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hxneyandespressx · 4 years ago

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we were both young when i first saw you

summary: jj and elle are friends, but are too scared to tell each other "i love you". that was until it was too late to even say goodbye

pairing: jennifer jareau x elle greenaway (jelle)

word count: 6k

a/n: inspired by love story (taylor's version)

☆。*。☆。

The evening sun slowly went below the horizon as a young blonde girl biked on the dark cobblestone path. A reusable tote bag, filled with organic produce, hung on her right shoulder as she weaved between people, trying to get home before dinnertime. Seeing a small bookstore up ahead, JJ pedaled harder. She parked her mint green bike against the side of the bookstore and entered the small boutique. The bell on top of the door rang, and an elderly man popped out from a room behind the cash register. He looked around to see who came in and smiled when his eyes landed on JJ.

“Ah– Miss Jareau. How may I be of your service today?” Alistair the bookstore owner greeted her, his thick Glaswegian accent rolling off his tongue. JJ smiled as she walked up to the cash register. She pulled out a brown leather-bound book and placed it on the countertop.

“Is there anything new this week?” JJ asked politely.

“Lemme see what I have in the back, lassie.” The elderly man shuffled back into the storage room, carrying the book JJ gave back. To pass the time waiting, JJ walked between the tall oak shelves, filled with wonderful stories to be read, to see any books she might be interested in. As she slowly walked down the aisle, her curious blue eyes spotted a rather peculiar book. Detailed artwork covered the book’s spine, intriguing JJ. The young teen gently pulled the book out from the shelf and brushed off the dust with her hand. Intricate floral illustrations decorated the hardcover. The burgundy color of the book complimented the floral illustrations. In gold lettering, the title of the book reflected the clementine sunlight coming in from the window. Romeo & Juliet. The blonde girl had heard of the tragedy play, but she never got the chance to read it.

JJ jumped when Alistair called out her name. She quickly put back the book and gathered her things. Coming out of the aisle, the young girl waved for the bookstore owner’s attention.

“Ali, I’m right here.” JJ called out as she approached the front of the store.

“Lassie, don’t just go and disappear on me like that.” Alistair said as he took a seat on the wooden stool.

“Sorry,” JJ apologized sheepishly. As she looked down, the book in Alistair’s hands caught JJ’s eyes. “What’s that you got?”

“This… is the new book I recommend you read this week.” The elderly man handed the rather thick book over to the blonde girl. JJ took her time inspecting her new read. Light scratches adorned the deep brown leather cover. The beautiful spine binding held the book together. Her thumb grazed over the gold title: Wuthering Heights. JJ smiled widely as she was excited to read her new book.

“Thank you, Alistair.” JJ thanked the bookstore owner as she made her way to the front door.

“Anytime, lassie,” The Scotsman waved goodbye to the blonde girl. “Say “hi” to your mum for me!”

“I will!” JJ said with excitement as she walked out of the bookstore. Feeling all giddy, the young girl carefully placed the book in her tote bag, trying not to crush the produce. She put on her helmet and started to make her way back home.

As JJ continued down the road, her ears caught the whispers of the townspeople. Snippets of how two girls were sneaking around, at odd hours of the day. The gossiping never bothered JJ, ever since five years ago. Some things would never change in this old town, JJ thought. However, one piece of gossip caught the young girl’s attention. Is Jennifer… you know… gay? This caused the young girl to gasp in surprise and stop her bike. If it came to light that Jennifer Jareau was gay, the whole town would shun her. The neighbors, everyone at school, her friends, Alistair, her parents. She can’t let that happen.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, JJ continued her trip back to her house. Once arriving, JJ parked her bike against the porch railing and entered her home. Her mother greeted her while her father sat silently in the living room, reading the Farmers’ Almanac. The blonde girl ignored her father as she took out her book from the tote bag and handed the vegetables to her mother.

“I’ll help once I put this book away.” JJ said, walking up the creaky staircase. Her mother nodded her head and went into the kitchen. JJ continued her way up until she entered her bedroom. A mahogany tall bookcase in the far right corner was showered in all the medals and participation trophies JJ won since playing soccer as a child. Coffee mugs cluttered her working desk. Pillows of different sizes piled on her medium-sized bed. CDs of various musical artists surrounded the small stereo system beside the bed. A large N*SYNC poster plastered on her wardrobe’s open door. Decorated simply, with a few more posters scattered sporadically, the bedroom was fit for a small-town girl.

JJ placed her new addition on her messy bed and proceeded to change into cleaner clothes for the evening. After changing, the blonde girl went to the window that was closest to the house beside hers. Moving the sheer white curtain and looking through the window, she hoped to see someone special in the house. But, alas, she wasn’t there. Maybe she’s busy, JJ thought. The sad girl exited her room, went down the wooden stairs, and into the kitchen to help her mother with preparing dinner.

Dinner went quietly as usual. The Jareaus weren’t the type to strike a conversation over dinner, not once since the tragic event that shook the family apart. JJ took away the dirty dishes and started to wash them, as it was her turn to do her chore. After washing the dishes, JJ headed up to her room for the night. She said “goodnight” to both of her parents before skipping up the stairs in excitement.

Closing the door gently, the blonde teen placed her back against the door and slowly let herself sink to the ground in a crouching position. She was glad that the day went all right. Her parents hadn’t argued, yet, so JJ was feeling content at this moment. Wanting to keep this mood going, JJ got up and went to her bed, grabbing the new book she got earlier in the evening. She laid on her bed, feeling comfortable, and cracked her book open.

A few hours went by and it was nearing midnight. The whole house was quiet, except for one room. Hey There Delilah softly played in the background as JJ was reading chapter four of Wuthering Heights. The blonde girl was enjoying her silence until she heard a small bang on her window. She sat up scared, her heart racing due to anxiety. Then, another bang on the window was heard. JJ got up from her bed and slowly walked to the window. She cracked the window open and stuck her head out, searching for the perpetrator. The warm summer air gently blew onto JJ’s face as the blonde girl squinted her baby blues. Just as she was leaving the window, her eyes caught a tall silhouette standing in the middle of the pathway between the houses.

Her dark chocolate locks gently swayed along with the summer wind. A Guns n’ Roses t-shirt hung loose on her lean frame. Dirty shoelaces left untied, lying on the dry clay soil. She was tossing a pebble into the air and catching it.

The girl waved a hand up in the air with excitement, calling out JJ’s name.

“JJ.” The girl yelled, the sound ringing into the night.

“Shush– our parents will hear you.” JJ hissed at her. The girl softly chuckled at the blonde.

“Meet me at our spot.” This was the last thing the mysterious girl said before disappearing into the darkness.

JJ smiled when the girl mentioned “our spot”. She was waiting all night to escape her house to spend some time with her favorite person. Closing the window, JJ turned off the music and lights. She hid some pillows to create a silhouette of a body under the comforter, making her cover for the night. The blonde girl grabbed her denim jacket and slowly opened her door, hoping that it wouldn’t creek into the pin-drop silence. She quietly tip-toed her way down the stairs, entering the kitchen. Opening the mint green door that led to the backyard, JJ stopped for a moment to make sure no one was awake. When it was clear, the blonde girl stepped out into the backyard, closing the door behind her.

A wide grin appeared on her face as JJ jogged into the woods. She made her way through the dark forest swiftly, as if she knew the land like that back of her hand. Seeing a sliver of moonlight ahead, JJ quickened her step while swatting away at any tree branches. Exiting the forest, the blonde made her way into a secret garden. This place was discovered one night by JJ and her best friend, when they were looking for a place to be alone together.

Making her way into the garden, JJ picked off a light pink rose from one of the bushes. Trying her best not to prick her fingers from the thorns, the blonde girl continued her way to search for her friend. And soon enough, JJ saw her, eyes closed while patiently waiting and leaning against the tall oak. Taking a small breath, the blonde girl walked up to her and laid her head on the mysterious girl’s lap.

Feeling a heavy pressure on her legs, the sleepy girl woke up in surprise, but calmed down when she saw JJ laying her lap.

“JJ.” A soft smile appeared on the brunette’s face.

“Elle,” JJ softly said. “Here, a flower for you.” The blonde girl lifted a beautiful pink flower in the air. Wanting to give the rose, she tried to pick off the thorns to make it safe to handle, while trying her best not to prick her fingers. Once done, JJ tucked some hair behind Elle’s ear while placing the pink rose there.

“There. Beautiful as always.” The blonde girl smiled widely as Elle looked away, a peachy blush forming on her cheeks.

“Anyways, how was your day? I missed you.” JJ said while twiddling with her thumbs.

“The usual. Fixing cars at my dad’s garage shop.” Elle said nonchalantly, folding her arms behind her head.

“Ooo what a tough guy.” JJ teased the brunette. Elle rolled her eyes at the cheesy line.

“How was your day, by the way?” Elle asked as she gently brushed JJ’s soft golden locks.

“I got a new book from Alistair!” JJ cheerfully said.

“Which one?” Elle asked.

“Wuthering Heights.” JJ stated. Elle chuckled when she heard the blonde girl’s answer.

“You do love your classics.” the brunette said lovingly.

“Said from the girl who thinks reading is boring.” JJ retorted back, sticking her tongue out to say I told you so.

“It is!” Elle exclaimed. “But I would only be interested in books if you read them to me.”

JJ raised her left eyebrow quizzically. Does this mean she likes my voice?, JJ thought.

“Would you?” JJ said, feeling amused.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” Elle stated as she did the crossing motion over her heart.

The two girls continued their conversation for a while longer. They went from talking about literature to what they should do together next week. As JJ rattled on making a trip to Lake Erie, an idea popped into Elle’s mind. The brunette wiggled underneath the blonde girl’s head and made her way over to a few bushes, blooming with flowers.

Elle grabbed a couple of flowers from the bushes and some ivy from the iron gate next to them. After gathering her materials, the brunette girl walked back to her spot next to JJ. She started to make something out of them, knotting and tying them together with such skill. JJ sat up from her previous position and looked at her friend curiously, watching her hands working diligently. White gardenias and yellow stargazer lilies were tied together with strings of ivy, forming a flower crown. Elle smiled softly at her creation and gently placed it on JJ’s head.

“There. Fit for a princess.” Elle stated. She smiled softly at the sight in front of her.

“Elle…” JJ said with so much adoration in her voice. A deep peachy blush formed on Elle’s cheeks, not from embarrassment, but the fact that her best friend and crush liked what she made.

“I made it because it’s fun and I know you look good with flowers.” Elle explained. JJ brought Elle into a warm embrace, their blonde and brunette locks getting tangled together. The two girls stayed in the embrace for a while. The brunette girl’s nose got stuck in the tangles of champagne blonde locks. Taking a quick sniff, Elle caught the scent of peaches, recognizing that it was JJ’s favorite shampoo.

“Now It’s my turn to make you one.” JJ said with excitement, pulling away from the hug.

“No.” Elle deadpanned. The brunette was not the one for flowers. She only made the flower crown for her friend.

“Come on! Let me make you one!” The blonde pouted.

“Okay,” Elle said as she had her hands up as a joke, pretending she got caught for a crime she committed. “ Surprise me.”

JJ huffed and got up from the ground, dusting away at any grass that clung to her muscular legs. She walked over to a few bushes far away from Elle, thinking and deciding which flowers to choose. Once she picked her choices, JJ happily walked back to where Elle was. The blonde girl sat down and got to work, hoping to make her friend the best for crown ever. She tried to sow cornflowers and dwarf sunflowers together with strings of ivy that got leftover. Getting frustrated, JJ tried her best attempt at making a flower crown.

Elle was amused by JJ’s attempt at a flower crown, but not wanting to upset her, the brunette kept her mouth shut. JJ bit on her lip to keep herself from swearing as she was having trouble tying the ivy close, to make a circle. After a few attempted tries, the blonde finally got the final knot tied.

“Tada!” JJ exclaimed as she lifted the flower crown in the air. Feeling proud of herself, she gently placed the headdress onto Elle’s head. “Now we can be princesses together.”

“You know I’m only doing this for you, right?” Elle stated.

“I know.” JJ said as she stuck her tongue out, just to be silly. Elle laughed at the silly attitude JJ put on. The laughter slowly died as Elle leaned back against the tall oak tree. JJ sat across from the brunette as the two of them chatted the hour away. As it neared 2:30 am, a twinkling light shot through the night sky caught JJ’s eye.

“Elle! Lookup!” JJ excitedly said as she pointed at the dark abyss. The brunette girl squinted her eyes as she searched for what JJ was talking about. Just then, another twinkling light darted across the sky. Elle puffed some air out in surprise.

“Well, what do you know? We get a show tonight.” Elle joked as she slowly got up from her position. Brushing the grass clippings off her shorts, Elle held out her hand for JJ to take.

“Come on, let’s watch the sky.” JJ smiled as she took Elle’s hand. The girls walked onto the open grass patch, trying to take their seats to watch the surprise meteor shower.

Both the girls laid on the soft dewy grass as they watched the twinkling night sky. The moonlight shined brightly down upon them, acting as a spotlight.

As Elle looked at the sky, JJ was looking at the brunette. The bright moonlight illuminated the brunette’s face, showing off the little freckles that painted her soft face. Her chocolate locks swayed along with the warm August air. She smelt like lemongrass and sleep. To JJ, it was like she was admiring her from afar, like a polaroid picture hanging on her bedroom wall.

Slowly but surely, the blonde girl moved her hand towards Elle’s, gently grabbing the brunette’s open hand. JJ’s cold left hand held onto Elle’s warm palm as a smile appeared on the brunette’s face, her head turning to face the blonde. JJ felt so lucky to call Elle her best friend, but she wanted something more. But she doesn’t want to break the friendship they currently have. Her heart ached every second when Elle wasn’t hers.

JJ’s baby blue eyes stared into Elle’s own deep russet eyes. They observed each other’s eyes for a few moments before tearing their gazes apart to look up at the twinkling night sky. Both the girls continued to stargaze in silence, the crickets in the grass playing their nightly song.

“I wish we could escape this town for a little while. Just you and I.” Elle stated as she stared at the night sky. She wasn’t looking for an answer, as she knew that JJ wanted that too.

“If we were to get out of this old town, how would you imagine our lives together?” JJ asked as Elle’s statement piqued her interest.

“Perhaps an apartment in a city of our choosing. Preferably in Manhattan. I come home, bringing you flowers while you are baking cookies.” Elle explained. A soft pink blush formed on JJ’s cheeks, feeling warm as she heard Elle’s plans about their future together. She too hoped that one day they get to leave Pennsylvania together and live happily ever after.

“What about a pet?” JJ asked.

“What about it?” Elle asked, feeling indifferent about having a pet.

“Maybe… a turtle?”

“Why a turtle?”

“Because they are cute, duh.”

“And if we were to get one, what would you name it?”

“Henry,” JJ stated. Elle laughed quietly, hoping not to alert anyone. “What? I think it’s a cute name.” the blonde huffed, pretending to feel offended.

“I’m sorry.” Elle said as her laughs died out.

“You’re let off the hook for this one, Greenaway.” JJ jokingly said. The two girls continued their stargazing “date” with little blips of conversations here and there. JJ felt content being with Elle and she hoped that nothing would tear them apart.

JJ yawned softly as it was getting very late. She let go of Elle’s hand and slowly got up from the ground, dusting off any grass that clung to her legs. Elle softly smiled at the cute yawn that JJ just had as she stared up at the blonde girl.

“What?” JJ asked.

“Oh– uh nothing,” Elle said passively. The brunette girl also got up from the ground, making herself neat so she wouldn’t track grass and dirt into her house.

“Let’s go home.” Elle held out her hand, hoping that JJ would take it. Indeed did JJ take it because she may never know when she would see Elle last. The two girls took their time walking through the garden, almost acting like a couple. They got out of the garden, carefully closing the wrought iron gate, hoping the creaking metal wouldn’t wake anyone. Making their way through the dark woods, Elle and JJ continued to hold their hands to feel more connected. And it was also not to lose each other.

They reached the backyard of the Jareaus and had to part ways for the night.

“Night, JJ.” Elle said as she released her hand from JJ’s. The brunette girl turned her heels and headed to her house’s patio door.

“Night, Elle.” JJ smiled as she quietly made her way to the kitchen backdoor. Gently opening the mint green door, JJ tip-toed into the kitchen and prayed that no one heard her enter. Once the coast was clear, the blonde girl gently closed the door and locked it. She gently took each step one by one, not making a sound, as she made her way up the stairs and into her room. JJ opened her door slowly, as the metal hinges tended to creak when not oiled properly. She entered her room and closed the door in the same fashion. When locking the door, JJ let out a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding. Feeling content for the night, JJ took off the flower crown that Elle made off her head and placed it gently on her nightstand. She took one of the polaroid pictures off of her wall and flopped onto her bed, letting her muscles relax.

JJ brought the polaroid up to her face to see the captured moment. It was Elle, all dirty from car grease, smiling and posing like Rosie the Riveter. JJ kissed the picture and proceeded to close her eyes, holding onto the polaroid picture like a dream catcher.

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A few days passed by and the warm summer sun shone onto the garden as JJ and Elle were giggling and having fun, having no care in the world. Like it was only them on their paradise island. That was until they heard some bustling and a shout behind a hedge.

“Jennifer, where are you?” The angry voice of JJ’s father rang in the afternoon sky. The blonde girl’s head never turned so fast in fear to face her father. Salty tears pricked her azure eyes as her father marched towards the two girls. Right behind him was Elle’s father, also raging in anger. Both the girls yelled as they were grabbed by their fathers, separating them apart. Shouts filled the air and the girls tried to kick their way out of the men’s arms.

“How did you find us?” Elle yelled as she tried to squirm her way out.

“Micheal saw her sneaking through the back kitchen door and called me over to investigate. We followed behind JJ as she went through the woods.” Robert explained, trying his best to use his strength to hold onto his daughter. JJ gasped in shock as she didn’t know that her father kept an eye on her.

“I didn’t know anything about this Elle! I swear!” JJ shouted. The blonde girl grunted as she tried to get out of her father’s tight grip on her arms.

“I knew you two were friends since a young age, but this? This is unacceptable. We heard the rumors circulating town so we had our suspicions.” Micheal said through his teeth, clenching his jaw to prevent himself from shouting more.

“But I love her!” Elle yelled out as her deep russet brown eyes caught JJ’s baby blue ones. The blonde gasped softly at Elle’s confession, trying to understand what she heard with her own two ears. I love you. She loves me! I have to tell her back!. JJ thought. Just as JJ was opening her mouth to say “I love you” back to Elle, her father interrupted her.

“Stay away from JJ!” Michael shouted at Elle, hoping that he wouldn’t have to see the brunette with his daughter again. Elle’s dad dragged her away from the Jareaus as Elle continued to shout, her voice fading away.

When the Greenaways were gone from the premise, Micheal Jareau let go of JJ and the blonde girl was exasperated, holding onto her arms.

“What the hell was that?” JJ said as she tried to catch her breath.

“What the hell? I should be the one asking you, JJ. I can’t believe you went behind my back for this. I know you and Elle are friends but it very well seems to be more than that.” Michael said in his normal voice, still keeping the anger in his tone.

“And so what? You would throw me out of the house?” JJ challenged him. JJ’s father scoffed at her.

“I don’t need another Roslyn situation,” Micheal yelled at JJ. “You better get your head straight.”

“Don’t you dare bring up Ros!” JJ shouted back, her voice quivering and angry tears forming in her eyes. She couldn’t believe that her father had the guts to say her dead sister’s name. If she were alive, JJ would have been living with her, away from her father’s wrath.

JJ pivoted on her heels and ran away as fast as she could from her father. She needed to get away from the situation, but especially away from him.

“I expect you back home in the next fifteen minutes!” Michael shouted as he turned his back to head home. JJ didn’t hear him. Her thoughts were muddled from all the rushing emotions. The blonde girl ran for as long as she could because she would have to think about what had happened if she stopped. JJ ran into an open clearing and a beautiful meadow presented itself as a sanctuary, a place where JJ could calm down and gather her thoughts. Wildflowers and dandelions flourished all over the bright green grass. A family of white-tailed deer hid behind the tall maple and oak trees from afar. Small bumblebees danced in the air as a chipmunk was gathering seeds near the ground to stockpile for the winter.

JJ tried her best to slowly catch her breath as she walked further into the meadow, trying to find a place to sit. She laid down once she reached the middle of the meadow and everything came rushing back. All the shouting, crying, and fading of Elle’s voice played loudly in her mind. JJ needed to get away from that but it followed her to the meadow, almost haunting her. Tears started to form and slowly dropped to the soft earth.

Why? Just why did all this have to happen? JJ thought. Why couldn’t I have my happily ever after like the other girls?

JJ covered her face with her hands as the tears fell harder. Her crying screams rang loud within the quiet meadow. At this moment, the blonde girl didn’t care if someone heard her. She got separated from the love of her life and she didn’t know how to cope with the loss.

After crying out for a few minutes, JJ’s voice started to grow hoarse. Her eyes dried up, no longer being able to produce tears. But her heart still longed and ached for Elle. Taking a big sniffle, JJ rubbed her face to get rid of the dried tears on her cheeks with the hem of her t-shirt. She got up tiredly from the ground and felt the wind passing through the meadow. Goosebumps formed from the chill summer evening air and JJ had to hug her torso to keep herself warm. Deciding to face her father’s wrath for the second time of the day, JJ slowly walked out of the meadow and into the forest, squinting her eyes as the sun was going down the horizon.

Once she reached her family home, JJ entered the house through the back kitchen door and saw her father at the dining table, reading the local newspaper. Her head hanging low, JJ shuffled to her room, without saying a word to her father.

As she entered her bedroom, a new emotion set in JJ’s heart: anger. Angry at her father, at Elle’s father, at the whole town. To JJ, there was nothing wrong with loving whoever you felt attracted to, but a small town in rural Pennsylvania thought otherwise. In a blaze of anger, the blonde girl grabbed all the polaroids that hung on the wall and threw them onto the carpeted floor with lots of force. She aggressively took the flower crown that Elle made for her and threw it out of the open window, wanting to get rid of any evidence that reminded JJ of the brunette.

Angry tears pricked JJ’s sad baby blue eyes and the blonde girl clenched her fists, trying her best to not scream. She felt life was being unfair to her. Everything that happened today was unforgivable to JJ. She hoped that her father goes to hell when he dies. Tears fell harder as JJ started to weep, hiccups coming and going.

Feeling hollow from her outburst a few minutes ago, JJ sat at the edge of her bed while staring at the floor. Her limbs felt exhausted as she laid down on the comforter. Her muscles ached from all the running she did earlier today. JJ let her eyes slowly close and Mr. Sandman did his job sprinkling his golden dust over the tired girl, hoping she gets good dreams that would distract her from the swirling emotions in her heart.

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A few weeks went by, and JJ hadn’t received anything from Elle. No phone call. No email. Not even a letter. Hope was slowly drained out of JJ’s heart as the days of August slipped into a moment in time.

Everything that JJ did or said reminded her of Elle. The blonde girl cursed herself as she wanted to get over the hurt quickly, but her heart did not allow it.

Monday. The overwhelming feeling of emptiness consumed the blonde girl as she stared at the ceiling. Her eyes trained onto a singular spot on the plaster as the golden rays of the summer evening cast down upon JJ’s face. Hurt by Christina Aguilera softly played in the background as JJ wallowed in her thoughts. Why did she have to leave? Was it because of me? It was totally because of me. Ugh– we should have run away together when we had the chance.

JJ wondered what it was like to be loved by Elle. She wondered if someday Elle would be by her side. A small headache slowly formed as JJ kept living inside her mind. Sighs filled the air and JJ closed her eyes as a way to escape the tornado of emotions that was swimming in her heart.

Tuesday. As the blonde girl was riding her bike back from the town’s bookstore, JJ decided to take a long detour. Taking the nearest alleyway, JJ changed course to head in a different direction. As each second passed, JJ pedaled faster, almost like she had an appointment somewhere.

A red building was approaching fast and JJ had to hit her breaks, almost falling off her bike. The blonde girl tried to catch her breath as she looked over at the empty building. People were not bustling about and fixing cars. The scent of grease was no longer present in the late summer air. All the spare cars were taken back to the local junkyard, ready to be rusting the days away. And most importantly, Elle wasn’t there. A white picket was staked in the front, saying “For Sale”.

With a sliver of hope, JJ prayed that Elle came back as the blonde girl started to pedal back her way home.

Wednesday. Grey clouds took over the typically light blue Erie sky. The warm summer rain danced rapidly across the black asphalt as JJ solemnly sat by her window. Hoping that Elle would tear the curtains open, JJ fixated her gaze at the empty room with glassy eyes. No one had bought the now empty house in the past few weeks, the “For Sale” sign gently swaying along with the wind. The blonde girl hadn’t moved her position in a few hours, also like a skeleton hanging on a hook. All empty inside and the only thing that filled the void was her hurt and longing for a certain brunette. It was like JJ’s soul was taken away when Elle left.

JJ sat with her knees up to her chest, with her chin resting on the kneecaps. The pain in her heart was far greater than the aching pain in her muscles and joints. The wind changed direction and the rain splattered into JJ’s room. JJ was unbothered by this as her clothes slowly started to get wet and her skin got chills from the rain. She sat in this position for another fourteen minutes before getting up from the ornate chair. The girl grumbled as she moved the chair back to where it was with the desk. She went back to the window and shut it with ease.

Feeling tired, JJ slowly changed out of her wet clothes into a cotton pajama set, designed with blue butterflies. She rolled up her wet clothes into a ball and threw it like a basketball into the hamper, scoring it inside. A tiny smile formed, but as quickly it came, it disappeared just as fast.

The blonde girl slowly climbed into her bed, covering herself with the comforter. Her eyes drooped with tiredness as JJ tried to relax her aching limbs.

I will spend my whole life loving you, was the last thought JJ had before she dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

Thursday. JJ took a walk after eating dinner with her family. She needed to get away from them, as tension was building up in the Jareau house. The blonde girl walked past the entrance to the secret garden that she and Elle frequented. She paused in the middle of the sidewalk. Tempted to enter, JJ held out her hand to hover over the rusted iron handle, only to hesitate. Memories rushed into her mind, reminding her of that fateful day. But a little sliver of hope was felt in her heart and JJ proceeded to enter the secret garden. Weaving her way through the tall hedges, JJ speed-walked towards a certain place and passed by some bushes blooming with pink roses. She was able to find the special spot that was her’s and Elle’s. Feeling blue, JJ walked up to the same tall oak tree from weeks ago and sat by the overgrown roots, curling up to a fetal position. She wanted to feel something, anything, as the scent of lemongrass wafted into the air. JJ looked up, hoping that it was Elle, but all she was greeted to was a blank space.

Friday. JJ was spending her night wallowing in her heartache. She slowly strummed her acoustic guitar, the dissonant chords rang into the silent air. A knock was heard at her bedroom door, signaling that someone was there, waiting to enter the somber room.

“JJ….” the blonde girl’s mother gently called out her name.

“....Come in.” JJ croaked out, her voice hoarse from the lack of talking from the past few weeks. Mrs. Jareau opened the door and entered JJ’s room with a peculiar package in her hands. She gently placed the package on the messily made bed.

“This package came from someone special.” Once those words came out of Mrs. Jareau’s mouth, JJ snapped her head up to look at her mother.

Knowing her daughter’s answer, Mrs. Jareau exited out of the bedroom, hoping the package would bring JJ out of her heartache. When her mother left, JJ stared at the package on the edge of her bed, the package taunting her to open it. The blonde placed her guitar by her bedside and grabbed the oddly-shaped package.

JJ carefully pulled the transparent ribbon off and peeled off the brown paper wrapping. Inside was a royal blue cotton blanket, with a scarlet letter laid on top of it. In messy handwriting, the letter was addressed to JJ. The blonde girl slowly opened the letter, unfolding the paper in her hands. Her tired eyes began to read the scribbled content of the letter.

Dear JJ,

I’m sorry for what happened. Everything was all my fault. I knew the consequences if we were discovered together, but I didn’t care. I only ever cared about you. This letter and the gifted blanket are a way for you to remember me.

We’ll see each other again — I promise.

Love, Elle

The blonde girl picked up the soft blue blanket and brought it close to her chest, to feel close to her lost love. A teardrop slowly fell down JJ’s solemn face. One by one, more tears fell, dripping onto the paper wrapping.

“I love you, please don’t go.”

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