#grand tradition of work bathroom selfie

[grubloved]

[mysticalnightenthusiast]

S.N.A.F.U CH-54 ‘Manure’

Three days later at the end of a half load yet exhausting week Eadaoin returned home ready to sit down to some homemade Irish Stew, soda bread and Guinness and watch Qualifying for the Mexico City Grand Prix.  She walked in the door and was enveloped by the alluring smell of fried meat and warm bread.

“I need FOOD!” she announced loudly upon walking through the door.

“Hello to you too.” Cahir said sticking his head out of the kitchen “want a Guinness?”

“Oh yes please,” Eadaoin replied gratefully “but let me have a shower and change first, I’ve just spent an hour on the tube and feel yuck.”

“You got it.”

Eadaoin made her way upstairs to her room stripping off as soon as she closed the door behind her, leaving her work clothes and heels in a messy pile she padded over to her little ensuite bathroom and proceeded to have a long hot shower, washing away the jetlag, stress of the working week and worry about her car.  Sudsing up a storm she twisted her hair into a turban and changed into as pair of shorts and one of Daniel’s baggy team polos he had given her back in Austin that stilled smelled alluringly of his cologne and deodorant.  Grabbing her hairbrush she made her way back downstairs to the kitchen that was a hive of activity as Donnacha, Roisin and Cahir prepared dinner.

“You’re all awesome,” she said hugging each of them in turn “if it was the usual qualifying night I probably would have picked up a six pack at an off licence and ordered a curry.”

“Well we knew you’ve had a pretty heavy week dealing with jetlag, work and the worry of your car so we headed out today and did some grocery shopping for you and thought we could have our traditional Friday night stew and Guinness night whilst we watch quallies for Mexico,” Roisin suggested.

“And I noticed your bar is woefully under stocked so I fixed that up for you,” Cahir said cheerfully.

“How much do I owe you?”

“Eh don’t worry about it, you’re letting me crash until I have a job and can find my own place,” Cahir said cheerfully “I’m not going to miss a few hundred quid.”

“You’re a star.  How did the job search go?”

“Good, I have an interview on Monday at a small animal clinic in Putney,” Cahir replied cheerfully “its only a fill in position for a month but it’s full time hours and on Wednesday I have an interview at an equine practice in Walliswood.  I’d love to get the second job it’s exactly what I did back home.”

“Well I hope you get both,” Eadaoin said as he phone beeped with an incoming text message.

“Tell Danny we say hi.” Cahir teased as he made his way into the lounge room where Eadaoin’s TV was broadcasting the Sky F1 coverage.

“Oh sod off.” Eadaoin replied as she retrieved her phone from her pocket.

As Cahir predicted the incoming text message was from Daniel.

‘I’m just about to jump in the car for quallies and just wanted to say you’re the most beautiful woman in the world and I love you and miss you like crazy.  I’ll be in touch after the session and all my media commitments have been met okay?”

Eadaoin smiled and easily slid onto one of the stools at the end of her kitchen bench.

‘I love you and miss you like crazy too’ she texted ‘have a good session, drive safe and kick ass.  Might send you a boobs selfie later if you’re a good boy.  Everyone says hi BTW.”

A beating heart and eggplant emoji came back a moment later then Eadaoin looked up and saw Daniel hand his phone to Michael and climb into his car on her T.V.

“How long til we can eat Ma?” she called.

“After the first session,” Roisin called  back “the stew’s done but the soda bread needs a bit longer.”

“Let’s get some Guinness and watch Danny drive, he just got into his car.”

Roisin fetched some cans of Guinness from the fridge and followed her daughter and husband into the lounge room just as Danny drove out of the garage and into the pit lane.

“We’ve got to go to this GP one day,” Cahir said as Roisin gave him a can of Guinness “that stadium grandstand looks mint.  Ta Mum.”

“Would still rather watch from pit lane, or McLaren corporate” Eadaoin countered with a grin “you would too especially seeing as you get a paddock pass and can sit where you like.”

“Yeah yeah, I get ya,” Cahir said dryly “you know having your baby sister dating an F1 driver really has its perks.  I’m not going to have to buy any merch for ages now.”

“Most of what you have you got before I’d even met Danny!” Eadaoin exclaimed.

Cahir chuckled.

“I know, only kiddin’ kiddo,” So how is he feeling about a decent qually spot?”

“Cautiously optimistic like usual,” Eadaoin replied taking a swig of Guinness “he’ll be satisfied to get through to Q3 at minimum and happy with fifth or sixth on the grid.  At this point of the season most focus is on next year.”

For the entire twenty minutes of the first qualifying session Eadaoin’s attention flitted between Daniel’s car and the panel that displayed all the driver’s session time.  She punched the air and cheered when the curly haired driver easily made his way into the second qualifying session with a time just over 1:17.

“He’d be happy with that,” Cahir said as the driver’s began returning to the pits and the on air presenters began analyzing the session “and both the lads are through to the second session.”

“It doesn’t matter how Lando does tough the team had to change his power unit and he’s automatically starting from the back of the grid,” Eadaoin said “that’ll annoy him.”

“He’s got the skill to make his way through the field early though,” Roisin said getting to her feet “and the power unit change will set him up for the rest of the season.”

“True.”

After a small break the second qualifying session began.  Nursing a bowl of Irish Stew, a wedge of soda bread and a can of Guinness Eadaoin stayed on the couch engrossed in the session for the Mexico City Grand Prix cheering on Danny as he hauled his car around the track. The clock counted down agonizingly slowly and he was stuck in the elimination zone risking elimination but with a final burst of speed he managed to go from a possible eleventh position to a solid sixth fastest taking him into the third and final session.

“Oh god I hate that when it happens!” Eadaoin exclaimed with a groan.

“He can relax a bit now though,” Donnacha commented “barring any significant changes to his car the worst position he can have on the grid is tenth.”

“He’ll want to be higher than that though,” Eadaoin said with a huge sigh “but one of Danny’s best qualities as a driver is his starts so....”

“Bit surprised Ocon missed the third session,” Cahir said draining the last of his Guinness “maybe the issues his car had in Austin are still affecting his pace.”

“S’pose we’ll find out at the end of the session,”

There was a small delay to the beginning of the third and final qualification session as the track was cleared of some debris then the session began with Carlos and Charles leading the charge out onto the track.

“The practice and qualifying sessions have become far more interesting since you and Danny have hooked up,” Cahir told his sister.

“They have a bit aye?” Eadaoin replied with a smile, her stomach performing a little flip flop as Danny roared out of the garage closely followed by Lando.

Just then Eadaoin’s mobile phone buzzed with an incoming message, she swiped the screen and saw the message was a video file sent from Michael.

“Oh Michael's sent me a video!” she said in surprise.

Eadaoin tapped on the file and immediately a compilation of Danny driving in the sessions began playing a smile grew on her lips and when the forty second clip finished she sent back a thumbs up emoji and a ‘Tell Danny I love him.” text.

“Wasn’t a dirty text was it?” Cahir asked with a snort of laughter.

Fast as lightning Eadaoin grabbed the nearest cushion and hit her brother with it.

“Ná bheith ina moron fucking!” (Don’t be a fucking moron!) she exclaimed “it wasn’t a dirty text, Michael has a girlfriend.  He sent me a video of Danny driving.”

“So it was a dirty text then.” Cahir said “could’ve saved time just saying that in the beginning you know”

Donnacha and Roisin unsuccessfully tried to hide their snorts of amusement.

“I’m not getting dirty texts from anyone!” Eadaoin exclaimed “you’d be the last person I’d tell if I was!”

“There’s something wrong if you and Danny aren’t exchanging dirty texts,” Cahir teased.

“If I didn’t have a bowl of steaming stew on my lap I would throw the bowl at your head!” Eadaoin exclaimed as Cahir guffawed loudly “you operate on a singular brain cell I swear.  Watch the damn T.V you dick.”

Cahir threw back the cushion and poked his tongue out at his sister before turning his attention back to the T.V.

The remaining qualifying session was pretty uneventful for Daniel and the rest of the drivers with Valtteri, Lewis and Max filling the first three places on the grid.  Daniel was looking at a solid fourth place and second row position but was overtaken by Checo, Pierre and Carlos right at the last minute.  As soon as the curly haired Australian raced over the finish line Eadaoin, Donnacha, Roisin and Cahir let out a collective groan of frustration that was felt across the water when the McLaren garage staff dropped their heads into their hands.

“Aw man that sucks!” Cahir groaned “seven one hundredths and he’d be next to Max.  He’ll be annoyed at that.”

“Not for long though,” Eadaoin countered “and seventh isn’t too bad, he’s podium’d from further back than that before.”

*******************************************************************************************

Half an hour later whilst Eadaoin was helping her parents and brother clean up after dinner her mobile phone rang.

“Tell Danny we said Hi,” Roisin said teasingly.

Eadaoin immediately turned the same shade as her hair and poked her tongue out before making her way back into the lounge room and swiping the screen to answer Daniel’s call.

“Hey handsome,” she said cheerfully as she dropped down into her favourite chair “how’s you?”

On the other end of the line Daniel let out a long drawn out sigh.

“Eeeehhhhhhhh,” he said “far from satisfied but I can’t change the result now so now it’s just all guns blazing for tomorrow.”

“What do Andreas and Tom think?”

“They’re confident I’ll finish higher than I’ve qualified which is the usual aim,” Daniel replied “I just want to race, get out there, floor it and hopefully do it faster than everyone else.  I’m a bit more confident about Brazil next week, gawd Michael would kill me if he heard me say that, you know what he’s like ‘be in the present, nothing is gained by dwelling on the past or focusing too much on the future’”

Eadaoin let out a snort of laughter.

“You in your trailer or your driver’s room?” she asked.

“Trailer, I have half an hour to talk to you, then freshen up and start doing the post qually media rounds,” Daniel replied “but enough about me how about you?  Any more news on your car?”

“Yeah, the insurance assessor as deemed it worthy of repair and a truck picked it up after work yesterday,” Eadaoin replied “I pick up a rental on Monday and I just have to give the hiring contract to the assessor and my insurance will pay for the hire.”

“Well that’s good at least it’s fixable,” Daniel replied cheerfully “we should go on a road trip through Europe in the off season when it’s back up to scratch, I haven’t been on a good road trip in years.”

“I would have thought given what you do for a living the last thing you’d want to do is drive anything or anywhere.”

“Darling going on a recreation holiday driving trip and driving and F1 car at three hundred k’s an hour are polar opposites,” Daniel said in amusement “the whole point of my job is to be as fast as possible and finish in front of everyone else, there’s no recreation in it.  I love driving when I can take the time, especially if I’ve got someone to enjoy it with and I know if we went on a road trip with you I’d enjoy it.”

“Well let’s put it on the off season break to do list and when the season has actually finished we’ll organise something,” Eadaoin said with a sigh “god I miss you, hugging your pillow at night isn’t half as good as hugging you.  I’m super tempted to work remote and get on the next plane to Mexico City tomorrow.”

Daniel laughed.

“Don’t do that,” he said in amusement “only a couple of weeks more and I’ll be home, I’m flying out Sunday night after the Qatar race once I’ve met all my post race commitments so if you fancy meeting me at Heathrow at six in the morning I’ll be home that Monday morning.”

“I look forward to it, waiting-”

“EAAAAAAAADIE!” Cahir called from somewhere near the front of the house “EAAAAAAADIE!”

“Hang on babe Cally’s calling me,” Eadaoin told Daniel “can it wait Cally?”

“No you’re going to want to see this!”

“Babe I’ve got to go,” Eadaoin told Danny with a sigh “Cally’s yelling for me from out the front, call me before you get in the car tomorrow okay? You’ll do fabulously I know it.”

“Can only wait and see,” Daniel said cheerfully “I love you darling, chat tomorrow.”

“Love you too handsome bye!”

Eadaoin hug up and pocketed her phone and made her way out to the front of the house where Cahir and by now her parents were.  Immediately upon opening the front door she was overcome by the nauseating smell of fresh horse manure.  She looked around and saw her entire front yard, rose garden, lawn, daffodil and tulip bed where covered in piles and piles of equine excrement that spilled over onto the path leading from the letter box to the front door.

“What the hell?” she exclaimed carefully stepping forward as to avoid the manure on the path.

“I came out here to put rubbish in your outside bin and literally stepped in horse shit,” Cahir said.

“You sure its horse shit?”

“Eadie I’m a horse vet I think I know what horse shit looks like,” Cahir said dryly.

“Who the hell would do this?” Donnacha asked “the ground is sodden too, like someone left a garden hose on.”

“You pissed anyone off at work?” Cahir asked his sister “maybe lost a case your client expected you to win?”

“No, I haven’t taken a case to court for three weeks and even then it was a preliminary hearing, the beginning of a case to set out procedure,” Eadaoin replied “I’ve been home for four hours and this wasn’t here when I got home! What am I going to do with a shit ton of shit?”

“You got any shovels?” Roisin asked “I know it’s getting late but if we shovel all this manure into one pile maybe on Monday you can call someone that removes organic waste to come and get it.”

“Think I’m going to have to do that,” Eadaoin said with a sigh “fucking hell all I want to do is nurse a whiskey on the rocks and go to bed. Shoveling horse shit is not my ideal Friday night wind down activity.”

“Ah c’mon kiddo if we all pitch it your garden will be back to looking normal, or as normal as can be within a couple of hours,” Donnacha informed his daughter cheerfully.

“Best get started then.”

[zukadiary]

Company/BADDY ~ Moon Troupe 2018

Welp I'm in Japan again, for a bizarre trip considering none of my so-called faves are doing anything I'd normally clamor to see live... There are multiple reasons for that, but a big one is I let the idea of this show seduce me completely. I pegged it my most highly anticipated Grand Theater of the year pretty much as soon as the blurbs came out, anticipated it even more after I read and loved the novel, and pretty much lost my mind as soon as the first BADDY tweets surfaced back in February. So I braved Golden Week crowds in Hibiya to squeeze two viewings out of the last week of the run, and I'm quite pleased with my choices.

COMPANY

I summarized Company and its characters a bit before so I won't do it again; they stuck to the premise well enough.

I'd call Company cute and very pleasant; I thought everyone did a wonderful job and any qualms I have are with Ishida-sensei. My love of the book definitely enhanced my appreciation of the show because I went in already attached to the characters, but it also set me up for disappointment in a few places where Ishida fell flat. It's a bit of a long book though, and overall I think he cut exactly what needed to be cut to fit it into one act.

What I LOVE about the play as a whole is the modernness of it; Takarazuka almost never does shows set in present-day Japan, and its shows set in present-day elsewhere often come awkwardly tinged with an uncool dad vibe (LET'S TAKE A SELFIE FOR FACENOTE a la Vampire Succession, for example). Company felt totally natural and it was really refreshing. That said, something bugged me about the line delivery in pretty much the entire show; it was kind of stiff and hammy. I'm inclined to believe it was the direction, but I do wonder if it was just Patented Takarazuka Acting™ and it happened to stand in greater contrast against a modern play (and I also wonder if that's why they shy away from such stories).

Tamakichi was so beautiful it hurt to look at her. Her character Aoyagi's backstory was changed by absolute necessity; the book opens with his wife leaving him, but in the opening song of the show he tells us she's died from cancer two years back. Book Aoyagi is a nobody at work and pretty much a total loser in general at the beginning, and goes on a real journey of self love and improvement. I am a little sad we didn't get this angle because I think Tamakichi could have done an absolutely heartbreaking job portraying that particular transformation, but I also completely understand that including all that simply wasn't possible. Instead we have Cool Good-Looking Senpai Aoyagi, reliable leader from start to finish, whose journey is injecting some joy back into his life and beginning to heal from his wife's death. Tamakichi is so good at the wholesome everyday hero I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. My biggest takeaway from her performance, other than that she slays in a basic clean-cut suit, is that she has blossomed and is such a top star. NO SHADE to Tamakichi up till now; she's done nothing but impress me since assuming office. But while what stood out to me in Grand Hotel and All for One was the balance of the troupe and how perfectly they allowed their other wonderful players support her, SHE stood out to me in Company all on her own; her presence and confidence were incredible. They kept Chapi the exact right amount of time.

This could be Chapi's most typical top musumeyaku role since Tamakichi took over, but it's still unique in that she's the pursuer in their romance and I love that. Minami, while less confident in her ballet/work life than Stage Aoyagi seems to be in his work life, is slightly more confident in their personal interactions—always trying to joke, lighten the mood for him, drop hints—and it's a lovely dynamic. Her portrayal was probably the most faithful to the book. Chapi is bright and cheery and the smoothest actress, and every bit of real ballet we get to see her do is a blessing.

I had the greatest attachment to Haruka (MiyaRuri) and Yui (Umi-chan) going in. My absolute favorite aspect of the book was the slow burn surrounding everything Haruka: his relationship with Yui especially, but also with Aoyagi and the others. Of course I totally understand there is no room for slow burn in one act. Aside from that, Miya was exactly the Haruka I imagined and that was a joy to watch (her costume and countenance in the Dark Gay Swan Lake scene in particular is a VISION). Yui is another refreshing atypical musumeyaku character and Umi did a great job. It's a pretty good show for musumeyaku roles in general; Sara (Wakaba) and Noa (Touka Yurino) are also pretty big parts. I loved Kumichou in particular, she had some amazing one-liners.

My biggest disappointment was in Ishida's handling of Nayuta (Reiko). Reiko did just fine, but I felt that Ishida sucked all the life out of the character. Book Nayuta is a hot-headed asshole who underneath all the strutting and crude commentary cares a lot about his performing. A lot of that comes from him being a trainee idol and trying to prove that he has a place among his equally hot-headed senpai whereas Stage Nayuta is the star of the group, but it's NOT AT ALL HARD TO IMAGINE that a star idol might be kind of a hot-headed asshole. Stage Nayuta was just kind of pretty and there, and as a result the drama surrounding him joining Dark Gay Swan Lake in the Prince role felt flat to me. This is one change I really think could have been made in the given timeframe. (Trivia bit: in the understandably zuka-fied Final Drama where Nayuta injures Sara on stage with a lift gone wrong, Nayuta locks himself in the bathroom at intermission and won't stop crying from guilt. In the book, he feels his finger slip between her ribs during the lift, and dwelling on the sensation makes him so ill he can't stop throwing up).

Toshi is a VERY cool idol group leader; Ari is, as I predicted, herself; and Ruu, Shimon, and Mayupon are a pretty funny group (boss and salarymen), with Mayupon in particular also absolutely WEARING the normal suit look. Everyone else was pretty light on the stage time.

BADDY

BADDY is a triumph. If you still have the opportunity to watch it sans spoilers, I recommend it, I'm jealous, and I would love to know what that's like. However I can also say that I read almost everything about it before seeing it and I felt no less impact from its brilliance.

It's completely ridiculous, but the balance it strikes in its ridiculousness is absolutely sublime. Simplicity combined with absurdist randomness; both using and upending traditional Takarazuka elements JUST enough; it strikes the perfect note.

There's so much to unpack.

For one thing, it's SO META. We open in Takarazuka City on the Peaceful Planet that has seen no disturbance in 103 years, and down comes the Baddies' spaceship with a thunk. Following the thunk, Tamakichi declares "Looks like you've been waiting quite a while for this," RIGHT BEFORE going into the standard opening announcement—"written and directed by Ueda Kumiko," etc—and I am sure that's her sticking in her own jab about Takarazuka waiting 103 years before letting one of their female directors do a revue. Really, I wouldn't be surprised if the ENTIRE THING was a reference to this; I mean we're in TAKARAZUKA CITY where COOL BADDIES infiltrate a BORING LAME SOCIETY THAT HASN'T CHANGED IN 103 YEARS and then they BLOW EVERYTHING UP and EVERYONE GOES TO HEAVEN. That's bold, UeKumi.

There are smaller amusing references too... Reiko commenting that Amashi Juri's character looks new (she just switched to musumeyaku), Tamakichi kidnapping Reiko and giving her to Miya saying "here you're in charge of improving this person's general everything" which I'm pretty sure is Miya and Reiko's IRL relationship.

(Amashi Juri is so cute I can't stand it, help).

Another thing, it flows so beautifully for a revue with a plot (not a theme, a plot... the only other example of which I can recall at the moment is Nova Bossa Nova, which does not flow like this). Despite the scenes connecting perfectly into one cohesive story, they are still individual scenes that feel like standard revue scenes, with variety and costume changes and great music and really fun choreography.

Chapi is given the queenly treatment she deserves; she's as much the star of the revue as anyone else. The rockette with her in the center might be my personal highlight, and it's the perfect example of what I mean by both using and upending Takarazuka traditions. We've got typical rockette-style costumes, synchronized kicking, the works—but we've traded the high-pitched KYAA for YELLING ABOUT HOW ANGRY THEY ARE in unison with some really badass choreo. It's the perfect balance of respect and rebellion; it works because the rockette is such a standard part of our fan lexicon, and the small differences make us open our eyes wide. Crushed velvet kuroenbi. Ray Bans during the parade...

The duet dance also—passionate and angry and LITERALLY fiery, as Tama and Chapi dance and eventually descend through the floor with one long hard kiss surrounded the entire time by swirling flames. I mention that in case the flame effect (like the starlight during Maa's Chopin in HOT EYES) does not show up on the DVD, which would be tragic.

As beautifully and wholesomely as Tamakichi carried herself in Company she pulled out all the stops and slayed in BADDY. Dynamic (and dangerous) radiantly glowing top star. Miya is downright erotic.

Mayupon is just an alien, in the background, through costume changes, the entire time.

There was a fun amount of gender fluidity presented in sort of a nonchalant? way?? Like not the gratuitous otokoyaku-in-drag situation we usually get; paired with the free-flowing top 4 love quadrangle, it felt, dare I say, progressive.

I had an extra fun experience at my first viewing... TSUKI MATSURI! Tsukigumi has a tradition where one day per run (though I imagine not every single run) they all wear afro wigs in one scene and adlib it to hell and back. Since it was my first time and this did not seem at all out of place against the backdrop of BADDY I didn't even realize until after, but what lucky timing.

I can't wait for UeKumi's next show, and I went into QR and came out only with Tsukigumi bromides, I don’t know myself. 

[davetheshady]

It Devours! liveblog 4

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

Chapters 21-30!

Nils and Darryl have a cunning plan: dress up like giant bananas.

By which I mean they’ll put on JoyCon’s ceremonial yellow robes, hats, and hoods, but, you know.

Nils will take Darryl’s place during the JoyCon service, while Darryl searches the offices for incriminating evidence – if he gets caught, they probably won't do anything too drastic. Despite trying to believe in Darryl, Nils still doesn't trust him, but doesn't have any better ideas.

and the simplicity of sPILLING IT ALL OVER HER DESK WHYYYY

Do you think this means, like, the Night Vale Erin Brockovich features Julia Roberts going on a telekinetic rampage?

Nils makes her way into JoyCon's main... churchy... place. They keep referring to the "stained glass columns" but I think they're actually just stained glass windows that are tall and skinny (so, like a lot of stained glass windows). Unless I'm wrong and they're an architectural installation by noted artist Dale Cthulhuy.

The proceedings begin and we find out too late that there is... 

folk music

Any relation to the Man in the Yellow Hat? Is Curious George the Leah Remini of the JoyCon community?

Pastor Munn then starts her sermon/slideshow.

This is literally just Tumblr.

FUCK OFF SPACE EGG

Honestly one of the biggest twists in this part is that everyone concludes prayers with "Amen", suggesting that JoyCon has roots in Judeo-Christian traditions. 

The more Nils hears, the more suspicious she becomes:

Ok, so this is probably going to turn out to be right, but hilarious I did not even blink at the rhetoric of the sermon, because most religions have their weird jargon, and you’d think that’d go double for Night Vale. This is like going to mass and concluding that Catholics are about to perpetrate vampiric cannibalism, what with all the body eating and blood drinking. (And no, you're not wrong, that would be an awesome horror story.) So it seems, idk, hasty that Nils treats this as an admission of guilt (and not just a potential admission of guilt, it IS pretty suspicious). 

This just in: Nils is a walking OSHA violation.

The Pastor calls on Nils to participate, but she pukes to avoid having to answer and blow her cover. Good thinking! She fake flees to the bathroom (again) and meets up with Darryl, who has found stuff a bunch of suspicious papers.

Unfortunately, they've been rumbled. Pastor Munn and Gordo(n) pull Nils and Darryl into the office, and Nils accuses JoyCon of plotting to summon the Smiling God to eat everyone.

Well, at least DARRYL knows what a metaphor is

Pastor Munn confirms that Nils is, in fact, totally correct about the Smiling God.

Eat them all and let God sort them out

Poor Darryl but also: this is hilarious

We then have a brief interlude with JoyCon member Martin for some reason, and I only mention it because apparently he's related to Shallan Davar. MOSTLY VOIDBRINGERS, PARTIALLY STARS.

o/` lightweaver, lightweaver / we know how to do it o/`

Munn and Gordo(n) let Nils go, confident that Darryl is a faithful member of the JoyCon and that there's nothing she can do to stop them. She agrees with them, to her despair, but she's determined to find Carlos and see if they can come up with anything. So she heads to the Grand Reopening of Big Rico's (for the record, still a big hole filled with worms).

Before she can clue him in, they run into John Peters - you know, the farmer - who apparently never remembers Nils' name:

And then they run into Janice, Abby, and Steve!

Adorable.

Speaking of families, Nils had gone back to visit hers, but it doesn't always work that well:

Sidenote: I have friends who celebrate it as a cultural/secular event, but Diwali is also a religious festival? Is Nils cool with family members potentially being practicing Hindus? That seems like it would be relevant.

Nils starts telling Carlos what she's learned, but they're interrupted by a gathering of hooded figures. John Peters - you know, the farmer - is trapped and falls in the pit! Nils tackles a hooded figure to save him! It's all very exciting and I have no idea what the point of any of it is, but she’s eventually able to join back up with Carlos. 

I am also screaming

.FINALLY, Nils tells Carlos what’s going on.

Nils is now determined that if anything is threatening HER town, she's going to stop it. Then she and Carlos discuss the hooded figures (which apparently are attracted to entrances to other dimensions??? So... all of Night Vale?? Those things are everywhere) and Carlos drops a huge bomb about the desert otherworld:

I don't know why he WANTED to stay there, with Cecil, if that's the case (c.f. “A Carnival Comes to Town”, “Monolith”, “Faceless Old Women”, etc etc) but whatever: that sucks.

Meanwhile at JoyCon, Darryl gets grilled by the church higher-ups, but his friends stick up for him. Awww, Darryl's friends. We also get some interesting info about JoyCon's history.

So... going by "Triptych", I guess Strex Corp forced Kevin into the Desert Otherworld, and when he got back he'd been brainwashed into the creepy person we know and... know, and started or perpetuated the Smiling God as Strex's official religion?

Anyway, the chapter ends with everyone shouting things like "For teeth's sake!" and "Joyfully, it devours!" Drink!

Nils wakes up from a nightmare she doesn't remember (lucky) and watches some TV.

Truly, Night Vale is a crazy backwards world.

But then!

Oh no! The gym! Janice! Nils' pants!

However, I think having Janice be in danger is actually less effective than the other pit victims? We definitely know she's still alive and playing basketball in the most recent episodes. But with Larry Leroy and Big Rico's and the Ralphs, it's hard to remember when they were last mentioned, so while we were assuming everything was fine with these Night Vale institutions, instead everything was NOT fine. There were horrible tragedies and we didn't even know.

Also, it turns out Janice is fine. There's a nice scene where Nils interviews Josh Crayton, who's upset that he froze and couldn't do anything when the pit opened up, but Janice took charge and saved a whole lot of people. However, as someone who works at a high school I have some SERIOUS concerns about their safety procedures throughout this whole section. Please evacuate the room with the GIANT HOLE IN THE FLOOR and don't let random people onto the campus, even if they are the main character!

Even though Janice is okay, Carlos is like, freaking out, man, and needs Cecil to comfort him.

...asphalt? Like, outside? Unless there's asphalt in the gym? Look, I don't know, it's Night Vale.

Take selfies!

Eww Pamela's tongue

Pamela tells Nils to stop interfering, because contrary to popular belief they're NOT actually cool with a giant centipede eating Night Vale, and if Nils stays involved she might make the Smiling God situation worse. However, we end with Carlos vowing to start interfering even more, because no one's almost eating his niece on his watch.  

As Nils leaves, one of JoyCon's sketchy white vans starts following her again. She snaps and decides to turn the tables.

Perhaps a sort of salute, with one finger?

She traps the van behind the Best Buy and demands a confrontation, and who should emerge but Darryl and his friends??

Well, okay, I guess that's not THAT surprising. We only know, like, five people in JoyCon.

Although I guess the centipede could have been driving. Now THAT would have been a surprise.

[tglifestyle]

Travel Day

We departed for our trip on the evening of March 27th, flying from Atlanta to Paris, then switching planes to head to Venice.  I didn’t realize that in Paris we would have to go through customs and security, which took quite a while.  We had a one hour layover and nearly missed our connecting flight as it took over a half hour to get through security.  CDG Airport in Paris is kind of crazy – very busy and spread out.  I would advise getting a direct flight if possible, or connecting somewhere else (I’ve heard Berlin is a good connection city).  When we got to our “gate” to “board” it was actually a bus that then drove us out to the runway to climb aboard our plane. The flight from Paris to Venice is beautiful; we were awestruck as we flew over the Alps.

View on the flight from Paris to Venice

Landing in Venice There are several options for getting from the airport which is on the mainland, to the island of Venice.  The cheapest is taking a land bus for a few euros which will drop you off on the only road on the island – an area called Piazalle Roma.  Our hotel was actually right in this area, so the bus would have been very easy for us to take, but we wanted to take a water taxi instead.  A private water taxi is the most expensive way to go (100 euros) but really the nicest way to get there, allowing a scenic view of the city as your arrive via boat.  After so many hours of flying it was a very nice way to arrive at our destination. There are also water buses you can hop on that stop at specific places, and since they make multiple stops they can take a bit longer.  Depending on where you stay, you’ll need to make sure you get off the waterbus at the stop closest to your hotel.

Tip:  Choose a hotel that is very close to a water bus or water taxi stop, otherwise you’ll be hauling your luggage up and down steps, over bridges, and along narrow crowded sidewalks.

The Hotel

We stayed at the Santa Chiara hotel which is located on Piazalle Roma and faces the Grand Canal.  It’s a great location, as it is also very close to the train station.  Unfortunately, this also made it a little noisy.  Our room wasn’t ready, but the front desk staff checked our luggage and gave us a map, showing us things to go do and see while we waited.  The building is hundreds of years old, but you would never guess that by the ultra-modern rooms.  It was the most spacious room of all the hotels we stayed in during our trip.  Our room faced Piazalle Roma, not the Canal, so we didn’t have a great view – just lots of buses, taxis, and people, but to be honest, we were only in our room to sleep so that didn’t matter.  The bathroom was gorgeous, with a nice shower and great lighting.  There is a coffee maker and a refrigerator with a minibar (prices were reasonable).  They do serve breakfast each day until 10:30, but we weren’t up and out until 11:00 so we never tried it.  They do serve good coffee, though!

The Grand Canal behind Hotel Santa Chiara

Rialto Bridge

Morning coffee at our hotel

Exploring Venice

While we were waiting for our room to be ready, we went walking for about 2 hours. It was fun to wander along twisting, turning narrow sidewalks and bridges over canals throughout the city.  We were lucky to have absolutely beautiful weather, so we were able to enjoy the sights, pausing to take in the picturesque scenery.  Besides the canals and ancient buildings, there are stunning basilicas  and pretty squares scattered throughout Venice.  It’s easy to get lost, so having a paper map as well as using your phone (if you have an international data plan) is essential. The “touristy” areas are super crowded, so it’s fun to wander down quieter streets to look in the shop windows and explore.  We never felt unsafe during our self-guided tour of the city.

Exploring the streets of Venice

We eventually made it back to the hotel, where the gentleman from the front desk led us up to our room, where they had already delivered our luggage.  We napped for a bit, then dressed and found a place for dinner. We decided on Rio Novo Risorante, just a short walk from our hotel.  It is a rather small place, and as with most restaurants in Venice, the menu was in both Italian and English, and our server spoke English as well.  We did not have a reservation, but they were able to accommodate us.  We ordered the house wine – which, just about everywhere in Italy is very good – and some fresh bruschetta.  I had the seafood pasta which was a clean, simple dish of fresh pasta, shrimp, lobster, mussels and clams.  It was exactly what I wanted for my first meal in Venice.  My husband had  grilled fish with vegetables that was equally as good.  After dinner we strolled around Venice and ended the evening with some cocktails at a lovely little hotel.  I cannot remember the hotel name, but the manager, Frederico, sat with us and chatted for quite some time.  He was very funny and gave us some excellent tips when it came to dining in Venice (don’t eat anywhere that has photos of their food on their menu!) and also assured us that Italians so indeed like Americans, but they don’t like the French. Ha!

Tip:  Order the house wine at restaurants – you’re in Italy; the wine is good!

Must See Attractions

Day 2 in Venice had us exploring some of the “must see” attractions: St. Mark’s Basilica, Doge’s Palace (Palazzo Ducale), The Bridge of Sighs, and the Rialto Bridge.  It was about a 30 minute walk straight from our hotel to St. Mark’s, but we stopped at locations along the way.  First we ducked into a café for a quick espresso and sandwich, then meandered towards St. Marks, stopping to look at some beautiful squares and churches along the way. The closer we got to St. Mark’s Square, the more crowded it got – and I mean thousands of people everywhere.  There are lots of tour groups, which can get annoying, as do all of the people with selfie sticks, but if you can manage to ignore all that and just enjoy the beauty of where you are, you’ll have a more pleasant day.

Venice, Italy

Tip:  When at a café, a coffee is an espresso, and you drink it standing at the bar.  You can also enjoy a sandwich or slice of pizza, then pay before you leave.

I was more impressed with Doge’s Palace than St. Mark’s, to be completely honest.  St. Mark’s Square is beautiful, but I was less impressed with the inside (and you have to stand in line to see the inside). You cannot take pictures inside, because it is a holy place, and you must be appropriately dressed – no bare arms, not hats, not big backpacks, etc.  I thought the views from outside were more spectacular.  The wait to get into Doge’s palace was about 15-20 minutes, so I recommend buying ahead and skipping the line.  We bought just the basic ticket – they’ll try to upsell you on buying tickets to four different museums, but the basic ticket is really all you need; the palace is huge and there is plenty to see there.

We were in awe of the intricate art work throughout the palace, all of the rooms that seemed to never end, connected to each other.  The Armory was impressive, with all sorts of swords and other weapons, and the prison was pretty cool, too.  We walked across The Bridge of Sighs and took a picture from inside, looking out (most people stand on the bridge opposite and take a picture of the outside, but it’s pretty cool to actually be inside of it).  This is the bridge that prisoners had to pass over while walking from the interrogation room to their cells in the prison, and was named because prisoners would “sigh” at their final view of beautiful Venice.

St. Mark’s Square

After a good 3 hours at St. Mark’s and Doge’s Palace, we walked back towards the Grand Canal, stopping at a quiet little café for some pizza and spritz.  We sat in the courtyard and watched locals walking by, out of the way of the tourists and crowds.  I cannot remember the name of the place, but we also enjoyed a traditional Venetian fish appetizer that had 5 different fish, including calamari in a marinara sauce, and cod prepared three different ways, one of which was the traditional baccala montecato, a creamed dried cod served on white polenta.  We devoured it, and then decided we needed a pizza!  After lunch, we sat on the edge of the Grand Canal facing the Rialto Bridge and did some people watching and had some gelato.  The Rialto Bridge is beautiful, but I found myself frustrated while crossing over it due to the crowd of people trying to take selfies.

Looking out from inside the Bridge of Sighs

Tip:  When in Venice, try some of the “typical” Venetian dishes which are seafood based like baccala montecato (mentioned above) or cuttle fish (which I didn’t try).

Because we had “lunch” so late in the day, we weren’t really hungry enough for a meal, so instead we wandered out in search of a spritz (the Italian drink of prosecco and aperol that we consumed every day).  We found a lively little walk-up place where the gentleman behind the bar was pouring spritz non-stop for a crowd of college-aged people.  There were a few other “older” folks like us as well.  We then wandered down the road, drinks in hand, in the direction of some music and came across a couple of guys in front of another café, playing guitar and singing American and British songs in a mixture of Italian and English.  The small crowd that had gathered were lively, singing and dancing.  We stayed, and eventually made our way inside for a sandwich and another drink.  It was nice to be in a place filled with locals instead of tourists; we felt like we were getting a taste of the “real” Venice.

What We Missed

Of course, I had lots of things on my list and knew we wouldn’t get to them all.  We never ordered risotto, did not take a gondola ride, and never made it to the islands of Murano and Burano, all of which were on the list of to-do’s.  But I still feel like we had a terrific experience in Venice.

Click here for Part 2:  Padova

  Italy Vacation: Part 1: Venice Travel Day We departed for our trip on the evening of March 27th, flying from Atlanta to Paris, then switching planes to head to Venice. 

[eliskadesign]

Building of the week: Hotel de Crillon, Paris and it’s recent renovation

Stepping into Paris’s newly redesigned Hôtel de Crillon, you may have the distinct feeling of being looked at. For the city’s most elite hotel, which has served as a gilded home away from home for royalty, politicians, and celebrities since the private mansion opened its doors to the public’s upper crust in 1909, the feeling is intentional. “I like the idea of a slightly theatrical arrival,” says Chahan Minassian, one of the three interior designers working alongside artistic director Aline d’Amman and architect Richard Martinet for the three-and-a-half-year renovation. In the various public spaces on the hotel’s ground floor, guests can “sit with privacy, yet see and be seen.” The social parade is something of a tradition for the Crillon, whose origins date back to the 18th century, when King Louis XV commissioned architect Ange-Jacques Gabriel to build a palatial facade to serve as an eye-catching backdrop for a statue of his likeness. Since then, the astounding neoclassical street-level arcade and first-floor Corinthian colonnade has played witness to some of the city’s most seminal events. Just in front on the now Place de la Concorde, Louis XVI married Marie Antoinette in 1770, the new queen took piano lessons behind its limestone walls (in the first-floor salon still bearing her name), and 23 years later they met their demise by guillotine. This place became the Place de la Révolution, saw the signing of the French-American treaty recognizing the Declaration of Independence, and witnessed the 1919 signing of the covenant of the League of Nations.

“To me, the Hotel Crillon is the embassy of Paris. When you cross the Place de la Concorde, there is no mistaking where you are,” says Minassian, echoing the sentiment that frequent guest Henri Salvador, a French Carribbean musician wrote in the hotel’s guestbook in 1984: “Hôtel de Crillon is Paris, Paris is Champagne, Champagne is France and France is my heart so Hôtel de Crillon is my heart.” It is a reputation forged by the Société des Grands Magasins et des Hôtels du Louvre, a luxury hotel group that bought the mansion in 1906. The Crillon featured electricity, running water, and a lift, says Brice Payen, a historian who worked with the hotel on its renovation. It was made distinctive in its approach to hospitality as an equally modern but much more discrete hôtel particulier—a grand private residence.

And so it went, that when Sophia Loren, Peggy Guggenheim, Orson Welles, Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi of Iran, or Queen Sofía of Spain came to Paris, they stayed at the Crillon. But like all historic buildings, the hotel eventually fell slightly out of step with its international clientele, its lobby a little dark, the lack of central air-conditioning an increasing obstacle against rising temperatures. Now the entrance’s slightly lifted ceilings (raised three feet) soak the lobby in light, while its division into smaller rooms with low tables and classically minded contemporary furnishings provide the feeling of being in a well-dressed home.

Just off the street to the right, the former location of the gastronomique Les Ambassadeurs has been transformed into a bar of the same name, allowing Parisiennes easier access to the watering hole that will feature signature cocktails and live music. Inside, the original chandeliers have been lowered for intimacy, while the original pastel frescoed ceiling has been given new life by way of tufts of warmly lit clouds meant to evoke the Parisian sky after the rain. The neighboring Jardin d’hiver takes its aubergine theme (see the glittering mica wall inlay and plush circular sofa) the from the original light fixtures dressed with amethyst drops. Here, the elephant in the room is Baccarat, designed in 1878.

Below foot, a newly designed spa gives way to a hotel guest–only, jewel-box, skylighted pool, flanked by oceanic walls in ceramic relief by American artist Peter Lane. But once upstairs, all eyes turn toward the sweeping views of the Place de la Concorde. On the first floor are “the most famous rooms of the hotel,” says Payen about the Salon Marie-Antoinette, the neighboring Salon des Aigles (named for the four original eagle cartouches symbolizing power, wisdom, abundance, and truth), and the Salon des Batailles, all of which feature a terrace only rivaled by that of the Bernstein Suite on the sixth floor, one of the hotel’s signature suites that boasts a view of the Eiffel Tower and Grand Palais. The opulence of the salons’ 18th-century details and panoramic views are difficult to top, but Karl Lagerfeld has tried.

Lagerfeld, a well-known authority on 18th-century antiques (his entire Parisian apartment is outfitted with the era’s best pieces, including Louis XV’s personal Aubusson rug), has brought his collector’s eye to Les Grands Appartements—two exquisitely over-the-top rooms on the hotel’s fourth floor. Opening to parque marble floors, the rooms feature theatrical baldachin beds, crisp his-and-hers dressing areas, and a living area set within carved wooden walls that have been painted seven times, then sanded down for an impeccably smooth surface with visual depth. In one bathroom, a red marble fountain from the hotel’s original courtyard has been reimagined as a sink. In another, a solid Carrera marble bathtub weighing in at two tons is both ripe for selfies and fit for a czar. The smallest of the Lagerfeld-designed rooms has been designed with his cat, Choupette, in mind. Photographs of Choupette hang on the walls of the diminutive suite, while the specially woven carpet features graphic cat scratches.

No matter how modern the flourishes, “All of the owners of the hotel wanted to preserve the 18th-century spirit of the hotel,” says Payen. “That has been a constant throughout the hotel’s history.” For the 124 newly redesigned guest rooms (paired down from 147), three restaurants (one featuring Michelin-star chef Christopher Hache), lavish bar, and discrete spa, the new Crillon is history in the making.

[freshfixer]

Finished my PhD

On Wednesday, March 1st, 2017 at 1500 I had my final PhD examination/defence. I was super nervous in the hours leading up to it... I passed and will need to make a few changes to the thesis before it’s ready to go, but it’s basically over! It hasn’t really sunk in yet... I don’t really feel very different. 

The bathroom mirror was gross and I had to spend a bunch of time in Lightroom with the spot remover to clean up the picture so this selfie would be acceptable LMAO

A few people from the lab came with me to celebrate, and we ate and had some dinner. We went to Koerner’s, the traditional post-graduation beer place on campus. I was a bit nervous cos I don’t really drink anymore. I had half a pint anyways, and we all had some good laughs before heading home.

My parents were in town to watch the defence and somehow decided that the morning after the exam, at 0800, it would be a good idea to drive to Seattle to visit my grand-uncle. So after the exam, and after the drinks, me and Rons went home to pack our suitcases and set our alarm for 0630 the next morning. We spent the next night in Seattle and drove back to Van the next day. Last night my parents and Ronnie’s met for the first time. Today I had lunch with my parents before they headed to the airport, and I’m finally kind of free right now... I’ve had a few moments on my own where I played some 2K, or worked on photos or went shopping online and didn’t feel guilty, but other than that it doesn’t really feel much different... 

Tomorrow I’ll wake up with no real responsibilities, and Ronnie will be at work. Maybe I’ll feel it then...

[gingerhotelsindia]

Easy Tricks for an Ethereal Experience in Hotel Rooms in Manesar

When we travel to a destination, we always focus on things outside the hotel such as the places of attraction that we should visit the eateries that shouldn’t be missed, the shopping destinations that are a delight for shopaholics, and the events that can be attended. Undoubtedly, these things create an unforgettable holiday experience but we shouldn’t forget to consider the place where we are going to stay.

While looking for hotel rooms in Manesar, we research about the hotel, a number of restaurants in the property, its location and distance from the major attractions, swimming pool, fitness centre, etc. to have a good hotel experience but what about the room experience? Do we actually consider it?

We must tell you that the hotel experience and room experience are two different terms. A hotel may have many amenities to make your stay experience great by offering complimentary breakfast, free shuttle service, a well-equipped gym, and multiple dining options but, you may not get a room that could delight you to the core.

To make your room experience count, you must use the following tips and tricks. Here they are-

What do want from your hotel room?

Before anything, you must find out what do you want from your hotel room? What kind of experience are you looking forward to? Do you want a room that is laden with all the modern gadgets or a room with a large window and a stunning view? Do you want a room with a grand bathroom or a room with a work desk?

If you know what you want, it would be easier for you to select an appropriate hotel. If you are holidaying with your family, you would want to book a room at family-friendly hotels in Manesar that have special rooms and facilities for families. If you are travelling with your partner, you would want a romantic room in a romantic hotel.

Unless you know what you are looking for, you won’t be able to get a room of your choice. So, the first thing you should do is to jot down your expectations from the room and then look for the hotels in Manesar.

Modern, traditional, or luxe

Not all the hotel rooms in Manesar are same. They are broadly divided into various categories like contemporary, traditional, luxe, and more. Every kind of room provides a one-of-a-kind experience to the guest. You should select the room as per the experience you want.

If your style is more upscale and contemporary, you should select contemporary hotel rooms for your stay. These rooms flaunt a very chic décor style with multiple state-of-the-art gadgets to enhance the stay experience of the guests. In these contemporary rooms, you will find sensor-enabled lightings, blinds that can be controlled by your smart mobile phone, automated thermostat, Alexa to take your instructions and other similar things.

If you are more interested in going back to the roots, you must select a traditional room with traditional design and décor inspiration.

A room with a view

Whether you select a modern room or a traditional one, if you have a room with a view, you will certainly have a great room experience.

A beautiful room with a beautiful view of the outside is a sure-shot way of improving your stay experience. A large window doesn’t just bring a lot of natural light in your room but also give you natural scenery to relish your ocular senses.

You can enjoy your morning tea or coffee by the window, click some beautiful selfies with a gorgeous backdrop, etc.

A room with a view will certainly add on to your room experience.

A neat and clean room

Here comes the most important thing that could literally make or break your room experience at the hotel room in Manesar.

You must always book a room in a good 4 or 5-star hotels in Manesar. Before doing so, you must first read the reviews and check the pictures posted by the former guests. This will give you an insight into the kind of rooms the hotel has. You won’t be able to get a clear picture of cleanliness through some photographs but at least you won’t be totally unaware of their hygiene measures. There are many websites that post the most genuine reviews, you will surely find out if the hotel is clean or not.

Also, make sure that the hotel offers you a good housekeeping service.

Add ons

If you feel a need for some special amenities that could contribute to enhancing your stay experience, you can request the hotel to offer you the same. A few add-ons will surely affect your budget but you will have a great experience in your hotel room. This is what matters at the end of the day.

Use these tips and tricks to have a great hotel room experience.

[biofunmy]

Why Does Everything Smell, So Peacefully, of Lavender?

Not long ago Erin Wexstten, the 35-year-old founder of Oxalis Apothecary, a plant-based skin care brand, ticked off all the ways she uses lavender in her life.

“I personally have lavender everywhere,” she said. “Hand soap, dish soap. I have sachets you stick in the drawer. It makes the underwear smell nice. Dried bunches. They make for a beautiful piece in a vase.”

Ms. Wexstten has spread the lavender love through her products, including Feel Good Potion, containing essential oil of lavender, and Reverie body oil, deodorant and a wildflower clay mask, which contains lavender in powder form as a gentle exfoliant.

“I call lavender the quiet queen — she’s purple majesty,” Ms. Wexstten said. “It’s an abundant plant. It isn’t a precious, exotic plant. It’s used everywhere.”

Indeed, these days there’s hardly a household, grooming or wellness product that hasn’t been infused with lavender’s sweet, antiseptic-clean aroma: candles, diffusers, shower gels, liquid hand sanitizer, face mists, eye masks. It’s even in food and — shudder — cocktails.

To feed the demand, hundreds of lavender farms have sprouted up in recent years far from their well-known location of Provence, France: in places like Maine, Kansas and West Virginia, where growing lavender on coal-stripped mountains is being explored as a land reclamation project.

The lavender selfie, typically a young woman wearing a prairie dress and a straw hat posing amid rows of purple blooms arcing to the horizon, has become an image ubiquitous on Instagram every June and July during harvest season.

The lavender field has become such a visual cliché on social media that Simon Porte Jacquemus, the French fashion designer, decided to subvert it by holding his spring 2020 fashion show in an actual field in Provence. “I wanted a place that looked like a postcard — almost too much like a postcard, even,” he told WWD.

Even when you’re not seeking it out, lavender has become hard to escape. A look around my own apartment revealed three bars of lavender bath soap; a lavender “relax” aromatherapy bar by Treestar; a vial of Ms. Wexstten’s Feel Good Potion; Sleep Well Therapy Balm by Scentered; Dr. Kerklaan Natural Sleep Cream with CBD extract and calming sensation citrus and lavender; a lavender-scented candle; a bouquet of dried lavender in a vase in the bathroom; and a small pillow stuffed with lavender to be placed under one’s nose at bedtime.

Many of these items are my wife’s. But lavender has entered the men’s grooming world too, in products like Jack Black post-shave cooling gel and overnight balm from the Art of Shaving. (And the bath soap was mine.)

Nature’s Chill Pill

If not a precious plant in modern times, lavender once carried the whiff of semi-luxury. If you stayed in a nice European hotel, your room had crisp linens scented with lavender. That bath soap would have been a special imported treat costing $15 a bar, not something I might have gotten at the corner CVS.

Lavender was a key ingredient in the bougie domestic fantasy sold by retailers like Williams Sonoma and L’Occitane en Provence. It wafted gently over the entire oeuvre of Peter Mayle, the author of “A Year in Provence,” among other books.

Now you can buy Downy Infusions Lavender Serenity fabric softener.

Linda G. Levy, the president of the Fragrance Foundation, an organization that promotes and supports the perfume industry, has noticed lavender as a highlighted ingredient in luxury fragrances like Libre, new from YSL, as well as popular perfumes like Ariana Grande’s Cloud, which features a top note of lavender and won the foundation’s fragrance of the year award this past June.

“Lavender is easy for consumers to translate,” Ms. Levy said. “It’s something they can understand without having to do a lot of research.”

Unlike ylang-ylang or vetiver, two other frequently used botanicals, “you hear ‘lavender’ and a visual comes to mind,” she added.

For Ms. Levy, it conjures a trip she took to Fayence, in the south of France. “Litter on the street there is lavender,” she said. For someone else, lavender may bring to mind a grandmother who used a sachet to freshen a dresser drawer.

Jeannie Ralston, a New York journalist turned Texas lavender farmer who wrote a memoir about her experience, “The Unlikely Lavender Queen,” believes lavender’s popularity comes, in part, from the way it activates all the senses, especially when standing amid rows of it.

“You’ve got the smell, but to look at it, it’s almost like a pointillist painting,” Ms. Ralston said. “It’s a beautiful, sensual experience to be in a lavender field.”

Dahlias planted tightly to the horizon can be beautiful, too. And roses also evoke grandmotherly nostalgia. But lavender promises something those plants don’t, something very much desired in this age of fractious politics, climate dread and unceasing demands on our time: escape.

Though the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans believed in its benefits, as both a cosmetic and a medicinal plant, lavender’s true time has come in the stressed-out early 21st century.

Clinical studies in both animals and humans have shown the plant to have calming effects, reducing anxiety and helping to bring on sleep. The key ingredient is linalool, an alcohol component of lavender odor. Sniffing it has been likened to popping a Valium.

Dr. Andrew Weil, the integrative medicine guru, hangs dry bundles of lavender in his bedroom as a sleep aid and cooks with the herb. In yoga studios, it’s a common practice for the instructor to end class by daubing essential oil of lavender on spent students’ temples. And the oil has long been used in aromatherapy.

Now, artisanal wellness brands and billion-dollar pharmaceutical companies alike have packaged and marketed lavender to a freaked-out populace. No longer is it just a nice way to freshen your linen drawer. It’s become a magic ingredient: a plant-based Prozac put into therapy balms, sleep creams and stress-relief moisturizing lotions, like the one from Aveeno, a division of Johnson & Johnson, which claims on the purply bottle that it “calms & relaxes.”

For consumers, especially millennials fluent in Goop-speak and hungry for ways to unplug from 24-7 work and digital lives, lavender has come to mean calm.

Anit Hora, 39, the founder of M.S Skincare, a vegan skin care line made in Brooklyn, sprays lavender mist around her office when things get hectic, and has hung dried bunches in her bathroom, pressing them to scent her shower. She also named the brand’s restorative lavender body oil Aum, after the yoga chant more commonly spelled “ohm.”

“It’s very calming to chant ‘ohm,’” Ms. Hora said. “And that’s the effect I wanted this to have.”

Ms. Wexstten’s Feel Good Potion is “there to reduce stress and anxiety in a world full of chaos,” she said. (The label instructs users to “apply to temples, third eye and wrists. Breathe deeply.”)

While Ms. Wexstten doesn’t think there’s a lavender boom, she said, “I think people are paying attention more, handling their self-care. In an old-world apothecary, lavender is not a new thing.”

Barbara Close, 59, grew up going to such apothecaries with her aunt, who lived outside Paris, and became familiar with the European tradition of using lavender and other herbs for grooming and health purposes.

“She loved to take me to these little herboristeries,” or herb shops, Ms. Close said. “They’d make her passion flower tincture.”

In 1995, Ms. Close founded Naturopathica, which operates day spas in Manhattan and East Hampton and sells skin care products and herbal remedies. It began as an herb shop like the ones she had known in France. “We had tinctures and teas, essential oils,” she said. “Back then, it was a strange concept for most people.”

Twenty-five years later, once-obscure herbs like echinacea are sold at CVS, adaptogens like Siberian ginseng and reishi are being touted as answers to any number of problems, and don’t get us started on turmeric. “Lavender,” Ms. Close said, “has gone along with that growth.”

According to the alternative medicine guides and lavender farmer websites, the herb is a cure-all for many, many ailments: anxiety, insomnia, migraines, depression, flatulence, hair loss and more.

“Some books have two, three pages of attributes that lavender possesses, and a lot of it seems far-fetched,” said Charley Opper, 68, an owner of Cache Creek Lavender Farm in Rumsey, Calif.

Mr. Opper makes body mist, bath soap and 21 other products from the lavender he grows, and he sticks with the folkloric wisdom that dates back to Pliny the Elder. “What I tell people is it’s a sleep aid, a relaxant and it does have anti-bacterial properties to it,” he said.

In all his years, Mr. Opper said, “I’ve only run into one or two people that said they did not like” the scent of lavender. And he has found a receptive audience for both his products and his message by driving three hours south each weekend, where a demographic of plugged-in, maxed-out tech workers are eager to buy nature’s chill pill.

“I go to Silicon Valley, and I market my products in Palo Alto and Menlo Park,” Mr. Opper said. “The essential oil that I sell at my stand is well sought after at this point.”

Crop This

But where does the most special, elite lavender come from? The royal purple fields of Valensole, France? Partly, yes. But also: Bulgaria.

Though the country has been slow to catch on as an Instagram destination, its temperate climate is ideal for growing lavender. To some noses, the Bulgarian strains are preferred over the French.

“It has a more distinct, exotic scent,” said Ms. Wexstten, who sources Bulgarian lavender for her products. “It doesn’t have that candy-like scent that a lot of lavender can have.”

The largest seller of essential oils in the world, the Utah-based doTerra, operates a distillery in Bulgaria, and production has increased exponentially to match demand, said Dr. Russell Osguthorpe, the company’s chief medical officer. The company sold about 38 kilograms of lavender oil in 2008, and sourced 152,000 kilograms to support sales in 2018.

“We have spent a long time optimizing our lavenders for their aroma because we use them in aromatherapy. You might even call it a pharmaceutical standard. Not all species of lavender are created equal.”

(Not all lavender is even grown in a field: It’s likely that the $3 bottle of lavender oil at the chain drugstore, or the liquid hand sanitizer at the supermarket, derives its lavender scent from synthetic perfume made in a laboratory.)

If the small and medium-size lavender farms stretching from the Sequim Valley in Washington State to the East End of Long Island don’t significantly contribute to industrial-scale production, they perform another role. No longer do Americans have to go to France to stand in a lavender field or picturesquely fill a straw basket with all-natural products.

When Ms. Ralston and her husband, Robb Kendrick, a photographer, started their commercial lavender farm in Texas, back in 2000, the couple had little experience with lavender. But the herb proved easy to grow and easier still to monetize.

“We ended up with 97 different lavender products,” Ms. Ralston said, ticking off a list that included bath balms, bath salts, bath oils, essential oils, eye creams, sachets and “lavender smokes,” or dried and bundled stalks to put on a fire. “We actually sold lavender-scented pencils at one point. And my husband said, ‘That’s enough.’”

One year, at the annual lavender festival the couple started, 17,000 people tramped through their fields in the Texas Hill Country.

“Lavender seems to be crack cocaine for a certain set of the population,” Mr. Kendrick said to Ms. Ralston at the time.

Thy sold the lavender farm to an employee in 2006 because they wanted to live for a time in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, and raise their sons to be bilingual. But Ms. Ralston, a founder of the digital magazine NextTribe, said there are times she wishes they had held on, watching how the American lavender craze has, yes, blossomed.

Aimee Crane, who four years ago started Bee Loved Lavender farm, has brought culinary lavender to northeast Ohio. Jim Morford has brought homemade soaps, lotions, creams and infused teas to Kansas (“You really have to want to grow it in our hot climate,” Mr. Morford said). And Kaia Nustad has brought the joy of lavender to the Carmel Valley in California (and to Etsy).

Last year, Ms. Nustad hosted 54 weddings on her eight-acre plot, and has sold thousands of lavender bouquets to brides. “Millennials love it for weddings,” she said. “It’s the new boho thing.”

Ms. Nustad discovered lavender’s popularity by accident, in 2014, when she visited a farm near the “lavender trail” in Washington. And two years after planting her own farm, she still asks herself what it is about lavender that makes people respond the way they do.

But, she reasoned, “I’ve never had a sad person on my farm. When you look out over the fields, it’s calming. It’s that serene calming feeling, like when you stare over the ocean.”

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[christophervanhorn]

Grand Canal Mall, Bonifacio, Manila

Near the top of every traveler’s Bucket List is a trip to Venice, Italy’s majestic and unique city where water canals make up every one of the streets. In fact, Venice is a series of about 100 small islands on a lagoon in the Adriatic Sea, with boats on waterways the only method of transportation (aside from sidewalks and bridges, of course) between them. So, if you want to see Venice and take in its Renaissance and Gothic Palaces, the famed Central Square, and historic St. Mark’s Basilica – and much more – you only have to book a plane ticket then reserve a hotel and pay for your food and everything else. In all, that should “only” run you $5,000 or so for a week – for one person.

But there is another way to take in the splendor of Venice’s canals, snap a family photo on a bridge over Venice’s waterways, and even take a gondola ride with a boatman who dresses in traditional Italian garb and even sings: visit the Grand Canal Mall in the Philippines.

Mall? The Philippines? Have you finally lost it, Norm?

Well, yes, I have – about the exact time I agreed to start working for AllWorld, to be honest!

But that doesn’t mean what I said isn’t accurate – you can at least get a sample of Venice with a great likeness built into a mall in the Philippines.

And I have to admit that it’s super cheesy…but…pretty awesome!

It’s actually the signature attraction to the appropriately-named Venice Grand Canal Mall located in the McKinley Hill area of Taguig, an upscale neighborhood of call centers and international business spaces in Manila.

I’m definitely not a “mall person,” but I just moved to the neighborhood, so my apartment at Morgan Suites is only two blocks away. Inevitably, a lot of the shops, services, and restaurants I frequent are at this mall, so I’m walking through once or twice a day.

The outside of the mall is notable in its own right, as it’s designed in a traditional historical Italian style (I was going to say something like “Neo-Classical,” but that would be BS because we both know I have NO idea about ancient architectural styles!). The entrance ways outside look like an ornate old church or palace you might see in a postcard, but also have dazzling modern lighting and several big fountains. But once you walk inside the mall (through tight security which will check into every bag and give you a quick pat down), you see the real attraction.

The whole center of the mall is an outdoor plaza made to look EXACTLY like the canals of Venice, Italy! As I mentioned, I think this is cheesy as hell, BUT they did a really amazing job with it, and for the average middle-class Filipino who will NEVER get a chance to visit the real thing in Italy, it’s a fun and different attraction. It’s also one of the most hashtagged and “selfied” spots in Manila, for obvious reasons.

But this is no simple photo op, as the canal dominates the whole center of the mall running an entire city block or more, with pristine blue-green waters that meander in a slight crescent. Two or three bridges span the waterways, which are made to look like traditional bridges you’d see in Venice, as well as shaded outdoor plazas to walk or just hang out on either side. They have plenty of outdoor restaurants and cafes with umbrellas so you can sit there are take it all in, as watching the jubilant crowd is part of the fun. One of the best features is an “island” in this canal, which is a small bridge that takes you to a perfectly circular modern building suspended over the water, where you can sit and drink a beer at night. Since the mall is open from around 11 am to 10 or 11 pm, the whole thing is bustling at night, with plenty of light displays and music making it a festive atmosphere.

I almost forgot to mention the gondolas! Yes, there are a handful of full-sized gondolas that roam the canal, constructed as exact replicas of what you’d find in Italy. Even the drivers are dressed perfectly to the part, pushing their way through the water with long oars and sometimes singing as they go.

I’m usually extremely cynical when it comes to commercialization and gimmicks like this, but, I must say, it’s actually pretty damn impressive. Of course, staying right there and seeing the mall every day, the novelty fades. But the Grand Canal Mall does offer some great practical options for me.

View this post on Instagram

The Venice Grand Canal Mall in Manila. Cheesy? Gimmicky? In-authentic? Maybe, but it’s also a pretty gorgeous setting and very fun!

A post shared by AllWorld.com (@allworldonline) on Jan 16, 2019 at 10:01am PST

So far, my favorites are:

Robinson Select grocery store The best option for buying food including fresh veggies – which are really hard to find – and other high quality and even western items. It certainly isn’t cheap, but just the presence of such a grocery store in walking distance is a godsend.

KarudaThe mall is big on fast food chains like Wendys, Jollibee, KFC, etc. and also plenty of low and medium-cost chains for Filipino food, but very few unique, tantalizing, and healthy restaurants. As far as I can see, the best bet is Karuda, which is an indoor-outdoor simple Japanese fusion restaurant. I get one of their bento box options, which is a ton of good food for about $6 and change – the best deal you’ll find! McKinley Hill Yoga Disclaimer: I’ve never actually been to a yoga class there, but I’ve made friends with one of the teachers and follow them every day online, and looks like a fantastic place for all skill levels and experience with yoga.

Big Boss Barber Shop A really cool gentlemen’s barber shop but with a more modern and open studio setting. It’s not cheap by Philippines standards (I’m like a broken record with that in Manila!) – about $7 just for a cut – but they do a wonderful job and take their time and really treat you like a superstar. FYI I asked if I get a discount for my bald spot but was DENIED!

Gold’s Gym Good gyms are hard to find here, and there tend to be only two kinds of gyms: the really simple, grimy, and pretty dirty local gyms (they’re cheap and full of amazing athletes but not very comfortable for westerners), and the higher-end chain gyms like Anytime Fitness and Gold’s here in Manila. Those tend to be a lot closer to the nice, airy, spacious, and clean gyms we’re used to back home – at least on face value. But they also can be really expensive – especially if you just drop in for a day or two. Either way, I thought Gold’s was my best option because it’s right at the Venice Grand Canal Mall and has a great layout. It’s on the third floor, so you’re looking out floor to ceiling windows on one whole wall at the canal and mall-goers walking around and having gun below.

DIY Moving into my little studio apartment two blocks away at Morgan Suites, I inevitably need A LOT of stuff to get settled in, including a fan, storage shelves, curtains, kitchen and bathroom stuff, and much more. There really aren’t Home Depots or that big U.S.-style hardware and home stores here in Manila that I’ve seen, so people rely on the little local hardware stores. DIY is like the equivalent to an ACE Hardware, and it’s right in the mall. Crazy expensive for a lot of things (like $40 for a shower rod!) because most of the stuff here is imported, but it’s better than nothing and super convenient.

Dental Hub I try to take good care of my choppers, and that means at least two visits to the dentist every year. I usually just found random dentists as I’ve traveled, which means some good ones (like in Angeles City) or some awful ones (like in Thailand). But, when I had a bad toothache and needed some real help, I was happy to see that there was a Dental Hub office right there in the mall – across from Gold’s Gym, actually! I found them to be super clean, modern with the latest tech, very professional and caring. So far, so good, and I’ll keep coming back for convenience and for that great service.

By the way, there are also several medical clinics located in the mall that look just as modern and nice, and, although I’ve been fortunate not to have to need one yet, it’s good to know it’s there!

Daiso This place is so cool – it’s a whole store dedicated to Japanese products for the home, from dishes and kitchenware to lighting, bedding, and tons of nick nacks and gadgets. Since they are Japanese (as opposed to Chinese), the stuff is good quality and works well, and priced surprisingly well. But it’s just fun to walk around and see their stuff that’s way different from items you’d find in the U.S.

Coffee lineup As a workaholic blogger and writer, I log A LOT of time sitting there with my laptop, hunting and pecking my way to a paycheck. I do work at home for a few hours every day but I definitely need two things:

A change of scenery with actual human beings around me, and COFFEE!

The fun part of the Venice Grand Canal Mall is that there are plenty of stores that are accessible from the street (outside the mall) or inside. In fact, on one whole side of the mall sit a lineup of coffee shops – Caffeine Row as I call it. There are literally five or six coffee places and cafes in a row, from Denny’s to UCC to Starbucks, Tim Hortons (my new favorite) and Coffee Bean. If I’m at risk for being over caffeinated and bopping my head to the music in my headphones to dramatically, I can just pick up and take my act to the next café!

There are also plenty of other events, concerts, and happenings at the mall – so visit Venice if you’re in the area!

The post Grand Canal Mall, Bonifacio, Manila appeared first on AllWorld.com.

source https://www.allworld.com/grand-canal-mall-bonifacio-manila/ source https://allworldus.tumblr.com/post/182214123892

[allworldus]

Grand Canal Mall, Bonifacio, Manila

Near the top of every traveler’s Bucket List is a trip to Venice, Italy’s majestic and unique city where water canals make up every one of the streets. In fact, Venice is a series of about 100 small islands on a lagoon in the Adriatic Sea, with boats on waterways the only method of transportation (aside from sidewalks and bridges, of course) between them. So, if you want to see Venice and take in its Renaissance and Gothic Palaces, the famed Central Square, and historic St. Mark’s Basilica – and much more – you only have to book a plane ticket then reserve a hotel and pay for your food and everything else. In all, that should “only” run you $5,000 or so for a week – for one person.

But there is another way to take in the splendor of Venice’s canals, snap a family photo on a bridge over Venice’s waterways, and even take a gondola ride with a boatman who dresses in traditional Italian garb and even sings: visit the Grand Canal Mall in the Philippines.

Mall? The Philippines? Have you finally lost it, Norm?

Well, yes, I have – about the exact time I agreed to start working for AllWorld, to be honest!

But that doesn’t mean what I said isn’t accurate – you can at least get a sample of Venice with a great likeness built into a mall in the Philippines.

And I have to admit that it’s super cheesy…but…pretty awesome!

It’s actually the signature attraction to the appropriately-named Venice Grand Canal Mall located in the McKinley Hill area of Taguig, an upscale neighborhood of call centers and international business spaces in Manila.

I’m definitely not a “mall person,” but I just moved to the neighborhood, so my apartment at Morgan Suites is only two blocks away. Inevitably, a lot of the shops, services, and restaurants I frequent are at this mall, so I’m walking through once or twice a day.

The outside of the mall is notable in its own right, as it’s designed in a traditional historical Italian style (I was going to say something like “Neo-Classical,” but that would be BS because we both know I have NO idea about ancient architectural styles!). The entrance ways outside look like an ornate old church or palace you might see in a postcard, but also have dazzling modern lighting and several big fountains. But once you walk inside the mall (through tight security which will check into every bag and give you a quick pat down), you see the real attraction.

The whole center of the mall is an outdoor plaza made to look EXACTLY like the canals of Venice, Italy! As I mentioned, I think this is cheesy as hell, BUT they did a really amazing job with it, and for the average middle-class Filipino who will NEVER get a chance to visit the real thing in Italy, it’s a fun and different attraction. It’s also one of the most hashtagged and “selfied” spots in Manila, for obvious reasons.

But this is no simple photo op, as the canal dominates the whole center of the mall running an entire city block or more, with pristine blue-green waters that meander in a slight crescent. Two or three bridges span the waterways, which are made to look like traditional bridges you’d see in Venice, as well as shaded outdoor plazas to walk or just hang out on either side. They have plenty of outdoor restaurants and cafes with umbrellas so you can sit there are take it all in, as watching the jubilant crowd is part of the fun. One of the best features is an “island” in this canal, which is a small bridge that takes you to a perfectly circular modern building suspended over the water, where you can sit and drink a beer at night. Since the mall is open from around 11 am to 10 or 11 pm, the whole thing is bustling at night, with plenty of light displays and music making it a festive atmosphere.

I almost forgot to mention the gondolas! Yes, there are a handful of full-sized gondolas that roam the canal, constructed as exact replicas of what you’d find in Italy. Even the drivers are dressed perfectly to the part, pushing their way through the water with long oars and sometimes singing as they go.

I’m usually extremely cynical when it comes to commercialization and gimmicks like this, but, I must say, it’s actually pretty damn impressive. Of course, staying right there and seeing the mall every day, the novelty fades. But the Grand Canal Mall does offer some great practical options for me.

View this post on Instagram

The Venice Grand Canal Mall in Manila. Cheesy? Gimmicky? In-authentic? Maybe, but it's also a pretty gorgeous setting and very fun!

A post shared by AllWorld.com (@allworldonline) on Jan 16, 2019 at 10:01am PST

So far, my favorites are:

Robinson Select grocery store The best option for buying food including fresh veggies – which are really hard to find – and other high quality and even western items. It certainly isn’t cheap, but just the presence of such a grocery store in walking distance is a godsend.

KarudaThe mall is big on fast food chains like Wendys, Jollibee, KFC, etc. and also plenty of low and medium-cost chains for Filipino food, but very few unique, tantalizing, and healthy restaurants. As far as I can see, the best bet is Karuda, which is an indoor-outdoor simple Japanese fusion restaurant. I get one of their bento box options, which is a ton of good food for about $6 and change – the best deal you’ll find! McKinley Hill Yoga Disclaimer: I’ve never actually been to a yoga class there, but I’ve made friends with one of the teachers and follow them every day online, and looks like a fantastic place for all skill levels and experience with yoga.

Big Boss Barber Shop A really cool gentlemen’s barber shop but with a more modern and open studio setting. It’s not cheap by Philippines standards (I’m like a broken record with that in Manila!) – about $7 just for a cut – but they do a wonderful job and take their time and really treat you like a superstar. FYI I asked if I get a discount for my bald spot but was DENIED!

Gold’s Gym Good gyms are hard to find here, and there tend to be only two kinds of gyms: the really simple, grimy, and pretty dirty local gyms (they’re cheap and full of amazing athletes but not very comfortable for westerners), and the higher-end chain gyms like Anytime Fitness and Gold’s here in Manila. Those tend to be a lot closer to the nice, airy, spacious, and clean gyms we’re used to back home – at least on face value. But they also can be really expensive – especially if you just drop in for a day or two. Either way, I thought Gold’s was my best option because it’s right at the Venice Grand Canal Mall and has a great layout. It’s on the third floor, so you’re looking out floor to ceiling windows on one whole wall at the canal and mall-goers walking around and having gun below.

DIY Moving into my little studio apartment two blocks away at Morgan Suites, I inevitably need A LOT of stuff to get settled in, including a fan, storage shelves, curtains, kitchen and bathroom stuff, and much more. There really aren’t Home Depots or that big U.S.-style hardware and home stores here in Manila that I’ve seen, so people rely on the little local hardware stores. DIY is like the equivalent to an ACE Hardware, and it’s right in the mall. Crazy expensive for a lot of things (like $40 for a shower rod!) because most of the stuff here is imported, but it’s better than nothing and super convenient.

Dental Hub I try to take good care of my choppers, and that means at least two visits to the dentist every year. I usually just found random dentists as I’ve traveled, which means some good ones (like in Angeles City) or some awful ones (like in Thailand). But, when I had a bad toothache and needed some real help, I was happy to see that there was a Dental Hub office right there in the mall – across from Gold’s Gym, actually! I found them to be super clean, modern with the latest tech, very professional and caring. So far, so good, and I’ll keep coming back for convenience and for that great service.

By the way, there are also several medical clinics located in the mall that look just as modern and nice, and, although I’ve been fortunate not to have to need one yet, it’s good to know it’s there!

Daiso This place is so cool – it’s a whole store dedicated to Japanese products for the home, from dishes and kitchenware to lighting, bedding, and tons of nick nacks and gadgets. Since they are Japanese (as opposed to Chinese), the stuff is good quality and works well, and priced surprisingly well. But it’s just fun to walk around and see their stuff that’s way different from items you’d find in the U.S.

Coffee lineup As a workaholic blogger and writer, I log A LOT of time sitting there with my laptop, hunting and pecking my way to a paycheck. I do work at home for a few hours every day but I definitely need two things:

A change of scenery with actual human beings around me, and COFFEE!

The fun part of the Venice Grand Canal Mall is that there are plenty of stores that are accessible from the street (outside the mall) or inside. In fact, on one whole side of the mall sit a lineup of coffee shops – Caffeine Row as I call it. There are literally five or six coffee places and cafes in a row, from Denny’s to UCC to Starbucks, Tim Hortons (my new favorite) and Coffee Bean. If I’m at risk for being over caffeinated and bopping my head to the music in my headphones to dramatically, I can just pick up and take my act to the next café!

There are also plenty of other events, concerts, and happenings at the mall – so visit Venice if you’re in the area!

The post Grand Canal Mall, Bonifacio, Manila appeared first on AllWorld.com.

source https://www.allworld.com/grand-canal-mall-bonifacio-manila/

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Twelve Reasons Why the Chainsmokers Are Failing at Love

As the most infamous and possibly the most successful new group in America, the Chainsmokers offer a clear lesson in how white men can remain relevant in an increasingly diversified pop landscape: through self-erasure. The EDM duo’s chart hits throughout 2016, leading up to “Closer,” the monster earworm that spent most of last fall atop the Billboard Hot 100, epitomized a widespread practice in which often male DJs hire often female singers to lend their tracks content and charisma. Tracks such as “Rozes,” “Don’t Let Me Down,” and “All We Know” inhabit an established corporate style sufficiently, slickly, and anonymously. The electronic surface is so smooth that the perky plaints of singers like Daya and Phoebe Ryan disappear right into it. Adherence to the broadest of EDM pop conventions functions less as selling point than admittance badge; pretty polish, aching melodies, drops that sway rather than crunch — voila, songs perfect for filling dead space on the radio, even if they suggest only a generalized style without approaching a particular one. Such is the appeal of the blank slate. As for “Closer” itself, its chart success appears to have convinced the Chainsmokers, at heart studious entrepreneurs on the lookout for statistical affirmation, that they’d found the paradigm for their subsequent career. Their full-length debut, Memories… Do Not Open, out since April, lives in the shadow of their greatest hit.

As public figures, the Chainsmokers fascinate in their odd disparity between art and persona. Andrew Taggart (the cute one) and Alex Pall (the smart one) give interviews to Billboard and Rolling Stone where they strike various absurd poses for the camera, including one marvelous shot in Billboard in which they stand waist-deep in a pool in their t-shirts and jeans, holding glasses of beer while spouting quasi-parodic approximations of so-called locker room talk that I won’t quote here, so as not to upset delicate sensibilities. They present themselves as pop radio’s very own “tech bros,” as Billboard’s Chris Martins puts it, covertly sincere young men who party hard and spend too much money on luxury goods while working obsessively to refine their business model.

But their hits, unobtrusive as dance songs and nebulous as love songs, could have been generated by any artist, or algorithm, with any persona, in any state of mind; what they lack, at the very least, is a spirit of enjoyment that one expects from nominal party animals. Sleek nullities like “Rozes” and “Don’t Let Me Down” exist in a referent-free vacuum: bland genericism can’t be reliably traced back to the lab that engineered it. Perhaps one might look for fingerprints in the reflection of the synthesizer polish, but these songs are purposefully anonymous — the sung chorus’s subservience to the instrumental drop decentralizes the singer, while midtempo caution and mildly glowing synth textures decentralize the drop. As for the elusive, centered subject — the Chainsmokers themselves — they’re gone, their presence hardly evident in the songs at hand. Even when Taggart takes the mic, he’s such a nothing singer that he fails to evince even the slightest hint of personality. They’ve established a brand through public relations; their music needn’t follow suit.

Their breakthrough hit, which is also their only fabulous song, 2014’s “#Selfie,” stands as an anomaly in their catalog for its energetically abrasive beat and spoken vocals. Over spritzy, crunchy, percussive synthesizer bounce, a delightfully narcissistic young woman played by Alexis Killacam recites a monologue consisting of exaggerated stereotypes meant to indicate the shallowness of clubgoers, California girls, or both: “After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette? I really need one. But first, let me take a selfie.” Whatever their intentions (who cares?), and however immature and/or sexist the song may be, it reads as a love letter — adolescent boys mocking adolescent girls to mask jealousy and admiration. Behold Frank Zappa’s clumsily cruel “Valley Girl” done with love. However tiresome her bubbly cadence, the details of her life do sound like fun: dancing in the club, drinking with friends, and eventually going home with her crush. The song projects not scorn but rather an amusing defense of clubgoers, dance music, and a species of shallowness that may also be a species of fun. At the time, the song was misread as merely contemptuous of its subject and dismissed as a novelty single by critics who didn’t understand that such a categorization needn’t amount to dismissal. Then the Chainsmokers stuck around, longer than most artists behind so-called novelty singles. Their subsequent series of increasingly dull hits, exercises in crafted electronica whose glistening keyboard whooshes and muted hooks ostensibly stand in for eroticism (in “Rozes” especially), functioned as a solemn corrective to the frivolity of “#Selfie.” Then came “Closer”, Andrew Taggart’s first time as a singer in a duet alongside guest star Halsey, and their career trajectory, along with modern romance itself, was forever changed.

The dirty little secret behind “Closer” is that the insufferable ex Taggart can’t help repeatedly crawling back to symbolizes hookup culture itself. Don’t believe the literal reading that the song concerns two people. Taggart, whose mild croak renders him an everyman figure, and Halsey, whose fuller, more enthusiastic cry tastes like liquid sugar by comparison, meet in a hotel bar and rekindle the flame of days past, while a feelgood keyboard hook occupying the drop position sets a defiantly celebratory tone. The repeated proclamation “We ain’t ever getting older” might have been a slogan of fist-pumping triumph, but there’s a melancholy to it, for to never get older means to never mature, which means to never find your one true love and settle down. A whole generation of young people’s anxieties about intimacy, casual sex, and commitment informs “Closer,” to the extent that it fails to parse if Taggart and Halsey are viewed as individuals: the song’s hysteria exists on a scale too grand for one couple. Rather, “Closer” concerns an endless hookup cycle that doesn’t satisfy but keeps beckoning because breaking the cycle is hard and the alternative, prolonged intimacy, is scary. The pretty hook offers nominal catharsis, but it’s bittersweet; to pump one’s fist during the drop in “Closer” is to acknowledge one’s erotic life as frustrating, impersonal, scripted, and insufficient. If the platitude about millennials participating in casual sex while secretly hating it holds any truth, then Taggart and Halsey are its avatars, standing in for whole generational attitudes; as singers they scream past each other and fail to connect, doomed to fuck a repetitively steady stream of anonymous ciphers for the rest of eternity.

Likewise, Memories… Do Not Open articulates the romantic anxieties that supposedly plague affluent, heterosexual millennials, and perhaps fratboys most of all. “Break Up Every Night,” in which Taggart “don’t wanna wait until she finally decides to feel it” so he “build[s] the bridges up again,” sums up an album whose midtempo electroballads affirm every idiotic cliché about young people, technology, social media, narcissism, casual substance use, casual sex, and the collapse of traditional dating — it’s as if Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall have read every incoherent thinkpiece on the internet about their own generation and internalized said thinkpieces in a weird ritual of guilt and self-hate. Imagine one of those plaintive and/or smug Odyssey listicles explaining Twelve Reasons Why Millennials are Failing at Love, translated into its album equivalent. Look, I’ll write that listicle now:

1. We’re scared to settle down (“The One”).

2. We’re individualistic and goal-driven, at the expense of our partners’ needs (“Break Up Every Night”).

3. We party too much and do too many drugs (“Bloodstream”).

4. Wealth and access to technology makes many of us egocentric, and that means we’re insensitive toward our partners and their needs (“Don’t Say”).

5. We hold out for too long, because we grew up watching Disney and superhero movies and have unrealistic expectations (“Something Just Like This”).

6. We’re scared to define our relationships past the casual stage (“My Type”).

7. Sex with strangers becomes routinized (“It Won’t Kill Ya”).

8. We care about our image on social media more than we care about real relationships (“Paris”).

9. We can’t commit to one person (“Honest”).

10. We’re materialistic and brand-conscious (“Wake Up Alone”).

11. We make excuses to avoid dealing with our feelings (“Young”).

12. We have a horrible weakness for triumphalist sentimentality and EDM power ballads that diagnose our perceived generational maladies (“Last Day Alive,” also the whole record).

Whether or not these spurious criticisms apply — to individuals? to a whole generation? meaning whom? maybe just the Chainsmokers? or their fans? — they make for a tedious, self-defeating album, dotted with songs that keep fussing over their own failure to have a good time. “Break Up Every Night” spirals around glowing, percussive synth stabs with winning energy, while “It Won’t Kill Ya” sways alluringly over cautious piano chords during the verses and woozy airhorn during the drop, but mostly even the upbeat songs go through the motions on autopilot. Perhaps juicier beats would do the trick, but the Chainsmokers’ brand of EDM softcore, lightweight keyboard yearning in processed pastel shades, produces drab ear candy with sickly clumps of sugar inappropriately concentrated in single spots. Strummed guitars and plucked pianos are integrated smoothly and hardly make a difference. Nor, paradoxically, does the thematic focus relieve their anonymity. Working squarely within the guidelines of current radio convention and consequently confining themselves within a tighter box than is actually necessary to achieve airplay, these are punishingly generic songs, perhaps because speaking for a whole generation involves the widening and hence blurring of one’s scope. Taggart’s eagerly clumsy drawl and Emily Warren’s smoky croon suggest roles too composite to reveal any character of their own; Coldplay’s Chris Martin on “Something Just Like This,” while intolerably sincere in much the same way, at least sounds like himself. To further dilute the record, they don’t even include “Closer,” leaving the hookless “Paris” and the honorably, expediently soaring “Something Just Like This” to remind listeners that yes, indeed, they are a frequent radio presence.

Memories… Do Not Open would be an object lesson in the perils of universality and the blank slate, if it hadn’t topped the Billboard 200. Positive market feedback ensures the production of more music like this in the future. Taggart and Pall hold up a distorted mirror to their audience, showing fans the ugliest versions of themselves. I wish American consumers didn’t identify, as they say.

Memories…Do Not Open (2017) and Closer (2016) are available from Amazon and other online retailers.

The post Twelve Reasons Why the Chainsmokers Are Failing at Love appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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