#grandma is praying for me i am sure

[ninn-o]

(imagine I would show up like this at the family dinner)

[coriphallus]

DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt1 - Blood Magic

alright let's do this. let's write an in-depth review of veilguard. this will be long and this will be negative and i might eventually say some good things but everything i say will be undermined with a 'BUT'.

its now been around a week since i finished the game and had some time to parse my thoughts and this is why i didnt enjoy the game; NOT why you shouldnt.

so dragon age has a very special place in my heart and i am %100 the kind that has DAO as their favourite game. i have played these games religiously, and let me prefix this by saying i was not hyped for this game, i wont lie and say i wanted bw to succeed or i hoped the game would be good etc etc. if i liked the game, it would be a surprise. alas.

so theres multiple reasons for that, but the canary in the mine for me had been the announcement on blood magic, and yeah i was not shocked after DAI but i was still disappointed. so lets start with blood magic:

Blood Magic

DA lore has changed alot over time, and just like the media it took inspiration from (ASOIAF) i was under the impression that it used unreliable narrators deliberately, just as theyve poked fun at the concept with bethanys tits. it made sense then that the people telling these stories didnt know much about blood magic therefore they couldnt explain it fully but we've known some things for certain, from the text. blood magic uses blood as its source of power instead of lyrium (blood=life force), what constitutes as blood magic is open to interpretation (i.e phylacteries), multiple groups outside of the 'civilised society' such as chasind are not so staunchly against it, knowledge on it can be passed down from a mentor and that mentor usually happens to be a spirit. it can be used to enact control over people in a literal sense and thats considered by the narrative of all DA games to be more reprehensible than burning someone alive.

now i will derail this but i swear im going somewhere with it. i grew up in a country with majority white people, some blond, most with exposed hair who lived in big cities with cobblestone roads and snowy winters and starbuckses, and who would consider themselves westerners. some religious practices i know less about than most christians know about their holidays.

where my grandma lived was at the bottom of a high slope, and once a year when we went to visit her id see a thick trail of blood trickle down from the waterway to pool on her street, and at that dinner the family (and neighbours, sometimes) would bring a myriad of dishes and we'd feast. i would see butchers shops clean their curbs with buckets of water, mopping red tinted liquid down a drain. when i grew older and we were visiting my mothers village i watched the men subdue and kill a cow that we were going to eat that night. i watched them skin it and separate the meat from its bones, explaining what parts of an animal is used for which dishes because it was their craft and a young girl showed interest. as people we always live with the knowledge that our lives depend on death, whether it be a plant or an animal. existence is not moral and clean, and death is messy. getting blood stains out of a fabric once a month is the lived reality of more than half the human population.

i was not raised religious, nobody in my close family were, i didn't feel any sort of way when those men started to pray around the cow but i knew why they did it, even if it was performative for some, for the rest they had to show respect. the cow was meant to represent somebody you cared about, offering it in their stead symbolically. it needed to be respected, it needed to be butchered without pain. save from one serving of meat, as was tradition, were donated to the food banks.

now im sure some of you are thinking 'no matter how you slice it, its still a brutal act. made more brutal by the audience deriving some form of moral superiority' and yes, i used to think that too, because what is a religious practice for them is a show to me. but it is the norm where i grew up, and in the end a cow is dead regardless because we need to eat. and some people who needed to eat more than us got to eat too.

somewhere in germany news break out that some immigrants were practicing unethical and unsanitary butcherings, you see the footage of men in kufi and puffy pants and women covered completely in black sheets get ushered out by police. they shout some things in a foreign language, speaking the name of their foreign god. they show a censored room covered in blood and gore.

so i have to ask now, when you play veilguard and see venatori torturing and exploding a halla into a puff of red smoke which image does it bring to mind, what do you think of when you hear 'ritual sacrifice'? you may not have noticed this parallel but your brain sure did, as it has been noticing for your entire life and counting, the same reason you cringe at the barbarity of people consuming raw flesh, painting their foreheads with blood, killing animals you would pet. its alien, its gross, its wrong.

i cant play this game and take it seriously with its mask yanked off, gloating about its lack of nuance every step of the way. when you hit people red stuff comes out, red stuff bad. killing bad. murder bad. that it extends more sympathy to a fantasy deer than it ever allows for living breathing people of its universe, faceless and primitive.

in other DA games there were people over there somewhere who enslaved others, built their entire civilization on the ruins of gods they cannot comprehend, practiced bloody sacrifices and rituals that doomed the world for their own power, and even in their homeland they are nothing but canon fodder to be murdered and gawked at. their traditions, religion, entire culture is less than a set dressing, because whatever grosses you out are the bad apples, because the good ones cant be anything else and still derive sympathy from the audience.

and its true, you need to be an exceptional writer to make that work, especially if you dont have any real life experience to pull from. you need to stain your hands a little, and be prepared to be called dirty.

but i see it, i see those news reports everywhere i look in the game, i see the streets being cleaned and scrubbed so the tourists wouldnt call them backwards people, unclean, less than.

ive never played a game so repulsed by and is uninterested in its own universe than DAV, in every line of dialogue i can feel it trembling in fear. my companions tell me i dont need to watch a deer getting butchered, i can look away and proceed to electrocute hundreds of masked men some of whom are talking about comically evil things like patricide.

this has always been a point of contention in the medium of video games as the most prominent way to engage with the world has been through violence, and for me the DA franchise has always managed to tackle this by allowing its main character to be messy. yes, hawke cleaves thru countless faceless raiders but theyre also an illegal immigrant trying to get by with nothing to offer to the world than their violence. warden is deliberately recruited for that same violence, the only purpose of their existence is to fight as theyre made to shed everything else from their old life. and still, still you play these characters as they are allowed to grow, heal, carve out a little space for themselves where they can laugh and joke with their peers. it is juxtaposed to that darkness in their lives that makes those moments precious.

'what is good?' the games asked, and they answered 'doesn't matter, the world can be a better place with them in it'

veilguard asks 'what is good?' and answers 'you are.'

it doesnt matter whether blood magic is bad lore-wise (and that discussion is irrelevant to this decision made by the devs), because it needs to be narratively. like tabloid news the entire premise of the story is built on it. it needs to be inaccessible to and shunned by your party and rook because they need to be 'good' and in contrast, your enemies need to be 'bad'

and like dominoes it retroactively reframes the moral stance of every game in the franchise.

so, yes, i just laughed when i saw that announcement. i didnt know what else to do. but hang on to your knickers because it gets so much worse...

[gemglyph]

I’ll give you all some advice, but first let’s take a walk together through some of my life.

I have some family that was killed in the Holocaust. I did not learn this until recently, but in retrospect I probably should have known.

What I had learned (when I was “old enough” and it was therefore deemed okay to talk about) was that my ashkenazi family narrowly avoided being slaughtered in the Holocaust by escaping to the US before the US closed its borders to jewish refugees.

I have always known since I was little that some of my family are jews from Sicily. They avoided pogroms (jew hunts) by hiding that they’re jewish. This part of my family immigrated (probably actually fled) to the US prior to WWII (or WWI, my family bickers about this. We don’t have records, I guess).

In both instances, they have to hide who they are to protect themselves.

Life happens, jews persist, I’m born.

Elementary school, I’m told by my family I can’t talk about my home life at school. I’m singled out by my peers and bullied for being different. I move states. Go to an entirely different elementary school. I’m singled out and bullied for being different. Jewish. Kids know this word, I know this word, it’s the 2000s, people use jew as a slur. You know that they mean it that way. Because they say it like it’s wrong.

Middle school, I only fit in with the “weird kids”. I have maybe 5 friends.

One of my friends mom is obsessed with taking me to church if I were to attend a sleepover. When I stop spending time over there because she made me uncomfortable, two of my friends confess they’re only around me because they’re trying to convert me to catholicism.

I have 3 friends.

One of my friends say they can’t be around me because it gets them bullied for associating with a jew.

I have 2 friends.

One of my friends moves away.

I have 1 friend.

It takes me being in high school for two years before I actually make any new friends. Some online, some in person. I find a couple more people I connect with and call my friends. I don’t fit in with the rest of my classmates. I’m aggressively bullied by two different groups of classmates. Jew is still used as a slur. People yell “Heil Hitler” at me in the hallway. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve actually seen the Nazi salute in person.

Because “I look jewish enough, people can just tell. It’s a joke”.

Is it? Is it a joke?

2016. I just graduated highschool and I’m in my first week of my first semester of community college. I’m stalked to my car after night class and basically pinned between my car and a big truck. He grabbed my hair and hit my head against my car. This extremely tall man tells me he should beat me to death right now because I’m a disgusting jew. I believe he will.

I’m saved by a stranger who pulls up and makes the man uncomfortable enough that he leaves. In the large truck that had been parked next to me.

I had nothing on me that is “visibly jewish”. He followed me because I look jewish enough to torment. Because I am.

I hate myself for months because I froze. I start paranoia carrying concealed knives and pray I don’t have to use them. I obsess over learning self defense. I’m disabled and not sure I’d actually be able to protect myself. I learn anyway.

2017. I drop out of community college for a few different reasons. I’m stalked on social media. I delete a lot of my accounts.

I find a job. I’m harassed every shift for six months by a supervisor who said he was happy his family was Nazis in Germany. Among many, many other things. Such as gas chamber “jokes”. My manager tells me it was a joke and to not take it too seriously.

I was working at Starbucks.

2018. I’m told that my grandma dying is a good thing because there’s “one less jew in this world”. My grandma was buried in a grave at a local christian church that she attended most her life because that was the only community she had. We never said anything to anyone (it wasn’t safe). This was supposed to be a family friend. This is my grandma’s funeral.

Later I find out that someone stole the things we left at her grave.

2020. I’m working as a pharmacy technician. My coworkers find out I’m jewish and tell me “not to wear anything that could show that because the area isn’t safe” for me. Because I’m jewish.

I stay at this job for a year before returning to school.

2021. I don’t tell anyone, people guess because I “look jewish” and ask me based on appearance. I have found a more accepting community, but I don’t share much. I’ve learned better.

2022. I make it to University. I don’t talk much to classmates, but I make friends.

2023. I talk about religion with a friend at school, they find out I’m jewish. Some people start avoiding me after October. I have said nothing other than mentioning I’m jewish.

2024. I am told, to my face, by a college student, that jews control the United States government, the media, and Hollywood. Citing a major conspiracy theorist. When prompted to consider his sources, he tells me I’m only saying that because I’m jewish.

This list is not exhaustive, but it is exhausting. I’ve faced this shit my entire life and I’m not alone. My story isn’t unique.

It’s nearing the end of 2024. There has been a huge rise in antisemitism/bigotry over the past year. People are doing the same things they have always done. Tormenting jewish people, calling us slurs, telling us to kill ourselves. The list goes on.

The Nazis came for the jews first. Our neighbors turned on us. Other marginalized people we hoped we could rely on threw us out hoping to save themselves. Only for the Nazis to come for them.

First they came for us jews.

They will come for you.

Do something about it.

[strongheartneteyam]

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 7

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: loads of angst, sexual tension, reader apologizes to Neteyam, fluff, Neteyam yearning for reader, physical contact between Neteyam and reader, some humor in Kiri's and Neteyam's interactions, Neteyam and reader miss each other, wounded Neteyam, reader's strong romantic feelings towards Neteyam, jealous reader, Neteyam talks to reader about the na'vi spirituality, reader is slowly starting to trust Neteyam, TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of a deceased family member and reader's feelings about their absence in her life, Neteyam comforting reader. Tell me if there's more, pls.

Again writing in the am... That's one of the only periods of the day I actually have some peace and quiet, so… 🤷🏻‍♀️ what can I say? Your girl does what she can. lol hope y'all enjoy this. Comments would be very appreciated 🤍 ps: there's just so much angst in this damn fanfic that I can never write it without getting emotionally destroyed 🥲 send help

Slightly proofread. There might be some mistakes along the way. I can't do more than that now bc it's past 5 am, I still didn't get any sleep and I'm dying 💀💩 love y'all ❤ bye I'm gonna try to sleep now

Part 6: I tried to hide but I still believe

𓇼

So many questions but I don't ask why

Maybe someday but not tonight

Hush hush, now

Don't you ever say a word of what you ever thought you heard

Don't you ever tell a soul but you know

I tried to hide but I still believe that we were always meant to be

And I can never let you go

No

Hush Hush (Avril Lavigne)

𓇼

You weren't quite sure what to do now. Your heart was pounding as nervousness covered you and there was an ache, a burn inside your chest.

You decided to close your eyes again and pretend to be asleep. You didn't know if Neteyam had noticed you there or not but you were praying he hadn't.

"Brother? Why are you back early?" Kiri questioned as she held a wooden green bead between her index finger and her thumb. All Kiri could think about was "Oh, Great Mother, this is gonna get really awkward really soon."

"Hi to you too!" Neteyam joked and Kiri rolled her eyes at him "I got bitten by an animal. No big deal, though." He tried to calm his sister down when he noticed the concern in her features "But as it was in my arm, I couldn't really go hunting with my friends for at least two days because it's swollen, so… I'm back early. There's no fun in being there for longer if I can't join the hunting competitions with the boys." Neteyam laughed it off but the bite was still hurting in a pungent way that bothered him a lot.

Kiri laughed "Yeah, I see. And I bet grandma was healing you with those herbs that make the wounds burn even more that you hate so much and you couldn't wait to get on your Ikran and fly back here, right?"

Neteyam frowned but he was chuckling too.

"Yeah, you got me." He scratched his head. It was a habit of his. "By the way, can you help me out with the bite, sister?" He asked

Kiri sighed in disappointment "Why didn't you send for Ronal? I'm kinda busy here." She signaled with her head towards her hands that were holding her necklace

"I don't wanna disturb her sleep. She might try to drown me." Both siblings started to laugh "Plus, you're a great healer." Neteyam defended himself and stroked his younger sister's ego

Kiri let out a grunt.

"Ok, then. Sit down and I'll help you."

"Thanks, teylu." He teased

Calling each other "teylu" was Neteyam's and Kiri's favorite way to insult one another. You know, it's a sibling's thing.

"You're the teylu here!" Kiri snapped back but in a playful way "Bothering me in the middle of the eclipse… did you know I have guests? Be quiet, they're asleep." Kiri said in a hushed, low tone as she gathered the medicinal plants she kept in her marui and the water she needed to mush together to make a healing substance and apply on Neteyam's wound

"Who are you talking about?" He chuckled "Is Tsireya and some other friend of yours spending the night here?"

As soon as Neteyam heard your name come out of Kiri's lips, his mouth got dry and he felt his heart skip a beat. Neteyam gritted his teeth, his jaw tensing up. He couldn't believe you were there. He couldn't believe he was gonna see your face again. Neteyam had started to wonder if maybe you had found a way to not come back to his tribe because of your job ever again after your team started to show up there without you multiple times. He didn't know if he should be sad or happy that you were there in his sister's home. To tell the truth, there was a mix of both emotions moving in an agonizing little dance inside his chest. He missed you like crazy and he had been dying to see you again but he knew that as soon as he looked at you again and saw your small frame and smelled your unique scent, he would find it utterly hard to resist taking you in his arms and kissing you. Yes, Neteyam was still hurting a whole lot and he was still a bit angry at you, but, Eywa… he felt like a piece of him was missing ever since you left. The yearning to feel you against his body again was bigger than the wound in his ego. So, Neteyam had to make a big effort to keep himself together and not run to the tiny but hugely beautiful girl he now recognized as being you, sleeping in one of the mats on the floor of his sister's marui. 

Neteyam had no idea you were actually awake and listening to the conversation he had been having for some minutes now with Kiri.

𓇼

Kiri had now taken care of Neteyam's wound. It was on his biceps.

"Damn, it must have hurt a lot… Poor him…" You thought.

You breathed in deeply and breathed out, trying to gather courage to do the next thing. You got up from your mat, your legs carefully avoiding Adeline and Kate, as their bodies were lying right next to where you were lying before. 

You walked towards where Neteyam and Kiri were. She was finishing putting away the healing materials in a straw basket while squatting. 

"Hi." You sheepishly greeted Neteyam "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

His feline yellow eyes lingered on you for a second, like he was trying to find a way to respond, but it was difficult to do so.

"Sure." It was all he could say

Kiri gazed rapidly at the both of you "I'm gonna give you guys some privacy." She could feel what you guys were gonna talk about. 

All of you were keeping your voices down so your conversation wouldn't wake the girls up.

Kiri quickly got out of her marui, leaving you and Neteyam "alone" (Technically, Kate and Adeline were there too, even if they were asleep, nothing could guarantee that they wouldn't wake up).

You sat down next to him on the floor, feeling awkward and guilty.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you that morning after the party. I didn't mean to be. I didn't mean to… I don't know, to be so blunt, to be so… cruel when turning you down. I really am sorry. I understand if you're mad at me. I deserve it." 

"I wasn't mad, I was… hurt." Neteyam admitted 

"You were a little mad." You insist with an awkward smile

"Yeah, my pride was hurt. As I said, at the end of the day, it wasn't anger, it was pain." There really was pain in his face, even now

Damn, now you felt even worse…

"But we can just forget about it. It's in the past now. I accept your apology." Neteyam smiled to hide the part of him that was still screaming at him to ask you once again to be his mate. Maybe this time you'd say "yes"... Damn, who was he kidding? He knew it was just stupid wishful thinking.

"Thanks for being so nice to me even after I was such a jerk to you… You didn't have to forgive me, you know." You gave him a sad smile

"Of course I have to. You deserve it. You deserve so much more." He smiled back, sheepishly 

You sighed internally. Why did he have to always be so nice? That only made your heart hurt more and more for rejecting him that morning after the beach party. But it was for the best. It's better if you and Neteyam share nothing but a friendship. You would never wish to taint him with all the turmoil of negative emotions and traumas you carry around wherever you go.

"So… Can we… be friends?" You asked, fearing the answer that was coming

"Of course, tawtute." Neteyam confirmed as he smiled kindly at you "I'd love to have you as my friend."

A few seconds of some awkward silence later, you tried breaking the ice.

"So… I saw you talking to Munì. How's she doing?" The words left your lips before you realized it, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.

Way to go, (y/n)! Worst possible way ever to break the ice!

Neteyam's hairless eyebrows frowned. 

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her since that morning."

"Really?" There was way more anger slipping out of you than you had anticipated. "I saw the way you two were smiling at each other. You really did not talk to her after that morning?" Why were you questioning him like that? Jesus…

God, you didn't even have the right to be angry! Neteyam wasn't your boyfriend or anything like that. But still, jealousy was eating your insides.

Neteyam laughed at the question, realizing you seemed jealous and bitter about it. But it seemed too good to be true. Did he really still have a chance to win your heart? Eywa knows he would never give up on trying to get you if he knew he had even the slightest of chances with you.

"Tawtute, I was just talking to her. You have to stop assuming things about people!" He smiled at you showing no teeth while shaking his head from side to side, showing you how silly your bad habit was "Actually, I was trying to be nice to her to not break her heart too much because yes, she was flirting with me but I wasn't interested."

You felt blood run to your cheeks.

"But you guys seemed so happy…"

"I was just being nice to her." Neteyam reinforced "I promise. Do you trust me?" He asked gently 

Unfortunately, the first instinct that came to your head was "Don't believe him. He's lying to you. You saw what you saw." but this time you were able to actually think a little more, be a little more rational and wonder "What did I actually see? Neteyam was really just talking to Munì. I didn't see him touching her or kissing her or anything. OK, she was smiling and clearly flirting with him, but that doesn't matter. Just because she was trying to charm him, it doesn't mean he was being charmed by her. All I saw was him treating her nicely and smiling at her and Neteyam is usually nice to everyone. He's right… I should trust more freely."

You looked at Neteyam and breathed deep.

"I do." You gave him a coy smile and he smiled back, this time revealing his big sharp fangs to you as his lips parted.

Damn, why was he so freaking hot? Ugh!

𓇼

After some time spent talking to each other, Neteyam took something out of a small dark brown pouch bag.

"I made this for Tuk" Neteyam said, holding an oblong piece of wood with an image of a Viperwolf (or a Nantang, in na'vi) carved in it. "She loves Nantangs."

"It's beautiful. You're talented." You smiled at him

"Thanks." Neteyam smiled back, his golden eyes squinting slightly at you 

The gift Neteyam had made for Tuk reminded you of the gifts you and Tracy would give each other. You used to make colorful bead bracelets and give them to her. She would get so happy and smile widely at you. Your heart would feel warm. After she grew up a bit and wasn't a small toddler anymore, she started to make you some and give them to you too. It became a sisterly tradition for the both of you.

God, how you missed her… Your chest started to hurt and a lump was now in your throat, making it harder to breathe.

Neteyam noticed.

"Are you OK?" He asked, concern all over his beautiful features 

You started telling Neteyam how your little sister had died in the car accident. You finally let your defenses down to the point that now you felt comfortable to tell him not just that but also how you felt agonizingly alone and lost after her passing, as you both had a strong, pure bond. Tracy used to be your best friend.

"I loved being her big sister, giving her advice and taking care of her. I miss all the nights we would stay up eating candy and watching stupid teenage movies because she loved them so much." You reminisced through tears

Neteyam related deeply to you, on how it felt good to be the older sibling. All he could do was thank Eywa that he still had all his siblings alive, safe and sound. Thinking about losing little Tuk, Lo'ak or Kiri like you lost Tracy made his chest hurt profusely. He could only imagine your pain. He knew he could never actually know how much it must have broken you in pieces to see your little sister for the last time, paler, no longer breathing, but he felt so, so much empathy towards you.

All Neteyam wanted to do was hold you tight and make all your pain go away. He knew he couldn't get rid of all your sorrows but he would surely make his biggest effort to fight away all the demons he would be able to. 

"Eywa, (y/n)... I'm so, so sorry about that. I can only imagine how much you must miss her. I know I would if I lost any of my siblings…" Just the thought of that made his chest hurt a little bit "You know, my people have a saying about death: All energy is only borrowed, and one day you have to give it back. I don't know if it gives you any comfort but I think it's a good way to view the passing. It's not the end. Your sister's body helped plants grow on the ground she was buried in, did you know that? A part of her still lives inside the leaves or the flowers or the grass there. I'm assuming Earth's ground works like Pandora's ground does." He chuckled slightly, trying not to seem disrespectful 

"Neteyam, that's actually… really comforting. And beautiful. Thank you so much." You smiled at him and felt an urge to touch his hand to show him your gratitude but you thought it was better not to do it.

Eventually you fell asleep, back against the marui's wall. Neteyam carried you to your mat in his arms, carefully, just so he wouldn't wake you up, even though you seemed to be in deep sleep. He softly laid you down on your mat and felt the urge to kiss you goodnight but he knew he couldn't. And it broke his heart not to do it because he loved you with all his body and soul.

Neteyam quickly left Kiri's marui and headed to his family's home, trying hard to forget your beautiful sleeping face all the way until he got there, trying hard to forget your unique and addictive scent, the way your lips felt just like the inside of a rose when you both had kissed, the way it felt to mate with you and feel your soft human skin against his… It didn't matter how much he tried, he would never be able to forget you. Your name was tattooed on his heart.

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003

@lala-1516

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

[lucagray813]

The Tang Chronicles - Chapter 3

Rating: T

Word Count: ~2,613

Characters: Tang, Pigsy, MK, Pigsy's Grandmother

Summary: Raising a kid isn't easy even when they were planned. Pigsy's just holding out hope that this is only a temporary situation.

Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Pre-Canon, Pigsy's Grandmother is called Xiùyīng

CW: brief mention of ACEs, fantasy racism, internalised racism, swearing, implied difficult childhood, poor mental health

Link to AO3 Version

Chapter Navigation: First | Prev | Next

----

Today it felt like Pigsy's name was on everybody's lips - regular customers, delivery drivers, neighbours, Xiùyīng and, of course-

"Pigsy, look at this!"

"Pigsy, can I have this?"

"Pigsy, I'm hungry!"

Pigsy, Pigsy, Pigsy.

And the man in question looked like he was ready to snap. His head was in his hands as he leaned on the opposite side of the counter to where Tang was sitting.

It had been a busy lunch rush but, for whatever reason, the restaurant was still empty half an hour after it had opened for dinner and Pigsy seemed to be making the most of the lull to try and pull himself back from the brink of a mental breakdown.

Cautiously, he cleared his throat, "You doing ok there...?"

Taking a ragged breath in, Pigsy looked up, "I am going to kill the next person that says my name."

"Pigsy!"

MK's timing would have been comical, if Pigsy hadn't looked like he was genuinely going to burst into tears. As MK made his way over from the staff door, he made an effort to get a hold of himself, looking to the world like he was praying for a half a second, before turning around to greet MK with a mask of patience that was already splintering.

"What is it, kid?"

MK, completely oblivious to Pigsy's distress, held up the toy in his hand, "Mr. Hotman got stuck in his house again."

By the look on Pigsy's face, he was guessing this wasn't just the second or third time this had happened and his voice was strained as he asked, "And grandma couldn't get him out?"

Tang cringed as MK just held up the toy blithely, "I like when you do it."

Pigsy breathed slowly, in through his nose and out through his mouth, before doing his best to gently lecture, "MK, we talked about this. You need to ask grandma first when I'm working, even if the restaurant isn't busy, you can't distract me while I'm in the kitchen, it's dangerous."

MK held the toy close to his chest, despite looking upset at being chided he still argued, "But grandma's too rough! She almost took his head off last time!"

Pigsy sighed and knelt down, holding a hand for the toy, and once he had it he bargained, "I'll get him out this time but this is the last time. You either have to ask grandma or stop putting him in here, ok?"

MK frowned, "But that's his home."

Pigsy held up the toy as if to demonstrate, "It's too small for him, kid. Don't you think he would like a home that he doesn't get stuck in every day?"

MK fiddled with the bottom of his shirt as he looked away, "Maybe..."

Sighing again, Pigsy heroically freed Mr. Hotman from his home, and as he offered them back to MK he suggested, "How about you try and find a new home for him and you can show it to me tonight? Hell, I bet you could even make him a house with all that cardboard upstairs. What do you think?"

MK's eyes lit up at the possibility as he asked excitedly, "Can I use all the cardboard?"

Pigsy shrugged, "Knock yourself out. If you ask grandma you can even get your paints out to decorate it."

MK held up his toy, "You hear that, Mr. Hotman? We're going to build you a mansion!"

Pigsy looked like he was already dreading the mess that he was going to deal with after work but he clasped MK's shoulder before standing up, "Better get to it then. Make sure to tell grandma before you start pulling out all the cardboard, ok?"

MK was already halfway to the staff door, "I will!"

A pointed cough had him hastily adding, "Thank you, Pigsy! Mr. Hotman says thank you too!"

As the staff door swung shut behind him, he heard the thundering sound of him running up the stairs, and an excited shout of "Grandma!" before blessed silence reigned again.

Somewhat impressed, he couldn't help but comment, "Way to keep your cool, Pigsy! I think I would have flipped out if that had been me! How many times has he got that thing stuck?"

He was met with Pigsy's silent back, "Er, Pigsy...?"

He took another one of those slow breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth, before turning and grabbing a piece of paper from under the till. As he wrote on it, he explained, "I need a minute. If anyone asks, I had to go to the shop. Tell them I needed more garlic or something."

"O-oh. Yeah, of course. You ok...?"

He didn't know if the grunt he got in response was an affirmative or a negative but he watched worriedly as Pigsy walked towards the door and stuck the makeshift sign on the glass, before he offered a gruff thanks and walked out.

Feeling uncomfortable, he drummed his fingers on the counter.

Casting a glance up towards the ceiling he worried about the stress Pigsy was under - did he even have days off anymore? Sure, the restaurant was still shut twice a week but did Pigsy actually get to take a break?

He wondered how much Xiùyīng was doing.

Sure, she watched MK while Pigsy worked but Pigsy seemed to be doing a lot of the actual labour and she still seemed to have a lot going on during those days off - meeting up with friends and going out, and getting a break from babysitting.

Did Pigsy get that chance?

He had a terrible feeling that he didn't.

Pigsy returned about twenty minutes later, looking a little calmer and smelling suspiciously like mint.

He had half a mind to raise his concerns but by the time he'd worked up the nerve, business had started picking back up and he never got the chance.

----

Tang was aware that he hadn't been a great friend recently, willingly spending much more time away from Pigsy's Noodles than he usually did. And though his excuses of looming deadlines weren't untrue, the truth of the matter was that Pigsy was just hard to be around at the moment.

He was exceedingly grumpy and short-tempered, and if there was any conversation between them it was often awkward and one-sided. He really felt like he needed to say something but a little shamefully, his cowardice was apparently stronger than his concern.

Well, today might be the day that the scales tipped however because Pigsy had been staring eerily at the flame on the hob for an uncomfortable amount of time and he startled terribly when Tang had called his name.

Pigsy had apologised and, full of jittery energy, told him he'd be over after he finished the order he was working on. He watched him for a moment before glancing down at his bag.

Fāng's number felt like it was burning a hole through it.

He wasn't worried about MK yet.

But Pigsy...

Pigsy seemed to sense that the conversation they'd apparently both been dreading was upon them, and he walked over to him looking defeated and ashamed.

He didn't even know where to start, "Pigsy..."

Pigsy leaned heavily on the counter, "I know."

And yet, he had to say it, "You can't keep this up."

He slumped forward as he rubbed at his face, "I know. Look, I'm sorry for how shitty I've been acting lately. It just these fucking foster parent assessments. They're keeping me up at night. If I could just get a decent night's sleep..."

He frowned, "You're that stressed out over passing some tests?"

As far as he knew, he hadn't had this problem when he was studying before but he supposed the stakes were much higher than a qualification.

Pigsy shook his head, "I can pass the tests, they're not hard but the stuff you need to learn about... Tang, it's grim. It's real fucking grim. They call them ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences, and it's honestly giving me nightmares."

He didn't want to know and he was sure his face was all but screaming at Pigsy to spare him the details.

Which thankfully he did, as he added, "Doesn't help that I'm sleeping on the couch."

Shocked, he responded, "You're sleeping on the couch? Why? For how long?"

Tiredly, he answered, "Only got two bedrooms. The kid needed somewhere to sleep and I can't exactly kick my grandma out of her bed, can I? We do have a spare futon but that ratty, old thing is worse than the couch."

Horrified, he exclaimed, "So you've been on the couch since MK got here? Pigsy, why didn't you say something! Mǐnyǒng's parent have a spare futon! I'll get him to bring it over as soon as he's out of class!"

Pigsy put up a token protest, "No, don't bother his folks over it. I'll be fine, it won't be for that much longer. They'll find a better place for the kid any day now."

He resisted the urge to cringe.

Is that what Pigsy had been telling himself?

There was no part of him that believed MK was going anywhere, anytime soon. And while that was mostly just his gut talking, he couldn't help but feel that if MK's family was really out there looking for him then they would have heard something by now.

He decided that wasn't what Pigsy needed to hear right now though and picked up his phone to message Mǐnyǒng, "It doesn't matter if you get news tomorrow. You're not spending another night on the couch when there's a perfectly good futon available just gathering dust."

Mǐnyǒng was, of course, up to date on the MK situation and within seconds had promised to deliver the futon to Pigsy's ASAP.

"Ok, he's on it. It'll be here tonight. Is there anything else we can do to help? You know he's good for any DIY - any leaky pipes or broken furniture?"

Pigsy huffed, a hint of fondness in his eyes, "Good of you to offer his services. You know I'm not shy about asking for his help with repairs. The futon is more than enough." His expression softened, "Thanks, Tang."

With no small amount of guilt, he responded, "What are friends for?"

----

It was a couple days later that he got a chance to talk to Xiùyīng about it, while she was waiting for Pigsy to put together some snacks for her to take up for her and MK.

Curious, he'd asked her if she was also having to study and do any assessments as part of the process of fostering MK. Completely missing Pigsy's panicked gesturing to stop until it was far too late but, as ever, she was very forthcoming.

The conversation had started fairly normally as she explained that she was indeed having to put in a bit of work but he quickly realised why Pigsy's face had been full of apprehension.

"Oh, it's terrible, Mr. Tang. I never realised before just how fragile humans really are!"

He laughed a little awkwardly, not quite sure what she meant, "Uh, yeah, I suppose we are?"

Oblivious to his discomfort, she continued, "All of these "mental health" conditions! It's a wonder your kind can get anything done!"

He cast a glance towards Pigsy, who unfortunately had his back to them as he cooked, but he was definitely listening and given the tension in his shoulders he didn't like what he was hearing.

Tang couldn't help but frown as he responded, "Mental health isn't just a human thing, demons can suffer from all the same conditions we can."

And he knew that for a fact, the demon population in the city wasn't huge but it was big enough that he'd seen plenty of posters around his university advertising counselling specifically targeted at demons.

Also, could she not see how stressed her grandson was twenty-four/seven?

Actually, now that he thought about it, maybe he should try and get some of those counselling details for Pigsy? He could probably do with at least having someone to properly vent to.

He made a mental note to check it out later.

She tutted, "Don't buy into that nonsense. That's just what lazy, young demons are trying to convince people of because they're afraid of a little hard work. It's shameful."

Oh.

Oh no.

As if Pigsy wasn't under enough stress! This was the sort of support he had at home?

Getting a little worked up, he felt compelled to make her see reason, "It's not nonsense. There's plenty of evidence that demons suffer from mental health conditions, and at a higher rate than humans in some areas. You've been learning about ACEs, right? Well, demons have them too, don't they?"

She waved her hand dismissively, "Those are just childhood experiences for a demon, dear. They toughen us up, not make us "mentally ill"."

For a moment, he could only stare at her.

Did she even comprehend how unbelievably fucking sad what she'd just said was?

Before he could respond however, he was startled by a tray of food being all but slammed down beside him.

Pigsy's fury was palpable and, in what he assumed was Megopolis's city language, snapped at his grandmother as he pushed the tray towards her.

Clearly displeased with his tone, she responded back in the same language.

It was a short exchange that ended with Xiùyīng huffing angrily as she swiped the tray from the counter. Standing tall and prim, she switched back to Mandarin and addressed him, "Apologies, Mr. Tang. My grandson apparently doesn't think this discussion is "appropriate" so I will be heading back up stairs. Please forgive such rude behaviour."

Her tone suggested it was Pigsy's "rude behaviour", not hers.

She bowed shortly and didn't wait for a response before heading for the staff door and disappearing.

Pigsy glared after her before turning away to angrily tidy up after himself, "Don't fucking listen to anything she has to say about humans and demons. She doesn't know what she's talking about."

Admittedly, he was still a little annoyed about the whole exchange but it was driven by the fact that he was angry and upset on Pigsy's behalf, "I don't understand how she could possibly believe that mental health is just a human thing! Just look at all the evidence!"

Pigsy huffed, "For MK's sake, just be glad that she knows it is a thing, at least. I couldn't have let him stay here otherwise."

"Yeah, no kidding... But what about you?"

Pigsy turned around and raised an eyebrow, "What about me?"

He faltered slightly, "Er, y'know, what if one day you're not doing too good? Mentally, that is?"

Very clearly being sarcastic, Pigsy responded, "Me? I'm the picture of good mental health. What are you talking about?"

He couldn't help but frown, "Not funny."

Pigsy sighed, "No, it's not. But don't let yourself get bent out of shape about it. I can handle her."

He could hear the unspoken, "Don't get involved." and begrudgingly he would have to accept it for now. It's not like he was well qualified enough to really weigh in anyway.

"Fine. But if you ever need to get any frustrations off your chest about you know who then I'm all ears."

Pigsy managed a smile, "Why else do you think I keep you around?"

The conversation moved on.

But the interaction weighed on him.

Xiùyīng said ACEs were a part of every demon's life and as he watched Pigsy get ready for the dinner rush, he couldn't help but frown as he wondered what that had meant for Pigsy.

--Chapter End--

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LMK Fanfic Masterlist

[eiderducksonofhumperdink]

Part 2 of my DuckTales (87) fanfic

“I need a break,” says Donald, while Launchpad sprints back to the plane. “I'm on leave from the Navy anyway, you can imagine that I just don't have the nerve for this crap anymore.” “I can only imagine that you're looking for the usual excuses, nephew,” grumbles Scrooge and shrugs his shoulders. “Well, coins would be polished enough.” Donald breathes a sigh of relief. But not for long. “You're helping Launchpad with a test flight! You can learn a lot from him, believe me!”

“Greetings, Mr. McQuack,” sighs Donald. “Is your plane ready?” “Sure,” nods Launchpad. “But I have to say, Mr. Duck, you usually look just as, well, dirty as your uncle. Must run in the family.” “Thanks,” grumbles Donald. “Well, you do your job somehow,” laughs Launchpad. “That's nothing to be embarrassed about. Believe me, you are perfect the way you are, not the way others are. "Yes, thank you, that's nice," Donald murmurs. But he still doesn't really like him, this pelican. Muscles, a foot taller, always nice and in a good mood and, even worse, he wears shoes.

"Tell me, Donald," says Launchpad as he climbs up the ladder, "don't you think old planes are great?" "Hm, yes," Donald can't deny, "I've just never been allowed to fly myself. Only boring helicopters." "Yeah, that's nothing," nods Launchpad. "This is my life. It also shows that you can do great things in life with, well, not so great grades at school." "Then you're no different from me," Donald admits, "but I've had so many jobs in the last few years that I can't count them anymore. I'm glad I'm in the Navy." “Yes, you can tell,” nods Launchpad. “I, on the other hand, am glad that I left school so long ago. I got A’s in everything, except for PE.” “Don’t tell me,” says Donald, choking as he sits down in the co-pilot’s seat. “That was my favorite subject. I had to repeat a year twice because of that crap.” “Me too,” sighs Launchpad, starting the engine. “Oh yeah, music wasn’t so bad either. My father used to play the saxophone in a band, and I learned that too.” “Ah, OK,” admits Donald, watching Launchpad’s actions with interest. “I learned to play the guitar from my grandpa at a very early age, which grandma thought was pretty good. Uncle Scrooge less so, but he liked my twin sister Della better anyway. Well, I was a freak anyway. I still am today, I still have the guitar from back then. Maybe the nephews want to learn too. You know Huey, Dewey and Louie, right?” “Sure,” grins Launchpad. “They really like me too. I hope you’re buckled up.” “Oh yes,” says Donald, looking at Launchpad’s seat. “You’d better buckle yourself up too.” Launchpad just grins, but he doesn’t feel like it this time. Is he already that forgetful? Oh dear…

“Well,” changes the subject again. “That band wasn’t bad actually. My dad played there too when he was on the ground, but when my little sister Loopey was born he quit and concentrated only on flying. As well as the saxophone I also learned the piano and accordion. I even made a bit of money that way.” “Really?” Donald raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, Mom gave me a dollar everytime I finally stopped playing.” Donald laughs. “Well, then I can only pray that I never have to play you…”

Then the laughter quickly stops. It is also drowned out by the engines. They take off into the skies! And it happens as it must. Launchpad misses the opening and tears down the roof of the hangar. Donald sighs. What has he gotten himself into?

After taking a deep breath the plane is over Duckburg and circling the money bin. “What do you say, Donald?” asks . “It’s nice here, isn’t it?” “Nice, but next time with a different pilot,” complains Donald. “Right at the start you almost killed us both! You really are a crash pilot!” “Yes, that’s what everyone calls me,” laughs Launchpad. “But now you should enjoy the view.” “Mate, we’re not here for fun,” replies Donald seriously. “Uncle Scrooge asked me to analyze the plane. Well, I’ll show him how much I’m worth.” “Yes, I know the doubts,” says Launchpad, now a little more serious. “I always felt loved by my parents, but they still try to find fault with me. They were always complaining that I wasn’t intelligent enough or that I was dangerous. But well, everyone is different, at least the complaints were never aggressive or anything like that, everything was peaceful. I don’t know if I’ll ever have children, but what I would avoid is shouting, but I would definitely be more honest than my parents, I would praise when there was something to praise, and when I was disappointed, I would say so without sugarcoating it. Good relationships and understanding are both important.” “Yes, I really agree with you…” admits Donald quite calmly, only to change his tone again. “YOU MORON, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?!?!? WE ALMOST GOT HIT.” “Yes, I've been put down a lot in life,” sighs Launchpad. “It hurts a bit, but oh well.” “It's still better than falling apart!” complains Donald. Launchpad doesn't let that put him off. “Well, despite everything, I'm still in contact with my parents. They're colleagues, and despite all the difficulties, I'm not like that. I hope they become grandparents in their lifetime, that would be nice.” He lowers the altitude. “What about your parents, actually?” “Well, the good thing was that there was less moaning and swearing,” says Donald. “But unfortunately I didn't feel loved. I was more at home with Dad's mother, Grandma Elvira. Whenever I saw them, Mom and Dad were always arguing. They never hugged me, that didn't happen.” “Not even a goodnight kiss?” asks Launchpad, astonished. Donald shakes his head. “I also went to see my Uncle Eider, Dad's big brother. He wasn't bad and I learned to bake cakes from him, but he was always making jokes that nobody found funny. Unfortunately, his son Fethry learned this attitude from him. I don't know if I can really enjoy my family.”

Launchpad now seems a little dejected. Yes, you should be happy sometimes. You don't have a choice. He also had difficulties that he had to overcome. “Do you have any nephews?” asks Donald. “No, you don't, and no niece either,” mumbles Launchpad. He is not like the typical Duckburg resident who has to be an uncle or nephew! “I'd like to have children before I'm too old. As old as you, maybe...” “Launchpad!” Donald is definitely not joking. “The nerve! I'm not even thirty!” “But close,” grins Launchpad. “Although, I’m already over it. But just barely. But I don’t think you’re any younger. How old are you really?” “A year older than my last birthday,” grumbles Donald. “But still young.” “But old enough that you have children who are about nine years old,” says Launchpad triumphantly. “They’re my nephews.” “Your twin sister’s children. And she was born after you, wasn’t she?” “Yes, 13 minutes or so…”

Maths! That’s too much for Launchpad. He’s up there, and it’s OK to be scared, it’s a queasy feeling, but not for Launchpad. He’s not scared of anything, but math… no! He glances at Donald’s pad. “How do you deal with numbers?” “Well,” says Donald somewhat dishonestly, “I’ll manage somehow, anything is doable.” This answer doesn’t convince the pilot. Donald admits defeat. “I'd say I'll pretend the whole thing is... GUY, BE CAREFUL!!!”

When things have calmed down again and the flight is coming to an end, Donald has another question. “Do you know Della?” “She's Huey, Dewey and Louie's mother, right?” “Yes, my little sister. Unfortunately, she was completely missing for nine years.” Donald's eyes moisten. “I shouldn't have let her into space.” Launchpad puts his right hand on Donald's shoulder while he steers the plane with his left hand, even though he's right-handed. “How's it going with love? Not much with me, although I've looked at a woman in the gym sometimes. No wonder with my body, but with you...” Donald looks grim again. “Daisy is the same as always. No different from how your family is with you, just much more dishonest. Accuses me of constantly having outbursts of anger. Is that true!?” He looks even grimmer. What would Daisy say if she were there. Launchpad tries to suppress a laugh. "No, it's fine. I think you need to fly more often. It's therapy for children, but since we're, well, about the same age and I'm definitely still a child at heart, I'm sure you can be too." "You're right again," Donald admits. But should he really fly again soon? Shouldn't he ask the Navy to release him from his vacation?

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I am so sorry but now I feel compelled to infodump to you about some of my favourite plushies akskkdkdkfkt, enjoy the rant (these are in no particular order)

Caitlyn the Fennec Fox

I absolutely LOVED fennec foxes when I was in primary school. I went to a religious school and every morning when we did prayers, I prayed for the fennec foxes 😅

Anyway, my childhood best friend and I both have one of these and I love Caitlyn so much!! She's also named after my sister who unfortunately died when she was only a few days old, so this stuffed toy has even more significance to me.

Snorlax (Squishmallow)

Snorlax is my go to for cuddles, especially when my chronic pain or fatigue is really bad. He's really good to cuddle with and squeeze, I absolutely love the sensoryness of squishmallows!! (I'm not sure what size he exactly is but he's one of the bigger ones but not the biggest)

Storm the Husky

I got Storm for my birthday when I was nine because I was obsessed with Huskies and really wanted one (I no longer really want one, a labrador is enough energy for me lol). I also used to take him around with me a lot while I was waiting to get my assistance dog!!

Lemonade (Webkinz Alley Cat)

Lemonade has LORE. She's a really famous movie star who used to be really self-centred but ended up learning to care about others. I used to put her in all the silly iMovies I would make as a kid. I also did have her in Webkinz and I am SO mad I don't remember the account login anymore, I had SO much stuff!! Also the Webkinz song for the alley cat when it was pet of the month is an absolute BANGER.

Joanne the Axolotl (Build-A-Bear)

I got Jo recently after I convinced myself I wasn't too old for Build-A-Bear haha!! I named her after Jo Davidson from Line of Duty, my current fictional wife, and was so happy when I saw the pride shirt because Jo Davidson is canonically a lesbian!! She is now the chosen one who comes with me on trips!!

Lamby

Lamby is my childhood teddy and he still sleeps with me all these years later. I got him when I was nine months old from my grandma at Easter cause I wasn't old enough for chocolate. Funnily enough, he was actually from Woolworths (a popular supermarket in Australia), so thank you Woolworths 🫡

He used to have a bowtie which has just ✨ evaporated ✨ and a lot of his stuffing has magically disappeared too but I still love him with my whole heart!!

sorry it took me so long to answer this but NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR INFODUMPING !!!!!!!!!! omg i LOVE ALL OF THEM SO MUCH

I love how they have that beautiful scrungly 'well loved' look to them - that is how my 24 year old teddy bear that I sleep with every single night looks. also THE WEBKINZ !!!!!!!!!!!! I only have one remaining Wenkinz from my childhood - it's a Llama, and I SO BADLY want to get a green had made for him so that he can be a Llama with Hats character, because that meme still fucking matters to me for some dumb reason

I love all these so much. I loved having them visit my inbox. I also love the BaB so much omg <33333 I LOVE THEM

[ga-yuu]

Angels, Demons and Jewels of Love ~ THE NINE CURSED MARKS

Sneak Peak of the PROLOGUE ~ Introduction of MC

When someone gives a piece of jewellery to a loved one.

Both the recipient and the giver are blessed and glorified by those around them.

The road ahead for those two was sure to be full of light-----

MC: "Welcome. Please feel free to look around."

This is the jewellery department in the Lunaschente department store.

Jewellery, a symbol of happiness.

I am proud to be in the business of selling it.

(Giving a piece of jewellery to a loved one...)

(I hope one day I will have the opportunity to do so as well...)

Male customer: "Excuse me?"

While polishing a glass case at the counter, a couple approached me.

MC: "Yes. How can I help you?"

Female customer: "I want to buy a necklace, but I can't make up my mind...."

The couple, who are probably in their 20s is already wearing matching rings.

MC: "I'll be happy to recommend you some necklaces that would suit you both."

Female customer: "Wow. Thank you! ......Ah! Miss."

MC: "Yes?"

Female customer: "The brooch on your chest is so beautiful."

Female customer: "Is that a product here?"

MC: "Oh no no.....this one is my personal belonging."

Female customer: "Oh really!?"

After glancing at the brooch I always wear,

I turned to the couple and started showing our products with a smile.

(It was this 'brooch' that made me fall in love with jewellery itself)

This 'brooch' was brought from a jeweller in my grandparents' generation and passed on to my mother.

When I turned 20, my parents gave it to me as a birthday present.

(This 'brooch' has the power to make wishes come true)

(Is what my grandma used to say)

(I don't believe in such magic but....)

Still, I held onto it and always wore it as a lucky charm.

Female customer: "Ah! I love this one! The design and the colour of the gemstones are so beautiful."

Male customer: "If you like it, then let's buy that.....excuse me, Miss?"

(I believe that every piece of jewellery has the power to make people happy)

MC: "Thank you for your purchase."

MC: "I wish you both all the happiness in the world."

The couple who purchased the necklaces looked very happy from behind.

(The path you two are on must be filled with happiness...)

..........

On my way home.

(Today is late than usual)

I was walking down a somewhat unsafe road, which I would never normally choose.

(This road is darker than I thought, but it's a shortcut to get home faster)

While praying for nothing to go wrong, and fast-tracking my way, when I turned around the corner.

Thug: "Coming home from work? I've seen you somewhere. You're the woman from that department store, right?"

A man in dirty clothes, reeks of alcohol.

My path was blocked by the man with an unpleasant aura and I can't help but look away.

MC: "Please move..."

I unconsciously held my bag in my arms as if to protect myself and the man grinned.

Thug: "You have that nice brooch, right? How much is it?"

MC: "It's a gift from my parents....it's not for sale..."

Thug: "Really? Can I see it?"

MC: "Hey! Let go!"

As I was trying to shake off his tight grip.

Suddenly the thug in front of me was blown away by some force.

??? (Stephen): "........Tch, how unsightly."

(....Wha? W-What was that?)

A tall man emerges from the darkness and looked like he simply punched the guy.

MC: "T-Thank you very much...."

But my saviour takes one look at me and sighs.

??? (Stephen): ".....*sighs* He who has no desire to live in dark places..."

??? (Stephen): "Must not sneak into one."

His eyes seemed to say that I asked to be attacked.

He shooes me away and disappeared into the darkness, while dragging the thug with him.

(....At least, my brooch is safe)

Just in case, I took off my brooch and kept it my bag.

??? (Gabriel): ".....Hey you!"

I hear another voice and looked up to another strange man appearing before me.

??? (Gabriel): "I'm looking for a man. Have you seen anyone around here?"

??? (Gabriel): "Maybe a dirty drunkard, who doesn't seem to have anything to with noble-looking man like me."

MC: "Oh. I just saw another man taking him away. Just now, over there."

??? (Gabriel): "Hmmm...I see...."

When I pointed at the direction into the darkness, where the two of them disappeared, the 3rd man went into the darkness without giving me a second glance.

??? (Gabriel): "This country is still in such a dark place...."

The only words heard were grunts that were not directed at anyone.

(....Is he a police officer or something? He has a strangely scary atmosphere)

Some of the main streets in this country have developed spectacularly such as the department stores where I work.

But one step into the back alleys and one will find remnants of the 'darkness' of a previous era.

I decided to turn around to escape and take the well-lit road back.

I thought I'd made up my mind not to go near that alleyway again------

Sneak Peek of the PROLOGUE ~ The two mafia gang

The members of Sheol stood behind me and the members of Elysium stood in front of me.

Surrounded by the two mafia gang, I was panicking and had no way of escape.

(Is there nothing I can do right now.......?)

How should I protect the brooch in such a desperate situation?

Mikhail: "Hey boss, there's a report."

One of the Elysium members looked impatient and calls out to Mr. Gabriel.

Gabriel: "Hmm, okay..."

After nodding a several times, Mr. Gabriel then looks at me.

His usual mocking smile is slapped on his face.

Gabriel: "The brooch isn't in your room....."

Gabriel: "Which means, you have it with you right now. Am I correct?"

(.....You searched my house!?)

There was no words for how insolent it is.

(What should I do now....!? They'll find out soon.....)

Without paying attention to my shocked expression, Mr. Gabriel continued talking.

Gabriel: "From now on, Elysium will take custody of you."

Gabriel: "Oswal."

Oswal: "Yes. Come here, miss."

Mr. Gabriel gave orders while looking at me.

Then a man named Oswal approached me.

MC: "Don't come near me....!"

Stephen: ".....Is that what you call 'justice'? Searching civilians' houses?"

Gabriel: "It takes a lot of heavy-handedness to do the right thing, sometimes."

With me in between, the mafia bosses glared at each other.

Stephen: "I was on my way to get the jewel...."

Stephen: "But, shall we end this long-running feud now?"

Gabriel: "Haa....sure, why not? We're going to win anyways."

Stephen: "Keep saying that. I'll make you regret your words."

Gabriel: "Sure sure.....keep dreaming."

Mr. Gabriel also looked ready to fight Mr. Stephen's provocation.

Marcus: "Boss, I'm always ready to go!"

Berhard: ".....I let you get away with it earlier, but I'm going to get you this time."

Mikhail: "Where does your confidence come from, Berhard?"

Raphael: "You're so belligerent. I don't really care either way to be honest."

Oswal: "....Stephen had made it harder for us to get close to her."

The story starts progressing in a strange direction.

For them, this probably a normal thing.

(Everyone here is serious.....even if it means committing a murder)

(If that's the case, I will never give my precious brooch to them!)

(I will protect this brooch....!)

I tightly gripped the brooch inside my pocket, strongly wishing for it.

Suddenly, a strong light overflows from inside my pocket.

Stephen: "What the...!?"

Gabriel: "That light....Quick! Somebody take the brooch from her!"

At Gabriel's command, Oswal and the others extended their arms towards me.

Marcus: "That's ours...!"

Marcus and the other members of Sheol also reached out to me.

However, the light grew stronger and stronger, not only enveloping me but also my surroundings.

[zaxal]

i had a long overdue talk with my mother about how she and my father hurt me when i visited them for my grandma's funeral and they

refused to use my name in private, waiting until i was off the plane 1k miles away from home to tell me it was 'too much' and that they weren't even going to try after i intimated that hearing my old name hurt.

waited until the dead of night when i had no means of escaping to start preaching to me about how worried they were about my soul, talking over my attempts to tell them that i still follow their fucking religion and trying to make me responsible for their sudden anxiety that i was going to hell

and instead of engaging with any of that

i should be grateful they aren't as bad as they could be.

she never said she wouldn't use my name during the visit for the funeral, she just forgot (reader, she did. they told me while we were still in the fucking airport that they were not going to do it, they weren't going to even try.)

dad's never going to use my name bc he picked my birth name so i need to decide what's more important: a name or a relationship with my father.

it's just SO hard to use a new name for me and she's TRYING and she doesn't even REALIZE and then she messes up and i get so MAD about it (she admits she doesn't practice at home, only when she talks to me. i've reminded them, but never shouted at them, never reminded them in front of people, never humiliated them about it, never been fucking assertive, and that's my goddamn bad because maybe shame would yield progress. i get hurt and close off because making the effort for me isn't worth it to either of them. apparently this is offensive. i should just accept it.)

"getting mad at us for using [deadname] would be like us being offended that everyone up there calls you zax" except for the part that it's what i want. it makes me feel seen and loved and accepted and cared for. it's not the fucking same at all.

i need to "accept [my] piece in all of this" which she didn't elaborate on at all but ig i'm to blame somehow bc of course i am.

and all of this started bc she started telling me that she and dad didn't raise me right. they should have had me be more involved in the church, should have had me reading the bible more, should have made Sure i was praying, etc etc etc and i have no idea how she wants me to sit there and listen to her say this and pretend she's not saying "if we'd been better christians you wouldn't be trans" like literally go to the hell i don't believe in.

[khaoala]

Ok so we are in agreement that may definitely knows that ai-oon is not oom right? Like even if she somehow managed to avoid seeing the news of the accident our girl oon is NOT doing well acting like someone may has/had been dating lol.

But also I love them so i am more than willing to turn a blind eye to all the sus behavior 😆

ALSO we finally got PhimPang and they are ICE COLD!! I wanted to like Pang soo much because of ciize but Pang is the WORST! I was so mad when she pull oon away from may so that she could basically make sure that May was blind. WHO DOES THAT!? 🤬🤬🤬 i know we’re only on ep 2 but at this point i am all for PhimJan!

Really i am praying to the GL gods for a true triangle! Give me PhimPangJan or give me death!

AND ANOTHER THING that grandma is on thin ice

Ok what else….planetarium dates was adorbs and the the cockroach scene had me dying 😭

-🤫

miss famous lawyer who's studying to enhance human rights and went to a meeting in geneva to create a roadmap to help with her mission most definitely knows something is up. i think i got spoiled about this whole situation, but i'm not 100% sure how trustworthy people's vague commentaries and my deduction skills are. either way, oon is now the love of my life. she is adorable and she needs a very tight and good hug, and for now, may seems like she's doing it quite well (tho i must admit, my heart hurts for oon every time may calls her oom).

LISTEN! i love my girl ciize. i adored her as alpha in 23.5, and i was so looking forward to see her in pluto (still am, don't get me wrong, i think this plot line will give us so much), but from the moment ciize said, yeah you know, pang has had this crush on oon since forever but never made a move bc she didn't know oon liked women, too, but now that she knows that's an option for her, you know, she might go for it. never mind this relationship i have with this other stunning officer who lives with me. it's like having war flashbacks of raymew in only friends, tho they are very different characters in very different circunstancies.

the thing about pang tho is that she's very logical. ep 1 pang telling oon, hey girl, i know a lot has happened in the last week of your life, but you're really taking the side of a girl found out existed just the other day and you met literally once. get a grip. iconic behaviour. i was saying the same thing. but ep 2 pang make me feel she does all of that out of misplaced jealousy and sense of ownership over oon's time and presence which is not really nice. i hope we get to see more of the phimpangjan triangle thing soon, because as i said, it's gonna be juicy~ (also, jan is so much more loyal and driven than i thought she would be. from the pilot trailer, i thought she'd be just a jealous wine lady who'd get in between kapookciize, but she's sweet so far).

grandma clearly has favorites (or so we think. at least this part of the story is from oon's perspective, after all, and we know we can be biased when telling a story), but @suppaloscurse talked about it in this post and i agree with a lot of that. oon not only is the older twin, she's also the one who needed to be strong and support her younger sister. it's not fair of grandma to pick favorites so blatantly, but i feel like it's what oon has always expected. she was sidelined bc her sister's fragile health, oom went to a private school, and then as adults, oom became a flight attendant while oon works in delivery (pls know i'm not putting more value in one more than the other) and then, also married rich. namtan talked about how grandma is pivotal in oom's story and is the reason for the granddaughter's growth, so i'm looking forward to figure that relationship out, too.

also, THE SAPPHICS OWN THE SPACE. THAI GLS TAUGHT ME SO. and, props to the cockroach that gave us the classic falling on top of you scene. i've said this during ploy's yearbook when namtanfilm's character found themselves in a similar predicament that if they were dudes, they would have kissed on the lips back then, and we almost had it in today's episode. fingers crossed i still can get my cliche from them.

[to-hypnos-we-dream]

First of all I would like to thank all of those who have prayed and given us support over my Grandma's accident! We truly appreciate you all and may you all be ever blessed! She is okay and currently has minor injuries

Now, This morning, I was trying my best to get ask answered and prepare for goals of august in relation to the forms and the desires of our patrons, however I have realized, ironically

I am experiencing burnout! Something Hypnos has spoke to me about during the last revelation! Since a traumaversary is coming up, it may be attributing draining stress that is preventing me from my work at the temple! I have thus decided to go back within the system once again and allow my bandmate to front for another while while I recover from this burn out. I apologize for how slow we have been but August coming up has been a very big stress on me, I will spend time healing alongside Hypnos and when I am back I will be sure to answer all the needs of the devotees! Thank you so much!

[kyriat-stories]

Back at Manthos Palace spring was finally on it's way after hard and long winter.

The royal family had gathered in the small throne room to receive visitors from far and wide, and to enjoy some musical entertainment.

- If you allow me, Prince Heraklis said to his nephew, I really think you should think twice about this marriage. You know it's against mother's wishes, it will cost us a fortune to pay off the King Turunusemis, that greedy bastard, and last, but not least: Princess Euthalia is not known for her modesty. She is high maintenance and very stubborn, just like her mother. I don't think you will find her very attractive.

- Uncle, you know these arrangements are not made for romantic reasons. It's purely practical. It doesn't matter how I feel about her as a person.

- It's not her personal suitability that makes me worried, the Queen cut in, but how this situation has impact on the political situation. It definitely is not ideal that King Turunusemis is annoyed with us. This should have been handled in a more thoughtful way. I am very disappointed you didn't take my advise Mijarare.

- I'm sorry grandmother, but..

- Sorry is superfluous, but you have to do better if you are to avoid these situations.

- Yes, grandma Alkmini, the King sighed.

- And how do you plan to pay for it all? We are already behind because of the new temple you are building. Then it's the pay-off, and the wedding itself must have a certain standard. It will be expensive.

- The trade agreements with Oasis Springs are a success, and very profitable in terms of customs duties and taxes.

- Mijarare, with all respect, that's just peanuts. We will have to cut back on expenses for a while. And probably sell some land.

- A lovely performance dear! Queen Alkmini said to the girl who had just performed the lovely tune "Dolphins stole my heart".

- Yes, yes, very interesting, King Mijararos murmured.

- You are just praying for this concert to end, aren't you? Prince Heraklis whispered. I bet you just can't wait to get back to training with your soldier-mates, am I right?

- Spot on, uncle, the King whispered back. Honestly, these song and dance performances are so boring! I really can't understand why my father loved them so much.

- Haha, no I bet you can't! In some ways you are very different from your father, that's for sure. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Many people think he was all perfect since he was our king, but he had some really strange obsessions and very special interests, I can tell you that!

.

Previous | Index | Character overview | Next

[yeetus-feetus]

mother: what do you mean you don't want kids?

Me: I said I don't want to birth kids.

Mum: why adopt when you've been given the gift of life bearing?

Me: first of all gross. Life bearing? Ew I feel queezy just thinking about something growing inside me that's 🤢. Second why not adopt? There's so so many kids that need loving parents and stable homes.

Mum: yeah but the gays can adopt them.

Me: ??? Are you forgetting I'm gay? I'm bi, mum.

Mum: no no, that's just a silly phase. Bisexual isn't real, you'll meet the right man one day and give me beautiful grandchildren.

Me: again. Gross. I don't want to birth your grandchildren. I already told you the thought of another being literally growing inside me makes my skin crawl. It makes me wanna throw up just thinking about it.

Mum: well I can't understand why. It's literally in your biology-

Me, walking away because this is going nowhere and I've already had this conversation with her 3 times this week:

Hey guys it's actually because I'm trans and I can't tell her that because she'll just gaslight me even harder. I would like biological kids but that's not option for me because I don't have a cock. Otherwise I'd probably already be dad.

Also I'm pretty sure my mum is only saying this to me because her mum forced her to have kids (boomer breeding kinks istg). But I'm not her therapist and I'm not going to unpack that for her. Plus she has an extremely homoerotic friendship with her bestie wich she's still in denial about because she knows she's not a lesbian but still strictly refuses to believe that bisexuality is a real thing.

But I am so tired of having this conversation with her. So so fucking tired. She should just hurry up and go kiss a woman and leave me the fuck alone istg. Like just because she's policing her own queerness doesn't me she should be projecting that onto me.

Also fuck my stupid grandma because all of this is ultimately her fault. Like why was she so obsessed with my mum having kids? Look what that caused, a handful of gay kids with severe daddy issues running around being autistic and depressed. And where is the father? Sticking his dick in anything he can breed.

Why do older people have breeding kinks?? That's actually an important question that I'm very curious about. And why is it so much more prominent in Christian households?? Like I thought sexy was unholy or something?

I'm gonna ask my grandma maybe. I won't get any answers, probably, but she'll definitely look mortified and start praying in tongues or something which will at least be entertaining.

(side note: if I had a dick I'd probably also have a breeding kink but we'll avoiding dissecting that unwelcome inheritance.)

[eepop-artz]

(originally posted to ao3) - (part of the "Melodic" future AU)

"Terrified" Chapter 2 - Cross-Mark Cat

Summary:

"Let's just crush down these eyes and this nose Let's just crush down these ears and this mouth Let's just clean and wash away My nails, my shoulders, my knees My elbows, my shins, and all the germs from the scratches on my brain" Garu is reminded of his time away. (CW: referenced animal abuse)

Garu was tired. He had stayed up until 4:00am the night before, cleaning his dusty and cobweb-ridden house. Despite this, he forced himself out of bed at 7:30, on the dot. He was lucky (or unlucky) that his alarm clock still worked.

He decided the night before he would spend the day meditating, but he felt like he was going to collapse every time he closed his eyes. ‘This is why it was so easy for them.’ he thought to himself. ‘I'm…weak-willed…and…’ he was dozing off as he was tying up his hair. “Fuck it. I'm going to sleep,” he thought out loud, yoinking out his hair ties, “I hope I die in my sleep.” He leaned back onto his bed mat, with his head in his hands.

Before he could even relax, he felt the pressure of tiny paws on his head. He grabbed the tiny creature and saw what appeared to be a miniature version of Yani. And then he saw another one, but…black. And then there was another one. ‘Am I hallucinating?’ He thought to himself, before getting a knock at his door. It was Pucca.

“You in there, Garu!? Are the kittens in there!?”

‘Kittens???’ He thought, before responding “I guess so??” He finally stood up properly to look at not only the kittens, but at a very proud looking Mio in front of him. Who was giving him more kittens. Pucca let herself in and sighed. “Mio!” She put all the cats into a little wagon, and before Garu could say anything, groaned “Mio has been dragging the kittens all over the place lately.” She shook her head, giving Mio a little flick on the forehead. Her face then suddenly lit up. “Wanna come with me to Ching's house? I'm sure Chang would love to see you again!”

Garu hesitantly nodded his head and haphazardly put his hair up. He was practically being dragged to Ching's house by Pucca (which he didn't really mind in this scenario, particularly because he just couldn't remember his way around Sooga that well anymore). He noticed that she was wearing something somewhat uncharacteristic for herself. She wore an oversized pink dress shirt with a red heart pattern and a thin knit v-neck sweater and a pair of flared black trousers, accompanied by the same pink hoops she wore the night before. She looked like a businesswoman. 

Or a grandma. He couldn’t tell.

Pucca stopped abruptly, which made Garu bump into her. She shoved him into the doorway as she greeted Ching. Garu hoped and prayed that they had anything caffeinated as he stumbled into the house.

Ching gathered multiple little bags that appeared to have syringes in them, and upon seeing Garu, dumped all the bags onto the coffee table and ran down the hallway, shouting “Garu's back, dad!” Garu snapped awake at the sound of his own name, but couldn’t quite comprehend what was going on at the moment. Chang emerged from the hallway and greeted Garu with a smile. Garu could barely comprehend what he was saying, as he could barely keep himself awake. “Are you okay, Garu?” He grasped Garu’s shoulder.

“Mio broke into his house when he was sleeping and dumped all the kittens on him,” Pucca giggled, “I think we should help him get his security system back up one of these days…” She grabbed an energy drink from their fridge, and handed it to Garu. “It’s fruit punch flavored.”

Upon consuming the drink (which for some godforsaken reason he chugged half of), he felt his entire body become electrified, as if he had just stuck a fork in an electrical socket.

He questioned for a second why he had gone to Ching’s house, until he finally got a grip and remembered…that he never did. ‘I seriously need to stop agreeing to shit without thinking’ he groaned, taking a look around at the tiny cats.

“I think I’m missing one?” Ching remarked, looking at the number of bags on the table, and then to the number of cats in the wagon.

Garu tapped Pucca’s shoulder, pointing at Mio who had snuck in to grab one of the kittens. “Oh, he just does that.” Ching and her father had left the room at this point to look for their missing syringe. Garu looked around to find Ching and Chang gone, and therefore felt comfortable enough to speak. “So…did Mio…?”

"Oh yeah! Mio and Yani had kittens a few months ago! I'm a cat grandma now..." Pucca smiled. “And you're…a...grand...uncle?”

“Why am I a grand uncle? ” Garu raised an eyebrow. “I dunno, Mio's an independent little guy. I don't think he would appreciate you calling yourself his father.” She bent down and scratched Mio's head, the feel of her nails giving him a relaxed sensation. “So now you know my own cat better than me?” He asked playfully as he took another sip of his energy drink. “Well, I mean, yeah.” Pucca responded straightforwardly, to Garu's surprise. “You haven't been around in four years, who do you think has been taking care of him?” Garu didn't know quite how to respond, eventually just zoning out while self-reflecting. Pucca didn't seem to notice, as Ching returned with the last bag. “We'll have to spay and neuter all the kittens later on though, we don't want them committing incest.” Garu almost spat out his drink. Pucca giggled as she got up from her position petting Mio, and flicked one of Garu's pigtails before kneeling next to the table. Garu sat aside Chang on their couch. 

“How was your out-of-Sooga training, Garu?” Chang asked, to which Garu responded with a shrug. “I’m sure you learned a lot, I’ve heard your family is a very well-known one.” Chang nudged him with his elbow. ‘Only that I’m a little weakling’ He thought to himself, as he simply shrugged again. One of the kittens yelping caught his attention, and also brought back bad memories. Chang could see distress on his face and reassured him, “That’s Twinkle, she’s a little…squeamish.” Garu looked utterly confused at the purple kitten’s name. “Pucca named her.” Chang added. The name suddenly made a lot of sense. As much as she appeared to have changed, Pucca was still the same person deep down.

“She’s named after this really bad anime I saw this one time,” Pucca chimed in, “Her full name is Twinkle Nora Rock-Me, like the anime.” She picked Twinkle up from the table, giving her a big kiss. Pucca pointed to the rest of the cats, pointing at each one as she listed their names. “That one’s Neapolitan, that one’s Rosie, that one’s Coco, this one is Pinkie Pie” She cooed, picking up a somehow bright magenta cat, “and that one right there is Metro.” She motioned with her head over to a little cat that looked exactly like Mio, but had Yani’s eyes. She gave the magenta cat in her hands a flurry of kisses on the head.  ‘Is she just…like that?’ Garu thought, pondering if that was why she was the way she was when she was younger. Maybe she was just always an affectionate person.

The way he remembered Pucca, she was only really affectionate towards him , but then again he didn’t really pay attention to how she lived her life when he wasn’t at the Goh-Rong or actively hanging out with her. Which wasn’t often. He preferred to spend his time alone, priming himself to one day bring back his family’s honor. While in his youth this was his goal, his recent experience had brought him to the realization that perhaps whatever perception people have of his family name is correct. Perhaps he would rather be the outlier. Garu returned to Sooga for that reason. To separate himself from his family name. Luckily for him, nobody in Sooga actually knew it (which was due to him not wanting any targets on his back). 

Still, he wanted to make it clear that he was not like them .

He still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was just like little Twinkle-or-whatever-her-name-is. A frail little baby kitten. If something bad were to happen to her, she would be utterly helpless. What all can tiny baby teeth and small claws do? His cousin Keiko had shown him videos on the internet of cats, about Twinkle’s small size, being…..he didn’t really want to think about it. But he found himself in the same exact situation as the poor things. Every day. He really didn’t want to dwell on it, but he just couldn’t stop himself.

He needed some air.

He shot up from his seat and bolted out the door, sitting on the patio. He felt like he wanted to cry. His cousin Ivy had taught him some breathing exercises. She was his grandfather’s caretaker, so she didn’t spend much time with the others. Their toxicity hadn’t rubbed off on her. She would usually find him in distress in the forest surrounding the training grounds. He didn’t know how she knew where he was. She had relatively dark skin and dark hair, and was around his age. That’s all he can recall of her appearance. The memory of her calming presence had already begun to calm him down. He didn’t even remember much about her personality. He took a deep breath in, and a slow breath out.

“You okay?”

He jumped at the arrival of Pucca, who sat next to him. “I thought you’d run off. You left this behind.” She handed him his nearly-empty energy drink. “What are those shots you’re giving the cats?” He said before sipping the last of the can and tossing it into the nearby recycling bin. “Rabies shots. Master Soo made it mandatory after Ring Ring’s dog got it. She went crazy… ” Pucca trailed off, recalling the havoc Ring Ring wreaked upon Sooga. “I had to hold her down for a whole hour.” She chuckled. “I see you’re still as strong as ever, then.” Garu remarked. Pucca felt her face go a bit red at the compliment. At least, she was pretty sure it was a compliment? Garu spoke in a sort of monotone manner, so she couldn’t tell.

She felt herself getting all flustered, and snapped out of it.

“I still train regularly….Although I don’t really have to.” She subtly bragged. They simply sat in silence for a while, before her phone began ringing. “Ugh, it’s my uncles. They probably need me for deliveries or something.” She groaned, holding back a 'I'm going to jump off a bridge'. “What do you think, should I quit and become a contract killer or a prostitute?” She chuckled, tilting her head towards Garu. “What?” he responded, his eyes widening.

Pucca paused, just staring at him awkwardly for a moment.

"I– uh–" She stuttered, "I have to go–" She quickly adjusted the cuffs on her sleeves and sprinted away.

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - part 2

Please only read if you've read part 1, which you can find on my AO3 (click here)

Chapter 11

  I can't imagine a more lovely place than Waterdeep. I thought I loved living in Baldur’s Gate as a child, but honestly? Living here is nothing short of a dream. The soothing atmosphere, the lack of crowds, the smell of books and coffee, and of course, the beauty of the ocean view right behind our backyard. 

  

   “I am so excited to meet them for the first time!” Neeve cheers as she’s skipping ahead of us, so I have to attempt to keep up with her. Halsin waits for us outside of the Inn, a smile on his face as he notices Neeve approaching. “Uncle Halsin!”

  “Hey there, Neeve. I hope everything is going alright? You’ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!” Halsin and Neeve hug, and it brings a sense of comfort to my heart. I'm glad everyone is so close to our children and loves them unconditionally. They chat for a moment as I try to calm my nerves, holding Jenevelle in my arms as we patiently wait. I'm definitely in no hurry. 

  “Alright, shall we go in?” Gale asks, his kind eyes locked on mine in a reassuring gaze. We didn't explain to Neeve why Halsin came, nor do I have any intentions to. 

   “Yes. Let's go in.” Gale rubs my back gently, bringing a sense of serene within me so I don't lose my cool. I'm just glad this is happening in a public place. My mother, Gortash, and even Fanden are all sitting gracefully at the table located in the dining area. There is a…glow surrounding Gortash and Fanden that is unfamiliar, as if it's a blessing of some sort. From the Goddess, I take it. It just blows my mind She would bring evil beings back like this; someone must have prayed for this to happen. It couldn't have been my mother, considering Fanden isn't her biological child. 

  “Good morning everyone,” I say nervously as we all sit at the table. I sit very comfortably close to Gale, with our baby held between us. Neeve sits next to me, and I wrap my arm around her. Halsin stands behind us, carefully eyeballing for any suspicious behavior. 

   “Oh Emmy…you showed up,” my mother murmurs quietly, tears forming in her eyes. “This means the world to me. And my granddaughters… Hello girls. It's so very nice to see you both.”

   “This is Neeve, she’s almost seven years old. She's been dying to meet you all. Neeve, this is your grandmother. And…your grandfather.” Neeve walks up to my mother and hugs her immediately without a second thought. My mother's eyes open wide, yet she smiles wholesomely. “Seems she's taken a liking to you already.” I look over at Gortash, who has a weak smile on his face, hoping I speak to him. 

 “Emmy.” That's the only word that escapes his mouth. 

“Hello, erm…father. I wanted to stop by in hopes you both have a chance to see your granddaughters.” Neeve sits down in between my mother and Gortash, then looks over at Fanden is curiosity. “Oh, Neeve. That's my brother Fanden.” 

 Neeve is the only one at this whole table that doesn't feel any sense of awkwardness, considering she loves people. I feel guilty for not telling her the whole story between all of us, but she's so young, I'm not even sure where to begin honestly. 

  “It's nice to see you all. Hello Neeve. I hope we get to see more of you,” Gortash comments, smiling down at her. It's so weird seeing a good side of this political tyrant, but it's been ages since I've last seen him. Has he really changed? “You look just like your mother.”

  “Yeah, I get told that a lot. And she looks like…hmm…” Neeve studies my parents, trying to figure out who I look like. “Mommy has your eyes for sure,  grandpa. Maybe your cheeks. It's hard to tell. Everything else? Definitely grandma!” I smile at my daughter’s positive attitude and fearlessness, and I feel a little more at ease now, though we’re just testing the waters at this point. Fanden looks over at me, a nervous smile appearing on his face, though I am honestly terrified to talk to him for some reason. He feels the same, and I can see guilt in his eyes; I know we will talk. It'll just take time. 

 “Listen, Em–”

“Ssssh, Mother. Let's just eat a delicious breakfast and catch up,” I suggest, smiling at her. “We can have a private conversation later. Would you like to hold Jenevelle?” My mother nods and smiles with anticipation, her face lighting up as she's waiting  to hold our littlest one. I hand the baby to her, who seems to be curious about my mother; and yes, she's held her before, but that was…almost a decade ago. 

  “Jenevelle Dekarios, you beautiful girl…”

  “Looks just like her father,” Gortash points out, admiring our daughter. “An uncanny resemblance.”

  “I get that a lot. It's the nose,” Gale comments, half-smiling at my father’s words. The awkwardness is slowly starting to die down; am I…beginning to trust these people? My family, who betrayed me and caused tragedy throughout the world? I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to stop the negativity that's racing through my brain. 

 The good news about all of this is that our daughter is happy, and I think even Gale feels a sense of comfort and trust from all of this. As we’re eating breakfast, we catch up on life and what everyone has been up to. We talked about Jenevelle rolling over, Neeve’s success in school, and even Fanden’s new job as an artificer. He's been building and restoring throughout Baldur’s Gate, and he's been happy doing it. I'm hoping to learn more about my brother and restore a bond possibly. 

  

“Emmy, we love you and your little family. I hope we can build a further connection again and find a way to make everything up to you,” Gortash mentions with sincerity in his voice. He seems…genuine. And not the ‘false genuine’ where you question their intentions, but actually genuine. 

[itzymidzy]

"Thanks to" letter in GOLD album: Lia

Hello, this is LIA.

There are people I am so grateful to and though I want to give them only love and happiness, I'm clumsy in expressing myself. So I want to use this 'thanks to' message to convey my feelings. To my family, who love me the most in the world, thank you for praying for me every day, for the encouraging quotes and videos you send without fail, and for the random phone calls that give me strength.

Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, my brother, aunties, uncles and cousins, thank you all so much. And to my friends who have supported and worried about me, I sincerely thank you. Yejin, whenever I felt down or struggled, you always had your own way of giving me strength. Over the past year, having you by my side has been such a comfort— can't tell you how grateful I am. My dearest treasure Bella, no matter how my day has gone, at the end of it, you always greet me with the happiest face and that makes me so happy. I love you so much. To PD Park Jin-young, CEO Jung Wook, Vice President Byun Sang-bong and Director Hee-won, thank you so much for always sincerely supporting and cheering for us. I am deeply thankful to everyone at JYP Entertainment who has understood and waited for me, as well as to the members and MIDZY. I regret the time we couldn't spend together, but as much as I do, I will make sure this album repays all those who waited for the five of us to come back stronger as a complete group.

Please look forward to it! Thank you and love you always. Fighting!