#granted I don’t watch that much netflix these days

[thehmn]

I finally got to watch Viften (Empire) and it’s such a fascinating movie. It was written by Anna Neye who also plays Anna Heegaard, a rich free black woman who’s dating the Danish governor of the island.

It’s sold as an absurdist comedy and I think there’s no other way to describe it. There aren’t any real jokes but you often end up laughing at the absurdity of it all.

It’s extremely honest about the horrors Danes put the black population through but thankfully it only shows it in quick flashes of art as seen in the trailer. I once watched a video where they explained why most women aren’t into slasher movies and why black people generally don’t rewatch movies about racism and slavery. It’s because the the horrors shown are very real fears and a fact of life so the only people who can really enjoy watching a woman get horribly murdered as entertaining are men and only white people can watch a black person getting whipped to death with cinematic lighting and have a fun night out. By showing the horrors in art they get to be clear about exactly what is going on without coming off as exploitative.

But it’s also very honest about the ways a society based on slavery fucks with everyone. Most of the servants at the manor are slaves except the cook who bought her own freedom years ago. She tells the housekeeper Petrine that some day she too will be able to buy her freedom and get her own slave. That’s right, the freed black people aspire to get their own slaves because that’s the sort of values a society like this instills in people. And Anna tries to be as nice as possible to her own slaves but doesn’t take her own success for granted and is more afraid of an uprising than her white lover and ends up doing some really horrible things to her slaves to keep them down.

It also touches on how people viewed being black or white back then. That it wasn’t all about skin colour but also status. That’s why all the white people treat Anna as one of them. She’s a rich, educated lady so of course she’s “white”. Even Anna express contempt at being called black because she doesn’t work in the field. The poor freed black people also call Petrine white because she dress and acts like a Dane. Not as in “you are pretending to be white” but as in you are white.

And hats off to the director Frederikke Aspöck. There’s a scene where a woman buys her freedom and they put on a symbolic slave auction where she gets up on the podium and bids on herself. All the white neighbors have come to witness it because it’s seen as this joyous day and they all clap, she’s offered to drink with them and she’s all smiles. The director managed to make the scene wholesome while highlighting the absurdity of it and all you can do is chuckle because what the fuck? The white people think it’s a good thing that she’s free but continue to keep and mistreat their own slaves, and she no doubt dreams of getting her own down the road. It’s very much depicted as institutionalized racism and not just “a few bad eggs”.

And I didn’t know where to put this but there’s a lot of interesting symbolism going on with Anna’s dresses. She always wears dresses that match the colors of the rooms she’s in, establishing her as fully part of the system, but as she begins to realize that the Danish state will never see her as fully equal her colors start to clash with her surroundings.

I watched it on Netflix and it has English subtitles so it should be somewhere for English speakers to watch if you feel so inclined.

[donovankinard]

what's up guys!!! monthly recs - some holiday-related fics and then just general fics. i've not had as much opportunity to read fic as i normally do, and i'm pretty disappointed by that, but the hecticness of the holiday season has restrained me, unfortunately. for december we've got a lot of buddie and tevan, tarlos, bathena, mateo/nancy, polyfire, saltommy and a dash of henren! happy new years<3

🎁 cheap décor and flavoured cheer || @theclaravoyant evan buckley/eddie diaz/tommy kinard || 4k When Eddie flies back to El Paso, something goes terribly wrong. A fic about hurt/comfort, nostalgia, Christmas and coming home.

🔥 thursdays child has far to go|| @kinnsporsche evan buckley/tommy kinard || 17k Tommy laughs, as much as it can be called a laugh when he can barely get the air to do it, but his breath still grazes against Buck’s lips, the ghost of what he really wants. It’s warm, and Tommy’s still looking at him, and it’s been eighteen days, and he’s baked on nearly every one of them. They’re in a crashed helicopter and Tommy’s pinned down and it’s a terrible idea and it’s been eighteen days, he’s counted every one, and- Buck kisses him.

🔥 snowflakes falling like winter butterflies || 2pretty_2die evan buckley/tommy kinard || 1.6k “Oh man, I don’t think I’ve seen snow in nearly a decade.” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen snow outside of TV and movies.”An off-handed comment made while they cuddled on the couch watching Tommy’s favorite (Christmas) movie on Netflix ended with Buck scouring the internet for a surprise for his boyfriend.

🔥 Misperception || @emphasisonthehomo evan buckley/tommy kinard || 7.2k There’s a new kid at Harbor. He’s the youngest rookie they’ve ever gotten, one of those guys that went for the academy right out of high school. He’s also gay. Flamboyantly gay. Tommy’s jealous. OR: It doesn’t occur to Tommy that he should come out.

🔥 Bulletproof || ScarsLikeVelvet evan buckley/david 'deacon' kay || 1.1k (S.W.A.T. crossover). A rain of bullets is the beginning of the end for Evan's and Eddie's time at the 118. Their professional paths divide, but they remain close all the same while making new friends.

🔥 take my hand, heal my wound || 2pretty_2die evan buckley/donovan rocker || 1.2k (S.W.A.T. crossover). Buck expected a lot when it came to a day of hanging out with Christopher. He knew they’d play some games, maybe watch a movie, go indulge in some good food—because he has definitely turned the kid into a fellow foodie—and likely spend some time out in the sun. What he did not expect to happen was to end the day cleaning gravel from his boyfriend's hands.

🔥 A quiet place || @calinaannehart athena grant/bobby nash || 2.7k Athena had given up trying to sleep somewhere around three and had settled on the couch to wait for the sunrise. It used to be her favorite time of day, the array of reds, oranges, and yellows that painted the sky over the backyard as the sun inched its way over the horizon offering a prelude to a beautiful day. Now, however, it served as nothing more than a countdown.

🔥 Sprinkles of Joy|| BatThatBites mateo chavez/nancy gillian || 2k Mateo and Nancy are tasked with making the cookies for the 126 winter party. It can’t be that hard, right? ….Right?

🔥 A Crack In The Facade || immortalje carlos reyes/tk strand || 634w Working on last bits of release paperwork, Carlos tried to process the conversation he just had with TK and the glimpse it had given him behind the facade he wore for everyone else.

🔥 my lover's body is a map || @kinnsporsche evan buckley/tommy kinard || 15.5k They're all scarred. All of them. There isn't a single person in the firehouse that's unscarred, it's just the nature of the job. But that doesn't make the process of getting them any easier to deal with. Or: the one where Buck's drawn to Tommy's scars.

🔥 voyage || miss_tessa carlos reyes/tk strand || 1.4k The night before Carlos goes to see his father, and the moments after.

🔥 love from the other side || @fallout-mars carlos reyes/tk strand || 2.4k “Baby, oh my god,” TK replies, the words rushing out. Barely realizing what he’s doing, he manages to abandon the cups on the table over the hospital bed, moving to his husband. He’s glad he has enough hindsight—or paramedic instincts—to go to his uninjured side, because his first response is to help steady Carlos. He’s fine on his feet, but TK does it anyway, just to feel helpful. “What are you doing up?” he asks as he leads Carlos back to his bed. “You really shouldn’t be up, baby. I thought I could leave you alone for five minutes without you walking around.” Carlos says nothing until he’s back in bed, groaning softly as he lies down. TK follows, hovering over him so he can fluff up the pillow Carlos puts his head on, and that’s when Carlos sighs.

🔥 Campbell’s Soup for the Soon-to-Be Ranger Daddy’s Soul || cyrusbreeze carlos reyes/tk strand || 3.7k Carlos reflects on the possibility of raising Jonah with TK. Ranger Campbell and his family offer a surprising amount of clarity.

🔥 We can make it out (right?) || BatThatBites mateo chavez/nancy gillian || 2.7k Nancy didn’t expect to have her hands sticky with her boyfriend’s blood. Mateo didn’t expect to be bleeding out in a warehouse fire. They both didn’t expect an asteroid to be hurtling towards Austin

🔥 looking forward to the future || @fallout-mars carlos reyes/tk strand || 1.5k Glancing over his shoulder, he looks into the empty backseat of their truck. He stretches a little, careful not to strain himself or his stitches, then gestures behind him with one hand. “You think we’ll be able to get a car seat in here?” Meeting TK’s eye, he gets a blank stare in return. “What?” “A car seat,” Carlos repeats. “It’s good we ended up with this. There’s no way we’d fit one in the Camaro. In fact, we’d be violating multiple traffic offences if we did.”

🔥 you can breathe now || @decafdino carlos reyes/tk strand || 1.7k He gets the call while he's at work, because of course he does. Of course the universe decides that something terrible is going to happen in the middle of a shift. Well, fuck the universe. That's TK's philosophy.

🔥 I can't explain what's up with me today || @neversleepuntilfive carlos reyes/tk strand || 1.3k "Hey baby, are you okay?” TK quietly asks his boyfriend, who is sitting on their couch with his head slumped against the armrest. He just came home from his long shift. Carlos doesn’t answer him immediately, contemplating if he can gather his strength and push through it so TK isn’t worried. The truth is the day was horrible. He doesn’t even know why. Carlos usually gets up with the sun. But today, he doesn't. He's feeling terrible and can't think of a reason why. There is no reason as far as he is concerned.

🔥 Not your fault but mine || Liv_lily carlos reyes/tk strand || 13k TK stood just outside the recovery room they’d wheeled Carlos into, leaning heavily against the wall. There’d been a never-ending stream of medical professionals going in and out since the surgeon had let them know that everything went well, that a full recovery could be expected with time. He squeezes shaking hands into fists and tries to control his breathing, tries to stop the weight on his chest from collapsing in. He feels shaky and nauseous, panic crawling up his spine. Deep breaths, four count in through your nose. Hold four counts. Four count out your through your mouth. He tries to match his breathing to the slow beeping of the vital signs monitor, tries to take comfort in the steady rhythm. He should go into the room.

🔥 in our reflections of one another (we will start something new) || cyrusbreeze carlos reyes/tk strand || 212k (SERIES). Four years before the events of the pilot, Carlos and TK met in a bar in New York City. Their intense one night stand resulted in more than just a lasting impression. When TK arrives in Austin, both Carlos’ and TK’s worlds are rocked to their core and the impact of their night together has ripples that will last for the rest of their lives.

🔥 I am sorry for your loss || carlando_addict carlos reyes/tk strand || 2.3k TK dies and Carlos tries to process what his future will look like without the love of his life.

🔥 Faithless Plea || lonechronicles evan buckley/eddie diaz || 8.2k “I have done everything I was supposed to and still my life has fallen apart, and been ripped to shreds. I, I don’t know how much more I have left in me. You have taken everything from me. You can not have him too. You can’t take him away from me too. Please, please, don’t take him away too. Give Buck back to me because I cannot survive this, I cannot survive anything without him.” His voice was loud, not yelling, but loud enough that if someone had come outside they’d hear a voice. “I don’t even know if I believe in you but here I am, asking, begging, praying, a faithless plea if you will, just, please. Please, for the love of everything that you stand for, bring him back to me. I don’t survive this if he doesn’t make it.”

🔥 Him || lonechronicles evan buckley/eddie diaz || 5k He’s trapped in his head. The lyrics eating at him from every corner of his being. Religion and God and the sins of loving another man, the story vivid in his mind. A man raised on faith, feeling lost and disconnected. Trying to find himself, to understand himself, while feeling like that removes him from everything he's been taught to believe in. Feeling like connecting to himself will rip him away from everything that he knows, alienates him from his family, leaves him heartbroken and alone. So he hides. Hides himself, shelves his feelings and pushes through with what he’s meant to do. There’s a path perfectly laid out for him and it’s safer to follow it. It’s easier. He loses himself but everything else in his life stays intact, and that might just be enough. At least it is for a while.

🔥 you will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing || @smilingbuckley evan buckley/eddie diaz || 2k Buck mopes, has a conversation with Bobby, and goes to a charity event.

🔥 a wolf without a foot || @screamlet evan buckley/tommy kinard || 34k Tommy wants to find his way back to Buck, but he has to find a way through himself first.

🔥 They Can't Take That Away From Me || @rdng1230 evan buckley/tommy kinard || 3.5k Tommy dabs the corners of his mouth with a napkin and gets up from the table, going over to the record player. “Is it wrong that I kinda like that there’s these gaps in your musical knowledge?” Tommy sighs, slipping a record out of the sleeve and placing it on the turn table. “You teach me so much, it’s nice to be able to show you things too. Makes me feel like I’m listening to things for the first time.” Buck feels his heart swell three sizes. He still feels like Tommy’s the one instructing him most of the time. And here comes his boyfriend calling him the teacher. He has a sneaking suspicion his love for this man will never stop growing.

🔥 Shafted || @sunnywithachanceofbi sal deluca/tommy kinard || 6.1k When the 118 are called to rescue a group of employees trapped in an elevator shaft, the power goes out again mid-rescue, leading one of the crew to get hurt.

🔥 100 Days of Henren || @theclaravoyant hen wilson/karen wilson || 4k (ongoing drabble collection). A series of 118-word drabbles centred on Hen, Karen and/or both. Written for 118dailydrabbles hiatus challenge.

🔥 Frost & Found || @sunnywithachanceofbi evan buckley/tommy kinard || 13k Two years after losing his husband (Sal), Tommy magically brings a handsome snowman (Buck) to life! Through his naïveté, the snowman helps Tommy to laugh, feel and love again, as the two fall for each other just in time for the holidays...and before he melts. ☃️

🔥 proof of god in your soup || cardiacsweetheart evan buckley/eddie diaz || 13.5k “God, we’re too old for this.” “What, love confessions?” Buck asks, just to be annoying. Eddie glares at him. “Not what I meant, but sure.” Or: Buck thinks he was born to be left behind. Eddie proves him wrong.

🔥 sell your fear and leave me standing here || @redgoldblue evan buckley/tommy kinard || 12.8k Buck bakes, has sex, and goes to gay bingo. Tommy wallows, gets told off, and wallows some more. Eventually, they kiss again.

🔥 The "Tommy Writes Hotshots Fanfic" Series || @herrmannhalsteadproduction evan buckley/tommy kinard || 7.7k Tommy gets sucked into the Hotshots fandom. (It's Karen and Maddie's fault.)

🔥 Chasing Fires || @thatmexisaurusrex evan buckley/tommy kinard || 150k 24-year-old Tommy Kinard meets 19-year-old Evan Buckley as Evan tries to steal food at a grocery store. Tommy decides to let Evan crash at his place until Evan figures out what his next steps are, giving Evan the same help someone had given Tommy when he had been kicked out of his house years ago.

🔥 our secret moments in a crowded room (they've got no idea about me and you) || @speaknowbuckley evan buckley/eddie diaz || 13.3k Professional Baseball Player Eddie Diaz and Professional Football Player Evan "Buck" Buckley have been married for the past six years, not that anyone outside of their close circle of friends and family knows that. But after they're photographed together and the internet starts going wild with sleuthing and conspiracy theories about their relationship, they're forced to consider whether or not the time may be right to come out publicly.

🔥 comeback of the year || @ambernotember evan buckley/tommy kinard || 5.1k Casey distracted him with stories of baby eagles and a dispensary hostage situation while Tommy drank his whiskey and worked his way towards telling Casey what had happened with Evan.

🔥 with a little help from your (best) friend || @exhaustedpirate evan buckley/tommy kinard || 1.9k “Why aren’t you wearing pants?” (or, what happened after buck and eddie sat down the couch)

STATS: # of fics: 35 # of authors: 30 # of words read: 575k

[gotskamstuff]

Season 4 pt.1 debuting with over 15.5 million views in the first 3 days and pt. 2 debuting with close to HALF the views in the same amount of days is bringing me too much satisfaction, sorry not sorry.

I truly feel sorry for the rest of the cast and people who work on the show, but I’m glad to see the fandom response reflecting into the views ‘cause I feel like sometimes shows, especially with this amount of success and popularity, take for granted the viewers affection and think they can feed us any crap without consequences and we’re gonna eat it up with no problem, like we’re gonna stay here no matter what ‘cause we’re addicted to it…doesn’t work like that, you gotta keep your audience by giving them something good.

Each show loses viewers from pt.1 to pt.2 in the debut and it’s known, but basically half of it is a lot (also considering how pt. 1 stayed at n.1 in the top 10 for over 2 weeks, but only 1 week later pt. 2 has already dropped at n.3 with lowering compared to pt.1 who stayed consistent)

Considering that Outer Banks had always counted on a young and loyal fanbase GLOBALLY that’s ready to hit play the instant the season drops, 8.5 million views globally in 3 days is really a strong message to them.

Whether you’re personally ok or not with the way S4 ended, it’s a fact that they screwed up with a huge chunk of their own audience that kept the popularity of the show alive and if they managed to lose this amount of engagement and excitement towards the series in 3 days then good luck to them to keep the interest alive UNTIL 2026.

I think they downplayed and probably still downplay the role of JJ in terms of engagement, S4 already lost numbers compared to S3 (after they probably lost occasional viewers over the bore s3 was) and I can’t even imagine the drop that S5 will be.

They screwed up big time and no matter how much they try to do damage control now, no matter how much they wait for the audience to calm down, no matter how much they try to ignore it…they lost a good part of their own fanbase and probably occasional audience as well.

IF the waters are ever gonna calm down it surely won’t be ‘cause the problem is solved and people got over it, but simply because people won’t be there at all and will have lost their involvement with the show altogether.

Maybe the Pates will learn for their next project to treat the set like an actual workplace and not a college dorm. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes.

I mean it with my whole chest when I say that without JJ I’m never gonna watch S5, and I have been close to an addicted fan of this show for almost 5 years, but the story died with him. They took away the character that was the symbol of this show and who’s story we were rooting for the most, and although yes, there is also other things to the story…the interests in all the rest doesn’t quite measure up with the loss. I know that many people feel the same way (and if you reading this personally don’t, good for you but I think the general response speaks for itself).

They doomed the show by killing the fan favorite, killing the largest ship fandom of the show and by ruining the storyline that created the most engagement and curiosity that had us rooting for it.

They took for granted the fanbase that made the show what it is today and blindly spitted on us thinking we’d be passive about it. The fans make or break a show.

Bring back JJ and you have the opportunity to make the GAG of the century and get the biggest positive response from your own audience to end the show…don’t and see the show collapse and lose it’s reputation and legacy for good. Simple as that🤷🏻‍♀️

I will never shut up about it ‘cause this is the biggest fumble of a Netflix series I have ever witnessed and the biggest let down I have ever experienced with a show (yeah worse than Game of thrones final season).

[rosakuma]

Hey you, yes you random tumblr user who hopefully so happens to get this post on their timeline.

🫵😐

I have a question for you. Do you like a show about magical creatures who grant your every wish? A show about a pair quite strange that are a funny duo as they try helping out a girl who just moved to a new city feeling all alone? A comedically fun show with a surprisingly good life lessons and a fun cast of characters that bounce off each other well? Along with some good representation of both POC and LGBT groups. A show with strangely enough entertaining drama between two 10 years old that’s makes you go “Awww the sillies” and “NOOOOO WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO THEM!? *sobs* “ that tugs at your heartstrings? Not to mention Daddy Issues~✨ A show with a lovable black girl protagonist who cares about others as she tries putting others first, has a wild imagination of ideas, goes through internal struggles about herself and what others think of her, and loves rocks and French fries also maybe autistic coded too?

Well do I have the show for you!

Comso, Wanda if you please?

That’s right folks! The reboot/sequel to the classic nicktoon show The Fairly Oddparents : A New Wish is out right now internationally on Netflix! And you can check it out to see the fun adventures of Hazel Wells, a 10 year old girl who recently moved to a new city with her parents away from her older brother who was her best friend she rely on, but now is off to college. To which Cosmo and Wanda, two fairy godparents, who decided to come out of retirement to help her out with dealing with her new environment and situations she’ll get herself into.

It also is the show with that purple guy with swirly hair you’d seen on tumblr before? That’s right, Peri!

If I was able to peak your interest on the show, please go check it out on Netflix! And only watch it on Netflix as the show’s fate to get a second season depends on the views on Netflix for it to be greenlit for one. So no pirating and if you don’t have Netflix to be able to watch it, spread the word! To help get this show a second season is to help the talented crew members who work hard to deliver such a charming show that is a wonderful and fateful continuation of the OG it’s based off. Along with a win for animation since it’s been hard in the animation industry as of right now with animators, editors, storyboard artists, writers, and others in this industry struggling to be able to continue working on projects they love that also is their source of income. So be willing to lend a hand to help out to those people the best you can so that they can continue to have work and make fun shows like this one! Also it determines the fate of a certain character to hopefully get a happy ending and a good redemption arc plz my child deserves a second chance

Also here’s some advices for when watching A New Wish:

Try watching an episode or two a day. Putting it on loop too much might make seem not real viewers are watching and the views won’t count. Plus it be boring to speed through the first half of the season.

Try rewatching the show from time to time. Maybe watch it with a friend or two. Or perhaps a family member who enjoyed the OG show. Watch it with your dog maybe too!

Despite the show being out and most of the stuff being talked about already, keep talking about it to spread the word online! Any socials like tumblr, instagram, twitter, blue sky, tik tok you name it!

Also don’t post spoilers for any new viewers you see around. It’s more fun for them to experience first hand.

Alrighty, I shall take my leave now, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy FOP ANW!

[lilystyles]

watermelon sugar, highhhh.

part two of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note part two baby, enjoy! i hope you all like it i'm still a bit iffy about it! gif creds to original owner. BTW THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE FIRST PART OF THIS SERIES KISSES TO U ALL I APPRECIATE ALL THE REBLOGS AND LIKES XX (i can't believe the amount of likes fr!)

brief description basically why harry wrote watermelon sugar high, in my head at least anyway. ;)))

warnings! mentions of sex and sexual themes, smut! (f! receiving, fingering) drug abuse (reader doesn't participate), and swearing. around 5k words :)

inexperienced!virgin!reader x high!fwb!harry

* * * * *

It had been a few weeks since she last saw Harry. She had been avoiding the whole situation completely. If someone asked her she’d deny avoiding him. But whenever she shut her eyes all she saw was him, those green eyes. So he wasn’t forgotten.

Y/n was absolutely ruined that evening. After her long day of lectures, she was so overwhelmed this week and was not feeling her best. She felt like giving up and taking a nap. She had only just gotten home from uni and it was dark outside, she felt like she hadn’t stopped all week. So she was thankful it was a Friday because she didn’t know what she’d do if she had to get up tomorrow morning. She decided to take a long shower and wash the day off her skin and warm up. It had been a long cold and rainy day. She just wanted to get cosy and relax. Get out of this bra, these clothes.

When she got out of the shower smelling fresh and feeling warm, she decided to order Italian for dinner from the local place near her and have a quiet night in, she couldn’t be bothered to cook. 

The group had invited her out tonight but she was so tired she couldn’t be bothered. Anyway, Harry was going and she wasn’t ready to face him just yet. Things had been different ever since New Year’s. She felt different around him, and she didn’t know what that would mean for their friendship. She valued it so much and was worried she’d ruined it. She didn’t know what to do.

She called up the Italian place for dinner while scrolling through Netflix. She sighed, sadly. She felt so stupid right now.

She ordered enough food to fill up her rumbling stomach and pressed play on an all-time favourite comfort movie of hers. Notting Hill. God, she loved Hugh Grant. Harry used to make fun of how much she would watch this when they were roommates and honestly he wasn’t wrong. She watched it more than the average person, but was that such a crime?

She had gotten about a third of the way into the film when her phone buzzed on the table. She rarely got texts anymore, especially considering she only really talked to Daisy by text. She just called everyone else. She was expecting a drunk selfie from Daisy saying how sad she was sad that Y/n wasn’t there. But it wasn’t her.

NO CALLER ID

Y/n why didn’t you come out tonight? I miss you.

She was confused about who it could be. It had to be one of her mates. But seriously she had all their numbers. So who was this?

who is this?

The text was read instantly. Then three dots. Y/n’s heart weirdly began to race.

NO CALLER ID

It’s H. 

Obviously.

Who else are you texting at this hour, missy???

She giggled. He must be drunk, he was always like this when he was drunk. Even though she had been avoiding him; he was like a breath of fresh air. She had missed him. She now realised in the two years he had been away from her she had missed him, too much to let him go.

u drunk haz?

bc u sound drunk.

The text was again read instantly.

NO CALLER ID

I’m not drunk! How dare you!1!!!1

i don’t believe you harold.

NO CALLER ID

:((((((

Y/nnnnnnnnnn

why you sad?

NO CALLER ID

I want you.

what does that mean H?

Read. Then suddenly the replies stopped. Y/n felt stupid all over again but after ten minutes of checking, she put her phone down and tried to focus on the film. She was kind of worried though, was he okay? 

Thoughts of him disappeared as the food arrived. 

She ate slowly and sluggishly while Notting Hill continued to play. It was now up to the bit where naked photos of her had just been realised and she came rushing to Hugh Grant’s aid. She liked this part, it was so intimate and romantic. 

Her tiredness got the best of her though, her full belly and the warmth that her fireplace gave her sent her right off to dreamland. Notting Hill continued to play while she curled up under her old knitted blanket. Soft snores escaped her mouth as the fire crackled.

When she woke up it was probably around two am. She was startled and in the dark, Notting Hill was over, the fire had turned to coals, and the rain had turned to thunder. There was a banging at the door. She thought in her fuzzy mind it might be Daisy or even Miss Jones from next door who was an old lady that always thought Y/n was being loud. She sighed walking over to the door and opening it. Rubbing her eyes. Preparing for either a drunk best mate or an angry old woman.

It was neither of the people she expected. Sleep was still with her, eyes squinted and sore, and her voice was gravelly and quiet when she spoke. 

“Harry?”

He was smirking, of course, dimples and all. Eyes all hooded and sultry, he looked edible like this.

His hair was wet but his clothes were dry except for the tops of his shoulders. He was in a 70s ensemble. This orangey red shaded v-neck jumper was on his chest, some dark wash vintage flares on his legs, and some old white boots. His eyes were red and he was obviously under the influence. Of what? Well, she’d soon find out.

“Can I come in?” He asked. She nodded stepping out of the way. Even though things were different the love for him was still there, she’d have let him in her door no matter what, and she would always be at his beck and call. That’s what scared her. 

“Cute shorts.” He said touching her hip, Y/n blushed up at him. 

They were these old bunny print ones that were too small but she refused to throw them out. She was wearing the bunny slippers that matched too and some shirt that she actually thinks was Harry’s back from when they were roommates. It was navy and so worn it had faded.

He stepped inside. She could smell the potent scent of weed and his cologne. “I’m not going to lie, I’ve ‘ad some spliffs tonight. But I wanted to see you regardless. This just sorta’ happened, y’know how James and I get when we are together.”

Y/n did know. The number of times she’d have to help him get to bed way back when.

“Haz darling, I’m going to go home,” Y/n said softly. He was sat on the couch, high as a kite. 

“What? Why?” He sat up now. Hand reaching hers. 

She smiled. “Not really in the mood tonight, Haz. That’s okay though. Stay, have fun with James. Be safe, yeah?”

He stood up, all wobbly. She helped him steady himself. “Don’t go. Please?”

He got really affectionate and soft when he was high. She’d noticed that. Drunk Harry was all loud laughs and chaos. This scintillating star. High Harry was mellow and touchy. Like a teddy bear.

“‘M tired though, H.”

He grabbed his coat from the couch. “Then I’ll come too.”

She sighed pouting softly. “Not trying to ruin your fun, I know how you and James are.”

“You aren’t. Promise. Take me home please.” He said grabbing her hand. She smiled up at him. 

“Okay.”

��I love you, you know.” He said resting his head on her hair. “Y’one of m’best friends.”

“I love you too, Harry. Always.”

“Okay.” She said softly and he followed her to the couch, which was still warm from her sleeping body.

He put a hand on her thigh it was warm and soft to his touch, and he stroked it to calm them both. There was a nervous energy in the room, which was rare for them. It had always been calm and tranquil when they were together.

“Sorry for waking y’up.” He said, genuinely seeming apologetic.

“It’s alright, Haz. What’s up?” She had a feeling about what he’d say next.

He sighed. “I know we said we’d forget it, but I can’t. I really can’t.”

“It was supposed to be no strings attached…” Y/n said quietly. Because she thought that’s what he wanted.

He looked over. “I know. That’s why I came here.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked down at his hands nervously. “I wanted to talk to you about the whole one-night-only thing.”

“Go on….” She turned her body to face him, eyes glued to his handsome face.

“I want to be with you like that again. I want more than just that night Y/n. It's driving me mad. I want you so fucking bad.” He said waiting for a response, nervous.

She could tell he was high, but she could also tell he was telling the truth. He didn’t tend to lie when he was high. “Like friends with benefits?”

“Yeah sure….only if you want to though. I got the impression that you regretted the other night, but if there’s even the slightest chance you might want this. I need to know. If you don’t, well, at least I’ll know. It’s the not knowing that’s making me crazy, Love.”

She put her hand on top of his giving it a squeeze. “I don’t regret it, H. How could I regret you? I just- I don’t know how I’m supposed to be around you now.”

He laughed a short laugh leaning into her side. “Just be yourself Y/n.”

“Easier said than done.”

He just shook his head at her. 

“It’s a deal.”

Harry’s head snapped over, eyes wide and heart pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears. “What?”

She laughed, throwing her head back. “I want to. I really do, but you know we can’t do anything tonight, right?”

His smile quickly turned into a big pout. Hair falling over his eyes. “What? Why?”

“You are unbelievably high. Look at those pupils!” She jested hands resting on his cheeks as she looked into his eyes. There was hardly any green left in them.

“They always get like that when I’m with you.” He leaned closer to show her them. The green had been swallowed by black, his long eyelashes fluttering. His eyelids had gone all swollen from smoking. 

She rolled her eyes at him pushing his head gently away. “Shut up. You really are terribly charming. It’s annoying Harold, you know that?”

“Why’s that?” He smiled hands rubbing her thighs. Her soft plump skin was soothing to play with. His hands were calloused but still soft against her.

“I feel like one of your fangirls. Seriously. Speaking of which, we better keep this a secret shouldn’t we?” She put her legs to rest on his lap. His hand stroked her shin gently, relaxing into the couch. He leaned back against the couch, feeling calm.

He cocked his head. “Why?”

“You’re a rockstar. I’m just some random from Holmes Chapel. I reckon your fans will go crazy.”

He frowned. “They know who you are already but just for our privacy, I think so. It’s hard being under the spotlight. I don’t want your privacy taken from you just because of me. People who I’m seeing or any girl really get a lot of hate, I don’t want that to happen to you.”

She nodded, letting silence fill the space.

“Can I eat you out now?” He said abruptly. 

She laughed in shock her face turning bright red as she laughed loudly. “No.”

He pouted like a little kid throwing a tantrum. “I just wanna taste you.”

He knew how to get her all riled up. She hated it, he really was good at everything he did. Proving all previous fantasies to be correct.

“Harry, we can’t. It’d be taking advantage.” She replied, knowing she wanted him more than anything right now.

“Of who? Me? It doesn’t matter how sober, drunk, or high I am Y/n ’m still gonna’ want to eat yeh' out so bad.”

She laughed shyly getting up. She had never been so openly wanted, he made her feel sexy. It was a strange feeling because her whole life she had been told she was anything but. Especially because she'd gone this long being a virgin. “Let’s just sleep. Maybe when your sober, okay?”

He pouted again, grabbing her extended hand as she helped him find her room. His arms wrapped around her shoulders across her chest as he followed, feet heavy on the rug.

Her bedroom was chilly when they stepped inside. He clung to her for a moment his nose brushing against her neck, lips grazing her skin. “S’cold in here.”

“Yeah.” She replied, feeling goosebumps arise. She didn’t know if it was the cold or Harry who made her feel that way. 

He began to take off his clothes until he was just in boxers she was gonna offer him some clothes but he didn’t seem to care about being naked near her.

She stared at the art that was his body. She hadn’t had much chance to ogle him when they were together last. She noticed the new tattoos, itching to touch them, and ask about them but she refrained.

The tanned skin and rippling muscles, the whisps of hair on his chest, the snail trail on his navel. He was just fucking gorgeous.

“You're staring.” He said. She chose to ignore him, which only made him laugh at her.

She lifted the blankets for him. They were different sheets from last time. These were pink and Harry recognised them from when they were roommates. 

“In you get.”

He jumped in childishly and she joined him. 

Her window was slightly ajar so they could hear the rain bucketing down, it was loud but peaceful. He curled into her back. His hand slid onto her stomach underneath her shirt as he pressed her closer to him, soaking up her warmth.

“G’night, love.”

“Night Harry. Sweet dreams.” She replied.

He kissed her neck. “Trust me, they will be very sweet.” 

Harry was an early riser, he always had been. He loved the mornings. Even when they were roommates and he’d been out partying he’d still get up earlier than Y/n. She on the other hand hated mornings, she always got so grumpy and if he could he avoided waking her up at all costs. 

Even after his late night yesterday, he was still the first up of them both. It was around half past six, and the rain was still heavy and coming down. He sighed peacefully, Y/n was still curled up at his side soft breaths escaping her mouth. She looked so peaceful in his arms.

They’d barely moved all night, the last thing he remembered was her by his side tracing his tattoos with her fingers. Her leg was thrown over his hips and her arms were still clinging to his body. He could stay like this forever. He was kind of foggy after last night, he’d forgotten he’d come all the way over here, but it was a pleasant surprise to have her there next to him.

She moved quite a bit in her sleep, he’d always known that about her. She began to squirm a bit shifting her hips against his side, thigh rubbing over his boxers. “Mm.” She groaned, and he watched her to see if she was awake. But nothing. 

She kept wriggling against him, and against his own will, he felt his boxers grow tighter. He sighed, holding in a laugh at the thought of last night. It’s honestly the only thing that had been on his mind for days, which probably made him sound like a horny old bastard, but he’d never felt like that before except with Y/n. All she’d done was give him a blowjob and he’d had enough of those to know how it goes.

He’d even started a song about this feeling. It was in the works, but he had to laugh at himself. It was about the female orgasm. Or as he called it “the sweetness in life.” He really couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the idea once again. 

His tongue, her. How perfect would it be? Like art being made.

He felt her start to make more noise beside him, pulling him out of his filthy thoughts. 

“H?” She whispered groggily, voice hoarse. 

He looked down. “Hi, petal.”

She rumbled a groan, stretching her arms out her shirt riding up revealing her tummy. “What time is it?” He reminded her of a cat, all stretched out like that.

“I dunno, early though. Probably sixish.” He replied, hand rubbing her back. “How’d you sleep?”

“I can’t focus on what you just said when your dicks hard sticking into me,” She teased, “Can you start again?”

He laughed cheeks going a bit pink. “Sorry, I would’ve moved you but you are not the happiest in the mornings, I wanted to keep my head from being bitten off.”

She rolled her eyes ignoring that comment. “How long have you been awake?”

“A little while.” His eyes hadn’t moved off her face the entire time. 

“How’d you sleep?”

He pulled her closer, one hand on her lower back and the other on her thigh. She could really feel him now. It made this whole thing seem real. This was the first time they’d been like this when they were sober. Her confidence felt smaller and weaker. The tequila was what gave her the courage to get with him in the first place. 

“Perfectly.”

She just nodded trying not to focus on his achingly hard cock sticking into her. The feel of him already had her giddy. “Good. Can I make you a tea or coffee? You hungry?”

She was about to get up but he grabbed her. “‘M ravenous,”

She innocently started to list off what she had for food in her flat. “Well I have some toast, I can make pancakes, and I have cheerios—”

“You’re so cute, Y/n.”

She cocked her head. “Uh- Thanks?”

He kissed her hairline, “I haven’t forgotten our conversation from last night. Have you?”

She blushed, finally realising what he was insinuating. “No. How could I forget that?”

“Can I kiss you?”

She nodded, moving her face close to his, and their noses brushed softly.

As he leaned forward she could feel his warm breath on her face. He pecked her lips softly at first pulling back to kiss her nose too, then one of her rosy cheeks. Before finally placing his lips on hers firmer this time. It was deep and slow, with no urgency in it. He wanted to take his time and enjoy waking up with such an opportunity in front of him. 

He wanted her like this every morning. 

Y/n knew she’d never had a boyfriend let alone a friends-with-benefits before this. The most she’d done is kiss a few dates or strangers in a bar. But for some reason, she felt this was rather intimate for two people who claimed to be just friends who have just sex.

What drew the line between friends who are fucking and people dating? Is the fact they slept together and cuddled up all night something more than friends do? Or is it all part of this whole deal they had, did that just come with it? She had no idea, and she wondered if Harry was like this with everyone he slept with casually. She had to admit sometimes she got sad when she saw how he made everyone feel special. It made her feel just like any other girl he’d been with. When he was far from anything she’d ever experienced and honestly she’d probably compare every other boy to him after this.

That’s what scared her. 

And then of course she thought that if she wasn’t so inexperienced maybe she’d be calmer about the whole casual thing. But Y/n didn’t do casual. She was all or nothing. But if Harry wanted casual she’d do it. She’d do more for him than she cared to admit.

The kiss grew fierier and that felt more like the first time they were together — it was all tongues and teeth. He began to roll on top of her, pressing his hard cock against her and her yearning for him grew even stronger. She honestly thought herself pathetic for how wet he made her, they’d done practically nothing and already her heart was beating fast, her chest heaving against his.

His hands slid up under her shirt massaging her tits gently, as he began to kiss her neck. The hickey he’d left last had faded now which gave him the motivation to do another and who was she to tell him no? Her hands were in his hair massaging him as she sighed contently. Letting out moans every few seconds from the pleasure his touch brought.

How did he already know her body so well? It was like he could read her mind. And yet every move he made seemed so effortless. 

“Take it off.” Y/n sighed gesturing to her shirt. Harry didn’t need to be told twice, he ripped it off and throwing somewhere neither cared to look as his mouth roamed along the peaks of her tits, nipples suddenly hard. Her back arched up to his hot, wet mouth.

His tongue swiped along them and Y/n whined needily, her hands now on his shoulders as her hips bucked up. He sucked just below one of them, leaving a mark Y/n knew she’d touch whenever she thought of him after this. His hands were on her waist fiddling with the waistband of her very small shorts. He kissed down her stomach and on her hip tattoo. 

“When’d ya’ get this lil’ number?” He asked, moving the shorts to reveal a small yet noticeable tattoo. It was a little moth kind of similar to the one on Harry but smaller. 

“I got it with Daisy on a whim one night. I actually used you as inspiration. I didn’t know what else to get. I’ve always loved your tattoos.”

His heart swelled and he kissed it. “It’s sexy.” She smiled, face all pink, eyes soft. 

“Can I touch you, Harry?”

He shook his head and she frowned confused. “Why not?”

“Because I want this to be about you.” He replied. 

She pouted at him reaching for his hand. 

“Don’t give me that, be good f’me and let me make y’feel good Petal.” He said tapping it away.

“Okay, I’ll be good.”

He said. “Atta girl.” 

She felt her stomach twist in want. “You can take those off too.”

So he did. He had an inkling she hadn’t any undies under there and his theory was proven correct. 

“Sorry I didn’t shave, I didn’t know this would happen.” He looked up at her, his fingertips gliding up her inner thigh. 

“Don’t be silly, Y/n.”

Harry constantly raised her standards every second. 

“Don’t boys get repulsed by hair?” She asked. 

He laughed staring right at her dripping hole, his eyes looked hungry, lips slightly parted. “Yeah exactly, boys. Not real men. I firmly believe men who care don’t actually like pussy. I love pussy, what’s a little hair anyway?”

“I guess m’ just nervous, H.” She replied, looking away. 

He stopped, hands freezing. “D’ya want me to stop?”

Her hands moved from her stomach to his cheeks, stubble grazing her hands. “No,” She said faster than she had wanted to, which actually made him smirk. “I just- What if I do it wrong?”

“How can you do anything wrong? You just have to let me take care of you. Relax, Love. It’s just me.”

“Just Harry,” She confirmed and he kissed her thigh. She felt the stubble graze her and felt her pussy throb deeply. She was yearning for him. 

“Tell me if y’want me to stop, okay?” 

She nodded. “I will.”

He lifted her legs up placing them on his muscular shoulders, pulling her close by her hips. Every single touch and movement of his was teasing and getting her so worked up she was about ready to beg him for it. His breath was making her squirm against his face when he finally decided to kiss her puffy clit which was swollen in arousal. She was taken back to New Year’s when she kissed the tip of his throbbing dick. All pink and slick.

She let out a heavy breath shutting her eyes. One of his hands found hers and she held it, stroking her thumb over his knuckles in encouragement because she was worried her voice would be too shaky. Without further hesitation, his warm tongue lapped up all the wetness dripping down her pretty pussy. 

She whimpered. Was it supposed to feel this good?

He started to suck on her clit, lapping it up over and over. The noise of what he was doing to her was pure filth. Her hand was in his hair tugging at it as she cried out. She tried to stop her hips from squirming but it felt so good. 

“Fuck, Harry.” She said letting out a shakey breath when his tongue started licking her wet hole. 

She gave his hair a particular rough tug and he grunted against her. The vibrations made her whine.

She felt his free hand move against her pussy fingertips tracing up his spit and her slick. Before he began to tease her some more. The tip of his middle finger slid in ever so slightly, her hips leaning into the touch before he pulled away again. He was still harshly sucking her clit, and Y/n couldn’t help but whimper. 

“Harry, please.”

He looked up at her from his position. His eyes met hers as he greedily lapped her up. His finger went in slightly further reaching halfway before he pulled away again. She threw her head back in defeat. He wanted her to beg. 

“Please, H. I want you so bad.” She said, shutting her eyes. 

She felt him pull back for a brief second. “These kinds of things can’t be rushed, Babe.”

She sighed, he was taking his time with her, enjoying every sound that came from her swollen lips. The noise of her slick, dripping pussy against his mouth. The sweet tangy taste of her. Those hands of hers that ran through his hair and tugged when he did something particularly good. He was going to make sure she was satisfied.

He went straight back to it. This time his finger went all the way, knuckle deep, as he grazed that spot that made her scream. He heard her whisper, “Fucking hell.”

He pulled his finger out again. His tongue and lips still working hard against her puffy sensitive clit. She couldn’t contain her moans. They turned on Harry so much that every few seconds he found himself humping against the bed for some relief. 

Her hips bucked up, her thighs squeezing his head unintentionally. He made her so riled up she could barely control her body. Her legs were already shaking from the pleasure. 

When his finger slipped in the next time it stayed. She sighed contently as he began to thrust against her walls that tightened around him every few seconds. His rhythm wasn’t fast or sloppy it was slow but hard. A steady rhythm. They curled inside her and each time he hit that spongey spot and sucked her clit just right her eyes rolled back in her head. 

“Harry,” She begin to chant like a mantra over and over which only egged him on more and more.

She could feel her stomach begin to tighten, and her hands came up to play with her tits. Kneading them and pinching her nipples. The wave of her orgasm snuck up on her, her back arching and her hands finding Harry’s free hand on her thigh to squeeze in a warning.

“Fuck! I’m cumming!” She cried out. 

Harry felt her clench like a vice on his fingers as she got wetter and wetter. He felt it drip down his wrist as she whimpered. Her thighs clenched against his wrist as she writhed uncontrollably beneath him. His tongue and finger didn’t stop though. He looked up through hooded eyes at her gorgeous face. 

Her hair was fanned out above her head, tossed back, mouth agape in an o shape, and her cheeks were all flushed and pink. Her eyes rolled back as she screamed out. “Ah! Fuck!”

When she started to come down from the peak of her orgasm Harry continued helping her ride it out. She thought he would stop, she was so whimpery and sensitive.

“Got another one in ya’?” He asked, looking up. 

“Maybe.”

That was enough for him to keep going. He slipped another finger inside her, he started speeding up now. 

“Look at you, so good f’me.” He said, his voice all gravelly.

She whimpered pathetically, squirming. Already feeling a building in her stomach.

“All spread out, ruined, taking me like a good girl. Such a good girl.” Y/n clenched against his fingers at that comment.

“Jesus, Harry. You’ll be, ah, the death of me.” She replied. 

He just laughed at her. Starting to speed up his thrusts.

Y/n let her eyes flutter shut as she felt her second orgasm start to wash over her and she sighed. This time it felt even more intense than the first, her toes curled and her hands gripped the sheets. She felt a wild deep sensation inside her. “Oh, god. ‘M cumming.”

It washed through her entire body, pure pleasure overcoming her. When she opened her eyes she saw these black spots, her hearing stopped for a second and she let out a loud mewling carnal whimper. Harry was mesmerised by the sight in front of him. If he could he would do this all day.

When her body went limp he slowly pulled his fingers out and she suddenly felt so empty. 

“You okay?” He asked softly.

She opened her eyes, naked chest heaving. “Your…tongue…fuck.”

He giggled. 

“Kiss me, please.”

He placed a peck on her lips, brushing some hair from her face. 

“Thank you.” She whispered, fingers brushing his jaw. 

“No, thank you, Y/n. Been dyin’ to do that for weeks.”

thanks for reading! follow to see a part three! xx if you enjoyed this feel free to check out my masterlist here! xx feel free to request me too!

[katiemccabelover]

Days off (Leah Williamson)

One thing Leah absolutely loved about days off was getting to spent time with you, her girlfriend of just over a year. She loved sleeping in with you, her head buried in your hair as she inhaled your shampoo. The way you fit perfectly in her arms and the feeling of your breath against her skin.

Some days you and Leah would get dressed and head out somewhere for the day either shopping still your feet hurt or simply just going out for a late lunch.

But days spent at home doing absolutely nothing we’re the England captain’s favourite. She loved staying in comfy clothes, lying on the sofa with you in between her legs as she scratched your scalp and did absolutely nothing. So that’s what the both of you did today.

10:30am

The sun had made its way between the blinds of your shared bedroom waking you up in the process. You squinted your eyes not used to the sudden brightness as you turned over to face the blonde next to you. Now not facing the sun you could open your eyes only to find blue ones looking back at you.

“Morning.” You whispered, leaning in hoping to get your first kiss of the day.

“Morning my love.” She replied granting the you a kiss. After more pecs on the lips and talks about your dreams Leah opens her mouth, “What should we do today?” She questioned.

“Well if we don’t need to go out and get anything, I think we should watch that new show on Netflix you’ve been talking about.” You suggested and with that Leah and you got up to go make some breakfast. You opted for some cut up fruit and poured yourself and Leah a glass of apple juice.

1:00pm

You had managed to watch 3 episodes of the series and Leah had paused the show to let you know she was getting hungry. You got up out of Leah’s legs to go make some lunch and Leah had gotten up to follow you. On her days off she would spend as much time with you as she could, that meant following you everywhere. Well, everywhere but the bathroom.

You rummaged the cupboards looking for what to make before deciding on Leah’s favourite: ham sandwiches. Her eyes lit up the moment you put the ham, bread and butter on the counter. Her obsession with plain ham sandwiches always made you chuckle but everyone has their favourites. You cut them into triangles and serve them up on a plate and brought them into the living room, Leah once again following right behind you.

6:00pm

It was now dinner time and despite not doing anything today you couldn’t be bothered to make dinner so you decided to order food. There was an amazing Indian takeaway close to your house so Leah phoned up and ordered knowing you didn’t like to phone people because of your anxiety. Each little thing she did for you made you realise just how lucky you were to find Leah. She was the best of the best, always putting others before herself.

A little while later the doorbell rang so Leah got up to go grab your food. She dished up the food and brought it back to the living room where she found you looking at her with heart eyes.

“What?” She chuckled when she caught you staring.

“Nothing, just admiring you and thinking of how lucky I am.” You replied. She set the food on the glass coffee table. As you ate your food you talked about anything you and Leah could think of.

And that’s how you spent the rest of the evening, talking and giggling like you were teenagers. Your conversations consisted of the England squad and the upcoming friendly against Australia. You were going to be watching with Leah’s family just like you did for the Finalissima.

Please send requests, I will greatly appreciate it.

[nonotnolan]

Summer Break Dullahans

I can’t say that I was expecting to respond to somebody’s cry for help at three in the afternoon.  The student dorms were already pretty empty, since only one of the three buildings would be open for summer classes, and most people were at home until the summer semester officially started.  So when I heard a faint cry of “Can anybody hear me?  I need help!” it was easy for me to believe that the guy had been yelling in vain for quite awhile.  I wasn’t sure what I expected-- a Freshman who managed to get pinned between the bed and the wall, maybe?  I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to see Ben’s detached head sitting on a couch pillow.

No wonder he was yelling for help, he was literally just a head!  I walked over and picked him up off the couch, grabbing him on either side of his ears.  I thought for sure this was just an optical illusion somehow, but... no, I was holding his entire head in my hands.  “Put me down, jackass,” he shouted, trying and failing to wiggle out of my grip.  “I don’t need help from you.”

I wasn’t expecting to feel the muscles in his jaw move as he spoke, and I’m a bit ashamed to admit I actually dropped him in surprise.  He landed on the couch, at least, but it couldn’t have felt good to land nose-first from that far up.  “I’m so sorry, Ben,” I said, as I rotated him back to an upright position.  “What happened to you, anyway?”

“You know damn well what happened-- your fucking roommate happened, that’s what,” he said, glaring at me.  “I was just watching some Netflix when Grant barges into my room with a goddamn sword.  Next thing I know I’m stuck on the couch, and he’s taking away my headless body!  He already told me about your plan to steal bodies away from other guys, don’t you fucking dare pretend to feel bad.”  Well, that was news to me, but Ben refused to believe a word I said.  Not knowing what else to do, I turned on the TV on for him, and leaved the door open so that the next person might be able to find him a bit easier.  

Pulling out my phone, I discovered that I’d missed a few text messages from Grant.  He said he was waiting for me downstairs in the parking garage with a surprise that I’d have to see to believe.  Which... yeah, if I hadn’t managed to stumble across Ben’s detached head, I don’t think that I ever would have expected to see a muscular Grant.  He was a great roommate and all, but the dude was maybe 120 pounds on a good day.  Given that I was easily twice his weight, the two of us definitely had a weird dynamic going.

Or, we used to, at any rate.  The new Grant was almost certainly a lot more muscular than he had ever been before in his entire life.  It was hard to imagine the guy who stayed up every night with me to grind rank in League of Legends being able to earn a physique like that.  And there was something about seeing his pale head resting on top of Ben’s tanned body that was just far too comical.

“What, is that the only reaction I’m going to get?” he asked, frowning slightly.  “Fuckin’ look at me, bro.  I’m like some sort of Alpha Male now.  You wish you could be a man like me!”  He started flexing his arms, causing veins to appear in places I didn’t even know they existed.  “It’s okay to be jealous, Eric.  You don’t gotta act so modest on my account.  I know you’re gay, it’s okay if you suddenly want a piece of this.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Sorry if you were expecting me to be completely losing it right now,” I said.  “I already ran into Ben upstairs, and he told me... well, what’s left of him told me about what you did.  Nice sword, by the way.”

“Well, fuck,” he said, letting his shoulders drop.  There was something about seeing him stand there, slouched over, that made him look so much more like the real Grant.  “Probably should have slapped his head onto my old body before leaving.  I guess on the plus side, I won’t have to work very hard to convince you that this sword is magic somehow.  And anyway, I still have another surprise up my sleeve.”  He snapped his fingers, and gestured toward a figure who had been standing off in the shadows.  Well, most of a figure, at any rate.  A headless body, absolutely stacked with muscles, stepped forward into the lights.

“Did you... is that for me?” I asked, trying to make sense of the surge of emotions I felt.  Desire.  Longing.  Lust.  Holy hell, I wanted that body to be mine.  The shoulders, the pecs, the abs... healthy, vibrant, everything that my current pale and flabby body could never be.  Not without more work than I would ever be willing to do.  A primal, animalistic Need.  And, if I had to be honest, a slight amount of guilt.  I’d already saw what Grant had done to Ben.  If I made this body mine, I would be stealing it from someone else.

I was utterly entranced.  I found myself tracing the ridges of its chest with my fingers, my head utterly swimming in hormones as my manhood rose to its paltry four inches underneath my cargo shorts.  “Grant, who did... where did you find him?”

“Nuh-uh,” Grant said, shaking his head at me.  “I know you, Eric.  You think too much.  If I tell you his name, you’re gonna feel bad and you’re gonna try to make it up to him.  Fuck that shit.  This is all or nothing.  You want this body, you don’t get to know whose it was.”

He knew me far too well.  I looked back and forth between Grant and the headless muscle hunk that he had procured for me.  Did I want it that badly?  Would I be able to live with myself afterward?  My head tried to argue ethics, but my heart already knew my answer.  

I dropped down onto my knees, giving Grant easier access to my neck.  He lifted the sword up high into the air, striking down with a massive swing.  I felt a sudden lurch as I fell several feet to the ground.  I tried to use my arms to prevent myself from hitting the ground, only I didn’t have arms anymore-- my old body was completely unresponsive.

“Hey, wanna know what your new body is gonna smell like?”  I tried to protest, but I was unable to stop Grant from lifting up my new body’s arm and shoving my head right into its armpit.  The coarse hair brushed up against my nose and lips as the sweaty musk filled my nostrils.  “Yeah, you like that, don’t you,” he said, laughing at me.  I wanted to be mad, but... he was absolutely right.

“Just shut up and attach my head,” I said, trying not to let him know how much it was turning me on.  If I didn’t have an armpit fetish before, I did now.  Grant lowered my head into place, and suddenly I had full control over my new, muscular body.

I practically sprinted back inside to find a bathroom with a good mirror.  Can you blame me?  You could still see the difference between my head’s pale skin and my body’s bronze tan, but I think maybe a lot of people would  just assume that I had used tanning spray.  Hell, for all I know, my prior body really had used a tanning spray.

A few months from now, the rest of my friends would return from summer break, and I would have to try and convince everyone that I had gained this body naturally.  No one would ever believe that I had lost 100 pounds at the same time that my roommate gained 100 pounds.  Although... if Grant was planning to keep the sword, maybe he would be willing to hook up my friends with a new body as well?

[madlittlecriminal]

Sweet Tooth ☾ Steven Grant × Female!Reader

Request: yes! from @bubblegumfanfics - Totally require a Steven Grant fix where the reader is a hella good baker and Steven loves her little treats. She tries confessing to him by making him chocolates and all of the things he loves but he isn’t getting a picture. One day the reader turns up at his place with chocolates and freshly baked snacks for a movie night and as they’re doing that Steven just goes like “You know I’m in love with you, right?”

Warnings: if you have a sugar craving or crave something as soon as you read it, i apologize. trust me, im craving sweets now & i don’t have much of a sweet tooth. also, if you don’t like Peacock, im sorry :,) I’ve been watching a lot of stuff on there recently & it’s free unless you don’t want ads so naturally, my broke self loves it & im tired of Netflix rn 💀

Another day, another batch of left overs from the treats you made for your bakery. Usually, you would save them for the next day, but since it was Friday, you decided you’d take them home to try new recipes you found in cookbooks and on YouTube. Fridays were also one of the days in the week where you get to see Steven Grant; your favorite customer and the man you had a crush on. He’s always been so nice to you and, although sometimes shy and awkward, made decent conversation with you. You probably wouldn’t admit it to his face, but you absolutely loved it when he rambled about Egypt and different historic items as well as their Gods and Goddesses.

Not only did you know of his love for all things Egyptian, you also knew of his love for sweets, especially when it comes to chocolate, so each time he came in, you’d always add some form of romance to his goodies, but he never noticed. Today was different though as you both had a tradition to go to his house to watch a movie every other Friday.

You finished cleaning your bakery before packing some brownies, some homemade chocolate bars, chocolate chip cookies, some macarons and a few slices of cakes of different flavors. You locked up the bakery before making your way to Steven’s apartment, debating whether or not you would tell him before or after the movie since you wanted to get it over with.

When you got to his, he invited you in and helped you put the goods in the fridge as well as stealing a brownie from the container you brought them in. “So, what are we watching? A comedy? A documentary? Sci-fi?” He let out a nervous chuckle. “A romance actually.” You raised an eyebrow at his words. “Steven Grant watching a romance? That’s something I never thought I would witness.”

“Well, I do hope you don’t mind.” You shook your head before grabbing a chocolate bar from the fridge and sat on his couch. “No, it’s fine. I’m just surprised is all.” He sat next to you before scrolling through the romance section on Peacock. The silence was a bit awkward as the only sounds sound you heard was the occasional crunch of the chocolate bar as well as the the sips of water Steven took.

Suddenly the scrolling stopped and you looked over at Steven who was looking at you. “Do I have chocolate on my face?” You grabbed a napkin before wiping your mouth and he chuckled. “No, it’s nothing of the sort. I just feel like I have to tell you something, but I have no idea how you’ll take it.” You nibble on your chocolate bar, waiting patiently for him to continue. “How long have we known each other (Y/N)?” You took a sip of your water before saying, “I think it’s been almost two years now…?”

“Well, I think I’ll take this risk,” you looked into his dark brown eyes, searching for any hint of what he was going to do or say, but he hid it well, it was scary. “You know I’m in love with you, right?” At his confession, you choked on your own saliva, causing him to panic and quickly give you your water. After you downed it, he began apologizing. “I didn’t know you would react this way. I’m so sorry!” You shook your head and rested your hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Steven. I didn’t know though because every time I’ve tried to tell you, you never noticed.” He became shocked at your words.

“Since when?!” You laughed before pointing out all the little things you did for him that had hints of you liking him. “Since you never noticed, I didn’t think you felt the same way.” He leaned over and kissed your cheek, causing them to warm up. “Now you know that I do and I’m sorry for being oblivious to your attempts, love.” You rested your head on his shoulder and smiled. “That’s okay, Steven. I love you too.”

~~~~~

requests are open! feel free to look through my masterlists in case you want to request someone that isn’t the moon boys! :)

[theflixdiaryproject]

"there's only one thing I love almost as much as I love you, and that's being a cop. and you know what? this thing does not love me" - Tom Nichols

a real estate agent, is found murdered in a house she was selling. the case lands on Detective Tom Nichols (Benicio del Toro), a sharp investigator with a troubled past. the evidence points toward several suspects, including the ex-husband, Sam Gifford (Karl Glusman), but nothing is as simple as it seems. as Tom digs deeper, layers of deception and corruption start to unravel.

read my review below (may contains spoilers):

watched June 24, 2024 on netflix

I came across Reptile expecting an intense creature feature. from the title, I imagined snakes or monstrous creatures as villains, but to my surprise, there were no reptiles. I kept wondering about the title. who or what is the "reptile" here? the only clue was that one scene with a piece of snake skin. this is not the kind of movie you should watch after a long day. I made that mistake. I was tired and started watching this moody, slow-burn thriller late at night. by the halfway point, my focus was gone. I was half-asleep, my mind wandering in a dream-like trance. the dark and brooding atmosphere didn’t help either; it made me feel like the movie was dragging on forever. at over two hours long, it felt like six. I have to admit, I didn’t fully grasp what was going on in the movie. the plot is layered with twists, red herrings, and subplots. you need to be fully alert to catch all the details. but at the same time, the slow pace makes it hard to stay engaged. so I paused and resumed it later in the next morning.

that’s not to say the movie is bad. it has its moments of brilliance, especially in the way it creates a dark, suspenseful atmosphere. the neo-noir style is captivating, and the storyline has potential. it’s just that the execution feels too drawn out, and the mystery gets buried under the weight of its own complexity. I like movies that make me think, but this one made me overthink to the point of frustration and exhaustion. if you’re expecting a fast-paced thriller, this isn’t it. but if you enjoy slow-burn mysteries with a lot of moody silence, this might be for you. I can see why some people would appreciate its style and depth. it just didn’t click with me. the lack of closure left me unsatisfied. I finished the movie wide awake, but I don’t even remember how it ends.

final verdict: I have mixed feelings about it

maturity rating: R-rated genre: thriller, neo-noir duration: 2h 16m (134 mins) country of origin: USA screenplay: Grant Singer, Benjamin Brewer, Benicio del Toro major cast: Benicio del Toro, Justin Timberlake, Alicia Silverstone, Eric Bogosian, Karl Glusman, Michael Pitt

[trainsinanime]

The ending: Movie versus Season 5

I still maintain that the best way to watch the movie and the end of season 5 is back to back, interrupted only by a short drive home from the cinema, so you can really compare them and get a full on knot in your brain.

Spoilers for both, I’ll reblog this on the 29th for the Netflix crowd, you know the drill.

Both endings have to deal with similar issues, but do them in very different ways. The problem is that while Miraculous Ladybug isn’t actually complicated, it has some complicated stuff in there that it doesn’t deal with on a day-to-day basis, and the end of the fight with Hawkmoth has to resolve them. The biggest point here is the relationship between Adrien and Gabriel.

Adrien loves his dad, and there is an argument to be made that Gabriel has some affection towards Adrien, maybe. Gabriel does everything for Adrien, at least ostensibly, but Adrien is dedicated to stopping him. Gabriel believes he’s a bad father and it isn’t worth even trying because he can resurrect Emilie and have her do the work of raising Adrien. Stopping Hawkmoth implies revealing the complicated nature of this relationship.

Do you redeem Gabriel? If so, does he die in the process? Does Adrien forgive him, or finally cut ties? Do you bring Emilie back or not? What about Nathalie? What about Sentimonsters? Oh, and isn’t this whole story actually supposed to be about Marinette?

The movie resolves this in the most simple, some might say most boring way imaginable. Gabriel sees that Adrien is Chat Noir, Adrien sees that Gabriel is Hawkmoth. Gabriel goes, „sorry“, Adrien goes, „I forgive you“. It’s as simple a resolution as can be.

It’s also deeply unsatisfying. Gabriel and Adrien had barely talked up to that point, and it did not seem like there was any actual affection there. Gabriel also drops his whole motivation almost immediately, and changes his entire outlook on life just because he’s seen Chat Noir. Granted, same. And yes, it does mean that he becomes the only one in the movie with a character arc. But it’s too short, too simple, and it feels hollow. Oh, and Marinette? She’s just there, ultimately not relevant to the main plot of her own movie at all.

The show, in contrast, has gone in a different direction. It has a much more complicated setup, with the whole sentimonster stuff and Kagami’s mom and what not - a lot of stuff to resolve, so it makes the bold decision to not even try.

Adrien finally makes a break with his father, in Representation, when he beats him up and tells him what a bad father he is, which is well deserved. It’s a bit drastic for a kid’s show, but it makes sense. Some fathers don’t deserve to be forgiven.

And then it just ignores Adrien and makes it all about Marinette. Huh.

The show certainly ends stuff, but it doesn’t actually resolve anything, to the point where there’s a fandom debate about what the wish actually did and didn’t change. It’s wild. It’s weird. Parts of it are absolutely glorious, especially the visuals, but I have no idea why they did it that way.

So we, as a fandom, have seen the end of the Hawkmoth arc twice, and we have the choice between two endings: A boring one, or a baffling one.

Personally, I am focusing on fun and fun visuals here, and in that regard, we did win twice, and ultimately that part is the most important for me. In story terms, I found both a bit unsatisfying, but at least the show has given us more to talk about. That’s why it’s my personal favourite here.

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter Thirty-One

Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?

Warnings: Language, Reader Goes AWOL. 

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’, Reader now has long-ish hair for plot reasons (Just so Morpheus can tug on it later). 

Word Count: ~2.4k

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When you had landed in the middle of the road in front of the car she was in, you had scared the ever-loving shit out of Rose. But the moment she caught sight of your face, she had known something was wrong. You didn’t recognize the older man she was with, your senses quickly picked up on the fact that he was one of the missing arcana. Fiddler’s Green you presumed. Currently, the pair were en route to a Cereal Convention where Jed could be found. You were inclined to help. 

“What happened?” Rose asked, turning in her seat to look at you from where you had been sitting in silence, still in slight shock at how events had gone. You lifted your eyes to Rose’s gentle brown ones. “No offense but you look two seconds away from a meltdown.”

You tried to crack a grin, but it surely came out as a grimace. 

“Morpheus didn’t take kindly to me yelling at him for leaving you and Jed.” You softly replied, your eyes going distant. “He’s been getting more and more erratic these days and I— he just left you there? Is he truly that selfish and asinine that he only cares for his domain?”

Rose gave you an apologetic look while Fiddler’s Green, or Gilbert as he had introduced himself, looked at you in the mirror. He was a part of the Dreaming. He could feel your ties to Morpheus, he knew what you were to the Dreaming. But he hadn’t said anything about it yet. You didn’t even think that Rose knew he was an arcana.

“For as pissed off and upset as you are, Y/N, you seem hurt the most,” Rose spoke softly. Your eyebrows ever so briefly met and your gaze turned foggy. 

“I should think you’re right. I am sure you know by now we have a complicated relationship, just when I think we are finally getting somewhere he turns on me. Morpheus… Morpheus was always so gentle with me before we met in person. Granted he didn’t like me doing certain things and made it his mission to steer me away from what he didn’t like… but he was always so gentle. I miss that, I miss him. Or at least who he used to be. I don’t think I ever really knew him.”

A period of silence went by and you turned to the window, watching as cars went by.

“Y/N?” Rose asked. “How did you meet him of all people?” 

“I was unlucky,” You stated, not bothering to turn your head in her direction. You had questioned why Morpheus had chosen you and now you were starting to seriously wish that he had chosen someone else. Pursing your lips together, you leaned your head against the window and focused on your breathing so you didn’t start crying again. You would think that after living for so long, Morpheus would know when he was being unreasonable. God, how long were you going to have to put up with him yanking your heart around like it was on a leash? Because you weren’t so sure you would be able to bare it much longer. The cracks were getting larger.

You wanted to sleep to pass the time, or perhaps out of habit, but you found that while you could make yourself sleep, you didn’t need to and you did not feel like going back to the Dreaming where you would potentially face Morpheus. No, you would not sleep until you had finished helping Rose. Morpheus would never find you that way. Mind made up, you leaned your head against the window and counted the number of cars that passed. You had reached over three hundred by the time Gilbert pulled into a rest area to fill the car up with gas. Exiting the car to stretch your legs, you leaned against the door while watching Rose head off to the bathroom. 

“I can feel your pain, my lady,” Gilbert spoke softly. You glanced at him and nearly shriveled at his kind facial expression. “Surely there is another way you can help without cutting yourself off from the Dreaming.” Your lips pressed together and you chewed your lower lip. 

“I can’t go back, not now,” You told him. “Not after Morpheus—“ You cut off, remembering the way anger burned in his eyes and the way his fingers felt gripping your chin. It was a side of him you had never seen before. Cold. Uncaring. Ruthless. “I may be stuck with him for the rest of eternity, but I refuse to give in to his every whim or demand. Not when it goes against my own constitution. I’m not a servant he can just order around and expect to keep their mouth shut, he keeps forgetting that. I’m not his subject, I’m his que—” No, you weren’t his queen. If he really thought you to be his queen, if you really were the queen of the Dreaming, he would never treat you that way. You bit down on your lip. “I’m not a subject who he can order around.”

“No, no you’re not.” Gilbert agreed. “But you are something in which Lord Morpheus has never dealt with. Forgive me if I repeating what others have told you, but he has never thought that he would ever have an equal to share his realm. He is not used to being defied, certainly not by the woman to who he is bound. He isn’t used to caring for someone he knows will always be by his side.” 

“Everyone keeps bringing up his past relationships but no one has actually told me about them.” You said slowly.

“Hmm, it is not our story to tell I’m afraid,” Gilbert told you. “I’m sorry that he has hurt you, Y/N, but he does not intentionally do so from a malignant place.”

Matthew had been out, stretching his wings, when he had caught sight of the dark patch of gardens that were usually painstakingly cared for by Mervyn and Y/N. Diving for the void of black in a garden of green, Matthew’s heart plummeted when his raven eyes took in the destruction and death of the once beautiful garden. The garden-tiled path was broken and cracked, ruining the swirling design that Y/N loved to walk, the statues still and crumbling, the fountain dry and dingy, not to mention broken in half. Worst of all, there was not one live plant in the garden, just a cemetery of what was. 

“Oh no, this is bad, this is really bad,” Matthew squawked, flapping his wings once more and shooting into the air. He knew that Morpheus and Y/N had gotten into an argument, but for Y/N to have gotten this upset? Something was majorly wrong. Matthew’s wings carried him into the sky and around the palace until he swooped into an open window in the queen’s wing. His head swirled around as he searched the large wing, trying to find the one woman who could be responsible for the garden's condition. She was nowhere to be seen. Not on the grounds of the palace either. There was only one place Y/N would have gone after arguing with Morpheus to that degree. The Waking World. 

Matthew immediately headed for the library. If anyone would know what to do, it would be Lucienne.

Lucienne was where he expected her to be found, putting books that had fallen from their shelves, back into place. She looked over her glasses at the frantic raven. 

“Lucienne! Caw! We’ve got a big problem!” Matthew called out, letting out a second caw. Lucienne’s eyebrow rose. 

“And pray tell what is the problem this time?” 

“Y/N left!” Matthew all but screeched out. 

“What do you mean by left, Matthew,” Lucienne asked for clarification. 

“As in, her garden looks like the plague rolled in, and I am almost one hundred percent sure that she is no longer in the Dreaming, left!” Matthew was a flurry of ruffled feathers, he didn’t know what to do and when Morpheus found out that Y/N had run? Matthew could only imagine how much worse his mood would become. 

“How would that be possible? She shouldn’t be able to master powers of teleportation this quickly, that takes—“

“You’ve never encountered a human woman like her!” Matthew erupted, cutting the librarian off. “Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’? Well, I am pretty sure Y/N is the epitome of that! Take it from someone who used to be human, she’s not going to let this one go.”

“And what do you suppose I should do about this, Matthew?” Lucienne sighed, reaching up and pulling her glasses from her face. “What our king and queen do or disagree upon is not our business. It is theirs. We are only here to advise them.”

“So what? We’re just supposed to let this spiral into chaos!?” Matthew protested, hopping across the table in front of Lucienne. “Lucienne, there has to be something we can do. Morpheus won’t listen to us and Y/N has gone AWOL because he won’t listen to her and she’s the freaking queen!”

“I’m afraid there isn’t anything we can do, Matthew. I’m sorry, but to meddle in the affairs of an Endless… we can only pray that they come to their senses or it shall be a long eternity.”

“If he so much as tries to go after that baby I will end him,” You stated as the three of you got out of Gilbert’s car. Rose looked at you hesitantly. 

“But isn’t he like your king?” She asked, her eyebrows bunching together. You gave Rose a chilling smile, the edge of your eye twitching. 

“He’s no king of mine if he threatens the life of an unborn child and I am by no means bound to follow Morpheus’ demands. It is my soul and fate that are bound, not my mind and will. Should he go after Lyta? A vortex shall be the least of his worries.” You told Rose, being one hundred percent truthful with your words. “I don’t care if he’s the bloody God of the universe. He’s not going to touch her or her unborn child, not on my watch.” 

“Okay you’ve officially scared me but at the same time, you’re kind of a badass,” Rose whispered meekly. You nodded and stepped forwards, placing a guiding hand on her back. 

“Come along, Miss Walker, it is time to find young Jed, yes?” The three of you started to walk towards the busy entrance to the hotel that swarmed with people you presumed were here to attend the Cereal Convention. While you scanned the crowd, an unsettling feeling grew in your stomach. Cereal. This wasn’t a Cereal convention… it was a Serial Convention. This place was swarming with killers. “Rose, you either stay with me or Gilbert,” You told her. “Don’t go anywhere by yourself.” 

“What? What’s wrong?” Rose asked as you stopped short of the automatic doors to the hotel lobby. You didn’t want to alarm her that Jed was wandering around with a bunch of serial killers. 

“Something isn’t right about this convention.” You stated vaguely, your eyes going foggy as you stretch your horizons. Naturally. The last missing arcana practically sang to you from within the hotel grounds. The Corinthian was here, and quite possibly with Jed. You looked down at Rose. “Whatever is going on here, it isn’t good and it’s dangerous. I know you’re an adult, but don’t go charging off without someone to back you up, okay?” 

Rose nodded at you. 

“Promise… do you think Jed is okay?” Worry was deeply etched into her face and you couldn’t bring yourself to lie or deviate from anything but the truth. 

“Honestly, I have no idea so we’d better hurry, love.” Rose nodded and the three of you entered the lobby. Looking around at the busy people walking all over, your eyes strained to find where the tug of magic you could feel coming from the Corinthian, came from. You couldn’t tell.

“So, do we, uh… wait here or, or…” Gilbert trailed off as he removed his hat and looked around. 

“Well it can’t hurt to look around,” Rose said, waving her arms. You nodded in agreement. 

“Certainly not,” You mused quietly. The three of you went to walk down a nearby hall but were stopped by a man at a desk wearing a black hat with horns. 

“Uh, excuse me, sir, ma’am?” The man wearing a name tag labeled Fun Land, called. “I’m sorry but this area is for convention attendees only.” 

“Ooh, the Cereal Convention,” Gilbert exclaimed. “Yes, I saw your signage outside.”

“I’m just looking for my brother. I’ll run in and out.” Rose told him, waving a hand towards the reserved hall.

“I can’t let you do that.” He stubbornly refused. You stepped forwards. 

“It’s a missing child, surely you can understand that,” You spoke calmly, trying to pressure him into a more agreeable state. 

“I’ll be a second,” Rose added. He still refused.

“There are no kids in the convention area.” The man said, holding up his hands. “I would know.”

“No children at a cereal convention?” Gilbert questioned with a soft chuckle. “That seems a bit of a missed opportunity or is it maybe of more of a porridge and muesli affair?” Gilbert reached for the program that sat on the table and the man was pulling it back defensibly.

“D-do you mind? I have to check these people in.” You held your tongue as the three of you stepped aside.

“Oh dear, I seem to have annoyed him with my questions,” Gilbert said as you walked away. You let out a small chuckle at the man and glanced at Rose. 

“Rose darling?” Rose looked up at you with a sheepish smile and pulled out three passes. 

“Imagine how annoyed he’d be if he found out we have these, Gilbert?” Rose said, wiggling the passes around.  

“Oh, I take it we’re attending the convention then?” Gilbert asked as you took one of the tags and clipped it to his jacket. 

“Quite so, Mr. Gilbert. I do not normally condone pickpocketing but in this situation, I shall let it slide.” You told him as Rose handed you a name tag that read: Devil Duchess. Your lips quirked at the name. 

“The only thing Jed loved more than chicken fingers is cereal.” Rose explained, attaching her tag named ‘The Babysitter’ before looking around. “Y/N and I will check the pool, you check the convention hall, and we’ll meet back here in fifteen?”

“How exciting! I’ve never been an uncle before.” You bit your lip to stop the giggle that wanted to come up. Fiddler’s Green, in all his age and wisdom, was precious and naive at times. 

“Do be careful, Gilbert.” You warned him, hoping this experience would scare him too much. “Keep your wits about you.”

“And you as well, Miss Y/N.” From there the three of you split up. 

Date Published: 11/28/22

Last Edit: 8/20/23

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[phantomram-b00]

I know I’ve been on a good omens brainrot. But I want to stop and talking about something, some movie as it been exactly this day (edit: yesterday, I meant to post this yesterday but it got hectic and I couldn’t finished until 12. So my bad, I tried. That and the wifi is shit, so forgive me) (at least released on Netflix). But it just not some movie, you might know it, you might not that’s okay because I would like to talk about…..*drum rolls*

Now for those who don’t know and without spoiling too much as I recommend this movie, it follows Kat Elliot a black teenage girl who’ve gone through a traumatic event of her parent’s death and have two demons, Wendell and Wild, who have their own agenda of opening a theme park for the souls. Can’t stress this enough that this movie is worth the watch. Please go watch before going to see this post as I will be discussing the movie, spoiler warning ahead 🤭 unless if you wanna get spoil then, that’s on you, who am I to tell you what to do am I right? With that being said let get into this

(Disclaimer: Now, I am planning a drawing for it so stay tone for that. But I couldn’t finish in time due to being on vacation but it will be done! ^v^ now onto the post.)

Honestly, this is my second stop motion picture movie since coraline, who funfact Henry Selick directed. He also directed Wendell and Wild and was produced by Jordan Peele who also stars as Wild himself with his friend Keegan-Michael Key who plays Wendell; honestly to see these two play the demon bring be back to Key and Peele show they did, always happy to see them together and be chaotic duos. But I do wanna give honor to Jordan Peele as imo, his movies have been phenomenal between Get out, Nope, Us, and now Wendell and Wild (granted produced but he did have control), I can’t wait to see what else he got in plan. I think what make me appreciate his directing/producing is how he can say and I quote in this news article,

“I feel fortunate to be in this position where I can say to Universal, ‘I want to make a 20$ million horror movie with a black family’ and they say yes” - Jordan Peele (2019)

And frankly, I’m happy representation is happening, (I’m not black, I’m only Puerto Rican, but to have poc representation make me happy! but also that, imma say this, representation do matter. You (and I’m talking to the non-poc/white) might not think it not a big deal, but trust me, it is matter and it is important. And it should. And I’m happy Jordan Peele for example here is able to diverse the cast, and like he said, “not that I don’t like white dudes but I’ve seen that movie.” I’ll dive deep soon so remember this.) and I hope they keep going with representation.

Henry Selick, he’s responsible for Coraline, Nightmare before Christmas and more! And to see another Henry Selick movie, I had a feeling with a help of Jordan Peele that I was going to love it. And I did! I’m excited to see whatever he come up with next, though if it another stop motion, which I love stop motion animation as much as a next person, however, do you know how long these shit takes? Like I gotta give them prop for the dedication! But I don’t know how you get patience for stop motion- but back to Henry, he responsible for my love for Coraline and nightmare before Christmas, and I gotta give him and Jordan Peele props and credit, and also to thank them for making this movie!

Now the casting, honestly the casting imo was fantastic, Lyric Ross was excellent as Kat Elliot, both when Kat is a no nonsense headstrong character to when she is actively grieving of the death of her parents as she grows from her trauma. Very much Phenomenal work and her chemistry with Wendell and Wild is what make it much cool as well as her chemistry with Raul (Sam Zelaya), Siobhan (Tamara Smart) and even Sister Helley (Angels Bassett herself!). I feel the casting was phenomenal and was well-casted I don’t think I had a moment where I think “oh this person could’ve been better” or “wow they bad”, nope I don’t think I have a complaint. Oh and Father level bests (James Hong) was just the right amount of a comedic antagonist next to Siobhan’s parent, his delivery was comedic and also a right amount of asshole. They all ate, and it was worth it for the cast!

The story! While I do think the pacing could’ve been better to flow better and also other qualms, but I won’t say that what toke me away, as I really like the story, I like how while yes the title and that it is about two demons, but I do like how we get to see Kat’s story and how she grows. As Jordan Peele mentions in again this article, the demon represent her personal demons with both her guilt and anger, and how she can overcome and wear your fears in a sense as well as dealing with her being a hell maiden. This was done well, and I like how it was done, sure was it a messy landing but it landed and it did well. Learning to overcome your demons is a challenge, hell I’m still trying to overcome them as I go and I’m twenty one, but as Kat shown, we can overcome our demons, and learn to carry on. And now as we saw at the end, she while she still grieve her parents, she learns that she not or never will be alone as she now surrounded by people who care and who won’t hurt her like the people in her past. Even accepting her two person demons, and being a hell maiden (which I will say, I think the demons can also represent how you handle them, like helley bottling up her demon can be a commentary on bottling up your problems rather than facing them. And seeing the amount that was there she had the bottle it up alot, which I can relate and I feel it was done well as well.) if they ever do a sequel, I would be here for it, i doubt their might because 1) stop motion takes such a long time. 2) the advertisement for this movie was done dirty. But if they did, I will be here for it and can’t wait to see what they do.

And finally the representation, honestly the presentation and the diversity of this movie was amazing. My eyes widen seeing just how diverse it, something I wish I had growing up as stated by Peele, I’ve already seen movies where predominantly of the cast was white, and (and this isn’t me saying “I hate white people” let me put this out there) I’m tired of seeing an all or almost all white or cast, I think it been done so many time and also it feel tiring and disheartening not to be represented in a way or even if there was it done stereotypical. So seeing representation was wonderful between black/Asian/Latine/Latinx/indigenous representation to there being Trans and disability representation. I hope more representation keep happening and there is, very much so! And as I said and I will say again, representation matters! And this movie’s rep was done very well! Im sure I’m missing some (forgive me it been a while and I don’t have access to Netflix as of now. Please forgive me, if I miss any please let me know!)

Before I close this blog, I gotta say, the advertisement for this movie was done very dirty! Like i don’t know what it is, but I felt we hardly saw any promotional work for this movie, it the same thing that happen with Disney’s Strange world. If there was, I probably missed a lot because I felt there wasn’t much ads for this movie, and because of it, I felt it didn’t get the recognition it deserved. So if you made it this far whether you seen this movie or you haven’t to please go watch Wendell and Wild, I promise you will have a good time and a wonderful experience watching this movie. I can’t wait to show the drawing. And I just needed to talk about this, as it one of my favorite stop motion films, I can’t wait to see where Wendell and wild go, and hope we get more of it. Even if we do get a sequel, I hope we see more of hell maidens and of Kat’s journey with her demons and her friends. hope you enjoyed. Phantom. Out.

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart - Chapter 4

Dolores

After his first night in the new apartment, Matthew had promised himself to never take a good night’s sleep for granted again. He had taken a long shower, settled into bed with the intention of watching something on Netflix but had fallen asleep in seconds.

Even a few days later, he made sure to take a few minutes to enjoy stretching out. It still felt like a luxury just to stand and walk and breathe in his own room. Praise be Sienna for suggesting they move in together.

She was cooking now, preparing a breakfast spread for everyone, as Landry sat at the dining table, pouring over a crossword.

“You didn’t have to do this, Sienna,” Matthew said as she handed him a plate. She waved him off, airily.

“Just try and stop me!”

Matthew thanked her and sat beside Landry, who had a half-eaten bacon sandwich in front of him. He frowned at his crossword.

“Stuck?” Matthew asked, digging into his food. Sienna had got the scrambled eggs just right.

“No! Just…delayed,” Landry claimed. “Guys, what a seven-letter word for colds that last a long time? The fourth letter is ‘A’.”

“Oh, don’t ask me I’ve never been very good at crosswords,” Sienna said. “They’re always trying to trick you…”

“Ice ages.”

Sienna and Landry looked at Matthew, then Landry tried it out.

“Perfect! Thanks.”

“How did you get that?” Sienna groaned as Elijah wheeled into the room, and she jumped up to put his breakfast together. He accepted with a smile and a thanks, wheeling to Landry’s other side.

“I can’t wait for Wayne to see this place, he’s really going to love it,” Sienna said, happily, sitting beside Matthew with a cup of coffee.

“Your boyfriend? Wasn’t he supposed to come over last night?” Elijah asked.

“He keeps having to cancel.” Sienna’s face fell. “His work really demands a lot of him.”

Elijah’s eyes narrowed but Matthew cut in before he could say anything.

“Well, we can’t wait to meet him. If he’s anything like you, I’m sure we’ll love him.”

Elijah raised his eyebrows but Sienna didn’t notice.

“I don’t think he’s that much like me,” she giggled. “But I hope you love him anyway.”

The four of them finished breakfast companionably as Jackie came out of her room, rubbing her forehead. Matthew recognised the mark immediately.

“Fall asleep on your books?”

“The last thing I remember is studying and then, before I know it, I can hear you lot out here having breakfast.” She shrugged and smirked. “Still, I slept well.” She poured herself a cup of coffee, then went to freshen up and get changed.

“We should throw a house-warming party soon now that I’ve hooked up the TV and audio,” Elijah suggested.

“That sounds fun! And I can introduce Wayne to everybody!” Sienna said, eagerly.

“I would like to be more social outside of work,” Matthew mused.

“Residents and attendings, yes,” Jackie called over. “But no surgeons. This apartment doesn’t need to be christened with a keg stand.”

“Let’s invite Bryce!”

“Way ahead of you, I’m texting him right now.” Sienna laughed at Jackie’s look of horror.

“But…the place is so clean,” Landry protested as they shuffled out the door, but this was going to be Elijah’s first party outside of home and his protests fell on deaf ears.

“So I’ve heard rumours,” Jackie began as they walked briskly down the street. “Apparently Dr Banerji just up and quit sometime yesterday.”

“Wait, really?” Landry asked. “No announcement, no going-away party…nothing?”

“What about the diagnostics team?” Matthew asked.

“Dr Ramsey must be in charge of it now! Awesome!”

As Landry started talking eagerly about diagnostics work, Matthew’s mind wandered back to the argument between Ramsey and Banerji. He couldn’t help wondering if the two were connected.

His suspicions grew later in the day, when he heard Dr Ramsey and Chief Emery arguing in a patient’s room. Ramsey said something like “…preposterous! They’re not ready!” and Matthew was near enough to see Chief Emery put her hand on Ramsey’s cheek. Matthew was tempted to eavesdrop, but decided it might be better for his health if he got out of there quickly.

Halfway through the afternoon, Matthew was between patients and wondering what to start next when a familiar voice called out to him. He turned to see Kyra, who was on a gurney being steered by Bryce.

“Hey, Kyra! I haven’t seen you since the surgical interns stole you away.”

“You say ‘stole’, I say ‘rightly took a surgical case’,” Bryce retorted, smugly.

“Hang on, two hot doctors fighting over me?” Kyra pretended to swoon. “Did the cancer get me already, because this feels like a ‘died and gone to heaven’ thing.”

Matthew winced, the smile freezing on his face.

“You have a very morbid sense of humour, Kyra. Is the surgery soon?”

“Right now!” Bryce declared, proudly. “A lobectomy assisted by yours truly.”

He gestured grandly to himself, like an actor taking their bow, but anxiety was tightening Matthew’s stomach.

“You’re having a lobe of your lung removed t-today?” He wished he had had a heads-up for this.

“Yeah.” Kyra tried to play it casual, but she was shifting nervously on her gurney. “It happened kind of fast after the CT results came back. But, hey! If the last thing I see before I die is your face…well, there are worse ways to go.”

Matthew wished he could just accept what might happen and calmly wish Kyra well. He had already tried.

“You’re strong Kyra,” he said, covering her hand with his. “I know you can survive this.” He was relieved that his voice came out steady. Kyra gave him a contrite smile.

“Well…I guess it would be harder to die knowing I’ve got a friend cheering me on.”

“Kyra, what did we say about all the death talk?” Bryce said, pointedly.

“Sorry boss,” Kyra teased. “I’ll start planning for retirement.”

“Good.” Bryce winked at Matthew, but before he could push the gurney past, Matthew caught hold of his arm.

“Bryce, just…please don’t screw this up.”

“Do I look like I’ve ever screwed anything up?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

Matthew couldn’t joke about this. Everyone screwed up at least once.

“Hey, listen.” Bryce dropped the hundred-watt-smile and lay a hand on Matthew’s shoulder. “I’m only assisting, but Dr Zimmerman is an amazing surgeon. Kyra will be golden. We’ll have her back safe and sound.”

Sincerity rang with every word. Matthew already felt a little calmer.

“Thanks Bryce.”

Bryce winked again, and Kyra waved as she was wheeled away. Matthew watched them go, suddenly feeling the realities of the job weighing on him a little more heavily than before.

“Valentine!”

Matthew jumped. Zaid was bearing down on him.

“What are you doing standing around for?” Get down to the ER and see if they need any patients admitted!”

“Yes Dr Mirani!”

Matthew bolted to the ER, pulling himself together.

The ER was surprisingly quiet. The few patients in there were already being tended to. Matthew spotted Aurora, brushing off an attending who was offering for her to assist on a case of chromhidrosis. Apparently the patient had blue sweat. Matthew recognised the auburn-haired intern who had wanted to know about working with Aurora back on their first day. She was still trying to butter her up, this time with a cappuccino. Aurora told her she only drank tea.

“Hi Aurora,” Matthew said, when Aurora walked past him. She stopped and narrowed her eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Just saying hi. Is that legal?”

“It shouldn’t be.”

Matthew suppressed an eyeroll. It was probably exhausting to be the niece of the Chief of Medicine. He cracked his back as he looked around the empty ER.

“Quiet down here. That’s good.”

Aurora seemed to disagree.

“What are you talking about? There are no good cases.”

“If no one’s here, fewer people are seriously sick. That’s a win in my book,” Matthew said, a little sharper than intended. Then he gave her a measuring look. “If you’re so desperate for a cool case, why didn’t you go with that attending?”

Aurora hesitated for a split second, but then her face hardened.

“Super not interested in explaining myself to you.”

But before Matthew could press the issue further, they heard the wail of approaching sirens and rushed out to the ambulance bay. Danny and his fellow nurse Sarah had got there just before them, ready with a gurney. A paramedic hopped out the drivers side and helped them unload an unconscious, pregnant woman who wore an oxygen mask. Matthew’s stomach fluttered; he hoped the woman was ok.

“Dolores Hudson, office fire,” The paramedic reported in a deep voice. “Her co-workers evacuated in time but couldn’t move fast enough because of her pregnancy.” He met Matthew’s eye and gave him a quick smile in acknowledgement.

“How long has she been unconscious?” Matthew asked at the same time as Aurora asked about her vitals. The paramedic chuckled lightly as he easily fielded their questions: Dolores had fainted in the ambulance, she had elevated blood pressure, but she and the baby still had strong heartbeats.

“Pretty serious smoke inhalation though,” the paramedic added. Matthew frowned; something didn’t sound right. “Hopefully I got them out in time to avoid any permanent damage.”

“Wait, you got them out?” Matthew gasped. “Where were the firefighters?”

“We beat the fire department to the scene. I heard screaming so I broke in and carried her out.” The paramedic spoke as if it were a completely normal occurrence. Matthew didn’t know what to say, but then Danny stepped forward.

“We’ll get her admitted to a bed. Dr Valentine, Dr Emery, which one of you is taking this?”

Matthew glanced at Aurora, who nodded at him almost lazily.

“It’s all yours.”

“I’ll take it then. Go ahead, I’ll be right up.”

Danny nodded, he and Sarah pushing the gurney through the doors after Aurora, who had returned to the ER. Matthew turned back to the paramedic.

“Sorry, I just…you ran into a raging inferno to save a pregnant woman?”

“Well, yeah,” the paramedic shrugged, like it was no big deal. “Wouldn’t you?”

Matthew could get a proper look at him now. He was tall, taller than Matthew, with a muscular build. He had curly brown hair, very dark brown eyes and skin, and full lips. The smell of smoke was strong on his navy paramedic uniform.

“I’d like to think I’d be that brave,” Matthew said thoughtfully. “But I guess you never know until you’re in the moment.”

The paramedic smiled, a warm kindness in his eyes.

“It’s just instinct. You’re a doctor, I’m sure you wouldn’t hesitate. By the way, are you new? I haven’t seen you around.”

“My first week,” Matthew nodded. “I’m Dr Valentine.” He still got a little rush of excitement when he used his ‘doctor’ title. The paramedic could tell, and chuckled.

“Rafael Aveiro.” He held out a hand and Matthew shook it, slightly taken aback by how warm and strong his grip was. “I guess I’ll be seeing you round then, Dr Valentine?”

“Pretty often, I hope.”

“Hope so too,” Rafael smiled as another report came through his radio: a two-car crash. “Well, that’s my cue…”

Rafael jumped back into the ambulance as Matthew headed back inside, turning back to see it driving away. The smell of smoke still seemed to hang in the air and he suddenly wished he hadn’t told a paramedic that he hoped he’d be seeing him often. He brought in the emergency patients for god’s sake…

Still, there was no time to dwell on that now as he hurried to Dolores’s room. He slowed when he spotted Dr Ramsey laughing with Mrs Martinez about – of all things – how he used to cause trouble as a child. She was still giggling as she shuffled away. Meanwhile, Dr Ramsey’s smile disappeared as soon as he caught sight of Matthew.

“Why are you gawking like a fish that jumped out of it’s bowl?”

“Nothing…just that it looked like you were having fun.”

“I care about the wellbeing of those entrusted to my care, Rookie. That’s all.”

“Right…speaking of, I gotta go. Dolores Hudson isn’t going to examine herself,” Matthew thought aloud as he continued down the hall. Ramsey suddenly stopped him.

“Dolores Hudson? I’m coming with you.”

Matthew was quickly learning not to ask too many questions when it came to Ramsey, and just led him to where Danny had paged him as he explained her condition. When they got to her room, he was relieved to see her sitting up – oxygen mask replaced with a nasal cannister – but before he could say anything, she gave an excited squeal.

“Ethan!”

“Dolores!” Ethan growled. “What trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“Well it’s not my fault! An office fire trapped me upstairs and the elevator was broken.”

“I’ll call your sisters, maybe they can fly in from Minneapolis.” Ethan sighed and looked at Dolores with relief. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

“I’m glad you have Superman on payroll,” Dolores laughed. Matthew was starting to feel like surplus.

“Uh…I don’t mean to interrupt but I’d like to listen to Dolores’s chest.”

“Right, of course.” Ethan stepped aside to allow Matthew to start the examination. “Dolores, this is Dr Valentine. Dolores was my very first patient when I was an intern.”

“Oh, wow!” Matthew shared a conspiratorial look with Dolores. “Was he always so mean?”

Dolores burst out laughing. Ramsey raised a single eyebrow.

“I don’t think he was quite so grouchy, but he always had an edge.”

“Trust me, Dr Valentine, you’ll know if you ever see me ‘mean’.”

Matthew listened to Dolores’s breathing – which was short – as she chatted to him about the appendicitis that had brought her to Edenbrook, and how Ethan checking in with her afterwards had laid the foundations for a strong friendship. It was touching. Matthew made a mental note to check in with Annie and a couple of other patients.

“Her breathing is short, as you’d expect. I think we should order a chest x-ray,” Matthew reported to Ethan, who was frowning at the chart. He lowered his voice. “It’s the BP, right? Shouldn’t it be low after smoke inhalation?”

“It should,” Ethan nodded. “Take a urine sample too.”

Meanwhile, Dolores was rifling through her purse. Her face fell.

“It’s not here!” She groaned. “I saw this adorable stuffed frog on my lunch break and had to buy it for my little tadpole. I must have dropped it outside the office.” She rubbed her belly fondly. “Both my parents are gone, and the father’s not in the picture…but I’m going to make sure everything’s perfect for him.”

Matthew admired her determination, and that was how, whilst waiting for Dolores’s test results, he found himself hanging precariously into a storm drain near her office building, reaching for a cuddly frog and not thinking about how It was his favourite Stephen King novel. He gritted his teeth and stretched a little further, finally grasping the frog. They were saved from a watery grave and potential clown monsters.

“It lives!” he announced to Ethan, as he re-emerged. Ethan had surprisingly agreed to drive him to the office and help him look for the frog to make Dolores happy, but he now looked like he might be regretting his decision.

Upon their return to the hospital, Ethan gave Dolores the good news while Matthew cleaned up and sent the frog to be sanitised. Marlene later caught up with him with the urinalysis results and Matthew’s face fell. He had to find Ethan immediately.

It didn’t take him long: he was sitting with Dolores, watching TV together, laughing and chatting. Matthew would have preferred interrupting Ethan in his stern Dr Ramsey mode, but he knocked lightly on the door and poked his head round.

“A word please, Dr Ramsey?”

Dr Ramsey nodded, patting Dolores’s shoulder as he went out to join Matthew in the corridor. He could tell.

“What’s wrong?”

“Serious pre-eclampsia.” Matthew handed Ethan the results and watched his face fall. “Her baby’s in trouble, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Let’s go and tell her.”

Matthew hesitated.

“This is the job, Rookie,” Ethan said, not unkindly. “Come on.”

Matthew entered the room, results in hand, doing his best to appear calm and professional. Dolores smile faded instantly at their faces.

“What is it?”

Matthew readied himself.

“Dolores, you have pre-eclampsia.”

“Meaning?” Dolores’s voice trembled. She knew what it meant; she just couldn’t believe it was happening.

“It’s a relatively common condition, but in this case it’s threatening you and your baby.”

“My baby’s in danger?!”

“The blood flow to the placenta is slowing,” Dr Ramsey explained. “It could soon deprive your baby of nutrients and oxygen.”

Dolores was shaking her head, panic rising in her eyes.

“Dolores, it’s alright. It just means we’ll have to deliver the baby early.”

“No! It’s too soon!”

“Babies delivered at twenty-six weeks have a good chance of survival,” Matthew started to say. “He’ll have to stay in the NICU and there’s a risk of post-birth complications, but—”

“Some don’t make it at all!” Dolores cradled her bump protectively. “Is my baby in danger right now?”

“Not immediately, no.” Dr Ramsey knew he was losing the argument.

“Then my little tadpole is staying put.” Dolores spoke with finality, a mother doing right by her child. She looked up at Ethan and Matthew with tears in her eyes. “Please…another week. Just give me as long as you can. Please.”

Matthew and Ethan left the room, defeated. Matthew wanted to keep talking to Dolores, but Ethan refused. Then he took Matthew off the case. As he tried to leave, Matthew caught sight of Dolores lying in bed, stroking her bump as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Matthew felt like his heart was being crushed as he headed down the stairs. A familiar voice called out to him.

“Hey, Matthew!” Bryce looked worried when he saw Matthew’s expression. “Tough day?”

Matthew nodded.

“I could really use some good news right now.”

“Let’s go give you some.” Bryce looked quietly determined and he led Matthew down the winding corridors until they reached a window looking into the surgical recovery room. Bryce pointed out the bed right in the middle: Kyra was sleeping peacefully after her surgery, an IV in her hand, her chest rising and falling with her breathing. Despite himself, Matthew smiled.

“Everything went well with the lobectomy?”

“Flawlessly. And she let me place the clamps, which I’m pretty sure made all the difference.” Bryce chuckled. “I’d say I’m pretty good at taking people’s breath away.”

Bryce had barely finished his sentence before Matthew hugged him tightly.

“Whoa, hey! Sure, I deserve this, but…”

“Ssh.”

Matthew continued to hug Bryce, who squeezed him in return.

*

Matthew was walking to the on-call room to try to sleep when he saw Rafael again. He had just rounded the corner, and gave Matthew a shy smile.

“Hi Dr Valentine. How’s it going?”

“I…”  Matthew wished he could just relax and chat with the paramedic, but there was too much on his mind. He tried to think of the best way to describe Dolores’s case without breaking confidentiality.

“Are you alright?” Rafael prompted gently. Matthew swallowed.

“It’s getting tough with a patient…decisions to be made.”

“I see.” Rafael’s face fell. “Is…is there anything I can do?”

The offer was surprising but sweet. Unfortunately there wasn’t anything he could do.

“No, Dr Ramsey’s taking care of it. I was just on my way to take a nap.”

“OK.” Rafael hesitated. “Although…I’m only a paramedic, but I’ve been here for three years, so if you need any advice…?”

“I’ll take any wisdom you have to offer.”

Another kind smile.

“You do kind of learn how to deal with the tough cases. But the important thing is, no matter how much you might want to try again immediately, it can be just as important to take a step back to accept the loss. The last thing you want is for yesterday’s loss to affect you tomorrow, you know?”

“Makes sense. I think.”

“Take care, Doctor.”

“You don’t need to call me Dr Valentine every time we talk.”

“Actually, uh, you never gave me your first name.”

“Right!” Matthew blushed as he remembered. “Sorry, got caught up with the new title. My name’s Matthew.”

Rafael chuckled. “Nice to meet you properly, Matthew. And don’t apologise for the title; you earned it.”

*

Matthew struggled through a few hours of uneasy sleep that left him feeling groggy bleary-eyed. He got a nasty jolt when he checked his pager and found he had slept through a page for Dolores – she had been taken into emergency surgery.

Matthew sprinted to the OR but stopped short when he saw Ethan in the waiting room. His eyes were miles away.

“Dr Ramsey, what happened? Where’s Dolores?”

His voice sounded loud in the too-quiet waiting room. There was a long pause before Dr Ramsey spoke.

“Dolores had a seizure. Full eclampsia. We had no choice but to deliver the baby and it’s fifty-fifty whether he’ll survive the night.”

“And…Dolores?”

“…She died.”

Matthew shook as his eyes grew wet. It was hard to take a deep breath.

“Dr Ramsey,” he whispered. “I’m so…”

“I’m fine.”

Dr Ramsey’s face was smooth as he stood up and walked away without looking back.

The NICU was quiet, save for the humming and bleeping of machines. The lights were low and a few attendings and nurses carefully walked round the incubators. Two tired-looking parents were in the far corner. Matthew kept his head down as he looked around the neonates and spotted who he was looking for. A freshly-cleaned stuffed frog sat next to the tiny hand whose wrist bore the name tag ‘Ethan Hudson’.

“Can I help you?” An attending asked Matthew quietly. Matthew turned to her.

“This baby’s mother was patient. She got to name him?”

“She told me just as she was rushed to the OR,” the attending said, nodding sadly. “The poor thing. We’ll know more in the morning.”

Matthew bit his lip as he glanced back at the door…he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“Do you mind if I sit with him tonight?”

The attending seemed mildly surprised, but nodded. “Feel free.”

Matthew was left by the incubator, stroking the baby’s hand with gloved fingers. He didn’t notice who approached him until Dr Ramsey spoke.

“What are you still doing here?” He didn’t sound angry.

“I want to stay with him tonight. I hate the idea of him fighting for his life alone,” Matthew explained. “I know there’s doctors here  but…”

His voice trailed off, but Ethan got it.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“Feel free.”

The two of them settled on a nearby couch, watching the incubator. The cold beeping of the machinery pricked Matthew’s heart. It always seemed to mean death. He turned his face away to stop Ethan from seeing his tears. Ethan saw.

“The first patient I lost was in my fourth week,” Ethan said quietly. “I didn’t make any mistakes. He had stage 4 metastatic melanoma. He just…fought like hell and lost. But I liked him, he wasn’t much older than I am now. We both knew he didn’t have long but…it hit me hard.”

Matthew remembered what Rafael had said about learning how to deal with tough cases and wondered how long it would take.

“Just know…” Ethan continued. “This wasn’t your fault. Or mine, or Dolores’s. We all made the best decisions we could with the information we had.”

“But I need to be better than this!” Matthew said, suddenly. The high blood pressure had stood out to him as soon as Rafael mentioned it and he hadn’t flagged it up immediately. He didn’t even know why he had waited for Dr Ramsey to notice before bringing it up, but it could have changed things. “I failed her. I should have seen this coming.”

“It’s important to push yourself, Rookie, but you will take a lot of losses,” Ethan said, matter-of-factly. “We all do. What matters is coming back stronger.”

Matthew looked at him.

“Why are you being so nice to me? You’re usually so…”

“Demanding?” Ethan supplied. He sighed and sat back, staring into space. “I’m not a doctor with unlimited patients, though they do exist. My patients are my priority. All my energy gets directed to them.”

“But you’re a teacher too.”

“One of many,” Ethan countered. “You shouldn’t model yourself after any one of us. Idolatry among physicians is absurd. We teach you practical medicine, but you need to find your own way of being a doctor.”

Getting to know Dr Ramsey this week had been tough. The man had put Matthew through his paces, made him question everything he thought he knew about himself, chewed him inside out and, on several occasions, Matthew couldn’t remember what had drawn him to Ramsey’s research so much in the first place. Matthew never wanted to be the attending who made the intern’s life a living hell. And ironically it was Ramsey now telling him not to be that attending.

“How do I do that?” Matthew asked as he wandered towards the incubator. Ethan joined him.

“You already are.”

Matthew looked up to find him smiling. A genuine smile that Matthew had never seen on his face before. He turned back to the incubator, finally feeling like he was doing something right.

The baby moved his hand and automatically gripped the frog.

“She named him after you,” Matthew said suddenly.

Ethan blinked and peered at the name tag; his eyes widened when he saw it and he swallowed hard. He put on a pair of gloves and reached in to touch the baby’s hand. His eyes tinged red. Matthew sat back down, giving Ethan a moment.

After a few minutes, Ethan stepped back and cleared his throat.

“I’m going to get a coffee, do you want one?”

“Yes please. Do you want me to—”

“No, I’ll go. You wait here.”

Matthew watched the baby breathing as he waited for Ethan left. “Come on little tadpole, you can do it,” he murmured. “In and out.”

Ethan returned with two cups of coffee which, in a pleasant surprise, turned out to be from his private coffee machine that no one else knew about. Matthew had to promise he wouldn’t tell a soul.

The two of them kept vigil throughout the night, until Matthew’s eyes started to close and before he knew it, Ethan was shaking him awake. The baby was still breathing, making quiet sounds and shuffling a little.

“He made it!” Matthew said happily.

“And he’s getting stronger.” Ethan’s eyes were heavy and stubble shadowed his jaw, but he looked extremely relieved. “Matthew, you should prepare for your rounds.”

“Oh crap…” Rounds were in twenty minutes and he really needed to shower.

“Go ahead. I’ll stay with him a bit longer.” Ethan looked over at Matthew. “Rookie…thank you.”

It was later in the day when they were all paged. Matthew had only just caught his friends up with the night’s events; Chief Emery had an announcement for the interns.

Harper and Ethan stood together in the atrium. Ethan looked much the same as he did when Matthew left the NICU. Harper did not have one hair out of place as she beamed at the interns.

“As you’ve all undoubtedly heard by now, Dr Banerji has retired, which means the diagnostics team has an open position. Instead of filling that role, we will be selecting one young doctor to train with the team as a junior fellow. Interns…one of you will be the newest member of the diagnostics team working under Dr Ramsey.”

Matthew’s jaw dropped as excited whispers broke out around him.

“Ohmygod!” Landry was practically hyperventilating. “I’ve had literal dreams about this!”

“This is an incredible opportunity for one of you to spend your residency facing the most difficult cases imaginable,” Ramsey warned, back in stern, doctor mode. “Keyword, one. We will be ranking you daily and the best performing intern at the end of the year will be selected. I’d advise you to sit this one out, but if you choose to ignore that advice…good luck. If you want to compete, tell me by tomorrow night, midnight.”

As the noisy excitement broke out, Ethan strode away.

[sarah-aliterarylife]

5 Quick Reads

For our most recent public holiday in the UK, I wrote about my favourite doorstep novels (big books to get stuck into and take your time over).

Today, we’re going in a different direction, and I’ll be talking about some of my favourite quick reads.

We all live busy lives, and much as I love a big book, occasionally I crave the opposite: a short book I can read in a single weekend (or over 24 hours, if I’m on leave from work).

Here are five of my favourites:

Animal Farm by George Orwell (144 pages)

Ignore anyone who laughs at you when you tell them you’re reading this (which happened to me one day at work – it is possible the man in question thought I was talking about something else!).

Subtitled “A Fairy Story” this is actually anything but. A novella about the downtrodden animals of Manor Farm, who overthrow their human master Mr Jones and take over the running of the farm themselves, it’s a satire about totalitarian regimes (specifically Communism) and what happens when idealism is replaced by corruption and greed.

Granted, communism isn’t the most cheerful subject to acquaint yourself with on a sunny weekend, but Animal Farm is entertaining, powerful and terrifying in equal measure.

Shopgirl by Steve Martin (220 pages)

Yes, that Steve Martin. He writes books too!

I read this last year as part of a reading list. The prompt was “an author with the same initials as you”. I’m not the biggest Steve Martin fan, but I enjoyed the film version with Claire Danes and the author himself as her love interest, and so, over 3 long nights during the 2022 World Cup, I gave it a shot.

Shopgirl is a fun read, telling the story of Mirabelle, a lonely, adrift shop assistant who works in an LA department store. Mirabelle is pursued by two suitors: the older, emotionally unavailable millionaire Ray, and penniless, equally adrift Jeremy. It’s dark, funny and just a bit cool. I loved it.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (180 pages)

You didn’t expect me to write a list of quick reads without including The Great Gatsby, did you?

The quintessential novel of the Jazz Age, The Great Gatsby is one of the few novels that both myself and my sister thoroughly enjoyed. The tale of the fabulously wealthy Jay Gatsby and his doomed romance with the socialite Daisy Buchanan, told by Gatsby’s acquaintance Nick Carraway, there is a reason this one regularly makes an appearance on lists of the greatest novels ever written.

It’s very readable, it’s concise, and it doesn’t meander. The characters are flawed but likeable, and most importantly they are relatable.

If you’ve never had the pleasure of making Jay Gatsby’s acquaintance, sit down this week and do so immediately. You won’t want to leave.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (104 pages)

One for a dark, cold, rainy night. I was gifted this book as a student, as part of a bound boxset of mystery and horror novels. It was part of a larger collection of short stories by Robert Louis Stevenson. Many people know what a “Jekyll and Hyde character” is, think they know the plot and hence avoid the book. Don’t be that person.

It reads like a mystery thriller, so if you’re not into horror novels (like me), there is still much here for you to enjoy.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is very much the perfect short story, an absolutely riveting thriller. The plot races along at a breakneck pace (Stevenson himself wrote the original draft in less than three days), and if you’re anything like me, you’ll wish by the end that you didn’t already know what was coming!

Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys (192 pages)

One night, in the days before Netflix and Disney Plus, I was bored. I was in search of something to watch on TV and began channel hopping, when I came across a film called Wide Sargasso Sea. I had missed the first few minutes, but something about it grabbed me instantly. I was riveted and didn’t move from my seat until the film was finished. I’ve never seen it shown on any television channel or streaming service from that day to this. Having searched fruitlessly for months to find a copy of the film (these were the dark days when such things were not instantly available), I decided instead to read the novel on which it was based.

A prequel to Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea is the story of Antoinette Cosway, a white heiress living in Jamaica, who meets and marries the young Mr Rochester. It is essentially the story of how their marriage disintegrates and she becomes the Madwoman in the Attic of Charlotte Bronte’s novel.

I later donated Wide Sargasso Sea to a book swap shop in Tenerife, in the hope that someone else would discover it and love it as much as I did. And perhaps one day the BBC will decide to show the film again!

What are your favourite quick reads?

[estrogenandspite]

As someone who is self employed and can set her own schedule completely - I feel much better if I do some amount of work every day. I set weekends off from writing so I mentally recharge, but on those days I clean and meal prep and do maintenance.

In fact, sitting around doing nothing but watching Netflix or playing games is my first warning sign I’ve hit a depressive episode or burnout, because when I’m not depressed and exhausted, *I want to do things.*

UB would not change my daily routine in the slightest. The difference is I wouldn’t worry as much about “is this book marketable” or whatever, and just write things I’m passionate about *and thus make better art.* and I know there are others who would do this, or work on painting, or music, and think about how may great songs and paintings and novels the world has never gotten because the artist was forced to write for capital.

And scientists? You think they’re gonna stop? No it just means they don’t have to worry about time between grants and don’t have to teach on top of their normal job or don’t have to worry about profiting off their discoveries but can instead just learn and share knowledge! How many innovations and discoveries would we have that were locked behind profit?

People like to work with their hands! You just don’t need to work 12 hour days breaking your back now! Companies would have to make the workplace comfortable because if it’s not you can just leave, or if you’re sick you can just stay home!

People like to work with people! Do you know how many more people would work customer service if they knew they didn’t *have* to take abuse from assholes?

I could go on but the fact is people will always work! UBI means we just get to control the work we do!

My least favorite things about anti- UBI discourse is always the techbros whining that "nobody is going to work anymore! People will just watch Netflix all day!" and I have 2 responses:

1) Who the fuck cares. Who the fuck cares what people do with their time! That's kind of the fucking point!

2) People aren't going to stop laboring. Housework (look, it's right there in the word!) will still need to be done. So will maintenance on our homes and personal spaces. Children will still need carers, as will the elderly and disabled. There are millions of examples of ~work~ that we do all the time, uncompensated, that won't suddenly stop because we aren't forced to sell our labor to provide corporation's profits.

I'm not surprised that what is traditionally women's work is invisible to these dipshits, but it never fails to anger me.

Anyway. Join the IWW.

[itsheartbreakerbitch]

Our return to this social media is tragic.

It was created by two best friends that bonded over One Direction. We used to stay up all night on each other houses, paint crazy things, share or create fanfics, listening to music, talking about our lives, sharing secrets, hacking into a really double faced friend facebook page (we then, found out), drinking tequila on the balcony and pretending to be drunk, crying together and sharing our deepest fears.

Side - A

I thought we ruled the world, she was my world and my safe place. Her house was the start of so many amazing stories. Our little town didn’t seem that bad if we were together. She accepted me and I accepted her. We trusted each other completely. She gave me another perspective on life.

I miss dearly our nights eating ice cream w forks when we couldn’t find spoons and sitting on the floor listening to music while we used to gossip about school. I don’t even remember using Netflix back then but we used to find movies online and project them on the tv using an HDMI cable. Our trips to blockbuster were the coolest, rumbling through long halls filled with movies to watch. Going to the store w the change we would save or find in our bags and pockets, buying iced tea and popcorn. We had it all and i think i knew.

We are not the same as we were back then, we split around the same time as them as one of us moved to another state. Making best friend blood pacts and creating a set of rules didn’t save us from our destiny which was drifting away from each other. I tried and I guess, she tried too. My life became so different and opened up to a world of possibilities. I was not afraid anymore. This place was not haunted by my past mistakes or experiences. I met new people, but i never stopped sharing our stories. I never stopped wishing she was w me to share those memories and new beginnings. I wanted to be part of her life as much as i wanted her to be part of mine.

We just. Didn’t make it. As new friends arrived, jealousy and sadness became part of our relationship. I felt one sided and forgotten. The relationship was broken. But the truth is that, it broke the moment we graduated from junior high school and we went to separate schools. Our fate was decided long before i moved and it hurt me deeply. I remember hanging out at her house one time, we didn’t get to see each other everyday anymore so Fridays were a really big deal. She received a call from a new friend at school and continued to talk to her for over an hour. Sadness invaded my body. I knew. I knew that our friendship was starting to fade and I couldn’t do anything about it. The rest is history.

We rekindle every once in awhile but it is never the same. She is still my best friend but we don’t have the relationship we used to.

Though, I am glad we could go back to be there for each other these past few days as the news came out. I had my best friend for a while again and that is a gift i will thank Liam for, though, I wish it never happened, cause it is never gonna be the same without him.

I hope you rest in peace Liam 🤍 I know the truth and I promise you to never take anything for granted. To always be grateful and to appreciate the memories of you and what you did for me forever. Fly high 🕊️ I know I will always be able to find you in the sky. I knew how much we, fans, meant to you and i can assure you, you meant the world for us.