#greg not being there wouldn’t be inconsequential to tom

[gregmarriage]

my brother had the audacity to say if greg left succession, it would be inconsequential to the show and i felt the spirit of tom wambgans possess me and i was like “what are you even talking about?!”

[your-ace-cousin-clover]

Tomgreg Fics That Will Induce Catharsis*

*(not guaranteed, but these are so fucking good!)

[heed the trigger warnings]

Beaks Bloody [M]

Greg is, well — not great, seeing as though he’s pretty sure that he, you know, just murdered his great-uncle Logan at the guy’s own birthday party. Benoit Blanc is on the case.

In Loving Memory [M]

Siobhan falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. Her spirit never leaves the house.

Suddenly, Flames Everywhere [T] 

He’s Tom Wambsgans, from St. Paul, Minnesota. Broad-shouldered, sharply-dressed, rising miles and miles above his station. That’s who he is. It doesn’t matter who he began as. He's not the same Tom anymore.

From the series: The Sad Tom Wambsgans Cinematic Universe

Invidious [T] 

Bernard smiles wider, a particular sort of sweet edge to it while he offers the cup – is that lipgloss? “I also got you a latte –”

Greg reaches out and blocks the path of the cup, then blinks at his own hand in some shock. “Uh... Oat milk.”

Bernard blinks and looks to Greg, mouth pinching, “Sorry, Mr Hirsch? I didn’t – ?”

“Tom drinks oat milk.”

AITA for accusing my father of multiple crimes on his own news station? [T]

Reddit's view of Kendall Roy over the years.

Sonny Liston Rubbed Some Tiger Balm Into His Glove (Some Things You Do For Money And Some You Do For Love, Love, Love) [G]

“Let me get this straight.” Tom breathed, and he was so close that Greg could feel it tickle his chin. “You ... killed Roman?”

Hangdog Eyes [E] 

[Image description: TMZ webpage, headline reads - Succession Split! Insiders say more than artistic differences! Underneath is an old photograph of Kendall and Stewy at a party, with a jagged tear between them as if the photograph has been ripped.] [Image description: Tweet from @gregjhirsch - do you need to wear sunscreen in Florida in winter? Asking for a friend]

Through The Glass Walls Of The Throne Room [T] 

Reaching the top of the mountain affords Greg a privileged perspective. Next to all these riches, the loss of something as small as a soul seems inconsequential.

Blue Light [E] 

When Roman makes an off-hand joke about Tom being in love with Greg over dinner, the fallout changes everything.

Daddy’s Little Deadstick Dynasty [T]

The Roy family jet never makes it to São Paulo.

Beyond The Hairpin Turn [E]

You reach across the boardroom table and cover his beautiful hand with your own. Pure instinct. His hand twitches, and he gives a little gasp. Oh, delightful. How you’d love to make this boy gasp in other ways, in other places…

“You have such soft hands,” you whisper.

“Very touching,” comes the voice from the speaker. “But this isn’t speed dating, this is work orientation.

Fair is Foul and Foul Is Fair [M]

Tom finds several things out about Greg's new relationship.

I Needed You There, But I Didn't Know [NR]

When he was younger, he used to do this thing where he’d have one-sided conversations with his father in his head. Before he’d go to sleep, he’d update him on what he’d missed, casually, as if it’d been minutes since they last talked instead of years. If he were religious, he could’ve compared it to praying.

Final Greg [G]

If Waystar Royco was a horror movie, then, well, Greg knows he wouldn’t be the final girl. But he thinks it would be pretty subversive if he was.

The Many Fantasizations and Nightmares of Tom Wambsgans and Greg Hirsch [E]

What if, on the night of Tom's wedding, things had played out differently?

Sunday Massacre [E]

The Gang Faces Eternal Damnation.

From the series: I'm Supposed To Die Tonight

[wittypenguin]

Mystery Men (1999)

After watching over a decade of Marvel films, then watching the ‘Eastrail 177 Trilogy’ of films (which I’ll write a concluding review for in a few days), something that dealt with super heroes in a mocking but loving way seemed right up my alley! It even begins with a silly scene in an old age home being attacked by silly villains! Then… Wow. This is less silly and more… yeah, I dunno…

The cast is fantastic, with Greg Kinnear being perfect as Captain Amazing. It even has the look of an insane Batman film. Which makes sense, because a number of the sets used in the film are the same sets used in Batman Forever.

“SFX by Ghostbusters II” was the note I made at one point, and given that the main firm responsible seems to have been Rhythm & Hues, I wasn’t far off. I can’t quite tell if they were involved in the Ghostbusters sequel, but I wouldn’t be surprised, as the colour palette and stylistic approach is fairly similar, especially with the massive deus ex machina ending which… is… okay, I guess…? Really, it’s too little too late by that point.

There are some gags scattered throughout which are okay — the purpose of “A Fifth of Beethoven” hath finally been revealed as fight choreography music, The Shoveler’s physical business, Invisible Boy’s actual use of his power which saves the day (which I distinctly remembered from the trailers), the Herkimer Battle Jitney, the mocking of the Superman trope of his ‘disguise’ being his glasses — but it’s not enough to hang a movie on. There must be more to the original comic books’ material, but there’s no ‘there’ here in this film.

William H. Macy [left] as ‘Shoveler,’ Ben Stiller [centre, rear] as ‘Furious,’ and Hank Azaria [right] as ‘Blue Raja’

Invisible Boy’s introduction is over written. It’s got a good premise, and even the two lead-up scenes are solid (although the one in the diner could have been a bit tighter), but the scene where he explains his the limitations of his power spirals at least twice before landing. It’s a shame.

It’s really uneven. Given the comedic talent on hand — JANNINE GAROFALO, Hank Azaria, Ben Stiller, Geoffrey Rush, Tom Waits, William H Macy — it’s surprising how some of this is so… well, ‘infantile’ seems too dismissive, but it’s getting pretty close. When you have a ‘Super Hero’ who can pass wind on demand, you expect a certain puerility, sure, but some of the ‘gags’ are delivered with a 20-pound sledgehammer when all you need is a tack hammer. Apparently the shooting experience was fraught with strife, with various people trying to change the style of the comedy, and the director even declared at one point that they would never direct a feature again, as it was far too much effort and not enough satisfaction.

Eddie Izzard as “Tony P”

Mr Macy’s character gets nearly all of the best lines, for my taste, and he delivers them perfectly. Somehow his ‘Everyman’ face is perfect for someone as seemingly inconsequential as a hero wielding a shovel, yet still able to stirring statements which inspire his fellow crime fighters. My goodness, his career of medium-sized characters was something to which I very much aspired (when I still had hopes and dreams), and this could have been a fantastic demonstration of his ability to anchor an ensemble… had the writing been better.

There’s a couple of people woefully under-utilized, Lena Olin and Eddie Izzard in particular. Ms Olin’s character has a grand total of two lines in the entire film, but appears in more than a handful of scenes. Lord knows she’s capable of far more. Mr Izzard is similarly hobbled in speech, and seems reduced to doing physical comedy as ‘Henchman #2.’ He’s extremely good at the former, far more talented than the requirements of the latter, and neither task is seen enough in the story. Lordy.

I could also have used more of the auditioning super heroes, especially if their ‘super abilities’ were outlined. The names of some in the credits are quite promising. Additionally, more of the ‘Super Hero Boot Camp’ sequence with Wes Studi as ‘Sphinx’ would have been good, especially if the writing had developed past the gag based on the trope of ‘inscrutable Oriental aphorisms,’ which was really beaten to death before finally being moved past.

There’s a whole plot thread of romantic interest for Mr Stiller’s character which could have been taken out but for the old line about “I love you for you, not for your powers” thing which nearly worked. That same lesson was bing learned with Mr Macy’s character, however, and his marriage being saved by his saving the world has a better feeling of accomplishment than the other set-up, however. Certainly Mr Stiller’s character’s ‘ability’ of being furious might have been better developed as being, at best, ineffective, as it seemed oddly glossed over, given the rest of the gags being pounded into the ground. There are many things being given too much emphasis and too many being under-explored, one wonders if there was any consideration given to a ‘middle ground approach?’

Ben Stiller is quite angry… one might almost say he’s… ‘Furious’

There are also a couple of of cameos — including the director Michael Bay as a frat boy — which really serve no purpose beyond causing people to yell “WHO is in this…‽” which may have been the idea, as there’s little else to say for them. Merely because one can do something in a film doesn’t mean that one should do that particular thing.

Overall, it’s a sad thing, given the people involved. At one point, Danny Divito was considering directing and starring in the William H Macy role, but backed out of both positions when he realized the scope of the project. It’s possible he could have made things work, but not if he was acting as well; there’s too much heavy lifting to change what I saw into something worthwhile.

★★☆☆☆