#gremlin hours in full swing

[yutamayo]

It was fate lol. It cost me my last $4 exactly and it was the last pack of sour patch kids in the store. That's lady fortune right there

[sister-of-hitoshi]

Bnha main three x turned to child reader

Scenarios with just fluff!

Midoriya Izuku

It was a quaint, idle afternoon, although Midoriya Izuku was as busy as ever.

Being the former no.1 hero's protégé, being the weilder of One for All, being a dutiful student of the most prestigious academy of Japan, being a good son, being a supportive friend, a wonderful partner, a-

Good babysitter?

Yes there was a lot to be, but being a babysitter was really asking too much of him.

Our pure, sweet and innocent boy might be good with kids in general, but he was not made to handle little gremlins with short fuses.

But alas, to be the future no.1 hero of the country, you should be ready to face each and every challenge thrown at you.

Or that's what he kept telling himself.

Because right now, a little gremlin had been pulling at his curls for god knows how long.

And this little gremlin was his adorable s/o...

It all started when he had comeback to his room being left in shambles with a little toddler claiming their throne at it's centre.

"U-ummm"

"W-W-Whoooo a-are youuu??!!"

What is an adorable kid doing in his room? How are they even in his room? Isn't UA supposed to have top-tier security? Why is-

"I'M Y/N!!"

This was enough for his instincts to take over his next movements as he immediately picked you up and full-cowled to Aizawa sensei.

Recovery girl was informed, and following her deductions, he got to know about the duration of three days.

Without further ado, and due to all the qualities mentioned in point number 2, Aizawa immediately put him in charge of his companion.

Which brings us back to the present.

The present where you were running around the common school yard with him chasing after you- because at some point during his conversation with his teachers you had become tired of his curls and had jumped down from his back, ordering requesting him to run and catch you.

The first few minutes he was only trying to humour you to see that adorable grin that you sported.

But this soon wasn't the case anymore since he was now being bested by a literal toddler in terms of running for two hours straight.

This activity was followed by you doing his hair and him doing yours in your room, since his was left in shambles and you wouldn't let him go.

To say you were hyper was an understatement-

And you hadn't even unleashed half of your potential!

At some point, the perplexity of his own precarious situation got to him, leading him to call his mom asking for tips.

Following which he had you strapped on his chest everytime he was busy doing something, he couldn't have you tiring yourself afterall (he didn't have it in him to run after you anymore)

It was pretty alright after your initial tantrums and pulling on his hair, asking to be let down.

You were a somewhat of cuddle bug for him- you slapped everyone's hands away when they tried to touch you, and only permitted him for doing so (he is still very proud of you for doing that).

Want to be entertained? You can swing using his black whips, float around the room with him, the options were endless!- So of course you did everything on the list because why not.

All in all he was a good servant caretaker, you never once cried when he was around and he could keep up with your royal decrees shenanigans.

Of course you would never know that he fantasized about you in his almight onesies

"...Is this the candy that you wanted, Y/N?"

"YEs"

You were pretty pleased with your devoted follower, so being a good ruler, you decided it was best to promise your loyal subject a deserving reward.

"Uh- they said that they've run out of stock for that juice Y/N-san so-"

You interrupted him by giving him a sweet peck on the cheek, as a reward of course-

"Mr. Izukw! I'm gonna marry yu in the fwuture!"

"..umM..."

.......

....

"...- so the kis- I MEAN THE CANDY- NO JUICE-JUICE-"

You child form wasn't enough to keep him from blushing till his ear tips.

He pulled on his bangs to keep you from seeing his red face.

"Umm...m-me too"

For Katsuki Bakugo: Here

For Shouto Todoroki: Here

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

This moving arc is going crazy ngl. This season is really peak, JJK could never

I know you didn't even mean for this to be an ask but:

(Genshin Impact/GFL) How helpful Lisa, Eula, Noelle, Navia, Furina, Lumine, AK-12, AN-94, AK-15, and RPK-16 would be during your move

After fighting boxes and moving trucks for the last 6 straight days, this has been on my mind.

(Lisa) "Oof, these boxes are going to kill my back tomorrow...!"

Lisa has experience carrying heavy books from her days studying in Sumeru and being a Librarian in Mondstadt.

But do you really think this beautiful woman is going to help you carry the seventeen boxes of glass kitchenware that you have no recollection of even owning?

Absolutely not.

That is too heavy, even for her.

But at the very least when the moving and unpacking is over, she will give and demand the very best cuddles to recover from the process.

Expect her to say that she was sore with helping you last night in an intentionally weird way to get a rise out of you and anyone in the vicinity.

Help Rating: 2/5, Call Lisa in for the love, not for physical labor.

(Eula) "Good grief, how much dust is in here?!" ACHOO! "Ugh...! If this was some elaborate scheme just to hear me sneeze the entire time, I will enact terrible vengeance upon you!"

Quips of revenge aside, she is actually very helpful!

Eula can carry the boxes no problem, and makes sure to have the proper posture when doing so.

If she can swing her claymore around like they're nothing, then surely your belongings will be jut as trivial?

She is also extremely gentle putting down boxes that she knows is full of your stuff.

The only real negative thing you have to deal with is just her constant muttering if a box is giving her too much trouble.

Help Rating: 3/5, You now swear vengeance upon the boxes thanks to Eula saying it over and over

(Noelle) "Please, allow me! I can have these put away in no time!"

The boxes will be hearing boss music upon Noelle's arrival.

For when there is a mess, Noelle is inevitable.

She somehow packs everything into the boxes into such an impossibly efficient manner, that you didn't know you could fit that much stuff into a small cardboard box.

Noelle also does it under a few hours without breaking a sweat.

The scary part is that she can go faster while keeping the same immaculate level of care if you give her a kiss on the cheek or praise her.

And it'll mean even more to her by the fact you're still helping her. It's the thought that counts!

Help Rating: You don't even need to be there/5

(Navia) "Here, just tell me where these boxes are going in your new home. Packing? Hm, no need!"

You know what she does instead of packing herself?

She hires someone else to do it.

When it comes to more personal items, she'll gladly help you wrap it carefully and with love.

But all your furniture?

Yeah, no. That's what the hired help is for.

You and Navia will be directing people left and right where to place the furniture and boxes of your belongings without really needing to lift a finger yourself.

Help Rating: 5/5, the best help is the kind where someone else does the entire job for you.

(Furina) "Oh, it is about time you come to me for aid, dearest! Allow me to help!"

In the wise words of Sergeant Johnson:

"Hmph, MY ASS!"

This woman didn't even unload her boxes when she moved into her apartment, what makes you think that she'd help you unload your stuff properly?

She may be an Archon but her arm strength and experience with moving is next to nothing.

Furina will act all cool and try to lift a box only for it to nearly collapse on her, or throw her out her back.

Her little familiars can't help with your boxes since you know, they're made of water.

But at least the pouting face she'll make will be cute. Kinda like Aqua, huh?

Help Rating: Just get Clorinde or Neuvillette, don't ask the blue gremlin/5

(Lumine) "We really need to get you a teapot! Anyways, let's get to work!"

Lumine doesn't mind to help, and her arm strength despite her appearance is insane.

She'll be carrying 3-4 boxes like it's nothing, though she struggles to actually see anything in front of her.

Paimon helps as much as she can, so you get a 2 for 1 deal asking Lumine!

She's a little unused to moving furniture herself since Tubby and the Teapot took care of that for her own home, but she makes moving very fun!

Help Rating: 5+1/5, but Lumine will question your taste in decor.

(AK-12) "Ah, moving dorms? Well, at least it's within the base and not too far.~"

Even though 12 is a combat android, she can only lift so much.

She might complain about the servos in her arms going haywire and that you'll need to fix them, but in reality she's just teasing just to get a rise out of you.

And despite her eyes being closed, she has better sense of her surroundings than you do, not once bumping into anything or hitting the doorframes.

Once its finished, 12 will just say that you 'owe her one' for helping with the move.

Help Rating: 3/5, it'd be higher but she's too damn smug about lifting more than you.

(AN-94) "Moving assignment understood. Providing assistance."

94 is a little stiff about the moving process at first.

But as it progresses, she uncharacteristically gets distracted by the items you choose to keep and throw away.

She'll ask with a curious expression about why you're throwing away old but usable items, and 94 ends up learning a lot about you.

While the move itself is very normal, it ends up being a nice bonding experience for the two of you!

Help Rating: 4/5, very sweet

(AK-15) "This weight is trivial. Please, stand aside for a moment."

15 is an absolute monster when it comes to the physical labor.

She will stack the heaviest boxes into one pile and carry it without even moving her hair.

15 helpfully moves any of the things you'd struggle with, all the while her expression doesn't really change.

She'd question why you'd thank her for simply doing her job, but it's something she'll appreciate with the slightest blush.

Help Rating: 5/5, she can probably lift you, me, and the boxes in one hand.

(RPK-16) "Hm...I wonder if humanity were to go extinct right now, what would the new race think of finding your belongings?...Hah, your face! Don't mind me, just thinking aloud.~"

16 is not really that strong, but since she's an android, boxes aren't too bad of a gig for her.

After all, she lugs around an LMG.

Regardless, she helps you pack but be prepared to answer a LOT of questions on why you own the items you do.

Both out of genuine curiosity, and to annoy the shit out of you.

But hey, you'll at least get through the moving somewhat quickly thanks to her.

Help Rating: 3/5, Thanks to her, there's now a lot of weird cryptic questions floating through your mind. Such as if the bug that finds its way into the box knows that it had walked into its tomb?

[blood-red-ocean]

can I request Mother Miranda next? i have this silly idea where MM's crow(s) has a habit of stashing all kind of shiny things near reader's house. Maybe she has a small porch that's not been used cause reader doesn't have time lounging around, and the sneaky crow is, like, yeah, this is perfect, and so reader goes about her life non the wiser to crow's shenanigans behind her back until one day she hears some sound outside and goes to investigate which ends with her stumbling upon MM rummaging through pile of... something. Awkward silence.

I don't know why I saw reader's house and immediately went 'ah yes, they live with Miranda' but ANYWAY enjoy <3

Small Thief (RL!Miranda x Reader)

Word count: 1.9k Warnings: None Summary: Cornelius is a sneaky lil gremlin.

------------------------------------------------------------------

“Babe? Have you seen my keys?”

Overturned couch cushions and the contents of upturned cabinet drawers laid in the wake of your frantic rummaging. The very thought of having lost a set of keys to the headmistress’s house scared you enough, but it would be even worse if you had not simply misplaced them and had dropped them somewhere on the Campus. Especially with Mia’s habit of being an absolute gremlin and showing up unexpectedly in places she wasn’t supposed to be.

“Hmm?” Miranda strode into the room, hand fiddling with the button on the other wrist of her shirt.

“My keys, babe, my keys. I need them.”

You knew what was coming immediately. You knew it so well that you could almost quote her word for word. “Now, what did I tell you about carelessly tossing your keys down, little crow?” She and you both knew that if she had spoken those words to anybody else, it would have seen as harsh chastising. But you knew her better than that, and you could easily pick up on the way her mouth quirked up at the corners. The Miranda version of a playful grin.

“Forget about your keys, darling mine,” She said, striding over to you to kiss your cheek. “I will be awake when you return, I’ll let you in.”

“Andy, you know I’ve got class till late tonight.” Miranda smiled a little more visibly at the nickname you had picked for her – Devil Wears Prada had quickly become her favourite movie to watch with you, and she didn’t hide her blush fast enough when you called her it playfully for the first time while playfully testing out different variations of her name. Mir, Mira, Andy… “Professor Dimitrescu is making us recreate a classical piece in our own style.”

“That’s… Out of character.” Miranda frowned a little. “Very well then. I’ll still let you in.”

“But—”

“I’ll be awake.” Miranda gave you a pointed look, and it hit you then. Of course she would be awake – without you around to help with the growing pile of student council paperwork, full of requests and grievances that were above even Bela’s station, she would no doubt spend considerable time poring over them, with Cornelius on her shoulder. She often turned to work when you weren’t around.

“Okay, fine,” You said. You reached up and caressed her cheek, a playful smirk growing on your face. “Just don’t drool on the papers when you fall asleep this time, okay?” This earned you a tut from Miranda.

Hours later, and back aching from spending hours at an easel, you trudged into Miranda’s – you and Miranda’s – house, dropping your bag at your feet. You leaned back against the door and groaned, rolling your shoulders slowly to relieve some of the tension. The smell of pizza wafted down the hallway and into your nostrils, stomach growling angrily. “Oh, fuck yes,” you breathed, following the scent like a cartoon character. There, on the kitchen counter, laid an open box of your favourite pizza, and a note beside it which stated, in Miranda’s elegant cursive, “I am in my office. Come find me when you have eaten, little crow.”

Pizza slice in hand, you navigated the house, making your way to her study. The door was propped slightly open, and a gentle push on it made it swing forward, revealing Miranda bent over her home desk as she pored over some paperwork.

“Pizza?” You asked, holding a piece out.

Miranda crinkled her nose a little and shook her head. “Not tonight, Feather. I don’t think I have the stomach for it right now.” She tapped her fingers on the top of the desk as she sat back, peering at you with concern. “Are you alright? You seem exhausted.”

“Because I am,” You mumbled around a mouthful of cheese, sauce and dough. “Dimitrescu made me restart my piece three times. Three times! All because I mixed the pigment slightly wrong.” Miranda kept tapping her fingers one by one, the familiar sound almost mesmerizing you – almost.

Click, click, thud, click. Click, click, thud, click.

One of her golden finger guards was missing, the soft thud of her bare finger hitting the wooden surface jarring against the clicking you were used to. “Hey,” You spoke up, frowning. “Where’s your guard?”

Miranda shifted uncomfortably, hesitating. “I have no idea,” She eventually admitted. “I removed all of them earlier to take a bath, and when I turned back, one was missing.”

“Ah, so the great Miranda doesn’t have eyes in the back of her head after all.” Miranda shot you a playful glare, affection vaguely hidden beneath. “I’m sure it’ll show up somewhere.”

“It is rather… Concerning, that things keep going missing around here. I’m not usually this… Disorganized.”

“You aren’t disorganized at all,” You reassured her, licking the grease from your fingers. “Maybe we have a ghost.”

Miranda rolled her eyes lightheartedly at that, returning to her work. You grabbed your books and papers, settling in on the couch opposite her desk to study. Yeah, you were exhausted, but you still had other classes to study for, and not even being romantically bound to the headmistress would give you endless exceptions when it came to your studies.

***

Weeks passed, hours and hours of late classes beginning to make you feel burned out. You spent the days counting down to when it was finally done and you could spend your time with Miranda again – and quicker than you thought, it was over. You left Professor Dimitrescu’s class with a heavy wooden frame in hand, a begrudging A+ grade, and a sense of smug accomplishment. You couldn’t wait to get home and tell Miranda all about how Alcina had squirmed, heaving sighs and muttering as she scribbled an A+ onto the piece of paper before her.

Upon arriving at home, however, Miranda was nowhere to be found. Propping the frame up against the wall, you dug your phone from your pocket and checked it – no texts, no missed calls. Venturing deeper into the house, you peered into Miranda’s study to see it empty and dark. Brow furrowed, you ventured even further into the house. It was unlike Miranda to not tell you where she was – or rather, command that you go and be at her side.

“Andy?” You called out. You peered into darkened rooms, intrigue growing as you saw parts of the house you hadn’t seen before. Between the rush of moving you in with her, and exam season, and Alcina’s late classes, you had barely had time to spend sitting quietly with your avian goddess, let alone explore the depths of the house.

Just as you were about to give up and try and call Miranda, a crashing sound came from the very back of the house. Pulse rushing in your ears, you immediately jumped to alertness, searching for something to wield as a makeshift weapon. Eventually settling on a discarded iron poker, you held it aloft as you took slow steps towards the crashing sounds. You eventually came upon a glass door, a faint glow emanating from behind it. With one hand on the doorknob, you took a deep breath and threw the door open, roaring.

“RAAAAAAARGH—Andy??”

Once the frantic flurrying of wings and dark feathers and Miranda’s cursing had died down, you could get a proper look at the small room you had entered. It was covered in screens rather than windows, and it took you a moment to realise it was a porch.

A porch filled with heaping miles of miscellanea, remarkably less organized than the rest of the house. Miranda stood in the midst of it all, her face flushed and scowling… At Cornelius. Eyebrows raised, you glanced between the two of them, taking a step back. Cornelius let out a rather loud, indignant caw, wings lifted at Miranda.

“You! She hissed, pointing her finger accusingly. “I knew it!”

A glint in the corner of your vision caught your eye, and at a single glance you heaved with relief.

“My keys,” You breathed. “Thank the gods—” You reached out to pick them up, and the fluttering of wings signaled Cornelius’s arrival. He stood with one foot on them, staring up at you with one burning yellow eye. It hit you then that this wasn’t some secret that Miranda kept, some uncharacteristic habit – no, Cornelius had been periodically stealing more and more items over the weeks, stashing him where he thought nobody would find them. You reached out again to try and take the keys, but he just cawed softly at you, clicking his beak.

“Hey, what—”

“You have to give him something else,” Miranda grumbled, sifting through the heaps of shiny objects. “I learned that the hard way.” She tapped her earlobe, and you noticed that one of her dangly gold earrings was missing, no doubt wherever Cornelius had stashed it again. On her finger was the golden finger guard, back where it belonged.

“Well, I don’t have anything shiny,” You spoke to the small thief. “But… You want my A+?” You held out the piece of paper with the grade and Alcina’s comments on it, and Cornelius studied it for a moment. With a quick chirp, he grabbed it from your hand and flew off to the back corner of the porch, no doubt to stash it somewhere safe. Miranda watched him with her mouth agape and threw her hands up in exasperation, calling after him, “Seriously? I feed you! I raised you from a baby! And they can give you paper?” Miranda took a breath as if to continue, then stopped, turning to you with raised eyebrows. “Did you say A+?”

Grinning, you nodded quickly. “Yep! Can we get pizza to celebrate?”

“Again, Feather? Aren’t you tired of it yet? I could order you something much nicer—”

“Nope, pizza,” You called out, moving back into the hallway of the house. Miranda followed you, pride in her eyes.

“Very well, then,” She sighed in mock exasperation. “But first, show me your work.”

There was a skip in your step as you led Miranda by the hand back to the entryway, where you had placed the painting. You held it up to her and watched as her eyes conveyed her emotions �� surprise, awe, pride and then, as she gazed back up at you, love. “It’s beautiful,” She murmured. “We must display it at once.”

You followed her as she went to the kitchen, opening a cabinet and pulling out a small golden hook, and a nail. She hummed as she roamed the house, trying to figure out where the hang your artwork, and you blushed about it. Eventually, she settled for hanging it above her desk in her study, this simple gesture making your heart skip a beat, reminding you again her how she loved and prioritized you. She reached up, preparing to nail the hook into the wall, when a dark blur rushed by and left her hands empty. She growled a little under her breath and chased after it, leaving you in fits of giggling as she went.

“Cornelius! Get back here with that!”

To nobody’s surprise (but to Miranda’s chagrin), it only took the promise of some head scratches from you to get the hook back from the small thief. You could’ve sworn he gave an approving caw at the sight of your painting, as well.

[kojoty]

been trying something new. gonna go full swing into trying to start this discipline on monday but slowly working up my productivity through the weekend. start my morning (after getting the animals fed and the chickens released and watered-- talk about a way to wake up in the cold! leap out of bed and run outside! whew!) by doing at least a load of dishes while I boil the water for coffee, take my coffee with me to the shower. then drink coffee, look at the news, write an entry in my journal, and do a lesson of my language learning!!!!! this sets me up to go to work! and thennnnn we're working on evening tasks-- at least a 30 min window of cleaning. an hour window of mandatory reading / studying time. time slotted for making food etc and then the rest of the night free!!!!!! there's always that tired exhausted gremlin that wants to just 'free time' it all and I've been giving myself that allowance the last year as i finalize the 'who am i' journey, but now that i've completed the 'who am i' journey, at least for right now, at least stable enough to set my soles to the earth, it's time to do the work :D more discipline to come but I think trying-- and really trying, not just bah humbug i failed oh well, but pulling myself back to it even if i miss a day of something-- will help. I want to be more mindful about my time

[deans-baby-momma]

*THIS A REPOST OF A STORY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED*

He knew the thought should have never crossed his mind. It was absurd. Completely ridiculous. She was a child, after all!

Okay, so that was a lie. She was a full grown adult. But he'd known her since she was a kid. He'd watched her grow up; watched her go through puberty and all the other stages of life.

But yet, here he was, jerking his junk to the image burned in his brain. If only he had knocked before rushing into the bathroom.

Hell, if he paid more attention to the sounds coming through the door, he would've realized someone occupied the room.

But no, he had walked in and found Claire Novack, nude and letting the hot water run down her body.

*************************************

Claire smiles to herself as she hears the door open and the aroma of his cologne mixed with hints of whiskey and gun oil permeate the air.

She knew exactly who had walked in.

She kept her eyes closed and her head tilted back as she brought her hands up to her chest.

Beginning at her neck, Claire slowly massaged the water into her skin. Her hands traveled down over her chest, paying attention to her pert tits, nipples taut.

Continuing down, she let her hands roam over her abdomen before parting and rubbing over her hips and legs before she heads to the apex of her thighs.

But before she can really begin to put on a show, she hears the click of the door closing and opens her eyes.

Finding the room empty, she huffs in disappointment. She had planned the whole thing hoping to get a reaction.

But instead, she knew she was relegated to another mediocre night of having her vibrator plunged deep in her cunt as she dreamt of being railed by her pseudo father's best friend.

Dean Winchester. Her arch nemesis.

And the one and only person Claire Novack knew could fuck her brains out.

*************************************

The text from an unknown number was cryptic but nonetheless Dean quickly packed a bag before jumping into Baby and headed toward Sioux Falls.

He was pretty sure who the text was from and the situation might not be as critical as it was portrayed, but in the life of hunting monsters it's never a good idea to be cautious and second guess such things.

Four and a half hours later, he pulls into Sheriff Jody Mills’ driveway, cuts the engine and looks through the windshield towards the darkened home.

The only vehicle in the carport is Claire's 1978 Gremlin. He is curious as to what the danger is; where is everyone. The text specifically stated to meet up here, right?

Dean opens the text thread and reads the message once more.

Need help. Convene at Jody's. ASAP

Opening the car door, he steps out and grabs the bag off the seat before slamming the door and walking up to Jody's front door.

With a quick knock, he turns around once again, surveying his surroundings, searching for any hints of what this job entails.

When the front door opens, he turns to find Claire. She nods once and then turns back into the house, leaving the door ajar for him to enter.

Dean sits his bag on the couch and follows Claire to the kitchen.

“Beer?” she offers as she opens the fridge.

“Uh, sure. Where's Jody?”

Claire hands him the bottle, opening her own before answering. “Sheriff’s retreat with Donna. But if you ask me, that's code for "let's get away and screw each other senseless.”

Dean almost spits his drink out at Claire's forwardness. But after a second thought, he can understand the allegation. Jody and Donna have seemed to get pretty close. He just would have never thought they were that close.

“Alex?” he inquired, if only to get the image of his two Sheriff friends getting it on. That would be saved in his spank bank for later.

“She decided to try the dorm life,” Claire tells him, hopping up on the counter and swinging her legs.

“And Patience?”

“Gone to visit her dad and his new wife.”

“I see,” Dean says, taking a long drag off his beer. “Who else did you send the bat signal out to?”

Claire jumps down and walks toward Dean until they are toe-to-toe.

“No one.”

“What's the job then?” he asks, looking down at the young blonde.

Dean is taken aback as Claire leans up on her tiptoes and whispers, “Me.”

The older Winchester steps back and looks at her incredulously. It had taken him months to get the image of her naked, wet body out of his head and now here she was, offering….well, he didn't know exactly what she was offering.

“Claire,” he tried to sound unaffected by her proposition but he'd be lying if his dick didn't tingle at the idea. “This is a bad idea.”

Claire steps forward until they are chest to chest-well, her chest against his stomach- and smirks. “All the fun times are always bad ideas.”

“You don't know what you're asking for,” he tries to deflect.

“Yes. I do,” she answers, her eyes never leaving his. “I'm here. You're here. No one is around for miles. You can do anything you want, use me anyway you please.”

Claire backs away and turns to get another drink of beer.

“You once said I had a smart mouth so use it. Fuck my throat, my pussy, my ass. Let out all that frustration on me.”

Dean stood frozen in his spot as Claire continued talking. He couldn't hear the words for the buzzing in his ears.

But as soon as she pulled her shirt over her head and stood in the middle of the kitchen in her bra, he finally snapped.

Dean stepped to her and pushed her hair behind her ear before running his fingers through it, fisting the locks in his hand. Pulling her head back, he towered over her, looking down at her menacingly.

“You're a brat, you know that?”

“So fuck it out of me. If you think you can,” Claire mocked.

“Oh I know I can. Strip. Now.”

Dean kept a tight hold on her hair as Claire reached behind herself and unbuckled her bra, pulling the garment off her body and dropping it to the floor.

Next was her shoes, she toed them off and kicked them somewhere in the room. Her pants were unbuttoned and pushed down her legs until they pooled at her feet, leaving her in just a pair of plain white panties.

Dean looked down at her lithe body and tsked. “Little slut didn't obey. I-” he tightened his grip in her hair. “-said-” another grip of the strands. “-strip!”

Claire whimpered but complied, quickly pushing the last of her clothing off until she was standing there bared.

“Good girl,” Dean says and relaxes his hold. He takes his time admiring and appreciating the scene before him.

He drags his eyesight up her legs to the thin patch of hair between her legs. He can't help but to lick his lips at the idea of devouring her pussy. He knows it'll taste sweet.

His eyes roam up to her chest. He is usually a boob man -the bigger, the better- but something about Claire's small chest just does something to him.

Her tits wouldn't even be considered a handful but he cannot wait to be able to touch and squeeze and tweak her nipples.

Their eyes meet and Dean smiles down at Claire. “How long do we have?”

“At least 48 hours.”

“Then we better get started,” he says. “On your knees whore. My first load is going down your gullet.”

Claire's knees hit the floor and her lips parted, her tongue out, eager and inviting. She dreamt of sucking Dean off numerous times.

Dean unbuckled his belt one handed, before doing the same with the button and zipper of his jeans.

Reaching into his boxers, he wrapped his hand around his length and pulled it out.

Claire's eyes widened at the sight of the engorged member. She never imagined he was endowed with such a girthy cock. Whimpering in need and a touch of fear, she leaned forward to take the head into her mouth.

Dean had other plans though. “Oh no. Brat don't get to have control. You're going to kneel there and take what I give you. Understand?”

“Yes.”

Dean shot her a warning look - eyebrow raised, jaw set hard as he glared down at her.

“Yes sir.”

“Nah, I think you can do better than that. Do. You. Understand?”

Claire nodded and swallowed hard. “Yes Daddy.”

“Good girl.” Dean pats the top of her head with a hand before grabbing it in both hands and holding steady. “Now open that smartass mouth.”

Claire obeys and returns to her previous state. She watches as Dean moves closer, inching his way between her lips. Immediately, the sweetness, saltiness of his skin hits her taste buds and she moans.

Inch by inch Dean feeds his dick into her mouth until the head hits resistance. Claire closes her lips around his shaft and begins sucking, sliding her tongue along the vein on the bottom.

Slowly and methodically, Dean starts sliding in and out of her mouth, each thrust in going a little further until Claire is gagging around him.

“Relax baby. Let Daddy in that throat.”

Claire takes a breath in and tries to do as he says but on the next thrust, when Dean breaches her throat, she can't help but to scream around him and her eyes water.

“Shut up and take it,” Dean demands and begins a brutal pace of ramming his dick down her throat, over and over.

Thankfully it doesn't take long before he meets his end, shooting his load exactly where he said he would.

As he pulls out, Claire suctions her lips around his softening dick, getting as much of his spending as she could.

Dean looks down at her and smirks. “Lemme see. Open up.”

Claire opens her mouth for Dean to see the pool of cum on her tongue. He leans down and spits into her mouth before pushing her chin up, effectively closing her lips.

“Now swallow.”

Once again Claire obediently does as he commands before falling to the floor, exhausted.

Dean laughs and reaches down to grab her arm. “Don't tap out on me so soon. I'm nowhere near done with you.”

Dean picks Claire up and tosses her naked body over his shoulder, her bare ass just right there, perfect for a spanking.

His palm slaps against the firm muscle, causing Claire to moan.

“Oh lil cockslut likes it rough huh?” Dean asks with a chuckle before slapping her ass again.

Claire cries out as her back arches but Dean pays her no mind as he stalks through Jody's house half-dressed toward what he knows is Claire's room.

Since it's his first time in there, Dean takes in the room-it's so obvious who resides in here.

One wall is covered with old newspaper clippings and photos of older crime scenes; another wall is plastered with pages and pages of lore written down; the third wall is painted a cherry red with a dresser pushed up against it, the drawers half open with clothing hanging out.

Dean staggers for a second as he sees the stuffed cat Castiel had bought for Claire's birthday a few years ago. ‘What am I doing?’ he thinks to himself. ‘This is Castiel’s daughter. Am I really going to go there with her?’

Then he thinks, ‘No, she isn't Castiel’s daughter, she's Jimmy's. And I didn't know Jimmy Novack. I've already had my dick down her throat so might as well get my use out of her.’

Dean throws Claire on the bed and watches as her body bounces, her little titties shaking on her chest.

He tears his flannel off his arms and his tee over his head before he slips out of his boots and pushes his jeans and boxers down.

Placing his hands on the mattress, Dean eyes Claire as she writhes against the comforter.

“Open those legs. Let me see that pussy,” he demands. He smirks as Claire does his bidding and he can see how wet she is.

“Brat got turned on getting face fucked, didn't she?”

“Yes.”

Dean reaches up and slaps her mound, causing Claire to cry out. “Yes what?”

“Yes Daddy,” Claire purrs. “I got turned on while you fucked my face. But is that all you're fucking?” she sasses.

Dean grabs the curly hair that covers her mound and tugs. “I swear to God, I'm going to fuck the brat right out of you. But first-” he says as he settles on his stomach between her legs. “-I'm gonna devour this little pussy of yours.”

He starts with rough licks up her slit, the tang of her arousal coating his tongue. He then throws her legs over his shoulders and holds her hips still.

“Don't cum until I say so, you hear me?”

“Yes Daddy. I won't cum until you tell me I can.”

“Good little slut. Now let's see if you can obey your Daddy. “

Dean uses his thumb and pointer finger to spread her lips open and get a first look at the small opening and tiny little clit. He smiles because he knows he is going to ruin her.

He dives in, licking into her pussy before making his way up and around her clit, tickling the nub with the tip of his tongue.

Claire squirms and whines. Sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth, Dean shakes his head back and forth. His finger breaches her pussy and he begins thrusting slowly.

Claire thought she knew what she had agreed to; she thought she could hold her orgasm back while Dean ate her out. But she had no idea he was a pro at pussy-eating. She was on the cusp of a mind-blowing climax in no time.

It was taking every effort to hold back and not just let go all over his face.

“Daddy. Daddy, I'm so close. Can I cum. I need to cum.”

“NO!” Dean growls into her center and the vibration almost sets her off.

Dean had added another finger inside her and was tapping against her g-stop continuously as he sucked and teased her clit. He could tell she was close but he wanted to see just how far he could push her.

Claire's pussy was contracting and squeezing his fingers so tightly he could barely move. He pressed against the sponge hard and licked against her clit and if he had had his eyes closed, he would've missed the way she levitated off the bed.

“Cum.” was all he said before a gush of liquid covered his hand and the comforter.

“HOLY HELL!” Claire screamed as her body contorted. “What the fuck was that?!”

“You squirted,” Dean said arrogantly. He was always proud when he could get women to squirt with just his fingers and tongue. “Have you never squirted before?”

Claire shook her head but realized that he couldn't see it from his position. “No. Never. But damn, did that feel good.”

Dean smirks as he picks up a random shirt to clean his hand. “Feels even better with a fat dick buried inside. Condom?”

“Top drawer of the dresser,” Claire replies, never lifting her head from the pillow.

Dean steps over and opens the drawer. He quickly finds a brand new box of rubbers but also a little bullet vibrator. Taking a couple foiled squares and the toy, he walks back over to the end of the bed.

His dick is rock hard and dripping precum. Ripping the foil he rolls the condom down his length and jerks a couple times to ensure it won't slide off.

Claire is still sprawled out on the bed, her eyes closed and a pleased smile on her lips.

Dean climbs onto the mattress and crawls between her spread thighs.

“You still a smart-mouthed brat?”

Claire opens her eyes and sits up on her elbows, cocking an eyebrow. “That depends,” her smirk widening to a full smile. “Are you still able to use that, or are you just gonna stand there holding it?”

Dean growls as he launches himself toward her, pushing her to her back. “I'll show just how well I can use it!” And without mercy, he lines up and thrusts into her.

Claire’s screams reverberate off the walls as Dean sets a punishing pace, fucking into her with everything he has.

He wraps his arms around her thighs, lifting them up and he falls forward, ultimately folding her body in half.

Claire's pussy stretches and pulsates around the intrusion as her voice fills his ears.

“Oh god! Yes! Yes! Fuck! Ahhhhh! Daaaaaaaaadddddddyyyyyy!!!”

“That's right. Scream for me whore. Who fucks you best?”

“You Daddy! You fuck me the best.”

Sweat begins to drip from his forehead as Dean continues thrusting and pushing past the barrier her pussy tries to create. His balls are tightening and he knows he isn't going to last much longer but being the gentleman he is, he wants her to have another orgasm.

He reaches behind himself and grabs the vibrator, clicking it on. Thrusting into the hilt, Dean places the toy to her clit and almost gets pushed out of her and off the bed.

Claire’s voice, hoarse and strained, fills the air as her body quivers beneath him.

“Please Daddy. Please let me cum. I need to cum. Fuck!”

“Do it. Cum all over my dick. Cream my cock.”

Dean feels the warmth on his dick through the condom and he loses it. He grinds his pelvis against hers as he shoots his load into the condom.

He pulls out and turns to remove and discard the condom when he sees something that makes his heart stop beating.

The remnants of her climax is combined with the bright red tint of blood. Claire had been a virgin and he just fucked her hard and fast.

“What the fuck Claire?” he demanded, loudly. “You were a goddamned virgin?”

“So?” Claire answers’ sitting up in the middle of the bed, crossing her legs underneath herself.

“So? So? I just took your fucking virginity and all you have to say is so? How? How the hell were you still a virgin at 22?”

“Not that it matters but I just didn't want anyone to have that. I wanted it to be someone I trusted and respected. And 22 isn't all that old! I spent most of my formative years searching for my parents, then I dove head first into hunting. I just haven't given it much thought,” she explained with a shrug.

“Still-”

“No!” Claire exclaims, standing up on the mattress and walking to the edge of the bed where Dean stands. She looks him in the eye, her jaw set. “Listen to me. Sure, I could've fucked some rando punk and let him pant and sweat and try to make it all soft and sensual but I wanted hard and fast.”

Dean rips the condom off his now softened member, tying it off and tossing it in the trash.

“If I had known, I-”

“Are you not listening?!” she yells as she jumps to the floor. “If I had wanted something slow and easy, I would've told you. Dean, I wanted this and I wanted you to be the one to do it. I'm not upset. I'm not expecting anything more than a good hard fuck. And you delivered. Even in your old age,” she quips, looking up at him with a smirk.

“Old age huh?” Dean chuckles. “I think this old man just rocked your world.”

Claire smiles. “That's a fact.” She glances down at his softening dick and reaches for it. “And you’ll do it again, right?” She slowly begins to pump her fist, his cum aiding her actions.

“I will but,” Dean says and gulps. “I need time to recuperate.”

Claire slightly squeezes his shaft before letting go and turning to climb back onto the bed, effectively putting her pussy on display before flopping onto her back.

“So, let's relax.”

Dean joins her on the bed, suddenly extremely aware that they were both still naked. On one hand it felt weird to be nude but it also felt so freeing. Claire certainly didn't seem to mind that they were both so exposed. So he decided to be as nonchalant.

He lay there looking at the ceiling, contemplating what he’d done. How would he ever look Castiel in the eye again?

“Can I ask a question?” Claire suddenly says, rolling to her stomach.

“Yea,” Dean says, looking at her.

“Are they all so……huge?”

“Huh?”

“Dicks. Cocks. Penises-” she rolls her eyes.” Are they all that big?” she asks as she turns her head to look at his dick, laying against his thigh.

Dean chuckles. “Damn you are innocent, aren't you?”

Claire huffs and looks back at his face. “Shut up. I ain't innocent any more. You took care of that. I was just curious because….”

“It’s okay,” Dean tells her with a smile. “And no, some are bigger.”

“Damn!” Claire exclaims, giggling as she puts her head down. “You know what?”

“What?”

“We still have about 39 hours left to play,” she sneaks her hand down and grabs him, holding his flaccid member in her hand.

*************************************

A few hours later

Dean watched with amusement as Claire’s tits shook in his face while she rode his dick. There were bite marks and hickies covering almost every inch of them both, her nipples pert and reddened from his lips and tongue.

His hands gripped her waist as he leaned back in to pull a bud into his mouth, sucking and nibbling. He’d always thought big boobs were best but after getting a taste of Claire's he knew the smaller sizes were just as great.

“Fuck Dean! You trying to suck my tit off?” Claire sasses breathlessly.

“Shut up brat,” Dean mumbled against her skin. “You're supposed to be getting me off. Fucking ride my dick and let me enjoy it.”

“Asshole,” Claire whispered, causing Dean to actually bite her nipple. “Ow!”

When Claire began getting fatigued and slowing her movements, Dean took over. He gripped her hips and held her still as he thrust up into her pliant body.

Within minutes, he was roaring his release, shooting his load into another condom.

Claire was lifeless on top of him and they both came down from their highs.

“I'm so tired,” Claire groaned. “I can't believe a 50 year old has more sexual energy than I do.”

“I ain't that old and quit whining. You're being a brat again. Thought I fucked that out of you.”

Claire smiled up at him as she lay down. “Guess not. You’ll have to try harder.”

“Like I said, brat. I'm gonna hit the head and shower.”

“Okay Daddy,” Claire answers sleepily.

The older Winchester groans as he walks out of the room. Her calling him Daddy was like fuel to a flame; his cock jumping and trying to come back to life.

‘This girl is going to be the death of me’, he thought as he walked toward the bathroom.

Dean didn't know how long he'd been passed out on the couch in Jody's living room but he knew it was nighttime as the whole house was dark.

After his shower, he had wandered through the house contemplating the last few hours.

He had shown up for what he thought was a case only to have Claire offer herself up to him and he conceded.

He had fucked his best friend's daughter. Well, not his actual daughter but Dean knew Castiel felt responsible for the young girl and looked out for her.

What would the angel say or do when he found out Dean had been the one to take her virginity? Would they come to blows about it? Would Castiel listen to reason?

Dean now knows Claire had orchestrated the whole shower ordeal a couple months ago; she's admitted to it. Could he place all the blame on her and not feel guilty?

When he sat on the couch, he was still contemplating on how that encounter would end.

Now here it was hours later and he still didn't have any answers.

But he knew he was addicted and couldn't let her go. Claire Novack was the female version of himself.

He had met his match in sexual energy. She was a spitfire and gave as good as she got.

And boy, did she give! The blow job she’d delivered as she rode his face in the sixty-nine position had him blowing his load quicker than any blow job he'd ever got.

And she took in every drop, never leaving a single bead of cum behind. Claire had licked his whole shaft clean while she rode his tongue, giving him another taste of her sweet honey.

And now, just reminiscing about it all had his dick standing at attention, straining against his boxers.

He looked at the clock and seen it had been a couple hours since they’d last fucked and decided it was time for another round or two.

Walking into Claire’s bedroom he smirked as he watched her sleep, her body still bare and covered with his marks, from the hickeys and bite marks on her breasts to the finger-shaped bruises on her hips.

She was marked and he couldn't deny it felt good to know they were all his.

As he stood watching, Claire turned in her sleep and lay on her back, her legs spread with her pussy glistening with arousal.

‘Yep, she's going to be the death of me. But what a hell of a way to go!’

Dean approaches the side of the bed. He pulls his boxers down and leans down to whisper in her ear.

“Rise and shine my lil cockslut. Daddy’s dick needs attention.”

He slaps her cheek with his hard member and then slides it across her lips. He feels her smile against his shaft before parting her lips and sticking her tongue out.

“That's right. Suck my dick like the whore you are.”

Claire takes his cock in her mouth, ready and willing to let him use her how he sees fit.

Dean leans across the bed, Claire’s head underneath his groin area as he begins to fuck into her wet, hot mouth.

He suddenly stands and grabs her shoulders roughly running her body sideways across the bed and pulling Until her head is hanging off the side.

“Open that whore mouth,” he demands roughly and Claire abides. He thrusts into her once, twice Before he again leans over and forces Her legs apart.

He licks a stripe from her clit to her abused hole before sliding his tongue inside and fucking her with it.

Claire slides her legs up and plants her feet on bed, beginning to undulate to meet his mouth. Her moans vibrate against his postponing cock in her throat and he is loving it.

He can feel his balls begin to contract but he knows where he wants to put his load. He is dying to see her fit body colored with his seed.

He replaces his tongue with three of his fingers and goes back to licking and sucking her clit.

It doesn't take long before Claire is screaming around his dock as her climax hits and her juices sluice out of her and all over him. He smiles at being covered with her cum.

He stands and pulls out of her, jerking himself as his load shoots out and lands on her chest, stomach and neck. The last couple of drops drip onto her chin.

“Fuck, that's hot as hell!” he exclaims. “Pretty lil cockslut all Marked up and covered with cum.”

Claire slides a finger through the semen on her chest and rubs her finger over her nipples. Then she dips into the puddle On her stomach and brings her fingers to her mouth, sucking his cum off.

“Dirty little whore likes eating Daddy's cum?”

“Mm-hmm,” Claire hums.

In a surprise to them both, Dean bends down and licks his spendings from her neck and chin, then grabs a fistful of hair and lifts her head.

Claire opens her mouth, he's sure to make a smartass sarcastic comment, but before she can, he spits what he had on his tongue into her mouth.

“Swallow!”

He watches her throat constrict and release and smirks, knowing his cum is now swimming inside her.

It's a fucking turn-on to him. One he’d never really admitted, even to himself. Knowing his seed is coating her insides with no chance of disaster.

It gives him an idea so he roughly lift Claire’s body off the bed and tosses her to her stomach.

“Get up on all fours, whore. Daddy’s gonna take all your innocence,” he commands with a smack against her ass.

The skin jiggles as it reddens and he snacks it again. Claire moans as she lifts herself to her hands and knees.

“Lil girl likes being spanked, doesn't she?”

“Yes Daddy,” Claire moans out as his palm meets her flesh again. Dean leaves his hand on her ass and squeezes, Claire's head goes back as her body arches and she groans.

“You gonna be a good little slut and let me fuck this ass? Stretch that hole and fill it up?”

He leans over to whisper In her ear. “You want Daddy's cum in your ass?”

“God yes!” Claire exclaims, her eyes closed and her chest heaving.

“Such a good girl,” Dean smarms.

He stands to his full height and opens her cheeks to see the tiny pucker that he is planning to destroy. He spits right on it and uses his thumb to spread it around.

Claire moans and her head is hanging between her arms. As Dean begins to breach the hole with his thumb she tenses.

“Let me in,” he implores. “I have to prepare you.”

Claire relaxes and his thumb pops through the ring.

“Oh fuck!” Claire exclaims, lifting her head.

“It's only my thumb. Goddam this ass is tight. Gonna feel wonderful wrapped around my dick.”

Dean continues working his thumb into Claire’s ass until he is to the last knuckle. He adds a finger and Claire's moans like a whore in heat.

“Oooh baby girl likes having her ass full huh? Dirty slut.”

When he is sure she is ready, Dean grabs his dick and places the head next to the stretched hole.

“I'm gonna fuck you full of my cum.”

With one sharp thrust, Dean buries himself inside Claire's ass. Claire screams and tears roll down her face as her arms weaken and she drops to her chest.

Holding her hips in place, Dean begins thrusting hard and fast, his grip leaving yet more bruises.

“Play with yourself. Show me what a whore you are,” he pants, not letting up on his actions. “Get yourself off.”

Claire abides and before long they are both moaning and groaning.

Dean slows and leans over to watch Claire plunger her fingers into her own cunt. His dick throbs at the sight but he notices That her pretty little clit Is being neglected.

He clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Dirty girl can't even play with her own pussy correctly. “

He reaches around and pinches her clit between hHis finger and thumb and tugs.

Claire fucking loses it; moaning his name and standing to her knees.

Dean lets go of her clit, slapping against it one, two, three times before plunging his fingers into her soppy cunt.

He fingerfucks her pussy and his dick rams into her ass, feeling both holes contract and squeeze him.

“Slut want to cum? I can feel how close this little pussy is to just soaking me and the bed.”

“Uh uh.”

“Do you deserve to cum?”

“Uh uh.”

“Are you still a brat?”

“No Daddy.”

“Then-” Dean says as he finds that spongy spot inside her and presses. “-cum.”

Claire’s whole body vibrates and her pussy contracts, squeezing him and holding his fingers inside. Her climax shoots out of her and hits the mattress before her body completely falls.

Dean smiles down at the exhausted girl and restarts his thrust into her ass, racing to his end.

He howls as his release hits, his dick shooting ropes and ropes of his cum deep inside Claire's ass.

When he is finished, he pulls out and flops onto the bed beside Claire, who is still coming down for her own high.

She smiles at him and breathlessly tells him, “This is why I knew you were the man for the job.”

As Dean is drying from the second shower of the day, he notices another mark, a hickey on his neck. His body is littered with them, along with scratches on his back, arms and ass. But those could be hidden; this one though was visible even with clothes on.

He decides to wear it as a badge of honor and if Sam or Castiel or anyone else saw and asked, he'd just smile and tell them he was proud of it.

It wasn't a lie. He was proud and honored that Claire had chosen him to give herself to. Yes, she was young and yes, he was part of the reason her parents were dead but she had been smart and didn't just go off fucking any and everyone.

As Dean packs up his bag to leave before Jody returns he thinks that this worked out just fine for both of them -even if it’s a one time thing he’s got plenty of memories to get him through lonely nights.

Claire waves at him from the front door and he nods his head through the windshield before firing up Baby and backing out of the driveway, long before Jody could get home and find out.

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @leigh70

[dannystattoo]

Wedding Date Daniel

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Warnings: None, it's literally just tooth-rotting fluff

“Babe, are you sure I look ok?” You asked as you finished touching up your makeup. You’d originally planned to get into town yesterday for your cousin’s wedding, but Nashville had terrible storms the night before and no flights were getting in or out. You were now stressed about getting ready since you’d only been able to get in a few hours ago and the wedding was fast approaching.

“Sweetheart, how many times do I have to tell you, you look incredible,” Danny told you. Admittedly, the backless black dress you’d picked was very flattering, but you looked so exhausted no amount of makeup could make you look more human.

“I feel like you have to say that,” you said. You were convinced you looked like a gremlin who had slept at the airport the night before (because you were), and it was incurable.

“10/10, would gladly bang? Is that better?”He laughed. You lightly smacked him on the arm, though you appreciated the compliment more than you wanted to let on.

“You’re disgusting, you’re lucky you’re cute”

“In all seriousness baby, you don’t have to worry, I promise. Now, me on the other hand-”

“We talked about this, honey, are you worried my family isn’t gonna like you?”

“I dunno. I’ve only ever met your brother, your whole extended family is quite the jump”

“And they’ll love you, I know they will”

Danny shot you a look, and you could tell that he was more nervous about meeting your family than he would ever say.

“Honey, you have nothing to worry about. My brother loved you, and we had a great time when he came to Nashville over the summer.”

“Yeah, but your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins…”

“Don’t forget the pets, my cousin’s dog will absolutely be part of the wedding,” you laughed. You could tell that hadn’t eased his mind at all, so you sat down next to him and grabbed his cheek so you could pull him to face you.

“Listen Danny, I won’t sugar coat it, my family is a lot. There’s a lot of us, we’re loud, we like to party, and I promise everyone will be all over you. Everyone is really excited to meet you though, they’ve been telling me since you agreed to be my plus one. It’s gonna be great, by the time we get to the reception, you’ll forget you were ever nervous.” You leaned your forehead against his and kissed him on the nose.

“I also happen to really like you and can’t wait to show you off to my family.” You kissed him again, and this time he laid down to pull you on top of him.

“I hate to cut this short, babe, but we should probably call our Uber soon. The ceremony starts in a little over an hour. Don’t worry, we’ll pick up where we left off when we get back tonight.”

“I’m already looking forward to going home with the best looking girl at this wedding”

Danny grabbed his phone to order the Uber, but thankfully it was within arm’s reach so you could keep him pinned to the bed until you absolutely needed to leave.

A few hours after and the reception was in full swing. The ceremony had been uneventful, save for a few of your family members accosting you the second they saw you. It was a huge wedding though, and because you arrived on the later side, you were able to be seated towards the back.

“At least you’ll have a chance to ease into this” you said as you both sat down. There was no need to be worried, though, like you expected. Danny fit right in with your family immediately and everyone would tell you later how much they liked him. You even lost him a few times throughout the night, finding him talking to various relatives.

“You having a good time?” You asked as the dinner and speeches were wrapping up and people were starting to move towards the dance floor.

“Yeah! Your family’s pretty great”

“I knew they’d love you. Now as happy as that makes me, come spend a little time with your girlfriend please”

“Of course, baby. Wanna go get a drink refill and we can hit the dance floor?”

“Yes please”

Just as you guys made your way to the dance floor, the bride was about to throw the bouquet. You never understood the hype of this tradition, but you played along anyway and stood to the back of the floor.

“What, don’t wanna catch it?” Danny laughed in your ear.

“Eh, I just don’t care as much as everyone else I guess. Do you know who many bouquets I’ve caught at weddings? People have certainly gotten married before me.” What you didn’t expect was your cousin’s new wife had an ARM on her. Despite being in the back of the crowd, she hurled it far enough it made it directly to you.

“Oh that was so on purpose” Danny pointed out. You had to admit, it did feel aimed.

“What can I say, I think my family already decided they wanna keep you around”

“Good, I’m not intending to go anywhere.”

The rest of the night was a fun, drunken blur. Your family really knew how to throw a party, and this had to be the most fun wedding you’ve ever been to. By the last slow dance of the night, your shoes had long since been taken off and you were leaning into Danny, partially because you wanted to be as close to him as possible (you were very affectionate when you drank), and also because the room was spinning just the tiniest bit.

“You ok, darling?”

“‘M fine, those cocktails were just a lot stronger than I thought they’d be. The first one tasted so watered down!”

“You wanna go sit?”

“No, I’m good, I promise.” As soon as the song ended, the room was filled with cheers as the opening chords of Don’t Stop Believin’ started playing. You were nothing if not a sucker for 80s music, and you suddenly felt much better than you had a few minutes ago.

After a couple of songs played and the bride and groom were sent in their way, you managed to catch a ride back to the hotel with some of your cousins. In an attempt to avoid the surged Uber prices, you’d squeezed five people into the back seat, and you’re pretty sure someone had also put themselves in the back hatch of the car. It was a good thing you didn’t mind squeezing onto Danny’s lap at all. You leaned back against the window and shifted so you were laying your head on his chest as best as you could in the cramped backseat.

“Hi” you giggled as you looked up at him, the fact you were shoved in this clown car the funniest thing in your still drunken state.

“Hi yourself” he pulled you as tight to him as he could. “You still doing ok?"

“Mhmm, just really tired.” You had a decently long drive back to the hotel, seeing as the wedding venue was beautiful, but kind of in the middle of nowhere. You made yourself comfortable and were out before the stuffed car left the lot. You’d drunkenly insisted on bringing the bouquet you’d caught home with you, clutching it while you slept. You guys hadn’t been together all that long, coming up on a year in a few months, but something changed that night. After meeting your family, seeing you interact with everyone (including the kids and the dog who was, in fact part of the wedding party), and surviving sleeping on the floor of the Nashville airport together, he knew and he couldn’t stop thinking about it as he watched you sleep. He wouldn’t ask for a while, but he knew that you were the one. He was more excited to see you get excited about the bouquet than he wanted to admit since it seemed both to you were on the same page.

Lost in thought, the hotel came up sooner than expected.

“Honey, time to go,” he nudged you gently. As you groggily realized where you were, everyone else was already discussing plans to go have a nightcap at the hotel bar before heading up.

“Danny you guys in?” asked your brother, who had become Danny’s biggest fan at the wedding.

“I don’t know, probably not? Babe, do you wanna go hang out at the lobby bar before we go to bed?”

“No, I wanna sleep” you tried to burrow your way back into his chest.

“Yeah, I think we’ll pass tonight, but we’re still here for another day if you wanna do something tomorrow?”

“Sure thing, man. See you guys tomorrow, I hope. She’ll be a mess.” Danny waved to your brother and went back to trying to get you out of the car.

“Babe, you’ve gotta get up, we’re home.”

“I’m too tired, we have to go all the way to the top floor. Stay here,” you slurred.

“We can’t sleep in your cousin’s car, sweetie. Tell you what, can you let me out and I’ll carry you up?”

“Fine,” you agreed as you shifted off his lap. You managed to take a few steps out of the car, regretting the round of shots you’d been talked into five minutes before bar close. You hooked your arms around Danny’s neck and he grabbed your legs, carrying you inside.

“God this is embarrassing” you laughed as you leaned into his neck.

“Babe, I’ve seen much worse at weddings, trust me, this is tame.” When you got up to the room he made sure you had water and ibuprofen, and he managed to find some vending machine snacks for you in hopes it would soak up some of the alcohol.

“Ok, where are your pjs?” He dug through your suitcase, astounded by how much you squeezed into a carry on.

“Um, about that. I kinda didn’t pack any?”

“Do you want the leggings you wore on the plane?”

“I can’t sleep in pants, you know that.” You started laughing “I might have bought a couple new lingerie sets and planned to sleep in those…well nothing, preferably. We can still….if you wanna”

“Babe, I love you so much and trust me, I wanna see them, but you’re so so drunk right now. Let me grab one of my shirts and you can sleep in it ok?” He grabbed his well-worn Church of Rock & Roll shirt out of his bag and helped you change into it. Once he’d gotten himself taken care of, he came into bed and you immediately clung onto him like a koala.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” you said into his neck.

“A few times, but I never get sick of hearing it. Go to sleep angel, i don’t want you to get sick tomorrow” he had a feeling he’d probably still end up waking up with you in a few hours to hold your hair while you puked, but he could hope.

“Ok, I love you, I can’t wait to get married”

“What was that babe?”

“Well, I caught the bouquet so we have to get married next,” you drifted off to sleep, and Danny already knew you’d have no recollection of saying that tomorrow. He agreed though, and hoped you meant it when you said you couldn’t wait to get married.

[current-obsession-hoard]

So I watched Across the Spider-verse some time ago and here’s my thoughts:

Btw this is coming from a girl who watched Into the Spider-verse once and never rewatched it so I personally liked the recall thing at the start

DISCLAIMER: Spoilers are ahead, I do not know nor claim to know psychology or the comics, feel free to correct me on either of those topics and the fact that I have not watched the first one in a really long time

I love how we got a bit of Gwen’s POV and everything

OKAY YALL HEAR ME OUT ON THIS:

The coloring was so good oh my god

You know the scene at the beginning ish when Gwen comes home to her dad and goes to her room?

HER ROOM IS SAD AND DISMAL AND DARK COMPARED TO THE REST OF THE HOUSE AND HER DAD WHICH YOU CAN SEE AS HER DSD STANDS IN THE DOORWAY

BUT

BUT THEN SHE HUGS HIM AND THE LIGHT SPREADS TO HER

AND

WHEN GWEN AND HER DAD CONFRONT EACH OTHER AT THE END, AFTER THEY MAKE UP ITS SO GLOWY AND STUFF AND ITS LIKE SHES GETTING HER HOPE BACK AFTER CONVINCING HERSELF THAT HER DAD DOESNT LOVE HER ANYMORE AND IS GONBA DIE FOR THE PAST LIKE 3 MONTHS

So yeah that happened

Moving on,

That cliffhanger? Did not see it coming at all

But to be fair I did not know it was gonna be a two part thing so I was fully prepared for a full swing NOT LEAVING RIGHT AFTER MILES GETS CAPTURED BY HIMSELF.

Also I think Miles has such good reasons to be mad at Peter and Gwen and I think after they like save everyone woohoo, they need to sit down and talk because keeping that big of a secret from your friend is life changing dude

And literally my heart was gonna burst when Peter told Miles that he wanted a child because he wants a kid like Miles and just UGHDKSJDJF

That whole chase scene was so funny though because there were like a bajillion Spider-Man’s who could hypothetically stop Miles but they just. didn’t.

And I find that so funny

I also find funny that a random girl who Miles had never met before until like a couple hours ago helped him escape rather than his only friends. And like I get it, loyalty woohoo but also your friend is going through smth rn and as a 15 year old Spider-Man, y’all should be grateful he didn’t take it harder tbh

And now miguel o'hara.

Okay look at the start I loved him, he seemed like an Oliver Queen type who gets shit done but just is so easy to tease it’s funny

But then ya know he blew up

So just a disclaimer I know nothing of psychology and I won’t claim to, but here’s what I think

Miguel should NOT be leading a group. Like sure maybe in the future but now? Hell no

So I don’t know how recent the whole ‘messing with canon and destroying my whole family and myself in a universe thing’ was but it’s obviously very unresolved for him

There’s no way he can get closure for it, and also he’s very open about it so I feel like he’s aware that it will garner a sympathetic reaction and uses it on people to manipulate them and in turn thinks his trauma is resolved but really he’s just trying to squash it down with all this spider team for anomalies and stuff.

It’s not working.

He’s very prone to anger, pretty egotistical if he never listens to anyone but himself, apathy, probably sees himself as a monster, never trusts anyone, and basically he’s a dangerous gremlin who’s also the Hulk at the same time.

I think with his past (I have also never read any of the comics so feel free to correct me on any of this) hes very structured and just like ‘no mistakes’ which is understandable but really sad

He isn’t a good guy and he’s not a bad guy and he’s kinda like the police in like every superhero movie ever where they’re trying to tell you to follow the law/canon and everything, but it still doesn’t work.

Also Hobie? Top tier, he is the goat

So yeah that’s my thoughts in a brain dump

Personally, I already want the third one but that’s a whole 9 months away so

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted talk if you’ve made it this far

Enjoy the gif

[tera-91]

Half-cooked thoughts ... pt 1

So its been about a week since I type up a rant. A lot has happened.

Some good, some not so good.

At least I guess it depends on who is asked that question.

One of my little fluffballs seem to be doing well. I haven’t noticed much, every time I check things seem ok. I don’t check a lot, mostly because I’m afraid to. Afraid I will hear something that I don’t want to. But we are on another medication to make sure things sound right.

My other furball is healing from surgery. A long way to go before things are normal again. Healing a bone takes so long. Doesn’t help this fluffer is a high energy breed pup. Already is trying to hobble around faster than is advised. Isnt a good medicine taker, never has been. But the little gremlin is eating well so that is good.

Kind of sort of because of said pupper I decided to quit my job. It was just the last straw with the manager. I asked for some accommodation but of course he was just an ass about it. Said I could be given the accommodation if I worked hours that I said from the jump that I could not work. I didn’t just quit because of this, a lot of other stuff transpired before. This was just my breaking point.

I still have a hand full of shift left but I really don’t want to work with this manager any longer. The other one is ok. If I could just work with the other manager only. But even then I just swing between not caring in the slightest if I might be running late, to feeling like I’m on the edge of a panic attack. Mostly which depends on if I know who the manager will be there that day.

Like if I know it’s the one that makes the schedule I get fidgety and feel like I catch myself holding my breath before I leave to go to work. To the point that I leave in a panic and somehow get there upwards of 10 minutes early. Sometimes I clock in only because I am given a work item. But I know this manager knows. I did this once and I saw the way they looked at the clock. Almost like they were about to say something but I guess realized the amount of time wasn’t a lot so not worth it. Once I get there I flip flop between being angry to ready to bolt. Either way I just want to leave.

 If it’s the other one, the nicer one. If I’m running late I don’t particularly care, I know they wont blow up about me being under 5 minutes late.

[possumsinpeoplesuits]

These are really good warmups for my other projects, but I sometimes giggle at how much research into mythology and folklore I've slipped into this saga about a transgender catgirl familiar's vendetta against the local gnome population. I do the same writing smut, that's where all the characters and this worldbuilding is coming from, but I'm just like...

"Hey, welcome to this story about wizard fucking and petplay. I hope you brought your copy of the Kalevala and some notes about ancient languages, because you're not allowed to cum unless you have foreknowledge of Louhi kidnapping Anniki so Ilmarinen would make the Sampo for her and how much effort I put into combining Sumerian words with vaguely Germanic roots to make my own fucking elvish. Hell, you're not allowed to touch yourself at all until you look up the various myths about the settlement of Ireland, because how else will you know where I got most of the names for the Mage Houses?"

I usually say I'm Ace or Demi, but I think I'm just so autistic that I literally can't imagine sex without mythology infodumps. I fucking lost my virginity after showing my partner that fucking Sampo movie that was on an episode of MST3K because my hyperfixation on Finno-estonian mythology was in full swing at the time.

We'd been dating online for a bit but it was the first time we'd met in person, and I still let them nut in me because they listened to me explain the three parts of the soul in Finnic shamanism. Apparently all it takes is letting me ramble about henki, itse, and luonto for an hour and I'll let someone go bareback in a hotel room on the first date.

I don't even know why. Finno-Estonian myth has been this huge interest of mine for like a decade now, but I don't have any cultural background there because I grew up in an Amish area of fucking Texas, so I have no idea why the autism gremlins have latched onto it so hard.

Maybe I had a previous life there, but probably not as a human or anything. Some kind of bird like a corvid or whatever the local equivalent is, before my pleasant feathery life of screaming and collecting shiny things was tragically cut short by a ravenous, butt naked gnome up in Lapland somewhere.

If you're still out there, you frostbitten tonttu fuck, you may have struck me down once, but I've returned more powerful than ever before! Run as fast as your tiny little gnome legs will carry you if you think it will help.

Get ready, Terho. Not even death will save you from my judgement.

So, apparently in other cities, the word gnome refers to people who're almost dwarf sized? No wonder everyone gets so mad when I catch gnomes here in Thaum, they probably think I'm some kind of serial killer!

Our gnomes are like rats in the shape of tiny people. The feral ones don't really say much, but a few of the ones in the city learned to parrot curse words because that's usually what they hear after they bite someone's toes, or stab them in the arse with a crochet needle.

City ferals like to find little corners and crawlspaces in houses and steal food and stuff from the kitchens, which usually isn't a problem if there's just one, but you can't count on your eyes to know that for sure! They're shockingly good at illusions, so you should leave some flour on your pantry floor to count how many footprints there are. If there's more than one, don't wait! Go to your nearest guild or tavern hunt board immediately!

Gnome catching is actually a really lucrative job for adventurers who're just starting out, because one pair of feral gnomes can swell up to several hundred in a year, and it's not like they're going to stop anytime soon! You also might consider investing in a cat to sniff them out. We're great at seeing through illusions, and might be cheaper in the long term than schlepping downtown to put out quest after quest!

According to Simon, gnomes aren't a problem out in the hill country because they have so many natural predators, like cait sidhe and grimalkins who catch them by the dozens, which probably explains my urges! Come to think of it, those are both feline races from the Hulderwald, so maybe gnomes really were rats that the fae changed to look like little beardy men?

Up north where the skalds and noita come from, they had another solution to gnomes eating their crops and getting into the chicken coops: Domestication! Domesticated gnome breeds like nisse, tomte, and tonttu basically work like tiny little guard dogs to keep the feral gnomes away from gardens, shops, and homes, and there's usually a few gnome buggeries in every city for a good selection!

The main differentiation between domestic and feral gnome breeds is that Domesticated gnomes wear little red hats and tunics instead of letting their twig and bollocks flop about. There's usually a name sewn into the inside brim of their caps, too, kinda like the collars familiars wear!

They're also much smarter. Not only can they understand short sentences, they know that their porridge and safe sleeping place are dependent on playing nice and patrolling the estate with their little forks like tiny personal guards against their barbarous cousins, so they stay on their BEST behavior.

You might have to replace them here and there, though. Since they roam about, it's not uncommon for them to get carried away by birds, or eaten by, say, cat familiars who're too entranced by the prospect of such a well fed little morsel to notice they're not spouting curse words with their dicks out like a lush after the taverns close.

My point in explaining all this is so you understand that I'm doing very important work when I go gnome hunting, so please stop calling the city guards when I show my trophies on the Orblr! Every time they come by the dorms we have to bribe them to go away, and it's getting really expensive!

Are a couple of deliciously plump pets really worth getting eaten out of house and home by a bunch of tiny naked men who want to steal your toenails before going back to fucking in your walls like it's the back room of a bathhouse? I think not!

All I ask, from the bottom of my heart, is for a bit of compassion and wizardry solidarity! I need you to understand that my gnome crimes are honest mistakes, and it's okay to let your house gnomes outside once in a while!

Preferably the plump ones. Maybe with a bit of wine first so they're extra slow.

You know, as a sign of trust...

[yutamayo]

Y'all r crazy if u think I wouldn't fr fall in love with an AI robot like these dystopian movies got me trippin BC I'm not talking no girlfriend thru the phone I'm talking sci-fi robot in a human skin the way I would bang and love that AI with my whole heart I'm not even joking I wish we were there already but the world will probs burn before we get access to that good shit so for now I will dream.

[byhees]

strawberry jam.

엔하이픈 정원 ・ female reader + word count 1000 genre fluff roommates au college au warnings not proof-read — more

a/n. blank

with the tip of your toes softly smacking the wooden tiling of the floor, muted echoes bouncing off the four walls of the living room, you grasped that you’d better stay quiet. it was one in the morning, and you had no business being up at this hour, knowing full well that you had a fully packed schedule ahead.

in your heart, you were channeling some inner gremlin, snooping around your dorm like some rodent. however, your stomach made the call, growling and gurgling horrendously loudly in the break of dawn. you weren’t going to ignore its cries for food any longer, because it was starting to get more distracting, preoccupying your mind with mindless thoughts, when you should have been fast asleep.

for you, at least, weird cravings were always popping up in your mind, clouding your concentration whenever you were doing something that was genuinely important. a recent one was strawberry jam.

you were always a fan of strawberries. with every bite, there would always be an explosion of an addictive hint of tartness, combined with the flavourful sweetness. the taste alone was capable of a fully fledged strawberry addiction.

as of late, you started being more adventurous with strawberry products, choosing to buy things like strawberry ice cream, strawberry gummies, strawberry flavoured drinks, and the like. unexpectedly, you never really experienced that same mind-blowing ‘click’ that’d usually come with natural strawberries.

understanding your own palate preferences only strengthened the belief that you hated artificial strawberry flavoured things. hence, you resorted to the world of youtube tutorials, and decided to make your own homemade strawberry jam.

it sounded simple. crush the strawberries till they’re mashed, add the sugar and lemon juice in a saucepan to begin stirring over low heat, boil the mixture, and store it in a cool, dark area; you had never expected for a seven minute video to be this life-changing, but you had been making your own strawberry jam for the last four months, fridge stocked up with jars of the jam.

feet cautiously tapping against the smooth tiles, you gingerly snaked your arms to grab onto the handle of the fridge, the shape fitting nicely in your grip.

this was the hardest part; opening the fridge without causing a ruckus. from past experiences, where you boldly swung the fridge door open, creating the most deafening noise, fracturing the fragile veil of silence, you learnt that you had to do the complete opposite.

you remembered the mortified look on your roommate’s face as he turned the corner, expecting to see some robber jacking his air fryer or something. he was visibly relieved, yet appalled, when he caught sight of your fluffy winnie-the-pooh pyjama pants, because in his opinion, there was no way a thief would steal something in such a ridiculous, eye-catching outfit; your roommate, jungwon, who couldn’t resist telling you off, nagging at you like you were committing a felony for eating buttered popcorn at two in the morning.

your previous experiences taught you well, because according to yourself, you had mastered the skills to silently open a fridge.

you began to grip on the fridge handle tightly, your non-dominant hand applying a bit of pressure on the door, as the side of your dominant hand slid itself in between the fridge door and the fridge body. fingers carefully and slowly tugging at the seal of the fridge, you felt your heart thumping and pounding as though it were a train on tracks, the sound blaring into your ears.

as your persistently pried the fridge door open, you could see the faint streaks of light peering through the opening, ‘inflaming’ the abyss-blackness of the kitchen. gently, you tugged on it for a few more seconds, the fridge door swinging open slowly without much resistance.

giving yourself a small pat on the shoulder for how successful your attempt was, you now relished in being able to munch to your heart’s content.

timidly, you reached for the familiar glass jar, which had a big sticker label pasted diagonally on its surface. it read ‘y/n’s jam. DO. NOT. TOUCH’, so it was pretty self explanatory. the vermillion red hue of its contents seemed so incredibly tempting, even under the dingy light of the fridge. upon touch, you softly winced at the coolness of the material, your grip being rather frictionless with the gradual trickling of condensation droplets. you could feel victory approaching with fastened steps. just open the lid and grab a spoon, easy!

wrapping the lid of the glass jar with the hem of your shirt, you twisted it with much effort. to your dismay, there was a ‘pop’ that splintered the peaceful silence, fading into tintinnabulation. you could just sense jungwon stomping down the hall with his disheveled hair and his striped pyjamas.

the chilly air emitting from the open fridge now nipping and tingling against your chilblained feet, you could hear the vague sound of approaching footsteps.

jungwon had been sleeping rather peacefully actually, until his slumber was rudely disrupted by a sudden ping. he was half-awake, and still regaining his consciousness, as he stumbled down the dimmed hallway.

when he saw nothing that was particularly alarming in the living room, he turned to the only other place left— the kitchen.

the second he walked round the corner, he was blinded by the unpleasant burst of light. from the harsh squinting of his eyes, he could make out a glowing figure, which was frozen in its position. if he hadn’t recognised those neon-green mike wazowski shorts, he would’ve thought it was an angel, who was, for some reason, raiding his kitchen??

safe to say, jungwon gave you one long chiding for your occasional fridge scavenge, and he even went as far as to judge your preference to eat strawberry jam on its own, proclaiming that it was too thick and sweet to be consumed alone.

a night that was supposed to end with a pleased stomach, now ended with a debate regarding how one should eat jam.

[stevesbipanic]

I love your writing posts and the prompts so. freaking. much. Everything is a source of inspiration for little artist like me!

Sooo, how about some Halloween themed Steddie? 🖤🎃

Ahhh Ty, it's wild that I could be an inspiration for any art since all of you artists on here are so talented 😍💖

I'm in a spooky mood so here's some Halloween Steddie for you.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Halloween had been a sore spot for Steve since '84. When your girlfriend breaks your heart on a holiday it kind of makes you hate the holiday. Eddie however, loved Halloween, which was unsurprising. October 1st Steve showed up to his boyfriend's trailer and saw it already decked out in skeletons and bats.

"You'd think you'd be sick of bats after what we went through, Eds."

"If anything bats are more metal now, Stevie."

Eddie had asked Steve if they could have a Halloween party at his house weeks in advance and of course Steve had said yes not wanting to spoil the fun for his boyfriend.

They'd decided to go as Claire and Bender from The Breakfast Club, mainly cause Eddie would get a kick out of calling Steve "The Princess" all night as if he hadn't called Steve that numerous times before.

Nancy and Argyle had agreed to pick everyone up in their cars leaving Steve and Eddie enough time to finish the food and decorations.

"It looks great sweetheart, like the haunted house of my dreams."

"Only you would have happy dreams about haunted houses."

By the time everyone had arrived, Steve had just finished setting out all the food while Eddie was finishing his eyeliner. The kids tumbled through the door when Steve answered it, beelining it to the food.

"Hey Princess where's your Criminal?"

"Haha, hey Robs nice Fred outfit where's your Daphne? Ed's upstairs."

"Nance is helping Will fix his coat, a button came loose in the car but they'll be in in a minute."

Once Eddie came downstairs the party was in full swing and Steve was actually having a good time. After a few hours the kids were starting to get drowsy so Steve set out the spare mattress and blankets, setting up Gremlins for them to watch as they all fell asleep.

The older group moved to sitting out by the pool, wanting to engage in non kid-friendly activities. Eddie, Jonathan and Argyle passed around a joint which Eddie occasionally shotgunned to Steve while the group passed around dumb stories and drank.

Eventually even the teens had to sleep splitting into the guest rooms and Eddie following Steve to his room. The two boys helped each other wipe off what was left of their makeup and into comfy clothes before laying down in bed.

"Thank you for making Halloween fun again, Eds"

"Anytime sweetheart. I know the day had a bit of a black mark for you with Wheeler and all but I really love that you tried for me. My favourite princess" Eddie said giggling softly and kissing Steve's cheek.

"Of course Eddie, I'd do anything to make you smile. I-I love you Eds," they'd never said the words to each other but now felt right, it was time to make a good Halloween memory.

Eddie moved forward capturing Steve's lips kissing him deeply, "I love you too, Stevie."

Now whenever Steve thought of Halloween there was no mention of bullshit or punch or broken hearts, just two boys madly in love with each other.

[the-emptied-brain-contents]

I just had this idea, dsmp members becoming the aunt/uncle from another family to the reader's kids. In other words, fluffy chaos

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐬𝐦𝐩 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭/𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬

Karl Jacobs • Wilbur Soot • Tommyinnit • Nihachu • Technoblade

Pronouns: Gender Neutral!

A/N: Ahh sorry it took so long to get this written! Tysm anon!! :D

Spoils. Them. Rotten.

The kids would always be super excited when their uncle came to visit, since he would usually be pretty busy making videos with Mr. Beast

SPEAKING OF

He would sometimes (much to your dismay) sneak the kids on set while shooting

If Mr. Beast was doing a challenge, Karl would definitely find ways for the kiddos to help out with the mild torture :)

If one of the kids wanted to learn how to skate like their favorite uncle, he would be SO careful when teaching them

will not even let them TOUCH the board without elbow pads, knee pads, palm guards, and a helmet

when they're finally confident enough to push off on their own, Karl would be following them closely with his hands hovering just in case they fall

If they did end up hurting themselves (bound to happen at some point) he would pick them up and carry them in the house, then hold their hand while you cleaned up any cuts

If the family was spending the day at home together, you can bet that he's sneaking them candy whenever you leave the room

He thinks you don't notice

You do.

He'll try to sputter out an explanation for why their eyes are the size of pool balls but eventually gives up and you confiscate the bag D:

you eat it while hiding in the bathroom at 2 am tho

«────── « ⋅𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐫⋅ » ──────»

Human jungle gym.

If the family was walking around Brighton together, he would carry them on his shoulders

No matter how many kids you have, he would find an arm to make sure ALL of them were closer to his eye level

its honestly kind of adorable

maybe aside from the part where the kiddos are pulling on his hair and ears trying to "steer" him

The kids love him almost as much as he loves them

they would all play wrestle together, and for whatever reason, they LOVE getting the opportunity to "beat him up"

they get it from you

While he does love spending time with his nieces/nephews, I think he also does it to give you a break from the constant chaos

he's happy to dramatically fall to the floor after a devastating punch from a 5 year old if it means you can doze off for an hour :')

«────── « ⋅𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲⋅ » ──────»

oh my.

listen. I know that some of the gremlin energy is a bit. But I think being surrounded by children would make it all come out

something about being looked in the face by a deranged toddler would cause even an angel's eye to twitch

they scream at him? he screams right back

matching the energy ™ 

If it was more chilled out I honestly think he would be super responsible around them though

a little more lenient than you are are, but he definitely makes sure they follow certain rules

bedtimes, candy, screen time etc.

"not today, we'll see if we can do it another time"

he doesn't like being the "bad guy", but he would want your boundaries to be respected. ESPECIALLY with your kids

but even if they're a little upset they can't go do something, they love him to death <3

«────── « ⋅𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐢⋅ » ──────»

i love her so much lets start out with that

so she did a baking stream around Halloween and IT WAS SO COZY

imagine doing a baking stream with her and the kiddos?? so much cuteness

she would be SO caring and attentive towards them

a lot of people tend to dismiss what kids have to say, but she would *actually* listen to them

even the made up stories they claim totally happened, she would give them her full attention

#1 cheerleader

they show her something they drew? they get a big hug and kiss on the cheek

they sing a song for her? rounds of applause

if the family went on a walk together, you and Niki would swing one of the kids back and forth between you two

(idk how to better explain that)

they LOVE staying the night at Aunt Niki's

they would stay up late together while watching movies or reading a book

You knew this happened since the kids would be half-asleep while walking out the door to your car

but you honestly can't be too upset because of the smiles on the kid's face when they tell you about everything that happened

«────── « ⋅𝐓𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨⋅ » ──────»

Okay so you know those people that will talk to a baby like they're a full ass adult? That's Techno.

"Hello... how are you?"

he would be a little awkward around them, even if he's known them since they were born

"why is it looking at me like that?"

the kids still absolutely adore him

for what he didn't say in words, he would make up with gifts

when one of the babies are born, he would get them fluffy blankets and a stuffed animal

maybe a techno plushie?

floof!!

the kids LOVE floof!

floof is scared of the kids.

in all fairness they are terrifying.

they also get this from you

uncle is rated 5 stars on yelp!

kids are the best judge of character, so it makes sense that they cling to his every word

a/n: teehee i missed doing this xx have a good day/night babies <3

[fisherrprince]

do you have more thoughts on keyblade fighting that you need to put somewhere, because i have two hands ready to catch Should The Need Arise

anon: hey I heard you mention you’d analysed the combat styles in KH and what you said in the tags was already alluding to really neat stuff, but I for one would love to hear more of what you came up with!! so if you ever wanted to share any of your analysis then the floor is yours

aHAH, MY EXCUSE!!

Okay, so first some words on “standardized wielding styles”. These are styles shared by Terra, Aqua, Vanitas, Riku, and Xehanort and every other scala and daybreak kid. I will make the argument that the red style is the fanciest standard style, while the purple is seen often to make it easier on the little chibi sprites. BUT, I cannot discredit Eraqus, who uses the purple variant in bbs, nor can I discredit half of the Foretellers (Gula and Ava, at least, use this. Invi and Aced use the first type). So, two standard styles. For simplicity, let’s say one for primary offense, one for primary defense. The standard offensive style really wasn’t popular before Scala-era society.

check this difference out, specifically between ava invi and gula:

then between eraqus, hermod, and xehanort, and eraqus and terra.

These two were likely popularized and standardized for education in Scala ad Caelum for their predominant lack of obvious weak spots.

After this, we have unique styles. Those include Sora Kairi and Xion’s (similar to standard defense, but more mobile at the expense of form — Kairi takes after Sora but less confident, she hasn’t been hit that heavily yet), Ven’s (backhand, heavy range and mobility), Roxas’ (modified for two keyblades, but takes after Sora), and Axel’s (taught himself, comfortable with chakrams).

So! Let’s go.

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Standard (offensive)

All styles have sub-variations, of a sense. Different wielders can choose where their keyblade points, and how they hold it exactly, based on what makes them most comfortable. Terra and Aqua point theirs downward, while Vanitas and Riku hold theirs above their head. What is recognizeable to this style is a hand for the sword, and a hand for guarding/blocking/items/magic.

It’s incredibly efficient. With only one hand on the weapon, you not only free up a hand for other things, but increase your range of movement with said weapon. Test it out yourself! The keyblade hand is always your dominant hand, held behind you for increased power when attacking (since you lose a significant amount of it by choosing not to grip with both hands). This style also decreases the speed of the defense you have, but with that increased mobility and swing power, along with a hand free to brace against the keyblade (defense strength up!), it makes up for it. Many people who use this also have strong barrier spells — both a testament to their preference for coverage and an acknowledgement that any directional block will take a little longer and be weaker if they try it with one hand.

The pointy end, though. What difference does it actually make, the height it’s at?

I think it’s half a matter of attack style preference and half intention. Riku, Vanitas, and Xehanort stab quite a bit. Aqua and Terra slice more. Not that they don’t do both, but it’s the first instinct. Aqua and Terra are also likely taught to hold their keyblade neutrally, in a safe position, until someone starts attacking. It’s polite! Eraqus also holds his one-handed, neutrally, until he gets into position. Riku and Vanitas learned to fight assuming everyone was out to fight them. Invi and Aced may like this style because of range (i hc she’s blind and strikes very very quickly, and he’s already very powerful with just the one arm and wants better motion).

and on character specifics: Terra often switches to two-handed, to copy his dad and add extra power to his hits without always sacrificing the empty hand. Vanitas likely was forced to relearn how to fight, as instead of solely being trained to be better at withstanding, he was constantly being made to better his own attacks. The moves Xehanort uses would best be replicated in the same style. Vanitas is wild for holding the massive spiky x-blade like that.

Now, what‘s good on this style does not correlate to what’s bad in the other. The two standard styles simply have different ways of dealing with each con they create or taking advantage of each pro.

(Here’s an interesting side note — Gula uses standard defensive, but in this instance, swaps. One hand… likely to display confidence! Wrong move, but hey. He got cocky. He’s also doing it wrong, and swaps back to two-handed to take Aced’s attack.)

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Standard (defensive)

The main detriment of this style is the lack of ease of long range movement. Hold a wrapping paper tube out in front of you with both hands, then run. It goes to the side, or tucks in to your stomach, right? Dodge. Your legs will get in the way unless you know where to move that sword. It requires, interestingly, a little more discipline. You’d think Aqua would like that, but no, she wants movement and practicality, and she loves magic, and remember that you must take a hand off this style to grab a potion. You’d think young Eraqus wouldn’t, but remember that he’s a fancy royal lad.

The main draw, though, is tankiness, readiness, and power. You don’t need to move as much if nothing dares hit you! Ava and Gula might be attracted to this style because they’re not as physically strong, but want protection in close-quarters fighting. Using this style when your muscles aren’t as big but you still want to Hit Things Good, or when you want to be a boy you can’t knock over with a pail of water (horse stance rules), is probably solid advice.

Traditionally, this is a lot less like fencing, and a lot more like a samurai sword or kendo. Your blade is held in front of you, giving you very easy access to blocks and frontal attack/defense. In losing some twirly spinniness, you gain power and minimize your opponent’s ability to parry and block.

you gotta dodge master Eraqus so mcuh

All styles will swap between one and two hands for different moves. Eraqus, notably, swaps to a stance very similar to Xehanort when channeling a metric ton of magic.

Both of these styles require a degree of upper body/core strength, as does all swordfighting. I would be interested to see someone whose keyblade style relies on leg strength.

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Sora, Xion, and Kairi

please look at the difference between the foretellers’ or eraqus’ two-handed grip and Sora’s. Do this with your shoulders and a top-heavy object.

They’re both in a hard stance, but hon. What are you, a gremlin? Anyways, a traditionally taught master would have… better form, even if it’s harder to learn at first. It’s habitual. Sora nearly crouches, and holds his keyblade back-pointed with two hands, which makes it easier for him to dodge roll, push off his feet quickly, and pull off those spinning combos he loves. It‘s really gonna hurt his muscles, in the future, though, since he’s doing a squat for like…. hours. Pulling on those shoulderblades and neck. Xion, too. Replicas had better have correct muscle dynamics. Kairi is brand new, so… maybe Aqua can teach her how to hold a sword so it doesnt hurt you.

Okay, now look at the grip itself. Held in front versus held to the side-back. They’re really attempting to combine both standard styles subconsciously, giving themselves more attack power while really wanting to keep that hard defensive parry, wanting to prevent all attacks to the front while also wanting mobility. It’s working for them really well, they fight like an anime character, and manage to get the best of both, with a minor sacrifice of length range that they don’t care about. We’re flexible and full of magic, baby! Holding the blade like this makes it pretty easy to let go with one hand without sacrificing that crouched defense position.

Now, Sora, specifically, is very adaptive. He’s had two keyblades, claws, guns, yo-yos, and a giant shield, to name a couple. He retains a bit of that alert crouch no matter where he goes, but Sora knows how he wants to attack and how to balance that with the most effective way to use his current weapon. He’s a smart kid! Sora has the most ridiculous shotlocks, which are also probably due to not always wanting to go standard for it. He also prefers to keep his focus on the enemy, which is evident in his reprisals and lack of very many effective “escape” moves.

Xion is very similar to Sora, but she does have some moves that are all movement. She switches to one handed for strikes a lot — using two for defending, one for smacking. In her data battle I’d swear some of those heavy hits are claymore-like. But anyways, since we’re magic, Xion cares not for the laws of exhaustion, and will ping about as a ball of light everywhere. Short range? Up in your business. Mid-range? In your business with one hand. Long range? Throws a boomerang. Hit her? No you dont. Ball of light. She’s above you and wants to bash your head in. (Vanitas also does this! A lot. It’s an easy way to catch someone off-guard. I’ll argue that the soras are very tough and strong, but not tanky. they want to avoid being hit a lot)

Another interesting note about Kairi. I say “unconfident” not because she doesn’t hit hard, but because her stance is also often tilted back, ready to dodge. It’s two handed, but almost all her moves are one. She does love spinning and throwing the thing! It looks like she’s been taking notes from the wielders she knows. It would be easy to teach her a standard style, I think. See here, she lets go on the strike, and by trying to do both, actually ends up with an advantage (being confusing) and disadvantage (losing both the power of two handed and versatility of one handed).

A counter to Sora and Xion is difficult to pin down. Time? Probably. Lack of heating pads. Something that takes all their attention is about the only way to get a sneak attack in, and then you have to hit hard. A counter to Kairi would be anyone who can knock her off balance. She needs a sturdier stance. .

Roxas

Roxas is interesting. He takes after Sora for the one blade. Wielding two, however, nets him a totally different way of fighting. Roxas’ clavicle muscles n… deltoids and stuff must be Ironclad. Also, two handed means you are very fast and sharp all the time. He has the advantage of standard defense (horse stance), and the advantage of offense (range of one sword, but twice).

Roxas generally attacks in two ways — simultaneous hits, and follow-up hits. Either he hits with both at once, or hits hard with the first one, and adds the second one as a bonus smack. He can attack by hitting in opposite directions with the two, like a drum, but that will be a little awkward and leave him prone to being tangled. That established, the follow-up hit method means he spins a bunch. As do we all.

Roxas gets a little complicated because we are not in the real world. We have magic and turning into light and physics that let you become a circular saw. So, typically, disadvantages would include: being unable to let go of a weapon to grab something or use an item, having just a very big silhouette to attack on, having difficulty with close-range attacks because Oathkeeper and Oblivion are kinda long, and convenience. Roxas gets to dodge #1 (keyblades can be unsummoned) and #4 (keyblades can be unsummoned). Speaking of dodging, he also gets to skirt the difficulty of dodging and rolling with two swords because he turns into a beam of light. But he can’t dodge how difficult it is to use two swords effectively — he needs to concentrate on fighting, and nothing else, or he risks messing up. He has to be very, very coordinated, and undistracted. Luckily he’s pretty good at making his opponents shut up, most of the time. Blocking is another thing — theoretically his blocks could be strong, but Roxas has no real brace: crossing your blades and taking a hefty stab might smack one of them back into your face. He mostly uses reversals and dodges, because of this.

The takeaway to this is Roxas is built for speed and power, and he is very strong. He’s a mid- to far- range fighter who if you’re not careful can snap you in half if you’re too close (be SO careful of that cross blade scissor).

A perfect counter to Roxas would be a tank that can grapple, and also be very distracting. If you can take hits, be talkative, and get close enough to stop his blades, you have a chance.

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Ventus

This is a bizarre choice, my guy, but I get it.

Backhanded weapons are very impractical for a lot of... attacking, mainly in mid-range combat, and Ven likes to either fight very close or throw the keyblade like a boomerang (and hey, backhand gives it a good whip for throwing). His attacks aren’t meant to one hit KO, but they do come with a bit of power to them, especially on the backslash. Like holding a knife for gouging. It’s for very close defense — pretty good when Wayward Wind and Missing Ache have hooks.

Backhand also, while retaining that empty hand for potions and guarding, gives you an extreme coverage boost. By which I mean Ven’s sword hand now has a nearly 270 degree sweep of “I see you, don’t touch me”, very quickly, based on just flicking his wrist. It sacrifices a ton of strength/sturdiness, but you don’t need that if you’re dodging. You also don’t really need to block, which is slower, but relatively sturdy when Ven does it, as he blocks with mostly the chunky hilt between crossed arms. He sacrifices (again) a bit of strength for coverage — an attack would hurt his arms, not his chest, if he were hit head-on.

His attacks often have him flip the blade around in his hand, too. Quick swaps between standard moves and backhand ones. Basically, Ventus is built for moving, protecting himself, and quick attacks that wear down the enemy, not outclass it. Likely because he’s good at fighting, but everyone he’s fought hits harder than he can! It doesn’t matter how he holds it, getting hit will hurt. So he just. Doesn’t. He’s not a buff little guy — but he is a persistent one. Ven very likely made this up on his own, in Daybreak, and it was too hard to fix his whole style, but it was enough to correct most of his form so he doesn’t hurt himself too much. He is going to have to really stretch that shoulder and wrist (maybe get a brace), though. At least his neck is ok. … not sure about his knees tho dang boy that crouch

A perfect counter to Ven would be someone big and fast, who hits hard mid-range. He’s already been sparring with Terra, though, so when in doubt, try scruffing him?

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Axel

Theres not a ton to say about him — he‘s not a swordfighter. He uses his keyblade like it’s a frisbee. Because that’s what he’s used to! His neutral is behind his back on his shoulder, which is terrible for readiness, but okay for chucking the thing. It’s good it has a sort of… ripstik like… boomerang quality.

Axel’s fighting style is completely made up, like most of the self-taught wielders’. His strengths lie in some of the benefits of standard offensive style (one-handed), and some of the same coverage stuff as Ven, having a cocked wrist most of the time so no one can sneak up around him without risking getting whacked very quickly, and having an interesting range due to the pointy end being basically on a spinny swivel wherever his hand moves. He’s not going to be good at close-range and he knows it — his attacks are mostly distance. And the guy has ZERO defense, combined with zero coverage when idle, so it’s for the better.

Distance-wise, though, he rocks. Treating the blade like it’s a flaming throwing weapon means his idle is actually great for sudden flick-tossing and attention-guiding for sneakier attacks, and his stance itself (…nonexistent) serves a different purpose: bait. Basically a big "come hit me". Fun, when you have a lot of fire magic and two friends who are beasts and love to take advantage of a distracted enemy — distance on the blade, proximity on the burning.

A perfect counter to Axel would be someone pinging around very close <—> very far and circling him incessantly. Like, data Xion could wreck him, as he has to wait for the boomerang to come back -- he no longer has two spinny wheels. Also someone with water magic.

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SO! In conclusion! Having a teacher who teaches you correct sword usage rather than instinct may detract from overspecific styles that benefit you most but leave weak spots, but your muscles and your oversights will thank you. Everyone is glad we have the power of the Mouse and anime on our side.

Keep in mind again that I have done cursory research, and have had minimal actual sword instruction, I am not an expert and this is all for fun anyways :]

[astranne]

MASTERLIST MADE UP FANFIC TITLES

notes // here are all sent asks from the not so planned event linked. it‘s going to take a while to write all of these. blame foxie. i do too. all titles are linked in the order in which they have been posted.

please note that some titles contain suggestive themes/or talk about nsfw things/pairs not everyone will like. these are no full works, but something like 'summaries' to the fanfic titles which have been sent. sometimes there is a bit more, sometimes there is a bit less. if you're very sensitive to the things named above, then don't read. while my main doesn't have explicit themes, some titles sent are, or at least mention it. if you see a title like that, and don't want to read then don't read. it's this easy.

free candy the white van said // Long-Awaited Secrets Revealed // expense it on my business card, he said // I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you // A Tale bound for the Stars // Oh Mary and Jane, Don't be Simping on Main // Forget the man I used to be and four more titles // 101 things NOT to do with a panda: stealing one from China to deal with the estate's invasive overgrown forest of bamboo // Baby don't worry // No matter where I look, high or low, I still can't find you hoe // be a pathetic social worm getting crushed by lifeTM // reflection in the void // 50 shades of mud // Green Hell // Good luck biting through steel greaves you gremlin // Emergency Food or World Guide: The Debate // Anemo, Electro and....*reads smudged writing* grass? // Dreaming about New Ways to Torture (baby‘s first stand) // "tutorial on how to crack an egg" seconds before disaster // Pretending We Know Things (How Does One Work This "Oven") // Unending Memes Encryption // Not friendly for introverts nor kids // cry for your mama, scoff at your dada // You're the Lightning to My Sound of Thunder // Call Me The Champion (of the Accidental Meme Smackdown) // I see the cosmos in your eyes (do I live in it?) // i'm a mess on fire but no amount of water will fix me // My Physics Professor made me do it // When all the stars go down, a strange type of sound // Dancing in the Dark // If I drop this coffee, someone is going to Die // "Gaze Not into the Abyss, Lest it Gaze Back" // You don't know whether you're dealing with a god, a king or an alien bent on world domination // The Print Was So Small, We Didn't Understand // We Sit Our Thrones (It's Time to Say Goodbye) // Everything wanted to kill me but I lived out of spite // Identity Crisis: The Musical // Why should I hire you? // Dabi's 504 methods of evading taxes // The extraordinarily ordinary life of brothers // Make War Not Tea // It's funny how you think you're still the king (karma is a bitch) // Invincible, We Live Like Legends // The Taste of Who You Are // Past Turns To Dust (Pour It Into The Hourglass) // From Winter Song to Noble Blood (Undo It All) // Mood swings can cause weather change, don't you know? // You sent me a letter. What is this, the medieval times? // "Alright, which fucker broke this again" // Bad Apple (The Prettiest Poison Apple) // We're an endless stream of choices (a haunting melody) // Stay Strong (You're Not Allowed To Laugh) // A Twisted Happy Ever After To Behold (you wanted to fade away? Too late) // We all want to be somebody, but you always wanted to be nobody // Sung Jinah's Secret Pandora Box // Dragons....in MY land? // Oh No, Extreme Dad Energy // Down the rabbit hole but found a fox // the stupidest thing you can give to a child // Flower of Hell (Assassins, Outlaws and Outsiders) // Fishing For A Compliment (You Caught A Childe!) // kill me softly // Round is a shape. // „I‘m in a coma, no one can tell me otherwise“ // Game of Survival, War of Hearts // The legend of going to bed at a reasonable hour // T'was As Amusing As The Light of A Garbage Fire // "DID YOU SEE THIS DUMPSTER FIRE" you laugh, shoving your mobile in my face // Dead Hearts and Doomsday (I can't ditch this fake tea party, send help) // Over the Horizon (Way Back Home) // "I can't be a magical girl!" You, a magical girl, say // 20 STRANGE PHOTOS TAKEN IN USJ // Enemies with benefits comes with tax benefits. // Black haze, blue gleam // ”Heroes should be fashionably late, so why are you early by....TWO HOURS?!" // I left for maybe 5 minutes, why is the kitchen on fire // Beauty and the beast named batkid // Alert! Click on link below to find the missing Batman // what they don't tell you // Twink(le) twink(le) little Pringle

more titles will be linked...

ASTRANNE 2022