#gremlin from the kremlin

[iheartginachamber]

who here wouldnt love this cute lil gremlin from the kremlin?

fanart by @freddyjoneztv

[thinkbolt]

Russian Rhapsody (WB, 1944) dir. Bob Clampett

the ultimate anti-H1tler WW2 propaganda film from the Looney Tunes gang, Bob Clampett's opus, when Stalin was actually an ALLY! (Can you believe it??)

[old-memoria]

So since I haven’t been on tumblr for so long, let me inform you that I got my first full time job in a fashion pr agency, almost got kicked out of uni for my political views, but still got my master’s degree and survived a half assed military coup. How are you spending your early 20s?

[gingermaks1232024g]

Рус (Rus)

Русские Гремлины из Кремля. Если бы делали мультфильм в СССР.

Оригинальные Гремлины созданы от Уолтом Диснеем и Рональдом Далем в 1940-х годов

Русская рапсодия мультсериал Merrie Melodies от студии Warner Brothers, 1944 года в США.

Eng (Анг)

Russian Gremlins from the Kremlin. If they were making a cartoon in the USSR.

The original gremlins were created by Walt Disney and Ronald Dahl in the 1940s

Russian rhapsody animated series Merrie Melodies by Warner Brothers studio, 1944 in the USA.

[planesspoken]

"In Defense of the Spotted Lantern Fly: A Conversation"

How can dandylions be a weed, if they make dandylion wine, it could be a taproot somewhere.

I've heard the same thing about crabgrass, the ears are like antennas, why am I yanking this out of the ground?

All I'm saying is what if the spotted lantern fly is like the most exotic rare insect in another world.

Yeah, well my house is covered with them.

Spot something, light up, fly.

Not everything is a wordle.

They say they're from China, but I think it was the gremlin.

It's pronounced Kremlin.

This isn't how people talk.

This is a blog post.

What if they got sent down here all at once, top down got everyone riled up and then there are none on the other side of this.

[feralgodmothers]

https://www.tumblr.com/feralgodmothers/755304384685080576

Classic Tom & Jerry and classic looney tunes spring to mind. Especially mammy two shoes and the looney tunes war cartoons (Japanese ducks and gremlins from the Kremlin). It may be awkward and uncomfortable to watch. But as Whoopi Goldberg says in the looney tunes golden collection. Pretending they didn’t exist isn’t going to do us any favours in the long run.

I agree wholeheartedly. And truthfully - I don’t think the Tom and Jerry ones were that bad (at least from what I remember… it’s been a while though). I watched a YouTube vid analyzing this very thing a while back, and yeah… I think the fear of our history is reaching unhealthy levels. Complete denial is not the road to take.

Another potential example that’s been bugging me for a while is: Song of the South. Now, I haven’t seen it - so I don’t know exactly what it is that earns it it’s ‘racist’ label - but I do know that the actor who played Uncle Remus won an Oscar. So along with the whole censorship issue, I’m also concerned that, by trying to sweep this movie under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist - we’re also hiding this black actor’s achievement.

I know this is a very sensitive topic, and I don’t have the most deft way of talking about it, but… overall, I feel like it’s possible to be too afraid of something - even something important like this. I think there should be room allowed for a clunky attempt to talk about these things, because it’s so much better to have an open communication (free of nitpicking semantics) than to go back to yesteryear’s mentality of ‘Shhh, we don’t talk about things that make us the slightest bit uncomfortable.’

[dwestfieldblog]

THE EVIL ANGELICALS

So, who’s been supplying the missiles to Palestine? They can’t all be home made…who funds the fundamentals? Iran and Syria with some Arbian cash…supported with a smile by Russia with a view not only for destabilisation but to focus attention away from its invasion of Ukraine. America and any allies Israel has left will need to be concentrating a vast amount of diplomatic energy, special forces and weaponry into avoiding a serious war in the alleged ‘holy’ lands. Slovakia, Poland and Hungary have steadily been becoming more reticent over support for Zelensky as the Kremlin works hard to undermine. Seeds all over Europe germinating to rise in grim blooms of far-right groups. Black humour dark as oil to see nationalists being manipulated so easily into serving their actual enemies. As always, follow the money.

Not isolated to Europe either…Brexit and Trump were strongly financed and encouraged as the collective dumbasses in the UK and the US wilfully sucked up the disinformation in the name of (don’t laugh) patriotism. Whipped up to distraction like moralising masochists over the ‘liberal woke’, transgender issues…with the tantalising promise of taking back their countries and making them wonderfully utopian by voting for greedy, venal power-hungry politicians paid by lobbyists, oligarchs and others connected with Moscow and Beijing.

To the point where their governments were and still are, going against the advice of their own scientists, diplomats and information services.  Yeah sure, beware of deep state reptilians, covid vaccines activated by the 5g masts controlled by the Illuminati and the sneaky old Hebrews blah blah yada yada.

Dumbing down all the way has been firmly on the national curricula for quite a few decades and it all seems to be coming to a head where the West is ripe for take over. And we deserve it. Just a shame it has to be by the East rather than angelic aliens crossing dimensions of light. But that’s how it goes these days.

Bro down! Kim and Putin bestial buddies for life (and more likely Death). Looking like two cliched James Bond villains with guided tours of missile bases, nuclear bombers… weapons for the slaphead and technology for the fat Wrong Un. Military masturbation for the chuckle brothers in a substitute boner festival, because 19 months of using prisoners and pensioners as cannon fodder plus grinding losses have left the Kremlin Gremlin short of bullets. Charming to see such a pudgy North Korean greaseball whose people allegedly eat donkeys and grass while he gorges. (Not much future hope in his pale anorexic sister either.) Putin mentioned that Kim is ‘trying to develop space’. Well, he certainly takes up a lot of it. Love the way his terrified sycophants have to scribble down his golden words in notebooks to catch every fetid drop of wisdom. Perhaps he just has a very short-term memory.

Songun…is the North Korean policy of all tax money going to the military first… this means Dough Boy has plenty of stockpiles to share, as his direly undernourished population can always tighten their belts and starve harder. With regard to their chummy brotherhood, Kim said ‘I hope we will always be together in the fight against imperialism’. Hmm. Part of the definition of the word imperialism is ‘a policy of extending a country’s power and influence through use of military force.’

So, irony not at home in Wrong Un’s head. The workers really control the means of production over there, eh? All power in the hands of a few evil rich, (just the same as in imperialist capitalist democracies), not much actual communism. But then, there has never been much of that, just revolutions turning in cycles, as they do.

Russian schools are now teaching young children weapon skills…so as to be ready immediately to fight imaginary Nazis when they are called up at 16. And Russia wants to rejoin the United Nations Human Rights Council…as human rights is obviously an issue about Putin cares deeply.

‘The fact that we recognise the verbal level as internal-subjective and mistake the visual-tactile level for external-objective is the main cause of our frequent confusions, mistakes, bad judgements and repeated or dogmatic ‘wrong ideas’. Well said Robert. Give that man some Jameson and a joint of good weed,

Every person, sooner or later will experience a personal loss. A tragedy. Some can overcome and let go. Most of us will spend the rest of our lives carrying memories which cause us to drop into a spiralling void whenever we recall unbidden. Banishing rituals need to be performed within. It explains a great deal about the world, the mental burden of anguish we all shoulder. Perhaps when broken in pieces, we can better flow with the river. I have spent months now, over sensitised, looking to become functionally numb. And winter is coming.

Hibernate in a cave. Too much part of the story in reporting the facts, too emotionally unevolved, I couldn’t keep a professional distance, so I kept an amateur closeness. Too male, too English, in spite of everything I thought I’d learned. I was going to call this blog Empathy for the Devil but found there is a book with this name about helping you ‘Overcome Drug and Alcohol Problems’. Lol, as they say. My only problems in connection with these substances comes when I don’t have any immediately close to hand. Lol; eat her. Anyway, the devil never existed any more than did ‘God’. and ‘all energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet.’ HST.

(‘The resultant of all these repressions acting convexly from outside is experienced concavely from inside as the defined self; it has been defined by others.’)

Meanwhile, back in the home of the grave…with their oath keepers, proud boys and evil angelicals. Trump must not win. Should he do so, his first acts will be total revenge against all those hundreds he perceives as being enemies. He will seek to dismantle and rearrange the CIA and the FBI, the senate and the law courts. Followed by deals with Putin which will allow Ukraine to fall by withdrawing all American financial support from NATO in the name of peace.

Vlad will smile and talk of their great partnership while continuing to deal happily with China to further undermine the EU and the USA. Trump will meet with Kim again for another pointless red button dick measuring contest and also cement Netanyahu’s crushing of Palestine. (This paragraph was written in September.) Causing the Arab world (other than smiling Bin Salman who recognises pure greed and lust of power) to attack and attack and attack.

This will allow the non-Muslim world to rant about fundamentalism, share a created common enemy, start further wars to benefit the arms and oil industries, drive up prices, spread deepening global fear and causing Trump to do what any despot always does…i.e. change the laws to increase his terms in office and special powers. The massed ranks of evangelicals and ‘true patriots ‘will swell into Star Wars stormtrooper proportions in righteous fervent glee that their emperor messiah has come at last and America is finally great. Sorry, great again. Trump is a terrorist. There, it’s in writing.

At that tipping point, Putin and China will either allow the USA to fall apart under the massive weight of its colossal bullshit while trying to micromanage it not become a black hole…or by that time will have the technology to neuter America’s weapons technology from space. And the East will rule the world with an evil heart even worse than the West.

Hope I haven’t missed any negative bits. There is always the beautiful ‘random’ factor of chance. And Trump’s life is finite. Just continues to seem weird that in such a big and democratic country, the best candidates they can excrete upwards are an ancient man and a truly hateful orange scumbag. And the others. Sheesh.

Now the British (well, half German) Queen is dead, not sure Trump gives a toss about the plague ship UK and we can continue our downward spiral as America’s 51st state. Unsure who outside of Britain would give a toss if we were annihilated with clean fission weapons…other than the oligarchs who have well-appointed properties here. Irradiated real estate is hard to sell.

The old science fiction idea of the rich paying for tickets out of here to survive in space colonies or travel cryogenically frozen to a distant planet is also becoming ever more plausible. Egos unable to comprehend flesh being finite will demand their brilliant lives survive this burning, flooding, earthquaking world. Funny, as the majority of such types also refuse to believe in global warming, due to being stockholders in companies which vomit pollution.

Of course, the self-chosen ones will need a few hundred self-replicating proletariat slaves for manual labour. And we are back to Sumerian times. Anthropomorphic polytheism many gods in human form. Modern Moses the Egyptian comes down the mountain with a couple of Apple tablets. ARF.

Thirteen years of Tory misrule, I’m not a socialist but… Green Rishi ‘Long Term Decisions for a Brighter Future’ Sunak, backtracking and U turning on every single save-the-planet idea they had (due to the insurrection against ULEZ cameras because a handful of votes might be in it) is truly disgusting. The Conservatives, preserving the dysfunctional status quo, not quite as net zero as they might have led suckers to believe. Fossil fuels for fossilised hearts.

And Home Secretary Suella, a second-generation immigrant pulling up the drawbridge against an ‘invasion’ of the wrong sort of aliens, reminded me of an interview with a Pakistani gentleman over twenty years ago. He had come over in the seventies and opened up a newsagent and upon being asked what he thought the worst problems were in Britain, he immediately said ‘There are too many foreigners coming over here’. I felt the same way in Prague, far too many Brits and Yanks wanting to be musicians and teachers, go home scumbags. One likes to imagine one is individual and important compared to amateurs. Arf#2.

During the day, I write, do housecleaning, gardening and read books in silence. In the evenings, I switch off the machine with whisky and sound. Watch a good film or some comedy. Open and raw, peaceful as Zen then numb and enclosed but in a good mood to go to bed and enjoy my dreaming. 23 (wouldn’t you know it?) bits of writing have suddenly appeared within the last 5 weeks. Tiptoe the line between fine tuning and overthinking And it is finally time after five years, to take out my guitar…

HAPPY SAMHAIN/HALLOWEEN TO YOU, with Love

[jacensolodjo]

I know it’s totally not the same thing, but the USSR also pretended disease didn’t exist so that they could keep pretending they really do care about their workers, but anyone who claims illness is wrong and a traitor and clearly in cahoots with the West to destroy the glorious Soviet Union. (see my other post about how missing work for ANY reason 3 times could get you sent to gulag and forget doctors notes cause doctors are BAD)

If you refuse to work, you refuse to be a proper comrade. And we just can’t have that. 

And it’s important people remember that P*tin himself was also touting the ‘it’s a hoax’ shit for a long time. Don’t let that be forgotten. Don’t let him pretend he knew better. Don’t let him pretend he was totally better than the Westerners. Don’t fucking let him lie and lie and lie and continue his KGB ways. 

(also hundreds of kids did not have to die at the hands of Chikatilo but that’s ANOTHER post about the USSR pretending it was different and bad shit (that they din’t cause) didn’t exist, it only existed in the ‘decadent West’)

[howardhawkshollywoodannex]

Russian Rhapsody premiered May 20, 1944, and was directed by Bob Clampett. The original title was Gremlins from the Kremlin. The gremlins are caricatures of directors Bob Clampett and Friz Freleng, animators Michael Sasanoff and Henry Binder, and producer Leon Schlesinger.

[iconuk01]

Randomly recalling the cheerful lunacy which was 1987's "Directory to a Nonexistent Universe"

A one shot from ICG comics

Where else would you find profiles on the likes of the Kremlin Gremlin, Osborn the Unicorn and Grow-Arm-Hair-Lad!

[thelongestway]

ah ok no question resolved. in English, "gremlin" as a term for tech problems is early 20th century, and the 1940s give us "gremlin from the kremlin", so yeah - still same apparent direction of origin (West->Eastern Europe), but the reference is so much older my original surprise is moot

i was thrown off by Ivanova's "we Russian pilots", but that's most likely inspired by the 1940s cartoon

ok fucking wait

"gremlins" WAS (and is? more popular with the older crowd) an actual Ru term for tech problems.

i do not fucking believe the B5 writers could've known that.

the earliest i encountered it was maybe... 6 years after? can't remember that well.

is it fucking possible that b5 was the origin of the descriptor people applied to my tech problems all the time (I was one of those people who learned to fix tech because mine always broke).

what the fuck b5

what the fuck

[masqueman]

Gremlin (not from the Kremlin). 😬 #masqueman #watchyouseek #instawatch #watchgeek #watchesofinstagram #watchaddict #watchmania #watchfam #wornandwound #twobrokewatchsnobs #convoychrono @redbaratlanta @atlantawatchcollective @atlantawatchclub #atlantawatchfamthis #dailywristshot #watchcommunity #watch #watches #realwristshots #wristcheck #horology #watchnerd #timepeice #dailywatch #watchoftheday #atlantawatchgents (at Tucker, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTYk1mLrnfZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mytrashpoems]

My two-cent musings

On the current political Foolishness:

The parade of masses lacking a back bone

To beat back the anti-blackness;

And to Ted Cruz - the king gremlin

flown in from the kremlin.

On lips birthed by salt-rim-licking

The crusted taint of satans thigh beating

meat - Putin, Czar of Hell

And the 77 fleet - mongrels defenders of fear

Under talons dry dusted to smithereens;

A free world rises up to unseat and defeat:

A civilization hell-bent. On

e; we’re empty, replete

Of wisdom natural resources

and the bill to compete? Printed; e-receipt:

People please - like seriously,

Choose to breathe and save

The trees. we’re plunderers free-fucking

The Lorax crushed beneath our feet;

All for nothing no what? that coveted seat?

Buried in dreams of student loan relief.

We prayed sins forgiven?; I was lied to, taxed my

knees’re screaming and I’m through listening

To the very system that pillages the bodies of women

and makes the decision to do

Anything taking all my faith with em’

We’re blound by a sinister white wizard.

I digress and introduce: the king fool

Crueler than lava burns; unforgivable

as diarrhea stew left brewing

for hours in a hot Manhattan zoo:

Ted Cruz - peep his fumes:

Our nations worst kept ruse;

Other than trxmp and those 43 other republican

fools who chose to light this fuse;

A domestic terrorist and perpetrator of

crimes on countless lives, too (yes, Ted Cruz,

that maniacal rube); He flew to Cancun,

bumbling ghoul, to sneer as sunsets bloom.

Like an asshole who can’t hold in his shit, Ted is full-

moon over this never-ending blue

Winter of countless Texans faces freezing,

lungs weakened by a nations green fixation.

Exhume us from this addiction

to avarice and sin; smoked over burning migrant

families and children; the blood of innocents thicken

Ted’s ruby blood rue - his secret ingredient!

This is a sick twisted nightmarish vision

a democracy run by horror movie villains

stop hitting the snooze wake up please listen

Actually, fuck Freddy - We’re in Ted’s prison

Behind lies where white men play victims.

We need to stop dying and being fuel

For this trxmped up tool; we must refuse!

Rise up and glisten under a sun brand new.

This is the resistance, horn heaving

My missive! we do it for the children

I’m waiting to hear from you - battle cry!;

My assistance, I, war-wearying, tag you in:

Dap; swag in the beat

Swag in the beat; Dap swag

In the beat; swag in the

Beat; dap swag in the beat;

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

What a desperate little goblin you are. Are you ace because no one can stand you? Dude. I would die to get away from you. Imma go hang out with your pops and talk about my big fat love for Lena. We’ll prob exchange our favorite pics of her and stuff. 🤷🏾‍♀️ 😭😭😭😭 Enjoy your solitude pathetic 💩bag!

First of all, it’s called kremlin aka Russian gremlin, you idiot.

Secondly, yes, people choose sexualities basing on their experiences with society, because this is how it happens. On the other hand it would explain Lena stans thirsting for her.

You have my blessing, I guess.

As long as you don’t know Polish you will have a probelm. But I guess my dad can make pierogi for you.

If Lena is a bug (what suits her, if you think about it), because my dad is an entomologist. He has a lot of bugs in his collection. Dead. Impaled. Etc. He can show you. With your vivid imagination you will have no problems with putting Lena’s face on some  Geotrupes stercorarius.

No solitude for me, unfortunately, because my fam came for vacations. But thanks, can’t wait for September and finally being alone.

Anyway, you tried so 3/10

[savedfromsalvation]

FROGGY THE GREMLIN

Plunk your Magic Twanger,Froggy!

TRUMPY FROM THE KREMLIN

Junk your Sleazy Treason, Foggy

[dwestfieldblog]

CTHONIC ATTACK

Well, Yevgeny sleeps with the Mr Evil/Uncle Fester angels now eh? (Nice that his boys will have a safe harbour in Belorussia, delicate mercenaries need a place in which to recuperate after killing women, children, noncombatants and torturing fictitious enemies.) His people released a statement saying the crash with one wing was caused by ‘traitors of Russia’. (Can’t blame the FSB for doing what they are told, and jolly decent of them to time the explosion over some fields.) The Wagner troll factory, as ordered by the Kremlin Gremlin have already pumped out faecal nuggets that the West planted the bomb/s.

Funny just how many leaders (political or religious) of countries these days are endlessly betraying their people in the name of impure self-interest and calling it patriotism. One more time yet once again… ‘Patriotism is the last rock to which a scoundrel clings’. Comrade Trump et al. Name the shameless in your heads, East and West. Look into their eyes and see their corrupted hearts, withdraw all your energy from them and feed your lifeforce.

The ugly mug shot of the orange Reptilian one… sure he wanted to look defiant but ended up looking like a smacked and sullen child denied his wish. (The moment when an adult knows one smack won’t cut the mustard and the kid will need far more.) And usually, the cops tell you to stand straight, how was such glowering beneath a dyed fringe allowed? The petulant ex-president is using the photo as a rallying (baby man-child) cry for extra funding from morons, outside forces and traitors…as a poster, it aint exactly Che Guevara eh? And yet, so far, has got 1.7million dollars. FFS. Horrific to read how many still support his nomination, some serious mental disease over there. (Says Dave in England). Lock him and his cohorts up or get them all on a plane to St Petersburg.

‘The possibility that empathy resides in parts of the brain so ancient that we share them with rats should give pause to anyone comparing politicians with those poor, underestimated creatures’. Frans de Waal. Pause or paws?

X marks the pus-filled spot…Nice endorsement for Elon from the Talibananna’s ‘Thought Leader’ Anas Haqqani who likes Twitter because of ‘the freedom of speech’. Erm…God is great isn’t he? Jesus saves but Shiva destroys. Boys…

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, established in 1947…shows comedians mainly - the last intelligent group (other than most scientists perhaps) left speaking truth to power. However, the blind - to - irony for using the title ‘Woke’ sleepwalkers honk on about diversity and inclusivity and then refuse a platform for any who disagree with them…So, diverse and inclusive up to a point.  Graham Linehan, an excellent writer of comedy was banned from performing, among others, for calling it as it is (or very much seems to be) vis a vis the gender debate.

Left and Right pointing fingers and accusing the other side of cancelling culture when both are equally guilty of closing down free speech from any with which they disagree. That said, I will hereby admit, without shame that I also, on insanely rare occasions, have been less than innocent of the Great British double standards. E.g., taking part in the early nineties in my second demonstration, to stop Holocaust denying ‘historian’ David Irving from giving a speech. In spite of my beliefs, I would try and close him down again. When someone’s twisted rhetoric encourages a deranged and dangerous mob, they need to be shut off and right out. Hello Donald, Putin’s useful idiot.

But I digress…Back to the modern nightmare of abused language.

‘People who identify as men can, and do become pregnant and give birth, if they possess a uterus and ovaries’ Medical News Today. That’s a BIG ‘if’.

‘Having a period is not a feminine thing, and people of all genders menstruate, including non-binary people, agender people and even plenty of men! Menstruation doesn’t change anything about your body, it’s just a thing that some bodies do.’ Transhub.org. Read this a couple of times, let it all sink in. They also talk about a ‘front hole’, as presumably those members of homo ‘sapiens’ with an XX chromosome reading this blurb do not know the difficult word vagina. And in first place comes…

‘My body is not female. My menstruation is not female. It just is. My body just is.’ Wiley Reading’s Everyday Feminism. This smacks a little of denial rather than Zen acceptance. Someday, coming soon to a western country near you, the words ‘HuMAN’ and MENstruation will become Huperson and Personstruation… Is this an evolution?

Seems like another twisted circular path of time wasting while the world gratefully allows us to die en masse. However, of course I think people should certainly be allowed to choose their own sex if they are sure they have the wrong body. Just don’t start kids on hormone treatment and gender brainwashing so early. (Although the latter is always started in normal (HA) families with pink dollies, prams and action men and guns.) Many children play dress up and at puberty are confused as feelings shift around, so just let them until a definite knowledge has come. I remain suspicious of any who eagerly bid the mentally weak (either from lack of life experience or poor education) to come join their happy crowd and be just like them. As someone would say, ‘Sorry, not sorry’. The force goes into the flow…

Meanwhile, naughty muons are misbehaving (according to outdated theories in sub atomic physics) and there may very well be a fifth force of nature. (Mystics and neuronauts have spoken about this with shinning eyes for centuries but it takes a little longer for provable science to catch up.) That’s what happens when you accelerate particles at approximately 1000 times the speed of light and things wobble faster than current (ha) laws say they should. Watch this ‘g minus two (g-2)’ experimental space for further quantum details. Superconductors should be being used for limitless and clean energy. Why aren’t they?

Doctor and consultant strikes...Christ, has golf club membership gone up so much?  A good income in 2023 is recorded as being 50 thousand pounds…but a basic starter for a consultant is 93 up to 134 thousand. One yacht is never enough. A global Pharmageddon where pills are heavily prescribed by doctors mostly to keep their quotas and freebies from the companies up, rather than being essential to the patient. In 2016 an investigation asserted that drug companies hand over 40 million pounds in the UK alone to healthcare professionals. Many of these pills cause side effects which are then treated by further pills…which cause side effects. Nice money if you can get it and the guinea pig pharmers and dodgy doctors certainly can. Always worth checking the ABPI database to see who is friendly with whom. So why not stop being a hypochondriac and become more paranoid instead…there are pills for that.

Fast scan of random headlines…’Species of ancient viruses resurfacing as ice caps melt…Time travelling pathogens’. ‘New Covid strain rising’…Enough.

Some family and human stuff now…my grandad used to tell granny ‘Nectar and ambrosia’ after every meal and mean it. Vanilla, lavender, peaches and cloves are the world’s favourite smells. I like warm skin with drop of fresh sweat. I love fireworks, bubbles blown and floating in the air, mown grass, dug earth, honest smiles, females and friends. But music over everything else, forever.

My ancestors for a few hundred years were all teachers, priests and medical staff, so now I am past middle aged, this black sheep is really starting to feel like the weakest link on both sides, let alone being last of our lines. Crippling sadness that I never played guitar for mum. Still finding messages written by her for me all over the house. A packet of titanium scissors in the kitchen saying ‘Guaranteed to last for 25 years’ Mum wrote next to it ‘Over to you David’.

Crushed by guilt, heart feels like a dry prune and I hardly breathe unless I need to cough. No, I’m not second hand, but pre loved and fit for the hospice charity shop. That is as far as my light entertainment/black humour goes these days.

Opportunities to do more, more of the right thing, to be gentler, more understanding, more patient. Lost, and then forever too late. Permanent. Thought I could repair and ease her into balance, to be strong enough for the operation or the end. Failed in the most important work of my life, not possible to cry enough when the memories fall and time does not heal guilt.

Only two could forgive me, one is gone and I cannot. Utterly undeserving to be redeemed. No, I don’t want to join a group on Zoom and talk about it, talking makes the mind relive and recreate the same stress chemicals on a poisoning loop. Writing and printing it out on a page has more use for me. But no forgiveness. Arguing for my own limitations again.

As a cheery sidenote, although most men (with guns who wish to kill themselves) shoot themselves in the head, women tend to shoot themselves in the heart. Fascinating. Ask your doctor if suicide is good for you, a problem focused strategy. I don’t have a gun anymore but I am drinking every night as I have been almost every night for the last 25 years. Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune. Here’s to me and good health, eh? Cheers…

Still sitting in the morning in what a conceited auctioneer described as a late Georgian chair to write at a turn of the century polished mahogany card table. The armchair general and couch potato pundit, hunched over the keyboard, heavy with the albatross of ego, winging it all my life. Wonderful, the mixed metaphor in the labyrinth again. Many years ago, I wrote a song called You Get What You Are. This seems scarier day by day as the layers peel away.

‘Nowadays the LSD trippers know what the magicians, the pagans and the yogis always knew: the personality is the only part of us that does not survive death.’ The mask does not continue, it cannot. Nowhere to hide in the Light.

‘The nervous system is the instrument which reads all other instruments’. ‘All perceptions are neither the observer nor the observed; they are the representations of the relation between them’. We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.’ Wilson, Crowley and Nin.

And the result of subtracting the universe from itself is… (and here/now/ nowhere, the presenter opens the envelope to wild applause as everything vanishes and reappears in total silence.) I am trying with moderate but inevitable success to subtract my Self from the universe. Follow the Love…