#granted you arent injured or self harming

[swagging-back-to]

say fucking sike rn

[foxgloveburning-inactive]

kayleigh “not so nice” oc asks

im doing all of them because i want to have fun and torture kayleigh (asks from here)

warning: it gets real fuckin dark fjdsfldsfhsf

trigger warnings: self harm, death, serious injury, graphic injury, car accidents, general angst and darkness

1. What is one word to shut them up?

“Stop.” you wanna dig right to her core AND trigger an explosive cocktail of anxiety and RSD in her head that she most likely won’t even tell you about?? just say “stop” in a very annoyed tone

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

she still regrets cutting contact with her sisters for a year after poison pop broke up the first time because she thinks she could’ve used their support during that time in her life, and they were all hurt by it

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

being trapped in the car right after she and blue wrecked, with multiple broken bones and a lot of other minor injuries

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

dying physically alone, in a way that no one even knows she’s dead

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

drowning

everyone she loves forgetting her (and doing better for it)

and see above

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

people making suggestive comments about her/her sisters being in relationships with eachother

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

despite healing from a lot of her insecurity surrounding it, she still doesn’t like her tendency to get angry/sad very easily

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

flash cameras can send her into a panic attack if she’s not told abt it beforehand

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

she is NOT strong lmaooo she can be agile but she is not very good at physical labor

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

her need for validation, esp from the public

11. Do they have any vices?

she doesn’t drink or smoke but music........music things will get her (songwriting at 2am, buying maybe just too many instruments, etc, etc)

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

she stole a pack of chips and a coke from a gas station on a dare, she’s broken into a motel pool with friends, broken into a condemned abandoned house. she did a lot of dumb things when she was a teenager/young adult lmao

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

i don’t like this question so i’m not going to answer it! :D

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

she is indeed prone to being extremely emotional, usually anger or sadness, esp bc of her RSD, but she’s learned to manage it over the years

15. Who do they hate the most?

exploitative assholes in the music industry

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

no one purposefully makes her feel inferior, but her anxiety/lack of self esteem tends to get to her when she starts comparing herself to her friends (esp when it comes to things that arent music)

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

bells ringing. they had a system in her house growing up where her mom would ring a bell whenever she wanted them to come down for a meal or to go somewhere etc because they had such a large family and going to everyone individually would be a pain

but bc of her exec dysfunction, sometimes she wouldn’t come down at the bell and her mom would just keep ringing it until someone came and got her

now the sound of a bell ringing continuously grates on her nerves more than anything else

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

black licorice. everyone hates black licorice, yeah, but like. she has a PASSION for it

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

she doesn’t think she’s supermodel attractive but she doesn’t think herself ugly either; at least, not anymore

20. Do they consider themselves unlovable?

when things get bad, she considers a lot of parts of herself unlovable, esp her emotions and personal issues, but nowadays she tends to be a little more confident in herself

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

fucking things up in conversation

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

yes, multiple! adhd, anxiety, and depression, all diagnosed

(skipping two questions that involved sexual assault out of personal comfort)

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

in middle school, she had a group of friends who completely turned on her in seventh grade after she had a mental breakdown; they basically told her she had “too much baggage” for them and didn’t wanna deal with her anymore

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

she was in a serious car accident in 2011 with blue, and ended up breaking her arm, her leg, and a couple ribs. thankfully she (and blue!) came out of it with no long term injuries. she’s been seriously injured before that but that was the worst

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

quite a few times! she was a pretty rough-and-tumble kid and got a few bad cuts/injuries as a kid, then when her mental health got worse she was checked into the hospital once as a teenager and another time as an adult; then she got into the accident, which had her spending a lot of time in the hospital, mostly for physical therapy and making sure her injuries were healing properly

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

see #15

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

yes!

30. Have they ever been bullied?

yes, all throughout school she got bullied for being a nerdy kid, for being an alternative kid, and towards the end of highschool for being queer (despite not even being out to herself)

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

abso-fuckin-lutely

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?

nope! she loves her mom and dad quite a bit, and they love her too! she’s incredibly close with her family, and her parents were the ones who fuelled her passion for music

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

most of her relationships before blue ended badly (granted, there was only a few of them!)

34. Have they ever self harmed?

yes; she’s cut herself before, quite a bit, although most people don’t know that. pretty much just blue and her sisters and ryka know

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

she’s at a point where she understands that even her flaws are part of her, and she doesn’t really have the urge to change herself anymore

that being said? if she could have horns - like massive black demon horns, not those weird plastic surgery skin horns people get - she would have those

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

she’s wrangled her emotions by now, but for most of her life, they controlled her

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

not really?

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?

she spent a night in county jail for breaking into an abandoned house with her friends lol

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?

her sisters would always blame petty shit on her when they were younger because she was the biggest troublemaker lol

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?

she tries not to anymore, but she often takes responsibility for others’ emotional states

41. Do they get sick often?

not really!

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

absolutely; she has a wonderful family, an awesome career, and general stability

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

she tries to live on the “no regrets” philosophy, but there are definitely things she would do differently (the way the break-up happened, bottling up all her emotions all the time, not getting mental health care until her late 20s, etc)

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

spend time with her family. the band makes her very busy and although she will often drop everything to do things with/for them, she still wishes she could be there more often

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

contentment!

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?

absolutely

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?

yes, twice; once when she was in college (which prompted her dropping out), and another time right after the break-up

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?

no, she hates the idea of killing anyone at all

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.

if her kids were taken from her and placed into foster care. despite being an adopted kid herself, she knows that the foster care system is most often traumatizing and abusive for the kids in it and she’d rather die than see her kids go through that without a chance at helping them or getting them back