turned to face you, that same pained smirk dancing across his cheeks as his voice cracked between sentences. “Be careful around him, yeah? He’s not exactly one of the nice guys.”

“You’re telling me,” you scoffed, taking another swift drag while tipping your head to the side. “Luckily if he laid a finger on me, I’d put it front page of the Post and he’d never work in this overpriced dump again.”

“You’re a reporter?” Stan’s eyebrows quirked, intrigued but nonetheless concerned. Should he even be talking to a reporter like this? Will every word that passes his lips end up on tomorrow’s front page? He shook his head to dismiss any suspicious thoughts, he certainly didn’t have the headspace for that yet.

“For now,” you admitted with a pout and an eye-roll. “Your asshole ‘superior’ tries to rectify that on a regular basis. Keeps telling my boss I’m soliciting outside Trump Tower instead of reporting. Always digging through my personal life and not coming up with so much as an overdue rental VHS. Someday my editor will believe him, but I’m on my last warning as it is.”

“Seriously?” Stan’s smirk grew more sympathetic with the realisation one more life was being wrecked by the man he had the misfortune of sharing a floor with. “That’s pretty crazy.”

“That’s Manhattan, honey,” you smiled warmly at him. “Don’t worry, I’m not doorstepping you, I just happened to be here on a tip-off.”

“A tip-off? What sort of—.”

Stan cut himself off on hearing the approach of a familiar obnoxious voice on a cell phone booming in the golden foyer behind your exchange.

“Shit, that’s Bromley,” Stan panicked, suddenly grasping your arm and leading you away from the door, casting your half-smoked cigarette to the kerb. “Let’s get you outta here.”

“My nameless knight in shining armour,” you chuckled to yourself, somehow instincively following his lead on the street until you merged with the throngs of passers-by. “Where are we going, sweetie?”

“My name’s Stan Bowes, and I have absolutely no idea where we’re going.”

———

“You don’t look like a Stan,” you mused at the businessman seated across the table from you, tapping your chin with a finger as you contemplated alternative monikers. “More like a... Colin? Peter? Yeah, you’re a Peter—.”

“Can we just... rewind here?” Stan interrupted, eyes darting frantically at your surroundings, scanning the faces at the other tables. “D’ya mind explaining to me why we’re in a Five Guys right now?”

“You’ll thank me later, toots,” you quickly dismissed his objection as you swirled your soda cup in your other hand. “You think your psycho friend from the 41st floor’s gonna look for you in a diner? He’ll go straight to the Plaza... or even Indochine. Never a Five Guys. Plus, I needed somewhere I can afford to pay the bill so the Trump Organisation expense account doesn’t feel the burn.”

A wordless nod and raised eyebrow from your company suggested his silent approval, but his hands idly toying with the burger before him betrayed his confidence in your genius escape plan. Folding the lettuce edging out from beneath the bun, tugging at the rings of onion and nervously picking the sesame seeds from the top.

“You never told me what your tip-off was. What were you doing outside my work?” Stan raised his manhandled burger to his mouth, daring to undo all the strategic dismantling he’d just put into action.

“Somebody told the office that the blonde egomaniac at the top of your food chain is planning to run for president.”

Stan nearly choked on his first bite, resisting the temptation to spit it out in shock. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“‘Fraid not.”

“That... that can’t be true, he’s too busy with the plans to buy the Plaza two blocks away.”

“The Plaza?!” Your inquisitive voice changed pitch.

“Yeah, didn’t you know?” Stan screwed up his face. “Wait— you’re not gonna print this, are you?”

“I’m not here to rat you out,” You raised both surrendering hands in the space between you. “See? No notebook, no tape recorder, no agenda. It’s just me and you, baby.”

The brown haired man smiled warmly, visibly releasing the tension in his shoulders, comforted that he wasn’t being examined.

“So if you’re not here for business, why is a beautiful girl like you talking to me? I’m nothing special, I’m just a guy in an overpriced suit.”

Caving into the temptation to look him up and down, your gaze wandered to Stan’s hands, gently trembling as he held his burger.

“Because I like you, Peter,” you grinned at the sound of your company’s new moniker. “You and that suit. But you’re so much more than that suit, you know.”

“Eh, I’m not so sure about that. Matt doesn’t seem to think so either.”

“Screw what Bromley the office bully thinks,” you slammed the table with your palm. “This is about you. The guy who stopped to talk to a girl who looked like she was hustling outside your building, the guy who’s not afraid to sit in a diner with a total stranger to save her from his coworker. Face it, Peter, you’re one of the good guys.”

His lips tapered into a warm smile. “Thank you, miss, for not jumping to conclusions about me.”

“Don’t get me wrong, the pinstripes suit you. They’d look better on my floor, but...”

Stan immediately looked up from his food to your eyes, scanning for any sign of humour or any chance you were just trying to make him feel better.

“Did you just—?”

“I think I did!” You giggled, a hint of disbelief in your own words. “Is that a problem?”

Frozen in the moment, Stan just stared at you for a minute. His next move was exhilaratingly unpredictable, leaving your heart rate thundering in your ears, but something about the shimmer in his eyes suggested you wouldn’t have to worry.

“Peter, what’s wrong, did I—?”

You were cut off by Stan’s lips crashing into yours, lunging over the table and hooking a hand around your neck to draw you in. His kiss deepened with every second, dipping his nose into your cheek and moaning softly into your mouth. As you parted, his ear-to-ear grin beamed back to mirror yours.

“Yuppies don’t kiss like that,” you joked.

“You should see me in the bedroom,” he retorted with a laugh.

“Deal.”

———

Hollywood movies were right about one thing: sex in the throes of passion often starts in the same way — bundling through your lover’s uptown hotel room with your legs wrapped around his waist while he juggles his keycard, both peppering sloppy open-mouthed kisses and showering each other with distracted affection until he drops you onto the satin sheets.

Stan, courteous as ever, gently placed you on the sprawling bed without his lips leaving yours, crawling between your thighs before thinking how to undress himself. With both his hands preoccupied passionately lacing into your hair, you grasped at the hem of your dress to take it off yourself.

“Hold on, princess,” he muttered into your mouth, immediately untangling a hand to trace down your figure and met your attempts to hitch your skirt. “Let me strip you.”

Stan thumbed at the edge of the fabric, savouring the moment before you became so much more than a beautiful stranger to him, before slowly rolling your dress up, passing your neck and whipping it over your head to limit the time before he could kiss you again.

“Peter, are you sure about this?” You queried out of respect while casting aside his evidently expensive belt, tearing his braces from his shoulders and laying waste to his shirt buttons.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” he hummed against your lips between hot and ragged breaths. “And my name’s not fucking Peter.”

Stan made light work of yanking your panties down to your knees around him, unhooking them from one leg for quicker access and throwing the bundle of lace across the room, soon followed by your bra. In the blur of clothes flying, you tackled his suit pants down to his knees and slipped his silk boxers to join them. The less you thought about those silk boxers, the better.

With no clothes left between you, Stan pressed his bare chest against yours, his heart racing so fast it could burst out of his rib cage.

A needy groan erupted in his throat as he tore his lips away from yours, journeying to pepper heated kisses down your throat, sucking gently as his lips reached your collarbone and followed south to your breasts. While his tongue expertly swirled around one nipple, his hand travelled to the other and kneaded hungrily, gently rolling the hardening bud between his thumb and forefinger.

Your soft moan as he sucked harder gave him the signal to trail his fingers down your frame, his palm traversing the plane of your hips before he reached your exposed clit, tracing lazy circles around your bundle of nerves. Your back arched wildly into his touch, reaching a hand to wind into his brown curls when your helpless, urgent moans grew in volume.

“Don’t worry baby girl, I won’t leave you hanging much longer,” Stan whispered through a satisfied smile against your breast. “I just need to taste you first.”

His circling finger journeyed south to track around your folds, swollen and pulsing in anticipation of his next move. Slowly dipping the tip of his finger through your soaking entrance, your hips bucked upwards and instinctively widened your legs beneath him.

“That’s my good girl, spread yourself wide for me.” Stan’s eyelids fluttered excitedly, adding another finger inside your aching cunt and hooking both to graze your soft walls. His lips left your nipple so he could gaze at your form writhing beneath him, completely at his mercy.

His curled fingers pressed urgently into your walls, building an uncontrollable pressure within you and forcing your eyes to roll to the ceiling. Stan noticed you nearing ecstasy and immediately withdrew his dripping fingers, raising them to his lips and pressing them to his tongue.

“I knew you’d taste like heaven,” he cooed gently, lifting up to dip his head into your neck placing searing hot kisses beneath your ear. “Cat got your tongue, Miss New York Post?”

“I... I...,” you stuttered weakly, your whole body alight with waves of heat and anticipation you’d never felt before. “I...”

“You’re not usually this quiet,” Stan whispered. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“I... need... you...”

He hummed contentedly, trailing his hand south to line the head of his cock with your throbbing entrance.

“What’s that, princess? You want me to fuck you?” Stan questioned with false innocence, a devious smirk plumping his cheeks. “You’ve been such a good girl waiting for me, I think you’ve earned it.”

In one smooth rock of his hips, Stan’s length slipped through your folds and bottomed out inside you. Your eyes journeyed to the ceiling as he filled you, spine arching recklessly craving more friction. He drew his hips back slowly, but his next thrust slammed his cock inside you so hard, you let out a hollow gasp.

“I know baby, I know,” Stan comforted you, curling his hips to ensure every thrust brushed the tip of his length against your deepest points and revelling in your squirms under him. “You’re taking me so well.”

Lost for words in the stars emerging in the corners of your eyes, you remained speechless as Stan broke down every single one of your weaknesses and turned you into putty in his hands. Jerking uncontrollably and sinking your head back into the pillow with every devastating thrust, Stan kissed your exposed neck and moaned deeply. Seizing his opportunity, both hands flew to lightly grasp your throat, his thumbs calmly resting on your windpipe — his aim wasn’t to choke you, just to hold onto you enough to assert his ownership of you, claiming you as you writhed beneath him. He leaned back to admire his work of unravelling you, possessing you.

“Look at you,” he hummed through a grin, not missing a single beat of his determined thrusts. “You’re so, so beautiful.”

Chasing you to your height of ecstasy once more, Stan’s staccato rhythm jackhammered into you at the same rate as the tremors consuming your body beneath his. Your vision of his bouncing brown curls above you started to fade behind the glittering haze taking over your mind. Fighting for consciousness, you stuttered a hollow cry for release as you approached your climax.

“Stan, I— I need to... I’m gonna cu—.”

“It’s okay baby, I’ve got you,” Stan reassured, wrapping an arm around your neck and pulling you into his chest as his hips grew frantic and sloppy. “Let go for me.”

With a deep growl and a final erratic thrust, Stan spilled against your walls, flooding warmth inside you that sent your head dipping into the pillows. His lips gently pecked your throat again as he poured his length back to the depths of your pussy, pushing his load as far inside you as possible.

Emerging from the depths of the pillow as you regained control of your legs wrapped around his waist, Stan slowly drew his hips back and slipped his length out from your swollen folds, his gaze dropping to your entrance as if making sure his cum wouldn’t drip out. Content that he hadn’t left any suspicious stains on the hotel sheets, Stan returned to gaze into your eyes and beamed from ear to ear.

“You... you called me Stan?” He quizzed while tumbling down to the pillow beside you, a puzzled eyebrow quirking beneath beads of sweat.

“You called me princess,” you retaliated with a joking tap of his chest. “I think we’re equal here, don’t you?”

Stan chuckled to himself and turned to face you, propping his head up with an exhausted, trembling hand. A palpable silence fell as he composed his next sentence.

“Was this, er... would you... can you...,” He stumbled nervously over his words; his assertive alter ego must have left as soon as he came.

“Cat got your tongue, Mr Trump Organi—“

“Stay.”

Your gaze dropped to your chest as you laughed it off. “As much as I’d love to, I got the feeling this was just a one-off for you?”

“That’s what I thought you wanted, too,” Stan confirmed with a quirked eyebrow.

Chuckling to yourself, you shook your head to dismiss all the worries that the dapper businessman would make you do the walk of shame once he’d finished.

“Then I’ll stay, sugar,” you beamed, settling into Stan’s chest as he scooped his arm beneath your head.

“We’ll get room service to dry clean your dress and I’ll drive you to work in the morning, if that’s okay?” Stan’s courteous streak had definitely returned.

You smiled broadly, nodding against Stan’s chest and swooping an arm around his waist.

“Besides, now you can tell me all about that presidential tip-off you had,” he quizzed. “Trump may be an extremely powerful guy, but he’s never gonna be president…”

[retrogalwrites]

Hawks/Takami Keigo x  catgirl!reader

Title: “Canary killed the cat” / view on ao3

Summary: Hawks takes a stray cat home with him. Yes, that cat is you.

warnings: dubcon, yandere hawks, misogyny, manipulation, dehumanization, literal pet play, kidnapping/abduction, mommy issues, softness but in all the wrong ways

words: 1800

He found you shivering behind a dumpster in an alley, it took him less than five minutes to track you down.

A pair of feline ears stood above your head, pointing backwards in sign of pure fright, they were the color of your hair. You stared at him with wide eyes and bared teeth, hands desperately clutching the stolen bread against your chest so hard it had become mostly wasted crumbs scattered on the ground. You pleaded, you hissed, shaking like you were going to crumble as well.

"Let me go, let me go, let me go!!!"

"Wish I could, but as you must know, stealing is a very bad thing to do, sweetheart..." He spoke casually and condescendingly, of course, someone who did not really believe in the very things he preached.

"I know...I know, I just..." You had started to cry. "I was so hungry, please, let me go..."

It was a pathetic sight, but not one Keigo hadn't already seen far too many times to count. There are people like you everywhere, he grew up with people like you, and they always end up in the same place.

It shouldn't have made a difference, you shouldn't have made a difference. But when he approached your struggling form pinned to a bricked wall by feathers, Keigo couldn't help the curiosity that made him peer at your face.

 It was the curiosity that killed the cat.

"Oh?" He sounded surprised, because he was. "You are cute."

"...w-what?"

Crouching down next to you, he forcefully grabbed you by the jaw to turn your head to the side, inspecting you from different angles with a gaze of morbid curiosity.

Indeed, you were cute, extremely cute. Perhaps too cute for your own good. Was it something in your eyes? Your features? He wasn't sure, and that only intrigued him more.

Of course, you were a disheveled mess, all rags, dirt smeared on your face and bruised limbs, surely from a life living more like animal than a woman in a society that had no place for the outcasts. No, you were nothing like those women he was used to, perfect beauties and bimbos born into wealth and acceptance, instead you were just a pitiful looking thing.

And yet...you were so cute, despite of that. Or maybe because of it.

"W-What are you going to do to me?"

Keigo smiled at you, he had already made up his mind on that matter.

"What's your name?" He asked instead, purposely ignoring your question. Confused and frightened, you hesitated before answering.

His smile grew wider, feathers ruffling behind his back.

———————

After taking you home, the first thing he did was getting you clean.

It pleased him greatly, how you didn't put up a fight even when he ordered you to take off your rags for clothes while he prepared a warm bath for two. Perhaps you were too exhausted, maybe too afraid, or maybe it had just been that long since you were given the most basic care that, even in a situation like this, the prospect of a bath was too good not to submit to it.

"Wh...why are you doing this?" You asked meekly, as you undressed in his bathroom, under his gaze. "Are heroes even supposed to...?"

"Shhh. Don't worry your little head about that, let's just get you cleaned, alright sweetheart?"

He spoke amiably, but his eyes openly leered at the curvature of your hips, the ripe swell of your breasts and that pretty pussy covered by a patch of pubic hair (most women trim and shave these days, a shame, he preferred the natural look).

While you submerged yourself in the tub with him, Keigo eagerly scrubbed your body off all the grime and dirt. His hands eagerly explored your body, testing the softness and the suppleness of your flesh by groping it. He was hard the entire time, watching your skin become clean and soft filled him with certain satisfaction that had his cock begging for attention, wishing to be buried deep in the warmth of your tight heat, but he had to control himself for the time being.

If you noticed his erection poking at your backside, you didn't say anything, and Keigo liked that in a woman.

Keigo liked you.

———————

It was not like you had a home to return to, nor people waiting for you anywhere, right? There was nothing technically wrong with taking something that didn't belong to anyone, and he loved living on technicalities.

That's right, taking a little stray cat home should've been fine.

Even if you tried to claw your way away after the first day, when you realized he had no intentions on letting you go back to the streets.

"You should be grateful, don't you think?" He spoke bemused by the sight of you, curled into a ball with your tail wrapped around your body, it was cute. "You don't have to live like a stray anymore."

"B-But I'm a person, this is wrong...you just can't..."

"When was the last time anyone treated you like a person?"

Your silence in that moment sounded like the beginning of your acceptance. The despair on your face reminded him of something, or rather someone...that despair looked a lot like his mother's eyes.

He didn't want to see that look on your face.

———————

Keigo simply locked you in a room for a few days after that, waited until you calmed down, he figured that you just needed to get familiar with your new home, he knew that he had to be patient when it comes to adopting a new pet. He brought you presents everyday for a week, all the luxuries girls love and that he knew for a fact you never had known about: expensive clothes (tailored to his tastes), plushes, shoes, perfumes, chocolates and candy of all types.

When he found you nibbling on candy, curled up on a giant teddy bear, he knew that it was just a matter of time before you were seduced by the opportunity of living a comfortable life.

————————

Pretty girls had been more like a given commodity for most of his life, from A to Z he had fucked most beauties out there with a big enough names that many would been jealous of his body count, but Keigo was never one to really fawn over any of them before, he couldn't even remember the faces of more than half of them either.

But in that moment, having you nestled between his legs trying to fit his cock into your pretty mouth until your nose was buried in his pubes, Keigo felt like he was with the cutest thing in the entire fucking world, and the shit-eating grin plastered on his face showed it. You were just too adorable, trying so earnestly not to choke on the size of his fully erect length, the head already poking at the back of your throat and he hadn't even started moving yet.

"Good girl, you're doing it so well."

He flicked one of your ears with his index finger, it twitched.

Purring loudly, you tried bobbing your head as you nursed on his cock, drooling all over it in the process. It felt good, better than good, and Keigo was overcome with how beautiful you looked in that moment, and how no one would've looked at you twice before he found you.

As your mouth worked on his cock, one of your hands massaged his balls, he didn't even had to tell you to, a sign you had learned well. Soon enough he felt that pleasure getting dangerously close to reaching climax, and he made you stop. You whined, a disappointed sound being pushed away as his cock slipped out of your mouth, a trail of saliva still connecting his the head to your swollen lips.

"Don't pout at me like that, today I feel like filling you up, pussycat." He chuckled, he large palm petting the top of your head, which you were quickly nuzzling against. "Get on the bed."

Well trained as you were, you climbed onto the mattress quickly getting on all fours, and Keigo was quick to follow. Grabbing you by the hips, he pulled your round ass against his erection, your fluffy tail stood up in the air vibrating with anticipation as strong fingers   pulling at your soaked pussy lips to expose your tight little hole to his hungry gaze. Purring, your back arched when Keigo slowly buried his cock into your cunt, he felt your fleshy walls stretching around him, shaping around him to his shape and girth, until he was balls deep inside.

You moaned, tightening around him with a vice grip that could've made him cum a little too soon.

"M-Master...master...please...."

"What a dirty girl, begging for cock like a whore." And he made you into that, he couldn't have been more proud. Getting you to call him your master took a little while, but damn had it been worth the wait.

Keigo started moving, thrusting his hips and pulling his cock half-way out of you before slamming back in. He watched how your cunt swallowed him hole with ease, the ripples on your ass when his hand came down to slap one of your cheeks, making you mewl like the animal you had accepted to be.

Kaigo threw his had back when he felt that climax brewing all over again, before his thrusts came to a halt as he held your hips in place. He spilled his hot cum right into you, the little entrance of your womb sucking the semen straight from his cock like your body was begging to be stuffed with it.

He pulled out his softening cock, a trail of cum dribbling down your thighs and onto the sheets. You never stopped purring.

————————

Keigo returned from his patrol to find you looking out of the large glass window of his bedroom. He petted your head as he approached you from behind.

"You don't miss it out there, do you?" He asked, you shook your head. Of course he knew you didn't, otherwise Keigo wouldn't allow you to approach the windows on first place.

He pulled out a rectangular box from his pocket, watched with delight the way your curious eyes stared at it, already knowing it had to be a gift for you. Keigo chuckled, you were getting very spoiled, he thought for a second, but only a second.

"I thought it was about time I got you one of these." He opened the box to reveal a pet collar with a tag showing your name engraved. "What do you think?"

The smile on your face was the sort of look he always wanted to see on it.

[icefire149]

30! Deancas, its cold so cas insists on a scarf instead of his tie

Char I'm so sorry this took a million years to write. Work and life kept me extremely busy, and then this lovely fic kept going in a different direction (which seems like a theme in every prompt I tackled). I really hope you enjoy this one, and have a lovely day :D

#30 - I love you mumbled into a scarf

Dean had his head buried so deep in thought about the impala’s winter maintenance that he almost missed the familiar foot steps breezing past in the garage. His eyebrows pressed together as he pulled his head out of the car. “Cas, buddy, where are you going?”

Cas stopped dead in his tracks, and turned on his heels. “Oh, Dean.” His gaze nervously glanced around the garage. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Are you okay?” Dean leaned against the side of the impala now, and crossed his arms. “You look kinda spooked.”

Cas’ gaze flitted around the car. “Do you happen to have Jack with you?”

“Nah,” Dean answered, scratching the back of his neck. “He went on a grocery run with Sam about a half hour ago.”

“Oh,” Cas exhaled, and visibly relaxed some. “That’s good. He’ll enjoy that greatly.”

“Did you need him?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“No.”

Dean walked around the car and stopped closer to Cas. “I’m gonna need more than that. What’s up?”

“I need to go Christmas shopping.”

Shaking his head slowly, Dean blinked. “Are….are we celebrating Christmas this year?”

“I’d like to,” Castiel confessed. “I know you and Sam have your own traditions and this is your home, but I’d like to give Jack his first Christmas since….last year he wasn’t here.”

“Oh.” The word tumbled out of Dean’s mouth. He was going to need time to process every verbal hit Cas pummeled him with. In a daze, he pointed at the impala with his thumb. “Do you want a ride?”

“Yes. Yes, of course,” Cas answered genuinely surprised. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He was still sorting Cas’ words when he found himself opening the impala’s door.

The angel slid into the front passenger seat, and they were off in the direction of the nearest shopping mall. It wasn’t until they hit their second red light that something finally clicked into place in his brain. “Is that why you tend to disappear around the holidays?” Turning, he kept his eyes on Cas long enough to see the twist in his expression.

“Maintaining customs, holiday traditions in this case are incredibly important to humans. I didn’t want to overstep or interfere.”

“You do realize I leave probably a dozen voice mails the closer it gets to Christmas, right?”

“Yeah, it’s quite irritating having my phone going off so often when I’m trying not to take from your time with Sam.”

“Cas,” Dean said exasperatedly. His fingers tightened on the steering wheel, but the blaring honk of the car behind him momentarily cut off his train of thought. When traffic settled so did Dean, “I already get enough of Sammy, and I’m sure he’s more than sick of me too, especially around the holidays.”

“Oh.”

“And yeah, I’ve been wanting you to join us….since forever. Seriously.”

“I’m sorry.”

There was a pained tone in his voice that startled Dean down to his core. He shivered involuntarily. Glancing over at Cas, he saw that the angel had his eyes glued out the window. It bothered Dean not being able to pin down what was bothering Cas. It felt like so much more was hidden in that apology.

Turning back to the road, Dean reached a hand out blindly until it connected with the sleeve of Cas’ coat. “There’s nothing to be that upset about, your heart was in the right place.”

Cas didn’t respond, and Dean didn’t loosen his grip. Instead, he tightened it, but spoke with a note of levity. “And how many times do I gotta tell you that the bunker is your home too?”

“Once more, perhaps?”

Dean could feel the constriction in his chest loosen at the faint smile he could hear in Cas’ voice. He shook his head. “Giving Jack a real first Christmas is a great idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it months ago.”

“I think we’ve all been a bit too preoccupied.”

“Yeah.” Dean withdrew his hand and turned the car down the nearest exit. “You’re not wrong.” Basically since Jack was born they’ve been non-stop busy. The past few months in particular were miserable, for all of them.

“I know things aren’t one hundred percent safe with Michael still out there,” Cas started. “But I’m glad that you’ll be home for Christmas. I fear I would’ve ruined Jack’s holiday if you weren’t here.”

“Nah,” Dean argued, feeling his eyebrows pinch together. “My presence shouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

“Dean.” He could feel the angel’s stare sliding under his skin. “I left Jack with Sam so I could chase every whisper, blade, bullet, and trap that might lead to you. And from what I’ve gathered, Sam did much of the same passing Jack off on whoever was willing to keep an eye on him. That wasn’t fair to him, and I’m not proud of my behavior.”

“Hey,” Dean tried cutting through Cas’ frustration with himself. “You had no idea what Sam was gonna do.”

“Jack was never meant to be Sam’s responsibility. I-”

“You did the best you could at the time.” Cas didn’t answer, and Dean couldn’t risk taking his eyes off of traffic in that moment. “I mean it, and besides we’re well past that tunnel now. And we’re gonna give Jack a real Christmas.”

“Thank you.”

Dean hummed in response, and spotted what he was looking for: the sign for the mall. “Don’t tell Sammy, but-” He glanced at Cas’ curious expression. “since we found the bunker, I’ve always wanted to make it look like Christmas threw up all over the place.”

And to Dean’s genuine surprise, Cas laughed. It was happy and light, and when Dean turned for a heartbeat, the image of Cas with his head tilted back was branded into his memory. The corner of his mouth curled into a grin. “After growing up watching every Christmas special imaginable as a replacement for actually celebrating the holiday normally...I think it’s like making up for lost time if we go overboard.”

Another hearty laugh rocked Cas. “Makes logical sense to me.”

“Besides the kid will get a massive kick out of it.”

“I hope so,” Cas muttered, as the car came to a stop in the parking space.

“Oh trust me, he will,” Dean said throwing an arm behind the back of his seat and turning to face the angel. “Soooo….where to first?”

Cas observed their surroundings before letting his stare rest on Dean. “I’m not sure.”

“Well we can just check out whichever store is closest and work our way around. Sound good?”

“Yes,” Cas smiled softly.

Dean’s hand rested on the door handle, but the movement next to him made him pause. He watched Cas dig a hand into his jacket pockets until he pulled out a long, dark blue scarf. “Traded the tie out for a new accessory?”

The angel snapped his hands to his chest in order to hold the scarf tightly. “It’s new,” he said defensively.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Dean grinned. “Did you go out of your way to buy something the same exact shade as your favorite tie?”

Cas’ eyes trailed down to the fabric between his fingers. “Maybe,” he answered after a short, meditative pause.

“It’s nice,” Dean said pushing his door open. “I was wondering where the tie was today.” He got out of the car and Cas quickly followed him on the other side.

Cas hooked the scarf behind his neck. “It felt redundant.” His expression quickly twisted in frustration as his hands failed to wrap the scarf in a way that would be comfortable.

“Need some help, buddy?”

The angel’s gaze pierced him like a knife, but that didn’t stop Dean from circling around the impala to stop directly in front of Cas. He held his hands out. “Just let….”

Cas’ hands fell to his sides, and the frustration slowly smoothed out of his face. His gaze locked onto Dean’s.

“-me help.” Dean started wrapping the scarf properly so Cas could duck the lower half of his face out of the chilly, winter air whenever he wanted.

There was something magnetic in Cas’ demeanor. As it circled and grew in his eyes, it filled Dean with a soft warmth that drew him a step closer. His skin burned, but on his brother’s life he couldn’t remember in that moment why he would normally never let himself get this close.

Dean could feel the puffs of Cas’ breath caressing his face, sending goosebumps across every inch of his skin. Despite this, he reached forward and finished laying and puffing the scarf up.

The apples of the angel’s cheek’s appeared pinker when Dean’s gaze slid up from the blue fabric that was still caught between his fingers. Cas’ bottom lip twitched for a second, and then he sunk his face into the scarf.

Thoughts slid back into Dean’s head. Louder than ever. The tips of his fingers clung a little tighter to the scarf. This feeling wasn’t new. Everything that had to do with Castiel, it was like a Gordian Knot. There was too much to sort and untangle. The fragile thing they had was too important to him to destroy completely. The solution was simple and staring him in the face, but he’d been teetering on that decision for a decade now.

Before he could move, a simple vibration resounded up his fingertips. And before Dean could ask what the angel had said, Cas broke the moment.

His hands slowly and shakily unhooked Dean’s grip, lowering them. The scarf slid down Cas’ face as he momentarily glanced around the parking lot. Dean quickly forgot about the brief indescribable look in the angel’s stare, when a glimpse of Cas’ teeth caught his eye.

The tension eased in Cas’ shoulders. He released Dean’s hands with a widening smile. “Let’s go. I’m not sure what would be suitable for a Christmas tree. Any ideas?”

“Yeah,” Dean grinned, losing himself in this new moment. “We’ll have to go elsewhere and grab your truck, but I have several ideas.”

The prompt was from this list. I'm not expecting any more prompts from this one, but if there's one you really want me to try please ask! (and specify the prompt list).

[ghostdrew22]

Déjà  vu? || Draco Malfoy

Requested: No Pairing: Draco Malfoy x ex!fem!reader Warnings: Idk if this is angsty or not because I initially thought it was but it feels a bit like soft sadness to me? Summary: Y/N getting deja vu as you watch Draco with his new girlfriend (H/N - her name)

WORDS : 1950

Lyrics from “Deja Vu” by Olivia Rodrigo (but I got lazy and only used certain parts)

~~~

Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two And tradin' jackets Laughin’ 'bout how small it looks on you (Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha)

“Draco stop!” A voice exclaims before being followed by laughter. You know that you shouldn’t turn around, that it’ll hurt too much, but it’s been said many times that curiosity killed the cat.

He’s holding the very same ice cream order, strawberry and pistachio, and sporting that familiar warm smile that used to comfort you when you got a brain freeze from the ice cream. It had been your idea, ice cream in November, and he’d hated it at first but grew to love it just because it made you happy. That very same order that you’d made him try, strawberry and pistachio, but not for the two of you this time.

It’s difficult to know what you were expecting, something new? Different? A part of you had always known, even while you were the one in H/N’s position, that your moments with Draco would soon be documented and used for a modern remake. If your relationship had been a book, theirs is the movie adaption. If your relationship had been a song, theirs is a cover band’s rendition. Maybe, deep down, you were expecting just this- to see him treating her the same way that he’d treated you.

Those pale hands, that used to fit so comfortably in the expanse of your own, are now tucked safely in-between hers. Oceans of blue that used to run over your shivering figure every November when you made this exact Hogsmeade trip, are now tracing the lines of her face and committing them to memory. Lips, cold and slightly chapped, that were once coaxing laughter from your lungs with horrible puns and crude observations, are now completely and utterly consumed with the sole objective of entertaining her the very same way that they entertained you.

It’s a bitter sight, one would think, but you can’t bring yourself to be jealous. It’s an odd sort of feeling, deja vu, to know that once this moment belonged to you, and now you have to watch it play out in front of you. You know what’s going to happen, down to the footprints that’ll stain the path back to Hogwarts, but this time it’s not you. This time, even though you know what’s going to happen next, it’s not your laughter that’ll be filling the silence as he walks back to school.

Watching reruns of Glee Bein’ annoying, singin’ in harmony I bet she’s bragging to all her friends, saying you’re so unique, hmm

“Draco’s obsessed with this muggle show called Glee. He makes me sing along with him every time we watch it.” She says with a small laugh and a shy smile.

Why, in God’s name, did you decide to study in the library today? Sitting on the other side of the bookshelf behind you, with Millicent Bulstrode, is H/N.

“That’s horrendous.” Millicent replies with a laugh. Maybe if you’d tried harder to be friends with her then she would’ve told H/N that Draco used to do that with you too, that you’re the one who introduced him to muggle tv shows in the first place.

“It’s cute, he’s so… different.”

You swallow hard and try to pour your focus back into your books. That tone, sweet and infatuated, was the tone you used only months before when you spoke about him too. Once again you’re on the other side of the looking glass, staring back at a distorted reflection of yourself. It had been you bragging, drowning quite innocently in your adoration for him and feeling the need to sing your praises out to the world.

Way back when, you were the one forcing him to learn the lyrics to all of your favourite songs. The two of you would lose track of time singing along with the actors and complaining about the unnecessary drama, it was this little world that the two of you created. But now that world, that you built on love and trust, can no longer afford to accommodate you both. Now it’s his world with her.

Without even realising it you start to wonder how it must be when he’s with her. Does she sing off-key too? Does he pepper her with kisses after and make fun of her singing? Do they binge watch episodes or only do one at a time? Does his laugh still drown out the talking whenever something ridiculous happens? Is his favourite character still Sue?

How many pieces of your time together did he take from the puzzle, to form a new one with her?

So when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? She thinks it's special, but it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you

“This alcove is where I come when I want to be alone, no one really comes here.”

No one but me, you think to yourself as you stop in the hallway and overhear Draco whispering to her. Of course he took her to your alcove, why wouldn’t he?

A part of you wishes that he’d tell her that it was you who found this spot, that it was you who’d trudged along the castle one night in a desperate search for some peace and quiet. You want her to know that this was your safe space, that you were the one who invited him there and allowed him to relish in the safety that it provided. It was you who laced your fingers together with his own and dragged him behind you until you’d landed in the spot, you who had to listen to his complaints about how small and cramped it was until he finally got comfortable and fell in love with it. You were the one he used to wrap his arms around and make promises to in the silence of the night, when nothing beside the two of you existed in that alcove.

It’s all blurring together, then and now are nothing but two sides of the same rusted coin. How can you possibly distinguish between your memories and reality when the boundaries keep crossing?

You almost want to laugh at how identical your relationship was to the one they have now. Jokes that you came up with in the sludge of sleepiness, when the two of you used to hide out here on nights when you both felt sad, are now being repeated into the very same air that you breathed only months ago. Promises that you’d both agreed to back then, are being remade in the safety of the night that now belongs to them.

“I love you.”

And

“Forever.”

Are being whispered between the two of them, assurances and pacts to be together till the end of time.

But now you wonder, how long is forever?

Do you get déjà vu when she’s with you? Do you get déjà  vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?

The smell of toast and freshly scrambled eggs wafts through the Great Hall and you struggle to resist the urge to moan out in excitement. Breakfast is your favourite meal and, really, the only meal that’s worth anything. As you plop down in your seat and start to pack your plate in your food you fail to notice, in your sheer joy, that Draco’s sitting across from you with H/N by his side.

It’s not until you’re done piling up your favourites, like an Olympic gold medalist in training, that you notice the couple sat across from you. You observe discreetly as Draco outstretches his hand all over the table to get whatever she wants to eat, and you have to struggle to focus as a wave of déjà vu washes over you.

When had you stopped being the one he arranged plates for? When had he started saving a spot beside him for her, and not you? Literally you know that the answer is roughly around 3 or 4 months ago when the two of you had broken up, but he’d stopped being yours a long time before then and you’d both known it. Little moments of love, that had been the basis of your relationship, had fizzled out into distant memories way before you’d both decided to call it quits.

“Butter or jam, Y/N?”

You’re about to answer, on instinct really, when you realise that he’s not even speaking to you.

But he said your name. Didn’t he?

Do you call her, almost say my name? ‘Cause let’s be honest, we kinda do sound the same Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type

“It was mortifying!” You exclaim as you recount the events of earlier to your best friend.

“How bad could it have possibly been?” She asks with a laugh as she settles into your bed comfortably.

“He looked her dead in the eyes, and called her ‘Y/N’, and to make it one hundred times worse, I was sitting across from them when he did it so they both immediately turned to look at me!” You cry out in embarrassment as you drop your face in a pillow. “I’ve never prayed so hard for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.” You mumble against the fabric and you hear her laugh again.

“Why are you so embarrassed? It wasn’t your mistake.”

“It’s not about that, it’s about how easy it would’ve been for us to return to our roles as boyfriend and girlfriend. I almost answered him!” You sigh. “It’s been what? 3? 4 months? And my mouth still acts on muscle memory. We’re so familiar to each other that we still act on instinct.”

“Are you sure it’s not just because your names sound so similar?” She raises her eyebrows at you and you scoff. “Really? Y/N and H/N sound nothing alike?”

“Nope, not at all.”

“Okay, if you say so.” She shrugs, “But deep down I think all three of you know that there’s more similarities present than you’d like to account for.”

You huff in response and cross your arms. Is she right? Does Draco have a type?

Even worse, are you just Draco’s type? Nothing more and nothing less than just another girl who ticks all of his favourite boxes?

I know you get déjà  vu I know you get déjà  vu I know you get déjà vu

It’s on one morning, on one of your good mornings, that it happens.

Months of watching the two of them recreate the love that you’d had with him, suffering in silence and scolding yourself for thinking such awful things about them, finally come to a halt when you receive the acknowledgment that you’ve been so desperately craving.

She walks onto platform 9 and 3/4 in a dress, a purple dress that looks eerily similar to the one you’d worn two years before on this exact platform. She’s smiling brightly, excited for the new school year, and Draco’s waiting for her by the door with a smile that’s just as bright. When his eyes catch her own and she slips her hand into his, he stumbles backward in shock slightly. He immediately looks away from her and searches the crowd, scanning over people climbing into the train and saying goodbye to their families, in a desperate attempt to find you.

It’s too much for him, to see her standing before him and looking like a replica of you, and he needs some sort confirmation to know that he’s not imagining this similarity. The dress wraps around her waist the same way that yours had wrapped around your own waist, and it compliments her skin in a way that’s hauntingly memorable. He knows that he’s seen all of this before, and he knows that it wasn’t with her.

You’re standing a few paces away from the door, watching the scene unfold, and when his ocean blues finally meet yours, you know.

He smiles at you, the first time he’s done so since you broke up, and mouthes exactly what the two of you need to hear.

“Déjà vu.”

And then it’s over- the moment, the agony, the months of confusion- it’s all packed up into a neat box and stored away. He turns with her and they walk into the train together, happily.

You remember this, being the one in her position and walking by his side. You remember the feeling of utter joy that had consumed you, it’s all the same really.

But maybe this time when he promises forever, he’ll mean it.

~~~

This was meant to be way angstier but I got lazy and ended up just wanting to write it out before I ran out of love for the idea.

Anyway, I kind of like it...

love you all,

jean <3

[veryreallyfuckinbad]

FIRE AND MOSS // Daryl Dixon X Reader// CHAPTER 6

TW: Strong language, implied abusive relationships, injury.

The Greene farm basked in the light of the impending sunrise, coating the land in a blanket of oranges, yellows and pinks. Birds began to sing, chirping away, oblivious to the dead people stalking every corner, every street, hiding in every shadow. Your heart filled with strange nostalgia and envy,- you wished you could be as free and uncaring as the winged critters. A strange phenomenon began taking place when the apocalypse hit; the world ended only for people. Nature seemed to be thriving more than ever without people slowly but surely killing it. Vegetation grew from cracks of abandoned houses’ floors, apartments previously filled with chatter and laughter were now home to wild animals. Nature took back what was hers quicker than you expected, signs of her healing around every corner, in every single flower, weed, blooming tree, moss. Most of the previously heavily populated areas smelled like death, the sickly sweet-ish stench of rotting bodies, both of the ones that perished forever and the ones that walked. The forest and the Greene farm, however, smelled like the life you knew. Like carelessness, confidence.

Your feet made slow but steady steps, avoiding making too much noise- Daryl was asleep in his tent and the worst thing you could do was wake him up as he hardly ever got any shut eye. You were certain you were the only one awake, so you stepped through the grass with care, avoiding any twigs that could snap and wake the others up. As you made your way to Dale’s trailer, deciding to take watch duty, you heard a faint, familiar sound coming from behind the trailer. Jake heard it too, instantly tensing, ready to pounce at any danger that might cross your path. You signaled the fox with your hand to relax when you recognized the sound- it was crying. You peeked from behind the RV and instantly felt your heart drop.

Carol was sat on the wet grass, crying, her hands on her head as she tried to control her weeps. Deciding it’s best to let her know you’re there instead of sneaking up on her, you spoke in a half-whisper, “Carol? Are you okay?” when the words left your mouth you realized how plain stupid that question was. Her daughter, all she had left, was missing. Carol’s head whipped to face you, her eyes red and puffy from crying, her cheeks stained with many glistering patterns of where her tears rolled down. When she realized it was only you, she sighed with a mixture of relief and something akin to confusion. She tried, immensely at that, to stop herself from breaking down once again and gave you a sad, unconvincing smile. You dipped your head and took a step towards her, taking a seat beside her.

“I’m just so scared, (Y/N). What if we never find her? Or if we do, it’ll be too-“ her voice trembled, just like her hands did.

“Stop it.” You silenced her, choosing your next words carefully. “I’m not going to say that I have no idea what you must be going through- it’s true, but you’ve heard it a million times already” you looked at her and stared deep into her horrified eyes. “Carol, I know you’re afraid. I do. Hear me out, though; you’ve got two grade A trackers at your disposal.” You gave her a warm smile.

“You can track?” she asked, clearly surprised.

You chuckled lightly, “Nope. He can.” you stroked Jake’s soft fur and watched as Carol’s eyes lit up slightly and shimmered with a glimpse of hope.

“How can he do that? I-I mean,” she stumbled over her words, “what does he need? A scent?”

“He’s not trained or anything, but he’s fantastic at finding stuff.” Your hand left Jake’s head when he shifted and stood up, walking up to Carol and sitting between you and her. He must’ve felt how heartbroken she was because he lowered his snout down to the woman’s hand and after giving it a brief sniff, he licked it and bumped it with his nose slightly. You smiled with pride and happiness.

“See? He promised he’ll do his best.” You said and watched Carol’s eyes light up again.

Carol sniffled and dug in one of her pockets, quickly handing you the item she was looking for. It was a piece of fabric, carefully cut around the edges.

“It’s a piece of her blanket. I keep it in my pocket to at least have a piece of her with me.” She explained and handed you the soft fabric. You knew she trusted you- she wouldn’t give the last of what she had left of her daughter to just anyone.

“We’ll go search right now.” You smiled at her and felt her fall apart all over again, this time because of gratitude. She crawled up to you and wrapped her arms around you, engulfing you in a warm, thankful embrace.

“Thank you so much” she nearly cried again. You hugged back and whispered a soft ‘you’re welcome’. Carol let go of you to face Jake and look into his eyes with the same respect she’s given you. “Thank you, too.” She extended her arm to touch him and you were about to jump in to stop her, afraid of Jake’s response, but stopped when you saw him pull his head into her hand, allowing her to touch him. It seemed like he was comforting her, as well as reassuring her he’ll do everything he can.

The farmland was still covered in the pink-orange light when you returned to your tent to retrieve your bag, just in case you found something worth taking. You’d hoped Daryl was still asleep and worried that your shuffling might’ve woke him up, so you carefully stepped closer to his tent to make sure he was sleeping. With each step, it became increasingly more clear that the archer was, in fact, not in his tent- the zip entrance was left open. You didn’t want to be nosy…but you wanted to check if he was okay. At least that’s what you told yourself- you’ve always wondered how his tent looks from the inside. You couldn’t tell whether it was pure curiosity or the burning need to find out more about the man. Before you could poke your head inside, you felt a presence right behind you, looming over you. Daryl stood right behind you.

“Found what ya were lookin’ for?” he asked, his voice not carrying as much weight as you’d expected it to. He didn’t appear mad, just irritated. Or so you hoped. You tried your best to keep your cool and turn around to face him, taking a step back when you realized how close he was.

“Now I did.” You smiled at him but your eyes betrayed you- he could feel your anxiety and uncertainty. He was usually frustrated with how hard you were to read, but the look in your eyes seemed familiar, like he’s seen you do it before but couldn’t put his finger on it.

Ever since the night Jake allowed Daryl to touch him, he was more confused than ever. The archer couldn’t understand how you- someone who’s been through so much, more than you’d let on, could be so friendly and loving towards her group. She never took and only gave, thinking of her fox and the group before herself. There was one more thing he couldn’t wrap his mind around and it drove him crazy- why would she give him special treatment? She opened up to him and him only, never allowed anybody except him see her cry, gave him handmade gifts, trusted him with her beloved companion. Not that you didn’t annoy him at times, but everybody did. Sometimes, you didn’t know when to stop talking and while he tolerated it for the longest time, sometimes he just had to send you back to your tent to give him room to breathe. He loved that you never took it personally, always conscious of his need for space.

“What’s the bag for?” he eyed you and patiently awaited your response before adding, “Ya movin’ out?”

“Oh, I would never.” You smirked at him and crossed your arms. “You’d miss me too bad, Dixon” you teased and expected a grunt or shrug in response, but to your surprise he retorted.

“ ‘f course. Who would sit with me when I cry my eyes out?” he smirked back at you, clearly a jab for the time you broke down in front of him. You rolled your eyes and stood on your tiptoes to affectionately ruffle his hair, much to his displeasure. You enjoyed how you could crack jokes at each other now, he had a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that you found hilarious in his own, strange way.

“You know you love me.” You teased him while turning your back to him and walking away, finally about to go out searching. “I’m going out to look for Sophia with Jake.”

“I’m comin’ with ya.” He said matter of factly, as if you had no say in it.

“If you do, Shane won’t get off my ass for the rest of the day. He already dislikes me, just wait until I ‘unnecessarily take away manpower from the farm’ or some shit like that.” Everything you said was true. You got along with every resident of the farm, with the exception of Shane. He never began trusting you and didn’t even think of trying. He always tried to control the group, but you never listened to him, probably because of the lack of mutual respect. The only people anyone in the group took orders from were Rick and Hershel.

“He can try. Screw ‘im. I’m comin’ with.” His mind was made and you decided not to argue with the stubborn archer.

“To be fair, I can see why you’d want to spend time with me. I’m the shit.” You heard Daryl scoff and shake his head, but once you looked at his face more closely, you realized he was smiling. “C’mon, let’s get the horses ready.”

Hooves hit gently against the ground, the horse’s head swaying subtly as he walked. You felt quite confident on the animal’s back, but Daryl seemed anxious. His broad shoulders looked even wider as he tensed, cautious- he didn’t trust the animal. Jake trotted alongside your horse, occasionally running off to check something out, but always came back. Your trusty knife was sheathed and safely buckled to your pants- ever since you got it back, you didn’t leave camp without it.

“You know, you gotta trust the horse a little. At least try.” You tried to nudge him, but you knew it was futile. If you were honest, you just wanted the awkward silence to end. Daryl looked at you and raised his brows.

“These things are unpredictable though,” he began and shrugged, “Merle ‘n I once…borrowed a neighbors horse, he had a stable or some shit.” He smiled to himself “Fucker bucked me off ‘n I fell right on my ass.” He finished and looked at you, awaiting your reaction. When you burst into laughter all he do was shake his head and grunt in response. “Couldn’t sit proper for days.”

You chuckled some more, your smile so contagious that even he mimicked it. For some reason, he didn’t mind you laughing at his story all that much.

“So it is a childhood trauma?” you nudged him again, half-joking and offered him a playful smirk. To your surprise, that didn’t seem to amuse him, his smile quickly fading before he gave you a sad smile. You realized you probably hit a nerve with that statement. “I’m so sorry.”

“ ‘s fine. What hurt me more was yer laughing at my sore ass.” He turned his head slightly to look at you from the side with the same smile as moments before appearing on his face. Quickly, silence fell upon you once again. This time, it was almost deafening and you didn’t understand why- when you sat with him by the campfire, you felt completely comfortable in silence with the man. It was like the warmth of the flame engulfed you like a soft blanket and made you immune to the man’s frustratingly quiet nature.

Daryl grasped the reins tightly as if to comfort himself- the feeling of leather straps digging into his palm was strangely comforting. The hunter’s hair fell upon his forehead; it was growing longer. He didn’t care but wondered whether it was practical to live in the death-ridden world with strands of hair falling over his eyes. He glanced upon you, your eyes on Jake. You stared at the fox with such love, nothing but pure affection. Not in the way you’d look at a puppy or any other pet- you looked at him as a valuable, fully capable member of the group. You saw him as a survivor, and Daryl admired that. He watched as your hair swayed and jumped gently with every step your horse took. He was lost in his own thoughts while he gazed at you, he wondered why he couldn’t force himself to push you away or tell you to move your tent back to the group. He guessed that that’s what it was like to have a friend.

“So, since we’re gonna be riding for a long time” you began, cutting through the silence and Daryl’s thoughts as he immediately averted his gaze and hoped you didn’t catch him looking at you. You did. “Tell me something about yourself” you smiled at him sincerely.

“Ya sound like a god damn hairdresser” he scoffed and shrugged, “make sure to ask me how’s school, too.”

You chuckled and shook your head, giving him a side-eye. You awaited his response, but it never came. If you had to take one more minute of that awkward silence, you’d rather dig a hole and jump straight in.

“Let me start, then.” You began and rolled your eyes. “I’m (Y/N)” you heard him mumble a ‘wow’ underneath his breath and shushed him with a smile, “For real, though. One thing you might have noticed about me is I make horrible decisions.” You grinned at him

“Such as?”

“Like setting my tent up next to yours” you joked and heard him chuckle- it was a fantastic sound. It made you happy in all kinds of ways, maybe because it was so rare, it was special. “Anything, really. Laying on broken glass that one time”, you grinned at your dry joke, reminiscing about how that very day led you to meeting your new family, “I dunno, anything really. School, back when that was a thing, the people I hung out with, relationships.”

He stilled at that last word. Not because he was uncomfortable or unwilling to listen to her talk about it but because he was worried that someone hurt you.

“What d’ya mean?” he glanced at you curiously, “The relationship part.”

You smiled uncomfortably, unsure whether you should share or not. You mentally slapped yourself for letting that last part come out- you should’ve expected him to ask. Even though you’ve somewhat healed, talking about it out loud was never easy. Moss still grew on your heart.

“Oh, you know. Jackasses that, uh…” you stumbled over your words as Daryl watched you carefully, “Whenever they were mad, they took it out on me.” You gave him a reassuring smile, trying to show how confident you were, how you’ve healed. It was only partially true- sometimes it still hurt. “This one dude,” you began, this time with a chuckle, “got so pissed at me for wanting something stupid, flowers I think, for my birthday.” You smiled at him half-heartedly. Daryl stared at you and tried to decode your expression. He, however, was easy to read at that very moment- he was pissed. Not at you, but at the men you’ve been with. The archer guessed you didn’t want his pity, however. He knew it would only make it worse.

“Ya didn’t lie when ya called him a jackass” he smirked at you for a brief moment, “I get it.”

You’ve finally reached your destination- a small creek with a two-way path. Twigs grew out of the ground where the drop of a small trench-like pit began. Deciding it’s best to split up to cover as much ground as possible, Daryl took the left and you- the right path. You’d promised each other to meet at this very creek later on.

As the hours passed, nothing came of your search. Jake ran around, sniffing the cloth Carol gave you from time to time but found nothing, say for a rabbit that he promptly caught and ate. You couldn’t believe the girl was just gone, without a trace at that. You couldn’t allow yourself to believe that- you’d lose all the hope you had left. With a heavy sigh, you turned around and began heading back through the dense woodland, back to the spot you were supposed to meet Daryl at. The forest smelled fresh- the repulsive stench of death was replaced with the sweet scent of flowers and the gentle smell of grass and trees.

When you reached your meeting spot you looked around and quickly came to the conclusion that Daryl was still out looking. With a sigh, you hopped off your horse and tied it’s reins to a sturdy branch. Before you could sit down and relax, you heard a horrifying grunt coming from the trench. Sure it was a walker, you grabbed your knife and took careful steps, making sure not to slip on the wet, muddy grass. Jake beat you to it, running to whatever was making the noise and immediately beginning to shriek and call for you. Your legs moved on their own, not caring about being cautious anymore. When you arrived to where Jake stood, just over the ledge, you looked down into the hollow and felt your breath get stuck in your throat.

Daryl was trying to climb out of the trench, slipping on the mud and desperately grasping for any branch that could support his weight to pull himself up. He was covered in blood, his mouth was red and something was hung on his neck. Blood was trickling from his side and dripping on his pants, staining his shirt. He quickly noticed you and stared at you. He looked different, no life in his steel-blue eyes. None of the spark they usually had, they were glossy, confused and afraid. Thinking quickly, you grabbed onto a root sticking out of the ground for support and extended your hand to him. He looked dazed, as if unsure what to do, whether he should grab your hand, but quickly decided to do so. You felt his strong grasp on your wrist as you tried to pull him up, heaving and wincing from the pain of his grip on your wrist. Your feet began slipping and you almost fell down the trench. The grip of his hand was so strong that you were sure he would eventually break it.

“Hold on!”

You braced yourself and with one last, painful pull he was out of the creek. He laid on his back next to you, both of your chests heaving and breathing deeply. You didn’t allow yourself to rest though, quickly kneeling next to him and inspecting his wound.

“What the hell happened?” your eyes were full of fear and worry, “Daryl, talk to me. Please.”

He grunted, clearly in pain and in a feverish state.

“Arrow. Fell on it”

--------

A/N: I'm so sorry this took me so long, I was super busy and then had a massive writer's block. This chapter definitely isn't the best but I promise the next one will be much better! <3

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taglist <3

@writers-adversary @kimchiwen @mileysnavely @srhxpci

[amesstm]

Reasons and Days

Pairing: Miya Atsumu x Reader

Summary: If you two only told each other how you really felt.

WC: 2.1K

Warnings: angst, miscommunication because I am evil

A/N: I listened to so many sad love songs because I am depresso so hopefully I was fully inspired for this one. 

Frankly, you should’ve been studying, relaxing, sleeping – anything else. In fact, that essay due at the end of the week was begging to be looked at but you couldn’t focus on it at the moment. Not when Miya Atsumu consumed your every thought each second of every day.  

Admittedly, you don’t remember how it came to this. You two have been friends with each other ever since middle school. You could tell him everything, but you couldn’t tell him about this: your feelings for him. At first, you tried to bury it six feet under but it bubbled to the surface. How could anyone say no to his smile?

Then, you realized it wasn’t something you could easily get rid of. You’ve tried to expel your feelings several times now. You even tried to be disgusted with how he messily ate despite having years to become accustomed to it. It didn’t work.  

You still don’t know what compelled you to like him. No, scratch that. You could list every reason why. After all, you had written every single minuscule thing every day. Sometimes, you’d write down reasons in your phone so you wouldn’t forget. If you couldn’t stop liking him, you thought that you might as well justify your feelings. 

Reason 1: he makes you smile. It was the simplest one, but it was the most crucial because those rapid heartbeats didn’t mean nothing to you. And when he smiles in return? Your heart would stop.

Reason 26: he gives his all to everything he’s passionate about. Surprisingly, this was lower down the list but you still jotted it down because it was essential to his personality.  

Reason 41 – the most recent one: he gave me his sweater when it was cold. Even now you wore it, pulling the sleeves above your hands. The scent of his cologne was still faintly there and you smiled at it – reminded of all the hugs you two shared.  

You sneezed softly and groaned before blowing your nose. Perhaps you should dress warmer like Atsumu advised. The weather was beginning to chill, and it was only December 3rd.

The letter in front of you demanded to be finished, so you obliged.  

Dear Atsumu,

I know that it’s only been 41 days since I figured out I liked you – but every day you give me something new to adore. Today you gave me your sweater and I absolutely love it. Something about it is just so you? It’s even one you bought from your time at nationals. I’m so excited to watch you go to nationals again this year!  

Tomorrow is another day and I get to find another thing to admire about you. I’ll wear warmer clothes like you want, even I can admit that.  

Why do you do this to me?

-Y/N

Now that the small letter was complete, you finally returned your attention to the essay you had to complete.  

~

“Good morning Y/N!” Atsumu exclaimed, jumping onto you. The sudden surprise of his body weight made you falter and almost fall over until he got off. For whatever reason this morning, he was in a joyful mood.  

“Don’t be a brute, idiot,” Osamu muttered, rolling his eyes at his twin. His droopy eyes moved to you and he said, “Mornin’ Y/N.”

You smiled kindly, “Good morning to you two. What’s got ‘tsumu so excited?”

Osamu sighed and began to walk with you, ignoring Atsumu completely, “He’s going to some camp this month.”

“It’s not just any camp!” Atsumu whined. He sprinted up to meet with you and slung an arm around your shoulder. “It’s the All-Japan Youth Training Camp!”

You beamed, “That’s amazing, ‘tsumu! Do you know anyone else going?”

“Heh, do you really need to ask?” He began to smirk, probably because he spent all his time stalking each person. You shook your head and he began to laugh.  

“Anyways,” Osamu cleared his throat. “Class is starting and we need to go.”  

“Oh shoot, ‘samu’s right,” you jumped after looking at your watch. “Bye ‘tsumu!”

Atsumu waved you two goodbyes with a smile, but frowned when you left his view. Despite knowing you longer and being your friend first, it seemed as if you liked Osamu more. You and Osamu decided to hang out more – even without having projects to do together. The first bitter feeling occurred maybe a month ago, when you smiled at a joke Osamu made.  

Around a few weeks ago, you showed up to a game of theirs. The game had been pretty hard on Osamu, so of course you would run up to him first to see if he was okay. Still, it didn’t change the fact that it hurt not having you run towards him once he was out of the locker room.  

He knew he had no right to be jealous. You were your own individual. It’s not like you two were dating, either. Yet, Atsumu couldn’t explain the drops in his stomach when he saw you with Osamu. Something just seemed right about it.  

Could Atsumu blame you for favoring Osamu? No. He couldn’t. Atsumu chose to be unlikeable. At the time, nothing else mattered but training for volleyball. Now, he regretted it. So many people don’t like him. Atsumu thought he had no right to be upset with you for choosing Osamu, too. Everyone always did.  

~

“Hey ‘tsumu!” You said, running up to him just as he was about to leave his house. Huffs of dragon breath puffed into the air as you caught your breath. Your body was burning up despite the cold weather.  

The blond looked surprised, especially since you were never a morning person. His widened eyes slanted into a smile. “Who are you and what have you done with Y/N?”

You rummaged into your bag, “Oh hush. I made you a care package.”

Atsumu’s eyes twinkled as if he saw a volleyball begging to be set. “Really?!”

You nodded. Procuring the package, you held it out to him. Reason 52: he gets excited over the simplest gestures of kindness. Suddenly, your cold face warmed up. Atsumu looked through the goodies, “You even got me fatty tuna?!”

You chuckled, “It wouldn’t be a care package without it.”

The setter wrapped you in a tight hug and pulled away with a grin. “Thank you so much! Is there anything I can do for you?”  

Was this your chance to ask for a date? No, that only works in fanfiction. Just ask for something simple. “Please play nice at the camp.”

Knowing Atsumu, that might be harder. Should’ve gone for something even simpler.

“Have some faith in me!” Atsumu pouted, “I can be nice!”

You raised an eyebrow but shook your head. “I’ll give a survey to everyone there just to make sure.”

“Eh? Who are you? Aran-san or Kita-san?”  

“Nope, just Y/N,” you replied, sticking out your tongue.  

“That’s enough for me,” Atsumu murmured.  

You blinked. Did you hear that right? Snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of a door slamming open, a familiar voice called out through the soft snow. “’Tsumu, mom says that you need to hurry up and catch the train!”

“Crap! You’re right!” Atsumu exclaimed. “Goodbye, Y/N!”  

Then, the blond ran off, making sure not to slip on the slush. Osamu watched his twin run off in his own coat no less and sighed with a shake of his head, “Y/N, do you want to come in for hot chocolate?”

“Please?” At the thought of warmth, you shivered. “It’s really cold.”

Osamu stepped aside so you could enter the warm house. Unbeknownst to you, Atsumu was watching you enter and bit his lip.  

~

Days passed and soon the Miya twins were off to play in the nationals. Unfortunately, you couldn’t afford the time to watch them in person. Luckily, you and Atsumu were still able to text. As expected, the Inarizaki team won their first match. But the next match was completely unpredicted. An unknown team would move onto quarterfinals instead of your school’s team.

Atsumu would be crushed.  

As the buses stopped before the school, you waited impatiently to comfort Atsumu. You even prepared some mochi that he could nibble on. The sweater that clung to your body was his, showing your support for him. When Atsumu stepped out of the bus, his face still looked dark, yet determined.  

“Hey, you were amazing,” you said to him, putting a hand on his arm.  

“It wasn’t enough,” the perfectionist in him replied. He stalked off without you, head low as he was planning his next course of action.  

You stopped in your tracks. He didn’t bother looking back.  

“Y/N, are you okay?” Osamu asked, looking at you with concern.  

“Reason 68: he never gives up,” you simply stated.

Osamu understood immediately. In the short time you two have grown closer, you spilled everything to him. Contrary to his brother, Osamu was an amazing listener, which you would greatly appreciate right now.  

As he was about to lead you to the gym, Osamu stopped when he heard you. “Reason 1: he left me behind.”

~

That was the start of the reasons why you shouldn’t like Atsumu. The blond slowly distanced himself from you – from everyone, really. The Sunday nights spent getting ice cream were replaced with him overworking himself, trying so hard to make up for his faults. He didn’t wait for you to meet him outside of your classroom, either. Instead, he ran towards the gym to practice more sets.  

During this time, Osamu and you grew ever closer. For Atsumu, this was the hint that you wouldn’t stay to support him. The time you two spent together were slowly filled with Osamu’s presence. Now, he was cooking onigiri for you to try every Sunday night. Now, he was the one walking you to your locker after classes.  

Atsumu could only watch from afar, from the insides of the gym unless you came to watch a practice or game. To him, this was just as inevitable as death. The feeling of you leaving him was slow, then rush all at once. Perhaps death would just be as suffocating, if he were to die of a broken heart now.

There was only so much time until you would choose Osamu over him, anyways. When he wasn’t focused on volleyball, he would try to rationalize his feelings. His heart and head were in completely different places. Atsumu cursed himself. If only he weren’t at his lowest point, then he would know how to overcome this right now. But you decided to pull away at this time.

The balled Atsumu served was crushed into the floor and bounced into the hallway. Suna huffed, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Eh?” Atsumu glared, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“In case you forgot, you would be upset with Osamu for messing up. Now you are. Why?”

“It’s none of your business,” Atsumu snapped. He sighed, “Just don’t mention Osamu right now.”

Suna blinked and left it alone. If Atsumu wanted to fight with Osamu he would, and Suna didn’t want to get in trouble with Kita. Not unless he could video tape the fight.  

~

Spring came along, which meant that White Day was also about to be upon them. For Valentine’s Day, you decided to give something to both Osamu and Atsumu. Osamu was given an onigiri plushie and Atsumu was given a sushi plushie. They were by far the cutest objects in the twins’ shared bedroom.  

Now, Atsumu just had to think of what to give you. But should he? You spent so much time with Osamu that it seemed like you forgot about him. In fact, you came to the Miya household for Osamu more than Atsumu now.  

Regardless, Atsumu still bought you some red roses. The florist secured the bouquet with a shiny, golden ribbon. A sweet note was attached to it, apologizing for not giving you enough attention. Yet, you’d never get that bouquet.  

The older twin saw his brother give you chocolates. No wonder the house smelled like chocolates. Osamu even sneakily asked his brother to sample them. Atsumu gripped onto the roses, his mouth wavered, and his eyes watered. A small whimper escaped his mouth. He clutched them and walked away from the couple. Once he was home, Atsumu placed the roses next to his window.  

Days passed, with you and Osamu becoming closer than ever. Reasons, untold, drew you closer to the grisette and farther away from the blond. Atsumu watched his red roses wilt into a dark crimson.

[pink-flame]

Wrap me up

This fic is dedicated to @blush-and-books who wrote fanfic about my fanfic and made my life infinitely better for it. I hope you enjoy this indulgent Juke sickfic. 😊

Sorry that I keep giving you the flu, Julie. It’s in the name of the fluff which we all desperately need right now. And always. Definitely always need the fluff. 

Enjoy! 💜

Julie was absolutely miserable.

She was home sick which on its own shouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world. She was never one of those kids who went for the perfect attendance award, her mom always ranting about how some parents were willing to let their precious children infect the entire school in pursuit of a useless paper certificate. There were generally a few days every school year where Julie caught some cold and got to spend the day propped up on the couch watching trashy daytime tv and chugging hot tea. Overall, even with the slight discomfort of a stuffy nose and a headache it usually evened out to be a relatively enjoyable experience.

The problem was that she didn’t have a cold. She had this new strain of flu that was going around that was twice as contagious and notably more intense than the normal one, leaving Julie feeling a lot more than slightly inconvenienced by her illness.

She was exhausted.

She was sore.

She was burning up and freezing at the same time.

She was...absolutely miserable.

She was also more or less on her own.

Her dad had of course wanted to nurse Julie as hands on as possible but Julie had insisted that he try to keep his distance. It was her abuela’s birthday that weekend and it was a big tradition that the whole family would go visit her. She was in her 90s and living in an assisted living facility. She didn’t get many visitors and she looked forward to them coming for weeks ahead of time. That family togetherness meant a lot to her especially after losing Julie’s mom.

So it was sad enough that Julie wouldn’t be able to attend but if her dad or tia caught her flu there would be no birthday visit at all. Carlos wasn’t exactly offering to come in and tend to Julie but she wouldn’t have let him even if he was. So despite her dad and her aunt protesting she had eventually convinced them to check on her from a healthy distance away and leave her meals and tea in the doorway to her room. Julie did her best to act as though she wasn’t feeling too bad when one of them popped in just to keep them feeling comfortable with the arrangement. As soon they left for the hour or so drive to her abuela’s facility, promising to call and check in frequently, Julie had sagged more fully against her pillows letting her true feelings about the situation wash over her fully for the first time.

Her head was pounding, she was shivering, her throat burned and every breath she took rattled in her chest. There was more than that though. She wasn’t with her family going to visit her abuela and she wouldn’t be...she wouldn’t be performing at the music program showcase the next night. It was meant to be her first solo performance, well at least the first officially sanctioned one, since she had lost her mom.

Yes, she had come so far and yes the boys had given her the confidence to perform in places she never would have believed six months ago. But this was different. This was supposed to be her opportunity to prove to everyone at school that she was back to her old self, that she could stand on that stage alone and rock it. This was supposed to be her opportunity to prove it to herself.

Instead here she was sick. Alone.

Miserable.

Julie suddenly felt a familiar burning sensation pricking at her eyes as tears welled up, threatening to fall. She tried to blink them back, frustration rising up at the thought that she would not only be miserably ill but also cry over it. Unfortunately, being incredibly frustrated was just as likely to make her cry as being sad was so she now had no chance of avoiding a full on emotional outburst.

She pressed the side of her face against her pillow and squeezed her eyes shut harshly, as though if she buried her head far enough into its fluffy surface she could convince herself that the tears weren’t falling, and her head wasn’t throbbing and…

“Jules?”

Julie blinked her eyes open sluggishly, waiting until her vision cleared enough to let her see who was standing over her bed. Not that she needed to see him to know that. She would recognize that voice anywhere at this point.

Luke.

He stood beside her bed staring down at her, his forehead creased with worry as he shifted from foot to foot with anxious energy.

“Julie are you ok? I had this weird tugging feeling and then I just thought I should come see how you were doing. Are you...are you crying?”

Julie fully intended to open her mouth and say yes, to say she was fine, that her eyes were just watering because her sinuses were backed up but actually she was feeling much better.

Instead when she opened her mouth all that escaped was a sob.

She raised one hand quickly to slap it over her mouth as though she could somehow take back the sound that had just escaped before Luke registered it. That was of course wishful thinking.

Luke’s expression immediately descended into panic, his hands flapping uselessly around her bundled up form as though searching for the spot he could touch to fix whatever was wrong with her.

“Hey, Julie...Julie...Jules, what’s wrong?”

His face was so worried and sweet and concerned and it only made Julie cry harder.

“Don’t cry,” He begged, before seemingly coming to a decision.

Even though he was only a step away from her bed he poofed out of existence and reappeared lying horizontally next to her, his hands instantly reaching out to stroke down the sides of her face, chasing the tears that tracked down its surface.

“Don’t cry,” He repeated, his voice softer and less alarmed as her breathing calmed under his touch. “Don’t cry, Jules.”

Her tears started to slow and finally dried up entirely as though his words had been a command and not a desperate plea. She thought for not the first time in the last few weeks how grateful she was that the boys were tangible to her now. It would probably never stop feeling like magic to her when Reggie bumped his shoulder against hers conspiratorially or Alex leaned down to rest his chin on the top of her head. But when Luke’s hand brushed against hers when he handed her his lyrics journal or he pulled her into a warm hug, just because?  

That would probably never stop feeling like a miracle.

Her tears were gone but Luke’s hands were still resting gently on her cheeks, his fingers dancing softly up and down her skin soothingly, finding the perfect rhythm, just like he always did.

“Hey.”

He broke her from her thoughts with a single word before continuing quietly as though afraid to startle her back into tears.

“You ok?”

She nodded then thought better of it, exhaled a shaky breath and shook her head.

“I was supposed to perform at the showcase tomorrow and now I can’t and I feel awful but I have to be alone so I don’t get anyone sick.”

One of Luke’s hands slid down to rest on the top of her arm, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the skin he found there as an affectionate smile tugged at his lips.

“You can’t get me sick,” He reminded her. “And you’re not alone.”

Even through her raging headache and her lingering emotions she couldn’t help but mirror his small smile with one of her own.

“Cause we’ve always got each other?”

His smile grew into a certified grin, the kind that had quickly become something she looked forward to and did her best to bring out of him as often as humanly possible, even if she didn’t want him to know that. It’s power was definitely not diminished from this close.

“Exactly,” He answered, biting his lip as he jerked his head in a quick nod.

She thought his eyes might have dropped to her lips for a moment but it was so quick she thought she also might have imagined it. Given the fact that she knew she looked like an absolute mess at the moment the odds were pretty good that she had. She definitely hadn’t intended to summon him when she was in that state but she didn’t exactly have a handle on how she was doing it in the first place so she hadn’t had much choice. She didn’t regret it though. Not during their show at the Orpheum and not even now, dripping nose and frizzy hair and all.

“Why didn’t you tell me...uh, us...you were feeling this bad?” Luke asked, his face sinking back into a frown.  

It was true the boys had come to visit her as soon as she came home from school feeling feverish and had slunk directly to her room instead of heading out to the studio for band practice. They had hovered around her, expressing concern in their well meaning but chaotic way before she had assured them that it was a cold and she would be back to rehearsing in no time. They had popped in a few times since, Luke especially, to offer a distraction or company. She had always sent them away in the name of rest even though the truth was she just didn’t want them to see her like this.

With Luke’s soft gaze trained on her now though...she was having a hard time remembering why she had spent so much effort keeping him away.

She didn’t say any of that out loud, choosing to simply shrug and lift her eyes up slightly to meet his.

Luckily he seemed ready to let it go, letting her lack of answer pass as he shifted a few inches closer to her until she knew she would be able to feel his breath on her face if he had still needed to breathe at all.

“What can I do?” He asked, the hand still on her cheek rising up to trace a tingling line from her temple to her jaw.

Julie let her eyes drift shut so she could take in the sensation of his calloused fingertips dragging gently against her skin even more intensely.

“This is a good start,” She muttered, smirking a little as she heard his answering chuckle rumble out.

Unfortunately she didn’t have long to enjoy such an amazing moment as a particularly intense throb of pain exploded across her forehead and behind her eyes. She managed not to groan but her discomfort must have shown on her face because Luke withdrew both of his hands from where they touched her.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked, his tone more serious than she was used to hearing it.

Julie forced her eyes open though even the dull light of the lamp next to her bed suddenly seemed a little unbearable.

“Kind of...everywhere,” She admitted, her voice catching with a slight croak. “But mostly my head.”

“Stay here,” Luke instructed firmly as though she had any plans to be anywhere but her bed for the foreseeable future.

Before Julie could point that out though he had already poofed out of the room. When he returned a few minutes later he took the long way, the boys having not managed to master poofing any objects with them other than their instruments and their clothes. Thank God, for that second part. Although...she would be lying if she said those barely shirts Luke had a habit of wearing didn’t make her curious to see the few parts of his upper body they left to her imagination.

Julie realized too late that Luke had said something to her and quickly stammered out a response, hoping it was the right one.

“Nothing!”

He raised an eyebrow as he set a box of crackers and two tylenol down on her bedside table.

“I asked if you wanted a warm washcloth for your head,” He said, the hint of a laugh behind his words.

“Oh,” She could feel herself blushing and thanked whoever was listening that she could at least blame the flush of her cheeks on her fever. “No thank you.”

She sat up sluggishly and Luke handed her the pills and a glass of water and she took them gratefully, swallowing the pills with a little difficulty due to her swollen throat.

“You should try to eat something too,” Luke insisted, nudging the box of crackers towards her. “I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take pain medicine on an empty stomach.”

Julie forced down a couple of crackers even though she hadn’t been hungry all day. Luke sat down on the edge of her bed.

“You’re pretty good at this,” She told Luke as she slouched down a little further, the energy required to sit up quickly draining out of her.

His eyes darted away for a moment before returning to meet hers again.

“I’m just trying stuff my mom used to do for me.”

Julie knew that just because Luke had finally gotten some closure with his parents didn’t mean that it wasn’t still hard for him to linger on his thoughts of them. Especially his mom. She also knew that if the last few months had taught her anything it was that sometimes doing the hard thing was the right thing in the long run. Thinking of people you had loved and lost was hard at first but it could become a source of happiness if you let it. She had that with the memory of her mom and she wanted the same for him, even if they were dealing with different kinds of ghosts.

Julie reached out and pulled Luke’s hand into her somewhat clammy one, giving it a gentle squeeze and pointedly ignoring the questioning look he sent her in response.

“What else did she do?” She asked.

Luke hesitated for a moment but then a soft smile appeared on his face and Julie felt a surge of warmth that cut straight through the ache in her chest.

“She would wrap me up in a blanket like a burrito,” He told her, an excited tone edging into his voice. “And let me watch all my favorite movies.”

Julie turned Luke’s hand over and traced gentle patterns across his palm with the tips of her fingers.

“That sounds really nice.”

He seemed distracted by her actions but he managed to stutter out a reply.

“Yeah...uh, yeah, it was.”

“Anything else?” She asked, her fingers not ceasing their circular route around his palm.

“Um…” Luke dragged his eyes away from what she was doing as he ducked his head bashfully. “She would tell me stories sometimes.”

Julie finally stopped her motions, folding her hand softly over his.

“That’s so cute.”

“I mean, I was a little kid,” Luke shrugged, but he didn’t seem to entirely hate her using the word cute to describe something even distantly connected to him.

Maybe it was the fever or the exhaustion or the gratitude to not be alone but Julie was having a hard time mustering up any of the awkwardness or self-doubt or nerves that would normally plague her if she was this close to Luke. She wanted to be close to him and she felt too rotten to deny herself.

An involuntary shiver ran through her and as much as she would have liked to blame it on the proximity of a certain dead guitarist, she was pretty sure this one was due to this damn flu.

“Are you cold?” Luke asked, that familiar, concerned frown settling back onto his face.

Julie nodded.

“A little.”

Luke jumped up from his spot on the edge of her bed and rushed over to the chair sitting against the wall, grabbing the fuzzy blanket she always kept folded over the back of it. He was back at her bed in an instant, pulling down her comforter and letting a rush of cool air wash over her.

Julie stared at him in confusion, another shiver travelling through her body.

“What are you doing?”

Luke stretched out his arms, her blanket extending until he was just peeking over it, only his eyes and floppy hair visible.

“Blanket burrito,” He explained excitedly. “Is that ok?”

Julie couldn’t help but smile a little at his enthusiasm and she nodded.

He was instantly leaning forward to wrap the blanket tightly around her, pulling it all the way up to her chin and tucking it under her all along the edges of her body until she felt like a toasty...well, burrito. When he was satisfied with his work, Luke pulled her comforter back up, patting it with satisfaction before sinking back onto the bed next to her.

“Better?”

Julie nodded.

“Better.”

In the end the blanket burrito wasn’t the only sick day tip they borrowed from his mother. Luke fetched her laptop and managed to follow her instructions clunkily to pull up Netflix. They watched Thirteen Going on Thirty because it’s one of her favorites, and because it’s full of 80s references which Luke gets too.

“Isn’t it a little creepy that she’s really 13?” He asked at one point.

“Only if you think about it too hard,” Julie rolled her eyes. “Besides they’re obviously soulmates. They were always meant to end up together somehow.”

“Hmmm…” Luke hummed, seeming to seriously consider her words even as a comedic scene played out on the screen. “You believe in stuff like that?”

“Soulmates?” Julie hesitated for a moment, hoping that her face wasn’t giving away just how much she had invested in this question. “Yeah, I guess I do. What about you?”

Luke’s answer didn’t come right away and when it did it was spoken in an impossibly soft voice.

“Yeah, I guess I do too.”

After that they don’t talk until the movie is finished, but he does make a point to reach out and rub comfortingly at her shoulder whenever a ragged breath or cough escapes her.

When the movie is over Julie started to lose what little energy she had, slumping further and further down involuntarily until she finds herself completely horizontal again. She fought to keep her eyes open but it was a losing battle.

“You should go to sleep,” Luke told her, affection clear in his tone. “I’ll keep you company.”

Julie nodded and he stretched out behind her as she rolled onto her side, the blanket burrito hindering her for a moment before she managed to wriggle free. She hesitated for a few seconds then reached back and pulled one of his arms forward to drape over her waist. She knew she was really pushing the limits now of their friendship, of the tightrope they had been walking ever since “interesting little relationship” and “no regrets” and the heady realization that they could touch each other. She just couldn’t quite bring herself to care about the implications in the moment.

Luke’s hand flexed awkwardly on her side before he seemed to reach a similar conclusion, sliding it around to settle against her stomach, tugging her more firmly against him. She could feel his head nudging at her hair and was filled with a sudden rush of concern.

“My hair’s in your face.”

“It’s fine,” He mumbled, his voice closer to her ear than she was prepared for.

“No really, you’re going to smother yourself,” Julie insisted. “We don’t have to cuddle. You don’t have to stay at all if you don’t want to. You’ve already…”

“Jules,” He cut off her nervous rambling, using his arm to guide her gently onto her other side until she was facing him.

He hadn’t moved back at all and their faces were now so close that their noses were almost brushing. Her first thought was that it was a good thing that she couldn’t get him sick because this position would definitely have done it. Her second thought was that she was this close to Luke and how delightfully overwhelming that experience was.

“Better?” He breathed through a chuckle.

Julie managed a nod.

“Better.”

Luke’s arm remained firmly wrapped around her waist, his fingers starting to trace random shapes along her back.

“Go to sleep, Julie,” He instructed, and once again her body seemed to take his words as an order.

An order she didn’t have the strength to disobey, not that she was trying very hard.

Her eyes slid closed.

This moment was so close to perfect (as perfect as anything could be when she felt this sick) it felt selfish to push her luck for more. But Julie wasn’t the type to settle and Luke wasn’t the type to deny her what she asked (anything, Julie, you know that). So she spoke up, eyes still firmly shut.

“Tell me a story.”

There was a pause before his answer came, his voice embarrassed but something else lingering in his tone that she was too afraid to call love and too smart to call anything else.

“I don’t remember any,” He admitted.

“Make one up,” She suggested, one of her hands finding its way to his arm, running her nails gently from his elbow to his wrist and back again.

This time it was his turn to shiver and if she felt a rush of satisfaction at that she did her best to keep the evidence of it off of her face. She was pretty sure he knew anyway.

“Once upon a time,” He started finally, his voice soft and amused. “There was a princess with a gift for music. She was a wicked beauty but she was lonely. She lived in a tower without anyone to sing with. Then one day the princess found this cd and three princes who also happened to be ghosts showed up…”

Julie let his voice lull her into a sleep more restful than any she had experienced in the past week. She kept up her motions tracing gently along his arm until finally as she drifted off her hand sagged down to wrap around his hip. The last thing she was aware of before losing consciousness completely was his warm fingers stroking her spine, the music in his fingers present even when his guitar was out of reach.

She was exhausted.

She was sore.

She was burning up and freezing at the same time.

But she wasn’t alone.

And she was definitely, definitely not miserable.

[dreamieofu]

Just a Best Friend

pairing: haechan x reader  ft. jeno word count: 3.5k genre: best friends to lovers!au, college!au, angst and a little fluff(?) summary: You’ve been best friends for so long, but when Donghyuck sees you with someone else, he wants you.  warning(s): requested! ♡ jealous hyuck, slightly possessive hyuck... let me know if u catch more lmao

Donghyuck’s been next to you for as long as you can remember. Most of your early years of adolescence had images of his smiles, his teasing and his jokes. Happiness is what you find when you think about your best friend, warmth. Naturally, as you grew together, you started to see him differently. Donghyuck was now evidently taller than you, more confident and it seemed that he really grew into his big boy shoes. Although you felt a bit behind, in ways of him being able to get anyone to fall for him. Mr. Charismatic, he seemed to be everyone's friend. But, knowing he was the one waiting, leaning against the school gates, for him to walk you home; made you feel special. Because, even if everyone can call Donghyuck their friend, you’re his best friend.

He also had a soft spot, unknowingly, for you. Donghyuck liked the way you felt familiar, the way you made him feel grounded. Regardless of all the times he’d have his head in the clouds, you were there. Donghyuck also watched you grow, he can call out all of your little phases. But throughout all, you still remained you. A caring heart, a beautiful soul. In some sorts, you both compliment each other. Donghyuck was the end of your sentence, the start of your world. From the outside, it shows you’re both close. And no matter how many constant comments of “Are you two dating?” Donghyuck never expressed anything in the slightest that hinted romance to blossom between you. Even throughout the years, your feelings were a switch of platonic and infatuation. You never resolved for him to reciprocate. Maybe you’d write his name with a heart on your notes occasionally, but you’ve settled in your heart: Donghyuck was better off. Sometimes, in your seasons of fixation he’d have a different girl follow him. Someone temporary under his arm, whispering in his ear. But after each girl, he ended up back to you. Finding home within you.

In this particular season of Autumn, Donghyuck had a different girl he was flirting around with. Although none of these girls were of seriousness, all playful. It still weighed heavy in the corners of your mind. Pining and wishing you’d be the one he’d look at with crescent eyes and a warm embrace. You drifted this time. Distancing away slightly, a bit drained out seeing him with yet another who’s not you. You weren’t sure if he did notice, but he didn’t ask around for you either. You found yourself hanging out with somebody else. He was kind, and also had an infectious smile. Both you and Donghyuck had separate friends outside your tiny party of two. And Jeno was one of those friends. Jeno knew about your feelings towards Donghyuck, and you’re thankful he doesn’t judge you too much from your mumbling frustrations about him.

“It’s just… annoying. Whenever he dates around with another girl, he goes all side tracked.” You puff out, head falling onto your arms in front of you. Stretched out and resting against the wooden library table. You lift your chin to peek at Jeno’s face. He’s sat in front of you, eyes skimming through a textbook. You don’t wait to see if he’s listening because you carry on with your tangent. “Like, for example, he completely blew off our movie night! We have a movie every Thursday!” whining, your tone sparks a bit higher. This catches Jeno’s amused eyes as he flips the page, cocking an eyebrow. “Well, maybe you should tell him then.” He speaks truthfully, but in a playful manner. You lightly kick his foot under the table and he smiles at your poor attempt to hurt him. “Speaking of him,” Jeno mutters, eyebrows raising, and eyes diverting towards the library entrance. Your head turns along with his gesture, instantly locking eyes with none other than Donghyuck himself. And you inwardly roll your eyes, because it’s unfair. Unfair how effortlessly mesmerising he was under the cool lights of the library. He’s wearing your favourite hoodie (one that he’s let you borrow countless amounts of times for sleepovers) and his adidas sweatpants. Donghyuck rakes his fingers through his hair in a quick motion once he enters. Eyes meeting yours and an instant smile begins to form at the corners of his lips. He’s quick with his steps, making his way towards you. But you feel too flustered, quickly looking away just as fast as you noticed him. You send a look of panic to Jeno in front of you, but he just smiles. Awaiting the events that’ll unfold in front of him, making your state all the more amusing.

Before you know it, Donghyuck’s standing next to the edge of the table. His ring clad hands pressed against the wood in front of you. “Y/N… I tried looking for you everywhere,” panting slightly, barely acknowledging Jeno. You look up to Donghyuck through your eyelashes, inhaling and exhaling a deep breath. “But you didn’t look for me last night… for our movie night,” You fight him, lifting your chin. Your words and actions are barely passive aggressive because you’re pouting. This makes Donghyuck scoff at your cute antics, he did feel slightly guilty though. “Hey… I told you already, I couldn’t. I had a thing… You know, a girl thing.” He tries to indirectly apologise, mirroring your sulk. This makes Jeno laugh to himself as he crosses his arms and leans back against his chair, watching the both of you. You roll your eyes again, making a small noise as you turn your head away from Donghyuck’s lean figure. “Fine, I’ll just have those movie nights with Jeno.” You remark, teasingly. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, before quickly looking toward Donghyuck for a reaction; because clearly you’re only saying so to push his buttons. “Who?” Donghyuck almost spits.

“Jeno.” You repeat his name more confidently looking at Jeno in the eye. A devilish smile forming, “Isn’t that right? You’ll watch a movie with me?” You completely ignore Donghyuck’s reaction, trying to telepathically scream at Jeno to play along. Your gaze is intense as Jeno gulps. “Yeah,” is all Jeno manages to get out of his mouth. His throat suddenly felt closed up and dry from the tension between you and Donghyuck. Jeno isn’t even looking at you - as his eyes were on Donghyuck who’s been boring holes into your head, whilst you watch Jeno. But as he looks at Donghyuck, he regrets it in a second as Donghyuck looks back. Finally acknowledging him. Jeno straightens his back, sitting up as he looks back at Donghyuck. He can’t read the look on his face, as he kicks your foot under the table for help. Silently pleading for you to say something. “Jeno is my friend,” You explain to Donghyuck, but he doesn’t seem to hear you. Donghyuck stays trained on Jeno’s figure, trying to figure out the type of relationship you both have, even though you just told him. A bit of jealousy tinges in him as he watches the way Jeno looks at you. He also heard the way Jeno kicked at your foot under the table. He didn’t like that, but you didn’t know. After a beat and a few seconds of him feeling embarrassed. Donghyuck tuts his tongue and leaves. Without looking back. You’re obviously confused, as you watch him leave. But Donghyuck always comes back to you, so you let him walk. Without putting up a fight. You sigh content that you managed to irritate Donghyuck, leaning back into your chair. “So movie night?” You grin, ignoring stunned Jeno in front of you. You begin to slowly pack your things as Jeno blinks at your actions. “He seemed more upset than usual. I don’t know-” Jeno starts, before you interrupt him. “No. He’s fine, trust me. He’ll probably call me later,” You send Jeno another reassuring smile and he feels more at ease, beginning to pack his belongings into his bag also. You both leave the library together. You walk out having small talk, mostly about this new Netflix show that premiered earlier in the week. Linking arms, to make way towards your dorm room. Jeno was easy to talk to, and you almost felt as comfortable around him as you did with Donghyuck. Of course the levels of comfort you found in Donghyuck was incomparable. You feel that Jeno thinks the same way. What you don’t notice though, is your best friend, who’s sat on a bench across the library. He’s sat with the same girl he ditched your plans for the night before. The girl's arms clung around his neck, whining about something he doesn’t even listen to. Donghyuck notices you almost right away, from the sound of your voice once you left the building of the library. He’s rarely ever saw you with a male friend and Jeno was new to him. Donghyuck thought you shared everything with him, similar to the way he does for you. And the fact that you didn’t tell him about the fellow, didn’t sit right with him. Donghyuck peels off the girl's arm, leaning forward to weigh his elbows on his knees. He holds his hands near his mouth, thinking, as he watches you walk somewhere linking arms with Jeno. Something feels heavy on his heart, seeing you hold someone else the way you’d walk around with him. Recently, if Donghyuck was honest with himself; he was dating around with different girl’s as a mechanism and a distraction for the way he’s realised he’s felt for you. He doesn’t know when it started, but he found his heart picking up a beat whenever you did the slightest unintentional thing towards him. He drove him mad, especially with the fact that he couldn’t let a single thing change whatever relationship you had for each other in this moment. Years of friendship weighed on his shoulders, tense and lined through all his veins holding him back from holding you the way his heart really wants.

“Okay,” You squeal, handing Jeno your special selection of ‘pick me up’ movies. Jeno skims through the movies and picks one. You arrived at your dorm a few minutes earlier, and so far you’ve received no call or update on Donghyuck, usually he caves in by now and gives you a call. But nothing. You shrug it off and wiggle your way to connect the movie to the projector you had in your room. You and Jeno were snug in your rather small, but comfortable enough, single bed. Knees up to your chest as a pillow laid between the both of you whilst watching. You’ve put your phone to the side, almost forgetting about Donghyuck. But he still seemed to itch the back of your mind. You tried your best to focus on the movie, trying to forget the way he walked away earlier in a strop. You side glanced at Jeno, who’s too immersed into the movie. Fighting back the thoughts but find yourself feeling a bit upset that Jeno wasn’t Donghyuck, in that moment. You do appreciate his company, of course. But it didn’t feel the same. You huff a small bit of air, reaching for your phone sneakily, ready to cave into Donghyuck’s silence to message him. But ultimately choosing not to. You decided that after the movie, which Jeno kindly accepted watching with you has ended, you’ll message Donghyuck.

The movie itself felt rather longer than you remembered, but its scenes made you forget about silly things. Making Jeno and yourself laugh until your stomach tensed and eyes were teary. You let Donghyuck slip your mind until there was a loud bang against your door. You and Jeno stop laughing, as you reach for your phone to check the time. It was 7pm, reaching late hours and also noticing 3 missed calls from Donghyuck, with a bunch of messages. Your quickest guess was that Donghyuck was at your door. “Give me a moment,” You smile at Jeno, you tell him to continue watching as you push yourself off your bed to answer the door. You swing the door open, the cool air brushing your face as you see Donghyuck standing there with a shoulder bag falling off his arm which is lifted in an attempt to knock on your door mid-way, once again. “Hyuck,” You call out for him, but he seems to be looking off behind you. “Hello… Earth to Hyuck,” you repeat.

Donghyuck notices Jeno sitting on your bed straight away. This time barely acknowledging your position calling out his name. That same heavy feeling of bitterness makes his heart beat slower and leaves his mouth with the taste of metal. Questions of: ‘Why is he in your bed?’ clouding his mind. He’s broken from his trance when he feels your warm hand clasp over his cold ones, bringing his fist down and holding it. His exterior softens, as he smiles down at you. “I’m home,” Donghyuck smiles, but you roll your eyes at him. This hurts him a little, seeing how you weren’t as excited to see him as he was seeing you.

“You’re so silly,” you express, still holding Donghyuck’s enclosed fist. You guide him inside, ushering how it’s cold outside. Your concern is warming at his heart, melting his jealousy about Jeno being sat on your bed. He slings his bag down against your dresser, crossing his arms. Eyes returning to Jeno’s frame. Jeno shifts in his seat uncomfortably, feeling a bit more tense under Donghyuck’s hard stare. “Stop trying to scare him,” You warn, playfully nudging his arm as you return back into your space on the bed. Donghyuck feels magnetic and a little over protective as he shadows your footsteps. He chuckles as he removes the pillow between you and Jeno, placing it on Jeno’s lap. He settles in between the both of you, naturally letting his arm maneuver behind your frame, pulling you into the side of his chest. You smile to yourself, easing into his warmth; both of you forgetting your tiny disagreement from earlier. “Did you have a good day?” you mumble, whispering softly as Donghyuck hums in response. His thumb soothing the side of your arm as the movie still rolls. Jeno stays silent and honestly he felt a bit out of place. But he stuck it out, glad that at least the movie was good. Once the movie ended, Jeno started to make his way out. “Thanks for the movie, Y/N. It was nice.” Jeno thanks you, while putting on his shoes. You watch him, returning his smile.

“Thanks for coming, let me know once you’ve arrived home.” You smile at him, a small fist bump to the side of his bicep for extra gratitude. Jeno smiles back at that though, already standing at your door about to leave. “See you next time.” He nods to the both of you. You watch as Jeno leaves through your hallway. He doesn’t look back. “He’s nice.” Donghyuck pulls you back in, still sitting in your bed. You turn your head from the door and smile, shutting it closed and locking it. You fall slump on your bedsheets, feet hanging off the edge of the bed ignoring his comments. Small butterflies seem to flutter in your heart, weighing down as nerves fill you. “He is really nice,” You comment back, eyes looking up at him.

“Nicer than me?” His eyebrows raise, sucking in his bottom lip to pull a face. You giggle at him, arm stretching up to lightly push his face away. Donghyuck catches your hand before you let it slide back to your side. Silence filling the room, the projector softly highlighting his features as a breath hitches in your throat. His hands feel soft as you look up into his eyes. Finding reason. You’re lost for words, because he stares down at you with an expression you’ve never seen before. “Well is he?” Donghyuck asks again, barely inaudible.

His tone of voice causes you to sit up and go closer to him. He feels small, his hand falling with yours to settle onto his lap. “You’re the nicest person I know,” You confess earnestly, trying to find his eyes. But his head is hung low.

“Really?” His voice faint, tracing small lines at the back of your hand with his thumb. “Well, you’re my best friend for a reason,” You chuckle, trying to lighten up his mood, but he doesn’t budge. He just lifts his head, gazing after your smile, fixated on the curves of your lips. He gulps down the nerves and parts his lips, mesmerised by you. “Well, what if I don’t want to be your best friend anymore?” Courage spiking, altering your moods. Now you feel small. He watches your face conform from happy to confused. You pull your hand away from him, suddenly aware of his words.

“What are you talking about?” Donghyuck just sighs, looking away from you. You stare at the side of his head awaiting his answers. Possibilities overcrowding your thoughts through his silence. After a few comfortable seconds, he turns to look at you again. Your eyes are already staring at him, making him feel weaker. “I just, I don’t like you around Jeno,” He mutters, changing the subject he originally wanted to start, cowering out of honesty. “I don’t like the way he looks at you, with that smile.” This time you try your best to hold back on your laugh. You’ve never seen him react this way to someone, you found Donghyuck rather amusing, his cuteness tightening around your heart. “So what do you like?” You tease, watching Donghyuck eyes glisten. He doesn’t reply at all, his dark eyes latching onto your attention in the quietness of your bedroom. Realisation slowly settling in your heart as your position slacks. You feel light headed, you knew him like the back of your hand, and here he was silently granting all your past wishes. His eyes scream at you, but you don’t react the way he was expecting. “That’s not fair.” you spit. Anger starts to bubble at the way he dares to confess something of that magnitude. Wordless, and out of possession. “That’s not fair at all Hyuck,” You echo, air holding your words by a thread. You push distance between you, shaking your head. “I’ve- I have been loving you for years on end,” tears start to form, glassing over your gaze, weakening your confession. “And all of a sudden, because I’m hanging around a boy too much for your ‘liking’ you claim you like me?” The sound of your voice raising a little out of disbelief. You’ve watched Donghyuck on the sidelines flirt with girls, and wave them around your face for so long. And he strolls along with a hearty smile, and his hooks so deep into your heart, vulnerable and telling you he wants you. “Crazy right? Took me to see you smile and cling around with a guy to properly find the courage to tell you. Huh?” He talks, but mostly to himself. He messes with his hair out of frustration, letting a small profanity slip his tongue. He sinks back into your pillows, beating himself up about it more than you were, from the looks of it. Donghyuck begins to mutter about how stupid he was, and that he knows it’s wrong and how silly he is for not realising. You watch him out of curiosity, seeing him have a battle with himself, telling himself off instead of you.

You’re reminded about small habits like this, in Donghyuck. Your previous annoyance drifts the longer you hear him talk bad about himself for being so idiotic and inconsiderate. You’ve decided long enough, he’s beat himself up about it for too long: you reach out, pushing his cheeks together to land a kiss onto his lips. Shutting him right up. He felt tense at first, shocked that you kissed him. But then smiles, noticing how you’ve already forgiven him. As easy as breathing, he falls into your kiss. You pull away with an angry face, “Would you shut up?” teasingly. 

Donghyuck only looks back at your face with hooded eyes and a soft smile. “Only if you kiss me again,” He whispers, his lips ghosting over yours. Your hands still framing his face, you see a spark in his eyes as he waits patiently for your kiss. He’s finally so close to you and reciprocating. You breathe out a small laugh, smiling, as you connect your lips. Granting his wish. Lips molding togethers perfectly, as his hands pull you by the waist. Pushing your bodies together, fitting effortlessly between his hold. Your thumbs grazing the sides of his face as he changes the direction of his chin, kissing you deeper. His lips are so soft, you feel like you were delving into your dreams. All your fantasies come true, as he holds you close, whispering “ I love you,” in between the gaps of your breaths. Finally becoming more than just a best friend.

[speedypandaweasel]

Change of Plans - A Yancy x Neutral! Reader

❤ REBLOGS WOULD BE APPRECIATED ❤

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 MASTERLIST

Where we left off:

So much for a lie in. You slowly rose from the cocoon of warmth you had made for yourself and you felt your toes wriggle up the bed and hiss at the exposed coldness of the room. Dragging yourself out of subconsciousness, your eyes finally decided to greet the grey interior and the black-barred window that perched just out of your arms reach. Why would they put such a tiny window if they didn’t want anyone to look out of it? Pretty pathetic actually. The Penitentiary really needed to repaint the bars, some of the black paint had flaked onto your pillow whilst you were sleeping.

You sat up, a little too quickly, and a cold, hard sensation hit the top of your body. Well good morning to you too World.

The unbearable ringing continued as you brought your arm down onto the squawking alarm clock. The room fell into a comfortable silence once more. 7:30am, not too bad, yet it could have been a little longer. Yet it was as if someone decided to balance a massive book on “how to not have a headache” on your already sore head. You’d ask Boggs for some paracetamol, or maybe some Ibuprofen as you tried to ponder on what did you do to deserve this...

~ Chapter 5 ~

MatchBox Analysis - 2.3K Words

"I'm here to speak to Officer Boggs." You timidly spoke, playing with the hem of your shirt. The man that towered in the small door frame in front of you was the most intimidating of all: Officer Rexx.

There were rumours about him that were too obscure and dangerous to mention twice, You only happen to hear about them when you overheard a couple of prisoners talking about "the anniversary" of how he lost his previous job, whatever that meant. To be frank, you didn't want to know about whatever hell hole he wriggled out of and treaded on eggshells around him, even if you weren't speaking to him. Something about that man caused you to feel insecure about something that you couldn't point your finger at, but there was no doubt that it was there.

"Yeah, he's in here." He paused for a moment. "You're one of the newer ones around here, aren't you? I've seen you around but never had the pleasure to meet."

He stuck out his grubby hand, his sausage fingers extended shortly at you, waiting for you to touch them. You grimaced before wiping that expression off your face. Rule 1: Never acknowledge the fingers.

You stuck out your hand bravely and shook his greasy one. His strong grip tightened around your knuckles as he shook hard, almost breaking your frail fingers.

"Well, I'll just go get him. Stay there." He spat. The door firmly closed behind him, the staff room's view blocked once again. You peeped through the mesh windows and managed to decipher the blurred silhouette of the sofa and coffee counter. You backed away as the door swung open again to the familiar face of Officer Boggs, his much shorter height made you relax second by the second.

"Oh hi Y/N, shouldn't you be outside?" He asked before shutting the door behind him, leaving the both of you outside in the wide hallway.

"Well I am, but I forgot to give you this from last night." You replied, planting your hand into your pocket before pulling out the owners key. Boggs let out a chuckle as his rosy cheeks grew even merrier.

"I forgot I gave you this! I'm glad that at least someone doesn't take my naivety for granted" He continued. "I respect that about you."

He unhooked the jingling keys from his beltline and clipped the Cafertiera key on the chain. He had a proud collection of keys to his name - being a veteran member of the Prison, it did have its perks.

"Well thank you, I really appreciate that Boggs. You know, sometimes I don't feel like I fit in here myself." Sounded cliche, you internally facepalmed yourself. Normally you wouldn't be telling this to anyone, but Boggs had been there since forever so it was nice to tell at least someone your true thoughts about staying here.

"Oh now don't think like that, every prisoner when they first come in her feels like that, but don't worry, I'm sure that the others will welcome you soon. Have you tried talking to them? I know you're not the socially inclined person but give it a shot. Who knows? You might actually enjoy their company" He concluded.

When Boggs gave advice, it could go two ways: either it was incredibly awful which ended in bad decisions being drawn from it, or it could be genuinely heartwarming and sincere words of wisdom. Thankfully, this was one of those pieces.

You allowed yourself to run over the speech the superior had just given and smiled. You could spark up a conversation with Yancy, you could ask him about what that poem meant! Maybe that could be the starting point of breaking out of your introverted shell.

"Thanks Boggs, I really do appreciate you." You said, before heading off outside.

"Have fun! But not too much fun, I don't want for you to get hurt!" His yells sounded down the empty corridor.

The mid-day sun blazed down on the steaming concrete, the prisoners having that work-out glow. Yancy had rolled his short sleeves even shorter, exposing his lesser-known tattoos, and his private box was stuffed in his trouser leg conveniently, away from the guard's view. If anyone found out what was in this box..well, it would ruin him.

Racing became tiresome after a couple of hours so the prisoners resorted to lazily running laps around the small quarter, this included the songbird himself.

"I tell's ya T, you wanna stop off for a few minutes? this box is gettin' uncomfortable." He protested, shifting his weight from one foot to another, finding a comfortable spot in his trouser leg.

"Why, you chickening out? Scared that someone will beat your record?" T retorted.

The prisoners slowed to a stop. Yancy regrettably paused his track game and attempted to get his ragged breath back.

"No ya dingus, it's 'cause dis box is scratchin' my skin off! I swear I's bleedin' down my shin by now."

Tiny's retort turned into concern as they pulled over to the side of the quarter. Once out of sight, Yancy slowly rolled his trouser leg up to his shin and took out the small, worn-out box from the bottom of his leg.

"Your leg hasn't been sawed off Yance, but you sure you need to keep it there? You could hurt yourself."

Yancy chortled shortly, not willing to admit that his friend was right. After what happened last time, he was going to learn from his mistakes. He rubbed his fading ankle bruise as he remembered the time he stayed in the medical ward. But the question was: where was he going put the little thing?

His eyes scanned the usual nooks and crannies that he had hid stuff in before, but word somehow got out and now everyone was using them for their secret stashes. Great - so much for having the upper hand.

His eyes continued to look for somewhere to stuff the thing until his ears pricked up on the outside door swinging open. His frustrated face broke into a smile as he saw you walk out timidly, and perching on a weight bench.

"Here, can youse hang on to it for a hot minute, just don't open it alight," He said, his curious eyes never leaving your sight.

Tiny was startled. The Boss never let them hold anything of his, let alone the one thing he persistently never left out of his sight. Tiny slipped the matchbox into their shoe before taking a squat down the brick wall as they watched their mate stride over to the newbie, but chose not to follow suit.

You picked at the seat cushion like it was the most interesting thing ever to you, whilst plucking up the courage to go and talk to the most confident person out here. Your eyes managed to look up. partially blinded from the sun but saw the small huddles of prisoners near the water pitches, walking around, or down by the blind spot. Guards stood at every entrance broadly, letting people in and out of the area, their moist uniforms made you wonder how the hell they managed to keep composure in this heat.

Your moment abruptly came as you saw the man of the hour coming towards you, his wide shoulders fully exposed to the heats rays. You knew he worked but w-w-wow.

"Finally decided to join in the fun eh?" He sprung up the conversation.

Chuckling, you look down, embarrassed and in amusement "And I'm guessing that this is the newest trouser look. Is this asymmetric chic? or is this just you trying to use illusion to become taller?" You threw a double whammy at him.

Yancy's shocked eyes bored into your own mischievous ones for a brisk moment. Suddenly, he exaggeratedly placed a hand on his chest before crumbling to the grass floor. "Oh de pain! I can't bear it anymore! Not another short joke!"

Other people around the quarter edge were starting to laugh along with his flailing and happily applauded when he finished his piece. The cheering and jeering died down as the conversation drifted back to normal, as Yancy dragged his trouser leg down and sidled up next to you and he bumped his hard shoulder next to yours.

"What a Drama Queen." You continued, letting out a small smile.

"What can I's say, I got's to get ma training in somewhere." He replied "So how's it been with you? Finish dat book yet?"

It was as if he read your mind! The topic of the poetry book caught your attention as you chipped away at your social shell. "Uh, not yet, but I did want to ask you a couple of questions about poem 19. You know, the one you recommended I read?"

The prisoner stretched his arms and placed them behind himself. "Oh yeah! It's one of ma favourites! I personally thinks its about de good and bad sides to love and once you've actually caught feelings for someone, it pains you to do things dat even surprise yaself. Youse got me?"

You would have never known that Yancy had a passion for literature, just listening to him made you even more dedicated to spending time with him. Boggs was right with his advice, it didn't bruise your ego that bad to socialise with new people, as it made you question what other things the man had up it sleeve - or trouser leg.

You rephrased yourself, "Ok then Yance, do you read poems often then?" your feet started to dance around the grassy floor, flattening pieces of green.

"So do you analyse poems often then Yancy?"

The man interrupted you "Oh please, call me Yance, only the big dog calls me Yancy."

"I used to when I was a youngin', my family hads a nice library ya see. Dey's had Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and some oder authors I can't remember but when youse a fabulous actor like myself, you gotta keep up ya noggin' in check." He smiled and looked out onto the busy area, almost reminiscing about his past life.

He never liked to bring up the subject of his past but when Yacny was with you, it felt- right. To finally talk about childhood memories and just laugh about them, instead of it always being dragged back to the soul reason why he was locked up at Happy Trails in the first place.

His strong arm planted on the side of your small shoulder as he gave you a tight squeeze. "How about youse? Do you read?"

"I-Uh... I"

Words formed in your mouth, yet your tongue was on holiday, not responding to any sentence your brain was throwing at you. Butterflies were born in your stomach as your face started to feel warm, too warm for your liking. What was happening? Were you having sunstroke!?

"Youse ok? Ya looking a little warm d'ere" Yancy said, dropping his arm from your side. "Youse want me to go grab you some water?"

This signalled your tongue to finally come back to work. "Oh. No, I'm fine thanks and yeah, I read, that's what I was going to ask about you actually." You said, forcing confidence.

"No way! Heh, I guess great minds think alike huh?" He replied, grinning his addicting smile. He looked over to where he left Tiny and an idea sprung in his scheming mind. "Hey, youse wanna come over to the wall, I got's a friend who you could meet. I mean, only if you wanna?" Yancy laughed, trying to sweetly coax you deeper into socialisation.

You hesitated. This man sure was alluring, but risking another episode like that caused you to reconsider. You bit your bottom lip, slightly, your eyebrows became sewn together as you weighted up your options. Either go over and run your social battery out completely, or decline and recover from this moment.

"Thanks Yance, but I think I'm done for the day." You responded. "All this talking and warm heat" and maybe some other things "has made my head spin a little."

"Ok, well if youse's sure." Yancy stood up once more and punched your shoulder "See you around Keys!"

You saw him walk back to his mate and sit down together under the shade of the building. You blissfully made your way back inside of Happy Trails, back with you and your own thoughts.

Its blasting air conditioner made your arms tingle as you pulled out a chair in the Cafeteria and went to reach for the poetry book. The silence hung much thicker in the air as you sat uncomfortably. Is this what withdrawal felt like? To be isolated not a minute after being surrounded by people. You kind of missed the feeling of having someone to talk to, but everyone had their boundaries - even you. You tried not to linger on the thought of feeling like you let Yancy down. He gave you the opportunity to help you overcome your fears but you didn't take it. Maybe next time you would take it, but for now, you did something new today: You should be proud of yourself.

You scanned around at the empty chairs and tables, the occasional guard whistling by the Cafeteria's door frame before you brought your head to the window. Your eyes soon spotted Yancy sashaying around with his friend. They must have said something funny because he soon showed his pearly whites, his chest rising and falling as his strong hand clutched his chest. Your eyes couldn't tear themselves away from this scene. The jailbird was the only person who actually tried with you. Smiling to yourself, you looked back up and your breath hitched. He was looking directly back at you and giving you a small wave. His smaller companion followed suit, shooting their hand straight up, frantically joining in. You sheepishly waved back before opening the book from you left off.

"Missed me Y/N?"

[darkenedreaper]

The Forgotten Avenger

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Avengers x reader.

Warnings: angst, violence, fluff

Words: a goddamn lot (some lyrics)

You were a quiet one. A strong one. Not courageous. But fearless. You had lost a lot of your confidence a while back. You had also lost a lot of hope back when Natasha viciously broke up with you to be with Bruce. She had caused a lot of heartbreak to you because of how she was nearing to the end of your relationship. She was quite a closed off person, but around you she was so free. It all changed within a matter of months. She had become much more distant to you, leaving you to do the usual couple things in your own. Not telling you when she’s be going out on missions. The final fight had started when you had asked her where she’d been all afternoon and she flipped about having her privacy. She came across as so selfish that she couldn’t see the weight loss in you, the darkening bags under your eyes due to the lack of sleep from not having your girlfriend of 2 years by your side. She had raised her voice at you, called you name and really she was just taking her anger out on you and didn’t even react to think about how she was affecting you. She had told you it was over and you walked out slowly shutting the door behind you. You had gone to the training room. And you hid in the room where skate equipment was kept. Your tears were fast but your face was neutral. The only sounds coming from you were little sniffs.

It was now months later and you still had your deteriorated look. The team obviously knew about everything and cared tremendously about you, but you wanted to be left alone. Steve often left meals outside your meals for you and you’d feel his familiar weight in the bed late at night when he’d come to check up on you. Tony had resorted to always making you smile with his jokes and keeping you occupied with his jobs. And Clint had made a new nickname for you. Chip. Because, well you looked like a chip. As for Natasha and Bruce you kept well away from them. Anytime you saw them or, even the thought of them together made your stomach tremble. You may have gotten skinner, but your muscles had gotten stronger, so strong you could pin down Cap and Tony in his suit. Your emerging strength didn’t go unnoticed by the team and they were proud of you. Was Natasha? You could never no. Due to your strength, this is how you had gotten paired up with Bruce. He had formed a new injection for himself which kept him human, just gave him half of the hulks strength. Which was about 3 of Cap.

You had stood at the ring, opposite Bruce. He was never one for violence but he knew that his precious girlfriend was watching and so of course he wanted to impress her. Steve blew the whistle and you lunged at him. You grabbed his neck and he did the same. You pulled your heads together and started kneeing each other’s abdomen. Several grunts came from the pair of you before you managed to flip him up and over your shoulder, but he was quick to get back up on his feet and as he did, he sent a launch to your stomach causing you to double over before he landed one at your face, making your nostril bleed. You then punched his ribs twice, his head once, and you swiped his legs out caused his to land straight in his back. He had tried to crawl away but you were quick to react as you grabbed his shoulders and wrapped your arms around his neck securing him into a strangling headlock.

He clawed at your arms and the team was getting concerned from the growing redness of his face. You spat out with your jaw clenched and through your teeth you spoke,

“Tap out.”

“Tap. Out.”

He constantly hit the ground with his palm until you pushed him forward, landing face front onto the mat. You picked yourself up and exited the ring. The team always had Doctor Cho on sight in case of any serious injuries, and she pulled you away, wanting to asses your bloody nose.

You didn’t know that she had watched your every move. You didn’t know how she saw the weight loss and how concerned she became, although she never showed it. You didn’t know that each time after scolding you in some form, she’d hang her head low, doing her best not to cry. You didn’t know why she treated you like she did, why she pushed you away, why she fell out of love with you.

But she did. She knew why she was so cold towards you, because you were the best thing that happened to her and so she thought it best to begin to hate you, in order for you to realise you need someone better than her. She knew how much she hurt you, the thought bringing tears to her eyes. She knew you’d done nothing wrong. She knew you still loved her and she knew that she still loved you with everything she had, if only you knew.

Doctor Cho had taken you to the med bay and had finally stopped your nosebleed. She had dismissed you with a comforting look on her face as she had to attend to the Avengers a lot, which meant getting in on the gossip. As well as being a fabulous doctor she was a great listener. And you were grateful for her.

You made your way to the kitchen, you nodded to Tony as he begun to tell you about the film he was watching. Tony was always a favourite of yours. And visa versa. You had grabbed a bottle of fresh water from the fridge and sat down next to him on the sofa. As you sat forward, he had saw some of your bones sticking through your shirt but the new muscles covers them up, giving you a strong and bulky look.

Steve had admired you always for that. He knew what he was. A small man who was bullied for his small size but he then grew due to the serum. You reminded him a little of his old self, lonely and had pushed yourself away from society. So he admired the way you grew yourself. You could’ve chosen to become bones but you took advantage and built up your muscles.

It hadn’t given you more fame, not that you wanted it too. Because of the breakup months ago, you hid away and always avoided any fan or paparazzi. They quickly decided to move onto another Avenger to harass. And soon enough you were forgotten. Your name had still appeared on the news if you’d just saved the city. But it was Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Thor, Hulk and Agent L/N. You didn’t get special thanks like the rest anymore, you were invite to galas and parties, but certainly weren’t involved. So you had just stopped appearing. And amongst the young ones, the teenagers and older folks, they would cheer as Thor being the Chosen One, and they would joke about you being the Forgotten One.

Your attention was dragged away from the TV as Bruce walked in with a sour look on his face as he had called out your name. You stood up to him, Tony had turned down the television and Steve had turned around to see what the commotion was. Natasha followed close behind as she stopped a little to the left of him. As he walked over and put his arm around her waist, she placed her right hand on his chest. Something she always did with you.

You made sure your scowl and disapproving look didn’t go unnoticed. He had started to ramble on about how you embarrassed him on the training mat. He then went on to insult your ways of attacking and defence. This was when Bucky had stepped in. He placed his cold metal hand on your shoulder.

“Bruce, that’s not fair and it needs to stop now, you’ve said enough.”

Said Bucky with a calm voice and his soothing method of using his hand to run circles around your back. You and Bucky were always good friends, you somehow had a connection to understand each other and talk with each other, differently to how the rest would communicate with him. He patted your back and walked over to Steve and checked up on the eggs he was making. Bruce then pointed at the white strip across his nose, a split from where you shoved him down on the mat, face first. You couldn’t help but snigger at the plaster on his nose as he raises both eyebrows questioning if you actually just laughed. You confirmed his question with a nod and an amused smile on your face. He walked off with Natasha, still holding her possessively by his side. You sighed and so you stormed off to your room waiting until night came upon New York.

Little did the team know that when they’d wake up, you wouldn’t be there. You would be gone. Phone left behind, belongings left. Except for your new black Kevlar suit, that had hints of gold on it. You had taken your guns and your swords that ranged from machetes and katanas to pockets knives.

Morning came. Clint panicked when he saw you were gone. Honestly he saw it coming. He rushed away to get the team. They all panicked then. Steve and Tony were frantic ringing and texting your phone, only to be called a pair of dummies by Wanda as she ran back to them with your phone in hand. Bucky and Sam had stayed silent. A pain grew in Buckys chest as they had no idea what time you left, but already knowing you weren’t going to be back, made his heart hurt. Bruce had gotten in on the conversation only to start to feel guilty. And Natasha had just listens from the doorway. Her heart actually stopped beating when she heard Clint yelling down the corridors, ‘She’s gone!’ She swallowed the lump in her throat as she walked as fast as she could to her office, desperately doing everything she could to track you down. She’d be laughing right now if it weren’t for your disappearance. She’d be laughing at your excellent skills of going right off the grid.

It was several months later, about a year and 3 months you’d be gone. The team wallowed. They missed you dreadfully.

Tony had nearly gone back to drinking, but he had his beautiful wife and gorgeous little girl to take away the pain.

Steve was going through 30 punch bags a week and was ordered by Fury to find something else to take his frustration out on.

Clint had returned to his farm, often visiting. His heart hurt when he had to lie to his children about when you could visit, and Laura hurt just as much, missing you, wanting to see one of her best friends again.

Thor had somehow got fatter. Probably from stress eating and the amount of beers he chugged day after day.

Bruce felt guilty, even more guilty after Natasha broke up with him, realising how hurt you were without her, he came to his senses.

Wanda and Vision tried to ease the teams’ minds, trying to cheer them up with a family day out, or a family meal cooked, or a family game night. But they couldn’t convince themselves let alone the team that it was family anything without you.

Bucky had nearly become depressed if it wasn’t for Sam by his side. They both missed you and had their own attempts at trying to find you and bring you back home. And each attempt failed.

Natasha. She hurt like she’s never hurt before. She felt guilty, evil, and most of the time she was upset. Never in front of anyone no. Perhaps Steve, but no one. She did her crying in your room. She’d crawl underneath your covers and snuggled up to your pillows wishing that something would lead you to her. She had so many things to say to you, so much to apologise for. And if you were going to give her a chance, she’d take it in a heartbeat. If she had a nightmare it would be about you leaving or, you coming back with someone else. Or she’d see you in public with a wedding ring on and a baby by your side. She’d dream about stuff others wouldn’t call nightmares. This one was particularly bad. It was more of a flashback.

“Sometimes I swear I think you hate me Natasha.”

“Well what would you do if I said I did.”

You didn’t do anything, just looked at the ground. You had to say something, perhaps it would spark something good in her again.

“Who are you, coz your not the girl I fell in love with.”

She actually had a shocked look on her face, the anger now subsided, disappeared.

“Baby, who are you. Coz something has changed, and your not the same. I hate it.”

She had stood, a few feet away from you. Her eyes were on you, her face had a sorrowful look. As usual you would be told you get out, leave or you’d be pushed towards the door and took the hint. So you made your way to the door and left.

She was still speechless. Tears had now filled up her eyes now you’d left. Does what you said mean you don’t love her anymore? Had she gone too far?

She woke up breathing heavily and the pillow was wet, she’d be crying in her sleep. She frantically turned over in your bed, hoping you’d be there to calm her. But your weren’t. You were never in your shared bed anymore as she kicked you out from her room, telling you to sleep on the couch.

She decide that she’d hurt you enough. She jolted up out of bed and went to her office, number ours of failed attempts to find you were located in a separate file. She had even tried Russia. No luck there. She tried your old house, your temporary apartment. She’d called about every single motel or hotel there was within a 5000 mile radius. She sat down, head in her hands, she was about to cry. Whenever she cried, no matter if you’d just had an argument or if she had kicked you out, you always held her, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances in her ear. Brushing her hair softly with your hair and rubbing smooth patterns up and down her back as she would tuck her head underneath your chin and into your neck, seeing as she was smaller than you it was always possible. Happy memories were put to the back of her mind as in outside of Tokyo, a tiny little green dot was flashing on her map, which appeared to be moving to the centre of Tokyo. She had to take a moment for her to realise she’d found you. She also needed to realise that she set off an anger in you, the anger covering up the pain she’d struck you with day after day. She left Jarvis a message for the team to listen to when they got back. She already had gotten dressed, she was dressed in a black think jumper, black pants with combat boots and over that she had a long black coat. As she was on her way to one of the Quinjets she stopped in her tracks.

“Bring her back. Please.”

Spoke the man with the metal arm who wore one of his t-shirts you’d bought him. The t-shirt had a simple design, it was his red star with his lines going through it. And around the small logo were stars. He admired it the most, even a t-shirt could mean so much to him. She nodded her head, not promising anything, but giving him something to hold onto.

TOKYO

Your target charged towards you, his sword pouted at you, but the heavy rain blurred his vision as well as your highly skilled tactics. You spun on your feet making his sword zoom right past you and with one quick swipe, you drew your blade across his throat, making him collapse on his knees, his sword now misplaced. He held his hand out while his other grabbed his throat. He spurted out,

“待つ！助けて！”

“何でもあげます！”

“なんでしょう？”

“What I want. You can’t give me.”

You lifted up your sword and punctured it through his chest. You kept it there for a few seconds before harshly lifting it out of him and wiping it on your arms, clearing it of the blood. You let the sound of the rain take over your thoughts as you pushed back your hood, and you pulled off your tight mask that covered all of your face and neck, but your eyes. Of course you could sense the presence behind you.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

You said, not turning around, instead keeping your eyes trained ahead of you.

“Neither should you.”

You sighed inwardly before turning around it make eye contact with the woman. Natasha stood their all in black, she looked small, tired, depressed, guilty and heartbroken. She was holding a black umbrella shielding her from the pain. You had turned your body to the side and took your eyes away from her, the familiar feeling of warmth from her eyes kicking your gut.

“I’ve gotta job to do.” You said throwing your mask onto the wet floor.

“Is that what your calling this?” Your turned your head slightly towards her.

“Killing all these people isn’t going to change anything.”

You were still taking heavy breathes, your adrenaline just starting to wear off as you found Natasha to be no threat.

“I came here for you. Would you come back? Maybe?”

As you turned to look at hear again. You had a close up of her eyes as they looked red and bloodshot. You caught sight of a tear slipping out from the corner of one. You eyes also turned sad, thankful for the rain falling down your face, getting your hair wet and dripping onto your suit. You shook your head lightly.

“Don’t.”

She studied you carefully and trying not to break her voice she almost pleaded.

“Don’t what.”

You gave her a tired look. You were run down.

“Don’t give me hope.”

She sighed and her face caved in and she nearly broke into pieces.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give it too you sooner.”

You knew how sorry she was, and now you understood she’d been sorry the whole time. She had a hard past, and you’d give her time to make up for it. You promised yourself and her you would. You gave her a light hearted lifeless smile as you ducked your head once again. You felt cautious fingers wriggling their way into your palm before you engulfed her hand with yours. She was crying now. She hated seeing you so weak, so broken. She placed her umbrella to the aide of her as she moved to the front of you. Hands now resting on your shoulders as she wiped away the leaking blood on your cheek from a slash Akihiko must’ve left. You didn’t have the strength to look up as you felt some happiness from her. She cupped you’re face and she pulled you into her embrace. Her arms snakes their way around your back and shoulders and she had a grip on you. Your arms came to rest loosely around her waist, but with a firm grasp. She put her hand on the back of your head and lowered it into the crook of her neck. She felt your soft breathes on her neck and she enjoyed it.

You both stayed there for what seemed like hours, letting the rain coat the both of you. You couldn’t feel anymore anger towards her, because being in her embrace, her soft voice constantly telling you how sorry she was and promising you to make up for it. Begs and pleads that you wouldn’t leave her again and she would never be so stupid to turn you away. Her streams of tears had died down after you spoke back to her.

“I want you and only you forever Tash.”

She had the biggest smile on your face and you could feel her jaw stretch from how wide her smile was. She repeated the sentence back to, her words holding so much love.

The entire ride back to the compound was Natasha telling you how sorry she was and she was a shaking mess in your arms. As soon as you’d gotten back onto the Quinjet, your suit off as you only wore a thin black jumper like she had. Although hers was yours. You also wore tight fitting pants along with combat boots. You had held each other, cried with each other, and you had kissed each other. It was a sweet kiss, as she pulled you deeper by pulling your top. Your arms were sitting perfectly around her waist and her hands came to rest in your hair and onto your strong shoulders. You pulled apart for a breath and a smile at each other and rested your foreheads against each other. You stayed like that until the Natasha had to land the Quinjet.

It was just getting to the break of dawn, and you saw the team anxiously waiting and praying Natasha had you by her side. You both stepped out with smiles on your faces. You heard relieved breaths and they could see you were the old you again and they had rightly assumed you and Natasha were mending and on the way to a second chance of a beautiful relationship. Tony rushed over to you checking you for injuries. He grazed his thumb over the fresh cut in your face that Natasha had put butterfly stitches into. He smiled at you with those big brown puppy eyes and wrapped hisself around your torso.

Steve did the same thing and you heard him sniffle into your shoulder before he pulled away and looked at you with a smile on his face. Clint had brought Laura and the kids and they wasted no time with wrapping themselves around your legs. Clint pulled you into a bear hug. Holding tightly onto you. Laura wrapped her arms around your shoulders as she had tears in her eyes.

Thor chucked, grasping your hands, kissing them and hugging you.

Wanda did the exact same thing, stroking your hair and Vision patted your shoulder giving it a slightly squeeze.

Bucky came up to you and scolded you slightly before giving you the sweetest smile as he encased you with his strong embrace. He ruffles your hair, as you always did to him.

Bruce slowly walked up to you. You both tensed up a little bit he extended his hand and you took it. You side hugged each other as he whispered a meaningful apology in your ear.

After the team was done talking to you and reassuring you, they all hurried you down to Med Bay because they were concerned about your hurting side. Natasha was constantly holding your hand, or her fist was balled up in your shirt not letting you go.

Dr Cho greeted you with a small simple hug and a welcome back. After you had been assessed, you exited the Med Bay, Natashas arm wrapped around yours, fingers linked. Fury was there. He walked up to you and he extended his hand and as you shook yours he held your forearm and bet down,

“Welcome back Y/N.”

You gave him a smile, he knew it meant a lot. Maria held you tightly as she whispered how worried she was about you. She held you there for a minute or two.

You and Natasha headed back to your room. The room was untouched, your photos still there, clothes still there, everything was in place. Except for the bed sheets were Natasha had been staying. She had refused to let go off your hand only letting you go to get a shower. Which you were soon done in. Once you had gotten changed into one of your favourite oversized t-shirts, you found Natasha sitting on the bed in one of you t-shirts aswell. She stood up and pulled you over to the bed, each sleeping on your sides before you curled up to each other.

“I love you Y/N. I’m so, so so sorry.”

“I know my love. Rest now, I love you too.”

Within the morning, you were back on the news, social media blowing up as Jarvis took care of everyone’s jobs as they were still all asleep at 11 in the morning. They had all gotten the best sleep since you returned a few hours ago. It meant that their hearts were at ease and their brains could rest. You and Natasha were still curled up but she was awake. She was stroking your hair, admiring your beauty as she realised how tired you were.

“I’m a fool. I’m a fool for hurting you, for letting you go. And I’ll never do it again. You are the one for me Y/N. It scares me to death that you could’ve pushed me away when I hugged you. I want to sled my life with you Y/N L/N. I love you. More than life.”

She whispered while watching you. She had said it with devotion, sincerity and love. Her smile grew a little when she watched your lips turn up.

“I love you too Natasha Romanoff.”

She kissed your forehead and returned to sleep, next to you and with you forever.

[syinisuga]

Begin Again [MinYoongi]

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Word count : 5.2K

Genre : Fluff and Angst

Description : Friends to lovers, Long Distance relationship, Lovers to (?)

Summary : when you thought the friendship you once had with him died away after one silly mistake, and you thought you would never have again what you lost;

But it blossoms back unexpectedly stronger and is slowly growing to be something more beautiful than you ever had

"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end;

But on a Wednesday in a cafe i watched it Begin Again"

--------------------✨📖✨---------------------

It was the start of a new year and you weren't particularly happy about being moved up a few classes into an entirely new class with relatively new students you haven't personally met yet. You were still grateful for your good results in the past year to have you land in such a good class. In all honesty though, you did miss your friends from your old class, all of them being scattered in the back classes however changed your mind about being thankful that you're at least in a better one. The first few days of getting used to the classes went by rather slowly as you were listening to the introductions of the other students and teachers half mindedly, till around your 4th day into the classes that is.

You were randomly seated in the Chemistry lab by the teacher as she familiarised herself with the rest of the class. Not paying much attention you were spacing out, resting your chin on your palm, tapping away at your cheek.

" Um, hey there"

The voice from the stool next to you spoke. You turned your head to the direction of the voice, being met with warm brown eyes looking right at you. He had soft black hair, eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn't slept well the night before, lips curled up in a slight smile as he looked at you.

"Oh, hello"

you answered, trying not to sound overly shocked at the first human interaction you've had in this new class.

"I'm yoongi, what's your name?"

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you Yoongi"

"So what are your interests? What do you like to do y/n? Any hobbies?"

It definitely took you by surprise when this boy you've never really met before was suddenly making an interest to get to know you more. Something about him felt raw and not shy but in a good way.

"Well i really love listening to music and i do indulge in art as well. Spend most of my time listening to songs while drawing. Draw the mood of the song you know?"

"Damn, haha you sound kinda like me. Not tryna be cheesy or anything but i love listening to music too, I'm shit at drawing tho, i can barely draw a stickman"

Both of you exchanged a little chuckle at his open confession about himself. And even though it had only been a few minutes of words between the two of you, you felt at that moment that he wasn't like the other boys who popped up to talk to you first. This one genuinely seemed interested in you just to make a new friend.

-----------------------🤝------------------------

"Yo y/n you wanna ditch PE and hang out in the library? The new Resident Evil movie came out we can watch"

"You know what, yeah let's yeet"

You don't know how it went from spending lunch times together, to skipping the most boring subjects to hang out and hide. It'd been a few months since you started your new friendship with Yoongi, and by now you were known as the inseparable duo, funny enough both of you became the class representatives. Somehow you two got closer and closer each day, the more you talked the more you felt like you've known each other for years, yet some part of you knew that there was more to Yoongi than he was showing to you.

On a particularly slow day at your classes, you and Yoongi had pre planned to sneak out to hang out at your usual spot in the library. Sitting at the back of the library the both of you laughed at a joke Yoongi made about how almost the whole school shipped the both of you.

"You know y/n, I envy you"

"Oh well, I know I'm fabulous" you playfully said as you flipped your hair back, earning a little grunt and a harmless eye roll from Yoongi.

"It's not that you loonatic, i envy you...cause you have such a nice relationship with your family"

His sudden statement caught you slightly off guard but you gave him a look, clearly eager to know the reason behind his words. Flashing half a smile towards you he starts his story.

"Growing up for me was, well, it was an experience. I grew up under the care of foster parents who constantly reminded me that my parents gave me away cause i was a burden, all my life that's what i was told. Never had a father figure or mother figure to help shape my emotions? Guess that's why I don't show it if I'm sad or depressed, which is actually most of the time"

he looks down at his hands and chuckles softly.

"But you know something y/n? Being with you makes me feel like I could be myself, like I don't have to be afraid of being judged. And that's why I wanted you to know the truth but i understand if you don't wanna get involved or-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yoongi, i want you to know that I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me about this anytime okay? You're my best friend now! And I'm hoping I'm yours too?" You ask in a more playful tone making yoongi giggle.

"Of course you are"

"Good! Cause i come in a package deal of crackhead and supportive as well as a no return contract"

"Sounds perfect to me bestie"

-----------------------😚------------------------

Over 2 years had passed and the whole highschool down to the teachers were sure the two of you were in a relationship, as everyone saw the two of you being practically stuck together almost all the time. Yoongi and your friendship became stronger than ever since that day he decided to open up to you. It became a regular thing where you'd confide in each other for emotional comfort as well as motivation and support. Not missing the fact that your level of crackhead together had become an all time high.

Your finals and exams blasted through and you had spent all your study weeks with Yoongi in the library. As sketchy as it was you and your best friend actually did sincere studying. And as it would, your hard work together paid off earning the both of you high marks in your finals. The two of you didn't miss to make a trademark crackhead scene at the receiving of the scroll ceremony when you accidentally tripped on your shoelace and Yoongi cracked up laughing and clapping before helping you up. The two of you celebrate with drinks and a lot of food that night and Yoongi paid for everything to make it up to you for laughing when you fell.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before heading out to your highschool's hall. It was your graduation party but more importantly to you it was Yoongi's birthday. Coincidentally the two events had fallen on the same day, and what better opportunity than to get dressed up to party at your graduation ceremony together. It had been a heck of a ride these last two years, and you were going to make sure this last school event would be memorable.

Upon arriving you scan around the hall of students in search of the familiar face.

"Looking for me?"

He makes his presence behind you known by clearing his throat. You turn around to give your usual playful comment back but the words were caught in your throat as your gaze landed on your best friend. He was dressed smart, in a suit that looked like it was custom made to fit him, his hair in a side part and bangs neatly framing his face. You were so used to seeing him in his casual hoodies and ripped jeans that seeing him in formal wear made you choke on your words.

Too focused on getting your senses back in check, you don't notice how Yoongi's train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks as he watched you turn around to face him. He never pictured his crackhead of a best friend in something other than t-shirts and track pants. Seeing you in a dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and taking in the sight of you, with your makeup and hair all done to suit the dress you were wearing nearly made him pass out from how he was holding his breath to admire you.

Clearing the silence between the two of you, Yoongi speaks up first.

"Well well, you don't completely look like the satanic spawn of hot cheetos and depression today. You actually look pretty good"

Smirking a little smile you bite back at his comment.

"Well same to you too Mr. I'm a millennial emo teen. You actually look, presentable today"

The two of you exchanged a playful giggle and assumed your seats at your class tables as the ceremony went on.

You don't see the small glances Yoongi takes in your direction, the thoughts gushing through his mind about how you looked at the moment and cursing himself for not realising your features sooner. He admired the way you had chosen to dress up today, seeing the way you had styled your hair so your curls would frame your face, the way you had done your makeup in a more natural looking way that he thought suited you perfectly. Yoongi didn't remember when the unlabeled feelings for you came but the longer he looked at you the more he was starting to put a name to the feelings he had. So much so that he had completely spaced out in his thoughts of you like that he didn't realise you were speaking to him.

" -don't you think so Yoongi?"

"I'm sorry what did you say? The umm, the music is so loud"

"I saaaaiiddd it's beginning to get a little dull at this graduation ceremony, we need a little surprise, don't you think?"

"Surprise?? What kind of surprise?"

Flashing a smile his way you get up and walk towards the front of the hall where the ceremony host was finishing up their ending speech. Whispering into the host's ear, he gives you the microphone and you confidently stride to the front. But you accidentally go too close to the speaker and it lets out an unpleasant squee, making you move back and away a little. You look up and around finding your best friend's eyes looking back at you giggling at the scene that just occured.

"Well that's one way to get everyone's attention" you chuckle earning muffled chuckles and words from the hall.

"So firstly congrats to everyone on graduating y'all did it. But that's not why I'm up here right now. Today is a special day for someone, and since it's the last day we'll all be gathering I wanted to make this memorable for him. So everyone I would like to wish out here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN YOONGI"

you started to sing happy birthday and the rest of the hall joined in singing with you.

In all this happening, Yoongi could only focus on you, the way you just boldly got up to sing out loud and wish him Happy Birthday in the most "you" way possible. So he didn't know if it was the moment or if it was his unlabeled feelings overflowing for you, that he got up and walked towards you as the song was ending. He couldn't tell what came over him at that moment but he knew for sure he wasn't going to stop what he was about to do next. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he leaned in, pressing his soft lips to yours. Kissing you with deep feelings overtaking his mind. The moment his lips touched yours he knew what those unlabeled feelings were, it was Love.

You couldn't process fast enough that your best friend was striding towards you with a goal, a desire. And you surely didn't expect for him to suddenly kiss you. Registering the feeling of his lips on yours, your eyes closed on their own as if on automatic response. You sank into the feeling of his lips, and it was then you felt the spark that ignited your own unlabeled feelings for Yoongi. You had definitely asked yourself countless times before if what you were feeling for Yoongi was more than just friendship. On the countless nights he had cried on your shoulder or when you cried on his, on the many occasions where you were both always partners in crime, you would always glance at Yoongi and wonder what more could there be to the feelings between you.

As the both of you slowly pulled away from each other a roaring sound of cheers erupted as it seemed to be that the two of you were the last ones to know you two were actually in love with each other. Taking your hand in his, Yoongi and you ran out of the hall that night knowing well where the two of you stood from that moment on.

-----------------------❤️------------------------

"No babe I think you should definitely take the opportunity to study there, I know it's far but it'll be really good for you, plus it's something you really like! It'll take some time for you to get used to the new place but i know you'll fit right in. In fact i know your wack ass would stand out"

You giggled at his comment but you wholeheartedly took his motivation and advice. But the question and thoughts still lingered in your mind as you heard Yoongi chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"But Yoongi, this means we'd be in a long distance relationship, with you going off to study in the opposite direction and all. Even our breaks don't match Yoongi.. what'll we do" the worrying tone in your voice didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi as he answered you in a calm reassuring tone.

"It'll take some work, but i know we can get through this okay? We'll make it, we can make it. I love you" you smiled at Yoongi's voice uttering the sweet words of love as you felt yourself calm your thoughts.

"I love you too Yoongi. Well then, keep me company while i pack?"

"You bet"

It had been a few months since you started dating, and honestly it didn't feel any different from when the two of you were in your phase of friendship, everything was going relatively smooth apart from the little fights and misunderstandings you had now that you were a couple. Sometimes you sit to think to yourself if moving into a relationship with Yoongi was the best choice, it would feel as though sometimes he would act differently and not like he always would but you just shake of the thoughts. You just figured with all these future college studies and intakes coming about that he was just as stressed as you were. You assured yourself that the two of you would be alright and that you'll always have each other.

A few more months pass and the two of you have already started your college lives. Yoongi being in a campus almost 8 hours away from you with minimal transport for him to even go home let alone plan to meet you. It was going smoothly, settling into orientation and getting to know the layouts of the campus well, meeting new friends and truly taking in your next step in education. You and Yoongi would exchange day to day text messages about how orientation and the first days of classes went.

All well and good till Yoongi's texts became slower and less frequent, he would always say that he's busy with his friends there, or straight up not giving a response at all. You became more and more fearful at how this long distance thing was going to work out for the two of you.

28th Tuesday

[12:27am] hey Yoongi! I hope you had a great day, I miss you and hope you sleep well, love you!

[08:40am] Hey Babe, good morning! I'm in class now, wishing we could skip like old times haha, hope you have a great day! Text me soon

[6:48pm] Hey i just got back to my dorm after classes, it was super fun! How was your day??

[8:11pm] Yoongi?? Are you okay? Are you busy babe?

[8:24pm] I miss youuuuuuuu :(

[10:16pm] Yoongi :(

You tossed your phone to the side of your bed as you felt your tears well up, why was he suddenly avoiding you? Is he okay?? Did he get hurt? Your thoughts were spiraling, getting messier till you heard the familiar ping from your phone. You scurried to your phone to see Yoongi's name pop up on the screen. Your smile quickly faded, replaced by disappointment at his reply.

[10:43pm] Hey, was busy with friends today, going to bed now ttyl <3

You frowned and wouldn't let him go this time. The days of short texts to unreplied texts and this is how he replies now? In a fit of fury you call him.

"Hello?-"

"Yoongi what's wrong? You haven't been replying to my texts as usual are you okay??"

"Mmh I'm fine, just busy with classes and my new friends y/n"

"Well I can't accept that answer Yoongi, I'm busy with classes and friend's here too but I take the time so why can't you?"

"Hey it's not that big of a deal y/n, we're in new environments now and it'll take me some time to settle in"

"Yoongi surely you have at least 5 minutes a day to text me??"

"Yeah of course I do, I just texted you didn't i?"

"That short ass reply was what you call a text Yoongi? It really sounds like you're avoiding me"

"You know what y/n I don't have time for this right now I'm tired"

"No Yoongi, I haven't talked to you properly in days come on don't you miss me Yoongi?"

"To be honest I've been enjoying the new company here that's I haven't missed you much"

"What do you mean Yoongi? You don't think of me?"

"Not all the time no, i have other things to think about here y/n i have new responsibilities here I can't be thinking about you all the damn time, just be happy I texted you back"

"Are you threatening to not text me anymore Yoongi? Is that what you're saying? You don't wanna talk to me anymore?"

"Oh god for fucks sake y/n stop being so clingy alright? Just grow up a little!"

The sound of his voice in heightened frustration made you choke on your words, you silenced yourself as his words rang loud in your head.

"You know what y/n I don't think this will work out, I'm going to get even busier and this will just be in the way of it all"

"Yoongi…"

"I'm sorry y/n but clearly this distance is proving that we won't work out"

"Are you... breaking up with me Yoongi?.."

The pain in your voice and the soft shaky exhale doesn't go unnoticed by Yoongi. Yoongi takes a deep breath, realising he spoke too fast in frustration. As much as he did feel for you this distance was tearing you apart and Yoongi didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. He spoke softer this time giving his side of his explanation.

"Y/n, you've been nothing but amazing to me, but I realize that we were more compatible as friends, I mean think about it, we've had so many petty fights that we never had before we dated. Our growing college life will further hinder our relationship. I don't want to hurt you like this by not giving you the love and attention you deserve. I'll always love you y/n, just not as more than friends I suppose"

You couldn't believe what was happening right now, your world felt like it was crashing down on you hard and fast, you could feel the sharp stinging in your chest from how your heart was breaking the more reality hit you. Yoongi's words had reason to them, but you were still in a state of confusion. Why could you make time for Yoongi but he couldn't for you? Maybe it's because the two of you are pursuing different fields of studies? Maybe he really had better things to do? Yoongi didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you feel abandoned so he was in fact abandoning you? No? But he said he'll still love you?? Your head was spinning a bunch of thoughts ran through your head.

"Okay Yoongi...if that's what would be the best for us..then okay"

"Don't worry okay? We'll still text as usual, talk when we can okay? I won't let you go, you're still my best friend y/n"

You didn't know if his words would be comforting enough, but at that moment you took what you had and calmed your thoughts for now.

"Okay Yoongi.."

"Good, I have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll talk to you later okay? I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y/n"

"Good night Yoongi"

-----------------------💔------------------------

As it will, Yoongi and you slowly drifted apart. You would often see his social media updates about how he was actively participating in clubs, and how he had taken up new responsibilities, going to camps and hosting events at his institute and he definitely seemed to be doing well. You on the other hand fell more and more at war with your emotions, it didn't hinder your studies. Thankfully you could keep those two apart. But whenever it got a little too quiet you'd think of him, the days in highschool when you were inseparable. You missed his laugh, his endearing way of calling you the most heinous nicknames. You definitely missed his comforting arms, his words of encouragement when you were down, you wished nothing more that in this moment you were crying to him instead of because of him.

You couldn't believe that you were sitting here, broken and feeling alone by the guy that made his way into your life, and had now made his way out in the most painful way possible. You were left there clueless and confused. Did he do it for you? Was it the right thing? Did he really think of you? Why was this happening? What would have happened if you didn't date? Would things be different? Would your best friend have stayed? All these questions playing through your mind, countless nights you spent crying yourself to sleep. Thinking of how you felt almost betrayed, you cursed at yourself for sending texts to him that were only left on read or replied with a simple "I'm busy, text you later".

Slowly days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months as you hadn't spoken much to Yoongi. You became stone hearted from all that had happened and slowly you got back into yourself. You were more and more active in your college life and you were growing to be better at controlling your emotions. Sure some little things remind you of him now and then, but it was much easier by now to brush his thoughts off. As sadly as your situation was you learned to move with it and not let it consume you. Every now and then you'd see Yoongi piston updates on his progressively active life and you'd feel happy for him, you wondered if he ever felt the same for you when he saw your updates on how well you were doing.

----------------------🍃-------------------------

It had been a total of 4 years since everything happened, you were on a roll and you had graduated college. You had a few job applications pending and you were more stable with your life by now. All the questions you once had were stored in a box collection dust in the far corner of your mind.

It was a relaxing Saturday evening, you were in your apartment lounging on your bed. As you were chatting away with your friends a familiar ping aroused from your phone. The name that popped up on the screen made your heart heavy and you breathing shallow, a true ghost from your past…

"Yoongi 🥀"

Your screen read. Taking a deep breath you opened the chat.

[9:57pm] Hey y/n it's been a long time… are you free tonight? Can I call you?

You didn't know what exactly to think right now. Every cell in your brain telling you not to. That you shouldn't give into him again, and that you should just talk to him over text no matter what it was. But your heart was screaming for him, the familiar feeling of longing for him returning in a massive tsunami, washing over your thoughts. You took a deep breath to centre your thoughts and decided you'd listen to him and talk to him again.

[9:59pm] Hey Yoongi, yeah I'm free to talk.

As soon as the message was read by him, your phone rang. You took one more deep breath and answered the call.

"Hello y/n, how are you?"

You cursed in your head at how much you missed his voice, the way he spoke to you at this moment had a hint of the same longing you had for him.

"Hey..Yoongi, I'm good. How are you?"

"I've been good too.. congratulations on graduating"

"Thanks Yoongi, congratulations on graduating too.."

"Thanks…"

The silence that fell had you both reflecting on everything that happened and how fast it all went by. The box of questions in your mind burst out once again whereas Yoongi on the other hand was feeling guilt and hate towards himself for everything that he put you through. Little did you know that these last few months Yoongi was hit with the hard realisation that he had lost not only his best friend but the person he cared about the most. His family certainly did not improve and the one person who was there for him when he needed it, he had left broken hearted and abruptly once he found a new escape. Yoongi was slowly flooded with memories of you as he neared his own college graduation. He remembered your highschool graduation and how he felt for you there in that moment of time. He spent a few nights crying at the realisation that he had thought of what's best for you but didn't think of how you felt and how he had left things between the two of you.

"Why Yoongi…."

Was all you managed to say out loud before your emotions caved in. Understanding what you were asking he answered.

"I was so caught up in the new environment of growing up and moving on that I did what I thought was the best to not hurt you...but I didn't think far enough that doing so will indeed hurt you.. and I wasn't there for you like i was supposed to. It took a hard hit to my head to realise that I was wrong y/n… you were always there for me and stupidly I made this mistake… I thought i was thinking of the best for both of us, when in fact i was thinking of myself.. I was selfish and I realised that…so many things reminded me of you y/n, the clouds, the sun, the sight of roses, the smell of hot cheetos.."

You giggled a little at his last comment earning a little muffled one from Yoongi.

"I understand if you hate me for what I did to you y/n… and I don't know if it'll ever be the same between us again.. but I'm willing to try to bring back what we had... if you're willing to give me a chance…"

You exhaled softly before letting out everything that you've been feeling.

"I don't hate you Yoongi, I never could and I never will. You're everything to me Yoongi and I was just really hurt by what you did and how you ended things. So many thoughts went through my head and I won't even talk about how much you made me cry….you dipshit" the playful cursing nickname made Yoongi chuckle a little, slowly making him feel reassured at the directions of the conversation.

"I'm willing to give us a chance Yoongi..and you're right, I don't expect it to be the same as what we had, I just hate that I lost my best friend.."

"I know..i understand that..and I'm sorry..for everything"

"It's okay Yoongi, I'm sorry too… maybe I should've been more understanding…"

"Hey… do you.. wanna hang out Tomorrow night?"

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, i wanna see you and catch up with you"

"Sure Yoongi that'd be nice"

"Great!! I'll meet you at the café by our old highschool?"

"Sure Yoongi, sounds great"

"Right then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow Yoongi"

You could hear the smiles in each other's voices as you both bid goodnight and hung up the phone. You didn't know what it was exactly but you knew just from that phone call that everything was going to be alright. You felt like you breathed much easier now, your mind much lighter. Yoongi felt the same, he was smiling more now filled with the excitement of meeting you again tomorrow after years.

-----------------------✨------------------------

You made sure to check yourself out in the mirror a few more times before heading towards the café. You had chosen to wear a simple yet stylish outfit, your hair tied back in a low loose ponytail, your short hairs framing your face. You were nervous yet excited to be reunited with your best friend again. And as you approach the café, there he was. Standing outside the door of the café waiting for you. The now slightly more mature looking, dark fluffy haired man, wearing a long black coat was looking just as nervous and excited as he was looking down at his feet.

"I didn't know you needed glasses to see now"

your voice made him turn his head fast in your direction. The moment his gaze landed on you, it felt like highschool all over again. The way you looked standing there, just centimetres away from him. He took in your slightly matured face yet he told himself that you hadn't changed one bit.

"It's official, you're old Yoongi"

He chuckled and playfully scoffed at your comment.

"Well at least i don't dress like the satanic spawn of depression and hot cheetos"

"Sure thing Mr. I'm still a millennial emo teen"

The two of you laughed, and the world seemed to slow down. The feeling that nothing ever really changed between the two of you was knowing, however this time something felt entirely different. Both of you could feel it for sure. It was the feeling of a bond stronger than both friendship and love. You didn't know what the feeling was exactly, all that you knew was that you're never losing each other again. All this while you've been sitting there watching the feelings you had burn and crash in the worst way possible, but today right here at this café, right in front of your eyes you watched everything Begin Again.

[eastertag]

The Hunt

@godsliltippy gift for @soniabigcheese

—

Happy Easter, @soniabigcheese !!! Hope you enjoy!

It started off innocent as most things do. It made sense considering his brothers were still too young to even go out searching on their own when it had fallen to him to host the event. 

A four and six year old, hands clinging to his, walked by his side as Virgil led the two blondes through the fence of the horse field, the animals resting in the barn. Gordon would typically be pulling with his excitement, but this year was a little bit different. Alan was much the same, though when he saw the two brightly painted baskets, his enthusiasm took over and he ran forward to reach them first. 

Virgil had spent that day playing the part their mother always had, but with his own twist on the game. They had to find their prizes before the time ran out. The first round had gone to Gordon, seeing as their kid brother made it a habit to shout out with each one he found. Technically, it should have ended then, but the two were having too much fun - getting to be little kids again - and Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to force them back inside. Another round, giggles coming from the boys as their big brother hid the treats once more. It was a simple task and one Virgil was glad to do.

It was Easter, after all. They had to find joy in whatever ways they could.

And then, year after year, that innocent game grew into something far more intricate.

“You two ready?” Virgil called from the pilot’s seat over the sound of air rushing in from the open hatch behind him. He didn’t need to turn around in order to picture the two blondes, parachutes fashioned to their backs, grinning with anticipation.

“Just say go already!” Alan griped with a laugh.

The engineer simply grinned, content to make them wait that much longer. 

“Virg,” Gordon piped in, sensing his co-pilot’s hesitance. “Viiiiirg, Virgil, V-man, c'mon, say go.“ 

Alan joined in with the whine with a long, drawn out "Viiiiiiiirrrrggggiiiiillllll-”

Until finally, “Just go!” And a little less shouted, “Couple of children.” He glanced over his shoulder to see they’d both vanished, “Thunderbird 2 to Thunderbird 5, do you have them?”

“They’re descending into the forest now,” John’s knowing grin appeared over his console. 

“FAB, let the annual Easter Egg Hunt begin.”

OoOoOoO

This had to be, hands down, one of his favorite training exercises. The water-based ones were a given, but this one was special. Though they classified it as a training session for search and rescue, Gordon understood what it really was. Virgil planned it every year - way back to the point it seemed like he always had - and each year was more challenging than the last. This wasn’t a kid’s hunt anymore. 

Their parachutes deployed well above the ground and they floated over the tree canopy to descend into the clearing they’d been aiming for. Alan already had his pack off and was sidling up with a holographic view of the area. Unlike their first few Easter Egg hunts that declared the brother with the most eggs the winner, this one required teamwork. They had to find the egg together if they wanted to win. 

“Looks like it’s about seven miles that way,” the young astronaut pointed northeast, into the dense forest. On a real rescue, this might’ve elicited a groaned complaint about being dropped too far out. Today, it was all for fun. 

“Lead the way, Al,” Gordon offered, remembering Scott’s instructions to let the youngest gain further experience heading up a mission. The aquanaut was more than happy to accomodate. He and Alan might have their moments of brotherly annoyance, but in the field, when actions needed to be immediate, they were efficient. Even the Big Brothers Supreme had to admit the two youngest could handle most situations on their own. It meant far less questioning from the elders when it was just the two of them.

They took off at a brisk pace into the wooded countryside of British Columbia, scaling roots and fallen trees as they went. The icon hovering over Alan’s wrist continued to point them in the right direction and Gordon felt a pang of regret. This was all too easy. It made sense to use the tracking tech, considering John would have technically given them a set of coordinates if someone needed rescuing, but it meant the exercise would be done as soon as they found their blinking target. They really needed to rethink these events once they were over.

“Wait -” Alan stopped after jumping from a moss covered log.

“What’s up?” Amber eyes watched the hologram lift so he could see. It was faint, but unmistakable. “Is it moving?”

“Seems like it. We’re gonna have to pick up the pace if we want to catch up with it,” they were already running before Alan finished, the thought that an animal had found it making Gordon immediately regret his earlier grievance. 

The foliage rushed by them as they sprinted at a potentially hazardous speed, but they knew it would be necessary. It helped that they’d been preparing for this over the past month, knowing how much their brother liked to leave the egg in unpopulated areas. No need to bother civilians with their unannounced training exercises. 

They had accounted for most any situation and running through woodland areas was at the top of their list. It didn’t mean it was all easy going. Gordon was so used to the pool or ocean, the weeks of jogging around the island had left him sore the first week. Now, pushing himself further than what they’d planned for, he could feel his muscles starting to protest. 

Their run continued for another two miles until they were forced to stop again, this time by the flow of a river. It would be too deep the wade across and he quickly made the decision for the two of them, “I’ll swim across. Tether yourself to your grapple line and I’ll tow you across." 

"I can make it with you,” Alan protested and there was no doubt he could.

“I know, but we still have a ways to run. One of us needs to preserve as much energy as they can,” he was glad to see understanding in the sky blue eyes. “Y'know, just in case.”

“Right, you fall over and I’m not carrying you,” the younger blonde teased. 

Gordon was eyeing his potential route, giving his brother a chuckle, “I didn’t even consider that as an option. Think Virg’ll give you extra points if you do?”

“Oooh, probably,” he sounded intrigued. “But still, not sure I want to run and carry you a few miles if I don’t have to.”

“FAB. Alright, I’m going in here,” he pointed up stream, securing his helmet as he went. “The grapple should make it all the way across when I get there. It’s not gonna be a straight shot, so you’ll need to head downstream a bit.”

“Got it,” Alan offered a grin with a mock salute usually reserved for himself and Scott, remnants of their time when it was ingrained into their daily lives. Gordon guessed his little brother had picked it up from seeing the two of them using it on rescues together. “Nothing crazy, just get across.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” and without another directive, he stepped into the river. The current wasn’t as strong as he’d expected, but it was still enough to drag him miles downstream if he didn’t hurry. As it grew too deep to stand, the aquanaut kicked off the pebbled bottom and began stroking through the water. 

The familiarity and comfort of it felt more like a rest for his tired limbs, but he knew better than to relax. Halfway across, he felt an underwater boulder scrape across his stomach and he stalled for only a moment, mentally checking for damage. No pain meant he could continue and he was pleased to find the other side of the river a few feet away. 

Climbing up the bank, Gordon turned to locate his little brother, only - “Alan?” The other side of the river was vacant and he felt his heart rate spike as he listened before activating their comm link, “Alan, where are you?”

A grunt sounded through his helmet and he sighed with the knowledge his brother was there, “Sorry, tripped over a log. You were moving pretty fast, but I should be there in a minute.”

Even as Alan spoke, Gordon caught sight of the blonde hair bouncing through the treeline. Content in knowing the astronaut was fine, he began a few post-swim stretches with the desire to not seize up while he waited. When his little brother finally made it to the point closest to his own side, it appeared Alan needed to do the same.

“That coulda gone better,” the younger blonde whined as he collected his grapple from his baldric. 

“Next year, we’ll have to request a closer drop off,” though, if he were honest, the view was worth the trek. They were in the uninhabited wilderness and getting to see what very few were allowed. Even with their ships, it was easy to miss how amazing their planet could be.

Catching the grapple as it was shot across, Gordon went to work creating a rudimentary pulley system with himself and a tree, “Alright, Al! Your turn!”

The astronaut mimicked his older brother, carefully stepping into the water before pushing out into the flow. The line grew tight and Gordon stepped back with it, gritting against the strength of the water as it pulled at Alan. The tree held as he towed the cable across its back, concentrating on each movement until he heard the shout from behind him. Turning, he saw his brother’s helmet peek over the bank, a moment later, the blonde heaving his way up to dry ground.

“Woo, that was intense!” Alan chuckled as he undid his grapple. 

Gordon dropped his end and grinned against the vibrating muscles in his arms, “Tell me about it! Hopefully, we won’t run into any more rivers to cross.” He wasn’t sure he could provide a repeat performance, not that he would confess that out loud just yet.

Bringing up the map, they found the blinking dot was still five miles away - and still moving. Their eyes locked with wavering uncertainty, but neither said a word as they took off towards their destination. 

“What if-” Alan’s voice bounced through the wooded air, “something ate it.”

“Then we give it-” Gordon answered, just as breathless, “to Virgil. Let him - deal with it.”

“Seems fair,” the forest floor had become littered with shrubs and fallen trees, evidence of a storm making their trip a bit more hazardous and slowing them down. What helped, however, was seeing that the beacon had slowed as well. “What if it’s a bear?”

“What woulda - bear want with - an egg?” Logically, a real egg would make for a treat for any carnivore, but this was metal and painted iR blue. 

“A bird then?” Apparently, his little brother was considering all the worst case scenarios.

“A bird would move - way faster,” and now he was trying to imagine what kind of creature would have the ability and desire to take off with their prize.

They didn’t have to think too long before they found themselves coming up on the egg’s location and it appeared to have stopped. Jumping over another fallen tree, they could hear an odd, high pitched sound. They slowed as they rounded a large pine and nearly tripped over the roots as their culprit came into view.

Culprits, actually.

Two figures sat huddled against a tree, one, a young woman, crying into her knees as the other, a man, gazed into the sky helplessly. In less than a second, the game was over as the two Tracys realized their Easter Egg hunt had just become a full fledged rescue.

“Hello! Are you two alright?” Gordon called from their spot by the tree. Two sets of eyes honed in on them, shock turning to surprise, then to unbridled relief. The woman was up first, running towards them as tears fell down her face. She collided with the aquanaut, who tried his best to stay upright, but ended up leaning against the tree for support. 

The man soon joined them, his expression one of disbelief, “How did you find us?”

“You two are lost?” Alan sidestepped the question. 

“Yeah, we - we thought we were still on the trail, but I think we missed a marker. We’ve been trying to find our way back for hours.” He took a seat as Alan instructed, the woman joining as Gordon helped maneuver her off of him. 

“You’re safe now. We’re International Rescue,” Gordon gave them both his best reassuring smile. “Our ride should be here momentarily.”

As the hikers fell into the blanketing comfort of the rescuers’ presence, Alan activated the link to their brother, “Thunderbird 2, we’re ready for pick up with a couple more passengers.”

Virgil answered with an understandable amount of confusion, “Say again, Alan?”

“We found a couple of lost hikers. They’re in good shape, but they could use a ride,” with an FAB of confirmation, the astronaut cut the link before taking a seat on the leaf covered floor with a huff.

Gordon followed suit, trying and failing at keeping his fatigue from showing now that their race was over. He gave the man an apologetic grin, “Sorry, we had to run to catch up with you. About ten miles?”

Alan confirmed, “And over a river.”

“How did you know where we were - or even that we were lost?” The question came from the woman, now smiling through her tears. 

Gordon looked to his brother, catching the same sheepish expression he felt on his own face. Turning back to the couple, he asked “Did you two find an egg? It was blue.”

The woman nodded as she pulled her pack off and began rummaging through its contents. She came back with the oval object, handing it to Alan. Her companion explained, “It was sitting on a tree stump, so we took it. Sorry.”

“Oh, no, that was a good thing!” The aquanaut waved off the apology, “It’s got a built in tracker. We wouldn’t have been able to find you without it.”

They seemed relieved until another question caught their curiosity, “You two were searching - for an egg?”

“Part of our training,” Alan covered, as they had with Scott the first time Virgil had planned it. “Just - Easter themed.” The explanation earned them a laugh, the couple content with knowing they were safe. “Speaking of,” the astronaut reached into a pocket on his baldric and retrieved a vacuum sealed pouch. Upon breaking the seal, the contents expanded back to their original forms. “Anyone want a marshmallow bunny?”

The treats were passed out and consumed quickly by the hungry group. A moment later and the sound of VTOL filled the air above them, followed by the rustling of the treetops. The chair harness was deployed and the four loaded in to be carried to safety.

An hour later, they were on their way back to the island, Alan snoozing in the rear passenger seat. Gordon was considering a nap himself, but he couldn’t help wanting to keep his copilot company, “Thanks for doing all this, Virg.”

The engineer shrugged, “Not much to it, but I’m glad it helped those hikers today.”

“It’s not just that, though,” he was feeling a bit sappy, a side effect of being worn out. “You’ve always made Easter special for me and Alan. I can’t really remember a time you didn’t do something for the holiday, so thanks.”

Virgil sat silently for a moment, his eyes forward and difficult to read from Gordon’s angle. He was about to leave it and reconsider a quick nap when his brother spoke, soft and reverent, “Mom used to plan scavenger hunts - for all of us. You two always needed help with yours, so I’d get up early and mom would let me do my hunt. By the time you and Alan made it outside, I was done and able to give you little hints. It was just something we always did. And then,” he fell silent, but the understanding was there. Clearing his throat, he added, “You two deserved to enjoy Easter as much as we did.”

Gordon didn’t know what to say to that, too tired to think but desperate to let his brother know how much his words meant to him. Shear reflex seemed to be the only alternative as his chair pivoted and he wrapped his arms around his big brother. Virgil let out a startled laugh, trying to keep his ‘Bird steady as the aquanaut latched on. He heard the autopilot engage before his brother returned the embrace, then shoved the smaller form back in his seat.

“You’re the best, Virg,” Gordon grinned. 

“I’ll have to remind you of that next time we have to do scheduled maintenance on all the modules,” a knowing smile as Gordon’s fell. 

It came back a moment later, “Fine, but can we at least listen to something other than ragtime?”

“Hey, that’s my motivation,” Virgil sounded with offense. 

“Maybe to your old butt,” and just like that, the teasing took over the weight of his big brother’s yearly responsibility to the youngest. “Some of us have taste.”

“That’s it,” Virgil reached down and activated the onboard stereo system. Before Gordon could stop it, the upbeat sounds of the piano keys bounced through the cabin. He groaned emphatically, slumping in his seat while they listened. 

By the time the song ended, the blonde was grinning, peeking over at his brother, “Thanks, Virgil. Happy Easter.”

Virgil smiled, “Happy Easter, Fish.”