#grandpa had a brain hematoma

[ehlnofaey]

so suddenly there's a slight (like. 90% slight) chance we will be moving to a bigger city three hours away somewhere between now and january and let me tell you idk how i feel

[timeoverload]

Today has been very emotional for me. I haven't been able to relax at all. I have spent too much time on the phone. I just got off the phone with my grandma a little bit ago and we talked almost 2 hours. I am finally done making phone calls for the day.

I called the hospital before I called my grandma to get an update on my mom. They moved her to the PCU and she is stable right now. The nurse told me that they had to do a cardioversion and TEE on her when she was admitted. They had to do the cardioversion because her heart was beating irregularly. Her heart seems to be working properly now but her blood pressure is slightly elevated. She has a subdural hematoma but they aren't planning on doing brain surgery at this time. She is refusing to take the medication that will help prevent it from getting worse. She won't deny the pain medications though. I can't believe she doesn't have any broken bones.

I told the nurse she had schizophrenia and apparently they had no idea so I'm glad I said something. I told her that she has a long history of mental illness but I didn't give a lot of details.

I'm hoping that she didn't intentionally jump in front of the car because she has a history of being self-destructive. She did tell me that she was depressed earlier this week which is why I had that thought. I wonder if this accident is a result of another one of her delusions/hallucinations. I'll never forget what she did about 10 years ago. I was living in Florida at the time and I got a call from my aunt that I rarely talk to. She told me that my mom went to the store and bought a chainsaw and then tried to cut off her hand. She did this when she was living with my grandpa when he was still alive. She thought there was a microchip implanted in her hand so she thought cutting it off would solve the problem. She only cut through part of her wrist and must have realized what she was doing because she stopped and drove herself to the hospital even though she was bleeding out. She had to have a long surgery to fix her wrist and hand but she still has problems with it and a bad scar. I couldn't be there for her back then either because I was too far away. She can be reckless so I worry.

They are going to be monitoring her for a while and I'm not sure how long she will be there. She is very tired. The nurse tried to ask her if she wanted to order food and she just closed her eyes. I hope she is able to rest and get something to eat.

They are going to call me if anything changes because I am her emergency contact. I wish I was able to make decisions about her medical care for her but I don't have the legal rights to do that unfortunately. I am going to do what I can to help her from here.

I'm not planning on traveling to see her by myself right now. I don't feel good enough to do anything like that alone. I'm only going to do that if her condition worsens or if she needs to have surgery.

I am planning on taking Monday off so that I will have time to contact the case worker and try to find her a safer place to go when she gets out of the hospital. I am responsible for her now because my grandma can't handle it anymore. I hope that she will stay put if I find her a place to live. She needs to stop wandering around the country. She is not well enough to continue doing what she's doing. I don't expect her to come back here but I want her to be safe where she's at.

I am very worried about her but I need to focus on myself for a while I think. I was able to make myself something for dinner so that made me happy. I feel better now that I ate something but I'm tired. I am going to lay down soon. I might watch tv later or something. Hopefully I will get some better news tomorrow and I'm not so stressed out.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow. Thank you for listening to me vent. 💖💖💖