#graveformydarling

[ohmuqueen]

graveformydarling said: @ohmuqueen pls muse at me all you want (at the moment I am honestly happy that my idea is not as obvious as I thought it was 😁) also just always love love love to hear thoughts!! I mean it!!      

-

Okay, @graveformydarling kindly said I could muse at her about how Tutor could find out Fighter is an Omega so here I go! (Disclaimer: I only have the crash course education on ABO, so forgive me for mistakes/assumptions I make about this universe, I’m a rookie)

Part of me really loves the “stupid way”, as the anon put it, of Tor just finding the suppressants carelessly left out by Fight (a la the condoms moment in ep9) but also I can’t picture Fight being that careless with something he still doesn’t want Tor to know, so this makes me think, does Fight do something careless or does he purposefully decide to just… not take his suppressants for a day to satisfy his curiosity about what he thinks he’s feeling for Tor?

Because like, what you said in your first ABO ficlet here Mel got me thinking: “Fighter never experienced a full heat, never had his senses trained on the particular scent of an alpha, much less  learned the difference between regular alphas and those that were a perfect match for you. He had been living pretty much as a beta all his life, blissfully unaware.”

Plus what the anon was saying about Tor feeling something around Fight but he doesn’t know what it is. So my big question is, can an Alpha feel that an Omega is the perfect match for them even if that Omega is on suppressants—but they can’t identify that feeling, they just know there’s something?

So what I think would be interesting is if Fight knows that some Alphas and Omegas are a perfect match for each other, but he has never experienced any attraction to an Alpha as an Omega because of the suppressants, and part of him is just dying to know what that would feel like with Tor, now that he knows Tor is an Alpha.

What if Fight took just half the dose of a suppressant for a day? Idk how suppressants are seen to work in this verse, but if a half-dose has some effect but not the full effect, Fight might be tempted to try that. And it’s the day that Fight protects Tor from the creditor in the rain. (Or, another possibility because I remember how damn forgetful I was taking meds as a college student—still am forgetful—Fight could just forget to refill his prescription and only have half a dose left or NOTHING left and he just risks it because he’s been studying with Tor for weeks and what’s the worst that could happen lolololol)

But this brings up another question—I feel like going off suppressants is a lot like going off certain types of meds (birth control, SSRIs—which I’ve taken and gone off both) and you can tell that you’ve been off suppressants even for just one day (this is definitely true for some SSRIs). Fight has to have forgotten a dose at least once before meeting Tor, I mean he’s only human. So he thinks he’ll be okay, just a bit on edge, like has happened before. But usually being off them for one day isn’t enough for Alphas to notice? Maybe? Shoot me down if I’m wrong.

Another question—does Tor and Fight being a perfect match make it possible for Fight to go into heat just from being off suppressants for one day or just taking a half dose? Like does the perfect match factor effect how strongly Fight is affected by Tor even though he’s been on suppressants since puberty (so for at least idk 9 to 11 years)? I know some of this is up to creative license on Mel’s part, but also I’m so curious of the rules of ABO verse, however loosely or strictly defined they are.

[inceptionpositivity]

@graveformydarling - Grave wrote one of my very favorite Inception fics, and I have to shout out to how great it was. Bangkok Nights is among the most gorgeous, atmospheric stories I've read anywhere and I am so grateful for it.

[crush-camboys]

Get a little glimpse of Tutor’s and Fighter’s private Instagram accounts!

First chapter of Crush coming soon → 01.08.2020

Follow us here or on twitter @crush_camboys and stay updated on more social media posts and news on @graveformydarling and @typetharns baby “Crush”!

[flower-of-the-desert]

Thoughts on Why R U ep12

I’m so confused now about which episode is supposed to be the official ending of the show cause I thought ep12 was it and the next episodes would extra content that might or might not have anything to do with the actual story of the show so far but now it looks like the story continues next week soooo is ep13 the last one?

Before I get into it though I want to talk about that scene. I deliberately didnt say anything about it the entire week despite teasers and whatnot because I didnt want to jump to conclusions and I wanted to judge only what I see on screen as part of the actual show. I’ve talked a little a lot cough about what I’d like to see from it with @graveformydarling​  and I have to say I’m beyond pleased to see that it went pretty much how we imagined it (minus a whole lot of desperate needy angst sex but apparently that’s for next ep  and it’s not even gonna be agsty? so double yay to all of that). Fighter drunk and jealous wants to remind Tutor of what they’ve shared and at first Tutor tries to resist but you can see the moment after the first kiss on the bed when he gets that look on his face that says I will eat this man alive in the next 2mins if someone doesnt stop me and kisses back and Fighter thinks things are ok now so he continues till Tutor snaps himself out of it and blows colder than Antarctica on Fighter who promptly breaks down and takes my heart with him.

So yeah, I dont have a problem with the way things played out and I think it was perfectly in character for both of them given the situation. Which is always a plus when you can create drama without making characters OOC.

Now onto the rest of the show!

listening to Fighter beg Tutor to tell him what he did wrong so he can change it is already hard enough but the way his voice BREAKS both in the scene with Tutor later and with his father is just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Tutor can be one cold-hearted bastard when he wants to be though like I’m not even surprised Fighter lost his shit after that

now can Tutor use that lovely skill against the people who actually deserve it pretty please???

I really like the acting after Fighter leaves like the way Tutor hits the bed and hugs himself like he’s freezing - it gives the feeling of the rage and helplessness he must be feeling at having to do all that

also I fucking knew that when Tutor gave the necklace back it would hurt like a bitch and you know what? I was right

listen, show, I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not gonna work - naked!Fighter in the shower isnt gonna distract me from the pai-

mmm, naked!Fighter in the shower niiiiice

what was I talking about? right, things! and stuff. totally unrelated to naked!Fighter in the shower

I guess Dew and Blue are friends now? at least this Dew is much better than the needlessly violent one from the start of the show; you know I could be interested in this love triangle between them and this other guy whose name I dont remember if we get to see more of them in the special eps?

noooo, Zon, dont go to the beach, look what happened to FTTT after they went

I mean besides the amazing sex

but LOL Zon daydreaming about his romantic sexy vacation with Saifah in fukl animated colour is awesome; I wish my dreams were like that

also I firmly believe Saifah and Zon set up FTTT to stay together at the beach and you cant convince me otherwise

Tutor’s literally getting sick without Fighter like boy, just go get your man back before you die

oh god the way Fighter takes care of him is so GENTLE AND CAREFUL like he’s scared Tutor will break I cant

I’m in love with the confrontation scene between him and Asshole Dad like the way he called him out on all of his bullshit and that he only cares for his own interests and business and how selfish he is being with his own son’s life

“Homosexual love isnt steady” “And are you sure your heterosexual love is steady? My mom left you for another man”

MIC FUCKING DROP OF THE CENTURY HOLY SHIT

it broke my heart the way Fighter begged him to allow him to be happy and to have his own life under his control

god, no child should ahve to beg their parents like that

I hope Asshole Dad doesnt get any sort of redeption though I’m pretty sure he will next ep

Zon out there giving the best advice “we right our own novel” “you can stand up and fight better than this” and you know what? I NEED that to happen next ep

I NEED Tutor to finally stand up and fight for his love the way Fighter has been doing non stop; that’s the only thing I feel like is missing right now; these past couple of eps has been all about Tutor’s struggles and feelings of weaknes and helplessness and the people who love him trying to support him and help him fight back and I NEED HIM TO DO THAT FINALLY FOR HIMSELF AND FOR FIGHTER PLEASE @SHOW???

also you’re still not off the hook for that happy ending, WHYRU; there BETTER be one next ep

[whyamistillwatchingtheseshows]

Sometimes ideas hit quick and I go here have this @graveformydarling because you mentioned the shit Tutor would get for being a young CEO and mentioned Fight’s dream position as “Tutor’s husband” and since you mentioned a TIE and ppl nearby possibly catching them (still adding that the elevator chap but consider this too)...mind you I don’t really know how businesses with CEOs work, but my goal was defensive husband vs disgruntled employee vs the CEO...but it’s likely we come round to the self-indulgent fantasy that is them “living a lavish lifestyle and having lots and lots of kinky sex” with minimal details of how work actually is for Tutor...

Mick snickers to his co-worker, “How’d he get this job anyway? Brown nosing?Selling those looks?” Someone else elbowed him because it was a bad idea to be within ear shot of the man a few feet away. Mick apparently had no clue, not even when Fight stepped closer. 

“Your boss is giving a speech, probably should listen.” Fight sipped on the glass of champagne. It was a celebratory function which also meant he wore a suit, one picked by his husband. The company was celebrating an advance in the ranks of top 10. They were profitable and squandered the competition. Fight loved the fact that this company was now ahead of his father’s. He chuckled at the thought but then Mick’s voice echoed back to his ears again. 

“He got this job but he’s so young. I still don’t understand. He was nearly an outsider, not from within the company.

“How old are you? Plus, what does it matter if he’s the right person for the job? Clearly, he is since we’re celebrating. Cheers.” Fight snapped back as he sloshed the rest of the drink. The co-worker who warned Mick before tried to tear him away. 

“I’m old enough that I don’t need to answer to you. Do you even work here anyway?” Mick didn’t remember seeing him before but there was something familiar. 

“Seriously, Mick, let it go.” The co-worker now had him by the wrist. Mick shook him off. Tutor was still giving his speech, nearing an end Fight could tell. They spoke in hushed tones and gritted teeth. 

“What makes Tutor so amazing at this job? Because he’s young? Yeah, that’s the only reason he got it. Take me I’ve got almost 8 years more experience on him and I’ve become his peon.”

Fight cracked his neck. He handed the empty glass to the now even more anxious co-worker who clumsily took it no questions asked. “I think if you learned to keep your trap shut when you don’t have anything respectful to say, it might’ve scored you more points to becoming CEO.” The speech ended, applause filling the room. 

“How would you know? You don’t work here!” Mick raised his voice. “You look as young as him!” 

“Youth might be a part it, but my husband-“ the dawning look in Mick’s eyes was too satisfying. “Is good at his job because he’s hardworking like everyone else. He’s respectful, smart and more of a leader than you ever could be.” Fight stepped one inch forward, but suddenly Tutor was between them. Mick cowered even more and Fight snickered. That set him off and Mick went for it. Tutor deflected the flying fist  with just a fucking casual smack. Everyone froze. Tutor took a deep breath. 

“Follow me, Mick.” Tutor turned to Fight. He squinted at him and then brushed passed him to the office. Mick closed the door. 

“I could fire you.” No response. “But I won’t, because part of the reason we’re celebrating is due to your hard work, Mick. I’m not just saying that.”

Mick rolled his eyes. “As everyone else says you talk shit, but I’ve been through and heard worse, it rolls off my back. Problem is I also can’t fire you without it looking very personal-“ Tutor held his hand up. “Wait, let me finish. You almost punched my husband in the face.” 

“It won’t happen again.” 

“Good to hear. Now enjoy the party.” Mick left in a hurry, scurrying passed Fighter in the process. He didn’t say anything, but his sort of apologetic eyes said enough. Fight let it go and softly rapped on the door. 

“Open.” Tutor announced. Fight slowly opened it. Tutor smiled. 

“How do I deal with you? Hmm? Sometimes you have to bite your tongue, baby.” Fight slumps onto the sofa in front of the window. He sighs. “That’s difficult especially when it’s a recurring thing. They won’t shut up and I can’t have them slandering my husband.”

“They’re envious,” Tutor explains. He sits next to Fight. His husband curls into him. Tutor noticed his gaze was stuck on his suit jacket collar. Just underneath Fight could see the necklace. 

“It’s been how many years and you still wear that underneath your clothes?”

“It’s closer to my heart that way.” Fight laughs. 

“So cheesy.”

“Never leave home without it, plus if you’re going to wear that earring the rest of your life then I have to wear this.” Tutor reaches underneath his royal purple button down to pull the necklace out. Fight catches it in his fingers. He flips it to the back, his eyes glowing with adoration. 

“Boss.” 

“I was frantic when I thought I lost this but then someone put it in a gift box and magically it was on my desk this morning as a congratulatory gesture. Except I wonder will I always be the boss?”

Fight sat up and took Tor’s hands in his. He kissed them. “You will be the boss for many many years, retire and then be stuck with me for hours on end, each and every day until we grow really old.”

“Who is being cheesy now?” 

“Your husband. Your koala.” Tutor absolutely adored that nose scrunch. He put a hand to his cheek. “There’s still a question you didn’t answer. How am I going to deal with you?” 

“You could fire me.”

“That won’t do,” Tutor was now leaning him into the arm of the sofa. The necklace swayed from the movement; Fight caught it and the tie in his hand. He yanked him close. 

“Deal with me however you want. I’m yours.” Fighter loved that growl. You think he’d tire of hearing it, but never. Tutor connected their lips. All of their clothes were nearly strewn about the floor when laughing sounded near the office. Tutor didn’t stop pulling pants over his husband’s hips. Tutor didn’t think anything else but to press kisses to that now exposed abdomen and happy trail; gasping moans almost sounding louder than the laughs. The laughs echoed down and away from them. Employees were enjoying the party. Company parties almost put clubbing to shame or so Fight learned over the years. They could go all night. Well, so could he and his husband on this office sofa. 

[youdontloveme-yet]

Guardians AU

This is taking a lot longer than I expected.

 I ain’t even close to finishing this chapter, but I am kinda self conscious and I need feedback to know if I should continue. xd

Also, I wanted to finish this for @ohmuqueen ‘s birthday, but alas. 

Anyway, responsible people, feedback, please. @alicehadthoughts @graveformydarling 

Part II:

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck!” Fighter did not know why he was running or why his whole existence suddenly felt empty. He had no idea what just happened. But he was mortified. His legs were barely keeping up with his pace. Ragged breathing, everything a blur.

And he dropped to his knees the moment he was in the confined space of his apartment. He could barely breathe, let alone move. Numbness engulfing his body, wrapping it in nothing. And everything went black. His mind absent. Blind in the nothingness that he was becoming. It scared him. It made him feel weak. He had never before felt weak. It suffocated him. And he could still feel it - that feeling. It was lingering on his skin. Dripping into shivers all over his body. Like ripples in the water, like waves in an empty ocean – crystal clear, but lethal. And it felt so good. And it felt so wrong.

“Fuck!” he whispered, as he shakily got up. That feeling resonating inside of him. Filling him up, spinning him around. A web of fresh memories catching him like a fly – in a trap of desire and confusion.

And it doesn’t fade.

It doesn’t fucking fade. He could still feel his touch on his skin. Like a burn, ingrained on his flesh. Bright and hot - a lingering emotion. And he tried to shake it off, to wash it off. But the water on his skin made it burn more. Flashing memories behind his closed eyes – of eyes filled with want, of feverish hands running down his body, of lips so heavenly, it physically hurt him to not feel them.

It was overwhelming as his whole body was tensing once again. Heartbeat increasing, as he slid his hands down his stomach. Like the water running down his body, his hands wandered where it hurt. And he remembered – teeth sinking in his skin, bruises pulsing. Fingers scraping purple skin, pain shooting up his crotch. One hand darting up from his thighs, reaching his already hard manhood. Slow and painful strokes, as his other hand reaches his throat – remembering how it felt wrapping fingers around Tutor’s neck, losing control and squeezing. And that look, when the boy had whimpered under the pressure, gasping for air. It did things to him. The red cheeks, the swollen, wet lips and, fuck, those dirty eyes. It was a whirlwind of primal want that drove him way too close, way too soon.

And, fuck, did he want to wrap his hands around the boy’s throat again. To break him. See him tremble with lust, while trying to breathe. Choke him until he begged. Let him hear his pleading voice. Like a soft melody going through his ears. A broken string under his fingers.

Needy moans escaping his lips, as he bit down on them. Nails digging in his neck. Blood dripping down his chest, as he gasped for air. Too much. It was too fucking much, as he came in rapid convulsions. His knees almost giving out. And it felt as if electricity shot up through his veins. Shuddering, as the sensation short circuited his brain. Leaving him delirious. Body thrumming with raw power.

It was heavy, but it was not, and it was slow, but it was not.

Faltering.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hands on his shoulders were not the one that he desired. It was not the same powerful, but weak grip that he still managed to feel. The cold touch of fingers on his neck – fading into numbness.

“Tor.” Sounded a soft voice.

“I’m fine. It was just exhilarating and I don’t know, Hwa.” His throat was sore and pain was wilting on his neck. Like a flower in an Autumn day – it was an alluring feeling.

“Maybe I’ll meet him again.” A smile appearing on his face. It was small and gentle, with that soft desire in his eyes.

And how could he forget him? The sensation of his touch, the power that he wanted to submit to. The feeling of his own lips around his switch, the control he could possess. It made him feel something much deeper than expected. Something that made him think of mundane routines and small gestures. Things he never before thought of wanting. It made his stomach drop.

As the days passed, that feeling didn’t fade. It preyed on his mind. Fixating in on his focus. A crave so deep, it was ingrained in his soul. All his thoughts, all his emotions, everything he touched. It haunted his mind in every little thing. Blinded by an obsession.  

He could barely numb it. Drowning in different people. Hour after hour, denying his desire with distractions. Boys and girls – they all felt the same now. There was nothing in them. Not a single spike of excitement, not a sentiment of what he sought. Empty desires and carnal lust. And he watched. For hours and minutes, and seconds and eons. Forever finally felt long. A lost scream in the distance.

[ohmuqueen]

@alicehadthoughts @graveformydarling I actually did the voice meme you both tagged me in, but tumblr doesn’t recognize the file I made with Windows voice recorder app, so that hurt my feelings. I’m probably just ignorant of how the most basic technology works, but I wanted to tell you both that I did the meme and you both made me smile with your recordings (Alice - I’ll call you that since you used it in your url on purpose - I admire you reading all of War and Peace, I tried once but I think my dedication to reading dense classic literature died with my graduating college, and Mel I’ve read the quote from Kafka on the Shore you read! Someone must’ve posted it here. Amazing that my brain recalled reading it when I haven’t read that book. But I loved 1Q84 and The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Actually didn’t know liking him was seen as pretentious until after I read those two books, but maybe I should’ve known when I saw his books so prominently displayed in a library, bookstore, and a grocery store where I live, in the midwest US)

In short I sound like... basic American (like most American newscasters I guess) because us midwesterners are seen as having no accent, but I was interested to know what Alice thought about that lol. And I read a passage from Clan of the Cave Bear, which is one of my most favorite books (ever since I was 13). My url references Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, both a manga and a film by Hayao Miyazaki. The manga is one of my favorite stories I’ve ever read.

I also said this meme made me feel old because I remember doing it at least 6 years ago now. And I made it a video back then because I didn’t know how to do an audio recording and post it to tumblr. I’ve learned nothing. :)

[no1readsmyblog]

Okay for the first time in my whole 26 years of life, I'm drunk. Like proper drunk and I know it and I want to take this opportunity to tell u guys how much I appreciate each and every one of u. U made my life so so beautiful. So worth living. Everyday seemed less of a struggle because u guys were there to help me through.

@sofia-razvi my bestest friend. I love u. U are amazing, intelligent and I can talk to u about anything. Literally anything. I love u and u are and always will be my bestest friend. I'm so glad I met u. I wanna meet u and tell u how much u have changed my life for the better. Love u and wish u the best always.

@p-a-r-a-s-o-x . P'Dani. I've probably already messaged u how much I love u and how much I value u. U are my older sister by soul and in life. I love u P'Dani. U will win every battle that u fight. I just hope I'm someone who can help. I'm always Cheering u on.

@bookscoffee75. I'm so glad I met u here on Tumblr. U are such a sweet soul and I truly want to thank u for being my friend. Talking to u makes me feel so light and so happy. I'm so glad to have met u and become ur friend.. thank u for being there for me.. for being mob prof. Merci

@butterflyheart-me u are one of the sweetest people on the planet. I wish u the very best in everything. U are such a marshmallow that u just existing makes my life sweeter. Love u 😘

@thelastoftheredhotswamis we haven't talked in a while but I will never forget u. U are one of the most rational yet empathetic people I've met in my life. I'm still trying to learn that choreography. I miss u. Take care.

@lostinbl and @bl-crossingtheline . Two of the people I interact with the least and still the most. I don't know if u will understand what I'm saying. Hehe. Love ur posts and content. Thank u for making Tumblr so warm and precious for me

@chaotically-t Tate baby daddy. My baby daddy. I love u. U are beautiful and intelligent and smart and kind. Don't let anyone tell u any different. Love uuuuuu baby dadddy.

@graveformydarling thanks for existing and fuelling my tutor fighter soul. I love them soo soooooo much. Thanks for all ur fanfiction and ur humble nature..I'm so glad to have discovered u on Tumblr.

@castheassbutt chris baby. Thank u. U have always supported me whenever I needed u. I'm always there for u. I hope u know that. U are blessed cherished and wonderful.

@sarangkstars I'm so glad to have met u. Our mutual love for Lee min ho and woo do hwan and hyun bin blossomed our friendship and I'm so glad to have met u. Thank u. For being my friend. For talking about kdramas with me. Wish u the best. 😘❤️ And how can I ever forget SRK. King khan. Muaaah.

@whenthespotlightfades thank u for your J9 content. It keeps me alive..I love em so much and ur blog just keeps me going especially on days I wanna give up.

@piprocrastinator one of the first people who tagged me here. I will always remember u. 😘😘

Anyone who I'm not tagging but everyone I have ever interacted on Tumblr. If I have liked or reblogged ur post, please know that u changed or impacted me in some way . Thank u. Thank u for existing and posting stuff that u do..

[mdzs-bunny]

@graveformydarling May I please offer these photos for your Trophy Husband Fighter au:

They made me think of your AU so much!!

[reservethesun]

task: describe yourself with photos you already have (you can’t download or search for new ones)

so i was tagged by @blueskycafe !! now I'm tagging the gc fam that I've got on Tumblr @thefriendyouhate @shellygurumi @p-a-r-a-s-o-x @onlyaloadofcodswallop @typetharns @missyriver @occasionally-writing @craveforthegrave @graveformydarling @no1readsmyblog @ohmuqueen @alicehadthoughts @sarawatiness @villageofbl (if i missed anyone, I'm sorry!!) also anyone else who wants to do this feel free!!

[crush-camboys]

Coming this Saturday -@graveformydarling & @typetharns FighTor (Why R U?: The Series) multimedia fanfiction would like to introduce Tutor ❤

Follow us here or on twitter @crush_camboys for all updates & MORE POSTS leading up to the official release of the first chapter of “Crush”

[flower-of-the-desert]

TAG GAME: 5 (MALE) BL CHARACTERS I LOVE

Thank you to @tharntypesupportclub​ and @whyamistillwatchingtheseshows​ for tagging me. 💖💖

These games are fun but also TORTUUUUURE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK????? Watch me spectacularly fail lmao. So in no particular order:

1) Type from TharnType - listen listen this kitten with claws OWNS my fucking heart in a way that few other characters have managed to do. The backstory and development of his relationship with Tharn and most of all THE MOTHERFUCKING AMAZING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IT IS SUBLIME ok ok, I am calm. I can talk about this calmly like a normal person (my other brain cell @graveformydarling​ tell the people I’m not a crazy person) - but seriously though, like Type starts out as this deeply hurt and traumatized young man who lashes out at people whether they deserve it or not because of everything he’s been through that he never really got the help he needed to overcome. He’s been living for years with this one idea that was stuck in his mind that gay people = bad and hurt and the moment he finds out Tharn is gay, the flood gates are opened and set into motion Type’s future development. And it’s through the course of the show that Type learns and grows and heals (not completely, never completely because that’s something that’s going to stay with him for the rest of his life) so that in the last episode he has become someone who is open and proud and happy about his relationship with another man; someone who wont even lie to his father about it because he’s not ashamed of what he has with Tharn; and someone who looking back on himself has realised the way he’s acted and the way he’s treated the people around him, his best friend most of all, is not acceptable and tries to make amends for it, apologizes to Kom and admits he still has a lot to learn but he’s trying to do the right thing now. This is what well-done character development looks like, friends, THIS RIGHT HERE AND I JUST LOVE HIM A LOT OK

2) Fighter from WhyRU - MY BIGGEST SUBBY BABY BOY I WILL DIE FOR HIM AND SO WILL TUTOR; he’s just so... precious 😭 he’s so scared of the feelings he has but so in love with Tutor from the moment he saw him and and how much he WANTED but didn’t think he was allowed to have it and then the whole thing with his father and Hwa - gaaah I felt so much for him; the way he adores Tutor and how much he cares about everything Tutor wants and will make him happy; his SMILES GOD THE WAY FIGHTER RUINS ME WITH A SINGLE SMILE; the way he SMILED even through the pain of his heartbreak because he didnt want to upset Tutor any more; and THEN as if that wasnt enough seeing him so completely broken, on his knees BEGGING for Tutor to take him back I’m just I’M JUST NOT OK 😭😭😭😭 Special shout out to the morning after scene and Fighter’s “sometimes I want to be babied” I ASCENDED TO ANOTHER REAL OF EXISTENCE THANKS TO THAT SCENE

3) Sarawat from 2gether - listen ok, Sarawat isnt Boyfriend Material - he’s what Boyfriend Material is made of; him and Dean are setting the bar so damn high at this point, you’d have to be able to fly to reach it; and I AM HERE FOR IT; my favourite thing about Wat aside from all the obvious has to be the contast of who he seems to be on the outside - or more specifically who Tine sees him as - and who he really is; our first impression of Wat is as this cool distant flirty guy who does whatever he wants and gives no shit about anyone or anything, but THEN as we get to know him, as the layers are peeled off him we see the inside of him and HE’S A MARSHMALLOW A SOFT CUDDLY desperate for his boyfriend’s cock MARSHMALLOW; he’s sweet and cute and insecure just like Tine is and he’s just spent over a year in love with a boy he was desperately trying to find but couldn’t only for that same boy to literally run up to him out of nowhere and then their story gets going and Sarawat spends ALL his time trying again and again AND AGAIN to be everything Tine wants, to show him how deep, how true his feelings are, to make Tine love him the way he loves Tine and I’m just TOO DAMN EMOTIONAL OVER IT OK 2gether be ruining my emotions since day 1 (and now there’s FIVE MORE EPISODE COMING DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING)

4) DeanPharm from UWMA - I’m sorry but I cant seperate them, that’s illegal; my boys 😭😭😭 soulmate trope + past lives trope = me getting punched in the feels and this show DID NOT DISAPPOINT; UWMA’s like one of my all time favourite shows now, I love everything about it and DeanPharm just stole my goddamn heart and never gave it back; I love their relationship development like even though they are soulmates and the writers could have used that as an excuse to fast forward EVERYTHING, they still took their time, the characters got to know each other, to realise what their feelings meant and in the end CHOSE each other, irrelevant of any past lives or destiny because their love was REAL and it was THEM and I’m crying again. Also on a more shallow note but that size difference between them is just *chef’s kiss* the way Dean ENVELOPS Pharm COMPLETELY in his arms like he’s going to keep him right there safe and warm from the rest of the world just... does things to me.

5) Ae from Love By Chance - you may have noticed but I have a thing for protective/possessive boyfriends and Ae just ticks off my boxes just right; I love the way he ALWAYS takes care of Pete, the utterly gentle way he handles touching him and talking to him and the absolutely HOT AS FUCK way he loses all that self control when his desire for Pete takes over. The way he comforts Pete when he’s fillwed with self-hatred and doubt and tries to push Ae away because of course, it would be easier for Ae to date a girl but Ae doesnt want easy, he wants Pete and everything that comes with that.

And there you have it, my favourite BL boys; as usual this got hella long but this is what happens when you get me going about my faves. I’m the worst at tagging so whoever wants to do this, please feel free!

[peeksoon]

I was tagged by @jbeomi ty 😌

Post my lockscreen, homescreen, last photo saved to gallery, and last sound I listened to 🎶

I'll tag @lovetines @pastel-butnotreally-angel @neocity127​ @suncheons-kangta​ @5tar​ @typetharns​ @graveformydarling​ @alicehadthoughts​ @binder-boy​ 

👉only if 🥺you🥺wanna👈

[whyamistillwatchingtheseshows]

Forgive me this will be a long ass post because A. Trophy husband Fighter and CEO Tutor AU that’s plaguing my existence. Thank you @graveformydarling. B. The post @negrowhat made of the necklace kiss in comparison to Tharntype episode 13 of Type in Tharn’s lap as hands snake up his back...there is similar energy, I concur. However, it got me thinking. Here we go...

Burning question: Who is more dominant? Tharn or Tutor? 

Answer for me: Tutor. 

Sure, Tharn’s found his drive, power, or whatever you want to call it? Just pure “top energy?” It’s there but he wears his heart on his sleeve in many other aspects of life. Tharn seems more delicate than Tutor, and sure it’s been mentioned that Tutor wears a mask, but I still think he has an inner resolve around his emotions? Does this make sense? This emotional vulnerability  Tharn has is also easily soothed by a constant availability of loved ones [a big brother always there] but let’s just say: 

TYPE WOULD GET AWAY WITH OF A LOT MORE THAN FIGHTER EVER COULD?

Does this make sense? There’s dominant energy in Type and that has been there since before Tharn [not meaning his violence towards gay men, just his cocky attitude in general]. Type isn’t soft. Just as Tutor isn’t soft, but the thing is Tutor was actually looking for someone, or rather craved someone to take care of him and for him to do just the same...Here is a thing some of you may not see or agree with: THARN IS THE BIG BABY.  The big baby who well I guess just like Fighter will put on a front, however, there’s still this instinct he’s (forgive me) drilled into himself that he must always be “top.” Tharn merely had the reigns in the beginning because of Type’s apprehension and confusion over his feelings…

Where the fuck am I going with this? Focus. Focus. Tharn and Type may not be as versatile as Fighter and Tutor. Tharn and Type don't have that POWER FLUID feeling just yet. They seem pretty keen on keeping things the way they are...but if one day Type COULD GET WHAT HE WANTS AND IF HE KEEPS IT UP I’M SURE EVENTUALLY HE’D BE ABLE TO TAP THE SWITCH. Just saying. 

When Tutor shifts, I sometimes get this “no mister nice guy” feeling. When Tharn is angling for what he wants it’s more like “baby please, baby please baby please...please please.” HE BEGS. Does Type tease then eventually spoil? Yes. However, Fighter and Tutor CAN DO BOTH of those scenarios. Still feel like Tharn would growl, grasp hips firmly as possible when he has what he wants, but he has to often beg Type. He can’t play the “no mister nice guy” (he couldn’t even do so in that jealous bathroom scene, TYPE played that guy but hasn’t really played that guy like he’s probably imagined...) 

 I mean in the special episode Tharn is picking up Type from practice and they’re talking about family then suddenly somehow sex is in this conversation, “So does that mean we can do it tonight?” So you’ve gone without Tharn? Seems unlikely, but TYPE HOLDING OUT ON HIM, [probably to TEASE him] doesn’t that shift the power/dominance? As @graveformydarling mentioned in a post about Tutor being the one guiding Fight, then when it comes to Tharn and Type who is really guiding who once they found each other? 

Yes, so maybe it’s just that Tharn doesn’t want to switch positions physically, but he doesn’t have the same dominant energy as Tutor? I’m not saying that Tutor can’t be soft. We know he can and will be, but he uses that as a guide as well doesn’t he? To get Fight where he wants, to get what he wants? As the relationship develops for Tharn and Type, Tharn wouldn’t be able to guide much more, besides his guiding was more like prodding [written in some unfortunate ways].... Where’s the shift? Probably that sort of drunk kiss at the bar (ep 5-6?) when Tharn kisses Type (who kisses back so gladly and sort of blissfully unaware) and says, “you’re the friend I want to do this with.” Tharn was asking for more. Type backs away, Tharn pouts like a big baby. Type begrudgingly makes it up to him, step by step first with getting him Sprite as an apology, but then cue a kiss Tharn never thought he’d get and then the ankle kiss of course. Type slowly learned intimacy, but he’s still confused and will stray before he realizes what he truly wants. I just wonder how much control Type has? Type is a character who cannot be just one thing. So when does he FINALLY GET THE SWITCH? Can he convince Tharn of trying it again? Can he convince Tharn by describing the feelings he gets when Tharn holds his hips so tightly, driving inside him? Why wouldn’t Tharn change his mind? It’d be entirely different with Type. Also, this would be an opportunity for Type to make Tharn scream his name instead or frankly, just have more ways to make him more vocal during sex. 

If Type had a chance you don't think he’d jump at the idea of leaving Tharn just as messy as Tutor would leave Fighter? Think about that one. The problem is, Tharn has to learn to let it go, not necessarily find that sub space, but give over control a little bit. There’s something holding Tharn back? Uncomfortable first-time experience…I mean what was it? Can he really not give over,  though, the pouty big baby? He’s so sure of himself that it’s going to remain this way that he has to always top...not to say that Type hasn’t found other ways inside... but it’s just...now, that I’m thinking about it. It irks me a little bit that Tharn is so put off by it, especially when I think Type is so willing and cares so deeply that he’d take time, he’d take care of him before, during, and after, because he doesn’t want to go hard and fast like Tharn can do to him. Not just yet, no, and besides Type had a good teacher? So is Type a power bottom switch? Mind you this character didn’t know what he wants but now that Type knows what he wants and how he wants it and WHO he wants it from, he’s settled in. 

So @negrowhat, it can hit the same, but somehow I feel as if Type *makes whipped sounds* has more POWER over Tharn than we suspect. Never really thought about it, because maybe they would stay in their boats [I did mention once that they might also in comparison to FT]. Power bottom and his top, maybe that’s always TharrnType. Yet when you compared these two scenes by brain went oop. Wait, a second....what if one day Type wasn’t told to dream on? You can’t tell me that wouldn’t flip the switch and Type would be like yes please, baby. I mean…

Type wasn’t sure he heard correctly. “What did you say?” 

“Yes, Type. I want to try.” 

“Are you only doing this as a honeymoon gift or something? I mean I’ve only been asking for years.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Tharn shrugged. “I’ve prepped. Brought many of the usual necessities. So yes,” Tharn took a deep breath. “We can try this. Only with you. Forever with you.” 

Clad only in boxer shorts, they stood on a balcony looking towards the night sky. Tharn dipped a chin into Type’s shoulder, nuzzling lips into his neck. Type turned around to firmly grasp his husband’s hips, admiring the ring on his finger. Then he looked back to Tharn, holding his gaze. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Type.” The way he hums his name will forever drive him crazy. Type digs his fingers in at the hips and kisses him. Tharn will still take the opportunity to lift his husband towards the bed. There’s no getting around that significant detail. Type would then spend a considerable amount of time making sure Tharn is ready, in fact, maybe too long that the big baby would finally beg for it to happen. 

Ooh, you can’t make me choose. FightTutor. TharnType. Yeah, these two couples hit me something hardcore. It’s just Fighter and Tutor right from the get-go shifting, giving, taking, POWER FLUID, switch, versatile...Tharn and Type have yet to tap that switch, but if and when they could in the healthier ways FT approached the dynamic then…? Well, shit. I’m just going to make myself at home in the gutter.

[youdontloveme-yet]

So, I posted what I wrote on AO3? That’s the post, yeah. I wish I wasn’t this fucking awkward, but oh well. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24081556/chapters/57959767

Idk when I will get to writing next chapters, cuz I got exams and my life is spiraling down quite heavily, so yeah. 

Also, I don’t know how to fucking post links, but that is another thing we do not talk about. 

And oh, shit, new My Engineer episode is here. Y’all I need my MEK fix today. 

Big thanks to @graveformydarling​ @alicehadthoughts​ who nicely pushed me to do this <3 

[ohmuqueen]

@graveformydarling you can always give me a sneak preview of what you have so far instead 👀

I’m so giddy this is going to be such a memorable birthday bc I learned Tor has my birthday! What are the odds!! The universe decided I deserved a little gift and it was loving FighterTutor and sharing a birthday with one of the characters 🥰🥰🥰🥰

thank you @CandyOnnn and @graveformydarling​ for this amazing news the day before my birthday! 🙏❤️