#gravitylukasmatsson

[azzie89]

Gravity-Epilogue

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Epilogue

Warnings: smut (18+)

Two Years Later

Lukas could be described as moody ever since you left. Tom faced the brunt of it. He did let the new CEO keep Greg as his assistant but he gave strict orders that Greg was to never be within his eyesight. He still blamed the snitch and never wanted to see him. But Lukas was never in a good mood. He was mostly quiet and morose.

He wasn't in New York often, though. He hated being there; he hated being reminded of you. He spent most days on his phone just flipping through the few pictures he had of you.

He did try to move on from a couple of times. He went on a few dates with some supermodels. They all ended after the first date. They would talk but then his thoughts would wonder. He'd end up on his phone, staring at pictures of you, while they talked incessantly. He never called them back after that.

Now there was one. Tom, without him knowing, had set him up. He made Greg find a girl that looked exactly like Ella. Then he set them up to bump into each other at a club. Lukas was very interested at first. But then the girl smiled for the first time and he lost all of it. It wasn't your smile.

So dates ended pretty quickly within the first six months. Sex was a completely different issue. He'd pick up random women that fit his standards but he quickly learned that he had a problem. Even with them bare in front of them, he could not get it up.

He'd have to look at all those dirty pictures you sent him just to get hard. He thought that fixed it. But he'd go soft immediately as soon as he entered them. He had to resort to jerking himself off to those dirty pictures and sex was off the table.

So he was a very frustrated man. He was frustrated with you, with himself, with the whole fucking world. He was just frustrated and he missed you. His chest ached just thinking about you.

And he couldn't sleep anymore. He could barely sleep before you. Now without you, he was getting at most two hours of sleep. So he was tired and frustrated. He was completely miserable and every day where he didn't get to see you felt like hell.

And he was true to what you wanted. He didn't call or text. He didn't send someone to spy on you. He left you alone. The only thing he ever allowed himself to do was ask Tom once a month if you were still with your uncle. The answer was always the same.

And life moved on. The days felt like they dragged. Time felt like it moved so impossibly slowly. It felt like the longest two years of his life. But then one day the answer had changed.

He didn't usually attend one of these things: a charity gala. But Tom informed him that you were coming. He was there early, waiting for you to walk through the door.

Tom was slightly freaking out as he commented quietly to Shiv, "She's still coming, right? Because if she doesn't, I am totally fucked."

"She's coming, Tom. There was a dressing wardrobe malfunction but she's coming," Shiv shook her head. "You can calm down."

You coming to the gala was sort of a plan by Tom and Shiv. Shiv invited you and Tom told Lukas that you were coming. They were playing matchmaker with the two of you.

And then you did show up. You were one of the last to show up. He saw you come in from a distance as where he was sitting was far from the door. But as soon as caught sight of you, he stood up. It was just on instinct. A gut reaction.

"See, Lukas, I told you she'd show up," Tom said, smiling. "There was never anything to worry about."

He merely hummed before sitting back down. His eyes were glued to you as you walked in. He noticed you didn't have bangs anymore but instead your hair was parted down one side. And he noticed your dress. Of course he did. You wore the most provocative dress he'd ever seen you wear.

It was a red satin dress with slits on both sides to show off your legs. It was completely backless with a huge plunging neckline that ended just above your belly button. Your breasts were covered by the smallest amount of material and completely on display. Fuck.

You wore it so confidently. You wore it like you were not afraid to flaunt what you had. You did it effortlessly with the most breath-taking smile he'd ever seen on you.

And then you were walking over here and he didn't know what you wanted. He got up and left the table. He only came back when you were settled and someone was speaking at the podium. He sat down and went on his phone.

He wasn't sure if you even noticed him. You didn't seem to have a reaction nor even look his way. That didn't matter; he was just waiting to be alone with you. So when you got up to go to the refreshments table, he followed shortly after you.

He approached you at the table and he just stood there, staring at you. He didn't really know what to say. But then you startled a little when you looked his way and noticed him as you clutched your chest.

"Right. Fuck. Hey," he scratched the side of his head as he started to ramble nervously. "I can say hey to you, right? I can greet you? Or do you not want that? Because I can fucking leave and..."

You placed a calming hand on his torso for a moment before removing it. You barely seemed bothered while he stopped breathing momentarily. Then you smiled a bit in amusement, "Yes, you can greet me."

He was lost staring into your eyes before he blurted out, "Ella, can we talk?"

You exhaled deeply before you spoke, "Tomorrow. For coffee at eight. I'll text you the address. Does that work?"

"Yeah. Yes," he agreed quickly.

"Okay," you smiled. "Tomorrow then."

And you went back to your seat. He stood there for a minute. Then he decided he didn't need to be there any longer. He wouldn't be able to handle staring at you and not talking. So he left and stayed up all fucking night.

"Shiv, he left. He fucking left," Tom whisper-shouted as Ella made her way back. "This is a clusterfuck. He's gonna fucking fire me, Shiv."

"He's not gonna fire you, Tom. How would he check in on Ella if he fired you?"

____

Lukas was there early. He already ordered for you because he knew what you liked unless that had changed. He was tapping his foot the whole time until you walked in the door covered in a light layer of sweat. You had earbuds in but you took them out once you came in.

You smiled once you saw him and walked over to the table. He swallowed as he noted you were only wearing a fucking sports bra with yoga pants. Jesus. He was sure you trying to test his focus.

"Hey," you greeted before you leaned down to kiss his cheek. He stopped breathing again.

Then you noticed the second cup of coffee, a frappe, and he pushed it towards you, "Vanilla, right?"

"Yeah," you smiled before you took the seat across from him. Vanilla had always been your favorite. But specifically a vanilla bean frappe. It was simple but sweet. You still had your sweet tooth.

You sipped on it before he asked, "You run now?"

"Yeah. I like it," you smiled again. "Clears my head."

He noticed you were full of smiles now. You gave them out easily. And you looked fuller somehow like you weren't as skinny. He wondered if you ate more now; you only ever ate such small portions back then like you were afraid to gain weight. But it seemed like you fixed that habit. And your skin just seemed to fucking glow. You seemed to glow.

"And...what else changed?" he questioned, holding himself back from spilling all the words he wanted to say.

"Well, I really like camping. I'm planning a trip next month," you informed. "And I'm off my meds now."

"You are?" he asked softly. "And you're...fine?"

"Yes," you smiled again. "I didn't need them anymore. I've been off of them for a year."

He hummed before he leaned forward to place his arms on the table as he asked quietly, "And did you...forgive me?"

"I think..." you mused. "I think I forgave you, Lukas, the moment I walked out the door."

He swallowed before he blurted out, "Ella, I still fucking love you. There hasn't been a fucking day where I haven't thought of you. Ella, I want you back."

You sighed and leaned back in your chair as you crossed one leg over the other. You were so cool like a fucking iceberg and he could not read you. You looked away for a moment as you bit your lip.

You didn't know how to feel about Lukas. You had talked about him to your therapist a long time ago and you knew you loved him back then. Because of that, you'd always feel affection for him. But you had changed. It didn't stop your mind from thinking about him from time to time. It was usually in random moments and you'd smile as you thought of your memories with him. You'd feel a longing.

"I want to make myself clear: I don't need you anymore," you finally turned your gaze to him.

Your words fucking hurt. He thought you were about to break him all over again. He thought you were about cut off any idea of them being together.

"But...I want to try again," you said before you started to smile. You found that as you said it, you really did want that. "I would like that."

"Okay," he smiled slightly. "And what does that entail?"

"You can take me on a date. Next week. I'll let you pick where and when," you clarified. "But here. In New York."

"Just one date?" he deflated a bit.

"If I like it, I'll let you take me on another," you said before you stood up, grabbing your coffee. "That's how dates work, silly."

"So we're doing things normally now?" he grinned in amusement.

Last time they did everything completely backwards. They started with the most intimate step and worked back. They really had been a mess, hadn't they?

"Yes," you smiled before kissing his cheek. "I'll see you next week."

And you left.

_____

For a month, they went on more than ten dates. Most of them were in New York but some were in Sweden. You only communicated with him during the dates. You were determined to move slowly with him.

Lukas noted how you didn't space out anymore. You were always there, always present. You still rambled, though, and quite adorably. And then there was that smile; you wore it so easily now. It made him happy for you.

Lukas was ever so patient. He never held your hand or put his arm around you. He never tried to kiss you. He didn't want to do anything until you told him you were ready. You could tell he was tense just in the way carried himself like he was afraid to screw it up.

You kept him at arm's length because you were afraid to fall back into the same patterns. You didn't invite him into your apartment nor did you ever enter his house. You weren't ready for something to happen between them that you couldn't turn back from. But you couldn't deny that everything flowed just as it always did between them. And you realized you were still in love with him.

You didn't know quite how to handle it until one night in Sweden. It was a work party thing he had taken you to. It wasn't a date exactly but he had invited you.

You were talking to someone before you glanced over at him. You noticed he was talking to some pretty brunette probably just a bit older than you. You felt a prickling sensation and you realized you were jealous. You realized you wanted him to be yours again.

You wondered why you were even waiting. It was obvious that Lukas was the one for you. He was still the love of your life and you never ever wanted to get over him. You didn't just want to be dating anymore or taking these baby steps. You didn't need to. You wanted him.

And it didn't matter if Lukas was still gravity to you. He was a type of gravity. He was love. The feeling that gave you butterflies and made you smile even more than you already did because you were own gravity now. It didn't mean you couldn't collide with his. And you intended to.

He had excused himself eventually from whoever the woman he was talking to and he had to take a phone call. He took the elevator up to his office on a floor above. You followed slowly and took a separate elevator. When it stopped, you stepped out onto an empty floor.

You walked to his office and leaned against the doorway. He had his back turned as he talked on the phone. It was something about Gojo but you didn't pay attention.

You just admired him for a small moment. You had noted it briefly earlier but he looked really handsome. He was in black business slacks with a black round-neck sweater that was not tucked in. He was like a black hole you wanted to be swallowed by.

When he finished his phone call, you stepped into the room before stopping about five feet in front of him. He turned and his eyes widened a bit before he tucked his hands in his pockets with a small smile, "Hey."

"You didn't have to come up here," he stated.

"I know."

It was silent for a moment as you stared at him. He stared at you. There was an undercurrent of tension between them.

Then you took a deep breath as you spoke, "If you ever hurt me again, I'd walk away from you, Lukas. And you'd never get me back. Even if it's years down the line and we have a kid, I'd still leave you."

"Ella, I wouldn't," he promised. "Not ever fucking again."

You closed the distance between them slowly until you stood right in front of him. You looked at him.

"I love you," you confessed as you stood up on the tips of your toes. You ran your hands up his chest and over his broad shoulders before looping your arms around his neck and bringing him down to your level before you muttered close to his lips. "And I don't want to move slowly anymore..."

Then you kissed him. As your lips molded with his, he literally groaned which made you smile slightly. You felt electric as you kissed him softly and slowly. But you wanted more and so did he.

It quickly turned into hungry, fast kisses. As soon as they finished one kiss, they brought their lips back together for more. Their lips pressed incessantly against each other before his hands gripped your hips tightly. He picked you up without breaking their kiss and carried you over to his desk before setting you down.

Your hands traveled down. You pushed up his sweater to reach for his belt. You stopped kissing him to focus on undoing it.

"Ella..." he questioned, panting.

"I want this."

"Ella, I don't have a fucking condom."

"I'll take Plan B."

You undid his belt before his hands hiked up your dress. You pushed down his pants to reveal his erection. You remembered he was big but you forgot how big he was. You spread your legs for him.

He moved your lace panties to the side before placing his tip against your slit. Then he pushed into you and he groaned as he felt the walls of your pussy close in around his dick. You let out a little gasp as you braced yourself with your palms flat on the desk behind you.

You breathed so heavily as he continued to slide his dick into you. You didn't have sex for two years and just him entering you put you close to your peak. When he was fully inside you, your eyes nearly rolled back. You were so full. Your stomach even bulged from his dick.

And with just one thrust, you fell apart and orgasmed. You moaned his name. Your muscles clenched and your toes curled. Your pussy clenched around his dick and Lukas did not last long, either, because after one more thrust, he came inside of you.

He smacked the desk with his hands as he groaned. You felt his warm seed gush into you. And it seemed to be never-ending. You felt strings upon strings of his cum jet into you like he had been pent up. And your pussy clenched his cock even harder, begging him for more.

He finally softened inside you. He stayed inside as you both panted. Then he slowly pulled out. His cum leaked out of you. He grabbed some tissues off his desk and cleaned you up. You were sleepy now and you did not want to go back to the party.

"Can we leave?" you said as he leaned his forehead against yours after cleaning you up.

"Yeah."

_____

When they got back to his house, you had livened up a bit. Only because you wanted him again. Once they were in the doorway, they stood facing each other and you realized this was the first time you'd stepped inside since you entered society again.

Lukas bit his lip as he stared at you, stared at your body, before he swallowed, "Are you tired? Do you want to lay down or..."

You crossed the distance and pulled him down to you, kissing him. He melted and his arms immediately wrapped around you. Then you pulled away slightly as you traced his lips, "Yes, I am tired, but I want more of this."

And he kissed you again. You let him kiss you for a bit, getting lost in it, as he backed you against the wall. Then you reached around you to unzip your dress. You only unzipped it a little bit before Lukas tugged it down harshly where it stopped halfway around your pelvis, being too tight without unzipping all the way.

But Lukas got what he wanted. Your breasts were now revealed as you weren't wearing a bra. He immediately moved to attach his mouth on one, sucking and licking at the supple breast as his hand played with other. You leaned your head back against the wall, letting out a low moan.

Once he was done, his lips traveled down your stomach as he muttered against your skin, "So fucking perfect."

You smiled as you teased, "And don't you forget it."

He grinned, "You're such an egotistical little minx now, aren't you?"

"Your minx," you bit your lip.

"Yeah?" he smiled as he gazed up at you. You watched as he kept his gaze locked with yours while he licked a stripe ever so slowly over your belly button. You threw your head back and let out a low moan of yes. And it was a long night filled with pleasure.

In the morning, he was spooning you and his fingers ran up and down your hip soothingly. He seemed to choose his words before he asked nervously, "Ella, when you weren't with me, did you ever...have you ever..."

"Have sex with someone else?" you realized what he was trying to ask. "No."

"Really?" he seemed all too excited.

You giggled, "No, Lukas."

You turned your head to look at him, "What if I had said yes?"

"It wouldn't fucking change anything but I don't..I just don't like the idea of someone knowing what you're like, you know, intimately," Lukas explained.

You hummed before you asked curiously, "What about you?"

"I, uh, tried," he admitted. "Yeah."

"Tried? What does that mean?"

He struggled to find words because he didn't like admitting it, "It means that part of me doesn't fucking work when it's not you."

You blinked before you realized, "Oh."

Then you smiled as you teased, "You couldn't get hard? Like at all?"

He rolled his eyes, "No."

You giggled a bit, "What did you do?"

That made him grin a bit as he admitted, "Looked at all those nude photos you sent me."

"You did?" you smiled.

"Yeah," he said before he questioned. "Are you gonna start sending those again?"

You chuckled before you bit your lip, "Maybe."

You did start sending those again. You liked getting him all worked up so that when he saw you again, he practically attacked you with lust. It was fun to you.

And when he attacked you, it was at home in Sweden. After that night, you moved in with him. A week later, he had proposed to you.

You said yes so the two of you were now engaged. Again. You found out when he proposed that he had kept the rings. So you wore the same ones you had picked out two years ago.

You got married to Lukas a month later. All of your siblings showed up. You did not marry him in Sweden nor in New York. You had always loved weddings so you wanted something grand and Lukas kept saying: whatever you want. So you chose the venue and picked the Palace of Versailles in France.

It was a wedding that cost millions but that was nothing to the two of you. You had your own custom made white wedding dress that was slim but had a long train. It had a sweetheart neckline.

You didn't have anyone walk you down the aisle (and up the staircase). Not Connor nor your Uncle Ewan. You didn't need anyone to give you away. You were joining yourself with Lukas.

So within two months of being back, you were married to Lukas. It may have seemed rushed. But you knew you loved him and you didn't need to wait. You didn't want to.

For the next month, the two of you were absolutely insatiable with each other. You would see the gold ring on his finger and you'd want him. Or the making out would turn all frenzied. All you knew was that month was wild. It was a like really long honeymoon. You were sure you had tried every position and fucked him on every single surface.

But just because you were married didn't mean you were having his kids yet. You wanted to wait and enjoy some of your married life before you started having babies. So that's what the two of you did.

The two of you were extremely happy with each other. Sometimes he would have to go to New York for business. He'd take you into Waystar with him. You'd wait until his meeting was over and then he was right back with you, holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around you.

Shiv noted how you were always smiling or laughing and that was how Lukas was, too. She noted how Lukas would hardly let go of you like he was afraid to lose you all over again. The two of you may have been a bit clingy but it was a happy relationship. Shiv couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

She never told you that, though, even when you came over many times to spend time with your niece. And Shiv noted how good you were with her kid. The kid she hardly spent time with. Here you were, younger, and doing better at everything in life. But she pushed those jealous feelings down; she didn't want to ever poison herself against you, her baby sister.

But you lived in Sweden. You only visited your family every once in an awhile. Well, the family that wanted to see you. Kendall did not. He still could not accept you were with Matsson. But you didn't care.

You had your own little life with Lukas. You sold your art studio in London and got one in Sweden. You submitted many of your paintings to art galleries and you would go see them when they got hung. It made you quite proud.

Once, you took Lukas on a very short two-day camping trip. He absolutely hated it. He couldn't access his phone due to no service out in the middle of nowhere and he had nothing to do. He couldn't fish or make a fire. He was useless out in the wild. You were very amused as he was very clearly such a city boy. But you knew he very much enjoyed the nights cozied up in the tent since you had sex with him then.

But Lukas didn't go camping ever again. You did, though. Lukas was so miserable when you did, too, because he couldn't get in contact with you. You were gone and he didn't like being apart from you.

You went on a two-week camping trip once, too. You would fish and you liked the peacefulness. You'd draw, too, when you were out there. When you got back, you texted Lukas to tell him so. Thirty minutes later he was practically sprinting into the bedroom where you were unpacking your clothes you had taken with you. He picked you up off the ground and trapped your arms to your sides as he hugged the life out of you like you'd been gone for a century. Butterflies erupted. He really missed you.

"Don't ever fucking leave that long," he pleaded. "Please."

You couldn't help but placate him as your heart squeezed, "Alright."

You never went longer than a week after that.

But the months quickly passed and the holidays were thrust upon you. It was Christmas. Everyone in your family was coming. Well, everyone except Kendall. He had responded with yeah, yeah, maybe which was an obvious no. You wondered if he would ever get over Lukas now being the head of Waystar or that board vote that decided it.

But it was the morning of the big holiday. You were exchanging gifts with Lukas out by the gigantic tree you made him get. You had decorated it in red and green lights with the help of the staff (who you had left presents for under the tree and they were allowed to go on break after today for two weeks). He sat on the couch in a tank top and pajama pants while you were in an oversized t-shirt.

You had gotten him a black watch since his broke. He refused to get another one until he did a deep dive on the best watches. You knew that if you got it for him that he'd wear it though and the problem would be solved. You had gotten him some other miscellaneous things.

Then you opened yours. You had gotten a necklace studded with so many diamonds. It basically glimmered. You teased him, "Did you just pick the most expensive thing you could find?"

He bit his lip, "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

You smiled. Then you opened your next one and found a set of paints. You had gasped once you saw them.

"I talked to some, I don't know, expert and he said these were the best so..." Lukas said.

"You talked to an expert?" you gave him a look.

"I don't know. Some fucking artist," he replied.

You giggled before you kissed his cheek and thanked him. You really did love these set of paints. You opened multiple other presents all related to art before you opened the last one.

Your eyes widened as you looked in the box. You picked it up. It was a small pistol.

"Lukas, why is there a gun?"

"You're always going fucking camping, you know. I figured protection for my girl," he said before smiling at the end as he said my girl.

"I don't even know how to shoot it."

"Yeah. That's why I bought you lessons, too."

You smiled a bit as you shook your head. You put the gun back in the box before you moved to straddle him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and massaged them a bit, "You're such a worrier."

"Well, yeah, I got to look out for you. My Ella."

You smiled before you kissed him sweetly. Then you muttered against his lips, "Maybe a little overboard."

"No. It's not overboard if it works and I never lose you," he argued.

"So you think a bear is more competition than you can handle?" you joked.

He chuckled, "Yeah. Maybe."

You hummed before you kissed him again. They shared short, sweet kisses for awhile. But then their little make-out session had to end. You had a lot of planning to do.

You had Freya, an older woman who was their maid, set up the dining table for this event. You also coordinated with the chef, Lars. You were a bit anxious about it all.

"Miss Ella, we know what to do," Freya assured. "It will go perfect. You should go get ready before your guests arrive."

"Thank you, Freya," you smiled before you went off.

You went and got dressed. You wore a short red dress. You fixed your hair and it took a long while for you to do that. And you wore the necklace that Lukas got you.

You fumbled with your hands as you came out of the bathroom and fretted, "Do you think it will go well?"

He had been on his phone as he sat on the bed and waited for you. He was wearing a simple red t-shirt and black track pants. He put his phone away once you came out and he stared a bit in awe, "You're so fucking gorgeous."

You blushed a bit, "Thank you but..."

"It'll be fine," he assured you.

"But both of our moms here and my siblings and...it's going to be a mess, isn't it?"

"No," he smiled in amusement. "Well, maybe just a little bit."

"Lukas!"

He stood up and grabbed your hands, "Ella, relax. With you involved, nothing could ever be a fucking mess."

You smiled, "I love you."

"I love you more, hjärtat."

Lukas had been right. It was not a mess. Roman was, well, Roman with his gross jokes and you couldn't help that. Their mothers kind of smothered everyone but it was mostly went off without a hitch. Shiv and Tom brought your niece and you had immediately picked her up, propping her up on your hip. You talked to her animatedly before giving her a giant cookie that was made just for her.

"She's great with kids, uh?" Tom commented to Lukas.

Lukas hummed as he watched you with his hands in his pockets. He would wait but he desperately wanted kids with you.

The rest of the evening went by perfectly. Well, there was the one instance where his mother and yours (they seemed to get along great) asked when you were having kids. You had choked on your wine.

"We're not in a rush," Lukas answered nonchalantly.

But besides probing questions, it was fine. Hours later they had all left and the house was finally quiet again. You breathed a sigh of relief.

"I told you," he wrapped his arms around you from behind. "Nothing to worry about."

You leaned back into his embrace, "It was my first time hosting so..."

He kissed your shoulder before he asked, "Are you tired?"

"I...Yes," you answered nervously.

"Alright," he said and then he picked you up to carry you bridal style. It made you gasp and giggle. Then he carried you to the bedroom before setting you down.

"I'm gonna change," you said.

He nodded as he took off his shirt and his pants before climbing into bed. You headed to the closet in excitement. You had this all planned since two weeks ago. When you came back out, you were dressed in red lingerie that had a bow over your breasts.

"So there's one last present I had for you," you announced.

Lukas had been on his phone. He had one hand behind his head as laid half-propped against the headboard. His eyes glanced up and then did a double take.

"Fuck, Ella."

He licked his lips and you smiled. You crawled onto the bed towards him before straddling him. You took his phone and set it on the bedside table.

He went to reach for you but you grabbed his hands. You entwined them with yours as you kept his arms bent and up in the air.

"Before you touch me," you stared at him intensely. "I want you to know that I'm ready now."

"Ready for what?"

"To have kids with you," you declared before you held a small smirk. "So do you want to unwrap me now?"

His eyes had stared at you for a few shocked moments. Then he practically attacked you with lust. You had giggled before you got lost in the feeling with him. And it was a very, very long night.

When you woke up in the morning, you could still feel the length of him inside you. His cock acted as a plug to keep his cum inside you. You could feel that he was hard again which made wetness seep out of you and down his shaft.

You wanted him to fuck you. Again. And when he woke, he did. He flipped you onto your belly and straddled your thighs as he fucked you from behind. His cock pounded into you practically making you bounce with each thrust. It was so primal and aggressive.

It made you orgasm rather quickly and your toes curled. Your back arched and you were aware of your painfully erect nipples pressing into the satin sheets. He fucked you through your orgasm with your pussy clenched tightly around his cock as he kept thrusting. His hands moved underneath you and he manipulated you to lift your ass a bit, making him drive deeper into you. You moaned at the new angle even as your front was practically being nailed into the mattress.

You orgasmed again and you felt like you were seeing stars. Your pussy clenched even tighter around his cock and he groaned. He made a few more sloppy thrusts before he gripped your ass cheeks rather tightly as he came inside you.

You felt his warm seed spill deep inside of you. Again. You mewled at the feeling despite the walls of your pussy already being sticky from the seed he painted them with all night.

You wanted him to keep that doing that. Maybe you were cum drunk. You didn't know. But you felt so full and content. You never wanted him to leave you.

He stayed inside you for thirty minutes as they laid there a bit out of it and panting. He was half on top of you. Then he pulled out and you felt so empty as his cum started to leak out.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he commented.

You merely hummed and followed him. Your legs ached a bit. But you didn't focus on that. Your mind was in a fog. You were in a blissed-out haze. And every kiss you shared with him felt amplified and you felt like every cell yearned for him.

Maybe the steam of the shower was making you all fuzzy but when they got out, you fucked him on the bathroom counter. Then you took him back to bed. They just ended up spending the whole day in bed together having sex.

Every day after that, he fucked you. They weren't as bad as that first day but every night he'd fuck you. But they did fuck once at a restaurant in the bathroom. You were bent over the sink with your hands on the white porcelain. You could not believe you let him to do this but you were just as bad as he was.

"When I said I wanted a baby, I didn't mean you should have sex with me relentlessly."

"So you don't want me to fuck you?" he had a smug grin as he gave you a particularly deep thrust making you gasp.

"You're such an ass," you panted.

"An ass you love," he still had that stupid grin and his blue eyes were so bright with happiness. He was so damn pretty. You couldn't help but love it. God. You were so in deep with him.

"Yes, I love you. I love you, Lukas," you uttered and the overwhelming amount of affection you felt made you orgasm before he had even thrusted inside of you again. And your words did it. He groaned before he came inside you.

That was what it was like leading up to New Year's. You found out you were pregnant only a couple days after the new year began. You were so ecstatic and Lukas was happy.

But then the nausea set in. The first trimester was hard for you. You were sick nearly all the time. Your breasts were sore and you were just exhausted.

You'd often wake up in the middle of the night puking. Lukas was so good with you. He would get up and hold your hair, he'd give you back rubs, and he'd even stay home with you. He didn't often go into work besides four days out of the week.

He was just very attentive with you which you appreciated. When the second trimester came around, the nausea had subsided. Your breasts grew and you went up two cup sizes by the end of the trimester. Lukas loved playing with them which felt really great.

But something else had changed in the second trimester. Your libido increased tenfold. You felt like an animal. You were attacking Lukas for sex practically all the time. You would even go to his work just to have him fuck you on his desk.

At night, you'd have very dirty dreams. When they ended, you were all hot and bothered so you'd wake him up pawing at him for sex. You felt quite terrible that you were interrupting his sleep. You had even cried about it once. Lukas just kissed you and told you that you were being silly; like a switch flipped, that calmed you right down and you stopped crying.

One night, you were having sex with him. You were straddling him and you had been bouncing on his dick. But he had gone soft. You had pouted, "I need you again."

He stroked his cock to get it to become hard again as he joked, "It's like you're trying to break my dick."

"What? No. I love you," you frowned like he'd said the worst thing in history and tears built up in your eyes. "Why would I want to break it? How could you ever think I'd want to hurt you?"

Lukas chuckled, "Ella, it was a joke."

You sniffled, "Don't say stuff like that."

"Okay," he complied.

"I love you too much," you replied before you kissed him.

You kissed him shortly before you trailed kisses down to his neck. You muttered against his skin, "Love you so much."

You moved down to kiss his chest and you sucked before nipping at the skin as you mused, "Just want you all the time."

"Fuck, Ella."

And he was hard. You sunk down on his cock and began to bounce again. You began to have sex with him again.

The second trimester had been filled with a lot of sex. But you had also found out the gender of your baby. You were having a boy. The room that you had once painted for a baby was set up once again. Your belly started to show and Lukas was always kissing it.

You let everyone in your family know. Connor seemed the happiest for you. But you didn't much care who was happy and who wasn't. It was your life and you were happy for yourself. That was all that mattered.

Then the third trimester came and that had to be the worst. Your breasts grew even more and you now had an H cup. Your belly was swollen. Your back hurt. Your feet hurt and you had slight edema. You were very irritable. You just wanted the baby out of you.

You practically ignored Lukas. You didn't even let him hold you at night. The hormone you blamed him for knocking you up. It was unreasonable but you couldn't help it. You were so emotional.

One day he went to kiss you before he left to go to work. But you just turned your head. When he said he loved you, you merely hummed.

But as soon as he left, you started crying. You felt terrible. You ran out the door after him and stopped him before he even got in the car.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," you sobbed. "I love you. I love you so much. I don't want you to leave and not know that."

"I know," he responded as he wiped your tears away with his thumbs before kissing you softly. You eagerly pressed your lips back to his and let all of your frustration melt away.

When the kiss finished, you explained, "I'm just so tired and sore. I just want this baby out and I'm being mean to you. I'm terrible."

"You're not terrible," you argued. "But let's fix some of that, yeah?"

"What about work?"

"Fuck it," he said before he shuffled you inside. "I'm taking care of you."

And he did. He had you take a bubble bath. He gave you a massage. At the end of the night, you'd curled up against him in bed and held onto him tightly.

Things hadn't been as lovely as that day had been. You still got snappy and moody with him. But that all changed when you had the baby. You had an easy labor with a spontaneous birth.

You took on the role of mother very easily when you took your baby boy home. He was named Mattias. You doted on him but he cried nearly all the time. You were exhausted.

You and Lukas were exhausted. You barely got anytime to yourselves. But five weeks after the birth, you had gotten up to take a shower. You basically knew now when Matti would wake up. So you got up to take a shower but when you stepped out, breast milk leaked out of one of your breasts.

You groaned in frustration as Lukas came into the bathroom. When he saw the situation, he did something you did not expect. He grabbed you by your hips when you went to grab a hand towel, keeping you in place, before he leaned down and licked the trail of breast milk up from your abdomen, cleaning you off.

Your stomach twisted and you felt a low heat in your belly. You thought it was extremely hot. It turned you on and realized this was the first you had been in months.

When he was done, you grabbed him by his neck and pulled him to you. You kissed him. Your hands ran up his bare chest since he didn't wear a shirt to bed. His hands grabbed at your hips before picking you up and setting you on the bathroom counter.

You panted as you pulled away from him and argued, "Matti will wake up soon."

"I'll be quick," he replied.

You glanced at the baby monitor on the counter that was silent. Then you looked back at him and spread your legs for him. He pushed his sweats down to his thighs, revealing his erection. He lined himself up with your slit before pushing into you. You gasped a little.

It had been months since you had sex with him. And this wasn't I love you sex but I need a release sex. It was quick and rough as he plowed into you. Your kisses were short and hungry. Desperate. Your nails scraped his chest as he made you orgasm and his orgasm quickly followed yours.

The both of you were panting once you were done. His lips attached themselves to your neck, planting soft kisses on your skin. You moaned a little and tilted your head back to give him access.

But then the baby monitor was filled with sound. Matti was crying. You groaned a little bit in exhaustion and you went to move off the counter but he squeezed your thighs lightly, "I'll get him."

You nodded and he left. Matti, like clockwork, needed to be changed at around six in the morning. Then he'd go back to sleep for about twenty minutes before he'd cry again to be fed. You rested for a couple of minutes before you got up to take another shower.

When you got out and you were actually dressed, you went to the baby room. You found Lukas holding Matti against his chest and rubbing his back as he slept ever so soundly. You smiled as you saw it.

You watched them for a few more moments before Matti started to cry. You stepped in and took him before you fed him. Breastfeeding was a long process that took about forty minutes and you were doing this eight to twelve times a day. It was a lot but you were always quite happy (even though exhausted) as you cooed at your baby boy and gazed at him lovingly.

Your baby boy was the center of your whole world. A week later you found out you were pregnant again, an accident. But it didn't matter; being a mother made you happy. This pregnancy (and every other) was much easier and less intense; you became a mother that actually didn't mind being pregnant. You would have another boy, Julian, that also became your greatest treasure in life.

After having Julian, like clockwork, you got pregnant again only six weeks later. You had another boy named Elias. After giving birth to him, you moved with Lukas into another house.

The one he had contained a lot of open space in the living room and such but very little bedrooms. They needed something bigger and more comfortable for a family. This new house also had an art studio. You were overjoyed with it.

Almost as soon as you moved in, you got pregnant again. You had another boy named Nikolaj. Then you got pregnant a fifth time and finally had a girl. She was named Annika.

After her, you had two more boys one after the other. Tobias and Henrik. When you were pregnant with Henrik, you had gone to New York with Lukas. He had something to do with Waystar. You went shopping while he was in his meeting. Mattias, now almost seven, wanted to go with you and so did Nikolaj, who was almost three. Nikolaj was extremely attached to you and shy. So you took the both of them with you while you left the rest with Freya who had became something of a nanny.

When you were out with them, you were approached by a man in the store. You had caught him talking to Mattias. He had an odd smile on his face as he went to reach for him, "You look so much like your father."

"Mattias, come here," your voice was stern as you grabbed his hand and tugged him behind you. You already held Nikolaj, propping him up on your hip.

"Leave my kids alone please," you tried staying cordial with him.

"You have another one," he smiled even wider as his eye twitched. "He has his blonde hair. And you have another one growing..."

He quickly reached out and placed his hand on your pregnant belly. You gasped before stepping back and you smacked his hand away, "Don't ever touch me."

His smile turned to a frown, "You bitch. They're ours. You can't keep them from us."

He went to lunge for you, his hands reaching for your neck, but you quickly let go of Mattias and punched him. Then you grabbed Mattias, gripping his hand so tightly, and rushed out of there. You went to the car where Sven, your driver, was there. The man had followed you and Sven wrestled him to the ground. He kept him there until the cops came.

An ambulance even came. They doctored up your hand as Sven watched your kids. Apparently, you had sprained it from hitting the guy so hard in the face.

Then Lukas showed up. The boys took off towards him as soon as they saw him. He crouched down and hugged them both tightly to him, "My boys. Are you hurt? Did you get hurt?"

He let go of them to turn their hands from side to side, inspecting them for any injuries. Nikolaj spoke, "Mommy saved us."

Mattias added on, "Mom is hurt. She punched him."

"Come here," he picked Nikolaj up and held him. He placed his hand on the back of Mattias to shuffle him forward to the ambulance.

Lukas found you and looked at your hand, "You're hurt. It is broken?"

"It's just a sprain," you assured.

He sighed before he leaned over and kissed the top of your head. Then he did it again seemingly just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"And the baby?"

"He's fine. He's tough," you smiled as you rubbed your belly with your non-sprained hand.

He sighed again before he picked up Mattias as well. Mattias laid his head on his shoulder as he held both of his boys tightly.

"You're never going fucking anywhere alone again."

"Dad said a bad word," Mattias smirked.

"Yeah, I did. But I'm mad right now," Lukas explained.

"Alright," you agreed as you stared at your boys. You never wanted anything to happen to any of your children.

It had been some deranged fanboy of Lukas that had did it. He went to jail for a year. After that situation, you always had security now.

Nothing bad had happened again and a couple of months later, you gave birth to Henrik. You got pregnant one last time and had a girl. She was named Linnea.

After her, you had decided that eight kids was enough. You had your tubes tied in a procedure. You were no longer having anymore kids and you didn't have to worry about contraception.

Now you just raised your babies. You took them camping or taught them how to paint. Lukas played video games or soccer with the boys. You would have a family night where you played a board game which got very animated. All of them seemed to have a competitive streak in them.

They all had the blond hair of Lukas and his bright blue eyes. But they had your facial features like dimpled cheeks and little noses. They were absolutely adorable. They all got the tall gene, too, so you were the only one in the family that was short.

You were so happy and you gave them all the love you had. You made sure that each one of them knew that they could choose whatever path they wanted. Lukas did, too. If they didn't want to go into business, they didn't have to.

For example, Tobias had gotten really into soccer. You along with Lukas attended each one of his games. He actually ended up becoming a major soccer player.

Each one of your kids was well-adjusted and they all chose their own paths. Not a single one of them took over the business. Lukas had actually ended up selling the whole thing, Gojo and Waystar, and got a massive payout.

When the kids all moved out, you and Lukas downsized to another house. You didn't need one so big anymore. You just lived your life with Lukas and checked in on your kids constantly. You always had to know what they were doing. You wanted to make sure they were happy like you were.

But the years went on. You would go on hikes with Lukas or cozy up to watch a movie. They were very lowkey when the kids moved out. You still did a lot of painting.

You grew old with Lukas until, well, you couldn't. When you were in your late sixties, he passed away. You supposed you weren't necessarily surprised because there was the large age gap between them but it still hurt. You were lonely for a long time. You lived alone and did everything alone.

When you got a bit older and you couldn't even paint because of the arthritis in your hands, you moved in with Nikolaj. He took care of you until you passed as well. In the those last few months, you held a deep longing. Because the gravity that always held you to the Earth was no longer there. It was in your memories. And you died in your sleep with a smile on your face. You let gravity take you to that place in your mind, the one with Lukas, and you died swimming in the pictures and moments of your life forever.

It was peaceful. It was a life worth living. And you hoped your children found a gravity that made them happy with life like you did.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Two

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Warnings: none

Chapters: One, Two

Summary: You meet Lukas again when you’re in Italy for your mother’s wedding.

Chapter Two

You were oblivious.

Roman had made a number of comments about how Lukas wanted to fuck you ever since that night. Of course, you denied them. You didn't believe that they could be true.

You had a small reprieve from the comments Roman made at the wedding of your mother. You were out by the pool with your legs dipped in the water while you soaked up the sun. You had your bathing suit on along with a pink long sleeve crochet dress that acted as a coverup for the bathing suit.

You didn't even know why you put your bathing suit on. It wasn't like you planned to get in the water. You couldn't or else everyone would know. Everyone would see. And people couldn't know because no one would ever understand.

You suppose you wore the bathing suit to make people think you would get in the water; to not raise suspicions. But it wasn't like anyone particularly paid attention to you. Even your own mother had been surprised to see you like she'd suddenly realized she had another daughter.

"Oh," Caroline felt her eyes widen. "Ella. I wasn't sure if you'd be coming."

"Of course I'd come. Why wouldn't I? It's your big day," you had a small, excited smile. You loved weddings. You supposed you liked to see other people happy even if you couldn't be.

"Well, you know..." Caroline trailed off. She and Uncle Ewan were the only other ones that knew where you had been for a year, what had happened, what had changed.

And your mother changed the subject. "But I am so happy you're here, dear. You seem a bit happier, don't you? Well, I'm sure all this sun will cheer anyone right up. You'll try and get some, won't you?"

The topic of happiness made you uncomfortable. Whenever you thought of the word happy, not one thing popped up in your head that made you happy. Sure you had everything you could ever want but you didn't have what you needed; you had fleeting moments of joy but not the bliss that settled deep into the bones. Your bones were not weighed down by it and your brain did not comprehend it.

But you smiled, "Yes, Mom."

So that was what you did: spent time in the sun. You never really were a sunny weather type person. It was too hot, too bright, and you felt like you were going to melt away and no one would even notice. No, you liked the rain and the chill and the cold.

Luckily, you didn't have to spend too long in the sun. Roman came to get you and practically dragged you with him, telling you that they were going to see Lukas.

Roman had been ordered to take you. He had told their father about how Lukas liked you. After the tweet fiasco, he wanted Roman to go talk to the man and he wanted you brought along.

"Bring your sister with you."

So here you were, still in your bathing suit and coverup dress to see Lukas. You kept tugging at the dress, trying to make it longer than it was. It only went just below your butt and you felt very self-conscious. And it also didn't feel right going to see someone you barely knew in a bathing suit.

"You could have at least let me change," you pouted at Roman as they sat in the boat that sped across the water.

"Why? Lukas will love it," Roman smirked a little.

"Roman! He does not want to...you know," you said quietly like it was a sin to speak any louder about the subject of sex.

"You can't even say it. That's cute."

You huffed and ignored him. You didn't know why Roman had to make so many lewd comments about Lukas wanting to "fuck" her. It was like he was obsessed with it. You didn't understand.

It didn't take long before the boat was docked at the house in Switzerland that Lukas owned. The water was a bit choppy and the boat was rocking a bit. Roman had difficulty getting out of the boat and Lukas even offered his hand to him which made you giggle a bit when Roman slapped it away.

When it was your turn, you did take his hand as you smiled, "Hi, Lukas."

"Ella," he grinned.

You stared at him noticing that in the sunlight he had haunting blue eyes, cold eyes that made you feel like a burning heat had sparked in your veins. It was a conundrum. And when he said your name so delicately, you felt a fluttering in your stomach. You didn't know what it was. Did you eat something you weren't supposed to?

"Have you slept any better?" you asked as they walked forward while he placed a hand on your back to guide you. Your dress was backless and you shivered a bit when he touched you but didn't say anything. You didn't notice his eyes were all over you now that you were slightly in front of him.

Your legs were on full display and your dress had a massive v-neck which showed your cleavage. It was like dangling a piece of gold in front of him and expecting him not to grab it. It was so obvious why Logan sent her but Lukas didn't really give a fuck. His eyes could drink you in and no one could stop him.

"Without your pretty fucking voice, no," he replied.

You blushed red.

He continued, "So I hear you have this, uh, wedding?"

"Yeah. For my mom."

"Do you have a date?"

"No."

"Do you want one?" his eyes peered at you intensely.

You blinked, catching onto what he was saying. You shook your head slowly, "You'd just ignore me in favor of my dad. He's like...gravity."

He grinned and looked at you like you were amusing, "You're funny to think that someone could ignore you."

You stared at him then. You thought your heart stopped beating, hanging onto his words. They didn't compute in your brain. Everyone ignored you. Didn't he know that? Was he saying he wouldn't?

Your eyes caught onto Roman looking between you two. You had almost forgotten he was there. You visibly stepped back from Lukas which made him frown slightly.

"Um, so I think my brother wants to ask you about some tweet thing," you changed subjects.

"Some tweet thing?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah," you put your hands on your hips. "Apparently, you're in big trouble over there."

"Am I?" he smiled.

His smile made your heart jump. Why was that? What was going on? You merely nodded shyly with a small smile.

"What my sister is trying to say is that the tweet just didn't look great," Roman interjected.

"No?" Lukas asked.

You kind of spaced out after that as Roman started to talk to Lukas about some deal. You stared out at the ocean and listened to the slow, steady sound of the waves.

You wanted to draw the ocean and the mountains and the whole landscape. You'd always been good at drawing but you hadn't done it in years. You went to art school once but after only a year your father convinced you to give it up in favor of business school. You sighed.

Soon, Roman got your attention and you followed after him back to the boat. You looked at Lukas once you got to the dock.

"Bye, Lukas," you smiled.

"If you ever need a date, feel free to call me," Lukas gazed at you with his hands in his pockets.

Your breath got stolen and your cheeks reddened again. You struggled to form words, "Oh...um, okay. Alright."

Your brain finally caught up to the moment and logic came to the surface. You furrowed your eyebrows, "But what if you're not free when I need you?"

"I'll be free," he promised.

Then he kissed your cheek before helping you into the boat by holding your hand. You were sure you looked like a tomato at this point. Maybe your mother was right; you needed more sun. If you were tan, it would hide more of the red than your pale cheeks did.

Once you were in the boat and sitting by your brother, it took off. Roman looked at you strangely, "What did you do to make him like you so much?"

"He doesn't like me that much," you replied. You were sure that Lukas was just being nice and polite. He would ignore her, too, one day.

"Are you crazy? Yes, he does. Which is actually fucking insane. You do your weird little trances. You're like a kooky fucking wallflower," Roman said before he chuckled. "But, yeah, I guess, it's cute sometimes."

You frowned and tears stung your eyes. You turned your head from him and ignored him.

"What? Did I hurt your feelings?" Roman said but he chuckled lightly. "Come on, El. You are fucking weird but it's okay because I love you, alright? There, I said it. Can you get over it now?"

You glanced at Roman before sniffling. Your lip trembled as you spoke, "Don't call me weird."

"Alright. Fine," Roman rolled his eyes. After a moment, he spoke again. "He does like you, though."

You huffed. Not this again. But Roman didn't say anything more on the topic of Lukas liking her.

What you didn't know is that you had missed something in your "kooky" trance. In your space out, you had missed Lukas saying he wanted the best of everything while staring at you.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Seventeen

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen

Warnings: smut (18+), communication issues galore, toxic dependency issues, grief

AN: had to include this lovely gif

You didn't even work at Waystar anymore so you were not on the list to come to Norway. You had been intending to help Connor at the funeral home and make sure their father looked right. But Roman showed up and practically dragged you with him to the airport despite your protests about it; he had even taken your phone so you couldn't tell Lukas you were coming.

Roman said it would be a happy surprise for Lukas. You ignored him. You were taking deep breaths in the car as you felt panic. You did not want to see Lukas and have the inevitable come true: where he told you he didn't want you anymore.

"I don't know why you're freaking out. He'll love it and then he'll be all buttered up for the deal," Roman smirked at his own plan.

"It won't happen," you denied. "He won't care that much."

"Yeah. Sure," he responded sarcastically.

You huffed and turned away to stare out the window. You did not want to do this. You weren't even invited. It was rude. You were being rude and Lukas was going to resent you for it. Yet you knew Roman would not let you go home. You were trapped into this it seemed.

_____

When they arrived at the airport, Kendall gave your youngest brother a look, "Rome, seriously?"

"You can't deny that it's good strategy," Roman said.

Kendall deliberated for a moment before he sighed. Roman did make a point. Matsson had this weird fixation on you that Kendall assumed was because the man wanted to get into your pants (not because the two of you were friends like you said); he believed, as did the rest of your siblings, that you were too oblivious to any advances and it couldn't hurt to have you come along.

So you were brought along with them to this retreat. You wore a beige dress (that Roman picked out and told you to wear) and some tan boots; you also had a tan trench coat. You fumbled with your hands the whole time on the plane. You were nervous.

You didn't like this. You didn't like being used like this but it did make you feel important to your siblings. Yet it did not make you feel good about coming along. You supposed you let it happen because despite your doubts about what he would say to you, the urge to see Lukas was far too strong.

When you got to Norway, you stared out the window at the scenery as the car drove to the retreat destination. It was quite beautiful and your fingers itched to draw it. It made you calm.

Once they reached the retreat destination, you got out of the car with your siblings. You tried to hide behind them. You didn't want to be noticed. But Oskar was the one directing people where to go and he noticed you.

"Ella," he said in surprise. "We were not expecting you."

"I...Sorry."

Oskar was glad that you were here. Lukas had been difficult and was in a frenzy because you had not been answering your phone for hours. The tech CEO had even ordered his workers to call you. Since Roman took your phone, you had no idea that Lukas had been calling you nearly a hundred times and left you probably a thousand texts. (Roman had turned your phone off though when he took it and didn't even know this was happening.)

"You'll go on this one," Oskar directed you to a golf cart that you sat in alone with only the driver. "You'll go to the top."

The golf cart took off and you saw Oskar call someone quickly. He was probably telling Lukas you were here. You wondered if he was mad; he probably was going to be.

The driver took you to the gondola lift. You went on it. You stared out at the valley below as it slowly took you to a building on top of the mountain. The closer the gondola got to the building, the faster your heart started to race.

And then you were there, stepping into the building. As soon as you did so, you heard the call of your name. You didn't notice how he said it in relief as you found him walking towards you. You didn't notice how quickly he was walking like a man starved or excited.

You were oblivious as you froze. The first urge you felt as you stared at him was to run to him and hug him. But you resisted. He probably didn't want to hug you. So you slowly, stiffly, walked towards him to meet him in the middle.

"Hi," you avoided his gaze as you said meekly and you didn't notice him grinning at just seeing you.

"What are you doing? Come here," Lukas said like you were being silly before he pulled you into a hug with him, lifting you off your feet as he held you.

You were surprised. But you melted into him almost immediately and wrapped your arms around his neck. You let out a content sigh as you nuzzled the side of your face into the crook of his shoulder.

But then you realized what you were doing. You were being clingy. Wasn't that a thing that no one liked clingy girlfriends? You immediately let go of him, pushing away to drop to your feet and he formed a small frown as you did so.

"I've been calling you," he addressed. "Why haven't you answered?"

"Oh, um, Roman took my phone," you said, focusing on the scenery again as you stuck your hands in your pockets. "He, um, wanted you to be surprised when you saw me."

Lukas hummed a bit in frustration, "Ella, you do see that your siblings are using you to try to get at me, right?"

"Yes," you looked down. "But it doesn't matter what they want. I just...I think I just wanted to see you. And I saw you so I can leave if you don't want me here..."

"No. Fuck no. Ella, I don't give a fuck if you're here. I like that you're here," he replied. "I just...I want you to see that you have shitty fucking siblings."

"They're still my siblings, Lukas," you defended slightly.

"Ella..."

He got cut off when the rest of your siblings arrived along with the old guard. You walked away from Lukas as Kendall questioned, "Ella?"

"I was just greeting Lukas," you replied with a small smile as you moved past them to stand a little bit away at the window. You completely dissociated and you didn't notice Lukas kept his eyes on you as you walked away and it took him a moment before he recovered and greeted your siblings like nothing had happened.

_____

You had gone back down the lift with Shiv. She had placed an arm around you and guided you away from the window, "Hey, come on. Let's let the boys be boys."

So you were back down below. The negotiations that had taken place up top were over and everyone was outside on the grounds in the valley. Lukas had approached you and wanted to talk which you had agreed to but Kendall called you away. You told Lukas you would meet him at night in his cabin.

But you were now off to the side a bit watching the water rush in the river with your hands in your pockets. You didn't notice Lukas kept glancing at you.

Even though he was practically twenty feet away from you, it felt like a chasm was between them. There was a black hole that you didn't know how to navigate around.

You were interrupted from your thoughts when Greg approached you, "Hey, here's your beer."

"Why are you giving me a beer?" you asked as you took it. You didn't even like beer.

"Oh, well, Roman said to get you one...so I got you one," Greg explained as you heard the movement of a chair. "If it's not to your liking, I can get you another one, of course."

You looked towards the noise to find Lukas had risen from his seat rather abruptly. He was tense while staring at you and Greg with a hard gaze. He muttered something in Swedish to the rest of the people at the table he sat at before he moved to get another beer. You suddenly realized why Roman sent Greg over to you; Lukas did not know Greg was your cousin and would think he was some random guy that you brought along.

You felt angry tears build up at the fact that Roman was now using you to see if Lukas would be jealous. You glanced at your siblings before you made a beeline for them. You practically slammed the beer down on the table they were at.

"Jesus, Ellie," Shiv said.

"My phone," you held out your hand as you stared at Roman coldly. He sighed and relinquished it to you. You took it.

You then took off your trench coat and draped it over the table. Kendall zeroed in on the scar on your arm, "Uh, maybe you should keep that on, El, okay?"

"Why?" you furrowed your eyebrows. "It's not like Dad is around to care anymore."

Kendall and Shiv were shocked into silence. Roman raised his eyebrows as you started to put your hair into a ponytail, "Wow. And what exactly is it that you're doing?"

You mocked with a smile, "What do you mean, Rome? What should I be doing? Fucking Lukas?"

And you walked off as Roman blinked, "Did she just say fuck?"

You walked off a little ways to the archery course. It was something you had learned with Uncle Ewan. It made you focus and concentrate on the world around you. But right now your only focus was anger. You picked up the bow so quickly and notched the arrow, taking a deep breath before letting it fly and hit the target with such force. Bullseye.

"Okay, I think I can say that she has completely lost it," Roman commented to his siblings as they watched you in the distance.

"Did anyone know she could shoot?" Kendall questioned.

You notched another arrow in rapid succession. Bullseye.

"Roman, what did you do to make her so upset?" Shiv asked.

You notched another. Bullseye.

"Me? I think it's safe to say she's picturing all of our faces right now," Roman said.

You put down the bow and walked back to them with a bit of a skip in your step. You had a wide smile on your face that made you look a bit deranged. You grabbed your coat and put it on.

"I feel much better now," you said a bit joyfully.

"Oh, so violently shooting arrows makes you feel better. That's great," Roman stated.

"What was that?" Shiv asked.

"Yeah, what the Hell, El?" Kendall asked.

"It's a retreat, guys," you smiled prettily like you didn't know what they were talking about. "It's called having fun. Maybe you should try it sometime."

And you walked away from them, leaving them blinking after you a bit in shock. You wanted to be far away from them at the moment. You walked past the table where Lukas sat and his eyes followed you just as Tom sat down.

"Did she just suggest we don't know how to have fun?" Roman stated.

Kendall gave him a look, "I think that was obvious, Rome."

Kendall then had to get involved in the Tom and Greg debacle when Lukas made a joke. It led them to everyone clearing out so the siblings could talk to Lukas privately about the deal.

Things were tense as between Lukas and the two brothers as the talk ended. But Lukas just had to say something and make it even more tense.

"Real cool dragging your suicidal sister halfway across the world by the way," Lukas commented.

"We know how to take care of our sister, okay?" Kendall defended. "And she's not suicidal."

Lukas chuckled like Kendall told a joke and nodded sarcastically, "Right. Yeah. Sure."

"And she's really not any of your business, man," Kendall argued.

"No?" Lukas grinned in amusement as he thought of how you were very much his business considering he was dating you.

"No," Kendall denied.

_____

The sky was now starting to darken and it was drizzling rain. You were under the overhang as music played. It was where you had gone before and danced a little bit. You now stood on the edge of the overhang and held your hand out to let the rain fall onto your skin with a small smile.

Lukas was talking to Shiv about the deal and could not help but watch you. He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of you. Even less so when you smiled; you were riveting when you did so. And it made him satisfied that you were, at least, happy about something.

Shiv noticed and commented, "A little too protective over my sister, don't you think?"

"It's a...it's a complicated issue," Lukas stated before he mused. "Actually, it's not. It's simple. I like her. And I get a little insane, I guess, about her sometimes."

"Uh huh."

Then Lukas grinned like a shark at Shiv, "But, of course, you and the Two Stooges know that or you wouldn't have brought her here. Trying to soften me up. It's smart. Your father was going to do it, too."

"Yeah. Maybe," Shiv replied coolly but she liked the idea of being compared to Logan.

Lukas brought Shiv back to his cabin at the very top of hill to talk about the deal. He sat on the couch and he took a hit of cocaine. Then Shiv told him a bit about her situation with Tom. To relate, Lukas began to speak and he had slightly loose lips because he was currently high.

"So I'm dating this girl," Lukas revealed. "At first, I was just in it for the sex, you know. And it sort of just creeped up on me, I guess. I don't know. Yet I...I really fucking love her. I do."

He bit his lip nervously as he thought of you, "But I, I did something before we were even dating. And I don't think she'd ever forgive me if she found out."

Shiv was silent for a moment before she questioned, "So you're dating someone yet you're totally interested in my sister?"

Lukas grinned, "Well, your sister is a, uh, very special case."

Shiv hummed before you entered the cabin, calling his name, "Lukas!"

You were tired yet you wanted to see Lukas. You didn't think you could talk to him during the day, out in the open. It was nighttime now and you thought it would be okay. You figured that Oskar had your bags delivered to wherever Lukas was staying, anyways (and you were right).

Lukas stood to attention as soon as he heard your voice call his name. And his eyes did not leave you like you were his only rapture as you entered, taking off your coat.

You were surprised when you saw your sister and you paused in your step, "...and Shiv."

"Ellie," she furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, since I wasn't expected to come. They didn't know where to put me," you lied. "So they put me here and Lukas is going to sleep on the couch."

"Uh huh," Shiv studied you. You were always oblivious and it sounded like a scheme that Lukas had cooked up to sleep under the same roof as you. Shiv didn't believe anything would happen because you never noticed when someone was flirting with you. So Shiv trusted you to be alone.

Shiv stood, "Well, then I'll get out of here and let you go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Lukas was still staring at you and still standing. You waited for Shiv to leave before you approached Lukas, putting your coat on the table, and now that you were with him, their argument from this morning didn't really matter. It seemed to fade away; it seemed so trivial when all you wanted to do was just spend time with him.

Did it make you sad that he had to lecture you about your siblings? Yes. But you couldn't change that and you couldn't be mad at him for suggesting that your siblings were bad for you. They were. You knew that. But really you just couldn't be mad at him at all. You wondered if there was anything that would make you truly mad at him.

He asked as you approached, "I'm not actually sleeping on the couch, am I?"

"No," you giggled as you sat down on the couch and he only sat back down now that you did.

"Good. That's good," he stared at you intensely with his pupils blown before he smiled. "You look so pretty."

He reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek as he pouted, "Couldn't keep my eyes off of you. It was so fucking difficult, Ella."

You stared at him before squinting your eyes, "Are you high?"

"Um," he avoided your gaze nervously as he hunched over while sitting like he was about to be scolded. "Yeah. Yes. I am. Yeah."

You stared at him, deciding you could have fun with this as you asked, "So am I the prettiest girl in the world or...how pretty are we talking?"

"Of course you are. Stupid question. Completely dumb," he argued.

You smiled and he traced your lips, "So beautiful."

You lost the ability to breathe with his fingers on your skin. And you noticed something on his wrist. The bracelet. It was a silver bracelet with a heart pendant. You had a matching one on your wrist.

When you'd been pregnant, you had seen matching bracelets in a storefront and couldn't help but buy them. It was the hormones that made you do it because normally you would have never have bought him something that he could reject.

And you had never had a boyfriend before. You'd never been able to do cute cringey things with someone. The only experience you had were romantic movies. Well, you saw the relationship between Shiv and Tom along with all your father's many marriages and you wanted neither of those. You wanted something real where there was no cheating; you wanted someone to be yours just as you were theirs.

So you had gotten them matching bracelets. You thought it was romantic and you were so happy about it. When you first got them, Lukas didn't have the heart to tell you that he thought it was stupid. So the next day he hadn't worn it and because of the hormones of your pregnancy, you were upset and you cried. He immediately wore it to appease you but then he wore it every day since; he even wore it in the shower because he never wanted to see you cry.

But you had been paranoid ever since then. You avoided looking at his wrist. You didn't want to see it not be there like you suspected.

But here it was, on his wrist still. You didn't want to read too much into it. Maybe he just forget it was there and didn't take it off. Maybe it was habit. You refused to believe it was because he cared about you.

You swallowed and looked into his very dilated eyes. You realized you could ask him anything and he would tell you truthfully. You thought of asking him if he loved you but you did not want to know the response so you requested what you had wanted for ages. What you wanted as you gazed at his lips.

"Kiss me," you uttered.

He seemed to hesitate before he leaned towards you. He did it ever so slowly. You were breathing so heavily in anticipation as his nose brushed yours. Then he brushed his lips against yours before finally, finally, kissing you.

He kissed you slowly and softly like you were delicate. It made your heart skip a beat. You felt like you were melting as a warmth spread through your veins and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You moved to straddle him and he leaned his head back against the couch as the two of you continued to kiss. You still kissed slowly and sensually but you were a bit greedy, pushing your lips a little more deeply to his. You ran your fingers through his hair before moving them down to tug at his sweater and he peeled it off for you.

There was a momentary pause where they had to break apart and stop kissing as he did so. Then the shirt was gone and you attached yourself to him again. He stood up and wrapped your legs around him before carrying you to the bedroom.

It was dark with no light at all but the tall glass windows let moonlight illuminate the room, casting their shadows on the wall. He set you down as you unzipped your dress and shimmied out of it. He began to undo his pants and take them off but he had paused slightly before continuing as you took off your bra.

Once they were both bare, his eyes drank you in. You were completely mesmerizing. You seemed to glow in the moonlight. He thought if there was a fucking moon goddess, it had to be you. Nothing had ever illuminated the dark so well as you.

He went to place his hands on your hips but he hesitated, "Can I touch you?"

"Please, Lukas."

With your command, he did so. He ran them over your skin so slowly like he hadn't touched you a million times before. Like your skin was new territory he hadn't conquered. Like it was the first time.

With only the moonlight, it all felt cosmic. It felt like the two of you were fated. It felt like he was meant to be touching you.

And as he did so he kissed you again, soft and slow. Then his lips moved down to your jaw, to your neck, to your collarbone, down the valley of your breasts to your stomach. He laid multiple kisses there, delicate kisses, before he moved down.

His head was between your legs and he licked a stripe up the middle between your folds. You gasped and you grabbed his shoulders to keep yourself steady, from collapsing due to your legs feeling like jelly.

"You're so fucking wet," he commented with a small groan.

You didn't respond. Of course you were wet. Of course you were desperate. It had been more than a month since they last had sex and you needed him.

His tongue started to play with your clit. He lavishly pleasured the small bundle of nerves with slow, long licks. You rocked your hips slightly against his mouth. A heat built up in your lower belly ever so slowly until you hit a crescendo and you orgasmed, moaning his name, as your nails dug into his shoulders. Your legs shook and spasmed from the force of it as he licked another stripe over your sex, lapping up the juices you released.

Then he stood and you grabbed him, looping your arms around his neck to bring to him to your level. You kissed him and tasted yourself on his mouth. You liked the thought of you on him. Like he was more yours this way.

He shuffled you backwards until the back of your legs hit the bed. You climbed on it, scooting yourself backwards as he followed, crawling and hovering over you. He took his place between your legs as he took one of your hands and placed it over your head as he entwined it with his; his other hand was planted beside your head. He then rested his forehead against yours as he stared into your eyes.

"Ella," his voice caressed your name and he was looking at you so softly. It was almost like just saying your name became an I love you but you were too stubborn to believe that.

And you felt him insert himself inside of you. You gasped a little as he filled you ever so slowly. It was so slow and torturous that it burned just right and put you deeper into ecstasy than you were.

When he was completely sheathed inside of you, he let you adjust. And then he started to move against you. He barely pulled back before thrusting. They were slow, deep, gentle thrusts and his body was pressed against yours. It felt like he was making love to you.

Even though they had sex before, everything felt so much more intimate. He kept his forehead pressed against yours and you could look into his eyes, his beautiful eyes. You'd kiss periodically or squeeze each other's hand and you fell apart so quickly.

You cried out for him as you orgasmed. And his orgasm followed yours. He groaned loudly as he squeezed your hand tightly and you felt his cock pulse and throb inside of you as his seed filled you.

As soon as he did so, he pulled out of you quickly. You were confused as you panted and so did he. He lifted his head a bit before he kissed your cheek and muttered against your skin, "I'm sorry."

You blinked as he moved to lay beside you. Did he just apologize for having sex with you? You felt hurt as you snuggled up against his side. It felt clear now. He did not care about you. He was just a guy and couldn't resist sex. He did not care. But you did.

_____

You did not sleep at all that night, awake and in agony from the fact that he didn't care. Lukas slept peacefully though. When the sun had started to rise, you got up and stared out the window.

Lukas had stared to blink his eyes open now that you weren't beside him. His eyes immediately found you and he watched you. You had taken the sheet but left him the blanket (always so considerate).

Lukas thought you looked ever so beautiful. Your hair fell down the smooth skin of your back in messy waves but you looked peaceful. You looked ethereal.

"What are you doing up?"

His voice startled you a bit and you turned. You smiled a bit as you glanced back at the window, "It's pretty."

You walked forward and crawled back into bed. You snuggled up against him and he wrapped an arm around you before kissing the top of your head. You shivered a bit.

"You cold?" he stated before, without prompting, he took the blanket that was low on his hips and draped it over you up to your shoulders before pulling you a bit closer to transfer his body heat. "Come here."

It was so considerate and affectionate that it confused you. Was he just being nice because you sex with him? That was probably it.

"Lukas," you said anxiously.

He hummed in acknowledgement.

"You're going up to the top today, right?" you asked. "Can we go now and watch the sun rise?"

He rubbed at his eyes a bit, "You're not tired?"

"No."

"Alright. Yeah," he smiled a bit as he caressed your cheek. "Whatever you want."

And they quickly showered and got dressed before they went to top of the mountain in a helicopter. You had brought your sketchbook with you. You wanted to draw.

At the top, you both sat on a large rock. He sat beside you and wrapped his arm around your waist and his fingers drew circles onto the side of your hip. And they watched the sun rise together.

Lukas watched the look of wonder on your face and he commented in amusement, "You're so fascinated."

"Of course I am."

"But it's not even half as pretty as you," he argued.

"Are you still high?" you asked suspiciously as you blushed.

"No," he chuckled before he leaned in and kissed your cheek softly. "And I still think you're that fucking pretty, Ella. My pretty girl."

Your heart squeezed as you swallowed. He was being so affectionate. You didn't get it. Was it the sex? If it was sex that kept him glued to you, that kept him your Lukas, then you'd let him use your body a million times over just to keep him around.

You didn't care if that made you a whore. You needed Lukas like you needed air. He was the most important thing to you. Without your father, Lukas was the sole gravity that tied you to the Earth. You needed him to want you.

He grabbed your hand and kissed your fingertips, "You should draw. I have to watch this movie your siblings sent in."

You nodded and he went on his phone. You stared at him for a minute, admiring him. He had such pretty eyes in the sunlight. Your heart skipped a beat just staring at him and you were absolutely in love with him even if he wasn't with you.

You swallowed as you turned your head away from him. You began to draw. It included some of the natural landscape but you usually liked to paint a story. You also drew the cliffside and a shadowy figure looking down at the edge, ignoring that beauty in front of them.

You were almost done with it when your brothers arrived. Lukas had removed his arm from you before they saw anything. You continued to draw as they walked off to talk.

"Oh, look at that. You brought our sister," Roman commented.

"Yeah, she's a bit of an artist," Lukas replied. "Have you seen some of her work?"

"No," Kendall said. "No, we haven't."

"Well, you should because she's really fucking talented," Lukas said.

"Uh huh. Yeah. We'll definitely do that," Kendall stated.

Then Lukas started to talk about the deal. He found out the two of them were trying to ruin the deal. Then he called Logan a prick which pissed off Roman.

You didn't know any of this. You only heard Roman ranting angrily with the words you piece of shit as he came down the mountain back to the lift. You raised your eyebrows as Kendall followed after Roman slowly and he called, "Come on, El."

You got up to follow when Lukas called your name. You stopped and looked between Lukas and Kendall. You felt torn. Then you looked at Lukas sadly as you spoke a bit awkwardly considering you couldn't say anything that would allude to you being with Lukas, "Thanks for bringing me up here."

You quickly turned and followed after Kendall. Lukas hardened his eyes at your retreating form. You got onto the lift with your brothers as Lukas flew away in his helicopter. You felt an ache in your chest. But he did not love you, Ella.

"What happened?" you asked.

"Sorry to inform you but Matsson is an asshole," Roman stated.

"But he's always nice to me."

"Oh my god, Ella. He just wants to fuck you. Get it through your head," Roman said before ripping the sketchbook from your hands, tearing it in half, and letting it fall to the floor. "And he doesn't care about your stupid drawings. God, you're so dumb."

"Rome," Kendall warned as tears burned in your eyes.

You stared at the ruined sketchbook and dissociated. You felt numb. No one wanted you. You stayed that way until the gondola got back to the ground. Then you sniffled as your eyes became steely. Once they stepped out where the rest of the Waystar entourage was waiting to hear the news, you spoke. And everyone heard you.

"For your information, Romulus, I already fucked him."

And you stomped off. You didn't care if people knew anymore. It all seemed so pointless because you were sure that your siblings wouldn't even care at all.

On the plane ride home, you laid on the couch. You faced towards the cushions so no one could see your face and they all thought you were asleep. You had silent tears fall down your cheeks. Your siblings seemed to not really care about you and you were sure that you had lost Lukas. He didn't love you anymore. He just wanted sex. You probably lost him when the baby died and at the reminder of that, more tears fell from your eyes.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Sixteen

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen

Warnings: none

When the jet finally landed, it was the first time you had ever been swarmed by the media. You were overwhelmed. Cameras flashed and nearly blinded you.

"Ella! Ella! We hear you were on the plane when your father died. Can you make any comment?"

Their voices were loud as they called your name, trying to get your attention. They all wanted the same thing. You were breathing heavily before your driver, Henry, intervened with a cold tone, "Please, step aside!"

"Miss Ella, come with me," Henry grabbed your wrist and guided you through the crowd to the car.

He opened the car door and you quickly slid inside. He closed it before getting in the driver's seat and taking off slowly as the media swarmed the car, banging on the windows for your opinion. But eventually the car was far and away from the airport and you breathed more calmly.

You were taken to your apartment and you made your way up. Still in your dress, you crawled into bed and laid on top of the covers. You laid there with your heart pounding and the blood rushing in your ears before Lukas called you. It was a FaceTime call this time.

"Are you back home?" he questioned. "That seemed intense."

"Yeah," you stared into space.

You shuffled a bit and could feel the softness of the blankets on your feet. You looked down at your bare feet, surprised. Did you really get off the plane without your shoes? You thought you had put them back on but apparently not.

"I forgot my heels," you said, starting to get up. "I should go back and get them."

"No, Ella," Lukas stated. "Forget the shoes."

"They were my favorite, though."

"I'll buy you new ones."

You frowned but relented. You laid back down. For the rest of evening, you talked to Lukas. He got you talking about random things and some of them even made you laugh. And when you did so for the first time, you had started to cry.

"My father just died. I shouldn't be laughing," you cried. "That's wrong, isn't it?"

"Ella, no," Lukas denied. "Hjärtat, it's okay. It's okay to smile again."

You calmed down a bit but you kept sniffling before you asked, "You'll be at the funeral, right? You'll..."

"I'll be at the funeral," he said softly.

The funeral would probably only be a week later. You could wait to see Lukas until then. You had told him again that you didn't want him to come and see you. You didn't want to do anything that would upset your siblings, make them mad at you, because you couldn't handle that right now. Being with Lukas would make them mad at you. You were sure of it. You didn't like the thought of it.

Lukas wanted to come see you desperately but he was a slave to your wants. And he knew he was terrible with boundaries; he did not want to cross one that would make you mad at him. So he stayed halfway across the world from you.

"Okay," you breathed out and the thought of seeing him seemed to calm you.

You stayed on the phone with him for most of the evening. He got your mind off of what had just happened today. Then you eventually fell asleep with the FaceTime call still running.

_____

The next day was the wake for your father. It was at your father's penthouse. You were a bit late because you woke up late. You were a bit hurt that Lukas had ended the FaceTime call sometime when you were asleep. (You didn't notice that he only ended it about twenty minutes before you woke up.)

You didn't know why you were; it's not like he could be expected to stay up just watching you sleep. You supposed you just wanted him to stay on the line in case you woke up and wanted to talk to him. You didn't really know what you were thinking; your mind was a mess.

You took a shower and quickly got dressed. You put on a black sweater that actually belonged to Lukas and paired it with a mid-length red leather skirt; the sweater was large on you and the red of your skirt was just barely peaking out. Then you wore black booties and you put your hair into a French braid.

When you got there, you were greeted with Marcia. The older woman smiled and held out her arms, "Ella, it is so lovely to see you."

You hugged Marcia and she gave you reassuring smile as you pulled away, "It will get better, you know."

"Thank you," you formed a small smile and went on your way.

There was a bunch of condolences from people you didn't know. They patted your shoulder as you went past. You didn't see Connor but you found your three siblings sitting privately in one of the rooms.

You opened the door full of little glass windows to see them. You smiled slightly as you fumbled with the long sleeves that completely covered your hands, "Hi, guys."

"Ella," Kendall scolded. "Not right now."

You frowned, a bit hurt, before you looked at the phone on the table, "Oh. Sorry."

There were some mutterings on the phone before you heard a voice you recognized. Oskar.

"Lukas would actually like to talk to your sister," Oskar addressed. "He says he can talk to her."

"Oh, so his busy schedule just cleared up?" Shiv rolled her eyes.

"Well, he only has time to talk to one person he says and he'd like it to be her," Oskar argued.

"Really? Our little sister?" Roman questioned as three of them shared a look. Kendall looked at you before nodding.

"Alright. Yeah. Sure, man," Kendall agreed and Roman handed you the phone. You panicked a little bit as you pulled your sleeve up a bit so you could actually grab it.

You took it and you put it off speakerphone. Then you spoke, "Hi, Oskar."

"Ella," it was Lukas.

"Oh," you swallowed at the stares of your siblings. "Hey."

"How do you feel? Are you alright?" he worried.

"For now. Yes."

"Good. That's good," he said nervously and it was silent for a moment; you could tell he was debating questioning you about something. "Could I ask you to do something for me?"

"What?"

"Your father passing means the board is picking a new CEO."

"And?"

"And I think it would be very nice if that was my girl," you could tell he was grinning. "Very appealing."

You were a silent for a moment as you debated the thought in your head. Would that make him happy? But it would make your siblings mad and, most importantly, you did not want it.

He continued to persuade as you stayed silent, "You have experience. There's no reason it can't be you. Everyone fucking loves you..."

"No."

"No?"

"No, that doesn't work. I don't want to," you denied.

"Ella..."

"No," and you hung up.

You handed Roman the phone. You were silent and Kendall probed, "And? What did he say, El?"

"He wanted me to be CEO," you did not lie.

"You? CEO? Why?" Shiv asked.

You shrugged.

"Nice to know Lukas still definitely has a thing for you," Roman gained a smug look.

You shuffled a bit awkwardly and denied, "No."

"Ellie, come on," Shiv smiled. "He definitely has a crush on you."

"I don't want to talk about it," you replied.

"Yeah, can we not?" Kendall frowned. "It's disgusting."

You frowned. Was it disgusting for you to be loved? But then again you didn't really know if Lukas still loved you; he hadn't said it. You hoped he did. You wanted him to.

_____

Later on, Kendall, Roman, and Shiv needed to discuss the board vote privately. You were with Connor and you hugged him tightly, "I'm so sorry. Do you hate me?"

"Hate you? Why on Earth would I hate you, kid?"

"Well...I didn't go to your wedding. I've never missed anything so big and it's completely terrible. I'm terrible," you declared.

"You are far from terrible, Ellie," Connor argued. "And I forgive you. If anything, I'm more concerned about you and how you're doing."

"About me?"

"You were on the plane, Ellie. You saw it happen," Connor clarified. "Of course, I'm concerned. I'm your eldest brother and I want you to know that I love you, alright?"

"I...I love you, too, Con," she smiled a bit, feeling a small amount of joy that someone said it. "And I'm alright for now."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Yes. I'm better now than yesterday," you stated.

"Okay," he squeezed your shoulder affectionately before he spoke softly. "You know, Pop, was complicated, Ellie. But you know he loved you, right?"

You swallowed and nodded, "I know."

You only half believed it. It was a hard pill to swallow. You struggled with any form of love you received. You felt like you weren't worthy. Ella, the Unworthy. You had always been ignored and it caused you to believe that love wasn't something you were good enough for. And you weren't sure you would ever believe that you were.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Fifteen

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen

Warnings: death of a character, sadness, reader has zero self-esteem

You had planned to attend the wedding of your brother to his bride, Willa. You never missed an event for one of your siblings, especially, one as important as a wedding. You thought it would be wrong not to attend.

You had even gotten all dressed up and were in a yellow floor-length velvet gown that had long sleeves and a Queen Anne neckline. It had diamond studs on the shoulders and you wore a diamond choker around your neck. You thought you looked pretty but you weren't sure. Perhaps it was your imagination.

But right when you had been going to leave to attend said wedding, your father came to see you. He convinced you not to go. He wanted you to come with him to Sweden to see Matsson...Lukas.

"But what about Con?" you questioned sadly.

"Oh, he'll forgive you. You know Connor. He knows how important it is that this deal goes through," he gestured away with his hand before placing a hand on your shoulder with a small grin. "So what do you say, Ellie? You gonna help out your old man?"

"I...." you hesitated before faking a smile. "Of course, Daddy."

You couldn't help but say yes to your father; it felt like he saw you (but he was always an expert at making you feel that way when he needed you). So here you were in the limo sitting across from your father and Kerry. And you were still in your gown for the wedding. Your father said it'd be better if you wore it so you did.

You felt nervous. You were going to see Lukas while on a little mission with your father. You weren't sure how you were going to keep your cool when you saw him. You felt like you might break down and hug him to death right in front of your dad. You swallowed at the thought.

You pulled at the choker you wore and your father questioned, "You're not getting cold feet, are you?"

"No," you stated and quickly placed your hands in your lap, focusing on keeping them still.

"Good," he smiled. "You'll do great, Ellie."

You merely nodded. You wondered why he wanted you to come along. But then you supposed it was clear: because you were close with Lukas. Yet he had no idea just how close you were with Lukas.

You took a deep breath as the limo arrived at the airport. Your father and Kerry got out first and then you did. Tom blinked in surprise as he noticed you before he held out his hand, "Here, let me help you."

You grabbed it and stepped out of the limo. You fixed your dress as you smiled politely, "Thank you."

Then you followed after your father along with everyone else. You were given strange looks by everyone, staring at your gown. You smiled tightly at everyone regardless and even hugged Frank because you hadn't seen him in a while before sitting down on the couch against the side of the jet.

And once the plane took off, everything went to Hell.

_____

You were staring at the floor. Your knees were pressed to your chest and you were staring at the floor inside the jet. You had dissociated from all the sounds and the chaos...and the death.

"Yes, your sister is here," Tom spoke on the phone to your siblings.

They wanted to speak to you. They wanted to hear it from your own lips. They trusted you. They wanted you to explain it.

"Your sister isn't available to speak currently. She isn't...well at the moment," Tom stated.

"What do you mean she's not well? We're all not well. Just put her on, Tom," Shiv demanded.

Tom hesitated before he approached you and crouched down, handing the phone out, "Ella, would you like to speak to your siblings?"

Your eyes glanced at him before going back to the ground. You shook your head. He placed the phone back on his ear, "She doesn't want to speak, Shiv."

One by one, the siblings said goodbye to their father as Tom held the phone near Logan. But not you. Once he was off the phone, Tom approached you again.

"Ella," he crouched down. "Do you want to say anything to him? I can say it for you if you would like."

You shook your head as you muttered, "He knows."

Then you glanced from the floor to the body of your father. They were still doing CPR and he was just...lying there. There was no response.

You started to cry finally as you panicked, "Did I hug him today? Did you see me hug him? I don't think I hugged him..."

You were sucking in breaths as you sobbed violently. You started to hiccup as you did so. The chaos finally caved in on you. Your father was gone. He was not coming back.

Tom reached up and rubbed your arms as he lied to you to give you comfort, "You did hug him, Ella. I saw it. Everyone saw it."

"You hugged him, kid," Frank chimed in with sorrowful eyes towards you. You had always been his favorite; you were the sweetest.

You had started to calm at their words. You still hiccuped, though. You sniffled as Tom asked, "Do you want to come to the back? Then you don't have to watch anymore."

You shook your head. You didn't want to be alone. You knew from experience that being alone was the worst Hell in the world; even worse than death itself. Because being alone you drowned in your own horrid thoughts but at least death saved everyone from that. There were no more thoughts in death and you realized you'd never really know if your father loved you.

You thought he did. You supposed it was enough that you loved him. You supposed you'd have to make do with that. You knew that you gave him all the love you could, all the love a daughter could give and you were at peace with that.

You thought that his death would've torn you apart. And it did in a way. It hurt and you felt an ache in your chest but your world did not turn upside down. You did not want to die like you expected to. Because you were no longer made complete by how he thought of you. That had changed in the past few months.

Your world spun around a different person now. Lukas. The mere thought of him made you ache less.

"Are we still going to Sweden?" you blurted out.

Tom could not help the chuckle he let out at you thinking that they'd cart your father's dead body all the way to Sweden before he replied, "No, Ella. We will not be going to Sweden."

"Oh."

"On the topic of Sweden, someone needs to tell Matsson," Carolina pointed out. "Ella, you have a working relationship with him, don't you? It'd probably be best that it comes from you."

You hesitated before you nodded. You went to the back in the private bedroom before you called him. The dialing tone felt like hours as you held the phone tightly to your ear but then he picked up.

"Hey," you could he was smiling. "I thought you were going to send me a photo of the dress you were wearing? I bet you look even prettier than the bride again."

You chuckled a bit as some fresh tears fell down your face. You were definitely not pretty now with mascara running down your face. You were a mess now.

"Lukas," you said quietly and it took you couple of moments before you revealed. "My dad died."

"He died here on the plane," you somehow felt the need to clarify. "We're still on the plane."

"Jesus. Fuck, Ella," he said in concern. "Are you fucking okay? Do you want me to fly to New York? I'll come see you..."

"It's okay, Lukas. You don't have to," you reassured.

You didn't want him to sacrifice for you. You were sure he didn't really want to. He just pitied you. That was all. Maybe he still felt some care for you as a force of habit but Lukas was starting to move on from you. You were sure of it. You wouldn't be the girl that held him back even if it'd kill you inside.

A sense of numbness settled over you again.

"But, Ella..."

"It's okay," you said again, even smiling as you spoke. Yes, everything was perfectly okay.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Twelve

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

Warnings: miscarriage, brief mention of depressive/suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem issues

The brunt of the damage was on your side of the car. Lukas came to almost immediately. He had a piece of glass lodged in his shoulder but he didn't care about that. He saw you passed out against the seat almost like you were sleeping but there was so much blood that covered the side of your face.

Fear struck him in the chest so hard as he was acutely reminded of how he found his father, dead in the car with his brains splattered on the ceiling. He immediately moved and grabbed you, cradling your face so gently as he called frantically.

"Ella. Ella. Hjärtat. Open your eyes. Open your eyes for me," he said as he started to panic. He started to cry and he mumbled in Swedish. "Lämne mig inte."

Don't leave me.

______

When you woke, your head hurt fiercely. You started to blink your eyes open. You felt someone rubbing the back of your palm with their thumb back and forth ever so slowly.

You found that it was Lukas as your eyes took in their surroundings which resembled a hospital room. It made you smile a bit as you began to wake; made you feel warm.

"Hi," you muttered softly, content as you gazed at him.

His eyes immediately snapped to yours as he froze, "Ella."

When you were brought in last night, they had assured him you'd be fine. You had head trauma but they said you'd be okay. But it felt scary waiting for you to wake up even if it was just a couple of hours.

"What happened?" you asked.

"It was a car accident."

It had been a drunk driver. Lukas was so livid at the thought that you could've been taken from him. He only had a flesh wound and you had head trauma. He didn't want you to ever know pain but here they were. He planned to sue the driver into oblivion or something; maybe make sure they never drove again. He had his lawyers handling it.

You formed a small smile, "It seems like we're fine, though."

You placed your hand over your stomach and he felt dread as he had to force the words out of his mouth, "Ella...You lost the baby."

"Oh," your free hand retreated from your stomach.

You were silent for a moment and you felt Lukas kiss the fingertips of your hand that he held. He kept rubbing his thumb back and forth over the back of your palm.

"I suppose it's a good thing," you sniffled and blinked your tears away. "It's not like I'd be a great mother anyways."

Lukas couldn't believe the words that came out of your mouth before he argued softly, "Ella, that's...that's ridiculous. You'd be an amazing mother...."

You cut him off, not wanting to talk about it, as you inspected him, "You are okay, right?"

You saw a bandage sticking out from his shirt on his shoulder. You reached for it, removing your hand from his as you did so. You ran your fingers lightly over the edge.

"It's just a flesh wound. It's fine."

You hummed, seemingly content, before a nurse came in. And then a whole bunch of doctors came in to check you over for a long while.

_____

"Your, um, family knows," Lukas informed once the doctors left you alone. "They're flying in."

"Oh."

That seemed to be the only word you'd been able to say. And you kept staring off all detached. He kept having to get your attention.

"You should go then," you blurted out. "They'll have questions if you're here and I don't feel like answering them. My head hurts."

It'd be like World War III if your family found out about you and Lukas. You didn't have the energy to deal with it.

"Are you sure? Ella, I can stay," he stated. "Let me stay."

"I'm sure," you stated, staring forward and not at him.

He stood up and leaned over the bed, kissing your cheek for a long moment ever so delicately before he uttered, "I'll see you soon, alright? Tomorrow, okay?"

You barely nodded and he hesitated before he left. You kept staring at the wall not even registering that he was gone or that he'd said goodbye to you and you called out suddenly, thinking he was just about to leave, "Lukas."

You turned your head to the chair that he had been in to find him gone. A tear fell down your cheek before you wiped it away. You felt like your chest was about to cave in and you pulled your legs to your chest as you took deep breaths.

You focused on blowing out the bad thoughts. The bad thoughts. By the time you were done, you'd made yourself numb again.

_____

Your family finally got there. Your siblings got there first. They all hugged you. Well, Roman did like a half hug. He seemed to not like hugs. You didn't get it.

"How are you doing? Feeling a bit better?" Connor asked.

"I'm fine."

"You had us really worried, Ellie," Shiv frowned.

"Yeah. We were all really worried, El," Kendall said.

"Shivvie was definitely freaking out. Shed a few tears on the plane," Roman teased.

"Shut up, Rome."

That made you smile a bit. But then Shiv frowned as she noticed the scar on your arm. She grabbed it and asked, "What is this? This doesn't look like it's from the accident?"

You jerked your arm away. You barely ever thought about your scar now as Lukas made you feel accepted. You realized that your siblings had never seen it.

"Fishing trip with Uncle Ewan," you lied.

"Right," Kendall said skeptically. "A fishing trip."

Shiv and Kendall exchanged looks. Roman just stared at the scar with a little frown. Connor was the one who spoke with a reassuring smile, "You know we're always here for you, Ellie."

He patted your shoulder, "Whenever you need us."

You just nodded.

____

Your father showed up after them. There seemed to be a cold standoff between three of your siblings and him but they seemed to call a truce with their eyes today. They all left you alone to talk to Logan.

"Hi, Daddy," you smiled a bit.

"Ellie," he hugged you.

You were a bit surprised. But then he let you go and sat down. He looked at you with soft eyes, "How are you doing, kiddo?"

"I'm okay."

He hummed like he didn't believe you as he analyzed you with his cold blue eyes. You thought sometimes he could see right through you. You weren't sure.

"The hospital. I didn't like it when I was in it," he commented. "The doctors want to keep you overnight but how about tomorrow we get you back to New York?"

"You want me to come home? But what about work in London?"

"I should have never have put you there. You should be home where you belong," Logan said. "How does that sound?"

"I'd...I'd like to go home." You'd like to see Lukas. You clenched your jaw to keep from crying. People lost babies all the time. It was nothing to cry about; Lukas wouldn't want you if you cried. You were sure of it.

"Good, good," Logan smiled.

"Heard it was a drunk driver," he said before he patted your hand. "He'll be dealt with."

You could only nod and try not to fall apart as you did so.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Ten

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Warnings: unplanned pregnancy

You couldn't believe you were actually dating him. You thought it would change things. Well, Lukas would stand to attention now whenever he was with a group of people and you entered the room like the mere presence of you drew him to his feet like gravity (and you would run forward excitedly and hug him without a care in the world). But really besides kissing each other now, the two of you mainly did the same things.

It made you realize how much the two of you had already acted like a couple. You'd already been holding his hand, eating dinner with him, sleeping in the same bed, etc. It made you realize that the two of you were always more than just friends. You didn't think you could ever even be just friends with Lukas anymore; that time had passed.

But now that kissing was an option, the both of you took full advantage. You were surprised by how much you liked it. You liked how he held your cheek ever so gently like he was cradling you and you felt the world slip away when you kissed him. Nothing else mattered but Lukas when his lips mets yours.

You wondered if he liked it as much as you did. You thought he did. Because now when you two went out to eat, he'd often pull you into the booth to sit right beside him instead of across. And he'd wrap an arm around your shoulders before making out with you; the two of you did that until the food came.

The two of you were insatiable. You wondered with all this kissing in public that people would find out. But the media was not intense at all in Sweden and no paparazzi had ever followed you around; you were the least interesting Roy so you could get away with kissing him in a restaurant without it getting back to the States.

You had been adamant with Lukas that you wanted their relationship kept secret until the deal went through. He had argued with you about it but you got your way.

"I don't want my family to know yet...that I'm dating you," you had started to smile just saying that you were dating him.

"Why not?"

"I know my siblings won't like it but I don't know how my father will react," you explained. "What if he ends the deal because of us?"

"Then he can end the deal. I don't give a fuck," he argued.

"Yes, you will. You'll be mad at me," you replied.

"I'd never be fucking mad at you. You're being ridiculous," he said. "Let's just tell them."

"No," you huffed, going cold and turning on your side in bed away from him. You grabbed a book off the nightstand and started to read it, ignoring him.

Lukas gained pointed eyes. You were so damn stubborn. You could not be persuaded when you got like this. It reminded him acutely of your father and the cold persona. He wondered if you knew how alike the two of you were.

He sighed and he didn't see you start to smile as you heard it.

"Fine," he relented. "I'll be a fucking secret. I don't like it but whatever."

You turned back to him with a wide grin once you got your way before pecking him on the lips, "Thank you."

And you huddled closer to him, snuggling your head against his chest as you muttered, "Love you."

He shook his head at how his frustration completely melted away. He wrapped his arms around you before kissing the top of your head softly.

And you did have this paranoid fear that Lukas would be mad at you. Your father would be livid over the two of you and break off the deal. You were sure of it. And Lukas would resent you for it no matter what he said. You couldn't handle that. You couldn't handle losing Lukas; the mere thought of it made you feel panic.

But Lukas agreed and it was kept secret. No one knew you were dating Lukas. Well, besides a couple of people at Gojo like Oskar but you trusted them. But then apparently his mother had found out and came to Stockholm.

You had been in bed with Lukas one morning. The two of you were kissing lazily when he got a text. He checked it and his immediate response was an expletive.

"Fuck."

"What is it?" you caressed his cheek in worry.

"It's, uh...my mother is here. Right now."

"Oh. Do you want me to meet her?" you questioned.

"No," he exclaimed immediately which made your eyes widen. "Just stay here. She'll...she'll get into you. I don't want her to hurt you."

"Okay," you frowned a bit but he kissed you quickly which made you smile a bit.

Then he scrambled out of bed and quickly put on his clothes. He left you in bed and you decided to get up to take a bubble bath. Since he wanted you to stay in the room, you decided to use his en-suite to take a long, relaxing bath.

His mother must've left before you were done because Lukas entered and he formed a small grin at the peaceful look on your face, "You look like you're about to fall asleep."

"It feels nice," you hummed before you glanced at him. "How did things go with your mother?"

"Annoying," he stated as he leaned against the bathroom counter with his hands in his hoodie.

His mother had a million questions about you. She couldn't stop pestering him. But he did not tell her your age. How young you were. He knew that once his mother learned that little tidbit that she would not like you. She would say something to hurt you and he refused to let that happen.

You grinned a bit, "She can't be that bad."

"She's bad."

You chuckled a bit before sighing and standing up out of the tub. You were surprised when Lukas moved into action and grabbed your towel before wrapping it around you as you stepped out. You gave him a small smile as you pulled the towel tighter around you.

He gazed at you intensely before he called, "Ella."

You hummed absentmindedly as you dried the ends of your hair with another towel. His silence made you look up in question.

He swallowed, "It's, uh, nothing. Forget it."

You furrowed your eyebrows but nevertheless agreed, "Okay."

And life moved forward with you dating Lukas. Two weeks had passed since you first began dating and the thought still made you giddy. It made you blush and smile. You were happy whenever you thought of Lukas or were with Lukas. It was like Lukas contained all the dopamine that was supposed to be in your brain.

But neither of you had been able to visit for a week. You had started to feel sick. You were throwing up in the mornings and you just felt like crap all day. You barely had the energy to talk to Lukas. You had told him you were sick and he had sweetly sent you flowers along with your favorite set of chocolates.

But something else had started to occur as well. Your breasts started to ache. You didn't think anything of it until you massaged them one day to try to relieve it when the realization of what it all meant came to you in an instant.

You felt dread as you thought about it. But you had to be sure. So you went and picked up three separate tests and took all of them. They were all positive.

You were pregnant.

Even though it was nighttime, you had immediately booked it to the airport. You had your assistant cancel everything for tomorrow before you boarded your jet to go see Lukas. On the plane ride, you were researching pregnancy on your phone. You felt overwhelmed.

Lukas knew you were coming. You had texted him and said you needed a car to pick you up. He was surprised that you were coming in the middle of the night but he wasn't going to complain. He just gave you what you needed.

When you got there, he questioned with a small grin, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

You didn't even answer. You just grabbed him, making him hunch over before you kissed him. You needed to kiss him right now and feel reassured. You needed to feel like it was them against the world.

When you had calmed enough, you let him go and he breathed heavily, "Wow. Fuck."

He grinned, "So you really missed me?"

"We need to talk, Lukas," you said and your voice was grim.

"Okay," he said slowly, feeling whiplash.

You brought him to the living room. He sat on the couch while you paced the floors back and forth. You felt like you couldn't say it. You were too nervous.

"It's...it's a guy, isn't it?" Lukas believed the worst. "You found someone else, didn't you? If you're gonna leave, just fucking say it."

"What? No," you immediately halted at the accusation. "I'd never leave you."

"Then..."

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh," his eyes widened before he bit his lip with a grin.

You started to pace again as you rambled, "I researched on the plane and the pill is only 99% effective. You probably didn't know that."

"But I'm pregnant now through a 1% chance. I mean, that's crazy. At first, I thought, that I was too young to be pregnant. But then I learned that the advanced maternal age is 35. Did you know that? And then I thought, you know, that I'm not too young at all. And that it's okay because I'm having a baby with the love of my life. I always wanted to have a lot of babies, too..."

"Did you just call me the love of your life?" Lukas was smiling.

"What else would you be?" you furrowed your eyebrows. "I'd never want to be with anyone else."

"Never?"

"Never," you said before you approached him and then straddled him on the couch. "So do you want a baby?"

"With you, yes."

You blushed and smiled before he placed a hand over your stomach, "You're sure you're pregnant?"

"I took three tests. Yes."

"Three?"

"Yes, three. What if the first two had been false positives?"

He smiled in amusement at your paranoid thoughts before he asked, "And this, uh, future with a lot of babies. How many are we talking about?"

"I don't know. Maybe five. Maybe more," you mused before you smiled. "As many babies as you want to give me."

You never really knew why you always pictured yourself with a lot of kids. You supposed that you always thought that bigger families seemed happier in your head. If there were more kids, there was more love and you wanted a lot of love in your life.

"But do you want a lot of kids though?" you frowned as you worried he wouldn't want what you wanted.

"I want whatever you want, Ella," he promised. "Whatever you fucking want. It's yours."

You covered his mouth with your hand, "You really need to work on the language with a kid on the way."

He took your hand and kissed your fingertips as he spoke softly, "Ja."

You smiled happily before you muttered, "I love you."

And then you stole his breath when you kissed him again. Your fingers threaded through his soft blond hair and his hands crawled over you. His lips felt scalding on yours and even more so when they moved to your neck, creating hickeys. You tilted your head up to give him more access before he started to lift your shirt up. You lifted your arms to help him peel it off of you and you were left in your bra. And that night the two of you repeated the same act that got you in trouble in the first place.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Nine

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine

Warnings: smut (18+), reader is in deep denial

You thought your detox from Lukas was going well. You didn't have sex with him...for two weeks. You had convinced yourself that it was sex you had gotten attached to, the benefits and not Lukas himself. So you completely ignored the way you smiled instantly each time he called you or texted you. You did not have feelings for Lukas. You did not.

Whenever he visited, you were good. You kept to your rule. You placated Lukas by giving him a blowjob but you didn't have actual sex with him. But after two weeks of not feeling him inside you, you were starting to feel...desperate.

You kept pushing down the feeling. But then you decided it was normal to want sex. So you bought a dildo and tried it out. It did not satiate you. It wasn't real and you felt like you needed a physical body. You needed a connection. There was just no feelings involved and it killed any pleasure you felt.

You wondered if there was something wrong with you in that regard. You had never been able to get off when you touched yourself either because you had started to do that as well. But everything did nothing. You just kept thinking of Lukas and how happy he made you. It made you want him more.

And after two weeks, Lukas came to visit you. Lukas went to throw something away but you remembered that you had thrown the dildo away in the trash. You practically leaped in front of him and grabbed the food wrapper he went to throw away.

"I can do that!" you panicked as you ripped it away violently from him and barely opened the trash can to stuff the wrapper into it.

There was no way he saw anything and you felt a bit proud. But then you realized the position you had put yourself in. You had squeezed yourself between him and the kitchen counter. And you felt him pressed up against you including the growing erection against your ass. You swallowed.

You ever so slowly turned your head to the side. Then you hesitated before you glanced at him. It took only one look into his heated blue-eyed gaze before you relapsed.

With that one look, it was like they spoke in silent tongues. It was ever so obvious what they were saying. I want you. And things escalated so rapidly as they moved in tandem.

You were pushing down your skirt and he was pushing down his pants. You were both fumbling with your clothes so quickly. You didn't even remove your underwear. He just bent you over and moved them to the side before pushing into you.

And you let him fuck you that day. You couldn't help it. It was like a need. You reasoned that it was okay to relapse. Every addict relapsed at least once, right?

_____

But then it happened again. It was only a day later and it happened. It was at a club. You were at the bar getting another drink when a tall, handsome man (your own age) sidled up next to you as he announced, "Whatever drink you want, it's on me, beautiful."

"Oh," your eyes widened as this man sidled up really close to you before you smiled not realizing what this man wanted. "That's really nice. Thank you."

Lukas suddenly appeared, placing his hand on the small of your back, and smiled cruelly, "Find a different girl to give your fucking charity to, ja?"

Your eyes widened and you were going to chastise him for being rude. The man stepped back, lifting his hands, "Sorry, man."

Before you could say anything, Lukas whisked you away. He was rushing quickly like a man starved and you were forced to follow with his arm around your waist. Then finally Lukas pulled you into a single-stall bathroom and locked the door. As soon as the door closed, he pushed you up against it.

"Lukas, what are you..."

All words died once you felt his hand between your legs under your dress. He started circling your clit through the thin cloth on your underwear. You let out a gasp. And he played with it ever so slowly. It was torture as he built you up.

Nearing your peak, he commanded, "Tell me to fuck you."

You stared at him desperately as his fingers stopped. You hesitated to say it. The rule lingered in your brain but you needed him like you needed water. You nodded.

"Please," you muttered. "Please have sex with me."

The effect was instant. He pushed your panties down to the floor and you stepped out of them. He hiked your skin-tight dress up to your chest, revealing your breasts. You weren't wearing a bra and they hardened as they were exposed to the cold air and his gaze.

Then he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around him. He took your arms and placed them above your head, pinning them there with one hand. With the other hand, he pulled his dick out. He stroked it for a moment before lining himself up and sliding into you, slow and steady.

Just when you thought he'd move, he stayed still. You tried to rock your hips against him but his own kept yours pinned. You were confused and you gave him a pout. But his gaze was steady on yours; his blue eyes were all stormy and dark. You couldn't tell what he wanted from you.

"Tell me you're mine, Ella," he uttered.

Despite being desperate, you were being honest, "I'm yours, Lukas. I'm all yours."

And then he fucked you against the door of a public bathroom so completely you felt as if you'd gone to another dimension. When he was done with you, he had filled you with so much of his cum that it was dripping between your legs and onto the floor. His mouth attached itself to one of your breasts as you panted, coming down from the high. He worshipped you.

And you felt like a such a whore with your panties gone and your tits out as he used your body for all it was worth. There was also the fact that you wanted him again. You felt an ache between your legs like he left the imprint of his cock inside you and you couldn't help but want him to fill you again to remove that ache, that need.

It was why you attacked him again in the limo on the way home. And then again when they got to your apartment; they didn't even make it to the bedroom. They barely made it inside the door as you had glued yourself to him in the elevator.

You were now laid on the floor of your apartment right inside the door. You panted after he had his way with you. Again.

"I can't believe we fucked on the floor," you commented.

He chuckled before he teased, "Such naughty language, princess."

You blushed and began to think this detox was harder than you thought.

_____

You relapsed one more time. You had woken up one morning with Lukas. You had woken up first with your back pressed against his chest. You could feel his morning wood poking into your ass and you bit your lip before you rubbed your ass slowly against the bulge.

You heard him let out a small groan. You quickly closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep. You wiggled your ass just slightly to make him think you were just moving in your sleep and he grunted. You did it again and he let out a groan, "Ella."

You couldn't help but grin at his frustration. He had propped himself up with his elbow and he looked down at you to see that smile. He blinked in surprise before he started to tickle you, "You are such a fucking tease."

You giggled as you opened your eyes, "No, Lukas!"

You squirmed in his hold as you laughed. You ended up on your back with him hovering over you before he stopped. You slightly panted but you both shared soft smiles. And Lukas was gazing down at you before he caressed your cheek ever so gently.

You were transfixed before he placed a lingering kiss on your cheek. Then a kiss on your jaw, on your neck, on your collarbone. Then you were removing the sleep shirt you wore and it had turned into sex.

But it was different this time. His thrusts were soft and slow and it felt like he was making love to you. You were in ecstasy over it. And right after you came, so did he. It was like the two of you were in sync with each other.

Then he did something he had never done before. He kissed you. It wasn't on your cheek or on your jaw or on your neck, it was on your lips.

You were frozen against him before you panicked. You quickly moved out from under him and sat on the edge of the bed, putting your shirt back on. You breathed out, "You can't do that, Lukas."

"So I can fuck you but I can't kiss you?" he argued.

"No, you can't. Because we're just..." you denied before your voice dipped down to almost a whisper. "...casual."

He clenched his jaw, "Right."

You glanced at him. His eyes were a bit pointed and his jaw was tight. He couldn't be hurt, could he? You must've been imagining things.

_____

Only a week later, you were in Sweden. Lukas had been encouraging you to submit your art pieces to galleries. You finally did to one in New York. You got the call that it was accepted when you were lounging at his house while he was at work. You had booked it over to the high-rise in excitement.

"Lukas," you called excitedly as you rushed into his office that always had all the blinds down because he liked his privacy; he absolutely hated being watched. "They accepted it. You were right..."

Your rambling halted as you realized he was on the phone and you frowned, "Sorry."

He held up a finger signaling you to wait before he called, "Oskar!"

Oskar came rushing into the room and Lukas handed him the phone, "Finish this call."

Lukas directed Oskar with a few words in Swedish. Then Oskar was leaving the office as he started to talk to whoever it was on the phone call.

"You didn't have to do that," you stated nervously. "I could've waited."

"No," he disagreed with a grin as he leaned against his desk. "No, you're too pretty to be made to wait."

"Lukas," you blushed as you chastised.

He chuckled before he switched topics, "So what were you saying when you came in?"

You immediately beamed and practically attacked him in a hug as you ran to him, "My art piece got accepted!"

He held onto you as you hugged him with yours arms wrapped around his neck. Your feet were dangling and he didn't let go of you as he smiled with his lips against the side of your head, "I told you."

You blushed again, "I know."

You held onto him for a long moment. You were happy. You didn't want to let go. Something about being in his arms felt right and perhaps that's why when you started to pull away, you pecked him on the lips.

Your eyes widened and you pushed away from him, dropping to your feet as you avoided his gaze, "Sorry. I'm sorry. We're casual and I shouldn't..."

"We don't have to be," he stated so simply and your words halted.

He stepped closer to you, looking down at you intensely as he pleaded with you, "Ella, I want to be able to kiss you. Let me kiss you."

You took deep breaths as your heart raced. You avoided his eyes and instead chose to stare at his chest. It took a long moment before you were able to speak; he had rendered you absolutely speechless. The hope that ballooned in your chest was too much; you didn't want to speak on it and have it be crushed.

"But...don't you want to kiss Ebba, though?" you questioned and you heard him mutter what but you kept on rambling. "You wouldn't want to kiss me anyways because I'd be bad at it and..."

He tilted your head up to look at him which made you pause and he was grinning in amusement, "You're being silly."

"I'm not."

"You are," he argued. "Ella, I want you to be mine. Do you get that? I don't fucking care about anyone else. Certainly not fucking Ebba. Just you. Only you. But I need you to tell me what you want?"

You swallowed before you spoke, "If I let you kiss me, we'd have to be dating. You'd have to date me...."

You avoided his eyes again as you fumbled with your hands and started to ramble, "You probably don't want to do that. It'd be understandable. I mean..."

"Yes. Done. Deal," Lukas interrupted eagerly before he placed his hands on your cheeks and kissed you.

It took you a moment before you let your eyes flutter close. And you really let him kiss you this time. Your lips molded with his slowly and the butterflies you felt were like a whole damn zoo. Each kiss was a long, deep kiss that had you holding your breath and by the time he was done with you, you were breathing heavily and your lips tingled. It was like his lips were the match that lit fireworks in your veins.

And you were a bit dizzy. You had fisted his shirt in your hands to keep yourself steady. You felt like your legs were going to collapse. It was like you were starting to melt when he kissed you.

He let you breathe as he pressed his forehead against yours. His arms were wrapped around you and one of his hands played with the strands of your hair as you recovered. You ran your palms up his chest before wrapping your arms around his neck.

You breathed, "I have conditions, you know."

He smiled in amusement, "Okay. Hit me."

"We're exclusive," you pressed as you stared into his eyes.

He nodded, agreeing, "And?"

"Well, I guess it was just the one," you blushed a little bit.

He chuckled before he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around him. He brought you to his desk and set you down on the edge.

You smiled as you blurted out your thoughts as they came to you, "This is so nice now. I don't have to go on my detox from you anymore. That made me really sad."

"Your what?"

Your eyes widened a bit but you quickly placed your hands on his cheeks and silenced any questions with a kiss. The two of you continued to kiss until his next meeting and then he took you home where he kissed you senseless for the whole entire day.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Eight

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight Warnings: smut (18+)

You woke up in his bed. You barely even slept mostly because the two of you wouldn't stop like bunnies. But you were awake now and you were pressed up against his side as he slept soundly with an arm wrapped around you tightly.

You couldn't stop staring at him. You didn't want to look away. You felt irrevocably attached to him and even more attracted to him than you were before. You ran your fingers lightly over the scratch marks on the sides of his hips.

You left your fair share of marks on him. Your nails had scraped his skin so many times and you had mumbled sorry consistently. Then there was the bite mark on his shoulder; you had been kissing the skin there and then when an orgasm hit you, you just...bit down. You didn't know what came over you and why you had the urge to do so. You supposed because some part of your brain wanted someone to be yours just as much as you were theirs. But Lukas was not yours.

Your mind quickly scrambled away from that thought as you thought of all the marks Lukas left on you. You were covered in hickeys and the shape of handprints were imprinted onto your thighs. You were covered in traces of him...and you liked it. It felt like physical evidence that you mattered; and with the way you remembered his lips touching your skin, you felt scorched and on fire. Alive. You mattered.

As you ran your fingers over the scratch marks again, he stirred and a small chuckle escaped him. He immediately grabbed your hand as he blinked his eyes open with a small sheepish grin, "That tickles."

"Sorry," you mumbled.

His bright blue haunting eyes were on you now and you felt butterflies. You couldn't help but press a kiss to his chest over his heart. He turned onto his side to face you. His fingers caressed the skin of your cheek before he leaned over slightly to place a lingering kiss on your forehead. Then he just stayed running his thumb over your cheek and you huddled a bit closer to him even though you were already pressed against him.

"Lukas," you called after a few peaceful moments.

He hummed in response.

You hesitated before you asked, "This is casual, right? So...we can do this again?"

He stared at you for a moment and his thumb paused. Casual. He didn't like it but he would take what he could get from you.

He sighed, "Yes."

You grinned a little bit and he felt...warm. It was a whole body thing like every cell in his body finally felt the sun for the first time. It happened every time you smiled at him when he did something to make you happy. You were absolutely fucking him up.

Then you bit your lip as your smile turned mischievous. You hiked your leg up over his hip to press your mound against his bulge.

"Ella," he uttered in a strained tone.

"Can we do it again then?" you asked and you started to rub yourself against him. "Please."

"Yes. Fuck," he groaned a bit before reaching between them to line himself up with your entrance and sliding into you. You moaned as he filled you up. He then placed his hand behind you on the bed to steady himself as he started to fuck you, thrusting into you with reckless abandon.

Your eyes got this glazed over look just by him entering you. He was spurned on by it. He was honestly confused how it didn't hurt for you. Every other woman he'd been with hadn't ever been able to take him for too long because it hurt too much but here you were, begging him to keep fucking you.

He kissed you then on the corner of your mouth. He did it repeatedly in the night. It was something you didn't read into; it allowed you to still believe it was casual. But it satiated him to just get a small taste of your lips.

He wondered if it would be your first kiss when he would ever get to kiss you. It turned him on that you hadn't been touched ever by anyone else. You only knew his hands and his lips and that perfect little virgin hole only knew his dick. You were his. All his. He'd never let you go now. He'd never let anyone else fuck you.

Just thought of anyone else knowing what you felt like made him sick to his stomach. Or even knowing all the little sounds you made. How you cried. And you were so pretty when you cried, moaning his name as tears fell down you cheeks. Yes, you were his now. You were his Ella. He wanted you to be his. He needed you to be.

______

Your father was hosting a networking event at his penthouse in New York. It involved a whole host of top leaders across multiple industries. Your father did it every year. It always seemed to you like a bunch of guys getting together for drinks and patting themselves on the back.

It didn't really matter to you but your father wanted you there. He had actually called and asked for you. So you were flying into New York for this. And then you found out Lukas would be attending.

It seemed obvious there was something about the deal that needed to get ironed out. You had wondered if your father wanted you to work on the details with Lukas but he never asked. He had merely engaged you in small talk for a little bit at the beginning before leaving you alone.

"So you're doing well?" Logan had asked after he gave you a small hug.

"Yes, Dad. I'm fine," you smiled a bit, happy that he hugged you. "I'm well, I mean."

"Good," he squeezed your shoulder. "That's good, Ellie."

Then he left you alone but you were quite bright that he acknowledged you. Lukas had arrived a bit later when nearly everyone was there already. It had been two weeks since you'd last seen him, since you'd slept with him. And you couldn't help your feet from carrying you over to him.

"Hi," you said a bit nervously as your heart pounded.

"Yeah. Hey," he replied as looked around while chewing the gum he had. "It's a bit crowded, uh?"

You didn't really notice. You were only staring at him. You really needed to stop it. You forced your gaze to move away from him.

"Hi, Oskar," you smiled politely as you noticed him.

"Little Ella," he greeted with a voice that was a bit loud and pulled you into a side hug, making you smile even wider.

Lukas clenched his jaw. He didn't like that someone else could hug you but he couldn't. It would draw too much attention if he hugged you; make people suspicious.

Then your eyes found someone you hadn't met before. Lukas introduced the two of you.

"Uh, right. My head of comms. Ebba," Lukas stated plainly.

Before you could even say hi, Lukas was whisking you away. You just waved cutely instead. He placed a hand on the small of your back before ushering you forward, "But let's get a drink, ja?"

"That was rude," you said once they reached the drinks table.

"No," he disagreed with a small, persuasive grin. "I can't want you all to myself?"

You floundered for a response as you blushed a little and answered quietly, "I suppose."

He hummed in content before one of the people, a CEO of something you were sure, started to talk to Lukas. It allowed you to stare at Lukas without regard. You started to think of the last time you'd seen Lukas and you heated up.

Once he was done talking, you reached up on the tips of your toes and whispered to him. You were short so even though you were on the tips of your toes, you still couldn't whisper in his ear. You could only whisper in his general direction.

"I'm on the pill now," you uttered with excitement.

He had tilted his head down a bit to listen to you while looking out at the crowd. He paused in chewing his gum once the words left your mouth and his eyes shot to you. He could not believe you had the nerve to say this to him in a crowded room, especially, a room that belonged to your father.

He shook his head, "Hjärtat, you're going to get me in trouble."

Before you could respond, your father had made himself known, "Matsson. Glad you could make it. What do you think?"

"Sir," he straightened and nodded his head. "It's a, uh, nice place you got. Very nice. Trying to get this one here to give me a tour."

You furrowed your eyebrows at what exactly Lukas was up to.

"It seems my daughter has forgotten her manners," Logan said before his casting his gaze upon you. "He's a new guest. Give him a tour."

You nodded obediently, "Of course, Daddy."

Logan left the two of you alone and Lukas muttered quietly with a smirk, "Daddy?"

"Shut up," you blushed.

But you did as your father said. You gave Lukas a tour. You went from room to room showing him around. You seemed to genuinely think that he had wanted one. He just wanted to get you upstairs and alone.

Finally, they did. It was your father's study and as you walked into the room, you didn't notice Lukas had closed the door and locked it. You just went on rambling as you walked inside and stopped in front of the desk. Then Lukas placed his hands on your hips and your ass was against his crotch. All yours words halted.

He moved your hair to the side before kissing your neck. You practically melted against him as he muttered huskily against your skin, "Let me fuck you."

"Someone could walk in," you argued.

"I locked it."

"Oh."

"Bend over," he demanded and you practically did so automatically, eagerly. Your heart was racing in anticipation, in desire.

You bent over the desk where your father frequently worked. You had your head turned to the side and pressed against the wood. Maybe it should've bothered you but it did not. You just wanted to be fucked.

Lukas pushed up the sweater dress you were wearing to just over the swell of your ass. He tugged your panties down to your knees before pushing his sweatpants to reveal his erection. He went to enter you but you had stopped him.

"Shouldn't you wear a condom?" you asked.

"You're on the pill," he defended.

Was the pill really that effective? You didn't know. You did take Plan B last time but this was different. Clearly he thought it was good enough and you trusted him.

"Oh."

And he slid into you erasing any and all thoughts about birth control in your head. You moaned before you felt him place his hands on your ass, squeezing affectionately as he let you adjust.

"This will have to be quick," he stated.

You only mumbled a small plea, "Not too quick."

And you gasped as he started to thrust. It was so fast and so rough. The air was filled with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. The desk rattled and pens fell to the floor from the force of his thrusts against you. You orgasmed so quickly and then another and another in rapid succession. It was like one perpetual never-ending orgasm.

And felt Lukas spill into you making you mewl. But his dick was still hard so he kept plunging into you. He was so turned on by the fact that he had you bent over the desk of your own father. And he was even more turned on by the fact that you could possibly get pregnant. He wanted you pregnant. He wanted you forever tied to him.

Lukas spilled into you three times before he softened. He kept his dick inside you for a couple of moments as you both breathed heavily. Then he pulled out and quickly tugged your underwear back up to catch the cum that started to leak out.

Your legs were a bit tired and shaky as you straightened and fixed your dress, flattening it back down. You turned to him after he had fixed himself and pulled his pants back up. You wobbled a little bit.

He grinned at that before he stepped towards you, kissing your forehead, "You okay?"

You nodded before snuggling your head against his chest and muttered, "Love you."

He had practically froze. You didn't understand why. Of course, you loved him. He was your best friend. Your only friend.

Lukas felt his chest tighten once he heard those words. He swallowed. He wanted to hear them again.

"Can we stay up here for a little while before we go back down?" you asked, mumbling into his chest.

It took him a moment to respond and his voice was ever so soft, "Yeah. Of course. Anything. Anything you want."

You smiled before letting him go. You decided to finish the tour with him and make sure your legs actually worked right. When they were going back down, he noticed a door that you hadn't opened.

"What's in here?"

"Uh...it used to be my room," you revealed; you had been the only one out of your siblings that ever lived here. The penthouse had been something your father moved into when all your other siblings moved out but because you were still young, you were still under his roof and were the only one to have a room here.

"What? I can't go in there?"

"No," you denied him access as you blushed. "Please, don't."

You didn't want him to go in there and see the many posters on your wall. You had a thing for blonde celebrities. Lukas was exactly your type and you didn't want him to know that. It was embarrassing.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled.

You switched subjects and pushed at his chest, "You should go down first."

"You sure?"

You nodded.

He grabbed your hand and kissed your fingertips. Your heart skipped a beat and butterflies erupted. Then he left you in the hallway with a stupid smile on your face to go downstairs like you wanted him to.

_____

Lukas was downstairs in the crowd with Oskar and Ebba. He was joking around with Oskar and he saw Ebba roll her eyes at the two of them with a frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you not having any fun?" Lukas teased.

"Fun? Oh, yeah, it's totally fun to get dragged here just so you can get your dick wet," Ebba said.

Lukas grinned, "Ooh, is somebody jealous?"

"You wish I was, Lukas."

"No but it's fun how it bothers you," he chuckled. "You're all prickly."

"Fuck you, Lukas," Ebba huffed.

"But you already did," he smiled like a shark as he mocked.

You had finally come down from upstairs. You were in the crowd and you could see Lukas joking around with Ebba, teasing. Smiling. He seemed carefree about it and you were hit with an ache in your chest.

You rubbed at it but it just seemed to get bigger the longer you watched. It was a sort of strange stabbing feeling and then you realized: the interaction hurt you. You were jealous.

And that could not be so. You could not have feelings for Lukas. They were casual. And it was so obvious why they were now.

It was obvious why he never made it known he wanted something more. Because you were just a placeholder. As you watched, you realized you and Ebba had similar names. You both had dark hair and bangs. You imagined she was even smarter than you were. You realized that he wanted Ebba and not you.

And it hurt so terribly.

You realized that you had gained feelings for Lukas. How could you be so blind? You would have to bury those. You decided you would cut off the sex with Lukas. You would purely be friends and he would be free to be with the girl he really wanted.

Of course it wasn't you. No one ever wanted you. Not even your own family wanted you. How could you have deluded yourself into thinking Lukas wanted you? He was just a guy and he wouldn't turn down sex. But he didn't really want you. Why would he?

You weren't special. You weren't interesting. You probably bored him. You felt like crying. But you refused to cry over something that was casual. Why were you so weak and pathetic? It was stupid to feel the urge to cry over something that wasn't even real.

Why were you so stupid? Even Roman had called you that.

And maybe you were stupid but you'd be strong in the face of it. You would not cry. By the time you left, you'd made yourself so incredibly numb you thought you wouldn't feel anything even if someone had pinched you.

_____

You were at your apartment in New York. You were going back to London tomorrow. You had just taken a shower and were in a towel when you answered the door to find Lukas.

His eyes raked over you and you couldn't help but like it. But be excited that he liked how you looked. But apparently there was someone he liked looking at more.

"Hey," you managed a small smile as you let him in.

"Hey, cutie," he grinned and your stomach completely flipped at the nickname. You kept cool and merely blinked at the nickname before turning away from him.

You made your way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His steps haunted yours and his fingers immediately took their place caressing shapes into the small of your back that was completely bare. You shivered and he chuckled. You flushed red.

Once you were in the kitchen, he wrapped his arms around you from behind you. He muttered against your ear, "Since we're both stuck in this city tonight, I figured we could stay stuck together, you know. I mean, if you want. Is that okay?"

He was asking to stay tonight. You swallowed and said nonchalantly, "Okay."

He grinned and he kissed the side of your head. Then he nuzzled his nose against your neck before he started to kiss the water droplets off your skin as he blazed a trail down your neck. And when he cupped your breasts through the towel, squeezing, you could not help but let out a low moan.

Lukas then started to tug at your towel which gave you some clarity. No sex with Lukas. You moved forward, away from his hold as you readjusted the towel around you, tightening it after it had loosened.

You repeated the rule in your head as you uttered, "I don't...I don't want to have sex tonight."

You muttered an excuse, a lie, "I'm sore."

You felt his presence behind you as he stepped towards you. You felt his hands on your shoulders as he started to massage them and you sighed a bit before he said in concern, "Did I hurt you?"

You shook your head.

"Ella, look at me."

You turned your head to the side and looked at him for a moment, "No, you didn't hurt me. I...I just meant in general. Like I'm tired."

"Alright," Lukas nodded. "Well, we can just sleep then. Does that sound okay? I like...sleeping next to you. It's the only time I can fucking get any sleep, you know...."

Lukas was rambling. About you to you. You felt like you were going to hyperventilate. Why was he saying these things? Did he mean any of them?

"Ella," he seemed to notice the change in your state.

You breathed out, "That sounds okay."

He smiled before scooping you up, making you gasp. He held you bridal style before carrying you to your bedroom and setting down on the bed. He went to climb in with you but you stopped him.

"Wait, Lukas," you hesitated. "I...I wanted a glass of water."

"Okay," he nodded before he caressed your cheek with a wide grin. "Anything, Ella. Anything you want. It's yours. I'll get you anything."

You thought his pupils looked really dilated. Was he high? You furrowed your eyebrows before placing your hand over his on your cheek and smiling politely, "Okay. Thank you. But I just want water right now."

"Water," he nodded, looking at you like a puppy, before planting a kiss on your cheek and then leaving the room to get you a glass of water.

He did so.

Then he climbed into bed with you and wrapped his arms around you. You had gotten rid of the towel. It wasn't like he hadn't seen you naked. You decided that this really was okay. You weren't going to have sex with him but if he wanted to look at you and wish that he could, you weren't going to stop him. Because if he wanted to truly be with you, he would say something.

But he didn't.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Six

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six

Warnings: brief mentions of smut, talk of previous suicide attempt

You were unsure exactly what you and Lukas were. You had decided that it was not romantic. It couldn't possibly be. Why would Lukas be interested in you in that way? It didn't make sense. No, you knew what they were: friends with benefits.

You really liked the benefits and kept letting him touch you to no end. In fact, as soon as you saw him each time in person, his hands were quickly all over you. You liked how he attacked you desperately, pawing at your clothes. You liked how he seemed to need you.

And from now on, it was only his hands that touched you. Your boss that had sexually-assaulted you had quit; you were sure that Lukas had something to do with it. Because despite your distaste, you didn't want someone to lose your job. It sounded too extreme.

You actually took over his job and had a lot more responsibility. You set up movie premieres, deadlines for movie shoots, etc. You always had something to do. You barely saw Lukas but the times you did, well, they were magical.

Once he actually visited you at work and came into your office. It was a surprise and the moment you saw him you swore your stomach did somersaults. You had squealed before running to him happily and jumping into his arms to hug him.

He hugged you tightly to him as he held you off the ground with your feet dangling. You definitely liked how he held you. He held on until you let go. It was the kind of hug you always wanted, no, needed.

"I didn't know someone could be so happy to see me," he commented with a small, proud grin.

"And don't you forget it," you muttered in a small voice with your head tucked against his shoulder. Don't forget that you're the one that's happy to see him; no one else. You. Please don't be another person that takes you for granted.

He hummed before he kissed the side of your head. And then you let him go and he let you go. But you longed to keep on hugging him. You ignored that feeling. That would be too clingy, wouldn't it?

You and Lukas had gotten a lot more closer though as the weeks passed. You had confided in him about the scar and the pills.

It was one morning after breakfast at your apartment. You were playing with his hand while he was on his phone. You finally noted to him, "You don't have a love line."

"What?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"On your palm. No love line," you replied. "Doesn't that make you sad?"

"Why would that make me sad?" he grinned in amusement.

"Maybe that means you won't have love or it won't last," you worried as you bit your lip.

"I don't need a love line," he chuckled before he smiled goofily. "I have my Ella."

You blushed and looked down. But then he ran his fingers up your palm to your wrist and then to the scar peeking out under your sleeve. You slightly gasped and jerked your hand away.

"And what about that line?" he asked quietly.

You were quiet for a moment. You were hoping he'd never ask but it wasn't like he hadn't seen the scar on your arm. He'd seen it plenty of times when you were bare before him. But he never brought it up; you were hoping it somehow turned invisible. The invisible scar.

You rolled your sleeve up on your left arm to reveal it completely. Then you looked at him before looking off to the side as you spoke quietly, "Last year I took a blade to my arm and tried to kill myself. It didn't even hurt when I did it. I just...felt relief. I bled out really quickly but a maid found me so..."

"Then my dad sent me away to my uncle. I stayed there for a year."

"Is that what the meds are for?"

"Oh, yeah. I take antidepressants," you informed; you had hoped the pills had been invisible, too.

"Do they...help?"

"For the most part. Sometimes, I feel too numb."

"Have you ever felt like that...around me?"

"No," you smiled softly. "I'm pretty sure that's impossible."

"Yeah?" he swallowed with a small grin and you thought you might've seen a tiny blush as he scratched the back of his head. But you must've just been seeing things.

You merely nodded again.

His eyes darted around anxiously before he leaned forward and traced his fingers over the scar, going towards your elbow. He did it so gently before he looked at you rather intensely.

"Ella," he said seriously. "I don't want you to ever do that again, okay?"

You were completely hypnotized by his gaze as you nodded. But he spoke again more firmly, "Promise me?"

You hesitated as you blinked. You swallowed as you suddenly felt a lump in your throat. You felt so emotional all of the sudden and then you realized...it was because he cared about your life. He was asking you to spare your own life. Your parents that knew about your attempted suicide didn't talk about it; they just put their heads in the sand.

Because they did so, you believed you weren't a worth a conservation about it. That they didn't care whether you ended your life or not. If they couldn't talk to you about how you felt, then your feelings weren't worth anything to them. You might as well die.

But here was Lukas, caring.

You didn't realize a tear had slipped down your face until Lukas wiped it away as he called gently, "Ella."

"I promise," you heaved out.

And you meant it.

_____

After you confessed to Lukas, he made his own confession. He told you about his dad committing suicide. You realized that it hit home for him. That he was afraid of losing you like he lost his dad. But you didn't understand why you meant anything at all to Lukas, why he cared. You just knew he did and that was enough for now.

But after all those confessions, you felt a lot more free. You started to actually wear things that didn't have long sleeves. You didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed anymore.

And you were a lot closer to Lukas. He would take you everywhere with him when you were in Sweden whether it be to work, out to drinks with his friends, etc. He'd always hold your hand or have his hand on the small of your back drawing circles like he was trying to imprint the memory of his touch onto you.

Sometimes, you'd space out and he would notice. He'd get your attention subtly by squeezing your hand and you'd focus again. You mostly did a lot of focusing on him; how pretty his eyes were, how you liked his smile, how you liked how his large hand encompassed yours when you held it.

You mostly did a lot of focusing on him because everyone talked in Swedish around you. He always tried to include you as Lukas would give you a summary and ask if you had any thoughts; sometimes you did and sometimes you didn't.

But since he talked in Swedish, you didn't know that Lukas was introducing you to everyone as his girlfriend. Labeling you his without you even knowing, without your permission. Everyone in Stockholm basically thought the two of you were dating without you having any clue.

But you were so content with Lukas. It was as easy as breathing with him but as exciting as being on a rollercoaster. Your stomach fluttered every time he looked at you and your whole being was alight with warmth.

One day, Lukas hosted a watch party at his house of the soccer game. He owned one of the teams. He was getting frustrated because they were losing and he ranted in a loud, angry tone with Oskar.

You looped your hand with his as you sat beside him on the couch and you said, "It's just a game."

"No. Not just a game," Lukas disagreed. "Not when they're being fucking embarrassing..."

His speech dissolved into angry Swedish. You shook your head and bit your lip to keep from smiling. You thought it was funny that he was getting this worked up over a soccer game. But then again the rest of everyone in the room was, too. You didn't understand it.

When the other team made a goal again and everyone shouted or groaned, you clapped. Lukas gave you the dirtiest look possible.

"What?" you gave him a clueless look. "It was a good goal."

As the game went on, you continued to clap for the other team. Lukas continued to look at you like you were a traitor. After a while, Lukas was now on his phone beside you in a sullen mood and avoiding looking at the game.

You nudged him as you whispered, "Is anything gonna cheer you up?"

He was still for a moment before he bit his lip as he gazed at you. Then he leaned towards you to whisper with his lips against your ear in a very low tone, "You should go upstairs and I can join you in a few minutes."

"That sounds very dirty," you smiled in amusement.

"Uh huh," he hummed as he stared at you with hopeful, excited eyes like a puppy.

You shook your head, "No."

His eyes became a bit pointed as you turned him down. His jaw clenched before he took a sip of his beer with a disappointed frown. It was obvious he was pouting.

Then you whispered towards him, "You can wait until after this is over. Then I'll be yours."

He turned his eyes to you again, raking over you. He practically undressed you with his gaze. You nudged him to focus and he rolled his eyes before looking away.

When it was over and everyone left, you were cleaning up a bit. You were surprised when Lukas pulled you to him by your belt loops. You gasped a little bit and placed a hand on his chest to steady yourself. You breathed a little quicker; it was kind of hot how he grabbed you.

"I think you promised me something."

You giggled before you ran your hand up his chest. You liked how solid he was. You liked his physique, sure, but to you it was more about how it felt when you placed your hand on his solid torso. It was like a wall. Steady, strong, and would not move. Would not leave. It felt more real.

"Well," you bit your lip. "Are you going to take it?"

His response was instantaneous as he undid your high-waisted jeans and pushed them down your legs which took your panties down along with them. Then he picked you up and carried you towards the stairs. But he only ended up pressing you against the floor-to-ceiling windows right by the stairs.

He knelt down before putting your legs over his shoulders and he began to pleasure you with his mouth between your legs like he'd done so many times before. Your hands tangled in his hair and you were utterly lost, undone as you moaned his name again and again like a prayer. You tried to rock your hips against him but he held them in place.

When he was done making so many unholy sounds come out of your pretty mouth, you had no problem letting him fuck said mouth. It was the first time he actually used your mouth like a punching bag for his cock. You knew your throat was going to be so sore but you did not care; it was like you were high and just took what he gave you. You just let him. And you took every little drop of him, moaning every time he filled your mouth with his cum.

You honestly did not know how long it went on for. But the next morning, you had bruised knees and you could barely speak. Lukas apologized but he had a proud little grin that he kept trying to hide. You told him not to apologize because you liked it. You didn't know if that was wrong or abnormal but you did. You just told him not to be so rough next time. You thought he never looked so excited when you said next time.

_____

Despite being an artist and appreciating all types of art, you did not appreciate selfies. You hated getting your picture taken. But Lukas kept pestering you to take a photo with him for weeks.

"Why do you need a picture of me?" you questioned. "If you need one, you can just think of the one in your head."

He chuckled at your argument and gave you the best puppy eyes he could muster. And it was his haunting blue eyes that made you shiver that made you concede.

Although, your version of taking a picture was trying to hide your face away against him. You pressed your cheek against his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you and you barely smiled. But then Lukas coaxed you with a grin on his face as he tilted his head to look down at you, "Come on, princess. You're too pretty not to have a photo."

You really smiled then as your eyes fluttered up to look at him. And he snapped the photo of the two of you. It was so quick and easy.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Lukas grinned. "Let's take another one."

"No, Lukas," you whined as you placed your hand in front your face to block the shot. And that ended up being the photo he snapped: you grimacing with your hand trying to hide your face and Lukas looking down at you in amusement.

Lukas did not understand your distaste. You were stunning. He thought you should have a million photos but he'd settle for just one. He wanted a picture of that gorgeous smile so he could look at it every time he wanted to when you weren't around. He wanted a picture of his girl. His Ella. He didn't think that was too much to ask but you just hated photos.

And what you did not know is that he posted that second photo online. He posted it to his Instagram with the caption: real life cinderella who hates getting her photo taken

And suddenly you were popular with your family again.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Fourteen

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

Warnings: Lukas being jealous and possessive

The next day was the rehearsal dinner for Connor. Of course, you went to that and on time unlike the rest of your siblings who were late. Connor hugged you when you arrived and then you also hugged Willa and smiled, "Welcome to the family."

"Oh, Ella, that's so sweet," she smiled and took a large swig of her champagne which made your eyes widen.

The rehearsal dinner took a nosedive after that. Willa had stood up before announcing loudly, "I can't do this."

Then she ran off to the bathroom. You tried to help Con by going and trying to talk to her but she had locked herself in there with her friends and didn't want to talk. She was in there for a long time and it was nearing half an hour. You decided to go get some air. When you went outside, you found Stewy leaning against a limo.

You always found the presence of Stewy to be infectious. He seemed to have this lively energy that you had never had that you made you slightly envious. Ever since Kendall introduced him to you, he'd always make you smile in some way.

"Stewy!" you grinned before running to give him a hug.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite Roy?" Stewy smiled as you hugged him.

"Liar," you blushed as you let him go.

"Really?" he raised his eyebrows with a teasing grin. "Because last I checked, you're the only Roy that gives me a hug every time you see me. Which makes you the sweetest Roy and, therefore, my favorite."

"I do that with everyone, though."

"Oh, so I'm not special?" he clutched his chest. "I'm hurt."

"Shut up," you blushed again.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're very cute when you blush?" Stewy said. "I feel like someone has had to at some point."

You were saved from answering when Kendall called out, "Stewy, what the hell? What are you doing with my sister? She has nothing to do with the board meet tomorrow."

Kendall approached the two of you along with Shiv and Roman.

"Yeah, I know," Stewy said. "So what? Is that somehow supposed to mean I can't talk to her?"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I guess...I guess that's fine."

You shook your head at your protective brother before addressing the three of them, "You're late. You should get in there."

"Yeah. Yeah. We should. Just, uh, in a minute," Kendall said.

"Yeah. Tell Con we didn't want to be late. Dad made us late," Roman stated.

You sighed as you realized they were going to talk business with Stewy. You looked back at Stewy and gave him a small smile, "Bye, Stewy."

"Ella," he smiled and kissed your cheek politely.

You walked away from them. You were intending to go back inside but then you got a text. It was from Lukas. He sent you a picture of you just hugging Stewy. Your eyes widened at the fact that he even had this. Was he monitoring you?

Then he called you. You walked off a bit down the sidewalk before answering it. He didn't let you say a greeting before he was speaking.

"Who is this guy you're hugging? Why are you hugging him? Are you fucking seeing him?"

"Lukas, how did you even get a photo of me? Are you spying on me?" you asked.

"That's...that's not important. Just answer the question."

"I can hug other people, Lukas."

"Well, I don't go around hugging fucking randos so you...you shouldn't, either," he argued with frustration in his voice.

"I can't believe you," tears stung your eyes. "You barely talk to me and now you want to be mad that I'm hugging someone else. You know I like to hug people and I can hug whoever I wish."

"It's not about you hugging people. It's about you hugging someone when I'm not there."

"You're never here," you blurted out and you covered your mouth a bit in shock that you'd been that bold. But then you let your hand drop. "I...I don't want to speak to you right now. You invaded my privacy, Lukas. That's not okay."

"Ella..."

But you hung up. And he kept calling you repeatedly but you didn't pick up and you put your phone on silent.

____

After the disaster that was tonight, you were back home. You and the rest of your siblings had taken Connor to a more regular bar and then to karaoke. Then your father made an appearance and tried to convince the Three Musketeers to not vote no at the board meeting tomorrow but he failed. But then Logan bit back with words that you could tell hit a nerve with them.

"I love you but you're not serious people."

You only thought of the I love you part. That was what you held onto. And you thought of when you heard those three words from Lukas.

Lukas had stopped calling you. But you could not sleep. You kept thinking of how he had surveillance on you. He was keeping tabs on you. He cared about you. It was three in the morning but you called him on FaceTime.

"Hey," he said softly as he answered immediately.

You could tell he was lying in bed as he was propped up against his headboard. He had headphones on which meant he had been on his phone and wasn't sleeping.

"You're haven't slept?" you worried a bit and chewed on your lip.

"You know I don't get any sleep without you next to me."

You smiled a little at that before you sighed, "Lukas, why are you having someone spy on me?"

"You're...You're in New York," he explained. "You're far away and I can't be with you as much as I want to. And I...I was worried about you. I thought you might...you know."

"Oh," you realized. He thought you might commit suicide.

"I didn't intend to use it to see if you were with other guys or anything. But then I got the photo and I...I jumped to conclusions. I was mad," he flexed his hand. "I can't fucking help it. You're you and you could have any guy you wanted."

"But I was mad when I shouldn't have been. That wasn't cool. And I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I'm sorry."

It was silent for a moment before you responded quietly, "I forgive you."

"Yeah?" he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Yes, Lukas," you reassured before saying anxiously. "And if...if you want to keep...keeping an eye on me, that's fine, too."

"You don't have to worry about that but I get why you're doing it," you stated, addressing suicide.

"Okay," he nodded, staring intensely at you through the phone. "Ella, when you said that I'm never there..."

"I don't want to talk about that," you immediately interrupted as your chest heaved. "I know...I know that you'd be here if you could."

"Do you?"

"Yes." No.

Lukas had always made time for you no matter what. But after the baby died, something had changed. It was like you weren't important anymore. But you didn't want to hear him say it.

He analyzed you and he seemed to accept your answer before he sighed, "I should let you sleep."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me."

You blinked. He didn't want you to worry about him. He was going to find someone else to worry about him. You swallowed, "Alright."

He smiled slightly before he uttered in a soft tone, "Dream sweet dreams for me."

You nodded and you couldn't help but utter out a phrase as you ended the call. It was a force of habit.

"I love you."

Those words seemed to echo in your head as you tried to go to sleep. But since you didn't hear them from him, they continued to echo in the emptiness of your mind, telling you that you would only ever hear him say it in the echoes of your memory. You wondered if that what was what you were doomed to become to him: nothing but a memory, an echo, a footnote. Nothing but the paint that they washed away.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Eleven

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven

Warnings: cliffhanger, reader has very low self-esteem

Lukas was adamant now that they go public and tell your family. You absolutely were not. You thought your father would have a heart attack if he found out you were pregnant while unmarried.

"But Ella..."

"No," Ella denied. "We can tell my family after the deal."

"At least move in with me then."

"After the deal."

He groaned, "You're so fucking stubborn."

"Okay," he sighed. "But what about you working so much? It's not healthy, Ella."

"I'll cut back. I promise," you said before pecking him on the lips.

And you got your way. Still, no one in your family knew about you and Lukas. The deal was expected to close in about two months though and you'd barely be in your second trimester. That was more than enough time in your pregnancy to then go and live with Lukas while also dealing with your family coming around to the idea.

You didn't worry about that right now though. Currently, you were happy. You went to go see a doctor for your first prenatal appointment. It was too early to see the sex or see it on ultrasound. But you got on all the necessary vitamins.

You kept up with your workout routine which was yoga. It was the only form of exercise that you'd been able to keep up with. It was because you could do it in bed. When you had been depressed a year ago just laying in bed, you didn't have the energy for anything and didn't do anything. But once you started to gain some after being put on meds, you started up yoga.

And you kept at it. It did become more rigorous as you tried more demanding forms. But because of it, you were extremely flexible which Lukas knew all too well. You hoped that it would help you with all the changes your body was going to go through and then going back to a normal body. You did not want stretch marks; the possible imperfection made you scared that Lukas would leave you.

You did good at keeping that paranoid thought out of your brain though. And you did take a step back from work. You let your assistant handle some things. It allowed you to do more planning with Lukas.

One day you were at his house in Sweden. One of the rooms was being redecorated to be a baby room. The floor was covered in plastic as it was being painted. You were painting on one side of the wall while sitting on a stool so you stayed off your feet for a long time. The window was open to allow ventilation. You were making it colorful and painting animals on the wall.

Lukas came in to help you. One side of the room was just going to be a solid color, a mint green. He painted that wall and you were still working on yours. He came over to you, watching how focused you were. You bit your lip as you painted so carefully.

"I think you should take a break," Lukas suggested.

"I'm almost done," you said.

"Ella," he scolded before he caressed your cheek, not realizing he had paint on his hands.

But you could feel it. You gasped and your hand flattened on the wall. You also had paint on your hands and it created a handprint once you removed your hand.

"Lukas!"

"Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry."

He looked at you like a puppy that was scolded. You didn't notice as you stared at the handprint. You gained an idea as you grabbed his hand and placed it flat against the wall to overlap your own handprint. Then you removed his hand and stared at the two handprints.

You smiled as you did so. You didn't know what you liked about it. You supposed you liked it because it created an actual physical imprint that signified that they were always joined together.

Lukas stared at your smile. You smiled beautifully over something so simple and he was in awe over you. He swallowed before he gained the courage to tell you.

"Ella," he called.

You hummed in acknowledgement without looking at him.

"Look, I'm just gonna say something and I don't want you to get into it like you do. I'm just gonna fucking say it and we're gonna move on, okay?"

"Okay," you frowned slowly before turning your eyes to him. "But it's bad, isn't it?"

"Ella."

"You don't actually want to have a baby with me, do you?"

"What? No. Ella, I'm trying to tell you that I...I love you."

You had carried on rambling while he talked, "I knew it. I knew you wouldn't...wait, you...."

Your world seemed to slow down as you heard those words. I love you. You barely ever heard those words so when you heard them now it felt like a tidal wave of disbelief.

You breathed heavily, "Can you just....can you just say it again?"

He swallowed and hunched down before uttering as he stared at you intensely, "I really fucking love you, alright?"

"But why?"

He sighed, "If I told you I thought you were...fucking perfect, would you believe me?"

You shook your head.

"Then don't ask," he said. "But just know when I imagine life, I can't even see the rest of mine without you. If I even think about it, it's just...fucking depressing. Life without my girl, my Ella...it can't ever be a possibility."

"It won't be."

"No?"

"I'm too attached. I love you too much."

"Yeah?" he smiled.

"Yes. Yes. Always. You know how I said my father was like gravity," you revealed. "Well, you're like that to me now."

He stared before he kissed you quickly. His hands tangled in your hair and your hands grabbed onto his shirt. The two of you got paint all over each other as he picked you up to carry you out of the room. The paint would wash away but the stain of him in your heart like invisible ink would always remain.

____

Despite not telling your family, he did tell his. His mother knew, well, more like she found out. You were now meeting her as you made Lukas invite her over for dinner. He hated the idea but he relented for you. Lukas was tense before she arrived; you squeezed his hand and gave you a small, reassuring smile.

His mother was called Irene. You smiled once she entered and even hugged her because you were nothing if not a hugger. She barely formed a smile as she looked you over, analyzing you, with her beady eyes.

"Well, I see why my son couldn't resist getting into bed with you."

Your eyes widened.

"Mother," he chastised and his accent was strong as he did so.

Everything was tense after that as the three sat down to eat. You sat beside Lukas while his mother sat across from them at the table. And then the questions started.

"And where are you planning to stay when the baby comes?"

"With Lukas."

"And how do you plan to contribute when the baby comes? He tells me you're leaving work."

"She'll be the mother of my child. That's contribution enough," Lukas said. "Drop it."

"You're so young, dear. Are you sure you even want the baby?" Irene questioned. "Don't let that be the reason you stay with him if you don't want to be."

"I...I want to be with Lukas."

Irene clenched her jaw before looking at Lukas, "Did you have to tie yourself to someone so young? You couldn't have found someone your own age."

"It doesn't matter now."

"Of course it matters. It's still early. She can get an abortion...."

Lukas stood so fast that his chair fell over onto the floor, "That's it. I'm done. We're done. You can leave now."

Irene huffed before getting up to leave. Lukas followed her to make sure she left. You heard them arguing in the entranceway about you.

"She's too young for you."

"She's in her twenties. It's not like she's a fucking teenager."

"A girl like that has options. If she's the type to get knocked up without even being married, then she could very well get knocked up by anyone who gives her the time of day."

His voice was deadly as he spoke very calmly, "Don't ever fucking insinuate that she's a whore to me ever again."

"You've known her for four months, Lukas. You're moving too fast."

"Baby or no baby, it wouldn't change anything. That is my girl. I love her. I fucking love her. End of discussion," Lukas stated and your heart skipped a beat hearing him say those words. "Disrespect her again and we're done."

You heard the front door shut and close. Then moments later, Lukas entered the dining room again. You bit your lip as you made a joke, "The holiday dinners will be so much fun."

"Very," he chuckled as he righted his chair before kissing the top of your head. "We'll be okay."

You smiled before he caressed your cheek as he said, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"You shouldn't be talked about like that. I don't like it," he scratched at his chest. "It...It'll never happen again. I promise."

"I don't care if your mother thinks that. I just care what you think," you muttered.

He leaned his forehead against yours as he looked into your eyes. Your dark blue eyes. You looked at him with such reverence.

"You'll always be my perfect Ella," he smiled softly before he kissed you while you blushed red. And dinner became a dinner for two.

_____

Three weeks had passed since you found out you were pregnant and Lukas was with you in London. You had gone to dinner with him. The two of you were being driven back to your apartment in your limo.

You were discussing possible names with him if it was a girl or boy. He had one hand on your stomach and the other was wrapped around your shoulders. You giggled at a name he came up when bright lights seemed to flood your window.

And then everything went dark.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Three

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Warnings: reader has signs of depression and suicidal ideation throughout story

Chapters: One, Two, Three

Summary: Ella takes Lukas up on his offer to be her date to another wedding

When they got back to Italy, the four siblings staged an intervention for Kendall. He had "fallen" off his floaty into the pool and nearly drowned. When you saw him approach all of you, you immediately stood and hugged him, "Kendall, are you okay?"

"Yeah, El. I'm fine," he patted your back and, again, peeled you off of him.

You took your seat again, a little bit dejected. Kendall took in the rest of his siblings as he questioned, "What is this? Is this an intervention?"

When he learned it was an intervention of sorts, he became defensive. "Why do you get to do an intervention on me? I mean, if anyone in our family needs an intervention, it's, and I'm sorry, but it's El here with her little space outs. Which, by the way, why do you do that?"

You had been playing with the sleeve of your shirt, debating on telling them, showing them. But that thought was immediately snuffed out as your eyes stung with tears.

"El, I'm sorry. That was...out of line."

You had thought, finally, that you'd be able to relate to one of your siblings now even if it was in a morbid way. But you realized that no one wanted to relate to you. You were considered the "odd" one and no one would ever like that. Your jaw clenched and your eyes grew steely.

"I already had my intervention when Dad sent me away to Uncle Ewan. Or did he not tell you?" you revealed as you stood up, your chair screeching as you did so.

"Wait, El..." Shiv said softly.

But you stormed off. You could hear Connor defend you as you did so.

"What the Hell is wrong with you? That's your sister who loves you. She's been waiting to hug you all day, too, and this is how you treat her..."

You didn't hear the rest of it as you got further away. You didn't want to. You kept trying to make them see you but perhaps you were never meant to be seen. You would have to make do with the background, fading in and out.

All of your siblings came to apologize, though, which made you think that maybe you were seen. Connor came to console you and gave you a giant bear hug. Roman had come to apologize as well; you had never seen him so serious before.

"I do like to take things too far but that doesn't mean I want you to disappear. You know that, right?"

Roman was giving you those big, puppy eyes and you couldn't help but forgive him. Shiv visited you, too, and talked to you about being sent off to Uncle Ewan.

"You just needed a little detox, right? I get it," Shiv smiled.

You had smiled back but Shiv did not get it. It seemed like only Roman understood what you meant when you said you had an intervention; but Roman had also noticed you picking with your sleeves constantly. He had decided to be a bit nicer to you.

Kendall apologized as well. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Can we just forget about it?"

This was a familiar song and dance now that you were back in the house of cards. You had a habit of forgiving them and they had a habit of taking you for granted (except Connor). You didn't know if you would ever break the streak. Some part of you didn't want to because that would mean letting go and you didn't want to let go quite yet; you needed people even if they weren't the right people to be in your life.

_____

Once the wedding was over, you barely communicated with your family. Your three siblings were off trying to start their own business after being betrayed by their father because he was selling but you didn't see what the big issue was.

So you were left alone. Well, sort of. You had started to get close to Lukas. You had started to communicate with Lukas. He had gotten your number and was now regularly talking to you. You liked it.

You never had any problems with sleeping like Lukas did. In fact, you slept too much but you still always felt tired. Then you'd wake up to photos Lukas sent you of himself with random goofy filters.

It made you smile and you felt a bit more energetic. He seemed to have enough energy for the both of them; a restlessness that kept him up and moving unlike you that found it hard to even get out of bed.

You were getting better about it, especially, with the help you took in the morning every morning. You didn't like it. It made things dull but it was better than feeling nothing like a vacuum sucked out all your feelings and left you empty.

But there was a certain brightness you started to feel because of Lukas. It seemed all the chaotic energy he contained carried over to you and made you feel a bit more bright.

Lukas would also send you photos throughout the day of what he was doing like him at work, him on his laptop, him listening to a podcast, etc. He seemed to want you involved in everything and it made you feel a twinge of bliss. To be involved, to be wanted, to be needed. It felt nice.

Lukas constantly asked you what you were doing but you were more shy. You were not photogenic. You didn't even have any social media. You were not sending him one photo no matter how many times he pestered you for one.

You were fine with telling Lukas what you were doing; each time he asked, you always were in bed. So that was you said, in bed. He had started to question it in their texts.

Why are you always in bed? What do you do?

What a bed is used for: sleep

That's not all a bed is used for

His response left you with red cheeks and you had gasped. You left him on read and stayed silent. You didn't know how to respond. He ended up responding again and changed the subject.

You sleep a lot then

I like sleep

do you sleep well?

Yes and no; I'm never refreshed

Why not?

I'm just not

He had left it at that. You had learned that Lukas was quite pushy; he always wanted to know everything. He had zero boundaries but he quickly learned where yours was whenever you would leave him on read in their texts. You become shy and silent and he knew then there was a boundary he crossed. He had to reel you back in by diving into another subject and you liked that he never failed to do so; he didn't grow tired of you like you thought that he would. Like everyone else seemed to do.

But it had been a month and he hadn't grown tired of you. You ended up hearing from Lukas one day in the morning. He had called you while you were lying in bed on your stomach eating chocolate for breakfast. You loved chocolate; the artificial sweetness seemed to fill your heart and make you feel giddy.

"What are you doing?" he immediately wanted to know.

"I'm lying on my bed."

"The number of times you say that you're in bed makes me think you want me to join you. Do you?"

Your cheeks reddened and you choked a little bit. Your heart stuttered before you uttered a response, "I-No. I'm eating breakfast."

He hummed and you just knew that he was grinning, "In bed?"

"Yes. So?"

"What are you eating?"

"Chocolate."

"For breakfast?"

You swallowed guiltily, "Don't you dare say anything."

You heard him chuckle and your heart skipped a beat. You sighed softly before you hesitated, "I have to ask you something."

"Okay. Sounds ominous."

It had been a month since he had offered and you weren't sure if the offer was still on the table. It made you nervous. You swallowed.

"Um, one of my friends is getting married and...I need a date. Can you still be..."

"Yes," he answered automatically and a smile erupted on your face.

You felt giddy and you didn't say anything for a moment as you reveled in your little victory. You were kind of lost in your own head as the word yes echoed around. He wanted to be your date. He said yes. He wanted to be there for you.

"So are you going to tell me when this wedding is?"

"Oh, right."

______

The bride of the wedding was more acquaintance than friend. You had once been friends back in art school before your father convinced you to drop out and go to business school. You had still kept in touch a bit with the friends you had made in art school but it was few and far between.

Still, you got invited to this wedding and you felt quite happy to go. You didn't know if it was the fact that you actually had a date or that you loved weddings. Either way, you were excited (even if you did take pills to keep the blues away).

You had been nervous, though. You had these anxious thoughts that Lukas wouldn't make it. Your mind had concocted the worst things like his jet going down before it landed or his company completely tanking so he wouldn't be able to come.

Your mind easily accepted a disaster before it would ever accept that someone wanted to actually be your date. But Lukas arrived and no disaster had happened.

This wedding was in the States which Lukas complained about. But he had shown up and he wouldn't complain anymore when you looked the way you did.

You were in a floor-length red gown (with sleeves) and your makeup was light but you had bright red lipstick on. It made him want to kiss you.

"Hi," you smiled widely before you shuffled towards him excitedly in your heels.

You hugged him. You couldn't help it. You were a hugger and you hadn't seen him in person for a month. You sighed when he picked you up, holding you to him for a long moment. You were content.

Then he set you down as he commented, "I thought no one was supposed to one up the bride."

You giggled, "Don't be ridiculous. Vivian is far prettier than me. There's no way I could. Just wait till you see her. You'll understand."

Lukas stared at you intensely, "I don't need to see her."

You got captured by his blue eyes and your breath left you. Then he gestured towards the door, "Shall we?"

You nodded before walking forward and grabbing his hand. You played with his fingers in the elevator and did the same in the limo.

"I..." you spoke nervously. "I'm glad you made it."

"Were you worried I wouldn't?"

"I...well...you are in Sweden. There's so many things that could have gone wrong. Like what if your jet had engine failure?"

"Then I'd get a new jet."

You started to ramble, not even hearing what he said, "And then your plane might've gone down. Or maybe your company completely tanked so you wouldn't be able to come and...wait, really?"

His lips were quirked in amusement, "If I fucking had to, yes."

You stared at him for a moment as you felt like your heart inflated like a balloon inside your chest. You frowned, though, before you uttered quietly, "Don't lie."

"Why would I be lying?" he wore a questioning gaze made her feel like she was crazy for even suggesting it.

"I-I don't know," you said nervously.

You didn't want to admit to him that you didn't believe in big gestures. You didn't want to admit that you didn't believe you were worth big gestures.

He placed his fingers under your chin and tilted it up so you would look at him again, "What? Do you need fucking proof? What do you want?"

"No, Lukas," you denied.

He stared at you before he nodded like he had decided something, "I'll prove it you."

You went to protest but he kissed your cheek which silenced you before his lips promised against your skin. "Later."

______

At the wedding, you had a small smile as you watched the ceremony. Lukas was only watching you.

"See, she's really pretty," you whispered to him. "And that dress is gorgeous."

"It'd look much fucking prettier on you," he whispered back and his voice was a bit husky and low.

You blushed and swallowed, "Thank you."

Then you whacked him on the shoulder playfully, "But stop with the swearing. You're terrible."

Lukas chuckled before he teased, "Hitting your date? That's terribly fucking rude, princess."

"Lukas!"

_____

Once the ceremony was over, they went to the reception. You had mingled with a few guests before Vivian spotted you.

"Ella! You actually came. I haven't seen you in forever," the bride smiled as she came up to you and Lukas. "Have you gotten back into art at all? You were so good."

"Art?" Lukas asked.

"Oh, this one was the best in our class when we were in art school," Vivian explained. "And I mean leagues better."

"I don't think that's totally true," Ella frowned a bit before she quickly changed subjects. "But you look so beautiful, Vivian. Where did you get this dress..."

You held small talk for a little bit with Vivian before she had to leave for the first dance. Lukas stayed quiet for the most part with his hands in his pockets.

"So, you're an artist. You got anymore hidden talents?" Lukas said once Vivian left.

"I guess you'll have to find out," you teased with a smile.

He hummed before he questioned, "I thought you went to business school?"

"I did. But I was in art school before that. I dropped out, though," you frowned as you thought about it.

"Why? Apparently, you were a fucking protege," Lukas said.

You shook his head at his swearing again before replying with a shrug, "It wasn't what my father wanted."

"But what did you want?"

"I...." you were ready to explain that saying no to your father wasn't easy so you weren't expecting that question. You don't think a single person has ever asked what you wanted. "I...I didn't want to go to business school. I hated it actually."

He hummed before he asked, "And what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know," you shrugged before you gave him a mischievous smile as you grabbed his hands to pull him to the dance floor. "But right now, I'm getting a dance out of you."

The first dance was over and other couples had joined the dance floor. Lukas was completely rigid as you tugged on him, "No. Absolutely not."

"You're my date. It's in your job description," you argued.

"Oh, so it's a job?" he teased. "So am I getting paid for this?"

"Lukas," you stared at him with a pouting look which was adorable. He sighed and followed after you. He was completely tense and would step on your feet (which made you laugh) but he did slow dance with you and you left there with him with a small smile on your face.

_____

Lukas had been drawing shapes on the small of your back the whole ride home. It made goosebumps form on your skin in the darkness of the car and your body went into a sort of frenzy, hyperaware of everything. And your heart was thumping so quickly that you could hear the blood rushing in your ears.

"I want you to know that I was really happy that you came," you admitted in the limo as they reached her apartment.

"I know. You wouldn't stop smiling," his fingers traced your lips.

"Oh."

He wanted to kiss you but Lukas could not read you. He wasn't sure if you wanted him to. He wasn't sure if you wanted him in the same way he wanted you. You made it obvious that you wanted his attention, at least, or rather his friendship but that was all you made known. And he did not want to mess this up under any circumstances.

So he kissed your cheek instead as a goodbye. It was a lingering kiss that said I want you but you didn't notice. You just gave him a little smile and left the limo to go inside.

______

The next morning, you woke up to a picture of a jet that Lukas sent you. You were confused.

What is this?

Proof

I bought another jet for those epic disasters you've concocted

You didn't know how to respond. He bought another jet for you just so you wouldn't be anxious. Your mind couldn't comprehend why he would do such a thing. You weren't that special.

I would tell you to return it but I know you wouldn't (can you even return jets?) so thank you

Your thumbs hovered over the next thing you wanted to type. You hesitated before you finally sent it. You sent him an heart emoji.

He sent one back.

And you had cried a little bit. It was probably the most loved you ever felt in your whole life. You didn't know how to handle it but your body decided for you. A smile you couldn't control rested on your face for the entire day. No, the entire week and you had decided that, if it was within your power, you weren't ever going to let Lukas go.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Seven

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven Warnings: smut (18+)

You did not know about the photo Lukas posted but you certainly found out. It happened when your three siblings that hadn't talked to you in months seemed to remember that you existed. Roman reached out first with a text: so are you actually fucking Lukas now or what?

You were absolutely confused when you woke up in the morning in your apartment alone (since you'd flown back to London) with that text from Roman. You texted him back.

No. I don't know how many times I have to say that

Then Kendall called.

"Kendall!" you smiled excitedly; happy that your brother called.

"Ella, what-what is this shit? What are you doing with Matsson?"

"Don't question her like that," you heard Shiv say. "Let me talk to her."

Then Shiv was on the line and you could tell she was smiling as she called you by your nickname, "Hey, Ellie."

"Shivvie," you called her by her own nickname you gave her when you were little.

"You're quite popular today."

"Why is everyone asking about Lukas?"

"So it's Lukas, uh?" Shiv questioned, pointing out how you called him by his first name.

"We're friends, why? What does everyone know that I don't?"

"He posted a photo of the two of you on his Instagram. So you're probably gonna be getting a call from dad, too."

"Oh, that's great," you said sarcastically as you started to bite on your nails anxiously.

"So just friends, huh?"

"Yeah, why?" you said cluelessly, furrowing your eyebrows.

Was it that hard to believe you were friends with Lukas? Were you that unlikable that you couldn't even have a friend? Tears stung your eyes a bit at the thought of them thinking that.

"No reason," Shiv accepted it; she knew you were completely oblivious to the opposite sex. "Well, just be careful, alright?"

"Alright," you said slowly.

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?" And then Shiv hung up.

And like Shiv said, you soon got a call from your father. You had to practically convince him you were friends with Lukas. He eventually believed you after a long phone call. You didn't know why everyone had such trouble believing that you could have a friend.

You called Lukas after that and got on to him. You ranted all about your morning and he listened. Then he easily softened you up and your resolve crumbled.

"I am sorry but I'm also like..not sorry," he argued. "Ella, there are zero fucking photos of you. Zero. It's like you don't exist. I wanted people to see you but to also know that you're...with me."

He started to grin, "Because now there's only the one. Me with you, the beautifully elusive Ella."

His voice was a bit teasing at that last part but serious, too. You were blushing by the end and you had a soft smile. You thanked God that this was not a FaceTime call. You sighed, "Okay. Maybe I overreacted. But you need to tell me next time."

You didn't realize you said the words next time until they were already out of your mouth. And Lukas immediately clung onto them as he asked excitedly.

"You're gonna let me take another photo?"

"Well..." his voice just sounded so happy and you gave in. "As long as they're private."

"Private. I promise."

And you never did find out that Lukas thought of you as a real life cinderella.

_____

So you started to take more selfies with Lukas. The privacy clause you made him promise made you feel calm about it. You didn't know that Lukas made one his background photo on his phone.

But you started to feel brave about it and you wanted to experiment. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before so you felt comfortable with it. You sent him nude photos when you were away from each other.

Lukas couldn't believe that you wouldn't even smile in a simple photo but you'd send him nudes. You didn't make any sense to him but you drove him crazy. And he responded in typical outlandish Lukas fashion. In response to your nude photos, he'd send you photos of his erection.

And in his absence, you tried to get yourself off. You started to touch yourself while looking at the photos of his dick. But the more you tried to get yourself off, the more you wanted it to be Lukas himself. And you could not orgasm so you were always insatiable when you saw him next. (Well, you both were.)

With this little photo game that they were playing, you started to think about having actual sex with him. You wondered what it would feel like, if it would hurt. You even started to have dirty dreams about Lukas. It was getting out of control.

But Lukas was your friend even if your relationship with him was unconventional. Shouldn't your first time be with someone you were dating? Someone you felt romantic feelings for?

You didn't understand that person was right in front of you.

_____

One weekend you went to Sweden. When you arrived the driver that Lukas used picked you up from the airport and you waved cutely. "Hi, Sven."

"Miss Ella, it is always a pleasure to see you," the older and taller man smiled before opening the car door for you.

"Thank you," you replied politely.

When they arrived at the mansion Lukas lived at, Sven opened your door and held out his hand for you to take to help you out of the car. You took it gratefully and thanked him once again.

Lukas was waiting on the porch and he shook his head as you reached him and he took your hand to lead you inside, "All of my staff completely adore you."

You shrugged, "What do you mean? They're just nice."

Lukas noticed that you were so sweet. You were always saying please and thank you. You never cursed. You were always respectful and proper. You got everyone to adore you instantly and you barely noticed.

Even Oskar and Andreas adored you. Oskar called you little Ella quite merrily and you would give him a side hug in greeting. You got people to adore you so effortlessly and you just did not even see it. It was a miracle he even got your attention because of how oblivious you were about everything.

Lukas just shook his head at you.

But that weekend, the two of you had gone out to eat. Lukas had given his chefs the weekend off. You could say he was inspired by you.

It had rained, though. When they got back to the house and inside, he noticed you were smiling.

"Why are you smiling?"

"It's raining," you said like it was obvious.

"This shitty weather is making you smile?"

"Don't say that," you smacked at his chest. "It's beautiful."

He smiled in amusement before taking your coat off your shoulders and hanging it up. Then he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind before he mused. "Your thoughts are so...unique. You're never boring."

"I'm not?"

"No," he hummed.

You leaned back into his solid hold as he kissed the top of your head so softly. You placed your hands over his that rested on your stomach and it felt acutely domestic. Butterflies erupted in your stomach and your blood buzzed. You wanted him.

And that's when you decided it was going to be him. You wanted Lukas to be the first you ever had. Even if you were just friends.

You turned in his hold before staring up at him. Your heart pounded in your chest as you swallowed nervously. You ran your hand up his torso ever so slowly before you stood on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his neck before you trailed a small peppering of kisses down to his collarbone.

"Ella," his voice was a ghost of a whisper in the air as his hands tightened on you.

You started to tug on his hoodie and he lifted it over his head before letting it fall to the floor. You ran your hand up his torso again but this time across his skin. You'd done it so many times but you never grew tired of doing it.

Lukas went to tug on your shirt but you pushed at his chest. Then you grabbed his hand and tugged him along with you. He followed you like a lost puppy with his hunched over stance and biting his lip as he played with the strands of your hair to keep from touching your skin.

You took him to the couch before you turned to him and pushed him onto it. He now sat there with his arms stretched across the back of the couch as he watched riveted while you undressed in front of him. The whole time he could not stop thinking about how perfect you were. It echoed in his thoughts.

When you were bare, you spoke in a firm tone that left no room for question and that Lukas thought was incredibly hot, "I want to have sex with you. Now."

Then you swallowed as you got nervous and started to cover your breasts, "I mean unless you don't..."

He grabbed your hand before you could even finish that sentence and pulled you on top of him. You sat on his lap and he stared at you intensely as he spoke with thinly-veiled desperation, "Yes, Ella. I would very much like to have sex with you."

"It'd be my first time," you said nervously.

"I know," he said in amusement.

"Will it hurt?"

"I'd never hurt you," he promised.

"Okay. I trust you," you said in that gentle quiet tone as you gazed at him with such softness. Trusting eyes. His chest ached.

Ella reached for his pants and started to tug at them. He lifted his hips and tugged them down a bit along with his boxers. His erection sprung out and you gazed at his cock as you chewed on your lip, "Will you even fit?"

"Yes, Ella," he said in amusement.

"Okay."

You placed your hands on his shoulders before you lined yourself up as you straddled him. You lowered yourself down until you felt the tip press against your entrance. You stopped. It felt like an eternity for Lukas but he let you decide. He wanted you to choose this.

Then you finally pressed down and the tip of his cock entered you. You gasped a little bit and your nails dug into his shoulders that you were holding. He groaned at the action and moved his arms from the back of the couch to place his hands on your hips.

It was just the tip of his dick and you felt stretched completely. But now that you felt a part of him, you wanted all of him. You sunk down further on his dick just a little bit and Lukas commented, "You look so pretty taking my dick."

"Want to take...all of you," you mumbled.

"Then take it."

So you sunk further on his dick and it burned the way he stretched you to your absolute max. You panted, "You're so big, Lukas."

"I know. You're doing so good. Good girl. Just a little more. You feel so good for Lukas."

The praise went right to your core and your pussy was so wet around him at this point that you were dripping. You sunk the rest of the way down on his cock, impaling yourself. His cock was buried inside you right to your core and you moaned. Tears left your eyes at how good he felt; you felt dizzy from the rush of the burning, the pining, that flowed through your veins. You felt hot and on fire. You wondered how the room wasn't disintegrating around you.

"You're so fucking tight. Feel so good," Lukas mumbled.

He stayed still while you adjusted to the size of him. One of his hands was drawing shapes on the small of your back while you panted, adjusting. But then the feeling of him inside you started to drive you crazy. You needed him to move, to do something.

Your head lulled to rest against his shoulder, "Lukas, please. Please. I need...I need..."

You didn't know what you needed. You'd never done this before. But you thought you might die if you didn't get what you needed from him. But he knew.

"I know."

He moved you immediately, pushing you onto your back on the couch while he hovered over you. He was still buried inside of you. Then he started to move, sliding his cock out until just the tip remained and then thrusting back in. Soft and slow. He watched, transfixed, as his dick disappeared in and out of you, finally fucking you like he'd wished for since he first met you.

His thrusts hit that spongy spot inside of you and you moaned. He got to a certain pace and rhythm that was quite gentle and you needed more.

"Lukas, I...Harder. Please."

His pace picked up and his thrusts became more brutal. Your moans filled the room and you came so quickly for him. More tears fell down your cheeks as you cried out his name. Your eyes rolled back as you came and your legs quivered from the force of your orgasm.

Your pussy clenched around his dick and it felt so nice; it was like you were floating and you felt so full, so complete. You wondered if you did this all the time that it would just fuck the depression right out of you. Was that a possible treatment option?

"Fuck," Lukas groaned. "You're so fucking tight."

You hummed as he continued to fuck you senseless. You came three more times before Lukas did. He groaned loudly as he rested his head against your chest, pushing into you with a few more sloppy thrusts before you felt it. His warm cum spilled into you and you gave a little mewl at the feeling; it felt nice.

Lukas was panting and he allowed his cock to soften before pulling out of you. Their combined cum started to leak out of you.

"Fuck," Lukas cursed. "Forgot a condom. Are you on the pill?"

You shook your head.

"You'll need to be on the pill."

"So you'll come in me again?" you ran your hands up his chest before leaning up to press a kiss against over his heart as you muttered against his skin. "Liked it."

He shook his head in amusement, "You're so fucked right now."

You bit your lip, "You want to do it again?"

"Yes, fuck," and he sunk his dick back inside of you, making you moan. He sloppily thrusted, getting his dick to harden, before he fucked you into oblivion.

You were sure that you were utterly ruined to anyone else now. It would only be him now. How could it feel this good with anyone else? What a shame you were just friends.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Five

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

Warnings: smut (18+), Lukas being an ass

Summary: Ella runs into her boss one night at a club.

When you woke up, you were in his bed alone covered with a blanket. You found him on the floor in his sleeping bag playing on his phone. You wondered how long he'd been waiting for you to wake up.

"Hi," you said sheepishly as you peeked over the bed at him.

"You're up," he put his phone away as he noted while standing up. "You really do sleep a lot."

"Why were you down there?"

"I, uh," he scratched the back of his head. "I didn't know if you'd want me to join you."

You smiled and his eyes immediately gazed at your lips as you responded, "I wouldn't have minded if you did."

"No?"

"No."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said before he changed the subject. "Breakfast is waiting by the way."

"Okay."

You got up and followed him to the kitchen. You latched onto his hand. When you both got to the kitchen, your eyes had widened a little bit at all the food laid out on the kitchen island.

"I didn't really know what you wanted so..." he shrugged but his eyes darted around nervously. "Um, yeah. I just sort of had my chef make everything he could think of. But...it's too much, isn't it?"

"Um, maybe a little bit," you teased a bit before you squeezed his hand. "But I feel extremely pampered. No one's ever put in this much effort."

"Yeah? Really?"

"Yeah," you smiled. "But tip for next time: chocolate pancakes are all that's needed."

"Oh," he said before grinning. "So there's gonna be a next time?"

Your eyes widened a bit, "I-I don't know."

"Okay. I'll take that," he nodded. It wasn't a no.

You shook your head before you went and started to make a plate. Then you took a seat at the island and Lukas sat next to you. They had barely started eating before Lukas got a call. So you ate in silence but it gave you time to admire him.

You didn't understand what had changed but you thought he looked really pretty. And you kept glancing at his hands, thinking of how they'd been on your bare skin. Why did you feel like you were on fire? You started thinking about last night and you wanted to do it again. Was it normal to want to do that so soon? It couldn't be, right?

But then Lukas hung up the phone and looked at you. He apologized but you were looking at him wide-eyed like you were a kid caught with  your hand in a cookie jar.

His stare had interrupted a very dirty thought. You never had all these thoughts before. You had all these urges, these wants, these desires. You felt like a side of you had come to life for the first time.

"What?" he questioned with a small grin, not understanding your look.

You floundered for a moment, struggling to speak. But then you swallowed and grabbed his hand. You decided to be brave as you grabbed it and placed it on your thigh before sliding it under his sweatshirt you wore.

"I want you again," you uttered.

"Ella," he groaned. "I have a meeting in thirty minutes and you're supposed to be on a plane."

"So?" you pouted. "Those things can wait. Don't you want me?"

Jesus. You were all wide-eyed and wanting. And you moved his hand further up your thigh, closer to your sex and he was absolutely done for. He moved his hand up now of his own accord and he pressed his thumb to your clit. He flicked it back and forth which made you gasp.

His hand then left you. You stared at him as he went to type on his phone. Were you not persuasive enough? Were you even seductive to the opposite sex? You felt a bit hurt and you looked away before you heard his phone being slapped on the table and then he was picking you up in his arms, practically throwing you over his shoulder.

"You're such a little minx," he commented before setting you on the couch. "You know the investors were already here and yet I cancelled the meeting just to finger-fuck you. Terribly unprofessional, Ella."

"Sorry," you muttered as climbed on top of you.

"No. Don't say that," he demanded. "I wanted to. I'm trying to say that you drive me fucking crazy."

"Oh," you blinked. "Is that good?"

"Yes. Very good," he moved the sweatshirt up to kiss a trail down your stomach. You sighed.

"Can I try something?" he spoke against your stomach before laying a kiss on your skin again.

You mumbled an uh-huh. Then his mouth moved down to your sex and he licked a stripe up the center. You gasped and squirmed a bit. Then his mouth latched onto your clit and he sucked on it for a moment. Then his tongue circled the little bundle of nerves before his tongue lapped at it, flicking it back and forth repeatedly.

You tangled a hand in his hair as you threw your head back. It felt so good and you let out little moans. As you were reaching your climax, your phone went off from within the pocket of the sweatshirt you were wearing.

Lukas pulled it out and chuckled, "Ooh, look it's Daddy calling."

"Lukas," you scolded at his excitement.

But you were kind of excited, too, as you felt your pussy clench around nothing. The thought of your father finding out what you were doing with the man he was selling his company to kind of turned you on. It would make your father furious but he would at least care. And you know he'd rant about how Lukas was older than you and that it was disgusting (which was hypocritical because he was fucking Kerry who was only a couple years older than you). And your siblings would consider you an enemy but at least you'd be considered at all.

"Do you want to answer it or do you want me to continue?" he asked before he dragged his tongue so slowly across your clit. You watched him do it as his eyes stayed glued to yours and it was so hot.

You moaned before you begged, "Continue. Please, Lukas."

You took the phone and practically threw it on the floor next to the couch. He chuckled again, "So desperate."

But he placated you and went back to pleasuring you with his mouth. You thought you saw him stick his hand down his pants to get himself off but you were too lost in your own bliss to care. You rocked your hips against him and the phone kept ringing on the floor as Lukas took you through multiple orgasms.

_____

You went back to London later that day. You eventually called your father and made up an excuse that your phone died. He wasn't happy that you didn't get any of the details of the deal ironed out with Lukas but you didn't care.

Two weeks flew by since that day and your father was coming to London. He was meeting with Lukas at the London office to get the details that you failed to get.

Your father wanted you in the meeting. So you sat waiting in a chair in the meeting room for Lukas to come and you were absolutely nervous. Because it was just last night that you had Lukas in your bed, making sounds you'd never heard come out of your mouth.

In fact, he'd been in your bed for the past week. The two of you had sort of developed a routine. Usually, he'd come see you while you were painting and wait on his phone until you were done. Then you'd go out to eat and he'd wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer towards him which you liked.

You liked feeling his body heat against yours. It made you feel comforted; it made you feel like you were a body to hold, like you were someone that somebody else wanted. You just liked being close to him.

The first time you ever ate dinner together you were bit appalled. He went on his phone while you talked. You had gone silent, crossing your arms, and he noticed.

"What?" he questioned.

"You're so rude," you gave the evil eye to his phone.

He chuckled, "I'm listening, though."

"Really?" you gave him an inquisitive look. "What did I say?"

He became tongue-tied before he put down his phone, "Alright. I'm sorry. You're right. It's rude."

You smirked a little bit in triumph before you went on talking. It was more like rambling. It was cute and adorable and he thought you riveting (even though you were just talking about work). He honestly did not expect you to get on to him about his phone; he'd done it with every girl ever and they just carried on talking but not you. You were sensitive and you had feelings and you were real.

He was starting to learn that he could not just fuck you and move on. He wasn't sure he would want to when it came to that point.

After dinner, you would take him home and he would practically attack you with lust, making you giggle at how desperate he was. And you would let him; it wasn't like you'd ever say no. It felt too good. He felt too good.

And after when you both cleaned up, you'd both play little games on your phones against each other. You both would laugh and you were having fun. When it got later, you'd cuddle up against him. He had frozen the first time you'd done it and you noticed.

"What?" you questioned.

"Nothing," Lukas shook his head and relaxed.

He had never been a cuddler and he never let anyone do so. Usually, he'd just fuck someone and then go to another room to sleep or he'd just have them leave or he'd just stay to his side of the bed. But you were completely different. He liked you pressed up against him. His chest filled with an ache as he gazed at you, that soft smile on your lips as your head rested over his heart, and realized what it was: affection.

He was so incredibly fucked.

And while you started to doze off, he stayed on his phone. You had gotten onto him about it.

"Are you going to sleep at all?" you questioned a bit in worry.

"Soon. I have to check a few more emails," he said as he rubbed your back before drawing circles again.

You had accepted that on the first night before sleeping like a baby snuggled up next to him. But after a couple more nights of that and finding out he'd stay up for hours, you realized he was a chronic worrier and he really did have trouble sleeping. So you took the phone one night and put it on the nightstand.

"Ella, I need that."

"It'll be waiting for you in the morning," you said before placing a soft hand on his cheek. "But you need to sleep."

He grumbled a little bit before he turned on his side towards you. He pulled you a little closer and tucked your head under his chin. One arm was wrapped around you and the other hand was entwined with yours. He noticed that you seemed to have a thing for holding hands so he held it.

You had fallen asleep almost immediately but his mind was too active. He played with your fingers and traced your palm to placate himself before he eventually fell asleep and being tangled up with you had been the best sleep he ever had.

You had learned something, too. He was incredibly clingy in his sleep. His arms would wrap around you and would not budge. It was like his sleeping mind was comforted by the fact that you wouldn't leave.

So after the incredibly domestic week, you were anxious about this meeting. You didn't really know how to act around him in a public setting.

Then Lukas entered and answered that question really quick. He greeted your father before your Logan gestured to you, "You remember my daughter."

"Oh, hey. Ella, right?" Lukas greeted you so nonchalantly you almost thought you really were a stranger to him. It almost stung to see him act like he didn't care about you.

"I-yes," you swallowed. "Ella."

"Ella," he uttered your name again with a small grin and his lower tone made you shiver. "So pretty."

And that was that. You were mostly ignored for the rest of the meeting. But Lukas took the seat closest to Logan but next to you.

Then underneath the table, you felt him place his hand on your thigh. You inhaled before you grabbed it and slowly entwined your hand with his. You felt warm and fuzzy holding his hand and you had to keep biting your lip to keep from smiling.

Lukas had been surprised. When he first placed his hand on your thigh, his intent had been, well, dirty. But you held his hand. And when he glanced at you, he knew that it made you happy (something so simple) so he let it lie there. He didn't attempt to try anything.

He merely ran his thumb back and forth on the back of your hand while his chest felt like a balloon filled with hot air. It was odd to feel the warmth of adoration settle into his chest. It felt like it could escape at any moment; like it was a bubble that could pop. He did not want it to. At the thought, he gripped your hand a little tighter.

_____

The meeting had ended within the blink of an eye. Nothing had really changed except you started visiting him in Sweden now, too.

Things had intensified between the two of you. They had gotten more intimate. One night, Lukas had begged to play with your boobs. Well, actually, he had done that multiple times but this time you had let him.

You didn't understand the fascination with your boobs. You didn't understand it was because it was your most noticeable feature; you had a size DD and they stood out on your tiny body. You never noticed the many looks men sent you, staring at your cleavage. You were oblivious to all that.

And you were mostly letting him touch them for him. You were so sure it wasn't going to do anything for you in terms of pleasure. How wrong you were.

Once he had gotten your bra off, he fondled them with his hands and it felt...nice. You sighed. He was squeezing them before he ran his thumbs back and forth over your nipples. Your breasts felt strangely stimulated and the areolae hardened. Then he put his mouth on one of them while fondling the other and...oh my god. He sucked on the supple skin before flicking the nipple with his tongue.

You moaned.

"Why does your mouth always feel good?" you honestly questioned; you were completely bewildered about it.

He chuckled before his voice lowered all seductive, "Why? I don't know. Why don't you tell me, Ella?"

He placed his mouth over your breast and sucked hard. You let out a little moan again and tangled a hand in his blonde hair. One of his hands traveled downwards before slipping a finger inside you. He pumped his finger in and out of you while sucking on your breasts.

It didn't long for you to orgasm and you cried out his name. Your back arched which put your tits on full display and made it seem like you were offering them to him. His mouth attached itself to one with new vigor and then he inserted a second finger into you.

You were a mess of moans beneath him and you had tears running down your cheeks. He thought you always looked so pretty like this, crying for the pleasure he gave you. And you went through another orgasm while he worshipped you.

In your haze, you finally gained the courage to see him. You had been growing curious but today you wanted to see him like he saw you. You gained a thrill at the thought, him seeing you, only him.

You pushed at his chest and pushed him onto his back to straddle him. You tugged at his pants, "I want to see you."

He lifted his hips a bit and he let you tug his pants down to his thighs. His erection sprung out and he put his hands behind his head as he watched you take him in.

The first thought you had was that he was huge. You didn't really know what huge would be considered to be. You thought maybe he was average in length. It was his girth that was ginormous. You thought he was at least as big as your closed fist but maybe bigger.

"Have you ever even seen a dick?" Lukas asked with a small, amused grin at your wide eyes.

"Once. In art school. A nude model. I would only glance periodically. I felt like it was rude," you explained and he chuckled.

"And am I bigger?" he mused as he stared at you a bit possessively. He didn't like the thought of you seeing anyone but him.

You blushed and nodded.

Then you hesitantly reached out and placed your hand around his shaft. Your hand didn't even go all the way around. Then you slowly moved your hand up, stroking him.

"God, Ella," his accent bled through as he groaned.

"What? Does it hurt?" you immediately retracted your hand.

"No. Fuck no," he replied.

You went back to stroking him. He was leaking pre-cum and you spread that over the tip and down his shaft. You added another hand and stroked his cock a couple of times before you stopped.

You hesitated before you asked, "Would my mouth feel good?"

He groaned, "You mean a blowjob?"

"Oh, so that's what that word means," you said. "I, yes, I want to give you a blowjob."

Your eyes peered at him, "But do you want one?"

"Ella, yes," he said impatiently. "Do you know long I've waited for this?"

"Well, Roman would say since you met me," you said absentmindedly as you went back to stroking him.

"That's true."

"You've wanted me since I met you?" you grinned and accidentally squeezed his cock.

He groaned and you let go slightly with a small frown, "Sorry."

"Yes, Ella. I wanted you. I still want you," Lukas clarified. "I was very fucking obvious that night, too. Very frustrating. But you're so fucking beautiful that it doesn't even matter."

"You think I'm beautiful?" you gazed at him like he was the sun.

"Have you seen you?" he questioned.

You hummed with a small smile before you stopped stroking him. You studied his cock. "I don't think you'll fit in my mouth but I'll try to give you a blowjob now."

You licked the tip of his cock first before you swirled your tongue around the tip. His pupils were fully blown as he watched you take his dick into your mouth. You really thought you wouldn't be able to but you opened your mouth as wide as it would go and he just barely fit. Your jaw was definitely going to hurt being stretched so wide.

His dick stuffed your mouth full as it filled every crevice of your mouth while you lowered your mouth down. You tried to take him as far as you could but once his dick reached the back of your throat, you started to gag. You pulled away quickly before you coughed.

You urge to gag went away before you stared determined. You wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel. You took him in your mouth again and you took all of him. You felt that gag reflex but you pushed it down even as your eyes watered. Once his dick hit the back of your throat, you stopped and then you started to bob your head up and down on his dick. You tried to suck as you did so.

"Ella," he let out a guttural moan.

You kind of liked this. It turned you on with all the little sounds you were eliciting from him. So you gave him a blowjob happily and it didn't take long before he blew his load into your mouth.

You gagged a little bit as it sprayed the back of your throat but you swallowed. You moaned at the sweet saltiness as you bobbed your head a couple more times, making more strings of cum shoot into your mouth. You swallowed everything he gave you.

Then you pulled your mouth away from his softening dick. You wiped the drool and saliva away from your mouth before you smiled at him like it was best thing you'd ever done, "You taste good."

"I kind of want to do it again," you mused before you looked away nervously. "I mean, if you want me to."

He stared at you like he'd won the damn lottery. He picked his words carefully, "Ella, I don't want anyone else to touch you."

"I wouldn't want anyone else to touch me," you smiled softly and kissed his cheek before snuggling him.

He wrapped his arms around you before he threw a blanket over the both of them. You pressed your head against his chest. He kissed the top of your head. The two of you only stayed there for a few moments, a few quiet content moments, before you got up and took a shower together.

_____

So things had accelerated between the two of you. You were quite happy. Then came a couple of days later at a club with Lukas. You were both drinking; he drank beer and you drank a mixed drink (you hated the taste of alcohol so everything had to be sweet to erase the taste of it).

At the club, you danced very seductively in the crowd while Lukas watched. He had only danced with you once which basically consisted of him standing there while you slowly grinded against his crotch. He placed his hands on your hips as you did so before he uttered in your ear as a warning, "Ella, I will drag you out of here."

That only made you giggle but you turned around nonetheless as you looped your arms around his neck, "Am I making you suffer?"

"More like the opposite."

That made you smile widely and Lukas couldn't help but kiss your cheek. Then your jaw. Then your neck. He would leave hickeys but you didn't care. You pushed at him once he went lower, "I think it's time you go watch now."

He hummed but did as you said. And you danced for a while, feeling his eyes on you that made you feel hot and bothered. That made you feel warm and fuzzy. His eyes made that you feel things.

You couldn't take it anymore and you left the dancing the crowd. You found him at the darkened couch in the back. You straddled him.

"I could feel your eyes on me," you had a dazed smile.

"Why would I take my eyes off of you?"

"I don't know," you said a bit nervously as you drew circles into his shoulder with your finger. "But do you want to leave now so that way...you can have your eyes on me without this dress?"

"Yes. Now. Immediately."

You giggled at his desperation, "Okay. I'll go close out our tab."

"Ella, you don't..." he went to argue but you already left him to go to the bar.

You closed the tab at the bar but right when you went to go back to Lukas, you felt your ass get grabbed. You flinched as you heard your boss, "I knew that was you, little Roy. I'd know that ass anywhere."

You didn't want to be touched by anyone but Lukas. You had done a good job at evading your boss once you started your escapades with Lukas. But apparently you could not evade him tonight.

"Please, stop touching me. It's inappropriate."

"With the way you were dancing, you were begging to be touched," he smirked. "Get that ass over here."

You went to flee but he grabbed you by your hips. He forcibly pulled you back towards him until your ass was against his crotch. You could feel his erection and it made you frown in disgust.

"Gonna have you bent over tonight, baby," he said before he started to lay open mouth kisses on your exposed neck. You squirmed but he had you locked in a solid hold.

You didn't know what to do. Your chest was heaving. You felt trapped. You felt trapped. Your body just seemed to freeze. You were panicked and your body froze.

You were completely aware of him though and once you froze he seemed to take that as compliance. His hands traveled to your ass and squeezed it. His solid hold was gone and your body unfroze. You squirmed again and you broke out of his grasp.

You turned to him in fury before kneeing him where the sun didn't shine. He fell to his knees, cradling that sensitive area.

"You are so fucking fired, little Roy."

"Oh, really? Cause last I checked it was my name on the building and you just sexually assaulted me," you glared at him. "You should be ashamed of yourself to be such a despicable human being."

You turned and rushed through the crowd. You went to find Lukas but you did not find him where he previously was. You searched around until you found him talking to a pretty brunette. You went to him and you tugged on his hand, "Can we get out of here now?"

He leaned down so you could hear him properly before he uttered with a condescending grin, "And why would I want to go anywhere with a whore?"

You were stunned speechless. He stared at you with such callousness that it didn't seem real. Were you having a nightmare? Was it a mental breakdown?

Lukas was mad at you. He didn't want to admit that he was hurt. He'd seen you. From his point of view, it looked like you let your boss feel you up. You did freeze after all. And his chest ached at the thought of you being someone else's.

"So because my boss touches me without my permission, I'm a whore?" you stared at him with tears in your eyes.

"He does what?"

"Oh my god. Everyone's going to think that, aren't they?" you continued to ramble. "I'll be labeled a whore even though..."

"No, Ella. Fuck. Don't listen to me," he grabbed your shoulders. "I was mad and I say shit I don't mean. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

You practically threw yourself at him, hugging him. You buried your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and held you.

You took deep calming breaths as you breathed in his scent. Your breaths evened out after a couple of moments. You pulled away a little bit before staring at him, analyzing him, "I didn't think you could be mean."

"Ella..." he became tongue-tied. "I was mad at you."

"So you become really mean when you're mad?"

"I...Yes. Yeah," he reached out to caress your cheek ever so softly before he demanded. "Forgive me."

You sniffled before you nodded. Of course you would forgive him. You wouldn't tell him because you didn't really know what they were but he'd become like something you needed. You needed him because he wanted you and you'd never been wanted before or at least not in the way he made you feel wanted.

So you grabbed his hand and went home with him. He did not touch you that night. You did not want to be touched. He just held you. And you clung to him because he was to you now what your father had always been: gravity.

[azzie89]

Gravity-Chapter Four

(A Lukas Matsson Fanfic)

Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four

Summary: Ella goes to London and gets even closer with Lukas.

Warnings: smut (fingering), OC has harmed herself before and has depression

You couldn't help it.

It was like a drug, a need, an addiction. You wanted his approval so desperately. Approval from your father. It was why you grew up being the "good girl." You never rebelled, you never stayed out late, you never got a boyfriend, and you stayed focused on school.

But you never got any praise from your father for doing all those things. You realized it was the bare minimum for him and only the extraordinary would impress him. You didn't know what that would be. You didn't know if you had any extraordinary qualities to offer but you just wanted him to look at you like he loved you. Just once.

So when your father called you in and offered you a job, you took it. It was a position in London.

"I think we should get your feet wet in the European division. What do you think?"

"I-I think it's great, Dad," you faked a smile.

Of course you smiled. Even though you hated everything to do with business, you smiled. You smiled because he was talking to you. He was acknowledging you. It was everything you wanted...only for him to send you away.

You were going to London. It felt awfully like when he sent you to Uncle Ewan. Out of sight, out of mind. But this time you had a chance to prove yourself. You could do it. You could do it.

So you were now in London with no contact with any of your family. You were learning from the head of the London office and were basically his assistant. He didn't treat you very well; often times he would grope your ass and you were too afraid to speak up.

If you spoke up, wouldn't you be seen as weak? And what would your father think? Would he be embarrassed? Especially so soon after the cruises scandal. Yes, yes, it was too soon. Yes, it was best to stay quiet.

And you felt utterly trapped. You could feel that suffocating feeling closing around your neck like a noose. It was what led you to the incident last year; the incident that left a long, deep scar on your arm.

But you were determined to ignore it. You wouldn't do it. You would be good. You wouldn't be a complete embarrassment because that was what those feelings were: embarrassing, irrational, childish, and stupid. They were a weakness and you would not be weak.

So soon after moving to London, it was your birthday. Your father had called you and so had Connor but the rest of your siblings seemed to have forgotten. You deluded yourself into thinking they were just busy and they'd call tomorrow. Of course they would, you told yourself in your head.

But even though it was your birthday, you were working. You were setting up schedules and writing agendas and it was late. That was when Lukas called. He wished you happy birthday. It made a goofy smile form on your face and a fuzzy, warm feeling to encompass your whole body.

"How did you know? I didn't tell you," your cheeks were red.

"I had to text your brother about it. I didn't like that but whatever," you could see him shrug in the FaceTime call. "You know there is zero fucking info on you on the Internet almost like you don't exist or something."

"Oh, yeah. Well, don't you know that I'm least interesting Roy?" you cracked a joke but he didn't laugh.

"But that's just not fucking true," he said before he changed the subject. "Where are you at? Why does it look like you're at work?"

"Because I am. I'm working."

"But it's your birthday?"

"Yes, and? I still have to work."

"No. No," he denied with a small grin. "You're the princess. You don't have to do shit."

You rolled your eyes, "If you say so."

"I do say so. Once I take over, you're never lifting a single pretty little finger," Lukas said.

You smiled a bit, "And what would I be doing?"

"I don't know. Something happy and you wouldn't be in fucking London," Lukas promised before he changed subjects again. "Are you almost done though with whatever it is? Because I, uh, I have a surprise for you."

He formed a mischievous grin now while biting his lip and you blushed, "You got me a gift?"

"You think I wouldn't?"

You didn't respond to say yes, I didn't think you'd get me anything because no one else ever does. That was a depressing thought and you didn't want to make anything with Lukas depressing. "Alright. Okay. I guess I'll be done."

His surprise was actually at an address he gave her. Lukas said to call him back after you got there. You had your driver take you there and once you got out, there was a woman waiting for her with paperwork.

"Are you Ella Roy?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Just sign right here and this will be all yours."

"I'm sorry but this?"

"The art studio that Mr. Matsson procured for you."

You had blinked in shock before signing the form she wanted. She gave you the keys and everything. Then you went inside and stared at the wide open space that was now all yours. There were giant windows in the back and you went to stare out of them before you called Lukas back (not FaceTime). Your heart was beating so fast you swore it was going to beat right out of your chest.

"You bought me an art studio?" those were the first words that came flying out of your mouth.

"You like it?" you could hear how proud he was over the phone and you knew he was grinning.

"I-I do. Yes," you swallowed. "Thank you but..."

"No. Not a but," Lukas stated. "This makes you happy, ja?"

"I-Yes. Yes," you answered nervously. You struggled with happiness and you found you never failed to feel a small semblance whenever you talked with Lukas. Perhaps you were just scared of letting it in. You didn't know what it felt like to have your heart beat fast with bliss and it was scary to feel something unknown. But you liked it. You really liked it.

"Then that's all that matters."

You didn't argue. You just sighed in content and let your heart beat wildly. Happiness, you mused, perhaps that's really all that mattered in life. Maybe you should start to realize that instead of living for something that doesn't offer you any. But, baby steps.

You became so much happier after Lukas got you that art studio. You spent nearly all your free time in the art studio. You started to draw again before you started to paint, too. On your first painting, you had a stupid smile on your face as you used nearly every color you had; the colors made you happy. They were bright and beautiful and you couldn't help but feel that way.

You started to even take days off just so you could create art in your studio. Then Lukas came to visit.

You showed him all of your creations, flitting around like an excited kid. He noticed you didn't look as tired anymore and the shadows under your eyes were less visible. But that didn't matter, you always looked gorgeous.

"What do you think?" you asked, chewing on your lip as you gazed at him anxiously.

"I think you're fucking talented like your bride friend said," Lukas said.

You smiled bashfully before Lukas found the one painting that was covered in a sheet, "What's this one?"

He went to reach to pull the sheet off but you smacked his hand down, "No. It's not finished. It'll look bad. You can't see it till it's done."

"Wow. So bossy," he smirked. "Fine, I won't look at it."

You looked away, a bit embarrassed. But then Lukas came to you and put his hand on the small of your back. He changed the subject as he scratched at his chest with his other hand.

"You wanna go get lunch? I'm starving."

You leaned into his touch a bit and Lukas started to draw circles over your shirt as you responded, "Oh, yeah. Okay. We can do that."

"We can?" he teased. "That fits your approval, princess?"

You smacked his shoulder with red cheeks, "Lukas! I'm not that bossy."

"No?" he grinned before he agreed as he kissed the top of your head. "No. But it wouldn't matter. You can boss me around, princess."

You flushed again as you left to go eat with him.

You'd only been in London for a month before your father sent you to Lukas to work out some of the details of the deal. You didn't like it. You didn't want to talk business with Lukas. You didn't want to associate something you hated with someone you really liked.

Lukas treated with you in his house and it felt very private. Intimate. No one else was around. You sat across from him on a different couch and he was all calm and collected while you felt like you were about to break out in hives. It didn't help that your boss (technically) had cornered you beforehand at work and threatened you to talk him up to Lukas, to put him in a favorable light.

You felt suffocated. You barely said two words to Lukas once you saw him. And you still weren't talking now that you were sitting.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his eyes peered at you. His cold, haunting blue eyes that made you feel all warm and fuzzy. You wanted to reach out and hold his hand. You wanted contact.

You looked away. "I...No."

You opened up your folder full of the details you were supposed to go over but your heart was racing. You looked out the tall glass windows. You dissociated until your heart started to calm down.

"Ella," you heard the call of your name and you looked back at him.

"Can we just...not? I'll tell my dad I couldn't get anything out of you and he'll have to do it himself, alright?" you spoke. "But I don't...please don't make me."

"I'd never make you do anything," he said so simply.

You felt like you could breathe again now as you took long, slow breath. You looked out the windows again and it was silent for a moment before you spoke, "Can we go outside?"

He was quick to placate you but you didn't notice that he was speaking faster (more nervous), "Yeah. Yes. If you'd like."

"I'd like to."

So they went outside and they walked around. It was a bit chilly out and you hadn't brought a coat so you borrowed one of his. It easily swallowed you whole. You didn't notice that Lukas kept glancing at you while they walked, a bit lustful and wanting as he gazed at you appreciatively in his clothes.

You had stopped on a hill. He had a nice view and you liked it. He stood beside you for a while before he grabbed your hand, entwining it with his. You froze a little bit.

"Is that...okay?" he asked, he peered at you intensely.

You nodded and you squeezed his hand. You didn't know how badly you wanted to hold his hand until you were actually holding it. It felt like a lifeline and you didn't let go even as the two of you went back inside. He brought you on a tour of his house.

You finally got to his bedroom and you recognized it from some of the photos he would send you. It was very modern and bare without any sort personal accents. There was a small desk against the wall with his laptop and some books. You noticed he had Great Expectations by Charles Dickens face down and open to a page. Then there was his bed. It was massive.

"Did you have to like special order one because you're so tall?"

"Yes. Complete bullshit but whatever," he replied. "And I don't know if I like it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't know if it's the best. I want only the best," his eyes followed you as you walked around.

You finally noticed a sleeping bag next to his bed, "Lukas? Really? You don't sleep on the mattress here, either?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I told you," he said as you took a seat at the edge of the bed. "I want the best of everything."

"That's so stupid," you shook your head as you laid back on the bed to test it out.

"I disagree," he said as he stared at you lying on his bed. Your hair was sprawled around you and with the image of you on his bed, he wasn't sure he was ever going to get rid of the mattress now.

He only slept in the mattress the once but as he stared at you he had no desire to sleep in it; he wanted to break it in. He bit his lip as he thought of fucking you and his pants grew tighter as his dick started to form an erection.

He stood right in front of you and you felt your leg brush his sweatpants. You looked at his eyes that were gazing at you so intently that you couldn't help but blush and smile. You found smiling easy to do in his presence.

"Come here," you patted the space next to you as you called.

He quickly took the space next to you, lying there. You glanced at him for a moment before your eyes stared up at the ceiling. His eyes stayed glued to you.

"It's comfy. I don't know how you don't like it."

"I don't know. Maybe I need some convincing."

"Like what?"

"Can I touch you?"

Your breath left your lungs. You stayed staring at the ceiling for a long moment before you slowly turned your eyes to meet that intense blue-eyed gaze. His eyes were so hypnotizing and you swallowed before you said so quietly, "I don't think my dad would like it."

"Fuck your dad. What do you want?"

"It's not very professional," you argued again, ignoring the question.

"Ella," he practically whined.

You stared at him again and it was a long moment before you spoke, giving him permission in a voice so soft that it could break like glass, "You can touch me."

He gained a small victorious grin as he turned onto his side. You thought he'd reach for your ass or something like your boss but that was not what he did. His hand moved slowly to creep under your shirt as your breaths came out erratically fast now. Your shirt was pushed up as his hand smoothed across your stomach. With the combo of his large hand and your tiny waist, his hand reached completely across your stomach.

His hand felt possessive and warm and...it felt nice. You never had this type of skin on skin contact before. It drove you completely crazy as he let it lie there, lingering, and your heart beat so quickly in equal amounts excitement and anxiety.

"Has anyone ever touched you?" he questioned.

"No."

"Have you touched yourself?"

You shook your head with a sheepish look but Lukas only gained a look of delight as he questioned, "So you're all fucking mine?"

He moved his hand then to place slow, sensual kisses down your stomach. You let out a little gasp and your hands fisted the sheets.

His lips stopped as he muttered against your skin, "Answer me."

Feeling his breath on your skin made goosebumps form and you were sure you would never feel this way with anyone. You were his.

"Yes, I'm yours. I'm yours."

He grinned and he continued his trail of kisses down your stomach. He gave a little lick across your belly button and you let out a soft sigh. His kisses stopped once he reached the waistband of your skirt.

He unbuttoned it and unzipped it slowly before starting to pull it down. You lifted your hips so he could do so. Then he had to pull down the black stockings you had on underneath and your panties were pulled away along with them down to your knees. Your lower half was now bare to him and you immediately closed your legs on instinct.

He chuckled as he moved to stand. He moved them apart and took his place between them. His hand smoothed down your stomach again before continuing all the way down this time. His hand stilled as his thumb found the red bundle of nerves; he flicked it and your hips jerked as you gasped.

"You're so sensitive," he chuckled. "You still want me to touch you?"

"Yes, Lukas. Please."

His thumb grazed your clit again and the sensation made you let out a low moan. He circled it slowly over and over again. A foreign wave of heat crept up, building inside of you. You wanted to cry from the pleasure of it all, tell him to stop now because you knew there would never be anything better than this. You knew that he had ruined you to any other pleasure besides the one he could provide.

But you couldn't possibly tell him to stop, it felt too good. So you fell and fell and fell into this burning heat and you cried out his name as you felt it consume your mind.

You felt your first orgasm as the heat started to leave your body. You felt like you became the smoke that was lifted into the clouds. You felt high, intoxicated, on cloud nine.

He continued to play with that bundle of nerves that was now overstimulated and your hips bucked against him. He placed a hand beside your head as he said, "Tell me to stop."

But you didn't. You wouldn't. He knew that. He continued to play with your clit as you squirmed and it didn't take long before you went through a second orgasm that made your legs tremble and your eyes roll back. And this time you did cry as tears left your eyes from good it felt.

"Are you fucking crying?" he stared in amusement. "I haven't even put my dick inside you."

You groaned a bit at the thought of him being inside you and your pussy throbbed for him, ached for him, becoming even more wet. You didn't know an ache could ever be so primal or sensual.

But the thought of having sex with him made you nervous. You immediately closed your legs and panicked. You pushed at his chest as your own heaved, "Lukas, I don't...I'm not...ready."

"I know. It's alright. Calm down," he caressed your cheek and you leaned into it, sighing a bit. You placed your hand over his and kept it there before you played with his fingers.

He kissed your stomach again as he asked, "Can I still touch you?"

It took you a moment before you nodded. You opened your legs for him again and he kept one hand in hers while the other went back to explore her lower regions. You gasped once he touched you again.

"You're still so sensitive," he chuckled as his fingers swirled around that bud of nerves.

You squeezed his hand so tightly once you orgasmed again. Once it had reached nightfall, you were left quivering beneath him from how many times he made you come with just his fingers (he even penetrated you with them). You were so blissed out at the end and you crashed so fast that you were so sleepy but you remembered him cleaning you up.

You thought you must have dozed off at that point because the next time you woke, Lukas was calling your name. You hummed and opened your eyes to see him offering you a sweatshirt.

"Do you want to change?"

You nodded but you didn't move. He had to pull into a sitting position. You went to try to take your shirt off but he had to help you. As he did so, you stared at his eyes but they were looking at your bra-covered breasts.

You pouted tiredly, "Lukas!"

His eyes quickly averted themselves as he bit his lip sheepishly, "Sorry."

Then he shoved his hoodie on over your head. After it swallowed you whole, Lukas wiped the tears from your face so gently before he kissed your forehead. You felt so content in that moment that you fell right asleep in his hold.