#grandma is praying for me i am sure

[ninn-o]

(imagine I would show up like this at the family dinner)

[coriphallus]

DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt1 - Blood Magic

alright let's do this. let's write an in-depth review of veilguard. this will be long and this will be negative and i might eventually say some good things but everything i say will be undermined with a 'BUT'.

its now been around a week since i finished the game and had some time to parse my thoughts and this is why i didnt enjoy the game; NOT why you shouldnt.

so dragon age has a very special place in my heart and i am %100 the kind that has DAO as their favourite game. i have played these games religiously, and let me prefix this by saying i was not hyped for this game, i wont lie and say i wanted bw to succeed or i hoped the game would be good etc etc. if i liked the game, it would be a surprise. alas.

so theres multiple reasons for that, but the canary in the mine for me had been the announcement on blood magic, and yeah i was not shocked after DAI but i was still disappointed. so lets start with blood magic:

Blood Magic

DA lore has changed alot over time, and just like the media it took inspiration from (ASOIAF) i was under the impression that it used unreliable narrators deliberately, just as theyve poked fun at the concept with bethanys tits. it made sense then that the people telling these stories didnt know much about blood magic therefore they couldnt explain it fully but we've known some things for certain, from the text. blood magic uses blood as its source of power instead of lyrium (blood=life force), what constitutes as blood magic is open to interpretation (i.e phylacteries), multiple groups outside of the 'civilised society' such as chasind are not so staunchly against it, knowledge on it can be passed down from a mentor and that mentor usually happens to be a spirit. it can be used to enact control over people in a literal sense and thats considered by the narrative of all DA games to be more reprehensible than burning someone alive.

now i will derail this but i swear im going somewhere with it. i grew up in a country with majority white people, some blond, most with exposed hair who lived in big cities with cobblestone roads and snowy winters and starbuckses, and who would consider themselves westerners. some religious practices i know less about than most christians know about their holidays.

where my grandma lived was at the bottom of a high slope, and once a year when we went to visit her id see a thick trail of blood trickle down from the waterway to pool on her street, and at that dinner the family (and neighbours, sometimes) would bring a myriad of dishes and we'd feast. i would see butchers shops clean their curbs with buckets of water, mopping red tinted liquid down a drain. when i grew older and we were visiting my mothers village i watched the men subdue and kill a cow that we were going to eat that night. i watched them skin it and separate the meat from its bones, explaining what parts of an animal is used for which dishes because it was their craft and a young girl showed interest. as people we always live with the knowledge that our lives depend on death, whether it be a plant or an animal. existence is not moral and clean, and death is messy. getting blood stains out of a fabric once a month is the lived reality of more than half the human population.

i was not raised religious, nobody in my close family were, i didn't feel any sort of way when those men started to pray around the cow but i knew why they did it, even if it was performative for some, for the rest they had to show respect. the cow was meant to represent somebody you cared about, offering it in their stead symbolically. it needed to be respected, it needed to be butchered without pain. save from one serving of meat, as was tradition, were donated to the food banks.

now im sure some of you are thinking 'no matter how you slice it, its still a brutal act. made more brutal by the audience deriving some form of moral superiority' and yes, i used to think that too, because what is a religious practice for them is a show to me. but it is the norm where i grew up, and in the end a cow is dead regardless because we need to eat. and some people who needed to eat more than us got to eat too.

somewhere in germany news break out that some immigrants were practicing unethical and unsanitary butcherings, you see the footage of men in kufi and puffy pants and women covered completely in black sheets get ushered out by police. they shout some things in a foreign language, speaking the name of their foreign god. they show a censored room covered in blood and gore.

so i have to ask now, when you play veilguard and see venatori torturing and exploding a halla into a puff of red smoke which image does it bring to mind, what do you think of when you hear 'ritual sacrifice'? you may not have noticed this parallel but your brain sure did, as it has been noticing for your entire life and counting, the same reason you cringe at the barbarity of people consuming raw flesh, painting their foreheads with blood, killing animals you would pet. its alien, its gross, its wrong.

i cant play this game and take it seriously with its mask yanked off, gloating about its lack of nuance every step of the way. when you hit people red stuff comes out, red stuff bad. killing bad. murder bad. that it extends more sympathy to a fantasy deer than it ever allows for living breathing people of its universe, faceless and primitive.

in other DA games there were people over there somewhere who enslaved others, built their entire civilization on the ruins of gods they cannot comprehend, practiced bloody sacrifices and rituals that doomed the world for their own power, and even in their homeland they are nothing but canon fodder to be murdered and gawked at. their traditions, religion, entire culture is less than a set dressing, because whatever grosses you out are the bad apples, because the good ones cant be anything else and still derive sympathy from the audience.

and its true, you need to be an exceptional writer to make that work, especially if you dont have any real life experience to pull from. you need to stain your hands a little, and be prepared to be called dirty.

but i see it, i see those news reports everywhere i look in the game, i see the streets being cleaned and scrubbed so the tourists wouldnt call them backwards people, unclean, less than.

ive never played a game so repulsed by and is uninterested in its own universe than DAV, in every line of dialogue i can feel it trembling in fear. my companions tell me i dont need to watch a deer getting butchered, i can look away and proceed to electrocute hundreds of masked men some of whom are talking about comically evil things like patricide.

this has always been a point of contention in the medium of video games as the most prominent way to engage with the world has been through violence, and for me the DA franchise has always managed to tackle this by allowing its main character to be messy. yes, hawke cleaves thru countless faceless raiders but theyre also an illegal immigrant trying to get by with nothing to offer to the world than their violence. warden is deliberately recruited for that same violence, the only purpose of their existence is to fight as theyre made to shed everything else from their old life. and still, still you play these characters as they are allowed to grow, heal, carve out a little space for themselves where they can laugh and joke with their peers. it is juxtaposed to that darkness in their lives that makes those moments precious.

'what is good?' the games asked, and they answered 'doesn't matter, the world can be a better place with them in it'

veilguard asks 'what is good?' and answers 'you are.'

it doesnt matter whether blood magic is bad lore-wise (and that discussion is irrelevant to this decision made by the devs), because it needs to be narratively. like tabloid news the entire premise of the story is built on it. it needs to be inaccessible to and shunned by your party and rook because they need to be 'good' and in contrast, your enemies need to be 'bad'

and like dominoes it retroactively reframes the moral stance of every game in the franchise.

so, yes, i just laughed when i saw that announcement. i didnt know what else to do. but hang on to your knickers because it gets so much worse...

[strongheartneteyam]

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 7

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: loads of angst, sexual tension, reader apologizes to Neteyam, fluff, Neteyam yearning for reader, physical contact between Neteyam and reader, some humor in Kiri's and Neteyam's interactions, Neteyam and reader miss each other, wounded Neteyam, reader's strong romantic feelings towards Neteyam, jealous reader, Neteyam talks to reader about the na'vi spirituality, reader is slowly starting to trust Neteyam, TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of a deceased family member and reader's feelings about their absence in her life, Neteyam comforting reader. Tell me if there's more, pls.

Again writing in the am... That's one of the only periods of the day I actually have some peace and quiet, so… 🤷🏻‍♀️ what can I say? Your girl does what she can. lol hope y'all enjoy this. Comments would be very appreciated 🤍 ps: there's just so much angst in this damn fanfic that I can never write it without getting emotionally destroyed 🥲 send help

Slightly proofread. There might be some mistakes along the way. I can't do more than that now bc it's past 5 am, I still didn't get any sleep and I'm dying 💀💩 love y'all ❤ bye I'm gonna try to sleep now

Part 6: I tried to hide but I still believe

𓇼

So many questions but I don't ask why

Maybe someday but not tonight

Hush hush, now

Don't you ever say a word of what you ever thought you heard

Don't you ever tell a soul but you know

I tried to hide but I still believe that we were always meant to be

And I can never let you go

No

Hush Hush (Avril Lavigne)

𓇼

You weren't quite sure what to do now. Your heart was pounding as nervousness covered you and there was an ache, a burn inside your chest.

You decided to close your eyes again and pretend to be asleep. You didn't know if Neteyam had noticed you there or not but you were praying he hadn't.

"Brother? Why are you back early?" Kiri questioned as she held a wooden green bead between her index finger and her thumb. All Kiri could think about was "Oh, Great Mother, this is gonna get really awkward really soon."

"Hi to you too!" Neteyam joked and Kiri rolled her eyes at him "I got bitten by an animal. No big deal, though." He tried to calm his sister down when he noticed the concern in her features "But as it was in my arm, I couldn't really go hunting with my friends for at least two days because it's swollen, so… I'm back early. There's no fun in being there for longer if I can't join the hunting competitions with the boys." Neteyam laughed it off but the bite was still hurting in a pungent way that bothered him a lot.

Kiri laughed "Yeah, I see. And I bet grandma was healing you with those herbs that make the wounds burn even more that you hate so much and you couldn't wait to get on your Ikran and fly back here, right?"

Neteyam frowned but he was chuckling too.

"Yeah, you got me." He scratched his head. It was a habit of his. "By the way, can you help me out with the bite, sister?" He asked

Kiri sighed in disappointment "Why didn't you send for Ronal? I'm kinda busy here." She signaled with her head towards her hands that were holding her necklace

"I don't wanna disturb her sleep. She might try to drown me." Both siblings started to laugh "Plus, you're a great healer." Neteyam defended himself and stroked his younger sister's ego

Kiri let out a grunt.

"Ok, then. Sit down and I'll help you."

"Thanks, teylu." He teased

Calling each other "teylu" was Neteyam's and Kiri's favorite way to insult one another. You know, it's a sibling's thing.

"You're the teylu here!" Kiri snapped back but in a playful way "Bothering me in the middle of the eclipse… did you know I have guests? Be quiet, they're asleep." Kiri said in a hushed, low tone as she gathered the medicinal plants she kept in her marui and the water she needed to mush together to make a healing substance and apply on Neteyam's wound

"Who are you talking about?" He chuckled "Is Tsireya and some other friend of yours spending the night here?"

As soon as Neteyam heard your name come out of Kiri's lips, his mouth got dry and he felt his heart skip a beat. Neteyam gritted his teeth, his jaw tensing up. He couldn't believe you were there. He couldn't believe he was gonna see your face again. Neteyam had started to wonder if maybe you had found a way to not come back to his tribe because of your job ever again after your team started to show up there without you multiple times. He didn't know if he should be sad or happy that you were there in his sister's home. To tell the truth, there was a mix of both emotions moving in an agonizing little dance inside his chest. He missed you like crazy and he had been dying to see you again but he knew that as soon as he looked at you again and saw your small frame and smelled your unique scent, he would find it utterly hard to resist taking you in his arms and kissing you. Yes, Neteyam was still hurting a whole lot and he was still a bit angry at you, but, Eywa… he felt like a piece of him was missing ever since you left. The yearning to feel you against his body again was bigger than the wound in his ego. So, Neteyam had to make a big effort to keep himself together and not run to the tiny but hugely beautiful girl he now recognized as being you, sleeping in one of the mats on the floor of his sister's marui. 

Neteyam had no idea you were actually awake and listening to the conversation he had been having for some minutes now with Kiri.

𓇼

Kiri had now taken care of Neteyam's wound. It was on his biceps.

"Damn, it must have hurt a lot… Poor him…" You thought.

You breathed in deeply and breathed out, trying to gather courage to do the next thing. You got up from your mat, your legs carefully avoiding Adeline and Kate, as their bodies were lying right next to where you were lying before. 

You walked towards where Neteyam and Kiri were. She was finishing putting away the healing materials in a straw basket while squatting. 

"Hi." You sheepishly greeted Neteyam "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

His feline yellow eyes lingered on you for a second, like he was trying to find a way to respond, but it was difficult to do so.

"Sure." It was all he could say

Kiri gazed rapidly at the both of you "I'm gonna give you guys some privacy." She could feel what you guys were gonna talk about. 

All of you were keeping your voices down so your conversation wouldn't wake the girls up.

Kiri quickly got out of her marui, leaving you and Neteyam "alone" (Technically, Kate and Adeline were there too, even if they were asleep, nothing could guarantee that they wouldn't wake up).

You sat down next to him on the floor, feeling awkward and guilty.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you that morning after the party. I didn't mean to be. I didn't mean to… I don't know, to be so blunt, to be so… cruel when turning you down. I really am sorry. I understand if you're mad at me. I deserve it." 

"I wasn't mad, I was… hurt." Neteyam admitted 

"You were a little mad." You insist with an awkward smile

"Yeah, my pride was hurt. As I said, at the end of the day, it wasn't anger, it was pain." There really was pain in his face, even now

Damn, now you felt even worse…

"But we can just forget about it. It's in the past now. I accept your apology." Neteyam smiled to hide the part of him that was still screaming at him to ask you once again to be his mate. Maybe this time you'd say "yes"... Damn, who was he kidding? He knew it was just stupid wishful thinking.

"Thanks for being so nice to me even after I was such a jerk to you… You didn't have to forgive me, you know." You gave him a sad smile

"Of course I have to. You deserve it. You deserve so much more." He smiled back, sheepishly 

You sighed internally. Why did he have to always be so nice? That only made your heart hurt more and more for rejecting him that morning after the beach party. But it was for the best. It's better if you and Neteyam share nothing but a friendship. You would never wish to taint him with all the turmoil of negative emotions and traumas you carry around wherever you go.

"So… Can we… be friends?" You asked, fearing the answer that was coming

"Of course, tawtute." Neteyam confirmed as he smiled kindly at you "I'd love to have you as my friend."

A few seconds of some awkward silence later, you tried breaking the ice.

"So… I saw you talking to Munì. How's she doing?" The words left your lips before you realized it, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.

Way to go, (y/n)! Worst possible way ever to break the ice!

Neteyam's hairless eyebrows frowned. 

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her since that morning."

"Really?" There was way more anger slipping out of you than you had anticipated. "I saw the way you two were smiling at each other. You really did not talk to her after that morning?" Why were you questioning him like that? Jesus…

God, you didn't even have the right to be angry! Neteyam wasn't your boyfriend or anything like that. But still, jealousy was eating your insides.

Neteyam laughed at the question, realizing you seemed jealous and bitter about it. But it seemed too good to be true. Did he really still have a chance to win your heart? Eywa knows he would never give up on trying to get you if he knew he had even the slightest of chances with you.

"Tawtute, I was just talking to her. You have to stop assuming things about people!" He smiled at you showing no teeth while shaking his head from side to side, showing you how silly your bad habit was "Actually, I was trying to be nice to her to not break her heart too much because yes, she was flirting with me but I wasn't interested."

You felt blood run to your cheeks.

"But you guys seemed so happy…"

"I was just being nice to her." Neteyam reinforced "I promise. Do you trust me?" He asked gently 

Unfortunately, the first instinct that came to your head was "Don't believe him. He's lying to you. You saw what you saw." but this time you were able to actually think a little more, be a little more rational and wonder "What did I actually see? Neteyam was really just talking to Munì. I didn't see him touching her or kissing her or anything. OK, she was smiling and clearly flirting with him, but that doesn't matter. Just because she was trying to charm him, it doesn't mean he was being charmed by her. All I saw was him treating her nicely and smiling at her and Neteyam is usually nice to everyone. He's right… I should trust more freely."

You looked at Neteyam and breathed deep.

"I do." You gave him a coy smile and he smiled back, this time revealing his big sharp fangs to you as his lips parted.

Damn, why was he so freaking hot? Ugh!

𓇼

After some time spent talking to each other, Neteyam took something out of a small dark brown pouch bag.

"I made this for Tuk" Neteyam said, holding an oblong piece of wood with an image of a Viperwolf (or a Nantang, in na'vi) carved in it. "She loves Nantangs."

"It's beautiful. You're talented." You smiled at him

"Thanks." Neteyam smiled back, his golden eyes squinting slightly at you 

The gift Neteyam had made for Tuk reminded you of the gifts you and Tracy would give each other. You used to make colorful bead bracelets and give them to her. She would get so happy and smile widely at you. Your heart would feel warm. After she grew up a bit and wasn't a small toddler anymore, she started to make you some and give them to you too. It became a sisterly tradition for the both of you.

God, how you missed her… Your chest started to hurt and a lump was now in your throat, making it harder to breathe.

Neteyam noticed.

"Are you OK?" He asked, concern all over his beautiful features 

You started telling Neteyam how your little sister had died in the car accident. You finally let your defenses down to the point that now you felt comfortable to tell him not just that but also how you felt agonizingly alone and lost after her passing, as you both had a strong, pure bond. Tracy used to be your best friend.

"I loved being her big sister, giving her advice and taking care of her. I miss all the nights we would stay up eating candy and watching stupid teenage movies because she loved them so much." You reminisced through tears

Neteyam related deeply to you, on how it felt good to be the older sibling. All he could do was thank Eywa that he still had all his siblings alive, safe and sound. Thinking about losing little Tuk, Lo'ak or Kiri like you lost Tracy made his chest hurt profusely. He could only imagine your pain. He knew he could never actually know how much it must have broken you in pieces to see your little sister for the last time, paler, no longer breathing, but he felt so, so much empathy towards you.

All Neteyam wanted to do was hold you tight and make all your pain go away. He knew he couldn't get rid of all your sorrows but he would surely make his biggest effort to fight away all the demons he would be able to. 

"Eywa, (y/n)... I'm so, so sorry about that. I can only imagine how much you must miss her. I know I would if I lost any of my siblings…" Just the thought of that made his chest hurt a little bit "You know, my people have a saying about death: All energy is only borrowed, and one day you have to give it back. I don't know if it gives you any comfort but I think it's a good way to view the passing. It's not the end. Your sister's body helped plants grow on the ground she was buried in, did you know that? A part of her still lives inside the leaves or the flowers or the grass there. I'm assuming Earth's ground works like Pandora's ground does." He chuckled slightly, trying not to seem disrespectful 

"Neteyam, that's actually… really comforting. And beautiful. Thank you so much." You smiled at him and felt an urge to touch his hand to show him your gratitude but you thought it was better not to do it.

Eventually you fell asleep, back against the marui's wall. Neteyam carried you to your mat in his arms, carefully, just so he wouldn't wake you up, even though you seemed to be in deep sleep. He softly laid you down on your mat and felt the urge to kiss you goodnight but he knew he couldn't. And it broke his heart not to do it because he loved you with all his body and soul.

Neteyam quickly left Kiri's marui and headed to his family's home, trying hard to forget your beautiful sleeping face all the way until he got there, trying hard to forget your unique and addictive scent, the way your lips felt just like the inside of a rose when you both had kissed, the way it felt to mate with you and feel your soft human skin against his… It didn't matter how much he tried, he would never be able to forget you. Your name was tattooed on his heart.

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003

@lala-1516

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

[gemglyph]

I’ll give you all some advice, but first let’s take a walk together through some of my life.

I have some family that was killed in the Holocaust. I did not learn this until recently, but in retrospect I probably should have known.

What I had learned (when I was “old enough” and it was therefore deemed okay to talk about) was that my ashkenazi family narrowly avoided being slaughtered in the Holocaust by escaping to the US before the US closed its borders to jewish refugees.

I have always known since I was little that some of my family are jews from Sicily. They avoided pogroms (jew hunts) by hiding that they’re jewish. This part of my family immigrated (probably actually fled) to the US prior to WWII (or WWI, my family bickers about this. We don’t have records, I guess).

In both instances, they have to hide who they are to protect themselves.

Life happens, jews persist, I’m born.

Elementary school, I’m told by my family I can’t talk about my home life at school. I’m singled out by my peers and bullied for being different. I move states. Go to an entirely different elementary school. I’m singled out and bullied for being different. Jewish. Kids know this word, I know this word, it’s the 2000s, people use jew as a slur. You know that they mean it that way. Because they say it like it’s wrong.

Middle school, I only fit in with the “weird kids”. I have maybe 5 friends.

One of my friends mom is obsessed with taking me to church if I were to attend a sleepover. When I stop spending time over there because she made me uncomfortable, two of my friends confess they’re only around me because they’re trying to convert me to catholicism.

I have 3 friends.

One of my friends say they can’t be around me because it gets them bullied for associating with a jew.

I have 2 friends.

One of my friends moves away.

I have 1 friend.

It takes me being in high school for two years before I actually make any new friends. Some online, some in person. I find a couple more people I connect with and call my friends. I don’t fit in with the rest of my classmates. I’m aggressively bullied by two different groups of classmates. Jew is still used as a slur. People yell “Heil Hitler” at me in the hallway. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve actually seen the Nazi salute in person.

Because “I look jewish enough, people can just tell. It’s a joke”.

Is it? Is it a joke?

2016. I just graduated highschool and I’m in my first week of my first semester of community college. I’m stalked to my car after night class and basically pinned between my car and a big truck. He grabbed my hair and hit my head against my car. This extremely tall man tells me he should beat me to death right now because I’m a disgusting jew. I believe he will.

I’m saved by a stranger who pulls up and makes the man uncomfortable enough that he leaves. In the large truck that had been parked next to me.

I had nothing on me that is “visibly jewish”. He followed me because I look jewish enough to torment. Because I am.

I hate myself for months because I froze. I start paranoia carrying concealed knives and pray I don’t have to use them. I obsess over learning self defense. I’m disabled and not sure I’d actually be able to protect myself. I learn anyway.

2017. I drop out of community college for a few different reasons. I’m stalked on social media. I delete a lot of my accounts.

I find a job. I’m harassed every shift for six months by a supervisor who said he was happy his family was Nazis in Germany. Among many, many other things. Such as gas chamber “jokes”. My manager tells me it was a joke and to not take it too seriously.

I was working at Starbucks.

2018. I’m told that my grandma dying is a good thing because there’s “one less jew in this world”. My grandma was buried in a grave at a local christian church that she attended most her life because that was the only community she had. We never said anything to anyone (it wasn’t safe). This was supposed to be a family friend. This is my grandma’s funeral.

Later I find out that someone stole the things we left at her grave.

2020. I’m working as a pharmacy technician. My coworkers find out I’m jewish and tell me “not to wear anything that could show that because the area isn’t safe” for me. Because I’m jewish.

I stay at this job for a year before returning to school.

2021. I don’t tell anyone, people guess because I “look jewish” and ask me based on appearance. I have found a more accepting community, but I don’t share much. I’ve learned better.

2022. I make it to University. I don’t talk much to classmates, but I make friends.

2023. I talk about religion with a friend at school, they find out I’m jewish. Some people start avoiding me after October. I have said nothing other than mentioning I’m jewish.

2024. I am told, to my face, by a college student, that jews control the United States government, the media, and Hollywood. Citing a major conspiracy theorist. When prompted to consider his sources, he tells me I’m only saying that because I’m jewish.

This list is not exhaustive, but it is exhausting. I’ve faced this shit my entire life and I’m not alone. My story isn’t unique.

It’s nearing the end of 2024. There has been a huge rise in antisemitism/bigotry over the past year. People are doing the same things they have always done. Tormenting jewish people, calling us slurs, telling us to kill ourselves. The list goes on.

The Nazis came for the jews first. Our neighbors turned on us. Other marginalized people we hoped we could rely on threw us out hoping to save themselves. Only for the Nazis to come for them.

First they came for us jews.

They will come for you.

Do something about it.

[ga-yuu]

Angels, Demons and Jewels of Love ~ THE NINE CURSED MARKS

Sneak Peak of the PROLOGUE ~ Introduction of MC

When someone gives a piece of jewellery to a loved one.

Both the recipient and the giver are blessed and glorified by those around them.

The road ahead for those two was sure to be full of light-----

MC: "Welcome. Please feel free to look around."

This is the jewellery department in the Lunaschente department store.

Jewellery, a symbol of happiness.

I am proud to be in the business of selling it.

(Giving a piece of jewellery to a loved one...)

(I hope one day I will have the opportunity to do so as well...)

Male customer: "Excuse me?"

While polishing a glass case at the counter, a couple approached me.

MC: "Yes. How can I help you?"

Female customer: "I want to buy a necklace, but I can't make up my mind...."

The couple, who are probably in their 20s is already wearing matching rings.

MC: "I'll be happy to recommend you some necklaces that would suit you both."

Female customer: "Wow. Thank you! ......Ah! Miss."

MC: "Yes?"

Female customer: "The brooch on your chest is so beautiful."

Female customer: "Is that a product here?"

MC: "Oh no no.....this one is my personal belonging."

Female customer: "Oh really!?"

After glancing at the brooch I always wear,

I turned to the couple and started showing our products with a smile.

(It was this 'brooch' that made me fall in love with jewellery itself)

This 'brooch' was brought from a jeweller in my grandparents' generation and passed on to my mother.

When I turned 20, my parents gave it to me as a birthday present.

(This 'brooch' has the power to make wishes come true)

(Is what my grandma used to say)

(I don't believe in such magic but....)

Still, I held onto it and always wore it as a lucky charm.

Female customer: "Ah! I love this one! The design and the colour of the gemstones are so beautiful."

Male customer: "If you like it, then let's buy that.....excuse me, Miss?"

(I believe that every piece of jewellery has the power to make people happy)

MC: "Thank you for your purchase."

MC: "I wish you both all the happiness in the world."

The couple who purchased the necklaces looked very happy from behind.

(The path you two are on must be filled with happiness...)

..........

On my way home.

(Today is late than usual)

I was walking down a somewhat unsafe road, which I would never normally choose.

(This road is darker than I thought, but it's a shortcut to get home faster)

While praying for nothing to go wrong, and fast-tracking my way, when I turned around the corner.

Thug: "Coming home from work? I've seen you somewhere. You're the woman from that department store, right?"

A man in dirty clothes, reeks of alcohol.

My path was blocked by the man with an unpleasant aura and I can't help but look away.

MC: "Please move..."

I unconsciously held my bag in my arms as if to protect myself and the man grinned.

Thug: "You have that nice brooch, right? How much is it?"

MC: "It's a gift from my parents....it's not for sale..."

Thug: "Really? Can I see it?"

MC: "Hey! Let go!"

As I was trying to shake off his tight grip.

Suddenly the thug in front of me was blown away by some force.

??? (Stephen): "........Tch, how unsightly."

(....Wha? W-What was that?)

A tall man emerges from the darkness and looked like he simply punched the guy.

MC: "T-Thank you very much...."

But my saviour takes one look at me and sighs.

??? (Stephen): ".....*sighs* He who has no desire to live in dark places..."

??? (Stephen): "Must not sneak into one."

His eyes seemed to say that I asked to be attacked.

He shooes me away and disappeared into the darkness, while dragging the thug with him.

(....At least, my brooch is safe)

Just in case, I took off my brooch and kept it my bag.

??? (Gabriel): ".....Hey you!"

I hear another voice and looked up to another strange man appearing before me.

??? (Gabriel): "I'm looking for a man. Have you seen anyone around here?"

??? (Gabriel): "Maybe a dirty drunkard, who doesn't seem to have anything to with noble-looking man like me."

MC: "Oh. I just saw another man taking him away. Just now, over there."

??? (Gabriel): "Hmmm...I see...."

When I pointed at the direction into the darkness, where the two of them disappeared, the 3rd man went into the darkness without giving me a second glance.

??? (Gabriel): "This country is still in such a dark place...."

The only words heard were grunts that were not directed at anyone.

(....Is he a police officer or something? He has a strangely scary atmosphere)

Some of the main streets in this country have developed spectacularly such as the department stores where I work.

But one step into the back alleys and one will find remnants of the 'darkness' of a previous era.

I decided to turn around to escape and take the well-lit road back.

I thought I'd made up my mind not to go near that alleyway again------

Sneak Peek of the PROLOGUE ~ The two mafia gang

The members of Sheol stood behind me and the members of Elysium stood in front of me.

Surrounded by the two mafia gang, I was panicking and had no way of escape.

(Is there nothing I can do right now.......?)

How should I protect the brooch in such a desperate situation?

Mikhail: "Hey boss, there's a report."

One of the Elysium members looked impatient and calls out to Mr. Gabriel.

Gabriel: "Hmm, okay..."

After nodding a several times, Mr. Gabriel then looks at me.

His usual mocking smile is slapped on his face.

Gabriel: "The brooch isn't in your room....."

Gabriel: "Which means, you have it with you right now. Am I correct?"

(.....You searched my house!?)

There was no words for how insolent it is.

(What should I do now....!? They'll find out soon.....)

Without paying attention to my shocked expression, Mr. Gabriel continued talking.

Gabriel: "From now on, Elysium will take custody of you."

Gabriel: "Oswal."

Oswal: "Yes. Come here, miss."

Mr. Gabriel gave orders while looking at me.

Then a man named Oswal approached me.

MC: "Don't come near me....!"

Stephen: ".....Is that what you call 'justice'? Searching civilians' houses?"

Gabriel: "It takes a lot of heavy-handedness to do the right thing, sometimes."

With me in between, the mafia bosses glared at each other.

Stephen: "I was on my way to get the jewel...."

Stephen: "But, shall we end this long-running feud now?"

Gabriel: "Haa....sure, why not? We're going to win anyways."

Stephen: "Keep saying that. I'll make you regret your words."

Gabriel: "Sure sure.....keep dreaming."

Mr. Gabriel also looked ready to fight Mr. Stephen's provocation.

Marcus: "Boss, I'm always ready to go!"

Berhard: ".....I let you get away with it earlier, but I'm going to get you this time."

Mikhail: "Where does your confidence come from, Berhard?"

Raphael: "You're so belligerent. I don't really care either way to be honest."

Oswal: "....Stephen had made it harder for us to get close to her."

The story starts progressing in a strange direction.

For them, this probably a normal thing.

(Everyone here is serious.....even if it means committing a murder)

(If that's the case, I will never give my precious brooch to them!)

(I will protect this brooch....!)

I tightly gripped the brooch inside my pocket, strongly wishing for it.

Suddenly, a strong light overflows from inside my pocket.

Stephen: "What the...!?"

Gabriel: "That light....Quick! Somebody take the brooch from her!"

At Gabriel's command, Oswal and the others extended their arms towards me.

Marcus: "That's ours...!"

Marcus and the other members of Sheol also reached out to me.

However, the light grew stronger and stronger, not only enveloping me but also my surroundings.

[zaxal]

i had a long overdue talk with my mother about how she and my father hurt me when i visited them for my grandma's funeral and they

refused to use my name in private, waiting until i was off the plane 1k miles away from home to tell me it was 'too much' and that they weren't even going to try after i intimated that hearing my old name hurt.

waited until the dead of night when i had no means of escaping to start preaching to me about how worried they were about my soul, talking over my attempts to tell them that i still follow their fucking religion and trying to make me responsible for their sudden anxiety that i was going to hell

and instead of engaging with any of that

i should be grateful they aren't as bad as they could be.

she never said she wouldn't use my name during the visit for the funeral, she just forgot (reader, she did. they told me while we were still in the fucking airport that they were not going to do it, they weren't going to even try.)

dad's never going to use my name bc he picked my birth name so i need to decide what's more important: a name or a relationship with my father.

it's just SO hard to use a new name for me and she's TRYING and she doesn't even REALIZE and then she messes up and i get so MAD about it (she admits she doesn't practice at home, only when she talks to me. i've reminded them, but never shouted at them, never reminded them in front of people, never humiliated them about it, never been fucking assertive, and that's my goddamn bad because maybe shame would yield progress. i get hurt and close off because making the effort for me isn't worth it to either of them. apparently this is offensive. i should just accept it.)

"getting mad at us for using [deadname] would be like us being offended that everyone up there calls you zax" except for the part that it's what i want. it makes me feel seen and loved and accepted and cared for. it's not the fucking same at all.

i need to "accept [my] piece in all of this" which she didn't elaborate on at all but ig i'm to blame somehow bc of course i am.

and all of this started bc she started telling me that she and dad didn't raise me right. they should have had me be more involved in the church, should have had me reading the bible more, should have made Sure i was praying, etc etc etc and i have no idea how she wants me to sit there and listen to her say this and pretend she's not saying "if we'd been better christians you wouldn't be trans" like literally go to the hell i don't believe in.

[khaopybara]

Ok so we are in agreement that may definitely knows that ai-oon is not oom right? Like even if she somehow managed to avoid seeing the news of the accident our girl oon is NOT doing well acting like someone may has/had been dating lol.

But also I love them so i am more than willing to turn a blind eye to all the sus behavior 😆

ALSO we finally got PhimPang and they are ICE COLD!! I wanted to like Pang soo much because of ciize but Pang is the WORST! I was so mad when she pull oon away from may so that she could basically make sure that May was blind. WHO DOES THAT!? 🤬🤬🤬 i know we’re only on ep 2 but at this point i am all for PhimJan!

Really i am praying to the GL gods for a true triangle! Give me PhimPangJan or give me death!

AND ANOTHER THING that grandma is on thin ice

Ok what else….planetarium dates was adorbs and the the cockroach scene had me dying 😭

-🤫

miss famous lawyer who's studying to enhance human rights and went to a meeting in geneva to create a roadmap to help with her mission most definitely knows something is up. i think i got spoiled about this whole situation, but i'm not 100% sure how trustworthy people's vague commentaries and my deduction skills are. either way, oon is now the love of my life. she is adorable and she needs a very tight and good hug, and for now, may seems like she's doing it quite well (tho i must admit, my heart hurts for oon every time may calls her oom).

LISTEN! i love my girl ciize. i adored her as alpha in 23.5, and i was so looking forward to see her in pluto (still am, don't get me wrong, i think this plot line will give us so much), but from the moment ciize said, yeah you know, pang has had this crush on oon since forever but never made a move bc she didn't know oon liked women, too, but now that she knows that's an option for her, you know, she might go for it. never mind this relationship i have with this other stunning officer who lives with me. it's like having war flashbacks of raymew in only friends, tho they are very different characters in very different circunstancies.

the thing about pang tho is that she's very logical. ep 1 pang telling oon, hey girl, i know a lot has happened in the last week of your life, but you're really taking the side of a girl found out existed just the other day and you met literally once. get a grip. iconic behaviour. i was saying the same thing. but ep 2 pang make me feel she does all of that out of misplaced jealousy and sense of ownership over oon's time and presence which is not really nice. i hope we get to see more of the phimpangjan triangle thing soon, because as i said, it's gonna be juicy~ (also, jan is so much more loyal and driven than i thought she would be. from the pilot trailer, i thought she'd be just a jealous wine lady who'd get in between kapookciize, but she's sweet so far).

grandma clearly has favorites (or so we think. at least this part of the story is from oon's perspective, after all, and we know we can be biased when telling a story), but @suppaloscurse talked about it in this post and i agree with a lot of that. oon not only is the older twin, she's also the one who needed to be strong and support her younger sister. it's not fair of grandma to pick favorites so blatantly, but i feel like it's what oon has always expected. she was sidelined bc her sister's fragile health, oom went to a private school, and then as adults, oom became a flight attendant while oon works in delivery (pls know i'm not putting more value in one more than the other) and then, also married rich. namtan talked about how grandma is pivotal in oom's story and is the reason for the granddaughter's growth, so i'm looking forward to figure that relationship out, too.

also, THE SAPPHICS OWN THE SPACE. THAI GLS TAUGHT ME SO. and, props to the cockroach that gave us the classic falling on top of you scene. i've said this during ploy's yearbook when namtanfilm's character found themselves in a similar predicament that if they were dudes, they would have kissed on the lips back then, and we almost had it in today's episode. fingers crossed i still can get my cliche from them.

[to-hypnos-we-dream]

First of all I would like to thank all of those who have prayed and given us support over my Grandma's accident! We truly appreciate you all and may you all be ever blessed! She is okay and currently has minor injuries

Now, This morning, I was trying my best to get ask answered and prepare for goals of august in relation to the forms and the desires of our patrons, however I have realized, ironically

I am experiencing burnout! Something Hypnos has spoke to me about during the last revelation! Since a traumaversary is coming up, it may be attributing draining stress that is preventing me from my work at the temple! I have thus decided to go back within the system once again and allow my bandmate to front for another while while I recover from this burn out. I apologize for how slow we have been but August coming up has been a very big stress on me, I will spend time healing alongside Hypnos and when I am back I will be sure to answer all the needs of the devotees! Thank you so much!

[kyriat-stories]

Back at Manthos Palace spring was finally on it's way after hard and long winter.

The royal family had gathered in the small throne room to receive visitors from far and wide, and to enjoy some musical entertainment.

- If you allow me, Prince Heraklis said to his nephew, I really think you should think twice about this marriage. You know it's against mother's wishes, it will cost us a fortune to pay off the King Turunusemis, that greedy bastard, and last, but not least: Princess Euthalia is not known for her modesty. She is high maintenance and very stubborn, just like her mother. I don't think you will find her very attractive.

- Uncle, you know these arrangements are not made for romantic reasons. It's purely practical. It doesn't matter how I feel about her as a person.

- It's not her personal suitability that makes me worried, the Queen cut in, but how this situation has impact on the political situation. It definitely is not ideal that King Turunusemis is annoyed with us. This should have been handled in a more thoughtful way. I am very disappointed you didn't take my advise Mijarare.

- I'm sorry grandmother, but..

- Sorry is superfluous, but you have to do better if you are to avoid these situations.

- Yes, grandma Alkmini, the King sighed.

- And how do you plan to pay for it all? We are already behind because of the new temple you are building. Then it's the pay-off, and the wedding itself must have a certain standard. It will be expensive.

- The trade agreements with Oasis Springs are a success, and very profitable in terms of customs duties and taxes.

- Mijarare, with all respect, that's just peanuts. We will have to cut back on expenses for a while. And probably sell some land.

- A lovely performance dear! Queen Alkmini said to the girl who had just performed the lovely tune "Dolphins stole my heart".

- Yes, yes, very interesting, King Mijararos murmured.

- You are just praying for this concert to end, aren't you? Prince Heraklis whispered. I bet you just can't wait to get back to training with your soldier-mates, am I right?

- Spot on, uncle, the King whispered back. Honestly, these song and dance performances are so boring! I really can't understand why my father loved them so much.

- Haha, no I bet you can't! In some ways you are very different from your father, that's for sure. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Many people think he was all perfect since he was our king, but he had some really strange obsessions and very special interests, I can tell you that!

.

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[yeetus-feetus]

mother: what do you mean you don't want kids?

Me: I said I don't want to birth kids.

Mum: why adopt when you've been given the gift of life bearing?

Me: first of all gross. Life bearing? Ew I feel queezy just thinking about something growing inside me that's 🤢. Second why not adopt? There's so so many kids that need loving parents and stable homes.

Mum: yeah but the gays can adopt them.

Me: ??? Are you forgetting I'm gay? I'm bi, mum.

Mum: no no, that's just a silly phase. Bisexual isn't real, you'll meet the right man one day and give me beautiful grandchildren.

Me: again. Gross. I don't want to birth your grandchildren. I already told you the thought of another being literally growing inside me makes my skin crawl. It makes me wanna throw up just thinking about it.

Mum: well I can't understand why. It's literally in your biology-

Me, walking away because this is going nowhere and I've already had this conversation with her 3 times this week:

Hey guys it's actually because I'm trans and I can't tell her that because she'll just gaslight me even harder. I would like biological kids but that's not option for me because I don't have a cock. Otherwise I'd probably already be dad.

Also I'm pretty sure my mum is only saying this to me because her mum forced her to have kids (boomer breeding kinks istg). But I'm not her therapist and I'm not going to unpack that for her. Plus she has an extremely homoerotic friendship with her bestie wich she's still in denial about because she knows she's not a lesbian but still strictly refuses to believe that bisexuality is a real thing.

But I am so tired of having this conversation with her. So so fucking tired. She should just hurry up and go kiss a woman and leave me the fuck alone istg. Like just because she's policing her own queerness doesn't me she should be projecting that onto me.

Also fuck my stupid grandma because all of this is ultimately her fault. Like why was she so obsessed with my mum having kids? Look what that caused, a handful of gay kids with severe daddy issues running around being autistic and depressed. And where is the father? Sticking his dick in anything he can breed.

Why do older people have breeding kinks?? That's actually an important question that I'm very curious about. And why is it so much more prominent in Christian households?? Like I thought sexy was unholy or something?

I'm gonna ask my grandma maybe. I won't get any answers, probably, but she'll definitely look mortified and start praying in tongues or something which will at least be entertaining.

(side note: if I had a dick I'd probably also have a breeding kink but we'll avoiding dissecting that unwelcome inheritance.)

[itzymidzy]

"Thanks to" letter in GOLD album: Lia

Hello, this is LIA.

There are people I am so grateful to and though I want to give them only love and happiness, I'm clumsy in expressing myself. So I want to use this 'thanks to' message to convey my feelings. To my family, who love me the most in the world, thank you for praying for me every day, for the encouraging quotes and videos you send without fail, and for the random phone calls that give me strength.

Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, my brother, aunties, uncles and cousins, thank you all so much. And to my friends who have supported and worried about me, I sincerely thank you. Yejin, whenever I felt down or struggled, you always had your own way of giving me strength. Over the past year, having you by my side has been such a comfort— can't tell you how grateful I am. My dearest treasure Bella, no matter how my day has gone, at the end of it, you always greet me with the happiest face and that makes me so happy. I love you so much. To PD Park Jin-young, CEO Jung Wook, Vice President Byun Sang-bong and Director Hee-won, thank you so much for always sincerely supporting and cheering for us. I am deeply thankful to everyone at JYP Entertainment who has understood and waited for me, as well as to the members and MIDZY. I regret the time we couldn't spend together, but as much as I do, I will make sure this album repays all those who waited for the five of us to come back stronger as a complete group.

Please look forward to it! Thank you and love you always. Fighting!

[i-love-dopamine]

this got long uhm talking about my mother under the cut

ik i make jokes about x thing being bad for my health but i am sure my mom isn't good for my health

ill feel so good for a whole week and start to feel like my relationship with my mom could work out when im an adult and then out of the blue ill get a little too comfortable and make a joke or a half joke (telling my grandma she doesn't know whats in my pants, saying hobie brown is a he/him lesbian, ect) and she'll get all pissy and be bigoted and lie her ass off

like just now i was talking to my mom about fictional characters, making jokes about getting attached to horror movie characters, etc etc, and it was starting to get back into banning shows i like territory because shes a control freak

i was trying to wrap it up on a positive note so we can all go to bed without headaches and made a joke about hobie brown being my wife (has made her laugh before) and she asked what he is. now this is an incredibly general term coming from my mother. does she mean queer? does she mean race? does she mean what animation style is he in? lets try something general. i told her hes *something* but im unsure what. she presses, asking again what is he. i make a joke about people headcanoning him as a he/him lesbian.

it goes down hill from here.

she says those two terms cannot co-exist. we walk onto the front porch, a sign we are about to have a Conversation.

i tell her no two people have the same concept of gender. she tells me that doesn't change the definition. i describe a trans guy who identifies as a lesbian. she tells me thats a woman. i tell her thats not- she cuts me off. she tells me we're all he/she amphibians who are fish and marry turtles. i grit my teeth, having initially thought her using that terminology was progress a month ago, and now seeing she uses it to disregard identity.

i explain that humans crave stability, having to reiterate multiple times, partially because her skull is thick and partially because she keeps interrupting me. i politely ask her to stop interrupting me and to let me get out an idea before she changes it.

i go into names, thinking she cares for them. she disregards most of it with the occasional "im pickin up what yer puttin down." I go into star signs, knowing she cares about those (she reminds me im a gemini so often its gotten a little dysphoric before.) Interrupted. Again.

she uses the term respect, a word I've grown to hate. my bones go into attack mode, and i still incredibly politely for the context explain i dislike the word and explain that love and human compassion is better. she agrees. we'll see if she was lying or not in the following month.

we reiterate that i dont feel like shes listening, and she reassures me in an un-assuring way that she does listen and that I've taught her things. i hope i can believe her.

i bring it back to stability and identity. after a minute of being interrupted more times than i can count with absolute gibberish about heaven and being an angel and identifying as a frog i ask her what she thinks of he/him lesbians again, praying to the lord above that if hes there to let her understand. she does not, furthur reasoning to my atheism.

more gibberish, and my dad shows up. my dad, while not tumblrina levels woke, is an incredibly smart person. at first hes been not the best in any term, but its been a couple years and hes gotten better. hes also, thankfully, delt with my mom for a couple decades. he starts tearing down my moms arguments at lightning speed, and my mother becomes irritated. fuck, i knew i probably wasn't making progress the way i was going but at least I wasn't worried shed go ape shit and take away my access to the real world. she calles the term unisex, i correct her to intersex only to be told i was wrong. so, she definitely hasn't been listening.

my dad and i both end up storming off to the living room. he gives me the run down of a new anime while i keep myself from crying. i go to bed and begin working on the words you're reading now. i hear my mother and dad argue over the same points i was making, with my dad on my side. all i hear is them calling me wise, my mom actually suggesting my phone is a good thing (HUGE progress.) My mother disagrees with something my dad says, and there's a brief conversation about Palestinians, probably referring to my earlier conversation with my dad.

anyway now im watching an anime w my dad and praying my mom doesn't start shit again •3•

[deadinarussianelevator]

Hello! I came here to ask what exactly forgiveness is and how do you know when you've forgiven someone? (I am sending this to multiple Christian blogs who I respect and can send anonymous messages to)

Hello! Thank you for including me in the people you ask :) Forgiveness is no longer holding an offense against someone. So, say someone has wronged you, and they apologize. You acknowledge their apology, and decide to no longer hold what they did to you over them. Sometimes this happens easily, sometimes it takes time. Forgiveness, I would also say, does not mean everything goes on as if nothing happened.

My mom, to me, is a great example of this. Her biological Father was an alcoholic, verbally abusive, cheated on my grandma constantly, and murdered his own mother. My grandma took my mom and uncle and fled him when my mom was just 8 years old. He eventually went to prison, and was released when i was in middle school. I distinctly remember my mom realizing she needed to forgive her father. From that point forward, she was able to reflect on that relationship without feeling bitterness, hatred, and anger. Now, that didn't mean that she was like, "Ah, I need to be besties with my bio dad now". It did mean, though, that after he was released from prison, she was one of the only people who would check in every now and then to make sure he was alive. She didn't see him all the time or anything (most of the time he was homeless as a result of his alcoholism) but she was able to care for him a bit at the end of his life when he was in various nursing homes because she'd let go of the resentment and bitterness. But yeah. Idk. I think that kind of forgiveness is only possible because of what Christ did for us on the cross.

I also think of Corrie Ten Boom, who forgave a Nazi guard who she remembered from the concentration camp her and her sister were in. It's best to quote it directly:

It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there—the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain-blanched face. He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” he said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side. Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give Your forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand, a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.

(I tear up every time I read that part, it just makes me weep. Go read The Hiding Place if you haven't already and just. Weep and love it.)

How do you know you've forgiven someone? a) did you surrender it to God? b) when you think of that person, do you think of the wrong they did, or has it faded into the background? Have you let go of bitterness and resentment?

I hope that helps? Feel free to ask me more questions :)

[elagantwriterqueen]

Love of My Life // Eddie Munson

I know its a few days late but just a little Valentine One Shot!!!!!!

Summary: Eddie’s been talking for weeks about how excited he was about Valentine's Day, because that’s the day he was going to ask his dream girl to be his. You being Eddie’s best friend, and the girl secretly in love with him for 3 years now, feels heart broken.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 You were sitting in your usual seat at lunch, in between Gareth and Eddie and surrounded by the rest of Hellfire. Everyone thought it was weird that you were best friends with this group, considering you were nothing like them. Where the boys of Hellfire were loud and outspoken, you were shy and quiet, where they were demanding, you apologized and backed away. It was something that some days still shocked you as well, you’d only been at Hawkins for 3 years and you were terrified of being the new girl. But Eddie Munson approached you on your first day and introduced himself to you with grace, and enthusiasm. You'd almost been offended when he said you were like his own lost little sheep, but quickly realized that’s what he called a lot of his group. Eddie never made you feel uncomfortable, even after you’d heard the rumors about him, you’d asked him about them and he was honest with the ones that were true, and the ones that were complete garbage. He gave you an out that day, of the friendship saying that he’d understand if you didn’t want to be seen with him anymore. To which you scoffed and pulled him into a tight hug, explaining how you’d be going nowhere, if he was a cult leader then you were a member. 

A cute member, and everyone thought it, so cute and innocent, ultimately sweeter than grandma’s chocolate chip cookies. He had no idea this sweet girl was totally head over heels for him, for three years you’ve been wanting more with Eddie but too afraid to ask. And now today, a week before Valentine’s Day your shot is gone. “So next Monday is Valentine’s Day, who’s fucking excited?” Eddie slammed his hands down on the table snapping you out of your thoughts. “Well I am, because me and Jane have a date, but why are you Eddie excited about Valentine’s Day?” Mike asked, rolling his eyes, nearly being hit with a chunk of pretzel. “Because, Wheeler, if you must know, I’m in love and I’m going to tell her on Valentine’s Day!” He exclaimed, causing your eyes to widen and your mouth to drop. Gareth noticed, and tried to secretly console you, he knew how you felt and he was the only one. You felt Gareth’s fingers rubbing the side of your arm, and you prayed he’d stop. You could prevent the tears long enough to make an excuse and get out of the cafeteria, but he had to stop. “I totally spaced, I forgot I have to make up a quiz from last Friday, shit. I’ll see you guys later!” You smiled grabbing your stuff as Eddie waved you off, without so much as a second look. As you threw your garbage away and all but ran out into the hallway, you heard someone calling from behind you. “Y/n! Hey, are you okay?” Gareth asked as he finally reached you, and pulled you into a hug as the dam burst and the tears fell. “Yeah, I’ll be okay, one day.” You sobbed, leaving tears on his shirt, he calmed you down and stayed with you until the bell rang and you thanked him as you headed to English class.

You took your seat in your typical area, and a few minutes later, there was a loud thud next to you which meant Eddie was here, he instantly started tapping your shoulder. “Y/n, hey, princess, how was your make-up quiz?” He whispered, and you just smiled and nodded. “Good Eddie, thanks for asking.” You turned back to the front of the class, trying to at least pretend you were okay. There were moments in class Eddie was trying to get your attention but you just ignored it, which was torture for sure. As the bell rang you ran out the door to your next class, which lucky for you was Eddie free. When the end of the day finally came, you grabbed your stuff from your locker and headed for the front door of the school. You knew Eddie would be out back waiting for you to meet him for a ride home, so sneaking out the front and walking would be the easiest escape. It took you almost 45 minutes to walk home, and when you approached your house you saw a familiar van in the driveway and a certain curly haired metal head sitting on the steps. 

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked as you approached, refusing to even look at him you tried to argue that you weren’t. “Damnit Y/n don’t lie to me! What did I do? Please, let me fix it.” “There’s nothing to fix Eddie, I just, I can’t be around you anymore. It hurts and I can’t keep doing this to myself.” You finally spoke after a few minutes, “what hurts? Please princess, you’re my best friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Let me help you.” You stepped back away, starting to get emotional, feeling tears stinging your eyes, you were unable to hold them back anymore. “You can’t help me Eddie, no one can. I-I love you Eddie, and I can’t watch you love someone else. So it’s best if you just go, plan your big Valentine’s Day reveal or whatever, I have homework.” You gently pushed past him, as he called your name you ignored him and walked into the house locking the door and falling to the floor crying. You didn’t end up moving until you heard Eddie’s van flying down the road, and all you managed to do was go upstairs and cry yourself to sleep.

“She hates me, I don’t know what happened.” Eddie groaned to the band as they sat around for band practice the following day after school, you didn’t even bother showing up to school that day. “What did she say Eddie?” Gareth questioned, having a feeling he already knew. “She was mad about the comment I made about Valentine's Day and how I said I was in love. She may have also told me she was in love with me.” He said quieter, “well then yes you do know what happened. That girl has been in love with you since she met you, and you honestly never noticed?” Eddie sighed as he rubbed his face, “no, I guess I was just too in love with her to see it.” Gareth dropped his drum sticks, “are you fucking kidding me?” He yelled at his best friend, as Eddie just smirked at him. “It’s her Gare, the girl I was confessing my love to on Valentine’s Day.” He said, handing Gareth the letter he had written you, “Jesus Christ, this is sappy as hell but fucking beautiful man. You have to give it to her, she needs to know.” Eddie shook his head, “no she doesn’t she hates me.” Gareth thought for a second and smiled at Eddie, “You trust me Munson?” Eddie nodded, “Okay here’s the plan.” 

You were startled out of sleep when the phone next to your bed rang. “Hello?” You whispered, voice sore from crying. “Hey, I wanna read you something. Can you tell me what you think?” You rolled your eyes at Gareth’s voice, assuming it was homework. “Lay it on me, Emerson.” You teased as you sat up in your bed waiting for him to begin. “The day I met you, I felt so beside myself, like I didn’t deserve to look at such a beautiful human being. And then you wanted to be my friend, which I felt even luckier, this angel wanted to be my friend and spend time with me. I never understood where the rumors came from, but you never once believed them. I was always afraid to tell you how I felt because I was worried that you wouldn’t feel the same way and I’d lose you all together. And I couldn’t imagine a life without you Y/n, you are my best friend, and I’m pretty sure the love of my life. Happy Valentine’s Day baby, please say you’ll be mine?” You wiped the tears from your face with the sleeves of Eddie’s sweatshirt you had thrown on, trying to pull yourself together, “well listen if this is you confessing your love, I’m sorry but I think we should be friends.” You tease, as Gareth starts to laugh, “you were the girl he was talking about at lunch yesterday Y/n.” You gasped, completely shocked at this information. “What?” Just as Gareth started to speak your doorbell rang, “go, listen to him, please?” He asked, “okay.” You whispered as you hung up your phone and jumped off the bed going to answer the door. 

As you opened the door, Eddie stood there, one leg bouncing as he leaned on the post on the porch, he was fiddling with his rings as well. “Hi.” He said quietly, taking a small step closer to you, “hi Eddie.” You smiled up at him, and he saw the tears on your cheeks, “good tears I hope?” He asked, holding his arms out at his sides, and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, good tears babe.” He smirked, “babe? Hmm, I was hoping for Daddy, or Sir.” You scoffed at him throwing your arms and legs around him, and he caught you with his large hands under your legs just near your ass. “You wish, Munson.” You whispered near his ear, pulling yourself back to rest your forehead on his. “Three years we could have this the whole time.” He said, his eyes bouncing from your eyes to your lips. “Yeah, but in those three years I learned that I’ll never want anyone other than you. You truly are my best friend and the man I love.” He smiled as he leaned into your lips with his, kissing you gently. After a minute of soft kisses he pulls back and looks at you again. “I love you too, baby.”💖💖💖

[enelea]

Mortimer had gone to bed, Alexander was sound a sleep and Dina could finally ask Nina what was going on with her lately. So what's going on, Nina? You have not been yourself lately." Dina asked pointedly. "Do you ever feel bad about all this?" Nina asked quietly. "Are you kidding? No I don't and trust me now is not the time to start developing some type of moral compass." Dina spoke in a harsh whisper. "The walls have ears here, watch what you say. The butler may have turned in for the night but some staff can still be around." "I am going to have to take care of a little one of my own soon. Had tests done which came back as positive. I don't want this to be the example I set." Nina looked up at her sister and then added, "I found Grandma's old Bible by accident the other day and I started reading it." Dina did not look pleased, "so you are now going to turn into some religious prude or something?" Nina tried to hide her shaky hands. she put the fork next to the plate so it wouldn't make a noise, because her hand was shaking too much to keep it steady. She had dreaded telling her sister. She had anticipated a reaction like this but hoped to reach her. "Call it what you will, Dina. You asked what happened to me and why I have changed? Well I gave my heart to God and I can not live like this. I want my child to have proper morals and values. I will never go back to what I did before." Dina shook her head. "You are a fool. I love you but, I am not sure that I can trust you with important stuff anymore, now that you have become this, this, I don't even know what to call it." Nina felt a sadness creep into her heart. "Perhaps it is better that you don't share it with me then, because I will do the right and honorable thing with whatever information I get from you." Dina was shocked, "are you blackmailing me?" "No, not at all. I love you Dina. You need to do what is right and come clean." "Are you crazy? Don and I would probably land in prison. Get out of my life! I don't want to ever see you again and if I need to kill you to keep what I have, I will!" Dina was not whispering anymore but using a low and menacing tone. Nina looked at her sister and realized just how far her sister had let her lust for money and wealth possess her. "I will do as you have asked, you won't see me again. That doesn't mean that I don't love you and won't be praying for you." Nina said as she took her purse and coat. "I hate you!" Dina snarled as she stormed upstairs. Nina bowed her head as tears streamed down her cheeks, then she silently left the Goth mansion forever.

[princeofyorkshire]

so i’ve been kinda back (not really) (literally just waiting for louis to drop the latam dates) but this has been on my mind for a few days now. it is not fandom related, just some personal stuff involving death and grief, so if that triggers you or you’re simply not interested in reading, keep scrolling and stay safe!

ever since october 31st, 2017 i haven’t been very fond of october (and halloween, for that matter). that’s the day God took my favorite person in the world, my grandma, and reunited her with her husband she hadn’t seen in over 30 years.

it was the first time i lost someone so close to me. and i just didn’t know what to do. no one teaches you how to grieve. i felt guilty feeling relieved she was not in pain anymore; i hated that i couldn’t say her nickname, yaya, without my voice breaking. i felt so weak and shitty for being unable to talk about her, someone i loved more than life itself.

time went by and i didn’t think of her as often, and the guilt came back. one thing i knew i didn’t want to do was to forget her. but i couldn’t even mention her without this weird feeling in my stomach.

this year i opened up to my mom about how difficult october is. i always get extra anxious, and my parents were going away for a bit and it was the perfect opportunity for me to relapse. so far, i haven’t.

on october 2nd, i got a job offer from my godmother. earlier that day i had lit up a candle in my grandma’s honor, cause she would have been 95 that day. my godmother told me she had thought of telling me about the job for a few months now. and she did it, right after i talked to my yaya, prayed and hoped she was doing alright in heaven with grandpa.

so far, october has been kind. i have passed my linguistics exam that i was so sure i wouldn’t pass cause i didn’t have the energy to study. i got a job. i have amazing friends by my side. it’s only the beginning, but i am willing to look at this month in a positive way from now on. let’s go, october. show me what you got. just continue being nice, please.